Wednesday 17th June 2015 Number 791 May Week Issue
Est. 1947 2 Wednesday 17th June 2015 Editorial May Week & journalism: both just products?
Like many traditions of Cambridge, May Week yellow to red like the sun, rising in the east and out. he old breed of broadsheet journalism, is sold as an ideal. An ideal of what hard work and setting in the west, never quite sure where it some claim, is careering towards obliteration. determination can give us: champagne-soaked stands, or what it should be. decadence at the best party in the world. As Peter Stothard, editor of the TLS and former Journalism is similarly packaged as a glittering Times editor, tells us in the interview in this is- his ideal, however, is as wrong as the month surface of supericially alluring headlines, promis- sue: “It’s dangerous to abandon the whole of the May Week claims to be in. he limbo between ing empty notions of fun and sensation. Clickbait heritage”, and the Times has proved that there is the end of exams and the start of celebrations reels readers in with lurid headlines ofering fun still a market for broadsheet journalism unreliant sees students swing between their beds and their procrastination, but the articles ofer nothing but on clickbait. Despite Wikipedia founder Jimmy college bars: where they will drink the life out of vacuous luf. Wales declaring its paywall, “a foolish experi- themselves all in the name of tradition. It’s what ment”, it has moved the paper back to proit. you do, right? Needlessly and heedlessly get into We’ve seen the Tab try things like a wild state of Dionysian abandon – just because? ‘Procrasturbation’ and ‘If you’re not at Oxbridge So both May Week and journalism can be re- It has its place, perhaps, as the presidents of you’re wasting your time’. Similarly, TCS has tried deemed, taken away from the supericial packag- drinking societies might tell you. But really, May to ofer lists of ‘hings to do in 3 hours instead of ing of their commodiication and imbued with Week is a simple idea behind May Ball tickets. an exam’, in a truly BuzzFeed vein. And it strikes the authenticity they deserve. We simply need And it’s something that countless covers of past me that this is what the future of student journal- to remember not to expect perfection, and in- May Week issues of Varsity and every other stu- ism faces: the risk of provocation and pastiche. stead just enjoy the music, the ireworks, the dent newspaper have told us. As the Guardian columnist-cum-BuzzFeed edi- drinks and good company. A similar authentic- tor, Bim Adewunmi, told Varsity earlier this term: ity can be found in journalism through simple he idea behind this May Ball issue was some- people aren’t afraid to be published online any- means. Broadsheets such as the Times and the thing diferent. Acknowledging the heritage of more. And as journalism accordingly shifts on- Wall Street Journal have lourished by putting May Week and Varsity, by using an old Varsity line, the number of likes a piece receives deter- high-quality journalism behind online paywalls. heading font, but giving the mood of May Week, mines how ‘good’ it is. Just as the number of clicks For May Week and journalism alike, substance EDITORIAL rather than the ideal. he colour oscillates from determines what newspapers should be churning triumphs over style at their peril.
NEWS A day with Zeichner Applications are still open to Joe Robinson catches up with the newly elected Labour MP (page 3) join the Varsity editorial team. NEWS The deadline is 5pm Friday May Week Varsity documents the post-exam revelry in all its glory 26th June. (pages 6-7) INTERVIEW See page 26 for more details. Sir Peter Stothard Talia Zybutz talks to the journalism stalwart about our evolving media landscape (page 12) To get involved this term, COMMENT email [email protected]. Assessing the electorate Vincent Garton on why it’s okay to question the popular vote (page 16) FEATURES Breaking in Advertise with us A guide to sneaking, bluing, and blagging your way into May Balls (page 23) To advertise in any of our print publications or on our website, please contact our Business Manager REVIEWS Telephone: 01223 337575 Email: [email protected] London Road Website: www.varsitypublications.co.uk Jim Hilton is ambivalent about this controversial musical (page 29)
E William Hutton @.. D E Ciara Nugent @.. A E Tom Freeman @.. B M Mark Curtis @. . P D E Michael Curtis, Phoebe Stone, Talia Zybutz @.. N E Daniel Hepworth (Senior) & Bathsheba Wells-Dion (Deputy) @.. A N E James Sutton & Richard Nicholl @.. S E Keertan Kini @.. I E Margot Speed @.. C E Alex Matthews (Senior), Noa Lessof-Gendler, Bret Cameron & Millie Brierley @.. M E Isobel Cockerell @.. B E Emily Page @.. S E Will Roberts @.. Arts Editor Victoria King @.. E Ellie Olcott & Tom Wheeldon @.. F E Meg Honigmann @.. T E George Ramsay (Senior) & Nathaniel Hess (Deputy) @.. S E Zack Case @.. O E Ellie Matthews & Catherine Maguire @.. P Simon Lock & Johannes Hjorth P E Simon Lock @.. I, Sophia Buck, Ben Waters, Georgia Turner, Jack Parham & Pheobe Stone @.. V B Dr Michael Franklin (Chairman), Prof. Peter Robinson, Dr Tim Harris, Chris Wright, Michael Derringer, Michael Curtis (VarSoc President), Amy Hawkins, Talia Zybutz
NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT Varsity, Old Examination Hall, Free School Lane, Cambridge CB2 3RF. Tel 01223 337575. Fax 01223 760949. Varsity is published by Varsity Publications Ltd. Varsity Publications also publishes the Mays. RECYCLING Recycled paper made ©2015 Varsity Publications Ltd. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. up 78.9% of the raw material for UK Printed at Iliffe Print Cambridge — Winship Road, Milton, Cambridge CB24 6PP on 42.5gsm newsprint. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office. ISSN 1758-4442 newspapers in 2011 NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT News Wednesday 17th June 2015 3 A day with Daniel Zeichner MP: thoughts on a bittersweet victory
the Labour Party in Cambridge”. He is Zeichner’s response to the national Joe Rob nson quick to praise the work of Cambridge result, like many Labour fi gures, was Sen or News Correspondent Universities Labour Club (CULC), one of shock and disbelief. e result JOE ROBINSON credited in many quarters as having in the East of England, which included played a crucial role in Zeichner’s nar- a number of Labour-Tory marginals Daniel Zeichner MP may not look like row victory. the party was forecast to win, “wasn’t a marathon runner, but as he crossed what we were expecting, it wasn’t what the fi nish line on the morning of 8th we were hearing”, and tells me he has May one could be forgiven for noting lined up meetings with colleagues over a certain athletic relief among the cel- the weekend to talk about the party’s ebrations. failure to live up to expectations. e 58-year-old, who was a mid- I THINK THE INPUT FROM Having previously worked as a dle-distance runner in his youth, has political offi cer for the trade union proved his political stamina in 36 years STUDENT CAMPAIGNERS WAS UNISON, Zeichner was ambivalent in the Labour Party. 2015 was his fi fth PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT about the atmosphere and culture attempt to enter Parliament, having of the Palace of Westminster. He de- come a close third in the 2010 election scribed the swearing-in process as a and only narrowly secured reselection “very odd thing”, and said that the ini- for the Cambridge constituency. “I think the input from student cam- tial experience of Westminster “can be Despite polls indicating a strong hold paigners was particularly signifi cant”, a bit overwhelming in some ways”. for the incumbent, Julian Huppert was he says. It seems that any pride at defy- While he was quick to acknowl- narrowly defeated by Zeichner. e ing the political odds in Cambridge is edge that “the wider world loves it”, new MP’s 599-vote majority is now the tarnished by national disappointment: Zeichner characterised the atmos- 18th narrowest in the country, amid though “delighted that people sup- phere of the House of Commons as a sea of Conservative victories across ported us”, he (understatedly) calls the one which could isolate new MPs.; in England in the most crushing defeat national result “very disappointing”. this respect, he mirrors his predeces- for Labour in decades. Labour gained overall English votes sor, who complained of endemic bul- As local and student activists sang compared to 2010, but Labour still lost lying in the Commons. the Red Flag outside the Guildhall Daniel Zeichner on the campaign trail seats, while its vote and seat share col- “My own feeling is that it can dis- on that fateful night, Zeichner was lapsed in Scotland. Current polls and tract you from the core business that faced with the prospect of a House of reliance on rambunctious and often Zeichner has mixed emotions. “It research suggest that, without a sig- you should be here for, which is repre- Commons where not only would the unruly Tory backbenchers – just as was obviously terrifi cally exciting, nifi cant recovery in Scotland, Labour senting people and trying to do some- Conservatives have their fi rst majority John Major did before him. and quite tense, for quite a lot of the needs a swing in excess of that which it thing about the challenges facing peo- in 23 years, but that David Cameron’s Refl ecting on that evening as I talked night”, he says, adding that it was a received in 1997 if it is to win an out- ple’s lives”. majority was so slim as to require his to him in the House of Commons, “wonderful moment for me and for right majority in 2020. Continued on page 4 4 Wednesday 17th June 2015 News Sandi Toksvig celebrates ‘Women of the Year’ awards at Newnham those who had not. She discovered Rebecca Moore & that graduates had a much lower rate Hannah Graham of fertility, and those graduates who
News Correspondents JO TYNAN CREDIT: did decide to have children had them much later. On Saturday, Newnham College played Wolf attributed this phenomenon host to the 60th anniversary celebra- to an “outsourcing of carework”, es- tions of the Women of the Year foun- pecially middle-class, white Western dation. Founded in 1955 to celebrate women, who relied on what Wolf and further women’s achievements in called the “global care chain”; this all fi elds, Women of the Year has for concept, pioneered by Professor Arlie 60 years organised grants and support for charities working with women, as well as an annual lunch and lecture to which infl uential and successful wom- en from all areas of professional life are invited THE REAL DIVISION LAY BETWEEN MIDDLE CLASS AND WORKING CLASS WOMEN WOMEN OF THE YEAR HAS Hochschild at UC Berkeley, is used to RECOGNISED THE INCREDIBLE illustrate the crucial role of migrant women workers in the care sector in WORK OF HUGE NUMBERS OF wealthy countries. WOMEN, FROM SINGERS TO Speaking to Varsity after the talk, Toksvig (right) joined guests to celebrate the ‘Women of the Year’ awards Journalist and Broadcaster Julie SHEPHERDESSES women’s education to shepherdesses. and working class women. Etchingham, a graduate of English Women of the Year president, co- e focus of the event was a keynote Wolf claimed that “the impact of from Newnham, commended Women median, politician and Cambridge speech by economist Alison Wolf, this seismic shift” means “inequality of the Year’s work in celebrating the Previous ‘Women of the Year’ in- alumna Sandi Toksvig addressed the Professor of Public Sector Management among women is growing faster than achievements of women from across clude human rights lawyers, philan- audience of Newnham alumni and at King’s College London. e speech, among men”. She went on to explain the spectrum of class. thropists, Olympic and Paralympic former women of the year, refl ecting based on her book ‘ e XX Factor’, ex- that we are experiencing “the end of Etchingham explained that whilst medallists, anti-FGM campaigners on over twenty years of involvement plored the intersection between gen- sisterhood”, as women have far less high profi le and celebrity women do and inventors. with the organisation. der and class. in common in virtue of being women receive awards, much of the most im- e afternoon began with a speech She told the distinguished crowd Wolf argued that the fault lines of the than was once the case. portant work of Women of the Year in- given by Principal of Newnham that over this time, Women of the Year gender divide could no longer be drawn Most of Wolf’s research was focused volves recognising the vital work done College Dame Carol Black, discussing has recognised the incredible work of between men and women. Instead, the on the diff erence between women who by extraordinary women who rarely the ongoing work of the foundation in huge numbers of women, from singers real division lay between middle class had graduated from university, and receive public praise.
Continued from page 3 the right answers” in terms of Labour’s diff ering qualities, and the campaign On analysing the causes of Labour’s policy off ering. over the next few weeks and months, Cambridge Lego professor to be defeat, Zeichner warned against reach- Instead of laying much of the blame I think, will probably reveal who’s best ing conclusions too quickly, arguing at the feet of policy, he pinpoints placed to take it on.” the fi rst in the country that it is “too early to come up with Labour’s failure to connect with voters Despite calls from some leftist clear answers”. He claims there is a and win their trust: “We really need to students for Zeichner to nominate Cambridge University is planning to – the board are looking for a candidate “danger in assuming that just because go back particularly to some parts of Corbyn, he backed Shadow Home recruit a professor of Lego, after a do- whose work falls “within the general Labour didn’t win, that Labour’s analy- the electorate and work hard to per- nation from the company. fi eld of the title of the offi ce”. sis of what’s wrong with the country is suade them that they can trust us, be- e successful candidate will be the A Cambridge University spokesper- therefore somehow invalid.” cause clearly they didn’t”. head of a new research department son said more details will be provided Weighing in on the upcoming within the Faculty of Education. after the proposal has been presented Labour leadership election, he quips e general board has recommend- to Regent House in October. However that the most important quality of the ed the Lego professorship to start in Vice-chancellor Sir Leszek Borysiewicz next Labour leader is to “be popular”, MILIBAND WAS SUBJECTED TO October 2015 after £4m was donated says he has “accepted with gratitude” a but says he does not blame the widely A HUGE AND UNWARRANTED by the Lego Foundation towards the benefaction of £1.5m from the Lego OUR ANALYSIS ABOUT A LOW- mocked performance of the former project. Foundation, payable over three years. WAGE, LOW-PRODUCTIVITY, leader Ed Miliband for Labour’s loss ATTACK, PARTICULARLY FROM e professor will be the direc- As one student told Varsity: in May. tor of the Research Centre on Play in “Everything is awesome, especially TOO-BIG-A-GAP-BETWEEN-THE- Instead, he praises the Labour lead- PARTS OF THE PRINT MEDIA Education, Development and Learning this!” er’s performance during the campaign. TOP-AND-BOTTOM WORLD IS “He came on very well during the elec- RIGHT tion”, asserts Zeichner. John’s fi nds Magna Carta copy Reserved for Zeichner’s ire is re- Secretary Yvette Cooper, the MP for served for the press. Attacks on the Normanton, Pontefract and Castleford A previously unnoticed copy of Magna about documents he believed might Labour leader varied: for some stories, and wife of the former shadow Carta has been uncovered by a Cam- contain clauses from the charter. is Miliband was a ruthless, fratricidal Chancellor Ed Balls. bridge college. particular copy is in scroll form, used egomaniac with a string of celebrity No favourite has yet emerged in the e copy, owned by and discovered to circulate parts of the documents
RICHARD NICHOLL lovers; in others, he was a bumbling, contest, which is to be held under the within St John’s College, was found throughout medieval England. stumbling, mumbling incompetent. new leadership election rules cham- during research marking the 800th an- St John’s has released images of the Like Neil Kinnock and Gordon Brown pioned by the departed Ed Miliband. niversary of the document, sealed by copy ahead of the Magna Carta an- before him, says Zeichner, Miliband Despite owing his election to union King John at Runnymede in modern- niversary on June 15. e college ar- was “subjected to a huge and unwar- votes, his dilution of their electoral in- day Surrey in 1215 to placate barons chivist, Tracy Deakin, said: “A couple ranted attack, particularly from parts fl uence is perhaps his most important dissatisfi ed with his rule. of generations back, archivists did a of the print media” despite – or per- legacy as Labour leader. e copy, which dates to the 14th very diff erent type of job and would haps because of – his stronger, more So far, Labour’s icy relationship with century, was uncovered by research- not have been able to command the confi dent performance in the fi nal few business, its neglect of so-called ‘aspi- ers working on behalf of the National same kind of accessible detail about weeks of the campaign. rational’ voters and its utter failure to Magna Carta Project (NMCP), and is everything in their archive in the way He concluded that because Labour convince on issues of economic com- thought to have been commissioned we can now”. As such, she said, it is not leaders are “always going to get that”, it petence and immigration have pre- by Edward I. uncommon for historical documents would be necessary for Labour to pick sented the main debate. Judging by previous auctions, the to resurface from archives. “somebody who is even more bullet- Yet the next fi ve years will be a manuscript could be worth tens of Events took place over the weekend proof” as its next leader. marathon, not a sprint. If Labour is to thousands of pounds and was proba- in Runnymede to celebrate the anni- He defends Labour’s overall ap- On the current contenders, who hold Cambridge at the next election, bly hitherto unknown to historians. Its versary of Magna Carta. Her Majesty proach. “Our analysis about a low- include Andy Burnham, Yvette maintain its council control and fi nally signifi cance was only realised when the the Queen unveiled a plaque to com- wage, low-productivity, too-big-a-gap- Cooper, Liz Kendall and latecomer achieve a majority again, Zeichner will head of the NMCP, Professor Nicholas memorate the ancient document, between-the-top-and-bottom world is Jeremy Corbyn, Zeichner said that need to bring that endurance and com- Vincent of the University of East sometimes seen as the fi rst restriction right”, arguing that “we had the some of “all the leadership candidates have got mitment to bear once more. Anglia, contacted the college to ask on English kingship. RBB Economics offers career opportunities for entry level economists
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I once overheard a Cambridge DoS your very soul was sucked away by describe Murray Edwards College as ‘a brutal unending torture of queuing prison of their own making’. Never has for an hour for a slice of pizza; if you this been more true than at this year’s didn’t, you began to slowly waste away Emmanuel Garden Party. at Medwards Dome, through lack of nourishment. A garden followed a similar pattern: all of the ring-fenced by impenetrable white party is not a fun place to be if you’re usual favourites with a few fl ourishes. railings, is indeed diffi cult to get into famished. e only sensible solution e open-air cinema, which stood in or out of at the best of times. Yet this was to drink: mercifully, the bar was the front of a large shisha area, was a nice year the organisers apparently ‘forgot’ only place free of the dreaded queue, Emmanuel’s ‘Naturalis Historiæ’ was idea and added another dimension to order fencing, and so, on the and so you could down fl at, warm, an enchanting and faultlessly tasteful may of colour and interest to the Chapman’s morning of the party, they allegedly overly strong G&Ts and watered down ball. Entering at North court, we wandered Garden area. e GIF-maker photo booth dropped £8,000 on some makeshift beers to your heart’s content. through an underground tunnel lined with was extremely popular, and UV Ping-Pong garden fencing. e idea that eight It would have been nice to have some multicolored origami to arrive at the heart of was an interesting addition (though this grand’s worth of gate crashers would comic relief, and though the Medwards the ball. A moving dinosaur and its trainer certainly isn’t a spectator sport; watching have sussed it is entirely absurd. One organisesrs did invite a number of welcomed us before we set out on a quest drunk people play table-tennis in the dark gate crasher who did manage to break comedians and give them free tickets, across the grounds of Emma to sample as is, I discovered, quite frustrating). Crazy in was heard saying “I broke in but they neglected to erect a comedy tent, much as we could of the food, drink, music golf and ‘Airdressing’ (elaborate balloon now I’m trying to break out.” so the comedians were left to mill and entertainments that made up the night’s headdresses) were among the other at- ere is an inexplicable cult appeal around haplessly, telling jokes to who- impressive programme. tractions. e comedy and spoken word to Murray Edwards College. Every ever cared to listen. performances were a fun respite from the Saturday students from all the hill Relief at last came in the form of e food was plentiful, and interesting rest of the ball; it was a good idea to host colleges fl ock like rats to the hallowed Xavier Hetherington’s Disco Biscuits, too; there was a marked departure from the these in an isolated room in the Upper Hall, Medwards brunch, where the waffl es who played a brilliant, crowd-pleasing stock food vendors that you fi nd at most where they were not subject to the noisy and hash browns are not in any way set with all the classics and allowed balls. As well as the donut, candyfl oss, pizza disruptions that plague spoken acts at other discernible from those proff ered at everyone to dance away their misery and cheese stalls that dotted the courts and may balls. Fitz, Churchill or Lucy Cav. And yet under a leaden sky, fuelled mainly by halls, there were some unfamiliar choices: the halls in those colleges are desolate fl at Pimms with no fruit, or a lick of paella, Millie’s Cookies and Bad Brownies, e music was diverse and kept momen- come brunch time, while Medwards someone else’s ice cream. mac and cheese. A particular highlight was tum across four stages throughout the night. is heaving, the queue snaking through It is safe to say that the cult of Baba G’s, which served delicious Indian- Pendulum drew a predictably large crowd. the college, everyone chasing some- Medwards may truly be at an end, and style wraps and pachos (poppadum nachos). e two-channel silent disco was popular thing – only they’re not quite sure Dome is defi nitely not where the heart ere was a massive amount of choice in as ever and struck a good balance between what. e story of Medwards brunch is. drinks; from port, liqueurs and wines to pop, Hip-Hop and other super-danceable and Medwards Garden Party is much Isobel Cockerell rum and shot bars. e craft ale stall was a music. e tent that stood in the Fellow’s the same: both are nothing more or nice addition, and the espresso bar, which Garden and was given over to jazz and folk less than an orgy of queuing. Queuing buzzed all night at its hideaway in the acts, including Churchill Jazz and Laurie for what? One NatSci used a very Fellow’s Garden, was a welcome and neces- Lewis and the Fat Cats, was a particular niche but spectacularly apt metaphor sary presence at around 4am. My one qualm highlight. to describe the aff air: “it’s like an ant was that water was not readily death circle,” he said “when ants get available throughout All in all, a lot of fun. confused by each other’s pherom- the night. Edwards Garden Party Murray ones and start marching in a circle, Martha Elwell and more and more join until e ents they’re trapped in a spiral of death, and none of them know what they’re looking for or why they’re milling around in circles, and so they all begin to die of exhaustion.” You couldn’t win – if you queued, News Wednesday 17th June 2015 7 SIMON LOCK SIMON LOCK
Obviously I wasn’t expecting less, the chance to boogie to their covers of but the Trinity May Ball really was Chuck Berry and the Jackson Five. Set on the river, (‘pachos’) were of great quality, but one of the most spectacular nights ere was a point in the evening Clare is a college that evaporated a little early – however, I’ve ever experienced. ere was some when I found myself on a lawn clutch- easily lends itself the gorgeous cocktails were still fl ow- initial panic over the power cut and ing a glass of champers watching a to creating a magi- ing at 3am and tasted just as good as various rumours that the champagne fi reworks show with people clad in Clare cal atmosphere, and at 9pm. Headline act Professor Green, and oysters were warming up, but princess ball gowns and I thought to its ‘Imaginarium’ delivering a brilliantly aggressive and these fears were quelled by, well, the myself, this is sort of the peak of all themed ball on intense performance, seemed tickled copious amounts of perfectly chilled things magnifi cent. Somehow the at- Monday night beautifully exploited pink to be there, and was received with oysters and champagne laid out near mosphere had me bouncing up and this to its full potential. Boasting an enormous enthusiasm. In contrast, the main stage. down like an electrocuted ferret to enormous variety of entertainments, Fitz Swing Band provided a glamor- I didn’t stop eating for about the fi rst songs I didn’t even know, and placated from liqueur and chocolate tastings, ous soundtrack to guests’ arrival, and two hours, and then I didn’t stop danc- me when the brisk morning air threat- to the classic silent disco and dodg- chauff eured punting throughout the ing/drinking for the remaining seven, ened to get the better of me. I was ems, alongside a ‘live owl experience’, night further enhanced the desired except for a couple of breaks in the warmed and soothed by four cheese burlesque performance in- decadence. surprisingly clean portaloos, a round toasties and a 5am dark and stormy, volving snakes, and laser of Dodgems and a heavenly twenty which are both fairly good ways to be quest, Clare delivered; As party girl Jordan Baker wanly ob- minutes in the hair and makeup room, warmed and soothed. And then I took
tarot card and palm served in Fitzgerald’s e Great Gatsby, Trinity where I got to kick off my (gold) shoes my shoes off before I crawled into readings proved ex- ‘I like large parties, they’re so intimate’; and have my face and head stroked bed at six, and that was even more tremely popular and at Clare, whilst only contrived refer- which was SO NICE. Massive credit wonderful. provided a novel allu- ences were made to the theme in décor has to go to the Bonbonbonbons who, sion to the theme, my (a hanging assembly of bowler hats in aside from all being very Noa Lessof-Gendler only criticism be- homage to surrealist Rene Magritte in- good looking, kept a ing they simply evitably being depleted throughout the crowd going in the couldn’t cater night as revelers supplemented their Jazz Tent for their to demand. attire), the comparatively small Old entire splendid C u p c a k e s , Court and illuminated pockets of gar- set and made me m a c a r o n i dens enabled an event with impressive forgo waffl es for and cheese, scope to retain the air of an exclusive falafel, and private party often lost at larger col- intriguing leges. A stellar night. poppadum n a c h o s Phoebe Stone 8 Wednesday 17th June 2015 News Campaign against public display of results the respective departments. Reasons outside the Senate House and in the […]I went on for a long period having someone to discuss, to debate and for the initiative listed by the group relevant department, but that requires to handle regular questioning from support when you do feel that.” Liliya Aleksandrova include: that the current system pro- a form to be illed. he Guidance Note people who couldn’t understand why I Until 2010, results were displayed News Correspondent on Withholding Names from Class had ‘failed’ (despite getting honours). publicly before the students received Lists states that the application, which I had to explain about my depression them privately. his changed to the needs to be submitted by the stu- to get people to stop being so nosy on current system following a campaign To date, more than 1,200 students dent’s Tutor to the Secretary of the an incredibly personal issue.’ by CUSU, and ended a 300-year-old from the University of Cambridge Applications Committee, “will only be he campaign has been gathering tradition. Meanwhile, the University have signed a petition organised by MURRAY EDWARDS HAVE considered where there are exception- support in the media and has received of Oxford has kept exam results pri- the student campaign group ‘Our al circumstances and for good cause, attention from many national publi- vate since October 2009 after 40% of Grade, Our Choice’. he petition’s aim ENDED THE PUBLIC DISPLAY OF such as where there is demonstrable cations, ranging from the Guardian to students had opted out of the practice, is “to allow students […] to decide medical (e.g. from a GP or Counsellor) Seventeen. using the Data Protection Act. whether or not they appear on public EXAM RESULTS WITHIN THE and or/other appropriate supporting Helen Hoogewerf-McComb, CUSU On 30 May, ‘Our Grade, Our university class lists”. COLLEGE evidence that publication would be president, added to the debate saying Choice’ forwarded the petition, as well A recent update on the campaign’s likely seriously to endanger a student’s : “While the university does have a as comments, testimonials, and an ac- Facebook page has shown that JCRs, health or mental well-being”. right to publish examination results companying letter to the University. namely Murray Edwards, have ended he campaign, on the other hand, without gaining students’ prior con- A university spokesperson conirmed the public display of exam results motes a culture of grade shaming; stresses that students with mental sent, it also has a duty to provide an on Monday that the petition will be within the college. he post praised that the publication of grades may health issues may ind the whole proc- appropriate mechanism for students conirmed on 1 July by the “General the college, saying: “In response to cause mental health episodes; that it ess overwhelming, and that it could to opt out, particularly where publica- Board’s Education Committee”. this campaign our [Murray Edwards] ignores the right of privacy; and that it trigger an episode even if their grades tion may cause distress or harm.” “For the present time, the Senior Tutor initiated (!!) discussion presents the results without any con- are not actually published. Mary Beard, a professor of Classics University’s position is that Class with the JCR about the Class Lists that text. he public listing of grades also Testimonials posted by the cam- at the University of Cambridge, has Lists will be published in accordance are usually put up near our plodge and allows for photographs to be taken, paign organisers on its Facebook commented in her TLS blog ‘A Don’s with the University’s Statutes and have agreed not to publish them this which can then be posted on social page recount mental health episodes Life’: “[…] universities are not sup- Ordinances”. year - a step in the right direction!” media, leaving afected students with connected to the public posting of posed to be places (surely?) where “there are procedures whereby stu- Under the current system, results no way to control the process. grades. you always feel comfortable, or safe, dent can apply through their colleges, are posted in a number of ways: on- It is possible for a student to request One of them states: ‘In my Part II or unthreatened. hey are supposed for their names to be withheld from line, outside the Senate House, and in for the class mark to not be shown year I sufered greatly with depression. to be places where you feel there is Class Lists”. Formal dress code no longer
gendered Open up the Arts THE CAMBRIDGE JUNCTION Helen Cahill Anna Bockmuehl talks to the director News Correspondent of the Cambridge Junction
In a irst for the university, St. Ca- tharine’s has scrapped the gendered dress code of its formal dinners, free- ing trans students from the institu- tion’s out-dated and oppressive rules governing dining dress. “his makes Catz formals a place to express yourself in a new spectrum of ways”, said Charlie Northrop, who spearheaded the campaign, in an email to the student body. “Men can wear dresses, women can wear suits, and non-binary people are free to deine the outits that feel most appropriate to them in a formal setting.” Charlie began transitioning this year, and as the Formal Hall oicer for the MCR, she was thrilled that the Dean suggested the wording of the dress code should be changed when she emailed to ask about it. She says she was overwhelmed by the positive response from students on telling them the news, and feels ‘en- couraged and proud’ that the students and fellows of St. Catharine’s were so enthusiastic about creating more inclu- sive environment for trans students. ince the economic upheaval of 2007, the Arts Sector have decided to make a move in the arts, or any other industry. Great care was taken to ensure the there has been an ever-growing crisis in towards only ofering paid internships, and these If this scheme funded by the Jerwood correct wording of the new dress code, the Arts Sector. Jobs are competitive and often rely heavily upon charitable funding. Brine Foundation marks a wider trend in the arts sec- says Ellie Chan, the college’s MCR incredibly hard to come by with many spoke of a new scheme that the Cambridge tor then there is reason to be optimistic. Brine President. In a typically academic people forced to complete years of un- Junction and Kettle’s Yard have become involved airms, “Huge eforts are being made to increase fashion, there were lengthy discus- paidS internships before landing their irst paid job with, funded by the Jerwood foundation. He the diversity of the industry, in terms of ethnic sions over the deinition of a suit, and in museums, recording studios and theatres. explained “this particular fund, is interested in minorities, women and people from a lower the fellows instigated a spirited debate his system clearly favours those that are people who have gone to university and have socio-economic background”. He goes on to de- over the diferences between men and inancially better of since candidates from less received a full grant through their course…in scribe how efective the government’s apprentice- women’s formal shirts. privileged backgrounds cannot aford to work people who have come from a social economic ships programs are “which have enabled people he dress code campaign was a com- for nothing; diversity within the art industries is background where they might not be able to af- from all walks of life to break into industries tra- mittee-wide efort, and the combined diminishing. Speaking to Daniel Brine, Managing ford to work for nothing.” ditionally only available to those with a university work of the St. Catherine’s MCR and Director at the Cambridge Junction, he explained his kind of responsible internship seems very degree”. And undoubtedly in the long term the JCR is inspiring other colleges to adopt that for this reason the Junction “like a lot of much in keeping with what Arts Council England arts sector will lourish with the new ideas that a similarly progressive ethos. Clare people in the arts, no longer ofer unpaid intern- was propounding in 2011, and Brine conirms diversity brings. college has already emailed Charlie to ships”. his is indicative of the distinct change that such a scheme has come about “because Brine believes that these problems will not dis- request materials, so that they might in the tide of opinion that has occurred in the Arts Council England has sent out a very, very appear overnight, but there is hope that changes match St. Catharine’s progressive past couple of years. Arts Council England ad- clear message that it is no longer appropriate for will occur. He predicts “I think we’ll see some big ethos. dressed the issue in 2011, publishing ‘A guide for organisations to have unpaid internships.” he changes, social shifts and growing opportunities he revised dress code for formal arts organisations’ on ofering internships. he ending of unpaid internships will also put a stop over the next few years, especially for young peo- halls now includes the statement: Chief Executive emphasised in the foreword that to arts organisations exploiting free labour under ple”. For those interested in the Weston Jerwood, “Members and their guests must be employers have certain “responsibilities when the guise of ofering that all-important ‘work or other paid internships, visit the Arts Council dressed in suitably smart dress. ‘Smart ofering this kind of position”. experience’, which has become widely accepted as England website for advice. dress’ is deined without reference to Recently, large and inluential institutions in essential for young people who want to get a job considerations of gender identity or expression.” 23 MARKET STREET, CAMBRIDGE
Tel: 01223 367 792 WWW.BUTCHANNIES.COM 10 Wednesday 17th June 2015 News Review: Agora’s Ticket Marketplace
May Week’s end. A security success and Given that safety in ticket sales was
more effi cient experience SIMON LOCK key in this iteration of the new market- place, the progress made is admirable. for general ticket sales Yet the next stride for the platform may well be removing excess friction Keertan K n in the process. While it is easier to post tickets and fi nd them, the nego- News Correspondent tiations behind the name change and other details take place off of the plat- “Safe and Secure Ticket Sales” is what form. ese negotiations are required Agora’s new May Week marketplace in every means of selling tickets, but promised, and it lives up to this. Ago- Agora has a unique opportunity to ra has solved its target issue and has work with May Ball committees to done so with style: while sending large take care of name changes and the sums of money blindly to strangers is a like. Such a collaboration would not leap of faith, sending it to Agora as an only standardize and optimize diff er- escrow is safer. ent ticketing processes across colleges Payments for posted tickets are but also would remove pressure from made via bank transfer to Agora, and the committees to handle each name then the buyer and seller are connect- change individually via email. One ed to fi gure out details about name reason that name changes are so ex- changes, etc. As the Agora team puts pensive is as a deterrent to numerous it, “[W]e act as a kind of fi nancial in- and arduous ticket changes. termediary, holding the buyer’s pay- Similarly, among many diff erent on- ment securely until everyone’s happy line payment options such as PayPal with the sale. e payment is passed or Venmo, only bank transfers are ac- from Agora to the seller if and only if cepted. While not necessary, provid- both seller and buyer agree that they Agora’s May Week platform: a useful tool or profiteering on ticket exchanges? ing greater breadth of options would are satisfi ed.” be icing on the prove rbial cake. Beyond the payment security, the e new May Ball platform provides platform is pleasing. Agora uses the only are the features easy to under- of posts or using friends of friends to e price is slightly increased from safety and security and a smoother Django web framework for the web- stand, but also the layout is clean. In shed unwanted tickets, the posts on advertised given that Agora needs means to transfer tickets, and should site’s backend that also backs Pinterest particular, with all the details for dif- Agora are compiled and available con- funds to support the service and that be applauded as the fi rst iteration. and Instagram among other serveic- ferent Garden Parties and events, the sistently until sold. Cheaper tickets part of every sale is given to charity, Nevertheless, now the platform is up es. React.js is used for the frontend, page as a one-stop glance for major are easier to fi nd and get snapped up but the marginal increase is worth it. and running, Agora should be bold used by Facebook, Netfl ix and Khan events occurring during May Week. quickly as email notifi cations are sent According to the Agora team, they moving forward in ensuring that the Academy. e tools are well utilized. For sellers, rather than relying upon whenever new June Event and May project that about £2,000 will have experience of exchanging May Ball e user interface is simple. Not being at the top of the Facebook list Ball tickets are posted. been raised for various charities by tickets is as frictionless as possible. Science: e recap theory of evolution
An ket Patel the similarities between the embryos in his drawings and was therefore ac- Sc ence Correspondent cused by his contemporaries of dis- torting the images. Most people have heard of Charles Darwin’s view of the theory was Darwin and his theory of evolution slightly diff erent from Haeckel’s. He
by means of natural selection. While believed that the certain embryonic WIKICOMMONS: NICK HOPWOOD this theory is widely accepted by the stages of a species resembled the cor- scientifi c community today, Darwin responding embryonic stages of relat- unsurprisingly faced widespread op- ed species, as opposed to their adult position when he fi rst published his forms as Haeckel advocated. Darwin’s book, On the Origin of Species. He view has since been confi rmed by had anticipated this reaction and had modern evolutionary developmental accumulated support for his theory biologists. that he included in his book – one of Evolutionary developmental biol- these pieces of support was recapitu- ogy is a relatively new science that lation theory. views evolution as the result of chang- Recapitulation theory, also known es in development. When Darwin was as the ‘biogenetic law’ or ‘embryologi- writing On the Origin of Species, he cal parallelism’, is best summarised in consulted his friend and fellow biolo- the words of the 19th century German gist omas Huxley about the origins scientist Ernst Haeckel: “Ontogeny re- of variation. Huxley told Darwin that capitulates phylogeny.” In plain terms, the variation between species was due the development of an animal from to diff erences in their development an embryo to an adult mirrors the and that these diff erences “result not evolution of that animal. e concept so much of the development of new is an ancient one, having been fi rst parts as of the modifi cation of parts formulated as a theory on the origin already existing and common to both Ernst Haeckel’s allegedly fraudulent embryo drawings from his textbook Anthropogenie of language by the Egyptian Pharoah the divergent types.” Psamtik I. Some Victorian evolu- is is one of the key concepts be- from diff erent traits in the womb. with the human circulatory system. in the adult. e aortic arch arteries tionists used the theory as evidence hind evolutionary developmental bi- Although embryological develop- e fi sh’s system consists of one ven- must therefore have evolved from a to promote the concept of evolution ology: if development is the change of ment may not exactly mirror the evo- tral (bottom, near the fi sh’s belly) aor- common evolutionary ancestor of following the publication of Darwin’s gene expression and cell position over lution of a species as Haeckel believed, ta and two dorsal (top, near the fi sh’s both humans and modern fi sh. book. time, then evolution is the change and whether or not developmental back) aortas running along the front While the recapitulation theory Haeckel was the most enthusiastic of development over time. Indeed, changes are the driving factors behind of a fi sh’s body. Aortas are the primary is today considered redundant in proponent of the theory. He claimed altered embryological structures evolution itself, one thing cannot be large arteries that carry oxygenated its Haeckelian form by most of the that each stage of an animal’s devel- would give rise to altered structures denied: certain features found in em- blood away from the heart. e dorsal scientifi c community, embryos do opment represented the adult form of in the adult, which could confer an bryos of various species are similar to and ventral aortas are connected by go through a period where their de- one of its evolutionary ancestors. He evolutionary advantage to an organ- and homologous with features found a series of arched arteries, which run velopment closely resembles their even went as far as to draw various ism. Changes in adult organisms that in the embryos or adult forms of ani- alongside the gills of the fi sh to carry evolutionary ancestry. While much diagrams of animal embryos at diff er- confer evolutionary advantages result mals in diff erent species, and there- out gas exchange with the water. In of the science of evolution remains ent stages of development to display from changes in the embryological fore share a common source. humans, a similar system forms, but shrouded in mystery, the links be- how he believed they resembled one structures, meaning that the traits A good example is the branchial is remodelled during development to tween development and evolution are another, but he greatly exaggerated that natural selection selects come arch artery system in fi sh compared form part of the circulation as it exists incontrovertible. Freelance Sidekicks Wanted. My editorial and content business is growing and I’m looking to build a roster of freelance sidekicks to pitch in on projects for various clients. My work is a mix of commercial copy writing, print publishing, long- form journalism and brand strategy.
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12 Wednesday 17th June 2015 News The Interview: Sir Peter Stothard
BRINGING
THE NEWS SOPHIE BUCK TO LIFE
SOPHIE BUCK Former editor of the Times and current editor of the TLS, Sir Peter Stothard discusses the changing world of journalism with Talia Zybutz
edit a paper which is one being to “the detriment of literature”, involvement is quickly brought up. have parents and they have children”. on the front line. of the few places left which has unsurprisingly stirred emotions. Stella Rimmington, who chaired the To keep these living creatures lively, But what of the most recent, legal still has a strong, consistent he Guardian writer John Self hit prize in 2011, “got into quite a lot of revolutions facing the press? “You can diet of argued criticism”. back at Stothard, defending the place trouble, not all of it fairly, [for] saying presumably do a PhD at Cambridge “ILike many in the industry, Sir Peter for long-form criticism in blogs, it was all just a matter of opinion”. very soon on Leveson and its implica- Stothard, current Editor of the Times whilst Amy Riley, a book blogger If the crusade against Rimmington’s tions,” he half jests. Weighing up the Literary Supplement, Editor of the herself, claimed blogs “might be scary proposed focus on readability was not public interest and the means through Times for ten years and 2012 Chair of to people like Mr. Stothard who is “fair”, however, I have little doubt that, MY ONLY HOPE IS THAT which it can be served, Stothard the Man Booker Prize, is worried that used to being a controlling party in at least in principle, Stothard thinks admits that “people like me[…] were newspapers are going downhill. the conversation”. it was right. If it’s “all a matter of opin- IN THIS NEW ERA DECENT, editors in a diferent age”. An age with “he ‘ive stars I like it and I’ll give An hour long chat with Stothard ion,” he tells me: “Why bother?” HONEST, IMPORTANT “a simpler sort of proportionality test”. it to my sister’ school [of cultural about literature, however, and he “My experience of the Booker”, “Young people going into journal- criticism] is running very strongly,” comes across as more easily conident he continues, “was that if you really JOURNALISM IS NOT CHILLED ism and papers now enter a climate Stothard insists, while “argued criti- than scared. his conidence in the worked at it”, even if it was “hard to that is much more regulated, much cism is being overwhelmed”. Driven, objective value of criticism is reassur- compare one book against the other more planned” and “some would say a in part, by the “pressures of the ing, especially from the man respon- because they were very diferent, you “it’s dangerous to abandon the whole little bit less spontaneous,” he tells me. internet”, speaking to the editor of one sible for propelling Hilary Mantel to could compare the strength of the ar- of the heritage”. But does journalism need sponta- of Britain’s foremost literary publica- the hall of ‘modern classics’ fame, gument for each book”. For Stothard, Heritage, perhaps; but there is no neity? “My only hope”, Stothard muses tions does not immediately inspire having led the panel of judges that “that was an important lesson, which doubt Stothard is inely tuned to the darkly, “is that in this new era, decent, conidence in the industry to which awarded her a second Man Booker I think extends beyond prizes to the changing landscape to which this honest, important journalism is not he has dedicated his life. way in which we look at books in the heritage must adapt. Recalling his chilled” – that “you’re not discour- “Every opinion on a book is not the media in general”. student days on the Cherwell – based aged from doing the things that keep same,” he persists. “We don’t think Stothard looks to ‘traditional’ then in “a terrible sort of leaky shed journalism alive”. that every opinion on if you’ve got journalism in more ways than one. at the back of the Oxford Union” – It’s not only that “crimes will not be cancer is the same, or every opinion I ask about a tradition particularly Stothard believes student journalism investigated” – “a common objection on whether your plumbing needs EVERY OPINION ON A BOOK IS prominent in the press of late – politi- “became a bit less self-indulgent in to what could come from the current repairing is the same.” NOT THE SAME cal endorsement – and Stothard is terms of ‘print my poem’.” arrangements – “but that journalism Parts of the literary community candid in his disdain. “I never liked he big change, though, was not will become very boring”. “have somehow got the idea that peo- it,” he mulls. “A lot of newspaper edi- conined to students. he invention “And that, in the longer term, could ple want as much equality as possible”. tors[…] think it’s the worse thing they of software that allowed journalists to be even more dangerous.” hey “pretend that every opinion Prize in 2012. But even with careful have to do. I mean, if you spend all the directly input and design their con- Literary or investigative, for Sir on a book, or a piece of music, or a criticism in place, can Stothard really year trying to be even handed, and in tent was a “massive, massive change”, Peter Stothard, journalism must ilm is as valuable as anybody else’s”. be sure that Bring Up the Bodies was the end, you have to say you want ‘x’ Stothard stresses, “as big, if not bigger be thoughtful, critical and above According to Stothard, however, “it the best piece of literature to come rather than ‘y’[...] I’ve heard a lot of than the current change of moving all, lively. As he quips, “It’s easy to palpably isn’t”. out of 2012? newspaper editors say that that was onto digital”. produce a dull newspaper”. And in a his steadfast insistence on the “It’s quite fashionable to knock a tradition they wish didn’t exist,” he Indeed, Stothard believes “there world where newspapers are “living primacy of traditional criticism over prizes,” he admits – and the con- smiles. have been two big newspaper revolu- creatures”, Stothard provides a stark newer forms such as the book blog, troversy surrounding the Booker “But newspapers are living crea- tions in my lifetime”, and there is no reminder that dullness could very well which he has previously lambasted as and its Chair the year prior to his tures, they have traditions and they doubt in my mind that he spent both mean death. CommentComment Wednesday 17th June 2015 13 Snap out of it and live in the moment
ith summer approaching, the quality of the photographer, the philosophy at Trinity College Dublin, personal events onto others, all the those “bloody tourists”, object of the photo is becoming in- writes that modern culture dictates while missing out on the initial ex- W arriving in loods and creasingly mundane: alongside pho- that we not only capture our experi- perience. Even though the hilarity of armed with iPhones and the desire tos of beautiful landmarks, hidden ences, but that we treat them as if the situation is clear, we often fail to to photograph Cambridge’s every within the amateur photographer’s they exist to be captured. By attempt- realise that we are in on the act. quaint brick, can become the bane of album are invariably failed attempts ing to channel and control anything Come May Week, then, newsfeeds students’ lives. Whether it’s avoiding to capture atmospheric snaps of what that seems even slightly extraordi- will ill with group shots at garden occupying centre-stage of a family are no more than dingy alleyways and nary through a lat 2D image, we lose parties and black-tie selies and I will photo or dodging selie sticks thrust city streets. the opportunity to live the moment no doubt contribute my fair share into our paths as we cycle through I’m as guilty of this as anyone else, with as much intensity as we can. of blurred, uninspired snaps to the town, the struggle is real. Selie and yet I also laugh at those who view Of course, we can both enjoy life mass. he desire to record the most culture thrives in Cambridge; not Cambridge almost entirely through and capture it with photography extravagant events of a Cambridge content to merely document every their cameras. he democratisa- but the anticipation of the upload student’s university experience is passing moment of their Cambridge tion of photography, enabling us to social media and the pressure to entirely understandable; it helps to Ian Johnston experience by camera, many feel they all to capture our experiences, is a obtain as many ‘likes’ as possible can assuage the sense of sadness which must appear in front of King’s Chapel positive development. But, as iltered postpone enjoyment; the act of pho- comes from their passing. But let’s or the Bridge of Sighs, as though do- Instagrams of Granchester and tography becomes an integral part of not allow the event to become the Let’s make sure our ing otherwise might risk the accusa- punting trips ill our newsfeeds and the experience rather than merely a photograph. It seems more important tion that they somehow hadn’t been we prepare ourselves for the bom- means of recording it and therefore to share May Week with the people memories of May there in the irst place. bardment of photos of suited May detracts from it. we are with rather than to force it Yet, for all our scoing at this ball-goers and Snapchats of whoever he American comedian Louis on Facebook friends who have, at Week are not just behaviour, as May Week approaches, Trinity got in when Taylor turned C.K. summarises the absurdity of best, a leeting interest in what we we too will capitulate to selie fever. them down, I’m left wondering how the situation perfectly. Describing do. Part of experiencing moments photographs Modern technology has led to an ex- much we difer from the tourist with parents constantly taking pictures with intensity is not to cling to them plosion in image creation and where the selie stick. It seems that we need at a children’s party, he tells them to but to let them pass, recognising the photography was once the domain of to validate our experiences with the “just look at your kids: the resolution need to replace them with new ones the artist, today’s David Baileys are approval of others, constantly seeking on the kid is unbelievable. If you just rather than constantly reliving what anyone and everyone with a smart- likes and converting personal events look it’s totally HD.” How often do has gone before. Looking back on phone. hat’s why our social media into public spectacles. we really look at videos of events we May Week, photos will no doubt help revolves almost entirely around he act of photography can missed the irst time around, having us remember it fondly, but in the photography or video: Snapchat, infringe on the experience itself. In viewed them all through a 6-inch rush to record our experiences, we Instagram and the like. But, just as a recent article to he Irish Times, screen? he obsession with “doing also need to remember to enjoy them there is no longer any questioning of Dr Robert Harris, a professor of it for the Vine” involves thrusting in the irst place. Why you just can’t say no to May Balls
was already £30 overdrawn when bumper car to your heart’s content would want to avoid paradise, or even And unless it’s terribly planned or so I bought my irst ever May Ball and eat as many ostrich burgers as an older, wiser student’s advice? wild that you get yourself deported, I ticket – not even actually to a your fancy clothes will allow (fresh- Of course, I’d like to think the ma- a city break often lasts a lot longer May Ball, but to Trinity Hall June ers: pick a fabric with some give). As jority of people here are strong-mind- than ten hours. Event. Needless to say, after I had one friend pointed out, by the time it ed enough not to spend £100+ plus And yet the May Ball still looms a lovely time enjoying the extrava- gets to the actual night, you begin to simply because their friends have told large in my Cambridge experience. gance, a lot of Sainsbury’s Basics and feel as though the whole thing were them to. It’s a curious phenomenon If ever I’m asked to think back to the a summer job were more than neces- free anyway. of he Bubble, this consensus that it’s highlight of my year, then an evening sary to plug that black hole. ine, it’s all ine, we deserve it, it’s ine, spent drinking, eating, dancing and Looking back on that 19 year old’s we can justify it, it’s ine. laughing in a fancy dress and nice decision-making process has been in- Perhaps it’s more a question of shoes takes an awful lot of beating. teresting to me recently, particularly groupthink. We’re not exactly forced My most glamourous photos from because I’m 90 per cent sure I’d make by our friends to go along with it, but the three terms of trials and tribula- the same decision now as I did then. HOW DO WE SQUARE we get caught up in all the excitement tions are the ones taken after I’ve It somehow ills me with a sense of and agree to ignore asking the cash inished getting ready. pride. And I know that this year, and SPENDING THAT MUCH MONEY machine for an advice slip for a few I love May Balls. It’s why I bought Kate Edwards next year, and so on, a vast number of WITH MAKING RENT, OR months. Who needs advice anyway, a ticket again this year. It’s why I the students here will also make the when you’ve already made the best nudged (pushed) my little sister into same decision, even though it seems BUYING FOOD? decision you possibly could? buying a dress on sale before she’d Despite the cost, an impossible sum for one night We’ve all gone through the stress (albeit a very long one). of exams together. We’ve cast longing there’s something so My friends and I have had count- But value for money (or forgetting glances at the carefree tourists won- compelling about less conversations about the possibil- the money) is only half the story, even dering around the city and dreamt of ity of having £140 worth of fun in one if it does help make the decision. It’s punting on sunny days with a bottle May Balls night and after careful calculations having the money in the irst place, of Pimm’s and a book to cause a liter- AN EVENING SPENT DRINKING, (mac ’n’ cheese portions consumed which a lot of people barely do. How ary reviewer to self-combust. We’ve + gin & tonics thrown back ferris do we square spending that much all decided that this period after ex- EATING, DANCING AND wheels ridden = not a reliable equa- money with making rent, or buying ams is for enjoyment only, whatever tion), we decided we could do it. food? It’s really hard to do, and it’s the cost, and any naysayer is strangely LAUGHING IN A FANCY DRESS When you reduce it down to £14 per certainly not a question I’ll claim to pitiful. After all, where are they even AND NICE SHOES TAKES AN hour, on the basis that you’re eating have answered in this article. going to sleep if they’re not partying a meal maybe every two hours and Peer pressure certainly plays a at their college’s ball? AWFUL LOT OF BEATING drinking all the drinks all the time, role, as does the image of Cambridge Four years and two degrees later it just about starts to seem reason- that freshers conjure up before they and I still really want to go to the able. hat’s the price of one cocktail start unpacking their bags. Any sort ball, even though I could have saved even met her ofer. It just fascinates at the Shard (another bank-breaking of interaction you have with older a lot of money and seen Deathcab me that so many people are willing exercise). It’s 50p less than the ribs at students, be it in college families, last week rather than, er, he Feeling to pay so much more than at other Bill’s. Not too troubling after all, I say with your freshers’ reps, or through (Downing ‘s headline act this year). institutions to get an end-of-year ix. to myself as I stare at the water bill. (especially drinking) societies, there Glastonbury doesn’t cost much more, hen again, as I glide between the gin May Balls are undeniably great, the is always a conversation about how if you’re going to spend that kind of tent, the dodgems and all the food genius of prepayment meaning that wonderful May Balls are. hey are money. Flights to most European at this year’s ball, the mystery will you can, queues notwithstanding, the promised land after exams. Who cities are considerably less expensive. become clear again. 14 Wednesday 17th June 2015 Comment
May Week: a relic of an elitist past littering gowns, white tie, know this, and I feel deeply grateful First, we like to make the most of stuff of the most fantastical of fairy silent discos, world famous for my fi nancial privilege. Many indi- the ‘everyone else is doing it so why tales. After seven weeks of stress G rock bands, smash hit shouldn’t I?’ excuse. If the rest of our and work, the glamour and glory of DJs, extravagant gambling tables, friends are okay with forking out £300 May Week is irresistible – and I don’t rainbows of fl owing cocktails and over the course of a week on balls, blame anyone for succumbing to it. champagne, oysters, burgers, caviar, then there’s no one to berate us for Nonetheless, I think we need to chocolate fountains, helter skelters, it, and we can all turn a blind eye on start a conversation about what this bouncy castles, infl atable observato- HOW IS IT THAT WE ARE SO our own hypocrisy together. We don’t annual week of revelry represents. It ries, night punting, balloon rides, four want to be the only ones missing out contradicts our attempts to instigate course breakfasts, fi reworks displays ABLE TO INDULGE IN DAYS OF on the fun – and anyway, it’s cold up fi nancial equality across the universi- over the rooftops of Cambridge… there on that moral high ground. No ty by virtue of the fact that some can It’s a familiar scene, one many of LAVISH OPULENCE AGAINST one likes a killjoy. aff ord to experience this highlight of us have experienced fi rst-hand. Even WHICH OUR MORALS USUALLY Second, there’s an element of Cambridge life while others can’t. the most modest May Balls and June constructed resignation. We tell our- When Guardian writers label Events provide unlimited alcohol, de- PROTEST SO FEROCIOUSLY? selves that missing out on all the fun Cambridge an elitist and outmoded licious food and extravagant perform- will only be skin off our own noses institution, our protests are un- ances. And it’s a glorious scene, one and won’t make any diff erence in dermined by our ready acceptance which belongs in a world of revising the grand scheme of things, just like of May Week. And when we tell on the backs in golden sunshine and viduals across the university feel the boycotting Primark won’t mean that prospective students from less privi- getting fi rsts in all of your exams – same. We support campaigns against Indonesian seamstresses will be given leged backgrounds that Cambridge the world in which the glossy mirage raising tuition fees, we sign petitions proper pay, or how becoming a veg- is a place where everyone feels equal of a perfect Cambridge is the reality. to force colleges to acknowledge that etarian won’t bring down the corrupt and where we’re judged by the size In that world, students don’t need not all students are able to support cattle industry. If we don’t buy that of our brains rather than the size of bursaries which are scraped together themselves, we try our utmost to con- ticket, someone else will, so we might our bank accounts, we’re lying. ere in the annual telephone campaigns, tradict the ‘Guardian’ perception of as well just partake. Besides, if we are times when the gulf of wealth be- the university counselling service is us Cambridge students as privileged don’t spend the money now we’ll only Noa Lessof Gendler well-funded with plenty of staff to brats with more money than we know spend it on booze and food over the support the eighteen thousand-strong what to do with. summer instead. ere are plenty of Can we really excuse student body, and every employee is Unfortunately, for the fi fty-second music festivals we could be attending, paid the living wage. week of the year, that is precisely and the food and drink isn’t even free THE GLAMOUR AND GLORY OF ourselves for the sheer For fi fty-one weeks of the year, what we are. ere is no plausible there. What diff erence does it make? I’m well aware that this version of excuse for the astonishing displays of Most of all, we let ourselves get MAY WEEK IS IRRESISTIBLE – decadence of May Cambridge simply doesn’t exist. I wealth that are the Cambridge May away with it because May Week is so read testimonials revealing students’ Balls. ey exist out of their time, fun. For those of us with the cash to AND I DON’T BLAME ANYONE Week? experiences of having to switch contradictorily canonical, remnants spare, there’s simply no better oppor- rooms halfway through the year of a time when Cambridge really was tunity to let loose and take advantage FOR SUCCUMBING TO IT. because their fi nances take a turn for just for the rich, and when social elit- of the opportunities at our fi ngertips. the worse; I watch friends staying in ism was the norm. In an age when we I like moonlight punting in my Ted for weeks on end because they can’t presumably know how to check our Baker; I like drinking champagne comes apparent in ways that are seen aff ord a night out; I hear rumours privilege and class is recognised as a with friends; I love oysters (which, in few other places. While May Balls that the college subcontracts our bed- construct to be dismantled, how is it like most of the rest of the world, are the norm here, equality simply is ders so they can cheat the living wage that we are so able to numb the guilt I don’t eat very often). Given the not. pledge and pay less than £7.65 an and indulge in days of lavish opulence chance, who wouldn’t don their fi nest I’ve still got tickets for Corpus hour to clean our mountains of mess. against which our morals usually gladrags and dance until dawn on the and King’s Aff air, though. And I hate For fi fty-one weeks of the year I protest so ferociously? lawns of a castle? May Balls are the myself for it. Comment Wednesday 17th June 2015 15 e next revolution for women
aying the bills for changing What is worse, 45 years after the ever before. Where Britain was fi nally seeing in elections are options. the world begins today.” UK government passed the Equal once in black and white, now it’s in Specifi cally, new options. “P With these words, declared Pay Act, the International Labour Technicolor and 3D and sometimes In her speech at the Women’s by comedian and broadcaster Sandi Organisation has reported that this the seat in front sprays water at you. Equality Party fundraiser, Mayer Toksvig, and met by raucous cheering gap has barely changed in 20 years, We can talk about polls and confessed, somewhat sheepishly, and applause, the UK’s newest politi- and is set to continue for another 70. electoral reform and the demise of to having taken inspiration from a cal force was launched. It is important because there are seemingly unlikely source as she went Last week, I was among the 400 more men in the House of Commons about setting up her party: UKIP. women (and a smattering of men) today than there have been women is is probably not as unlikely who descended on Conway Hall in ever elected to Parliament. Our most as it may at fi rst seem. Many people central London for the inaugural fun- recently elected parliament proudly in this country will take issue with draiser of the fresh-faced Women’s stated that it has the largest number its policies, attitudes and people, Equality Party. of women MPs in history (191), but IT APPEARS AS THOUGH but there is no denying that UKIP e venue was appropriate: this number still remains far below PEOPLE, FED UP WITH THE has made an impact on the political Conway Hall is known as the home the number of men (459). Before scene. It may now only have one MP, of freethought in London, and above it pats itself on the back, perhaps STATUS QUO, ARE FINALLY but this is on the basis of almost four the stage reads the words, “To thine parliament would do well to look at million votes. e party has spoken, own self be true”. Fitting for a party the work on equality that it still needs STARTING TO TAKE BACK SOME people have listened, and, more than looking to shake up the political to do. CONTROL AND MAKE CHANGE that, they have taken action. landscape in a way never seen before It is important because, according What UKIP has managed to recog- Millie Brierley in the UK. to offi cial government statistics, one HAPPEN. nise – where Labour and the Tories in fi ve British women has experi- have not – is that the British elector- enced some form of sexual violence ate is not just ready for change – it’s since the age of 16, and up to three three-party politics (and we have), itching for it. e Green Party has e Women’s million women experience violence but what last month’s results really also recognised this, as have the SNP, Equality Party is both every year in the UK. showed us, more than anything, is Plaid Cymru, and now the Women’s WHERE BRITAIN WAS ONCE IN But the Women’s Equality Party that things are changing. at this Equality Party. a symptom of and a is also important because of what it age-old democratic system, with its I left Conway Hall last week, on BLACK AND WHITE, NOW IT’S says about British politics today. is gilded chambers, Queen’s Speeches refl ection, optimistic. I cannot claim cure for our politics IN TECHNICOLOR AND 3D time around, smaller parties have and morning prayers, is being forced that the Women’s Equality Party taken our political system by storm: into revolution, possibly against its holds all the answers, and I don’t Plaid Cymru was invited to take to will, but certainly not before time. imagine its leaders do either. But I the stage in the leaders’ debates, the And the Women’s Equality Party am energised about what it all means Toksvig founded the Women’s SNP now holds almost every seat in has a great opportunity to take this – both on a policy level, and in the Equality Party in March of this year, Scotland, and UKIP and the Greens revolution further. Since last month’s wider context of British politics. It with author and journalist Catherine received over fi ve million votes be- general election, there has been a appears as though people, fed up Mayer. Since then, it has opened tween them. great deal of disappointment, with with the status quo, are fi nally start- more than 40 branches across the For a long time, this country 63 per cent of voters now governed ing to take back some control and country, and will hold its fi rst policy simply swung between Labour and by a party they did not cross a box make change happen. launch in September. Its leaders have the Conservatives (with the Liberal for. Nevertheless, I cannot help but We thought the revolution would big plans for British politics. Democrats making a featured ap- think that this is a truly exciting time come on the 7th May, and we were is party is important. It is im- pearance every now and then), and for British politics. After decades of disappointed when we thought it portant because women in the UK is now faced with a range of political staleness, and changeovers which hadn’t. Now we’re seeing that it’s only still earn 81p to every male pound. options that is more colourful than change very little at all, what we are just begun.
e end result: Exams aren’t everything By virtue of being a Cambridge success. With May Week fi nally in one three hour exam. Exams student, the odds are favourable here, it seems the perfect time to test a lot of things - time manage- that you have always been pretty evaluate how the year has gone. It’s ment, memory, the ability to work good at exams. With Cambridge important, however, to resist the under pressure, and whether you’ve dishing out some of the most chal- temptation to use exam results as a listened to the examiner correctly to lenging off ers in the country, it’s way of doing so. know which papers are supposed to entirely possible that you spent the Coming to Cambridge in October be treasury-tagged to which. majority of your time at sixth form was a pretty daunting prospect. It’s But even academically speaking chained to your desk, constantly a time old saying that university is there are a lot of things that can’t be repeating to yourself that mito- the place where you truly fi nd your- determined by exams. Exams don’t chondria are the powerhouse of the self and fi nally learn what it means necessarily measure your intellec- cell. Even if you weren’t a biology to be an adult, and there’s a reason tual interest, or the fact that despite student, you might have other such for this - it’s very accurate. the complaining and the moan- little-known facts up your sleeve. Within weeks I learned that I ing yaks posted to Facebook and So when results day came around needed to eat fresh fruit and veg- Twitter after a 6 hour library stint, and you found you’d made your etables in order to feel vaguely alive, deep down you love your subject potentially ridiculous off er, you that the ever-growing pile of laun- and what you do. Otherwise why (deservedly) congratulated yourself. dry in the corner of my room wasn’t would you be here at all? Your entire family told you how going to do itself, and that the essay ere are so many other ways to proud they were of you, how suc- I produced on two hours’ sleep after determine how far you’ve come this cessful you are. You got good exam a night spent in Cindie’s probably year other than your grade. Perhaps results, and now you’re off to one of wasn’t going to be my best work. you’ve met a really great group of the best universities in the world. Everyone thinks they know how to friends, maybe you’ve discovered Your exam results were not only a survive living by themselves, but the sporting, acting, debating or writing source of pride, but the key to your truth is you never really learn until talent you never knew you had, or future. you’ve been thrown in at the deep you might simply have won your Consistently succeeding aca- end and forced to go it alone. battle against the laundry pile be- demically is a common scenario for So of course, there are skills that fore your mum came to visit. almost all Cambridge students, so you have to learn at university that e sooner we realise that our it’s easy to see how we’ve devel- cannot be measured by your class class marks and exam results do oped the mindset that doing well in mark. But what about your degree? very little in defi ning our worth and exams equals success. us, your It is, after all, the reason you’re our intelligence, the easier it will be sense of self-worth often derives here in the fi rst place (although it to broaden our idea of what it is to from the attainment of success. If may not always feel that way). Your be successful. In such a competitive you’re somebody to whom academic grades seem like an obvious fi rst academic environment, this is easier achievement comes fairly naturally, port of call in measuring how much said than done. But rather than chances are you’ve consistently you’ve achieved in this respect. But focusing on what number you have been defi ned by your series of A*s at even then, they don’t, and can’t, tell on a piece of paper at the end of the GCSE and A-Level. the whole story. year, think about the bigger picture: As a result, it becomes all too e truth is, it’s pretty diffi cult to yes, exams are important, but be- Millie Paine easy to use academic achievement demonstrate a whole three terms’ ing a well-rounded and developed as a way of measuring your own worth of learning and development person is far more so. 16 Wednesday 17th June 2015 Comment
he value in the
‘unemployable’ GEORGIA TURNER Alex Matthews
he Telegraph recently ran a piece by its education editor GEORGIA TURNER T who, lapping up the words of “lead” HSBC lawyer Sandie Okoro, advised students to spend their gap years working their way up the greasy pole at a sports shop or a supermar- ket rather than building an orphanage in China. he reasoning is lawless, as long as you keep Okoro’s target irmly in the crosshairs and forget about everything the scope is blocking out. Working at JD Sports shows you have initiative and can interact with the public (it’s not me making this up, promise), but going of on a gap year only serves to prove that your Daddy is rich. If you want to be hired by Ms Okoro’s HSBC mentoring scheme, or another big bank or irm (and who doesn’t…), you need to show something diferent on your CV. And you are far more likely to ind that in your local supermarket than you are on another continent. his way you also avoid showing that you earned something with the help of your par- ents, because nobody in the city ever earned their great jobs through family connections either… I’m going to admit it. I don’t par- ticularly agree with the Telegraph’s education editor or Okoro. But it’s not simply because I think they aren’t looking at the whole picture. It’s be- cause they’re shooting entirely wide of the mark. We shouldn’t be shrinking anything and everything down to ‘employable’ skills. If these are the only things that people target, we don’t actually turn out to be particularly employable he electorate is not always right people. If you spend your formative years ‘dealing with customers’ and ‘hitting targets,’ you don’t necessar- ince the election, there’s been electoral contest, however, we must to the bitter end the fundamental ily become better at interacting with a spate of opinion pieces com- never be afraid to speak out against principles on which they stand. his customers. Believe me. I heard my S plaining about the intolerance ‘the will of the people’ when we think was something that the Labour party boyfriend, who has worked since to which Tory-voters have been treat- it’s radically wrong—like the post- in 2015 singularly failed to realise. school, talking on the radio about ed, the foibles of the ‘loony left’, and election protestors in London did, for Not exactly a ‘dictator of the electoral his company’s ‘halo product’ (not the the like. better or worse. It is not ‘anti-dem- battleield’, Ed Miliband. Xbox game), and it nearly killed me. In many cases the hypocrisy of ocratic’ to realise that the majority Of course we don’t need to insult Instead, talking normally and with a this position is obvious: many who believing something to be right does people at every turn we get. But the little cultural understanding can go a complain about ‘political correctness’ not make it so. It is common sense. British public are not toddlers who long way. and the proliferation of safe spaces his is because democracy doesn’t will get frightened and hide when an his kind of career-focussed think- now appear to want to turn the entire just mean carrying the triumphant irrelevant student activist calls Tories ing ends up feeding into everything, British political arena into a safe views of the electors into policy: it cunts or a Labour politician uses a from degree choices, to societies we space for them. he more fundamen- means fundamentally moulding those scary word like ‘socialism’. join, and eventually how much time tal problem, however, is that such views. Politics may be the art of the If it was the much-feted ‘Shy Tory we spend being conned into creat- articles almost invariably betray a compromise, but at a more basic level factor’ that swung the election, we ing an ‘expert’ proile for LinkedIn. distorted and naïve view of politics. it is also a struggle to deine the truth. would expect live interviews (such as As if LinkedIn is anything more than his view is best represented by his means that politically active phone polls) to have yielded results a piss-poor social media platform the idea that the electorate can- people must be prepared to accept that were even more divergent than for posting the top-ten platitudes of not be wrong. Of course, we know that most people might be wrong— the anonymised online polls. Yet employability over and over again. empirically that the British public and to attempt to make them right. it was—repeatedly—phone polls ‘Number two: Be creative.’ Sure, I’ll are outright wrong on many impor- If politicians and activists are not that predicted the result, often with give creativity a go once you think of Vincent Garton tant issues—not least because of the shaping those views, other people, signiicant accuracy, and were sup- something else to write. distorted information presented us less democratically responsible, pressed by pollsters worried about he fact is, everything we do in our by our media. And yes, it is certainly already are. We should not be com- contradicting the mainstream narra- lives counts for something, and eve- true, as some have pointed out in plaining about our political oppo- tive. In Labour safe seats, surely the rything can be spun into a desirable Of course people can response to this, that the election did nents being abrasive and irascible. areas where voters would be most skill if necessary. Living your life for criticise the election not show a quantitative majority of It’s a sign of the honesty that politics scared of being ‘outed’ as Tories, your CV is so clearly the wrong way voters behind the Conservatives. Yet as a ight for the truth demands— Labour gained votes. Despite their round. Live your life how you want to result, even if one there wasn’t even a majority behind yes, even if that honesty is calling calamitous performance north of the live it. Seek out fun experiences and the Labour party in 1945. he elec- Tories (or anyone else) rude names. border, indeed, Labour increased its enjoy them to the fullest. hink about party won torate did speak. he problem with hrowing up our hands and aban- share of the vote overall. your CV later. Life’s too short. the notion of electoral infallibility is doning our views in the light of We won’t know for sure until the After all, I’ve learned a vast array more fundamental: we are expected electoral defeat is not just intellectual polling agencies have conducted their of useful skills even at university that to accept that this supericially cowardice, it is also negligent. post-mortems, but it’s worth being wouldn’t make it onto my CV, and plausible idea is the basic principle his is what focus-group politics sceptial of the common wisdom. the value of which employers won’t underlying Western democracy. In and the relentless drive to a softly In the 1920s, the archconserva- immediately recognise. For example, fact it is anything but. spoken centre fail to accomplish. tive Carl Schmitt posited that any I congratulate myself wholehearted Successful liberal democracies have Instead of letting the vanguard of genuine political theory must sup- every time I win the struggle of log- never shied from establishing funda- twee banality turn politics at the pose that humans are evil. His idea ging onto CamSiS, but Ms Okoro mental values beyond everyday poli- highest level into a dull and endless was that politics is more complicated might not necessarily see that as tics. he death penalty, for instance, horizon of sycophancy, we should than just trusting the inherent knowl- HSBC material. Which is a shame, is gone for good in Britain despite the be happy when at least some of our edge of the people. It’s a shame that because it’s a wonderful example of fact that there’s never been a lasting politicians are less intellectually the modern right has lost sight of ‘persistence.’ majority for its abolition. compromising, less ‘tolerant’ of their the austere, corrective realism that Even when policy is decided by opposition, more willing to defend Schmitt, for all his laws, represented. JOHANNES HJORTH
Vulture
CULTURE ■ FEATURES ■ FASHION ■ THEATRE ■ REVIEWS Out Now! THE MAYS - TWENTY THREE Published by Varsity and featuring the best new writing from the students of Cambridge University and Oxford University. Guest edited by Alison Turnbull & Quentin Blake
“I do not think that when I was an undergraduate I was capable of writing any short story that would have been worthy of inclusion in this book. Decadent Playful Resplendent Reading some of these stories for a second time, I am not sure that I am capable now.” Stephen Fry 1994. For all your “Shut out the endless babble of modern life for a few minutes. & Savour. & Enjoy. I did” Jarvis Cocker 2011. May Ball needs! “I found the pieces in turn confounding, frustrating, exciting and inspiring.” Nick Cave 2002.
Corsets Evening gloves Vintage wear “Maybe in a few years, this lot will have me out of a job” Zadie Smith 2001.
Jewellery & accessories “I admire all these poems for some quality or other.” Ted Hughes 1995. Bespoke costume & couture services “Sharp, stylish, sassy: this is a collection of unfaltering high quality. Make a note of the names of these new writers—and remember that [email protected] you saw them here first.” Robert Macfarlane 2005.
www.quivercompany.co.uk “This anthology reminds its readers of the undiminishing accomplishment, resourcefulness 36, Newnham Road, Cambridge CB3 9EY and aethetic potential of new student writing.” Ian Patterson 2008. 01223 357705 £10 - available online at: www.mays.varsity.co.uk/purchase/ Also on sale in many good book stores. Culture Vulture Wednesday 17th June 2015 19 ROBERT MACFARLANE The prize-winning nature and travel writer and fellow of Emmanuel College discusses his new book with Katherine Dunbar
obert Macfarlane’s me that the others were actually sensitivity to nature about that as well. is immediately appar- “It’s very easy to become fl u- ent as we start our CHRIS BOLAND ent in your own vernacular,” he interview walking answers when I ask why he feels throughR Emmanuel’s gardens. the need for such a dramatic He delights in showing me the shift. “When you change terrain trees, making sure to stop off you have to change language at the Japanese Plane. But the as well.” Looking back over his most striking stop on our tour writing, Macfarlane adds that is tucked away just behind the he has begun to “notice patterns imposing plant – the Victorian in retrospect”; in his work there swimming pool. Macfarlane are “strange forms of rhythm and smiles and wexplains that in the recurrence.” Some of the objec- summer this is a place where tives of Underland are not so new “a kind of order starts to break after all; he still wants to conduct down”, how any hierarchy be- a “retrieval and salvage of a sort of tween the years seems to disap- semi-buried language.” pear as they share a sunny day “Darkness is a weird experi- spent on the poolside. It is clear ence,” he adds after a pause, that Macfarlane’s interest in the “claustrophobia has an amaz- outdoors extends beyond mere ing, vicarious, aff ective power description, encompassing how that touches people even more human beings interact with the than vertigo”. Underneath cities natural, how we respond to the is “where we dispose of things, outside and the words we use to bodies, memories, nuclear waste.” describe it. Yet it is also a place where we Entering his offi ce, he warns “retrieve precious things”, where me it is a room occupied by “a Orpheus goes, where people make parody of an English fellow” dangerous journeys to fi nd lost and the space does not disap- things, “minerals, precious metals, point. Piled all over the fl oor are language, the dead.” e meta- clusters of books and papers, phoric resonance of the under- including replies to his lat- world is huge. He wants to fi nd est work, Landmarks, a book out how to listen to it and part of containing glossaries of local words for nature him what his vision is, what his ideal language places. We not only make sense of the world this process has involved “literally making sound which are starting to fall out of use. He has would look like; “It seems to me uncontroversial through language, but it is one of the only ways recordings”. already received responses from people all over that we should want a rich and diverse language we’re able to share that sense. Macfarlane is also keen to tell me that he has the country with more words they want to see for nature” he responds. He wants to “fi nd and Macfarlane is currently working on another also begun exploring new media. He is “fi nding preserved. “People are interested in having a gather and aggregate these words”, to “catch and project, Underland, a book he says will take him [his] way into working with fi lm”, having recently local language for specifi c places and what those release” them into the imagination. about seven or eight years to write. It is distinct- adapted the book Holloway into a short fi lm that specifi c places mean,” he explains, adding that he Macfarlane fi rst became interested in this ly diff erent from his other works, but neverthe- will appear on Vimeo. “I’m just about to start will collate their suggestions in a new glossary in kind of language growing up “at the end of less one that follows a general “trajectory”, from work on the script of screenplays for a big fea- the paperback edition. a country lane in Nottinghamshire” nam- mountaintops to underneath the earth. ture length documentary about oil and ice and His campaign to preserve language for the ing Hopkins, Hughes, Heany, Dillon omas “It’s a book about darkness where the others polar bears and climate change”. He is trying not natural landscape has inspired “the kind of and the Gawain-poet as infl uences. When he have been about light,” he says, “a book about to use the words ‘climate change’ in the entire response I couldn’t have predicted”; nursery began writing in 2002 he was seeking the kind enclosures where the others have been about 90 minutes. Macfarlane has spent his career schools have started running programs get- of language that could “pierce rotten diction”, freedom predominantly, and it’s a book about exploring the “communal mark making that we ting children to use words for nature that have something “precise but hefty.” “12 years on,” this cities. I’ve spent 15 years coming closer and do as a species,” and as readers it is worth giving started falling out of use. Howver, he laments has turned into “a larger desire to capture that closer to cities – coming down from mountain thought to the way we interact with nature: the the example set by the Oxford Junior Dictionary, language”. Losing a language for certain things tops to sort of city fringes which is where I’ve stories we tell, the words we use, the responses which recently removed words such as butter- and places means that we start to lose one of ended up.” He also labels it a book about death we have and the ways we intend to look after cup, dandelion and willow from its pages. I ask the most important ways we interact with those and politics. He pauses, and then, laughing, tells and preserve the world around us.
Hidden Gems: What to watch this summer Orlando The station Agent Goodbye, First Earth Love
“Shot in the Soviet Union in 1930, it ‘Same person. No difference at all. Just dramatises the arrival of new machin- a different sex.’ An adaptation of Woolf’s “It’s a film about a dwarf who tries and ery and collective farms to a Ukrainian novel, Orlando follows the life of a boy fails to live as a modern hermit in an village and the class conflicts that soon who is born into Elizabethan England and abandoned train depot. It received rave arise. Earth is such an extraordinary lives through 400 years of human history, reviews & awards at Sundance in 2003, mysteriously transforming into a woman “First love is such a universal experience visual experience, all the more remark- but somehow failed to pick up much able given its origins in a time when at age 30. It’s a must for anyone inter- media traction. I find myself enjoying the that it is hard to imagine a novel way of ested in gender issues. Visually luscious, portraying it in film. Hansen-Løve brilliantly Soviet cultural freedoms were being characters company even more, particu- vigorously suppressed.” relishing the wealth and variety of historic larly Bobby Cannavale, who plays a love- succeeds by infusing her creative choices detail without feeling tokenistic.” able but empty-headed goof.” with a subtle blend of the essence of first Millie Foy love: simplicity, tenderness and emotional Jacob Osborne Mike Osborne depth.” Sarah Anne Aarup 20 Wednesday 17th June 2015 Vulture Culture Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find em
Being an overly keen Beasts, we can already tell that Harry Potter fan I’ve Rowling will jam-pack the
always wondered what PHOEBE STONE series with little treats that will my boggart would be. let us return to Harry richer I’m not bothered by and wiser. ‘Annotated’ by Ron, heights, spiders are too Harry and Hermione, as any of easy to kill to be scared our Muggle textbooks would of and I’m normally be, we get such gems as Newt too drunk to have ago- Scamander’s ‘rumours that a raphobia in Cindies. colony of Acromantula has Yet upon the confi r- been established in Scotland mation that Eddie are unconfi rmed’, scribbled out Redmayne has bagged and corrected to ‘confi rmed by the role of Newt Harry Potter and Ron Weasley’. Scamander, I have I’d be surprised if similar had a revelation; the in-jokes don’t make it into prospect of Fantastic Rowling’s script; a treat for any Beasts of Where to Potter nut. Find em absolutely Watching the magical terrifi es me. world in a new light shouldn’t is is partly to do Varsity Screen Editor Will Roberts & Julia Craggs debate Cantab alum Eddie Redmayne’s starring role in make Moaning Myrtles of us with my sheer love for the forthcoming Harry Potter spin off all. Eddie Redmayne’s Oscar- Harry Potter. As a child winning performance in e I was pretty weird; I eory of Everything sets essentially lived in a world of fantasy and latest level of Pottermore as long you know People whining about J.K Rowling’s new fi lm him comfortably alongside the acting royalty imagination, and the world of magic was one the medical properties of a bezour. However, trilogy, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find from Alan Rickman to Maggie Smith that I would visit regularly. If I felt alone or weird, unless you live far from civilisation, these fi lms em, frankly need to calm down. e fi rst propped up the last eight fi lms. With Rowling Hogwarts was a place that made complete will hunt you down. instalment is due to come out in November as script-writer, she’ll have more control over sense. And the thought of anyone meddling Yet what annoys me most about Fantastic 2016, and already the Pottersphere is reach- the outcome of the fi lm than even in the Potter with the world that as a child meant so much Beasts is not necessarily my personal gripes ing peak hysteria. Yet to some of those who series. Redmayne too has a deep respect for to me makes me both sad and angry. with it, but rather what it represents. e have grown up with Harry, and who see it as a her script, as he said to the Evening Standard, ere is also a general sense of stupefac- other day I watched Alfonso Cuarón’s Gravity; cornerstone of their childhood, the new fi lms “J.K. Rowling’s a genius, I am so thrilled to be tion as to why these fi lms are being made. a huge, expensive blockbuster with bold are as unwanted as a ghoul in the attic. a part of it…I’ve always loved that world and I Although all fans upon fi nishing the fi nal page ideas and most importantly with no intention One of their key worries is that this is a feel thrilled to be invited into it.” of the last book or seeing the fi nal shot of the whatsoever of milking its potential success for ‘sell-out’ move in a bid to squeeze every last I, for one, am also ‘thrilled’, especially to see last fi lm had a yearning for it to last forever, future expansion. However it saddens me to Galleon, Sickle and Knut from the Harry a magical world of ‘Magizoology’ – if only to there is a general admittance that an end to say that these types of fi lms are a dying breed; Potter universe. But I believe J.K. Rowling has better understand Hagrid’s love of magical the series was necessary and that Rowling hardly any original stories are turned into proved her integrity from the fi rst fi lm. For creatures when I return to Harry. As for Newt couldn’t have given us a more poignant and event fi lms anymore because studios are sim- example she banished Steven Spielberg for his Scamander, the main character in Fantastic perfect conclusion. ply afraid of doing something new and innova- attempts to have an Americanised Harry. It’s Beasts and Where to Find em – a character So why are Warner Bros. trying to convince tive. And you’d have to be the least cynical highly doubtful that Rowling would sell out her that, according to Harry Potter Wiki, began us that we want more? We don’t! It’s not like person in the world not to see that this trilogy prized franchise, and with regular Potter direc- life dismembering Horklumps in his bedroom Star Wars or the Alien when an extension to is just another corporate venture. What’s wor- tor David Yates on board, it’s guaranteed to and ended up on a chocolate frog card – is, the franchise was either planned or logical. rying is that this money over quality mentality be so much more than just a one-dimensional in terms of protagonist-ability, second only to e fact is that Warner Bros. is attempting to is spiralling out of control. Pixar are bringing Potter spin-off . one that defeated Voldemort as a baby and was expand a universe that has run its course. out more mediocre sequels than ever before. e fi lm will be set in New York, and will saved from the wreckage by a half-giant on a Admittedly this isn’t the fi rst expansion of ere are even plans for Hunger Games spin- pre-date Harry by 70 years, so we’ll be able fl ying motorbike. Harry Potter outside the books and the fi lms, off s which would frankly be insane. to enjoy the familiar world of hippogriff s and Let’s be sirius. Any of these arguments – all of which I’ve kind of enjoyed. e Tales So while I admit that my aversion to these house-elves in a brand new way, without wor- that Rowling has sold out; that the new trilogy of Beedle the Bard was quirky and interest- fi lms is largely down to personal reasons, they rying that the perfect end to the Potter series will despoil the memories of our childhood ing, Pottermore was great fun up until I got also represent something a whole lot big- will be compromised. In fact, this new trilogy favourites; that she’s milking the franchise – sorted into Huffl epuff (twice!) and the original ger. Because Fantastic Beasts and Where to will provide us with the kind of background are ridikkulus. And if it doesn’t get at least a 9 Fantastic Beasts was a perfect companion for Find em doesn’t just terrify me for selfi sh knowledge of the magical world henceforth ¾ on IMDb, I’ll eat my sorting hat. any Potter geek. e diff erence with these is reasons, it’s also another nail in the coffi n of only available inside Rowling’s brain. Julia Craggs that they were possible to ignore; no one is originality. Just from a glance at the book of Fantastic going to call you out on not completing the Will Roberts Zadie Smith At Pembroke
“Why are you all so quiet? Is that lectures?” Indeed, Smith seems to consider her move to New York an escape, not only from the attention she Zadie Smith casts a rare glance out into the audience, her sardonic edge cutting through the received at the hands of the British press, but from the mentality she was surrounded by and inter- heady cocktail of post-exam languor and the body odour of early summer which fi lls the Judith E nalised during her time at Cambridge. She talks of the constant need to please, to seek approval from Wilson drama studio. A packed audience laughs nervously, the room having reached full capacity a peers and supervisors, exacerbated by the inferiority she felt as a student coming from a less-than- full forty minutes before in anticipation of Smith, prize-winning author of ‘White Teeth’ and King’s privileged background. Her ambivalence is summed up when asked if she is pleased to be back in College alumnus. Cambridge, she casts another of those rare penetrating, knowing looks out to the audience, murmur- In the best kind of talks and interviews put on in Cambridge, themes seem to inevitably emerge, ing dryly that ‘the weather’s nice’. and thankfully Smith’s visit to the Faculty of English on the 2nd June falls into this category, an in- Smith’s comments on the need she felt to write, talk and argue like a man in her time at Cambridge terview that draws on her time as a student at Cambridge in the 1990s, her experience of North recall the recent controversy at Cambridge concerning the lack of fi rsts achieved by female London as a child and of New York as an adult. students in essay-writing subjects at Cambridge, particularly in the Faculty of History. As In the moments before Smith enters the room one especially nervous student in the scripts are marked blind, it was suggested that female students needed to write with great- second row, after detailing the travails of removing a particularly potent mix of cava er aggression, conviction and fl owery language. It seems that in this respect at least little and glitter from one’s hair, earnestly diagnoses himself with ‘White Man’s Complex’: has changed since Smith’s time at the university. And she has damning criticism too for the compulsion to ‘shut up and listen’. His anxiety might refl ect the composition of Cambridge’s current accessibility, pointing out that were she 18 today she simply would the audience, which although in typical Cambridge fashion lacks substantial repre- not have applied, on fi nancial grounds. She does, however, speak positively about the sentation of BME students, is predominantly female. ere is also the expectation advantages a Cambridge education brought her, suggesting that in order to break the that the arrival of Smith, whose books often concern the complications gender and rules, you need to learn them fi rst. ethnicity bring to bear on our personal relationships, will precipitate debate on these In terms of Smith’s writing, it seems too that she is now breaking the rules she once so often highly contested issues. set for herself. She is no longer so interested in the voice of the disinterested author, and But beginning the interview with a reading of her new short story, ‘Escape from not so scared any more of being seen as an ‘angry writer’. In a way, maybe it is helpful that New York’, serves to remind the audience that Smith is fi rst and foremost not an emblem the conversation surrounding Smith is always so haunted by the spectre of ‘White Teeth’, or a symbol for any particular cause or opinion, but a writer. e story, inspired by the as it marks the way in which her writing has changed, less concerned with aphorisms and urban myth of the ‘escape’ allegedly undertaken by Michael Jackson, Marlon Brando and sweeping pronouncements on human nature, more interested in refl ecting the extraor- Elizabeth Taylor after planes hit the twin towers on 11th September 2001, also serves as dinarily complex emotional lives of normal human beings. ‘As you get older,’ an opportunity for Smith to showcase her unexpectedly hilarious Michael Jackson she explains, ‘you become so less confi dent in summing up the entirety impression. Cynics might suggest that Smith’s subject matter demonstrates of a person in a couple of sentences.’ As students fl ock out at the end of her attachment to the early Noughties, the era of her most groundbreak- the talk, rising up from the basement of the Faculty to an early June ing success with the wild acclaim ‘White Teeth’ was met with upon its evening, the embrace of uncertainty, in life and in writing, seems to publication in 2000. But throughout the interview one senses very much have been the embrace of uncertainty. It doesn’t escape one earnest Smith’s ambivalence towards the success of the book, which after de- Varsity reviewer that this is the exact kind of aphorism Zadie Smith termined questioning from members of the audience she claims not would probably hate.
to have read since she sent it off to the publishers. WOLF GANG Emily Page Looking for a career with a diference? We can help you achieve your potential At SWAT UK we recruit for a number of prestigious irms of Chartered Accountants based in London. We’re always looking for new people and we accept applications all year round.
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Registered Oice: Tor View House, 3 Darklake View, Estover, Plymouth, Devon, PL6 7TL Accountancy Recruitment Registered No. 3041771. England and Wales 22 Wednesday 17th June 2015 Features May Wek on a Shoetring Elie Olcot and Tom Wheldon
ing joy s ing ince Amazon and buy that unneeded cofee pecolator. in Water”, for the princely sum of 20p. Resist the he scene of 100s of medics br ... s- n he only extravagances are “Cigarettes and Pro thought that the two saddest words in the English lan- stampeding out of their exam, ic ev s e Plus”, to misquote Oasis. guage are “Sainsbury’s Basics”; the combination of po- released from the iron cage a r B ’s But checking the bank account balance af- tatoes in water here epitomises eiciency. Combining of rationality is strangely y r ter the May ball tickets have degraded your caloriic starchiness and that perennial necessity, reminiscent of the hectic u annual crossing made b savings is never a pleasant experience. hydration, potatoes in water symbolise everything that n by bufalos across the i a So how to survive May Week on a shoe- modern capitalist society is about. All the buzzwords Serengeti River. Once S string budget is of primary concern. of the corporate world epitomising the cultural logic these captive animals are Strolling down the aisles of Sainsbury's of late capitalism have deep meaning in relation to set free, their fellow kin and Aldi, the student shopper is able to the unbelievable eiciency of “Potatoes and Water” come join in celebration by dancing around the come across some surprising deals. for 20p. SYNERGY- DYNAMISM- EFFICIENCY - released students and pour- Forget the Pimms and Hendrick’s gin. A POTATOES - WATER. ing “champagne” down their girl can only dream of such luxuries. he cav- To make the process even more eicient you could necks. Having smelly cheap ernous pits of Cindies and Life demands some- incorporate the two and have a Cocopotato predrinks cava soaking your clothes isn’t, as thing of more reliably intoxicating substance. session. many would assume, very pleasant. Aldi’s inest “Cocobay White Rum and Coconut”, or he authors of this Nevertheless a talismanic symbol of free- “Cocobae” as it is preferably known, promises such de- article apologize to dom it brings joy to the mind of the emancipated students, topped of by the rapidly accelerating sense of Dionysian joy lights. Indeed, one complimentary online shopper by any reader who as their lightweight bloodstreams have alcohol pumped into the name “bellinigirl57” noted “his tastes and smells was expecting them. just like Malibu for less than half the price!”. Bell, your to ind useful Euphorically walking down King’s Parade, feeling sense of enthusiasm for a product informa- on top of the world, bottle of cava in each hand, such gives me faith. Not that I tion about Who nee extravagance, despite being frowned upon by the Daily ds H really need it at £4.79. how to Mail, is well-deserved. It is this level of extravagance, en What to eat? realistically dr in however, that many of us cannot aford to sustain. k Sainsbury’s aisles survive on a D Some have a tendency to avoid thinking about w are illed with show string O h E problems before they are forced to confront e suitably cheap budget. We S ? n N H ’ them. Such is the case with many Cambridge y delicacies which did our best. T U o T H students who have buried their heads in books u will not cause H ?
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y of Sainsbury’s exam term, right? No excessive purchasing of ? VKs, no drunken rogue decisions to scroll on Basics “Potatoes
I took LSD and thought I was a eunuch as astute readers will have worked out, Botticelli’s Calumny of Apelles on the probably contain a retributive sting he places the action on the night of the wall, convinced herself that we were and a moral lesson, and tell of how writer of this 19th April. Returning from a sensible poisoning her, and decided to go for the writer’s residually addled mind piece begs that the reader will, revision session to what was intended a walk, alone; she has still not entirely produced only scribbles on the exam in spite of the recent glut of articles, to be a sensible night’s sleep, the writer forgiven us for it. paper and Mephistopheles dragged him exposés, and satires on the subject went to talk to English student number On to act two. At around dawn, the down to hell. But, to be honest, all was within the undergraduate press, be so one, who had just inished a sensible three of us that were left decided that ine. Certainly the following day was kind as to pardon this quite superlu- telephone call to her mother and was we would also go on a walk. After much alarming, lying down in bed alternately ous account of an experience concern- intending much the same. We agreed fumbling for shoes, we departed, fol- trying to reread Medea and sleep, with ing drugs. He apologizes, moreover, that a sensible, calming drink with a lowing the course ordained by destiny about as much success for this ghastly charade of anonymity, friend would not go amiss – for no more towards the Fellows’ Garden. Destiny, in both: lurid colours and wishes society permitted him to than an hour, mind, before bed. he appearing to us in the guise of co-inci- and disgusting images be more candid. only law with this plan was that English dence, picked up the Romanian NatSci kaleidoscoped the mind A better writer would no doubt student number three is not a massively in the middle of his nocturnal vagaries, in lieu of sleep, and it was subtly introduce the characters sensible person, and after a couple of and resulted in a curious yet meaningful impossible to read any more through the narrative, but in the ab- hours of gin she suggested, with an meeting with the Austrian philosopher, than a couple of lines sence of such a writer we will continue, enticing, Puckish glint in her eyes, that who jogged past us on Orgasm Bridge, of Euripides at a time. in theatrical fashion, with a dramatis we ‘do some acid’. Experience is valuable and, with a good deal of bemusement But the psychedelic personae, followed by a list of proper- in itself, we said, citing the changeable (the writer was, you must understand, haze had entirely dissi- ties. It is hoped that the benevolent tenets of a convenient faith. in his pyjamas and dressing gown at the pated by the morning pardon of the reader will be extended to he substance was duly sourced time), stopped to greet us, before re- of the exam, and if this rather laboured conceit. (don’t ask me from whom), ingested, turning to his ‘stoic timetable’ and jog- there is any moral here were four principal actors and quickly the writer’s desperate at- ging away. As the four of us walked the to this story, it is that – one classicist and three English tempts to continue revising the Ars path that stretched endlessly before us, a puritanical attitude students – and two minor roles, for Amatoria were confounded, as the the UL loomed into view, a more impos- to exam term is un- a Romanian NatSci and an Austrian words started to loat from their posi- ing erection than usual, and we (except necessary, and that philosopher. he writer was, he has tions and signiied drifted from signiier. perhaps the sober and by now rather experience is indeed subsequently concluded, the classicist. he four or so hours that followed (ac- impatient Romanian) felt sure that good in itself. Beside the pillows and blankets and cording, at least, to the testimony of the our predestined goal – the button that rolled cigarettes, the central props were clock) were a mess of blankets, pretty would end existence – was to be found Annoymous four small paper tabs, emblazoned colours, and unsettling womb imagery. on the top loor of the UL. Consistency meaningfully with yin yangs and such- he writer’s identity shifted from orna- not being an efect of the drug, however, like and saturated with a certain not ment to eunuch to the unborn child we turned to the Fellows’ Garden, and wholly legal substance beginning with of English student number three and the rest of the night was lowers in the an L and ending with a D. English student number four. Troubled dawn mist and the composed serenity he crucial fact that must be grasped by the happy family that was develop- of the morning backs is that everything that happened almost ing across the room, English student as we returned to precisely a day and a half before the be- number two began to see evil things in college. ginning of our irst year exams, which, the magazine pull-out reproduction of Act three should Features Wednesday 17th June 2015 23 SIMON LOCK
breaking into may balls: a blufer’s guide
he art – the science – of May Ball crashing is sought by many, but mastered by few. And yet, as long as there have been May Balls, there have been noble souls defrauding those May
Balls, tirelessly and selflessly working to dismantle a system that identifies as a definitive part of ‘the Cambridge experience’ an experience available only to those members of the University willing and able to shell out on costly tickets and attire to match. Varsity guide to crashing May Balls –which Varsity - TOne such dissident is among our number here at Varsity. And by pooling her knowledge and that of the members of the dark circles in which she moves, we have put together the , its editorship, and its board, of course, in no way condone, nor will they accept any responsibility for damages incurred by any per sonsSo, that adhering said, here to the are adviceyour options: ofered herein.
1. The ‘Break-In.’
Fairly self-explanatory, but get creative. And, by that, I mean that the risk of gate-crashers abseiling into the party across the Cam and a wall guarded by Porters is already on the security briefings for several Balls on the Backs. Not for the faint of heart: if you are not happy clambering up, and hopping down from, the walls of Sidney in a ball gown and heels, and – crucially – walking2. The ‘Agent of from Provocateur.’ the crime-scene like nothing happened, then this is not the approach for you.
Sleep with the Security Officer: sometimes the only way to get them to breach their brief is to breach their briefs yourself first. Viable alternatives include bouncers, Porters,3. The ‘Stolen and other Identity.’ committee members: adjust to taste. - and this There were definitely two Masters walking around St. John’s last year, and that is a resounding testimony to the power of an elaborate disguise. Recommended person ages to assume this year include would-be headliner Taylor Swift (‘Surprise!’), and treasured graduates of the year Eddie Redmayne (‘I’m a Pitt Club alumnus Oscar winner: make way’) and Stephen4. The ‘Wristband.’ Hawking (‘ is definitely a universe in which I’m on the guest list’). But you make it your own.
An old chestnut: you wait in College with your sewing kit whilst your paying friends (fools) send back intelligence as to the design and colour the committee in question has favoured,5. The ‘Tall knock Tale.’ up a replica, and in you saunter. Some colleges are getting around this with flashing wristbands, so add an Engineering student and some LEDs to your arsenal.
You’ve spent all year studying the narrative techniques of oral transmission amongst Yugoslav bards: now is the time to apply that multi-applicable Arts degree. Tailoring to your audience is essential. For example, if you are dealing with a male bouncer, make him absolutely as uncomfortable as possible by recounting in detail how you came onto your period and had to leave for a bit. Or if it’s a committee member who’s spent the last week drowned in complicated arrangements for the Ball, start explaining your own complicated arrangement for the Ball: your principal ticket-holder is a performer at the Ball and therefore already inside, they were meant to come out and find you but their set got delayed due to complications arising from…They’ll shut you up with a wristband faster than you can say ‘impending mental breakdown.’
So that’s the game: there are ten balls left, you have ten lives. Godspeed. 24 Wednesday 17th June 2015 Vulture Fashion Varsity Fair Fashion Vulture Wednesday 17th June 2015 25
L i b r a r y
L o o k
B o o k
Photographer: Johannes Hjorth ¦ Models: Grace Ding, Ana Persinaru, Dommy Goddard, Tabitha Hutchinson, Jasneet Sian ¦ Clothes: Phase Eight ¦ Fashion Editor, Styling, Direction: Meg Honigmann 26 Wednesday 17th June 2015 Vulture heatre
Midnight Cafe Another original piece of writing Edinburgh Fringe Preview Cambridge-based stage writing, Jamie Rycroft’s Midnight Cafe will debut at The Cambridge shows to catch if this year’s Fringe. Described by the Love Handles writer as a ‘tragic madness’, the play Billed as ‘the most renowned sketch troupe you’re heading north this August draws together various shades of char- of them all’ by he Independent, he Footlight’s acters between the hours of 12am-3am reputation goes without saying. Having pro- in a Milton Keynes cafe. Find it at 18:00 vided career platforms for the likes of David What the Dickens! from August 19th-30th, performed at Mitchell, Stephen Fry and Emma hompson, If you’re after comedy, the Cambridge Impronauts are Paradise in the Vault. the troupe’s international reputation needs no on hand. Following numerous well-received shows around introduction. heir show ‘Love Handles’ will Cambridge, the country’s oldest university improv troupe be performed at he ADC from 9th-20th June are transporting their Edinburgh audience back to Victorian before it heads to he Fringe in August. he cast London with their show What the Dickens!. With 4.5 stars of ive will comprise of Luke Sumner, Olivia Le from Varsity and labelled a “highly enjoyable, impressive Andersen, Archie Henderson (famous for his display of farcical humour’,” this hour of audience-inspired Severus Snape impersonation), Adrian Gray comedy is bound to be one well spent. Find them at 12:00, and Eleanor Colville, and they can be found at August 6th-30th, performing at the Underbelly, 56 Cowgate. Titus Andonicus the Underbelly Med Quad at 15:45. Not to be For those Shakespeare missed, particularly for comedy-lovers. lovers, the Cambridge Shakespeare Collective are tackling one of the Bard’s Picasso Stole the Mona Lisa most violently disturbing A self-termed ‘tragic-farce’ and plays, Titus Andronicus. another CUADC production—was JOHANNES HJORTH Expect blood, severed performed at the start of Lent Term limbs and cannibalistic and will take to he Fringe stage this revenge, all in the adapted August. Written by Cambridge student setting of a children’s Jamie Fenton, this witty, at times playground; Greg Forrest’s slapstick, comedy was well-received in direction promises chilling a Varsity review, labelled ‘innovative, disturbance, so this one’s charming and highly entertaining’. It not for the faint-hearted. draws its inspiration from historical Performed at 14:30, August suspicion surrounding the renowned 16th-31st, C venue 34. artist, and would be worth looking out for if you’re after an hour of original comic writing. Showing from August 16th-31st at 20:50, C Venues - C Nova (Venue 145). Paintings and Cake, & Pippin Cambridge is represented by a variety of performances at what promises to be an excellent Edinburgh Fringe this August. his, of course, is not all Cambridge has to ofer: the absurdist drama Paintings and Cake and the musical opera Pippin will also take to the stage, along with several other sketch shows. So if you’re heading to he Fringe in two month’s time, keep your eyes peeled for these Cambridge-based shows, all of which provide their own unique forms of entertainment. Can you do be er?
Join our team for Michaelmas 2015 JOHANNES HJORTH There’s never been a better time to join Varsity. Application forms are available for download from varsity.co.uk/get-involved The deadline for section editor applications is 5pm on Friday June 26 2015
All students are encouraged to apply. No experience of Varsity is necessary. If you have any questions, please email Tom, [email protected].
Positions on the team include: News Editor, Production Editor, Comment Editor, Features Editor, Arts Editor, Reviews Editor, Sport Editor, Fashion Editor, Science Editor, Theatre Critic, Music Critic, Classical Critic, Film Critic, Visual Arts Critic, Literary Critic, Food Critic, Photographer, Illustrator. See website for full list
A Midsummer Night’s Dream CUADC are taking an array of shows to this year’s Fringe, including a darkly twisted adaptation of Shakespeare’s summertime classic, A Midsummer Night’s Dream. his comedy-turned-surreal-nightmare foregrounds the manipulative power of the Gods (the mischievous Puck becomes Cupid), and their merciless power over humanity. Catch it at 15:05, August 16th-31st, C venues - C cubed (Venue 50) eatre Vulture Wednesday 17th June 2015 27 JOHANNES HJORTH
All the world’s a garden...
ay Week theatre will see an to be left untouched. It’s mainly about making “ e rehearsals have been outdoors when its own tranquil aura. infl ux of outdoor shows across sure everyone knows the physical cues, where been dry. at’s one of the issues, if it’s wet on “ e advantage is that the set automatically Cambridge, making the most of to stand, where to look. the day we have to move into Robinson Chapel looks beautiful with a bench and some ribbon. the fi ne weather and the idyl- “ ankfully the text transfers naturally to this and do the best we can. It’s nice to rehearse on It is also really nice when people are wander- Mlic backdrop of college gardens as a welcome particular outdoor space. e play has minimal the stage when when possible, just because it is ing through the gardens and catch parts of the reprieve to the likes of the ADC and Corpus stage eff ects, and as its a night-time perform- such a wonderful venue.’ rehearsal. Overall, it has been a great space to Playroom. With a host of locations to choose ance we are using lights, but apart from that its Venessa Upton directed Twelfth Night in the work with and when the sun is shining and the from, audiences across Cambridge are spoilt as the play would be. It’s liberating not to have Peterhouse Deer Park last week, and found that Shakespeare’s fl owing unprompted everyone is for choice: the Maria Björnson outdoor theatre to consider the stage eff ects; you can focus on her rehearsals also encountered problems that in a great mood.” in Robinson, two diff erent productions of A what the actors are doing without distracting weren’t weather-related. Alice Attlee, director of A Midsummer Midsummer Night’s Dream performed in them from their performance.” “Directing outdoors defi nitely has its chal- Night’s Dream in Emmanuel during May Week, the gardens of Selwyn and Emmanuel and Acting outdoors of course requires artistic lenges,” she explains. “Shouting lines over the agrees: “Putting on a play outside is pretty Benjamin Britten’s adaptation of e Turn of alterations to the way the actors go about their lawnmower, darkness cutting short the dress dreamy. Performing the play underneath a tree the Screw at the Sidney Sussex Arts Festival to roles, accommodating their line delivery and rehearsal and losing your set when the garden- actually makes a lot of things easier; the scenery name a handful. movements to the environment around them. ers decide to cut down a tree. is basically created for you, the atmosphere is “ e Maria Björnson outdoor theatre hasn’t “With an outdoor space’, explains Folley, “I “ e most diffi cult challenge I’ve faced as a already magic, plus you can rehearse in your been used much in recent years, but it’s a great encourage performers to act into that space: be director is fi nding a suitable back stage. ere performance space without having to book it space to have access to” says Tom Folley, who louder and make bigger movements. You don’t was talk of planting bushes. What we have set- out!” College grounds provide delightful back- is directing e Brickhouse production of want their performance to be lost if its windy. tled on is the cast hiding behind trees, which drops that lend themselves fi ttingly to the May Waiting for Godot. “It’s located right in the Godot needs that kind of performance indoors are somewhat further away from the stage than Week shows Cambridge has to off er, so make heart of Robinson’s gardens, by the lake. at or outdoors, so it’s another natural step.” we would like.” sure you don’t miss out. Fingers crossed that scenery alone is better than most sets.” But producing a play outdoors also presents Yet Upton also agrees that outdoor theatre the weather holds… “ ere’s not much you’re allowed to do with its own directorial challenges, the most obvious lends itself to minimalist set design, allowing George Ramsay, Waiting for Godot, as most of the script has of which being temperamental British weather. the natural beauty of the garden to create its eatre Editor 28 Wednesday 17th June 2015 Vulture Reviews
Summer Reading List
It’s been weeks – no, months since you’ve been able to the wonderful scenes set at the zoo in Pondicherry will choose what to read. Up until last week, every book you make you want to go on holiday there, and the description picked up was to do with Anglo-Saxon burial sites and of Piscine Molitor is once that really ought to be read by the reproductive system of fruit fl ies. You’re not knock- a pool. ing it – it was interesting, and it was defi nitely useful for e Garden of the Finzi-Continis by Giorgio Bassani is that exam question on the Great Fruit Fly Infestation of what I’m reading at the moment. I can’t speak for the end- 772 – but the prospect of delving into a novel on a sunny ing, obviously, but the fi rst few chapters are brilliant. It’s day is now delicious. But the question is: what novel? Fear set in Italy which immediately makes me feel summer, and not. Once more I’m here to off er my unsolicited advice, it’s got tennis playing in the sun day after day and a great and this time it’s on your summer reading list. ese are garden of cedars, limes, oaks, beeches, pines… all what I’d consider ‘literary poolside reads’. ey’re dead E.M. Forster’s Where Angels Fear to Tread is also sent easy, fun, and colourful, but also, you know, actually worth in Italy, upon a Tuscan landscape shimmering in heat reading. and haze. A family have a crisis, run around like headless e fi rst for those of you who fi nd the prospect of chickens, behave horribly and screw up other people’s leaving Cambridge, either for the summer or for good, lives. I think this is probably as close as 1905 got to Gossip daunting. Dusty Answer by Rosamond Lehmann is about Girl – albeit without the happy ending. Cambridge students at women’s colleges in the ‘20s, and If you’re looking for books with happy endings, here are is full of sunny golden gardens and the torment of under- a couple. Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome is graduate life in a world that’s eerily recognisable. And the about the summer holiday you longed for when you were focus on early twentieth century feminism and women’s ten – camping without parents, pirate wars, sailing your education only makes it better. own boat and mapping your own world. Admittedly, this Mrs Dalloway is also set in the early ‘20s. But rather is also written for ten year olds, and there are questionable than being reminiscent of a summer pining after spires of attitudes to indigenous peoples along the lines of Robinson Cambridge, this one sings of a summer spent doing work Crusoe, but on the whole it’s hilarious and charming. experience in London. Virginia Woolf unpicks the mind And then there’s Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. is of Clarissa Dalloway as she prepares for a party in the heat is ultimate chick-lit: romantic, funny, heartfelt, hopeful. If of June, and you’ll see the London parks in their full glory, you’ve never read it, now’s the time. Austen didn’t know it the trundling crowds in Piccadilly, and the relief of cool but she wrote this so that you could read this instead of 50 drawing rooms at the peak of the daily heat. Shades whilst you’re sunbathing by a pool or commuting I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith is another that’s in the morning rush hour. enticingly summery. ere are scenes of midsummer My fi nal recommendation is that you read something bonfi res and dancing and fl ower crowns on the mound of really diffi cult that you’ve wanted to read for ages. It could an ancient castle. And there are also some beautiful ac- be Ulysses, it could be In Search of Lost Time, it could be counts of meals (I think these are far too rare in general) the Iliad in the original Greek. Now’s the time to tackle and strange goings on like shutting people in towers and the monsters – you’ve got four months, so even if it’s just dying dresses green. It’ll probably make you cry a lot, but a little headway, it’s worth it. But for goodness’ sake, don’t everyone needs an emotional purge now and then. waste this summer on Netfl ix or crappy magazines. Make For another that’s potentially quite emotional, consider the most of your freedom and read, or you’ll really regret Life of Pi by Yann Martel, if you haven’t already read it. It’s it once we’re back here in October writing weekly essays really about a boy’s relationship with God and with him- again. self, which is pretty big and not necessarily summery, but Noa Lessof-Gendler
Editors’ Lunch: When Features met Magazine
Snacks is not one of them. food is inedible). Instead of utter egre- Issy suggested that I liked it more giousnesss, I found bland mediocrity. than the impression I gave, as epito- It was like Aldi ravioli, with the same mised by the look of furious dismay absence of fl avour, the same sweaty in the picture to the left. Admittely, yet starchy exterior - but I suppose the pork and prawn dumplings were nothing could have prepared me for exquisite - the crispy texture on the the following course: pig’s ears. I was outside combined delectably with expecting a crunchy batter coat- the juiciness of the prawns and the ing - like that which the best Italian tenderness of the pork. ey pulled restaurants put on the fi nest squid off the tricky feat of putting two subtle the shining deep blue Mediterranean fl avours together, without one over- sea can off er. Pig’s ears are a horrible whelming the other. enough food as it is, but Zhonghua But this single success serves made a pig’s ear of cooking them. It only to highlight this place’s appall- was like trying to eat my own measly, ing culinary standards. Churchill’s unchewable biceps. It was a culinary The Third Man Sleep and is Gun for Hire. Movies Tom Wheeldon famous description of Russia as ‘a experience down there with the vile that followed a reckless, sometimes riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside moment in that vile book American even feckless, law enforcer or haggard n the outer Siberia past Christ’s an enigma’ springs to mind when one Psycho when Patrick Bateman takes private detective. ink Humphrey pieces lurks the sub-culture of is confronted with the question of his girlfriend out for her birthday, gets Bogart, or even the much overlooked Mill Road, full of independent how Issy or anyone could describe the a urinal cake from the toilets, asks Dick Powell, as Philip Marlowe, or Alan restaurants where Cambridge’s seaweed as ‘delicious’. It looked and the chefs to coat it in chocolate and “Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 Ladd and Veronica Lake double-crossed doyennes of the metropoli- tasted like it was picked up from the subsequently tells her it’s a special years under the Borgias they had war- and on the run, on the East coast. is Itan elite such as Miss Cockerell go beach at Skegness, imbued with the dessert, and so she actually eats it. fare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but was the Film Noir audiences knew and, to eat, in a vain attempt to absolve fl avour of the nuclear waste and raw If you want dinner amongst the they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo in their multitudes, frequented on their themselves of a totally unnecessary sewage with which it was carried from edgy vibe of the Mill Road earlier, I da Vinci, and the Renaissance.” trips to American multiplexes. guilt at growing up in nice houses the sea onto the shore. would ardently recommend - with Carol Reed’s e ird Man was fi rst e ird Man, by contrast, was set in in Notting Hill. ere are many fi ne After attempting to eat this mon- every fi bre of my being - that you opt released in 1949 at the height of the Europe - war torn Vienna - in the cha- culinary establishments around here strosity, I moved onto the egg and ‘ed- for the fi ne Anatolian cuisine at Tulip, Hollywood fashion for Film Noir, a gen- otic aftermath of the liberation, when - the Turkish restaurant Tulip being ible fungus’ dumplings (they may well instead of exposing yourself to the re that produced fi lms with titles like: allies fenced city corners off from one its delectable jewel in the crown - but feel the need to specifi cally designate cruel and unusual off ences to the pal- e Big Combo, e Big Heat, e Big another, and black-markets soared. e Norfolk Street’s Zhongua Traditional it as ‘edible’ because so much of their ate on off er at Zhongua.
hongua Traditional Snacks strumming a Ukelele, on another a cheered up when he thought it would munching on bits of tragus. ey went on Norfolk Street is, noisy family, and dotted around were be old fashioned crispy seaweed, and cold incredibly quickly, and weren’t any naturally, Tom Wheeldon’s a number of Chinese students eating fl agged visibly when he realised it was better for it. nightmare in a restaurant. separately and alone with their head- actual kelp, tossed in a zingy chilli and But the dumplings, soup and Wheeldon is the kind of phones plugged in. We were directed soy dressing, eaten like spaghetti, and salads are the understated triumph of manZ who one would fully expect to to sit down next to one of these - to quite delicious). I ordered for both of Zhongua, with their zinging freshness drag a teddy around campus, who Tom’s utter amazement. us, like a fat businessman would for and savoury depth. If you don’t mind reveres the cold stone and hushed tra- Zhongua is a popular pre-Picture- his lady companion, with relish. Along sharing slightly sticky tables with Mill ditions of old Oxbridge, and deplores house hang out for the dark horses of with the kelp, we had the egg and black Road’s fi nest, you’d be hard-pressed to Cripps courts, technology, lefties, gen- the Cambridge student scene. ose fungus steamed dumplings, the prawn spend more than a tenner on a varied eral hoi polloi and the seething mass rare birds who live outside College on and pork fried dumplings, a tom yum and satisfying lunch. Drag yourself of cretins he views as most people Mill Road populate this place frequent- soup and - this, perhaps, was pushing away from your collegiate bubble outside the enclave of Corpus Christi ly, the types who wear black, smoke it - the fi ve-spice pig’s ears. ese last and over to Norfolk street. Take a College, Cambridge. e crowd at roll-up cigarettes and slurp their noo- were, well, cartilage-y. I sort of thought Wheeldon-esque companion while Zhongua, therefore, were perplexing to dles over a volume of Isherwood. We they would be like dry, crunchy you’re at it: he might actually enjoy it. Isobel Cockerell him. On one table sat a man in a fedora ordered the seaweed salad (Wheeldon crackling, but they really were just like Reviews Vulture Wednesday 17th June 2015 29
The Haunted Bookshop
ruth be told, I have never many things that gives he Haunted bought anything from Bookshop its appeal. No spare inch SCOTT RUDIN PRODUCTIONS he Haunted Bookshop. has gone to waste, and yet you know Perhaps this is because it that they would always have room to is not, if you'll forgive me, stock more, even if it means squeez- oneT of my chief haunts: I always seem ing Aristotle in beside Beatrix Potter. to forget that it's there on the way to As the lady behind the desk, oversee- G. David or Market Square or some ing my fruitless browses, noted: “You other destination, and just brush past can never have too many books.” it. Perhaps it is a matter of pricing: at Only in the last week have this time in term, when most of us at- I become a regular visitor, if not cus- tempt to throttle back on our spend- tomer, no doubt leaving many a inger- ing and retreat into a tepid austerity mark on many a page. Places like this before May Week, £8 for even a little force you to make some pretty agonis- old out-of-print A6 hardback requires ing choices, like leaving behind a beau- a bit of justiication. tifully compact, two-volume edition of Milton's poetry, the price as eye-
SIMON LOCK watering as the font size. hat's prob- ably unfair: he Haunted B o o k s h o p houses a lot of antique, hard-to-find treasures, rar- ities that have increased and will continue to increase in value. Of course, the best reason But he Haunted Bookshop, -perhaps the only good reason - to situated on the same sidestreet as the buy a book is to read it; it is a pleas- Indigo Café and the Corpus Playroom, ing bonus if it should turn out to be a is one of Cambridge's most enigmatic inancial investment. and enticing curiosity shops. It is ab- But as for the real, nagging solutely tiny, smaller than my room in issue of this secondhand booksell- college, but it makes the most of its ers, I can only give secondhand re- impressive surface area-to-volume ra- port. 'Why is it called he Haunted tio. A bookshelf forms every wall, and Bookshop?' I asked the lady behind another bisects the loorspace. Barely- the desk. “Because it's haunted”, she controlled chaos prevails. Any grand replied. “A woman in Victorian dress design or plan is well disguised: be- comes down every night after closing yond one shelf which seems to uphold time, and smells the violets.” the great tradition of English poetry, I did not enquire about the and its neighbour, home to particu- violets , but I had noticed a roped-of larly large and valuable artefacts, it is staircase, twirling up to a higher level, very diicult to predict where a title piles of books resting on the lower should be. his is not a plea for more steps. organisation; in fact, this random ar- Harry Cochrane chitecture of dusty spines is one of the
‘happy as a lark’ hero, Holly Martins, is Gun for Hire in 1942). Reed, on the At the end of the famous carousel a dime-a-dozen novelist of western ro- other hand, had a history in directing scene, one which sees unfamiliar faces mances. His latest, ‘he Lone Rider of British comedies called things like Bank in old friends, Harry Lime (Welles) Sante Fe’, bears a striking resemblance Holiday and Penny Paradise, with only says to Holly Martins (Cotten), “In BBC FILMS AND CUBA PRODUCTIONS to the story of the ilm itself. As is re- a few outings in the thriller/noir vein. Switzerland they had brotherly love - called, in Martins’s novel, “he lone his irst writer/director collaboration, they had 500 years of democracy and rider has his best friend shot unlaw- consisting of a main cast of American peace, and what did that produce?” fully by a sherif. he story is how this actors (Joseph Cotten and Orson Martins is quiet. “he cuckoo clock.” lone rider hunted the sherif down.” he Welles) that irst got people’s attention Lines, supposedly improvised, reso- question is: who is the sherif and who with Citizen Kane in 1941, made he nate with the ilm as a whole. It asks the is the lone rider? hird Man unlike many other generic question: from where comes the greater Graham Greene, the tormented noirs of its time. he hero doesn’t get art, war or peace? By the end of the ilm, or such a man. he verbatim method, ‘redemptive’ – yet leaving the audito- Catholic novelist, wrote the novella of the girl. here’s no double crossing or no one really knows. at its best, lends song-lyrics trippingly rium I was struggling to ind a sense of the ilm before the screenplay and was back stabbing revenge. Only the shad- playful rhythms, while at its worst, hope. It’s supposedly about community no stranger to generic ilms like this ows of broken men in a broken city, and William Hutton lands us with messy, grating refrains – but what community, and whose? (he penned the script for Ladd’s his Anton Karas to play the zither. that ultimately beg the question why he street party crowning the road’s these Dictaphone-recorded voices had renewal seems more like a timely trav- to be stuck to so faithfully. esty of Cameron’s Big Society, replete but in practice it’s just frustrating; the here is of course a conspicuous with optimism that deep-running London Road screen-time these stooges soak up only absence: that of the victims. Fellow social problems might be glazed over highlights their lack of depth. Tom sex workers make a brief appearance, with lower-boxes. he ilm is undeni- Between 30 October and 10 December Olivia Colman gives the stand-out Hardy’s one scene feels like a throwa- but the tale is not theirs. In the view ably ambivalent (sex worker Vicky is 2006, ive female sex workers were performance as Julie, who is by turns way: material Blythe was determined of the residents, they and their way of played by Kate Fleetwood, who origi- murdered in Ipswich. London Road charming, tender and cold–but unfor- to incorporate without much purpose. life constitute a level of human deg- nally played Julie in the stage produc- is not their story however, but that of tunately the only character that shines he ilm’s distinctiveness lies in its radation comparable to the murders tion, undercutting in a subterranean the community around the tragedy, as through the Creature Comforts¬- intersections of documentary-style themselves. A cheery-faced husband way Julie’s malice) and yet I struggle to residents face down the ensuing media esque interview format. he rest realism with theatrical movement calls them “slags”, to the laughter of his gauge to what extent. fanfare, whilst also trying to compre- merge into one undiferentiated mass (being originally a stage-show at he wife, and indeed the cinema audience. While London Road trips over some hend how a murderer dwelt amongst of quips and opinions. he camera National) and of course the music. his tendency culminates with Julie – of its quirks, it remains an intriguing them. he script is entirely made up of has a shifty habit of trailing certain here are some great numbers: school- icy and measured – as she announces musical and a disturbing vision of con- verbatim transcriptions from inter- igures–the shaggy-haired Dodge in girls played by Eloise Laurence and that the victims are better of dead; temporary society. It’s probably worth views conducted by writer, Alecky particular–as if we were being asked Meg Suddaby weave, singing, through that she would shake their killer’s seeing, if only because you’re unlikely Blythe. Also it’s a musical. And Tom to suspect them. his distrustful shops and cafes, half terriied, half fas- hand. London Road has been billed as to see anything else like it this year. Hardy’s in it. Briely. Camera Eye makes sense theoretically, cinated, that the killer might be such uplifting – Blythe herself calls its story Jim Hilton OCSEP Paid Summer Teaching Internship in China Duration: July 1st - August 15th, 2015 Location: Cities in mainland China Remuneration OCSEP Seminar Leader Recruitment 2014 A flight stipend (up to a maximum of 5000RMB) Accommodation (Western style)
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After completing his degree, - like cracking a code, and a lot of it ITV’s Cambridge Boulting moved to Hamburg where was written in a foreign language.” alumnus, Ned Boulting, he became deeply fond of a local club With 198 riders and 198 narratives on called FC St. Pauli, which he describes any given day, the Tour de France is “so NED BOULTING reflects on his career as “the alternative left wing anarchist much more interesting and engaging football club of the German Leagues - than football.” Zack Case and they play in Brown!” he state of cycling in 2015 is very Sport Editor By his mid-twenties, Boulting was diferent to where it was in 2003. While hooked: “I was a football fan to the Boulting concedes that it remains a Ned Boulting has worn the Yellow point of obsession.” But his life lacked fairly minor sport, when he started Jersey for ITV’s coverage of the Tour any real direction. working it was “an invisible sport, right de France since 2003. He began at Sky In 1997 everything changed. “When up there with croquet, badminton and Sports in 1997 as a tea boy and left my incompetent grand master plan to chess, so unimportant in the national in 2001 after working on the popular be an actor dried up, I fell into work- scheme of things. And now it is every- show ‘Soccer Saturday’. He then joined ing for Sky.” He started of as a tea boy, body’s second favourite sport.” ITV’s football coverage team, before working for £50 a week. his “unimaginably successful fairy making the switch to cycling. story” began in 2008. “Cavendish won Along the way, he has won the Royal By 1998 he was a reporter. “hat is four stages of the Tour de France, and Television Society Sports News Re- how it works sometimes in the me- Hoy, Pendleton and Wiggins all came porter of the Year in 2006, written dia. If you show willing and initiative back from Beijing with a lood of gold three books on cycling, produced and things can happen quite fast.” medals. he best cyclists in the world directed documentary programs on Boulting worked on ‘Soccer were British. Britain had a global su- Denis Bergkamp and Steven Gerrard, perstar in the Tour de France and and even covered the Oxbridge boat Britain dominated the track. race. “Cavendish continued to become him, and he knew that nobody could are locked down in a system where you And his race began at Cambridge, the greatest sprinter there has ever touch him. can only compete if you play ball.” where he studied Modern Languages been, and then Team Sky formed A perk of Boulting’s job is the chance at Jesus College from 1987-91… IF YOU SHOW WILLING (2010), stating that they wanted to win to witness the biggest events live. He Or not. Boulting spent most of his the Tour within ive years. hey did it says that he will never forget Liverpool’s undergraduate years at the ADC, AND INITIATIVE THINGS CAN within three (2012), and again the fol- comeback in the Champions League where he “bounced from one produc- HAPPEN QUITE FAST lowing year.” he rest is history. Final in 2005 or the 2006 World Cup tion to the next.” He loved the freedom But it is not all about reporting and THE ENTIRE SPORT DEPENDED Final when he happened to glance at which student dramatics entailed: presenting. “It is important to keep my Zidane’s infamous head butt. “there are no grown ups in charge; the life varied.” ON HIM AND HE KNEW Yet the free tickets are also one of animals are running the zoo.” Saturday’ with “some of the best” in I never imagined that I would be NOBODY COULD TOUCH HIM the pitfalls of the job: “attending sport- Such an investment into drama the business. Namely Jef Stelling, able to write a book”, he said, and yet ing events feels like work.” Boulting ac- came at a cost. “I was barely involved whom he describes as “unparalleled”, he is currently working on his fourth. tually enjoys going with his youngest in my studies, to be brutally honest. I possessing an “encyclopaedic knowl- He is also an acclaimed director and daughter and buying a ticket to watch did the bare minimum to keep myself edge” of football. producer, which he describes as “great “And he was bored of sycophants Charlton Athletic. ticking over.” After joining ITV in 2001 where he fun.” and he always used to seek out the As the conversation draws to a close, Boulting’s interest in football be- continued similar work with football, Boulting also used to cover the boat challengers. He would single me out Boulting concludes with a word of ad- gan to develop during his time at a groundbreaking opportunity arose race. “At Cambridge I held active an- and say “go on, what have you got for vise to aspiring journalists - even if Cambridge, which directly correlated in 2003. ITV had secured the rights to tipathy towards the boat clubs and me today?” One in ten times I might “the days of secure jobs on newspapers to Cambridge United’s surge up the cover the Tour de France and needed rowers,” but after covering the race ex- land a blow.” are numbered if not vanished.” Football Leagues. He remembers go- somebody to present it: Boulting was tensively claims a “new found respect Has cycling been permanently “here will always be value in having ing to the Abbey stadium with friends their man. for the Cambridge rowers.” tainted? “For some people it will be”, the right contacts. hat is what jour- to watch the matches, as well as the “My sporting professional career Relecting on his career, he will Boulting accepts, but the Armstrong nalism is - knowing the right people feeling of antipathy from ‘townies’ turned on an axis when I was intro- remember jousting with Lance scandal was perhaps a blessing in dis- and being trusted so that people will since they were “not necessarily made duced to the Tour de France.” At irst Armstrong most clearly. “I was cap- guise. “Cycling needed to be singled talk to you. to feel welcome.” Boulting describes how he was quite tivated by him at irst. But I was very out because it had by far the biggest “You can sit at your keyboard and be Growing up in Bedford, a town with- out of his depths: “It took literally years quickly aware of what was going on – problem, and today cycling is doing a blogger and a warrior all you like, full out any professional football teams in to understand the sport. I wasn’t quite all the journalists knew – but we didn’t ten times more than any other sport of opinion and bluster, but you have to the vicinity, Boulting “wasn’t massively prepared for how absolutely stunning have the silver bullet fact that would to combat doping. I think it is cleaner get out there and chat to people and into sport” and “certainly didn’t play it the Tour de France is as an event.” nail him and stand up in court. We now than ever in one hundred years. build up connections and contacts.” very much.” He claims that he has been to World could only raise an eyebrow and ex- hat doesn’t mean that it’s clean – just Boulting will soon be presenting his In spite of this, he acknowledges Cup inals which “hadn’t even ap- press doubt. cleaner.” 13th Tour de France. He certainly has that it was hard to avoid the biggest proached the Tour in terms of gran- “Funnily enough, he quite enjoyed Boulting too recognises the “human ridden a long way from the Cambridge sporting events. “I generally liked my deur and global interest. It is immense, it. He was a clever man. When he cost” of competition. “Athletes are hu- United-supporting thespian of his uni- sport and liked the big occasions. he uncontrollable, unfathomable, over- dominated the sport, he felt so im- man beings at the end of the day, and versity days. seed was sown and bubbled away, but complicated and foreign.” pregnable, so indomitable because he the real tragedies are the lesser ath- “I’m not sure if Cambridge really the gene only really expressed itself He explains cycling as “as sport had so many friends in high places. In letes who are on a UCI minimum wage prepared me for any of this, but maybe later in my life.” within a sport, stories within stories a way the entire sport depended on and need to feed their families. hey it did – in a funny way.” he football season in a nutshell cont. Continued from back page veteran of clubs in plight, or of the Tim Sherwood will also enjoy a he winners, and deservedly so in would be atop the Premier League tree reputable Dick Advocaat, may remind summer where he managed to walk a season where pundits tried to ind together with Chelsea (more or less). Caretaker Managers: clubs that however likeable they may the walk as well as the talking the talk. moments of crisis to create some title- A second FA cup triumph consoli- be, the assistant manager may not be His Aston Villa team seemed revital- race excitement in a season of quasi- dated another year with a trophy, and “Never mind with the world’s best, we the best bet for future success. ised after the stale, turgid regime of domination, Chelsea were already the however pathetic their Champions have got them in our ranks” was once Paul Lambert, and it only adds to the favourites after a solid irst year un- League exit may have been, there is a the thought process behind Barcelo- Underrated Managers: fact that his maverick behaviour on der Mourinho where the foundations sense that another team, and maybe na’s hiring of new coaches, and since the touchline might also provide the were laid for next year’s success, and another era, is growing around Arsene it proved so successful, it seemed that Viliied during his presence, but team with much needed impetus. this year the ‘little horse’ turned into a Wenger. the mid to lower table Premier League yearned for in his absence, Newcastle Other managers with a broad chest veritable thoroughbred. teams thought just the same. fans must be feeling like the Germans this summer will be Nigel Pearson, he squad efortlessly combines Honourable Mentions: Yet for neither John Carver nor Chris of the 1930s who had decided to pass the irst class graduate from Alan practicality, quality and balance. Even Ramsey was it a Guardiola-esque per- on the liberal decadence of the Weimar Pardew’s School for the hot-headed more disconcerting for the opposi- Caps must be dofed to Louis van formance of unknown qualities, but Republic in return for a Nazi Germany but successful manager Sam Allardyce tion is that the team seemed to grow Gaal, who may have taken the irst step rather more reminiscent of the reality after Alan Pardew left to mastermind (or Allardici as he would like to style in conidence and quality with every in Manchester United’s rehabilitation of throwing a small child into the deep a brilliant end-of-season spurt with himself), who led West Ham to mid- passing victory. to respectability; Ryan Betrand, who end without armbands. Crystal Palace, while Newcastle plum- table comfort after taking over with Whisper it, and quietly so in case smuggled himself into the PFA team Although the former managed to meted to new depths of misery. them in the Championship, and of there are any other disbelieving of the year after years of derision due survive drowning, largely thanks to From dartboard pin up on Tyneside, course Mark Hughes and Ronald Londoners supporting Chelsea or to his start, and win, in a Champions the rather hapless performances of his this season was the perfect time for Koeman deserve massive credit for Tottenham around, but this Arsenal League inal alongside such footballing rivals, both did little to enhance their Alan Pardew to remind English foot- their overachievements. team seems to be the most complete greats as Salomon Kalou; as well as the reputation as full time generals rather ball that however much he may be since the last era of silverware glory. underrated, or previously unappreci- than second-hand lieutenants. disliked, he may actually be a quite tal- he Greats: In a season where results where only ated, English strikers of the future, he success of Tony Pulis, the ented manager. count from October onwards, Arsenal Harry Kane and Charley Austin. 32 Wednesday 17th June 2015 Sport e football season in a nutshell
A rewind through the Last year it was almost time for an managed to punctuate the season with Something has gone wrong and starting Marseille, but their quality obituary on the career of Juan Mata, fl ashes of brilliance, his mediocrity it is certain that, Chelsea aside, few shone through. 2014/15 season and while he may have redeemed him- serves as a reminder to any potential Premier League teams will have a real- Bayern and Juve both made equally self, United’s recent trend for turning star considering a move to Manchester istic continental chance next season. good cases that their respective leagues Fel x Sch chter players of world renown into tripe for in the summer. It has been proven that these things may be a touch too easy for them. at least a season continues. come and go in cycles, but there is lit- Barcelona were without a doubt the Sports Correspondent When Di Maria loses his starting e Premier League: tle to doubt that currently the Premier stand-out team of the year, and fully spot to Ashley Young and Radamel League is in the doldrums of European deserved a stunning treble after a few It may not have been a classic Premier Falcao turns into a fi gure of Torres-like Gary Lineker, pointing to West football. years of unfulfi lled ambition. League season. e title was over by sporting ridicule, clearly something Brom’s victory over Chelsea, said that Even the ageing sick man of Europe, In the smaller competitions, Andre late April, but in theory by the end has gone wrong with Manchester we had the best league in the world. the Serie A, had a Champions League Villas-Boas continued his success of February. e relegation battle did United’s star acquisitions. “In no other league does this happen.” fi nalist and two Europa League with teams expected to win the ti- nicely for a while, but any end of sea- When Falcao joined in August, a It may be that Gary Lineker simply fi nalists. tle in leagues with (relatively) little son round which features a 3 minute memorable quote from Phil Neville missed Freiburg’s (eventually rel- competition, and Dnipro proved to break to carry players off the pitch read, “It doesn’t matter where he fi ts egated) win over Bayern Munich, but A European Overview: be the surprise of the Europa League, smacks somewhat of anti-climax. it, just play him and he’ll score goals.” even if excitement still reigns over the although winners Sevilla are establish- Nevertheless, there were enough But Falcao was unable to fulfi l these Premier League, quality seems woe- e European Leagues fi nished ing their names as perennial favourites winners and losers to praise and prophecies – or Phil Neville is rubbish fully absent. more or less as expected. Barcelona, for the award of best non-excellent commiserate for our off -season at punditry. It was another year, in a worryingly Bayern Munich, PSG and Juventus are team in Europe - bets on the likeli- entertainment. With all the energy of Duracell long line of them since 2011 (excluding all serial winners in their own coun- hood of them to fi nish third in their bunny but all the fi nishing qualities Chelsea’s anomaly in 2012), in which tries and each managed to cruise to Champions League group and win the Manchester United’s star of one too, he showed little on the the Premier League failed to properly the title relatively unhindered. Europa League again are probably cur- signings: pitch to vindicate the much-celebrated impose itself on important Champions PSG probably had the toughest time rently suspended. move. Although Di Maria occasionally League proceedings. against a resurgent Lyon and a strong- Continued on page 31 SIMON LOCK
A group of the Corpus cricket team take a break during a practice session at the college’s Leckhampton site