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2003 Maintaining Personal Resiliency: Lessons Learned from Evangelical Protestant Clergy Katheryn Rhoads Meek
Mark R. McMinn George Fox University, [email protected]
Craig M. Brower
Todd D. Burnett
Barrett .W McRay
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Recommended Citation Meek, Katheryn Rhoads; McMinn, Mark R.; Brower, Craig M.; Burnett, Todd D.; McRay, Barrett .;W Ramey, Michael L.; Swanson, David W.; and Villa, Dennise D., "Maintaining Personal Resiliency: Lessons Learned from Evangelical Protestant Clergy" (2003). Faculty Publications - Grad School of Clinical Psychology. Paper 155. http://digitalcommons.georgefox.edu/gscp_fac/155
This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Graduate School of Clinical Psychology at Digital Commons @ George Fox University. It has been accepted for inclusion in Faculty Publications - Grad School of Clinical Psychology by an authorized administrator of Digital Commons @ George Fox University. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Authors Katheryn Rhoads Meek, Mark R. McMinn, Craig M. Brower, Todd D. Burnett, Barrett .W McRay, Michael L. Ramey, David W. Swanson, and Dennise D. Villa
This article is available at Digital Commons @ George Fox University: http://digitalcommons.georgefox.edu/gscp_fac/155 MAINTAINING PERSONAL RESILIENCY: LESSONS LEARNED FROM EVANGELICAL PROTESTANT CLERGY
K.'\THERYN RHOADS MEgK, MAHK. R. !'lkML'\;:'\, CRAJG 1\l. BROWER, Toon D. BvH:-;ETI', BARRETT''~ i\lt'R·\Y, l\ltC'HAEL L. R~\1EY, D. .wm 'V. SwA:-;so:-;, A:--:n DE:"l\1sE [). \"ILL.-\ Whelllon College
Despite the prominence of clergy in providing erre, Quackenbos, & Bundrick, 1994; Quackenbos, human services, and the work-related strcssors th ey Privene, & Klentz, 1985). For these people, the cler experience, clergy health and coping responses have gy person is, and always will be, the therapist on call. rarely been the focus of psychological research. We Undoubtedly this means that clergy arc in a ve ry report two studies. ln the first, we evaluated respons demanding helping profession (Dilley, 1995; Hall, es of 398 senior pastors to three open-ended ques 1997; Henry, Chrrok, Keys, & Jegerski, 1991 ), per tions regarding personal coping, structural support haps even more demanding than psychologists given for their work, and remediation efforts in times of the multifaceted nature of their roles in people's di stress. ln the second study, Christi an mental health lives (i. e., counseling parishioners, early morning professionals and Christian education professionals and late evening meetings, being called home from identified Protestant Christian clergy who exempli fy vacations ro perform funerals). emotional and spiritual health. Twenty-s ix parti ci Additionally, many contemporary clergy experi pated in individual 30-minute interviews. Respon ence fami ly stress and function under unrealistic dents emph asized the importance of being intention expectations of occupational and personal perfec al in maintaining balance in life and devel oping tion-both from parishioners and self-imposed ( Elli health y relationships. They also value a vital spiritu son & Marrila, 1983)-whilc also often lacking an al life, emphasizing both their sense of calling into adequate extra-familial support system. family srres ministry the importance of spiritual discipli nes, and sors often include financial strain, lack of family pri· an ongoing awareness of God's grace. We suggest vacy, frequent moves, clergyperson on call, clergyper ways that Christian mental health professionals can son busy serving others, and lack of ministry to support pastors in preventi ve and remedi al roles. clergy families, leading ro a diminished quality of life for both the clergype rson and his or her family (Hall, isrorically, clergy were rhe professionals 1997; see also \XIarner & Carter, 1984). A su rvey sought to help guide communities through administered through the Fuller Institute of Church the travails of life, with people seeking nor Growth reported striking statistics among pastor only spiritual gu idance, but invariably guidance 'A~th respondents: 80% indicated that ministry had affect emotional and fam ily issues as wel l. Clergy were the ed their fami lies negatively, 50% dropped our of full equivalent of our modern day therapists, albeit ~th· time ministry within five years, 70% reported not our the ririe and the specialized training we have having a close friend, 37% acknowledged having coday. While there will always he a place for trained been involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with mental health professionals in the healing process. someone in the church, and 12% confessed ro hav for many, religious leaders remain the primary ing engaged in sexual intercourse with a church resource for people when they find themselves con member (as cited in Headington, 1997). fronting either spiritual or mental health issues (Pri,•- A great deal has been reported abour ways that psychologists cope with stress and maintain well Address correspondence to Kathcryn R. Meek, Psy.D.; Dcpan· mcm of Psychology; Wheaton College; Whcaton. IL 60187-5593. functioning (e.g., Coster & Schwebel, 1997; Email ma)' be >ent to K:uhcryn.R.. 'vk [email protected]. Schwebel & Coster, 1998), bur very little research ;Htenuon ha~ been gi,en to how clergy arc able to STU DY 1 mamtall1 re\1hency and per~onal ethiCs 111 the 1111dsr of such tkmanding work. Sadly, mo~t of the pi>ychol M ET IIOOS ogy literature on clergy life has been focused on impairment (Meloy, 1986; Von Stroh, Mines, & Participants Andmon, 1995), burnout (G rosch & Olsen, 2000), The participants in this srudy were ~enior pastor\ and nmconduct (Berman, 1997; Brewster, 1996; of :t particular evangelical Proresranr denominanon D:mc~. 199!!; Ruzicka, 1997). This literature has within the United Stares. In the United States, thi, been helpful 111 idenrifying challenge~ facing clergy, denomination has 874 local churches in 45 states. hut ha~ Ltrgdy ignored the more po~1ti1-c a~pect~ of Organizationally, a Board of Bishop~ oversees the clergy hfe and functioning. For example, what i~ churches, with each bishop guiding a large, muh1· gomg well for the J0°o who~e family life is not ncga state area. Each area is comprised of conference\ tii'CII' ,,ffl·ned, the 50% who remain in miniMry after guided by a superintendent. At the local level, each five .years, the 30% who have been able to develop church is led by a senior pastor with support from a do~<: fricmlship~, and the 63% who ar<.: maintaining board of laypersons. Depending upon the size of the Mrong sl·xual boundaries within their congregations? local church, an assistant pastor ma}' be present as llo" can we a~ menral health profes~ionals learn well. A total of 874 senior pastors received a sun·c>' from th<.:s<.: pa~tors and become advocate~ for orhcrs packet, and 398 provided responses, re~ulting in a hv ~:ommunicating an exp~:ctation of personal and response rate of 45°'o. p~ofe~"on;tl ~uccess, encouraging them toward ~piri Of the 398 respondents, 94°'o were male and 6°'o rual and emotional health, and educatmg them were female. Fi1·e participantS did not report ethn1c1· ;thout tho~e who have walked before them and ha,·e tv and of those who did 76°o were of European , ' maintained wdl being wtder Mrc~sful and demand descenr, 3% of Asian descent, 2% of African descent. mg condiuons? \Xlhar can we tell their orgnni1~1tions 2% of Hispanic descent, and 17% of multic.:thnic or and pari~hioners about how m protect :tnd sustain other descent. Most respondents (94%) indicatc.:d the~c peopk who will work so di ligently ro protect that they arc currently married, and most were high ly .tnd sustain so many other~? Finally, how can we educated (32°'o with an undergraduate degree; 49°·o dfectii'Civ rc~ton.: them in time~ of dimes~? wirh a masters degree; 8% with a doctorate). Rc~pon The r~cent interest in positil'c psychology, marked denrs' ages ranged from 25 ro 78 years, with an aver by a spcc1.1l i"ue of American Psychologist (Sehgman age age of 47. Participants were also asked ro md1cate & Cs1btenumhalyi, 2000), reminds psychologists how many of 13 major responsibilities they fulfilled that the profe-,sion is larger than Identifying :md treat throughout the past year (preaching, admimmanon, ing dy\funcuon. Titis more po~iuve \iston of psychol teaching, counseling, visitation, financial oversight, ogy invite\ us to move beyond a pathology focus to church growth planning, clerical, evangelism, ~mall understanding and promoting hea lt hy function ing. group leading, rime in praye r, custodial, and worship While thoroughly investigating healrhy functioning in leading). The mean number of major area~ of respon pastor' will require multiple swdie~ over a prolonged sibility was 8.2. The a1•e rage total salary (including pcnod of wuc, we attempted to begin the proces~ compensation, housing, benefits) was $33,600 with a wnh rwo ~rudies, both of which utilized a narrative range of SO to S 114,000. rncthudolo!;) mwhich we direct!~· ~ked clerro them selves ro educate us. These swdic~ arc pan of a larger l 11strumellts re,earrh program on clergy-psychologiSt collabora tion
responses. While this adds richness to rhe data that You \-c go1 10 1akc 1hc long \1t:W \\11h your mini my. You haw cannot be obtained through purely quantitari,·e to make prionnc'> 1ha1 arc 'mlpl)· on top, like raismg rour O\\ n method~. it also adds additional subjectivity ro rhe children and lo\1ngyour own \\l(c ·~more importanl 1han any· process of analyzing the data. Despite these limita Lhing dsc you arc dmn~ So you kmd o( ~c1 1ho~e priorinl''> and don 'r make apolog~c'> (or 11 . tions, we belie,·e rhar the lessons we learned from our pastor rei>pondents can contribute to the dewl This inrenrionallry comes in several forms. While opmenr and refinement of programs specifically some spoke of vacation and orher down rime, orhers designed ro aid clergy and rhose rhcy serve. mentioned never bringing work home ro avoid rhc.: temptation, nnd sti ll others spoke of placing as much L ESSONS L EARNED conrrol and structure into unavoidable ~cxrra" duties as possible. Lesson # 1: lntmtiollality is Essen/itt/ /ntentioua/(1• C01mected. lsolarion is a prominem Intentionally Balanced. How do paMOrl> manage a theme for pastorl> a\ evidenced b)· rhe data indicat career in wh1ch they enter belicnng they wtll mimster ing that 70°o rcpon nor having a dose friend (as tO people through preaching, C\'angclism, perhaps cited in Hendington, 1997). Clearly, finding mutually some paMoral care, and find rhat rhe1r job descrip edifying suppon 1s challenging given rhc facr that tion may also include managing leadership conflict, pastors arc in high I>• visible leadership roles. Because cle:ming the fellowship hall bathrooms, hal:mcing the finding meaningful egalitarian relationships within church budget, and fielding 3 A.M. crisis calls? A one's congregation IS challenging for multiple rca senior pastor of a very large church described, "It's sons, pastors often sec their families, primarily their nor the things in ministry that kill you, it\ th e things spouses, as their principal support system. Twenty you don't ger done_every night you leave you know fi,·e percent of re~pondcnrs in our first srudy and that rhere 's another tweh·e people you ~hould call, 62% in our second study identified the importance of family relationships (spouse and/or children) in encouragers. With their overwhelming responsibili maintaining their emotional and spiritual health, ties, clergy need to feel thar they are nor alone, that making it essential to protect and nurture those rela they are parr of a bigger partnership with those who tionships. A wide variety of factors were mentioned will stand by them. Essentially they expressed a need for ways that the pastors' spouses specificall y had for an advocate who will nor onl y listen and under contributed to their health and stability. First, some stand, bur who will walk beside them in viewing and pastors identified explicit spiritual activities rh ar solving rhe problems at hand: "give unmistakable evi were parr of the marriage: praying together, praying dence of concern and care," "[Provide] active sup for one another, and reading the Bible together. Sec port nor in words but in deeds," "be available," "carry ond, some referred to the difficult role of being mar some of the load," "li sten," "get involved when the ried to a pastor and fielding all sorrs of unrealistic occasion calls for it," "assure us of our value," "rake expectations from parishioners. One pastor rime ro nori ce the signs of stress or burnout." described rh e importance of his wife's role aptly, "And then my wife, roo, when she sort of sees me lis Lesson# 2: God is Important tening too much ro the people that think I'm great, Sense of Calli11g. Choosing to be a pastor in rhe she says to me, 'Hey pal, you ain't so much. Or if !lis Protes tant tradition often involves a sense of spiritual ten roo much to the people who say I'm the reason "call ," which makes the pathway ro a li fe of ministry for all the problems, she says, 'Hey, you're a good somewhat distinct from other careers char people guy, doing your level best.'" Third, some mentioned choose based on income potential, prestige, work emotional support. One pastor stated, "I have a best conditions, and so on. Forty two percent (42%) of friend wife ... We laugh together, we play together, respondents in Study 2 experienced a distinct we pray together.'' Fourth, some pastors identified moment of calling, whereas the other 58% described the ir spouse's capacity to provide balance by provid a more gradual, developmental sense of calling that ing a li fe outside work, and by speaking the truth developed over time, such as: "My ca!J to be a pastor about work when ir needed to be spoken. was something I son of grew into." One senior pastor Extra-familial relationships also emerged as a cru of a large evangelical church pur it th is way: "I think cial clement for clergy in the second study with 42% the mosr prominent feature of being a pastor is nor spontaneously identifying the importance of friend choosing the profession bur being called of God." sh ips with orhers outside th eir family and 35% This was a theme repeated by most respondents, emphasizing the importance of menco ring and even to d1c extent that some experi ence a caU that is accountability. This was not as prominent a theme contrary ro their desires, "Kicking and screaming. It for pastor respondents in Study 1 with only about was nothing I was raised to wanr to be." 8% mentioning friendships and 9% mentioning cur Spiritual Disciplitzes. Despite the great impor rent menroring and accountability relationships tance our pasror respondenrs place on their origi nal when asked about efforts to prevent exhaustion and '"call" into the ministry, as they arc in the midst of stress in their work. However, when these same pas· daily demands, they may forger how and why they tors were asked what rhe most important thing the ended up where rhey are. What they will be aware of denomination could do to prevent irs pastors from is rheir tremendous responsibility to understand experiencing high levels of exhaustion and stress, God's truth and communicate it as best they can to approximately 45% mentioned a need to be men their congregations, again drawing them back ro cored and/o r known by others. Enrhusiasm, vision, their relationship with God for hope and inspiration. and ability to cope tend to wane with isolati on. One Throughout history the Christian life has called fol respondent su mmarized it this way: lowers ro certain practices, or "disciplines," of faith We pastors need to know that we arc pan of something bigger (Foster, 1988). Thirty three percent (33%) of clergy than ourselves and that w~, together, are called tO a great des· tiny-we need leaders who arc themselves excited, themselves in Srudy I and 66% in Study 2 spontaneously men energized, themselves passionate about the mission of our tioned engaging in such spi ritual activities as church and then personally, emhusiastically communica te that rerrear/so litude, reading Scripture, journaling, fast llliSSIOn tO US. ing, and prayer. In the face of srress and extreme dif Ultimately, clergy want to be known. They arc usual ficulty, clergy and other religious people often find ly the counselors, the mentors, rhe reachers, and the srrengrh and purpose through releasing personal control aml trying ro work under God\ empowering grace of Cod and 1f 1 fnrJ:cl rhat. I'll prohah1) h~· Jcnymg guid:mcc. Self-efficacy did nor appear ro he a cenrral somcthmJ.! rh:u \ H'r) 1mpnrtant. goal for the~e pastors. Rather, they have arrcmpred The exemplar pastor~ in Study 2 spoke about ro r c~t their identitY• in the character of God, rhus rheir urrer reliance on rhe power and prc~cncc of acknowledging their own weakness and rcl y111g on God ro fu lfilltherr responsibilities. They appear able one whom they perceive 10 be stronger and more ro rl'l'Ognize the power rhcy hold in the li ves of their capable, making daily connection rhrough spiritual parishioners and have lc:trned how ro manage rhc di~cipline\ essential. Psychologi~rs have unfairly remprarion ro fall in10 what some call a "mes~iah maltgncd these Christian beliefs in rear\ pa r (e.g., com plcx" through a hum hie awareness of t hci r Ellis, 198.3), hut there now appears to he growing humanity. They know their limirarions, and rc:gard recogmuon that these beliefs can he health~. less of the expectations from abO\·e or below, they Se/fawanmess and God's nature. Whether it be are able 10 maintain a realistic apprai\al of them rcconnccring in some way with their original mission, selves and communicate this ro orhers. They arc abo vision, :111d call inro rhe ministry or engaging in spiri· keenly aware of God's ongoing work in their li ves, rual activirics such as prayer or snrdyi ngScripture, our the realiry of I lis power in whatever successes or fail pastor respondents seem ro find great strength in rhe un:s they experience. and rheir need for God's for notion thnt despite their own failin~ and apprehcn· giveness and merq• (e.g., one respondent st:ncd, "I sion~. God is propelling them forward and will honor hm·e a friend who savs,• 'I Jon 't know whar the heart His promi~e ro susrain them. \X'hcn g.rcar difficulties of a had man loob like, bur I do know what the arise, pa\tOr~ ma>' be more likely ro rccogmL.c rhcir heart of a supposed good man is like and it makes O\\ n lrmrt:ltlons and realiL.e thar some: srruauons arc me qui1·cr. '• ). beyond therr human capacities to sol\'c. Thl· thl·ological presuppositions of Christianity Ti lE R OLE O F T i lE M ENTAL H EAJ:I'I I mclude the paired beliefs that all humans arc sinful, PIWFESSIONJ\1. but thm God loves us nonetheless and rnakt:s gran: Pasrors live unique lives. In rnany cases, both thei r and forgiveness available (Hoekt:ma, 1986). John o rgani1A1rion~ and their parishioners have ~rear, :tnd Cal\'in ( 1559/ 1997), one of rhe leader' in rhc sometime~ dr\·crgent, expectations of them, lca\'mg Protestant Reformation movement, begrn' his clas them with rhc pressure of pleasing all people at all Mc lnMI!utcs of the Christian Religron \\ ith the para rime~. Mental healrh pro\'idcrs rhar desire to ~ene doxical assertion rhar we cannot fully know God's pastor~ need ro both understand rhe unique \trc'· grace unlcs' we understand our sinfulnc\\, :md rhat sors inherent in pa~roral work as well as rc~pen the we can nc\-cr fully acknowledge our O\\ n ~infulness monumental importance pasrors place on their call until we h:wc conremplatcd the character of God. ing and God'~ SO\'ercignry in their work. 13ccau~c of PaMor~ in our second swdy were spccificall)• :t~ked, the great demands p:tstors face, there will undouht· "To what do you atrribure your spiriwal and emo· edly always he a need for counseling. Howeve r, what tiona! health ?" One prominent theme, spontaneous we arc buning from our research is that it may be ly identifi ed by 54% of dergy respondents in Study even more imporranr ro sustain and protect rhcrn ar 2, might best be described a\ ~df- awarcnes~. This borh rhc organiL.·nional and indi\·idual b ·d\ prior ro \\'a' not ju\t an analytical sen~c of ~l·lf-awarcness, rheir hanng a need for rcMoration. but .1 humhk ~elf-appraisal parred with an under Orf!alli:ra tional Prevention. Psycholo~l\t~ who \landing of God's grace and forgivcnc s. It \\' :IS if wish to aid 111 rhi~ process can becomc ad\'ocates for they were able to percci\'e rhcir sin because rhcy had pal>rors long before they mighr sec them 111 their a po\\ crful awareness of God's forgivcne~s, :tnd office~. Pre\'ention begins at rhc seminary kvel hy the)' were :tble ro experience God\ forgi1·cncss supporting ~cminarics in their efforts to fmrcr an because they were aware of their personal weakness atmo~ph crc of openness in which all aspects of the es and nel·d~: pasror:uc arc di ~cussc d, including rhe problem ~ of I ~cc my-elf a~ carrying a whole ha~,: nf mhcrcnr cormadic:· dealing with difficult people, managing. feeling!> of tion,. l11.11\ human narurc. I am 'omconc whn" 111 rhc pro sexual arrracrion, protecting one's marriage, ~ecking l't:''> of hcmJ.! -:11cd who fight' many hatrfc, .uul h.l, )'CI to he rc.1h,lll" .1hmn rhat a'> tho: mnh- Th.:rc·, no 'm nf 11hu.:h I'm our supporti\c friendships and menroring relation· nC1t capahl~· of c1en now. . . 1 am :1 'mncr rcn>,·cnnJ.! h1 rhc ships, noucing srgns of distress in oneself and one'~ colleagues, and ~eeking help in rime~ of disrres-.. Pre· the contrary, 1hl'Y arc expected to be con\lantly JOY· vcntton 1~ ahu crucial at the Jcnomination.tllt:vcl ful, full of faith, :tnd confidenr rhar God will promlc after seminary. It is unfortunate that m:my of our pa~· for them and their familic~ regardless of their cir tor n:~pondcnr~ in Swdy I came ro cxpc ri cnn· a lack cumsrancc~. It i~ immensely comforting for pastor:. of organizational support over rime and believe that to be able ro tell of their ~rrugg l es and be undersrood their primary value is expressed in church growrh. rather rhan judged. Validation also sen·~::~ as a source Re~pondcnt~ expressed frustration over their per· of empowermenr. Once the words are spoken, truth n:ptton that rhe denomination measure'> church i~ rold and rhq arc then 111 a position to rake pro:K· health and pasroral success by church gnl\\ th. One ti,·e steps to balance our rhe1r li,·es. Mental hc.tlth respondent wrote, "II would like lm scmmar~ and professJOn•tb can .ud in rhis process hy educatmg nmfcrcnccs a sense rhar Ill\' value was more 111 rcla· pastors about the \'a'>t re~ources a\·ailable ro them ' 11on~h1p wuh Jc~us than in my skill-, and strt·ccs., in and encouraging them toward greater health putting up good numbers." One went so fnr as ro through sclf-advocaq•, '>Upporr-seeking, and living a srarc that the emphasis on attc::ndance number~ and h~::althy librylc. fina iKial healrh is so overpowering that c.:lt:r~:>'Y :Ire in Remediation. For mental health professionab dan)!cr of losing their jobs if rhcir numbers aren't who wish to aid those pasrors who find rhermelvcs ~rcadil>• inc.:rcasing. in need of p~yl:hotherapcuric scn·ices. the fir~t ha~k Like .111 profes~ionals, pastors need c:ommtm1ca· requiremt:nt 1~ fanuliariry with pastors' unil)Ul' chal· uon. support, menroring, 'ision<~ung,
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