Vol 62 No. 2 March 8 1988 This publication is free , so pick one up contents editorial Well here we all are then, the Orientation controller, who another week in the life of a three was not informed) the event in­ legged professional nappy volved alcohol and therefore changer and sheep dipper has gave it her approval. Needless to passed. It is of great concern to say she's pretty pissed off now, as us, here at Craccum, that a trend the event was supposed to run features of cultural distortion is beginning until one o'clock, but continued to overtake the world. It can not for much longer, subsequently be denied that the adulteration wiping out the Jazz Picnic of Beatles Music, and the use of scheduled for Thursday afternoon. Dear John the song Revolution on a shoe commercial in the United States, The Union M anager was also International Women's Day 6 is of much concern to us all. falsely informed to the nature of Into the Economic Morass 10 Closer to home, last week in the the event, she was told 'there would be a little social drinking' Le Politique le poseur 11 Quad we saw a rather interesting version of the old game this gave her a false impression The F Word 8 'Monopoly' (as old as the Presi­ of the amount of beer that would dent? probably not) - 'with a less be imbibed and the vomit that than traditional currency', name­ would be produced. ly beer. The gam e involved four So they say everyone knew ex­ teams, of four drinkers, with four actly what was going on, the kegs, pretty lethal ratios. Three of Union M anager says she was regular the participants Richard Foster, falsely informed, the Orientation Geraldine Ryan, and Mark Controller says they were Barlow were present at a special dishonest, and the rest of the ex­ Executive meeting last week, that ecutive says legislation for drink­ prevented a Drinking Horn being ing in the Quad should be drawn Arts 15 held on the Tuesday of that same up to prevent such intentional Art Gallery 13 week. The executive resolution misunderstandings. Gosh this stated that there shouldn't be any certainly is a funny place. Chaplains Chat 12 drinking horns during March and So if you want to organise Cover 1 definitely not during orientation, something really bad or sneaky Dragon Boat Festival 4 because it would disrupt the in the future without anybody fin­ cultural emphasis, and if involv­ ding out, and preventing you Editorial 2 ing outside sponsorship, would from doing it, then have a chat Gorilla Enrolment 4 be in conflict with the BNZ spon­ to : Mark Barlow your Education sorship deal. Now we get into the Vice-President, Geraldine Ryan Letters 19 word games, is four groups of your trusted Welfare Officer, and Music 7 four people getting really pissed of course Richard Foster, our Notices 18 and vomiting in cliques, which beloved President and local dei­ denied general students and ty. The more observant of you Normal 12 particularly first years (it is orien­ (both of you) may have noticed Orgasms 3 tation guys!) access, as a con­ that Craccum cam e out on a cept, so different from a drinking Tuesday last week. This is not Poetry 15 horn, where slightly more people because the editors were in­ Politics 9 get pissed and vomit.... well I'll competent, although no one Something 23 leave it to you. Now you may can seriously deny that the think, oh well so they wouldn't be editors are incompetent, but Sports 17 the best editors for the concise because we have changed our Slings and Arrows 6 Oxford Dictionary but what's printers. So happy Tuesday wrong with a little fun, well we reading folks. And remember University stretched to Capacity 5 agree with this and would go so your a womble. Winners and losers 5 far as to say what's wrong with a The Editors: Miriam De Graaf, lot of fun? Fair enough. But the in­ Carl Fagan, Simon Holroyd, and teresting part of the story involves Wendy Lawson.

Craccum is a source of free ex­ ADVERTISING pression and information for Auckland University Students and MANAGER the University community. Crac­ credits cum is not the official publication of the Auckland University Credits: We would like to thank Wayne McDougall and Tron the Students' Association or of the CRACCUM NEEDS AN ADVERTIS­ the following people and cyber- mouse who lives under the filing University of Auckland. Both ING MANAGER FOR THE REST O F. nauts for their contribution. Gina cabinet. bodies may not endorse or 1988. THE JOB IS NOT FULL TIME O'Shea, Mr Big Nose, Craig Printers: Putaruru Press agree with opinions expressed AND CAN BE WORKED IN AROUND Dickson, Beatle Treadwell, Peter Publishers: Auckland University within Craccum, and neither YOUR LECTURES SO LONG AS YOU De Graaf, Tara Anderson, David Students Association necessarily do the editors. In fact, ARE DOING 5 OR LESS PAPERS. THE (George) Ward, Cornelius Stone, Postal Address: c/o AUSA, Private if the editors are actually aware MONEY IS REASONABLY GOOD, Shelley Turner, Mary McGeever, Bag, Auckland of what has been written it is AND ALLOCATED ON A COMMIS­ Saffron Outfield, Joanna Priestley, Phone 390-789 ext 840, ext 841 purely accidental... what SION BASIS, CONTACT CRACCUM Aidan Howard, Daphna Whit­ Advertising editors? 390-789 EXT 840. more, Leafy Cooky, Susan Nisbet, Typesetting: Barbara Hendry RETRACTION

An extremely unfortunate error Gort) apologises most profusely for was made in our first issue last this abhorrent mistake, and I week. In 'Show n Tell' the com­ hereby promise to grovel to a ment 'Maths Dept sux' was at­ suitable extent in the form of tributed to Gina. This was in fact penance. Gina in fact said no such in error and, through a communica­ thing, does not even belong to the tion cock up, was not corrected Maths Dept and would probably “Oh God! This could take forever! before we went to print. The per­ love it if she did. son responsible for this, me (i.e. Ed. Gort

2 ◄ CRACCUM March 8 1988 ORGASM Related Accidents

Drowning. Electrocution. Strangulation. This ad was part o f a These are all pretty nasty ways to go. But 1987 nationwide safety what else is there? ls there a nice way to step Humper the Rabbit says: program sponsored by off this mortal coil? Some might think so, and the Organization o f it is these people who are a danger to us all. Orgasm Security Per­ It is these people, dangerous people, who are Don’t light tires yen sonnel - otherwise the cause of one of the world's newest and known as the Orgasm deadliest plagues....The Orgasm Related Ac­ Police. Alarmed by the cident. It all started back in the sixties, free increasing number of love was all the rage and the world was orgasm-related ac­ undergoing sexual and social revolution. Peo­ cidents, the Insurance ple were doing things then that had never been Revenue Service (IRS) done before (at least not in broad daylight) and established the Orgasm it was at this time that suspicion of the ex­ Police in 1985 to istence of O.R.A. first appeared. regulate irresponsible orgasms. A system o f orgasm licenses was in­ stituted, but was SHEETSTAIN cancelled after only three months because o f the widespread inability o f most people to First noted by Dr Eric Cosmos Sheetstain in qualify. 1967, when two factory workers indulging in A secretiv e organiza­ intimate pastimes in their lunchbreak were tion by nature, the heard to cry out together, and simultaneous­ Orgasm Police soon ly the factory's largest machine, the 'Terylene gained a reputation, Grommit Extruder' mysteriously switched however undeserved, itself on, trapping worker Barry Bilgevommit for Gestapo techniques. and extruding him. An inquiry found nothing It was rumored that a wrong with the machine, and no blame could cigarette smoked in be legally attributed to the couple, despite a bed, or even a faraway long and involved court battle after which the smile, could result in a pair were sacked. The incident was then raid. forgotten. It took another incident two years later and of far greater proportions before in­ In order to counter this vestigations into, the phenomena began image, the Orgasm seriously. The time was July the fourth, nine­ Police came up with teen eighty-one. Humper the Rabbit to carry their message to the public. Through posters, television, and radio spots, Humper SWARFEGA SLEEPING spread the gospel of responsibility and restraint. After an extensive campaign, the reported A rather wild and raucus Independence Day And in the process, lit­ incidents of O.R.A. declined sharply, and only party dissolved into an obscene mire of filth tle Humper became a five years later reports become relatively rare. and depravity, probably initiated by the person celebrity, cherished and Today in nineteen-eighty-eight, the strange oc­ who brought the four boxes of rubber bands imitated all over and the industrial sized tin of swarfega along. currence of Orgasm Related Accidents is but America. As the party degenerated, it became increas­ a thing of the past, forgotten and yet perhaps ingly obvious that something was about to feasibly still there. It may indeed have become happen. Nobody was sure what was about to extinct, perhaps it is only sleeping. Perhaps it come when suddenly nothing happened (but is the sleeping that is responsible for it being it happened suddenly!). Just as the host walk­ extinct. Who knows. The only thing we have, ed in, and proceeded to perform a rather that we can be absolutely sure of is the ad­ bizarre trick with two tins of condensed milk, vice of Humper the Rabbit.... If you can't come a chipolatta, a bottle opener and a twelve volt nice, don't come at all. battery, tragedy occurred! With an enormous bang, the foundations gave way, and in the resulting turmoil over half the guests were kill­ ed. Post mortems on the victims revealed the horrifying truth....their deaths were the direct result of a mass simultaneous orgasm.

HUMPER

Immediately, Congress established an in­ vestigation, and its findings were responsible for the framework of a safety campaign to warn the public of the possible dangers of O.R.A. From this, Humper the Rabbit was born. The cute little rabbit Humper became the media tool necessary to spread the word of safety and restraint, aided by some simple guidelines easily learned: 1) Don't come together. Check with your neighbours too, stagger your schedules. 2) Check with your kids. Even a teenager working alone can cause falling masonry. 3) Take it easy. Restraint is its own reward.

CRACCUM March 8 1988 ► 3 T £ U lovely ladies at the National Bank found him so irresistable that he was quite overwhelmed by their generosity, as you can see. To FIRST YEAR PROFILE recover from this ev er-so-slightly unnerving experience, Gerald made This year we, the editors that is, his way to the cafe for a banana, thought it might be a good idea to but, horror of horrors, they were all do a profile on a random first year out! Suffering an instant anxiety at­ varsity student. We caught up with tack, which the staff tried in vain Gerald during enrolment and, being to placate, Gerald decided that a sensible alternative might be to a friendly and photogenic in­ EXIT TO RECREATION dividual, he readily agreed to be our sample the local ale. Luckily, as we CENTRE subject. Gerald has only recently all know, finding the student bar is arrived from ov erseas to take up incredibly simple. As he was his David Attenborough Scholar­ casually supping his pint, Gerald ship for Advanced Primate was engaged in conversation by a Research, awarded to him for com­ group of young men who had ob­ ing top of his whoop at Treetops viously been there for some time. High School, and he was very One of them appeared to be wear­ pleased to get the chance to travel ing only a sheet and, before he fell abroad. Fortunately for us he chose asleep on a chair, kept twittering on to come to Auckland. This may, or about something called a Roman may not, have anything to do with Legion and something else called a chance encounter with one of our Scullopoly, both of which appeared lecturers, Dr Gary Tunnell. to have something to do with drink­ Having had no prior warning, Dr ing large amounts of beer. Gerald Tunnell was somewhat surprised couldn't help noticing that these when Gerald turned up at the An­ men continually made strangely thropology Dept to enrol in 03.207 familiar grunts and whistles ap­ Human Evolution. Gerald howev er, parently directed at the younger took all this in his stride, although females present. He admitted he he did mention that the room be­ was shocked by this behaviour. 'If ing used was rather stuffy what I'd done that in my whoop back with having a roof and all. Despite home I'd have been flailed with a some difficulty with the language, large branch at the very least' he he had no trouble in making friends expostulated. with the staff and fellow students This is where we leave Gerald for at all the various departments at the moment, so that he is able to which he enrolled. Said Gerald settle in to the lecture routine. But 'Because everyone is so bald it is please remember, if you see a much easier to differentiate bet­ rather tall, good looking gorilla ween the sexes, a problem which about campus don't hesitate to go has led to some embarrassing up to him and have a chat about situations'. whatever takes your fancy, give him Friendliness can, however, have i a banana or something. He has told it's drawbacks. As with most us that he likes to go to parties, enrolees, Gerald was offered many especially as it comes in very useful handouts by banks etc., but the for his cause of study.

On Sunday the 28th of February the day. More than a few crews ig­ the First Annual Dragon Boat nored the lane restrictions and had Festival, this year sponsored by excursions back and forth across Lampen and in association with Air the course, while a few obviously New Zealand and Cathay Pacific, decided it was too warm and took was held on the Auckland water­ a dip in the sea. It was rumoured DRAG G IK front between Wynyard Wharf and that these actions were actually in­ Hobson Wharf. Over 70 crews rac­ voluntary, but everyone was having ed along the 500 metre course, such a good time that this is a each with 22 paddlers, a drummer questionable conclusion. (to try and keep the paddlers in Apart from the races there were time) and a 'sweep', or steerer who many other entertainments and ac­ 8 0 A T tried, frequently in vain, to keep tivities around the course. The them going in a straight line. Com­ most spectacular of these was the petition began at 9.00am with 20 sky diving display by the R.N.Z.N. teams in the mens, 40 in the mix­ during the break in the racing just ed, and 3 in the womens. There before midday. All the sky divers HA c e 5 were also several teams in invita­ landed in the intended place, ie in tion races, unfortunately an the water in front of the finish area, overseas team from Iowa was a couple even bailing out of their unable to make it to the start line. shoots 20-30 feet above the water. The overall winners were: Among the other entertainments Lawson Construction in the mens, were Chinese Dances, Tai Chi their prize being a week in Hong demonstrations and stilt walkers. Kong to compete in the Interna­ The singers included such well- tional Dragon Boat Festival in June; known names as Sonny Day, Fletcher Industries in the mixed, Hattie St John and Beaver. whose prize is to represent N.Z. in Another important part of the the Australian Bi-Centenary festival was the food stalls in the celebration in Sydney this April; Hobson Wharf sheds which were and the womens won by Lampen doing a roaring trade in Dim Sims, Ladies whose 'prize' was a great Won Tons, Chow Meins, fresh deal of applause, the knowledge sweetcorn and fresh fruit as well as that they would have held their own others where the crowd was so against many of the mixed teams deep it was hard to tell what they and the hope of more competition were selling. and better prizes next year. All the All in all a very festive and ex­ teams who failed to make it to the tremely popular occasion and very semi-finals or finals competed in appropriate in this Chinese Year of special plate or plate races so that the Dragon. everyone got at least 2 races for

4 ◄ CRACCUM March 8 1988 UNIVERSITY St eD TO CAPACITY

The student roll of the University of Auckland had increased by 843 students over the same time last year when the first term began today. 'Thus the final 1988 roll should be around 14,400', said the Vice-Chancellor, Dr C.J. Maiden. The largest increase has been in the Facul­ ty of Commerce with final numbers of around 2,500 students (2,100 last year). Numbers also increased significantly in Arts and Law. 'Despite the increased roll many hundreds of applicants have been turned away, par­ ticularly in Commerce, and the situation is of, increasing concern,' said Dr Maiden. 'The Princes Street site cannot take many! Imore students unless additional buildings and [teaching resources become available. For in­ stance the Student Union was designed to ] cater for 7,500 students and present Library! facilities are adequate for about 11,500j (students. 'The demand for University education in [Auckland is bound to increase,' said Dr ’Maiden. 'Auckland's continuing growth, New [Zealand's relatively low participation rate in [University education compared to similarly [developed countries and the need to increase [the proportion of Maori and Polynesian [students all point to significant increasing) Ifuture demand. 'At the moment Aucklanders are severely [disadvantaged in their access to University [education,' said Dr Maiden. 'Nearly 6,000| [Aucklanders are enrolling at southern univer­ sities and the University of Auckland is turn­ ing away increasing numbers of applicants! [with adequate qualifications. 'There is an urgent need for the University] [Grants Committee and Government to deter- [mine how they wish to fund an expanding (University system in Auckland in the future.'!

n crews ig- ns and had )rth across / obviously n and took they will still be able to apply for Have you ever seen an engineer t rumoured ENGINEERING STUDENTS ARE membership of the Association.' grants under the conditions they as a club member, participating actually in- REVOLTING This is known as having your cake in university sports events, or at a was having and eating it too. are imposing. FORGETFULNESS concert? t this is a Do you remember the coup in NO DISCIPLINE The engineers have failed to Have you ever seen an engineer i. Fiji? The Auckland University 2. Engineering students wish to realise that they will have to deal listen to Campus Radio, or read there were Engineering Society (AUES) are be exempt from the disciplinary with GST, they will need to affiliate Craccum? nts and ac- planning a similar event - and it regulations of AUSA, should they to the National body NZUSA, that Have you ever seen an engineer >urse. The is ordinary students that they are commit an offence within the they will need to affiliate to at the Maidment? se was the trying to rip off. Engineering School. AUSA has NZUSU, to participate in sporting Have you ever seen an engineer ie R.N.Z.N. Today, Friday 4th March, the the power to extract a fine of $20 racing just Student Associadtion Secretary plus costs. The engineers are events, and join NZSAC to attend use the Counselling Service, or sky divers received a petition calling for a notorious for 'Capping Raids' in any concerts on campus. This the campus doctors? place, ie in Special General Meeting of the which they storm lecture theatres alone will cost them $10.20 (plus Have you ever seen an engineer finish area, Association to consider the and attack students. Women GST!!!). assisted by our Disabled Students Officer when they break a leg? ut of their following amendments to our students are particularly at risk. WHAT TO DO The engineers are usuing pro­ Have you ever seen an engineer the water, Constitution. The Constitution is The engineers are seeking im­ cedural methods to benefit collect a bursary cheque? rtainments the document that lays down the munity from discipline. >, Tai Chi powers of the Association, sub­ NO CONTROLS themselves. They will succeed Did you know that engineers are It walkers. ject to legal requirements. The 3. AUES wishes to be a separate through weight of numbers, and represented at Senate, Faculty, >uch well- Engineering students are attemp­ body, which does not have to af­ self-interest, unless ordinary and Disciplinary Committees by students refuse to let themselves AUSA? inny Day, ting to make the following filiate to AUSA. This means that be taken advantage of. These Did you know that AUSA fights for ver. changes: they do not have to meet re­ proposals are going to our engineering students that have art of the quirements such as - Solicitor to determine whether been excluded from University? alls in the HALF FEES a) Non-racist, non-sexist policies they are legal. If they are, a Have you ev er seen a university hich were 1 Half of the subscription to AUSA b) Not discriminating against meeting time will be set. This may student get a part-time job Dim Sims, will be given to AUES. Most of you members be at the time of our Autumn through AUSA? ins, fresh paid $60 for the benefits of the c) Rights of appeal to SRC, Ex­ Student Association, engineering ecutive and General Meetings General Meeting on the 23rd If the answer to any of these as well as March. If you don't want to be d was so students only want to pay $30. This should be of concern to the questions is yes, then ask yourself, taken for a ride, you would make what they That means that all other students engineering students themselves. why should engineers get all the will have to pay an additional They will cut themselves off from sure you were there. Consider the benefits that AUSA provides and following: e and ex- $30.00 depending on the all the protection AUSA offers has fought for over many years, number of engineering students. clubs, leaving them at the mer­ BENEFITS but at half the cost? l and very Have you ever seen an engineer Furthermore, adding insult to in­ cy of an autocratic executive. All the benefits and half the se Year of use the Cafeteria? jury, despite paying half fees, Of course, the engineers will still cost? engineers wish to 'retain and ex­ be able to extract more money Have you ever seen an engineer Do you think that is right? ercise full normal rights of out of other students because use the Recreation Centre? Remember your vote counts! CRACCUM March 8 1988 ► 5 SUNGS AND ARROWS

THE NISSAN WAY OF REACTION TOYS THE WHAT A STEAL! DRIVING WORKERS LATEST 'State-owned enterprises are up Under pressure from the I am very impressed with the for sale. Government monopoly will employers and union, members of latest two RosS Meurant baby toys. make way for the small investor.' the Engineers' Union at Nissan in The first one just has to be press­ That was how privatisation was Wiri recently accepted the in­ ed and it will shout: 'Move, move, sold to the New Zealand public. The troduction of a harsh union-busting move me into Parliament!' Then it Labour government did not tell us method of team work known as takes each foot in turn and puts it it would 'gift' the assets to big 'The Nissan Way'. in its mouth, shouting first: 'Maori monopoly capitalists. Quality control circles are form­ radicals, ugh!' and next: Take the 'sale' of N.Z. Steel: In ed where workers are divided into 'unemployed, ugh!' the eighteen months prior to its teams of around 9 or 10, ostensibly The second is even better. Just sale $2.7 billion was invested in to maintain the quality of the pro­ press it and it will shout: 'I love the N.Z. Steel. It was then sold to Flet­ duct. In practice the circle becomes rich, I hate the poor; I hate our cher Challenge for a mere $327 a way of detecting dissent and stif- leader even more!' It then squirts million. As if this was not enough fling worker militancy. The circles out water from behind its ears. of a bargain, Fletcher Challenge will are made to compete with each Both toys work much better after receive an extra $800 million in tax other. 'Those injured on site... tend they've been run in. rebates over a two year period. not to file accident reports since A similar bargain was struck by that would reflect badly on the British Gas which was to receive a team leader and the circle. People 70% stake in Petrocorp for $810 work the overtime, forsake the million. Last year the government vacations due, turn up while feel­ pumped $800 million into ing sick to avoid letting down their Petrocorp that meant the corpora­ team-mates or displeasing the tion had a projected profit for 1988 team leader.' (NZ Listener 19.9.87). of $100 million. (Sunday Star Here's a message to those at the 21 . 2 . 88 ) Wiri plant: As well British Gas was to claim up to 1 billion in tax deductible losses in its first year resulting in a Arse-Ho! $300 million tax rebate, which will offset nearly 40% of the price paid. Listen, Nissan - (NZ Herald 20.2.88) Here's a tip-off: At the time of writing it seems Your new industrial system's a rip-off. that opposition to overseas owner­ It turns workers into zombies overnight, ship of Petrocorp has curtailed the Much to the bosses' delight. deal. Brierley or Fletcher Challenge Although the Engineers' Union has endorsed it, It's simply horse-shit. now look set to be the main con­ Motto of Stephen Decatur, early It's not something that workers should kiss on, tenders. But fundamentally there is US naval hero: 'Our country, right no difference between any of It's something that they should piss on. or wrong.' them. They are all multi-nationals Motto of the CIA: 'Our country, that plunder wherever they can for wrong.' their own profit. INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAV Today is International Women's The first International Women's than fifteen years after the pass­ invariably the most exploited. Day. Day was celebrated in 1911, in ing of equal pay legislation in this Just as men must be prepared to On March 8, 1857 a large many countries, centering country, over ten years since the lose their power and privilege to group of women working in the around the call for the vote, and Human Rights Act, and absolute­ gain true equality, so women of clothing and textile industries, succeeded beyond all expecta­ ly yonks since women got the 'status' races (i.e. white women marched in protest at the pitiful tions. The day developed a tradi­ vote. here) must find ways to help their wages and horrendous condi­ tion of protest, reflecting the Today the struggle continues sisters achieve equality, and tions they endured. The sweat­ rememberance of the New York continues. There is a basic ack n o w led g e that this shops of that time had working march. The demands continued. universality in their struggle to necessitates a transfer of power days up to 20 hours long, in poor­ In 1914, German socialist feminist change this. The modern issues and privilege... ly lit, cold, and crowded condi­ protested the surge to war. There are many, as were those of the Women continue to work a c ­ tions. The protestors dem anded were arrests and police attack in­ suffragettes. Education and con­ tively, here and overseas, to equal pay, the right to vote, the juries. World war one saw a m a­ ditioning. Gaining control of their ch allen g e sexist and racist legislation against the exploita­ jor loss of momentum as bodies. Sharing reproductiv e systems of all political colours. tion they suffered in the fledgling everyone got on with the roles (i.e. childcare). Coping with Women's day is an ideal time to capitalist economies. Moving slaughter: men killing and and fighting back against sexual look both behind and ahead to from the factory slums, they were women supporting in production violence, physical or otherwise. the struggle for liberation. charged by police. Many were and 'non-combat' roles. A Gaining recognition of the arrested. Some were trampled. notable exception was the 1917 value of reproduction. Increasing Kia Kaha, nga Wahine In 1908, the March was re­ Petrograd protest against war - awareness of the power of Women be strong. enacted. Women led the march induced famine, again led by language. Learning to share and of thousands, calling for the vote, women, and numbering 90,000. support each other. Demanding an end to child labour, and im­ The sixties saw a major revival genuine equality in the Some activities Today: proved living and working con­ of (among other things) the workplace. Searching for alter­ BFM is having a women's music ditions. A year later, the US Na­ observance of the Day, as natives to male systems. The list day and will be using women tional Women's Day was held, feminism grew in response to the goes on. newsreaders and D.Js. The Trade and in 1910 Clara Zetkin propos­ sex - blind leftist groups. The Fundamental to the struggle is Union Centre in Great North Rd is ed at the seond international recognition then, as it is now, was the recognition that, among opening their bar at 5.00pm, all congress that an International that women are still oppressed women, some women are worse women are invited. Women's Day be set up, and call­ and discriminated by a male off than others. Colonialism is still At 6.30pm they will have guest ed for socialist parties to dominated society. Just look with us in Aotearoa/N.Z. Of all speakers including the N.Z. recognise that gaining the vote around you. The positions of m a­ sex/race groups, Maori women delegate to Moscow Women's was vital in ending the oppres­ jor influence, control, and wealth lie at the bottom in the 'objective conference. sion of women in all spheres of are filled by an overwhelming statistics. Worldwide indigenous The video 'Babies and Banners' life. predominance of men. It is more and migrant women are almost will be shown. 6 ◄ CRACCUM March 8 1988 THE TIME HAS COME The classic 'Power and the Passion' took the that people lived in Australia before their Midnight Oil at the 'Big Top', Friday audience by surprise, as the band used a dif­ ancestors arrived. In this, Garrett is a different ferent introduction to the studio version. Once Feb 26. type of Australian, as his demands for more the audience caught on and recognised the recognition of aboriginal rights reveal. The 'Powerful' is the word that springs to mind tune, they were overflowing with enthusiasm. return of Aboriginal land to its original in­ when recalling this performance. Peter Gar­ So much so, in fact, that Peter Garrett didn't habitants is the major theme of the 'Diesel and rett's hyperactive stage presence was match­ need to sing the chorus, as hundreds of eager Dust' album. Past albums of course reflect ed by his explosive band. As Garrett shrieked singers collectively exercised their vocal Garrett's strong anti-nuclear views, which and gyrated with the microphone, the music chords. have not diminished at all. would hum quietly, then pause momentarily The encore saw the current Oils favourite After enthusiastically leading the musical before igniting the dynamite drums, guitar, and 'Beds are Burning' performed magnificently. charge for two hours, Garrett may have been synthesiser. Midnight Oil are a rare band, in that their live forgiven for having a throat as dry as a dead The selection of music covered most of the performances actually sound more impressive dingo's donger. new 'Diesel and Dust' album, and a fair whack than their studio versions. While most bands The only dingo on the stage was offering no of the classic '10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1'. A cou­ struggle on stage to recapture the sudio comment however, perhaps wisely so. ple of tracks from 'Red Sails jn the Sunset' wizadry that enhances their sound, the Oils All in all Midnight Oil, ably led by Peter Gar­ were displayed, most memorably being 'Best are infinitely more inspiring when seen live. rett, inspired the crowd with a performance of Both Worlds', which was the most electri­ Between songs, Pater Garrett gave short vaguely reminiscent of the nuclear explosions fying performance in a high voltage evening. speeches. He told the crowd he was proud to Garrett is so opposed to. Don't miss them next 'Best of Both Woods' saw many sections of be an Australian, and that although Australia time. Question for the week: How can we the crowd dancing frantically, jerking limbs had made many correct decisions, its history dance while our world is turning? and waving arms, imitating the high speed also reveals many mistakes. Sydney's robot style of Garrett himself. bicentennial revellers try to conveniently forget Alf Alfa

RICHARD RODNEY BENNETT Maidment Theatre March 10-12 Performing at the Maidment Theatre from March 10-12 will be the acclaimed English 'classical' composer and jazz pianist Richard Rodney Bennett. At the age of 51, his career has spanned music from opera, ballet, orchestral and chamber music to jazz, and has composed ex­ tensively for TV, radio and theatre. He is best known for his film scores, having been nominated three times for academy awards. Recent films include A Room With a View, Murder on the Orient Express, Equus and Yanks. These days he is a regular at a New York jazz club where he improvises on melodies of George Gershwin, Cole Porter, Noel Coward and others. Though brought up and trained on classical music, he is now more jazz oriented, this having more opportunity for improvisation and personal interpretation. His performance includes singing and he en­ joys audience inter-reaction, his voice being once described as 'a tenor saxaphone that sings'.

PAINTERS AND DOCKERS Gluepot where it costs $3.80 a Steinlager - (most expensive I've seen in town). They Friday 26 definitely need more airplay and have ap­ parently been on RWP. Their music sounds like Gluepot classically refined Australian Sex Pistols Punk, this band Painters & Dockers are as good as I was lucky, we arrived just before Painters they say, ragey. Recommended. & Dockers-started, and managed to stay up the front, still spaced out after Pink Floyd. LEAFY COOKY Painters & Dockers are a full on energy band that do strange things to audiences, I think everyone had a turn at jumping on stage and then diving back into the audience which could be described as a mass of thriving, seething bodies swaying all over the dance floor. People falling over then being dragged back into this mass of primeval energy. Painters & Dockers obviously don't mind au­ dience participation, they encourage it. Painters & Dockers stayed at the same volume - loud! It's good to see a four-piece Ludwig getting a hammering. I think they started with a happy comment. 'Okay, you kiwi bludgers, are there any students out there?' The lead- singer's laugh, red-haired Adolf Hitler look- alike, slightly overweight, head-tossing being, held together a big band tightly. Pure enjoy­ ment would be a good description of this band, good mates from way back. This band is choice, it has a three-piece trumpet sax­ aphone set-up, I also noticed heaps of changes of guitars throughout the two-hour show. Ap­ parently they're big in Australia, full house at

CRACCUM March 8 1988 ► 7 Shhhhh you shouldn't say things Feminists believe every woman like that in public, I mean what will should have the chance to choose people think, what if young what she wants to do with her life children are present. Frankly I'm and to develop her unique talents surprised at you, I always thought and skills. Here is what a group of you were such a nice girl, where did successful women had to say you pick up such language. I think about feminism and its role in their you could be mixing with a bad lives: crowd.

Feminism is one of those words that are often used and misunderstood, even feared. Feminists are not always lesbians but some lesbians do happen to be feminists. Feminists do not hate men, many feminists enjoy close relationships with men. Every Keri Hume: Author of Margaret Wilson, Lec­ feminist can be someone's mother, turer and ex president daughter, sister, or wife. Feminists Bone People of the Labour Party are women who want women and 'I'm a feminist because I'm girls to have a better chance to live. female, and females in my family 'Feminism means struggling on a They don't have fangs but they do have been the strong ones. It's as work to give women more control day-to-day basis to maintain my in­ simple as that. I won't say it's as dependence and integrity as a over there own lives. Many of the easy as that - anyone else recall be­ freedoms women enjoy today are woman. Also using my skills and ing told 'ladies don't run around like opportunities to assist other the result of the work of feminists that', 'ladies don't swing their arms of the past. women to also obtain when they walk', 'ladies don't yell' independence.' Feminists encourage women to etc? Or that girls don't get to use try anything and not be held back the rifle range, they get to do the by ideas about what is the correct gardens? Or that there's no point in behaviour for their sex. taking law, you'll get married in the Because women are under­ middle of it? All the shitty little put- represented, feminists have en­ downs that until the women's couraged 'affirmative action' pro­ movement became public and grammes which specifically help Cath Tizard: Mayor of strong weren't even thought of as women to come forward. A put-downs by their perpetrators. women's Appointment File has Auckland City Council They just made me wild. 'You can't been set up to gather the names of do that because you're a suitable women for government girl/woman' isn't a good logical boards and committees. 'When I was your age all I wanted to achieve was love and reason to a strong logically reason­ Women are held back in other ing child/adult. It doesn't make marriage and babies and 'happy ways. Fear of violence from men good sense at all, at all.' means we often limit our own ever after'. Mind you, I knew I'd freedom to try and keep safe. This need a job for a while between makes many women afraid to jog at school and my dreams. And I did night and some women are forced get married and I did have my love­ to leave jobs because of sexual ly babies and I was lucky!' 'Lucky' Debra Reweti, harassment. That's why feminists in that along the way I got some have worked hard setting up education and job-training so that Reporter on the televi­ refuges, rape crisis centres and in­ for my own self-respect and sanity sion programme Koha. cest shelters. By bringing violence I was able to earn my own living out in the open, feminists hope when I needed to. And that's what 'For me feminism is a way of life. social disapproval will bring an end feminism means to me. Having the I was brought up by a single mother to these abuses. choices in our own hands about our surrounded by strong women and Sometimes it's what's going on own lives. Equipping ourselves to I was always aware, through my in our own heads that stops us be able to make conscious deci­ culture, of the 'special-ness' of stepping out. If we've been told sions about the direction of our women. This is how I see feminism that women are empty-headed, ir­ lives. Getting women out of the Karyn Hay: Radio and - through the strength and pain of rational and can't handle respon­ 'helpless victim' role. TV Frontperson women. sibility, we end up lacking pride in 'Children don't need mothers all 'Also racism and sexism are so ourselves and confidence that we their lives. They grow up. Marriages 'Young women have to believe in closely related - springing from the can achieve what we set out to do. may not last forever. They end by themselves and do the best job same white, male-dominated We fear that men will not approve death and divorce. As long as you possible. If you think you can do culture, that it's bound to be for me of us and that we will be rejected live you need to have control of something, go out and do it. It's a lifetime struggle, a way of think­ and lonely. So we limit ourselves your life in your own hands and the worked for me. If you're prepared ing, believing and being that's been and put aside our dreams and best time to start this control pro­ to go out there and fight, you usual­ part of me since even before I was ambitions. cess is when you're young.' ly get it.' born.' 8 ◄ CRACCUM March 8 1988 O'»'

( m u s h i v JM

SRC REPORT Well, well, what an interesting start to the FOSTER’S years public politics. Our beloved chair Graham started with the usual speech including 'meet SHOUT the executive member', the standard perfor­ mance of accepting the minutes. Then the Taking apologies were accepted, including Mr 'now you see me, now you don't' Alan Parker, Reg, Carl's dressing gown, and A. Cabbage. First on the agenda was the affiliation of clubs which included the usual sports and Christian The groups, but also a rather more bizzare club , x m calling themselves 'the Jellybaby Pirates' who apparently wanted to sail about in the Hauraki gulf on a pirate raft they were building. Fair enough. But it seems our beloved treasurer Mickey ever intent on saving funds did not agree and gave a rousing speech on 'certain' clubs that , V /1 were basically screwing the association out of money as he called them. Well. Whether they were or not his efforts cedrtainly screwed the A mouse - like rodent named Ken beat five < 4 G E ^ pirates chances of being affiliated. Rumour other candidates for the £54 (NZ $142) a week has it they will try again next week in true job as student union president at the Univer­ pirate form. sity of East Anglia. And true to form, 'gone but not forgotten' Ken's owner, chemistry student Julian Watson did a marvellous speil on a video Campbell, 21, said he entered his pet gerbil as screen for Shadows. Great suff. But unfor­ a joke and was amazed that it had won the tunately the argument degenerated into 'who top student job at the University at Norwich should research the project' artd so the mo­ in Northeast England. tion really didn't go anywhere. The team of Ken, running on a platform of free beer and Watson, Herriot and Turner went on to pose soft toilet paper, polled well over a third of the Now that Orientation is over you'll be able a few more motions including a pathetic ef­ 1500 votes, beating his nearest competitor by to settle down and concentrate on your fort to have the 'get the best out of a student' 194 votes. studies or something like it anyway. If you advertisement discontinued. I mean, shit. I Ken celebrated the victory with sunflower realise you've picked the wrong paper then wouldn't lose any sleep over that. Still, ada­ seeds and a tiny tot of vodka in his water don't be afraid to change it and do it as soon mant their cause was a good one they con­ bottle. as possible. A lot of first years realise too late tinued and eventually won their motion. After Outgoing student union president Rob and by the May holidays they drop out. About that crap they went on to win a decisive Davies, 23 was not amused. 800 students don't sit their exams and it political victory by passing a motion to give The students have not taken the vote doesn't look good on their academic records the labour party the fingers because of the seriously' Mr Davies was quoted as telling the (especially for future varsity plans). If you've promises of bursary increase that were broken Daily Mirror. decided varsity isn't for you then withdraw of­ this year. I thought this one was particularly Ken is named after Education Secretary ficially and if you do it before the end of the brilliant as nobody could work out quite how Kenneth Baker, whose education reform bill is month, then you get all your fees back. they would 'give the fingers' to the Labour Par­ being considered by Parliament. Meanwhile bursary cheques are still a ty. Stick the offending gesture in the month away. The Govt hasn't really decided photocopier and send it off perhaps? Buggered how much to give us yet. Our NZUSA if I know. The prizes were awarded to Herriot representatives, Andrew Little and Ann and Wayne 'I ask the questions' McDougal. Webster, have put together a submission for The chair also awarded himself and the Phil Goff. It was decided to press for the secretary a chocolate fish. Overall it was a realistic increase of only $10 in the accom­ reasonably good meeting, but it dragged on modation grant. We believe this has a good a bit due to 'gee I can talk loud can't I' Wat­ chance of being accepted. It was feared that son and his sidekicks. Let's see if we can jazz being too pushy would result in outright rejec­ it up a bit next time and drag all you people tion. The reason why we picked the accom­ into voting for motions a wee bit more wor­ modation grant only was because we could thwhile. OK? hope to see you there. use Auckland and Wellington's acute housing shortage and higher rents as a good excuse. It is very difficult to change the mind of a Govt MP (if you can find it) they believe students at home should stay there and all parents should pay for them. As for the Hardship Grant, you should all apply for this grant: and put pressure on these & < 2 Ā r \q a people to give out more money. Feel free to come and see me about the criteria etc. R c x W i r \ e . N / £ r As for part-time work, we have what is call­ ed a part-time employment bureau. If you m e want a job or know of any jobs going then con­ S t o p p e d tact this office on the 2nd floor of the Student Union. Not far away is Shadows. Unfortunately this week has been plagued with an inconsistent tap beer system. Lion Breweries have been try­ ing to fix it. By the time you read this it should be up and running. If we have enough money we will purchase some more furniture. Easter Tournament is not far away. If you can afford it you should go. It's a great social as well as sporting event. See Gina (she's the one that hates the maths dept) now hiding somewhere in the Rec. Centre. Have fun and start planning those essays.

Raf (Richard Foster) AUSA President

CRACCUM March 8 1988 f » * .* What's behind the stockmarket As far as we know, no-one else worldwide financial crisis forecast a crash? made such an accurate prediction. full blown depression. In the September 7th 1987 issue More than this, it explained the basic The causes of depression were ex­ Craccum published an article 'The causes of depressions, that they are plained from the viewpoint of Marxist Economics of Disaster' that predicted crises of overproduction. 'The political economy. Events have prov­ the great crash of October 19th six Economics of Disaster' showed that ed the power of this viewpoint. weeks before it happened. It stated there was overproduction (relative to 'Into the Economic Morass' carries that the world stands on the brink of what the market could absorb ) in the exposition further. For those who another 1929-type depression (which agriculture and industry. The two con­ want an unadorned picture of our started with a stockmarket crash). verging and the added factor of a economic system READ ON!

The trade and budget deficits are symptoms The sharemarket crash of October 1987 All of the explanations given do not go beyond the financial crisis. As Engels describ­ of the insoluble problem at the heart of was a landmark. It signalled an end to the il­ capitalism, namely the fact that production is lusion of permanent capitalist properity and ed nearly one hundred years ago: 'The money market man sees the move­ social in character - that is it takes place in the beginning of the second great depression huge enterprises employing great numbers of of the twentieth century. ment of industry and of the world market on­ people who work together to turn out a pro­ The crash is not the cause of the economic ly in the inverted reflection of the money and duct or products; but their production is own­ crisis that is enveloping the world, but a symp­ stock market and thus effect becomes cause to him. I noticed that already in the forties in ed not by the producers but by the capitalist tom of it. In the nineteenth century it was owners of the enterprise. The productive commonly known that there was a business Manchester the London stock exchange reports were utterly useless for understanding forces of capitalism have outgrown the restric­ cycle of boom, slump, stagnation, recovery, tive production relations of capitalism. Social followed by another boom-slump cycle. We are the course of industry and its periodical max­ ima and minima because these gentlemen production is privately appropriated. But the presently in the period of a slump as the world expanding powers of production, through the economy spirals downwards. tried to explain everything by crises on the money market/ (Letter to Schmidt, Marx- use of science and technology, demand social Engels Sel. Correspondence, p397, Progress ownership of what is produced. The only way Publishers 1975). that can be achieved is by social revolution, EXPERTS - ONLY IN GUESSWORK The underlying causes of the economic by the working class taking possession of the crises are left alone because they touch on the means of production in the name of society. Following the crash all of the 'experts' in basic instability and historical transience Only then can the conflict between social pro­ nearly all countries were baffled and stunned the capitalist system. duction and private appropriation be resolved and the continued exploitation of class by by events. None of them predicted it, few have REAL CAUSE EXPOSED class and nation by nation be ended. been able to ascribe any rational cause for it. Economic depressions are crises of The chairman of the London Stock Exchange, overproduction. BATTLE FOR MARKETS Sir Nicholas Goodison is quoted as saying: 'The reasons for the worldwide market Why is there overproduction? Because the The nineteen-thirties' depression1 saw a stampede into protectionism. Tariff barriers crash would probably not be known for a long capitalist class, headed by the monopoly and preferential zones were established and time.' (NZ Herald 24.10.87) capitalists, are fiercely competing among today the low US dollar is acting in the same And local financial analyst Frank Bennett said: themselves for markets for their products, which they try to compel other countries to way. By making all imports to the US far dearer 'The big question, of course, that has to be take if they themselves cannot import and ex­ than they were before (as the lower dollar asked is just why did the wipe-out occur when does) a substantial tariff barrier is created. the international economy is in reasonable port freely. Over the past year the various central banks shape'. (Auckland Star 25.10.87) On a worldscale the US market is by far the have spent $100 billion to cushion the US Bourgeois economists commonly give biggest, and its market is saturated with pro­ dollar's fall. They are doing this because a col­ psychological explanations for the 1930's ducts from Europe, Asia and Latin America, besides its own production. Formerly, as the lapse in the dollar would be disasterous for depression, saying it came about through world's largest creditor country, it was able to their exports to America. However there is a panic and loss of confidence. So it was not limit to how much money they can pour into surprising to hear the same sort of reasoning finance a large surplus of imports over exports a declining dollar without jeopardizing their this time round. US Treasury Secretary James by its vast income from exploiting the Baker resorted to psychological explanations underdeveloped countries. Now that vast in­ own currencies. come isn't enough. Increased protectionism has taken more ob­ in an interview with Time magazine: Enormous sums were lent by the IMF and 'Q. There have been accusations that your vious forms too. The 'Four Tigers' mentioned the world banking system - particularly the US earlier are under pressure from the US. All of remarks about interest rates were ill-timed and - in expectation of further massive profits. But helped trigger the Monday crash, ls that so? these countries had substantial trade they overdid it. The goose could not lay golden surpluses with the US which is now deman­ A. What triggered it was not my remarks but eggs fast enough to pay the interest on its a front-page story in one of our major ding these countries revalue their currencies enormous debts. So the entire financial upward to make the Four Tigers products more newspapers. It quoted an unnamed govern­ system of bank credits has been strained to ment official, not me, and drew inaccurate expensive. When they refused the US the limit. Meanwhile, all countries want to ex­ withdrew the system of generalized conclusions from my remarks in a way that port goods (and the big countries, capital) as preferences established in 1971. could not but contribute to market ner­ hard as they can. Through intense competi­ The so-called 'Socialist Countries' (once vousness.' (2.11.87). tion - monopolistic competition - to expand socialist, now capitalist) are also entering the Another early target for blame was 'com­ their share of and control over markets, raw economic morass. From the time of puter trading'. On February 6th this year the material resources, cheap labour etc., the ma­ Khrushchev (when capitalism was restored) New York stock exchange banned the use of jor imperialists are throwing vast quantities of the Soviet Union and its satellites have program trading whenever the Dow Jones in­ goods on to the world market, and particular­ become heavily in debt to Western banks. dustrials move up or down 50 points in a day. ly into the main one, the US market. But fun­ With Poland unable to meet interest payments, (Herald 6.2.88) But as one IBM executive was damentally the world market is determined by and Hungary with a foreign debt of $6 billion, quoted as saying 'Computers don't kill stock the purchasing power of the masses of or­ the situation is not unlike that of Brazil and markets. People do/ (Time 2.11.87) dinary, exploited wage workers and peasants, A continuing target for blame has been the Mexico. whose living standards are kept to the China too is embroiled in the capitalist world US deficits: 'The hulking deficits are threaten­ minimum in the interests of high monopoly ing to sink the US economy. In just a twinkl­ economy, putting $153 million into the Hong profit at home and super profits from the Kong stock exchange during the October ing, between 1981 and 1986, the US has 'backward' countries abroad. crash. And within China there are now 6 stock metamorphosed from the world's largest Take the 'Four Tigers' - South Korea, creditor to the biggest borrower, carrying a net exchanges. Singapore, Hong Kong and Taiwon: All of them The battle for markets is worldwide. The debt to foreigners that is expected to hit $1 have apparently grown prosperous as a result trillion by 1992/ (Time 2.11.87) facts show that in the West the US, Japan and of heavy investment and construction of the EC are carrying on a bitter struggle for the While according to William Greider, author modern, technologically advanced enterprises role of imperialist top dog. Sweet words on top of 'Secrets of the Temple: How the Federal financed by the bigger imperialists, especial­ of the table, knives out underneath. Resereve Runs the Country' it is the Federal ly the US and Japan. But the prosperity is con­ Predictably the burden will be placed on the Reserve's determination to bring inflation fined to a small proportion of the population. shoulders of working people. As workers resist down that is responsible for the financial Wages are low, and are kept low by the the added hardships the ruling class will en­ crisis. (Time 23.11.87) capitalist-ordered armed force used against courage workers to seek scapegoats amongst More recently bankers have been singled the workers whenever they take action for im­ themselves rather than focus on the real out. Mr Hans-Joerg Rudloff, deputy chairman proved wages and conditions. Huge determin­ causes of their suffering. In New Zealand the of Credit Suisse First Boston Ltd., a leading ed strikes by industrial workers - and the use scapegoat most likely will be Polynesians. The banker in the international bond market told of state forces against them - in South Korea task of all progressive people is to fight the an audience of bankers and investment recently are evidence of this. No wonder trend to fascism. analysts at an international conference 'that South Korean manufacturers are underselling responsibility for the crash lay with them.; (NZ A further article will deal more specifically US goods in America. Herald 6.2.88) with the effects of the crisis on New Zealand. 10 ◄ CRACCUM March 8 1988 The Trendies are and fashion is direct and not par­ or white- wash. Each was more is an active mind. E ve ryw h e re ticularly subtle; you too can be expensive than it's predecessor Resisting the pressures of tren­ Closely related to (or perhaps popular, attractive, and happy if (and, I think, looked worse). And diness is, in effect, seizing power even synonomous with) the yup­ you dress the right way. each was snapped up by the over a part of your life which is pies, they're not just restricted to And media influence goes ever-increasing group of too often controlled by others. It the 'in' nightclubs, but also seem beyond advertising. Role models trendies. ’ * gives the ability to express to thrive on the rarefied air of the are often taken from T.V. pro­ The Cycle of Self-destruction: yourself in the colours, style, an d university. They range from the grammes. The impact of 'Miami Finally, the promotion of tren- combination of the clothes you well-heeled Engineering trendy, Vice' is only too obvious as an ex­ diness penetrates to a very per­ wear, rather than letting your with the conservative designer am ple, both on the streets and sonal level. The ideal is one of clothes dominate you. And I sweats, through the more up­ on campus. Music, especially in perfection. The role models are believe this allows true style, market Commerce trendy, with conjunction with videos, also has tanned, fit, and have perfect because your personality of your the top label washed denims, to a strong influence. Our male and skin, and all of these 'perfect' clothes become complimentary, the self-proclaimed radical- female heroes on T.V. and in the people have no trouble coping and so your personality liberal Arts trendy with more music scene present images we with the worries and pressures of becom es your style. 'radical' design clothes and ver­ like (or else they wouldn't b e our life. Naturally, such an ideal is im­ Of course, you also gain tical haircuts. So what is this tren­ heroes) and, very often, part of possible to attain in reality, but freedom from the dictates of diness? ls it just harmless self- that image lies in clothing. When the effect of its constant promo­ fashion, and the demands it indulgence? or is it something the media, for- commercial tion is all too real. A constant striv­ makes on your bank account. more?. reasons, promotes what it sees as ing for an impossible ideal can You can pick clothes you really the least offensive, middle-of-the- only lead to disappointment and like an d b e assured that you Pressure to Conform road heroes, they also promote frustration. And, of course, the won't hate them next year just the bland and conformist ren- 'solution' of dressing to succeed because the trends have Traditional analysis highlights diness which is so prevalent. is still dangled temptingly, and so ch an g ed . the importance of peer pressure the whole process begins again. And taking control of the way in creation of trends, and this is Yet, because the ideal is impossi­ you dress is not just a decision of backed up by the way trendies The Results ble to achieve, the cycle is personal significance, it's also a are almost invariably found in These pressures lead inex­ ultimately an impossible, destruc­ rejection and undermining of all groups. orably towards trendiness, i.e. tive cycle of failure. the social, political, and But the pressure to conform blind following of fashion. So we economic values which tren­ goes far deeper than this. Mass But nobody has to dress to con­ see mass lookalikes everywhere. diness represents and helps media sets the scene. Advertising form, especially at university, A classic example is the recent perpetuate. In their place, you presents young people having which is probablv the period of 'progress' of denim. Gone are get real control over a small but no problems coping with life. dary school and the workplace. the days when a pair of jeans important aspect of your life. They're clean cut, healthy, and were an acceptable (and Unthinking consumers are the dressed in the latest fashions. cheap) clothing alternative. First greatest asset the trendy clothing They're also predominantly white. c am e stonewash. Then ice wash. industry has. And the greatest Craig Dickson The linkage betw een popularity And now blizzard-, acid-, snow-. defence YOU have against them

CRACCUM March 8 1988 ► 11 CHAPLAIN'S CHAT

MORE BLOODY WORDS

I’ve got a problem! I’ve been sitting N.O.R.M.L.? Yes, the National marijuana has alienated many Anyway if you're not convinced down at this typewriter on and off for Organisation for the Reform of (especially young) people from the by now you'll just have to come and the last day or so, staring into space Marijuana Laws is alive and law and the police. How can you debate with us directly because the and then finding something else to do. flourishing at Auckland Uni. respect those parts of the law that (kind and wonderful) editor says But it won’t go away; I’ve got to con­ We've been active on campus you are not informed about when this article can't be too long. As a jure up some ideas and write a since 1984 and thanks to a brilliant those that you do know are so ob­ club Norml is dedicated to inform­ Chaplain’s Chat! That writer’s block committee (well maybe not viously false. In addition prohibition ing people of the established facts will be familiar to all students; if it’s Simon!), and the fact that many has never been successful in con­ concerning marijuana and of course not yet, it will be! people just don't seem to need con­ trolling substances used in a large having a very good time. Though vincing as to the merits of our population. The most obvious ex­ I'm biased I have to say that our It can seem, from the paperwork of cause, we're consistently the ample of this was alcohol prohibi­ dances are the best held at the enrolment to the year’s final exam, largest club on campus. This year tion which not only failed but vir­ University. We certainly try to that life at University is nothing more will likely be no exception. tually created organised crime. As uphold the cause. Nudge, nudge. So than a trafficking in words (or So exactly what is Norml doing. a counterpoint to prohibition come to the dances, join up and numbers). Thousands of them! Well we're trying to achieve the Holland has the most relaxed at­ help us make the authorities see Deadlines loom up and, whatever else decriminalisation of marijuana. Bet titude to drugs in the western world some sense. From the conclusion might take your fancy, regardless of you hadn't guessed, but and usage rates per population of of that wonderful South Australian your lack of ideas, you’ve got to chum decriminalisation is distinct from less than 1/4 of those in the U.S.A. Royal Commission 'The biggest out another assignment or prepare for legalization. The model we have This is consistent across a range of problem governments face in another tutorial or problems class. adopted is from a South Australian substances from marijuana to decriminalising marijuana is trying Words become cheap and the only Royal Commission and provides for heroin, which are freely bought and to explain why it has been illegal for beneficiaries are the silverfish. And individuals to possess up to 30g. sold with no police intervention in so long'. that process of cheapening continues Cultivation and possession for the Netherlands. Make of it what on out of the lecture room and into the supply would remain illegal (though you will but this remains a fact. Rick Steel for N.O.R.M.L. all night booze session. penalties could be reduced). If But there are those, and Christians caught with less than 30g then no among them, who hold the ‘word’ in criminal record and an instant fine high regard. Words, ideas, are the much like a parking ticket. Last year seeds of change. Writing and talking this was adopted as law in that are ways of refining ideas so as to make state. them fit to inhabit the real world. It Why should this be so? Well, now may seem an unduly idealistic thing a quote from Jimmy Carter when to say but, on that reading, a univer­ he abolished Federal Laws in the A note to University Students who like to sing sity exists for the transformation of U.S. regarding possession of small society. If students could retain some quantities of cannabis. 'I can see no sense of the value of their ideas, a reason to have penalties for a drug If the University choirs’ timetables don’t suit your own, you might consider the sense of the challenge implicit in all which do more harm than the drug AUCKLAND YOUTH CHOIR (ages 16 to 24) - a mixed-voice choir of about six­ those words, then that transformation ty, singing a wide range of music under enthusiastic conductor BRIGID McLAF- itself'. Most states still retain their FERTY. Meets every Thursday evening in Term-time, 6.30 - 8.30, in St Paul’s Church might gradually become a reality. laws against marijuana The most hazardous journey for Crypt, Symonds St. (handy to University). We’re not seeking solo singers, but we unfortunately. aim for a high standard. Some sight-reading ability an advantage. ideas is not from the head onto paper Putting aside moral questions like but from there to the world of action. people shouldn't smoke grass, OPEN REHEARSALS on Thursdays 3 and 10 March. There are two choices: your time at drink alcohol etc. at all simply University can be a very effective way because people do smoke grass Come along and sing with us on these two dates - of anaesthetising you to the power of and drink then why do the penalties without commitment! words or it can fire you up to do do more harm than the drug itself? something. Will all your wordmonger- Starting with how harmful is ing and number-crunching turn you grass from a medical standpoint:; into a placid servant of the status quo The Auckland Youth Choir Apparently it is at worst, no more sponsored by or will it awaken you to the possibili­ harmful than many socially ac­ Co m m e r c ia l U n io n i n s u r a n c e ty that things could be different? cepted drugs. Remember I did not say it is harmless or good for you, Contributed by D.V. for the A.U. just that we tolerate substances Chaplaincy which are more harmful. Not even the anti-marijuana lobby maintain The Butterworth that it is physiologically addictive. ______To a greater or lesser extent alcohol, tobacco, sugar, caffeine Bookshop Test and the tranquilisers prescribed by doctors in their millions are. Much was made recently of the Butterworths Bookshop sells all fact that T.H.C. (the drug itself) is stored and metabolised in body the law books that:- 5’mIfiliiTIi? 1 n *TIBB lipids rather than water based body fluids (blood). We were told this was why marijuana is so potential­ are set texts □ ly dangerous in the long term. Un­ fortunately the anti-lobby are recommended texts □ neglected to mention that vitamin A is metabolised through the same * chemical channels. Their logic sug­ give a useful background □ gests that we stop smoking grass and taking Vitamin AM The are fun □ speculation as to the longterm genetic effects of T.H.C. is just that: speculation. Marijuana has a have good recorded history of use in some societies of nearly 5000 years and student discount □ there is no perceptible increase in the number of blue 2 headed peo­ all the above M ple in these societies. Marijuana does contain tars □ similar to those in tobacco in con­ 'One of the funniest, most farcical situations I have ever seen‘ centrations up to 20 times as great. □Q Butterworths Bookshop - Brian Matthews, BBC Smoke too much and you may get Plaza Level, National Mutual Centre, MARCH 22 - APRIL 2 ,8pm MAIDMENT THEATRE the same respiratory problems as a Book it BASS credit card (09) 375-000 cigarette smoker, but this hardly Shortland Street, or BASS St James, Maximart - Manukau City, Glenfield seems a justification for making it ph 399-171 "Another promotion" illegal, does it? Why are the laws against mari­ Princes St By arrangement with the Festival of Perth juana harmful? Firstly suppressing r~

- Field Lane • • • • t We are here w’ fciutteutterworths i 12 ◄ CRACCUM March 8 1988 Auckland City Art Gallery

On February 17, the Auckland City Art Gallery celebrated its 100th birthday, but its centenary celebrations will con­ horrors. Even in these 'holy' NZXI - 11 Contemporary tinue throughout the year. Nine major exhibitions are plann­ NZ Artists scenes, Callot had an awareness of ed, and there will be 'open late' evenings on the last Thurs­ suffering and reality. Auckland City Art Gallery day of each month throughout the year. Open till 9pm, He covered the Thirty Years War Feb 17 - April 10 there will be a lively programme of film, video, lectures and in a number of horrific and violent tours behind the scenes. scenes, being one of the first artists Perhaps the most able of all ex­ to depict anything other than the heroism and glory of battle. Further hibitions to inspire and stimulate its (lecturer at Elam School of Fine to draw them closer. The free­ records of the reality of life in his audiences, is that of local art. Arts), Richard Killeen, Denis O'Con­ standing sculpture invites you to Despite their inability to attract nor, Maria Olsen, James Ross, and time include series of images of walk around it, view it from all hunchbacks and beggars. crowds of the magnitude that Boyd Webb. The artists were sides, and if you're careful, even visited the Monet or Canaletto ex­ described by T.L. Rodney Wilson His most famous work, The between various pieces. Dawson's Temptation of St Anthony is really hibitions, there is a definite (Director of A.C.A.G.) as 'eleven of 'Cause and Effect' takes the in­ worth looking at in detail. The ac­ popularity which follows each ex­ the most vigorous and compelling volvement of the spectator one tual subject of the picture is just a hibition. The power of New Zealand artists working in this country, or step further by firstly, creating an art demands an intelligent born and raised in this country and small detail in this etching of illusion in perspective, and then by theatrical grandeur. Full of copious response, and the consistent working abroad', and indeed, many allowing closer inspection, to reveal popularity of New Zealand art is an of these artists will already be well- figures, violence, destruction, the illusion instead of sustaining it. grostesquerie and fantasy, tiny indication that there is in Auckland known to us, especially those Without giving away too much, devil-like creatures pillage and a very sophisiticated awareness situated in Auckland itself. I hope this brief review encourages plunder, burn down a house, attack and appreciation of what we term Used to more 'traditional' exhibi­ as many Aucklanders as possible to 'Modern Art'. New Zealand art is tions, I must admit I was a bit taken each other and all sorts of little go and see the exhibition. The ex­ atrocities. It's just a pity that it's important to us primarily because aback when I first saw the works. hibition itself is free, and this great of its integral relationship with our Wow! was my first thought, and not on a larger scale, where it chance to see works by top NZ ar­ would become even more striking heritage, and of the traditions 'amazing' was my' second. The tists together, should not be miss­ and monumental in quality. behind New Zealand, but growing quality and standard of the exhibi­ ed. The exhibition is on the first steadily alongside this is our tion is exceptionally high, and spec­ floor of the A.C.A.G., and is running awareness of the quality of New tators will be struck, as I was, by from the 17th February to the 10th MAJOR 1988 EXHIBITIONS Zealand art, and its relevance not the originality and cleverness in­ of April, when it will begin to tour only to contemporary and future ar­ herent’ in each and every work. internationally. Feb 5 - April 7 tists, but also to art on an interna­ Various aspects of each artists' CALLOT - MASTER ETCHER tional level. work were indeed baffling, but even J.M. Priestley The NZXI exhibition was brought the novice art-historian or lover-of- Feb 17 - April 10 together to celebrate the 100th An­ art will be able to pick out common Feb 5 - April 7 NZXI niversary of the Auckland City Art symbols (such as an alcohol bottle Callot - Master Etcher April 29 - June 5 Gallery, which first opened on the signifying decadence, and bread EDWARD MUNCH - DEATH AND 17th of February, 1888. A salvation) or merely what the artist Currently showing at the DESIRE companion-book sponsored by the was trying to communicate. Many 100 prints from the leading Auckland City Art Gallery is the A.C.A.G. accompanies the exhibi­ artists do seem concerned with Norwegian Expressionist. tion and is thoroughly recommend­ making a statement, as well as work of the French etcher Callot ed as an intelligent and informative creating a powerful visual state­ (1592-1635). He covered two op­ posing sides of life - the heroic and June 16 - Aug ’ source on the artists and their ment, for example, Jeffrey Harris' AUSTRALIAN CONTEMPORARY glorious, as well as the downtrod­ work. The authors, Alexa Johnston 'Chance' 1985 (triptych). EXHIBITION den of the streets and the horrors and Francis Pound, present a Another factor that becomes ap­ 50 works by current Australian of war and violence. perceptive and enlightening ac­ parent is the use of movement - artists. count of what they feel the artist most notably in the sculpture and Among the glorious are a series was trying to communicate, with paintings. The vitality, dynamism of religious etchings such as the Passion of Christ and images of the Aug 23 - Oct 9 regard to each work. The book, and movement is evident in such a DUANE HANSON called 'NZXI' should ideally be read work as Neil Dawson's 'Swinging apostles. The Calendar of Saints is made up of several hundred tiny et­ j Large collection of American1 in conjunction with each artist's the Lead' (1986) or his 'Cause and 1 'realist' sculptor's work. work, and a copy of 'NZXI' is Effect' (1984-85) and in a painting chings, which on close inspection available in each room for this Maria Olsen's 'Night Vessel' jare actually quite interesting - many 1 purpose. (1986-7). Neil Dawson's 'Cause being scenes of murders, hangings, 1 As the title of the exhibition sug- \ and Effect' is particularly in­ jteeth-extractions and other such gests, eleven New Zealand artists teresting as it permits the spectator x^are selected. The eleven artists are: to view the work from all sides, Bill Culbert, Neil Dawson, Jac­ even underneath if you wish. At­ queline Fraser, Jeffrey Harris, tempts were made in many areas Christine Hellyar, Megan Jenkinson not to 'distance' the spectator, but

CRACCUM March 8 1988 ► 13 very well with his homegrown range of books, posters and stickers efforts. to put all over the place and increase The film versions of many awareness. The zine is put out by the Western political thrillers (such as Anarchists Alliance of Aotearoa, and is available by writing to them at this film adaptations of popular novels by the likes of Alistair Maclean, address.... Frederick Forsythe, and Wilbur Anarchists Alliance of Aotearoa, Smith) seem to take the attitude P.O. Box 78-104, Grey Lynn, that the complexity of the plots AUCKLAND, AOTEAROA. need to be reduced to as simple a it a technical device to help us slip It's a great zine to read and its usually got something for everyone. level as possible to make the film back into the 16th Century? Even­ viable. Often this descends to the Drop them a line or drop what you tually I opted for the last of these level of jungoistic Russophobia, want into Craccum and we'll forward options. such as the recent film of For­ BOOKS All in all, a splendid book which it for you. Read it. It's good for you. sythe's 'The Forth Protocol', 'No compelled me to finish it in less Way Out' is a notable exception to than two hours! 'The Marvellous Adventures the pattern. Not only has it been one of the biggest grossing films in of Cabeza de Vaca' Aidan-B. Howard the US lately (and after all, they're and 'Malinche' not all tasteless), but Donaldson by Haniel Long (1888-1956) has created a multi-level film; struc­ Picador Classics/Pan The State Adversary tured around a tight plot but with a lot of political Numerically, this is the first in the Pissed off with the system? The comment/observation. new Picador Classics Series of state adversary is the Zine for anar­ SUSPECT The major thematic focus is the 'great works by dead people'. chists everywhere, including articles power and intrigue of American The only thing I knew of this on the CIA, what London anarchists .Cher plays public defender, and, by direct implication, Russian work was that Henry Miller raves are doing and how to fight the Washington D.C. Liam Neeson plays politics, Manipulation, secrecy, ex­ about it - not surprising then to revolution. her client on a grisly murder charge. ploitation, power, and sex are all discover that H.M. himself wrote Craccum printed a few articles Dennis Quaid plays a juror who aspects of the 'game'. The white the pithy preface to this edition: a from the state adversary last year, helps Cher discover there's more to mens' club is dominant, and work­ succinct story in itself! and to help illustrate the sort of thing this murder than meets the eye. ing to keep it that way (watch out Just as Mary Renault had her fix­ that this zine has to offer, I thought Together they uncover corruption in for the most subordinate roles, the ation (many will say 'thankfully') I'd squeeze in another from this high places. Sheer (!) entertainment ones which really get the shit, with the Alexandrine period, Haniel months issue entitled 'Fuck!' with some great tension-filled cour­ which are invariably portrayed as Long was captivated by the con- troom drama. If you like a gripping female and/or black). quistadorial skinning-alive of -the yarn go and see it. Donaldson's camera roams over Americas. a variety of issues. One is the crass It is evident from reading this M.M. cultural insensitivity of the politi- brief n.ovel that Long's understan­ cians/diplomats in the scene in the ding of this period and milieu is FUCK ! N.Z. embassy (shared, I'm sorry to more than purely academic - after Perhaps one of the most in­ FATAL ATTRACTION say, by the majority of the cinema familiarity often comes dreaming teresting words in the English audience). Other things touched on and emotional exploration, seeing language is the word 'FUCK'. It is a In case you haven't already are the American involvement in ourselves as the characters we magical word which just by it's heard, this is dubbed as the movie Central America, the ever-present have just studied, raising them sound can describe pain, pleasure, to put married men off having af­ 'Big Brother' (both US and USSR from the dead, living their lives in hate, and love 'Fuck' takes it's sound fairs (well at least without having versions), and even playful phallic our minds and, if we are ex­ from the German word Fikan which their lover psychiatrically assessed imagery with the Washington peditious enough, on paper! means 'O Strike'. first). Michael Douglas' secure hap­ Monument. 'Your Majesty...', the book In language, 'fuck' falls into many py family life is turned into a living However, none of this 'comment' starts. The idea of using the form grammatical categories. It can be us­ hell by Glenn Close when she is forced. It's there to do what you of a letter to describe a novel's ed as a verb, both transitive (John decides that their weekend fling - like with (i.e. ignore or ponder). events is not a new nor uncommon fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary 'we're two adults' - just wasn't Even discounting it, 'No Way Out' idea, but the fact that the entire was fucked by John). As an adverb enough for her after all. is a great yarn. Farrell (played by story is contained inside only one (Mary is fucking well interested in Unfortunately, after hearing and Kevin Costner) is up against his letter is rarer. Long does it well. John), and as a noun (Mary is a fine reading rave reviews, this movie political masters in a situation When he says 'Your Majesty will fuck), and also as an adjective (Mary didn't quite live up to my high ex­ which leaves him fewer and fewer be aware that...', 'Long initially is fucking beautiful). As you can see, pectations. I thought parts of it options as the film continues. The refuses to allow the recipient (the there are not many words with the were a bit too predictable and character almost becomes too then-king of Spain) an opportunity same versatility as the word 'fuck'. drawn out, although I've since good, a boys' own hero, but to deny a vision - after all, what Besides the sexual meaning, there decided it was masterful manipula­ credibility is saved by his love for member of nobility really wants to are also the following:- tion of the viewer! Glenn Close's Susan (Sean Penn) and by his 'un­ say 'Well, actually I'm thoroughly FRAUD- I got fucked at performance however, is amazing. faithfulness' with a naval cohort in unaware...'? Then, as any avid the used car There is something cold and almost the Phillipines (and the double stan­ consumer of literature will concur, yard. sinister about her throughout the dard he applies to Susan's job as the reader (you and me) is enticed IGNORANCE- Fucked if I film that makes you wonder why private mistress of a Washington to become that monarch, to take know. Douglas's character couldn't see politician). on the same power of life and TROUBLE- I guess I'm her psychopathic streak coming The acting in the film is excellent, death, the same aloofness, but also fucked now. sooner. Watch out for Fred Gwynn particularly from Costner and Will the same 'obligation' to accept de AGGRESSION- Fuck you. (Herman Munster)'s brief tongue- Paton (Pritchard). The dialogue is of Vaca's visions and pleas. DIFFICULTY- I can't unders­ in-cheek appearance. On the whole a similarly high standard (witty as For those who wish to read this tand this fuck­ it's thrilling stuff but try and see it well), and the suspense is maintain­ wonderful little book, Cabeza de ing mess. before everyone else does. ed quite well throughout the Vaca means 'Cow's Head' and DISPLEASURE- What the fuck unravelling of the complex plot. The' contains an intrinsic play on the ex­ is going on M.M. much publicised twist at the end is, pression, 'cabeza de vacia', mean­ here? like Costner's character, almost far­ ing 'addle-brained'. Knowing this SUSPICION- What the fuck NO WAY OUT cical, but on reflection of both the does help the story-line. are you doing? story and the plot, manages to fall In 'Malinche' Long writes from ENJOYMENT- This is fucking Cinema One on the good side of the credibility the perspective of a Centramerican neat. boundary. woman from the same period as REQUEST- Get the fuck In which ex-pat Roger Donaldson In short, the film is a credit to 'de Vaca'. In a clever set of rambl- out of here! makes it BIG. Donaldson, the cast, and the crew, ings, allusions, tiny tales and obser­ HOSTILITY- I'm going to 'No Way Out' is a political thriller and deserves the success it looks vations, Dona Marina, as the knock your revolving around Tom Farrell, a likely to gain in this country. See it Spanish called her or Malinche as fucking head naval intelligence officer who is if you can. her tribe did, tells us of life in the off. drawn into the political machina­ And watch out for the ship battle-zone, as the lover of the SURPRISE- Well, I'll be tions of the US Defence Depart­ scene. It was filmed in the foreigner who is killing all the fucked! ment. Farrell, not surprisingly, Winstone quarry. beautiful people of her, EXASPERATION- For fuck sake! becomes a pawn in the game­ Xicotenga's and Montezuma's INCOMPETANCE- What a fuck playing of the Secretary of Defence, villages. up! David Brice, and his personal Finally, on a technical note, at secretary, Scott Pritchard. first I didn't know if I liked the large I know you can think of many Donaldson, best known in New lettering and broad spacing of the more uses, but with all these, how Zealand for directing 'Sleeping text. Was it a ploy to turn a can anyone be offended when you Dogs' and 'Smash Palace', had the 65-page text into a 93-page work, say 'fuck'? We can use this unique resources of the American film in­ which is always more saleable? word more frequently in our daily dustry behind him in bringing Was it as the result of a supposi­ speech. It adds to your style. Say together 'No Way Out'. However, tion that readers of works like this it loud and clear - 'FUCK YOU.' he does not seem to have been in may have trouble with the tradi­ As well as this sort of thing the any way overwhelmed by this and tional 8- or 10-point type? Or was publishers also offer an extensive has created a film which compares

14 CRACCUM March 8 1988 CAMOUFLAGE Limbs Studio Theatre March 10-13 8.30pm March 12 also 10.30pm ART

Mary Jane O'Reilly (ex Artistic Director of Limbs) presents a pro­ NIGEL BROWN gram of her works, with guest Frames of Reference choreography from Douglas Wright, the name behind Limbs' R.K.S. Art Gallery current attraction 'Now ls The 1-18 March Hour'. Camouflage shows her not last time it cracked only as an extraordinary dancer but i knew it was hopeless but :j also as a dramatic artist. The per­ i tried anyway with •: formance will include Aria - per­ clumsy strings and •: formed to songs of Shostakovich, sellotapes of words to stick :j and two works that are radically ^ove toSet;her with’ •: different in approach. The first, In­ my love and to make tro, is a fast moving, humorous whole again :• work inspired by the human ritual i knew it was hopeless but ;j of greetings, and the other, titled And Now The End Of The World, i ^ : K $ : ^ v i ^ $ i $ t h e pieces just kept :« has received highly acclaimed ^:^g^^y$^^breaking and •: recognition for its bizarre theatrical breaking and •: style. O'Reilly will be joined by a breaking. number of guest dancers in the so i stopped trying performance. left the pieces where they lay j i S ; p : i : M ^ S j S and slowly >v.v.v.v.v.v.v.\v.v.v.vwalked

8 8 8 8 8 ^ : 8 » knew it was hopeless but i . t r -£cj a n y w a y i l l i

SAFFRON CUTFIELD This is the sort of exhibition that everyone enjoys. Full of decorative symbolic paintings that are large, colourful and pleasing to the eye. A LAMENT FOR OLD AGE The works range in price from Light Attack $1,100 to $5,500 — a bit too ex­ The childs’ torment as Little Maidment Theatre pensive for the average student, painfully March 9-13 but they are of course free to view and... ever so carefully $15 waged/$10 students & and enjoy. bends his head unwaged before ^^w S888SSw 8888888888888< or $8 student standby. rolling forward and stretching upward All the paintings contain symbols concerned and sad fingers shadow his movements not Origins Dance Theatre present a and themes of New Zealand life. provocative interplay of light, dance Auckland is represented through touching but and sound, playing on the au­ One Tree Hill, Three Kings, and dience's perception of space, and Rangitoto; there are symbols of reminding him using sound, colour and movement Maori history and ties with the of his frailty. to evoke dynamic imagery. Dance, land; and there are symbols of slide projection and advanced Peace and Nuclear Free N.Z. sound techniques are brought In a show of pride he pushes away those that together to stretch the boundaries plunder of all three art forms. without mercy. The theme is the development There are basically two types of The smoothness of the skin that hovers painfully and journey of the line itself. Col­ works - his landscape/townscapes over him ours and marks are layered one on and his 'notes'. The former works around him the other creating illusory dimen­ of figures and/or buildings have suffocating his senses sions, sculpturing and defining the distorted perspectives and a vivid inspires a tear­ space and extending the audience's colouration which creates a misunderstanding the cause the child helplessly perception of the environment. mysterious emotional atmosphere. hopelessly Some of the music will be organis­ They are very linear with broad backs beneath its sliver of light- ---■ • " ” ed by Bruce Robertson (of Origins strokes outlining and often writing. he does not see that the body has failed before its time. and Playback fame) who you may also have seen at Orientation, and J.M. PRIESTLEY is controlled by the light itself. This The 'notes' are similar to gives texture to Paul Hewitt's elec­ Hieroglyphics. These paintings are tric and percussive sound. The many small pictures placed movement will be performed solo together in a grid pattern. Each THE CR SIS OF OU R IDENTITY by choreographer and Limbs total work has a dominant colour teacher Alison East. The visuals are and theme. Like his other works by Victoria Sheppard, who has had they are well thought out and As she sits the smoke several highly successful major unified compositions, contain sym­ currrrls drawing and light installation ex­ bols of N.Z. life, writing, and strong­ in ever-widening circles hibitions, her work once having ly contrasting colour schemes. I been described as 'almost strongly recommend you go have a Morose and sad eyes follow its path upward and outward holographic'. peek. fancying- just for a moment- her life reflected there before her.

A curious counterpart is found within the shallow and still-moving walls of he dispensing arcs. We are like... moths struggling to find the light bumping fluttering seeking -and then nothing-

Cast in the darkness we shiver and once more plunge toward a speck of lightj we know no better. I have the power to change it - she thinks inhaling again, casting the smokey tendrils high and wide. Her shakey hand rises again.

J.M. PRIESTLE1

We want your poetry..... bring it in to Craccun on the 2nd floor of the Student Union building or put it in our pigeon-hole at AUSA Reception CRACCUM March 8 1988 ► NA1 u m v E E s m 0 D Cri< O A the sec< a dr of t mar N.Z. end Joh use OUtJ fron 107 cen H joim treb bee atro seei an c ball LBV havi H » A « 2 » but « U N W Ê ^ w°g,gf£S ***£"»<* dov\ voc Ô" p2^' *cn°N: dec folk thal goo sho fielc play deli' $10 o ff $ 8 o ff $10 Off $ 8 o ff A LADIES CUT MENS CUT PERM HENNA COMB ON SEMI- thin TELEPHONE 771 869 & BLOW WAVE & BLOW WAVE OR HIGHLIGHTS PERMANENT COLOURS talk CUT OUT THIS ADVERT AND PRESENT TO OBTAIN DISCOUNT Cap thal thin ditic Van bee H tual favc x ! 0 0 = - A

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16 ◄ CRACCUM March 8 1988 SPORT NATIONAL

Cricket Cross Country

As many people expected from Sunday 28th March saw the the afternoon of the third day, the trials for the New Zealand Cross second cricket Test meandered to Country Team to compete at the a draw, the only interesting feature World Champs at Ellerslie, held of the last two days being how ovedr the championship course. many runs each of the individual The mens race, over 12,000m was N.Z. batsmen would score. In the won by Finnish visitor Risto Ulmala, end both Trevor Franklin (62) and with the first Kiwi home being John John Wright (49) again made Campbell (formerly Southland now useful contributions, but the Otago). This gave some justifica­ outstanding performances came tion of the view that many people from Mark Greatbatch who scored held, namely that he should not 107 not out for his maiden test have been left out of last years century. team. He did in fact previously He would no doubt have been compete at the World Champs as joined by Martin Crowe in reaching long ago as 1969. The rest of the treble figures if that player had not team with their finishing positions been given out to one of the most in the trial in brackets are: Phil atrocious umpiring decisions ever Clode (2nd), Tom Birnie (3rd), Chris seen in this country. All those with Tobin (7th) and Peter Renner (dnf) an end-on view could tell that the of Canterbury; Rod Dixon (dns), ball which supposedly had him Ken Moloney (6th) and Chris Pilone LBW could have generously said to (8th) of Auckland; and Derek have pitched in front of leg stump Froude (5th) of Wellington. Dixon but was very obviously moving was given exemption to miss the down leg side. Most of the crowd trail and Renner is suspected to vociferously disagreed with the have been suffering from sinus decision, including the avid cricket and/or blood problems. follower pictured who suggested The Womens race was won by that the umpire was 'missing a Taranaki's Lesley Graham who has good game'. Our other picture had a rapid rise in the national rank­ shows Ken Rutherford leaving the ings in the last few seasons. The field only 20 minutes later after rest of the womens team is: Sonia playing all over a rather ordinary Barry (5th) of Taranaki; Barbara delivery from John Emburey. Moore (3rd) of Wellington; Mary After the match the team for the O'Connor (2nd) of Canterbury, third test was announced the main Chrissie Pfitzinger (4th) of talking point being the omission of Auckland and USA-based Chris Captain Jeff Crowe. Crowe said McMiken who was also exempt that he would have done the same from the trial. thing in the selectors position. Ad­ The team for New Zealands first ditions to the test squad are Robert | ever Junior Mens team was given Vance and Stephen Boock who has to the first six finishers. They are, been recalled from retirement. in finish order: Ross Wolson Hopefully this time there will ac­ (Taranaki), Richard Lindroos tually be a result, in New Zealand's - (Canterbury), Jeremy Forbes (HB- favour naturally. PB), Michael Johnston (Otago), Richard Potts (HB-PB) and Glen Le Gros (Auckland). Hopefully this years home course advantage will help to improve the EASTER TOURNAMENT ATTENTION!! rankings achieved in last years Champs in Poland, where many of Hello again everyone, To all Easter Tournament goers. I ALL SPORTS CLUBS the team suffered from food and Right now I need a team of have booked 35 seats flying Ansett travel problems. volleyball enthusiasts (approx­ to Christchurch. The cost is imately 8) to compete in our BNZ $110.00 one way. For those of you Craccum would really appreciate all Athletics sponsored Easter Tournament. that are financially insecure a bus the info you can give us, or Sports Anybody who is willing to par­ fare will cost $30.00 one way. Officer Gina O'Shea, as we feel Saturday 27th February saw that many of our readers would like ticipate is welcome to join us in our So anyone wishing to travel at the greatest number of New to know what's happening on the venture. Remember the emphasis is these discounted costs should Zealand Allcomers records (7) Varsity sports scene. to have a go. come and see me immediately. A since the 29th of January 1974 We would also like more con­ minimum deposit of $30.00 is re­ during the Christchurch Com­ testants for the invitation events. quired and no refunds will be monwealth Games. Only one of Hopefully windsurfing will prove to available after the 18th March. - these went to a New Zealander, be a popular sport. Lincoln College Anne Lardner, who set a junior will provide boards etc. to those of Thanks, Gina O'Shea womens 1500m time of 4:17.19. you that do not possess your own. Appropriately enough in this The events for this are: Robin Tait Classic meeting 3 of course racing - racing on a the records came in the throwing triangular course events. Jud Logan set a new slalom - zig-zagging poles in a Hammer Throw mark of 78.62m, point-to-point course Jan Zelezny a new men's Javelin speed trial - straight line sprint Throw distance of 83.38m and event Livia Mehes a womans Shot Put Another liquid sport is water record of 19.05m. polo, and this event is being held at This meeting was initiated weuUiCMY H/W ÊW 0IW upon the death of Robin Tait, QE2 park. ITS GOST ME AN ARfl AND AIEG •' So peoples, come and see me in one of N.Z.'s most well known my office if you want to know athletes several years ago, with more. Anyone who wants to join the intention of fostering more this sporting contingent as a sup­ interest in field events, especially porter is also welcome but I need the throws. Apart from the inter­ to be informed now so I can make national events there are com­ appropriate bookings. petitions and training sessions Shark-Boy receives the Sebastian for promising junior throwers. It Gina O'Shea Berk Award for Water Polo. When provides an excellent opportunity Sports Officer asked how he found the opposition, for the best Kiwi athletes to he replied, ‘Delicious’. have international competition, something which is much need­ ed in Olympic year.

CRACCUM March 8 1988 ► 17 AUTUMN GENERAL AMERICA FIRST MEETING LIBRARY TOURS 1988 WOMINSPACE JOURNAL MEETING COLLECTIVE Guided tours of the General Library If you are one of the many peo­ We will be holding our first meeting ple out there who know what I for new students will depart from Notice is given that the Autumn the Library foyer at the following of the year at 1pm on THURSDAY General Meeting of the Association mean when I mention RuneQuest, 10 MARCH at WOMINSPACE. All Chivalry and Sorcery, Rolemaster, times: will be held in the main hall of the Second Week of Term 1 Womin interested in listening to, Recreation Centre from 1pm on AD&D, Traveller and many more reading or writing poetry and/or YOU (yes YOU) are invited to the Monday March 7 - Friday March Tuesday, 22nd March, 1988. 11 Short Stories, and/or drawing car­ first fun meeting the ultimate toons and graphics - are welcome. ROLEPLAYING club on the At 11.10am; 12.10pm; 2.10pm If a quorum is not achieved, or the Third Week of Term 1 business is not completed on 22nd Auckland University Campus. GYMNASTICS CLUB AMERICA this year is new, Monday March 14 - Friday March March, the meeting will commence 18 The Gymnastics Club will hold an revamped, revitalised and basical­ or continue in the main hall of the informal meeting on Tuesday 15 ly a lot more fun that it has ever At 11.10am; 2.10pm. Recreation Centre at 1pm on March at 1pm in B10 (in Library Wednesday, 23rd March, 1988. been before. So be there at 7.00pm basement) to inform people what on the 8th March in the Lower Each tour takes approximately 25 minutes. the club is all about. The agenda for this meeting will in­ Common Room (just above the The Annual General Meeting will be University Bookshop) for the first SCIENCE LIBRARY TOURS clude - held on Tuesday 22 March at fun filled meeting of the Academy 6.30pm in B10. for Middle Earth Roleplaying and In­ The Science Library will be holding 1) Consideration of the Annual Our club nights are Tuesday, Thurs­ Balance Sheet and Statement of dividual Character Advancement. guided tours commencing from the front desk at the following times: day from 6-8pm. Come along and Accounts for the year ended 31st have a go, you may like it! December, 1987; MEN AGAINST SEXISM First and second weeks of term: M.A.S. are holding a Men's Forum 11.10am and 2.10pm. CLUBS AND SOCIETIES All staff and students welcome. 2) Appointment of auditors and an at 7pm on March 10th at Newman NOTICES honorary solicitor for 1988. Hall (in Waterloo Quadrant just next to the Hyatt). All men interested in LESBIANS ON CAMPUS Societies Council _ Any member wishing to propose change are welcome. There will be a meeting in any motion at this meeting is in­ Womenspace at 5pm on Thursday 10th March. Coffee & Tea. All les­ 1. Notice is hereby given of the vited to give written notice of this MALE CHAUVANIST 1st Societies Council Meeting to the Secretary, so that it may be bian women welcome. REVOLUTION CLUB to be held on the Tuesday, included in the agenda. March 15th at 1pm in the FIELD CLUB Council Room (in the Recep­ Any member wishing to propose a Invites you to bee ome involved in FRESHERS CAMP tion area). motion to change any part of the a long awaited revolution solely 2. Every Club and Society on Constitution must give written against extreme feminists who Find out what Field Club's really all campus is asked to send a notice of the proposed change to haven't known how to talk to their delegate to this meeting. the Secretary by 5pm on Friday, about. Come with us to, male friends from day one. The club 3. Any member of a Club/Society 11th March 1988. once established will basically be a Tawharanui, for a weekend of fun. Fri 11 - Sun 13 March. Cost, only may attend and shall have social club involving: speaking rights but only the Agendas will be distributed at the Wine and cheese evenings $25 incl. food, accom (tents) and transport. Society delegate shall have meeting or can be collected from Debates the power to vote. the Students' Association office See out noticeboard for details, Parties, parties, parties! 4. Matters for discussion are: one day before the meeting. Dances or phone Kirin 608-993 or Jacinda 605-093. - the election of the Societies And other serious but fun func­ Council Secretary Pilar Alba, tions. We will be interested in your NEWSFLASH!!! - the election of two members SECRETARY support if you have an open mind. A video documentary on the to Grants Sub-Committee Watch for further details. - any general business or P.S. Definitely not only for males. 'Devonport Recycling Scheme' is EXEC VACANCIES being made for TVNZ and world­ representative from Clubs and Societies on campus WOMEN S HOCKEY CLUB wide distribution. The organisers Nominations are opened for the are looking for women who would - affiliation following vacant positions in the be interested in either crew-help, - Clubs and Societies day A.U.S.A. Executive: Trial for teams Sunday 13th March script-writing or on-camera - general business 9.30am, Epsom Girls' Grammar interviews. - date of next meeting MEDIA OFFICEDR School (Gillies Ave). For details ph Sarah King 456-202. 5. Please ensure that your club has at least one representative CULTURAL AFFAIRS OFFICER NEWMAN CATHOLIC AFTER A CHEAP attending this meeting. Coffee COMPUTER? and tea will be served, so SOCIETY CELEBRATION The Term of Office will be from the bring along your lunches. time of the by-election to 31.12.88. Well, your student reps on the All members are eligible for Newman Catholic Society are Senate Computer Committee have Affiliation nomination for any position provid­ holding mass and meal celebration been hassling the Computer Cen­ ed that their subscription has been on Wednesdays 6pm, $2 charge for tre for a cheap machine on which Affiliation to AUSA must be paid before nomination. dinner. to hammer out your essays. They renewed each year, your 1987 int urn hassled the importers affiliation will lapse as from 1st All nominations must be in writing resulting in an IBM compatible May 1988, if you wish to con­ made and signed by at least three machine (expandable XT) at around tinue to enjoy the benefits of be­ (3) members other than the $1,050 (depending on the ex­ ing affiliated to this Association, nominee. change rates). This includes 2 x forms are available from AUSA 360K 5.25'' floppy disk drives, reception. Please make sure your Nominations close at 5pm on Fri­ 256K RAM, 12" monochrome affiliation forms are in to Recep­ day, 18 March, 1988, and the by- moniter, 101 key keyboard, her- tion or Societies Rep for Friday election will be held on Tuesday and cules look-alike graphics, and a 25th March for the following Wednesday, 29 and 30 March, parallel interface. week's SRC Agenda. 1988. Software includes 3.1 DOS and Club Workshop many public domain programs in­ Pilar Alba, cluding a word processor. Enquiries Thursday 24th March 7-9pm in SECRETARY should be directed to the Computer STUDENT LIFE the Council Room. Come and Centre (just up Symonds St from sort out all those details on how SCHOOL OF MUSIC Combined Christian Groups' Orien­ the Engineering building). to run a club efficiently. Topics Orchestra tation Service. McLaurin Chapel, Limited printing facilities for to be covered include how to : Rehearsals take place on Mondays 1pm, March 10 Thursday). undergraduates are available at the - chair a meeting from 3.00pm to 5.30pm and Saturday March 12: Computer Centre and some depart­ - run a dance Fridays from 9.30 to 12 noon. Social: Mission Bay Bumper Boats, ments on a user pays basis. These - keep club accounts Vacancies exist in the Horn and Mini-golf and Swensens. Bring Bob are currently provided voluntarily - gain all those benefits etc that String sections. If you are in­ Charles shirts, change of clothes, and could easily be withdrawn if an affiliated club is entitled to. terested in auditioning please con­ and empty stomach for a big machines (and of course staff) Any queries please see Societies tact the secretary at the School of dessert. Also $10 - $15 would help. aren't treated with respect. Rep - Dave Stewart, Treasurer - Music, ext 7409. Meet in quad at 5.40pm or at Mini­ Wayne McDougall, or President - golf at 6.00pm (after tea). Your student rep. Richard Foster. 18 ◄ CRACCUM March 8 1988 CAT LITTER ALCOHOL ABUSE

Dear Eds, Dear Editor, At last Craccum is back! Yayee! It was well worth waiting for to As I write this letter an Orienta­ read the 'Spoof' on our E.V.P. I think tion Drinking Horn has been I can safely say that I doubt all the organized. By the time this letter is stains on his sheet can be at­ published it may well have been tributed to last years jelly-wars cancelled. Whether or not the 'Come' Drinking Horn Mark II. Drinking Horn has gone ahead, what I have to say however applies DEREK CRAIG - MAN OR A LONG ONE FROM A.J. Perhaps that explains why he was too busy to get dressed. Fortunate­ to all such 'festivals'. It seems to MYTH? ly he seems to have reverted to me that many of those students Dear Craccum, something resembling abnormality who feel uneasy about such ac­ Dear Craccum, This Government must be the and only appears to be on,some tivities have kept silent for fear of Speculation is rife as the ex­ most soppy liberal-minded homo­ sort of safari. Lord knows what he's being labelled intolerant, or as istence of the semi-legendary supporting hypocrites I have ever hunting? Perhaps this is an oppor­ moralists. This silence has been 'Derek Craig' is hotly debated. had the displeasure of living under. tune moment to advise all first taken as a sign of approval. Such Great pearls of wisdom allegedly Excuse the outburst but I am, of years of female genre to take a fears have kept me from saying uttered by Derek Craig have of course, referring to the recently slight detour around, instead of in anything up till now. course become part of the English passed by-laws concerning the front of, his office (via Mars or The attitudes towards alcohol language. For example, 'You're compulsory fencing of pools. some similar local might be safe!) Drinking Horns are strongly under a lot of pressure', 'I'm sorry ls it not bizarre that Lake Taupo Speaking of first years (and there associated with all sorts of ag­ to say Derek couldn't be here to­ and Waikato River residents must certainly are a hell of a lot of them). gressive, violent and antisocial day', and 'Shadows Flat Ale'. But fence their pools when there is an In regards to maintaining the behaviour. The suggestion that the point here is that although even bigger and more dangerous wonderful social harmony in alcohol abuse has no role to play in these are truly wonderous phrases unfenced pool not a stones throw Shadows I think it would be ap­ increasing the carnage on our roads there is no evidence to show that away. propriate if they wore large red and the violence in our homes be­ Derek actually produced them Where is the common sense in labels advertising their first year gins to wear a little thin in the face himself. I personally doubt that passing this hopeful bylaw in an at­ status. These could be worn in con­ of much careful research on the Derek Craig ever existed. As a foun­ tempt to save six young lives per spicuous places i.e. on their heads, subject. That such blatantly ir­ ding member of the one to one year when in the same time period so we, in a semi-happy state, can responsible attitudes and behaviour scale model club, I have built a life God's own country has approx­ see where to kick them when we should not only be condoned but size model of Derek Craig, which imately 1000 deaths from car ac­ want a seat. also actively encouraged is quite was exhibited in the CRACCUM of­ cidents and approximately 10,000 Well, keep up the good work stunning. I do not support such fice last year. Recent sightings may abortions? Craccum, if only because we need events. Am I alone in holding these have been of this model, not the ge­ Do we see the Government pass­ the paper for the cats litter box. views? nuine Derek Craig. I challenge ing laws to prevent abortions? No, anyone to produce evidence of but the fault cannot be solely with Griz Yours, Derek Craig's existence, and if they the Government, a large portion of GET REAL CRETINS Grant Simpson can do this, to tell me his shoe size. the fault lies with those of us who chose to indulge in sex and then Dear Grant Simpson, Interested of the basement toilets disregard the resulting child as a Boy am I slacked off at a lot of gift from God. I view an abortion as you mental midgets out there. I No. Angry of Rudman Editors reply: If Derek never ex­ being the equivalent of a pre­ have been told that Gina has been isted, how do you account for the meditated murder - except the vic­ getting heaps of shit from people yellow smell where his running tim is defenceless! because of a statement attributed socks used to be? Another pie these dizzy M.P's to her in the first Craccum, subse­ MORE MONOTONY have their fingers in is this business quently proven to be made by so­ Dear Craccum, of A.I.D.S. A lot of money is spent meone else. What really fucks me Last Thursday a Monopoly Game trying to stop the spread of A.I.D.S. off is that most of you terds appear was played in the quad. It was well GERALDINES MISTAKE but when will these social rejects to have assumed that 'Maths Dept organised by Bernard Kennelly and approved by the Orientation Con­ \ realise that to cure a problem you sux' implies that the whole Dept Dear Craccum, treat the cause and not the effects. needs a swift kick in the bollocks. troller as an event last year. At that I wish to apologise to the Editors Condoms and free needles won't If you would care to read the arti­ time Dia was aware that it was a of 'Transition 88' for my mistake in stop A.I.D.S., a shake-up on social cle again, you will see that students drinking event. (Her concern was saying that the magazine was not attitudes will have a far superior were asked to comment on enrol­ noted). It seems the Union posted out to students this year. In success rate. But this road is not ment, and they were asked as they Manager was not at all impressed previous years the magazine has taken because it's the harder of the left the Rec. Centre. I for one would with this event; it didn't surprise me been posted to students in early two. Wimps. assume that many, especially first- when she voiced her disapproval February and usually, executive My heart goes out to the 10,000 years, might not be in the best of during the game. What annoyed me members are called upon to assist unborn babies who are not moods. If you'd just spent 3 or 4 was that having allowed the game with this. However this year recognised by the high and mighty, hours wandering around varsity to be played, they then decided to (unbeknown to myself) the editors and as for the twenty A.I.D.S. vic­ and then dished out $200 then you interrupt it. The fact that the game in conjunction with the ASB, ar­ tims (yes! that's all there has been might feel the same way. If the pro­ couldn't have lasted much longer ranged postage of the Handbook, in N.Z. to date!), they can rot in hell. cedure at Maths was a little com­ appeared irrelevant to them. I was which should have reached all first plicated (I'm only guessing, I've pissed off especially as we were year students by now. never been there), then the com­ winning. Some people have voiced A.J. ment, in that context, would be concern over Graham Watson's P.S. Sorry about the length - 1 felt Geraldine Ryan justified, at least to the person who Drinking Horn. Executive decided to it had to be this long to get the said it. It would be nice if that per­ stop Wally from having it during PENPALS WANTED message across. son would like to reply via Crac­ Orientation week (they later chang­ cum, then maybe this whole ed their mind to 'During March'). bottom-whips could be cleared up. One of the reasons for this was that Dear Sirs, CRETIN ANSWERED In the meantime, lay off Gina you according to Dia 'There are enough Dear Craccum, crud, she is really a nice person Drinking Events already'? Your country is so remote and ex­ I was intrigued to note the yup­ who doesn't deserve all this poxy What the Executive does NOT otic for us Polish that I thought it pie J. Dwyer (Craccum, No. 1, 1 abuse. want is a saturation of drinking would be a splendid joy to have March 1988) attempt to claim that Yours malevolently events, many students agree. As far there a pen-pal. Just here is my re­ wimin have already achieved The Toksik Uvenjah as I am concerned one Drinking quest. Please try to find someone equality. That is exactly the sort of Horn a year is enough. I believe the among your staff or students who egomaniacal statement that we best time for that is during Capp­ would like to enter into cor­ wimin have been putting up with VENDELLA'S SWEETIES ing Week. respondence with me. from you fascist males for the past Why don't people just accept the I am a man of 31 years old, liv­ millenium. you penisolent males are Dear Craccum, fact that these are very popular ing in Koszalin (pop. 100,000) at a pain in the crutch. We are sick of Can someone help me? events and make sure they are run the Baltic seaside. My interests your smartarse attitude, and an­ I went to a party one night. Our properly with the minimum of concern everything connected nounce that we plan to begin a eyes met across a crowded room... hassles. Face it Boys will be Boys'. with evolution of the world, its positive fightback this year. Males I am wanting to make contact nature, so I can mention zoology, found disrespectfully speaking with with three beings, only known to Richard Foster geography, astronomy, religious, any female henceforth are liable to me as Fish Man (FM), Moose Man A.U.S.A. President philosophy. Moreover I like music, be kneed firmly in the balls. So and Gut Man - where are you my A Drinking Horn by any other name sport, viewcards, stamps. watch it guys, we mean business! sweeties? would smell just as gross. Ed. Kindly do your best. Honest! Really! If anyone knows the whereabouts of the above people If you would like to have a letter Yours truly, Love, you can contact me through published in Craccum, please type Zbigniew Sienkowski Witchity the Cat Craccum. or write it VERY NEATLY, double ul. E Plater 2c/44 spaced, and try to keep it less than Yours, 75/348 Koszalin 200 words. And please don't give Vendella us anything that might get us in the shit!

CRACCUM March 8 1988 ► 19 Book Vouchers.

Your name goes into a draw to win book vouchers. With a total w\ prize value of $3,500.

Tee Shirt.

So you don’t forget what year it is, a quality ‘Orientation 88’ tee shirt.

Pen and Ruler. Year Planner. Another pen and ruler because you’ll never Know where you are and have enough of them. where you ’ re going with this comprehensive year planner.

Clipboard.

A useful clipboard to hold all those notes together.

You’ll come out with more than free banking when you open an ANZ student account.

As a full time student, you’ll no doubt have and an interest-free $500 overdraft. In addition to your hands full. low interest loans and a free and easy That’s why we’d like to help carry some of your Autobank card. financial burden. And throw in a few extra freebies Not forgetting all the free items you see on top. above. So come on in and have a chat. Apart from not having to pay any bank We’ll definitely make charges, we’ll give you free automatic payments it worth your while.

Book voucher and gift offer closes 5 March 1988. J

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