Th e New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, October 16, 2015 — Page 1 First Class U.S. The New Hampshire Gazette Postage Paid A Non-Fiction Newspaper Vol. CCLX, No. 2 The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ • Editor: Steven Fowle • Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle Portsmouth, N.H. Permit No. 75 October 16, 2015 PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 • [email protected] • www.nhgazette.com Address Service Requested

Th e Fortnightly Rant Another Fine Predicament A fortnight ago, there was a in history as a partisan charade plan. John Boehner would spend actually intended to hobble a his fi nal month as Speaker per- challenging political opponent, forming certain House-keeping Mr. Won’t-Be-Speaker. chores, so as, in his words, not McCarthy’s injudicious use of to “leave [his] successor a dirty language is only one, and perhaps barn.” (Befi tting a man of his the least, of the possible reasons humble origins, Boehner was be- for his withdrawal from the race ing modest; as it is presently con- for the Speakership, though. stituted, cleaning up the House Much as we hate to sully these would be a Herculean task.) pages with lewd rumors of erot- Kevin McCarthy would then be ic shenanigans, the Republican elected Speaker, and Congress Party plays a large role in civic af- would go on about its business. fairs, and therefore that is some- To quote Rick Perry, “Oops.” times often perennially necessary. Boehner’s impending retire- On October 6th, Rep. Walter B. ment had come as a bit of shock, Jones [R-N.C.] circulated a let- despite being widely anticipat- ter among members of his caucus ed. McCarthy’s renunciation asking any candidates for a lead- of a likely Speakership came as ership position to withdraw from more of an earthquake — or per- the pending election if they have haps a Sharknado. In retrospect, committed any misdeeds that though, his non-election to that might embarrass themselves, the post seems almost inevitable. Party, or the House. Th e position, after all, is called Th e Washington Examiner re- World’s Most Successful E-mail ligious fanatics to have veto pow- House: So therefore, Vice Pres- “Speaker.” ported on Jones’ letter the fol- Harasser” who “has mocked er over its choice of Speaker. ident Cheney for Speaker.” Words can be seen as useful lowing day, noting that Rep. Bob those who try to unsubscribe One more factor might have Having failed to cho ose a tools; infi nite, varied, and precise; Livingston [R-La.] — who had and seemingly has no bounds to doomed McCarthy: the re- Speaker, and with yet another capable of being assembled into been about to assume the Speak- the language he will employ in verse-Midas touch of Dick “Still debt ceiling looming, the House, complex structures conveying ership — resigned in 1999 after exhorting conservative and Re- Dick” Cheney. Th e man who and the Senate, then proceeded magnifi cent thoughts. Th ey can smut peddler Larry Flynt threat- publican offi cials to take a harder assured the nation in 2003 that to go on recess. also be treated as random lumps ened to reveal the sordid details stance against President Obama, Saddam Hussein had nuclear Meanwhile, back on Planet of language which any fool can of an extramarital aff air. particularly over the matter of weapons said, on the night be- Earth, scientists say an anom- throw around willy nilly until his First thing the next morning, abortion.” Baer backed Sen. Rick fore McCarthy’s withdrawal, alous “cold blob” in the North arm gets tired. McCarthy seems according to the Huffi ngton Post, Santorum in 2012, but has since “Kevin McCarthy is the person Atlantic, off the southern tip of to take the latter approach, which McCarthy received an email concluded that “Santorum is tied we need as Speaker in these dan- Greenland, suggests that we may may be how he came to utter his from Steve Baer, a Republican to international abortion sub- gerous and important times.” have fi nally succeeded in slowing famous Benghazi!!! gaff e. fundraiser from Chicago. Th e sidies via his ties to the Global Sen. Tom Cotton [R-Ark.] the current known as the At- “Everybody thought Hillary subject line read, “Kevin, why Fund.” seems to regard wrongness the lantic Meridional Overturning Clinton was unbeatable, right? not resign like Bob Livingston?” A cursory search of the Con- way Mark Twain did whiskey: Circulation, with dire potential But we put together a Benghazi!!! Correlation may not imply cau- stitution reveals that while the “Too much of anything is bad, consequences for the climate. special committee, a select com- sality, but four hours later Mc- Founding Fathers (hallowed be but too much good whiskey is Current Republican thinking mittee. What are her numbers Carthy threw in the towel. their names) intended for the barely enough.” Politico report- seems to be — pardon the oxy- today? Her numbers are drop- Steve who, from where? You House of Representatives — ed Monday that Cotton had told moron — that cleaning up Au- ping. Why? Because she’s un- may well ask. fi rst-named branch of the gov- them, “I think House leadership gean Stables is gummint work trustable.” According to a 2013 National ernment they planned — to be experience really matters. And and should, therefore, be left to Way to expose the fourth-lon- Review article, Baer is a “Con- its central body, they made no as you know the Speaker doesn’t someone who actually believes in gest Congressional investigation servative Mega-Donor [and] the provision for wealthy, obscure re- have to be a member of the such things. And that ain’t them.

Th e Alleged News® Th is Time It’s Harry’s Turn Republican Party Chairman Re- Or maybe he just doesn’t give a cloaked itself in righteous indig- “Hassan should demand his po- hy got in a good lick, leading his ince Priebus got his fair share damn anymore. He is retiring in nation and picked up its cudgel. litical operation stop meddling piece with this: of abuse in our last issue for just over a year, after all. “As disgraced former Senate in New Hampshire elections and “Nevada, land of casinos and speaking disrespectfully about Conan the Barbarian famously Majority Leader Harry Re- refuse any future support for her legal prostitution, ‘demonstrates New Hampshire’s First in the stated that the best thing in life is id’s handpicked candidate for campaign.” what America is all about’ more Nation™ Presidential Primary to “crush your enemies, see them the United States Senate….” Hassan did call Reid’s com- than the fi rst-in-the-nation pri- Election®. Th is time around it’s driven before you, and to hear began a statement from State ments “as insulting as they are mary state, Senate Democratic Harry Reid’s turn. the lamentation of their women!” Chair Jennifer Horn. We’re not wrong,” and said “an apology Leader Harry Reid said Monday “I was always terribly upset For New Hampshire political sure what qualifi es Reid as “dis- would certainly be appropriate,” night.” about how we were choosing junkies, it’s hearing politicians graced.” Sure, he’s from a state &c., &c. She could not have sat- Having given Priebus the ana- our Presidents,” the Senate Mi- from other states gripe about our where prostitution is illegal, but isfi ed the New Hampshire GOP, gram treatment a fortnight back nority Leader said Monday in Primary. so what? It’s not like he’s David though, if she had called for Re- [Ruins Epic Beer], we had to do Nevada. “You go to New Hamp- Of course, when someone ac- Vitter, the Louisiana Senator id’s head on a pike. Reid, as well. We came up with shire, there’re not any minorities tually challenges our place in the who … well, just Google Vitter, On Tuesday morning a GOP Dire Harry, which seems ap- there — nobody lives there. You electoral process it’s like Brigid prostitute, and diapers. operative with a video camera propriate for a guy with a bit of go to Iowa and there are a few O’Shaughnessy shooting Miles Horn’s statement goes on to ambushed Hassan at the corner the honey badger in him. When people there but again, it’s a place Archer in Th e Maltese Falcon — demand that Hassan “immedi- of Bow and Market Streets in confronted on Tuesday with that does not demonstrate what you’re supposed to do something ately denounce these harmful Portsmouth. Following the Par- all the dudgeon he’d raised, all America is all about. … I don’t about it. Exactly what depends comments [blah blah blah],” as if ty’s money line, the un-named Dire Harry had to say was, “New mean to denigrate New Hamp- on your party. that might not occur to her. op asked, “are you going to accept Hampshire is heavily populated shire or Iowa, but they shouldn’t Reid being a Democrat, and a At this point she starts buying Senator Reid’s fi nancial backing and loaded with a lot of minori- be the ones choosing who’s going supporter of Democratic Gover- lottery tickets. Citing “the fi nan- after the way he insulted New ties, my apologies.” to be President.” nor Maggie Hassan in her 2016 cial backing of a Washington Hampshire?” Hassan’s fl ak catch- Perhaps that exercise band hit run for the Senate, the New politician who openly advocates er brushed him off . Th e Alleged News® him harder than anyone thought. Hampshire GOP Chair instantly against” the Primary, she says Th e Union Leader’s Dan Tuo- to page two Page 2 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, October 16, 2015

Dr. Priebus’s Medicine Show Th e Impossible Dream, One Hopes Th e merry band of candidates probably become the Speaker of for the Republican Presiden- the House. Nobody else seems to tial nomination are carrying on, want the job. apparently undeterred by the Th at would require him, escalating chaos among their though, to give up his fondest colleagues in Congress — even hallucination: the heels of his Calgary-born Rafael Edward cowboy boots resting on the desk “Ted” Cruz. in the Oval Offi ce. It must be Cruz has shown, on a number hard, being ambitious. of occasions, an unseemly inter- J. Edgar “Jeb!” Bush, on the est for a Senator in the goings-on other hand, is clearly getting rat- of the other, lesser Chamber. His tled — not by the looming gap in allies there, of course, are the for- the No. 2 spot in the line of Pres- ty or so members of the Freedom idential succession, but the spec- Caucus. He huddled with them tre of his own dwindling chances before they forced the 2013 of becoming Bush #45. government shutdown, and on How desperate is “Jeb!”? Th e several other occasions when ob- New York Times reported Oc- stinacy reigned. If he decided to tober 4th that he’s considering make a move for it, Cruz could campaigning in South Carolina

with — George W.[MD] Bush. could have stopped the Wehr- Among these people were the Can things really be that bad? macht if they’d only had enough Millerites, followers of William Yup. In a straw poll held in guns. Miller, who convinced several Nashua October 7th, Bush came Th e solution to random gun hundred thousand people that in somewhere near dead last. violence, he says, is for everyone Jesus Christ would return to Even “Honest Gil” Fulbright to charge towards the shooters. Earth the night of October 22nd, got more votes, and he isn’t even What shall we do about the 1844. Many sold their houses a real candidate but an actor debt ceiling? Just say no. and farms and gathered on hill- named Frank Ridley, who was Global warming? Th e climate’s tops to wait. His failure to do so hired by Represent.us, an an- always changing; it’s no big deal. became known as “Th e Great ti-corruption non-profi t. To be In the face of so much blithe Disappointment.” fair, “Fulbright’s” stump speech defi ance of objective, everyday One branch of disappointees was pretty good. Sample line: reality, it may be time to ask if was later persuaded by Rachel “Ask not what your country can there could be a connection to Oakes Preston, of Washington, do for you, pay a lobbyist to ask Carson’s faith. New Hampshire [shown here], Most members of the general public assume, despite mountains of evidence your country what it can do for He is a Seventh-Day Ad- that Saturday, not Sunday, to the contrary, that certain institutions have internalized the Flag Code you.” ventist, a religion whichh wwas the day of the Sab- to such an extent that they are virtually incapable of committing an infrac- Unlike Bush, Dr. Ben Carson holds some unusual be- bath. For reasons not tion — which is why we need the Flag Police. Offi cer Pauly, of the Loudon continues to do extremely well in liefs. And, wouldn’t you terribly clear to us, that Division, is now conducting an investigation to determine whether the the polls. Carson has a number know it, it started right distinction was import- New Hampshire Motor Speedway on Rt. 106, attendees at the latest mon- of advantages, given the tastes here in New Hampshire. ant. strous spectacle there, or the owners of the site of the former Loudon VFW of today’s Republican electorate: During the 1840s, the Th e little white clap- Post bear any responsibility for this pathetic display of Old Glory. he has never held elected offi ce, internet not having been board church she attend- and he is not afraid to say some- invented yet, many peoplee ede still stands, and is in thing completely crazy in a very developed a great interest in use today. Th e church now soft-spoken way. theological questions which now claims to have 18 million adher- According to Carson, Jews seem rather quaint and obscure. ents.

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Federalism At Work Alabama: “No I.D. for You!” Alabama Republicans, in or- times as many as the U.S. Con- der to preserve inviolate the in- stitution; and it eff ectively re- estimable sanctity of the voting duced the number of black voters booth and protect the state for- by 98.4 percent. ever against a rampant wave of In 2013, fi ve Justices of the Su- voter fraud — evidence of which preme Court (including all four has yet to be found — passed a known to be members of the stringent Voter ID law in 2011 Federalist Society) decided that requiring certain specifi c types the time had come to let bygones of government-issued photo be bygones. Th ey threw out the identifi cation: a driver’s license, a preclearance provision of the state-issued voter ID, U.S. mili- 1965 Voting Rights Act. tary ID, &c. On September 30th, with the Th e law did not go into eff ect new Voter ID law in full eff ect, right away. It was held up by the the State of Alabama announced Voting Rights Act of 1965 which that it was closing 31 offi ces of required Alabama, among other the Motor Vehicle Division. As states, to get Federal preclear- it happens, the majority of the ance of any new election laws. closings were in majority-black, Th at restriction had been put in Democratic-voting counties. place due to Alabama’s history of As Birmingham News colum- blatant black voter suppression. nist John Archibald wrote, “Ev- In the year 1900, with the ery single county in which blacks eff ects of Reconstruction still make up more than 75 percent lingering, the state had some of registered voters will see their 180,000 eligible black voters. driver license offi ce closed. Every Annoying New World In 1901, an extraordinary new one.” State Constitution was adopted: ≈≈≈ When Überoids Attack Pester it contains 340,000 words, 40 Th ere was a time in this city Th e new rules fi nally went into for infringing on the rights of when, if you chose to take an al- eff ect on September 17th, requir- Über drivers. Naturally there’s a ternative to a cab, the ancillary ing Überoids to pass criminal website behind all this activity — benefi ts included the soothing background checks and provide “Free Uber.” On the site’s “Activ- sound of horses’ hooves, the fra- proof of commercial insurance. ism Dashboard” it brags in red grant aroma of their digestive Local Überoids immediately letters, “FREE UBER makes top byproduct, and the unintention- commenced to ignore them. story at the Portsmouth Herald! al comedy of imaginative com- One week later, September … TWO DAYS in a row!” plaints about animal abuse from 23rd, two Überoids made it to On Sunday afternoon, Octo- irate members of PETA. the front page of the AWLD, ber 4th, local Überoids held a Th en came Silicon Valley en- still driving, still out of compli- downtown Litter-a-Th on: half a trepreneur Travis Kalanick, and ance, and still casting themselves dozen people showed up to plas- his brainchild, Über. Now al- as the valiant victims of a cabal of ter another wave of their self- ternatives to taxicabs seem to statist thugs.* pity posters on City property. require interminable Taxi Com- Th e following day a Man- Th anks to “Free Über,” we know mission and City Council meet- chester lawyer earned some free that they’re being paid for this ings, repetitious stories in the publicity by telling the AWLD vandalism — in Bitcoins. If our Award-Winning Local Daily that he’d be suing Portsmouth calculations are correct, at the [AWLD], and posters on every rate applicable on Tuesday, each light pole in the downtown area. * Th e article demonstrated yet again the individual eyesore earns the perp Über blew into town around ineptitude of parent company GateHouse $0.24. Media’s Design Center in Austin, Texas. It Our Wandering Photographer fortuitously happened to stroll through the fi rst of the year. For as long was accompanied by two photos, on pages While Überoids feverishly ug- Market Square on Sunday, October 4th, just as the local pod of Überoids as it takes a baby to gestate, it one and ten. Both photos showed the same lify the City for peanuts, Travis were staging their latest psychodrama. Th e vested gent standing on the left and the City argued over rules. two men, but in diff erent positions, left and Kalanick is sitting at #80 on the right. As it so often does, Austin used the is one of the leaders. Th e camera-wielder is most likely an Überoid, a jour- Meanwhile, local Überoids op- same caption on both photos, so in one case Forbes 400 list, with a net worth nalist, or an anthropologist. erated at an advantage over cabs. it’s wrong, but there’s no telling which one. of $6 billion. Page 4 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, October 16, 2015

Regardless of what may have I. A person is guilty of a class been in any politician’s mind, B felony if: (a) He promises, of- Hate Mail Trump’s statements make it clear fers, or gives any pecuniary ben- Mash Notes, that his intention was always the efi t to another with the purpose violence epidemic. In fact, as Mr. ble safety measures. How many bribing of public offi cials — to of infl uencing the other’s action, Kristof points out, we can learn more lives must be lost before give them money in return for decision, opinion, recommenda- from the public health actions our elected representatives dis- future favors. tion, vote, nomination, or other taken to reduce car crash deaths play some political courage and It’s my impression that such exercise of discretion as a public and apply the same logic to re- stand up for life? bribery is still against the law — servant, party offi cial, or voter. ducing gun violence. Rich DiPentima and that Trump’s own statements On 8/6/14, Trump gave $2500 He states, that as a result of Portsmouth, N.H. constitute a public admission of to “NH for Scott Brown.” government regulation on both ≈≈≈ guilt. I’m sure he’s given money On 3/31/14, Trump gave the car drivers and the vehicle it- Say “No” to the Pipeline to a bunch of New Hampshire $1000 to “Friends of Frank self, death rates from car crashes To the Editor: Prosecute Trump for Bribery? politicians, and has thus commit- Guinta.” have been reduced by 95 percent. I am a New Ipswich resident. I To the Editors: ted his crime in our state, giving Now you have the informa- Sensible laws to prevent and en- have property, but not along the I like your paper, and pick up you jurisdiction. tion about when payments were force impaired driving were put proposed pipeline route or near a copy whenever I can (being, Will you charge and prosecute made. Trump’s public statements into eff ect, we licence drivers, the compressor station. My fel- unfortunately, too poor to sub- this criminal? indicate that they were “made seatbelts, airbags, padded dash- low neighbors have a more im- scribe). I think you’ve been a little If I need to fi ll out some forms with the specifi c purpose of in- boards, safety glass, and collaps- mediate burden to bare. I have bamboozled by the Palestinian to get this going, please let me fl uencing a public offi cial.” ible steering columns and ABS the ill feeling, in the pit of my PR machine, but, otherwise, your know. I’m willing. Will you now charge him with brakes have been installed in cars stomach, of a force, an insidious paper presents a reliably pret- [Deputy Attorney General a class B felony? If not, why not? to reduce deaths and serious in- invasion, that is taking over our ty-sane point of view. Keep up Ann M. Rice to Fischler:] Th anks for your attention. jury. country and now comes to our the good work! Th ank you for taking the time Paul Fischler He also advocates for sensible state and my town. Th is gas fl ow- Anyway, I thought you might to email us. Rochester, N.H. gun safety laws and “smart gun” ing through the pipeline, from its be interested in the correspon- You are correct that bribery ≈≈≈ safety technology that can be origins in the ground to the now dence below, in which I’m trying is a crime in New Hampshire. Apples, Oranges, & Guns added to guns, as has been done hideous method used to extract to get the New Hampshire At- Here is a link to the Bribery stat- To the Editor: with cars to reduce gun violence. it, and the damage to human life, torney General to charge Donald ute: http://www.gencourt.state. In the October 4th Sunday Such action would include; animal life, our air and water, is Trump with bribery. nh.us/rsa/html/LXII/640/640- New York Times, two statistics in universal background checks, like a sick virus that is feeding on I haven’t yet received a reply to 2.htm. In order to prosecute a a commentary by Nicholas Kris- tighter regulation on gun deal- people and our land in order to my email of September 30. I’m person for bribery, it is neces- tof put the insanity of Ameri- ers; safe storage requirements in stuff the pockets of the few. Th e curious to see what will come of sary to identify when a payment ca’s gun violence into startlingly homes and a 10-year prohibition damage and lives aff ected start at this. was made and to whom, and to clear perspective. Th e fi rst, since on possessing guns for anyone the source where the drilling and Paul Fischler demonstrate that it was made 1970, more Americans have died convicted of domestic violence, “fracking” occur, continue along Rochester, N.H. with the specifi c purpose of in- from guns than died in all U.S. assault or other violent crimes. the pipeline route, to the com- [Fischler to Attorney General fl uencing a public offi cial. Even wars going back to the American Guns can be required to have pressor stations, and fi nally come Joseph Foster:] assuming Mr. Trump was public- Revolution. Approximately 1.4 technology that allows a gun to our way to New England. In his presidential campaign ly admitting to having done so, million war deaths since 1775, be fi red only with a PIN or fi n- Many people do not realize announcement, his statement, standing alone, is versus 1.45 million gun deaths gerprint, microstamping shell the damage and waste that is asserted that rich people and not a suffi cient basis under the since 1970, (including homi- casings to allow tracing back to produced by this entire process, lobbyists were routinely “buying” law to bring a criminal charge cides, suicides and accidents). a particular gun, and we can re- which Kinder Morgan’s website politicians and making them into against him. As a general mat- Th e second, more American pre- quire liability insurance for guns falsely calls an “Environmentally “puppets.” He asserted that he ter, this offi ce will not initiate schoolers are shot dead each year as we do for cars. Friendly Fuel.” We need to wake knew this because he had been a criminal investigation unless (82 in 2013) than police offi cers All of the above are reason- up to the lies being told to us. one of the rich guys making such there is a factual basis to estab- in the line of duty (27 in 2013). able actions that can help reduce Th e gas pipeline companies also “contributions” and extracting lish that a crime was committed. (CDC, FBI) the toll of gun violence without have been wrongfully exempt his desired quid pro quo. Absent additional information, As Mr. Kristof points out, gun interfering with the rights of from the Clean Air and Clean He told this story (then, and Mr. Trump’s statement does not advocates respond to these sta- responsible gun owners. Howev- Water Acts, so they are under no many times since) to show off reach that level. tistics with the mantra that car er, as long as we have people in pressure to regulate what gases that the knows the way things I hope this information is accidents kill more people than Congress like Sen. Kelley Ayotte, and toxins are let off into the en- really work, to disparage the helpful. guns every year, should we ban who oppose even the most com- vironment. other candidates who were/are [Fischler to Deputy Attorney cars? No, we should not ban cars, mon sense gun safety legislation, New Hampshire will not ben- begging from billionaires and to General Rice:] and it would be impossible and the toll of gun violence in Amer- efi t from this, fi nancially or any prove that, because he’s rich and Th ank you for your reply ... and impracticable to ban guns, but ica will continue unabated. It is other way. Please call or write to not in need of their money, he’ll the link to the Bribery statute. that does not mean we should way past time to end this gov- the Governor, Executive Coun- be corruption-free. Th e Bribery statute says: do noting in the face of the gun ernment paralysis on gun sensi- cil, state and federal representa-

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sense to identify and educate the And Other Correspondence marginal folks. Th at way, we ei- ther bring them into the fold or ON SCREEN@ tives and urge them to see this escape [those issues] must be declare them 4F and boot them THE MUSIC HALL for what it really is: a problem, addressed — not with prolonged off New Hampshire’s metaphys- not a solution. isolation, but using it sparingly, ical militia before anyone gets The Music Hall Film Club: MACBETH (1948) Mark Hutchings when warranted. hurt. Tue., October 20 • 7pm • Loft New Ipswich, N.H. Th e good news is that States However, there’s one more ≈≈≈ and jurisdictions are beginning thing we need to do fi rst. New End Solitary Confi nement to implement policy changes on Hampshire voters need to paste To the Editor: alternatives to solitary confi ne- a one-way ticket to Abu Dhabi We have consigned over ment. on every politico running for of- 80,000 in federal and State pris- Michael Kulla fi ce who honestly believes there’s Wildcard Movies: ons and thousands more in jails, Pleasant Valley, NY money to be made or votes to 19 followed by 12 zeros it looks THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING Tue., October 20 • 7pm • Historic Theater juvenile facilities, military pris- ≈≈≈ be garnered by supporting the like this: $19,000,000,000,000. ons, etc. to conditions that hor- Shootings Don’t “Just Happen” NRA’s wild-west nonsense. Fact Has anyone in America’s Th ree rifi ed our highest court a century To the Editor: is, the NRA could easily quell Stooges leadership realized what ago. In July, President Obama Here we go with yet another the public’s jittery nerves over all this regime change madness became the fi rst president to vis- round of political blah-blah- “gun control” and make a ton is causing? Th ousands have been it a U.S. prison and to question blah over gun control, most of it of money at the same time by killed, millions are fl eeing, anar- the use of solitary confi nement predestined to go nowhere. As a sponsoring national certifi cation chy has been the result. And what Extraordinary Cinema: GRANDMA starts Wed., October 21 • 7pm • Historic Theater (heretofore, political suicide). long-time gun owner, it makes training. If only they weren’t so does President Barack Obama If prolonged isolation is, as my teeth itch because I view in- busy playing politics and shoot- have to say about Syria — “As- research and experience have discriminate shooting-suicides ing themselves in the foot! sad must go!” Does Obama even confi rmed, horrifying and in- as a public safety problem rather Rick Littlefi eld think what will happen if Assad trinsically cruel, how do we run a than a topic for political debate. Barrington, N.H. goes? Seems the likely vacuum of prison system that subjects more Face it, if we drive a car, fl y a ≈≈≈ Assad going will be fi lled by an Wildcard Movies: of our own citizens to it than any plane, install LP-gas lines, or do He’s Fed Up With Blowback ISIS Caliphate shared with Al ROGER WATERS’ THE WALL other country in history? just about anything involving a To the Editor: Qaeda. Thu., October 22 • 7pm • Historic Theater Solitary exerts a terrible price, potential risk to others, society Remember the comedy act of Last week, Russia began causing disorientation, crushing rightfully asks us to demonstrate the Th ree Stooges? Moe, Larry bombing ISIS and Al Qaeda and the human spirit, and forcing competence and obtain some sort and Curly were the characters other terror groups in Syria. In- many to self-mutilate and sui- of license or certifi cation. Cull- who, no matter what they did, credibly, all we hear is negative cide. In this cramped space few ing out unqualifi ed practitioners it would always end up in total press coverage of Russia trying contours distinguish days, weeks, in the public interest is one of the disaster. With so many U.S. for- to stop these monstrous ter- Met @ The Music Hall: OTELLO (VERDI) months from the next. Some in- few things government does that eign policy debacles, it seems the ror groups. On the fi rst day of Sat., October 24 • 1pm • Historic Theater mates have spent over two de- makes sense. White House, the State Depart- Russian bombing, we hear that cades in these tombs. So why should handling lethal ment and the Pentagon could be they had attacked “CIA-trained One paradox of solitary is fi rearms be such a sacred excep- stand-ins for them. Last month groups” who are described as “our that as starved as inmates are for tion? From a political standpoint, Politico reported, “there are now guys.” companionship, isolation typi- the only civil-right abridged just “four or fi ve” U.S.-trained From multiple reports, “our cally leaves them unfi t for it, and by getting a license is the right fi ghters in Syria … in the fi rst guys” are CIA-trained mercenar- National Theater London HD: HAMLET makes them easy prey for addi- to behave recklessly. If there’s a year of the Pentagon’s $500 mil- ies that are part of the so-called Sun., October 25 • 1pm • Historic Theater tional solitary. Constitutional amendment pro- lion train-and-equip program.” Army of Conquest “moderate Years ago, the British noticed tecting “stupid,” I’d like to know Good grief. Never mind the 2 rebels” that are “fi ghting along- that simply decreasing humil- which one. trillion dollars spent in Iraq and side” Al Qaeda. Amazingly, Al iation and saving face helped Many New Hampshire gun another 2 trillion dollars spent on Qaeda is now allied with “our reduce violence. Th e most dan- owners are exceedingly profi - Afghanistan. And what has re- guys” and classifi ed as moderate! gerous prisoners were off ered cient through military training, sulted? Both countries are in cha- And what does Hillary Clin- work opportunities, education, civilian classes, hunter safety os with radical jihadists running ton, who is the front runner to skill training with privileges like programs, shooting-sport com- amok. And what about Obama’s replace Obama, have to say? (603) 436-2400 more visitations and phone calls. petitions, and the like. But not reckless policy of regime change Hillary said she would put in a www.TheMusicHall.org Results were impressive. Th e use everyone who owns a gun is up in Libya and Ukraine? More “no-fl y” zone in Syria to stop nu- LOFT: 131 Congress St., Portsmouth, NH of long-term isolation in En- to speed. Many out there are billions spent and again, these clear-armed Russia from bomb- BOX OFFICE: 28 Chestnut St., Portsmouth, NH gland is now negligible. poorly-trained or have behavior- countries have melted into a total When inmates refuse to fol- al “issues” that might disqualify mess. Our country now has 19 Hate Mail, &c. low the rules, attack others, and them. As a civil society, it makes trillion dollars in debt — that’s a to page six

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Th e Northcountry Chronicle Green Mountain Bathsheba by William Marvel nothing from Saphronia until into her third trimester. In that Saphronia was four years old- support could be obtained with March of 1862. By then she was fi rst letter, she asked him to turn er than John Wilmot, and while relative ease from the Vermont hile leafi ng through Civ- better than seven months preg- over the supplemental monthly she may have been his fi rst co- soldiers’ subsidy. John instantly Wil War soldiers’ letters in nant. Th e baby, whom she named stipend Vermont allowed soldiers ital consort it seems doubtful took her word that he had fa- the Vermont Historical Society, Rohessie Wilmot, was born for the support of their families. that he was hers. She was obvi- thered her child — never won- I once ran across a soldier re- April 23, 1862. He had already assigned that to ously a woman of easy virtue by dering why she hadn’t written sponding to a woman’s claim that John spent the next two years his father — from whom he ap- the standards of 1861, and that to him for six months, during he had left her pregnant. I incor- sending Saphronia all the money pears to have been estranged, but behavior appeared to run in her which she may have been pur- porated this couple into a tetral- he could spare. Th en, he reenlist- whose permission he had need- family. At least one of her sisters suing more resistant candidates. ogy I was then writing, but never ed for the bounty money and a ed to enlist. Instead, he sent her had a child out of wedlock before He may well have been a victim composed an independent article furlough so he could come home most of his regular pay. When he the war, and Saphronia’s own be- of the classic deception Bath- on their relationship. I discussed and marry her. Soon after re- became eligible to reenlist he ex- havior may have infl uenced her sheba attempted in the Second such an article with a volunteer turning to duty he was severely plained to her that it would avail daughter, for Rohessie turned up Book of Samuel. and an employee at the histori- wounded at the Wilderness, and him a generous bounty and a fur- pregnant shortly after her 16th An even more sinister twist re- cal society years ago, and while died on June 17, 1864. lough, so they could get married, birthday. John Wilmot had not mains possible. Saphronia lived doing further research on it last Th e entire tale oozes with sen- asking her if he should do it; her been dead two years when Saph- with her parents most of her life. month I found that those two timentality. Th e young soldier reply is refl ected in his prompt ronia gave birth to another child In an age when very few people had fi nally published one them- immediately took responsibili- reenlistment. whose father was never named. reached the century mark, her fa- selves. Th ey cast a romantic light ty, promising to stand as a good Saphronia collected a widow’s Th at baby died in infancy, but ther lived to be 99 years old and on the story in their well-re- father and husband, while his pension until her death in 1909, in 1875 Saphronia bore an il- her daughter came within eight searched piece, which they called widow preserved all his letters as and she quickly sought a pension legitimate son she called Alger months of the same age. Th at, “Making It Right: Th e Civil War testimony of her devotion. She increase because of her daughter. Prescott Wilmot. His 1936 death and the Prescott girls’ unusual Letters of John Wilmot.” also provided him with a head- John’s letters were worth saving certifi cate identifi ed his father as tendency to unwed motherhood, John was working as a farm stone, inscribed with four lines of as evidence, since he acknowl- John Wilmot, who died a decade suggests that the grandfather’s hand in Post Mills just before the lugubrious doggerel. edged her child as his in each before Alger was conceived. genetic advantages might have war, and in the summer of 1861 “Not so fast,” an inquisitive re- of them, and she showed them Saphronia never married again, descended to Rohessie in great- he apparently shared an intimate porter might say. Saphronia must to public offi cials as proof. Th e probably because she would have er-than-normal purity. Perhaps moment or two with Saphronia have suspected she was pregnant Pension Bureau initially consid- lost her pension. Similarly mer- Alger Prescott Wilmot deserved Ann Prescott. In September, at by late September, before John’s ered Rohessie illegitimate none- cenary calculation may have his middle name more than his 19, he went to war with the 4th regiment left the state, but she theless, but the widow eventually prompted her belated appeal to last, and John Wilmot’s DNA Vermont Infantry, but he heard never approached him until deep won her case. John in the fi rst place, because died with him.

More Mash Notes, Hate Mail, and Other Correspondence, from Page Five ing these terrorists. Does Hillary latest TV ad touting her support deny women access to contra- to health care. She has support- 603 Alliance Caucus Coming Up realize such a knuckleheaded for women’s healthcare? Note ception. She introduced a sham ed eff orts to allow employers to To the Editor: idea could start World War III? the timing of the appearance of birth control bill that increased deny women coverage for birth Th e 603 Alliance has been Recall Hillary, as Secretary of this ad launched just days after costs for women which, by the control and other preventative formed to help make sure that a State, laughed when Muammar Governor Maggie Hassan an- way, was opposed by the Amer- screenings. One would hope that candidate who would be a great Gaddafi was lynched by a mob nounced her run for U.S. Senate. ican Congress of OB-GYNs. in 2015 a woman no less could President wins the New Hamp- and said, “We came, we saw, he While Ayotte claims to be a big Ayotte voted repeatedly to de- do better than that. shire Republican Presidential died.” It is curious Hillary Clin- defender of women’s health, her fund Planned Parenthood and Women (and men) through- primary. ton chose to paraphrase Caesar, record demonstrates otherwise. other family planning centers. out New Hampshire must look To accomplish its goal, the 603 the leader of Rome, as we all Ayotte has voted right along Th ese centers provide critical beyond polished political ads Alliance is conducting an Io- know what happened to Rome. with her Republican colleagues health services including breast to learn what our candidates wa-like caucus on October 17th. John Meinhold as they continue what some have and cervical cancer screenings. are really about. Ayotte is not Th e 603 Alliance will endorse Portsmouth, N.H. termed their “war on women.” While and her pro-women. She has proven that the caucus winner and encourage ≈≈≈ Let’s look at the facts. Ayotte backers are desperately trying to time and again. people to help him or her win Ayotte vs. Women’s Health supported the misguided Hobby rewrite history, they can’t alter Beth Olshansky the New Hampshire Republican To the Editor: Lobby decision. She voted mul- the facts. Ayotte has repeatedly Durham, N.H. Presidential Primary. Has anyone seen Kelly Ayotte’s tiple times to allow employers to voted to block women’s access ≈≈≈ Unlike a primary election, a

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Wine for the table, not for the cellar. Th e New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, October 16, 2015 — Page 7

Proud “Partners” Corporatize Our Parks by Jim Hightower ic and historical legacies” of parks an NPS plan to ban sales of bot- also became a Proud NPS Part- In return for becoming a Proud with advertisers. In other words, tled water in the Grand Canyon ner by making a $2.5 million Partner, Air Wick was autho- hile we Americans cele- they are selling the Park Service’s park. Disposable plastic bottles tax-deductible “gift.” In turn, its rized to market a new fragrance Wbrate the 100th anniver- proud public brand … as well as are that park’s biggest source of Budweiser brand was given the collection that it advertises as be- sary of our National Park Service, its soul. trash, but Coke owns the Dasani Statue of Liberty. Not literally, ing “uniquely inspired by Ameri- America’s so-called “leaders” are First in line was Coca-Cola. In brand of water, so bye-bye ban. but symbolically — Bud now has ca’s national parks.” aggressively commercializing our 2010, the multibillion-dollar co- Public outrage forced offi cials to the right to plaster Lady Liberty, ≈≈≈ parks, converting these jewels of lossus became a “Proud Partner” reverse this crass move, but NPS’ the iconic symbol of the USA it- Copyright 2015 by Jim High- the common good into just an- with NPS by making a mere $2.5 integrity has yet to recover. self, on its cans. tower & Associates. Contact Laura other corporate cash cow. million tax-deductible donation. Th en this April, the park ser- Creeping commercialization Ehrlich ([email protected]) Th is started with “co-branding” In return, Coke got exclusive vice abandoned its policy of of our public parks is not creep- for more information. agreements, rationalized by NPS rights to use park logos in its ads rejecting any ties to alcohol ing, it’s running rampant! For ≈≈≈ offi cials as “aligning the econom- — and it also was allowed to veto products when Anheuser-Busch example, take a whiff of this: caucus conducts multiple rounds possibility that a great President Both interpretations are gram- tioned. Personally, I fi nd AP style natural environments. Commu- of voting to determine the candi- emerge from the current Republi- matically valid. (Although the obnoxious enough that I would not nities impacted by proposed in- date that most voters prefer. can fi eld. Th at said, we’re all for the understood “his” before “sister” consider paying good money for dustrial wind in the Newfound / Everyone votes for their fi rst Alliance’s openness to an alterna- would be lost in one of the read- a more recent version. Th e afore- Mt. Cardigan Region have over- choice, then votes are counted tive to winner-take-all voting. ings, the ambiguity remains if mentioned managing editor and I whelmingly expressed opposition and the candidate with the fewest Th e Editor one includes “his.”) may encounter each other after the to such projects through their votes is eliminated. People who ≈≈≈ Like Mr. Marvel, I general- consumption of alcohol sometime Master Plans, Resolutions, and voted for the eliminated candi- A Comical Comma Comment ly prefer Chicago and its use of in early December, if she holds her the enactment of Rights-based date(s) vote for their next choice To the Editor: the serial comma in my personal current position, and Mr. Hall is Ordinances in Grafton, Dan- in the next round of voting. Th e William Marvel’s column on writing. But after years as a re- welcome to referee if he dares.” bury, Alexandria and Hebron. process of voting, eliminating the “Comma Karma” (Sept.18) trots porter and editor, I also appre- Th e Editor EDP is interested in using the least popular candidate(s), and out a tired debate about the se- ciate the economy of AP style ≈≈≈ Newfound / Mt. Cardigan Re- voting again from among the rial comma, and he gets his facts where every character of type Stop Energy Colonization gion as a wind resource colony remaining candidates is repeated wrong when he criticizes Asso- is at a premium. Yes, AP can To the Editor: for profi t. NHCRN assists com- until a single candidate, the win- ciated Press style in general. AP be confusing, but so can the al- New Hampshire Communi- munities in elevating their right ner, is left. does not call for describing fi ve- ternative. Better to rework the ty Rights Network (NHCRN) to protect their resources for the Th e caucus winner is the can- and-a-half-years-old Tommy as sentence and avoid the paired believes that sustainable envi- sake of the health, safety and didate that most people prefer, “51/2.” In fact, AP (according punctuation perils. ronmental and economic devel- welfare of residents, their local hopefully one of almost every- to the 2015 stylebook, as well as Regardless of linguistic lean- opment can be achieved only economy, and their environmen- one’s top choices. Identifying preceding years’ editions) would ings, I’ll heed the advice of Lynne when the people aff ected by tal sustainability. the caucus winner should help read: “5 1/2” ... with a space be- Truss, who wrote in Eats, Shoots governing decisions are the ones NHCRN has proposed a con- voters decide who to vote for in tween the whole number and the & Leaves: “Th ere are people who who make such decisions. When stitutional amendment, spon- the New Hampshire Presidential fraction. embrace the Oxford comma, and for-profi t corporations such as sored by Representative Susan Primary in February, 2016. And while Mr. Marvel feels people who don’t, and I’ll just Energias de Portugal force their Emerson, that would secure All registered New Hampshire that “in an infl exible AP world, say this: never get between these projects against the will of com- the right of local community Republican and Undeclared vot- consistency often trumps clarity,” people when drink has been tak- munities impacted by such proj- self-government within com- ers are invited to participate in he probably should take another en.” ects, they are violating the rights munities all across the State of the caucus which will be held look at the stylebook. AP has re- William Hall of the people to collectively de- New Hampshire - to protect the on Saturday, October 17th at peatedly explained that the serial Yarmouth, Maine cide what happens where they rights of people, communities, the Hopkinton Fair Grounds. comma should be used where its William: live. and their natural environments Caucus sign-in begins at 10 a.m. omission would create confu- We’ll let Mr. Marvel speak for Energies de Portugal’s (EDP) free from state preemption and Photo ID is required. Th ere is no sion (e.g., in a series of complex himself: “Th e virtues Mr. Hall decision to move forward with corporate interference. Visit charge to participate. See ww- phrases). claims for the AP Stylebook are the Spruce Ridge project reveals NHCRN at www.nhcommu- w.603alliance.com for more in- Moreover, the example he cites either alien to the AP-obsessed they feel their right to profi t from nityrights.org or contact info@ formation. of Chicago style’s clarity (“Bruno managing editor at the Conway ridgeline wind resources over- nhcommunityrights.org . John Sangenario lives with Terry, his wife, and sis- Daily Sun or are absent from my rides the rights of communities Michelle Sanborn, NHCRN Hampton, N.H. ter.”) is also ambiguous. Is Terry’s 2002 edition of the AP Stylebook, to protect the health, safety and Coordinator John: wife a resident of the domicile, and may refl ect belated recogni- welfare of residents, their eco- Alexandria, N.H. Logic would seem to preclude the or is Terry actually Bruno’s wife? tion of fl aws such as those I men- nomic sustainability, and their ≈≈≈ Fertile Ground Passionate Plant Care for over 25 years Design • Garden Maintenance • Pruning Diane Perkins (603) 770-4946 [email protected] Member NHLA NHAA

Alternative Clothing & Goods 33 Vaughan Mall • Portsmouth, NH 03801 • (603) 431-2243 • WaterMonkey.com Tapestries, Posters, Rugs Candles, Incense Great Hats, Local Tie Dyes, & Silver Rings Page 8 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, October 16, 2015 Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide (Not for Navigational Purposes)

Portsmouth, arguably the fi rst whom you choose to believe. drags about seventeen billion moves from the mouth of the Twice a day, too, the moon lets all Badger’s Island, bobbing around in and bridges work their hardest. town in this country not founded Th e Piscataqua’s ferocious current gallons of seawater — enough to river, up past New Castle, around that water go. All the seawater that the current. It weighs several tons, Ships coming in laden with coal, by religious extremists, is bounded is caused by the tide, which, in fi ll 2,125,000 tanker trucks — up the bend by the old Naval Prison, just fought its way upstream goes and it bobs and bounces in the oil, and salt do so at high tide, for on the north and east by the turn, is caused by the moon. Th e the river and into Great Bay. Th is under Memorial Bridge, past the back home to the ocean. Th is is current like a cork. more clearance under their keels. Piscataqua River, the second, third, other player is a vast sunken valley creates a roving hydraulic confl ict, tugboats, and on into Great Bay. when the Piscataqua earns its title Th e river also has its placid mo- Th ey leave empty, riding high in or fourth fastest-fl owing navigable — Great Bay — about ten miles as incoming sea and the outgoing Th is can best be seen when the tide for xth fastest current. Look for the ments, around high and low tides. the water, at low tide, to squeeze river in the country, depending on upriver. Twice a day, the moon river collide. Th e skirmish line is rising. red buoy, at the upstream end of When the river rests, its tugboats under Memorial Bridge. Sunday, October 18 Monday, October 19 Tuesday, October 20 Wednesday, October 21 Thursday, October 22 Friday, October 23 Saturday, October 24

2014—Th ousands of college-age 2005—Sen. Judd Gregg (R-N.H.) 2005—Sen. Judd Gregg (R-N.H.) 1975—In the 12th inning, New 1985— Th e last surviving Kickapoo 2001—Th e day Congressman 2012—George W.[MD] Bush cretins, urged on by social media wins $853,492 in the Powerball lot- nixes more federal home heating Hampshire’s own Carlton Fisk Indians are given the right to live James Sensenbrenner (R-WI) speaks at a Houston fundraiser for company Finnarage, set fi res, throw tery. A dying woman whose real es- aid for the poor. waves the ball fair, and the Red Sox on their ancestral lands after being introduces the senseless PATRI- troops wounded following his or- billiard balls, and overturn cars at tate deposit he has refused to return 2004—Th e Red Sox come back win Game 6 of the World Series. kicked off 140 years earlier. OT Act, Justice offi cial James Yoo ders. His fee: $100,000. the fi nal Keene Pumpkin Festival. receives exactly none of it. from a 3 game defi cit and be- 1967—Yippies, Diggers, Hippies, 1964—Th e Atomic Energy Com- writes a memo saying the President 2001—Th e U.S. House passes the 2011—Ohioan Terry Th ompson 2005—Saddam Hussein goes on come the American League &c., fail to levitate the Pentagon. mission explodes a 5-kiloton atom- need not obey existing laws. PATRIOT Act without reading it. releases his menagerie of 56 exotic trial in Baghdad for crimes against Champions, beating the Yankees 1966—A mountain of mine waste ic bomb 2,700 feet underground 1999—Asked why he hasn’t cam- 1983—U.S. military aircraft, using animals including lions, leopards, humanity and Bushes. 10 to 3 at Yankee Stadium. collapses onto a school in Wales, and ten miles west of Purvis, MS. paigned more in New Hampshire, old maps, bomb Richmond Hill In- and tigers, then kills himself. 2004—Riot police maintain order 1990—In 22 cities, Americans killing 28 adults and 116 children. 1963—His last request, for an in- George W.[MD] Bush says “Th e sane Asylum in Grenada, killing 16. 2003—Th e president of Bolivia is long enough for the (bloody) Red protest the impending Gulf War. 1965—Lyndon Johnson fl ashes his jection of LSD, fulfi lled, Aldous important question is, how many 1960—One wrongly-set switch at driven out of offi ce (and country) Sox to beat the Yankees 4 to 2 in 1983—Th e Feds recognize the gall bladder scar for photographers. Huxley dies. hands have I shaked?” the Baikonur Cosmodrome prema- by disgruntled peasants tired of his Game 6 of the ALCS. Mashantucket Pequots, paving 1957—Special Forces Captain 1962—SAC goes to DEFCON 2 1983—Suicide bombers kill 241 turely ignites the second stage of a knuckling under to corrupt interna- 2000—George W.[MD] Bush says the way for a gargantuan casino. Harry Cramer becomes the fi rst as JFK blockades Cuba. U.S. Marines and sailors in Leba- Soviet R-16 ICBM. It explodes kill- tional energy companies. at the Al Smith Dinner, “Th is is an 1973—After Attorney General American soldier killed by hostile 1929—“I know of nothing fun- non, on Ronald Reagan’s watch. ing more than 100. 1973—RIP Walt Kelly. impressive crowd, the haves and the Eliot Richardson and Deputy action in Vietnam, but his death is damentally wrong with the stock 1975—Workers at the Nevada test 1962—Soviet ships reach the U.S. 1929—Th e Canadian government have-mores. Some people call you A.G. William Ruckelshaus both falsely listed as accidental. market,” says President of New site drop a nuclear weapon core 40 quarantine line off Cuba. Th ey don’t declares women are “persons.” the elite. I call you my base.” refuse, on principle, to comply 1954—Th e Indiana Boxing Com- York’s National City Bank. feet. It doesn’t explode, so only 11 cross it, so we don’t nuke the USSR. 1927—IWW strikers shut down 1987—Morton Downey, Jr. begins with President Richard Nixon’s mission rules that boxers and wres- 1909—Female garment workers workers are injured. A Soviet satellite explodes the same Colorado’s coal industry. his televised hate fest the same day order to fi re Special Prosecuter tlers must swear under oath they are strike in New York. A judge tells 1973—Eight articles of impeach- day. NORAD suspects an ICBM 1898—Th e U.S. colonizes Puerto the stock market drops 22 percent. Archibald Cox, Solicitor General not Commies before they can fi ght arrested pickets, “You are on strike ment are introduced in the House attack; but, again, nobody pushes Rico — benevolently, of course. Economists fail to see a connection. Robert Bork, who is not so en- in the Hoosier State. against God.” against President Nixon. Th e Button. 1867—Russia hands over Alaska. 1982—Automaker J. DeLorean is cumbered, complies. 1874—Birth of Charles Ives. 1907—Th e Knickerbocker Trust 1962—With SAC at DEFCON 1947—A poorly-designed heater 1860—British troops burn the im- arrested with 59 lbs. of coke. 1947—HUAC opens hearings 1861—Sen. Edward D. Baker Company goes belly-up, igniting 2, JFK and aides debate whether to aboard a DC-6 catches fi re near perial summer palace of the Man- 1972—Philippine police shoot and on commie infl uence in H’wood. (R-Ore.), in his capacity as a Col- the Panic of 1907. bomb Cuban SAM sites if any U.S. Bryce Canyon, Utah. Passengers and chu emperors towards the end of kill Kinshichi Kozuka, Japan’s pen- 1944—Two natural gas tanks ex- onel leading a brigade at the Battle 1885—Bored with poetry, Arthur planes are shot down. crew jettison baggage but can’t main- the Second Opium War. ultimate WW II holdout. plode in Cleveland with 1/6th of of Ball’s Bluff , becomes the fi rst and Rimbaud decides to run guns for 1955—In a South Vietnamese ref- tain altitude; 52 perish. 1854—At a meeting in Ostend, 1962—Air Force General Curtis the force of the Hiroshima bomb, last U.S. Senator killed in battle. King Menelik of Shoa. erendum with 108% participation, 1947—Walt Disney rats out some U.S. ministers to Spain, France and LeMay recommends direct military killing 130 people. 1837—Under a fl ag of truce, 75 1861—Th e fi rst transcontinental Ngô Đình Diệm wins with 98.9%. employees to Congress as commies. Germany declare Cuba indispens- intervention in Cuba. 1935—Th e Red Army’s 6,000 Seminoles are captured and impris- telegraph begins operation. 1954—Pres. Eisenhower authoriz- 1929—Th e irrational exuberance of able to U.S. security interests and 1960—Eisenhower embargoes Cuba. mile “Long March” ends. oned by U.S. troops at Ft. Payton, 1844—Th e third time fails to be a es direct U.S. aid to South Vietnam, the 1920’s stock market undergoes recommend to President Franklin 1864—St. Albans, Vt. is attacked 1930—William Kogut, while in- FL. charm as William Miller’s prophe- bypassing the French. a correction on “Black Th ursday.” Pierce that he purchase it. Sicily by twenty Confederate cavalrymen carcerated on Death Row at San 1835—For saying “all men are cre- cy of the end of the world proves to 1775—Th e Continental Congress 1901—Annie Edson Taylor, 63, be- beats him to it. riding south from Canada. Th ey rob Quentin, kills himself with a pipe ated equal,” Wm. Lloyd Garrison have been inaccurate. prohibits the enlistment of blacks comes the fi rst person to survive a 1775—British ships under Capt. three banks and escape with more bomb made from playing cards. is paraded through Boston with a 1834—A fi re to get rid of a huge in the Army. trip over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Henry Mowat destroy Falmouth than $200,000. 1922—In Dayton, Ohio, Army rope around his neck. mass of ancient wooden tally sticks 1739—Britain declares war on 1901—General “Hell-Roaring Jake” [now Portland] with an incendiary 1849—Elizabeth Blackwell be- Lt. H.R. Harris becomes the fi rst 1797—Th e U.S.S. Constitution is once used for bookkeeping gets out Spain over Robert Jenkins’ ear. Smith tells Marines at Samar, “burn bombardment. Collateral damage: comes the fi rst American woman man to parachute from a disabled christened by Captain James Sever of hand and burns Britain’s Houses 425—Flavius Placidius Valentini- and kill; the more you burn and kill, Mowat’s career & British control. with an MD. plane and live. of Portsmouth. of Parliament to the ground. anus, age 6, becomes Emperor. the better it will please me.” 3:06 3:16 3:53 4:05 4:46 5:02 5:45 6:04 6:47 7:08 7:48 8:11 8:46 9:11

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Sunday, October 25 Monday, October 26 Tuesday, October 27 Wednesday, October 28 Thursday, October 29 Friday, October 30 Saturday, October 31 2001—A single Senator — Russ 2003—Iraqi resistance fi ghters 2004—Th e Red Sox take the 2011—Texas Gov. Rick Perry be- 2003—George W.[MD] Bush ex- 2012—For the fi rst time since the 1973—Th ree IRA prisoners escape Feingold (D-Wis.) — votes against nearly get Deputy Defence Secre- World Series in four from the Car- comes curiously exuberant over the plains that “Th e war on terror in- Ice Age, public access to the sea at from Mountjoy Jail in Dublin via a the PATRIOT Act. tary Paul Wolfowitz with a rocket dinals — fi rst time since 1918. gift of a bottle of maple syrup. volves Saddam Hussein because of Sanders Poynt in Rye is cut off by hijacked helicopter. 1983—U.S. troops preserve our Re- in Baghdad. 1972—Richard Nixon pocket 2007—Th e Red Sox take the World the nature of Saddam Hussein, the would-be Senator Bill Binnie. 1968—President Johnson stops the public by invading Grenada. 2001—George W.[MD] Bush ea- vetoes a bill to raise the veterans Series in four from the Rockies — history of Saddam Hussein, and his 2005—Pastor Kyle Lake, 33, stand- bombing of North Vietnam. 1973—As Nixon sleeps, Henry gerly signs the PATRIOT Act. health care budget by $85 million. second time in three years. willingness to terrorize himself.” ing in water to perform a baptism 1967—Gov. Ronald Reagan denies Kissinger, Alexander Haig, and 1979—South Korean President 1969—Hoping to convince the 2005—Cheney henchman “Scoot- 1994—Francisco Martin Duran before 800 people at a Waco, TX a “homosexual ring” is operating fi ve other unelected offi cials raise Park Chung-hee is shot by the head Soviets he’s dangerously unstable, er” Libby resigns after he’s indicted. fi res 29 rounds from an SKS rifl e Baptist church, reaches for a micro- out of his offi ce in Sacramento. America’s military readiness level to of the South Korean C.I.A. Richard Nixon secretly orders eigh- 2003—”[A]s you know,” explains at the White House before being phone and is electrocuted. 1963—“I can safely say,” says Gen. DEF CON 3. 1972—Henry the K., lying as usual, teen B-52s armed with H-bombs George W.[MD] Bush, “these are subdued by two civilians. 1995—Quebec votes not to secede, Paul Harkin, U.S. commander in 1968—Northeast Flight 946 crash- says “Peace is at hand.” to spend the next three days fl ying open forums, you’re able to come 1987—Ronald Reagan nominates but just barely. South Vietnam, “that the end of es into Moose Mountain, in Ha- 1970—“Doonesbury” debuts. around the North Pole. and listen to what I have to say.” Douglas H. Ginsburg for the Su- 1990—For the fi rst time since the the war is in sight.” nover, N.H. Ten survive, 32 perish. 1962—As planning for massive air 1967—Rev. Philip Berrigan and 1988—In Tacoma, a jury awards preme Court, but his pot-smoking Ice Age, England and the Euro- 1964—China explodes an A-bomb. 1962—Nuclear-armed jets scram- strikes continues, President John F. three friends pour duck blood on $147,000 to a woman seduced by past puts the kibosh on that. pean mainland are connected; this 1941—On convoy duty on the ble from Duluth AFB because a Kennedy gets a telegram from Ni- draft records in Baltimore, MD. her minister. 1979—1,000 are arrested on Wall time by chunnel. North Atlantic, the U.S.S. Reuben guard, thinking it’s an infi ltrator, kita Khrushchev off ering to swap 1965—“We must never forget,” 1984—OPEC decides to produce Street for disrupting business on 1967—Martin Luther King, Jr. is James is sunk by a U-Boat. has shot a bear climbing a fence. Soviet missiles in Cuba for U.S. says Richard Nixon, “that if the less oil and make more money. the 50th Anniversary of the Crash. arrested in Birmingham, AL. 1939—FDR moves the date of 1960—Martin Luther King, Jr. gets missiles in Turkey. war in Vietnam is lost … the right 1970—Sen. William Fulbright 1969—Th e DARPANET is turned 1961—Th e Soviet Union air-drops Th anksgiving by a week to boost four months at hard labor in Deca- 1955— Ngô Đình Diệm proclaims of free speech will be extinguished charges the Nixon administration on—two computers communicate a 58-megaton hydrogen bomb, cre- Christmas retail sales. tur, Ga. on old traffi c charges. South Vietnam a republic and him- throughout the world.” with waging illegal war in Laos. for the fi rst time ever. ating the largest explosion in hu- 1938—A Utah prison doctor re- 1944—Adm. Sprague’s task force self president. 1962—As one American U-2 is 1962—Russkie Premier Nikita 1964—Jack “Murph the Surf ” man history. cords John Deering’s heart rate “Taff y 3,” surprised by a far-larger 1917—At the Second Battle of shot down over Cuba, and another Khrushchev agrees to dismantle the Murphy lifts the Star of India from 1950—Puerto Ricans rebel against with an EKG as he’s executed by a group of Japanese ships at Samar Passchendaele, the Allies gain a few strays over the USSR, Robert Ken- Soviet missile bases in Cuba and the Museum of Natural History. U.S. rule. fi ring squad. Island, attacks ferociously, tipping hundred yards of mud at a cost of nedy cuts a deal with Soviet Am- remove the weapons. 1958—A radioactive cloud drifts 1948—Smog deaths in Donora, PA 1926—Mussolini survives an as- the strategic balance at Leyte Gulf. 12,000 casualties. bassador Anatoly Dobrynin. Mean- 1929—A child is born in an air- over Los Angeles after the explo- reach 20, and 6,000 are sick. sassination attempt by 15 year old 1944—U.S.S. Tang, captained by 1881—Th e alleged law and the while, aboard Soviet sub B-59, near plane, over Miami—where else? sion of an A-bomb in Nevada. 1945—Th e U.S. government ends anarchist Anteo Zamboni. Dover’s Richard H. O’Kane, is sunk Clanton brothers shoot it out at the Cuba, Vice Admiral Vasili Arkh- 1922—Benito Mussolini, “sent by 1935—Driving home in his bo- shoe rationing. 1926— Ehrich “Harry Houdini” by its own malfunctioning torpedo; O.K. Corral in Tombstone, AZ. ipov single-handedly prevents the divine providence,” according to nus—a new Rolls—after signing a 1838—A mob led by three Missou- Weiss dies of a punch to the stomach. 74 men perish. Nine men survive 1806—Lord Timothy Dexter, sem- launch of a nuclear torpedo. Pope Pius XI, takes over in Rome. three-year, $1 million contract, car- ri Militia captains attacks a colony 1918—In a week, Spanish Flu kills the sinking and subsequent intern- inal American crackpot who made 1951—“Th ere is no question,” says 1921—Argentine workers revolt toonist Sidney Smith (Th e Gumps) of Mormons at Huan’s Mill, killing 21,000 Americans. ment in Japanese prison camps. money selling bed warmers in the Gen. J. Lawton Collins, “that the under the black fl ag of anarchism. dies in a car wreck. most of them. 1893—Daniel Fowle’s printing 1854—Lord James Cardigan leads West Indies and author of A Penny Communist menace in French In- Th e army kills 1,500. 1929—“Black Tuesday”—16 mil- 1831—Rebel slave leader Nat press is last seen in public at the a brigade of sword-brandish- for the Knowing Ones, dies in New- do-China has been stopped.” 1919—Congress passes the Vol- lion shares sell on Wall Street, at Turner is arrested in Virginia. closing of the World’s Columbian ing light cavalrymen across open buryport, MA. 1838—Missouri Gov. Lilburn stead Act, enabling prohibition. ever declining prices; $26 billion 1501—Party guests win prizes by Exposition, Chicago. ground in a doomed attack against 1369—“Th e Wise”Charles V, King Boggs signs an executive order 1906—Ivy Lee issues the world’s evaporates. competitively coupling with 50 1765—Th e New Hampshire Gazette Russian artillery. Astonishingly, of France, dedicates a monument calling for Mormons to be “treated fi rst press release, defl ecting blame 1918—Sailors mutiny in Kiehl, naked whores collecting chestnuts is printed “in mourning” for lost half survive. to his personal chef for creating a as enemies,” and “exterminated or from the Pennsylvania Railroad for Germany and establish Sailors and strewn on the palazzo apostolico of liberty, in protest of the Stamp Act, 1760—King George II dies on the loo. recipe for pickled fi sh. driven from the state.” the deaths of 50 passengers. Workers Councils. Pope Alexander VI. to take eff ect the following day. 9:40 10:08 10:32 11:02 11:22 11:54 12:11 12:45 1:00 1:36 1:50 2:28 2:41

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