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IN YOUR TIME of SORROW Available to Offer You Support During This Difficult Time

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IN YOUR TIME of SORROW Available to Offer You Support During This Difficult Time Our social work staff and chaplains are IN YOUR TIME OF SORROW available to offer you support during this difficult time. A guide for you and your family during your time of loss and grief. To request their support, please call 352.265.0224 or after regular business hours, call the operator at 352.265.0111. To request support by email, please contact [email protected]. UFHEALTH.ORG/BEREAVEMENT What is Grief? Grief is a multifaceted response to loss. The experience of grieving is “Above all, allow yourself time personal and unique to every individual. Grief is our body’s natural ability to heal our emotional pain. Grieving can be hard. A lack of — time to reflect, time to grieve understanding can make it even harder. and time to heal.” When we experience a loss, we are often flooded by grief, an emotion that may stay with us for years, though its intensity will often vary. Acute grief is all-consuming, hindering our ability to do our normal, everyday tasks. However, in time, this grief experience will begin to heal and fade to a more subtle form of grief. Often grief will begin to be expressed through remembrances of happiness and joy. These diverse emotions — acute grief, subtle grief, happiness and joy — develop a spinning spiral, similar to a hurricane. The event serves as the eye of the emotional storm with bands of conflicting emotion circling about. The process of grieving involves restructuring your life without the presence of someone you may have thought would always be there. It is the process of figuring out again “Who am I and how can I honor my loved one?” In time, your grief journey becomes a part of who you are. You will find ways to create meaning out of your life and those you love, and have loved, so deeply. If you experience any of these feelings, it is important to be aware that, although intense, they are a normal part of grief and in many Helpful resources for coping with grief and loss ways are helpful to the healing process. However, if you feel you would benefit from additional support than what is available to you, can be found at the websites listed below: please consider seeking professional help and grief services. } UFHealth.org/bereavement } UFHealth.org/palliativecare } HavenHospice.org/grief-support-and-counseling.aspx } HospiceofCitrus.org/programs/grief-services } Compassionatefriends.org } Sevenponds.com Grief Takes Many Forms Grief is not only about sadness. You may be in shock or experience difficulty focusing on your daily tasks. You may be experiencing a range of intense feelings or an overall emotional feeling of numbness, Remembering to Take Care of Yourself especially soon after your loved one’s death. From moment to moment you may: It is important to nurture and take care of yourself by recognizing your physical, spiritual and emotional needs. Here are some ways to do so: } Not want to believe the death of your loved one is real. } Experience feelings of anger or helplessness. } Find time to grieve. It’s what will } Physical activity is a healthy } Question yourself about what else you could have done. lead to your healing. stress reliever; try to exercise } Find yourself experiencing sad moods and feelings of hopelessness regularly. } Go easy on yourself. It’s normal or despair. to have problems concentrating. } Take care of your physical self. } Feel guilty for experiencing feelings of relief. } Seek out and communicate Get enough sleep and drink } often with those who offer you plenty of water. Accept the loss and feel able to cope. support. } Give yourself permission to } Become numb and feel disconnected from your surroundings. } Find comfort in sharing enjoy life again. memorable stories about your } Allow yourself the time needed Death can often leave a sense of emptiness in your life where your loved one who has died. to mend before making big life loved one used to be. The loss can also affect the way you see yourself and your ability to function day to day. Healing from a loss starts with } Surround yourself with the changing decisions. facing the facts. people with whom you feel } Be kind to yourself. most comfortable and safe. } Find strength and comfort } Accept that the loss did happen and, as a result, you and your life } Feel and express your emotions, through your spiritual beliefs. have been forever changed. whether it is through tears, } Seek out professional laughter or silence. bereavement support if the } Know that it is possible for you to experience feelings of loss for need should arise. an extended period of time. } Understand you will experience happiness in your life again. } Accepting the loss does not mean that you will forget your loved one. } Acceptance allows for hope and joy to return as part of your life again. Healthy Coping Strategies Strategies for coping with your loss can help you find ways to remember your loved one. Certain activities may enable you to identify and process the emotions and memories of the person who died. Below are a few healthy coping ideas for adults and children: } Start a journal. } Listen to music you } Create a scrapbook. enjoy hearing. } Participate in life review — } Create a list of the good sharing stories and fond things in your life. memories. } Find or return to hobbies and } Express the emotions you activities you enjoy doing. are experiencing. } Answer questions about death } Write a letter to the person when asked by children. who has died. } Join a support group. } Exercise or find other physical } Participate in your familiar rituals, Avoid Common “Grief Traps” activities you enjoy doing. like religion or spirituality. } Breathe deeply, practice Tai Chi } Create a memorial or tribute for Because grief hurts, it is tempting to look for ways to avoid the pain. or yoga. special occasions. Be careful not to avoid your feelings during this time since it is common for unresolved grief to resurface in your life at a later time. Make an effort to avoid anything that delays healing and may cause new problems. Some “grief trap” examples are: } Using drugs or alcohol to numb your feelings. } Making the loss seem smaller than it actually is (“we weren’t very close”). } Working extra-long hours to avoid the pain of returning home. People sometimes try to deal with grief by engaging in dangerous } Turning to food to numb your pain. or self-destructive activities. These can include excessive drinking, } Staying alone to avoid sad feelings that may arise around friends or family. abusing drugs or engaging in other destructive behaviors to escape from the feelings of loss and emotional pain. Sometimes, these lifestyle choices can be linked to an increased feeling of depression and sadness. If you find yourself making these choices as a way to numb your grief and sadness, you may benefit from speaking with a mental health professional. What Happens Next? • After death, your loved one remains at the hospital until you have designated a funeral home or crematory. If you have not decided on a funeral home, your loved one can remain temporarily (approximately 48 hours) in the hospital holding area until arrangements are completed. What to Expect in Medical Examiner’s Cases • If you are the family spokesperson, you will be asked to make the decisions on the final arrangements for your loved one. If you already The types of cases in which the medical examiner will become involved made these arrangements, please provide the information to the medical are dictated by Florida State Statute (406.11). staff who will convey this to the coordination clerk. You will be asked to sign a form verifying your choice for final arrangements. If you and your Examples of cases that go to the medical examiner’s office include: family need some time to think about this, please call the coordination clerk at 352.265.0930 within 48 hours to provide the information. They are } Accident or injury open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. } Suspicious cause or unusual circumstances • Any personal belongings that arrived at the hospital with your loved one } Motor vehicle, boating and diving incidents are placed in a secure location with UF Health Shands Hospital security. } Unexplained death In some situations, additional personal belongings may be at a towing } Suicide company or the Florida Highway Patrol station. • Death certificates are completed by the funeral home. You may purchase An autopsy is generally required in all of the above situations. Other as many original copies as needed from the funeral home. Many places accidents and traumas may require an autopsy as well. The autopsy will only accept originals of the death certificate. To save time, calculate will be performed in the county where the person’s death occurred. how many death certificates you will need for life insurance policies, In some cases, this means the medical examiner’s office may not be bank accounts, tax purposes, etc. and request all copies at once. If the Alachua County location. It usually takes one to two days for the needed, you can obtain additional copies later through the Department medical examiner to complete an autopsy. Once a decision is made of Vital Statistics. about final arrangements, the patient’s spokesperson should call the • If you are wondering about an autopsy, you should discuss this with your medical examiner’s office to give to them the information. loved one’s physician. If an autopsy is performed, the patient’s physician will provide you with the results. The results typically take six weeks; however, they can take up to 90 days.
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