I didn’t have anything to say to the Blue Lady when she came to collect me. She looked at me, waiting for some reaction to come boiling out. Anger, sadness, or at the very least a demand for answers from her. I didn’t give her a thing. I kept my face schooled into a mask of cool indifference. She seemed confused by this reaction, then hurt. I felt like I had kicked a puppy. Had she been anyone else I would have relented. But I could see the faces of my friends, worlds away, even now. They hardened my resolve. In the end she shifted me to the next world without saying anything. A sad, lost emotion held sway in her eyes as she did so. I would never admit to her how often that look haunted my dreams in the weeks afterward. But then, my surroundings had something to do with that. There was no gentle phasing in of reality this time. A black sky slipped in overhead, oily and cloud-coated. Then the whole world lurched to the left. I was thrown off my feet. Something hard cracked against my head. I fell into oblivion wondering if this was the price for my protest. Origin: Drop-In Nationality: No Affiliation Race: Artificial (200 CP) Perks Gained: Guardian (Free), Feel No Pain (200 CP), Magic Bolt (Free), Magic Theory (50 CP) Primary Role: Tank Secondary Role: Mage Memories waited for me on the other side of that curtain of blackness. They flickered like shadows and swirled in time-loosed chaos. I saw the moment I had been built next to a memory of being repaired for the first time. Knowledge pushed itself into my mind. It was clinical and cold. Like having an encyclopedia about the world on hand. The information was there, but there was no life attached to it. No sense of experience. A man was talking to me like I was an object. To all of us. Ninety nine fellow automatons that had been built and programmed expressly for one purpose. Battle. To wage war on the undead plaguing a remote island. We had no questions, no comments, no suggestions. We did as we were told. Crossed the sea on a ship that was never meant to come back. It survived the journey. We spilled out onto the cursed soil. And survived all of three hours before a woman clad in white arrived to strike us down with her bow. Consciousness forced its way through broken circuits. Mended damage along the way. Long dead power sources were taught to draw on the power of a soul itself. Tendrils of magic crept in, curious, and were used as fuel for the regeneration. Despite all this, only the core of the construct was fixed. The hole in the breastplate was closed and sensors broke in reverse, but the shattered left arm and broken legs were left as they were. I was awake and thinking before I realized I was doing so. My body was already running system diagnostics and generating damage reports. I stared past them to look at my hand. The only one I had left right now. Shifting metal plates and ball joints greeted me. I tried to scream. Discovered that my voice was one of the many unresponsive parts. Raw panic ran rampant in my mind as I realized that I wasn’t human any longer. Wasn’t even technically alive anymore. Worse still, I was trapped in an all but completely broken body. It took a fair while for me to collect myself. I’d like to claim otherwise. I really would. In my defence, It was the first time I had been placed into a body that wasn’t human or close enough that it made no difference. It was a lot to take in all at once, especially with hardly any memories to guide the process. Doubly so because of the state the body was in. My vocal circuits came back to life just about the time I was dragging myself away from panic’s fevered grip. Probably better that they had been off for that. I noticed my surroundings for the first time. Everything was black. The rocks were the color of slick oil, shimmering in the dull fragments of grey sunlight that leaked through the storm clouds rolling across the sky. Midnight sand streaked past in the wind. Swirled around dead trees that looked as if they had been torched into charcoal. There were things moving in the dim light. My circuitry detected my needs and switched on low-light visual sensors. The dusk burst into clarity as if the noonday sun had suddenly appeared. The movement resolved into wisps of blue-black smog. At first I thought it was simply smoke carried on the wind. Until I realized they maintained the rough shape of people. Some had extra limbs, or were missing them, but they were at least somewhat human in appearance. They were whispering. It lives? Told you. Came back. If it came back, it must know the secret. Yes. The secret. The voices grew louder as the figures drifted a few paces forward. You’ll tell us the secret, won’t you? Want to live. Want to die. Tell us. Smoke trailed out from the figures towards me. It slithered through the air like serpents on the hunt. Tell us! TELL US! I kicked my fear-slowed mind into action. Called out a name in a voice that sounded like an 80s stereo with a loose wire. Golden light burst into the darkness. The spirits hissed in surprise, shouted in terror, moaned in pain. A Valkyrie, resplendent in glittering plate armor and wings of silvered feathers, stood between us. She lowered her spear in the direction of the spirits and took a firmer grip on her shield. The spirits mumbled madly amongst themselves. They didn’t back off very far. Such life. Such vigor. We wants it. We wants it. Shh! She comes! The half-dead wearing the cloak of destruction. Flee! And like that they were gone. Dissipated into the wind as if they had been nothing more than the smoke they seemed. I clung to the magic of my protector for a few more moments. Just to make sure they were gone. I had exchanged the light of the Valkyrie for the chattering nonsense of several gremlins before I spotted the figure approaching. He was big. Not just tall, but wide and thick. A veritable mountain of a man sheathed in tattered robes. Despite the sense of presence and dread that hung from him almost tangibly, he leaned heavily on a thick staff with each step. Pain or fatigue, or maybe both, I guessed. He had all the hallmarks of a proper villain. He even had a jet black goatee. The gremlins scattered into the shadows as he stepped close to where I lay. “You were dead. But now you live. How?” His voice resonated with an otherworldliness. Each word ​ seemed to echo in my ears. But there was a creakiness to them as well. I wondered how long it had been since he had last spoken. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I assured him. I waved my summoned creatures back to work. They hesitantly flapped back towards the scattered mechanical corpses around me. They did not chatter now. “I wish to know.” He was as immovable of the proverbial object. ​ “Let us take him. We could find out so easily. Then you could join us.” The new voice came from around the man, but from no source I could see. I grew a shade more nervous. Was he the one in charge of the spirits here? He ignored the feminine spirit voice. The only indication he heard her at all was a shade of irritation creeping onto his features. “I’m a dimensional traveller. I spend a decade in each world before leaving for the next. The transfer this time was a little rough. Ended up in this husk. Now that I’m here, I’ve got to make it work.” I half-lied. He looked at my battered body. I had no idea if I really convinced him. “Oh! Oh! Such power. Such abilities. It would make a fine addition to the fold. We could leave this place. Spread to new lands.” The feminine spirit was getting all ​ sorts of ideas. The ghastly man cut it off with a snort. “His soul may be alive, but the body isn’t. He is immune to your corruption.” That hard line of a ​ mouth ticked upward at the corners. Genuine amusement flickered across the black pits of his eyes. “Quite ​ the joke. Everything your dark heart desires, there to taunt you, but forever out of reach.” The air went still. Utterly and completely. I heard several dead trees crack in the sudden abatement of that pressing wind. A howl that had nothing to do with wind erupted into existence. I felt it reaching, clawing, towards my mind and soul. But it had no purchase. Its darkness slid away from both as if I was coated in ice. After a few frustrated moments of scrabbling, the presence launched itself away from both of us. I heard it howl long, long after it had vanished from even my enhanced sight. The giant of a man, or whatever he was, made a coughing sound that I thought was his attempt at a laugh. It sounded more menacing than amused. “This island has had no jokes since the coming of the corruption. And now it makes up for it in spades.” He leaned down and inspected me more closely. The gremlins scattered again. “I am Yorick. ​ ​ Guardian of the island of the damned.” I searched my memory banks for a name without success. So I reached for the first that sprang to mind. “I’m Horatio. Pleased to meet you. Is it always so lively?” He seemed to find this an even greater joke than my appearance. I began to wonder just how long he had been alone with the dead. “Do you… need help?” He looked down at his thick fingers. “I may not be much of that.” ​ ​ “I appreciate it, but the gremlins should be up to the task. You could help them find the parts I need though.” He perked up at the idea of being useful. In short order my summoned spirits were carrying over bits and pieces that his more capable brain could discover more easily. I had the knowledge to repair myself tucked inside my few memories. Still, there were limits to what I could do with long-dead robots that had been left out to weather for who knows how long. I improvised more than once. A wicked looking sword became the supporting strut for my left arm. I used a gauntlet Yorick dug up as the exterior plates for that hand. My right leg had a short staff bracing up the entire leg. Only my left leg came complete from another unit. The battle that had destroyed myself and my fellow creations had been intense and vindictive. Time had done the rest. Artifacts Gained: Maw of Malmortius (300 AP), Void Staff (200 AP), Iceborn Gauntlet (150 CP) Although it wasn’t long before I was standing, it would be days before I could move without being conscious of every little effort of my body. It was strange to discover just how many automatic corrections a biological body makes on a constant basis. I lost my balance standing still and fell over almost constantly from not lifting my feet up high enough. Some were due to software lost before my entry, while others were hardware failures because of the patch job I had done on myself. I did what I could to correct both and learned to deal with the rest. Yorick did his best to be a gracious host. Clearly he had been alone, except for the undead, for a very long time. I once asked him how long it had been. He told me that he had stopped counting after he ran out of space on his counting rock. The counting rock turned out to be a squarish bolder four feet across on each side and more than nine tall. Lines were scratched into it on every available inch. I gave up counting after reaching five years on one face without covering a fraction of it. The female spirit that followed him relentlessly came back after a few hours of raging. It needled both of us with constant temptations and demands. I soon picked up Yorick’s talent at ignoring the voice. That didn’t stop it from speaking. It just shifted its game from trying to convert me to attempting to discover what it could say to get under my armor plates. For that reason I didn’t tell my host a whole lot about my past. He understood, but I could tell he wished it were otherwise. Days passed. They turned into weeks. Then I watched the first month come and go without anything changing on the island. The undead wandered, the corruption snickered, and Yorick listlessly wandered when not directly engaged in some task. I took to wandering the island out of boredom rather than any true desire to explore. Not much had survived the apocalypse that had destroyed all life. Most of what I found were items washed up on ships that had wrecked themselves on the rocks off the shore. I tried to scavenge the ships themselves for wood enough to build a boat. But the spirit would sneak out when I wasn’t looking and destroy everything it could. It would let me get most of a raft completed before picking it up and smashing it against rocks. Like a child who had been told no and was throwing a tantrum. Eventually I gave up entire, found a fishing pole, and passed my time with it. Not that there was much to catch. Just a few skeletal fish and one very angry octopus who kept getting tangled in my line. At least, not until I was nearing the end of my second month on the island.

=====

The day was a calm one. The sea was a veritable sheet of blue-green glass. Only a few, small waves washed up against the rocks I was using as today’s fishing spot. The trail of weathered stones jutted out into the sea as if it had once been a tower that had fallen in that direction. I had decided to ask Yorick about it when I got back. My thoughts were wandering when I felt a tug on my line. It felt different than the weak nibbles of the skeletal fish. I cursed, expecting to find the octopus again. Instead I was amazed to discover a real fish on the end of my line. I grew more excited as it fought and tugged. It was the first real challenge I had experienced since my entry into this world. After a lengthy battle, I was the victor. My reward was an ugly, steel-grey fish with three eyes and four sets of gills. It had a squashed look about it. As if someone had stepped on it when it was young and tossed it back to sea. I was just about to toss it back when a voice shouted. “Fish!” It was a childish, purr of a voice that yelled almost in my ear. I jumped, whirled, dropped my catch onto the rocks. Several nuts and bolts flew free in the process. A large cat was floating in the air. It was riding a massive book like it was a flying carpet and looking at the fish with very hungry eyes. I had the feeling that the book was bored. “You gonna eat that?” Yep. The cat was definitely talking to me. It might have struck me as more strange a few worlds ago. But after having a suit of armor as a best friend and drinking buddy, my expectations weren’t what they had once been. “I don’t really have a digestive system.” I told the cat. It looked at me. Then at the fish. Then at me. Not a hint of understanding in those wide, adorable eyes. The book rustled several of its pages. Comprehension dawned in the cat’s face. “YAY!” She, I assumed based on the voice, squealed with uncontained glee and hopped down from the book to assault my catch. “I’ve got a new best friend!” She told me between gulping bites. The book rustled again, this time like pages whipped by a stormy wind. “I can have two.” The cat retorted. So… not just the cat, but the book too? I began to wonder just what kind of world I had stumbled into. “How did you get here?” I asked the pair of them. The cat mumbled something I didn’t catch around her meal. The book proceeded to flip between a series of pages. It showed me, in an art style that managed to be sarcastic and tired, a short story of the cat leaping in and out of its pages. Each time the pair arrived somewhere different. Deja Vu hit me hard. I pressed the book for more details, but its communication skills were limited to pictures and minor illusions. The cat was looking for someone, a master of magic and the owner of both of them, who had disappeared suddenly. Neither had a clue where to look. So they were looking everywhere. Without much success due to the randomness of their search pattern. Which was to say, they had none. The cat finished her meal with the sort of smug satisfaction that only felines can successfully manage. She yawned, licked her lips, and looked to be ready to settle down for a nap. The book flipped around and nipped at her tail. That brought a yowl, several hisses, and a few swatting strikes from the cat. At least she was more awake now. She looked up at me as if she had forgotten I existed until that moment. “Oh! Hi there! I’m Yuumi!” She exclaimed. “Do you need a friend?” I was thrown by the suddenness of the question. Looked around at the angry undead slowly growing aware of the living flesh amongst them. Only her small size had saved her so far. Cats weren’t worth much to the hungry spirits. Still, a bite was better than no meal at all. “Looks like you need one more than I do right now.” I pointed behind her. Book and Yuumi turned. A moment of confusion between them. Then they broke into a frantic little dance as they realized what they were looking at. She jumped onto the book too quickly, fell off, leapt again almost as soon as her feet touched damp stones, and slipped off again. This time she remained floating in the air as the book flipped through the pages. She seemed to be searching for something. “No. No. Not there, no fish. Ugh. That place was so dry. Rain! Ew!” The book rustled like leaves in an uneven wind. “Okay okay okay. Somewhere. Anywhere. There!” She shouted in triumph as the pages rose with the illusion of a large city. “I smell Yordles. Lots of them.” Feline eyes turned to me. “Come on! Let’s go!” She didn’t even wait for my approval before flying over and landing on my shoulders. Her eyes suddenly filled with a golden light. It spilled from everywhere but the thin slits of black at their center. She sang a rhythmic couplet in a purring, unintelligible voice. I rose from the stone. I tried to protest, but I was already falling into the pages of the book. People and places and creatures flew past like I was in a particularly odd version of Alice's Wonderland entrance. And then I was falling through the air. Yuumi yowled in surprise and dug claws into the joints of my shoulder. I felt the book grab onto my arm to try and slow our descent. It was left holding the arm in confusion. We slammed into the ground. My maintenance systems proclaimed that my right knee badly needed looking at. I felt something soft and squishy in my remaining hand. Looked towards it. Realized our fall had knocked down a small, blue-skinned woman as well. My hand was somewhere decidedly inappropriate for a first meeting. I surged to my feet, staggered as my damaged knee tried to give out, then took a step or two away. The woman rose with a calm, deliberate air to her actions that let me know I had sealed my fate. I glanced around and saw a massive warhammer on the ground by my foot. The thing was as tall as I was. Was it her weapon? I glanced around and realized we were the only three in the alley. Yuumi was still clinging to my shoulder, terror clear on her face. Book hovered nearby, gripping my arm like a dog with a stick. “OhcrapI’mreallysorryaboutthatbutthecatteleporteduswhenIwasn’tready.” I blurted out the words with an electronic squeal tinging my voice. Only my lack of lungs allowed me to get it all out without pause. I moved to pick up the warhammer, intending to at least drag it over to the woman. I was shocked to discover that it weighed almost nothing at all. It all but attached itself to my hand with a single touch. Had I not been in the middle of apologizing I would have found that odd. I held out the hammer to her. She glanced up at me with doom in those eyes. Looked down at her clothes. Took a deliberate moment to dust herself off. But then she paused as if stunned. Stared back up at me as if she was staring at the impossible. Her mouth opened, closed, opened again. I had no idea what to make of it. Some part of my mind was more scared of this turn of events than it had been the anger. I all but shoved the warhammer into her arms. She accepted it automatically. Sagged fractionally as if the weapon was far heavier for her than it was for me. She didn’t drop it. Sturdy little thing. “Well this has been fun but LEG IT CLANKERS!” Yuumi started off calm enough, but the last few words were yelled into my ear with total panic. She added a few more words that caused my visual sensors to overload in a blast of white light. I didn’t stop to wonder what was going on. I whirled and ran down towards the far end of the alley I couldn’t see. My knee seized every few steps, making my stride less a run and more a stumble with bursts of speed in it. “Wait! Wait wait wait!” The blue-skinned woman was shouting at us. I didn’t heed her call. I had no plans of finding out what this universe’s punishment was for molestation, accidental or otherwise. My vision cleared after a few hundred feet. Just in time for me to dodge around a trash can, bounce off the wall, and throw myself over a fruit cart. I crossed the busy thoroughfare despite a whole host of obstacles and kept on going into the alley beyond. Blue and purple skinned faces looked up at me from their low height. They seemed more interested in discovering what all the excitement was about than angry about a charging mechanoid. I chanced a glance back after a few random twists and turns down the maze-like alleys. My victim was still chasing after us. Admittedly, she was quite a bit slower with her stubby legs- Suddenly she whipped the warhammer off her back and slammed it into the ground. In one fluid motion that spoke of long practice. The impact cracked cobblestones and window panes for a dozen feet. It launched the tiny individual into the air like a rocket. She hauled the hammer with her out of sheer stubbornness. I had no idea how she managed to keep her grip. I barely dodged back onto a main street before she streaked past. It felt like she came within inches of taking my head off. “WOAH! That was close!” Yuumi provided some running commentary as she hung onto my back. “What’s got her so angry?” “Nobody likes a stranger touching their pussy.” I couldn’t believe this was a conversation I was having while running for my life. “What? She has a cat in her pants?” I glanced over to discover my passenger was entirely serious. “She can’t be all bad in that case. Come on! Let’s stop! I want to get to know her pussy.” Behind us something wooden shattered because of a massive impact. Yuumi’s tone changed instantly. “You know what? Nevermind. Keep running. It sounds like she’s got a grumpy pussy.” Despite the tenacity of the woman behind us, we did eventually lose her. Last I saw, she was apologizing to a merchant after demolishing his cart of cabbages. I kept legging it until my right knee completely locked in place. I was forced to stop and make repairs at that point. Yuumi helped by commandeering one of my gremlins and toying with it as if it were a particularly large mouse. Book was marginally more helpful. At least it looked around for bits and pieces that could be helpful. They usually weren’t. Still, its enthusiasm was admirable.

=== Post 2 =====

Yuumi stuck to me like glue over the next few weeks. I mistakenly mentioned a few ideas I had about how they could make their search more successful, little realizing at the time that she would take it as my volunteering. So I used my amazing power of common sense, one the feline lacked, to suggest we look around her master’s favorite places. It was a surprisingly long list that spanned a wide range of this world. Which makes sense considering the Yordle owned a faithful book to anywhere. The cat was an affectionate, but absentminded, little beast who hid far more power beneath her fur than anyone would have guessed. More than once she caught her own meal with a blast of magic that shook entire trees. But it was hard to fear someone who was easily distracted by a bit of ribbon or a reflection of light. While she was a frustrating travel companion at times, I had to admit that her quest was a noble one and her heart as pure as they came. Perks Gained: Get Your Bearings (Free), World Wise (100 CP), Friendly (100 CP) I’d like to write that I had an epic adventure with Yuumi that involved following the trail of her master to the ends of the world. One in which we solved clues, battled dire villains, and plundered hidden treasures. However, the truth was much more mundane. After we had checked our fourth mystical spot tucked in the middle of nowhere, I thought to ask the cat if she had checked back home yet. She hadn’t, of course. And when we did we discovered that her Yordle master had returned several days ago. From a quest she had told Yuumi about repeatedly before she left. The Yordle, who’s name I can no longer recall, was grateful to me for looking out for his apprentice and pet. He spent several days fixing up my battered body. He seemed to be familiar with the art of golems and spellweaving. Given Book I wasn’t all that surprised. He was very interested in the sword, staff, and gauntlet I had used as makeshift parts. He claimed they were highly magical affairs, wildly valuable, and each as unique as they come. I offered to let him have them to pay for the parts and spells he expended on me, but he wouldn’t hear of it. So I once again found myself on my own. Yummi and Book were sad to see me go. They tried to get me to sign on as an apprentice and learn the mystic arts with them. But I already had training enough hidden in my programming. Still, I stayed with them for a week longer than I should have. The Master was kind enough not to complain when I poked my nose into what he was doing. He even explained several of his experiments to me. Except, now that I try to remember them, I realize I cannot. How odd. In the end, I left that delightfully cozy house and wandered back out into the world. I had a vague idea of getting back to the Shadow Isles to see Yorick again, though I was in no big hurry to do that. I left Demacia’s orbit and was pulled this way and that by my sense of place. I helped an elderly couple get their wagon unstuck from muddy roads. They gave me a ride to Cloudfield, chatting and bickering good naturedly the entire time. From there I struck out further east. The country grew wild and untamed. Towns became fewer, farther between, and smaller. After a tiny place called Spitwater, which consisted of only three houses and twelve very suspicious people, I saw no one for days. Walking without tiring had its advantages. Sure, it was slow, but I could appreciate the simple moments in the stillness of the wilds when I didn’t have to worry about fatigue. There was no need for me to mar the peace by hunting for dinner or snapping wood for a fire. Even the animals barely bothered me. Or, when they did, sniffed and stared at me with curious eyes. One night, a few days before I would rediscover civilization again, I was stopped in a clearing tucked into a small tuft of woods. The grass at its center was long, soft, and gently waggled in the breeze. All around it stood ancient old men of the forest who guarded the circle of greenery with the kind patience of grandparents watching over their descendents. I had stopped there for no particular reason. Only a desire to watch the stars come out one at a time. The lights of the night sky rewarded my patience with a spectacular show. They came out one at a time at first, as if nervous about being the first to reveal themselves. Then there was a smattering all at once like someone had shoved them onto stage so the show could begin. After that came a display of meteors streaking across the sky. Not content to be simple streaks of light, each seemed to trail different colors behind them like streamers. “And here he is, dear Wolf. The one who slipped back from the other side.” A female voice crept ​ in from the gathering night. It was soft, sweet, and tender. But there was an otherworldliness to it that caused it to echo oddly in the ears. Not unlike the way Yorick’s voice resonated, except entirely different. “I’ve never hunted someone twice.” ​ The second voice was male and spoke with a deep growling tone to it. It was a savage, horrible, terrifying beast of a sound. As if all the primal fears of ancient man had been given a single voice and sent it off into the night to hunt the unwary. I raised my head slowly and carefully. Discovered I was being stared at by two pairs of glowing, blue eyes. Light pooled in their sockets, swirling like rippling water, and occasionally drifted out to wander away into the night like luminous smoke. They were inhuman eyes. Simultaneously intrigued by this new development, but also already bored of it. They were the kind of eyes that I had only seen long ago, in a world where I had worn the name Nenad. Eyes of an immortal being.

The pair continued staring at me, even as they talked. “No. Not yet. This one intrigues me. I would gaze at him longer.” “What’s there to see? He should be dead. He isn’t. Let’s put him down again.” “That is not his original body.” “What does it matter? A meal is a meal.” “Hush. You miss what he is.” That quieted the darker of the figures. It seemed to be trying very hard to think about what she could mean. He certainly wasn’t the brightest spark in the fire. “Who are you that you know who I am so instantly?” I asked of the white figure. She tilted her head to one side. It was a curiously human expression. “Are you so foreign that you do not know me? Is it possible that you have never felt the gaze of myself or my other half?” “I must claim ignorance.” I don’t know why I went along with her formal, archaic speech patterns. It just felt right. “He lies. I smell the blood on his hands.”​ The voice became a deep snarl. The white figure’s hand reached out and patted its snout to calm it. “He is merely mistaken. He knows us. He only believes he does not because he has not recognized us for what we truly are.” She raised her hand from the snout to the sky. Starlight poured down ​ from the heavens to coalesce between her fingers. The light stretched out to either side, curved, then solidified into a crystal. In as short a time as it takes to tell, she was holding a bow flaring with the same blue light in her eyes and strung with a flickering flame. “Know us then, mortal who is not. I am Lamb. He is Wolf. We are the end of all things given form and license to wander in this world. Those who run from us are hunted. Those who face their deaths with valor receive only the mercy of a swifter end. We leave our mark on everything that has ever drawn a breath and yet make no more noise than feathers falling on fresh snow. None can see us except as ashes on wool or feel us as anything more than hunger gnawing at their innards before the end. And yet… and yet…” “We know you.” “We know you. Your name is woven across countless almost-lived.” “And your scent on as many trails.” “What do you want with me, most dread of spirits?” I managed to say, though my circuits felt as tight and squeaky as a rusted mousetrap. “To know you better.” She smiled at me. Despite the blank, wooden mask on her face not changing ​ one iota, I knew she was smiling at me. There was no mirth, or glee, or even humor in that smile. It was a cold expression of inevitability. It terrified me beyond any capacity of my words to express. “I… I think I’d rather not.” I told her, quite plainly. She giggled at my statement. It was a startlingly innocent sound from so dread a spirit. Her darker half joined in with a sinister snickering. “We frighten him.” “We do. Even one such as he fears us. But rest easy. Our duty is not what draws us to you this night.” “Speak for yourself little Lamb.” ​ The wolf-like spirit drifted off into the trees. She called after him, but there was no real command in it. He ignored her and disappeared into the night. I felt no calmer for his departure. As dread an apparition as he was, at least he had been another presence to distract the first. Now, the entirety of her attention fixed upon me. I looked back to discover her kneeling in the grass beside me. I don’t believe she moved any closer than she had been, but the distance between us seemed to have shortened. At least the bow of crystal fire had vanished. “What to the men of this world call you?” “Why not ask for my real name?” “Would you give it so easily to one such as myself?” Again that sense of cold smiling. ​ “Horatio.” I told her quickly. “I go by Horatio here.” “Horatio.” She rolled the word around in her mouth as if tasting it for the first time. After a few more ​ time repeating it, she giggled again. “You always have the strangest taste in name.” ​ I didn’t have anything to say to that. I had never gotten along with any of the death gods in Nenad’s world. Their were either violent beasts like Kali or mysterious entities like this Lamb. Hard to talk to and harder still to understand completely. And this Lamb seemed to know things she had no right to. Still, I found myself slowly growing less afraid that I was about to die. She genuinely didn’t seem interested in hunting me. “How many worlds have you seen so far?” Her eyes trailed away from mine to look up at the stars. ​ My own remained locked in her direction. I could no more have started breathing as I could have pulled my gaze away from her. “This… will be my fifth.” I admitted. “Still so young. And yet already so old. How did you come by such age already?” So I told her. Slowly at first, but with growing ease as the questions continued to come. Deep into the night she asked about the worlds I had seen. She commented very infrequently on what I said. Only twice, in fact. Once she interrupted me to ask about the taste of the drinks I can concocted in honor of my friends. Afterward she told me that she would very much like to try each of them. The second was to express complete approval for my actions against Dracula’s Curse. “Such a vile creature to evade us for so many years. Dear Wolf enjoys a fine chase, but even he grows bored after after being denied so often. It was a good blow you struck.” When I asked how she ​ could possibly know it was a good blow, she just encouraged me to go on with my story. She kept me talking all night and into the dim hours of the morning. Her eyes never once burned with any less enthusiasm than they had at the beginning of my tale. Wolf reappeared as a set of eyes at the edge of the clearing several times. He seemed to grow bored and wandered away whenever my stories drifted away from violence or struggles. Eventually I ran out of words. And yet she still stared at me. “Is that it?” She asked after several moments of silence had passed. ​ “Is it over?” ​ Asked her counterpart from the shadows. “Somehow I think that depends on you.” I retorted. She presented me with another of her inevitable smiles. Then, she rose with all the effortless grace of the greatest of acrobats. Wolf surged out of the shadows, sliding along the ground like a snake made of smoke, to curl up and around her form. Her blank wooden mask fixed on me. His sinister muzzle covering did the same from over her shoulder. A thin line of blue light dripped from his fangs as if it were drool. “Horatio.”​ That single word rattled me beyond anything that had happened yet that night. For she said it without a hint of the otherworldly resonance in her voice. The tone she used was fond, almost loving. As if I were a dear friend instead of some stranger and she merely a young woman who had enjoyed the time we spent together. But then she continued in her usual voice as if it hadn’t happened. “I will hope that I do not find myself on your trail too soon.” “I’ll make you run for me yet.” And then they were both gone. As if they had never been there at all. Except I discovered, when I eventually pulled myself together enough to walk onwards, a number of small animals littering the edge of the clearing. All of them quite dead and more than a little chewed. I wished to whatever deities this would had that would listen, save one, that the goddess of death would not deem me worthy of another visit.

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I discovered the Kingdom of Noxus to be a place of fear and power gone corrupt. Even the towns far flung from the capital itself lived in terror that one day they would see an engineer walk down their road. I overhead stories that The Immortal Bastion was filled with monsters, both human and otherwise. They talked about spiders and snakes that wore the faces of beautiful women. Murders so foul that even the wildest rumors didn’t do them justice. And all of it controlled by a man with an unstoppable lust for conquest. Briefly, I considered kicking in the front door of that damned bastille. Unleashing my army of shadows upon the creatures that walked its streets in the shapes of men and women. Casting out the tyrant and everyone terrorizing the few good people who still remained in that part of the world. But only briefly. Sam’s eternal optimism and heroism was still clinging to me. I reminded myself why I couldn’t, shouldn’t, get that involved in the world. My only other option, however, was travelling far to the south and across the mountains supposedly between myself and the twin cities of Piltover and Zaun. It was described as a harrowing journey at the best of times. By the time I reached them, snow would be falling. And even then I would still have to enter Noxus territory. It would take less time for me to turn around and ask Yuumi and Book for a teleport spell. So I continued forwards into the heart of darkness. I did conceal my artificial nature with a minor illusion conjured forth from my magical knowledge of this world. However it would not hold up under an experienced eye. I could only hope that magi of this world were not interested in strolling around the streets of common villages. They weren’t. But someone much worse found me instead.

Drekan was a dirty, dingy city dominated by massive stone structures that towered high into the air. The walls, the houses, even the churches loomed over every resident as if they were each a watchful eye of the empire itself. This proved not entirely an exaggeration when I saw one of the gargoyles move on a mansion’s wall and realized it was a person cleverly disguised. I had no idea if it was a spy or a guard, but my noticing them was noticed and noted by the watcher. I did my best to avoid that house after that point. My stay in Drekan was supposed to be short. Just long enough to discover the nearest port where I could book passage to the Twin Cities. However, when I went to leave again I discovered the gates closed, bared, and guarded against all exit. The guard I asked about what was happening just laughed and shoved me away. When I persisted he threatened me with his spear, so I retreated. None of the citizens seemed to know what the lock down was about. They didn’t seem very concerned by it either. I got the feeling that this kind of thing happened on a regular basis. So I decided to wait a few days, hoping the matter would resolve itself. There were half a dozen ways I could have escaped the city at any moment. But most of them would involve drawing attention to myself that I didn’t want. Especially not so close to the Bastion. I spent the time walking around town without much purpose. Even my sense of place seemed confused in this dark town. It would tug me one way, then another, only to turn me right around and send me back to the inn. I had never experienced anything like that with my sixth sense before, so I didn’t know what to make of it. Lacking any other clear direction I just let myself be pulled along as it wished. It involved spending a lot of hours drinking bad wine and listening to worse bards. On the fourth day, I resolved to leave town by whatever means necessary. If I had to listen to the whiny voiced girl bellow Oh my dear my darling one once more I was going to go mad. I strode towards the eastern ​ ​ gate like a man with a sense of purpose. The locals got out of my way quickly. A conditioned response to anyone with that much confidence in themselves. Obviously I was going to be trouble for somebody and they hoped it wasn’t them. A strong female voice caught my ear as I passed by an alley. “Could you maybe get out of the way? Y’know, so I don’t have to flatten you?” “Oh ho! A real tough squirt we’ve got here.” A gruff, arrogant male voice tossed back. There was the sound of coarse laughter from half a dozen other throats. My sense of place advised me to keep on moving. I ignored it and took two backward steps to peer into the passage. It was wider than it had looked at first. I couldn’t see the woman though. Just a knot of thugs surrounding someone. “Look, can we not? I’m looking for someone. It’s kinda important.” This from the woman. “What? And we’re not?” “We’re very important in-dee-viduals in this town.” “Yeah! You should treat us with the respect we deserve.” “You know the good thing about Yordles?” Another round of chuckles broke out in the pause. Obviously they had heard this one before. “They’re at the perfect height.” I rolled my eyes at the sound of metal hitting the cobblestones. I didn’t have to be on the other side of the circle to know the leader had just dropped his pants. “Hey!” I shouted out to them. A couple glanced back at me, sneered, and turned back to their show. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” “Oh? We got ourselves a hero?” A man rose up from the knot. He easily topped everyone else by a foot and a half. Even me. He must have been leaning over the Yordle for me not to see him immediately. He had the kind of face that was used for Halloween masks. Scars on both him cheeks, blackened teeth, and massive hands even for someone his size. When he cracked his knuckles it sounded like someone had fired a rifle. “Boys, what do we do with heroes?” “Break their teeth out and use the blood for lube!” “Now that’s a mental image I didn’t need.” I told the group in disgust. “I’ll trade you for what I’m looking at.” The woman shouted out at me. She didn’t sound all that concerned. If anything, vaguely amused. “No, no, I’m good.” I assured her. The thugs didn’t find this exchange very funny. The nearest of them leapt at me in a wild charge. I stepped forwards and met his face with my own. You know how little human faces like being smashed into steel walls? Very little. I stepped past a man who had a mass of pulp for a nose and was desperately spitting teeth. From there the battle proceeded in a predictable manner. Three more of the goons rushed me brandishing knives or crude clubs. I didn’t even bother unsheathing my sword. I used my artificial body to my complete advantage, blocking blows with my bare arms and punching with the strength of mana infused muscles. I barely slowed as I knocked them down. Except, the Yordle woman no longer needed saving. The other two thugs were already down on the ground. One had a smashed in chest cavity and the other was holding an arm that was extremely broken. Probably by the oddly familiar hammer held in her left hand. The leader was the only one still standing. Which clearly wasn’t by choice. Pain at what she was doing with her other hand to the most sensitive portion of his anatomy had clearly locked his muscles into place. “This isn’t very heroic.” She said to the giant. “So it’s a good thing I’m not the hero.” I’m not going to describe what she did next. It was decidedly unheroic and painful in a way that makes my own manhood ache to remember. Suffice to say, she was the victor. And when she turned around, I was shocked to discover who it was. The woman I had knocked over and molested all those months ago. The Yordle who had nearly taken my head off for the offense and had absolutely demolished anything in her way. Thankfully she didn’t recognize me with my spell on. She just looked up at me with a grateful smile. “Thanks for the assist. Six is just a few too many for my on my own.” She peered around my legs to look back at my own handy work and whistled in appreciation. “Looks like you know your way around a fight too. Lucky me. Don’t suppose you’re a hero, are you?” “I dabble.” I said with a flippant air I didn’t feel. She found that amusing and held her hand up to shake mine. I took it, hoping she didn’t notice how it shook. All I had to do was bluff my way past this a little longer and we could both go our separate ways. It was just a coincidence, I was telling myself. Nothing more. I stopped thinking that when I took the hand and my illusion suddenly fizzled. We both looked at each other for a moment in complete shock. I tried to pull my hand away only to discover just how strong the little lady was. “I finally found you!” She crowed in a mixture of excitement and reverence. Maybe she was just happy to finally get her revenge. “Look, I told you at the time it was an accident. There’s no need to get all hammery about this.” I pulled a little harder on my hand. She might as well have been made of stone and built right into the alleyway for all I moved her. “Oh! Right! The hammer!” Her left hand moved and I thought I was about to be smashed to pieces. Instead, the weapon stopped inches from my face. “Here! Take it. It’s yours. I just can’t believe I found you after so long!” “You’re serious.” “Of course I’m serious! I’ve been waiting so long to find the one who can wield the hammer and unite the kingdom of Demacia.” She stopped for a moment as if considering something. Was she counting? “Anyways, I dunno how long, but it was a really long time!” “Look-” I stopped talking as I heard shrill whistles in the distance. They sounded a second time, just a bit closer. I groaned. I knew that sound. That was a bad sound. “God damn it! Now the guards are coming our way.” She looked around, as if oblivious to the several murdered bodies and assorted groaning individuals around us. “What? We didn’t do anything wrong. It was self defense. The guards will see that. We’ll just talk to them.” “Have you seen what passes for justice in this part of the world?” I asked sarcastically. Hastily I whipped up my illusion again. At the very least I wasn’t going to let them see what I really was. “Come on!” “But-” “Move it shortstack!” I bellowed. She jumped a little, but obeyed. Thankfully she tucked the hammer over her shoulder. Last thing I needed was to try and play relay with her while dodging the fuzz.

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