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VOLUME 11 ISSUE 3 Hamechanech is published quarterly by Torah Umesorah Publications. MESSAGE FROM THE © Copyright, 2021 HAMECHANECH “Hamechanech” is a trademark of Torah Umesorah. MENAHEL Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.

we are told that Haman was ecstatic that his מסכת מגלה, דף יג, In lottery fell in the month of Adar, being that Moshe Rabbeinu OUR MISSION Torah Umesorah is committed to promoting Jewish died in that month. However, continues the Gemara, Haman continuity by fostering Torah, Jewish values and did not realize that Moshe was also born in that month. Rashi Jewish tradition. In particular its goals are: to the birth of Moshe was establish Torah schools in Jewish communities - ”כדאי הלידה שתכפר על המיתה“ explains powerful enough to override the bad mazel of Moshe’s death. across North America; to enhance the religious infrastructure of these communities; to offer Consider, however, that Rashi uses an interesting choice of training, placement and mentoring of principals and teachers to staff these schools; and to provide them .means “to with teaching materials and resources כפר As we know, the word .”שתכפר על המיתה“ ,words atone.” The idea suggested is that the month of Adar has atonement built into it. Prior to atonement there of course INFORMATION: must be teshuvah. Please call 212-227-1000 ext. 4557 At the time of Mordechai and Esther, Klal Yisroel were subject MENAHEL: to destruction, as the Gemara says, because the Jews bowed Rabbi Dovid Nojowitz Klal Yisroel .(.מגילה יב) down to the tzelem of Nevuchadnezar atoned for that sin through their re-acceptance of the Torah EDITOR: Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Klein Director of Publications and Communications, Torah והחדש אשר נהפך מיגון and therefore we merited ,(קימו מה שקבלו כבר) that the month was transformed into a joyous one Umesorah ,לשמחה instead of a sorrowful one. RABBINICAL CONSULTANT: A year has elapsed since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic. Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Lowy, Klal Yisroel has suffered through its share of tragedies brought Rav, Agudath Israel of Toronto

about by a powerful mageifah which engulfed the entire world. EDITORIAL BOARD: The effects of the pandemic began their impact upon us during Rabbi Joshua Levy the dramatic month of Adar. Just as long ago, the month one Rabbi Yisroel M. Rubinfeld year ago ushered in a chapter of pain and sorrow. However, in Rabbi Chaim Wein a similar vein, as in the days of Mordechai and Esther, we too GRAPHICS AND LAYOUT: that will, with Hashem’s help, follow S. Schapira שמחהlook forward to the 347.947.0684 .יגון the :sent us a very strong message over PRINTED BY בעל רחמים The greatest Atelier Ind. this past year. It was a message meant for our benefit, as 212.629.900 does. It was a message that רבש”ע is everything that the was meant to be internalized. It was a message meant to SUBSCRIPTIONS: U.S. - $12.00 So, as we Canada - $15.00 .עבודת ה‘ galvanize us into action in the realm of our let International - $18.00 ,אשר נהפך מיגון לשמחה now enter the month of Adar, the month us remember that the month which was able to override the bad mazel, required atonement, and that is something which Group Subscription Rate (5 or more): U.S. - $10.00 Canada - $13.00 .’עבודת ה comes about through teshuva and improvement in With the imminent arrival of Purim and, hopefully, our own International - $16.00 :and TO ADVERTISE OR TO SUBSCRIBE ליהודים היתה אורה ושמחה we too should be zoche to ,חשבון הנפש Mrs. P. Bergman .החדש אשר נהפך מיגון לשמחה 212.227.1000 ext. 4532 Wishing all a Freilichen, safe and healthy Purim. 718-259-1223 , fax to 212-406-6934, Or email to: [email protected]

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3131 4 ı editorial CONTENT 3 MESSAGE FROM THE MENAHEL Rabbi Dovid Nojowitz

5 LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Klein 6 THE ESSENCE OF PURIM Harav Mordechai Gifter

10 CONSEQUENTIAL CONVERSATIONS... Rabbi Ahron Kaufman

12 ANTI-SEMITISM Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Klein

16 GUARD YOUR TONGUE Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Lowy

18 TIDBITS OF TACHLIS PART XVI Rabbi Shnayer Weinberg

21 IN THE “HOT SEAT” Rabbi Naftali Hoff

24 THE HEART OF THE MATTER Rabbi Nachsan Ellis

26 RABBI YISROEL YITZCHOK COHEN, Z”L The Editor

28 ASK THE TU PANEL Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Klein

30 ACTIVELY LISTENING TO OUR STUDENTS Etti Segal

34 LUNAR MONARCHY Yudel Schick

13 HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 5

LETTER FROM THE THIS PURIM WILL EDITOR MARK APPROXIMATELY A YEAR SINCE KLAL YISROEL – AND THE RAV TZADOK HAKOHEIN OF LUBLIN, ZT”L, WORLD AROUND US – poses a compelling question regarding the tefillah of “Al hanissim” that we recite STARTED TO FACE THE on Purim and Chanukah. Were there no PANDEMIC. great miracles done by Hashem related to the yamim tovim of Pesach, Shavuos and in the Haggadah, our forebears in Egypt Sukkos? Of course, there were! Why, then, were “eirom v’eryoh,” lacking any merit that do we not say “Al hanissim” on those days would have triggered our redemption. In the as well? case of both Chanukah and Purim, though, the trigger was that at the behest of their The answer, explains Rav Tzadok, lies in the mentors and leaders, the Yiden did teshuvah first words of the narrative in each case. On and made themselves worthy of Hashem’s Chanukah we say, “Biymei Mattisyohu…,” help. In a real though indirect sense, then, and on Purim we say, “Biymei Mordechai the power to achieve those miracles was v’Esther…” This is not for the sake of within human reach. historical accuracy: rather it is to call out the message that what generated the nes That is the underlying essence of “Al of Hashem’s intervention was not a Divine hanissim.” promise that had been made long before, During the Yomim Nora’im we chant the ,ותשובה ותפילה וצדקה מעבירין את רוע הגזירה ,but rather the result of human merit and the words transformation of a klal Yisrael into a nation to declare that a positive change in our of people deserving of that nes. The miracle fortunes and our destiny can come at the is attributed to people who influenced hand of our own achievements in drawing other people to be better. So, while the nes ourselves closer to Hashem. Consider, was obviously performed by Hashem, the however, that the relevance of that very impetus came from down below. idea pertains no less to Purim than to any Our departure from Mitzrayim and all other day on our calendar. the events that ensued were declared by This Purim will mark approximately a year Hashem long before; so, what precipitated since Klal Yisroel – and the world around everything was Hashem’s promise and the us – started to face the pandemic. Sure, we obvious need to fulfill it. In fact, as we say all can use the diversion and the simchas hachaim that can and will be generated by Purim. However, I believe it would be a shame to miss the opportunity to teach our children that Hashem will respond to our initiatives and better our lot just as he did, “Biymei…” in the days of those who long ago demonstrated that it can be done. That is a most powerful message to share at a time when we impatiently await the yeshuas Hashem. A freilichen Purim. Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Klein 6 ı TORAH THE ESSENCE OF PURIM

Harav Mordechai Gifter, zt”l

This timely article is reprinted with the permission of R’ Malkeal Yusupov, publisher of “The Voice of Rav Gifter.”

CHAZAL ask where we find Esther alluded to in the Torah. In Sefer Devarim (31:18), Hashem tells us “hasteir asteir”, that He will hide His face from us at an as yet undetermined time in the future when we sin and turn away from Hashem. A time of great distress of travail will come upon Klal Yisroel and Hashem will hide of His loving Countenance upon us. No. It will surely Himself from us. be hidden, but it will always be there should we take The miracle of Purim reveals the Divine concept of notice and look for it. For even on the cloudiest of hester Panim, that Hashem Yisborach will hide His days, the sun, though hidden, brings a great deal countenance. There are profound lessons to understand of blessing to our world; even in its concealment, in what Chazal are teaching us when we speak about the sun bestows its life sustaining radiance. hester Panim, that there will come a time of admonition (And even at night, when the sun cannot and rebuke when our troubles overtake us and we can possibly be present, its light is reflected feel that Hashem Yisborach is not with us. This is hester to us through the presence of the moon.) Panim. And if the sun were not present even on the cloudiest of days, it is not that our Chazal tell us that this was the time of Purim, and world would be different; it wouldn’t, couldn’t, exist. through this verse of the Torah we find what the essence of chessed Hashem and middas hadin signify And so would we no longer exist if the loving Presence through the tzaros of Klal Yisroel. When we see that our of Hashem Yisborach was not shining upon us even in the lives are blessed with the good that Hashem bestows greatest darkness, even in the deepest darkness of the upon us through His openly and benevolently displayed darkest nights of our exile. And though His Presence is Countenance, we know what it means that Hashem hidden, it is always there. Even in the time of “to destroy, Yisborach wants to give His love to us. He wants to make to slaughter, and to annihilate all of the Jews, from young our lives full with His Presence. But when this goodness, to old, children and women, in one day,” even then the favor and lovingkindness are taken away, we enter into a Holy One’s Presence was with us, and though seemingly period of choshech, darkness and concealment. Yet this thoroughly hidden, it is there. does not mean that Hashem will now deny the bestowal And this is one of the great lessons that we learn from HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 7

hearts contrite, and sought Hashem’s salvation with Torah and tefillah. They didn’t lose faith, they gained faith! Their emunah was strengthened and became ever stronger. Theirs was the realization that if this is the decree of the middas hadin against Klal Yisroel, then this it means THE ESSENCE that their Father in Heaven feels that His children are not acting as they should. When a father chastises his children, the approach just cannot be that “I give up on you.” No! The approach is that “I will chastise you to make you listen and reflect and mend yourselves and OF PURIM become better.” A few years ago in Sweden a law was passed through which a child could come into court and deny his father’s fatherhood. “I don’t want him for my father.” You can do this today in Sweden. One can say Megillas he doesn’t like his father and thus the man is no longer Esther, this child’s father. Today, many who went through the a lesson last churban have said this in public when they talk at that should international gatherings of survivors, and there isn’t a change our word mentioned about a good G-d in Heaven Who is the understanding Master of human events – they don’t intend to discuss and outlook on this at all when they gather together in Yerushalayim, life, and of Good the Holy City. This is a totally different approach to and Evil and middas churban and hester Panim. hadin and middas horachamim. Churban But the Jews in the lands of Achashverosh gathered and Holocaust do not together as Torah-true Jews to beseech their good G-d, become a reason to deny their Father in Heaven, and so do we have to address the existence of Hashem events as only a Torah Jew can. “Tumelen kenin aleh, Yisborach, for His hashgachah Purim nor ah Yid ken Torah lernin, nor ah Yid ken.” pratis and constant care of Klal Nothing else! And this is our weapon. “B’zman shekol kol Yisroel is immutable. Rather, we Yaakov ein hayadayim yedei Eisav.” When you see before gain a new insight and appreciation you that the hands of Eisav are ready to destroy Klal of Hashem’s Divine supervision of Klal Yisroel, along with Amalek his grandson, the reaction Yisroel. has to be, “Oy gevalt!” We must have forgotten the beis hamedrash. We must have forgotten our Tehillim, tefillos It is especially important now, when the , and our limud haTorah. We have been swallowed up by Holocaust has become a subject of wide the alien cultures we live among; we have become part discussion and men who lost their faith in of these cultures that we live in today throughout the G-d have become the experts addressing the Jewish world. We have forgotten who we truly are and must communities concerning the Holocaust and its return to gather together as true Yehudim. Let us gather meaning that we begin to think in Torah terms what all together as only Torah-true Jews can – with Tehillim, of this means. and tefillos , and talmud Torah. Let us learn Hilchos Melachim, and how to bring sacrifices – everything is “Haster astir”; Hashem is telling us that He may seem Torah! You want to understand life? Then find your hidden, but He is always there. But there are times situation in Torah. Study Torah! That’s your approach when Klal Yisroel is not worthy of Hashem’s open to life. What has happened to us? Jews always had a Presence, and Hashgachah must work in a hidden specific Jewish approach to tzaar and tzaros. Even when manner. This was witnessed during the nes of Purim. it reached the stage of haster astir! When Hashem’s How did the Jews approach the threat of annihilation Presence seems completely hidden we must still know decreed by Haman – how did they approach that that He is right here with us. Otherwise, there would not forthcoming churban? The Yehudim gathered together, be a Klal Yisroel at all, Heaven forbid. 8 ı TORAH

Our entire existence is only chessed Hashem. The Holy One Then you will see life in a completely different light; then wanted to do good for mankind, and therefore He created you will begin to see that even in the churban of hester Klal Yisroel as the representatives of His will to lead and Panim Hashem Yisborach’s countenance is there, shining instruct mankind; but sometimes we forget ourselves, and just behind the veil waiting for us to bring It forth and when we do, the result is haster astir. We must approach reveal It once again. life as the Torah directs us, otherwise Hashem turns away from us and we are left to deal with the hashgachah of It worked at the time of the miracle of Purim and that happenstance wherein everything seems to hang on twists selfsame miracle can be experienced again now. Those who of fate, Heaven forbid. When Hashem hides His Presence, we live by mikreh can look at all of the events leading up to are left at the mercy of cruel masters and their whims. the churban – that all the Jews, young and old are to be destroyed – and then witness the salvation and yet say it is Where Hashem Yisborach chastises Klal Yisroel He is telling nothing miraculous, it just happens this way. Achashverosh us not to walk indifferently with Him. And what does this agreed to destroy the Jews and decrees are sent out and mean? Rambam tells us that indifference means that one then he changes his mind, but not completely, and then the sees everything as the natural course of events. The world Jews stand to defend themselves and destroy their enemies and all of creation is a natural state that has no Creator, G-d and are saved. And all of this is natural? No big deal! Rulers forbid. are often given to indecision and change their minds. This, of course, is natural; but not if one reads beyond the Everything is nature. History is just the natural course of headlines into the fine print and considers all of the facts events – nature taking its course – and that there is no Divine and details with an open mind. The Torah-true Jews of that Plan. time thought differently and gathered together like Jews to pray and beseech Hashem like Avraham, Yitzchak and Things just happen in a spontaneous, natural manner, and Yaakov Avinu, our holy Avos, taught them to do. this is how the nations view life. But the Holy One tells us that if this is how Klal Yisroel views the world, then He will And the result was not a natural occurrence of events. Far respond with an outpouring of fury and indifference. from it! It was a call to Klal Yisroel to rise out of that Persian culture and reaccept the Torah of life that caused history Rambam points out that if Klal Yisroel approaches life as a to change. series of naturally occurring events, then Hashem will place them in to this current of events, into the cause and effect And it was with this strength that only a short time order of the world, and that once this happens perhaps we afterwards there was a return to Tzion. This is the miracle, will begin to see what a world looks like when it takes history the nes, of Purim. For not only were the Jews saved, but into its own hands: tzaros , churban – a world of destruction, their repentance and spiritual renewal also served to make a world of anxiety and fear and aggression. Torah does not them worthy of leaving galus and returning to Eretz Yisroel. allow for mikreh; there is no place in life for mikreh, in which This is the Jews’ response to tzaar, middas hadin, churban, things just happen. No! Everything is a result of planning, of and all the like. And we find all of this in a Megillah where Hashem’s hashgachah pratis in accord with the deeds and Hashem’s Divine Name is not mentioned even one time, as acts of man. If we act in accordance with Hashem’s will, we if He wasn’t there; but He was there, and He was there the elicit hashgachah from Hashem Yisborach in countenance to entire time – only hidden! This is the message of Purim and these very acts. If, G-d forbid, we act contrary to His will, we we must understand it and it should light our way in life. elicit a hashgachah of hester Panim; what we ask for is what is given to us. Mikreh can only lead to churban, and churban Thus, when the month of Adar begins we increase our must remind the Jew that he has wandered from the path feelings and expressions of simchah. In Gemora Taanis, of Torah and into the world of mikreh and this should give Rashi comments that the month of Adar heralds Hashem’s us pause to reflect upon our lives and say, “Stop! Think for a miracles and salvations on Purim and Pesach. The miracle minute how you are approaching life!” of Purim drives home that all of life is governed through Hashem’s Divine supervision of every aspect of creation. K’nos es kol haYehudim – let there be an ingathering of When a Jew reaches this understanding, and it becomes the Jews. Gather together amongst yourselves. Forget his world outlook, he is worthy of Yetzias Mitzrayim – it is this world, this alien culture in which you live. Reclaim your his preparation to leave exile and return to Eretz Yisroel, station at the foot of Sinai and accept Torah all over again. the only place where Torah can be properly observed. The prophet tells us that as you go trek into galus, all of Torah HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 9 and mitzvos are the way signs that lead you on your return of Eretz Yisroel where once again mitzvos will be fully experienced in all of their spirituality, and in their performance one stands in communion with Hashem Yisborach – but this can only be in Eretz Yisroel. And this is why the miracle of Purim is so important; for through it you understand what this means, and therefore it becomes a source of simchah.

Then you are prepared to understand the miracles of The Medrash states the following interesting reason for Yetzias Mitzrayim and to activate yourself to return this – for if one prays for rain when needed in the lands from galus and all that it represents; even the American of galus he loses sight of the fact that that he is living in galus. The Ponevezher Rav, zt”l, once pointed out galus and begins to feel and think this is his home. But that the American galus is worse than what took it isn’t your home – home is Eretz Yisroel! Wherever we place in Europe. There are two types of galus: The are in the road that is galus we must live through it – but European galus was the exile of “may your oppressor if you want rain and kedushah then this can only be said be downtrodden and may those who devoured you be as part of the Shemoneh Esrei for Eretz Yisroel so that a cast far off,” as we say each week in Kabbalas Shabbos. Jew will know he is in galus. In Europe they denied us the ability to live as free men, desiring that we live a life of tzaar with their dread upon This is the extent that Chazal went to in order to see that us. But the American galus is different; here we are free a Jew in galus does not become lost and forget he is in citizens with all rights and privileges in order that we galus . Even when he suffers the pains of the European become swallowed up into the mainstream of American galus , tzaar upon tzaar, he must also have this reminder life and culture and assimilate. Instead of a cheder we in his daily prayer that he is in galus and that home is have a Sunday school. This is what American culture Eretz Yisroel. presents in this terrible galus. Each Adar when a Jew lives through the Megillah and the Even today in the Torah community there are so many nes Purim and realizes the simchah that must be drawn who do not recognize the fact that America is galus and forth from these experiences, then he is prepared for it would be wonderful to leave it. And when we don’t the miracles of Chodesh Nissan and Yetzias Mitzrayim realize that this is galus and we begin to feel that all – to go forth from galus and be worthy of redemption. is good and that we can live like a Yid here, this is the May we finally reach that stage in our lives when we will greatest churban we can possibly have. The Medrash be able to live through the tzaros within the boundaries says that Chazal directed that we are to pray for rain and borders that keep us closed in within all the lands of only in the season when rain is necessary for Eretz our galus , and merit to return to Tzion and Yerushalayim Yisroel but not for any other place in the world. If you to accept Toras Hashem in its fullest measure and need rain outside of Eretz Yisroel, you mention it as deepest, most pure and penetrating light The Essence an additional prayer in Shema Koleinu. But the fixed of Purim with which to rejoice in the spiritual light of prayer for rain in the Shemoneh Esrei is only when rain Hashem’s Countenance and the greatest revelation of is needed in Eretz Yisroel. Ha’oras Panim that He has ever revealed to us. Amen. H 10 ı editorial

CONSEQUENTIAL CONVERSATIONS... WITHOUT BEING CONFRONTATIONAL

Rabbi Ahron Kaufman Reprinted, with permission of the author, from the Jewish Observer, March 2000. Part 2 of the second in a series of two

The conversations that follow -excerpted from longer “Name one.” exchanges, as the previous ones were - took place six “Instant coffee, instant soup, battery jumps…” months after those recorded above. “The coffee was grown, ground, refined, cooked, freeze- “Was it worth it? I inquire. dried, packaged, shipped, and marketed. The soup The glow on his face has already answered my question com­pany did the same. Both are indexed on the S&P for me. “Yeah,” he says. Then he reflects for a bit. ‘’Actu­ 500. The centuries of sweat and grind that went into the ally, I even enjoyed the tough parts;’ factory that produced­ the batteries for the cars he adds. Further thought. “Wait a would take a full week to detail. None of that is minute, I enjoyed them more than instant.” anything! I wonder why that is?” “But it’s instant for me!” “It’s because the joy of the accom­ ‘’And is that a good thing?” plishment is already felt when He claps his hands to his head. ‘’And tell me,” you are struggling:’ I explain. “The he begins in a voice that contains an edge of struggle gives you confidence, exasperation, “why shouldn’t it be? I like a because if you can fight, then you can quick fix.” win.” “Because you didn’t produce it,” I point out. “But why does it need that “What you produce yourself is of far more struggle?” The bourgeois value to you than what you are given. If mentality of early twenty­ -first you don’t believe me, check into a nursing century life is hanging onto his home, and sit in a bed all day hooked up mind. “Why can’t it just be to machines that eat for you, breath instant? You know, upload it?” for you, and live for you. But you “Why is it so good to get won’t. Why? Because you would something instantly?” be miserable there. You, and me, His eyebrows suggest that and every other person on the I have just wondered aloud planet were not meant to receive as to why you can’t swim to instantly:” the moon. “ ‘Cause I don’t “Where do you get that from?” want to wait!” he exclaims. “There are givers and there are takers. There “Why shouldn’t I get it now?” are those that produce, and those that “What on earth do you ever get now?” receive. The receivers are never fulfilled, only satiated. And even that satiation “What is there in this life that’s is only a temporary one. They are never instant? There’s nothing gotten instantly.” happy. The producers are the happiest people in the world. If you cooked something yourself, it tastes better. “Of course there is!” HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 11

If you grow it and develop it yourself, you have a wonderful control that someone else needs. Understand something successful feeling even before you sit down to eat it!” clearly: A person is not built overnight, but a person who is WITHOUT BEING building overnight will get built. You were brought into the “So, I am not supposed to consume at all?” world for this purpose, and that purpose is waiting for you, “You have to consume to some degree, but only on a stretching out to take your hand.” maintenance level. Your mission in life, the primal cause of “I don’t know.” your existence, is to be a producer!” “I’ll prove it to you. You have self­control and concentration, “How do you know that?” CONFRONTATIONAL and you have the willingness and ability to listen to the “If not, why did your old lifestyle feel so hollow?” intricacies of rules and regulations, and limit yourself by Isn’t it odd that unlike the majority of the animal kingdom, them.” particularly insects and reptiles, that are born fully “Really?” His tone is extremely dry. ‘’And where do you see functional, the human being, the elite of all creation, is that?” born deficient? He is hardly a person at birth, but merely “Do you play sports?” animated matter. Then slowly, very slowly, his senses begin to develop. He turns, crawls, walks, talks, and he continues “Yes, but…oh!” to progress incrementally until his senses and concepts “Exactly. Do you play pool?” mature. The first twenty years of his life are spent “Yeah, sometimes.” becoming merely functional! “Are you good at it?” The explanation of this singularity is that it is precisely “Absolutely!” because man is paramount, strictly because he is born in the Almighty’s image, he is born incomplete. Man was “When have you ever won a pool game without granted the divine and unique opportunity to become a concentrating?” meaningful partner in his own creation. He gives birth to You wouldn’t play sports without rules and regulations, himself in a way, as he forms his own self by expand­ing and because that’s the whole game. When you examine it, it’s developing all of his life, shaping his own destiny. Every the rules and regulations that make the game. That is the person, every event, every step we take, no matter how game itself. A game without them is not a game. You find feeble it may seem, is of cosmic importance. Man’s reach the game enjoyable because you know that the rules are exceeds his grasp. there for you. Since you clearly see what the rules are for, Since I have the mission to create myself, and to produce and how they help you, you do not even begin to think about my life, I cannot be happy in a role that is not mine. Man them as limitations. Rather, it’s the opposite. You see them was meant to produce, not merely be produced. as things that set you free. That is the underlying truth of Tzellem Elokim. G-d Mitzvos are the rules and regulations of life. Torah is the produces, and man produces. A man that cannot produce, guidebook. You, my dear, are the active participant. Seek out is not a man. There is no such creature. A man can produce. a Rebbi or an older bachur to mentor and coach you along. There is no man that cannot act in the image of G-d and Throughout life we all make investments of various kinds. produce. There is such a thing as a man who can produce, However, the most important investment you can ever but does not. Those people have their own designation. make is in yourself. And the greatest end result that you can Unhappy. make of yourself is that which happens to be the definition “That’s a great thing, but not everybody can live like that.” of a ben Torah; a purposeful person, a creator, someone doing something magnificent with their life, dealing with “Of course, they can.” eternity. Failure to do so, no matter what the reason, will “Look, you’ve already got it, you’re a Rabbi! You can control result in a little less of you, which is an irreplaceable loss. It’s your mind. I have no attention span, I think I’m…” your failure if you allow it, but it is also your success if you “Please don’t say those three letters to me,” I beg. “You’d succeed. Yes, you can give me a thousand reasons why you think that ADD was the bubonic plague the way it spreads.” can’t develop into that ben Torah, but there is one reason He laughs. “Okay, but I don’t have the self-control I need.” why you must. Because that is you and your mission in life. H “Yes you do.” He looks at me with suspicion. “I do?” “Yes.” “No, I don’t!” “You have the self-control that you need, not the self- 12 ı editorial

ANTI-SEMITISM: OUR CHALLENGE IN GOLUS Based on the Teachings of the Netziv

By Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Klein

THE DIFFERENCE between fruits and between Both Purim and Pesach are times for celebrating anti-Semitism is that the former are seasonal. Anti- Klal Yisroel’s “geulah” from dire straits, whether Semitism, on the other hand, is always in season! that be slavery or a sinister plot to commit genocide. Still, the Spring, marked first by Purim, followed by Today slavery, of course, means primarily spiritual its older “sibling festival,” Pesach, one month later, slavery, while genocide still denotes both the is perhaps a good season to focus on the age-old physical and the spiritual varieties. In any case, we scourge. are embarking now upon the season to concentrate HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 13

on sinas Yisroel. To be sure, we in the western world have been quite fortunate for nearly a century now for having been privileged to reside in countries that have been referred to by Gedolei Yisroel as “malchuyos shel chesed,” unprecedented dominions of kindness. Unlike any previous era during the long golus, ours is one in which we have been permitted to flourish in every respect, unhindered by governmental decrees to restrict our devotion, unhampered in our open adherence to the Torah Hakedoshoh. Our yeshivos, day schools and Bais Yaakov’s, including the nearly 800 that are affiliated with Torah Umesorah… our shuls and botei midrashos… our community organizations… are all visible testimony to the good fortune for which we ought to be extremely thankful to Hashem. With no suggestion that there is a significant change for the worse in the offing, chas v’sholom, we would be in denial… or awfully naïve… if we had not noted that sinas Yisroel has begun to emerge worldwide – including here in our own backyard – Yet, it is not merely with greater frequency. Belgium; Halle, Germany; London, U.K; Poway, Pittsburgh, Jersey City, New by our isolation York, Monsey, Los Angeles… and more… from the non-Jewish “Disconcerting” as the appropriate adjective to describe what is coming down would border world that we on pathetic understatement. What is very disconcerting, though, is how the matter has now preserve the sacred encroached into the area of chinuch; this, as a result of the fact that the news and the media have tzurah of Yisrael. similarly encroached into chinuch. Children today will usually not remain sheltered for long: they hear from the anti-Semitism itself. the reports. And they grow somewhat anxious. The problem is where does one begin. There are Consider, however, that today’s child asks not only numerous angles and opinions, most of which we, about what will happen as we move forward: they as maaminim, would not subscribe to. So, what wonder what anti-Semitism is all about. Moreover, is the starting point? We need to affirm first and a cursory look back at the previous two centuries foremost that sinas Yisroel has been decreed reveals that many a young Jew left lives of Torah Above. And while this might appear obvious in after being led to the false conclusion that light of the fact that everything is dictated Above, Yiddishskleit, or openly being branded as Jewish, it is important that we nevertheless internalize makes us vulnerable to disdain and to oppression this truth... and just as crucial that we share it by our neighbors. Our talmidim and talmidos are with our young charges, rather than allow them asking for clarity. How shall we answer the questions to accept any of the sociological explanations for that are being raised by them increasingly? the phenomenon. With a Torah-based view, we can What might even be worse is that our failure to hope to comprehend the message being conveyed answer in and of itself can threaten the young by Shomayim when Jew-hatred surfaces. So, what generation. The threat from ignorance about the does the Torah tell us about this? essence of anti-Semitism might be greater than Harav Naftoli Zvi Yehudah Berlin, zt”l, known usually 14 ı editorial

as the “Netziv,” penned a treatise on the subject. It is not only eye opening: it is also calming due to the clarity it offers. Called “She’or Yisroel,” it is part of the Netziv’s “Reenah Shel Torah,” his commentary on Shir Hashiriim. Let us examine selections of the Netziv’s thought. In the third section of his treatise, he cites the prophetic words spoken by Bilom, as planted into his speech by Hashem. “Hein om l’vodod yishkon, u’vagooyim lo yischashov.” (Bamidbor, 23:9), the Jews are a nation that will dwell alone (l’vodod), and will not be reckoned among the nations (u’vagoyim). The message, says the Netziv, is that when we are in social solitude, adhering to our own values, families and way of life, then Hashem dwells in our midst and we can succeed. However, if we mingle and assimilate, our presence will not be appreciated. Even if we flourish in number and in strength, we are not reckoned with favorably by the world. In fact, we will be the object of scorn. This very declaration was also made by none other than Par’oh in his prefatory statement before decreeing our slavery in Mitzraim. We avoid misfortune and are allowed to dwell in peace when we are “l’vodod.” But when we are “u’vagoyim,” we inadvertently advance – not to success or approval by the nations, contrary to what many might believe, but to tragedy and… well, to overt anti- Semitism. Elsewhere the Netziv writes that given that the tzurah of the Jewish nation is dependent on their separation from the nations, when we attempt to undermine this separation and to explore non-Jewish culture and values, this will ultimately lead to the elimination of our tzurah. What does Hashem then do to preserve that essence? He awakens the hatred of the nations, converting it into action. The nations will then distance US so that the Jewish essence will be made more evident, despite that this would be against our will. In the end, though, Hashem’s word is upheld. Yet, it is not merely by our isolation from the non-Jewish world that we preserve the sacred tzurah of Yisrael. In the fourth section of She’or Yisroel, the Netziv turns our focus to Sefer Devorim, wherein we find Moshe Rabbeinu’s final address to Klal Yisroel, the address that became the legacy four our nation in all situations – from the best of times to, R’l, the worst. Thus the repeated rebuke, the detailed accounting of the sins of the Meraglim, the Eigel Hazohov and other infractions committed in the Midbar. These were intended to ensure that the people accept upon themselves the tremendous task of Torah study and the constant review of Torah. Ultimately, this was included HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 15

in the bris in Arvos Moav and at Har Gerizim and (Devarim 25:14), “Do not have in your house a Har Eival, when they were instructed to erect the measure and a measure etc.” [followed by the stones and clearly inscribe the Torah on them – verse (v. 17)] “Remember what Amalek did to you.” even in seventy languages. (According to the Sfas Amalek came for the sin of the Yiden loosening Emes, the 70 languages were used to safeguard their hold on Torah in matters of integrity in their Klal Yisroel’s adherence to Torah study even when dealings. they would be in exile… and speaking different This is true for every generation – although the languages.) The Jews needed to understand that primary sin which leads to our persecution by our this was their national covenant. enemies is our assimilation to the nations and the Moreover, the stones were erected specifically on loss of our tzura, nonetheless if not for the sin of Har Eival, where the rebuke was delivered, thus casting Torah to the ground, this persecution would informing the people of their [eventual] dispersal, not have occurred. This alone is the spirit and core as the passuk states (Devarim, 28:64), “And G-d will of the anti-Semitism that we face, to our disgrace scatter you among all the nations, from the end to this very day. of the earth etc.” By this, the Jews understood What it is that we must tell our talmidim and our that they would achieve their purpose by their talmidos as they attempt to come to terms with thorough dispersal. the upsetting increase in sinas Yisroel as a real At that same event Klal Yisroel also entered into force impacting us all becomes quite clear from the covenant to heed the Written and Oral Torah, what we have seen in the sacred words of the as the passuk states (ibid. 27:26), “Accursed is the Netziv. Notwithstanding that we find similar ideas one who will not uphold the words of this Torah, expressed by the Meshech Chochmah, among to perform them.” As Yerushalmi Sotah (chap. 7) others, the precision of She’or Yisroel offers us explains, this refers to one who is able to support nothing short of a curriculum on the topic. the Torah and neglects to do so. The reason for To summarize, the tzurah of our people is a this [harsh admonishment] is that when the Jews direct reflection of the Creator’s tzurah. We were are scattered, our only means of separation and conceived as a people with the mission of portraying protection of our tzurah among the nations is the this tzurah – Jewish essence – throughout the strengthening of Torah study. Clearly, the support world. This is achieved by our maintaining cultural for Torah and the furtherance of obedience to distance from the non-Jewish world around us, by Yiddishkeit is an imperative tied to our sojourn in relentless study of Torah, hachzokas ha’Torah and exile. Our failure to stick to task will thus result in adherence to mitzvos – including integrity in our adversity, such as so much of what our nation has dealings with others. When we get sidetracked suffered. and neglect these tasks, Hakodosh Boruch Hu can In the eighth section the Netziv reiterates that unleash the minions of anti-Semitism to send us a what has emerged is that Jews are pursued by reminder. their enemies because of assimilation and because The strategies are simple, but to deploy, the Jewish of neglecting Torah study. This is alluded to in people must remain focused. H Torah, in the verse (Shemos 17:8), “Amalek came and battled with Yisrael in Refidim.” “Refidim” is extra, for it is already stated earlier in the passage This alone is the that they camped there. However, as expounded in Mechilta: “Others say that ‘Refidim’ means spirit and core of ‘rifion yadayim’, loosening the hands, because the Jews loosened their hold on Torah. Therefore, the the anti-Semitism enemy came, because the enemy only comes when they loosen their hold on Torah.” that we face, to Medrash Rabbah at the end of Ki Seitzei adds: our disgrace to Amalek came because of dishonest use of weights, as evident from the juxtaposition of the pesukim this very day. 16 ı CHINUCH

Guard Your TONGUE Q&A in Aspects of Lashon Hara as they pertain to Mosdos Hachinuch

Harav Moshe Mordechai Lowy

As a teacher, I am often unsure about what informa- tion to share with parents about their children. Some parents press me for infor- mation, some don’t ask; at times I can’t gauge what their reaction will be. Are there guidelines for what I should or shouldn’t dis- close?

ALTHOUGH a teacher bears enormous responsibility for his/her students, ultimately, the responsibility for properly educating a child belongs to the parents. Therefore, it is imperative that, for the child’s benefit, parents be active and informed, working out problems that crop up, so that the child’s succeeds both in school and, eventually, in life.

At the same time, however, it is important to remember that parents are emotionally bound to their children and their responses may not be rational or productive. For this reason, teachers must exercise great sensitivity in relating HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 17

information, so that the overall goal—of 1. If the teacher knows that the parents parents working for the child’s benefit— in question will react in a way that will be is accomplished. Before telling a parent beneficial to their child, the information information that may cause an overreaction, must be disclosed immediately. The teacher or an undesirable effect, a teacher should should involve the parents both in the think carefully about how to present the problem and the problem-solving. matter. It is always best to consult one’s principal and/or a competent rav before 2. A teacher is in a unique position that speaking to a parent about sensitive issues. allows her to take a more objective view of the issue. If the teacher suspects A rebbe received a frantic call from a parent that the parents will react negatively or whose eleven-year-old son never came home overreact, the teacher must consult a rav that day. After a thorough search, the boy to determine how to present the problem. was found, hiding in the bushes, crying. If at all possible, it would be preferable to “Please don’t call my parents,” he sobbed try to help the child without the parent’s “They said if I got another bad mark, they’d involvement. The rules of toeles apply in kill me!” The rebbe was at a loss. After this situation, so a cost-benefit analysis careful thought, he informed the parents must be calculated. If it would be more that he knew where their son was, but would detrimental to the child for the information only tell them if they promised not to punish to be disclosed, then it certainly should not him for hiding or for getting a bad mark. be told. However, if more good would come Only after obtaining the parents’ assurance from disclosing the information, then it did the rebbe send the boy home. The next should be told. day the boy told his rebbe that this had been the first time he wasn’t punished severely Example: A student constantly falls asleep for getting a bad grade. in class. If the teacher knows the parents will respond well to being told, she should It is important to differentiate between certainly involve them in helping the child matters which must be told to parents, get more rest. If, however, she feels that versus issues that are inconsequential, or will they will react inappropriately— punishing probably go away on their own. A one-time their child harshly, imposing unrealistic misbehavior which is out of character for the rules, etc.—she must consult with a principal student need not necessarily be reported or rav about whether to bring up the issue. immediately. In certain situations, perhaps The student’s exhaustion during class may the school guidance counselor should be be less detrimental to her than her parent’s consulted first. Then, if the problem persists, mishandling of the teacher’s report. [This a teacher should find out how best to inform should not stop the teacher from trying to the parents. help the student overcome her problem.]

General rules of informing parents are as Ideally, teachers and parents should work follows: together to help each child. However, even the best parents can be defensive and A. If the matter doesn’t need to be shared, sensitive where their children are concerned. do not disclose it. (In case of doubt, ask your Even worse, some parents do not have the principal or rav.) skills necessary to intervene properly in their children’s chinuch. Before speaking, teachers B. If it is definitely important to inform the must choose their words carefully to ensure parents, there are two options: that what they say will help, not hinder. H

Reprinted with permission from “IMPRESSIONS,” a biweekly newsletter for educators published by the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation. For subscription information or to submit a SH question, email: [email protected] 18 ı CHINUCH

TIDBITS of Tachlis Part XVI Rabbi Shnayer Weinberg THE GEMARA IN ERUVIN (daf 13) tells us that Rebbi (Rav Yehudah Hanasi) the gadol of his generation, relates that when he attended Rebbi Meir's lectures he could only get a seat behind Rebbi Meir. He said, "Had I been able to see his face when he lectured, I would VEHOYU have been so much sharper." To support his conclusion, he quotes the pasuk in Yeshayahu, EINECHO RO’OS "vehoyu einecho ro'os es morecho." The Maharsha explains that a teacher’s facial ES MORECHO – expressions convey meanings beyond those that are conveyed by his words. AND YOUR EYES The wall in my library, which I face when I sit at my desk, is completely covered by SHOULD SEE YOUR photographs of Torah personalities, such as Roshei Yeshiva and Chassidic Rebbes. TEACHERS Whenever such personalities visited Toronto I made it my business to invite them to daven with us in the Eitz Chaim Bais Hamedrash and to speak to our talmidim. I wanted to afford HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 19

our talmidim the opportunity to observe how teaching when the need and the opportunity these Gedolim davened and to learn from present themselves. their words. There was always someone who Most of what I said so far is more relevant for took pictures of these occasions and I was limudei kodesh than limudei chol. By and large proud to frame a copy of such pictures and limudei kodesh teachers are more inclined to hang them on my library wall where I feel use traditional teaching methods as explained inspired when I look up and see their faces. above, and limidei chol teachers more often I would like to apply the concept of "vehoyu prefer modern teaching strategies. One of einecho ro'os es morecho" to "frontal the main reasons for this difference stems teaching." from the fact that for almost every general In recent years, frontal teaching has been studies text there are high quality workbooks the subject of a lot of bad publicity. It has so that the teacher can teach a lesson after been labeled archaic, old fashioned and which they can assign exercises from the therefore, inferior. In some schools as part workbooks. This time lends itself for pupils of teacher evaluation, teachers are timed and to work together and for the teacher to work downgraded by how much time they spend in with groups and individuals. the old-fashioned way of teaching frontally. In conclusion, I believe that every teacher Indeed, it is archaic and old fashioned, but should have the right to decide the seating not inferior. Frontal teaching has served arrangements in his classroom as long as it us well from the time of Moshe Rabbeinu follows an organized pattern. The only seating through the millennia to our time. In every I disapprove of is one of disarray, because generation, Torah has been transmitted from that breeds disorder and an unhealthy the Rebbi to his talmidim as they sat before atmosphere in the classroom. him and faced him. I also believe that any teacher who completes In addition to our mesorah of requiring the his curriculum and is liked by his students and transmission of the Torah from the Rebbi their parents, and conforms to the rules of to his talmidim there are a number of other the school should be appreciated and given practical benefits which accrue when a class all the possible leeway in the way he goes sits facing their Rebbi as he teaches his about achieving his success. In general, "If it students frontally. There are teachers who ain't broke, don't fix it!" H feel strongly that there is no better way to control and hold the attention of the class than by facing each student where he can observe each one to see if he is learning, playing or dreaming. Another benefit of frontal teaching is the time efficiency it provides. There are no faster ways to give Rabbi Weinberg, who served as senior instructions, disseminate information and principal of Yeshivas Eitz Chaim in To- even teach skills than when the whole class is ronto for many decades, has assembled focused on the teacher. close to l00 ideas on various aspects of chinuch. Some of these deal with the Seating arrangements and teaching strategies do’s and don’ts for principals and others deal with by no means precludes students working in the do’s and don’ts for teachers. Some of them are groups or pairs, like learning b'chavrusa, as novel; some of them may be controversial; but all of they can easily move or rearrange their desks. them are practical… drawn from years of experience Nor should it preclude the use of differential in chinuch. 20 ı CHINUCH HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 21 IN THE “HOT SEAT”:

SHARING, LEARNING IN A LEADERSHIP COHORT

In this School Leadership Mastermind group, participants share their personal challenges and get input and solutions from their peers.

BY RABBI DR. NAPHTALI HOFF

MENACHEM WAS STRUGGLING. As the lower school principal of day school in northern New Jersey, Menachem was trying to stay afloat in a pandemic that has sapped all our energy and made school leadership - already a lonely field -- even more isolating. In particular, Menachem had a problem that’s been weighing on him for a while. He supervises an assistant principal who, in turn, manages all K-5 teachers within the school. One teacher, in particular, is a bit “old school” for this progressive institution, and the AP has it in for her. Yet, from Menachem’s perspective, the teacher is largely successful and is popular with her students (a group that has historically presented many behavioral challenges) and their parents. The academic data also points to her meeting, if not exceeding learning benchmarks. On the one hand, Menachem wanted to support his AP and help get this veteran teacher “on board.” On the other hand, he saw many positive qualities in her that his AP either misses or chooses to ignore. He just didn’t know how best to proceed. When I launched my School Leadership Mastermind for school principals and administrators back in June, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. It was my first time running a mastermind group of any kind and, while I had participated in and gained from other masterminds, running my own would be a totally different experience. Particularly in the throes of a COVID pandemic that had put school leaders back on their heels for months. 22 ı CHINUCH

Thankfully, the group quickly coalesced around a common desire to grow as professionals, expand their professional networks, find comfort in community, and have their most burning questions answered on the “hot seat.” What’s a “hot seat”? Known also as a “spotlight,” a hot seat is a segment of each mastermind session during which one member presents a personal challenge for others to reflect on and share solutions. Following the hot seat, I get with the members to clarify their takeaways and get them to commit to purposeful, goal-driven actions to propel them forward. One hot seat discussion focused on helping a lower school principal in Montreal address the school’s board of directors about salary disparities within school departments. Her teachers’ salaries were the lowest within the school and she felt it to be both unjust and a competitive disadvantage in her quest to staff her classes with high- quality teachers. Compounding the problem was that she had little to do with the board (she never reported to them,) and its members seemed largely focused on fundraising and saving dollars, not spending more of them. The group heard her out and encouraged her to think of ways that she could justify her request. One idea that this principal arrived at on her one was that she was also a fundraiser, through the application to a series of grants. She also was a primary liaison for the school in dealing with Quebec’s onerous paperwork and compliance requirements. This made her more valuable to the board and someone that they couldn’t easily dismiss. This, together with the added confidence and support that she got from a group of peers that believed in her, allowed her to march into a primary board member’s office and successfully pitch her request. In Menachem’s case, the group impressed upon him the importance of prioritizing the students’ needs over our adult wants. If the class is well taught and well managed, then HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 23

the AP needs to reset her expectations and work with the teacher “where she is,” rather than try to remake her. If the AP is not willing or able to see past the teacher’s shortcomings, perhaps Menachem needs to step in and make her his responsibility instead. And he also needs to get with the AP and coach her to be more effective with and supportive of all the teachers in the department. and a hard place” of two conflicting priorities Other examples of hot seat breakthroughs include: that were both legitimate. We ultimately spent the money to invest in health.”

Providing guidance to a new principal who, over the course of the summer, needed to (1) build Many of these wins are not related to academics relationships with his colleagues and constituents but rather, relationships. This may not be over Zoom while (2) figuring out his role within an obvious to those who think that principals deal administrative team that was ill-defined. He was almost exclusively with things like learning advised to focus on the former while allowing the and curriculum but those in the trenches know latter to run its course. That’s what he did, and it’s how important soft skills are to their success. worked out well for him. Too often, school leaders need to develop these on the job, as our training programs do not emphasize this enough in their leadership Helping the principal of a small southern day training programs. school work towards accreditation and identify new The rest of our sessions were filled with weekly programming options by aligning with an online wins, reports from the previous week’s hot seat high school program that could serve his students occupant, and structured learning that typically upon graduation. Here is how he reflected upon his included breakout rooms in which partners hot seat experience and aftermath. “The biggest worked together to answer questions and solve challenge we faced was knowing when to live within problems before sharing their outcomes with our means and save money to ensure a balanced the group at large. budget. We needed funds both for accreditation and to hire extra staff to be sure health needs during the School leadership is difficult, lonely work -- pandemic were met, which is also an accreditation especially now. Leadership cohorts let you expectation. It was a classic “caught between a rock connect with peers who understand the nuances of your work and can offer practical insight and support. Many of our conversations and learning sessions centered less on academic leadership per se than on people and personal leadership. Yes, we spent time on such things as curriculum development and teacher observations. But what this group most sought were augmented toolkits in such areas as emotional intelligence, trust-building, and communication, so that they could leverage their abundant skills and expertise to achieve their goals. And continue moving their schools forward. H

Rabbi Naphtali Hoff, PsyD, (@impactfulcoach) is president of Impactful Coaching & Consulting. He is launching a new mastermind cohort for school leaders who want to up their game and gain much-needed clarity and support during these most challenging times. To learn more, visit his School Leadership Mastermind page, ImpactfulCoaching.com/SLM. NEW FEATURE OF HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE. 24 ı CHINUCH IT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF. READ AND ENJOY.

OF THE THE Dear Rabbi Ellis,heart matter I have a talmid in seventh grade who has a real kriah issue. Fortunately, there is still ample time before his Bar Mitzvah for this to be addressed. I spoke to my talmid’s father and encouraged him to do just that. When the father approached his son, the boy told him “kriah tutoring is for six year old’s - not for boys who are twelve.” The father then asked me to speak to his son about the importance of kriah even at this age. I feel I am at a loss. On one hand this boy is already twelve years old and maybe feels too old for intervention; on the other hand, he really needs the help. What can I say that will help him understand the importance of being a fluent reader even in seventh grade? Sincerely, A 7th Grade Rebbi

(Rabbi Chaim Nachshon Ellis is the newly-appointed Social Worker at the yeshivah Ketana of Passaic, and a former rebbi of nearly two decades at the Hebrew Academy of Cleveland, Ohio.) NEW FEATURE OF HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE. HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 25 IT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF. READ AND ENJOY. Dear Rebbi, Thank you for your thoughtful question and your willingness to the building looks beautiful! You tour the new property and find address this important issue. Based on your trusting relationship with fancy rooms and furniture. You take sight of the marble floors and your talmid and his family, I feel you can make the move. Remember the beautiful chandeliers. What a stunning sight! However, all of a the old chinuch adage: “If you make deposits, then you will be able sudden after your tour is completed, the building begins to sway? The to withdraw.” building begins to fall apart? What will your reaction be then? Will the house impress you any longer? Certainly not! The same is true about First and foremost, here is a little background prior to speaking to making sure your kriah skills are excellent!” matter your talmid. Unfortunately, he is not alone. Today we are finding that many children like him have difficulty reading. Baruch Hashem, many Then continue to explain that “the ability to read acts as the of our schools are responding to this critical issue. Many of them foundation for life. Strong kriah skill will only strengthen Torah continue to practice kriah even in the older graders to ensure that our you learn, tefillos you say and mitzvos you do. If chas v’sholom the students become and stay strong readers. It can happen for various opposite is true, the foundation will be weak, something that can reasons that a reading issue was missed in the earlier years, and kriah cause a lack of success in many areas of our lives. So, rather than only will continue to be a struggle into the later years. This obviously can focusing on the beautiful house you want to build; you need to also turn into a real issue. When this happens, this can greatly impact focus on strengthening your foundation.” the child’s ability to learn Chumash, mishnayos and Gemara. This It’s important to validate the struggle and remind your talmid of will impact his davening, as well as his confidence level in regards to what Hillel taught us in Pirkei Avos (2:6): “Lo habaishon lomeid, the davening for the amud. If a teenager is still struggling with reading embarrassed one cannot learn.” This is not an easy idea to digest, fluency, how can you expect him to be able to learn? Later on, we but being frank is well worth it. Knowing that what you are doing is hear boys say, “Learning is not for me!” As sad a thing this is, if a boy building a lifelong foundation may help you keep focused on the goal. doesn’t know how to read, he has never really learned at all! While Just like a foundation – it can’t just be good, it needs to be excellent! this may sound like hyperbole, it’s the reality. Kriah is often the factor Encourage your talmid that with Kriah being a “good reader” is not that holds one back from success in learning… and in life! good enough. You need to become an “excellent reader”! Encourage Find the right time and explain to your talmid: “What happens if you him to stay focused and to stay strong and reassure him that this will build a beautiful looking house but on a weak foundation? Indeed be an accomplishment he will always be proud of! B’hatzlacha, Rabbi Ellis

26 ı CHINUCH

REB YISROEL YITZCHOK COHEN, Z”L

By the Editor

WHILE CUSTOMARILY we do not in these pages and entitled Destined to Survive, one of the present tributes to individuals who have passed most poignant wartime memoirs available. Not away, R’l, the recent petirah of Reb Yisroel simply a moving chronicle, it is nothing less Yitzchok Cohen, z”l, creates a rare exception, than an incredible sefer mussar and is used mainly as it serves to illustrate the vision and widely by many Bais Yaakov’s and yeshivos in the far reach of Torah Umesorah more than the course of their “Churban Europa” programs. seven decades ago. The niftar, a Gerrer chossid, Just as shiva concluded, in the final days of a native Lodz and a 14-year old when the war Teves this year (he was nearly 96 years old at his erupted, suffered through the worst that the passing), his son showed me a rare letter that Holocaust had to offer. was sent to his father by Dr. Joseph Kaminetsky, Some years after surviving the horrors, R’ Srul z”l, then Director of Torah Umesorah. The Yitzchok, as he was known, arrived in Toronto. letter was dated June 12, 1950 and was sent It was 1951, and in short order he became a to R’ Srul Yitzchok’s address at the time in star rebbi in Yeshivas Eitz Chaim, that city’s Geneva, Switzerland. What precipitated the flagship Torah Umesorah school, where he correspondence was that R’ Srul Yitzchok, while taught hundreds of talmidim during his 15- living in France and Switzerland for several year tenure. A talmid chochom of note, he also post-war years, after regaining his health, served his new community as a magid shiur of had become involved in chinuch, teaching, Daf Yomi, as a baal korei and as a mentor for mentoring, guiding teachers and giving chizuk peers and younger individuals, such as to fellow survivors. So successful was he that myself. word of his activities reached Torah Umesorah, thousands of miles A man of letters, R’ Srul away. At once they sought Yitzchok also penned, to bring R’ Srul Yitzchok in Yiddish, his to America so that he wartime memoirs, may lecture educators which I was affiliated with the then privileged to fledgling organization. translate into its English The following is the version, later letter: published by Artscroll HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 27

JUNE 12, 1950 28 ı CHINUCH

COMPASSIONATELY Ask the GRASPING THE SITUATION TU PANEL A: Two preliminary points need to be made before we actually get into the issue at hand. The first is this: Yes, it is clear that being a Jewish educator requires that one possess certain aptitudes as well as attributes rendering him suitable to Q: the job. It is equally clear that just as some surgeons are My children spend more more expert than others and some businessmen are more successful than others, so will we find that some mechanchim time with their teachers are better than others. That being stated, though, I hasten to than they do with their add that, based both on years as a parent and on years working alongside many dozens of mechanchim in various schools, parents. So, with their the vast majority are not only pedagogically proficient, but having such an impact also passionate about their calling. So while a child may upon the development occasionally encounter a teacher who may have, so to speak, “stumbled” upon his vocation by mistake, for the most part, of children, teachers today’s Torah teachers are eminently worthy of our trust and should obviously be confidence. Not to mention appreciation! special people. Specifi- A second point which begs to be aired is this: parents may in fact spend fewer hours with their children today, but the cally, though, what sort quality of that time usually makes that time more meaningful. of skills and character For one, children need not contend for parents’ attention at traits should I expect home as they do for a teacher’s attention in class. Secondly, the instinctive bond between parents and children is to find in my children’s stronger than all others. Thirdly, we find empirically that teachers? both successes and failings of children are usually traceable to parents – but only rarely to teachers. With that in mind, I would argue that parents CERTAINLY need to possess certain “skills and character traits” in order to be good parents. In an ideal world, parents – even more than educators – would be required to undergo “vocational training” to serve their task.

One of the regular and most popular features Now…to the issue at hand! in Hamechanech Magazine is the “Ask our Panel” Q&A. This is a venue for professional In an increasingly complex world, the job description of pilpul chaveirim, and its intent is purely for the mechanech becomes augmented with additional roles. Torah Umesorah’s own mechanchim to share Consequently, at least a rudimentary knowledge of medicine, possible, practical, tips for implementation in nutrition and psychology is advantageous to the educator, in the classroom and beyond. Any mechanech order for him to carry out some of his newer tasks. who would like to pose a question to Torah It is also crucial that today’s mechanech be something of an Umesorah’s panel of mechanchim, please email entertainer: he needs to remember that he now faces stiff to [email protected]. or fax, to the competition for the attention of his talmidim. The gadgets attention of Rabbi Klein, to 2l2-406-6934. and activities to which today’s child typically has access means that the rebbi dare not take his students’ admiration for granted. It must somehow be earned. HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 29

Alternatively, there are so many factors that enter the was the highlight of the event, but more importantly pedagogic equation that an uncomplicated response Leah acquired a sense of confidence and stature that to our question is nearly impossible. Lesson planning, helped her transition and her social acclimatization. And good testing devices, grouping of students (today often it was all because one of her teachers thought about referred to as “differentiated instruction”), behavior Leah when planning for the luncheon got underway; she management and skill-based teaching are only a sampling brought the issue to my attention. She was a teacher who of what goes into good chinuch. This makes it difficult to cared and who “compassionately grasped the situation.” isolate a single component.

Therefore, it is not appropriate to address pedagogic In my childhood years, it happened occasionally that “skills” in this venue. Instead, we might focus on a specific a certain rebbi recommended that we discuss various aspect of character. Based on a recent conversation Yiddishkeit matters with our zaydehs. A beautiful thought: with a well-known mechanech, I would advance the “zekeinecha, v’yomru lach,” the Torah advises. The only importance of a mechanech understanding the personal problem was that I never had a grandparent (or uncle or situation of every student. aunt, for that matter) and my sense of deprivation was underscored by such recommendations. My consolation The story he related was of a girl who needed to was that there were a number of classmates who, like transfer to another town and Bais Yaakov for the new me, were children of Holocaust survivors. The rebbi who school year. When her new principal was made aware urged us to connect with our grandparents did nothing of the fact that the girl had recently lost her father, he wrong. However with a bunch of children of survivors in told her, “You don’t need to tell your teachers about your his class, he may not have adequately “compassionately circumstances.” A couple of days into the school year, one grasped the situation.” of her teachers approached her during break and said, “I feel so sorry about your loss.” The girl promptly went to One of the famous stories about Harav Eliezer Shach, the principal’s office and said, “I thought you said that no zt”l, concerns a bachur whose rosh yeshiva, upon one would know about my father. I will never ever trust consulting with Rav Shach, was compelled to ask the boy you about anything.” The principal had intended to spare not to return to the yeshiva. However, sensing not only the girl the pain of sharing her sensitive information a measure of responsibility for the decision but also the and reliving her sorrow. His plan was to explain the girl’s possible ramifications that the decision would have on matzav to her teachers by himself (as it was, of course, the boy’s life, Rav Shach personally learned a daily shiur crucial that they be informed). That menahel did nothing with the bachur so that he would not slip further. Nothing wrong. The story, however, illustrates the tremendous can serve as a more poignant example of a mechanech need to attempt to feel the possible pain of talmidim… (after all, a Gadol Hador, is ultimately a Mechanech and to “compassionately grasp the situation.” Hador) “compassionately grasping the situation.” A famous passage from Chazal offers us insight Years ago, my Junior High was planning a Mothers into the quintessential criterion for Moshe Rabbeinu’s and Daughters Luncheon, a bi-annual highlight for being chosen as the leader of Klal Yisrael. Hashem tested our students and parent body alike. I was faced with a Moshe with causing a little lamb to stray from the flock dilemma, though. Leah (not her name), a new student of Yisro’s sheep which he, Moshe, was tending. Moshe from a different town, had lost her mother a few years found the animal, cared for it and physically carried it prior to her transferring. What would I do about Leah? back to the flock, whereupon Hashem said, “You have Have her attend the event so she would focus on her loss? such mercy as the shepherd of the sheep that belong Advise her to miss school the day of the luncheon? Neither to human beings. I promise that you shall become the approach seemed appropriate. So I took a gamble. I called shepherd of My sheep, Israel.” (Shemos Rabbah 2:20). her to my office and asked her if she would like not only Compassion and understanding are two traits to attend but if she would speak about her late mother… – or perhaps they are merely two dimensions of one – or about motherhood in general… or how much she that will be the hallmark of good mechanchim. And good missed her mother… or a related topic of her choice. I parents too! While not compensating for the absence told her to think about it and not to answer me just then. of professional skill, they form the bedrock of Jewish A couple of days later she came to my office and asked leadership. That is what chinuch is… and that is what how long I would want her to speak. Holding back tears, I makes special people special. H told her about ten minutes. Needless to say her address 30 ı CHINUCH

ACTIVELY LISTENING TO OUR STUDENTS

Mrs. Etti Segal

THE BEST MOTIVATION THERE IS

We all know that listening is important. We listen to understand information, learn, and even to be entertained. Yet research on adult to adult listening shows that we only retain 25-50% of what we hear, which means we are not listening very well! We often half-listen, forming an opinion before the person finishes speaking, deciding we know what the person is saying, or simply tuning out.

Dr. David Lieberman, PhD, recounts a fascinating study in which 15,000 convicts were surveyed to see if they thought the legal system was fair. The prisoners’ responses were varied; some were simply receiving probation, while others had up to 20 years of incarceration. Interestingly enough, their responses were not based on the length of their sentences but were determined by how long their public defender spent with them. Even those that only got minimal sentences felt the system was unfair if their lawyer didn’t seem to listen to them, while those given long sentences answered positively if their lawyer spent more time with them.

Let’s apply this information to our children and students.

Often teachers come in to the new school year with expectations of being listened to, and forget that the most effective way to get children to listen is to have children understand that we will hear them. I am 31 ı CHINUCH HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 31

not advocating a classroom where children call out at so busy with him and she pushed me onto the bus will, but a safe place where children know the adult in without even giving me breakfast and I am so hungry!” charge cares about them and will always be out to do she responded, proving once again the benefits what is best for them. of active listening and not pre-forming excuses or reasons. I sent her to the office with a note, and while With the Covid 19 as a backdrop, children seem to need they procured a sandwich for her, I had time to reflect. to be heard more than ever; the expectation that they will sit quietly and just listen to lecture is less and less I have found pen and paper to be an effective way of of a reality after their long break from formal learning. listening. Children are encouraged to write me notes, which I will then answer at my earliest convenience. Let’s MODEL ACTIVE LISTENING by paraphrasing what Notes are also effective when a teacher wants to know a student says and even by calling on another student what is going on but cannot take the time to have a to repeat back what the student asked. one-on-one discussion.

Let’s MODEL ACTIVE LISTENING by building personal For a few years I employed the “mailbox,” a poster relationships. Ask children about their weekend, their board with pockets for every child found in most position in the family, how they feel about a subject. classrooms at that time. It did not work for me, as I If she asks a personal question to you, realize it is a found that too many students were leaving notes for student’s way of engaging and deflect the question each other, not all of them nice. by turning it right around. The student wants to talk about themselves, they just need the opening! (While I switched to individual notebooks, which children teachers need time to recharge, recess is actually the knew were for their eyes only, and found it much more best time to forge connections with your students and effective. The children kept the notebooks in their really get to know them. They want to connect, and a desks or knapsacks, and when they needed to tell me well placed “Hmmm, that must have been ____” by a something, or wanted to share an event with me, wrote listening teacher goes a long way!) to me and then left it on a designated place on my desk. I usually found time within the day to respond. (In Let’s MODEL ACTIVE LISTENING by giving children the beginning of the year, when the notebooks were voice. At the end of an assignment or test have them first announced, all 28 students wrote to me, and I had write what they found easy, difficult, and how they to stay an extra 20 minutes after school to be able to liked the subject in general. Let students ask questions, answer them. It was a mostly introductory assortment delve deeper, and compliment them on their thinking. of letters from children trying to make a connection A student loves to hear the teacher doesn’t know and I responded how happy I was to have them in my the answer and will look it up, especially when the class. As the novelty wore off, only a few notebooks teacher seems impressed with the level of thought being displayed. (A teacher who takes the question personally is not actively listening, she is forming an opinion before the speaker is finished speaking.)

Let’s MODEL ACTIVE LISTENING by staying neutral and asking a student if everything is okay. Her head might be down for so many reasons; let’s not decide LET STUDENTS the answer before we ask the question.

I remember walking into my classroom and feeling ASK QUESTIONS, instant dismay as I noticed Rachel (name changed) sitting with her head in her hands, shoulders shaking. DELVE DEEPER, “Who bothered her this time?” I remember thinking as I instantly recalled her daily, sometimes hourly, complaints about all the people around her. I restrained AND COMPLIMENT myself and after starting the class with their morning routine, turned into active listening mode and quietly THEM ON THEIR crouched beside her.

“Rachel, you seem sad. Is something wrong?” I asked THINKING. neutrally, the key ingredient in active listening. “The baby was sick this morning and my mother was “ “ 32 ı CHINUCH

appeared on my desk on an as-needed basis.) That is where I had them share with me how hard or easy they found an assignment, what they thought of the assembly, what they liked to do, and what they did over their vacation. That is where I asked them to think further into a topic we discussed in class. And of course, that is what I asked them to write in when I saw tears, or witnessed an altercation at recess. Just the act of writing often helped the situation along!

Sometimes I heard about exciting news in the family. Sometimes the letters were just a place to share, while others were complaints. Sometimes there was a situation that needed advice (my friend gave me chips and I gave her my stickers, and I really want my stickers back.)

The notebook was a place for me to write unsolicited compliments (“You asked such good questions today”) or a place to express concern (“You have not been participating lately. Is everything okay? I am worried about you and I miss your voice in class.”) Sometimes I was more actively writing than others; sometimes I let the notebooks slide. But by reminding myself and the students to keep a connection with me by writing in their notebooks the children felt heard. Some students will only write when prodded, some will write often.

(A word about the notebooks; I find that grades 2-4 can have communication notebooks with the teacher, while older grades need to have the notebook based on a subject where the teacher can ask a higher order thinking question, comment on the answer, and then add a personal compliment or “ thought. Some students will then also add personal notes in the notebook, while others won’t.)

TO BE AN ACTIVE LISTENER:

1. PAY ATTENTION AND SHOW YOU ARE LISTENING. Look at the speaker. Work on being present and don’t prepare an answer before the speaker is finished their thought. Nod occasionally. Make sure your stance is open and inviting. (Keep in mind; crossed arms means distance.)

2. PROVIDE FEEDBACK. Repeat back some of the thoughts; “Sounds like you are saying” and “I am hearing” are two great starters for reflection. Saying yes, no, and umm periodically show feedback HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 33

as well.

3. LET THE PERSON FINISH BEFORE COMMENTING OR ASKING QUESTIONS.

4. RESPOND IN KIND. Be honest and respectful as you LET’S answer. I teach this to my classes, and to some of the classes I visit. MODEL We practice active listening; letting a person finish their thoughts and validating or commenting before switching the focus to yourself, what empathy and sympathy mean ACTIVE and actually look like, and letting children experience being listened to.

LISTENING I received a note from a model student that surprised me by its venom. In very disrespectful terms it informed me that if I did not change her seat to be near her friend she BY GIVING would take decisive action against me (speak badly about me to others, tell her parents how mean I was being…). CHILDREN Of course I wrote back, reflecting how angry she seems to be feeling but how I knew that she was aware that I could not respond to such a letter. I invited her to write VOICE. me a new one. A new one appeared a day later, much more appropriate, again requesting that she sit near her friend. Now I was able to validate her angst at being separated, but explain how important it was that she not sit near her friend so that I would not have to constantly remind them not to socialize during class. She accepted the response and never asked to switch again. “ ACTIVE LISTENING- IT WORKS! H

Let’s model active listening by building personal relationships. Ask Mrs. Etti Siegel is a coach and educational consultant for Catapult children about their weekend, their Learning, is a sought after mentor and workshop presenter position in the family, how they feel around the country, and a popular presenter for Sayan (a teacher- mentoring program) and Yachad/OU. Mrs. Etti Siegel holds a MS about a subject. in Teaching and Learning/Educational Leadership and brings sound teaching advice to her audiences culled from her over 30 years of teaching and administrative experience. Etti was an Adjunct “ Professor at Aspen University and is now at Sara Shenirer Institute. 34 ı MUSINGS

LUNAR MONARCHY

BY YUDEL SHICK

The brightness of the day envelops all In a glossy flashy cloak of unbridled joy. Shimmering streaks of ethereal light Clothe even the deepest of crevices – Where the homely and the horrid lurk – In a glow all a-flattering… In a luminous and innocent sheen.

But for him who beholds this And indeed other uplifting vistas, ‘Twere well worth knowing That Sun is an old, callous showman, The grand provider of grander deceptions, Patron of much hollow laughter As of smiles added with a painter’s brush Swishing with strokes of “determined to please,” Feigning the classical tragicomic, “All’s well” To throngs who crave that refrain. ‘Tis Sun alone that casts down shadows That pose dark but pathetically empty likenesses Of all that is otherwise quite real, Shadows that have learned to mingle well, In a contrived blend with what is true. ‘Tis this that’s so well worth knowing.

But if perchance you chance to stumble Upon its softer, leaner and darker kinsman, Moon, the nocturnal monarch, As upon its ever-so-subtle beams Those that flatter nothing – and augment less, Reassured you ought to feel That truth abounds just there For all wise enough to seek it. HAMECHANECH MAGAZINE ı 35 DEPARTMENTS

AALEH Rabbi Mordechai Reichberg 212.227.1000 x 4566 AISH DOS PROFFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT Rabbi Dovid Bernstein 845.356.2961 BUREAU OF PERSONNEL RESOURCES Rabbi Y.M. Rubinfeld 212.227.1000 x 4541 COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT & OUTREACH Rabbi Chaim Nosson (Nate) Segal 212.227.1000 x 4518 Rabbi David Merkin 212.227.1000 x 4517 COUNTERFORCE Mr. Moshe Wangrofsky 718.787.4412 CHINUCH.ORG Mrs. Donna Zeffren 732.730.6796

DEPARTMENT OF SCHOOL GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT Rabbi Joshua Levy 212.227.1000 x 4542 Rabbi Mordechai Besser 212.227.1000 x 4540 Rabbi Yisroel M. Rubinfeld 212.227.1000 x 4541 EMES VE’EMUNAH FELLOWSHIP Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Klein 212.227.1000 x 4557 HEMSHECH Rabbi Avi Feinstein 718.744.3800 LILMOD ULELAMED Rabbi Yisroel Meir Rubinfeld 212.227.1000 x 4541 NATIONAL CONFERENCE OF YESHIVA PRINCIPALS (NCYP) Rabbi Shea Ryback 212.227.10000 x 4535 NCYP WOMEN’S DIVISION Mrs. Rochel Zimmerman 212.227.1000 x 4580 PROJECT SEED Rabbi Moshe Katz 212.227.1000 x 4519 PUBLICATIONS AND COMMUNICATIONS Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Klein 212.227.1000 x 4557 SPECIAL SERVICES Rabbi Chaim Wein 212.227.1000 x 4544 TEACHERS CENTERS Lakewood: Mrs. Baily Stefansky 732.363.7700 Toronto: Mrs. Chaya Messinger 647.352.7900 Montreal: Mrs. Sara Buchinger 514.277.8585 Manchester Teacher Centre Mrs. Gitty Goldblatt 44-161-507-222 Walder Education Pavilion (Chicago): Mrs. Rouhama Garelick 847.674.0800 Wolf Education Resource Center (Brooklyn): Mrs. Goldy Goldberger 718.744.3100 Rabbi Eli Schnurmann (Men’s Division) 718.744.3100 L.A.: Mrs. Menucha Engel 323.475.9777 YALDEI YISROEL - STUDENT PLACEMENT DIVISION Rabbi Mordechai Reichberg 212.227.1000 x 4566 YESHIVA HIGH SCHOOL CERTIFICATION DIVISION Rabbi Mordechai Reichberg 212.227.1000 ext. 4566 ZECHOR YEMOS OLAM - HOLOCAUST STUDIOS Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Klein 212.227.1000 x 4557jj 36 ı chinuch Back in 1998, we saw a need for Hundreds of elementary and quality, appropriate literature for our middle schools are now using and children. enjoying Mosdos Press literature We made it books. Join us. happen.

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