PAGE 6A FRIDAY, JULY 9, 2021 TIMES WEST VIRGINIAN ADVICE Dear Bleeding moles and skin checks Annie in your moles, and being evaluated by Annie Lane Mayo Clinic News Network a dermatologist annually and checking Dear Mayo Clinic: I have a your skin regularly are two excellent Syndicated Columnist significant number of moles. While most steps you should take to catch melanoma do not bother me, I have at least one that and other types of skin cancer early. The bleeds from time to time. Should I see sooner skin cancer is found, the better my doctor for a mole that bleeds? the chances are of curing it. Answer: Moles are groups of pigment It’s not always easy to distinguish cells, and nearly everyone has them. melanoma from a normal mole or Beware online Most moles are harmless, but it’s another area of pigmentation. One of the possible for melanoma — a rare but most important things you can do is to DREAMSTIME serious skin cancer — to develop in or become familiar with the location and When you are outdoors, use sun- scammers near a mole. Although it may not be pattern of your moles, and monitor them protective clothing and a broad- serious, a mole that bleeds is a possible for changes. Examine your body in front spectrum UV A/UV B sunblock with a Dear Annie: I’m desperately in need of your advice. sign of melanoma. of a mirror. Ask someone to look at your with a sun protection factor, or SPF, of I’ve been married to my husband for 16 years; we’ve Melanoma develops in cells called back. If you notice any changes in shape, at least 50. been together 20 years. We’d always had a decent melanocytes that produce melanin — the size or color of a mole, or a new mole other, while melanomas will stand out by sex life up until two years ago. The sex just stopped. pigment that gives your skin its color. with rapid growth, show it to your health being smaller, larger, lighter or darker, He was never in the mood. I had no clue what had The exact cause of all melanomas isn’t care provider. If it looks suspicious, your compared to other moles on your body. In changed. Well, about six months ago, I discovered that clear, but exposure to ultraviolet, or UV, health care provider or a dermatologist addition to melanoma, other kinds of skin he’s been watching porn a couple of times a week (at radiation from sunlight or tanning beds can biopsy and remove the mole to have cancer, including basal cell carcinoma least), for as far back as our computer history showed. increases your risk of developing the it checked for cancerous cells. This and squamous cell carcinoma, tend to I confronted him about it. He said it was no big deal — disease. procedure is usually quick, and it may be look like pink, red or scaly spots on your that most men have a porn habit. But it is a big deal to Moles often appear as small, dark all the treatment that is needed. skin that do not go away on their own. me. It has lowered my self-esteem and made me feel brown spots, and they are caused by When checking your moles, follow If you are found to have a mole that very lonely and unlovable — like it’s my fault that he clusters of pigmented cells. Moles the ABCDE guide from the American is cancerous, your doctor will perform a doesn’t want me. generally appear during childhood and Academy of Dermatology. Look for: surgical procedure to remove it. If you He acts like I should be OK with it, but to me, what adolescence. Most people have 10 to 40 — Asymmetry, where one half of a have a mole that causes irritation when he’s doing is a form of cheating. I don’t know what to moles. mole looks different than the other half. you shave, you also may want to have do or how to handle it. — Feeling Betrayed Moles can develop anywhere on your — Border irregularity, where borders it removed. : If this were indeed just a habit, then Dear Feeling body, including your scalp, armpits, of a mole are uneven, jagged or Finally, remember that prevention is there might be middle ground on which to meet him. under your nails, and between your scalloped. key. Whenever possible, stay out of the But when a behavior becomes so compulsive that it fingers and toes. They may contain hairs — Color variations within the same sun during the middle of the day when disrupts one’s marriage and prevents physical intimacy or become raised or wrinkled. Moles mole. UV light is the strongest. When you are for years on end, it’s no longer a habit. It’s an addiction. may change in appearance or fade — Diameter greater than the eraser tip outdoors, use sun-protective clothing and Have a heart-to-heart with your husband. While your away over time. Hormonal changes of of a pencil. a broad-spectrum UV A/UV B sunblock hurt feelings are understandable, try to set aside any adolescence and pregnancy can cause — Evolving color, shape or size. with a with a sun protection factor, or anger when you talk to him about this. Put love front moles to become darker and larger. Another helpful strategy is to look SPF, of at least 50. and center, expressing concern for his health and letting It is important to talk to your health for the so-called ugly duckling. Most — Dr. Jason Sluzevich, Dermatology, him know how his behavior impacts you. Hopefully, care provider if you notice any changes normal moles will look similar to each Mayo Clinic, Jacksonville, Florida he’ll be open to seeking help overcoming this addiction, through counseling or a support group. Regardless, you can seek help for yourself. Visit https://www. Postnatal depression not exclusive to birthing partner psychologytoday.com/groups/sexual-addiction, and enter your ZIP code to find groups for those addicted to Dear Doctors: I had a hard time after postpartum struggles. pornography as well as groups for spouses/partners. my son was born. I’d had postpartum So what’s going on? We already Dear Annie: I just spent my first Father’s Day depression with my first child, so I knew Ask the talked about the upheaval when an without my dad, who tragically passed away from what was happening. But when my infant joins the family. But it turns out, COVID-19 a few months ago. I am feeling heartbroken husband started having issues, our doctor Doctors men may also be dealing with hormonal but also grateful. Without a doubt in my mind or said postpartum depression happens to shifts. Studies have found that during a heart, the most significant trait that my beloved father men, too. How? I thought it had to do Dr. Ko and woman’s pregnancy and after she gives instilled in me through his role modeling of it is with hormones. Dr. Glazer birth, the father’s levels of testosterone, resilience. Dear Reader: Postpartum depression the so-called male hormone, can drop. At He developed this life-saving trait throughout a is the severe emotional and mental the same time, hormones associated with difficult childhood and continued relying on it through struggle some women undergo in the You asked specifically about men, women, such as estrogen and prolactin, serious debilitating health issues later on in his life, weeks and months after giving birth. and an analysis in the Journal of the go up. So does the stress hormone always facing each one with grit and grace. This includes feelings of anxiety, American Medical Association found cortisol. These changes, along with the I have also been experiencing an exceptionally sadness, hopelessness, exhaustion, that up to 10% of men worldwide neurological stresses of baby-induced challenging life, the latest bump in the road being worthlessness and guilt. It’s different experience paternal postnatal depression sleep deprivation, can tip the scales into an aggressive form of cancer. My deeply entrenched from what is sometimes referred to as between the first trimester of pregnancy a bout of paternal postnatal depression. resiliency has and continues to be invaluable. Thank the “baby blues” in that postpartum and the first year of the baby’s life. When It’s a condition that affects not only the you, Daddy. — Grateful Daughter depression is more severe and long- looking at the first three-to-six-month individual, but also their partner, the Dear Grateful: I’m so sorry for your loss and your lasting. postpartum period, that number jumped baby and the family as a whole. diagnosis. They say we should be the things we loved You’re correct that postpartum to up to 25%. That’s almost triple the 9% For many men, there may be most about the people who are gone. It sounds like depression is linked to the complex of men who report regular feelings of reluctance to admit that anything is you’re living that credo. Your dad would be proud. hormonal shifts that occur after giving anxiety and depression. Some symptoms wrong. The good news is that talk Dear Annie: In several columns, you’ve mentioned birth. However, the changes to sleep, — such as feeling sad, hopeless or therapy, as well as medication, are often Match.com as a good place for singles to meet other social life, daily routine, responsibility overwhelmed — overlap with what successful in treating the condition.