ISSUE 7 / VOLUME 19 14.02.06 Mens Fashion Freedom of Speech Whats hot and When is it funny and whats not when is it offensive ? PAGE 18 PAGE 11

Lost Causes? Sabbatical elections special 12>

ADMIN BUILDING College back down on modularisation

In an unprecedented u-turn, College Authori- KAREN O’CONNELL ties have backed down and agreed not to roll- out Modularisation and Semesterisation to in- holding of information.” clude current second year Arts students. While going on to say that the decision would The decision came in the aftermath of a vigor- mean “there isn’t radical change but at the same Students 1 ous campaign encompassing the Students’ Union time it’s presented in a kind of modularised way and second years and has been hailed as a mas- that it’ll allow everyone to register the same way. sive victory for the students of UCD. It’s simpler, that will be one of the advantages.” Students’ Union Education Offi cer, Jane Hor- The battle began last year when the university * gan Jones, who was instrumental in the cam- decided, without students’ consultation, to imple- paign, expressed her pleasure at the result and ment a strategy that would affect all of the schools stated “It goes to show what people can do if they and colleges within the university. Suits run a concerted campaign for the whole year. The proposed plan would have involved major 0 “I’d love somehow to go back in time in a ‘it’s a changes to existing second year students fi nal (*After Extra Time) wonderful life scenario’ and see what would have year. The plan intended to implement Christ- happened if we’d never put up a fi ght, and I think mas exams for next year’s fi nal year students, n NO new grading scale what would have happened is students coming to change the current exam grading format and back to second year exams without even been an introduction of second year students to third told about it. year programmes to facilitate the modularisation n NO change in rules used “Fair play to everybody who was involved in the of courses. campaign and we just have to make sure its fol- The plan caused much angst and frustration to award honours lowed through on now because as we all know amongst students and staff alike. Many senior they’ve gone back on their word before, although staff members also expressed their frustration and I don’t think they’ll be as quick to do it again.” anxiety at the lack of information made available n NO horizons electives However, Vice president for students Mary Clay- to them regarding the structure of the new modu- ton, defended the length of time it took to make a larised courses. The feeling expressed by each decision, “it takes time because the schools are department echoed the general anger n NO Christmas exams designing their year, it certainly wasn’t the with- and frustration felt by current students. 2> College Tribune 2 THIS WEEK 14.02.06 14.02.06 Students 1 Suits 0 1 2 The 11th of February saw a meeting, students. 3 FROM PAGE ONE held in the Arts Block, which discussed It was also agreed at the meeting that the undemocratic actions of the Univer- bring the severity of the issue, to the a formal letter would be sent to individ- sity. The meeting was attended by Sen- Registrars attention. ual students affected by the changes ior lecturers from the College. Registrar Philip Nolan later addressed informing them of any disruptions. Professor Tim Mooney from the Phi- the protestors and assured students The universities decision to listen to losophy department and Professor Tom that negotiations were in progress. A the needs of the students regarding the Garvin from the Politics department subsequent meeting was arranged for drawn out issue of modularisation has 3 NEWS both expressed their disdain at the way Thursday the 10th of February. The been welcomed, however, questions College climb down on modularisation, a the university was treating both staff meeting confi rmed that the University still need to be answered regarding next and students alike. would not in fact implement the pro- year’s Erasmus students and anyone in couple of scamps rob the SU, sound tech- The educational branch of SIPTU posed changes to next year’s third year a four-year degree programme. nician glassed, McDowell comes back for also attended the meeting and ex- students. fun and games and the founder of UCD is pressed their concern regarding the un- The university plans to continue on- What’s Changed? in line for Sainthood. No not Brady. democratic decisions that were being going discussions with the Jane Horgan n The new grading scale will not be made in the College. The lack of con- Jones and SU class representatives. used in fi nal year modules next sultation and communication is becom- The university will publish a proposed year. 10 FEATURES ing an ever-increasing problem. structure for fi nal year students, cover- n The rules used to award honours in Why criminalising The campaign headed by Jane Hor- ing so far the Bachelor of Arts, Bach- your fi nal degree will not change in Magic Mushrooms is gan Jones, involved attempts to rally elor of Business and Legal, Bachelor 2006/2007. wrong. An analysis students regarding the issue. Informa- of Commerce, Bachelor in Social Sci- n There will be no UCD Horizons of those cartoons. tion was circulated and a protest was ence. The publication is set for release electives in fi nal year in 2006/07. held on Friday the 3rd of February, in on 22nd Feb and will be followed up n The examinations for fi rst semester Why Valentines day an attempt to raise awareness and also with two open information sessions for courses will be held in the summer is bullshit and a look at that damned bebo 18 DISTRACTIONS TRIBUNE We just couldn’t wait to have a chat with that nice Gavin DeGraw fella. Also we shoot the breeze with The Marshals and interview one of those nice people from SUDOKU NO. 13 / MEDIUM NO. 14 / DIFFICULT IRMA. As well as all this excitement we’ve got a whack load of reviews plus a par- 41 4

ticularly informed preview of the Oscars. 30 47 59 4 SPORT 34 691 8 Bad news on the 35972 28 4 Basketball front, with UCD Marian rock 486751 bottom of the table. Why 28594 398 GAA is a mans sport. A look at Irish underage 12 5263 rugby and a report from 39 17 3 the ladies hockey teams’ stunning comeback. 57 9 6 Complete the grids so that each row, column and 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. REGULARS The solutions will appear on this page in the next issue. Editor Distractions Editor Contributors: 8 FAUSTUS Eoin Mac Aodha Barry Bowen Ben Blake, Alexa Byrne, Stephen Caffrey, Caitrina Cody, Fionn 9 EDITORIAL & Design Editor Features Editors Dempsey, Dan Finn, John Holden, Simon Ward Alan Tully Leanne Hughes, Sinead Gifford, LETTERS Box 74, Eileen O’Malley Laura Greene, Brenda O’Grady, Student’s Centre, Chief Sub Editor Megan O’Grady, Roisin Jones, 16 THE HEADLINER University College Rúaidhrí O’Connor Health & Fashion Editor David Hammill, Fiona Hedderman, Dublin. Caitríona Gaffney Kingsley Kelly, Jonathon, Sports Editor Kilbane, David McLoughlin, Roe 18 FASHION Belfi eld, Colin Gleeson Music Editor McDermott, Deirdre McGuire, Dublin 4. 24 RUD’S WORLD Ronan Dempsey Dermot Looney, Peter McKenna, News Editor Kevin Murphy, Sinead Monaghan, Email: Film Editor 10 THINGS... Jack Cane Richard McElwee, Elizabeth- [email protected] Karen O’Connell Ann Kirwin, PJ Mullen, Barra Chief Newswriter 26 THE LUNGE O’Fianail, James Redmond, Harry Telephone: Owen Priestley Photography Editor Smyth, Alex Tierney, Gordin Aisling O’Leary DEAR TRIBUNE (01) 716 8501 Tobin, Mark Walsh Special Thanks To: 27 THE TURBINE Online: & Mairtin Mac Aodha for the use of the Stephen & Gary @ Spectator Newspa- house, 911, Applied Language Centre, www.ucd.ie/tribune 28 DOWN THE LINE pers, Dominic Martell and Sinead Kelly Blackrock Market, Belfi eld FM, Niteline, @ UCD Communications Offi ce, Mary and the SU. College Tribune 14.02.06 NEWS 3

Newman to be beatified

Founding Father and fi rst Rector of UCD, CAITRIONA GAFFNEY Cardinal John Henry Newman, is set to become a Saint. Andrew Munroe is now making a full re- The news has emerged in light of a coma- covery despite doctors’ warnings that there tose teenager on the brink of death making was no hope for him and that he would be a shocking recovery after a lock of Cardinal a in vegetative state. But according to his Newman’s hair was placed on his pillow. mother Mary Munroe, ‘He is beginning to Andrew Munroe, 16, was on a life support speak again. The school system is evaluat- machine when his family held a special heal- ing him so that he can restart his studies. ing ceremony by his bedside in a Boston hos- His doctors are as delighted and amazed pital. Fr. Richard Cleary had recommended as we are.’ that the Munroe family pray to Newman. Jack Sullivan, who is barred from dis- The young man fell from a slow moving cussing his own miracle, said: ‘It was truly vehicle while ‘horsing about’ in the car three remarkable. Andrew’s recovery started al- months ago. most immediately.’ Instead of unplugging Andrew’s life sup- The Congregation For The Causes of port machine, stunned doctors and family Saints originally proclaimed Cardinal New- members watched as the teenager woke man as venerable in 1991 after a thorough from his coma and blessed himself. examination of his life and work Fr. Richard Cleary was aware of a recent A church tribunal in Boston is now con- incident whereby a Mr. Jack Sullivan’s recov- sidering whether Sullivan’s recovery consti- ery from crippling back pain was attributed to tutes the fi rst miracle required to put New- an intervention by Cardinal Newman. man on the way to sainthood. It was when Mr. Sullivan heard of Andrew It is the Archbishop of Boston’s respon- that he contacted Fr. Paul Chavasse at Bir- sibility to determine the validity of this mingham Oratory in England, who is gather- ‘miracle’. If this is confi rmed as a miracle, ing evidence to have Newman beatifi ed. Newman could be beatifi ed and a second Fr. Chavasse arranged to have a lock of miracle, possibly that of Andrew Munroe, Newman’s hair fl own to the States for the would be necessary for Newman to be be- special healing service. atifi ed. Things you may not have known about John Henry Newman n Born in London February 12th 1801 n Converted to Catholicism - 1845 n Once claimed that the Pope was the anti-Christ n Wrote the Idea of University - 1852 n 1st Rector of UCD’s forerunner Catholic University of Ireland - 1854 n Died August 11th 1890, buried in Birmingham College Tribune 4 NEWS 14.02.06 Unsafe In a spin Union PHOTO: EOIN MAC AODHA

EOIN MAC AODHA

Students’ Union President, James Carroll, has been left “devastated” and “disgusted” after a robbery in the Students’ Union. Two thieves entered the Un- ion corridor last Friday night and made away with up to €2,000 worth of recently bought equip- ment. A computer was stolen from one offi ce while the staff offi ce door was forced open where the brazen bandits acquired another computer along with a fl at screen monitor. Speaking in the aftermath of the incident Carroll stated “I’m devastated; I just bought that computer recently for SU Design Offi cer Patrick McKay to improve the ease of his job and the quality j of design coming from the Union. I’m devastated by that. “I’m really disappointed that people would come in and do that. That they’d break in and steal stuff from another offi ce. Just complete disgust.” The incident is currently being investigated by Services and the Gardai although it seems that not everybody in Services knows how to work their CCTV cameras. “There is CCTV in the student centre and in the car-park as well and I think they’re being checked at the minute because the people who were working last night in Services weren’t 100% sure how to use it. “ Carroll was quick however to deny that all of Services were un- able to operate the campus wide CCTV system. “The people who were there at the time, weren’t sure how to use it but I think Services know how to use their cameras.” Hang Time: A skateboarder in UCD before being moved on by services Tragic death Doctors still free on campus Despite rampant rumours to However, extra money was made A fi nal year Veterinary Science “This has been a deeply upsetting EOIN MAC AODHA the contrary, UCD students will available leaving there no need student, Martin O’Calaghan, experience for all of us, including not be forced to pay to see the counsellors service, is run free of to charge students. died tragically in Glenomena Martin’s friends and classmates. doctor in the Health Centre. charge. The Health Centre now has a residences on Monday the 6th of I would like to thank the UCD stu- Conjecture had been rife all Vice President for Students new full-time Head Counsellor February. dent support team, including the week that a €5 charge was to Mary Clayton admitted that the and another half-time doctor. Vice President for students Mary RAs, for the compassion and re- be placed on all students wish- possibility had been discussed Students’ Union Welfare Offi c- Clayton stated “It is with great sad- spect they showed to Martin and ing use the service in the Student but confi rmed that there will be er Dan Hayden declared that he ness that we learned of Martin’s his family.” Health Centre. no charge placed on students. was delighted with the develop- tragic death. In recognition of Martin’s studies At present, the Students’ Un- The extra money would have ments and the knock-on effect it “Our thoughts and sympathy at UCD the College have decided ion Health service, which com- gone towards paying a much would have on reducing waiting are with his family at this very sad to confer him with an Aegrotat De- prises of nurses, doctors and a need extra councillor and doctor. lists. time. gree. College Tribune 14.02.06 NEWS 5

BBoomerangoomerang MMcDowellcDowell n MMcDowellcDowell comescomes backback forfor moremore

Despite a Students’ Union man- lated, it’s completely unacceptable as RTE entitled ‘Broadcasting, Society When he fi nally decided to leave, EOIN MAC AODHA date against his presence in UCD, it far as we’re concerned.” and Law’. McDowell ducked out the back en- seems that Justice Minister McDowell paign was established to challenge According to Duffy the protest “went McDowell’s lecture was concerned trance aided by the presence of a de- just can’t get enough of the Belfi eld the deportation of students such as ok, it passed off peacefully and we got with ‘Society and Broadcasting: Re- coy car at the front. campus. Olunkunle Elukanlo from Palmers- our point across. I think it’s important thinking Roles.” The last visit of the minister on His last visit saw protests and this town who was deported while study- that we show that our campus is a There was a large Garda and Serv- campus in October saw him refer to one was no different with up to forty ing for his Leaving Cert. culturally diverse campus, an open ices presence at the event yet the protesters as ‘living in a time warp’. demonstrators rallying against his Second year Class Rep Enda Duffy, campus, we don’t judge anybody be- protest passed off without incident. The ‘Minister for Injustice’, as one policies on deportation. stated that the protest was organised cause of the colour of their skin.” As the lecture ended and guests banner branded him, was attending The protest was organised by because of McDowell’s “racist poli- Up to forty protesters from UCD’s retired to a reception in the glass an historic game between UCD and UCD’s Anti-Deportation campaign cies in government, his attitude to- branch and national campaigners as- conservatory of the hall, the protest- the PSNI at the time. who also invited national group Resi- wards deportations and how he splits sembled outside O’Reilly Hall where ers assembled at the window where dents Against Racism to the rally. up families, basically sending women McDowell was a keynote speaker at they banged on the glass and railed The UCD Anti-Deportation Cam- back to Nigeria to be genitally muti- a joint lecture series held by UCD and against the minister.

sue over to a board of legal advisors, consisting of three past Auditors. He Society of injustice? stated that Mulrooney “broke the con- stitution” and therefore had he used his authority to let him run, the legal With the bitter twang of elections card at Freshers’ week. The member- advisors could have overturned Mul- LAURA GREENE in the air, the Law Society has joined ship he obtained in September 2004 rooney at the Annual General Meet- in with infi ghting over the upcoming a suitable candidate unlike the two was, according to the constitution, ing. elections for auditor. others running for the same position, valid until the end of the fi rst term of Despite having support from peers Law student Richard Mulrooney, namely Barry Hickey and Sean Tracy. 2005. to give him the chance to run consid- was shocked to hear that due to a The independent adjudicators cited Mulrooney did not pay the member- ering his longstanding position in the technicality he may not be entitled the Law Society’s constitution which ship fee of €2 and sign offi cially as a society, for him to follow through his Angered: Mulrooney to run for auditor of the law society. stated that anyone running for audi- member in Freshers’ week 2005, al- campaign the constitution would have The Class Representative was fi rst tor must “have become an ordinary though he was working for the soci- have been an offi cial member for a to be changed. informed that he had broken the con- member of the union before the end ety at the time. He had been working very short time and currently is one. The disappointed student is doing stitution in January last at a LawSoc of the Michaelmas term of the session and recruiting members for LawSoc in John Thuiller the present auditor all that which seems left to do and is debate. in which the election is to be held”. September 2003, 2004, 2005. of the society which claims the motto holding a meeting on Thursday the A meeting of legal advisors have To become an ordinary member in- He got his offi cial membership on “ar son na córa” … “in the cause of 16th February in Theatre L, so that the ruled against Mulrooney stating that volves simply signing up and paying re-freshers’ day in January 2006 in justice” could have allowed Richard to constitution is changed and he could according to the constitution he is not the standard 2 euro to receive your Astra hall, therefore he would only not run, but thought it better to turn the is- have a chance to run for Auditor. Sound technician glassed in bar

A Garda investigation has been on the night in question. One of the The student in question also refused on Wednesday Feb 1st because a row SINEAD MONAGHAN launched into a glassing in the Stu- students obstructed the path of the to comment. had broken out between a sound tech- dents’ Bar. moned to the scene by the bar staff technician and the pair engaged in a Despite the injury obtained by the nician (not an employee of the univer- The incident occurred between a shortly afterwards. heated exchange. sound technician, he declined the sity) and a student. student and a sound technician. The sound technician received no When questioned regarding the de- offer of an ambulance. The student The report indicated that the sound The technician, working at the sec- serious injuries but did sustain a cut tails of the attack, the bar staff insisted had “red marks around his neck and technician sustained an injury but de- ond gig of last week’s Ents Festival on above his eye. The incident in ques- that the matter was in the hands of his chain was broken”, according to a clined an ambulance. Wednesday, February 1st, was struck tion followed a fracas that broke out the Gardaí and were unwilling to com- close friend of his. “Currently the University is not tak- in the face by a Second Year Arts stu- between the two, neither of whom can ment. The student was remanded at the ing disciplinary action. That is not to dent with a broken glass as the end be named for legal reasons. “The three men involved, the sound Garda station. The sound technician say that this position will not change of the night approached. The incident The incident arose as fi ve students engineer, the student and the bounc- was unavailable to comment. We are checking on the status of the occurred at the back of the bar which were fi nishing their drinks while the er, cannot be named. The matter is According to College Spokesper- Garda position but we understand was at the time closed off to custom- sound technician was in the process out of our control” said the proprietor son Eilis O’Brien, “The duty manager that currently they are not pressing ers. Donnybrook Gardaí were sum- of packing away the equipment used of the Student Bar, Declan Hyland. and the Gardai were called to the bar charges.” College Tribune 6 COMMENT 14.02.06 FAUSTUS Better Value Beats Us Down SODOMISING THE PAST, Dermot Looney discusses Dunnes’ Stores attempts to ERASING THE FUTURE banish trade unionism – and trade unionists

ell well well. Faustus is reeling with the odious stench of For most people, your fi rst job, like Hobbes said about site. Her case has been raised in the House of Commons by election fever. Or not. Faustus has spent the entire year human nature itself, is nasty, brutish and short. Labour MP Sharon Hodgson, and supported in the Dáil by all Wlooking down on his minions of underlings around UCD. Mine was for just over a month around Christmas time in of the left-wing parties and independents. Waiting impatiently for something to happen. As the sabbatical elec- 1998. I was 16, earning a measly £3.30 for every hour worked The Irish Labour Party and its youth section, Labour Youth, tions grip the troglydite in their vice-like jaws, Faustus hopes that in Dunnes Stores in the Square Shopping Centre in Tallaght. have been particularly active in holding pickets of various maybe, just maybe, somebody will either be squelched into pieces, or There were a few fl agrant breaches of employment law as Dunnes’ outlets, and a local broad-based support group has even do something interesting. well; working til 2 in the morning and 14 hour shifts was hardly been formed to campaign in the communities of Crumlin, Kim- But much to the disgust of Faustus, there isn’t one person run- legit but as an awkward kid in his fi rst job I was hardly going mage, Perrystown, Greenhills and Walkinstown around the ning for Sabbatical that has ever done anything naughty. Nobody has to argue my case. Ashleaf Centre. But by far the most articulate and successful robbed any banks. Nobody has smuggled any drugs. Nobody has The personnel manager who interviewed me warned of the proponent of her defence is Joanne herself. ever even been kicked out of the student bar for being too drunk. “dangers” of the trade union in Dunnes. Little did I know that In reality, the move is simply another step in Dunnes Stores’ When queried about dealings with services or police, Faustus noticed such diffi culties extended back for decades. The company are blatant attempts to clamp down on any trade union activity. that the likes of Orla “no, I’m a good girl” Ni Threasaigh refused to notoriously anti-union, culminating They are joined in this ideologi- rock the boat. Well that’s just fantastic. Let’s hope she gets elected. in a number of recent strikes and cal struggle by many of their And then Faustus can look forward to a repeat of this years fun and the infamous anti-apartheid dispute counterparts in the corporate frolics, all the excitement that has left him on the edge of his seat all in the mid-1980’s by 8 women and 1 world; Aldi and Lidl, the German year. man. Better value might beat them supermarket giants, and the At least if Enda “I’m never going to listen to anyone over in the all but it couldn’t beat the union – vast majority of American mul- administration building” Duffy gets elected, Faustus can look for- fi rst, the IDATU, which later became tinationals. But the anti-union ward to constant bombardment of Hugh “Tonight Pinky, we’re going MANDATE. sentiment does not come merely to take over the world” By the middle of January my brief from foreign direct investment. Faustus has every Brady and his array of time with Dunnes elapsed and, as I A great many Irish companies yes-men. Not to men- moved on to other employment, a stand fi rm against any union ac- faith in him to cover tion constant marching number of the remaining staff and tivity. Dunnes’ despicable stance the UCD campus in up and down the con- management prepared to move against Joanne Delaney is sim- rose petals as his course for one reason from Tallaght to a new development ply the logical progression of or another. Enough shit in Dublin 12. Dunnes were to be such a mindset. subordinates skip stirring to keep Faustus the anchor tenants in the Ashleaf The right to join and be active and play from one mildly entertained for Shopping Centre, a new develop- in a trade union is an unabroga- next year. ment on the outskirts of Crumlin. 7 ble, unbreakable human right. lecture to the next The prospects of Dan years later and Dunnes’ Ashleaf is Those perpetrating the anti-un- with Julie Andrews “I like him, he’s very nice” thriving, with about 250 staff and a ion agenda in Ireland are the singing ‘Somewhere Hayden taking control of geographical advantage as the only ideological successors of Wil- the cesspit of hacks that major supermarket for a number of liam Martin Murphy and similar Over The Rainbow’ is the Students Union, local communities. gluttonous bosses, the kind who churns Faustus’ stom- You’d think Dunnes would be hap- make Monty Burns look like a ach. Faustus has every faith in him to cover the UCD campus in rose py with this and would reward and Joanne Delaney good man to work for. All those petals as his subordinates skip and play from one lecture to the next respect the staff who have helped with a concern for human rights with Julie Andrews singing ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’. Faustus build up their store. Instead their treatment of their workforce must realise that Joanne Delaney’s case is one which touches is disgusted. He wants to vomit all over the campus and throw Dan – and one young worker in particular – has been so appalling on the most vital components of our political, economic and “I’ve done a good job, I’m happy enough to say it, I have done a good that they have now hit the headlines across the world. social lives. job” Hayden right into the smelly middle of it. Joanne Delaney is an articulate, personable and intelligent Faustus doesn’t really care about any of the other positions. Al- 22 year-old from Crumlin who was dismissed from her job in The campaign is starting to hit fever pitch and needs further though there was one incident that drew the watchful eye of Faustus. the Ashleaf because of her trade union activity. Joanne was support. For those involved politically, it is a crucial stand for James “whatever it takes” Hartshorn apparently “got drunk and stole elected by her fellow workers as a shop steward and recruited basic worker’s rights. For those who aren’t generally involved a wheelie bin”. Faustus is intrigued by this. He stole a wheelie bin. 30 workers into MANDATE before the company decided they politically, it would be a fantastic campaign to introduce you Faustus would be delighted to see this man as next years Ents offi cer. wanted rid of her. Offi cially, Joanne was sacked because she to trade unionist campaigning. The support group, including He might even organize competitions out in the fi eld where students wore a union pin, a supposed contravention of uniform policy local community representatives, friends and family, left-wing can race each other up and down with the wheelie bins they stole the – even though there is no mention of this on her contract or in groups and trade unionists, meets every Saturday at 11am night before. Scintillating. her employee handbook. at the Ashleaf to support Joanne. You can mail me at super- Faustus was also repulsed by the unrelenting praise for Anto “Pe- Joanne’s union have helped publicise her case around the [email protected] or check out www.indymedia.ie for more ter perfect, the perfect priest” Kelly, from all his hapless protégés. world through the enormously popular Labourstart.org web- info. There was one fool however, who thought he might be able to do a better job. Brian “I’d love to be the inspiration for the next Brian Canny” Canny, QUOTES OF THE WEEK seemed to think that he is capa- “I’d love somehow to go back in time in “They were around six for 11 from three ble of making Anto’s year look “just good”. Faustus was a ‘it’s a wonderful life scenario’ and see in the fi rst half, we shut that down in the amused by this comment what would have happened if we’d nev- second half and took advantage of their and would advise this er put up a fi ght, and I think what would lack of speed around the perimeter,” young gofer not to have happened is students coming back Basketball talk apparently. From Dave Lan- write cheques to second year exams without even been grell of the victorious MDS side he can’t cash. told about it.” Students’ Union education offi cer Jane Hor- gan Jones in light of the College’s climb- “He is beginning to speak again. The down on modularisation. school system is evaluating him so that he can restart his studies. His doc- IRMA is not targeting downloader’s. We tors are as delighted and amazed as we are targeting “serial” uploaders, or those are.” who are sharing large numbers of tracks The mother of Andrew Munroe who is recov- with the online community. ering after a miracle intervention from John FAUSTUS Sean Murtagh from IRMA Henry Newman the fi rst rector of UCD College Tribune 29.1.0614.02.06 LETTERS & EDITORIALDNFJKFJJ 79 LETTERS The College Tribune reserves the right to edit all letters. Box 74, Student Centre & The views expressed on this page are the views of the letter LG 18, John Henry Newman Building, Dublin 4 writers and do not refl ect the views of the Telephone: 01 - 7168501 EDITORIAL College Tribune. E-mail: [email protected] The rights of students are being eroded everyday and what FASHION SHOW are the Union doing about it? With the exception of the fi ght MODULARISATION contra modularisation the Student Union has been next to fi c- Letter to the Public tional on Campus. VICTORY At the beginning of the year your paper reported on the UCD Arts Fashion Show 2006 – The Committee would like Union’s waste of money in an attempt to make them more rec- ongratulations to all those involved in the modu- to take this opportunity to clear up any rumours about the can- ognizable. I would suggest that instead of this small minded larisation campaign. cellation of this year’s show. waste of money that they do exactly what they said they would C The decision by the College Authorities not to Due to the unfortunate fi nancial situation of the show, the do and get out there in the student’s eye. modularise second years must be seen as a huge vic- “Once upon a time in Wonderland” themed event had to be With the exception of Ents Offi cer Anthony Kelly advertising tory for their campaign. cancelled until further notice. Let it be clear primarily in the nights out I have witnessed one lecture address and even that Through their incessant actions, both diplomatic and minds of those involved in the production that this outcome performance was a blundering, stuttering embarrassment. activist, they have forced the college to take the con- was not for lack of trying of the committee. This year’s com- I am not one to hack but what is the result, of all this time cerns of students seriously. mittee worked tirelessly for the show and each member threw wasting. The answer is disastrous. The lack of action is not a The college now have a responsibility to carry out themselves entirely into their efforts to make the UCD Arts result of student apathy. The students care and are willing to their word and not to go back on it as they have done Fashion Show 2006, the best one to date. It was get involved if rallied but what they need is a leader who is will- before. not due to the lack of cohesion or efforts exerted by the com- ing to step out of the shadows for more than a photo shoot. Previously they said that returning students would mittee that led to this, but in fact it was the lack of fi nancial Before last year’s manifestos, few knew what James Carroll not face Christmas exams yet subsequently changed backing for the event. No one person can be held accountable looked like. I would suggest that even fewer know now even in their mind to say a semesterised system would be the for the situation and his nicely embroidered hoody. ‘cornerstone’ of their fi nal year. the cancellation was a last resort, which came as huge shock Is that what we can expect from this years group of Union It is quite obviously impossible to know what decision and upset to the committee. It is known and understood that hopefuls? Now is the time for a real leader to step forward and the college would have made without the concerted ac- the cast and all those involved and associated with the show inform the populous of our small town, because that is what it tions of second years, Class Reps and some offi cers in are confused and frustrated at this situation, but they and the is, a town on 22,000 students and staff. the Students’ Union. public must not beconsumed by the rumours of a handful of We care about the levels of crime on our hometown streets Sadly, the College may not have known themselves. people. whether in Leitrim, Cork or Clare. We care about where our A fact which is indicative of the restructuring of the Col- We must remember what the focus of the UCD Arts Fashion councillors spend our money. We care that things get done. lege and the ‘hotchpotch’ manner in which it has been Show is. It is a fundraising event for a well deserving charity. We care that when something serious comes along that our conducted. This year’s charity was to be the Down Syndrome Centre in elected representatives stand tall and have done their home- The about turn has also highlighted the importance of Dublin. They will not however be left unaided by the show as work and are ready to stand up and be counted in our names. popular protests as a vehicle for change. a donation will be made. In closing, every effort is being made Surely the same should be said for UCD. Unfortunately due to Unfortunately dialogue does not always work. In to restructure the show so as it can continue on in the next time wasting this is not the case. those cases, exemplifi ed by modularisation, protests academic year. are the only way to for change to be brought about. Yours sincerely, The students of UCD should remember this as a Concerned Student landmark case, which shows their strength. SU WHO? Never again should they be willing to have their wel- fare dictated to them. Dear Sir, OBITUARY

In recent days it has been brought to my attention the lack Final year Veterinary Science student, Martin O’Callaghan SU ELECTIONS of action by the students of UCD. Now I am not one for huge passed away on Monday the 6th of February. demonstrations and protesting for the sake of protesting but I The College Tribune would like to offer its condolences to his am one for standing up for what is important namely, student family and friends as well as the Veterinary Science faculty during this diffi cult time. he College Tribune implores all students of UCD rights. to vote in the upcoming elections. T Every student is a member of the Union. Part of the registration fee every student pays at the start of the year goes to the Students’ Union. All of the fi ve offi cers who you will elect will be paid a weekly wage that comes directly from your pocket. As you pay their wages, use your right and vote. If none of the candidates appeal to you vote R.O.N. This means Re Open Nominations, which will open up the election for new candidates to come forward. By CREATIVE? doing so, you will at least be using your vote for posi- THEN JOIN US. tive means. It is the opinion of this paper that the Students’ Union needs a strong president. The unprecedented re-struc- turing of the university has seen the welfare of students placed at an all time low. The students of UCD now need a president who will not be dictated to by the technocrats in the administra- The College Tribune is looking for new Design tion building. A president who will look after the welfare Assistants. Experience of Adobe Indesign and of students. The current climate calls for a strong leader who will Photoshop is useful but not be gladhanded by the beauracrats in the college not required. administration. E: [email protected] It is up to the students of UCD to decide who that TrainingT: 716 8501 will be provided to president is. successfulA: LG 18, Newman applicants. Building YOU KNOW IT. College Tribune 8 FEATURES 14.02.06 All you need is love As Valentines Day comes around again, Alexa Byrne takes a look at the ancient ‘day for lovers’ and ponders

Everywhether February on it’s the 14th all of becomethe and the fi rstjust commercial meaningless Valentine’s of it. Frankly, hype. even the idea of receiv- month couples come together in cards began to be sent in the 1800s. ing gifts for an occasion I consider the name of a certain St. Valentine. Ireland in fact has a special tie to completely hollow makes me feel self- There is no doubt though that sin- the day, with the Carmelite Church in conscious and embarrassed. Don’t gletons, bored of having to avoid Whitefriar St. being home to the relics get me wrong, I love love! I believe the obvious and even some cou- of St. Valentine himself. there can never be too much love. I ples, feeling forced into exchang- Valentine’s day though has evolved just can’t think of anything less roman- ing the obligatory box of choco- like all such events, into a commer- tic than assigning a day in the year to lates, hold a disdain for this ‘day cialized celebration, a ‘Hallmark holi- participating in romantic behaviour.” for lovers.’ day’ providing a profi table means for There is resentment in the air on Modern cynicism aside, the his- all those with the entrepreneurial skill the part of some men too, who dislike torical roots of the day are noble and to monopolize on the day, guilting the the onus on them to come up with ex- sweet. St Valentine it seems was a most cynical of us into buying a little pensive presents. Mark , 1st Science, priest who lived in third century Rome, something for our special someone. argues that, “an expression of love earning his reputation as a romantic It seems that UCD students feel the shouldn’t be something material like when he was executed for marrying same, many holding unenthusiastic fl owers or chocolates.” Of course it’s young lovers after Emperor Claudius attitudes towards this most roman- the thought that counts and it’s nice II outlawed marriage for young men, tic of days. “It’s like forced romance, for any girl to know that her boyfriend believing that single men made better isn’t it?” says Fiona, 1st Arts. It’s not has made an effort and spent money soldiers than those encumbered with only girls who feel the pressure to be on her but €80 for a bouquet of fl ow- wives and children. coupled up on February 14th though. ers in not required to prove ones feel- St Valentine was believed to have Daire, also 1st Arts, agrees, “I don’t ings. sent the fi rst Valentine’s card himself, like Valentine’s Day. It’s grand if you If you are in a relationship, it seems to a young woman, his jailors daugh- have a girlfriend but if you don’t it that the day reserved for love feels ter, whom he befriended whilst in jail. makes you feel as if you should. I like a duty to exchange gifts and cards He signed it ‘from your Valentine’, the don’t think it should be taken too seri- or have dinner in a fancy restaurant. It’s not all bad, it’s a beautiful concept all types of love and friendship, giving expression still often used on cards ously either.” A spontaneous romantic gesture on to have a saint dedicated to lovers, cards and presents to our friends and today. Perhaps someone in a happy rela- a normal day would be much more alas commercialization leads many family as well as partners. Then no- In 496 AD Pope Gelasius declared tionship might feel differently? Claire highly valued, without the threat of to undermine the concept, making the one would feel lonely or left out. The February 14th to be St Valentine’s 1st Arts, who’s been with her boy- Hallmark breathing down your neck. day devoted to love appear hollow spirit of St. Valentine has been lost in Day, as it was believed he was mar- friend for over a year, said, “person- Valentine’s Day is undoubtedly a and cynical. a fl urry of cards and fl owers so let’s tyred on that date. St Valentine gradu- ally Valentine’s Day means nothing to day for lovers, and can make even the Valentine’s Day should be a celebra- take a step back people and just ap- ally became the patron saint of lovers, me. I don’t get excited at the thought most confi dent single feel a bit lonely. tion not merely of romantic love, but of preciate the basics and feel the love. College Tribune 14.02.06 FEATURES 9

In light of the recent decision by Minister for Health Mary Harney to criminalise the sale of Magic Mushrooms, John Holden examines their role in ancient cultures and the hypocrisy of the governments stance towards the alcohol industry

When the fi rst Catholic mission- occasional and sporadic until the ex- However, there is plenty of evidence ing to our children, with awful people war, until the diseases and superior aries reached the Americas, they plosion in the use of hallucinogenic to show that their intellectual culture pushing them down their uninformed, weaponry of an intellectually and spir- were horrifi ed at the practices of drugs began with the highly publicised and development superceded any- tiny little uneducated minds. itually crippled Spanish ‘civilisation’ the native peoples. Without any work of botanists and anthropolo- thing developed by the Old World in- All the while, the largest drug push- came with the blessings of civilized consideration, they set about struc- gists – or ethnobotanists – in iden- vaders. Part of this highly developed ers of all, the alcohol industry, go un- life. It had never occurred to them to turally dismantling their culture. If tifying their use by native peoples in mind was directly due to the use of challenged. Oh, there is a ‘tut-tut’ here exercise police power over how the Jesus Christ was not involved in the Americas, India, Russia, tropical hallucinogens. In their shamanistic, and there, but absolutely no concert- individual sought to transform his con- the sacred hallucinogens of magic Africa, and other places (this coin- holistic religion, the complexity and ed attempt to tackle the havoc being sciousness. mushrooms, peyote, datura, and cided with the discovery of lysergic poetic imagery rivaled some of the wreaked throughout the country by Classifying magic mushrooms as ololiuhqui (morning glory seeds), acid diethylamide – LSD 25, and its world’s greatest religions. The visions the alcohol industry, whose sponsor- a Class A drug is unconscionably ab- then they were the work of the widespread use). From then, their use of the shamans inspired, educated ship of sports organisations continues surd. There is absolutely no justifi ca- devil. in Ireland increased dramatically, and and informed their societies. 0 unabated. And it’s worse, because tion whatsoever for equating it as on Fast forward over 400 years, and while the use of magic mushrooms a par with heroin or cocaine, both of things are somewhat similar in Ireland. Classifying magic mushrooms as may harm the user or cause a bad which, unlike magic mushrooms, are If the alcohol industry is not involved in experience which quickly passes, addictive. It doesn’t even make sense changing our moods and escaping our a Class A drug is unconscionably the alcohol user has the potential to to declare it worse than cannabis. But daily lives, then the mushroom must absurd. There is absolutely no cause immense harm to others, and when it comes to the drugs debate, be the work of sinister forces. Thank often does. Drink driving and violence sense is left at the door, as spineless God for Minister for Health Mary Har- justification whatsoever for are the primary ways in which alcohol politician after spineless politician ney, coming in like a hog and sniffi ng equating it as on a par with users infl ict their harm upon non-us- lines up to declare the wickedness of out those weird truffl es. Just like a cru- ers. Aren’t people who don’t drink a bit drugs, without ever addressing the re- sading Catholic, helping to eradicate heroin or cocaine odd, Young Fine Gael? By the way, did alities of criminalization. something about which she clearly you know that alcohol is a derivative For all the liberal posturing of the has no understanding. more people became aware that the Re-enter Harney the truffl e hog, of the waste of a fungi (yeast) which Progressive Democrats, this latest Hallucinogenic drugs have been generally ignored ‘little brown mush- saving our children from having to lis- shares the same family as the magic move of truffl e snuffer Harney ex- used throughout history by mankind, rooms’ in the fi eld with the sheep in- ten to a chorus of middle-aged wom- mushroom? poses them to be the traditional, reac- and even a few animals (In Siberia, creased spiritual, mental, emotional en telling Joe Duffy how awful those Prior to Christianity, the New World tionary conservatives that they really reindeer have trampled magic mush- and creative awareness. ‘dhrugs’ are, and sure isn’t it terrible never knew the intolerant fanaticism of are. Despite the work of anthropolo- room eaters to death, seeking to drink This is something that the Mesoa- that people are making a profi t from it, Christianity and other religions which gists, botanists, historians, and psy- their urine.). In Ireland, there is evi- merican tribes had always known. and sure shouldn’t somebody stop the dictate what people may or may not chiatrists, our social policies seem to dence to suggest that they were used Aztec, Inca, Californian Indian, and children getting their hands on these put into their own bodies. They placed have returned to the superstitious and by Celtic druids, before Christianity Mayan civilizations were amongst dangerous drugs? And all those other a value on individual freedom. They ignorant fulminations of 16th century saw them off. Their use in Ireland was the least materially complex peoples. drugs, and the damage they’re do- lived in peaceful existence, without Spanish inquisitors. College Tribune 10 FEATURES 14.02.06 Resistance is futile The phenomenon of Bebo has moved beyond the fi xation of young teens, Eileen O’Malley examines this voyeuristic outlet that offers something for the more self-indulgent amongst us

This is an offi cial warning for all allow your eager friends to answer a though is its voyeuristic appeal. Un- who try to resist, Bebo is spreading quiz on how well they know you, or a beknownst to anyone, it allows you to like a vicious rash; offi cial reports survey, or to satisfy their burning de- check up on old class mates or see have classifi ed it as contagious, sire for artistic expression, a resulting how crap and un-popular (hopefully) the only known form of protection drawing or two for public display. Self- ex-boyfriends have become since is technical ignorance. Do not be indulgent? Well maybe just a wee-bit. the break-up. Come to think about it, alarmed though, resistance may be The sight even goes as far as vis- Bebo has the potential to be the per- futile but little permanent damage ibly counting the amount of times your fect breeding ground for stalkers and occurs as a result, except perhaps profi le has been viewed and four- bunny boilers alike. (Because obvi- to ones ego. teen year old girl or not, when Bebo ously there aren’t enough of those in Once only a self obsessed outlet takes hold you actually begin to care the world.) for fourteen your old girls, the phe- whether four or four hundred people By connecting with ‘friends’, individ- nomenon has taken hold of third level have examined your profi le and read uals are thus then linked with all their slackers everywhere and it refuses to such interesting tid-bits as your fa- subsequent friends’ profi les and vice go away. For those of you with a life vourite word. The mind boggles as to versa with Bebo opening up a mas- (or social pariahs as one such Trib- who might actually boast to having a sive network of people. The most in- une columnist put it) and therefore favourite word. teresting discovery being proof of the ignorant of the concept, Bebo allows It is in essence a jazzed up populari- infamous six degrees of separation individuals to create their own modest ty contest for the 21st century. The key theory, either that or else Bebo proves having a laptop in lectures is that once and Bebo offers the pre-Madonna’s website, displaying likes and dislikes, to success it seems, is to rope (‘invite’ something we knew all along, that Ire- the novelty wears off, one runs out of amongst us a virtual outlet for our de- (care to hear when I’m happiest any- ala Bebo language) everyone in your land is a very small place indeed and things to look up on the internet, ex- sire for attention. It’s almost like an ad. one?), photos and tedious quirks on ‘address book’ to become your ‘friend’ thus the overlapping of acquaintances cept maybe novelty porn, though with Yes, it’s like a personal ad describing display, all under the auspices of a so as to counter the image that no one is a very common occurrence. peering eyes behind that is unlikely to yours truly and letting the world know means of ‘sharing photos and staying actually cares about you and your cute Its’ sudden popularity amongst happen. how god damn popular I am. in contact with friends.’ little quirks. And the main thing Bebo university students has undoubtedly Bebo thus is the perfect distrac- Bebo may lend itself to self indul- Lets not lie to ourselves Bebo-fans, is about is image, why else would you been born out of boredom, with may- tion for the bored student in search of gence and be prime hunting ground it serves primarily to focus on the ‘me show the world only the most fl attering be a dash of egotism and a sprinkle of some entertainment, puerile and all as for those in search of distraction, but me me ‘for a while. An individuals’ sight photos of yourself. downright nosiness thrown in for good it appears. It’s a simple concept, most like many things in life, image is eve- boasts such delightful offerings as to The more fascinating part of Bebo measure. The double edged sword of of us love talking about ourselves rything! College Tribune 14.02.06 FEATURES 11 On the Offensive In light of the recent violent protest to the infamous Mohammed cartoons, David McLaughlin takes a look at the joke that nobody laughed at.

Has anyone ever heard of a joke frame the argument around the issue going down worse than the recent of freedom of speech is just a cover for series of cartoons of Mohammed? what is quite a vicious attack on Mus- When most comedians tell a bad lims by a right-wing newspaper with joke the worst they expect is si- connections to the right wing Islamo- lence, tumbleweed and maybe some phobic government party in Denmark”. embarrassing heckling. Nobody ex- While Denmark has a reputation for pects rioting, arson, destruction of tolerance there is a suggestion that the property, tens of thousands of pro- recent events have been a reaction to testers and a death toll of nine and Danish complacency and condescen- rising. sion towards Muslim sensibilities. This Unfortunately this is the response is evidenced by reports of the Danish some awesomely unfunny cartoons, Prime Minister Fogh Rasmussen’s published by the Danish newspaper refusal to meet with Muslim ambas- Jyllands-Posten, have received. A se- sadors to discuss the matter openly ries of twelve satirical cartoons intend- for fi ve months before the outbreak of ed to spark a debate about the Islamic violence. religion and its association with terror- It is clear that, while the cartoons are ism has instead ignited a fi restorm of upsetting to many Muslims, they are violent protest and hatred towards Eu- not the only cause of the eruption they rope and western culture. have triggered. In truth there are many The enormity of the outrage ex- more complex factors at play. Accord- pressed by Muslims has left many in ing to Professor Tobias Theiler of the the west a little bewildered. Why has UCD School of Politics, while anger so much fury been unleashed by what may be genuinely felt at ground level, Irish senator David Norris calls “a few there is also political interference at squiggles on a piece of paper”? governmental level. One answer comes from the Muslim “From the outside it appears as if world in the form of Ahmed, auditor of these governments are instrumental the Islamic society in UCD. “Those im- in organizing some of the protests. It’s ages were wrong. They touched some- the oldest trick in the political book to thing that people really believe in and focus anger on an external enemy in made the bad in them come out.” order to garner domestic support for That may be so and the cartoons the government. Syria is a police state printed are very crude and provoca- and it would be impossible to imagine tive but the reaction to them seems protests of this scale going on without drastically disproportionate and quite the government conniving behind the terrifying to Westerners who cannot scenes.” comprehend it. “Its not just about the Thelier continues that, “In the Leba- cartoons it’s about a whole bunch of non the group that was involved in the things gathered together, its about attack on the Danish embassy has what has been happening over the last close links to Syrian intelligence. Syria couple of years, it keeps getting worse and Iran are both in trouble internation- and worse”. ally, Syria for their involvement in the It is clear that the Muslim world has assassination of a Lebanese minister a lot to be upset about. It may be the Stereotypes: Does this one offend you? and Iran for various things including incessant association of Islam with ter- the nuclear issue.” rorism by the western media or the real believes other factors must be taken stance our message will come across Professor Rowland Stout of the “It is possible that they are using this military threats to Islamic countries like into account. “You can’t understand better”. UCD School of Philosophy believes in issue to defl ect the negative attention Iran from the United States. Perhaps the violence of the last week without For many in the West the recent con- the individual temperance of the right of the international world and also of it is down to the history of centuries understanding the disgust and depth troversy has not been simply about in- to freedom of speech. It is ethically their own peoples away from them- of aggression towards Islam from the of anger of Muslims over the treatment sults and cartoons but rather a question wrong to print things that are offen- selves and onto this issue instead. Christian West, but there is combina- of Iran and the Middle East by Europe of free speech and the encroachment sive and distasteful. However, on the Syria has, or at least claims to have, tion of problems that are only waiting and America.” of Muslim values on western rights. other hand, the type of violent protests a secular liberal government. Although for opportunities to be vented. that have resulted from them are also the population is largely Muslim, they According to Senator David Norris wrong and it is fairly clear that people might also be using this as an opportu- “The Islamic world perceives itself to It’s the oldest trick in the are being bullied into silence on this is- nity to prove their religious credentials be under attack by Bush, who blas- political book to focus sue because of fear of reprisals of this and to boost support for the govern- phemously describes it as a Christian kind.” ment.” enterprise and also culturally and spir- anger on an external The Muslim view, according to The result of all this is the gradual itually by western materialist values; Ahmed, is also that it is a question of drifting apart of two cultures and the this has provided an opportunity, a enemy in order to garner responsibility. “Freedom of speech has widening of a gulf of mis-understand- catalyst.” domestic support for the limits. Religion is something sacred. ing between them. Whether the aggra- This feeling of threat is likely to make It’s what people believe in; you can’t vator is western or eastern the result is Muslims increasingly sensitive to criti- government make fun of stuff like what?” Others the same and the confl ict created will cisms of their religion. A derogatory would argue for the absolute nature of burn until it ends in tragedy. While po- caricature of a holy prophet will not be Taking this into account makes the With the reprinting of the cartoons in free speech but most would agree that litical ideals and cultural values come taken as an invitation to debate. It will Muslim response to the cartoons that French, German and other newspa- while theoretically this is true, in prac- and go there are some things that we be perceived by Muslims as yet anoth- much more understandable but does it pers in the western world, it seems that tice respect and consideration are nec- all should agree on. In the words of er insult by the West to their religion. make it excusable? For Ahmed it does people in the West have also taken this essary if people seek to co-exist. David Norris “As far as I’m concerned In order to understand the reaction not. “The violence that is going on is opportunity to assert western values in Others believe that press freedom or human protection and the protection of the Muslim world, Donal Mac Fhe- wrong and it should be avoided at all the face of what is viewed as a threat freedom of speech is not the issue at of human life is the most important arraigh of the Socialist Workers Party costs. If Muslims take a more peaceful from Muslim culture. all. For Mac Fhearraigh “the attempt to thing.” College Tribune 12 ELECTION SPECIAL 14.02.06 ELECTIONS 2006 The League of Mentalmen The veteran of many an dogged and bitter Students’ Union election campaign, Dan Finn explains the vagaries of UCD politics and implores you all to get out and use your right to vote

For the fi rst time in six years, I won’t be around UCD for the annual circus that is the Students’ Union elections. Happy days for me, hard luck for the rest of yis. A friend of mine used to go around during election time with a badge that said “FUCK OFF”. ? ? Whenever an earnest young canvasser tried ? to grab his attention, he would merely point ? to the badge and walk on. You may need to consider a similar investment. As someone who spent the best part of fi ve years involved in SU politics (and even spent a ? year working for the damn institution), I’m well aware that the majority of students fi nd it all a little baffl ing. To be honest, I found it all a little baffl ing too. There really should be a sign up like they have in the League of Gentlemen: “WELCOME TO THE STUDENTS’ UNION – YOU’LL NEV- ER LEAVE”. The difference being that the rag- ged bunch of eccentrics hanging around the Whose it going to be? You decide. SU make the population of Royston Vasey look of worthwhile things. It deals with the college the bar. political role, and always will be (just consider almost normal. on your behalf, it campaigns for better grants UCD students should care about the SU, the fact that 4 out of the last 5 presidents have I’ll get the serious bit out of the way fi rst. and accommodation, it helps you out if you’re and they should care who’s running it. In recent been members of political parties). There’s The Students’ Union is important. It does a lot pregnant or otherwise distressed, it even runs years, there have been two main tendencies in absolutely nothing wrong with this, and it’s the SU: the “Left” and the “Right” (although this much better if people are honest enough to doesn’t mean that SU politics is like a junior ver- debate their political differences in the open sion of the Dail, much as some people would instead of pretending to be “apolitical”. like to think it is). Ok, that’s the earnest bit. But what makes The Left, broadly speaking, believes that SU politics either fascinating or horrifying (for the SU should concentrate on organising cam- me it’s both) is the other side of things. For paigns around issues like the grant, student some reason the SU has always managed to accommodation, and so on. It believes that a attract a bizarre horde of charlatans, self-pub- confrontational approach will pay off in dealings licists and outright lunatics. You get all sorts of we have with the government and the college people who consider themselves to be UCD authorities. It also thinks that the SU should, celebrities merely because they get the occa- from time to time, take up issues (like the Iraq sional mention in this paper’s gossip column war) that don’t affect UCD students directly. “Faustus” or the Snobserver’s “Tallyrand”. The Right has tended to argue that the SU For anyone who gets involved in the SU for should focus on providing services rather honest reasons, putting up with these chanc- than organising campaigns. It has little faith in ers can be a headache. But it’s almost worth- marches and other forms of protest, and be- while when you see one of the fools put them- lieves that a more conciliatory approach will selves forward for election, only to crash and pay dividends: if we’re on good terms with the burn spectacularly. powers that be, they’ll listen to our arguments Now there’s no reason why everyone who sympathetically. stands for election should be mocked. I did it I’ve always come down strongly on the Left’s myself once, with great reluctance, and it’s a side of the argument, but you’re welcome to very strange experience. Any normal person make your own mind up. When you see the will fi nd it unnerving to see their mug up on manifestos and hear the lecture addresses in hundreds of posters around campus (I certainly the coming weeks, listen out and see where the did). So I have nothing but respect and sympa- candidates stand. And if you’re pinned down by thy for honest candidates, of any political per- one of the many canvassers hanging round the suasion or none. Arts block, ask them a few questions so you But the sort of person who gets a kick out can tease things out. of seeing thousands of reproductions of them- There will be many people who say “politics selves distributed around UCD deserves noth- has nothing to do with the Students’ Union”. The ing but scorn and contempt. And happily, this is current SU president James Carroll has been what the electorate tends to bestow on them. heard to say this more than once. However, Mr For those students too young to remember Carroll is himself a prominent member of UCD’s the likes of Greg Park and Shane Pollard, fear Fianna Fail branch, so it might be wise to take not, this year’s election is sure to produce at his claims with a pinch of salt. The President least one glorious failure. Look out for some- usually sets the direction for the SU, and he/she one making outrageous promises they have no can’t avoid taking a stand on the issues men- intention of keeping, and watch their campaign tioned above. end in disaster. Whatever about positions like Welfare and But whatever you do, vote. It only takes fi ve Ents, the SU Presidency has always been a minutes, and all you need is your student card. College Tribune 14.02.06 ELECTION SPECIAL 13 PRESIDENTTHE CANDIDATES FOR ENDA DUFFY

What do you want to be when you grow up? Opinion on College and Modularisation: Secondary School Teacher I think they’ve been appalling at the start of the year. The students Opinion on outgoing offi cer? I think he’s too cosy with the es- managed to push them and anyone who was involved in that cam- tablishment in the college and I think he’s too worried about his paign and the students of second year should be extremely proud image in the administration building than with the students on the of what they’ve achieved. ground. Do you think students can trust the College? The lecturers Why you? On my record as a student activist in this college I think are all decent people, they can be trusted but the other echelons, I’ve shown I’m committed to the students of UCD. I’ve seen the Hugh Brady and his yes men, they’re the people we should be good the bad and the ugly in three Union administrations and I wary of. It’s not Hugh Brady, it’s the students who should control know I can take the best out of those Unions in next years Union this college. and I think the students will benefi t an awful lot from that. Do you believe that protests work? Why president? It would be mad to think that protests are the only option. It’s a We need someone who is going to be able to represent students very viable option that can be used but I think dialogue is very in the college. Whatever the wishes of the students of UCD, that’s important as well. what the president should be doing. If I’m elected president, I’m What do you feel is the biggest issue facing the students of going to listen to the students I’m not going to listen to anyone over UCD? in the administration building. The rip-off agenda, students in UCD are being exploited by on- Does the Union matter? I think it does. If the Union wasn’t around campus franchises, who are profi teering off students. This is an there wouldn’t be a national voice and local voice to represent stu- ongoing issue. We’re not going to lie down, we’re going to ensure dents on things like academic council to ensure that every decision the students of UCD get a fair deal that’s made in this college is student friendly and that every deci- How far will you go for the students of UCD? Whatever the Course: 2nd Arts sion made in this college benefi ts the students. 22,000 students of UCD want, that’s what I’ll do for them. Political Affi liations: Labour Youth DAN HAYDEN

What do you want to be when you grow up? that when they come up against a brick wall like that we’re there Teacher, I really don’t know yet. to come to. Opinion on outgoing offi cer? Opinion on College and Modularisation: I like him, he’s very nice. I think he’s done a very good job but It’s awful. They completely changed their word and that’s such a there’s always more to do. If it was up to me I would have had a hard issue to deal with because then the issue isn’t whether it’s more coherent Union. a bad thing but that they broke their word. If you can’t trust the Why you? university then it’s very hard to get back on a level footing again. If this was a job interview they’d vote for me cos’ I’ve got a years There defi nitely shouldn’t be a change in the last year of your de- experience as welfare offi cer. I’ve done a good job as welfare of- gree, that’s breaking of trust, breaking a contract, breaking a cov- fi cer, I’m happy enough to say it, I have done a good job. enant. Why President? Do you think students can trust the College? My faith in the You know the way you say ‘blessed with hindsight’ that phrase, college is shaken. There are people who I’ve worked with that I it’s a good one, it’s a fucking bastard as well because everything’s trust but the question is, whose pulling the strings? Do I trust Hugh always with hindsight ‘that would have been a good idea’, we’re Brady and I suppose his contingent, I’d trust them as far as I could going into another year with hindsight ahead of us. We’ve had a throw them. good year this year in the Union, twice as many class reps and Biggest issue facing students? why not twice as many again. I want to bring it on. The problems that will come in the wake of Semesterisation and Does the Union matter: Modularisation, they may be small but every small problem takes Yes. If you’re a fi rst year in this university every single rule, and a whole lot of work to fi x it. there’s thousands of them, can seem like a brick wall but when How far will you go for the students of UCD: I’ll go as far as Faculty: 2nd Arts you’re in the Union you can see over that, you can see ahead and taking two years out of my life to serve them Political Affi liations: None say this is actually quite scaleable. I want every student to know ORLA NI THREASAIGH

What do you want to be when you grow up? ing I was at was very patronising. You’d ask a question and they’d Successful. I’ll probably do a Masters in Smurfi t, I’m thinking laugh at you. Project Management. Do you think students can trust the College? I think the man- Opinion on outgoing offi cer? agement will always put themselves fi rst, they’re the ones earning I think James did a great job this year, he’s publicised the Union the big money. I think the management come fi rst, then the staff really good. On the marketing side of things he’s done a good and then the students on a lot issues. You can’t trust them on eve- job. rything but in terms of people coming into the college and leaving Why you? again I think you can. I have a lot of experience, I’m Irish offi cer this year, I think I’m a Do you believe that protests work? good leader, I’m really hard working. I’m very committed to the I’d put negotiations fi rst, protests as we saw last Thursday do work Union, I think it can do great things. where we got answers from the protest. I think the Dun Laoghaire Why President? Rathdown grants protest worked as well. It made an example of I think I’d be good at co-ordinating the other four offi cers, I think at one County Council which is our local County Council, is a good the moment there’s a lack of co-ordination. one to target. I don’t think Jane [Horgan Jones - SU education of- Does the Students’ Union matter? fi cer] would have had got that meeting with the County manager It gives voice to the voiceless. There’s a lot of people who wouldn’t without that protest, So yeah they do benefi t. go straight to the authorities with problems, with things on cam- Biggest issue facing students of UCD? pus on general, welfare is extremely important, welfare offi cer Modularisation and Semesterisation fi rst because it effects every and just to provide information basically, its really, really good, it’s single student, secondly the expense of the college. very important. How far will you go for the students of UCD? Opinion on College’s and Modularisation? I’d work my ass off, I’m a very hard worker and I’m really commit- Course: 2nd Commerce international There was a complete lack of consultation, the consultation meet- ted to the Union. Political Affi liations: None College Tribune 14 FEATURES 14.02.06 DEPUTYTHE CANDIDATESPRESIDENT FOR DAVE CURRAN RON What do you want to be when you grow up: Astronaut. Maybe something in journalism or pos- ReOpen Nominations sibly working for some sort of organisation like Oxfam. What does this mean? Opinion on outgoing offi cer (Dave Curran): If more people vote RON than for any of the I’ll start with his looks and intelligence! candidates the election will have to be held Why again: again and new nominations will be invited. I think that with one year in a Sabbatical job you RON is counted as a candidate under the Pro- can get a certain amount done but I think there is portional Representation system used in these a steep learning curve. election Have you made mistakes? Course: MA Development Studies Faculty: n/a I think you can look back on everything and say I Political Affi liations: Labour Youth When can I vote RON? Political Affi liations: n/a can see how that would be done better. You can vote RON in all elections Do you think the Daniel Wang incident was a I think a lot of people don’t realise how much it mistake? matters. Just like the services that people use What’s the story with this race? Why would I do that? I think enough has been said about it, its’ been everyday like the shops and the photocopying You can either vote for Dave Curran or RON. If none of the candidates appeal to you and covered a lot already. place. As no-one has chosen to contest this race two you still want to utilise your vote. Yes or No: Oh yeah no, defi nitely, that would be Do you think students can trust the College? things can happen. a mistake. Students should be cautious towards the college. Has RON ever won? Any run-ins with services/police? Are protests an effective vehicle for change or n Dave Curran will win and become Deputy Yes. In the mid 1990’s. A couple of uncontest- Water balloon fi ght in freshers’ week where we should they only be used as last resort? I think President ed welfare races have also come quite close. threw balloons around the Arts block and may there are defi nitely other avenues that you should n RON will ‘win’ and the election will be run have got into a little bit of trouble. go through fi rst. Can I run a RON campaign? Yes. You are again, probably in the next term. and more Does the Union matter for the ordinary stu- How far will you go for the students of UCD? perfectly entitled to run a RON campaign in dent? To the ends of the universe nominations will be invited. any of the election races. EDUCATIONTHE CANDIDATES FOR BRIAN DOYLE KATE O’HANLON

What do you want to be when you grow up? What do you want to be when you grow up: Work in fi nance or accounting I’d like to work in the publishing industry Opinion on outgoing offi cer (Jane Horgan Opinion on outgoing offi cer (Jane Horgan Jones)? She’s been very active on Modularisa- Jones)? I think she’s done good work this year. tion and Semesterisation and grants, I might ap- She’s made it an activist position. She’s done a proach them slightly differently. I don’t think all very good job and she should be proud of it diplomatic means on the likes of Semesterisation Why you? and Modularisation have been exhausted fully. We need someone next year who can read be- Why Education? tween the lines with the College Authorities, The area I’m most interested in is education and I Faculty: 2nd Commerce there’s a lot of double speak out there, a lot of Faculty: 2nd Arts think I could do the job very well Political Affi liations: Young Fianna Fail meetings that don’t lead to anything. Someone Political Affi liations: Independent Any run-ins with services/police: who will take a hard line on issues like grants, No Do you think students can trust the College? Modularisation and timetabling. here and especially staff that are here. Does the Students’ Union matter? I do think the students can trust the college, I think Any run-ins with services/police: No Do you think students can trust the College: I think it does matter, it would certainly be high up you have to. Does the Union matter? Unfortunately we can’t. We were told last year, on my agenda to make more students aware that How viable are protests for achieving change? Yes, absolutely. The union runs the bar, the shops, point blank, that continuing students would mot the Union does have a lot of infl uence within the I think you have to fully exhaust all diplomatic the copy centre. be Semesterised and then they changed their university and they should take an interest in it. means completely, you have to have good rela- Opinion on College’s and Modularisation? minds. Opinion on College and Modularisation? tionship with the authorities, you have to go to all Modularisation and Semesterisation can be a DO protests work? I think it’s always a mistake I think as long as they provide the right amount the series of meetings, tell them what’s happen- good idea but it’s not being handled well. There’s to protest right off the bat. You have to talk to peo- of information and students know what’s going to ing if they are totally refusing to take your point of a lot of money going into publicity for the college, ple. happen and they do have the say in it things could view into consideration then I think a protest can radio slots, glossy ads and there isn’t enough How far will you go for the students of UCD? go alright. be called for but only in the right circumstances. time and effort being made with students that are All the way. WELFARETHE CANDIDATES FOR BARRY COLFER MICHELLE KILLEEN

Political Affi liations? What do you want to be when you grow up I joined young Fianna Fail, which is going to be Secondary school teacher a tricky one to deal with but I’ve never been ac- Opinion on outgoing offi cer? tive with them. I was very naïve, I shouldn’t have I like him. I think he did a good job this year. done it. Why you? What do you want to be when you grow up? I’ve experience. I think I’m approachable which Welfare Offi cer is important for any welfare offi cer. I’d only ask Opinion on outgoing offi cer? people to vote for me if they think they could Good guy, hard worker. I’d be interested in trying come to me with a problem. I’m friendly, outgo- to continue the offi ce in a similar direction to him. Faculty: 2nd BBLS Faculty: 2nd Arts ing and I do think I’d make a good impact. Why you? I’m hardworking. I’m confi dent and I’m Political Affi liations: None Political Affi liations: Labour Youth Why Welfare? interested in students’ welfare. It’s the most appealing offi ce to me. It’s my Why Welfare? self to be either [pro life or pro-choice], it’s too forte, I like all that sort of stuff and I have an There’s a load of heartache involved with welfare, emotive and too volatile a subject to say that you fact that they can’t 100% trust their word. a lot of tough decisions but that’s the kind of stuff are one or the other because every case is so interest in it. Your view on Abortion? I’m interested in. I’ve always been involved with explicitly different. Any run-ins with services/police? Pro Choice. But I wouldn’t say ‘ yeah you don’t charity work and with metal health organisations. Do you think students can trust the College? No. I know I’m very boring aren’t I? I’m a clean want to have the baby go and have an abor- There isn’t enough awareness. I think the College can be trusted but they need cut sort of girl! tion’. It’s not up to me to say that, I’m not trained Any run-ins with services/police? to know that students need to be informed and Do you think students can trust the Col- to say that. I’d sit and listen to them and then I’d No. I’m a lover not a hater, I avoid confrontation need to be treated like adults because that’s what lege? refer them [to a doctor or counsellor] wherever I can through careful negotiation. we are. Can you trust anybody? They can regarding the How far will you go for the students of Your view on Abortion? How far will you go for the students of UCD? college having their interests at heart, because UCD? If I was welfare offi cer I should like to say I’d take I’ll go to any lengths that I can to get problems that’s what the college is but they cant’ in the To the moon and back every case as it comes. I wouldn’t consider my- sorted COMMERCIAL FEATURE College Tribune College Tribune 16 THE RACE FOR ENTS 14.02.06 14.02.06 THE RACE FOR ENTS 17 TTheyhey shouldshould bebe dancingdancing ....but..but tthey’rehey’re jjustust rrunningunning fforor EEntsnts

DAVE REDMOND EOGHAN O’DUINN BRIAN CANNY HOLLY IRVINE JAMES HARTSHORN ENDA DONOHOE 2ND ARTS 3RD COMMERCE 3RD SCIENCE ARTS INTERNATIONAL 3RD ECONOMICS ECONOMICS AND SOCIOLOGY

Background: Ents Crew. Founded own promotions company. Former Background: Background: Background: Background: Sonic Arts, Belfi eld FM Manager of Belfi eld FM Former Manager Pod and Crawdaddy. Artist Liaison team Electric Pic- Background: Auditor of Retrosoc. Ents crew B&L, Ents Crew. Organised Quake Aid Nine night Stands, What do you want to be when you grow up? What do you want to be when you grow up? Stay in ents anyway. nic What do you want to be when you grow up? What do you want to be when you grow up? What do you want to be when you grow up? Batman. I’d like to get into promotions, event management, that kind Probably move more towards radio. What do you want to be when you grow up? Work in events. I don’t know yet, I’m currently studying maths, physics and statis- Event Manager. I just love it. Don’t know. Wait and see when I grow up. of thing. Opinion on outgoing offi cer? I think he’s done a very good job. There Opinion on outgoing offi cer? Anto did a great job this year. He’s im- tics. Could go into events or go back to my maths, I’m really not too Opinion on outgoing offi cer: Opinion on outgoing offi cer? Opinion on outgoing offi cer? Great job, really good job, nice guy. are some points we had many arguments over but I’ve only seen three proved things drastically this year. I’d like to build on what he’s done sure. I think it would be suicide to say a bad word about him! Done a very good job. Best job in a while UCD Ball? Yes ents offi cers in my time and he really has revolutionised the offi ce. Why you? I have the experience. Generally I’m a very motivated per- Opinion on outgoing offi cer? Why you? Why you? Why you? Why you? I have the experience in working with the ents offi ce in the son. I’m not going to give them some big gimmick. Brilliant guy, he’s done a brilliant job, he’s kept all his promises. In I defi nitely think I’m the best person for the job. I’m really hard work- I’ve done work with events before. I’ve done good events. I’m doing it because I think I have the experience, I’ve done a lot in col- last three years. I’m capable of continuing the good work Anto started. UCD Ball on campus? Yeah. I think the UCD ball should be compara- comparison to any other ents offi cer he’s changed it around com- ing and I feel that I can add something to it. This year has been a I’ve done successful events. I’m good at that. lege, I’ve done Belfi eld FM, I’m a senior producer there, I’m programme I’ve had the experience fi rst hand. ble to the Trinity Ball. It should be a mark on the social calendar. pletely. I’m proud to be part of UCD with him there. great success and I don’t think it should fall into the wrong hands. UCD Ball on campus? editor as well and I present a show as well UCD Ball on campus? Without a shadow of a doubt. Any run-ins with services/police? Why you? UCD Ball on campus? Yeah. The fact that Trinity has such a big ball and we’re a Any run-ins with services/police? No Any run-ins with services/police? No Not really. I’ve had run in’s with Richard Butler over posters, he didn’t I’ve got a lot of ideas, essentially restructuring that I would do with Defi nitely bigger college than Trinity is very unusual. Does the Students’ Union matter? Does the Students’ Union matter? appreciate them. ents, I’m a very hard worker. I could guarantee that I would be leav- Any run-ins with services/police? Any run-ins with services/police? I’m not a hack, there are a few hacks around who feel that the Students’ It plays a very important role in all student life. Whatever offi ce you Does the Students’ Union matter? The Union does make a differ- ing the offi ce making Anto Kelly’s year in offi ce look “just good” in Underage drinking junior cert results night! Arrested when I was younger for being drunk and stealing a Union is the be all and end all. My way of being an ents offi cer is to look at has a very important role. I think ents has an especially visual ence. I’ve used the grinds fi le a couple of times. Everyone in UCD comparison to mine. My life has completely changed since I came Does the Students’ Union matter? wheelie bin. open it up, I tried to get into the bar for a few gigs to DJ in the bar and one, a lot of people mightn’t want to get involved in the politics of the goes to at least one ents event. to UCD I have been given a lot of opportunities, by people who have Yeah defi nitely. I think it’s important that students get involved in the Does the Students’ Union matter? Oh yeah, absolutely. I’d couldn’t get in cos’ I just didn’t know the people. My opinion is to open Union but everyone wants to let their hair down every once and a Biggest promise? Basically, I want to provide a bigger, better, social led me in fi rst year and second year. I’d love to be the inspiration for Union, a lot of people see it as a sort of a cliquey group, the usual like to make it more accessible, it should be more infl uential it up to all, not to refuse people a gig because they don’t know me or while, that’s why the ents offi cer is so important. life on campus. More gigs and greater variety and I want gigs at lunch the next Brian Canny hack thing. I think the everyday student should get a say in what on people. whatever. This has happened previous years but not this year no. Biggest promise? time and early afternoon cos’ people who live off campus tend to go UCD Ball on Campus? goes on. Biggest promise? I have a lot of connections in music. I Biggest promise? To involve more people in the ents offi ce. I want to run an ents council, home early afternoon. So you’re only getting people who live in the im- Yes Biggest promise? have fi rst hand connections with Damien Rice, The Walls, More variety. I like all kinds of music everything, there’s too much maybe where anyone from any corner of UCD can come and put forward their mediate vicinity here who go to a lot of the gigs in the bar. Any run-ins with services/police: It’s going to be better than this year Damien Dempsey a lot of people like that. The music end of the indie rock thing but I think there needs to be a bit more variety. ideas with the ents budget and if its anyway viable then we’ll work to How important is ents? Odd one I guess gets a bit rowdy in the bar but nothing particularly How important is ents? of things is what I’m really focusing on. Try and bring in a lot How important is ents? make it happen. It’s the one that directly impacts every student. There’s people who mad. It’s extremely important for the students. The whole point is keeping more music. Better music. Bring in a few bands that haven’t I think entertainment is quite important because the students need to How important is ents? Of unbelievable importance. Not everyone can go through their whole time in college without knowing the Presi- Does the Students’ Union matter? it around campus so people can fi nish their lectures and not have to come before. be entertained and they need to have something to do, the welfare of is interested in getting involved in the politics of the union. Everyone dent but everyone goes to at least one ents event I don’t think students are really aware about how much the Students’ trek into town to pay 40euros for a gig when they can pay 10 here. How important is ents? I think it’s quite a high profi le job. the people really and that they enjoy themselves and I’d like to have a does like to have a bit of fun now and then. Is ents the most important job? No. But it is the one that impacts Union does matter to them It gives students a chance to enjoy themselves cos’ they might not In charge of the entertainments for the biggest college in the part in that. Is ents the most important job? I don’t think you can put your fi nger the most students. Biggest promise? that I will organize their lives so that they never have time to work. country. Are you daunted by 5 competitors? on any job as being the most important. The ents offi ce is something Are you daunted by 5 competitors? No. It makes it easier to plan a miss anything and they know what’s going on. Is ents the most important job? Is ents the most important job? Depends. It’s the most Not at all. I think I have the experience over the lot of them really. I’m that’s very visually active on campus and I think its very important for campaign because the margin of votes you’re guna need will be much How important is ents? Cornerstone of college, just as important I think for your everyday student it is the most important job because important job for me cos’ I’m not involved in student politics not being arrogant, I’m not being cocky. I think I would do a better job. students. smaller. as welfare and education. It’s something that actually effects the stu- it’s what effects them. Obviously president is the most important but or that. It effects the most things that I do in college on the Is ents the most important job? Should it be all about the music? No. That’s one of the things I’m Should it be all about the music? I want to diversify an awful lot. The dents in their everyday lives, could be most important of the three. probably not for the average joe soap student. entertainment end of things. But I think the most important No I think president is. I suppose people most know the ents offi cer but going to change. There are so many other things like fi lm, theatre, gigs that tend to be on are indie and rock bands, not everyone is into Is ents the most important job? Possibly yeah Should it be all about the music? job in the Union is obviously president I think president is the most important job entertainment that can be installed around campus, everything down that. I’d like to move away from that. More comedy gigs, get in more Should it be all about the music? Defi nitely diversify. I’d like to do more things during the day, get co- Should it be all about the music: Should it be all about the music? to game consoles. interesting people. For example I went to Rodriquez and Gabrielle and Everyone has different taste you’ve gotta cater for that. I’d do plenty medians in, that sort of thing, make use of the student centre as Music is something I’m going to focus on a lot but obviously It’s not going to be all about the music, I do have plans for that. There How far will you go for the students of UCD? I’ll do everything with- they’re fabulous, brilliant. More gigs like that. more stuff other than music. much as possible other forms of entertainment as well. is going to be a lot of other sort of entertainment. in my power to make sure the students of UCD have a great year next How far will you go for the students of UCD: I’d work very hard next How far will you go for the students of UCD? How far will you go for the students of UCD? How far will you go for the students of UCD: How far will you go for the students of UCD? year if I’m lucky enough to be elected. year to try and make ents better again. As far as I can go. All the way and then some Whatever it takes I’ll give them a 100%, I’ll give them my all. ‘The ladies of this ‘Not following the fucking generation haven’t had the pack, like everyone does and time to learn to cook’ having your own opinion’ Rud’s World 26> Gavin DeGraw 23> A DISTRACTIONS FASHION 18 FILM 20 MUSIC 22 HEALTH 25 REGULARS 26 THE TURBINE 28 The style characteristic of the BAG social elite: a man of fashion it Ubersexual fashion guru, Dave Hamill, shares with the male population of UCD his approach to fashion in an effort to educate the boys in terms of style

CURLY HAIR Most magazines I read these days tend to be full of interesting you paint your T-shirts on. The average girl articles and tips for ladies’ fashion. But I proclaim with much What we wear should also be dictated by the occasion. If it’s a night spends the best frustration; “Where is the advice for men?” Granted they are my out then it’s going to be a different look than a typical day in college. A part of three hun- sister’s girly celebrity magazines, which explains the content, good shirt can make or break a man. Look for something that is going dred hours a year with their hair being mauled but my question still raises an important issue. to compliment your build, choose a colour that matches your skin tone between two irons, so why not go for the cute Guys are every bit as concerned as the opposite sex when it comes and hair colour and nothing too fl ashy that screams “hey everybody! look of curly hair?! Everybody loves a bit of to looking their best and fashion plays a primary role in this. The Look at me!” Large collars can also be good, I’m thinking Brad Pitt in character and the ony way to achieve this is to clothes we wear tell people a lot about ourselves. The aim is to buy Ocean’s eleven here. try and be just that little bit different from every clothes that suit our character and allow us to wear them with full con- Jeans should be loose and boot-cut but not fl ared. Another option other Joe Soap walking around campus. fi dence to stand out from the crowd. is to wear jeans with a worn look and rips but be careful where you There are a few basic rules every guy should know; don’t wear black get these. Genius beside the Powerscourt centre offers a selection of SMILES and navy, wear no more then three patterns, avoid buckles on shoes, Diesel jeans, though they can be pricy. We’ve all seen them, girls who wander around avoid shiny shoes, avoid shiny Blazers can add a touch of class to the overall act and are particu- the place like lost souls. The weight of the world buckled shoes, don’t larly suited to a night on the town. Dark colours are preferable and on their shoulders. You just want to give them a wear jeans too tight fi tted cord blazers can also be quite stylish. BT2 and Jigsaw, both on good shake! For God’s sake lighten up! Maybe or bright. Thankful- Grafton Street carry a wide range of designer names although both even smile occassionally! You’ll feel better and ly the eighties has are rather costly. put everybody else in a good mood too. Plus, passed and we there’s nothing more attactive to the opposite are all still here. sex than a beaming smile. One of the Avoid buckles on shoes, most important avoid shiny shoes, avoid EATING factors is to wear There’s nothing worse than going out for din- clothes that actu- shiny buckled shoes ner with somebody who’ll hum and haa over ally fi t. Make sure whether or not they’ll have a starter or a des- your not sport- For everyday wear a more urban casual look is suggested. This sert, and then eventually picking at the food as ing three-quarter entails a mixture of the ever reliable hoodie, polo shirts, t-shirts, com- if it’s going to fight back as soon as it arrives. lengths and then bat trousers or plain old trackies. Stores such as ‘Tribe’ (St. Stephens Eat a good wholesome meal! And don’t waf- try calling them Green centre) offer surfer-style T-shirts and hoodies along with casual fle on for half an hour during the meal about a pair of jeans or combats and loose-fi tting cords. Top-man, Jack and Jones and River how you’ll have to starve yourself for two weeks even have people Island offer affordable ranges of casual shirts, t-shirts, jeans, combats afterwards. thinking and coats/jackets. that However, these stores are less about individuality and more about catering for the masses. Urban Outfi tters in Temple Bar is also worth a look. Accessories such as funky belts, colourful scarf’s, matching beanie hats and wide-strapped watches can help jazz up the blandest of outfi ts. Genius, Tribe or Top-man can both help you out in this department. BIN it For the more adventurous shoppers out there the addition of a smart, fi tted cardigan to any outfi t is my hot tip. Yes, I METALLIC said cardigan. Why not match a tight fi tting cardigan up with Bags, shoes, belts, hair-bands. Anything met- a stylish shirt and tie? alic. The eighties are over, deal with it. Sleeveless jumpers seem to be fi nding their way back into stores this season. It is recommended these jumpers with- SKIRTS OVER TROUSERS out sleeves be accompanied by a t-shirt/shirt underneath Skirts were never meant to be worn over trou- to achieve the right look. Stripes on polo shirts of thin-wool sers. You’re a big girl now. Make the decision. A jumpers can be good. Bright colours coming up to the sum- skirt OR a pair of trousers. You look bloody ridicu- mer is recommended. lous. Especially over blue jeans. Recently I grew frustrated with Dublin’s offering of fashion and ventured to buy clothes over the net. American stores EXCESS MAKE-UP such as Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister and American It’s really awful when a really attractive girl goes eagle offer quality clothing at affordable prices online. This and spoils it all by caking herself in make-up means you don’t have to be restricted to buying from these and orange paint. The natural look is always the stores on your J1 as they deliver right to your door all year most attractive. Although sometimes a touch of round. make-up is alright So hopefully you get at least one or two helpful tips here if you just haven’t or perhaps learned a lesson or two. Maybe you will stop quite got the Delta wearing those jeans at a dangerous level above the waist Goodrem look. line. But remember clothes are statements; they project our But for God’s sake image to the world so choose wisely. don’t over do it. College Tribune 14.02.06 FASHION 19 A Passion for Fashion Elizabeth-Ann Kirwan talks to up and coming fashionista Antonia Campbell-Hughes about her breakthrough into the fashion world, acting and dressing the stars.

A tall, slender girl walks into the When asked what celebrity she ences render her pieces distinctive; people to be more creative in what enjoyed her time on set. Working with lounge of the Capital Hotel, unwind- would ideally love to dress, Camp- they invoke the macabre of destruc- they wear. Jordan is something she is very posi- ing a long, fur scarf from around bell-Hughes says she doesn’t really tion, the delicacy of natural structures A former judge on the UCD Fashion tive about, who is, she says ‘really her neck. A short haircut, defi ned know, or at least it’s not something and the freshness of reinvention. Es- Show Young Designer panel, Camp- very nice, very lovely.’ by a straight-cut fringe, marks her she thinks about often. For her, a col- sentially, they are unique. bell-Hughes is resolute in her opinion Over the next few months, Camp- out from the quietly chatting lunch- lection is an ‘organic process’, which It is unsurprising, then, that such that competition judges should be as bell-Hughes can be seen in an action- time offi ce crowd. comes together among the different individualistic people as PJ Harvey, much involved in the practicalities of packed BBC period drama, Black- Unmistakably, it is Antonia Camp- pieces to create an overall concept. Marilyn Manson, Skin from Skunk fashion as possible, be they design- beard, alongside James Purefoy, bell-Hughes, the artist-designer One-off pieces are not what Antonia Anansie, Stefan Olsdal of Placebo ers, photographers, or stylists. These in which she did all her own stunts. whose work fascinated critics from Campbell-Hughes is about. and, Mischa Barton of OC fame have events are so important for young de- Filming in Malta, she was the only girl her fi rst year as an undergraduate She admits laughingly however, all bought from her. Mischa Barton, signers; “it’s your time to be creative, among a cast of ‘ships and boys and fashion student. Softly spoken, with that she would not refuse something known for her own particular brand as a student”. it was, the best summer of my life.’ a uniquely blended accent that sug- for the Golden Globes but that it would of clothes sense, recently featured in A student can be working on an She is also involved in the Channel gests a well-traveled youth, she is re- have to be for someone who was gen- Harpers and Queen wearing a dress idea for months beforehand and the 4 adaptation of Julie Burchill’s Sugar laxed and engaging. uinely interested in her creations. She by Antonia Campbell-Hughes. focus at this stage in their career is Rush, and a sitcom with Jack Dee, out A little over six years ago, Campbell- not commercial, but purely artistic. in April. So it seems creativity breeds Hughes, a fi rst year fashion student, When I began my journey through That is why, according to Campbell- creativity, and Campbell-Hughes in- won the Grafton Academy Challenge the fashion world, I looked at my Hughes, a P.R. related judge is not as deed echoes her pieces in her life, Cup, a prestigious award associated creations with the eye of an artist - desirable as someone who works in evolving as a fashion designer and an with people of the caliber of Paul Cos- fashion as art, as it were fashion and does not look at pieces actor. Not only that but she has been tello and Ib Jorgensen, graduates of as a consumer. involved in song-writing, has sung the Grafton Academy. cites an example from a recent celeb- How does Campbell-Hughes react She laments the loss of such award with various punk bands and current- From this came a snowballing of rity-reality competition, where some to her designs being promoted by a ceremonies as the Smirnoff Interna- ly dates Irishman Drew McConnell, high-profi le work experience which well-known soap stars were battling it mainstream fashion icon? tional Fashion Awards, now no longer bassist with Babyshambles. was ‘invaluable’ for the young de- out to prove themselves as singers. “It’s great, I didn’t know they were an annual event. Campbell-Hughes Right now she says she is concen- signer; a year in New York with Donna The agent of one telephoned to ask going to use that dress, but obviously also says that judging design com- trating on acting, but is already work- Karan, a year of internships in Lon- if Campbell-Hughes would send along it’s a great thing…in fact that dress petitions is something she thoroughly ing on Spring Summer 2007. “I’ve don followed by a return to Dublin a box of her clothes for the “celebrity” is in Topshop, modeled on one from enjoys, as she is always interested just taken a season out, but I am not where she combined college and af- to wear in competition. But as Camp- Spring 2003; it’s now there in black in whose star is in the ascent. When slacking.” How has she come so far in ter-school work at our very own John bell-Hughes herself put it, “That’s not and more affordable than the price- asked who she would consider ‘up such a short space of time? Her own Rocha. really what I do”. tag from the photo-shoot.” and coming’ as a designer, she re- inherent charm may be part of the Campbell-Hughes is known for her Initially, Campbell-Hughes started Collaborating with Topshop at the plies, “Olivia Hegarty, she’s with Hus- reason, but she admits herself that use of leather as a contrast fabric out as someone with a vision for her moment is something Campbell- sein Chalayan at the moment, she’s she, ‘just worked really, really hard’ to within pieces. One of the reasons for interpretation of fashion and this is Hughes is very passionate about. so pro-active and she’s breaking the do something she loves. this concentration of leather was the something she tries to hold true to. She, along with Ali Malek, Joanne mould as an Irish designer”. Antonia’s collections can be viewed obvious luxury of working with such She admits, “when I began my journey Hynes and B Julie are all involved as For her part, Antonia Campbell- at www.antoniacampbell-hughes.com a material. However, as a young stu- through the fashion world, I looked at the designers for the Dublin fl agship Hughes has taken a season out from The Grafton Academy of Dress dent based in Ireland and trying to set my creations with the eye of an artist; store. Campbell-Hughes feels that it collections in order to fully concen- Designing is based in Herbert Place, up a label, sourcing fabric from big- fashion as art, as it were.” is important for people to have the op- trate on acting. “It’s something I’ve al- Dublin and offer night courses to order suppliers was diffi cult, so the in- She takes her inspiration from natu- portunity to wear what they want and ways done and had an interest in, and would-be fashion designers or any- corporation of leather was a creative ral forms: skeletal remains of insects, “to experiment with layers and colours now I’m giving it real time.” Recently one who has an interest in designing answer to a practical drawback which natural ageing processes, decay and looks”, and Topshop provides this seen in Neil Jordan’s Breakfast on and making their own clothes. proved successful. through water over time. These infl u- chance. Essentially, this encourages Pluto, Campbell-Hughes thoroughly www.graftonacademy.com College Tribune 20 DISTRACTIONS 14.02.06 FILM A flawed love story

Walk the Line 7/10

The demographic of ‘UCD stu- really the story of Cash’s life at all, dents’ is unlikely to be overfl owing rather it charts the epic love story be- with fans of Johnny Cash’s music tween himself and his eventual wife, and apart from the privilege of be- June Carter. ing present at a couple of concerts If you were a die hard Cash fan this where a rendition of ‘Ring of Fire’ might leave you feeling a little short destroy him. tress and her performance as June tainly not what you might call a ‘chick by Chris Martin sent the crowd changed, but for the most of us, a Unfortunately, the script limits him, Carter is undoubtedly accurate, but fl ick’. In particular, we get an interest- into a state of delirium, your corre- good love story might be just what and his periods of brilliance are pain- the result is a painfully jolly woman ing insight into what the music indus- spondent would have no previous we need to get our bloods fl owing on fully diluted by the romance which that you’re going to want to slap. The try was like before the world shrank experience of the Man In Black. these cold winter days. marks the majority of the fi lms pas- fact that her singing has been widely to the size of a tennis-ball. However, the fact that Coldplay’s Joaquin Phoenix’s performance sage. Romantic elements are present accepted as impressive would make The idea of America’s biggest front man referred to him as ‘one of as Cash is nothing less than superb, in most movies but it is rarely in this you wonder what previous genera- and brightest stars car-pooling from the greatest singer-songwriters of all and certainly the movies strongest element where our actors truly distin- tions regarded as music. It’s like the venue to venue these days would time’ was praise enough to have this feature. His genius shines through guish themselves, and Phoenix could lyrical equivalent of ‘Murder She be slightly comedic, ‘Madonna were student eager to see the recently re- in the musical performances, the miss out on the Oscar he deserves Wrote’, most likely played over and going to have to put your ego in the leased fi lm charting his troubled life. scenes of domestic confl ict and most because this movie went a little too far over in hell to torture the damned. boot’, but so it was back in the day. One of the fi rst things you will fi nd particularly during the period in which down the road of Mills and Boons. Not to be over critical however, It’s worth a look. with this movie however, is that it isn’t his drug addiction seems certain to Reese Witherspoon is a fi ne ac- Walk the Line is a good fi lm and cer- n Barra Ò Fianail Sex and food

Short Order 6/10

From a distance Short Order is a beautiful fi lm. Every scene is exquisite- ly shot, vibrant colours, smoky streets, and pitch- Aeon Flux black shadows giving the whole affair a fairy tale 6/10 feeling. However, under the mi- croscope, Anthony Byrne’s movie appears slightly con- trived at times. It’s not al- Theron to Something… ways as wise as it portrays itself to be. Men of the world, rejoice. The girl in the future will Aeon confers with her leader by swallowing those The story follows the be bendable Barbie’s dressed in cat suits, with Alice-in-Wonderland pills they had in The Matrix, that exploits of several different science labs in their platforms (coming soon to a allow her to travel deep within her body. Her comrade professionals of the culinary BT2 near you). has hands instead of feet. The term “blades of grass” business, whose lives are, Aeon Flux is the new sci-fi starring Oscar Winner has never been taken so literally. Fair enough. Until it of course, interconnected. Charlize Theron but the last time an Oscar-winning starts getting a tad bit complicated. There’s the stunningly Chief among these is Paulo’s battle of beauty decided to don Lycra and attempt martial arts A unique love story, the issue of cloning, and in- beautiful cook Fiona, the eccentric, slightly wits with a food journalist whom he sus- resulted in the catastrophic ‘Catwoman’. triguing arguments about the meaning of life are all psychotic master chef Paulo, and the deep pects of planning to leave without paying Despite this unfortunate legacy, not to mention the addressed…but unfortunately the answers seem to yet naive courier Catherine, to name but the bill. These Highwaymen of the Daily terrible reception Aeon Flux got in the States, It could have been discarded somewhere on the cutting room a few. The ensemble cast is undeniably Bread are apparently the scourge of the have been a lot worse. fl oor, and are instead replaced with some ever-popu- excellent. town, and Paulo has rather a unique way The plot unfolds in a post-viral-holocaust world, in lar girl-on-girl martial action. Food and sex are the main interests of of dealing with them; he chops their fi ngers which the leaders of a small, walled city are drifting into A silly story, dialogue that includes such riveting this unusual bunch. In fact often through- off. fascism, supposedly in the name of the social good. statements as “Uh-oh, here they come!” and “Things out the fi lm food becomes directly equated Other scenes, however, seem preten- People are disappearing. There are unexplained are getting complicated!” and some truly unnecessary to sex; bread dough, eggs and hotdogs all tious rather than novel. Fiona and Cather- memories that keep popping into people’s heads. gore make this sci-fi …well, pretty much like every taking their turns to represent different as- ine, for example, talk about how life is like A large vessel like a Portuguese man o’ war other sci-fi of the past 10 years. pects of the Sexual Experience. a movie, which has been done before. A fl oats overhead, inside which one-time Oscar Pete The special effects are striking, the action’s excit- Whether or not one can truly get away lot. Postlethwaite seems to have been dredged in fl our ing and fast-paced, and there’s someone for every with comparing an orgasm to a buttered In the end Short Order is like a meal and stuffed into a Japanese lantern. And a rebel group individual to drool over. So when your’ other choice scone is beside the point. Overlook the that combines steak and potatoes and car- has formed, of which Aeon (Theron) is the ultimate is Chicken Little, you can’t really complain, now can dodgy philosophy and you will see that rots, and everything nice, with coleslaw- assassin. Her mission is to kill the leader of this re- you? there are some wonderful set pieces at better in parts than as a whole. gime. n Roe McDermott hand. n Alex Tierney College Tribune 14.02.06 FILM 21 O OSCARS S C

With the Oscars just a whisker

And The Winner Is…… away, Mark Walsh runs the rule A over the various categories and Predictability examines Hollywood’s return to good old fashioned 70’s values R S

It appears to be impossible to read the awards season thus far. Best Original Screenplay Award for Mil- The Line) who, like Hoffman, has swept back Mountain), all of whom appear to anything to do with cinema these If the bookies are to be believed, the lion Dollar Baby last year but is unfor- all before her this year and looks set be nominated due to lack of alternatives days without coming across the fi nal results on the night should be just tunate to be nominated alongside two to continue the trend, though Felic- rather than outstanding performances phrase “reaction to Bush’s Ameri- as predictable, given that a clear favour- industry greats. The two fi rst-time nomi- ity Huffman’s (Lynette from Desperate in their own right. ca.” It would give this writer great ite exists in all of the ‘Big 6’ categories. nees George Clooney (Good Night, and Housewives) portrayal of a post-op In the other awards categories, the pleasure to promise a deviation from In the Best Motion Picture category Good Luck) and Bennett Miller (Capote) transsexual in Transamerica may pro- lack of a Pixar release last year means this theme and omit such obvious Brokeback Mountain seems to have a seem unlikely to cause an upset. vide some interesting competition. Pre- that Nick Park’s Wallace & Gromit in observations but, alas, it’s just not clear edge over the rest having already vious Best Actress winners Judi Dench The Curse of the Were-Rabbit should possible. pipped the competition to the Best Film The nominees (Mrs. Henderson Presents) and Charl- be good enough to beat Tim Burton’s Anyone seeking confi rmation that awards at the Golden Globes, Direc- ize Theron (North Country) are also Corpse Bride and previous winner Hollywood is giving the proverbial two tors’ Guild and Producers’ Guild Awards won’t shock nominated, while Keira Knightley (Pride Hayao Miyazaki’s latest effort Hauru fi ngers to the current presidential ad- ceremonies. Of the other contenders, anyone who has & Prejudice) is bidding to become the no Ugoku Shiro to the Best Animated ministration need look no further than Crash may suffer as a result of its early youngest ever winner of the award, she Feature crown. the Oscar nominations for this year. release date, while both Capote and been following will be 20 years and 344 days on the The Best Foreign Language Film Like many of the nominees the Acad- Good Night, and Good Luck appear the awards day of the awards, 239 days younger category is less predictable with Pal- emy is being less than subtle in voicing to lack the epic dimension which the than current record holder Marlee Mat- estine’s fi rst ever Oscar nominated fi lm its opinions; the Best Picture category Academy seem to crave. season thus far lin (Children of a Lesser God). Paradise Now fancied just ahead of alone contains fi lms about gay cow- Munich may be the dark horse in the Probably the most open category of South Africa’s Tsotsi and France’s Joy- boys (Brokeback Mountain), Commu- category as, despite angering those on In the acting categories Philip Sey- the ‘Big 6’ is the Best Supporting Actor eux Noël, which received the country’s nist witch hunts (Good Night, and Good both sides of the Palestine/Israeli con- mour Hoffman is fi nally getting the with any one of 4 nominees in with a nomination ahead of the much debated Luck), racism (Crash), avenging terror- fl ict, the power of a Jewish fi lm in Hol- recognition he deserves following his chance of winning. Paul Giamatti (Cin- March Of the Penguins. ism (Munich) and the death sentence lywood should not be underestimated wins at the Globes and the Screen Ac- derella Man) is odds-on favourite fol- Sophie Scholl-Die Letzten Tage (Capote), add to this list the nomina- and Steven Spielberg’s fi rst best picture tors Guild Awards and, despite Joaquin lowing his victory in the corresponding (Germany) and La Bestia nel Cuore tions for Enron: The Smartest Guys nomination since Saving Private Ryan Phoenix’s (Walk the Line) award in the Screen Actors’ Guild Awards category (Italy) are also nominated. Despite the In The Room, Syriana, The Constant should stand a good outside chance. corresponding Musical/ Comedy cat- but George Clooney’s (Syriana) ear- best efforts of Neil Jordan, Pat McCabe Gardener and Transamerica in other The nominees for Best Director cor- egory at the Globes and Heath Ledg- lier victory at the Globes lends serious and Cillian Murphy (Breakfast on Pluto) categories and it becomes clear that respond exactly to the Best Picture cat- er’s critically acclaimed performance in weight to his chances, while both Matt and Pierse Brosnan (The Matador), the industry is returning to the anti-es- egory and even if Brokeback Mountain Brokeback Mountain, seems a certainty Dillon (Crash) and Jake Gyllenhaal Ireland’s sole nominee at the awards tablishment days of the seventies. fails to win the latter, it would be a trav- to make it a clean sweep of the Best (Brokeback Mountain) warrant con- will be Martin McDonagh, whose quirky Given the list of nominees it would esty if Ang Lee were not victorious here, Actor awards. sideration. William Hurt (A History Of drama Six Shooter is nominated for the not be unreasonable to suggest that his outstanding direction providing the The remaining nominees, Terence Violence) is the only real outsider in the Best Live Action Short Award. Michael Moore would be an appropri- only source of comfort in the overrated Howard (Hustle & Flow, but currently category. Brokeback Mountain tops the nomi- ate host at the Kodak Theatre on 5th drama. Again Lee’s main opposition starring in the sadly neglected Get The Best Supporting Actress cat- nations table with 8, and will probably March, however that honour falls to may come from Spielberg (Munich), Rich or Die Tryin’) and David Strathairn egory provides yet another clear-cut be the big winner on the night, but, be- Jon Stewart (he hosts The Daily Show who has fi nally ditched overwhelming (Good Night, and Good Luck), seem to favourite in the form of Rachel Weisz ing money-on in each of its categories, on Comedy Central, in case you’re special effects in favour of the tense be merely making up the numbers hav- (The Constant Gardener), who is is hardly worth a fl utter; instead opt for wondering). His appointment as host and evocative scenes which made his ing been overlooked for all the major streets ahead of fellow nominees Amy the better value of the Best Actress is probably the biggest surprise of this early work so memorable. awards thus far. Adams (Junebug), Catherine Keener Winner to be dressed in Chanel (appar- year’s Oscars, as the nominees won’t Paul Haggis (Crash) is seeking his The Best Actress nominees are (Capote), Frances McDormand (North ently Witherspoon’s chosen designer) shock anyone who has been following second Oscar, having received the headed by Reese Witherspoon (Walk Country) and Michelle Williams (Broke- available at 3-1 with Paddy Power. College Tribune 22 MUSIC 14.02.06 Interview With The Vampire

In the second of this series. James Redmond talks to Sean Murtagh from IRMA about copyright law in Ireland.

What is the rationale behind the re- cent wave of legal actions against those Irish citizens using peer-to- peer networks? The making available of copyrighted musical works over the Internet with- out the permission of the copyright owner is a breach of that copyright. The “sharing” of illegally copied music fi les is actionable under Irish copyright law, whether money changes hands or not, and it is IRMA’s remit to protect the copyright interests of its’ member record companies.

Is the targeting of downloader’s done on a random basis or do you have a hit list of excessive down- loader’s and uploaders? IRMA is not targeting downloader’s. We are targeting “serial” uploaders, or those who are sharing large numbers of tracks with the online community.

Home taping never killed music, so is this fear of online piracy not similarly unjustifi ed? When someone copied music from an LP or analogue tape, to analogue tape, the copy and every subsequent generation of copies was inferior to Downloader: This man could be a criminal. He could be a bad man. Inset: Sean Murtagh from IRMA the master. Ripping tracks from CDs and burning them to CDRs is, in fact, getting their music to market. Virtually every piece of reliable re- Since when has the right to privacy those networks are fully cleared and “cloning” - each copy is an exact search published on this subject in- been allowed to shield someone from licensed by all copyright owners con- replica of its parent. This is a much Courtney Love has commented dicates that downloader’s buy LESS the consequences of their illegal ac- cerned. The P2P model is a fantastic greater threat to the record industry that “there were a billion music music e.g. Forrester, August 2004: tions? The High Court has held that means of sharing information, but it than home-taping ever was. Bear in downloads last year, but music downloader’s buy 36% less, so I’m not the right of a copyright owner to protect should not be predicated on copyright mind that 1 in 3 CDs worldwide is an sales are up. Where’s the evidence really sure how that claim can really his/her creations from illegal exploita- theft to survive. illegally burned CDR and you will see that downloads hurt business? be justifi ed. As far as artists choos- tion outweighs the right to privacy of that this is not just an industry crying Downloads are creating more de- ing to make their music available for the individual committing that illegality. Given the size, anonymity and de- wolf. mand.” Equally many small and free over the Internet - more power to It should be stressed that IRMA does centred nature of music sharing upcoming bands would disagree them, if that’s what they want to do, not simply go to ISPs and ask them to networks - do you think that this is How does peer-to-peer music shar- with you and go to the other ex- it’s theirs after all to do with as they hand over the details; we ask a High a battle you can win? ing differ from lending CD’s or burn- treme of suggesting that music see fi t. But the overwhelming majority Court judge to decide on the balance Since the summer, Kazaa has ing them for a mate? Is the worry downloads help the music industry of artists do not take this view - they between the various rights involved. been successfully sued in Australia. here the sheer scale of sharing or by speeding up the spreading of see their creations as their property, to Grokster has been successfully sued are you trying to make a principled new music, giving people tasters be protected and to provide them with Is it your intention to seek a clo- in the US and is now closed down. point on copyright here? of what to expect and encouraging an income sure of peer-to-peer networks like Most of the other P2P networks are Making copies of copyrighted music, gig going. Hot Press recently cited Soulseek, LimeWire and Kaaza? now seeking to legitimize their opera- even for your mates, is a breach of Wilco, The Dudley Corporation and Are rights of privacy being sacri- To answer your question, IRMA is tions. I believe this is a battle we are copyright if you don’t have permission Amiee Mann as supporters of this fi ced in forcing an ISP to hand over not seeking to close down any P2P winning, and music will be increas- to do it. What sort of friend gives you idea - but what do you think of such the personal details of peer-to-peer networks - just ensure that all copy- ingly available on legitimate services something that they have stolen? P2P attitudes? fi le sharers? righted fi les which are shared on into the future. sharing, when done without copyright owners permission, is copyright theft on a large-scale. IRMA’s job is to tack- Interview With Computing Services In UCD le piracy wherever it occurs.

Should you not be placing more With IRMA’s recent wave of litiga- er if possible, explain that the activity access to a common repository with the university resources for “potential emphasis on the inequalities of tion against the users of peer-to- is in breech of the AUP www.ucd.ie/ access to individuals to upload their personal gain” is in breech of this as relationship between artists and peer fi le sharing networks, has itservices/acceptable.html and serv- content with authentication. This well as open to claims of “utility theft” record labels rather than chasing UCD ever come across fi le sharing ice will not be restored until a com- would allow illegal content if upload- after fans who may end up contrib- on its network? mitment is given to abstain from this ed to be identifi ed to an individual, Do you think colleges should be uting directly to the artists via gig Illegal use of P2P networks for the activity from within UCD’s network. while providing the service to the made exempt from copyright as tickets or t-shirts? distribution of copyrighted material community, however as mentioned they are institutions of learning? IRMA cannot comment in the private is one of the breeches of the Accept- It seems that UCD has fi rewalls above such a service has not been contractual relationships between art- able Usage Policy (AUP) that have which prevent the use of fi le shar- requested. Again, you will need to contact the ist and their record companies. It is and are detected on the UCD net- ing programmes on its server - is It should also be noted that the Uni- University’s Legal Offi ce for a reply to always convenient, when people want work. this not interfering with the rights versity’s Acceptable Usage Policy this question. While there could be an to have a go at record companies, to of students to use such services (AUP) refers to our AUP with HEANet argument in this area it would prob- wheel out the argument that they are If so what action would the college for the legal exchange of fi les they (our ISP) This states that the network ably apply to relevant material not the ripping off artists, but nowadays, art- take? hold rights over such as photos, is for educational and research use. vast majority of content available on ists are probably in a much stronger UCD Computing Services withdraw mp3s of their own bands etc? www.heanet.ie/about/policy. P2P networks i.e. Major Categories bargaining position than ever before, network service from the offending html#usage of content would be Copyright Mate- given that there are now other ways of machine, contact the registered own- One possibility would be to provide It is debatable whether the use of rial (Music / Film), Porn and Wares College Tribune 14.02.06 MUSIC 23 GIGWATCH Marshal Rising Listings from 15th February Jonathon Kilbane speaks to Michael from The Marshals about their name On Campus change, therapy, superseding Bob Dylan and the roots of their music Tuesday 14th Indie kids have your converse “We didn’t mind at all. It was cool trainers and studded belts at the to be nominated. We went along February ready. If their journey thus far and had a good night.” serves as a sign of what is yet Marshall’s introduction on the un- n Valentine’s Ball. SU Bar. The Mar- to come, The Marshals are set suspecting public comes at a time shalls. to accelerate into overdrive this when rock bands are the toast of year. the music scene in Dublin. But the The group formed just three strong competition isn’t something Every Wednesday years ago after a short but thor- that fazes them. n Open Mic Nights. ough search of the internet and the “I think the scene is really healthy. Every Wednesday in the Forum Bar Dublin music scene. “We had one We’re going to be different from the around 8pm. Admission Free. rehearsal, it went really well so we UK because of the story-telling tra- stayed as we were,” explains front- dition we have rooted in music over man and founding member Michael here. There are some really great Mon 13th/20th and John. bands around the country at the s The tunes have been described moment and they could defi nitely Tue 21 as ‘fi ery pop with an upbeat feel’ The Marshals: Having a top laugh. As you can see not in a JCB give most UK bands a run for their n Battle of the Bands 2006. SU Bar. t and are shaping up to be an inte- money.” Feb. 20:00. gral part of the soundtrack of 2006. dues. “We had done a lot of slog- main musical inspiration and freely When asked about where he Admission Free. See Posters. Originally called Marshall Stars, ging up until that point. The three of admits his admiration sometimes hopes to see The Marshals in fi ve Qualifi ed so far: Bravest Kid in a name inspired by the Western us had been up and down to Cork, borders on obsession. Bob Dy- years, Michael replies surprisingly. School, The Internet. movie High Noon, the band were playing any possible place we could lan is also held in high regard, al- He sounds refreshingly modest in forced to shorten it to simply, Mar- fi nd. In the space of two months though he humbly admits that a bit comparison to most budding rock shal. But as popular music history we had a manager and after that it more work and time will be needed ‘n’ roll stars. This unassuming Off Campus has taught us, copyright battles for happened quite quickly.” to meet the great man’s dizzying stance seems mild in comparison band names are ten a penny. The A&R calls soon beckoned heights. with what appeared to be a clear Tuesday 14th The story goes that an uncom- and a number of labels were jos- “You put on a Bob Dylan CD and career trajectory they have been promising culprit somewhere in the tling for their attention and the all you think ‘I have to try harder’.” paving. February UK reared their head to claim they important signatures. Many would agree that it would be “Two or three really good albums. n 19:30. The Music of Dean Martin and had prior rights to a similar name. “Everything happened very inevitable to fall short of such high Good recognition. Good fun. And a the Rat Pack. “We had to drop the ‘star’s which quickly. We did a gig in West Cork standards. chateau in France thrown in also”. n Vicar St. €22.50. caused much distress and tears in front of ten punters and two la- They are all round good sports. It’s beginning to look like it will be n 20:00 RTE Concert Orchestra. Love to be shed amongst the lads. We bels, which was a bit bizarre. Then Earlier this month they failed to theirs for the taking. is in the Air. reached closure after a few weeks we got offered a deal and ten days lay a trophy on the mantelpiece at Make her cry (Faction/ Vertigo) National Concert Hall. €15-35 from in therapy”, jokes Michael (I hope later we were in London.” The Mar- home, when they missed out on the is out on Friday the 10th. The band Ticketmaster. because I laughed). shals were on their way. Meteor Hope for 2006 award. But play UCD’s Valentine’s Ball on the Wednesday 15th From the point of forming to get- Michael like many musicians they didn’t take it personally and 14th of February in the Student Bar n 19:30 Gemma Hayes. ting signed, Marshall paid their credits the Beatles as being their were gracious in defeat. and Whelans on the 18th. Vicar St. €22.50 n 20:00 Rising Star Recital. Eliza- beth Cooney (violin ) and Dabiel Hill The long arm of DeGraw (piano). National Concert Hall. €10-15 n 20:00 The Reverb. Dublin four-piece Owen Priestley and Ruth Davey ride in on their Chariot of fi re to launch their debut single ‘Stuck in meet singer songwriter Gavin DeGraw and ask him about being a Berlin’. singer songwriter and other stuff like recording an album in one take Whelan’s. €5. Gavin DeGraw is best known as the singer “It really deals with having a strong identity, not “It was Thursday 16th songwriter who wrote and performed the following the fucking pack, like everyone does important n 21:00 Isotope Jazz Sessions. theme tune (‘I Don’t Want to Be’) to US TV se- and having your own opinion.” to make it J.J Smyths €8 ries ‘One Tree Hill’ something he attributes a The theme of individuality runs through every- sound anti n 21:00 Electronic People. lot of his success to and regards as his big thing that he says. He strongly believes in fi nding pop in a way. Rogue Bar €4 break in terms of exposure. beauty in the simple things and not always push- We didn’t in- Friday 17th Playing piano since age eight he got his mu- ing for more than is already there. He explains tentionally try and n 18:00 King Creosote. Folk music. sical education playing with his brother’s cover with reference to his own lyrics. get a bad fi del- Crawdaddy €14/16 band. He studied music at Berkeley and decided “The idea is I was not satisfi ed anymore with ity sound. We n 19:30. Emerald Promotions present: to make a stab at a solo career in New York City. the simple things. I thought ok cherries are good didn’t have Hypocrisy. His success was instant and he signed with J but I need chocolate covered cherries. It’s a very the time to TBMC. €23.75 from www.ticlets.ie Records (Santana, Alicia Keys and Angie Stone). simple way of saying that I and us as society are make the 22:30 Live Jazz Quartet He has been described as “destined for Star- really stuck up trying to improve things that are shit sound M.B Slattery’s dom” by “Time Out NY”. He released his fi rst solo already good like nature.” perfect n 23:00 Kiss. album “Chariot” in 2003 to huge critical acclaim Gavin went on to re-record the album as so we just Club for gay girls and their male friend and has been touring since. ‘Chariot Stripped’ and the album is now sold as said fuck TBMC He is currently in the studio recording his sec- a double CD with all the tracks on the second CD lets record. n 23:30 Breakology Presents: ond album. were recorded in one take, an impressive feat yet Hang micro- Spitloop & Evil Nine. Dance. DeGraw seems, outwardly at least, seems as if something he is dismissive of. phones around Crawdaddy €15 he is perfectly comfortable with his growing fame “I like the album that we made but I didn’t feel the room, no retakes, no over dubs, no auto tunes and relishing every minute. we had encompassed everything that I had to and we did that album in one day.” Saturday 18th Perfectly balanced on the hind legs of his chair offer the songs. It’s always interesting to hear a He describes his songs as his journals, as his n 19:30 Hospital and Clampdown. he replies. “I don’t think I have a favourite [track different variety of the same song. It’s like when way of describing relationships between people TBMC. on Chariot]. As far as importance is concerned, you hear, The Beatles do a song that would be that he loves. If the next album is half as good n 19:30 Delays. I think, ‘I Don’t Want to Be’ simply because there the same as Neil Jones would do. When you hear as his debut then it is hoped he has a lot more The Village €17.50 are different messages there than the typical Willie Nelson do a song that Aretha Franklin did. relationships to write about. n 20:00 Isobel Campbell. messages. It’s cool to hear different interpretations. ‘Chariot’ by Gavin DeGraw is out now. College Tribune 24 MUSIC 14.02.06 AURAL EXAMINATIONS

JASON MRAZ: REGINA SPEKTOR ANE BRUN LIAM MCDERMOTT MR. A-Z MARY ANN MEETS THE A TEMPORARY DIVE THE MAYBE PILE Mr. A-Z is a quiet album, full of radio-friendly pop GRAVEDIGGERS ‘A Temporary Dive’ is the latest release from Citing infl uence from The Kinks, The Beach Boys, hooks, ie. beautiful piano and dreamlike bluesy This is an intense album. There is something Norwegian singer/songwriter Ane Brun and is as The Beatles and Stevie Wonder amongst others, compositions. Which, obviously, calls to mind about really serious female musicians, something stunning as 2003s ‘Spending time with Morgan’. McDermott is a rare gem. A young man with a pas- Slint’s ‘Spiderland’. One of the greatest, hard- in their music that commands your attention in a It consists of 12 beautiful tracks that are equal sionate love for music, he successfully re-estab- est, bleakest albums of the ‘90s but completely lishes a ‘holy trinity’ of perfect pop - sophisticated very specifi c way. Nina Simone, Bjork, Tori Amos, parts placid and arousing. ignored as ‘inaccessible’, it is an exercise on why Diamanda Galas: all of these possess this quality, melodies, bouncing rhythms and delightfully witty not to give up on music that sounds different to The album seems to refl ect a somewhat dif- lyrics. Whether revelling in jaunty, theatrical pop so does Regina Spektor. fi cult period for Brun, and her struggle is evident the norm. As opposed to the likes of Avril Lavigne and her (‘I need to get away’, ‘Frances Mills’) or refl ect- in the potent lyrics of ‘The Fight Song’ and ‘My Jason Mraz has the same problem for differ- peers, you are guaranteed to notice any of these ing on fi rst love (‘Don’t be late’) McDermott gets it Lover Will Go.’ The combination of delicate string ent reasons. The growing indie-mania should artists in the background of a café or at a party. It is right every time. His enthusiasm is infectious, his undoubtedly be seen as the good thing it is. Yet, charm and subtlety a delight. for this reason they aren’t played in those places. arrangements and soft percussion on ‘Humming while ‘Spiderland’ died under the blanket of 80’s ‘The Maybe Pile’ is heart breaking but never With Regina Spektor what captures your atten- One of Your Songs’ blend effortlessly with Bruns’ synth, Mraz could suffer a different kind of de- mawkish, eclectic but never self-indulgent. Com- tion fi rst is her voiceæpowerful then fragile, soar- voice and guitar. cline. bining youthful enthusiasm and uncertainty with a ing then monotone, fl owing then staccato, from Her soft guitar plucking on ‘Where Friend ‘Mr. A-Z’ is a pop album with some strikingly good touching world-weariness, he seems an old soul jazz goddess to queen of the man-eaters, abso- Rhymes with End’ is reminiscent of Nick Drakes songs. Whereas once it would have provided the who has seen it all - life, love, even death are con- head-boppers for an all-request-music-hour, in the lutely effortless, always captivating. folk style and again is complemented by subtle templated. current climate it will no doubt be relegated to the ‘Mary Ann…’ is an album comprised of songs strings. The album also features a duet with Ca- And yet, it never over-reaches - what could be collections of hard-core pop enthusiasts: fans of she wrote when she was eighteen and over the nadian artist Ron Sexsmith. an embarrassing drama feels like a cosy chat with the likes of Rufus Wainwright and Elvis Costello. years as she worked on her previous two albums. ‘Song No. 6’ is the only offering of an up- a master storyteller. His musings on the mean- This is a shame; although it is about fi fteen min- The music and the lyrics have the same air beat tempo on the album but is not out of place ing of life and love are simultaneously intimately of improvisation as really good beat poetry, you utes too long, over-produced and contains some amongst the other melancholic tracks. A mini- personal and universal - you fi nd yourself nodding fi nd yourself wondering where she is getting her wildly out of place R&B, this is a great album that mal amount of production preserves the organic along in agreement, humming along to the hooks channels more than a little Jack Johnson and An- breaths from. and tapping your feet in gleeful abandon. McDer- quality & seductiveness of Bruns’ bluesy voice. tony and the Johnsons. Her piano work is interesting in itself, look out mott is bringing us back to basics - stripped of ego, Songs such as ‘Mr Curiosity’, ‘Geek in the for the one note a bar ‘Consequence of Sounds’ Whilst she is not as experimental in her sound devoid of pretension, here is music that demands Pink’, and ‘Song for a Friend’ would be a perfect and for the waltzy ‘Sailor Song’. as fellow Scandinavian artists Bjork and Stina to be enjoyed. Songs disguised as gentle anec- addition to the I-Pod’s of the stoned, the hung- If you like Tori Amos, Jolie Holland or Coco Ro- Nordenstam, a similar haunting air and a chilling dotes betray a depth of experience, craftsmanship over and the tired and middle-aged everywhere. sie you might want a look at this. twang pervades this album. An enjoyable listen. and introspection - and all this at 22? Enjoy.

9/10 KINGSLEY KELLY 6/10 RONAN DEMPSEY 8/10 FIONA HEDDERMAN 8/10 DEIRDRE MAGUIRE

ROCKY VOTOLATO CAMPBELL & LANEGAN CLAP YOUR HANDS THE KOOKS: MAKERS BALLAD OF THE BROKEN CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY INSIDE IN/INSIDE OUT The image of the introspective, shoe-gazing SEAS YEAH The Kooks hail from Brighton and despite being troubadour has taken a serious beating of late. What began as a mutual appreciation society of The momentum of the so-called ‘New Rock Rev- a very young band (they range from 17 to 19) The acoustic guitar and one-man-band genre sorts has evolved into a fully fl edged duets al- olution’ is fl agging. Most evident in the recent they have put together an eclectic arrangement has become the favourite of the ‘music-by-num- bum. Isobel Campbell of Belle & Sebastian fame successes of Montreal’s fi nest, it would appear of songs, drawing on various genres of music. bers’ crowd, recently reaching a new low in the has joined forces with Queens of the Stone Age that a slow but defi nite backlash against squared, As a result it is not easy to pin down their guise of that pissy purveyor of steaming fecal singer/producer Mark Lanegan. The result is an choppy and lively music is taking shape. sound - lashings of spiky guitars and a dollop of donkey-wank: James Blunt. intriguing collection of songs with hints of coun- CYHSY are a band that wear their infl uences sunny soul, and that’s just the beginning. It was to a great surprise therefore that the try and folk infl uences. on their sleeves. The problem is, no-one seems ‘Eddie’s Gun’ is a worryingly enjoyable ode to fi rst play of Rocky Votolato’s debut ‘Makers’ was Delivered in a subdued and understated style, to be able to agree on what those infl uences are: erectile dysfunction. “I hope I’m not the only one” received. From the fi rst notes of ‘White Daisy it all adds up to be a very pleasing offering. The Talking Heads, Neutral Milk Hotel, Yo La Tengo, he sings cheekily – a brilliant lead single, full of Passing’ the record seems to have resurrected fusion of their voices, the rough, dark sounding the Arcade Fire and Radiohead being some at- genuine rock spirit. the ghost of Elliot Smith and introduced it to tone of Lanegan (reminiscent of a certain Mr tempts. The opening track, ‘Seaside’ and the third Ryan Adams. The whole albums atmosphere Cave) and the angelic voice of Campbell, offers This debut album from the Brooklyn band track ‘Sofa Song’ offer another side to the Kooks, recalls the stylistics of the New Acoustic Move- us an interesting juxtaposition. is more than just the sum of its parts. From a bluesier feel, and exemplify the range that they ment of the late ‘90s, and not in a bad way. The barest of production accompanies and the bouncy organ of quirky opener ‘Clap Your possess. ‘The Night’s Disguise’ is given the same treat- allows the vocals to take centre stage. Black Hands!’ listeners are led through a labyrinthine Along with ‘Eddie’s Gun’, ‘You Don’t Love Me’ ment as the production on Willy Mason’s album Mountain seems so intent on lodging itself in amalgamation of signature bass lines, custom- is the stand out track on the album. It is a thrash- ‘Where the Humans Eat’ from last year. Other your brain you might as well succumb, resist- built drum tracks, intelligent guitar playing and ing, crashing pop-stomp injection of rejection of tunes like ‘Streetlights’ and ‘Tinfoil Hats’call to ance is futile. delightfully emotive and original vocal lines. “on the sofa existence”, defi nitely one to dance mind the current crop of alt-American contribu- ‘Ramblin’ Man’ makes you want to grab your Soft textures, gentle climaxes, subtle arrange- to. tions. Stetson and cowboy boots and shout yee-ha ment and melancholic yet uplifting melodies give Essentially the album is an exhilarating as- The lyrics are deep - a pair of infl atable arm- (albeit in a very cool and reserved manner). Its this album the atmosphere of a nursery rhyme sault of three-minute power pop songs proving bands is advisable. Votolato can be comfortably rightful home is in a Tarantino movie and is a for adults. that The Kooks are heavily armed with a deft counted amongst the more interesting musi- crying shame if it is never bestowed such an Standout ‘The Skin of my Yellow Country force of crafting the most infectious hooks. cians of today, Bright Eyes and Sufjan Stevens. honour. Teeth’ takes a disco beat and makes it soothing A few of the songs are a tad weak, but then Hopefully ‘Makers’ will get his name out in the And ‘(Do You Wanna) Come Walk With Me’ by mixing it with simple, clear guitar lines, what again the album is 14 tracks so it is to be ex- public domain…but not too much or he will lose is a delicious slice of summery 60’s folk. This is can only be described as a jovial bass line. pected. Overall: an excellent debut album, much all credibility because liking any musician with an overall consistent collection, which will satisfy This album is recommended for anyone look- more deserving of the hype surrounding Maximo more than fi fty fans is just so very lame. existing fans and entice new ones to the fold. ing for something a little different. Park.

8/10 ALAN TULLY 8/10 JONATHAN KILBANE 7/10 RONAN DEMPSEY 7/10 KEVIN MURPHY College Tribune 14.02.06 HEALTH 25 Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow Alopecia is an unpredictable disease that affects both men and women, it is often hard to come to terms with and very little is known about it writes Caitrina Cody

Hair. To most of us it’s a fact of life, some- Usually the most important question for newly thing that’s rarely thought about but of im- diagnosed sufferers is whether the hair will re- mense importance nonetheless. To many of turn or not. Unfortunately the condition is to- us it’s a part of our identity; something that tally unpredictable, and although most people tells the world a little bit about who we are as do experience some extent of re-growth, there individuals, whether that’s blue mohawked are others that will never completely regain their free spirits or glamorous Jennifer Aniston hair. Initial re-growth can be patchy and in some copycats. cases can occur without pigmentation. In our images of ourselves our hair usually Even for people who do grow their hair again, fi gures prominently and it would seem impossi- there is no guarantee that it won’t fall out again, ble to visualise ourselves without it. Of course, a fact that can be extremely discouraging. It is there will be times when we feel that we would important to remember that throughout the dis- almost be better off without hair, usually on one order the stem cells attached to the hair follicles of our infamous ‘bad hair days’ when our nor- do not become damaged so there is always a mally cultivated tresses are shiny with grease or potential to re-grow hair at any stage of the con- windblown disasters. dition. However, the term ‘bad hair day’ can take on Most distressing of all, there is no offi cial cure. a whole new meaning when you are one of the There are a range of treatments available, each millions of men, women and children around the with their own strengths and weaknesses but globe who suffer from alopecia. To those of us there is little defi nitive evidence that any of these who haven’t expe- will produce results. rienced it, alopecia Many sufferers feel Treatments include may be something isolated and alone applications of topi- that is unfamiliar to cal steroid creams, us. due to the lack of injections of Minoxidil To the average public support and prescription drugs person, hair is some- such as Rogaine. thing to be taken for granted and the possibility It is essential that sufferers do not place all that we will not always have it has simply not en- their hopes in these treatments however as they tered our minds. It is usually not something that can give no guarantee of recovery. Often people we are well informed about until we become af- with the disorder must accept that the condition fl icted with it ourselves or a family member does. is beyond their control. Counselling can often Laura was nineteen and having just fi n- that you will never grow your hair back again.’ Statistics tell us that approximately 1.7 percent help people with the disorder to come to terms ished her fi rst year in UCD when she began She couldn’t contemplate life without her hair of the world’s population suffers from alopecia, a with the loss of what after all is a big part of our to lose her hair. It was extremely gradual at and felt an over-powering sense of injustice. devastating condition that affects more that one identity. fi rst and indeed the fi rst clue she had that She felt resentful towards other people, even in every hundred of us. A major diffi culty with the disease is that given something serious was wrong was when towards television advertisements that, oblivi- Alopecia is a hair-loss condition that affects the personal nature of its effects, many sufferers her mother commented on her appearance. ous to her hair loss, continued advertising the both men and women and is mainly considered feel isolated and alone due to the lack of public She mentioned that she had never noticed latest products to beautify hair. She wondered to be an autoimmune disease. In sufferers, the support and awareness and are unwilling or un- that Laura had such a broad forehead. would her life ever be the same again and immune system that ordinarily protects us from able to communicate with specialists and other Looking in the mirror, Laura realised that her eventually came to the conclusion that no, it infection and fi ghts disease mistakenly attacks sufferers. fringe had thinned considerably and that there wouldn’t. Researching the issue, she discov- the hair follicles on the scalp and the rest of the There seems to be a stigma in society attached was a small bald patch on the side of her head. ered that millions of people had experienced body, causing hair loss. to baldness, especially regarding women and Initially Laura and her family were not unduly the same thing and that life, in fact, did go on. There is little conclusive evidence for what many female sufferers simply do not feel able to concerned as Laura’s older sister had lost a She grew to realise that there was more to her predisposes certain men and women to experi- face the outside world because of their altered small amount of hair when pregnant some than her physical appearance and that she ence it, but genetic appearance. years ago. would have to learn to love the person that she factors and psy- They feel they For weeks and then months Laura refused had become. chological stress More Information... will be judged to think about it, blaming the continuing hair Leaving her house without a hat or headscarf are thought to play and that their loss on the contraceptive pill and disguising the for the fi rst time was a huge step in her emo- a role. There are n Alopecia Ireland: identity as growing bald patch with clever hair styles. Her tional recovery and she discovered that peo- three different kinds www.alopeciaireland.org women is at hair had always been a source of pride, long ple for the most part weren’t judgemental or of disorders, rang- National Alopecia Areata stake. and curly and an integral part of her identity. unkind, merely curious and uninformed. Most ing in order of se- n This self- The day that she went for an appointment importantly, her family and her friends were verity. Foundation: conscious- with her local GP would be one that she would with her every step of the way and today, Laura Alopecia areata www.naaf.org ness is not never forget, as he uttered the words she fi nds herself confi dent and able to deal with her is the mildest form, n Alopecia Information exclusive to dreaded to hear. ‘I’m afraid there’s a possibility condition. normally beginning and Resources: women how- with coin-sized bare www.follicle.com ever, and Coping with Alopecia by Nigel Hunt and Sue such as hats and wigs, synthetic or real human patches that appear n For affordable mail order wigs: the levels of McHale is an informative book written to assist hair. The authors emphasise that it is not how a on the scalp. Suf- www.paulayoung.com depression those enduring alopecia in coping with their condi- person deals with social situations that is impor- ferers often do not among men tion. It deals with various problems that must be tant. What matters is that each individual fi nds notice the initial hair with alopecia faced, such as how to manage in the work place, something that will work for them, whether it be loss, the fi rst clue simply being an increase in the is high. There is an element of bereavement as- adjusting one’s mindset and learning to face the shaving their head completely or wearing a wig. amount of hair coming out in the shower. This sociated with the loss of one’s hair and a griev- daily challenge of life without hair. It is an essential There are many wigs available in Ireland today, the can progress to quite noticeable bald patches ing process is often experienced. Many sufferers read for someone with alopecia or a family mem- expense depending on the type- custom made hu- and sometimes to total baldness, known as alo- feel humiliated and simply do not know where to ber of a sufferer because as the public become man hair wigs being obviously the most expensive. pecia totalis. A small percentage of people with turn for support and acceptance. Many prefer to more informed about the condition, the more help For a consultation and wig information: Snips, 113 alopecia will go on to develop alopecia universa- suffer in silence and mask the effects with hats, and support that will be made available. Middle Abbey Street, Dublin 1, Ireland. Tel: 01 lis - the total loss of all hair on the body, including scarves and wigs, desperate to fi t in to a society The book describes various products available 8733443. Coping with Alopecia by Nigel Hunt and eyelashes and eyebrows. that seems to demand physical perfection. that can help to minimise the stress of daily life, Sue McHale, Sheldon Press, 2004 College Tribune

26 REGULARS 14.02.06

D L

R this week Useless Education O W It’s amazing how inspiration The thing is, I don’t think I’m the have spurned the roles our mothers tech environs. tasks. It’s strikes. Not long before deadline only young Irish male in this position. took on in favour of a more modern The Celtic Tiger R ’ S personally time and no idea what to write and Particularly for those of us who grew approach. is roaring. U D embarrassing the car you’re in gets a puncture. up in 2.4 families in suburbia, DIY The traditional roles of society Beneath the hoi poloi who that I’m going to have to As the driver fi xes it you realise hasn’t been a big part of our lives. have been, rightly, turned on their can discuss Plato but can’t fi x a send out for help when assembling a how utterly useless you really Sure chores had to be done but the heads but when our generation is cracked plate will be, if current trends desk but it will happen and it’s very are. continue an underpaid underclass of sad. As someone who doesn’t drive Will it be a case of kids being raised immigrant workers who are basically Having a rounded education is a I’ve never been in this situation there to provide services for the over wonderful thing and being knowl- alone but I know that should it ever on microwave dinners, takeaways educated but under trained. It’s the edgeable is something to be ap- happen, the AA will be getting a call. and sleeping in beds that collapse way the society is going here. plauded but what use is a learned Useless information abounds within We’ll need services like never opinion on Middle Eastern affairs my skull but practicality is nowhere because Dad wasn’t able to put before because we’re too wealthy when you’re stuck by the side of to be seen. them together? and preoccupied to learn ourselves. the road in the rain staring at a tyre I may have a masters but when Some of us don’t have the talent to you’ve no idea how to fi x. it comes to anything in anyway furthest extent was hoovering the all grown up and is raising the next fi x things while others who would Calling the AA will of course get that involves my hands I’m always house. bunch of brats, it’ll be interesting to have learned in other circumstances; the job done but it’s an expensive stumped. When it comes to chang- As a result, a whole generation of see how it goes. don’t feel the need to do so. solution to a problem that everyone ing light bulbs, car tyres or putting up young men are going to be disastrous Will it be a case of kids being raised Maybe if the TV show Home Im- should be equipped to deal with. shelves you can forget it. around the house. They’ll be able to on microwave dinners, takeaways provement was relaunched it might Perhaps modularisation should in- As far as anything that involves a wax lyrical about the state of the na- and sleeping in beds that collapse inspire a whole new generation of DI- volve a course in Life’s Practicali- hammer or a nail goes it’s a forgone tion, but when it comes to rewiring a because Dad wasn’t able to put them Yers. Perhaps when the focus of life ties with classes on self assembly conclusion that I won’t be able to do plug, they’ll be rightly screwed. together? Or will Mams take care of changes and we’re all settled down and hammering nails, teaching the it. Self assembly is another blacks- While the young men aren’t quite the practical stuff as Dad whiles his we’ll be down in Homebase oohing next generation the things we need pot. The instructions are a minefi eld setting the world alight in learning evenings away in the kitchen? and ahhing about the latest Flymo or to know. and nothing ever goes to plan. I for the ropes of fi xing things, the ladies This generation of young Irish peo- cordless drill because we’ve nothing We may be educated in the fi ner one am not looking forward to Ikea of this generation haven’t had the ple will be, at least on paper, among else to do. things in life, but when it comes to opening its fl at pack doors in Bally- time to learn to cook. Busy educat- the most sophisticated and educated Otherwise, we’ll be calling out things we may actually need it’s a mun. ing and enjoying themselves, they in the world. Full employment in high handymen to do even the simplest of fat lot of good.

BY EILEEN THINGS I HATES ABOUT... O’MALLEY 10 VALENTINE’S DAY There is nothing wrong with being single on Val- ing their hand writing in the process for effect. day is seen as owing to the Hallmark Corpo- THE PRICE entines Day, never the less the most confi dent ration and their chance to make some easy 10 OF LOVE singleton can be reduced to a wallowing wreak money in between Christmas and Easter. on the day. It is not your day, so just raise your 5 THE ‘HI-JACK’ There is something fundamentally wrong with head high, stay away from the fridge, (remem- paying €90 for a bouquet of roses. If you must, ber food is not love) and hide away for the night Excuse my sentimentality for a minute, but love 2 THE PRESSURE pick them from a random garden and put some until sunrise. is beautiful thing. Love as embodied in a heart cling-fi lm and wrapping paper around the bot- shaped box of caramels or cheap teddy is not. Even if you are an avid member of the Social- tom, she’ll be none the wiser. HATING Reclaim the day back, buy nothing and make it ist Party, Valentines secretly matters. Even 7 VALENTINES DAY all yourself, dinner, card and if you’re a genius socialists feel the pressure. A box of choco- SMUG with a needle make the teddy too. lates maybe not what you get, but a beret 9 MARRIEDS Oh stop being so bitter and get over it. (This would be nice. Hate Valentines you may but column doesn’t count. Confused? You should THE CHOCOLATE if your other half ignores the day there will be Such people need not be married, it’s just a title be.) 4 hell to pay. to describe couples that take pride in the fact that FACTOR they are sickeningly in-love. Congratulations, AMBUSH ON OUR Don’t buy your other half chocolate – it’s far too THE we are all happy that you’re a pair of happy little 6 SELF-ESTEEM predictable. As for an alternative, that’s why bunnies, but there is no need to repulse the rest God gave you an imagination. 1 AFTER-MATH of us in your company. Smug marrieds seem to Refer to number 8. Try as you might, it’s hard become more abundant during this time of year. not to feel like crap when you’re either single or COMMERCIAL Tomorrow it’s just dead fl owers, empty calo- There’s just no need for that kind of carry-on. your boyfriend wasn’t arsed to make an effort. 3 ries and with any luck a wicked champagne There are the unlucky few though that have -SATION hangover. Life goes back to normal and we WALLOWING had the humiliating misfortune of having reli- There are indeed historical roots of Valentines all move on. What was the big fuss about 8 SINGLES able Mom and Dad write them a card, disguis- Day, but alas it seems in our cynical times the anyway? College Tribune 14.02.06 REGULARS 27

BECAUSE A PROBLEM SHARED IS A PROBLEM DOUBLED

Dear Tribune, better place either with or without him. The fi ve able to get her out of my years we have had have been such good times, I head. I think I’m in love, I She was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar still love him. But now I think it’s time I lived my mean the whole Blood group when I found her. I picked her up and shook her up life on my own I guess it’s just what I must do. thing can be worked around, s and turned her around: turned her into something can’t it? I was thinking of y new. Now fi ve years later on she’s got the world at Woman League. asking her out. What do her feet, success has been so easy for her. But she’s you think? o forgotten it’s me who put her where she is now; I Dear Woman, a can put her back down too. Deeply Confused y ALL TOGETHER NOW. DON’T YOU WANT 3rd Ag Hugh Man League ME BABY? DON’T YOU WANT ME OH OH a OH… Dear Confused, - Dear Hugh, As a rule we do - Dear Tribune, not encourage It’s never nice when things you make turn around incest, however s and spit on you. Dr. Frankenstein suffered a similar Barry likes jam and lorries. there have been inci- f misfortune. Having said this, ‘shaking her up’ as Dear Anne and Barry, dences that have worked out, I am referring to the e you call it, is illegal in most Western countries and Anne. TV sensation Brookside of course; circa 1995. Re- it serves you right she’s left you, you monster. Thanks. member Nat and Georgia’s brotherly/sisterly frot- t Dear Tribune, taging? Lets not forget the sibling snogging from e Dear Tribune, Dear Tribune, “Euro Trip The Movie”? Air on the side of caution e Anne likes cakes and cars. though; don’t ask her out unless she is hot for your I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that I need help. I walked in on my sister in the shower love too. If this is the case, break it to your parents - much is true. But even then I knew I’d fi nd a much Barry. last week by accident. Since then I haven’t been and move to Cavan. - y e WARNING: LUNGING CAN BE DANGEROUS

THE TRIBUNE GUIDE TO THE # 6: THE PICK AND GO

Bearing this in mind, this week’s LUNGE lunge entails a certain degree of en- The Lunge got to thinking there the other night. It was out and trapment. As always identify your target. Use the usual cri- about in one of those trendy bars frequented by twenty teria, time, how drunk she is, how drunk you are, how drunk - somethings’ in Crombies and business suits when it her friends are and how ugly she is. noticed the strangest thing. Obviously bear in mind that attempting a lunge like this if There wasn’t a lunge in sight. Towards the end of all her mates are watching you beady eyed may be diffi cult. the evening couples seemed to gravitate towards each Saunter over as usual and begin the banter. Dance with other. The Lunge could swear he heard one couple be- her a little but not too much. Use your best moves but in a ing introduced as ‘this is Jane, she’s in marketing as well, playful and ‘I know I can dance but I’m, not going to be a cock perhaps you should score.’ about it’ manner. Now, the Lunge is not used to such civilised behaviour At this stage you should begin making eye contact and a and it all came as a bit of a shock. cheeky, yet not sleazy, wink is a must. Perhaps give her a For a short period the Lunge was left grappling with a twirl or engage in a bit of jiving, anything with a bit of con- question of magnitudal proportions and then it had a cathartic tact. moment, Soon you will be ready to pounce. Pick her up in your The Lunge realised that the Lunge may not always go on. That arms with her head above yours and spin around a couple of at some stage you may have to hang up your lunging boots and settle times. Pretend its all a bit of craic. It’s not though. It’s deadly down to a more savoury form of titillation. serious. Now this is a particularly diffi cult realisation to come to terms with espe- At this stage she should be dizzy after the potent mix of cially if you take pride in your lunges. As a wise man once remarked ‘ the booze and spinning. Look up and lock your eyes on hers. lunge will stay with you forever, but you will not be able to use it forever. It Don’t worry if she appears to have trouble concentrating on is both eternal yet tragically ephemeral.” you, that’s a perfectly understandable side effect. The point of all this is that while you still can lunge, lunge. There are those Go left or right or straight, it’s not an issue as you’ve put who will wish to lunge forever but every lunger needs a lungee and the older the hard yards in already to get to this stage. Just enjoy it. THE VOLUME XIX ISSUE VII

N LY URBINE O L T L I

It’s Satire, Stupid! T

S 31p INSIDE IRISH TIMES PRAISED FOR MAN FOUND LATEST AD CAMPAIGN ASLEEP: IN BED The Irish Times ‘We Look at Life - You Live It’ ad campaign currently adorning posters all over the country has been DICK CHENEY: praised as visionary and poetic by lead- ing critics. I SHOT JR Posing such relevant, polemic and origi- nal questions as ‘Should 3 million Irish peo- ple around the world go back to where they came from?’ amongst others, the campaign TRAVELLER has inspired citizens all over the country to re-think their views on life. LEADER RESIGNS “It’s great, like” said regular punter Joe Soap. “Cos’ like, I used to be a racist, and CITING ‘IT’S TIME I used to think all foreigners should go back TO MOVE ON’ to where they came from. But then I saw that ad in Sydney Parade station on the way back from an anti-immigration rally and it made me think, you know, like, there’s Irish PROCRASTINATORS people in other countries too like...you know. It’s just sound. So I left my pointy white hat UNITE! TOMORROW there on the DART and went home to bed.” Another such ad, ‘We knew you thought Cathartic:Offering This man’s detailed life critiqueswas changed on so- afterissued reading a statement the Irish Timeswhich, if delivered on, your life would be better than this’ really touched a chord with the nation. “Yeah, that cio-economic issues (‘Get rid of capitalism will establish them as the leading lights of NEW HORIZONS one really got me where it mattered” said and replace it with something better?’) and the entire world. CAMPAIGN one man, overcome with emotion at the witty observations on current affairs like the “We here at the Irish Times intend to edu- memory of his fi rst encounter with the reali- recent church scandal (‘Should the Catholic cate the proles of Ireland by publishing all of LAUNCHED: ‘HOW sation that he wasn’t an interesting person. Church go to confession?’) it is hoped that the answers to the questions posed in our “It just made me realise that I need the Irish the Irish Times will continue to enlighten it’s ad campaigns next week and even more, in- LOW CAN YOU GO?’ Times in order to fi ll that gap in my life. You awestruck readership in the future. cluding the Nature/Nurture, the existence of can really rely on them to tell you what to In an unprecedented new revelation, the God, where Bic pens go to and the infamous think straight up, no bullshit.” Times’ headquarters on D’Olier St. recently chicken egg debate.” BIRD FLEW IN IRELAND PAISLEY SAYS YES YES YES Mary McAleese and Ian is not true. HANS CHRISTIAN Paisley have been con- Taoiseach Bertie ducting a sordid affair Ahearn has dismissed ANDERSON: but have used animos- the comments of the ity as a smokescreen DUP leader as “just a “MY JIHAD HELL” for their smouldering lover’s tiff”. Public specu- passion. lation is rife that relations A fresh war of words have begun to sour rap- broke out between idly between the presi- SPORT the Government and dent and Paisley, despite DUP leader Ian Paisley An Taoiseach’s claims 45 PAGE PULL OUT: last week after he ac- that “it’s just a cover-up. she has some bizarre fet- happy”. “I know Paisley very cused President Mary They’re trying to make it ish for large noses”. Ahern was adamant well, we’ve gone for pints AT HOME WITH McAleese of being “dis- look like they’re fi ghting When prompted on that Paisley’s statement many a time and I can honest” but the Turbine about Northern Ireland, the circumstances of the of “I don’t like the Presi- see through this mumbo- BRIAN O’DRISCOLL can exclusively reveal when really they’re up to DUP leader’s branding dent of the Irish Republic” jumbo. You should hear that the fi rebrand Rever- something much more of McAleese as “dishon- was nothing but “a child- the way he talks about end has been doing more sickening”. est”, Ahern went on to ish attempt to get back her when he’s drunk. It’s FOLLOWING STRING loving than hating when it Speaking to the Tur- say that “well apparently at the president. What horrible. I’ve seen the comes to the Irish Presi- bine, Ahern commented, she promised to cook him he really meant when he way they look at each OF NATURAL dent. “they’re very much in a special Valentines Day said that McAleese ‘pre- other during negotiations. Speaking last Saturday love. I have noticed them dinner and then it turned tends to love this prov- Although I think that DISASTERS, WE week, at his party’s annu- spending more and more out that she had already ince, but really she hates maybe their relationship al conference in Belfast, time together during our promised the husband ‘a it’ was ‘she pretends to might be just what this ASK: WHAT WOULD Mr Paisley said he did negotiation talks up north. good seeing to’, so that love her husband but re- country needs in order not “like the President of She just can’t stop talking blew that out of the wa- ally she hates him and to bring these two sets of BOD DO? the Irish Republic”. This about him. I think maybe ter and Paisley wasn’t loves me’. people together”. College Tribune 14.02.06 SPORT 29 Tyrone KO OK for Dubs The Battle of Omagh left a bad taste in many peoples mouths but for Paul Caffrey’s men a win over the all-Ireland champions was a timely fi llip, writes Rúaidhrí O’Connor There’s no two ways about it, all Understandably they went to ground, hell’s broken loose. Everyone has but the focus would have been on the seen the red card given to Alan fact that this team can make a valid Brogan but no one can possibly claim to have gone toe to toe with the track down the chain of events that DOWN THE LINE best and come out on top. have followed. It’s kicked off and Anyone who watched the documen- it’s out of control. tary on Dublin’s 2005 Championship Brogan’s in the stand, looking be- will have seen the attention to detail mused. As he walks off disconsolately Caffrey puts into his team talks and he is taunted by the Tyrone physio. the intensity of his analysis of Dublin’s He then chases the smaller man in performances. He expects a lot of his a hat and tracksuit before Ryan Mc- players and must have drawn satis- Menemen decides to intervene. Dub- faction from the way they neutralised lin debutant Kevin Bonner fl attens the points of the Tyrone attack in him. Less than ten seconds later two Omagh. entire teams are punching and kick- At the same time, players like ing and referee Paddy Russell has no Mossy Quinn are now growing into control over the situation. leaders. He knows that when the It wasn’t the fi rst fi ght of a tempera- Crokes players come back into the mental game which saw four sent off, fold as well as the likes of Colly Mo- fi fteen yellow cards and two penalties ran, Conal Keaney and Connell, he but the scenes, broadcast live, gave has alternatives in the men who stood columnist’s and radio phone ins much Brawl: Dublin win on points tall in Omagh. needed ammunition during a normally did in Omagh but it wasn’t pretty. Amateur players trying to get each fact. Dublin had come away with a People always maintain that Dublin quiet time of year. Dublin won that day by a point at other sent off. It’s not a very admira- win. They had out-muscled and out- should be powerhouses due to their Of course it will attract attention, a time when Tyrone were known for ble trait and Tyrone are renowned for fought the best team in the land and population size. and now it seems The All Ireland champions literally puke football and an all embracing it. Alan Brogan clipped Conor Gorm- when the dust had settled on the row, that they’re delivering on that prom- fi ghting it out with the game’s most defence that swallowed oppositions. ley alright, but usually when a man they had maintained their compo- ise and will have massive selection glamorous team. Fisticuffs would be Last summer Tyrone’s football was collapses like he did, snipers on the sure. headaches. Caffrey has the problems a polite way of putting it. Mayhem is lauded as the fi nished article. They roof are involved. Dublin went into the game with a coaches love to have. more accurate. won one of the toughest All Irelands It wasn’t the fi rst time it happened number of debutants and Paul Caf- Of course, a dreary Sunday after- Last summer, these teams lit up overcoming all their major rivals en and Dublin were incensed. Dublin are frey can only have been delighted with noon in Omagh will be a distant mem- the Championship with a game that route. a physical outfi t having readapted their reaction. Injury deprived him of ory when the Dublin bandwagon rolls encapsulated everything that was Dublin gave them one of their their way of playing to the current old heads like Senan Connell and the into Longford in May for the beginning good about the modern game. The toughest games last summer. They GAA climate. They played Tyrone at rising stars of Kilmacud Crokes were of the Championship. hits were huge, the points were taken were then swept away in the replay. their own game. It may have been the still on club duty, but the young guns At the same time it’s the type of from all sorts of angle and of course Dublin needed to make a statement in fi rst league game of the season but stood up to the task at hand despite character building exercise that the Owen Mulligan scored that goal. Omagh. Tyrone didn’t like it one bit. the intensity was at Championship their illustrious opposition. Dubs can draw upon when the sun There was an undercurrent during Since the seventies Dublin teams level. Some might have seen Kevin Bon- is shining and their backs are against the summer game. Ever since 1995 have had to be harder than their op- That, combined with the bad ner’s physicality as ill discipline and the wall. They can have no fear of and the controversial Dublin win these position, knowing that theirs is the weather and heavy pitch meant that Denis Bastick’s sending off as a sign their oppositions. They have taken on teams have had a rivalry. Two years scalp all teams want. this game would never be free fl ow- of naiveté but Dublin will be proud of the best in their backyard and come ago Tyrone came to Parnell Park as The match also showed up another ing. However, it was enthralling in it’s their newest members standing up to out on top. All Ireland Champions and played one nasty undercurrent in the modern own right. the All Ireland Champions. The summer may be a long way of the nastiest league games in recent game. Diving has become common- The outcry that followed the game You can be sure there was no talk of away but this Dublin team can draw memory. It never quite exploded as it place in GAA but is rarely criticised. overshadowed the more signifi cant the row in the Dublin camp last week. inspiration from the Battle of Omagh. the diary of a...... superleague captain by Gordon Tobin After an amazing win over the supposed best team in the Superleague, Football Unfortunately in the closing stages of the game a soft penalty was awarded United last Sunday, my team were to square up to league leaders D.C.U Dyslexics. by that notorious astro ref. Granted they did have more legitimate claims to a It was to be another epic clash against the pretenders to the throne. penalty earlier in the game but this ref in his infinite wisdom gave a penalty in This D.C.U side were obviously a force to be reckoned with boasting a 100% what was probably going to be the last kick of the game. We lost 3-2. A heart- record. To be honest though they were not the tough side I had expected. They breaking way to lose but that’s football for you. were very limited going forward and seemed to be lacking the tenacity and bite The team has also put in a request to the league and to the manager of of a championship side. Cheesecake Sunday to replay the game in which they were awarded a 3-0 It was a hard fought but by no means the physical contest I expected, they walkover against our team. had some good players as I have already mentioned but none seemed outstand- Despite the fact that the league has granted their full permission, the manager ing. What did seem strange at the time was they were playing a guy who I of Cheesecake Sunday has not been too enthusiastic about the whole idea. would regard their best player at left full back. Perhaps the lads of Cheesecake would prefer the walkover and take the easy This was either a tactical masterstroke or the product of a lack of first choice points, rather than earning them through sweat blood and tears like the rest of players on the day. Perhaps they were missing some crucial players but we were us. without our first choice central midfielder and full back, which did unfortunately If anyone from that team is reading this article and I hope you are, call me!!! take its toll and all of our team afterward agreed that they were sorely missed. To reschedule you can get in contact through Dermot in the sports office. We will It was an enjoyable game to play in with both sides enjoying periods of even pay the referees fees and book the pitch! I can’t say fairer than that. possession, four goals were scored from open play (one of which was a sweet And as regards the most erroneous assumptions made by one of my coun- strike from a blonde headed midfield player for D.C.U) leaving us 2-2 with a few terparts in the latest edition of the University Observer, we did not lose to the minutes of time to play. aforementioned team. They took a walkover. That’s why the score was a 3-0 College Tribune 30 SPORT 14.02.06 Students to raise the bar As the Irish rugby side seems trapped in the doldrums, Richard McElwee argues that the answer to Ireland’s souring fortunes lies in the Under-21 team, where a number of UCD students boast regular action

At a time when the vutures of Irish pressive DCU student Jamie Heaslip. rugby are circling hungrily in the Heaslip was set to be overlooked in wake of bad results and poor per- favour of the veteran Foley for the formances, there is still hope to be French clash if current number eight had. Denis Leamy’s recent citing was to be Despite the conservative nature of deemed valid. Irish coach Eddie O’Sullivan, there is Heaslip, along with UCD student much talent coming through the ranks, Robert Kearney, represent a positive not least from the shores of Belfi eld outlook on the future of Irish rugby. which boasts a number of Irish Under- Following Ireland’s disastrous attempt 21 stars all hoping to make the crucial on the Grand Slam last year and the transition to the senior team. subsequent mediocre showings of our UCD students Fionn Carr, Fergus stars on the Lions tour, not to mention McFadden, Sean O’Brien, Jonathon the usual failures of provincial sides Sexton and Devin Toner fi nd them- in the Heineken Cup, the received selves within the more fortunate per- wisdom was that we had arrived at a centage of young Irish rugby players crossroads in our fortunes. Of course still in the game today. All fi ve are that is not the reality of the situation. members of the Ireland U21 team Inevitably there will be much uncer- who are currently enveloped in the Six tainty ahead until the picture becomes Nations, an underage competitive cur- clearer and confi dence is restored, but tain-raiser to the senior equivalent. ultimately the signs are positive. Four can also boast suffi cient expe- The performances of the duo for rience in the Leinster Schools Senior Leinster under the stewardship of Cup. Sexton and McFadden having Michael Cheika, have been nothing played in the Senior Cup Finals of short of remarkable and also clearly 2003 and 2004 with St.Mary’s Col- indicative of their abilities. Cheika, lege and Clongowes respectively. who has sought to revamp the ageing Toner, at 6ft 11in, played in the sec- Leinster rearguard and rid the side of Brian O’Driscoll: Even Drico was an under-21 once ond-row for Castleknock College. a settled mediocrity, appears confi - Carr of Newbridge College lost out at ior Cup has aroused. Indeed many of Of course there are exceptions to approaching. dent to experiment until the right in- the semi-fi nal stage to McFadden and the current crop at Eddie O’Sullivan’s that claim, but it has become increas- There is no denying that many of to- gredients are found. O’Sullivan would Clongowes in 2004. disposal are those who have success- ingly evident that as each year pass- day’s squad are up to a certain inter- be wise to take something from the For each and every one, the tourna- fully made the transition from the out- es, more and more of those who have national standard, but it is a standard Australian’s decisions regarding play- ment, just as the schools’ competition rageously competitive obsession that come through the schoolboy ranks which we have failed to improve upon ers such as the aforementioned Hea- propelled them into the spotlight, will is schools’ rugby. decide to withdraw themselves thus in recent times. The Triple Crown slip and Kearney, and also Munster’s serve as a huge opportunistic base In 1998, Ireland’s Gordon D’Arcy leaving the game behind them. For success of 2004 in hindsight was the Barry Murphy, who have all earned the from which to launch themselves to came to prominence as an attack- many teenagers the dedication and, peak of that Irish side. The responsi- right to be given a chance rather than dizzier heights. Indeed both Sex- ing full-back for Clongowes Wood, a essentially, the professional aspect it bility to diagnose as such rested with be excluded for lack of experience. ton and Toner have already attained team many believed to have been as has undertaken bore a heavy load on O’Sullivan but he failed to take advan- Although a bright future in the some Celtic League experience from good as the Blackrock ‘Dream Team’ their lives, whilst there are those who tage of the situation. game is never assured, all can take their recent cameos in Leinsters’ tre- of 1996 which of course boasted maintained the motivation but grew The Autumn internationals have heart from the recent conversions of mendous win over the Borders. former UCD marvel Brian O’Driscoll, frustrated at the lack of opportunities added substance to that belief. The Heaslip and Kearney into formidable It’s February and Donnybrook has although even the captain of the 2006 available to them. famed All-Blacks of New Zealand, and accomplished senior players. It been invaded once again by teenage British and Irish Lions, failed to make Throughout the past number of one of our opponents during that se- is imperative however, that those who prodigies and groupies alike as rugby that line-up. seasons Eddie O’Sullivan has persist- ries of fi xtures, epitomize the model do join the fold do not endure a ‘burn- schools across the province rekindle Current Leicester Tigers full-back ed with the experienced and well-jour- set-up we should strive to attain. Not out’ from over-exposure to the de- rivalries and dream of Lansdowne Geordan Murphy represented New- neyed brigade primarily consisting of only is their fi rst choice international mands that the professional age has glory on St.Patrick’s Day. Champi- bridge College at out-half in the fi nal Shane Byrne, Anthony Foley, Girvan team potentially chosen from anything brought with it. While of course they ons Belvedere came through the that same year. Meanwhile, in Mun- Dempsey and Reggie Corrigan. For up to 50 able players, their method of will be severely tested, they should at fi rst round last week unscathed while ster, both Ronan O’Gara and Peter several years the prospects of po- youth development relies moreso on the same time be allowed the luxury St.Mary’s survived a second-half Stringer earned the accolades as tential replacements were curtailed. natural development, therefore allow- of maintaining a certain freshness in hangover against St.Gerard’s. their half-back partnership played a Though it would be harsh to criticize ing for more natural abilities to shine their performances. Terenure College meanwhile are left huge role in the victorious PBC Cork the service of the aforementioned in- through. They are fi nely tuned ath- The talent no doubt has already to ponder what might have been as side. Perhaps one could assume that dividuals, it is reasonable to predict a letes who primarily still play the sport been identifi ed so there should be no the old reliables in Blackrock College 1996 was a particularly prolifi c year in lull in the fortunes of the Irish national for fun. reason to have it exploited and wasted predictably re-installed themselves as terms of producing top-class school- team for there is going to be a period Of late O’Sullivan has shown signs so early on in their careers. So while favourites to emerge triumphant for boys, but many would suggest that as of alteration as the team adjusts to that he has fi nally given into neces- the preachers of bleak futures lament the 65th time. This year is no different the schoolboy system has developed, their long overdue departures from sity for change, but ultimately he has about the dieing days of Irish rugby, to any other with regard to the amount the sheer bulk of talent it has provided the fray. Furthermore we must recog- resorted to his old ways in resisting the truth is that the talent is there, of interest the Leinster Schools Sen- in the past has dissipated. nize that the 2007 World Cup is fast the calls for the inclusion of the im- waiting to be unleashed.

To celebrate our 12th Birthday, Niteline are giving away an Apple iPod nano. To be in with a chance to win, fi nish this sentence: “Niteline is important because….” Send your answers to [email protected] Closing date Fri 10th March. Niteline Niteline is a non-directive, confi dential and anonymous lis- Competition tening and information service run by and for the students of NCAD, RCSI, TCD & UCD. Niteline operates from Thursday to Sunday 9.00pm – 2.30am Thereʼs no problem too big or too small 1800 793 793 www.niteline.ie College Tribune 14.02.06 SPORT 31 College underdogs humble Pembroke

The UCD ladies’ Firsts se- Photo: Harry Smyth HARRY SMYTH cured a dramatic 3-2 victory over league leaders Pembroke that UCD went in at half time re- Wanderers in cold and over- lieved not to be further behind. cast conditions at Belfi eld last Whatever the home side’s Saturday afternoon. coach said at half time certainly Despite withstanding heavy worked as College came out with pressure for long periods of the all guns blazing. They were able game, they managed to come to secure an immediate equal- from behind twice and showed izer courtesy of an excellent goal great composure in taking their from Eimear Horan that came chances at the crucial moments. just at the right time. On the balance of play, the Pembroke however showed draw would have been the fair the quailty that one would as- result, but it would be diffi cult to sociate with champions and re- begrudge UCD the win based on sponded well to the setback by the tremendous strength of char- picking up their level of play and acter they showed. preventing UCD from building on Both teams started confi dently their goal. and as a result of the attacking The visitors took the lead once approach taken from both sides again as they managed to get in during the early sparring, an behind the students defence to open match was on the cards. take their second goal extremely As you would expect at this level, well. At this stage, things were the passing was intelligent and looking decidedly bleak for Col- precise with both teams looking lege, but once again they were NATIONAL HOCKEY CENTRE comfortable in possession. able to summon a fi ghting spirit Towards the middle of the fi rst in order to haul themselves back UCD 3 half, Pembroke upped the tempo into the game. PEMBROKE 2 and started to demonstrate why A scrappy exchange around they’re top of the league. A well the Pembroke goal-mouth culmi- Escape: UCD clear their lines against league leaders Pembroke Wanderers P GD Pts worked move through the mid- nated in a goal for Roisin Flynn dle in which they were able to which was much to the delight priately dramatic ending to what “We always knew it would be Pembroke W 10 19 26 take UCD players out of position, of the home side. At this stage, had been a thoroughly absorbing diffi cult after going 1-0 down but Hermes 10 17 26 resulted in a chance for Bro- it looked as if a draw was a cer- encounter. just glad we were able to come Loreto 91418 phy who was able to fi nish with tainty, but UCD had other ideas. Speaking after her sides epic out on top in the end”. Next for Old Alexandra 81015 aplomb. With two minutes remaining, a win, Roisin Flynn who had a ter- College is a match up with Corin- Railway Union 71114

This goal proved the catalyst swift move down the right which rifi c game for College and con- thian and with confi dence sure to UCD 749

for a ten minute onslaught which caught Pembroke unawares, led verted the second goal, was be sky high, it promises to be an- Three Rock 10 -4 8 UCD were lucky to escape with- to the ball being played into the delighted with the outcome and other exciting spectacle for the Corinthian 11 -14 6 out further damage being infl ict- path of Captain Jane Burke who was especially impressed by the supporters whose nerves were Dublin University 9 -31 4 ed. Some dogged defending and stayed cool to fi nd the top corner way her side were able to turn certainly pushed to the limit last Clontarf 9 -26 3 less than clinical fi nishing meant with a sublime fi nish. An appro- things around. Saturday. SPORT IN BRIEF rails to show their skills to the with Tralee IT. With Tralee col- SNOWSPORTS Judges. UCD had athletes in 1st lecting their second win of the - 4th, namely Zak Jordan, Paul group against the Galway Mayo With solid and convincing vic- Harte, Michael Dowd and Conor side, UCD required at least a tories in each of the ski slalom, Kennedy. point from their fi nal encounter snowboard slalom and mixed It was also a huge success against Cork IT, and a 3-1 victory freestyle disciplines, UCD were for UCD’s slalom and freestyle was enough to send the students crowned Colours champions training programme, which was through to the Cup Semi Finals. at the fi rst ever Skiing & Snow- undoubtedly the deciding factor Hot favourites Sligo IT were the boarding Colours at Kilternan dry in the event. All eyes now turn to opponents in the Semi Final, with slope. the intervasities on the 25th of a number of experienced players UCD’s Sabine Harrison won February, where UCD will go up in their ranks, were widely tipped the Ski Slalom for the UCD Firsts against the reigning champions to lift the cup at the end of the before Alan O’Riordan made it DCU. days play. UCD hadn’t read the a clean sweep for the Seconds. script however and overcame the On to the Snowboard slalom and favourites to set up a meeting with one team a piece for each LADIES with Waterford in the fi nal. college, the deciding race was SOCCER Aisling Doonan looked to have run straight away. put UCD into the driving seat with UCD were outright winners two quick goals before the break, with club captain Paul Harte UCD brought home their fi rst leaving the half time score at 3-1 Coming Soon.... coming home, ahead by an entire WSCAI trophy in recent years as to UCD. Both sides had chances length of the course. With Col- they maintained a 100% record to score late in the game, and ours champions already decided, in the Indoor Intervarsities held in even a sin binning for UCD’s the Freestyle individual event Limerick last Saturday. Eimear O’Herlihy didn’t have any The Giants of went ahead. With a healthy mix The UCD Ladies campaign further effect on the score board, of both skiers and snowboarders, started off with a comfortable meaning that UCD brought home UCD Sport competitors had several runs of 4-1 victory over Galway Mayo the fi rst trophy of the WSCAI a course including jumps and IT, before a group deciding clash season. College Tribune Sports Focus SPORT DOWN THE LINE YOUNG GUNS THE DUBS ARE ON THE UP PAGE 28 U-21 RUGBY STARS PAGE 30 Escape to victory UCD pull off memorable comeback 31>

No Defence, No Offence, No Playoffs UCD Marian succcumbed to their player on the team, but he lacks the eter all game. He took little credit for UCD in the second and third. SPORTS CENTRE eleventh defeat of the Nivea Men’s physical style and tougher build that the win however. Trailing by 19 going into the fourth, Superleague season last Saturday UCD MARIAN 86 most of the other teams in the league “In the previous games we all just the chance of pulling off the come- evening at Belfi eld, by the only MDS STAR have to offer inside the paint. watched each other on defence, last back seemed distant. other team in the Northern Confer- 106 American Centre Damion Moberly week we focused on communication After a quick 7-0 UCD run, Glover ence with a weaker record, MDS PJ MULLEN left the team just three weeks ago; and tonight we executed and pulled missed two critical lay-ups to leave Star, led by ex-UCD coach Darren he led the team in minutes, points out a win,” Connelly remarked after- the boys in blue dead and buried. O’Neill. Marian basketball club. Ed Randolph, and rebounds, and it is clear that his wards. “They were around six for 11 from With just one win in their last ten the oldest player on the team at 46, departure has left a void that is still UCD only trailed by three at half- three in the fi rst half, we shut that games, the playoffs are now com- commented after last Saturday’s waiting to be fi lled. time but were only able to score 10 down in the second half and took ad- pletely out of the picture for the young defeat, that the team has continued Giving opponents second chances points compared to the 24 by MDS in vantage of their lack of speed around squad. UCD dropped to last place in to fail to understand how to play de- every time they venture down the the third quarter. the perimeter,” MDS forward Dave the Northern Conference after Satur- fence and offence. court will make it diffi cult for UCD “We started strong and executed Langrell, who scored 17 points, said. day night’s heavy defeat. “The type of defence you play will to ever match their opponents. The our defence and offence, but we “We aren’t fast enough or clever College fi nished third in the league help you win the games,” Randolph loss of Moberly not only calls for came out slow in the third quarter,” enough and we lack experience, last season, but with a new coach said, “We need to develop a basic other players to step up on offence, UCD guard Kevin Meany said, “They but we can make up for all of that by and several signifi cant player de- structure on offence to force our op- but also to reinforce the ranks of de- were fi ghting harder for every ball and playing smart,” Barron said. partures, the new faces in the locker ponents to play tougher defence.” fence. we weren’t working hard enough.” Another loss and another step room have not been familiar enough “The point is, when you think about The problems on Saturday night UCD team captain Barry Glover away from the post-season may be with one another to put forth a qual- it, we only have one American player began with the lack of rebounds, and was not able to fi nish the fi rst half hard for UCD fans to swallow but ity product on the court thus far this starting for us, it’s a transition peri- then spread to the perimeter of the or start the second half after receiv- there is a bright side. season. od,” said new Coach Gerry Barron UCD defence. ing his third foul early in the second “We’re a young team, I’m 24 and Some say it’s a lack of experience after the game. MDS guard Nate Connolly, who quarter. Glover scored 24 points on the second oldest guy here,” said and others claim the basic structure Centre Nate Lufkin is the only also comes from America, scored 40 the night; 10 of those points came in Meany, “We have plenty of time to just isn’t there, but whatever the case remaining American player on the points in the win. UCD was unable to the fi rst quarter and 10 came in the get stronger, build experience and may be, all is not well with the UCD team. Lufkin is 6 10” and is the tallest match-up with him around the perim- fourth, his absence on offence hurt develop a stronger attitude.”

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