The boundaries of Jewish community are questioned as we address the parameters of conversion.

Love Means Never Having to be Proactive Egon Mayer

aking some liberties with the romantic slogan Bass, 1999)’ Gary Tobin has breathed new energy into of the sixties - love means never having to say the outreach manifesto first put forth by Tyou’re sorry - I propose that when it comes to Alexander Schindler to the Board of Directors of the the Jewish community’s relationship with persons of Union of American Hebrew Congregationsin Decem- another faith who might be considering ”joining” the ber 1978. In his capacity as President of the UAHC, Jewish people, the slogan ought to be: love means Schindler proclaimed: never having to be proactive. I admit, my slogan ’2etusestab~informaticmcentersmmyplaces, doesn’t have the same charrn or well-publicized courses in OUT euphony. But it is meant to alert Synagogues, and devefop suit- able publicaths serve us to a complex responsibility, facilitiesmdpurposes.Ina,to these a responsibility to Individuals, Those seeking to be to families, to the Jewish com- part of the fabric I propose that we respond munity., and to the core tenets openly and @tidy to those of . of the Jewish GOdd~Whoee~leads The issue before us is how community are not themto0urdoop;~voktplfar- the Jewish community is to be ily ask for our knowkc@?.” more Welcoming toward indi- necessarily First Schindler and now viduals who are not Jewish, but Tobin make the case that un- who may be already joined to ”God-seekers.” der the circumstances of a Jewish family by marriage or contemporary American who might be attracted to the Jewry, with a high intermar- Jewish people through other intimate or emotional/ riage rate and a high degree of respect for spiritual associations. In such a discussion we must and Judaism in the society at large, the organized clearly distinguish those many circumstances in which Jewish Community ought to take programmatic an otherwise fully Jewish family adopts a child who is steps to encourage and facilitate the conversion not of Jewish parentage. One always has to be ”proac- of non-Jews. While Schindler merely called for a tive” with infants and children, whether it be in matters more positive and welcoming attitude toward of health, safety, education, or religious identity. The ”God-seekers whose search leads them to our matter is quite different when one is dealingwith adults. door,” Tobin calls for the active and program- In a recent book, Opening fk Gates: How Pmtiw matic encouragement of conversion by the orga- Conversion an Revitalize fke Jm’sh~~~ni~ (Jossey- nized Jewish community. :i

INSIDE Nina Beth Cardin: Of Borders and Boundaries ...... 7 Egon Mayer: Love Means Never Having ...... 1 Rachel Cowan: NiSh’ma ...... 9 Gary A. Tobin: The Case for Proactive Conversion .... 3 Yossi Beilin. 21st Century Judaism ...... 10 Jack Wertheimer: Let‘s Not Undermine ...... 4 Book Review ...... 11 Deborah Dash Moore: Today’s Ruth ...... 6 Letter to the Editor ...... 12

Sh’ma October 1999 0 http:/ /www.shma.com Egon Mayer is Professor uf Sociology at Brooklyn Col- also directs the

[email protected]. 0

e for Proactive Conversion A. TOETI

Sh’ma * Octoh 1999 @ hq:J/wxvw.shma.com viduals who are interested in either faith, cornm~116ty, community. must overcome a host of per- or both. Both gates should be open, and one may lead sonal feelings and institutional constraints to pro- to the other. Proactive conversion encourages all entry- mote conversion. They cannot send mixed messages ways into Jewish life; not just what Egon Mayer calls or equivocate. Some rabbis have achieved this suc- conversion for ”God-seekers.” cess. Their ranks must grow dramatically if the Jew- America is a culture of denominational ”switch- ish community is to flourish. ing.” Individuals born into one religious group may Actively promoting conversion is a process far . choose another, and often do. Judaism, like other reli- beyond the ament system of reluctant and grudg- gious groups, needs to be a destination as well as an ing acceptance of those who can clear all the hurdles origin. Converts can also be culled from disaffected that a hostile institutional and organizational net- members of other religious groups, individuals who work puts forward for those who might consider follow their current religion because they have not becoming Jewish. The outreach focus must be much thought of anything else. broader than the non-Jewish spouses of Jews. The Egon Mayer also states that conversion - in the models of success must become the norm rather hands of the rabbinate- is problematic. If the rabbinate than the exception. Millions of potential Jewishlives remains unchanged, he is correct. But envisioning a are now unrealized. This is an individual and com- healthy, proactive conversion strategy also includes munal shame. Proactive conversion can help revi- imagining a radically different rabbinate, with very talize the Jewish community. Rethinking the Jew- different approaches to conversion. The Jewish com- ish future without rethinking the communal ap- munity cannot effectively deal with the issues sur- proach to conversion is a communal death wish. rounding conversion without a new set of attitudes and behaviors from most rabbis. Dr. Gay A. Tobin is President of the Institute for Many rabbis still use the language of tests, exams, Jewish 6’Community Research in San Francisco. He and job interviews when dealing with potential con- is also Director of the Leonard and Madlyn verts. The obstacles they put in front of converts are Abramson Program in Jewish Policy Research, very destructive. Rabbis need to be cheerleaders, not Center for Policy Options at the University of Ju- prison guards. They need to help unlock the doors daism in Los Angeles. Dr. Tobin is a planning con- and gates, not bar them. They need to welcome po- sultant with the United Jewish Communities, and tential converts with smiles and challenges, not frowns a number of major Jewish foundations. His most and declarations of the improbable, difficult, or unat- recent books are Opening the Gates: How Proac- tainable. Rather than ask people to prove why they tive Conversion Can Revitalize the Jewish Com- want to be Jewish, rabbis should advocate for Ju- munity and Rabbis Talk About Intermarriage. Dr. daism, explaining why it is good to be a Jew, the Tobin is now working on a new book, Philanthropy positive benefits for the individual, family, and in the Modern Jewish Community.

Let’s Not Undermine Religious Conversion Jack Wertheimer

ates of reached unprec- greater ”hospitality” were introduced in the 1980s, edented levels in the 1970s and early 1980s in rates of conversion to Judaism declined steeply The R response to two factors:families exerted strong Reform movement redefined Jewish identity in its pressures on their intermarrying offspring to create decision on “patrilineality,” and congregations in- Jewish homes; and synagogues established educational cluded non-Jewish spouses as active participants in programs to facilitate the conversion of non-Jews mar- their religious services and governance. These actions ried to Jews. But then, when new initiatives toward undoubtedly encouraged some conversions to Juda-

Sh’ma October 1999 http:/ /www.shma.com 0 hq:/ /www.sh.ma.com Today’s Ruth Deborah Dash Moore

n the book of Ruth we read an extraordinary ex- So where does this leave today’s Ruth? Does pression of love between two women, spoken by Judaism have room for someone who wants to fol- Ia daughter-in-law to her mother-in-law. The text low a secular path of joining a people rather than a has often been read as a reflection of Judaism’s po- religious journey of adopting a new faith? Have we sition on intermarriage because Ruth, a Moabite, drawn boundaries designed to deter the intrepid becomes the great-grandmother of David, King of Is- adventurer who is ready to commit first to an indi- rael. It is worth looking at two verses (Ruth 1:16-17): vidual Jew and then to a religious civilization? “Do not urge me to leave you, to turn back and not Taking Ruth’s journey as our guide, we imag- follow you. For wherever you go, I will go; wherever ine that love would be present from the beginning. you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my Love, and an ounce of rebellion and risk. Today’s people, and your God my God. Ruth would be willing to Where you die, I will die, and leave her family and home- there I will be buried. Thus and Ruth’s journey land and set off on an un- more may the Lord do to me, if charted journey alongside anything but death parts me represents an ethnic her beloved. Likely, such a from you.” bold has already re- person of her upbring- Ruth swears fealty to alternative to religious i& Naomi, her land, her people, conversion: first ioin ing, seeking alternatives to and finally, to her God. The or- J the familiar, der suggests a path often fol- the people, then accept If Ruth’s journey begins in lowed in forsaking family, the faith. love, it deepens with knowl- country, nation, and faith. Be- edge. To become attached to ginning with intimacy and a homeland and a people re- commitment to an individual, quires learning their lan- the journey gradually broadens. Unlike religious con- guage, history, culture, and traditions. Today’s Ruth version, there is no search for a new God. might study Hebrew and Judaism as part of her For centuries, the Book of Ruth’s tradition of people’s heritage. She might learn how to read the welcoming a poor outsider coexisted with rabbinic news as a Jew, seeing the world afresh. She might interpretationsof conversion that set considerable bar- come to appreciate the Sabbath as a day for rest, riers for a potential convert. Ruth’s journey represents contemplation, and family. She might seek out other an ethnic alternative to religious conversion: first join Jews, joining organizations that shared her beliefs the people, then accept the faith. It resonates with and welcomed her. American attitudes toward frontiers as fluid, liminal Gradually, as her perceptions, experiences, lan- space that invites exploration, as opposed to European guage, and culture changed, she might come to borders that prevent movement. wrestle with the God of Israel. Undoubtedly, those Modernity disrupted this Jewish bond linking festivals that celebrate a people’s traditions, such peoplehood and faith. Zionism successfully argued as Hanukkah and Pesach, would appeal to her that nationhood did not require religious commit- more than holidays that focus on God’s power ment. A Sabbath-desecrating, pork-eating Jew re- and glory, such as Shavuot and Yom Kippur. As mained part of the Jewish nation. Only adherence to for critical events in the life cycle - birth, barbat false gods (be they Karl Marx or Jesus Christ) severed mitzvah, and marriage - today’s Ruth would see a Jew from his or her people. Although the Zionist them as part of her culture. She would want to par- distinction lacked logic, it sustained a connection be- ticipate fully in each. tween peoplehood and faith. Should Jewswelcome today’s Ruth? I think they

Sh’rma October 1999 @ http://www.shma.com should. Barring her from religious activities in syna- should work to reconnect peoplehood and faith. gogues mates a hierarchy that elevates rabbinic atti- tudes toward boundaries over folk traditions. We need Deborah Dash Moore is Professor of Religion at Vassar to recognize how Jews as a transnational people comb- College and Co-Editor of the award winning book, Jew- tently violated borders established by gentiles. Rather ish Women in America: An Historical Encyclope- than imitating gentile practices segregating Jews, we dia. She is a Contributing Editor of Sh’ma.

Of Borders and Boundaries Nina Beth Cardin

rom nation-states to dinner plates, from liver matter for the rabbis to determine, not for the land cells to water wells, boundaries are essential. to confer. But, with Statehood, that has changed. FBoundaries outline who we are. They give us a Today, for the first time in two thousand years, sense of identity, defining where we start and where we have two ways to determine identity: land and we stop so that we do not end up spilling all over the law. Israeli and Jew. Jew as determined by Israel. place, or bumping into the furniture, or oozing into Jew as determined by law, as determined by the someone, or something, else. They offer us walls of various religious movements. The Law of Return security, even if sometimes more fanciful than true. grants immediate citizenship to anyone who has a They are our refuge, the frame of our physical integriq, Jewish grandparent (a legacy of Hitler), even if that our barriers against intruders, our assertion of privacy. person could not get an in the most liberal of And yet, no entity can live in isolation. So bound- synagogues. aries must have places that open, allowing the out- In the 21st Century, we will be called upon to side in and the inside out. Organisms need to eat, imagine new ways of defining our boundaries. But breathe, share, give, and receive. Without openings, we need not grope blindly in this venture, for we organisms die. Even more, without openings, they are are not the first to encounter such a challenge. We isolated, disconnected, and hence, meaningless. canbegin by turning to the various terms and ways So, while boundaries define one’s integrity, it is of belonging that we find in the Bible. We can study the openings that provide access to the meaning of the ways that early post-biblical Jews struggled to life. The question for Judaism, then, as for all other understand and create the boundaries of Judaism. organisms, physical or social, is not so much about In his new book, The Beginnings of Jewishness:Bound- boundaries, but rather about openings. aries, Varieties and Uncertainties, Shaye Cohen dis- For the Jewish people, the 20th Century has been cusses the three meanings of the term Yehudi around the time of renegotiating these openings. We can name the start of the ComonEra: ethnic (those who live some of the factors that have made it so:the decline of hdxdfrom Judea); religious/cultural; and po- social barriers that kept us in here; the rise of inter- litical. marriage that increasingly ties us to the community Indeed, we are already experiencing a simi- out there; Hitler’s non-halakhic definition of who is a lar complexity today, where different situations Jew; and the growing awareness on the part of world call for different definitions of ”Jew.” Take, for Jewry that even within Judaism, there are all kinds of example, a patrilineal Jew, one who was given a Jews. Jewish education, who celebrated her bat rnifz- And today, there is one very large, blessed addition vah in a Reform synagogue and who is now very to the list urging us to renegotiate our boundaries: the active in philanthropic Jewish life. While a State of Israel. Conservative rabbi would not count her in a For nearly 2000 years, the Jewish people were minyan or perform her wedding, she would landless. We had no country to define our borders. accept her as a legitimate president of her Our boundaries were written in our laws, rather than community’s Federation. our land. Jewish identity; Jewish belonging, was a What can guide us and reassure us as we

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r outliig your interBts.

Sh’ma * October 1999 @ htp:/ /wwu.shma.com Converts are a crucial component of the Jewish people. How- As a newly intermarried couple in 1976, my husband and I were ever, while our own community is hemorrhagingfrom low birthrate made to feel profoundly unwelcome in his family8 Reform synagogue. and out-of-control assimilation, is it not absurd to call on non- The hostile reaction we encountered did nothing to draw us into Juda- churched Christians and others to join us? Shall we announce: ism. Nine years later, little had changed, and it was a challenge to find ”Unchurched ladies and gentlemen, our ship is sinking, welcome someone to officiate at our son5 bni Not until we moved to a truly welcom aboard! Pay no attention to thefact that our young people are aban- ing community did we find the Jewish home we had been seeking. doning their Judaism by the myriad. Come gentiles, see the beauty My conversion, following nine years of increasingly deep involve- of our system, embrace our , and behold the revolutionay ideas ment in our community, was a wonderful means of celebrating the path of monotheistic humanism in our tradition. Don‘t be afraid that the our family had chosen. Having experienced the consequences of both ship is leaking. Welcome aboard!” the Ezra and Ruth strains as they play out in communal life, I place myself, The true tragedy is that we don‘t as does Rabbi Cowan, firmly in the realize that our brothers and sisters, our camp of Ruth. While it is true that not sons and daughters are inches away every intermarried couple will bring fiom corning back, through joyous Jew- their family to Judaism, the chilly cli- ish experiences. Our resources are lim- mate many intermarried families find ited, and Jewish tradition teaches in institutionalJudaism will discourage aniyay ircha kodem, that when dis- Rabbi Eleazar said: ”The Holy One only dispersed the Jews those who might otherwise find a pensing charity, the poor of our own cit- among the nations so that converts would join them.” home in the synagogue. ies, of our ownfamilies must be ourfirst Pesachim 87b For Jews now the issues of conver- priority. sion and intermamage are inseparably Given the impact of low fertility linked: Surely welcoming converts is Threaded throughout Jewish history are two opinions, known and high intermarriage,men with a zero as the Ruth strain and the Ezra strain, about whether converts better for us than driving intermarried dropout rate, more than one-third of our Jews and their partners awq. good far the Jewish community or not. Are they spiritually higher numbers will disappear within the next are than the born Jew, or are they as a scab upon our skin? Different texts 25 years! In just two generations, two are cited as proof of both opinions. Clearly Rabbi Eleazar is in the Dr. Nancy Micklewrighht brought up as an Epkopalian, has a Ph. D. in the out of evey three Jews will have van- Ruth strain. This text is cited by those, like me, who believe in the history of Islamic Art andkchitecture. ished. Don‘t be hysterical, Buchwald, value of outreach to the intermarried, and to the richness that con- Together withher husbnd Stephen only six of your ten children will be verts bring to the life of our community. I particularly love this text, Berec and sons, Josh and Caleb, she missing. Have we lost our minds? How however, for Rabbi Eleazar is speaking at a higher level than that of dare we debate over whether it’s 42% or communal social policy. Bringing people who were not born Jewish ira member of CongregationEmnu- El in Mctoua, B. C. 52% intermarriage. Is 5% OK? Is 1% into the Jewish world is a way of strengthening the sound of God’s acceptable? These are our children. I voice in our midst. It is a way of kindling sparks into a brighter light There is no question that, as say that as long as there is a single Jew- of truth and wisdom. It is a path of tikkun ohm. Genetic Jews, living Jews, we are invigorated,perhaps ish child or adult who needs to be in one country, cannot do the job alone. We need new energies, new inspired, by Jews-by-Choice. reached, it is immoral, I say immoral to passions, new insights. We must reach out. And the way to do that is Their questions and perspectives expend Jewish resources tying to con- not to hand out leaflets at subway stops or on doors. It is to knock shed new light on a way of life vince a gentile to put on a yarmulka. create compelling Jewish communities - with marketing savvy -that that we can easily take for do everything they can to reach out, to welcome in, and to deepen granted. Rabbi Cowan and oth- Rabbi Ephraim Z. Buchwald is everyone’s level of learning, prayer, and loving-kindness. Founder and Director of the Na- ers have taught us invaluable tional Jewish Outreach Program. Rabbi Rachel Cowan serves as Director of the Jewish Life Program of lessons about the richness that the Nathan Cummings Foundation. With her late husband, Paul Jews-by-Choice bring to our This is a striking text. It certainly supports communities. Cowan, she co-authored Mixed Blessings: Untangling the Knots the general idea of welcoming converts, but, as The value of Jews living in an Interfaith Marriage. Rabbi Cowan so perceptively notes, the text goes among the nations works in the beyond that. The core idea of this paszeis that other direction as well. As Jews, sohorrible an event as divine exile from the sacred homeland had a purpose. That we have a great deal to contribute to the larger world as weias to purpose had to have been considered so valuable by God that it justified removal those who join us by becoming Jewish. Jews-by-Choicefrequently from Eretz Yisruel. That incredibly valuable purpose was to gather converts. find within Judaism treasures that are in short supply in the world Rabbi Eleazar (and Rabbi Johanan, later, in the same passage) do not simply - a strong sense of communi^, a pattern of life colored by seasonal say it is acceptable to welcome converts. Rather, the essence of the text is that that rhythms, and a tradition steeped in thousands of years of historical has been the Jewish people’s divine task in exile. This call, one that hs echoed comection. through the centuries, is a task that we as a people have not fulfilled. WeIcoming Rabbis Eleazar and Cowan are correct that Jews-bychoice are converts is a profoundly Jewish idea grounded, as we can see, in sacred texts. good for us, but we are also good for them. Lawrence J. Epstein is the author of Conversion to Judaism: A Guidebook (Jason Alisa Rubin Kurshan serves as the Executive Director of the Jewish Armson Ind. Continuity Commission of UJA-Federation of New York.

WSh’rna is the Hebrew word for ”let us hear.”

Sh’ma October 1999 @ http:! /www.shma.com n\embers,aSis&O~ joining certain movements or clubs. €hce~cown is Y cunvincs8 that reasons for J Is someone like the joiningmpuredthat&emo- owed to be an tivation is straip;htdorward, it agnostic Jew while a convert to ceremony. If he new member later chooses to marry within a Reform context, the Reform movement would require a Re- form cmversioa; similarly the Conservative and Orthodox movements. The new Jew We= Judaism odg a retigion, no one wodd qua- wodd then decide whether to undergo that procedure. tian the rabbinic monopoly, and the argument wodd From the standpoint of -the Jewish community, mund recognizing the various Jew- ever, the individual woufd be considered a Jew wcver, since Judaism is also "some- on self definition. ;thing mure/ there is no reason for rabbis to only kad As the secular crystallizes and there are people to Wi "sornethg more,' via a religious fascinating signs th crystallization is currently occurring secular Judaism will of Judaism alongside the curren streams. This stream, which inc tium their Jewishsless.Why is someone like me al- numbers, could develop its QWII secular conversion lowed to be an agnostic Jew while a Juda- procedure. In addi e- ism is not? Why must a non-Jewish pus- scribed earlier, there could be a secular conve at tic go to a rabbi r to become a Jewish atheist or would constitute acceptance into secular Judaism, both apmtic? in the Diaspora and in Israel. h Israel, fiere are now hundreds of thousands of If this approach is adopted, the exclusive concept of people, mostly family members of conversion would be exchanged for an inclusive one, grants, from the former Union, who are not one that wodd open doors that are currently closed. I in&d to undergo a religious conversion but still live do not believe that it is possible to affect the shrinking their lives i~5Jews. "fhis scenario is most puigmmtly SiZR of the Jewish people brought to OUT attention when a soldier, wbis dss a Sh’ma 0 ottaber 1% @ http: / /www.shma.com lished empirical findings to this effect Dear Editor! as part of the JTS Conservative Juda- As an intermarried president of a large ism study. Rather than dismiss the find- Reform congregation, I would like to ings, Tobin might have critiqued that respond to your issue on synagogue We have received several bundles of research. In a similar vein, the histori- transformation. If we want to trans- early issues of Sh'ma in response to our cal examples of previous calls for Jew- form synagogues to make them open request for back issues. Rereading some ish conversionary activities would have and inclusive, wen@ to pay attention of these back issues is a study in the been more compelling if they included totheintermarmd,non-Jewishparents development of American Jewish con- a discussion of parallel historical con- whowehopewillraiseJewishchildnm. sciousness, and a perusal of the histori- texts. Finally, I would have enjoyed Conversion is not necessary for that to cal map our thinking has charted. We reading more about the research that happen, but it is essential that they feel extend our appreciation to Marsha Tobin did with converts to better grasp included. Many non-Jewish spouses Marks, Marci Brumberg, Jay M. his understanding of the process of feel comfortable with Judaism as their Siegelaub, Cynthia Ehrenkrantz, and becoming Jewish. The book does ref- religion, but do not identtfy as Jewsbe Hany Cronson, who have recently sent erence many conversion Internet sites, cauaeitisIEattheirethnicityrandthusfeel us past issues of Sh'ma. most of which were new to me. excluded. Canwetransformthewaywe It may be that I am too specialized think of b'nai Ykd,the Jewish pele, We are especially grateful to Rabbi an audience for this book, but I sus- into the bmder ko2 adat b'nai Yisrcdl the Eugene Borowitz, who has gener- pect that other Sh'ma readers may entire~~~~ni~oftheJ&peopbe- ously donated his private, bound share some of my frustrations. On the a communify made up of both Jewsand archival copies of Sh'ma. Dr. other hand, it presents the single most the mjourmm ammg us? Feeling wel- BorowitzL untiring support and en- accessible case for conversion, and I ~mt€)thesynagogueammunityon couragcment continues to inspire am planning to assign at least two thatbasiswouldrenforceL)re@urned ourwork. chapters next year to my students. efforts to raise Je"&*. EdCase,Newton,MA. Bruce A. Phillips is Professor of Sociol- ogy and Jewish Communat Service at To the Editor, Hebrew Union Collqe-Jewish Institute At services for the High Holidays, I thought back to your Sh'ma issue on synagogues of Religion, Los Angeles. His most re- and would have liked meaddition. Can't Jews come together in community, to cent research is Re-Examining Inter- worship together, without having fundraising appeals mar the experience? I am marriage, published by the Wilstein sure other means can be found to raise necessary funds without interfering with the Institute, and "Children of Intermar- deeper meaning of the High Holidays. riage: How "Jewish"? in Peter Medding Sincerely (ed), Studies in Contemporary Jewry. Ronnie Friedland