Buying the Girlfriend Experience: an Exploration of Men's Experiences

ASSOCIATION FOR CONSUMER RESEARCH

Labovitz School of Business & Economics, University of Minnesota Duluth, 11 E. Superior Street, Suite 210, Duluth, MN 55802

Buying the Girlfriend Experience: an Exploration of Men’S Experiences With Escort Workers Aimee Huff, University of Western Ontario, Canada

This study explores the men’s consumption of a commercial sex encounter known as the girlfriend experience (GFE). To derive value from the GFE, the consumer must provide more than money: he must commit emotional intimacy and reciprocal pleasure. GFE consumption is linked theoretically to value co-creation, pleasure, and consumer fantasies.

[to cite]: Aimee Huff (2011) ,"Buying the Girlfriend Experience: an Exploration of Men’S Experiences With Escort Workers ", in NA - Advances in Consumer Research Volume 39, eds. Rohini Ahluwalia, Tanya L. Chartrand, and Rebecca K. Ratner, Duluth, MN : Association for Consumer Research, Pages: 447-448.

[url]: http://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/1009256/volumes/v39/NA-39

[copyright notice]: This work is copyrighted by The Association for Consumer Research. For permission to copy or use this work in whole or in part, please contact the Copyright Clearance Center at http://www.copyright.com/. Buying the Girlfriend Experience: An Exploration of Men’s Experiences with Escort Workers Aimee Huff, University of Western Ontario, Canada

EXTENDED ABSTRACT nent is essential to the GFE, and is closely intertwined with the req- Cuddling and talking – we shared interests, but most uisite physical intimacy. These two hedonic and highly emotional as- importantly, she made me feel like there was no other place she pects comprise the pleasure in GFE (Holbrook and Hirschman 1982), would rather be in that moment in time. (Lub, Montreal) and this pleasure is of a covert nature (Frank 2002; Malarek 2009): johns are highly concerned with keeping their dirty little secrets from The informant who posted this comment is not referring to his family and friends, in part due to the socially contentious nature of wife or girlfriend, but to an encounter with a female sex worker – an prostitution usage, and in part due to the physical risks associated escort – with whom he shared a particular type of commercial sex with their hobby. The pleasure of GFE is a flow experience, wherein encounter known as the girlfriend experience (GFE). As the focus the john’s total immersion in the high-risk context provides a ca- of this paper, the GFE differs from other types of commercial sex thartic and highly satisfying end state, which he seeks to experience encounters in that it involves more than the exchange of money for again (Celsi, Rose, and Leigh 1993). sex; in order to derive the true value of the GFE, the male customer This context also provides an interesting perspective on value must not only pay the sex worker, but must also provide her with sex- co-creation. Deriving value – in the form of pleasure – from the GFE ual pleasure and emotional intimacy. The result is that the encounter requires the john to give more than money. He is compelled to give a feels, to him, more like a romantic encounter with a girlfriend than short-term commitment of emotional and physical intimacy, and he straight-up sex. For an hour or two, or perhaps an entire evening, becomes accountable for his own level of pleasure in the consump- the customer indulges in his fantasies of a romantic encounter with tion experience. That is, he derives pleasure from ensuring that the a legitimate girlfriend and seeks to be perceived as a nice guy by escort has a pleasurable experience, and from adequately performing the escort. This context provides the basis for an examination of the his role in the GFE such that he can form a temporary emotional con- ways in which consumers engage in a form of consumption that has nection with her. The escort and the john have roles that require and been largely overlooked by consumer researchers, and how consum- enable them to create value together (Payne, Storbacka, and Frow ers experience the blurring of boundaries between purely transac- 2008), and the john becomes essential as a co-producer of the service tional service encounters and those that entail a deeper connection (Vargo and Lusch 2004). between provider and consumer. In addition to shedding light on this Immersion in the fantasy of the girlfriend is critical to the GFE. consumption context in the form of description, I seek to illuminate As he works to perform and co-create value from the experience, the some aspects of GFE consumption that are theoretically interesting john engages in a temporary escape from reality wherein the norms (beyond the context itself) to consumer researchers. of everyday life are suspended (Goulding et al. 2009). The fantasy The purpose of this paper is to explore the experiences of male revolves around a romanticized notion of what a girlfriend is, not the customers of escorts who provide GFE. In doing so, I offer a deep- reality (Belk and Costa 1998). The more adept the john becomes at er understanding of the consumption of covert pleasure, consumer immersing himself in the fantasy and performing his role in the GFE, fantasies, and the ways in which consumers co-create value in the the more value he derives from the experience and the better he per- consumption experience. While different forms of prostitution exist, forms in subsequent GFEs (Holbrook et al. 1984). I am explicitly concerned with indoor prostitution, which encom- In this study, I seek to establish some preliminary connections passes call-girls, escort services, and massage parlor workers. The between a rather novel research context and three existing streams of motivation for this focus is two-fold. First, there is substantially less consumer research. These connections provide the basis for further research on indoor prostitution, in comparison with street prostitu- developments in our understanding of experiential consumption, the tion. Second, and more important for this consumer research, “indoor ways that consumers engage in play and fantasy to derive pleasure, [commercial sex] interactions are typically longer, multifaceted, and how consumers manage and experience consumption in a secretive more reciprocal” than interactions between street prostitutes and context, and the ways that consumers can play an active role in value their customers (Weitzer 2009, 220). Therefore, the experiences of co-creation. male customers of indoor prostitutes are more likely to be character- istic of a romantic, intimate encounter with a partner (Malarek 2009; References Sanders 2008), and therefore be of greater curiosity to consumer Arnould, Eric J. (2006), “Service-Dominant Logic and Consumer researchers interested in the blurring of boundaries between com- Culture Theory: Natural Allies in an Emerging Paradigm,” mercial transactions and social relationships. Further, I take a rather in Research in Consumer Behavior: Consumer Culture narrow perspective on sex work. I am explicitly concerned with con- Theory, ed. Russell W. Belk and John F. Jr. Sherry, San Diego: sumption of prostitution services in a context where use of such ser- Elsevier. vices is legal, and I choose to focus on a context where sex workers Belk, Russell W. and Janeen Arnold Costa (1998), “The Mountain are more likely to be employed of their own free will (Weitzer 2009). Man Myth: A Contemporary Consuming Fantasy,” Journal of Using a combination of netnography and depth interviews, I Consumer Research, 25 (December), 218-40. seek to understand how customers (i.e., johns) experience and reflect Bernstein, Elizabeth (2007), “Buying and Selling The “Girlfriend on GFE. Findings are organized around three central consumption Experience”: The Social and Subjective Contours of Market themes: covert pleasure, co-creation of value, and consumer fanta- Intimacy,” in Love and Globalization: Transformations of sies. Intimacy in the Contemporary World, ed. Mark B. Padilla, GFE is defined by covert pleasure – a combination of emotional Jennifer S. Hirsch, Miguel Munoz-Laboy, Robert E. Sember and physical intimacy in a context where consumption is socially and Richard G. Parker, Nashville, TN: Vanderbilt University contentious and often kept secret. The emotional intimacy compo- Press.

Celsi, Richard L., Randall L. Rose, and Thomas W. Leigh (1993), Macleod, Jan, Melissa Farley, Lynn Anderson, and Jacqueline “An Exploration of High-Risk Leisure Consumption through Golding (2008), “Challenging Men’s Demand for Prostitution Skydiving,” Journal of Consumer Research, 20 (June), 1-23. in Scotland,” Glasgow: Women’s Support Project. Fitchett, James A. (2004), “The Fantasies, Orders and Roles Malarek, Victor (2009), The Johns: Sex for Sale and the Men Who of Sadistic Consumption: Game Shows and the Service Buy It, Toronto: Key Porter Books. Encounter,” Consumption, Markets & Culture, 7 (4), 285-306. McLaren, Leah (2010), “The Secret Life of a Bay Street Hooker,” Frank, Katherine (2002), G-Strings and Sympathy: Strip Club in Toronto Life Vol. December, Toronto: St. Joseph Media Regulars and Male Desire, Durham: Duke University Press. Corp. Goulding, Christina (2003), “Issues in Representing the Monto, Martin A. (2000), “Why Men Seek out Prostitutes,” in Sex Postmodern Consumer,” Qualitative Market Research - An for Sale, ed. Ronald J. Weitzer, New York: Routledge. International Journal, 6 (3), 152-59. --- (2004), “Female Prostitution, Customers, and Violence,” Goulding, Christina, Avi Shankar, Richard Elliott, and Robin Violence Against Women, 10 (2), 160-88. Canniford (2009), “The Marketplace Management of Illicit Payne, Adrian F., Kaj Storbacka, and Pennie Frow (2008), Pleasure,” Journal of Consumer Research, 35 (February), “Managing the Co-Creation of Value,” Journal of the Academy 759-71. of Marketing Science, 36, 83-96. Holbrook, Morris B., Robert W. Chestnut, Terence A. Oliva, and Sanders, Teela (2008), “Male Sexual Scripts: Intimacy, Sexuality Eric A. Greenleaf (1984), “Play as a Consumption Experience: and Pleasure in the Purchase of Commercial Sex,” Sociology, The Roles of Emotions, Performance, and Personality in the 42 (3), 400-17. Enjoyment of Games,” Journal of Consumer Research, 11 Sawyer, Steven, Michael E. Metz, Jeffrey D. Hinds, and Robert A (September), 728-39. Brucker, Jr. (2001), “Attitudes Towards Prostitution among Holbrook, Morris B. and Elizabeth C. Hirschman (1982), “The Males: A “Consumers’ Report”,” Current Psychology, 20 (4), Experiential Aspects of Consumption: Consumer Fantasies, 363-76. Feelings, and Fun,” Journal of Consumer Research, 9 Vargo, Stephen L. and Robert F. Lusch (2004), “Evolving to a New (September), 132-40. Dominant Logic for Marketing,” Journal of Marketing, 68 Holt, Thomas J. and Kristie R. Blevins (2007), “Examining Sex (January), 1-17. Work from the Client’s Perspective: Assessing Johns Using --- (2008), “Service-Dominant Logic: Continuing the Evolution,” on-Line Data,” Deviant Behavior, 28, 333-54. Journal of the Academy of Marketing Science, 36, 1-10. Holzman, Harold R. and Sharon Pines (1990), “Buying Sex: The Vargo, Stephen L., Paul P. Maglio, and Melissa Archpru Akaka Phenomenology of Being a John,” in Deviant Behavior, ed. (2008), “On Value and Value Co-Creation: A Service Systems Clifton D. Bryant, New York: Hemisphere Publishing Corp. and Service Logic Perspective,” European Managment Kozinets, Robert V. (2010), Netnography: Doing Ethnographic Journal, 26, 145-52. Research Online, Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE. Weitzer, Ronald (2005), “New Directions in Research on Le Bel, Jordan L. and Laurette Dube (1998), “Understanding Prostitution,” Crime, Law & Social Change, 43, 211-35. Pleasures: Source, Experience, and Remembrances,” in --- (2009), “Sociology of Sex Work,” Annual Review of Sociology, Advances in Consumer Research, Vol. 25, ed. Joseph W. 35, 213-34. Alba and J. Wesley Hutchinson, Provo, UT: Association for Weitzer, Ronald J. (2000), “Why We Need More Research on Sex Consumer Research. Work,” in Sex for Sale, ed. Ronald J. Weitzer, New York: Lever, Janet and Deanne Dolnick (2000), “Clients and Call Girls: Routledge. Seeking Sex and Intimacy,” in Sex for Sale, ed. Ronald J. Zelizer, Vivianna (2005), The Purchase of Intimacy, Princeton, NJ: Weitzer, New York: Routledge. Princeton University Press. Lowman, John and Chris Atchison (2009), “Men Who Buy Sex: A Survey in the Greater Vancouver Regional District,” Canadian Review of Sociology, 43 (3), 281-96.