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Silent sufferers: Female clergy sexual

utting across race, class, occupational status, and sexual C orientation, most sufferers of clergy are thought to be women, though children and men also may be targets of sexual abuse (Center for the Prevention of Sexual and , 1992; Frame, 1996). Clergy can range from verbal harass- ment to violent . When clergy betray their office of trust, their -in appropriate behavior creates anguish, rage, shame, and powerlessness ork,

W for both the church and the victim. In such instances, churches are

ouisville, traumatized and victims feel betrayed and confused (Fortune, 1989; ott Collins ouisville, KY ouisville, L Hopkins & Laaser, 1995; Lebacqz & Barton, 1991; Poling, 1991). It ssociate Professor, ssociate anda L

A is not uncommon for churches to deny reports of clergy misconduct W

University of L University and blame the victim (Kennedy, 2003; Lind, 2005). Such is no

Kent SchoolKent of Social less damaging, spiritually and emotionally, when the victim is female clergy. Sentilles (2008) states, “Women endure sexual , individual , and systemic discrimination on a regular basis. And yet, when asked, most congregants don’t think sexism is a problem in the church” (p.17). although the fear of harassment is a constant reality for female clergy (Lind, 2005) there is a paucity of empirical data concern- ing , especially as it relates to within the church (Birchard, 2000; Frame, 1996). Lind (2005) states, “Female pastors are concerned about protecting themselves from unwelcomed approaches. Male pastors are concerned about protect- ing themselves against unfair allegations” (p. 77). Although there is a glaring gap in the literature, Seat, Trent, and Kim (1993), show in their research that 76.5% of surveyed clergy admitted having knowl-

10 Baylor University School of Social Work edge of a minister who had engaged in sexual that were not taught in seminary. intercourse with a person affiliated with his the suave salt-and-pepper haired senior church. In another report, Birchard (2000) pastor was married with one adult child living explored the cause of clergy sexual misconduct away from home. His wife stayed home to in a study that examined the behavior of men manage the household. Often working late with adult women. The data showed that the hours or during times when the church was absence of awareness training was the single barely occupied, Kendra noticed the seemingly most important factor in the causation of insignificant comments he made related to misconduct. However, other factors such as her physical appearance. He made comments ambiguity of boundaries that come with the about her hair or the gentle, pleasing scent of role, the neediness of the cleric, and the inat- her perfume. She dismissed it as flattery. She tentiveness of the organizational structure also recalled how he would sit or stand closer than played major roles. she considered appropriate when showing her this article is intended to increase under- documents or during conversations, making standing and address how professional helpers her uncomfortable. Once when she shifted (e.g., members of the clergy, her position to put more physical crime victim/witness protec- distance between them, he inquired tion programs, licensed mental if something was wrong. She health professionals or coun- The data showed replied, “Not really.” Gradually selors, and social workers) can that the absence of he gave her admiring glances when respond to sexual harassment others were not around or he would complaints from female clergy awareness training seek her out in her small office to and to discuss preventative strat- was the single most talk about the stagnation in his mar- egies that can protect church riage. Once he brushed against her. members from its damaging important factor in Again she dismissed any discussion effects. the causation of relative to boundary violation and his too-familiar mannerisms. She CASE VIGNETTE misconduct. convinced herself that if she avoided Consider Kendra’s story him, he would get the message and that was shared during a per- give her more physical space and sonal interview. Although she could still work within the church. personal details have been changed to pro- things changed when the pastor tect her identity, her narrative illustrates this informed her that his wife was out of town prevalent problem within ministerial relation- and asked if she would stop by his home for ships. dinner and dessert. His emphasis on DES- Kendra is the fictitious name of a 55- SERT was a strong clue that he did not mean year-old mother of five who acknowledged her Jell-O. Kendra finally confronted the pastor calling to preach at 46 years of age. Similar about his implication that she would become to others, she wrestled with the inner call to romantically involved with him. Rather than serve in ministry. Finally her sense of purpose apologize, he shamed her and told her how and growing commitment led her to enroll in ungrateful she was for all he was doing for her. seminary and complete a Master’s of Divinity from this point on she increased her degree. While she was at seminary she served avoidance of him but felt guilty and alone. She an urban congregation of 200 people with the felt that there was no one she could tell. The male senior pastor and one male associate. At pastor was very persuasive and had a likeable first she was impressed and grateful that the personality. He could convince people that she senior pastor gave her so much personal at- was the problem, which would mean that she tention and taught her basic day-to-day duties would probably be asked by the congregation

Family and Community Ministries 11 to leave. Within a year, Kendra left the church according to the National Women Law presuming that the congregation would merely Center (2000) sexual harassment is wide- dismiss her complaint and deny her allegations spread and affects women in every workplace without direct proof. She reasoned that the setting and at every level of employment. No ongoing stress of trying to prove her complaint occupation is immune from sexual harassment, was too much to endure. but the incidence of harassment is higher in For Kendra the trust that she had placed workplaces that have traditionally excluded in the senior pastor over a period of two years women. Very few harassed women, only 5% to was shattered. She had a fervent desire to 15%, formally report problems of harassment. preach and had invested in seminary educa- The report indicates that women are some- tion to honor and prepare for the sacred calling times reluctant to make allegations of sexual of God. Likewise, the congregation had evalu- harassment for a number of reasons. Their ated and affirmed her calling with joy. How reluctance includes fear of losing their jobs or does she ignore the call for service and spiri- otherwise damaging their careers, fear of not tual ministry in her life? What church would being believed, the belief that nothing can or accept her if the senior pastor disparaged her will be done about the harassment, and embar- name and reputation? How does she effective- rassment or shame at being harassed (Garland, ly respond to the pastor’s pressure and the fact 2006; Lind, 2005). that sexual harassment would put her ministry Sexual harassment often has a serious at risk? Kendra felt trapped because she had and negative impact on women’s physical and less social power, while he had wisdom, power, emotional health; the more severe the harass- position, and the heart and trust of the people. ment, the more severe the impact. The reac- tions frequently reported by women include THE IMPACT OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT anxiety, depression, sleep disturbance, weight Sexual harassment can take many forms, loss or gain, loss of appetite, and headaches including requests for sexual favors, unwel- (Frame, 1996; National Women Law Center, come sexual advances, or other conduct of a 2000). Socially, people may distance them- physical, verbal or visual nature that is un- selves from a complainant because they don’t welcome and offensive.I t can be a supervisor want to get involved or don’t understand what who requires sexual activity in order to keep she is experiencing. a job or receive a promotion. It may come Every clergy or minister is a symbol of from co-workers who create a hostile working religious authority. By virtue of the pastoral environment by making suggestive or demean- office, the minister interprets religious truth, ing comments; displaying sexual objects or pic- the meaning of life, the way of faith, and even tures; telling dirty jokes; or touching, patting, the reality of God (Chibnall, Wolf, & Duckro, or pinching (New Hampshire Commission 1998; Poling, 2005; Robinson, 2004). Add to on the Status of Women, 1997). Lind (2005) that status the power of the pastor’s presence states that sexual harassment is more about through ministry, and the special influence a power than about sex and it can also take the minister holds among his or her congregation. form of manipulation of a situation that threat- In addition, female clergy supervised by senior ens the integrity of the other person. In the male clergy may develop a special trust that church, it is primarily experienced by women, can lead to openness and vulnerability. Feeling but not exclusively (p.77). Another form of bonds of trust and affirmation, female clergy sexual harassment is quid pro quo (“this for may bring the vulnerable, wounded, and inti- that”) in which someone with power over an- mate sides of themselves into the relationship, other person offers some kind of advantage in seeking acceptance, emotional support, and a exchange for sexual favors (Friberg & Laaser, role model. When the male clergy exploits his 1998, p. 60). privileged position for personal sexual satisfac-

12 Baylor University School of Social Work tion, he violates a sacred trust that is contrary incidences of female sexual harassment. to Christian morals, doctrine, and canon laws. 1. Increase Awareness Training – Because Because of the respect and even reverence the of differences in Biblical interpretation, many position carries, there is an imbalance of power churches do not recognize or advocate for and hence a vulnerability inherent in the min- women in ministerial roles as God’s spiri- isterial relationship (Chibnall, Wolf, & Duck- tual leaders. Therefore, in their role as God’s ro, 1998; Poling, 2005; Robinson, 2004). In spiritual authority, male clergy usually have these circumstances, this imbalance of power the benefit of a significant power differential makes it the responsibility of the church leader with respect to female clergy (Birchard, 2000; to maintain appropriate emotional and sexual Kennedy, 2003). Male clergy should receive boundaries with colleagues. Once violated, ongoing awareness training regarding this the female clergy may feel deep shame or self- imbalance and be instructed in behaviors that condemnation. She may be afraid others will may violate or blur the boundaries of a profes- not believe her or sional relationship. fear being blamed Awareness by church officials training can also or members. The benefit male clergy sad consequence regarding ways to is that many times effectively address the female clergy their emotional, can experience a physical, and crisis of faith and personal needs even leave the related to minis- Church altogether, try. For example, believing that when male clergy neither God nor encounter personal the body of Christ problems (i.e., was present in her marital, loneli- suffering F( rancis ness, or neediness), & Turner, 1995). requesting help Sexual harassment from professional may affect prayer, psychotherapists one’s image of God, and one’s relationship to or trusted mentors would involve less risk than God (Chibnall, Wolf, & Duckro, 1998). seeking out female clergy as sympathizers. Awareness training could increase sensitivity PREVENTION STRATEGIES about male power issues, significantly mini- Sexual misconduct is a troubling matter mize the danger of boundary violations, and for communities and especially congregations. promote actions and behaviors that are consid- When it occurs among female clergy who ered safe, acceptable, and respectful. have responded to a sacred call, it represents 2. Require Specialized Ministerial Training a distortion of power and trust. Sadly, sexual in Counseling – Similar to other professionals misconduct damages the morale of the entire whose duties may include the need to counsel church body. However, churches show wisdom others, ministers also struggle with receiv- when they take action to address the broken- ing specialized training and demonstrating ness and pain experienced by the church expertise in counseling techniques within the and female clergy. The following is not an scope of ministry. Even though male clergy exhaustive list of prevention strategies but it is receive training in theology, many are not offered as a guide to assist churches in reducing equipped to deal with diverse and complex

Family and Community Ministries 13 human problems and be composed of public needs (Kennedy, 2003). members experienced in Likewise, many may not sexual offences and cases of have received clinical professional abuse. There supervision in counseling, should be victim support training in transference systems in place, includ- (unresolved feelings, ing tracking systems to conflicts, and dependen- follow up on both victims cies of the client onto and offenders” (p. 235). the therapist/counselor) This step could ensure that and counter-transference safeguards are in place to (the therapist/counselor’s pursue pastoral and congre- unresolved feelings, conflicts, and dependen- gational accountability and the avoidance of cies onto the client) issues (Kennedy, 2003), or colluding in, covering up, or ignoring sexual instruction relative to standards for profession- harassment or abuse. al ethics (Frame, 1996). Such training would 4. Prevention, Education, and Intervention address the risks regarding inappropriate sexual Training for the Congregation – Prevention, situations, the inherent hazards of the therapy education, and intervention training accessed process, maintaining appropriate boundaries through conferences and in-house programs (Birchard, 2000; Lind, 2005), and the ethics of should be provided to members and various professional behaviors. leaders within the church on a regular basis. the development of such training It is not an uncommon practice for congrega- requirements could help senior clergy in their tions to “blame the victim” when male clergy leadership roles to show care and warmth are guilty of inappropriate sexual misconduct. and to demonstrate competency and trust- Regrettably, the church usually maintains a worthiness when female clergy seek their state of denial regarding sexual misconduct counsel. Without clinical training or expertise, and male leaders will frequently continue to churches should recognize that females seeking hold prominent positions within the church help can be in a vulnerable position. For this while the victimized female experiences shame reason, guidelines should be adopted to assist and trauma. Training should be mandatory male clergy who may be called upon to help within all levels of the church so congregants female clergy needing assistance to cope with can help both male and female clergy be ac- a personal or professional crisis. However, the countable and become skilled in developing responsibility for not breaching the pastoral and assessing policies and complaints. Ad- bond or the balance of power within the pasto- ditionally, the church can seek opportunities ral relationship solely with male clergy. to share its advocacy efforts with others in the 3. Create Written Guidelines and Disciplinary community and model ways to successfully Measures – Churches can benefit from clear respond to complaints, break the continuum of ethical codes, polices, and procedures regard- brokenness, and advocate for change in order ing what constitutes sexual harassment, sexual to help the entire church membership to heal. abuse, or sexual exploitation. These guide- lines and clearly stated disciplinary measures STRATEGIES TO PROMOTE regarding clergy abuse or misconduct will assist THE HEALING PROCESS congregations in providing a safety net for the female clergy need assistance dealing male pastor and those under his leadership. with sexual harassment to minimize feelings Kennedy (2003) states, “Every denomination of guilt, helplessness, frustration, and anger should have policies and a complaints proce- and to advance the healing process. As they dure in place. Discipline committees should reach out to professional helpers for counsel-

14 Baylor University School of Social Work ing or supportive services (e.g., legal assistance ine her choices to determine if she will file and crisis intervention), they can benefit from a complaint, which may result in continued strategies that will help them to honor the sexual harassment, individual discrimination, sacred calling on their lives and to channel a or systemic discrimination (Garland 2006). negative experience into positive energy. The Other options include asking the harasser following strategies, although not exhaustive, to publicly apologize, seeking financial and can break the wall of silence and start the heal- medical damages through the legal system, or ing process: pursuing a form of redress that would include 1. Encourage the Harassed Clergy to restitution to compensate her for counseling. Acknowledge the Violation. People who experi- Should she strive for prompt and remedial ac- ence sexual harassment often feel intimidated, tion, she may be successful in compelling the embarrassed, or humiliated. They also may be church or denominational body to formally fearful of repercussions if they speak up. Fear monitor the harasser and to insist that he par- of ridicule and a sense of hopelessness about ticipate in training and qualified counseling to the dilemma may cause them to ensure that he understands the keep the problem concealed. In damage and inappropriateness of addition, some women affected his conduct (Garland, 2006). may feel that the situation is 3. Validate the Survivor’s When churches deny a “private” one and therefore Pain and Need to Gain Control by they may be reluctant to bring the violation of clergy Taking Back Her Power. Vali- it to the attention of those who dating the hurt and anger and can help. Telling someone else sexual contact they giving voice to the impact of the about the experience is a way of support the perpetrator sexual harassment experience getting help rather than keeping is another way for female clergy it hidden inside. Confiding in rather than the victim. to take charge of her life and someone trustworthy, whether to move from a place of shame. it is another clergy person, a When churches deny the viola- close family member, a good tion of clergy sexual contact friend, or a professional helper, they support the perpetrator is a step toward healing and doing something rather than the victim. The survivor should be about the issue. Ultimately, it is imperative encouraged to share her story with other survi- for her to realize that her feelings are not vors (Fortune, 1989; Garland, 2006), re-estab- abnormal and that there are professionals who lish ties with people she may have distanced can provide the proper assistance to help her herself from because of the harassment, and emotionally and psychologically with her pain. to form relationships with people who will be Fortune (1989), one of the foremost experts supportive. Accepting that sexual harassment on clergy sexual misconduct states, “When happened and that she is not to blame helps victims can give voice to their specific experi- her to view herself as a survivor. She may also ences of violation, the secret loses its potency” find power in participating in victim support (p. 114). agencies or organizations that focus on sexual 2. Advise the Survivor to Investigate Avail- harassment issues, advocating for educational able Options Within and Outside the Church. To programs, sponsoring empowerment seminars respond to the consequences of injustice, the for other female clergy, writing articles relative victim must explore and weigh the available to sexual harassment issues, or lending her options inside the religious system as well as financial and spiritual support to individuals outside the bounds of the denomination or and groups that address the problem. church. Depending on the extent and duration 4. Encourage the Survivor’s Desire to of the harassment, the clergy should exam- Become a Resource to Other Women – De-

Family and Community Ministries 15 pending on the severity and longevity of her Yet, too often faith communities tend to keep trauma, the female clergy may or may not be quiet about measures to address and prevent able to serve as an advocate for other women sexual harassment. Social workers, pastoral in ministry. If she can, she can lend her voice staff, mental health providers, pastors, and and insight to denominational or congre- other helping professionals have a unique op- gational efforts to draft policies regarding portunity to provide support for female clergy sexual harassment. Many congregations are who may seek counseling or spiritual direction independent and many denominations lack about ways to cope and buffer stress in a male- structures to address this issue, so there may or dominated profession. may not be safeguards in place to monitor or Providing care to female clergy may discipline male clergy who misuse their power include advocating for prevention education and authority. When feasible, she may con- within churches and faith-based conferences, sider reading and providing input relative to assisting congregations to create safe environ- proposed sexual harassment policies, accepting ments for vulnerable women, establishing pro- invitations to speak at special policy planning tocols for reporting and investigating reports of meetings, or serving in other capacities that sexual misbehavior, developing proper training are comfortable and appropriate in boundary violation, and iden- to her interest in promoting safe tifying community resources environments for female clergy. that will address intervention 5. Teach the Survivor to and elements of healing follow- Too often faith Embrace the Process of Healing ing reports of sexual miscon- and Recovery. A system that communities tend duct. Moreover, in regards to perpetuates ignorance regard- female clergy, Frame and She- to keep quiet about ing the issues of power, sexual- han (2004) recommend that ity, countertransference, and measures to address professional helpers facilitate professional clergy ethics that is groups for female clergy that left unchallenged can result in and prevent sexual may can help build self-esteem, fragmented and unhealed indi- harassment. buffer isolation and loneliness, viduals and unhealthy boundaries and offer a safe haven for survi- (Robinson, 2004). To embrace vors dealing with personal and the healing and recovery process professional issues. survivors should seriously consider finding Sadly, the misuse of power and the counselors who have experience working with experience of sexual harassment do occur in sexual assault survivors so they can integrate houses of faith. Therefore, professional service the trauma and return to their previous level providers and church leaders are challenged of functioning. If in-house congregational to address the reality of sexual harassment counselors are available, survivors of clergy in the church, which entails the violation of abuse might benefit from individual, group, or trust and the disintegration of a safe working support counseling outside of their denomina- environment. tions or congregations in order to minimize the pressure to forgive too quickly and minimize REFERENCES the effects of sexual harassment. Birchard, T. (2000). Clergy sexual miscon- duct: Frequency and causation. Sexual and CONCLUSION Relationship Therapy, 15 (2), 127-139. Sexual misconduct or sexually inap- Center for the Prevention of Sexual and propriate behavior in the church is troubling Domestic Violence (1992). Clergy sexual and problematic for congregations and female misconduct: Sexual abuse in the ministe- clergy within the ministerial relationship. rial relationship. Seattle, WA.

16 Baylor University School of Social Work Chibnall, J. T., Wolf, A. & Duckro, P. N. women. Retrieved December 20, 2007, (1998). A national survey of sexual trau- from http://www.unh.edu/womens- ma experiences of Catholic nuns. Review commission/legal-handbook/harassment. of Religious Research, 40 (2), 142-167. html. Frame, M. W. (1996). The influence of gender Poling, J. N. (1991). The : A and gender-pairings on clergy’s identifica- theological problem. Nashville, TN: tion of sexually ambiguous behavior as abington, Press. sexual harassment. Pastoral Psychology, 44 Poling, J. N. (2005). God, sex, and power. (5), 295- 304. Theology & Sexuality, 11 (2), 55-70. Frame, M. W. & Shehan, C. L (2004). Care Robison, L. H. (2004). The abuse of power: A for the Caregiver: Clues for the pastoral view of sexual misconduct in a systemic care of clergywomen. Pastoral Psychology, approach to pastoral care. Pastoral Psychol- 52 (5), 369-380. ogy, 33 (5), 395-404. Frances, P. C. & Turner, N. R. (1995). Sexual Seat, J. T., Trent, J. T., & Kim, J. K. (1993). misconduct within the Christian church: The prevalence and contributing factors who are the perpetrators and those they of sexual misconduct among southern victimize? Counseling & Values, 39 (3), Baptist pastors in six southern states. The 218 -228. Journal of Pastoral Care, 47 (4), 363-371. Friberg, N. & Laaser, M. R. (1998). Before the Sentilles, S. (2008). A church of her own: What fall: Preventing pastoral sexual abuse. happens when a woman takes the pulpit. Collegeville, MN: The Liturgical Press. Orlando, FL: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Fortune, M. M. (1989). Is nothing sacred?: Publishing. When sex invades the pastoral relationship. San Francisco: Harper & Row. Garland, D. R. (2006). When wolves wear shepherds’ clothing: Helping women survive clergy sexual abuse. Social Work & Christianity, 33 (1), 1-35. Less and Less Hopkins, N. M. & Laaser, M. (1995). Restoring Soren Kierkegaard the soul of a church: Healing congregations wounded by clergy misconduct. Collegeville, I found I had less and less MN: The Liturgical Press. to say, until finally, I became Kennedy, M. (2003). Sexual abuse of women by priests and ministers to whom they go silent, and began to listen. for pastoral care and support. Feminist I discovered in the silence, Theology, 11 (2), 226-235. the voice of God. Lebacqz, K. & Barton, R. G. (1991). Sex in the Parish. Louisville, KY: Westminster/John Knox Press. Lind, C. (2005). What makes good ministry good? Women in ministry. Theology & Sexuality, 11 (3), 65-88. National Women Law Center (2000). Sexual harassment in the workplace. Retrieved december 20, 2007, from http://www. nwlc.org. New Hampshire Commission on the Status of Women (1997). Legal handbook for

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