GSU host Robin Olmypic Williams kids events. around in "Jack." page 5 page 9
V.63 No.40 The Student Newspaper of Georgia State University August 13, 1996 GSU breaks ground for CHARA telescope
By Matthew Wright officials. Staff Writer The telescope array will be used to search for planets, Officials broke ground study spots on distant stars, last month for Georgia State observe stars as they con University's Center for High dense from primordial gas Angular Resolution As and dust, witness star births tronomy (CHARA), a $11.4 and observe stars closely or million telescope array being biting each other, they said. built atop California's Mount Scientists will also use the Wilson. telescope to more accurately The project will begin determine the age and size of with the construction of the the universe. Beam Synthesis Facility (BSF), Areas of the western and the "brain" of the array. Even southwestern United States tually, five CHARA telescopes were compared in the search will be positioned around the for the most suitable site on BSF at distances up to 200 which to build the telescope meters away on Mount array. Areas in these parts of Wilson's peak and will trans the country "typically have mit information to the BSF via twice as many clear nights a vacuum pipes which transmit year as would be available in the light from the telescopes. Georgia," according to Dr. Hal special pnoto The facility will provide McAlister, director of CHARA. The $11.4 million CHARA telescope array, located on California's Mount Wilson, will he 100 times astronomers with an image The stable coastal air of the more powerful than the Hubble Space Telescope 100 times more detailed than site on the Pacific "makes for site, and people and existing positioned to allow a maxi 1994, which will cover roughly the Hubble Space Telescope good seeing conditions," he structures. Mount Wilson has mum viewing window for the half the cost of construction. and 5,000 times finer than can said. a lot to offer us." array. An additional $5.8 million will be seen with traditional tele "Mount Wilson is the best The high peaks of the The construction of the be needed to complete the scopes, "the power equiva site in the world for our pur mountains surrounding telescope array will be par project. GSU has raised $1.25 lent to seeing the disc of a poses," said McAlister. "In Mount Wilson posed a chal tially funded by a $5.6 million million towards the second nickel located 10,000 miles terms of accessibility, clarity lenge to the project planners. National Science Foundation half of construction. away," according to CHARA of the atmosphere above the The five telescopes had to be grant awarded to GSU on Post-Olympic research Ghanan artist brings life to coffins continues on athletes ations range from fish to boats, vegetables and other ob By Louie Maria Valdivieso jects. These fanciful forms signify the accomplishments of Staff Writer the deceased and deliver him or her in style into the realm on the ancestral spirits. Have you ever On tour from the Gallery of Arts of the University of wondered what memo Missouri -Kansas City, the coffin exhibition was viewed by ries you would leave thousands as they visited the GSU campus during the Olym behind if you were bur pics. The forms chosen to be built may represent the ied in a coffin that was deceased's occupation or a significance of the deceased's built like, or in the life. shape of, a hot dog, an The coffins can be viewed right here on the Georgia State onion or even a University campus up until August 24, 1996, in the GSU Gal Mercedes Benz? You lery. The exhibition is free and opened to everyone. might wonder how can The exhibition and related events are sponsored by the having a hot dog or an Department of Anthropology and Sociology in conjunction onion be possible as a with the Department of Visual and Performing Arts' Lectures design for a coffin. Commitee. Well, it has been made Special Photo Athletes are monitored as part of LEAP program at GSU's Center for possible and you can Sports Medicine and Sports Sciences. wonder no longer. Created by By Louie Maria Valdivieso Ghanian artist Kane Staff Writer Quaye, from his work This Week shop in Teshi, Ghana Many nationally ranked ath the "fantasy" coffins are Opinions 4 letes participated in studies con a new age way of buri ducted at Georgia State als in Ghana. Costing University's Center for Sports Sports 5 approximately $300 to Medicine and Sport Sciences dur $400, the coffins have ing the Olympic Games. been a Ghanian innova Features 7 Among other athletes, world- tion for the past fifty class runner Sebastian Coe and years. From 1927-1992, Comics 10 U.S. Olympic gymnasts, Shannon Ghanians have reached Special Photo Miller and Dominique Dawes, their pex in Quaye's One of the many "fantasy" coffins in the shape of a fish was built by Ghanian Kane Quaye creations. His cre Classifieds 11 See "LEAP," page 3 Tuesday, luly 9. I 996
UJ
3 c/}
a> c a>
a>
"LEAP" from page 1 research team. pound, they're stronger than "Georgia State has some any other athletes we've ever A weekly collection of the were participants in the re excellent scientists doing ex measured, including football search at Georgia State's cellent work, but we all have and hockey players." curious, out-of-ordinary Laboratory for Elite Athlete limitations," said Thompson. Also, co-directing LEAP ( Performance (LEAP). While "The best way to address a with Benardot is David Mar and just plain weird. the Olympics may be over and research question is with a tin, professor of cardiopulmo the athletes may seem to have team of scientists who bring nary care sciences. Martin all gone home, many are still different areas of expertise to and Benardot together pre being observed here on the the table." sented a research paper university campus laborato Thompson has united about their work with elite Amount New York paid out last year to people ries. other scientists from GSUs gymnasts at the 1995 Atlanta claiming personal injuries from potholes: $5 million. Formed in 1994, and de colleges of Education, Health Olympic Scientific Congress. —The New York Times Sunday Magazine fined as the official biome Sciences and Arts and Sci Soon thereafter, the United chanics laboratory for the ences to help with the ongo States Olympic Committee Current starting annual salaries for top-tier busi 1996 games, the center is ing research. Along with (USOC) funded research in ness-school graduates: $67,067. dedicated to interdisciplinary Thompson's research team, five sports including track —Business Week research addressing signifi Dan Benardot, co-director of and field, with the goal of cant problems related to ex (LEAP), associate director for helping make U.S. athletes ercise, wellness and sports. research of the center and the more competitive. Number of Americans who die each year due to The center uses the latest scientist who provided the "The nature of the game tobacco: 420,000. technology, in sports Number of smokers who quit each year: 1.3 mil including bio medicine and lion. mechanics, to "The Center for Sports Medicine and Sport sport sci —Mother Jones analyze the ences is work human physi Sciences exemplifies the type of interaction that ing together," cal condition Average number of stars visible from a U.S. sub I would like to see happening across campus," said Martin. urb on a clear night: 250. and fine tune The elite Average number visible from the wilderness: the training — Georgia State Provost, Ron Henry. athletes will program on 2,500 continue to some of the come to Geor —Harper's Index world's greatest athletes. national gymnastic teams gia State to participate in the The athletes learn nutri with onsite nutrition exper studies and learn wellness Recently created by the U.S. Air Force and tion, research their muscle tise, making sure the athletes through the LEAP program. Cyberware of Monterey, California: A body scanner strengths with machines and were eating the right kind of "The Center for Sports that measures a person's shape in 15 seconds and is tend to their own particular foods during the 1996 Olym Medicine and Sport Sciences used to fit military clothing and equipment. health needs while undergo pics. exemplifies the type of inter —The Wall Street Journal ing a series of conditioning "1 wrote a computer pro action that I would like to see tests. The services are free of gram for all coaches of na happening across campus," Slogan to be printed on 200 urinal screens as part charge. tional team members to help said Georgia State Provost Dr. Ben Johnson, director them gather data from the Ron Henry. "Walt Thompson of an anti-rape campaign at Ohio State University: of the center's biomechanics gymnasts and easily get it is a very dynamic leader. He "You hold the power to stop rape in your hands." lab, coordinated 19 research back to me so that minor has been able to bring profes —Newsweek projects for the International problems can be corrected sors from a number of differ Olympic Committee. They quickly," said Benardot. ent departments in which Pounds of Yak hair used since 1982 in the Broad were projects ranging from Miller and Dawes come to they have a common interest. way production of Cats: 2,488. studying the aerial mechanics Benardot's lab twice a year to It will literally put us on the —Harper's Index of gymnasts during floor ex be evaluated and quizzed, all map," said Henry. ercises to analyzing diving to improve their training, and While GSU may be clean techniques from both the to minimize injury risks and ing up the premises and pack springboard and platform. enable them to stay as gym ing up the Olympic decora Traveling from venue to nasts longer. Although many tions, the Center for Sports venue, Johnson's primary job of the athletes appear thin, Medicine and Sport Science during the games was to keep they are trained by their will continue to use their all the researchers organized coaches to eat well, train regu "Olympic" equipment and and on task. larly and under the supervi study, observe, research and rAW«Ti^NiTil0[SiK^L'»Y(0.l!]ieRfAWI In addition, physiologist sion of GSUs research team advise Olympic athletes to Walter Thompson currently keep a well-balanced diet. further their research here at the director at the Center for According to Benardot, GSU. The more everything changes Sports Medicine and Sport "there's nothing skinny about GSU Magazine contributed the more they stay Sciences, is also part of the these athletes. Pound for to this story. the same. venywatsy Just a few Olympic moments ...
PG13 www.tticbradybunch.com AMERICA'S GROOVIEST FAMILY IS BACK! WIN A PAIR OF PASSES TO A PREVIEW SCREENING OF smew mmML™
COME BY THE SIGNAL OFFICE AND NAME ALL 9 MEMBERS Photos By Ellen Ostapower Heifers Kids cool off in the foun OF THE "BRADY BUNCH" HOUSEHOLD TO WIN! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY, WHILE SUPPLIES LAST, EMPLOYEES OF tain at Centennial Olympic PARAMOUNT PICTURES AND THE SIGNAL NOT ELIGIBLE Park. "A VERY BRADY SEQUEL" OPENS AUGUST 23RD IN THEATERS EVERYWHERE! (Left) Flags, flowers, and other articles of mourning adorn the memo rial for the victims of the Centennial Park bombing. (Right) Crowds fill International Boulevard for Olympic celebration. 4 Tuesday. August 13. 1996 SIGNAL
Opinions Editor Tom Lasseter Opinions
Recording the Opinions of Georgia State University Spirit without compromise For thirty-six years it has defined the spirit of competition. For over three decades it has embodied the ide als of human triumph and determination. Passed over by the crass commercializa tion of most other large scale events, it Tom Lasseter has remained true to Editor-in-Chief the more pure and in tense elements of sport. Forsaking hype for substance, it is one of the few large scale competitions left unmarred by the empty rhetoric of poor losers and greedy victors. This Thursday the 1996 Paralympic Games will come to Atlanta. Over 120 countries will be represented by 3,500 athletes participating in 17 official sports. Fierce competitions will be waged in cycling, rugby, basketball, judo and a host of Daylight come and Juan go home other sporting events. Many of the track and field scores will be world class across the board— Juan Antonio united to accept a challenge that would place At without or without prosthetic limbs. Samaranch can kiss my lanta on the map. Most everyone knows about At Do not come expecting obnoxious television grits. He became the un lanta now. Unfortunately, they also know what the coverage. Do not come expecting everyone to be spoken hero after an international press has said. wearing Nikes and participating in ads bearing nouncing the 1996 games I can tell you first hand that the press blew the messages along the lines of: "Day 1: Wave a flag. would go "to the city of bombing of the Olympic Park into stellar propor Day 2: Crush dreams of others." There is no room Atlanta." We loved him tions. I found myself down at the Olympic Park fes for silly displays of MTV sports ethic. Tickets will and the IOC for their de tivities the night of the bombing. At 1:30am, I was not be costing a million dollars. A medal means cision to entrust in us the sitting near The House of Blues when 1 heard the a lot here. Self-pity is not an option. opportunity to host the loud bang. After 5 minutes of speculation everyone's Try to visualize it— a scenario in which the world. Then, he slapped curiosity got the best of us. We started following actual competition is the main focus. The inter us in the face by saying the crowds towards the park, and when we got to national press will not be whining. There will be the games were "excep the entrance gate we saw a mass exodus onto no massive police street sweeps of homeless Michael Driscoll's tional." This was a far cry Techwood Drive. people. Billy Payne will not be the czar of all that Opinion from his usual speech of We heard rumors of gun shots, bombs, speak moves. Downtown will not be a militarized zone. "the greatest games ever," ers blowing up and explosions used during the The cost of renting a piece of residential prop which is the IOC mark of a job well done. So, we shows. The mood was mostly one of curiosity. One erty will not skyrocket. There will be no contin hosted the "exceptional" games. John Anthony guy was yelling, "Damn, all the beer stands are clos gent of disgruntled vendors. 5am-I-am can have an exceptional ride back to his ing." Most noticeably was the media frenzy which No, none of these affronts to basic urban ci exceptional home and sit on his exceptional butt was quite grotesque. As usual the camera crews vility will occur as the result of the Paralympics. for the next four years until we are graced by his sought out crying women and pissed off men. How Instead, there will be both triumph of sport and exceptional presence in Sydney. Let us put things original. The media played an important role in proclamation of spirit. The same venues, the into perspective. Juan was the former functionary putting a bad face on Atlanta. In true southern style same events and nothing near the hassle of a for fascist dictator Francisco Franco. Nuff said. and grace we escorted these people back over the three week display of all the pomp that a dollar I will be the first to admit we had some prob state line and immediately started talking about can muster. lems with computers, MARTA personnel and ath them. The south has had hard times before and a If the 1996 Olympics were to be run through lete transportation. We must not forget the street little tugging of our city wide string is nothing that a strainer that sifted out all elements foreign to vendors who were promised their own gold and the will shake us for long. the philosophies of international brotherhood tragic bombing. So we sucked wind on a few things. Atlanta, we did it. We let the world in and ush and individual accomplishment, what would be Big deal. We sold more tickets than L.A. and ered them out with style. What happened in be left over would be the 1996 Paralympics. Barcelona combined. We made these games pos tween was good fun, wonderful athletics, cool ven Drama. Intensity. Excellence in competition. sible through private contributions to prevent the ues, paved streets, new street signs and a few mis Victory of the human spirit. The real thing starts ongoing problems other countries are enduring takes. The Olympics didn't stop and neither shall Thursday. Be there. where public funds were used. I think we as a city we.
gjgIUU Editor-in-Chief Advertising Manager Photography Editor Dean of Students Media Advisor Tom Lasseter Lee Miller Ellen Ostapower Heifers Vickie Suggs News Editor Assistant Advertising Manager Copy Editor Media Consultant Matthew Wright Donald Hall Rita Birger George Greiff Asst. News Editor Production Manager Distribution Manager Louie Maria Valdivieso Michael Weil Phillip Zalleski
Send all correspondence to: Signal, Box 386 University Plaza, Atlanta, GA 30303 or stop by room 200 University Center. Telephone 404-651-2242. Fax line 404-651-1045. Internet address: GSU [email protected]. Letters to the editor are strongly encouraged and every effort is made to print your letter in its entirety. However, the Signal does reserve the right to edit for clarity, content or length. Include your name and ID number on all letters to the editor. SIGNAL Twesdjy. luly 1996
Sports Editor Bud L. Ellis
Associate Editor Rob Manley Sports
Covering Georgia State University Sports
Budman's Beat Olympics at GSU go out with a Bang
By Bud L. Ellis bronze). Staff Writer Pre-competition talk was of the Asian nations and their BANG! dominance. The results don't No, not the sound of Kerri lie: of the 15 medals given out Strug nailing that one-foot at GSU, 14 went to Indonesia, landing. China, South Korea and Ma No, not the sound of laysia. The other medal, in Michael Johnson destroying men's singles, went to Poul- Bud L. Ellis the world record in the 200 Erik Hoyer-Larsen of Den Sports Editor meters. mark, the first Dane to win a No, not the sound of the badminton gold medal. I can't remember what U.S. women's soccer, gymnas As far as American hopes, year it was. It must have tics and basketball teams giv singles player Kevin Han had been 1986 or 1987,1 think. ing every little girl something the Den on Decatur rocking, I'm not sure. It was a dare, so to speak. A friend of mine "As far as American hopes, singles dared me to go see a palm reader. So, being one who player Kevin Han had the Den on liked challenges, I scraped up 30 bucks and headed to Decatur rocking, albeit briefly." the first fortune teller my bicycle came across. to reach for. albeit briefly. After winning The place was small Bang is the sound of bad the first game of his first- and unimpressive at first minton; at least it was at the round singles match, chants glance. But something Centennial Olympic Games. of "USA! USA!" filled the air. made me drop my bike Inside the GSU Sports Arena, But Han dropped the next two The blue marathon line brought runners through the GSU outside and enter. Inside bang meant Bang Soo Hyun. games to lose the match. campus Photo by Ellen Ostapower Heifers — Signal this crackerbox-sized The South Korean smashed Like every other Olympic room sat a middle-aged her way to a gold medal in venue, the bombing of Cen man with glasses and a women's singles, doing so tennial Olympic Park had no warm smile. without losing a game. impact on attendance at GSU. Next: the Paralympics "What is it you've In the semifinals Bang Fans filled the GSU Sports By Bud L. Ellis spirit. come to find out?," he said. slammed Indonesia's Susi Arena to capacity nearly ev Staff Writer "Celebrating the Hu Well, 1 said,I wanted to Susanti, the crown princess of ery day. man Spirit" is the theme of know what lies ahead in badminton. Susanti had to For those who have sat at And the Games con this year's Paralympics. my future. settle for a bronze medal af GSU sporting events and won tinue. The Opening Ceremonies, "Are you a native of ter winning gold in Barcelona dered what it would be like to On Thursday night in hosted by actor Christo these parts?," he asked. in 1992. Partly as a result, the have the place filled for some side the Olympic Stadium, pher Reeves, promise to Sure,I said. 1 was born Indonesian minister of sport thing besides commence the Xth Paralympic Games hold the same pageantry as in Atlanta and lived in found himself apologizing to ment, this was it. will kick off with the Open the Olympics' kickoff party. Douglasville since I was the country for Indonesia's And now, like all other ing Ceremonies. Beginning The Olympic Cauldron will two. poor Olympic performance good things, it's come to an Friday and lasting through be lit by the Paralympic "Well, sit down, I've (one gold, one silver, two end. Sunday, Aug. 25, the sec flame, ignited last Monday got a vision I want to tell ond largest sporting event by the eternal flame at the you." The shuttlecocks and rackets have been taken home. in the world this year will gravesite of Martin Luther So I took a seat, hav Olympic badminton has come and gone from Georgia encompass the Atlanta King, Jr. The torch relay ing no idea what this fool State University and, in case you missed it, here's who area. began last week in Wash was going to profess to mined gold from the concrete campus: Many of the sites that ington, D.C., and reached me. He leaned back in his served as Olympic venues Georgia soil Sunday. MEN'S SINGLES: chair, closed his eyes and Gold: Poul-Erik Hoyer-Larsen, Denmark will pull it off again, wel The Paralympics be began to speak: Silver: Dong Jiong, China coming a total of more than gan in Rome in 1960 and "Young man, I have a Bronze: Rashid Sidak, Malaysia 3,500 athletes from 121 na have been held every vision. It's a distant vision, WOMEN'S SINGLES: tions. Georgia State Univer fourth year since. Seven a view of the year 1996. I Gold: Bang Soo Hyun, South Korea sity welcomes goalball to times the event has taken foresee a great party." Silver: Mia Audina, Indonesia the GSU Sports Arena just place in either the city or Bronze: Susi Susanti, Indonesia Yeah, I said. That's days after Olympic bad country that has hosted great. I like a great party, MEN'S DOUBLES: minton wrapped up com the Summer Olympics. Sev though. He continued: Gold: Rexy Mainaky and Ricky Subagja, Indonesia petition. enteen sports (14 of which Silver: Cheah Soon Kit and Yap Kim Hock, Malaysia "In the year 1996 your Bronze: S Antonius and Denny Kantono, Indonesia Goalball is a game de are Olympic sports and hometown, Atlanta, will signed for the blind. It uti two demonstration sports) host millions of people. WOMEN'S DOUBLES: lizes a ball equipped with will take place in the At Gold: Ge Fei and Gu Jun, China Everybody from every Silver: Gil Young-ah and Jang Hye-ock, South Korea bells to help the players lanta Paralympics. corner of the globe will Bronze: Qin Yiyuan and Tang Youngshu, China follow it. The object is to Venues are spread come to visit, to compete, put the ball in a goal. from shooting at Wolf to have a good time. It will MIXED DOUBLES: Gold: Gil Young-ah and Kim Dong-moon, South Korea Just like soccer. Creek to yachting on Lake be a period in mid-summer Silver: Ra Kyung-min and Park Joo-bong, South Korea Just like hockey. Lanier. and it will be wonderful." Bronze: Liu Jianjun and Sun Man, China The only difference is Okay, whatever. Surely the competitors have a MEDAL BREAKDOWN: Tickets to goalball in the this nut wasn't talking Gold Silver Bronze Total physical disability. But GSU Sports Arena can be about the Olympics. China 1 1 2 4 what they may lack in purchased for $15. Details: Indonesia 1 1 2 4 "In the months and South Korea 2 2 0 4 physical ability Paralympic Ticketmaster, (404) 249- See "Budman," page 6 Malaysia 0 1 1 2 athletes make up for in 6400. Denmark 1 0 0 1 fe Spprfs Tu«?»day, August li. 1 996 SIGNAL
While the world was focused on Atlanta for the Centennial Olympic Games, the Georgia State Panthers and Lady Pan Despite glitches, Atlanta pulls thers announced their 1996-97 basketball schedules. Here's a look at where GSU will be spending its winter nights off Centenial Olympic Games
"Budman" from page 5 ing legend will rise up and win be this great park where the a gold medal when nobody world comes together to hang 1996-97 GSU MEN'S years leading up to the sum else gave him a chance. A de out and have a good time. But mer of 1996, hard work will be fending champion will be dis some jerk will set off a bomb, BASKETBALL SCHEDULE done in Atlanta. And the result qualified. A man who couldn't killing two and injuring 111. of that work will be wondrous even pole vault four years The people of Atlanta and the Nov. 7 'Bandigo Braves TBA things." prior will become the world's world will come together, Nov. 22 SOUTHERN WESLEYAN 7:30 p.m. Like what, 1 asked. greatest athlete. A man will though, don't you worry. Nov. 26 @ Georgia 7:30 p.m. "Well, for starters, it will capture two gold medals in They will reopen the park and begin with a wonderful cer Dec. 1 @ Tennessee 2:00 p.m. two different events, a great continue in the spirit of this emony inside a new stadium. scowl turning into a smile at grand event. Dec. 7 @ Auburn 1:30 p.m. : A new stadium that will be last. "It will all end after 16 Dec. 11 COVENANT COLLEGE 7:30 p.m. ; built where your grandfather "In a domed stadium two days, ending in the new sta Dec. 14 @ Troy State 4 p.m. ; use to park when he took you basketball teams will march dium. Musical legends, from Dec. 16 @ Winthrop 7 p.m. to see the Braves play." to gold medals, one disap B.B. King to Stevie Wonder to Dec. 21 @ Ga. Southern TBA 1 wanted to get up and pointing along the way, the the Pointer Sisters to Faith Hill Dec. 30 TROY STATE 3:30 p.m. leave but I was intrigued. other magnificent. In that to Gloria Estefan, will sing on Jan. 2 CAMPBELL 7:30 p.m. What did this guy have in same stadium a woman with the same stage. Athletes from Jan. 4 CHARLESTON 3:30 p.m. | mind? a squeaky voice and a lion's 197 countries will storm the Jan. 9 @ Florida International TBA "A ceremony where ev heart will capture the world, field, dancing and singing. erybody comes together as Jan. 11 @ Florida Atlantic 8 p.m. clinching a team gold medal More than 83,000 will be in the one," he continued. "Where on a bum ankle. Her coach will stands, rejoicing in the feeling Jan. 13 UNC-ASHEVILLE 7:30 p.m. pickup trucks and country carry her back to the medal of it all." Jan. 16 STETSON 7:30 p.m. music bring the world to its stand as a nation fights back Some party, 1 said. Jan. 18 @ Central Florida 7:30 p.m. feet. Where a former boxing tears of pride." "Yeah, almost as big as Jan. 23 SAMFORD 7:30 p.m. ! champion stands tallest in a Wow, I said. Sounds like when the Braves won the Jan. 25 JACKSONVILLE STATE 3:30 p.m. moment that brings the Presi heaven. World Series." Jan. 30 @ S.E. Louisiana 8:05 p.m. dent of the United States to "There's more. A softball Ilaughed at that unbeliev Feb. 1 @ Centenary 8:05 p.m. tears. team will lose a game because able though. Now, what about Feb. 3 @ Mercer 7:30 p.m. "Then, under the glow of a player forgot to touch home me, 1 asked. Feb. 6 S.E. LOUISIANA 7:30 p.m. a great flame, athletic compe plate on a home run, then "During this time you will tition starts. All over the state. come back to win the gold. A Feb. 8 CENTENARY 7:30 p.m. be doing what you enjoy From a new swimming arena soccer team will win a gold most, writing about sports. Feb. 15 MERCER 3:30 p.m. to a great lake in Gainesville medal in Sanford Stadium." You'll be getting paid for it, Feb. 20 @ Jacksonville State 8 p.m. — where you will spend a lot They can't play soccer in too. And, check this out, you'll Feb. 22 @ Samford TBA of time that summer — to the Sanford Stadium, I said. What meet a girl." streets of Atlanta, athletes will about the hedges? I believed all of it until the * — exhibition compete." "They'll be removed." last part. I shook my head in Home team in CAPS Interesting,I said. 1 wasn't God, 1 thought. Vince disbelief and got up to leave. even sure where Gainesville Dooley and Larry Munson "Believe, my son," the was but I was, by this point, would have to be killed before man said. "Believe." hanging on every word . that could happen. As I walked out I glanced "In the pool, an American Surely, I said, there will be at the name on the door: 1996-97 GSU WOMEN'S will win four gold medals. A problems. William Payne, profes former Olympic champion "Yes, there will be prob sional dreamer, it said. BASKETBALL SCHEDULE will not win a single medal, lems. Computer problems. Hey Billy, 1 say now, as a but will continue to smile for Transportation problems. native Atlantian in the after everyone. Great races will be Nov. 13 *Team Champion 5 p.m. Then there's the bomb." math of these Olympic held here. The what? Games, just two words. Nov. 23 ALABAMA STATE 1 p.m. "At the new stadium, a liv- "The bomb. See, there will Thank you. Dec. 7 FLORIDA A&M 1 p.m. Dec. 13 @ San Diego State 10 p.m. Dec. 15 @ Cal. State-Fullerton 6 p.m. Pediatric Vaccine Studies Dec. 19 DAYS INN CLASSIC CREATIVE?- conducted by (Charleston Southern, South Alabama, Jackson State) COMPUTER LITERATE? Emory University Dec. 20 DAYS INN CLASSIC (THIS IS THE 90s NOW) — Dec. 31 @ UNC-Asheville 2 p.m. • Vaccines are administered free of charge. Jan. 2 CHARLESTON 5 p.m. Jan. 4 CAMPBELL 1 p.m. WANNA SEE YOUR • Parents will be reimbursed for travel expenses. Jan. 9 @ Florida Atlantic 7 p.m. STUFF IN PRINT? • Clinics are held on Saturday morning in the Jan. 11 @ Florida International TBA Pediatric Clinic at Emory University Jan. 14 CUMBERLAND 5 p.m. The SIGNAL is a @ Mercer 7:05 p.m. Jan. 18 great place to Study 1: Jan. 23 S.E. LOUISIANA 5 p.m. Jan. 25 JACKSONVILLE STATE 1 p.m. expand your Meningitis (Meningococcal) vaccine. Jan. 27 @ Georgia 7:30 p.m. graphic design skills Children must be 3 to 5 years old. Feb. 1 @ Stetson 5:15 p.m. in a Study 2: Feb. 4 @ Georgia Tech 7 p.m. state-of-the-art Feb. 6 FLORIDA ATLANTIC 5 p.m. Macintosh publishing Combination vaccine for HIB/hepatitis B. Feb. 8 MERCER 5 p.m. Children must be 12-15 months old Feb. 13 @ Jacksonville State 8 p.m facility. Feb. 15 @ S.E. Louisiana 6 p.m. To find out if your child is eligible Feb. 20 CENTRAL FLORIDA 5 p.m. Stop by room 200 for either study, please contact the Feb. 22 STETSON 1 p.m. in the University Feb. 27 @ Campbell TBA Center for details research nurse staff at Mar. 1 @ Charleston 3 p.m. 404-727-4044 * — exhibition BTW-you can make a The study is being conducted by Harry Keyserling M.D., Home games in CAPS little $$$ in the process Associate Professor of Pediatrics at Emory University School of Medicine. SIGNAL Tuesday, luly 199k Features 2
Features Editor Lauren Swartzentruber Gwyrveth Paltrow shows her rtot-so- bright side in "Emma" Associate Editor page 9 Victoria Scharf DeCastro
Covering Georgia State University Student Life 'tlYUYKl' is Smart but not'Clueless'
By Chris Parmelee Paltrow), the film's young Staff Writer heroine (in "Clueless" her name is Cher and she's played Emma " by Silverstone), maintains a Dir. Douglas McGrath modicum of splendour while Upshaw and Richey living on her father's comfort Uma...Oprah, Emma...Cher able, small-town estate. "Emma," a period-ro Emma thinks highly of Critics of the movie "Emma," starring Gwyneth Paltrow, claim it's the first time that Jane mance based on the novel of herself and her place on the Austen's pushy but loveable heroine has made it to the big screen. As if. "Clueless," in which the same name, provides the town's social ladder, but to Alicia Silverstone plays slangy Beverly Hills teen Cher Horowitz, is also based on Austen's Barnes and Noble set with yet her credit she is also consid book. Here's how the the two film characters match up. CTl urj n_ another chance to escape to erate of the feelings of other that time and place they hold people. She feeds the poor, for so dear: 19th century En instance, suffers the conver gland. sation of boorish spinsters Jane Austen wrote the and tries to hook her friends book (even if you didn't know up with love interests. that, it would have been a Unfortunately her efforts good guess) and to judge from towards the latter—especially the adulatory din that greeted in the case of a sweet but un last year's Austen flicks, refined girl named Harriet "Sense and Sensibility" and (Toni Collette) whom she "Persuasion," many people wishes to pair with the local will have read it. The rest of vicar (Alan Cumming)—are us will have to settle for a hopelessly misguided. Her more contemporary reference matchmaking does not reveal point: last summer's any expertise in the area of "Clueless," the slang-filled love, rather total perplexity comedy starring Alicia and fear. Fixing people up ac Silverstone that was also cording to an elaborate code based on Austen's book. of social do's and don'ts is the When it came out, cinema only way that Emma can think literati treated "Clueless" like of to impose order on the cha a mangy sibling of the other otic world of human passions. Emma Cher two movies. It was directed by The period sets and cos Age 20 16 Amy Heckerling and to upper- tumes in "Emma" are detailed, crust filmgoers a Jane Austen but not absurdly lavish. Also, a delicate flower A Betty adaptation set in latter-day everyone in the cast manages Physical appearance Beverly Hills from the same to give an engaging perfor Drives horse and buggy Drives Jeep woman who made "Fast mance. Transportation Times at Ridgemont High" Paltrow speaks with a "Dear" "Dude" seemed illegitimate—at best, convincing English accent Best friend calls her a way to make teenagers swal (she's American) and makes "D" (short for Dionne) low something good for them her character likeable even She calls best friend "Dear" without their knowing it. when behaving Archery, painting, knitting, Aerobics, shopping, photography In theory, maybe updat upperhandedly. Jeremy Hobbies makeovers, matchmaking makeovers, matchmaking ing Jane Austen with an alter Northam lends the character native rock soundtrack and of Mr. Knightly, Emma's truest Feeds soup to poor and sick Captain of disaster-relief drive the girl from the Aerosmith friend, chivalry and charm. Charity work at school videos does sound like the "Emma" is a fine literary method that vets suggest for adaptation and solid enter Unites governess with rich Unites two teachers, then administering a pill to sick tainment. It just lacks the vi Matchmaking prowess landowner, then mistakenly mistakenly tries to fix up friend pets: crumble it up in their brant expressiveness that tries to fix up friend with with guy named Elton. bowl with dinner and they Heckerling and Silverstone guy named Elton. won't even notice the differ brought to "Clueless." ence. Still, "Clueless" with all It's too bad that those Best piece of romantic "Do not let your feelings show "Sometimes you have to show a of its modern embellishments viewers who would probably advice until you are sure of his." a little skin" ( "jeepin'" and "surfing the most appreciate Cher's mo crimson wave" are not topics ments of sarcastic bril 2nd best piece of "When you get married you "Whenever a boy comes over which Austen adressed in her liance—"Freshman psych, romantic advice must eat strawberries." you should always have something book) is a brighter, more so rears its ugly head," she quips baking" phisticated work of satire to a college guy who is trying than "Emma." to analyse her thought pro Dislikes Playing a game called Playing a game called Saying as much amounts cess—are the same folks who "Say Three Things" "Suck and Blow" to high praise because would pass by "Clueless" in "Emma" is a witty and enjoy the video store and say, "As Brush with danger Robbed in woods Robbed in Valley able movie in its own right. if." by Gypsies. by hood. Emma Woodhouse (Gwyneth a Feature? Tuesday. August ii. 1990 SIGNAL Native Americans celebrate the Olympics
By W. lohn Naughton iar with, it was au had 3,000 fans at one place Staff Writer thentic." His wife, all decked out in feathers and Alex, is Cherokee, and body paint. It was wild," said You can't possibly have she commented that, Secola. missed the Olympics—even if "It helped the foreign Some of the dances were: you wanted to—but you prob ers get away from the the Southern Cloth Dance, a ably missed the premier "Dis cowboy and Indian Traditional Buckskin Dance, cover Native America '96," a image they've seen in Women's Fancy Shawl Dance, Native American pow-wow. the movies and it Women's Jingle Dress Dance, Sure, if you're like most helped show them the Fancy War Dance, a Men's people, you might have seen what we're really like. Grass Dance, Men's Tradi the tents from the North Av In fact, 1 heard a lot of tional Dance, and the Men's enue MARTA station, and you people saying it was Southern Straight Dance. might have heard the music the best they've seen, As with the singers, the and the drums. You might and the best one in dance groups explaine dthe have even seen the dancers years. My only com background of their perfor on the street. But if you're plaint is that people mances. For example, the like most folks, you didn't didn't know about it Fancy War Dance was a direct stop to go in. That's a until the second result of Western shows. The shame—you missed a great week—they didn't indians were asked to give time. have enough public something more colorful, so During the premier pow ity. But it was still they created the Fancy War wow, there were many forms good." Dance based on their old tra of entertainment- For in Many of the art ditional dances. And the stance, The Aztec Fire Danc ists who performed at Women's Fancy Shawl Dance ers were a big hit, and lots of the event are nation is the most modern. It was people wanted to see the alli ally known. Joanne created in the 1960's, and be gator wrestling. There were Shenandoah's angelic came popular. On a more tra as many as 53 different tribes voice earned her the ditional note, The Apache represented at various times 1994 Native Musician Crown Dance was created as during the event, and every of the Year. A. Paul a result of a medicine man's one seemed to enjoy the danc Ortega is a Champion vision. ing. Apache War Dancer. Beverly Newman, a Na- Of course, there were ven Chief Jim Billie is a vaho vendor at the event, dors selling authentic native Seminole Indian Chief said, "It turned out great. The crafts at reasonable prices. and entertainer. music was great. Pow-wow The first booth on the right INCA SON was the is a way for us to teach them and everyone got was selling excellent beef An Aztec Fire Dancer performs for a North Avenue crowd. 1995 Cultural Ambas our culture,
jerky (dried beef), and one of Photo by W.John Naughton— Signal sador of Peru, to talk to each other. A lot of the food tents was selling alli Knifewing was the people are coming here with gator nuggets. Also for sale on the outdoor stage. Then, ley—to him. 1995 Native American Vocalist an open mind, and the only were souvenir items such as of course, there were always Beau Couer d' Alene, an of the Year, Burning Sky is the ones who give some difficulty war bonnets for kids and the outdoor demonstrations Apache Indian living in At Arizona Commission of the are the foreigners. They open-mouthed alligator heads and events. lanta, was a bit sceptical of Arts Entertainers, and Buddy come here putting their hand for adults. Every pow-wow began the pow-wow when he first "Spotted Pony" Big Mountain over their mouth, going 'woo If you've never been to a with the flag dedication cer heard about it. "I'm kind of is a nationally recognized ven woo' and saying, 'how.' But pow-wow, you might have the emony and each tribe danced glad people are ready to ap triloquist. Other artists to per they don't know any better, stereotypical image of its way into the performance preciate our culture, but I'm form on the main stage ranged and when they find out that's drunken Indians dancing area. By the time all the danc a bit sad, too. These things from the Inuit-Eskimo Throat wrong, they all seem to want around a fire, whipping up ers were on the floor, it looked are our heritage, and I'm a Singers to an American-Indian to learn. Many foreigners their courage to attack the like a sea of color and move little afraid it'll be something rap artist. looked at us like Hollywood helpless settlers. Nothing ment. A prayer was then said like a wild west show." But Secola, an Ojibwa Indian show Indians, and a lot of could be farther from the in a Native language, followed after going to the pow-wow, from the group, A Wild Bunch them were not educated in truth. A pow-wow is a giant by singing and drumming. he said, "It was really good. of Indians, said, "This is a fes our culture. For example, party where alcohol, drugs This led to the inter-tribal It was done very well in an tival none of us will forget." they thought we all spoke and firearms are forbidden. dances. educational way, and from The group recently came from the same language. But a lot Pow-wows usually last sev The dancers danced their some of the dances I'm famil a sold out European tour. "We of people are interested in the eral days, and there is non way out of the arena, history of Native Americans, stop dancing competition, and then there was an and I'm glad people are start story-telling, and fellowship explanation of the up ing to realize and learn about during the entire event. coming dance. The us." "Discover Native America dances varied from day Another vendor said, "It's '96" was somewhat unusual. to day, but they never just like school. People are Most pow-wows take place in started without a full coming here with a lot of ques remote areas, and people explanation of what tions." camp out during the event. they were about and Comedian, Drew The Seminole Indian sponsors why. LaCappa, said, "This is a wa felt that it was important to Joanne tered down sort of pow-wow. bring Native culture to a Shenandoah , one of It's more of a demonstration broader audience, and that the last performers on than anything else, but people the Olympics offered an excel the final day, elabo are coming here and learning lent opportunity. rated on each of her while having a good time. I Pow-wows arenot just for songs before she be think that's great. But I'm a watching—people from the gan. For example, she little disappointed about the audience were asked to par told the story of attendance. At some of the ticipate in the dances many Shenandoah. During big pow-wows, there are as times during the two weeks of the Revolutionary War many as 10,000 people a day, the event. In fact, one of the when Washington's and the dance competitions closing events, was an Aztec troops were starving at go on all day long." Friendship Dance, and people Valley Forge, Chief If you missed this pow were urged to come dance in Shenandoah sent him wow, you might want to at the ring. 300 bushels of corn. tend the Seventh Annual Run A typical day saw sev As a way of thanking ning Water Pow Wow, being eral pow-wows, almost con held in Rome, Georgia from him, Washington dedi The Flag Dedication Ceremony is held amidst a decorative pow-wow. tinuous performances in the cated an entire valley— August 31 to September 1. Photo by W. John Naughton — Signal main tent, and performances the Shenandoah Val SIGNAL Tuesday. August li, I *>96 Features 9 Families will want to adopt "Jack" Who shot the sheriff? By Chris Parmelee Coppola too discerning a di release him into the care of Staff Writer rector to allow the movie's fifth grade teacher Miss By \V. lohn Naughton poignant moments to ooze a Marquez (Jennifer Lopez). Staff Writer "Jack" lot of syrup—not even when Thus we get a burly Robin Dir. Francis Ford Coppola Bryan Adams belts out a ten Williams trying to fit into one "Lone Star" Hollywood Pictures der ballad on the soundtrack. of those tiny desk and chair Din John Sayles Due to the above-men combos; playing Shaq during Castle Rock Entertainment In "Jack," a bittersweet tioned medical condition we a recess game of basketball; comedy directed by Francis find Jack Powell the boy-man and pretending to be the "Lone Star" is a murder Ford Coppola, we are asked to living a lonely but well pro- school principal for a confer mystery—sort of. It's a docu believe that the fully-grown vided-for existence in the ence with another kid's mom mentary—sort of. It's a so Robin Williams is actually a beautiful house of his kind- (Fran Drescher). cial commentary—sort of. ten-year-old boy who has the hearted parents. Mom (Diane There are quite a few Special Phots And it's a psychological look body of a 40-year-old man be Lane) and Dad (Brian Kerwin) funny scenes in "Jack," and for Robin Williams stars as a 10- at people. cause he grows four times are his only playmates and Mr. better or worse, one of them year-old kid who looks really Cliff (Stephen Mendillo) faster than normal. Not a bad Woodruff (Bill Cosby), a wise involves a treehouse farting old for his age in "lack." and Mikey (Stephen J. Lang) concept: Aaron Spelling could tutor, oversees Jack's school contest. But, for every laugh, discover a skeleton and a use it to tie up a few loose ing. Woodruff senses that Jack there is also a shameless tug such potentially saccharine rusty sheriff's badge on an ends concerning Ian Zierling's needs the company of other at our heartstrings. The film moments with a modicum of abandoned rifle range. So ongoing portrayal of Steve on children his own age, how makers are not about to let us tastie, quietly taking us aside now the question is, who shot "Beverly Hills 90210." It's not ever, and suggests to the forget that if Jack keeps grow and asking for a small dona the sheriff? That's what Sam, a bad movie either: Williams Powells that he be allowed to ing at the same rapid pace he tion of tears instead of crank (Chris Cooper) the sheriff, has is too talented a comedian not attend public school. Reluc will soon become an old man. ing up the homilies and pass to find out. It's a murder mys to elicit some big laughs and tant at first, they eventually Fortunately, Coppola handles ing around a plate. tery, but it happened forty years ago. Sam's first suspect is his dead father who is about to be MicroMash CPA Review honored with a statue in the Session Mode lime Category Restrictions Reports Options Help town square, and for whom the courthouse is being named. Local folklore has Buddy Deeds confronting the Pass the CPA Exam. corrupt sheriff, Charley Wade (Kris Kristofferson) and run The very next time. ning him out of town—sup posedly after stealing $ 10,000 Guaranteed*. in town funds. So who shot the sheriff? Otis Payne (Ron Canada) The MicroMash CPA Review might know. He's the owner of the local black hangout, and he was around when Wade was in his prime. It's all you need to pass. Through Otis, the viewer gets to see race relations at their ugliest. Mayor Hollis Pogue (Clifton James) might know something—he was one of Wade's deputies—but he's Refund not talking. So who shot the sheriff? Sayles brilliantly moves the story forward in a semi- documentary fashion by fad ing into past scenes that hap Or we'll refund your money. pened at various points dur ing the investigation. So we, MULTIMEDIA CD-ROM the audience, are made part VERSION FOR of the investigation. We've had this guarantee for years. Thousands of first-time takers as well as people who tried and failed before with other reviews WINDOWS, TOO! This movie is also about have used our CPA Review over those years. And in all that time, (at the name price!) family relationships. Sam's and after thousands of individual purchasers have qualified for this ex-girlfriend. Pilar Cruz (Eliza guarantee, less than 4% of them have ever requested a refund. k beth Pena) and her mother, What does that tell you? . Mercedes, (Miriam Colon) Even if this is your first time taking the CPA Exam, the computerized Don't be fooled. don't get along. And Colonel MicroMash CPA Review will work for you, too. We'll make this time your last time. And you'll be done with the Exam forever. Delmore Payne (Joe Morton) doesn't get along with his fa Our CPA Review provides discipline. It provides quick content- There's nothing sensitive help on key terms and concepts at the touch of a key, ther, Otis. But Chet Payne plus instant on-line access to much more detailed reference materials else like it. (Eddie Robinson) wants to get as you need them. It even includes a built-in personal instructor to know his grandfather, Otis. for every user —The MicroMash Way* — to guide you, push you, and teach you what you need to know to pass. Bunny (Frances McDonald) a There's nothing else like it. Nothing else works like it. Nothing Call to order or football airhead, unknowingly else succeeds like it. for your free DEMO today. has some vital clues to the It's awesome, and unique. And when you add up everything murder. So who shot the other reviews say you "need" to buy from them, it's an incredible sheriff? bargain, too. 1-800-CPA-PASS, "Lone Star" is about race Why take the risk on anything else? We guarantee you'll pass. relations both past and Ext. 1241 present, and it's about small D MicroMash town life. It's a fascinating look at the past and present, The software solution to the CPA Exam for the past 10 years. and it's a good murder mys Available in DOS, Windows*. CD-ROM for Windows. Multimedia CD-ROM for Windows, and Apple Macintosh* formats. tery. So who shot the sher * ( .r-rt.»m ,ipp!\. C.tll l«'i n-t iplci tk t.aiU 6402 South Troy Circle • Englewood, CO 80111-6424 • (303) 799-0099 < |«»r% M-M ish. ln Rc^i'tcrt'vl'ir.uiciiMrkv Mur*AU*h. Inv. iff? You'll just have to watch All other tr.Rlonurh> .uv piufH-rT\ <>t"their respective companies. Fax: (303) 799-1425 • E-mail: [email protected] and see. ±$L Tuesday. August 13. 1996 SIGNAL DILBERT ® by Scott Adams The Last Word By Mandi Albright Monkee see.
CATBE.PT: EVIL HR DIRECTOR Monkee dial I'VE SEEN THE LIST. SADLY, CATS DON'T > About an hour before I typed HEY, DALLY... BIG I KNOW MORE ABOUT REEP SECRETS VERY LAYOFFS CODING. YOUR FUTURE THAN WELL. this up, I engaged in that most YOU DO. BUT ITS A American of late-night activities: SECRET. I dialed one of those 1-800 num bers to order something I don't really need. This marked only the third time I'd ever purchased any thing "off" the television, so to speak, and as it happened, it marked the third time I'd purchased Monkees parapherna lia through that same medium. I'm not entirely sure why 1 keep buying Monkeemania merchandise this way; maybe somewhere deep in my psycheI believe I'm doing something slightly less odd than, say, investing in one of those gizmos that slices, dices, juliennes and changes flat tires with one mere flick of a switch. There's something infinitely whole WE DON'T DO "LAYOFFS" AS THE NAME IMPLIES, HOW'S wnn LAYOFFS AT THIS COMPANY. BUT YOU GET TO SCURRY THIS YOU GET TO some about ordering classics like "Last Train To Clarksville" AROUND TRYING TO YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED DIFFERENT KEEP YOUR and "Daydream Believer", especially when they're only avail FIND A NONEXISTENT TO PARTICIPATE IN OUR FROM A DIGNITY. able through those "Special TV Offers" (and, coincidentally, MOBILITY POOL.' INTERNAL JOB BEFORE LAYOFF? "Not Sold In Stores"). THE AX FALLS. The first time I ever bought Monkees goodies via a Spe cial TV Offer was way back in 1986, during the group's much- ballyhooed 20th anniversary. Back then, my summer days as a pseudo-latchkey kid (my mom worked from 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. each day so I really didn't have to do the "latchkey" thing; I just hung around the house a lot) were spent watch ing "The Monkees" each weekday at 2 p.m. on channel 36. When this half-hour fun fest ended, I flipped immediately to MTV whereI was bombarded with ads offering me the chance I HEAR YOU'RE ON fI CLAIMED^ I GUE55 ITS TRUE~\ to buy my very own copy of "The Monkees' Tale", a biogra THE LAYOFF LIST, DALLY. IT A FEU WHAT THEY SAY phy of the semi-Fab Four. Natch, I bit. Once I got the book HAS ANYONE CLAIMED MINUTES ABOUT LAYOFFS (six to eight weeks later), I just had to have the "Greatest ; YOUR CHAIR,YET? AGO. I BEING HARD ON Hits of The Monkees" LP. Hey, when you're 13 and a boom- MS THE SURVIVORS. I've never forgotten how cool it felt to brag to my friends, all wide-eyed with wonder at my feat, that I was "getting stuff through the mail — from TV!"
ing male voice tells you it's only $9.95 (plus shipping and DOGBERT: CAREER COUNSELOR handling) if you "act now", you don't ask questions; you act NOW TM BEING DOWN YOUR STORY REMINDS — now. SIZED AGAIN. 00 YOU I WAS FIRED ONCE,BUT ME OF THE PARABLE OF Receiving that book and that LP through the mail THINK THEY'LL BE DUMB I CAfAE BACK AS A I THE ANT AND THE SPIDER counted as one of the greatest experiences of my 13-year- ENOUGH TO HIRE ME CONTRACT EMPLOYEE. old life (buying my first pair of non-Mickey Mouse sunglasses A THIRD TIME? REALLY? LATER I WAS REHIRED and purchasing Motley Criie's "Shout At The Devil" album HOW? THEY'RE AT A HIGHER all by myself from a long-haired record store clerk being the SALARY. BOTH BORING. other two that year). I've never forgotten how cool it felt to brag to my friends, all wide-eyed with wonder at my feat, that I was "getting stuff through the mail — from TV!" Oh, the anguish of seeing the mail truck pass by our house ev ery day without stopping; oh, the joy on the day I finally got my mail-order Monkees merchandise! 1 felt much like little Ralphie on the day he got his Red Ryder BB gun in "A Christ DOGBERT: CAREER COUNSELOR mas Story." Luckily, you can't shoot your eye out with a book YOUR BEST STRATEGY (WE DO THIS FOR ALL THE or an LP so unlike Ralphie, 1 wasn't subjected to constant, IS TO CONVINCE YOUNG EMPLOYEES , AS0K, THE COMPANY WON'T annoying parental admonishment (although my hood-ier LAY YOU OFF IF YOUR CO-WORKERS IU CAPTURE ON VIDEO junior high friends grilled me mercilessly for liking The ENOUGH PEOPLE THAT THEIR JOBS THE EXACT MOMENT Monkees instead of much cooler groups like Dokken). FIRST. ARE INTOLERABLE. THAT YOUR LIFE FORCE LEAVES YOUR So my most recent order-by-mail experience really took I I BODY. me back. Most of all, it reminded me that no matter how old we grow there's still a 13-year-old kid in all of us whose eyes light up in wonder the minute an operator says, "Will this be MasterCard or Visa?" And if we're using our very own MasterCard or Visa in the transaction (not mom's or dad's), the thrill is doubled. Believe you me, nothing beats the feel ing of squandering your own hard-earned money on need —V less bric-a-brac. I know / feel that much more "adult" when GOOD NEWS, WALLY. MOST IS IT JUST ever I'm wasting $26.95 in the span of ten minutes, espe OF OUR SMART EMPLOYEES ME...OR IS cially if I have the added pleasure of telling someone to QUIT TO GET MUCH BETTER THE QUALITY "charge it." JOBS ELSEWHERE. NOW OF"GOOD You can bet I'll be on pins and needles until I get my WE DON'T HAVE TO DO ANY REALLY GOING four-CD Monkees box set. Come to think of it, Ralphie got DOWNSIZING. DOWNHILL his "Little Orphan Annie Decoder Ring" through the mail, LATELY? not his prized Red Ryder BB gun. I may worry, though, if there's a track embedded somewhere in my CDs that im plores me to "drink my Ovaltine." And whatever became of Peter Billingsley? Now you have the last word. E-mail comments about this column to: [email protected] or submit written responses to the Signal, room 200, University Center SIGNAL Tuesday. August 13. 1996
Classifieds have never been easier! The Signal accepts classified ads by phone, fax, or mail. If placing your ad by phone or fax, please have your name, address, phone number, ad, Visa or Mastercard ready. Ads are due Friday at 5:00 p.m. prior to publication. Prepayment required. Call (404) 651 -3623!
SIGNAL Classified ad rates: A one time fee is charged per ad, per week for any Box 386 First 150 Characters: $8.00 extra typesetting options: Capitalized, bold, underline, $.3 £55 University Plaza Each additional character: 3C double point, border, or reverse type (c35/style). Atlanta, GA 30303 404-651-3623
ATTENTION ALL STU 7 3 PT / FX IO DENTS! Over $6 Billion in Announcements public and private sector * $200-$500 WEEKLY * Coming Soon. grants & scholarships is Mailing travel brochures. No now available. All students experience necessary. For Guess what? are eligible. Let us help. information send a self-ad Yep. For more info, call: 1-800- dressed stamped envelope 263-6495 ext F53885 to: Internet Trael, P.O. Box Classifieds 2529C 680610, Miami, FL 33268. 2532C work! 60 90 Computing 20 It won't be anything like today. RAM? CPU? Tutoring Living Guitar Lessons: Here's what You Have to Do! BRIAN DONNELLY. Advertise Here! 10 YearsTeaching Exp. Whatever you Housemate/Nanny needed. 70 Mature housemate needed want to team. or yesterday... Oct in south Grant Park. Employment (404) 627-1692. 2543C $300/mo + util. Fenced in ^TELEMARKETING *** yard, W/D on site. Possible PT: 9:00am - 1:00pm MATH TUTORING. Alge nanny position Feb. 40 hr/ FT: Call for Hours bra thru Calculus. Math wk infant care exch for room SALARY + BONUS anxiety a specialty. 25 or the day before. & board, perf. upper level Avg is $7 - $9 per hour yrs. experience in industry ed. student 404-622-8698 Near Perimeter Mall & college. Competitive 2552C (Dunwoody Train Station) rates. Call now! 770-45 1 - For Details 9800. 40 (770) 242-4800 Child Care 2557C Car Alarm- new in box, Mother's Helper Needed. very loud siren, flashing MARKETING! lights, 2 remote recievers, Need responsible, mature Mature, professional, outgo student who likes children motion sensor, interior ing, college student or sensor, $99, can install to do babysitting, chores. graduate needed to assist Evenings, weekends. (404) 628-61 66 (pgr- Iv restaurant marketing firm. msg).2561C 691-3035. Please Iv. msg. 8am - 12:30pm, Monday - 2541C Friday. Reliable transporta ABORTION CARE tion needed. Receive valu 5-12 Weeks From $200 WITH NO EX Childcare/ Alpharetta able experience, possible TRA CHARGES • awake or asleep IN M-F 2:00-6:00 internship and $9 - $11 per SURANCE ACCEPTED • LATE ABOR TION 13-26 WEEKS IN THE SAFTEY Get the job listing you always 2 girls ages 8 & 10 hour, plus mileage. Contact $8/hr. Great Job! OF A HOSPITAL, NOT A CLINIC OR PMC, Inc. (404) 252-2513 MOTEL wanted. Meet that special some Call Nanny Solutions 2558C (404) 607-7709. MIDTOWN HOSPITAL (404) 875- 3411 one. Find tutoring on demand. Childcare/ Dunwoody Fitness Enthusiast Free Pregnancy Testing Tue-Sat M- Th 4:00-7:00 Nat'l Mktg firm in health/fit PAP SMEAR. GYN EXAM $45 Friday 7:45-5:45 ness industry seeks enthu Female "Band-Aid" Sterilization 1 boy age 4 siastic individuals to help w/ $8/hr. Great Benefits! expansion in Atlanta area. Call Nanny Solutions Flexible hrs. Great $$$. At (404) 607-7709. titude over Resume. Call Pay $29.95 2554C 770-395-0408. 2560C for an ad?!? Loving child care wanted for 72 Full Time 4 and 7 year old in our home, M- F, 8-5. 3 mornings AIRLINE JOBS - Applications off per week possible. Live- are now being accepted for You Gotta be in option. Nonsmoker, must domestic & international The Atlanta Collegiate drive. References required. staff! Flight attendants, Out of Your Sandy Springs. Call Leslie ticketing agents, 404-256-3885 2556C reservationists, ground Gourd! Classified Service. crew + more. Excellent 50 travel benefits! Call Airline Employment Services for Financial Aid details. 1-206-971-3690 Ours? $8.00 Coming Soon. ATTENTION ext. L53881 2530C Don't miss it. ALL STUDENTS!!! GRANTS & SCHOLARSHIPS Courier for Midtown Law AVAILABLE FROM SPON Firm. Full time; benefits pro Call SORS! BILLIONS OF $$ IN vided. You drive our stick COLLEGE MONEY $$$ !!! vehicle. Must prove excel (404) CALL; 1-800-AID-2-HELP lent driving record. Great (1-800-243-2435) FOR student job! Mr Benefield 651-3623 INFO. 2528C 404-892-3737. 2553C LZ. TtK»day, AMguM UL 1996 SIGNAL
;p£-pi
You've read the book. You've taken the class. You have the desire. Put it m into action. The SH,Y*1 is looking for writers, reporters, and production people to 1 help build a better paper & further the experience of those who work on it. Stop by i room 200 of University Center to find out what we can offer you or call 404.651.2242!
• ' •