HSEMESTER ONE,oni 2016 • WEEK 13 Soit FIRST PRINTED 1929

Satanic The Golden Key: New laws Protest crossword How universities enable the threaten chants, experience campus secret society you academics in tech scored have never heard of

PUZZLES, PAGE 18 FEATURE, PAGE 9 TECH, PAGE 14 COMPOSITIONS, PAGE 16 2 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 3 COMIC EDITOR-IN-CHIEF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT Natalie Buckett OF COUNTRY EDITORS We acknowledge the traditional and centre the experiences of Contents custodians of this land, the Gadi- Indigenous people, and to be Andrew Bell, Max Hall, Tom gal people of the Eora Nation. reflective when we fail to. 3 / COMIC 15 / CULTURE Joyner, Sam Langford, Alexan- The University of Sydney – where We recognise our duty to be dros Tsathas, Subeta Vimalara- we write, publish and distribute a counterpoint to the racism 4 / NEWS 18 / PUZZLES jah, Mary Ward, Victoria Zerbst, Honi Soit – is on the sovereign that plagues the mainstream Naaman Zhou. land of these people. media, and to adequately repre- 7 / ANALYSIS 21 / PROFILE As students and journalists, sent the perspectives of Indige- CONTRIBUTORS we recognise our complicity nous students at our University. 8 / OPINION 22 / CASEWORKERS in the ongoing colonisation of We also wholeheartedly thank Jayce Carrano, Adam Chalm- Indigenous land. In recognition our Indigenous reporters for 9 / FEATURE 23 / SRC REPORT ers, Aaron Chen, Melissa Chen, of our privilege, we vow to not the continuing contribution of Samuel Chu, Swetha Das, Oliv- only include, but to prioritise their labour to our learning. 12 / PERSPECTIVE 24 / SUPRA ia Evershed, Eden Faithfull, Josephine Gibson, Erin Jordan, 14 / TECH 26 / COMEDY Kevin Lee, Oliver Moore, Tes- sa Pang, Ellie Rogers, Siobhan EDITORIAL Ryan, Alison Xiao. 9 / FEATURE Natalie Buckett ARTISTS By the time Honi Soit returns to Take a look through our lat- Tom Joyner investigates the inscrutable Golden Key. Ann Ding, Matthew Fisher, stands in Semester Two we will est edition, where this mixture Frankie Hossack, Brigitte Sama- have a new federal government. of hope and hopelessness reso- ha. Past editions that also direct- nates more loudly than ever. In ly preceded an election read News, read about a Vice Chan- Disclaimer: Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative PROOFREADER heavy with hopelessness. cellor ignorant to the needs Council, University of Sydney, Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Similarly, this semester of of students, then turn over to Road, University of Sydney NSW 2006. The SRC’s operation costs, Caelin Kramer Honi Soit rings loudly with the page 16 where the chants of our space and administrative support are financed by the University voices of students that have been student activists are written as of Sydney. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s let down by the institutions that music. directors of student publications: Tahlia Chloe, Justine Landis- claim to represent them. This People accuse this newspa- Hanley, David Hogan, Michelle Picone, Siobhan Ryan, and Michael semester, students have written per of not having much value. Sun. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to about the systemic failure of the Yet if this paper and these sto- be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifically stated. University to respond to sexual ries can do something before The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of harassment and assault across July 2, it is to demonstrate the the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor campus. They have covered gross impact conservative gov- does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. peaceful protests disrupted by ernments have on young peo- riot police, and have reported ple, and that we demand more. on a budget where education I don’t like to overempha- Please direct all advertising inquiries to was once again just a peripheral sise what Honi is or what Honi [email protected] DEDICATION buzzword. does. It is just one voice in an Yet, between these moments overcrowded debate about the For Gung, whose writing inspires of frustration, truimph feels future of this country. But we everyone that reads it. all the more special. Students shouldn’t sell ourselves short across political factions cele- either. In a University where brated as 5 women were elect- privilege is etched into the WELL WISHES ed to Union Board for the first sandstone, the students who time in history, and when an create for Honi attempt to Oh hey guys just wanted to wish SRC lawyer and a refugee took inspire change. In a world that you a happy break. Yep cool cya the government to the High feels increasingly hopeless, it is then. Court and won. young people who give us hope.

someone's undue yapping, you 'embrace' people, to 'count on' Soapbox (what a joke that is) should tell them with a smile someone else and to 'shimmy' and the USU VP, Liv Ronan, to keep quiet, too. No one gets with another person entirely, chucked her such a softball hurt, and everyone wins. which I find to be pretty boring question about 'how she will Whatever the modern actions, especially shimmying, improve parties', where oth- library is meant to be - kitchen, which is a lame dance move. er candidates were faced with Letters lounge room, meeting place - it But because I felt obligated to scandals or accusations. must always remain a sanctuary vote I did put in some research It turns out that Liv Ronan spots provided for us to read for quietude. To ensure this, the into some of the people running has publicly endorsed Grace, Hey everyone, and think. And, of course, we campus could do with a good to try and find out a bit about along with Michael Rees and have books galore. But what dose of noise intolerance. them and I saw that most of Tiffany Alexander, two other shut up! about 'sweet serenity'? Without them were rather useless. Many USU board directors. it the intellectual quest is hin- Jonathan Adams of the things that I saw them Isn't that bias in the elec- Dear Honi, dered. MTeach (Sec.) I promise this year I've already tions process then? I remember Fisher library is the main seen promised year after year. something like this happened There sits on my desk at home a study space on campus. People Grace Franki and Vanessa with the USyd Senate two years card with a sketch of an elegant come here routinely to make Very angry Song were especially boring, ago and the USU board direc- lady. She reads a book from a use of its services, not least the and 'better parties' and 'cheap- tors then lost the plot. Art: Matthew Fisher balcony which overlooks the silence that a library is sup- voter person er noms' (Grace's words, not Isn't the 'free-for-all' policy still harbour of a pre-modern posed to provide and protect. mine) were their boring prom- allowing USU board directors European city. A quote from However, I find that 'quiet gets mad ises. I love a good party, and I to aid candidates just promot- the poet Samuel Longfellow is zones' in Fisher are not always love good food (like all of us) ing 'jobs for the boys'? Lonely over the break? Send us a letter. But we won't read it until after the break. printed below the picture, 'The true to their name. Too often, Dear Honi, but I don't think that the can- Why was that policy allowed? love of learning, the seques- people are talking. didates care too much about Guess who presided over Sorry about that. tered nooks, / and all the sweet If I sound like an old troll, I must admit that like most improving this, and I don't allowing that policy? Michael serenity of books.' it's because I am. If people are USyd students, I didn't give two think that they will be able to at Rees. No wonder everyone But anyway, pour your heart into an email to [email protected]. Our university has all that talking too loudly in a quiet hoots about the election that all, especially now that both of doesn't give a shit about the Longfellow celebrates. Students zone, and disturbing the silence just passed, but as some of my them have been elected. USU. Maximum 500 words. come here because they love of students, I tell them politely friends did, I was bombard- As I've liked the USU FB Regards, learning. There are plenty of to be quiet. If you're bugged by ed with messages telling me to page, I also saw a bit of the Anonymous 4 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 5 NEWS NEWS

SATELLITE CAMPUSES CAMPUS SAFETY STUDENT POLITICS Panel urges SCA to have Births, Deaths & Marriages Liberal Club’s “Hahahaha omg everyone is so rude” - us, 2016 USU EXEC LOCKED IN denied any decision, but has significant experi- University to do ence in reporting on the senate which would make Your newly elected USU Board is set to begin him a popular candidate across the left on campus. answer on its term this week. On Wednesday, the board Second up is ex-SRC Vice-President Daniel more to deal with entire membership will vote in a new executive to govern for the Ergas. Ergas told Honi “I'm certainly thinking following year. about it, but it depends on who else is interest- While each position is elected individually, ed in nominating...as long as it is someone from sexual harrassment a ‘ticket’ (or alliance) has formed between sev- the broad Left I'm content.” move by July Ergas indicated he would likely not contest Siobhan Ryan viewing an Australian student dissolved by USU eral directors which will all but guarantee them the balance of power. the spot if Polden ran. His exact words were “Oh who was sexually assaulted This ticket will have Michael Rees (Inde- christ, absolutely. He'd smash it.” Last Thursday, the University while on exchange in France, Andrew Bell & Mary Ward least three meetings to vote. lowing a falling out between the Mary Ward adding that the SCA’s current pendent) as President, Atia Rahim (Student Current USU Treasurer Ed McMahon is of Sydney Wom*n’s Collective and described the experience The disagreement has essen- Liberal Party’s centre-right fac- existence in Rozelle’s Callan Unity) as Vice-President, Tiffany Alexander similarly positioning himself for the Postgradu- hosted a screening of US doc- of navigating the medical and The Sydney University Liberal tially resulted in two separate tion (which traditionally con- The Sydney College of the Arts Park was “not sustainable”. (Labor) as Treasurer and Shannen Potter (SLS) ate spot. He indicated he may be taking a break umentary The Hunting Ground criminal justice systems of Club’s (SULC) membership list groups of SULC members being trols SULC, and of which Dawes (SCA) will know whether they The SCA’s future has been as Secretary. Honi understands the group have from uni, but if enrolled for Semester 2, would and a panel discussion about another country in another lan- has been dissolved and its AGM created: those who support is a member) and Alex Dore, are joining the Arts faculty or unknown since a Sydney Morn- been pitching themselves to the first year direc- run “unless someone else with comprehensive sexual assault and harassment guage as “horrific”. postponed by the University of Dawes (and will be supporting who counts Crawford among becoming part of a mega-art ing Herald article published in tors formally, on a platform of stability and left wing politics and dedication to the unpaid on university campuses. Spence noted the Universi- Sydney Union (USU) following failed USU candidate Dom Bon- his supporters, after Dore was school by July, Provost Stephen November revealed the Uni- unity within the board. role is keen”. As Honi reported on May ty is in the process of building sustained in-fighting between dar for the club’s presidency) and elected as NSW Young Liberal Garton said at a town hall-style versity would be moving away This leaves Marco Avena (Grassroots) and Honi expects more conservative candidates 28*, the Vice-Chancellor Dr more accommodation for inter- club factions led by the Presi- those who wish to see Crawford President at the organisation’s meeting last week. from its Rozelle campus. Jack Whitney (NLS) out of the executive. It’s to come out of the woodwork soon, following in Michael Spence admitted, dur- national students, yet implied dent Will Dawes and Secretary jump from Secretary to Presi- executive elections in February. Professor Garton addressed SCA teachers voiced their highly unlikely they have the numbers to the footsteps of last-elected fellows Dalton Fog- ing this panel, that he was not some limit to the University’s Josh Crawford. dent at the eventual AGM. After leaving the centre-right teachers, students and alumni, upset at the decision being mount a challenge, so expect the election to go arty and Simon Hill. aware of how sexual assault and ambit of control. The Annual General Meet- The two groups have been with Dore, Honi understands stating that the University is cur- delayed for so long (claiming largely uncontested. Keen readers will know the Postgrad spot has harassment complaints are cur- “Universities are in a par- ing (AGM) of the society was recorded on separate and con- Crawford has not been accept- rently in negotiations to merge they had been promised a deci- a current vacancy. Nominations for the four- rently made. ticularly special place” to lead, scheduled for next Wednesday, flicting mailing lists of “SULC ed by any faction, but Honi has the school with the UNSW Art sion in April at a previous meet- TORIES CALL ME A WHIG, month interim gig have closed, and the senate Although The Huntingespecially as they are creating but has been delayed until after members” held by Dawes and been told by centre-right sourc- Design (formerly CoFA) and ing), as it was disrupting curric- AND WHIGS A TORY will choose the replacement on July 4. Ground’s focus is on the mis- future community leaders, Wil- ODay next semester, follow- Crawford, with each using their es that they suspect he and Dore the National Art School in Dar- ulum development and student handling of complaints at US lis said in response. ing a determination handed own mailing lists to communi- are working with the party’s left linghurst, to create a “Centre for recruitment. Three tickets have formed to contest next ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE colleges, both Spence and fel- When asked why it had tak- down by the USU Board after cate with those who they con- (of which Crawford’s mother, Excellence”. “There is an understandable semester’s Honi Soit election, each with a BUT THIS GUY IS THE WORST low panellist, Wom*n’s Officer en so long for action to be taken an in camera discussion at their sider to be members. Catherine Cusack MLC, is a If these negotiations fail, frustration about a lack of ability unique gripe with this year’s paper (sad face). Anna Hush, agreed there are in light of consistent reporting monthly meeting on Friday. Dawes told Honi he sent out member) to control SULC. SCA will be assumed as part of to plan,” CPSU branch President From the “Honi is too left-wing” camp, Honi Members of the Autonomous Collective Against many parallels to Australian on this issue over the last four Any ACCESS card holder an email to “all [members] that The club did not hold an the Faculty of Arts and Social Grant Wheeler told Honi, saying reporters and St Paul’s College students John Racism’s (ACAR) recent Revue have copped a universities. decades, Spence spoke to the who wishes to join or remain [he has] the contact details of” Ordinary Meeting until Week 8 Sciences at the end of the year. the University was “turning their Patrick Asimakis and Josh Koby Wooller have bizarre text from a theatre owner who objected While there are similarities difficulty in getting colleges to a member of the society will on Friday evening describing due to continual disagreements Garton said they should have back on their staff”. put their bowlers in the ring. Honi knows of to their pre-show Acknowledgement of Country. between US fraternities and cooperate. be required to attend the SULC the situation. between Dawes and Crawford. an answer “by June or July”, but If a mega-art school was cre- two people from the campus media and arts Markus Weber, the owner of King St Theatre Australian residential colleges, “The colleges are totally ODay stall in person to secure “The Club’s activities will USU President and member of he did not see a future for the ated, Professor Garton conced- community who turned down offers to join, in Newtown, called the cast “not fit to be part of the underlying factor that caus- legally independent of the Uni- their membership. continue as usual and a new Labor Right faction, Student SCA as a separate college on the ed its operation was unlikely to one claiming the ticket was heading in a “very a humanitarian, civilized society”. es sexual assault and harass- versity, and the University actu- A USU casual employee AGM date will be set for early Unity, Alisha Aitken-Radburn Rozelle campus. begin by Semester One, 2017 conservative direction”. Asimakis confirmed “Do not read a scripted ‘message’ before the ment “isn’t fraternities, [and] ally has no jurisdiction over the – accompanied by a security next semester,” the email read. was brought in to assist the “You have been in signifi- due to the need to synthesise the ticket’s existence but denied it would be performance,” said the Austrian-born Weber. isn’t [US] sporting culture, it’s colleges,” aside from disaffili- guard – will administer SULC’s “The University of Sydney meeting’s administration. cant decline for a long period curriculums and seek out a via- running on a conservative platform. “Not what you go conform with cause it is polit- sexism”, Hush said. ating from them so they lose ODay stall and be in charge of Union is doing its best to find Honi has been told the split of time,” Garton told attendees, ble location. At least three college residents are currently ical correct [sic]”. Much of the discussion their land, which would involve taking registrations. According a solution which addresses the resulted in Crawford and Dawes on the incomplete ticket, suggesting it could Lucinda Vitek allegedly had similarly “awful” looked at the danger of vic- lengthy court proceedings. to the ruling, seen by Honi, the concerns myself and many oth- holding separate members’ be a resurrection of the “college tickets” of the interactions with Weber when directing at the tim-blaming attitudes, which “I think that in any of these club will be required to fund the er Club executive and members drinks at the start of semester. SCHAPELLE CORBY late 2000s, spurred this time by growing colle- theatre in 2013. She said Weber made racial creates a culture in which sur- discussions we need to organ- expense of the casual worker have as to the integrity of the Some SULC members have gial discontent with reportage of institutional jokes in front of Asian members of production vivors are less likely to come ise the asymmetry of power and the security guard. membership list.” suggested that Crawford was sexism. However, when we asked Asimakis to crew, and upon learning she spoke German, forward. between the institution and stu- The purpose of the AGM However, there seems to attempting to stack the AGM confirm who was on the ticket, he took a leaf jokingly remarked “Zieg Heil”. Panellist Nina Funnell, who dents,” and ensure that there are was to elect the executive for be disagreement amongst the with his new membership sys- USU boogie out of Wesley Master Lisa Sutherland’s book “ACAR aren’t the first people to have this has experience working in this a number of students in meet- the following year, which would SULC executive as to what the tem, stating that non-students and did not release the names. happen, but they are probably the first to speak area, outlined the three best ings so that a single student isn’t largely determine the balance wiping of their membership and even Liberal Party staffers From the “Honi is too right-wing” camp, out about it.” responses to someone disclos- “isolated and spoken on top of”, of power between competing will actually allow the club to have been purchasing ACCESS board Honi has heard Wom*n’s Officer Anna Hush is ing such an incident: “I’m so Funnell added. groups within the club for the do until a new AGM is held. cards and attending meetings, forming a ticket with an activist bent. A mix GRAVE CONSEQUENCES sorry that this has happened to The University recently following year. “My understanding from presumably with the intent of Alexandros Tsathas BACK IN THE BLACK of SRC collective office bearers and Grassroots you, what has happened to you enlisted former sex discrimi- A conflict arose between other executive members who voting for Crawford as Presi- members are rumoured to have signed on. Online exchanges between student politicians is wrong and I’m here for you.” nation commissioner Elizabeth Dawes and Crawford following have spoke with C&S is that the dent at the AGM. Choice cuts from last week’s The USU made a $1.8 million Hush refused to comment, saying she was “not are infamously terrible, but Honi was taken As the discussion moved Broderick to help take action OWeek regarding the proper process will be that the club is While Dawes did not com- USU Board meeting: loss in the 2013-14 financial interested in contributing to the gossip around aback by National Union of Students’ (NUS) on to international students, on this issue. method of counting the club’s going to be temporarily sus- ment on whether he suspected year, due to large capital out- tickets at this point”. Welfare Officer Robby Magyar’s joke that SRC Executive Director of Rape and members ahead of the AGM. pended until it holds its AGM stacking had occurred dur- KEEPIN’ THE FAITH lays. The USU’s financial perfor- Finally, we can confirm a third ticket is Education Officer Liam Carrigan would be Domestic Violence Australia, *For more information see While Dawes wanted the next semester,” a member of the ing the year, he said he was mance in the 2014-15 financial being led by Honi reporters Siobhan Ryan, “thrown in an unmarked grave”. Karen Willis, identified them as 'Vice-Chancellor unaware of club’s OWeek list of sign-ups to executive told Honi, seemingly “incredibly concerned” about The Board formally agreed year, to be publicly announced Michael Sun and Justine Landis-Hanley. Ryan When Carrigan sledged him in a Facebook particularly vulnerable and less process for reporting sexual be used, Crawford was advocat- contradicting the information stacking behaviour likely to to establish a new “reli- at this week’s AGM, represents and Sun are members of Grassroots, while group called “NUS National Banter Action likely to report incidents. harassment complaint' by ing for a new approach, which Dawes sent out to members. occur at the ODay stall, adding gious” category for clubs and movement “in the right direc- Landis-Hanley is the SRC Residential Colleges Group”, Magyar responded: “I look forward to Funnell spoke about inter- Siobhan Ryan at honisoit.com would allow for ACCESS card SULC has been plagued with that he condemns such behav- societies, which permits tion”. Hermann’s is doing well Officer. MECO/Law student Alexander Tighe proving you wrong when I have a state funeral holders who had attended at dysfunction this semester, fol- iour “unequivocally”. faith-based declarations. for the USU. Manning Bar and is also on board. and you’re thrown in an unmarked grave.” The executive stressed to Engo Grill aren’t. When asked for an update, they said: “We’re “I initially thought the comment was self dep- Honi the final wording of the looking into the possibility of Waleed Aly recating and humorous, but realised upon post- amendment was made only DREAD-CON enrolling in a B Vet Science so he’d be eligible.” ing that it was a step too far,” Magyar told Honi. after extensive consultation. We do not yet know if they hate us, but are “I immediately deleted the comment, and later The SRC and SUPRA will play sure they will develop a reason to over the break. apologised to the individual in private messages.” INVESTMENT ETHICS joint-hosts to the National “I have since left the group...nothing good Union of Student’s (NUS) Edu- UPPER HOUSE OF CARDS can come from a Facebook group such as ‘NUS Honorary Treasurer Ed McMa- cational Conference (effective National Banter Action Group’ and it would prob- hon presented a report by mid-year meeting) when it rolls More elections! Next semester, two students (one ably be for the best if such a space did not exist.” consultancy firm Mercer,into town in July. President Ali- Undergraduate, one Postgrad) will be elected to At the time of writing, current NUS Presi- and the USU has now all but sha Aitken-Radburn wasn’t too the USyd senate. With a two year term on the dent Sinead Colee and General Secretary Cam adopted an ethical investment keen on the USU pulling out Uni's peak governing body, they’re potentially the Petrie were listed as members. strategy, largely in a bid to cod- all the stops for their guests – two most powerful students on campus. Honi asked Colee if disciplinary action was ify an opposition to investing in rooms were trashed last time, First rumoured contender is ex-Honi edi- planned and if she considered the group appropri- fossil fuel companies. and apparently NUS is gunning tor Alexi Polden. Polden has not confirmed or ate for National Officebearers, but she did not reply. for meal vouchers for delegates. 6 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 7 NEWS ANALYSIS

INFORMATION SECURITY eLearning data disclosure Why all USyd library fines are unenforceable potentially affects students’ marks Andrew Bell has so much invested in this article There are currently many thousands of dollars How much you have to pay is calculated by fee. Therefore, if you’re a second late with a Andrew Bell & Tessa Pang the “grade centre” can see past tre,” she said. taking part in a task rather than is] used to support student learn- owed to University libraries from students. estimating the financial loss that would like- two-hour book from Fisher, you get hit with the academic performance, infor- The grade centre contains all logging on to a system.” ing,” Pattison said. When these fines are above a certain thresh- ly flow from the breach of contract. While this entirety of the $10 fee. The eLearning program used mation which may influence marks that pass through Black- While that is ideally the case, Similarly, unit coordinators old, students can be prevented from graduating, makes sense, the law imposes a limit when esti- The library might have a stronger argument by almost all undergraduate expectations about students’ board or assignments that are the University could not exclude have access to students’ person- accessing University services or re-enrolling. mating losses. The figure cannot constitute a in England, where the library’s goal to facili- students at the University of current performance. submitted and marked through the possibility that frequency of al details entered on Sydney Stu- Here is why they are all legally unenforceable.1 “penalty” or be “punitive”. tating the circulation of books would work in Sydney allows teaching staff at Professor Philippa Pattison, Turnitin. Since very few sub- logging into Blackboard would dent. This includes their name, Before we get into the details, it’s important to So at what point does compensating for loss their favour. But that hasn’t had much purchase the University to view students’ Deputy Vice Chancellor (Edu- jects are marked anonymously, be taken into account by tutors date of birth, mobile number, note that these fines can be substantial. Thomas clock over into “penalty” territory? The key to in Australia, where financial loss is the most past academic performance cation) told Honi, “Any staff the University cannot exclude in determining class participa- home address, languages spo- Joyner, an upstanding student at this Universi- identifying penalties is that they’re extravagant- important factor. and login information, creating member who is enrolled by the the possibility that markers will tion marks. This would affect a ken at home and whether or not ty, currently owes $720 in outstanding fines. “A ly disproportionate to the financial loss that In fairness, the library doesn’t enforce over- a risk of influencing students’ coordinator as a designer (usu- peruse the data and be guided student who downloads materi- they are the first in their family $720 fine for one first year assignment is abso- would likely flow from the breach of contract. due fines unless the books are recalled. But the current marks. ally the coordinator), instructor by it - especially when deciding als at the start of semester, and to attend university. lutely ludicrous, and prevents me from borrow- Strictly, the library receives no financial loss fact that another student wants to use the books While students may be (usually lecturers) or teach- between mark gradations. therefore doesn’t need to use While the utility of general ing a book ever again. If the aim of the fine was when their books are returned late – certainly will never cause the library financial loss. under the impression that ing assistant (usually tutors or Further, tutors with access eLearning, but is no less dili- information is clear, allowing to inhibit my studies, it has succeded.” he said. nothing comparable to $10/day (or $10/hour for In the end it’s probably not worth it to take previous academic informa- demonstrators) can view the to the grade centre will be able gent than other students. teaching staff to pitch their So here’s why they’re unenforceable. two hour books). the library to court. The law is complex and the tion is not shown to marking grade centre.” to see the last date the student Even non-marking staff mem- classes more accurately, this Basically, a library fine is just a payment for a ANZ was taken to the High Court recent- cost would subsume the fees many times over. staff involved in their current “If the tutor’s role includes logged onto eLearning. bers have access to “de-identified, electronic system raises serious breach of contract. The library agrees to let the ly, and (partially) lost on the basis that their fees But with so many students in debt – maybe it’s enrolment, this isn’t the case. marking, they will have access Pattison told Honi, “A partic- cohort level information on the issues relating to the transpar- student use the book and the student agrees to were punitive. ANZ claimed the fees, such as an worth a class action? Staff members with access to to all or part of the grade cen- ipation mark reflects a student make-up of the class…[which ent use of student data. return it in time. For meatier commercial con- overdraft fee, recouped the cost of administration tracts, corporations may go to court to figure out and enforcement. The library might make a similar how much they’ve lost as a result of a breach of argument, but their costs probably only add up to 1. Probably. I’d write a disclaimer that this isn’t contract. That approach doesn’t really make sense a few cents per day – nothing close to $10 a day. legal advice, but then again if you go to court on the small-scale of a library fine, so the library It’s also important that you can breach the on the basis of an Honi article without any inde- pre-nominates how much you have to pay. contract ‘trivially’ and still get hit with the full pendent advice you really deserve to lose. Honiscopes Help, I’ve discovered my work can

Are these horoscopes or real simple extension excuses? Use one this exam period and find out. Art: Zita Walker legally fire me, what the absolute fuck Oliver Moore really hopes this doesn’t go viral and get them fired On the International Day Against Homopho- bia, Transphobia and Biphobia (IDAHOBIT), the Greens announced a suite of new gender and sexu- Leo Gemini Libra Sagittarius ality-focussed policies. Most notably, this included a commitment to remove the permanent exemptions slowly eating cereal that i didn't my dog which i definitely own the person i usually pay to made a cup of tea. it got cold, to federal anti-discrimination law. Currently, there realise had nuts in it and over and which is definitely real, write my essays says she can't i had to get another one. kettle exists a permanent exemption from the law for reli- a period of time i went into died and in my culture (you get it in til tues, is that okay?? was broken, had to buy another gious groups and organisations, meaning that they anaphalaxis. still going wouldn't know it) death rituals kettle. went to ikea, got lost can legally discriminate against people on the basis for pets take 14 years sorry of their gender, sexuality or age. These exemptions exist in similar forms in most state legislation. I work casually at a religious private school. I’m also queer. As a function of my job, I am required to stimulate the minds of my students, to encourage them to think critically about the world they live in and the structures which gov- ern it. This, of course, in the time of the great mar-

Pisces Aries Virgo H20, Just Add Water riage equality debate, and amongst the whirlwind of voices surrounding the Safe Schools Coali- tion, means speaking about queer issues, many of my computer was hacked by my daddy is really rich so i'm an artist. deadlines restrict i'm actually sleeping beauty which are brought up by the students themselves. The moral rigidity of the workplace is difficult enough to anonymous and they deleted i don't need this university me and suffocate my creative and i'm trapped in this castle Some already identify as non-heterosexual and my essay only degree anyway, his years of tax potential, let me be free (with wifi PHEW) waiting are looking for a supportive adult voice; some are adjust to without having to erase yourself in order to fit into it fraud will keep me comfortable for some prince confused by the issues and want to talk about how they affect them and their friends; and some are simply looking for more information. support of the Safe Schools program on your way to without having to erase yourself in order I would love to talk to my students about these to work. It is particularly hard to hold when you to fit into it. Where any exemptions to anti-dis- issues, because I know how important having a tell your students to watch the news for homework, crimination laws exist, discrimination will supportive and non-judgemental adult figure can only to have them hear members of the far right inevitably take place, be it in the silences of be for teenagers just beginning to figure out their condemn people like you on a publicly funded things unsaid, or in the very real possibility of Capricorn Scorpio Taurus Cancer identity. However, in order to ensure I can keep my broadcaster. the loss of a job or stable income.The permanent job, I have to speak about it in a way which does not For most young people, especially those at uni- exemptions give religious organisations enor- i was too busy negotiating the student paper has been mer- the election is coming up i follow wiccan rituals and align me with the queer community. Imagine hav- versity, who need to work casually and around mous power over not just the hiring and firing of entirely unimportant factional cilessly attacking my home (St Paul's and i'm just so unbelievably there's one on the due date ing an extended conversation with someone about an ever-changing schedule, employment is employees, but over the rules and norms that guide deals as a USyd BNOC and was college) so i needed to make fake Face- depressed about the future of this assessment and if i dogs, without ever revealing the fact that you own precarious at the best of times. The extra burden our society. too #drinkdrankdrunk to get book accounts to troll their website of Australian politics and the don't attend it i'll be eternally a dog. of navigating your way through a complicat- Where discrimination is allowed to continue my essay done world that i just need to crawl damned (that's wiccan right?) This guise is particularly hard to hold when, for ed series of unstated assumptions is jarring, unchecked, it spills over into the attitudes of the up in a ball and cry for a few example, one of your students tells you the school particularly in comparison to the freedom of general population and means that homophobia days (too real) wouldn’t let her set up a club for queer students. It the university environment. The moral rigidi- and transphobia can continue to wage their poison- is particularly hard to hold when you pass a rally in ty of the workplace is difficult enough to adjust ous war on the queer community. 8 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 9 OPINION FEATURE If you can’t take the meat, get out of the kitchen Olivia Evershed spoke to three meat industry professionals “Working in an abattoir made me decide that I’m behaviours – does that influence his opinion of beings and that means we take advantage of them OK with eating meat,” Michael tells me over a using such animals for meat? “Capacity is there,” and there will be a bit of suffering and a bit of purple smoothie at the café. He has none of the he acknowledges, “but that’s not their life. That’s unhappiness but I don’t think it’s a big deal.” Yet traits I would have associated with a professional not what they were bred for.” for different reasons, Michael looks forward to a slaughterer; friendly and at ease, he is wearing a Ian, a butcher and manager at Glenmore Meat slaughter-free future. loose tee and a pirate hat. Company, gives a similar response. ‘They’ve been This reason is VAT meat, otherwise known as I am impressed with his confidence: had I gone bred to be eaten,” he says, “and you can use their coats ‘in vitro meat’, made by culturing single muscle and conducted a survey in the freezer section at for clothing. They’ve been doing that for centuries.” cells to yield thousands of tonnes of meat. Michael Coles and asked customers why they thought it Loel is a chef at an upmarket café in Waterloo. believes that in the future, VAT meat will be read- was OK to eat animals, I dare say many of them As a vegetarian in the meat industry, his opin- ily available to replace farmed meat. He sees it as wouldn’t have been able to answer. ions differ from the others. “It’s always a matter the ideal solution – no unnecessary suffering, but But Michael can justify his attitude. of conflict in my mind” he says, “because whilst also no wastage. He’s not squeamish – and the details that me personally I’m not buying meat to support Michael also believes in a future with “robots perturb others do not faze him: “There’s a lot of that side of the industry, I am then preparing and conscious entities” – are his projections real- blood,” he admits. He comes from a farming back- meat in a way that is promoting people to con- istic? Ian reckons “things aren’t going to change”. ground and has been involved in hand-rearing tinually eat meat.” but such innovations as genetic modification in lambs for slaughter before: the reality of inflicting Is there something wrong with this? “I feel that agriculture prove that change is rife in the food death on living creatures for human consumption we don’t have to produce and consume as much industry. In the meantime, are we justified in eat- is just not something that seems unnatural or cru- meat as we already do,” he says. I ask whether he ing animals? el to him. views livestock in a different way to domestic ani- Rational conscience would dictate that it is our Michael is the first of three people I spoke to mals and he responds with conviction: “No form responsibility to avoid chickens who spend their working in the meat industry. Awareness of ani- of animal is different from the next, whether it be entire lives in filthy sheds with tens of thousands mal welfare and livestock conditions are on the wild or domesticated – they’re still all a species, of other birds; cows kept in the dark and tied up rise, and I wanted to know how such attention is they’re still all alive and they still all feel pain.” to prevent movement so as to keep their flesh ten- influencing the industry. “Animals should definitely be respected. We der. But kept in the dark - much like the veal - you I put to Michael that livestock animals such definitely use and abuse them too much.” may well be perpetuating the cycle without know- as pigs have been known to demonstrate human Michael isn’t so sure. “Animals are lesser ing it. Now there's something to chew on. Cumbo cards Cumberland students should not have to pay $75 for ACCESS services they hardly use, writes Samuel Chu One of the questions asked of a game is played at Cumberland. ence at Cumberland. Cumberland presence for C&S. made on behalf of the Universi- candidate in the recent Honi Soit Unfortunately, neither do Unless there are members of A compromise in the form ty, the USU and CSG, to clarify Over a million dollars in annual turnover, six full- USU Board interviews was: most of Cumberland’s students. the CSG-sponsored Evangelical of a satellite-campus conces- their roles within the university “Students at Cumberland Cam- First-year students, blinded by Christian Union or Exercise and sion should be made available experience to first-years. The time staff, and hundreds of thousands of members pus have to pay $75 for an the bright lights of OWeek, are Sports Science Student Associ- to Cumberland’s students. Its USU’s current ACCESS-ped- ACCESS card, but don't enjoy all-too-often conned into pur- ation (whose dubious exploits price should consider the USU’s dling practices are shady at best, – but few students have ever heard of it. Tom any outlet discounts. Is this fair?” chasing an ACCESS card, una- were documented by Honi last absenteeism from Cumberland, predatory at worst. The candidate’s response, “I ware that Cumberland Student year), Cumbodians have no but still incorporate a fair C&S Clearing up the situation Joyner investigates the inscrutable Golden Key. would do it [still pay the $75]”, Guild (CSG), not the USU, con- option other than to make the cost. It’s disappointing that suc- for naïve high school leavers supposedly spoke to just how trols student life at Cumberland. 20km trek to main campus to cessive waves of Board contend- and offering a satellite campus much they’d gained from their Not a single outlet at Cum- pursue their extra-curricular ers have made promises to this ACCESS concession is a fair involvement in the USU’s Clubs bo is owned by the USU, so no interests. It is unfair that on top effect (including outgoing USU and straightforward course of Art by Max Hall and Sam Langford and Societies (C&S). ACCESS discounts apply. The of this geographical penalty they President Alisha Aitken-Rad- action which the USU should This answer, to stay true to ACCESS card’s other main role, should pay the same amount for burn), but have failed to deliv- embrace. And, of course, it has the interviews’ Hamilton theme, a C&S passport, is also nullified an ACCESS card when it confers er. Listen up new blood! Don’t the added benefit of increasing demonstrated USU Board can- because not one USU-adminis- no day-to-day discounts on them throw away your shot! student engagement with the n cramped offices in the inner Sydney suburb fits for its members. Roughly 200,000 student Golden Key members didates really don’t know how the tered club or society has a pres- and when the USU mandates no A greater effort should also be USU and its outlets. of Ultimo, the Golden Key International Hon- As an Honi Soit investigation has found, Gold- are spread across several dozen universities in our Society Inc.’s headquarters for the Asia-Pa- en Key signs up new paying members through Australia that host campus chapters, usually com- Advertisement Icific feel more like a family tax accountancy or partnership arrangements with universities. At prising of a student-run committee – including a business startup. Its rooms are on the fourth floor least one Group of Eight university provides the a student President who controls the chapter’s of a shared block on Jones Street, and overlook a personal information of thousands of its students funding – and an ‘advisor’ on academic staff. The Chinese supermarket on one side and a self-stor- to Golden Key without students’ knowledge or chapter runs networking events, career nights, STUDENT POLITICIANS HATE THEM. age warehouse on the other. There’s barely enough consent. The university even mails out letters of and workshops. It also engages regularly with its space for seating in the reception area, and a large invitation on its own official letterhead signed by members via email mailouts and Facebook. USE THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK TO MAKE THEM HATE YOU TOO. collapsible banner emblazoned with the company’s a senior university administrator. The ANU chapter is held to be one of the best logo leans haphazardly against the front counter. Honour societies have never held as promi- in the country by the organisation, and has the It’s a far cry from the workspaces of Bank of nent a place in Australian university life as they awards to prove it. Each year, according to its chap- America, Shell or Lenovo – large corporations have in America. Founded in 1897, Phi Kappa ter President and linguistics student, Sarah Hey- BECOME AN HONI SOIT REPORTER with which Golden Key has fostered partnerships Phi is the most famous example of an American wood, it recruits around 60 to 100 new members. over the years – but then again, the Sydney office’s honour society, and describes itself on its web- Students can only join their local chapter if six full-time staff don’t usually expect guests. site as “a community of scholars and profession- they are formally invited, and must pay a flat, For an international organisation with hun- als building an enduring legacy for all genera- one-off $100 fee. Invitations are sent out, typically Honi relies on a small army of student writers to bring you an edition every week. If you’d like to join dreds of thousands of members, surprisingly tions”. Golden Key’s premise isn’t too different: it in the mail or by email, only to those students the few people have ever heard of Golden Key. Pre- recruits high-achieving students across 400 uni- Image credit: society claims are in the top 15 per cent of their the ranks, send an email to [email protected] with the following: name, contact details, degree, senting itself as a philanthropic organisation for versity campuses worldwide with the promise of Graphic cohort. It’s in this way the society maintains its high-achieving students, it blurs the lines with its networking events, conferences and “enhancing uses CC-BY prestige and exclusivity. Students who have joined year, a brief indication of how you would like to contribute to the paper, and a sample of your work. unique business model. Its recruitment practices student opportunities,” in the words of the organ- elements by often speak of adding a line to their resume as a are misleading and it greatly overstates the bene- isation’s Asia-Pacific director, Joshua Ang. ducttapeman0 boon during job interviews. 10 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 11 FEATURE FEATURE

ocuments held by the corporate reg- vices. Chubb said he wasn’t. “I’d be really very surprised ulator ASIC show that former ANU if ANU handed over student information to any Vice-Chancellor and Australian Chief A read through its Wikipedia page reveals g roup.” D Scientist, Ian Chubb, held a senior role little more, except for a watered-down history with the organisation from around 2001, when he of the organisation. But clicking through to the This raises questions of the exact nature of began at the university, up until February 2009. ‘talk’ page – an out-of-view section of a Wikipe- Golden Key’s relationship with other Australian dia article hosting debate between users on the universities. All other universities contacted by However, Professor Chubb said his involve- article itself – unveils much more. “I noticed that Honi Soit, including Western Sydney Universi- ment had been peripheral at best. “I do remem- this page read like an advert for the organization,” ty and Macquarie University within New South ber the very first time that I went to one of their wrote one anonymous user. “I have restored some Wales, all denied financial arrangements with presentation evenings and I think it went on for semblance of ‘journalism’ to it today using previ- Golden Key. hours, I mean literally hours. I remember telling ously submitted information.” them I wasn’t going to go again if I had to sit there But dozens more, including Australian Catho- watching hundreds of people go up and get a cer- “History shows their PR dept can’t keep their lic University, University of Queensland, Flinders tificate,” he told Honi. hands off it,” wrote another. A third user alleged University, Monash University, University of Syd- Golden Key’s own director of operations and ney and La Trobe University have churned out At one point, Golden Key approached him membership, Ashlyn Houska, made several edits press releases lauding the latest Golden Key event to join the international board of directors, but to the page – including deleting an entire section or praising the successes of a campus chapter in nothing ever was set in stone. “I know that they titled ‘Controversy’ – under an account named the past few years: a presentation of honorary had tried to get me involved more deeply than ‘AHouska’. membership to the governor-general, a guest just being the VC of the university.” speech from a decorated academic, a student’s But the ways in which Golden Key obtains stu- award of a scholarship. Ang also denied existence But organisations like Golden Key have been dent information in its recruitment process rais- of a financial arrangement with universities. met with suspicion on Australian campuses. Stu- es more questions; both contact details (physical dents Honi Soit spoke to, in addition to the hun- address or email) and academic results to target At ANU, however, much like many universi- dreds more who left comments on web forums, high-achievers. ties, students are invited to join the society with an opportunity for them to feel like they develop a printing, and we’ll basically pay for that,” he said, Above: points towards a deeper direction within the said they felt initially flattered to receive an invi- personal letters written on official stationery sense of identification with an organization with adding that some campus chapter’s bank account The global organisation. tation, but were wary of the organisation’s initial “In terms of obviously data privacy, it’s some- bearing the university’s logo and address from a good purpose.” Ang denied suggestions that an is held “within” the university, but is solely con- headquarters fee and potential benefits. thing that is extremely important to Golden Key Professor Richard Baker, the Pro Vice-Chancellor official letter from their university encouraging trolled by the student president and deputy to of Golden “We shouldn’t deceive ourselves,” Bernie and the universities that we work with, as it is for of student experience. students to join a private organisation might be spend on chapter activities and some scholar- Key in Milano, the head of the KPMG Foundation told Many of those students who joined said they this printer,” Ang said. “We’ve had a long-stand- misleading. ships. Atlanta, The Chronicle of Higher Education in 2002 after didn’t engage with the society much further than ing relationship with this printer, and so have the In one such letter obtained by Honi Soit, Pro- Georgia, as signing a corporate partnership with Golden Key. their initial induction, and many soon forgot they universities that we work with. We have a strict fessor Baker – who was unavailable for interview Selwyn Cornish, Lu’s predecessor in the cam- Given Golden Key’s emphasis on funding stu- seen from “Companies do this to have access to students. had become members, only to be sent another let- confidentiality agreement in place and that kind – reminded the recipient they are not obliged to, pus ‘advisor’ role, and an academic at the College dent scholarships and hosting events, it spends Street View Students pay their dues to get a leg up in the job ter of invitation for each subsequent year of their of covers all of these areas.” but their academic record qualified them to join of Business and Economics, also sits on the inter- comparatively little of its annual revenue to do market.” degree asking they pay the $100 joining fee again. Golden Key. “It is my pleasure to congratulate you national board of directors. Cornish said Golden this. Though Golden Key is registered with the However, a spokesperson confirmed ANU in on your excellent academic results. This wonder- Key has been “officially” recognised by ANU since Australian Charities and Not-for-profit Commis- Indeed, the sponsorship gives corporations “It’s not always a perfect system,” said Ang, fact directly provided Golden Key with thou- ful achievement makes you eligible to join the it first came to Australia in the mid 1990s after its sion – a federal independent regulatory body that access to invaluable mailing lists of thousands of himself a graduate of the Australian Catholic sands of students’ personal information, includ- Golden Key International Honour Society,” the endorsement was approved by Academic Board collects financial information from 55,000 opera- unwary students whose contact information was University. Many more students said the socie- ing home address and other contact information, letter read. and later the University Council. He denied the tional charities and non-profits in Australia – it’s initially provided to Golden Key by universities ty offered them nothing but a barrage of emails potentially in breach of its own privacy policy. university’s letter is an “invitation” to join, but finances are vague at best. like the ANU. Ang wouldn’t say how much Aus- advertising discounted goods from corporate “The letterhead shows the support of the socie- rather a “support letter”. tralian revenue came from sponsors, but many of sponsors. “Students are able to opt in or out of any When asked whether he was aware of such ty on campus, similar to any other chapters,” said Public records held by the Commission show Golden Key’s email newsletters contain advertise- correspondence we send out.” a privacy breach, former Vice-Chancellor Ian Vinh Lu, the campus advisor. “For the students it’s But it’s hard to deny a financial relationship. Golden Key turned over $1.1 million in revenue ments for products offered by companies ranging Right: a In the past, ANU has provided an undisclosed over 2014 – almost all reportedly from mem- from Shell marketing campaigns to Panasonic Dr Vinh Lu, a senior lecturer from the ANU Golden Key amount of money to students to pay for trav- bership fees – down from $1.3 million the year TVs, to credit cards offered by Bank of America College of Business and Economics who is also invitation el and accommodation to attend Golden Key’s before. There is no reported revenue for corpo- in the US. the university’s on-campus Golden Key ‘advi- letter international conferences, last year held on the rate sponsorship arrangements in the financial sor’ said he was aware of problems with member on ANU Gold Coast, and in 2016 set to be held in Tuscon, reports. When Bernie Milano was invited to visit Gold- engagement, particularly members who sign up letterhead Arizona. en Key’s lavish global headquarters in Atlan- once and never interact with the society again. sent to a Cornish explained most of the money was ta, Georgia, he described the experience to The “I’ve been telling the society for the past year,” student in “That’s not a relationship,” said Cornish. “That “ploughed back into scholarships” and running Chronicle with awe. “This is what you’d expect to he said. “I feel that the members are quite disen- March this is supporting ANU students just as a member of the annual Asia-Pacific conference. But the soci- see in the office of a CEO of a Fortune 100 com- gaged, and this is actually up to the society chap- year the ANU table tennis team or the ANU women’s ety’s financial reports tell another story. Of all its pany,” he said, “not that of a student-centered, ter to run programs and activities that connect soccer team seeking funding from the university.” listed expenses in 2014, $1.1 million went towards non-profit organization.” their members.” But unlike a varsity team representing a universi- costs including paying staff wages, travel costs, ty, Golden Key members go in a private capacity, invitation costs, rent, professional fees, office sup- Certainly, on the surface, Golden Key presents It’s only a matter of time before Golden and with apparently little oversight from ANU plies, ‘corporate allocation’, and miscellaneous itself as a student non-profit, but in reality it is a Key becomes a more accepted part of campus itself. expenses. Cornish told Honi a part of the revenue successful business model. It relies on the unend- life, ANU chapter president Sarah Heywood was sent back to the organisation’s Atlanta head- ing recruitment of new members to the society. explained. “I think because [Golden Key] is such “Every year, the Vice-Chancellor decides to quarters offshore, something that Ang described After all, where member fees make up nearly an unfamiliar concept in Australia, there hasn’t offer a certain amount of funds for activities and as an “on-paper allocation”. all its reported revenue, recruitment is its main been enough time for people to understand what if a student would like to attend [a Golden Key prerogative. While it presents itself as a philan- an honour society does, what the point of it is.” conference],” said Lu. “If any students come to us, “Most of the money is channeled back into thropic venture, there is no mistaking its business motives. “There’s this reputation that we [Golden Key] have. But meeting the people who are involved Its revenue is further supplemented by corpo- and believe in what Golden Key is doing… really For such a seemingly large organisation, there rate sponsorship by companies seeking to tap into it is that helping bright students achieve their full to Golden Key’s valuable mailing list of university potential outside of the classroom.” is surprisingly little information available students – a conventionally hard-to-reach market for advertisers. There is little net benefit for stu- But it’s not an uncommon criticism that the online about it. dents to join, at least far less than the $100 joining society is little more than a network of sleek and fee could hope to cover. For the vast majority who professional recruiters whose main job is to entice join, under the impression the society is part of students with the promise of exclusive access to we will usually ask them for a funding proposal. Golden Key student activities,” said Cornish. or officially linked to their university, they sim- private networking events and scholarships to Any students who would like to go overseas on But this assertion does not match up with finan- ply join a growing database of students to which travel overseas. It’s not far off the mark: heavy a trip, they need to propose the benefits and the cial records. According to 2014 reports, the total corporate sponsors can target their marketing PR spin and an expertly honed public image are funding costs.” spent on member events or scholarships that year material. hallmarks of Golden Key that shroud its business was just below $199,000, less than a fifth of total practices. When interviewed by Honi Soit, Ang initially revenue. Just as was shown in the case of Student VIP, rejected the suggestion of a financial arrangement the ultimate benefit, as with many such ‘stu- For such a seemingly large organisation, there between ANU (and other universities) and Gold- Though it is unclear from its financial reports, dent-oriented’ companies, remains squarely with is surprisingly little information available online en Key. But when pressed, he quickly conced- Golden Key supplements part of its revenue those who operate it. Students, it’s worth remind- about it. Its website is vague at best, and uses ed there was an arrangement “in-kind”, though with corporate sponsorship. Its website lists sev- ing, are almost never the consumer, but are almost platitudes to describe the “power of knowledge” would not go into detail. eral major business partners, including Bank of always the product. and “continuum of excellence” in the way a travel America, Shell and Lenovo, as sponsors. While company or a life coach might advertise its ser- “Some of our universities will do their own this may be innocuous enough at face value, it 12 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 13 PERSPECTIVE MEDALLIST SPEECH Attack and defence The right path of the law

Anonymous on how to navigate the conflict engulfing the University's colleges This is an abridged version of the speech delivered by University Medallist Melissa Chen at the Sydney Law School prize winners' ceremony on May 5 I should preface this article by making a few are a product of a something much bigger and can exacerbate issues such as sexism, wheth- disclaimers: this is my third year living at one more nuanced, extending far beyond the sand- er or not we feel our personal experiences are ood evening Dean, distinguished guests, The first factor was finding balance in life – hol abuse problems probably means that you can- of USyd’s residential colleges. In the wake of stone walls of colleges. What we end up with accurately conveyed to the public. We need to faculty members, our generous prize between my career and education, family rela- not buy a train ticket; the fact that there are asy- a recent media onslaught centred on some- is a cycle of criticism and reaction that doesn’t distinguish a critique of culture from an assault donors, and of course, tonight’s prize tionships, social life and health and wellbeing. I lum seekers being tortured and sexually abused thing so personal, it’s tempting to assess the address the substance of the problem. on our own self-worth. Equally, media coverage Gwinners and their wonderful families look back at the first four years of my law degree and psychologically destroyed in offshore deten- claims made against my own “college expe- The purpose of this article isn’t to fire another which distorts and politicises these issues only and friends. It is such a privilege to give this year’s in utter disbelief that I used to think it was okay tion centres, burning themselves to death because rience”. But to do so would risk equating my alienates the communities within these institu- address and I can only hope that my questionable to eat a packet of Pringles, Natural Confection- they think this is the only viable means of escap- own voice with a group that spans six sepa- tions and encourages a culture of blaming those oratory skills can do this honour justice. ery snakes and a carton of chocolate milk because ing their situation, under the cover of Australia’s rate communities, and cannot be singularly As students, we need to who come forward. While college management My instructions for this evening are to pro- I was “too busy” to cook something healthy for “national security interests”. spoken for or defined. In the context of global has a part to play, the power to impart cultural vide a “celebratory reflection on the year”. And dinner; that I used to scoff openly at those who If indeed you entered law school with a burn- focus on institutional culture, it seems more make concessions about values lies with the students. Publicity can only certainly, there is a whole lot to celebrate about suggested that I exercise and go for a walk once ing optimism about the positive things the law constructive to focus on the significance of generate change by starting a meaningful dis- studying law at the University of Sydney. in a while for a study break; that I used to ignore can achieve – I implore you to hold tight to your these events in how we navigate these issues in how the culture in our cussion with the people who have the power to invitations from my family and friends to cele- aspirations and allow them to inform your deci- the public sphere. do something. brate a birthday because I was so stressed about sion-making and career pathways as a law stu- The most pervasive aspects of sexism come institutions can exacerbate On a broader note, maybe it is time to open However, for me to focus on these positive things my course load. The greatest tragedy I think dent and a lawyer. Our system needs intelligent, from the nuances of everyday life which don’t up a critique of a university culture fixated on here tonight would be disingenuous and mislead- would be for you – tonight’s prize winners, intelli- hard-working people like tonight’s prize winners lend well to headlines; the casual comments, issues like sexism, whether divisions between campus groups and commu- ing. What is left out of most speeches at formal gent, motivated people with so much to offer this to keep fighting the good fight, so that the law attitudes and conversations which shape what nities, where we define people by their place of events like these is a realistic reflection on the world – to remain so focused on that single goal can be used as a tool for social justice rather than is acceptable. To address the failings of an insti- or not we feel our personal residence, a society or a coloured t-shirt. day-to-day drudgery and frustration and stress of of academic and career “success” at the expense a tool of oppression. tutional culture, in any context, is far more It’s natural that everyone needs to belong completing a law degree. For me, some of these of all other areas of life, that you die of a heart complex than making grand gestures to be seen experiences are accurately somewhere. But without an inclusive concept experiences were as follows: receiving a 68 per attack at your desk at the age of 42 – perhaps with as positive action. It’s about addressing where of what it means to be a student here, USyd is cent in an assignment and locking myself in the a lot of money in the bank and a large proper- I would like to spend a few minutes expressing the problem lies at the roots, rather than just conveyed to the public just an amalgam of different cliques with val- Law School Society office and vowing to study ty portfolio – but with no friends and no fami- my gratitude to the people who have supported chopping off branches. ues that are varying degrees of problematic. 20 hours a day until I could remedy that ‘poor’ ly to mourn your loss. It is well worth reflecting me throughout law school and without whom I Unfortunately media articles inevitably We need to resist the instinct to fall back on a mark and subsequently being woken up at 4am tonight on your achievements and the method in would never have had the privilege of addressing focus on the dramatic, and can sometimes esca- shot into the battle of publicity on this topic. It discursive framework of “us” versus “them” and by the cleaner vacuuming under the table where which you achieved them and how, in the future, you all today. late into a war of electronic words. What should is to suggest that all stakeholders in this situa- admit battle lines have already been crossed. I had fallen asleep; having my skin break out into you can continue pursuing your goals and dreams To the lecturers and tutors at this great institu- be a dialogue deteriorates into a battle between tion should stop thinking in terms of attack and That is, if working towards a more progressive rashes and having a constant sense of nausea in a healthy and sustainable way. tion – thank you for imparting your enthusiasm cliques which obscures productive discussion defence. As students, we need to make conces- environment for young people is what we’re around exam time; my friend’s nose spontane- The second factor which helped me through and dedication to the law to all your students. of the real issue at play: that these incidents sions about how the culture in our institutions really fighting for. ously bleeding from the sheer stress of complet- the last few years of law school was to rediscover To my employers throughout law school, ing his honours thesis; comforting one of my my original motivation for studying law and for- including Ragni Mathur who is so kindly here friends, who was in tears, outside this very lec- mulating career goals and aspirations that were tonight, thank you for teaching me how to trans- ture theatre, because her grandfather had passed consistent with that motivation. It is almost a joke late theory into practice, and for being such won- away and the week before she had turned down at law school, delivered with a smirk of knowing derful and patient mentors. an opportunity to fly overseas and see him for the derision, that first year students arrive on their To my family – in particular, my dad, grand- Replicating racism last time because she was so worried about failing first day, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, with opti- mother, and brother – thank you for loving me her upcoming law assessments. mism in their eyes and a desire to use the law to unconditionally in the way that only family can. change the world for the better in their hearts – To my friends – thank you for supporting me Kevin Lee on the way our parents impart subtle oppression and that by final year, these very same students, throughout the ups and downs, honestly, I would If indeed you entered law inevitably have prestigious jobs at top tier com- have quit law school for med school long ago if it mercial law firms or investment banks or man- wasn’t for your support. In particular, I would like My father’s and my last names are the same in Chi- took the easier way out: they tried as hard as they suggest that Asian women are bad drivers, are school with a burning agement consultancies. So many of us who had to thank my long-suffering study buddy Nicholas nese, but different in English: his is spelled Li, and could to integrate into the white community, and true, and that I should just learn to accept them. these original dreams and desires to help people Condylis, who is the pure embodiment of the idea mine is spelled Lee. The reason for the change is distanced themselves from other da lou ren – peo- Or, worse still, I’m told that I shouldn’t be sur- optimism about the positive using the law seem to finish law school with a real that with hard work and humility you can achieve that Australians kept pronouncing his “Lie”, which, ple from the Chinese mainland – by adopting the prised when I see Chinese people being treated pessimism about the ability to do this. absolutely anything. he tells me, was not only inaccurate, but also made same views they had been subject to. And, believ- like they don’t exist, or that international stu- things the law can achieve – Having now volunteered and worked in the Finally – I would like to thank the one person it sound as if he was a liar. So, to make my life a ing that doing so would protect from the harass- dents are excluded from student activities: what community legal sector for the last four years, and who has supported me for my entire life and would little easier, our family name was reformulated into ment that they had once endured, they attempted else do I expect when they can’t even properly I implore you to hold tight hopefully far into the future, it has become clear sacrifice anything for me, and who would love me something more readily pronounceable. to pass those views onto me. speak the language? to me there are more reasons now than ever for equally whether I was here giving this speech or That is just one of many anecdotes that illus- Yet even their best attempts at integration have There is, perhaps, some value in non-white to your aspirations students interested in a career in social justice to had just been accused of defamation following a trate the way in which white ignorance, ranging not always been successful. For as long as I can maintain a dogged determination to their goals of corporations law exam – my mother, Karyn May. from banal misunderstandings to overt discrimi- remember, my mother has been signing up for, using the law to obtain justice for and empower Now, when I was in primary school my mum nation, has shaped my relationship with my par- and dropping out of, English language courses, But when, as a result of the It is an oft-cited statistic that more than 30% of the most vulnerable and disadvantaged members began attending university as a mature age student ents. Racism makes people of colour ashamed not for any lack of determination or ability, but law students will experience anxiety or depres- of our society. – having never been to university before – and I of their own identities, and tells them to adopt rather because of a fear of being judged by her shame and isolation forced sion at some point while they are at university; distinctly remember to this day watching her study a guise of whiteness in order to find acceptance. white peers. Merely trying to speak up and engage upon entering the legal profession, these men- diligently on the weekends and weeknights while When parents internalise that shame, they pass it with the white community instantaneously iden- upon them by white society, tal health problems get worse. There is such an Without such dogged determination we will not also somehow managing to raise my brother and onto their children, and the family unit becomes tifies her as one of “those” Chinese-Australians, obsession in this law school and in society on be able to put pressure on federal and state gov- I as a single parent – and not only did she do a co-opted by the poisonous beliefs and stereotypes who don’t “speak the local language” and “adopt racism is perniciously being “successful” and winning scholarships and ernments to reverse the 30 per cent cut in funding damn good job of that, she also managed to top of white supremacy. local customs”, so often it is easier to remain silent prizes and medals, when really what we should be to community legal centres which are already so her course at university. Having a role model like I cannot count the number of times when my and not try at all. Unsurprisingly, I was never perpetuated by people of talking about is how to achieve our goals in life stretched to the limit and which assist thousands this in my life instilled in me the greatest sense of parents, annoyed by someone’s bad driving, would encouraged to keep trying to read and write Chi- while also looking after ourselves in a sustainable of individuals – who otherwise would not have strength and independence and fearlessness. And chalk it up to them being just another “Asian driv- nese as a child – that wasn’t important to some- colour, they impart that same and healthy way. No doubt it is exciting and ful- the money to obtain legal advice – with their legal I sincerely hope that all of you here tonight are er”. Usually, they tried to verify their accusation one living in Australia, after all. filling to receive public affirmation for the things issues. Without such dogged determination, we lucky enough to have someone like that in your life by either peering into the offender’s side window This isn’t to say that the discriminatory nature shame onto their children we do – but if we build our identity around these will not be able to fight against the many injustic- and that you are able to take a moment to really, as they drove past, or analysing their licence plate: of my parents’ beliefs should be downplayed or things, as perhaps in the past and even now I am es that could be remedied, rather than perpetuat- truly, express your appreciation to that person for a string of 1s, 6s or 8s, lucky numbers in the Chi- excused. Nor could I ever accuse them of being tempted to do, we are setting ourselves up for dis- ed, by the legal system – injustices which include everything they have done. So mum, to you I say, nese community. Their friends would regularly bad parents. But when, as a result of the shame communities reclaiming ownership of stere- appointment – as inevitably, the public accolades the fact that there remains today Indigenous fam- though words are clearly inadequate, thank you so share, with a combination of intrigue and disgust, and isolation forced upon them by white society, otypes about themselves and reinventing new will dry up and we’ll be left staring at ourselves ilies living as tenants in town camps less than 1km much – these awards that I receive tonight are as stories about the faults of Chinese immigrants, racism is perniciously perpetuated by people of meanings from them. But that cannot explain the in the mirror with emptiness and dissatisfaction. from the Darwin CBD in absolute squalor, sur- much yours as they are mine. ranging from their gaudy fashion sense to their colour, they impart that same shame onto their degree and extent to which those communities rounded by garbage and excrement and broken supposed inability to maintain clean restaurant children. In that way we are, from a young age, replicate the racism which they are subjected to. toilets and lights and doors because their land- kitchens. “This is why gui lao (Westerners) hate discouraged from ever choosing to accept our When whiteness is intergenerationally taught as But I don’t want this speech to be a lords have no money to fulfil their obligations as On that note, prize winners, congratulations on the Chinese,” would always be their conclusion. identity, and are told that we ought to instead the correct mode of behaviour, that replication is massive downer. landlords; the fact that there are homeless young your achievements. I wish you all the best in the Having immigrated in the 1980s, my parents pursue whiteness in order to be accepted. inevitable. Ending racism has to start with people There are two factors that have helped me to people with fines exceeding tens and thousands of pursuit of your own goals and pathways in life, I were regularly exposed to the kinds of racial dis- When I speak to others who come from of colour believing that they deserve better, and not only stay committed to and passionate about dollars, and facing imprisonment for these fines, hope that above all you remember to look after crimination that is today widely ridiculed and migrant families about racial discrimination, I’m that they have something to fight for – and that studying and practising law, but also – and most because police and transport officers do not seem yourself and your friends and families, and I look caricatured. Lacking any real ability to fight the frequently told that it isn’t worth worrying about. starts with parents telling their children that they importantly – have enabled me to lead a happy to understand that indeed being homeless and forward to working with you all at some stage racism they encountered, they understandably Often, I hear that stereotypes, like those that ought to be proud of who they are. and healthy and sustainable life. suffering from mental health and drug and alco- throughout our careers. Thank you. 14 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 15 SCIENCE & TECH CULTURE What Indian media can teach us Weapons-grade research Erin Jordan thinks Australian media needs a new approach to diversity

On May 18, I joined a number of fellow media and needs to put in a lot more effort if it wants to Sydney or Melbourne based media system, they Victoria Zerbst on how the Defence Trade Controls Act could impact academia communications students in attending a guest claim that it represents diversity of any kind. The have their own stations and platforms. It is pre- lecture by Jawhar Sircar’s – CEO of the almighty hosts, presenters, weather reporters and everyone cisely this management of regional diversity that media conglomerate Indian Prasar Bharti Media. really, are noticeably white and predominantly Australia should take note of. I will admit it wasn’t until I heard someone whis- city-centric. As Guardian Indigenous editor Stan Not only does Australia have a system incom- per behind me “he has met Obama!” that my Grant recently highlighted, there are no places parable to what Sircar describes, but we are interest was piqued. Sircar, however, proved to be where Indigenous reporters are fairly employed actively moving away from it. Funding pressures more than just some guy who’s met Obama. He as foreign correspondents, despite them being on the ABC that have seen regional and rural carried with him a very important message for the most appropriate representatives of Austral- reporting take a hit would be seen as particular- Australian media: unity in the community can ia. The ABC’s dedicated Indigenous department ly fatal by Bharti Media. By eliminating regional only be truly forged if we take representations of attempts to confront problems of representation, services, Bharti Media would risk sacrificing the difference seriously, and put in place systems to but ultimately doesn’t result in the space for a strength that these individualised areas give to hand power directly to unrepresented voices. non-conventional presenter to be a part of the the united construction of India. Beyond media, A week prior to this lecture, Australia was mainstream dialogue of Australia, or for regional Sircar’s emphasis on the importance of coopera- abuzz with Waleed Aly’s “controversial” Logie diversity to be represented. Whilst it is important tion between the regional and the national pro- win. It was only in reflecting on Sircar’s words of to recognise this evident representation gap in vides broader lessons as to how we can overcome wisdom that I could understand why Aly’s win our media, it is more important to understand our problems of cultural diversity. In practice he was so controversial. The truth is, we all grew what there is to be done about it. So what does describes this as dubbing the contents of regional up in an environment where Australia’s ability Sircar have to do with all of this? Well, I think we radio songs into Hindi, a national language. The to accept diversity was vacuously tooted by pol- can learn from his media system. regional is woven delicately, but meaningfully iticians, teachers and the media. It is because of The picture Sircar provides of the Indian into the national interest, fostering the modern this that we are unable to reconcile or understand media starkly contrasts the current patched-to- Indian attitude that I would like someday to be the differences between what we have been told to gether broadcast that is Australian media. Instead echoed in Australia. Instead of requiring some be true and the actual racist reality of Australia. it is a “pan-Indian service” comprised of 400 indi- level of cultural assimilation for diverse voices to There are a myriad reasons for this, but our media vidualised but national radio stations, 125,000 be heard, their difference is respected and upheld. does play an important role in perpetuating it. newspaper publications and 15 commercial It’s hard to say exactly what this would look The current state of the Australian media is, broadcast centres. Its coverage is far-reaching and like in an Australian context, but in essence it if the national shock of Aly’s win is anything to all encompassing and each station or newspaper involves destabilising the current city-centric sys- go by, rather horrific. We don’t have to peruse the publication represents a different voice. Instead tem, handing power over to decentralised media public broadcast channels of radio or television of attempting to insert the occasional arguably outlets across the country: a grassroots approach for too long before we realise Australian media token minority (be it ethnic, regional etc.) into a to constructing a media landscape.

thing he or his colleagues might seek to teach. As Anderson puts it, “They [the government] can be like, 'that was actually private information, you shouldn't have disseminated that'. And it's actual- Chicho Gelato, Perth ly specifically disseminating it to foreign nation- als. Because my class is full of international stu- Cool boy Aaron Chen reviews cool food dents, I can't talk about it in my class now, I can't talk about new developments, without first of all making sure – are they in the public domain, are I had to go to Perth on a plane last week. It was a they normally accessible, are they above this cer- cool thing to be able to do and I had lots of fun. tain level of encryption? If I fail to do that, if I But there were still drawbacks. The major one was actually want to show them something cool and that when I was in Perth, a band called Hinds was new that hasn't actually been publicised yet, they in Sydney, and when I left Perth they played there. can chuck me in jail for 20 years.” There was a tiny amount of time where we crossed While the Defence Trade Controls Act was ini- over in Perth, but I would never be able to meet tiated to align Australia’s policy with internation- them. It was my last day in Perth and I was feeling al laws, both the US and UK have protections for pretty grim about that, walking around with my public research and education. mates Sam, Tom, John and Sarah. We just got a For Anderson, his qualms with the act focus Tsar’s breakfast at Babushka. It had lots of pro- Art by: t doesn’t seem outlandish to laud tertiary in the fields of computing and mathematics who less on the fear of persecution and more on the tein, so that was definitely a positive. The spinach Frankie education as a weapon against ignorance, completed his PhD in cryptography at the Uni- law’s damaging impact on innovation. “It really was well-wilted. Sarah is from London and want- Hossack dogma and cognitive inertia. Yet, while versity of Waterloo. He explains cryptography as stifles creativity. It stifles interaction and it sti- ed to get a “proper milkshake” so we crossed the I studies in philosophy have certainly offered “a collection of topics to do with protecting infor- fles collaboration. Stomping on something with road to get that. (Sarah was saying how Australia a shield from bias and intellectual firearms to mation from people that you don’t want to be able policy is this government's default go-to action. hardly has any proper milkshakes that were heaps unleash during verbal combat, it would seem to see this information – it’s data control.” Unfortunately it hurts the industry, and it hurts thick and that. I agreed. I offered a McDonald’s absurd to receive a prison sentence for bringing This control is particularly important now, progress.” thick shake, but she was like “Nah it’s shit.” I’m Occam’s Razor onto an airplane. when internet use is pervasive, and people can O’Connor believes it will take a long time like “I love McDonald’s thick shakes.” She said she There are, however, areas of academia that send information freely and easily. “Encryption is until people actually realise what they have to did too, but also it was a very specific mood you are broadly defined as weapons by the Australi- what gives you the protection on top of the con- comply with. “Traditionally these types of laws have to be in to have it. I agreed.) an Department of Defence. Many fields in sci- nectivity, so you can create private channels over have not gone down very well, so they normally So we went to go and get this milkshake. But ence and information technology are considered the internet,” O’Connor explains. go through a couple of stages – disbelief, a lot of then when we arrived there they were, Hinds the "dual-use" (designed or suitable for both civilian An article published in The Conversation last outcry for being enacted, then people may start four-piece band from Spain. I wish I were lying Art by: Ann and military purposes) by the government and month suggested that “researchers and innova- to tentatively comply, and then maybe even they but I’m not lying. They were standing outside eat- Ding are defined as “strategic goods” in the Defence tors who communicate any new idea overseas start to comply significantly, at great cost and ing their gelato. I was like so low-key about it like and Strategic Goods List (DSGL). These are- without permission could face ten years in prison inconvenience”. “omg (note the lower case). i love hinds.” and they as include biotechnology, quantum computing, and $400,000 in fines.” He believes the first prosecution will be the lit- were like “sick. thanks.” My friend Sam was like optical telecommunications, robotics and, the Luke Anderson is a PhD candidate and infor- mus test to see how the legislation actually plays “Oh hey, I designed your poster when you came main one, cryptography. mation security lecturer at the University of Syd- out. “In the end we have to hope we have smart to Brisbane last time you were here.” The reason In April this year, the 2015 amendments to ney School of IT. “The trade controls don't cover lawyers who can argue these cases.” he said that was because he had designed their the Defence Trade Controls Act (DTCA) came things which are already considered to be pub- Even though it might be a while before we poster when they came to Brisbane the last time into effect with the goal to “control the transfer of lic knowledge. So if it's RSA, some sort of public see our professors jailed for disseminating new they were here. They all had different gelatos. defence and strategic goods technologies.” There encryption algorithm is fine, no worries. Where information, these laws stand at odds with Turn- We may have all seemed very chill about it. The are now offences for persons who do not follow it comes in and starts affecting me is if I start bull’s focus on technological innovation. While truth was I was very intimidated, the rumours are military protocol or have a permit or approval to inventing something new," he explains. it is impossible to ignore the changing landscape true…I was major-league star struck. supply DSGL technology. These persons could Yet in a field marked by constant change, of military intelligence, it is important that poli- I didn’t get a gelato. 5 stars. very easily be academics. Anderson is concerned that the new laws, which cy-makers allow for academic freedom and ensure Luke O’Connor is a former security lecturer he describes as “vague”, could be applied to some- the security of academics teaching Security. Hinds has finished their Australia tour. HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 17 FUCKIN' REVIEW CITY

MY DAY ON A PLATE Identity revues Alison Xiao will ride eternal, shiny and chrome on her way to the Seymour Centre

One of the most traditionally beloved revues of tone voice interrupting popular hit songs. Theo the season, Jew Revue 2016, delivered laughs Murray’s voiceovers were also a crowd-winner. galore on its opening night. The show was a Jew Revue’s musical numbers were on point delightful celebration of Jewish culture and with The Black Eyed Peas’ Boom Boom Pow embodied the flourishing performing arts scene converted into the anthem for Turnbull’s “Ideas at USyd. Directed by former directors of Arts and Boom” in a stellar showcase of rapping, singing Science Revue, Victoria Zerbst and Adam Chal- and acting. Musical director Will “Wally” Alling- QUINCY THE IBIS mers, the eclectic cast exuded joy, and sold every ton, and choreographer Isabel Rae Timmerman Dad, food rescue ambassador, ibis-about-town fresh and wacky moment. produced the highlights of the night, delivering Mad Max Brenner: Jewry Road drew its Jew- a stunning closing number to the tune of Mam- 7am Woken by Carillon, I make sure to take two spiration from material ranging from biblical bo No. 5. Another musical number featured an huge slurps of bubbler-puddle water before times to modern day Hollywood celebs. Though endearing case of forgotten lyrics, with all four getting the kids ready. It’s important to me that its Jewish references created the underlying fab- singers unfortunately falling silent during a 9/11 I stay well-hydrated, so I drink a few litres every ric, many of the show’s strongest moments were based musical number. This critic really wanted day. just plain quirky. In a crowd favourite sketch, to hear those parody replacement lyrics. Emma Balfour’s acting chops were on full dis- 7.45am After walking the kids to Victoria Park, I play in her dramatic retelling of swallowing go for the remnant froth from a discarded skin- every animal under the sun. The eclectic cast exuded ny cap. Fisher Coffee Cart 2.0 does the most Not any revue can drop an Emily Eyefinger amazing coffee-lid undersides. sketch but Steph Ryan’s googly-eye taped to her joy, and sold every fresh and finger made me want to run home and find my 10am Meetings, meetings, meetings – me and Emily Eyefinger books stat. A surprise video wacky moment the other ibises are trying to finalise our posi- guest caused a ripple of “OMG WTF” reactions tion statement on the new FASS building. I’ve in the audience – during intermission, prompt- While some of the punchlines could’ve been really getting into the flaked almonds on ed whispers of “was that really him?!!” Jestika punched harder, and a few sketches fell flat, almond croissants lately, so I sneak in a clawful. Chand and Aidan Mollins hilariously delivered the revue was nevertheless an extraordinary their hot-take of a morning news show, “Dude, mixture of wit, fun and eccentricity. The 1.15pm Taste baguette crumbs for lunch. If I’ve No!”. And little could beat Davis Murphy’s Harry production is full of spirit, a charming show been good, I’ll go for those the ones mois- Potterwitz and the Scarry Dick ft. the Sorting Yar- you’d be mad to miss. For those worried they tened with honey mustard mayonnaise. Not mulke, whose prop dildo fell and hit Voldemort wouldn't get every Jewish reference, merely today though! (an accident that I hope recurred every night). the gorgeous set design along with the prom- Running jokes are the make or break of any revue ise of a live baby and real dog, made this show 3.30pm Daphne finds a half-eaten bagel for the and this show delivered, with a hilarious mono- worth your buck. flock. Would be rude to say no!

4.10pm An apple core to give me energy for Ellie Rogers and Oliver Moore also review Jew Revue's the school run. Mad Max Brenner: Jewry Road 5pm Unwind with some tepid Boag’s Draught from the bottom of a Hermann’s glass. Tides me over until the kids are asleep. Any night that begins with a theatre attendant of “Dude, No’’. angrily asking us “what Jew are you” (because No revue would be complete without video 7pm Dinner is always a protein. I usually try there are two Jewish-themed shows hosted at the sketches, and Jew Revue’s incredible reimagin- to get something healthy, like smoked salmon same theatre) is a night not to miss. ing of Zoolander directed by Wes Anderson was from finished plates at Courtyard, but Darcy With energetic performances from a capable a sure-fire crowd pleaser, along with the classic honks at the most inopportune moment, and and dynamic cast, Jew Revue was everything meme "Remember 9/11", thanks to self-titled we’re shooed away. We settle on meatbox to love about student revues. It was a perfect "video mum" and "video dad", Balfour and Tisher. shavings and squashed fries. blend of physical comedy (Jeromaia Giuseppe Similarly, no revue would be complete without Detto and Luke Tisher literally just eating hot the intimidating heckling of Ominous James, the 10pm Put the kids to bed, a few licks of choc- chillies onstage), impressive acting chops (the overhead speaker “eliminating’’ actors and audi- olate smear from a Twix wrapper (don’t tell sheer commitment to “Clown Dad” was frankly ence members as they left for intermission. We Daphne!) and I’m out like a light. stunning), and good old classic shitposts (spe- stayed for the entire skit and didn’t get heckled cial mention to “Again, St Malaria” for being the Editor's Note: once which was only mildly disappointing. underrated joke of the night). The jokes most lost on the crowd were the ones ALEXANDROS TSATHAS These pieces that tended towards the political, though perhaps Ibis nutritionist were both this is a necessary feature of any student production. edited by The sketch of the night was Lyrics were also lost to much louder musical accom- Quincy is relying too much on opportunis- Naaman paniment, unfortunately meaning we couldn’t hear tic snacking to see him through the day. He Zhou. an attempt, via time machine, most of what we assume was an incredible Hamilton needs more structure in his diet, with foods Victoria parody in "Potential Commandments". that release energy slowly, rather than rely- Zerbst had to assassinate baby Hitler, The sketch of the night was an attempt, via time ing on caffeine hits and sugar fixes. Meatbox no hand machine, to assassinate baby Hitler, featuring the act- shavings are a fabulous source of protein, influencing featuring the acting debut of ing debut of an adorable actual infant child, perhaps but ibises often go wrong with portion size. these rivalled only by the boy trapped in a dog’s body giving The salmon would have been a healthier reviews an adorable actual infant child his Bar Mitzvah speech. The fact that the two stand- option. A bagel is fine on occasion, but fruit besides out performances were carried by non-cast members is better. Apples are great: rich in fibre, great privately Stand-out performances came from Emma should not discourage a hilarious and talented cast. for gut health, and high in potassium and blackmailing Balfour as the vengeful old lady who swal- With a zippy throughline of time-travelling sci- manganese. lowed a fly, Jeromaia Guiseppe Detto narrating every Honi entists and blaster-wielding time cops, the whole reporter. through song the decline of his monogamous show came together in a moment of genuine I like that Quincy drinks plenty of water. When But that relationship and subsequent turn to a life of affection from the audience and performers as we he does reach for a beer, why not enjoy it is pretty crime in “Mambo Number 1”, and Jestika Chand applauded to reverse time and bring back Mambo’s properly? The bar troughs under the taps at Josephine Gibson scored this stu-polka standard. and Aidan Molins as affectionate co-presenters son, a diamond-moment in 540kg of sand. Courtyard have beer that’s cool and fresh. The cryptic, quick and target can be solved HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 19

Cryptic from any side. By EN, Zplig, Atrus and Skribblex. JUMBO PUZZLES

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18. Spoil (3) Spoil 18. 10. Arlington light rail stop services which Sydney suburb? 11. Elizabeth - against all odds - from virtual to in in to virtual from - odds all against - Elizabeth 11. (4) form purest its in meat adder’s Smoke 18. 12. Device for catching game (4) game catching for Device 12.

17. Someone who controls entry (7) entry controls who Someone 17. 11. In which country was the splayd invented? 9. Player’s thing was exposed after bath (4) bath after exposed was thing Player’s 9. (6) example for Turkey, from peacekeepers 10. Studies hard (5) hard Studies 10.

15. Windows, say (1,1) say Windows, 15. 12. What are the names of Johnny Depp’s two dogs? take the stage? (4) stage? the take of expulsion annual stop to contracted am I 16. 9. Controlled (6) Controlled 9. (6) below from rock drilling for Machine 13.

6. Heath Ledger’s last movie of obscurity leads to to leads obscurity of movie last Ledger’s Heath 6. (4) up is time that ringing initially spinets and Bells 14. 7. Rise and fall of the ocean (4) ocean the of fall and Rise 7. 12. Area of maths involving sins and tans (4) tans and sins involving maths of Area 12. 13. The Powerhouse Museum’s collection is currently held in which

4. Transfer agreement included contract clause? (5) clause? contract included agreement Transfer 4. (5) level normal a in 100€ makes player Indiana 12. undergrads (1,1,1) undergrads 11. Point of a pen (3) pen a of Point 11. two Sydney suburbs?

16-across (4) 16-across (5) bather? by given Root 10. 6. Peak representative body for Australian Australian for body representative Peak 6.

10. Rotates (5) Rotates 10. 14. Which country won the 2016 Eurovision Song Contest?

3. Judge briefed on IRS’ missing case made up for for up made case missing IRS’ on briefed Judge 3. (4) onset after it’s again, - in I’m 8. 4. Exclamation to express disgust (2) disgust express to Exclamation 4.

8. Canonical hours (6) hours Canonical 8. 15. The Sydney Swans formed when which Victorian-based club

bare breasts (5) breasts bare (7) Rapunzel like Latin but French, Very 7. 3. Brief glance (4) glance Brief 3.

DOWN early (2) ending too reached Effect 1. Mass starter CARS pre-release 2. Project summary (5) package Warface to Floor’s3. Killing alternative game (4) first dev’s is Journey dropped 4. Scribblenauts reportedly opening – boo (4) from majority of Bas - played 5. Arkham hero tion (4) age (4) original Myst 6. Discovered Last medic obtained The Combat 7. (6) Guardian no = lie” originally removed; “Cake 9. (7) in Don’t Starve? greater – shelter Fallout 13. Sediment covering (6) 1000 – in nuclear war Vault immigrants good Arstotzkan 14. What (7) role? do quietly in Grim Fandango poaching Bioshock from 15. Outbribe, (2) place Taking 5. agreed to relocate?

2. Area of authority for laughless concubines with with concubines laughless for authority of Area 2. (2) them for removed content Exam’s 5. 2. Side sheltered from the wind (3) wind the from sheltered Side 2.

3. Strips skin off (5) off skin Strips 3. 16. Which three colours are present on an Allen’s Minties wrapper?

1. Award stripped, leading to struggle (3) struggle to leading stripped, Award 1. (6) locations hospital two from staff Signal 1.

1. Students (6) Students 1.

1. Puts resources into a common supply (5) supply common a into resources Puts 1. 17. An ampersand is a punctuation mark used in the place of which DOWN ACROSS

DOWN

ACROSS word?

ZPLIG ZPLIG NORTH 18. Place the following USU publications in order from earliest to current: The Bull, The Union Recorder, PULP, BULL Magazine, The Bulletin. 19. On a standard QWERTY keyboard, which symbol appears above the “8”?

28. Cut heroin lost by playwright (3) 25. Um… a pair of Royal beaches (3) 24. Toots under band, amuses extremely! (4) 22. Vibrator rush? (4) 21. The avoidant form a musical I vet, strangely (9) 18. Secret old eerie quarry (4) 17. Be next to a bum toot (4) 16. Identify with a letter, say? (3) 12. Has-been SWAT loses toe with a slip (3) 11. Remove Golden State stickers (5) 10. bishop’s Clock Spooner’s hat (5) 8. Bridalwear maker made worse? (6) 6. Hold off cooking wrasse head! (3) 4. Badass dance (3) 1. Tie up cow out of England (4) ACROSS SKRIBBLEX WEST 20. On what date do Semester 2 classes resume?

puters returned in obscure case (9) in obscure returned puters quill (4) 22. Scan Sonic’s Halo (4) about overtaking Trumpet 24. (3) Age? Broken topping 25. Tearaway did with three Witness The 28. What (3) keys? movement out of four with lead brawling crown lost 31. Zelda (5) perhaps? Sackboy, like characters returned Suit dropped; 32. Slack Zero appeal (5) Prime with sex Metroid to play Half-Life 33. Gunpoint bookends (6) play by after cover releasing Battlefield 35. (3) Wednesday - assas beheading top 36. Dishonored: (3) Dunwall? sins at over place first Doom received 37. (4) Dead Space Sudoku 13. Nymph grabs new leaf (6) 9. Sets red boiled sweet (7) 7. Jailer of precinct, er! (6) 6. Ends syllables, e.g. in trireme! (4) 5. About time, relief is on strike (4) say (4) 4. Make conclusion right in Logic and Reason, 3. Joh’s love would at first pass smoothly (4) 2. Pick apartment entrance to go over (5) 1. I could be the most interesting ma? (2) DOWN 37. Share house with marsupial at first, maybe (4) 36. Awful, low-quality commercial (3) 35. How are internal battles? (3) 33. Recall electronically after wrecked liver (6) 32. Right put out mandate (5) 31. Monitored, perhaps threaded? (5) ATRUS EAST ATRUS ACROSS (4) opening doubled land area 1. Portal Origins beta (3) Age: 4. Smear Dragon Tetris cleared two 6. Noob sorts last blocks (3) organisation 8. Carmen Sandiego’s 2? (6) hospitalised in Infamous has one Sniper cut- Fortress Team 10. HUD element (5) out for origi - loser overwrote 11. Unstimulating Emblem (5) nal Fire losing Final Fantasy through 12. Lived (3) Tactics (3) multiplayer? is for hardly 16. God of War Albus’ from removed Borderlands 17. (4) ten top (4) buck a for Duty of Call selling Cracker 18. - and com handheld system 21. EVE having ACROSS DOWN 1. Relating to a king or queen (5) 1. Repeats in summary form (6) 3. Portions (5) 2. Consumed (3) 5. Astatine (2) 3. Caresses (4) EN SOUTH 8. Removes vermin (6) 4. Egyptian sun god (2) 10. Chinese mahogany trees (5) 6. Australian state (3) ACROSS DOWN 11. Barrier to retain water (3) 7. Seaweed (4) 1. Zany reward for guard (6) 1. Non-established waters for conflict (3) 12. Feint (4) 9. Grow back together (6) 5. Pipe dream, ultimately—? (2) 2. Emphysema's band leaders' intention to pay back (5) 13. Refunded (6) 10. Drank to excess (5) 7. Locked inside amphitheatre’s sediment? (7) 3. Source of meat is expensive according to report (4) 15. In the manner (2) 12. Far down from the top (4) 8. Ice/ecstasy edge initially (4) 4. Unveiled idea calmly—50% Ravenet's invention (5) Target 17. Pass an item to its recipient (7) 14. Molecule that carries genetic instructions (1,1,1) 10. Guest's last car sharing service is perhaps a 6. Room set up for, say, Othello (4) 18. Non-liquid fluid (3) 15. Partly open (4)

potato (5) 9. Terbium, uranium in a brass instrument (4) 22. Force by heavy blows (3) 16. Type of tea or coffee (5) 97 Tops!:

12. Surrounds expert with, for starters: pen, rubber, 11. A case I've overturned thanks to initial investigation 25. Label that is worn as ID (7) 19. Force someone to leave (4) 83 Desserts: mechanical pencil (5) losing station gin (9) 26. Thus (2) 20. Unit of weight for yarn (6)

14. Kooky flutters (4) 13. Xylene base foul; radium, lead more unpleasant (6) 27. Transfers a plant to another container (6) 21. Divide (4) 42 Stressed: 16. Rat, maybe, and nearly mail forms (6) 14. Evening aboard was terrible (3) 21 Spot: 34. Unit of measuring rapper (2) down quick? (4) 30. Sounds like the noise of a petrol fire - get 29. Defend right in cash (4) 28. Strike at two computer keys (4) 27. Ruler ruffled ermine, lost any say (4) 26. Crap. Shake and insert every attempt! (5) renew mortgage account (6) 23. Exposed; admits leaders of each domain top, (7) and dyed half? 20. Arranged hair, 'cause of grey hair, removed 19. Dispel notion about hedger? (5) 17. Jung’s spirit left a kind of magnetism (6) London Underground passenger? (5) 15. In France, you built extended railways first for Pepe reproduction (7) new14. Put covering on almost complete Rare 29. Surrounded (4) 23. Broadcast (3) 18. Identify second green tie (4) 15. Looked at speaker's pain (3) 31. Storage box (3) 24. Puts away (5) 20. Big bad, say, lady-killer (4) 17. Barrier not odd unit (3) 32. Cuts with small strokes (5) 26. Mistake (4-2) 21. Butchers prepare to update walls (7) 19. Buried in barrel, I ventured to return to life? (6) 33. Hidden (6) 28. Revise (4) 23. Lava outpouring reduced after first frost (4) 22. Introduction to emergency room and stage (3) 36. Negative (2) 30. Board and lodging (4) 24. Every other weak rod is dependent (4) 24. Right when angel shark is past (3) 37. Cease being awake (5) 32. Solar system's star (3) 26. Xenon removed from back axle and main dam- 25. Kindred heart initially avoided butterfly stroke (3) 38. Single-masted sailing vessel (5) 34. Snake-like fish (3) aged layer (6) 27. Stress from abstrusest neighbour (4) 35. Used by royals instead of I (2) 29. Antimony-coated thanks to attempt (4) 28. Glaciated, without origins of geological activity; it's 31. True odds removed limit for review (5) with added substance (5)

32. Refute last eligible bachelor's in rut (5) 30. It lifted energy stored in master's watch (5)

Week 13 quiz solutions: quiz 13 Week Magazine, PULP, 19 “*”, 20 Monday 25 July. 25 Monday 20 “*”, 19 PULP, Magazine,

33. UAE leader I’m backing in hesitation (4) 31. Latitude for leaderless revolution: for starters, over- Croatia, 2 two, Season 1

35. Sponge, say, last cactus in arid zone (7) throwing masters (4) BULL Recorder, Union The Bull, The Bulletin, The

ball Club, 16 White, red and green, 17 “And”, 18 18 “And”, 17 green, and red White, 16 Club, ball

36. Extremely mitigable chronic fatigue syndrome (2) 32. Plant head/root/seed/cutting first (4) 1pm 10 Four, 9 pers,

- Foot Melbourne South 15 Ukraine, 14 Hill, Castle -

37. Neither conclusion encourages decoupage, 34. Zero from fight replaced with a natural (3) Pep Chili Hot Red 8 six, Season 7 Line, scriber

Hill, 11 Australia, 12 Pistol and Boo, 13 Ultimo and and Ultimo 13 Boo, and Pistol 12 Australia, 11 Hill, -

rebatching and watercolour beginners to sketch Sub Digital Asymmetric 6 Titans, Coast Gold 5

QVB (1898, Central was 1906), 9 Reid, 10 Dulwich Dulwich 10 Reid, 9 1906), was Central (1898, QVB

again (6) Green, 4 colour, of woman a as identifies who Dog: 7

Design, 6 “Dive into the USU”, 7 Melons, 8 The The 8 Melons, 7 USU”, the into “Dive 6 Design,

kin, however, her singing voice is Lea Salonga, Salonga, Lea is voice singing her however, kin, Rats!: 14

at the end of 2011), 5 The Whitehouse Institute of of Institute Whitehouse The 5 2011), of end the at -

field, 2 Bella, 3 False – she is voiced by Linda Lar Linda by voiced is she – False 3 Bella, 2 field, Star: 24

Week 12 quiz solutions: quiz 12 Week - Ash and Annandale 1 Cyprus, Czech Republic, 3 Three, 4 True (it closed closed (it True 4 Three, 3 Republic, Czech Cyprus, God: 29 20 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 21 CULTURE PROFILE Inspired by Indigeneity How Kim Jong-il took down Michael Sun willingly desecrated the careful curation of his tweets to live-tweet an event

ast time I was at the Opera House – almost coal seam gas in the inner west exactly a year ago – I was watching Sufjan Stevens perform an ethereal soundscape Lthrough blurry, tear-stained eyes, and Eden Faithfull and Swetha Das spoke to a filmmaker trained in North Korean propaganda walked out into the harbour with renewed per- spectives. Homeground Talks inspired a similar change within me, albeit for a very different rea- son; one that boasted no 10-minute strobe-lit, reverberating, wall-of-sound guitar solos but n the West, it is all too easy to associate North one that incited cathartic epiphanies amongst its Korea with totalitarianism, nuclear warfare audience in its own way: intelligent and passion- and a repressive regime. Consistent with this ate, heated at times, but moderated with refine- Iperception, propaganda has been wielded by ment by incredible chair Dr. Romaine Moreton. Kim Jong-un and his predecessor Kim Jong-il as Moreton has a knack for teasing out the inter- a well-developed and effective tool to keep the play between the speakers’ ideas and posing masses in line with party policy and in adoration questions that are sometimes penetrative, always of their Supreme Leader. educational. This was never more evident than in Thousands of kilometres away in Sydney in Homeground Talks, which – over two sessions November 2010, residents of the city’s inner west – featured some of the Southern Hemisphere’s discovered that the New South Wales state gov- most recognised Indigenous activists, leaders, ernment had approved an exploration license to musicians, and creatives. drill for coal seam gas close to homes and schools Session 1 was aptly themed “Unfinished in St Peters. Paperwork: Recognition and Sovereignty”, top- Given the insufficient risk assessment and lack ical given the concurrence of the talk with the of communication with local residents, many anniversary of the 1967 referendum which Image: serpents” drew uproarious laughter but it was her the environment was a highlight of the night opposed the fracking plan by signing petitions, amended mentions of Aboriginal people in the Homeground conviction in her personal identity that ultimate- as she explained that despite valuing autonomy, rallying the government, and protesting on the Constitution. Michael Mansell, Secretary of the ly expressed her disdain for debates over treaties she felt mining was intrinsically opposed to the streets. This may not bear too many immediate Aboriginal Provisional Government, delivered and constitutional recognition. “There is no need spiritual significance her community assigned parallels with a tyrannical regime enforced by a a speech that included a welcome crash course to talk about sovereignty,” she remarked, “I am to the land. Langton, meanwhile, scrolled on her dictator like Kim Jong-il, but someone saw poten- in the ongoing dialogue regarding sovereignty in sovereign.” phone, occasionally sending piercing stares into tial in Jong-il’s “supreme innovation” to confront Australia and a logical basis for a treaty between However, the night did not escape the inevi- the crowd before accusing us of “portraying all the actions of an unresponsive government. Aboriginal communities and the government table drama that pervades all panel discussions, Indigenous people as idiots who can’t think for While heavily invested in protesting the frack- as a conduit for tangible negotiation. He was a and Moreton deserves applause again for navi- themselves”. ing plans, director, writer and flagrant anti-cap- refreshing, amicable voice that delivered his gating the palpable tension in Session 2 between Nevertheless, this minor controversy only italist Anna Broinowski finished reading Kim argument with seasoned ease and reasoning – Amelia Telford, Indigenous climate change activ- enhanced the lively debate of the audience and Jong-il’s manifesto, On Cinema and Directing, traits that were echoed in his fellow speaker and ist with Seed and the AYCC, and Marcia Lang- sparked dynamic interaction between panel- when a solution dawned on her. Maori activist Tame Iti, who urged us to listen to ton, chair of multiple Aboriginal-owned mining lists that I expected to see at such a politically “When you’re fighting a capitalist enemy the stories of the panel. companies. Their co-panellists’ discussions of charged event as Homeground Talks. There were on steroids, you get new weapons.” Broinowski Both men were engaging, but it was Rosalie music and agriculture in Indigenous cultures moments of lightness that punctuated an other- decided that this new weapon was filmmaking, Kunoth-Monks OAM who was the night’s abso- unfortunately fell by the wayside to centralise wise charged discussion and ultimately, I was left though not just any indie-enviro flick. She was lute tour de force, enticing the crowd’s utmost the question: should Aboriginal people, in their with a new appreciation and understanding of going to employ the lessons she had read about attention with her sobering reminders of the ownership of the land, be able to run mining the modern Indigenous framework in Austral- and, with the help of one of North Korea’s most continued need for change in this country. Quips operations that are environmentally damaging ia, and a new empathy for the struggles faced by prominent filmmakers, to create an anti-fracking like “they are not public servants, they are public to the land? Telford’s impassioned defence of Aboriginal communities in an apathetic society. propaganda film. Anna Broinowski is the only Western film- As her film developed, Broinowski sought advice Art: Brigitte tralian ambassador to South Korea and Anna’s maker in recent history to have gained access to from the country’s top propagandists. Although Samaha father, reminds us that threats by Kim Jong-il to the North Korean film archives. Unlike our most many of the images from the North Korean films the US are not the full story. “What the media exotic James Bond-esque fantasies, this was not a are idyllic and reminiscent of simpler times, leaves out is that he actually says more than that “The Golden 9 of Stuvac" simple task, and it certainly wasn’t a short wait. It it was difficult for local filmmakers to shift the each time. He says ‘we will nuke you if you fire took two years to be exact. awareness that they were indeed operating out at us’.” Mr Broinowski accuses the mainstream Ludmilla Nunell Broinowski was planning to create her own of a totalitarian state. “[You know, North Korea media, notably Rupert Murdoch’s empire, of propaganda film in retaliation to the NSW state has] the same number of surveillance people per adulterating the facts about North Korea, por- government’s fracking plans, and she wasn’t citizen as the Stasi.” traying them as the instigators of international going to take the easy route. Broiniowski was The purpose of Broinowski’s foray into North hostility. hoping that the film would mobilise the Aus- Korean propaganda, however, was not to be a A termination of a CSG license over Syd- tralian people to worship the unspoiled land conduit for Western curiosity and sensational- ney was finally announced in 2015 – action in Sydney Park, where young children, just like ism. The West’s manner of functioning was no that emerged as a result of the protests that first her daughter would often play. As North Korean different to the propagandist ideology prevalent began at a grassroots level across the city. With filmmakers are aware, propaganda has a pow- in North Korea. “By showing an Australian audi- this news in stride, Broinowski still speaks about erful effect on viewers through the use of clear ence the ham-fisted approach to propaganda by the lessons she has learnt from her time in North characterisation, evocative music and themes of North Korea, I could show them how we are also Korea, with her more recent talk being at the morality. fed propaganda on so many mainstream media Sydney Writers’ Festival. Broinowski arrived in North Korea in July outlets,” says Broinowski. Broinowski may have been unsuccessful in her 2012, ready to learn how to create a politically Though our politicians may have a lighter bid to end the use of coal seam gas in Australia as powerful film about coal seam gas. Broinowski touch, Western politics is in no way immune to a whole, though thanks to her efforts, there were says she was initially amused by locals’ responses falling back on often bigoted rhetoric. “I think small wins along the way. Sydney Park remains to her project. While explaining what coal seam populism on both the right and the left is inter- free of fracking, and she continues to espouse gas was, she was met with bewilderment about esting because capitalism is broken, and people her new awareness of the power of propagan- the government’s treatment of Sydney residents. are pissed fucking off,” says Broinowski. da across Australia, along with her trademark “Here are these people who we say live under this While it’s easy for pundits in the West to deride anti-capitalist spiel. brutal regime... but they were horrified for us.” the oppressiveness of the North Korean regime, Broinowski’s escape into a disconnected world Kim Jong-il’s use of propaganda in North the information we receive is often being spun provided more than just an anti-fracking prop- Korea is nothing short of brazen. Shooting using in an equally heavy-handed manner. Broinowski agandist film; it was an insight into the duality celluloid film and primarily relying on stagnant, contends that we in the West are being fed a singu- of dogma and fact. “Truth is a nuanced thing. long shots and post-recorded sound, some of the lar, one-dimensional image of the country. While The more truth you have, the more power you most recent North Korean "blockbusters" resem- North Korea chants its communist catch-call, and have.” She recalls the words of a North Kore- ble poorly produced spaghetti westerns. declares they must rise up against the oppressive an filmmaker about their country’s future, that “There is almost something magnificent about enemy, we laugh in response. We think it is only could very well describe our own: “There is stepping back in time into a culture that has they who live under an oppressive regime. a seismic shift coming. Go back to Australia and evolved without the internet,” says Broinowski. Richard Broinowski, former American Aus- tell them that.” 22 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 23 SRC CASEWORKERS The SRC is responsible for the content of this page. The SRC is responsible for the content of this page. SRC REPORT

universities around the coun- the university sector, gutting President try to share skills and cam- Co-General funding and seeking to take Welfare Officers Special Consideration: Applying, Rejections & Appeals Chloe Smith paign ideas and discuss the Secretary back your HECS even after April Holcombe, future of higher education in your death, something that will Isabella Brook, Australia. We’ll be holding Lachlan Ward impact those worst off in soci- Matthew Campbell, nder the University's new centralised It’s the last week of semester workshops and panels, hosting ety, most of all. Furthermore Dylan Williams and bureaucratic Special Considera- one – that winter break looks so high-profile keynote speakers, the government is committed So I guess we are at the end of tion process they are very focused on close and yet so far! Your SRC and engaging with some of the to slave labor with the PATH Semester 1, and therefore Geor- April Holcombe, Isabella students providing supporting docu- is finishing up on a busy note, key challenges facing our uni- program to employment, which U Generally the University gia and I are halfway through Brook, Matthew Campbell mentation to show that they were clearly not able with our final council meeting versities and tertiary students. when trialled in other countries our term as your General Sec- and Dylan Williams did not to do an assessment or study on a particular day will not grant Special for the semester happening this This is particularly relevant has been completely ineffec- retary. Over the last few weeks, submit a report this week. or days. Wednesday at 6pm. As usual, to all USyd students given the tive at reducing youth unem- Consideration outside or we have been crunching the If at all possible, ensure documents, such as all are welcome – especially if recently released Strategic Plan ployment. Coupled with the numbers and have finalised medical certificates, have specific start and end in excess of that covered you’d rather not watch QLD for 2016-2020 which outlines fact that the Liberal party still the SRC’s budget, ensuring that Sexual dates and include the date of the assessment. Be by days specified in the thrash NSW in the State of Ori- some major changes the uni- is not committed to action on our services and collectives are aware that certificates stating ‘ongoing’ in the date gin for the millionth time. versity management is hoping climate change, legislating for documentation. funded as effectively and effi- Harassment range may be rejected. Last week was busy as well, to implement, especially in light marriage equality, or any of the ciently as possible, in order to Generally the University will not grant Special with the SRC holding a film of the Federal Budget’s implica- other numerous policy flaws improve your SRC. I have also Officers Consideration outside or in excess of that covered screening of The Hunting tions for the sector. that they possess, there really been involved in assisting in by days specified in the documentation. We suggest you carefully read the University’s relation to the new centralised process for special Ground, a documentary about I strongly encourage as isn’t anything going for them with the organisation of the Olivia Borgese, Gina Don’t delay getting your assessment in as soon web pages on Special Consideration (http://syd- consideration and will be talking to the Universi- sexual assault and harassment many students as possible at this election. That’s why it’s National Union of Student’s Tran, Lorena White as you can, even if you’re waiting for a decision on ney.edu.au/current_students/special_consider- ty about this. on university campuses in to register to come along so important for you to have Education Conference, which Medina, Michelle Picone special consideration. ation/). If you wish to appeal, or you would like to pro- the US, followed by a panel and get more involved in the your say at the ballot box, and I this year is being held at USYD. Seek advice from an SRC Caseworker if you We also welcome any comments or feedback vide feedback about the new process you can con- including the Vice-Chancellor education campaign. Stu- strongly urge you to put the Lib- I expect it to be an informative Olivia Borgese, Gina Tran, have a specific concern about your documen- you have about your experience of the new spe- tact us at [email protected] or call 9660 5222 Michael Spence and one of the dents will be able to apply for erals last as it is where they are conference, consisting of speak- Lorena White Medina, and tation, or if you believe a Special Consideration cial consideration process. The SRC is aware that to book an appointment with an SRC Caseworker. SRC’s Women’s Officers, Anna equity grants to assist their already putting you and anyone er panels from politics, unions Michelle Picone did not sub- request has been unreasonably rejected. You can there are some real and significant problems in Hush. This is especially per- attendance at the conference else who is not a wealthy busi- and media, as well as sessions mit a report this week. appeal this decision. tinent given the recent media through both the SRC and ness owner. Finally, for your on activism and educational If you are unwell on the day of an examina- scrutiny around disrespectful NUS. Shoot me an email to exams, I wish you, good luck issues. Registration is closing tion apply for Special Consideration with a med- and sexist behaviour at our find out more or get in touch and hope you do your best! Discontinue rather than Absent Fail! soon, so feel free to look it up ical certificate that shows you are unwell on that colleges. The SRC will be con- with NUS via their website: Social Justice or contact general.secretary@ day. Get the certificate on or before the day of If circumstances arise and it becomes very clear If you discontinue because of severe circum- tinuing to hold the university http://www.nus.org.au/ usyd.src.edu.au to find out the exam, otherwise it may be rejected. There are that you will not be able to successfully complete stances beyond your control that arose or got to account on this issue and I wish everyone good luck Officers how to attend, with some equi- Wom*n of some doctors who do house calls if you can’t make a Unit or Units (even with Special Consideration) worse after the end of week 7 you may be eligible push for genuine change. with their final assessments ty places being available if you Kim Murphy & Jack it to a medical centre, such as the National Home we suggest you discontinue by the end of week 13 for a discontinue not fail (DC) result. Seek advice In other exciting news, and exams and hope you all have financial issues. Colour Officer Whitney, Lorena White Doctor Service. You must submit your applica- (Friday 3rd June) rather than take no action and from an SRC Caseworker if you want more infor- the SRC has been selected to have a relaxing break. We’ll With the federal election Medina & Michelle tion by the 3rd working day (11.59p.m. AEST ) then get an Absent Fail (AF) result. mation about DFs and DC applications. host the National Union of see you in semester two! Vanessa Song happening at the conclusion Picone after the assessment due date or sitting date of the If you discontinue after the end of week 7 (up If you’re experiencing difficulties at the Student’s annual Education of semester, keep in mind the exam. If exceptional circumstances prevent you to the end of week 13) your result will normally moment you can talk to an SRC Caseworker or Conference in July! This stu- Kim Murphy & Jack Whitney, current government’s attacks Vanessa Song did not submit a getting a certificate on the day or submitting an be a Discontinue Fail (DF) - this is a fail for ‘pro- access the University's support services which can dent-led conference is a great Lorena White Medina and on higher education. These report this week. application on time then seek advice from an SRC gression’ rule purposes but does not effect your be found on the University’s website. opportunity for students from Michelle Picone did not sub- have consisted of deregulating Caseworker. average (WAM) in the way an AF does. mit a report this week. Ask Abe IN A PICKLE? SRC caseworker HELP Q&A $ Dear Abe,

I feel a bit stupid asking this, but how can I tell if an email is genuine or a scam?

Happily Naïve

Criminal Charges Dear Happily Naïve,

There’s nothing stupid about asking for • Never use phone numbers provided Motor Vehicle Accidents help. The NSW Department of Fair Trad- with unsolicited requests or offers Fines ing gives these 10 rules: as it probably connects you to fakes CASH • Don’t respond to offers, deals or who will try to trap you with lies. ...FOR YOUR TEXTBOOKS! requests for your personal details. • Don’t reply to unsolicited text mes- Insurance • Never send money or give credit card, sages from numbers you don’t recog- Debts account or other personal details to nise. anyone who makes unsolicited offers • Always look up phone numbers in USE THAT CASH HOWEVER YOU LIKE, or requests for your information. an independent directory when you BUY OTHER TEXTBOOKS CHEAP FROM US, Immigration ...and more wish to check if a request or offer is • Don’t rely on glowing testimonials. OR GO BUY WHATEVER YOU WANT. • Never respond to out of the blue genuine. requests for your personal details. • Never dial a 0055 or 1900 num- If You Have a Legal Problem, • Always type in the address of the web- ber unless you are sure you know site of a bank, business or authority you how much you will be charged. We Can Help for FREE! are interested in to ensure you are log- ging into the genuine website. If you think you might be scammed contact Fair Trading as soon as you can. We have a solicitor • Don’t open unsolicited emails or click 法律諮詢 who speaks Cantonese, Level 4, Wentworth Building, University of Sydney 法律アドバイス on a link or an attached file provided in (Next to the International Lounge) Mandarin & Japanese Level 1, Wentworth Bldg, University of Sydney an unsolicited email as it will probably Abe p: 02 9660 5222 | w: src.usyd.edu.au Liability limited by This service is provided p: 02 9660 4756 | w: src.usyd.edu.au/src-books a scheme approved to you by the Students’ e: solicitor @ src.usyd.edu.au under Professional Representative Council, lead to a fake website designed to trick Standards Legislation. University of Sydney you into providing personal details. ACN 146 653 143 | MARN 1276171 24 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 HONI SOIT SEMESTER 1 • WEEK 13 25 SUPRA SUPRA is responsible for the content of these pages. SUPRA Be Excellent to Each Other The Postgrad Pages Kylee Hartman-Warren, SUPRA Co-President PRESENTED BY

I am writing my last entry for Honi Soit and element to the organisation, and thanks to his of student outlets we worked with over the year. I must say it has been an honour serving as previous work, has connected SUPRA with key Equally important, Ahmed and Fatima (Edu- Thank You and Goodbye co-President next to Council and the current figures at the USU and the SRC throughout the cation Officers) also worked hard to expand the executive. I have learned a lot this year, and I have year. I am grateful for his diverse insight to stu- Education and Outreach portfolio, and in doing Christian Jones, SUPRA Co-President reminisces on the 2015/16 Council term developed a great deal. This community has been dent representation. so, they created a place where students built rela- an important part of my postgraduate life and I I also want to thank Tom (Vice-President) for tionships with each other over the course of the cannot stress how much I will miss being a part of working hard to bring Academic Board Student year. Forough (Women’s Officer), Mike (Indig- My term comes to a close on the 30th of June and thank you Megan! good hands with her as head of our Admin team its vibrant engagement. enous Officer), Marguerite (Disability Officer), this is my final report for Honi Soit. It has been Throughout my time at the University, I have (heart emoticon). Both as the Director of Stu- This year SUPRA has seen a light of achieve- Dhaval (International Officer), and Libby (Rural a pleasure to serve as your Co-President for the had the opportunity to work with various student dent Publications and Co-President, I have had ments. For the first time in a while, SUPRA reg- I hope students continue & Regional Officer) also worked hard to postgraduate association at the University of Syd- leaders. However, none have excelled quite as the privilege of working closely with the Admin/ ularly released media statements. Additionally, develop networks for students within their equity ney. Postgraduates have faced many hurdles in much as the current University of Sydney Union Postgrads Pubs team consisting of Louise, Anthea and Ami- SUPRA supported students at faculty meetings this long established trend portfolios. I am grateful for Council for support- my term. We have seen the University stall and President, Alisha Aitken-Radburn. I have never ty over the past year. They have been a delight to and restructures, and worked diligently with USU ing us through the year, and volunteering at so waste time in discussions about their flawed stra- met anyone as dedicated to the student move- have work with, even when they massively cracked it at and the Academic Board Student Representatives. of student representation many of our functions where students have the tegic plan, systematic failing of international stu- ment and to student welfare as Alisha. I thank the me with my late submissions for Honi articles and I hope students continue this long established opportunity to connect. I am deeply appreciative dents by the Business School, and the Academic people of the University for Unleashing Alisha in faced for our other publications (every week, including trend of student representation at the University at the University of Sydney of the role our Staff and SLAAO teams play in Board remove the simple extensions policy and 2014, you have done a noble service to the Union this article). of Sydney and please continue to use SUPRA as a ensuring that we maintain meaningful activity at subsequently reinstate it due to the tireless work here at Sydney. many Our advocacy team has been very busy over community to do so. This representation is vital and please continue to use SUPRA and that we have the support to see this of student members of the board. Kyol Blakeney was the 87th President of the the past year, recording the highest number to the welfare and educational experience of post- activity carried through. Beyond pressuring University Management SRC and it was an absolute pleasure serving with hurdles of students requiring advice in the history of graduate students today and on into the future. SUPRA as a community to Finally and most importantly, thanks to each and achieving better results for postgraduates, we him. At any committee meeting, he was there to SUPRA. They have assisted our council in numer- To me, this year’s cross-campus successes and every one of you for allowing me to serve and have separately increased our efforts to ensure the provide a voice for students against management in my ous activities, including: briefings, media releases would not have been possible without the rela- do so for supporting SUPRA over the years. It has been experience for postgrads is exceptional. We have at any decision that may have impacted negatively and letters to numerous University management tionships many SUPRA councillors have built an honour. I wish everyone the best in the com- seen the highest turnouts for Wine & Cheese to students. In his outgoing months, he was still term staff and outside the university. They have gone with their fellow student colleagues. I want to Representatives together, and I am grateful for ing semester and remember to study hard, have since it began 3 years ago - a timely reminder of there to fight for the betterment of all students. In beyond the call of duty in my term and I am for- thank my co-President Christian, the USU and the opportunities that Kane (Secretary), Rachel fun and be excellent to each other. the importance of social engagement. Thanks to particular and along with Tom Greenwell, he was ever thankful. Adrian Cardinali has been a mag- the SRC for making this year’s collaborations pos- (Queer Officer) and Josh (Treasurer) brought to Very Respectfully - Kylee Hartman-Warren Vice-President, Thomas Greenwell for leading there to speak out when Simple Extensions were nificent Coordinator of our advocacy team and sible. Christian has brought a refreshing social SUPRA as they were connected with a number this effort. We held our first Postgraduate Ball under attack. has assisted in every endeavour I have taken with with the USU, an event that has not occurred since For the second half of my term, Chloe Smith SUPRA. His advice and assistance has been pivot- before Voluntary Student Unionism. This Ball was the strong independent woman who took al in our organisation for the better part of a dec- would not have been possible without the work of over in the SRC. I have seen some of the wonder- ade. Over the past year, he has always been there our Education Officers, Fatima Rauf and Ahmed ful work she has contributed and I know she will when I needed help and when students needed bin Suhaib and the USU Programs Department, keep up the fight in the coming months. In my his help. He always goes out of his way to help specifically Michael Sun and Eric Hunter. final days as Co-President, I will be co-hosting anyone who needed SUPRA’s help. The SAAO Government Plans to Scrap Free Opal Travel We launched the International Student Con- the NUS Education Conference with the SRC, the team have seen a huge spike in caseload in recent cession Campaign this year with the SRC, UTS- first time that a postgraduate association has been years and have taken it in their stride by imple- By Fatima Rauf, SUPRA Co-Education Officer SA, UNSW SRC, and NUS at an event held on involved with the conference in living memory. menting new intakes systems and maintaining a Eastern Avenue with The Hon. Jenny Leong and This would not have been possible without the positive approach to the organisation to reach the the DVC (Registrar) Professor Tyrone Carlin cooperation that has occurred over the past year very best outcomes for the students. Thank you Public transport in NSW is already very expen- there in support. This campaign is ongoing and with the SRC, USU and SUPRA. Adrian and the SAAO team! sive for many commuters and the NSW Govern- I encourage all students to sign the petition and To the 2015/16 SUPRA Executive, it has been Finally, I’d like to thank the postgraduate com- ment has delivered another blow by removing the help out with the campaign as international stu- a pleasure to work with you over this past year, munity for entrusting myself, the Executive, the free travel option on the Opal Card. Previously, dents are still discriminated against by this Baird particularly Treasurer, Josh Preece and Vice Pres- Equity Office Bearers, and this Council as their Opal Card users would only pay for 8 trips in a Government. The petition has over 5,000 signa- ident, Tom Greenwell, who have provided excel- representatives to the University. I’d also like to week after which all remaining travel for the week tures to date. lent leadership and stability to our organisation. say thanks to all the Equity OBs who served this would be free of charge. From 5th September When it comes to the University Manage- You have been with me throughout the year, term! You’ve been a pleasure to work with for 2016 onwards commuters will pay half-price on ment, we have to give some credit where it’s due. keeping me in line and keeping us from going the most part. You’ve all campaigned and advo- travel after 8 paid journeys each week. The free Tyrone in particular has made himself accessible bankrupt. Kane Hardy, for all the work you have cated for your constituents throughout the year travel option was an attractive incentive when and has been prompt in answering questions and done with our social media and attending and through activist events, network meetings and the Opal Card was first introduced in 2014 and responding to emails with an average response minuting meetings, Fatima and Ahmed, you have keeping people up-to-date with the latest infor- it appears now that it was a temporary measure time of 7 minutes. One such occasion was the day done a wonderful job running our campaigns mation. designed to make commuters switch to using the before the aforementioned campaign launch, he and events throughout the year. The ball wouldn’t I’ll end this article the way it began, Thank you Opal card over the paper tickets while the latter called from his sick bed 5 minutes after I sent an have happened if it weren’t for you! I thank each and Goodbye! have been gradually phased out. email and even came to the launch the next day, and every one of your for your hard work over The changes have been widely criticized by despite still being ill. I hope this constant line of the past year. I will miss all of you after this term. members of the public since it significantly communication with management will continue Last but not least, Kylee Hartman-Warren, my increases travel costs and makes taking public into the next SUPRA term. Co-President. She has worked with SUPRA for 4 transport a less viable option in comparison to The Academic Board has gone through a years now, finishing up her tenure as Co-Presi- driving, leading to further road congestion and number of changes over the past year. Firstly we dent. She developed SUPRA’s first Wine & Cheese traffic problems. Additionally, the changes will the recent changes: “the people who will be most Kaitlin Alexander, a Phd student at UNSW saw the retirement of Associate Professor Peter and has assisted in making it thrive over the years. significantly affect students, who regularly take affected by the proposed changes are the ones expressed disappointment with the changes McCallum from Chair of the Academic Board. A Sharing a presidency has been a unique experi- who are currently getting a raw deal. I’m talking being made to the Opal Card: “With the amount sad day for student representation on the board, ence. Kylee and I have had each other’s backs fares are already high for about international students who pay full fares of money the NSW government will be making but there is hope! Associate Professor Tony Mas- throughout the term, like when I was unwell and have limited discounts available to them. by getting rid of free travel after eight trips, why ters in his first few months has consulted with doing O-Week, one of our busiest periods of the students who are allowed to These students rely on the eight trips cap they get can’t they afford the much smaller expenditure of students monthly and has listened to the concerns year. Kylee worked long hours and took on coor- from Adult Opal. These fares are already high for extending student travel concessions to all stu- of students and I hope this will continue into the dination duties at short notice. only work a certain amount of students who are allowed to only work a certain dents, regardless of their nationalities?” she asked. future. He pioneered the “Student Report” as a The staff have been through a lot in the past amount of hours a week and are paying high tui- At this time, it is very important for students standing item within the Chairs report, which has year. We have gained two new staff this term. We hours a week and are paying tion fees. It is these students that will be affected to band together and protest the changes being given a consistent voice to students in the Aca- were disappointed to lose Pru Wirth to West- most by the proposed changes to Opal.” made. The Travel Concessions campaign is ongo- demic community. I’d also like to take this chance ern Sydney University but we pleased when an high tuition fees Since February, SUPRA has been involved ing and I urge all students to sign the petition and to thank Megan Kemmis from the University internal applicant, Louise Corney applied for and in a campaign to get transport concessions for support international students. Secretariat for all her hard work with the Board. ultimately moved into the role of Administration public transport to travel to universities. As it is, international students, along with other student Additionally, the ‘Rally for Fair Fares: Don’t She has been pivotal in ensuring student repre- Coordinator. Pru has been with SUPRA for over many students struggle to support themselves organizations. The campaign has received signifi- Scrap Free Opal Travel’ has been organized for 21 sentatives are informed about all things Academ- 5 years and has made us what we are today. She during university and the increase in fare is only cant support; the petition currently has over 5000 June 2016. Students are encouraged to attend the ic Board. She has been the go-to person with her has coordinated the publications and administra- going to further disadvantage them. signatures. However, the NSW Government has rally and demand affordable and equitable trans- wealth of knowledge about the University during tion of her offices perfectly. Louise began in the The group affected most by the changes, how- been uncompromising on this issue, as can be port. my term. On behalf of all Postgraduate students, position during what has been, at times, a tumul- ever, are international students. Ahmed Suhaib, demonstrated by the latest changes being made to tuous period. I know that I am leaving SUPRA in Co-Education Officer for SUPRA commented on the Opal Card. Blend

H O D O R Updates From The Alternative Ways War In Syria Curated To Tell Time In Trending Exclusively With Your Exam Without Bondage Enthusiasts: Law Library Books The Cursor Reviews Dolly Doctor: Top 5 Minion GIFs Tearing A Hole In We Wish This Government Discovered To Be Famous Art From Pregnancy Myths Victoria Zerbst knows how you like your news Time And Space Would Have More Self- Fake The Internet Adam Chalmers has a PhD in myths The war in Syria is #bad, but someone needs to By Bringing In A Restraint report on it. Today that brave person is me. Luckily, Jayce Carrano is also fake. We’ve had some complaints that our coverage in The 1. Athena being born from Zeus we can totally cushion being reminded of war Wristwatch Cursor neglects art, high art, fine art. Fine. We looked jizzing on Athenian ground crimes with these lovable GIFs. Let’s begin. The Law Library’s collection of volumes has some fine art up on the internet. Here is our review. Mary Ward has sold all of her Seiko Uni Students Wearing Boat been revealed as fake after a student mistakenly 2. Pasiphae birthing the shares knocked one over. Minotaur Shoes Actually Owns Boat With the advent of the “smartwatch”, the University Simon Carter, a ninth year law student, made 3. Hitler clones in South has decided it is best to ban even the dumbest of the discovery. “I saw a spare seat so obviously America watches from exam rooms. I start running but I skidded on some Modafinil 4. Withdrawal is as effective as How to Hack Someone’s packaging and knocked a book off.” condoms But, how can a student with a surname in the latter half of the alphabet expect to read the face of a Facebook Oh Wait This Carter said that when he picked up the volume 5. The virgin birth of Christ tiny clock some 2km away from their seat? Here he noticed it was too light to “contain the dense are some alternative time-telling tools you can Isn’t Google burden of justice”. Via GIPHY bring into your exam to make sure you don’t fall off course: The Cursor has subsequently been informed that Okay! So, there is still heaps of fighting in northern all three thousand law tomes are in fact empty Rice This is art. The symmetry here is really good and Syria. But who is fighting who? On one side we 1. An hourglass. OPINION: Small Fish in Bubbles boxes painted brown to look like books. this is obviously about feminism. Are we still broad Government Interns have a Kurdish-led coalition of armed groups. On now, pretentious fucks? Are we still pandering to the other we have ISIL AKA Islamic State of Iraq 2. A sundial. A Big Pond Says ‘This When approached for comment, a librarian told the anti-intellectuals with our memes and short Leaving to Join and the Levant AKA ISIS. The Cursor, “Shhh!”. paragraphs? It just makes the words easier to read. 3. An old man who only has 180 minutes (plus 30 Is Spacious’ Street Gangs But what’s this? The Syrian Democratic Forces minutes reading time) to live. A spokesperson from the University’s Law Faculty (SDF) are US-backed AND they have taken control said, “Oh god I admit it all. The snapping, crackling Jayce Carrano is at it again, this time with of four villages near the town of Ain Issa, about 4. The wife of an old man who only has 180 and popping went on for days. Our students never some jokes about gangs. 60km from Raqqa. Look at these minions. minutes (plus 30 minutes reading time) to live. Cowboys Edge Out Raiders touched the damned books. What was the point [Author’s note: this will probably be more effective, in buying real ones? I would have gotten away A report has revealed that hundreds of government as her cries will intensify in the final ten minutes of In Tantric Sex Encounter with it too if it weren’t for that meddling skid.” interns are quitting to work in street gangs. A your exam, and she will likely let out a harrowing recruiter for the Bandidos told The Cursor that scream as her husband takes his final breath that This truth-bomb comes just weeks after Sydney government workers were particularly sought after will alert you to when time is up!] University’s famous Quadrangle building was because of their experience in organised crime. + This election is EVERYTHING discovered to be a plaster façade taken from a Harry Potter themed school play. Samuel Lucas, 21, recently joined the Coffin I don’t want to gender this face. It is a BROODING. Cheaters after leaving his position in Canberra. face. Sad, sad face painted with paint, is this high “My new boss is a good bloke. He’s offed a few The Qursor Quiz: Are You More culture? It has texture and lines and is miserable. people but at least I know those ones deserved Are we still an immature, child publication? Are we? it, hey? Couldn’t say that when I worked in the Via GIPHY Sydney or Melbourne? Department of Immigration.” OMG so cute! But wait...it looks like there has been Which one of these ungodly cities are you? Find out in this quiz by Oliver Moore Mr Lucas estimated that he receives approximately an attack on a strategically significant airbase in $7.80 per hour – well ahead of the national average central Syria used by Russian forces. Was it Islamic for a paid intern – as well as discounts in gang State? Journalists seem to think so. 1. Which weather phenomenon most 5. What is your favourite love song? protected stores such as Rip Curl and Boost Juice. accurately describes your emotional state? Also, the Kurdish-Arab alliance announced that (a) Something by Celine Dion or Michael Bublé Jane Dyson, 24, also recently became a they will be launching a military campaign against (a) Super sunny! (b) The glorious whisper of a tram whistling towards gangbanger. She said her new position involved IS north of Raqaa. OMG guys minions are adorable. (b) Constantly changeable me is the only love song I need a lot more “honest work” than writing media releases for the Department of the Environment. 2. How do you like your coffee? 6. In your opinion, what major design flaws do most trams have? Shock! Horror! The human condition stretched on “I was part of the team that lobbied the UN to (a) Single origin, roasted on site canvas! A classic painting from the internet and it remove Australia from the UNESCO climate (b) Takeaway only, so I can drink it on the tram (a) Not enough seats better make us look ENGAGED with CULTURE. change report. Once you’ve done something like (b) How dare you insinuate that my beautiful tram that, hustling is nothing.” 3. What time do you like to finish your could be flawed! They are perfect in every way! evening out? Shame on you! Louise Lucas, Mr Lucas’ mother and the spokesperson for Mothers of Reformed Delinquents (a) 1.30am, when lockout kicks in MOSTLY A: said the trend was welcomed by parents. 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I like how it is grey Michael Parmegiani, who clearly had an Italian on both sides and is about different times of the name, was also approached for comment but day. I have seen this painting many times. It is refused to tell us which mafia crime family he LOAD MORE famous, that’s how I know it is good. FUCK. was affiliated with. TRANSPORT INFO: Fill in the form at http://tinyurl.com/nswact-sos-2016 CONTACT: Maushmi Powar, [email protected] or 0415 747 454