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Everything you wanted to mow about the executive candidates but were afraid to ask ELECTION EDITORIAL fied this. Some say that as an independent student Unfortunately though, he hasn't shown any

newspaper, the Cord has a duty to stay neutral leadership this past year - on the Board or off in this year's Students' Union election. it. He also seems to have escaped unscathed We considered this. But the Tacts are that from revealing what happened in a YVLUSU in

the Cord has watched these candidates camera Board meeting - Anish Makim was

throughout the election - at the open forum in raked over the coals for doing the same. the Concourse and residences, and sat down We'd hate to lose him as a Board member, with them to find out what they know about and should he not win we hope he'll stay active Union's volunteers.' the issues. Over the last three and four years, in the Students' Union. we've seen candidates both shine and fade into Brad Ross: As the CfeaU" of.thfc OrtidnV the background. Mike McMahon: With the token exception of Constitution, Operations & IVvelopmeiil com* Only the President and Vice President the school-spirit-raising Dirty Dozen commit- mittee, Boss knows a 10l about the itoHT work- University Affairs are listed here. We're not tee, McMahon has no direct Board experience, ings of the Board, but htoaH had much, if any, saying that the Board of Directors candidates likewise, he's done his basic homework on the experience representing ihe I'nion outside of aren't worthy of notice, but there's just too Issues but provided no real insight. the school. damn many of them to go into any detail. Instead of either experience or knowledge, I lis presentation abilities are a Itttlc- shaky, Read what we have to say, and vote accord- the selling point of his campaign is the man but he's still a well informed i&vttnr wfco dots? ing to your own mind. Despite popular opinion, himself. He looks like he could deal with any tlie job and does it well, th

has shored up many of the shortcomings that run next year's Board - leading by example. Administration, but white his campaign plat- current President Ralph Spoltore had by keep- McMahon seems to be entering into this form describes his style as "non confmulation- ing him in touch with the Board's opinions, and race without any obvious Board connections al" his record says (he reverse. The ili-meived staying on top of the issues. and he wouldn't play favourites, but he could Hellfire and Brimstone statawfit he made to McCormick has negotiated with the WIAJ just as soon get walked all over by (lie Union's the WLU Senate conceiving giving one of the Administration on behalf of the students on full-time staffand Administration. eight student seats to the graduate students such projects as the Ancillary Pecs agreement. only proved this. Currently on 61 committees, he tends to Paul Gray: He's aggressive, of that there's no lie just isn't a team player; his straight bite oil' more than he can chew, but still man- doubt. That's good. Cray doesn't speak on what arrow/pitbull approach when dealing with peo- aged to keep all his campaign promises. he doesn't know, that's good too. But what Gray ple shows he could brush up on his tact, fie There's no doubt that he can handle the pres- doesn't know amounts to a lot. That's bad. 1 le's twice demanded an apology from VP Finance sure; McCormick has done a lot of damage coming into this race cold. Jay Wadden in the last Board meeting, alter control for the Board this year when ho could Gray has a lot of volunteer experience, he's President Spoltore said the issue had already have just as easily let people shoot off their on SHAPE and Emergency Response Teams, been dealt with. mouths and hang themselves. but has no direct experience on the Board of I lis directorship this year has been tainted lately though, his past professional conduct Directors. with scandal, and he would likely bulldoze over

has been questioned - most obviously at the I Ie would have a hard time holding together next year's Board; browbeating diem with his Open Forum in the Concourse. He vindicated a raw Board, and could find himself reliving extensive experience and knowledge. himself of these charges at the time and many of the mistakes made by this year's remains a strong presence. Board. We're not trying to tell you how to vote, just what we think of the candidates. On March 2nd Kelly Westlake: Only in 2nd year at WLU Candidates for Vice President University you have the chance to take part in choosing now, with one tour of duty as a Board member Affairs: who will ultimately be representing you to the under his belt, Westlake seems to have Pat McMurrich: As the Board's representative Administration, the government, and the ever- leapfrogged into running for President. to the Municipal city council, McMurrich has vigilant press. It's your decision.

1 le's shown a lot of good ideas at Open experience representing WLUSU externally - a The Cord Editoral Board Forums that some of his running mates have quality vital to any VP University Affairs candi- begun to use, and has gone to the trouble of date. He's also met with ex-leader of the ex- The opinions expressed in this educating himself on the issues in detail - the Soviet Union Mikhail Gorbachev. But editorial are those ofthe authors, loopholes he found in the Operations and McMurrich probably wouldn't inspire an and do not neccessarily reflect those of Procedures Agreement that the Union is ham- armed coup d'etat. the rest ofthe Cord staff, or ofits publisher, mering out with the Administration exempli- He's really done his homework oi lato and WIJJ Student Publications NOTICE: Deadline Changes Application deadlines for Vice President positions and Student Services Manager have been extended to Tuesday March 7 at noon. All coordinator and manager position deadlines have been extended to Tuesday March 14 at noon.

Applications for the following volunteer positions are available from 8:30 to 4:30 in the WLUSU main office. Deadline to hand applications is Tuesday, March 21, 1995 at noon to Mary Hughes. University Affairs Department

• Laurier Students for Literacy *Foot Patrol Assistant Coordinator

Executive Committee • Foot Patroller • Legal Resource Counsellors •BACCHUS Boosters Student Activities Department

•Board of Student Activities 'Homecoming Committee • Orientation Week *Oktoberfest Committee Head Icebreakers and *Winter Carnival Committee Icebreakers *Charity Ball Committee Marketing Department

•Graphic Artists Finance Department

• Accounts Receivable Clerk President ""^^To^ißTcreTar^™

• • Executive Assistant Researcher NEWS THIS ISSUE O.P.A. follies The cover says it all. Remember all that election hoopla before the break? Well, its WLUSUstands up Board Governors, GradStudents still on, so on come out on March 2 and of pick a candidate. Those candidates should not be pissed oil' about the delay in cere- MARK HEASLEY These all-encompassing must be using this as some sort of final, legal draft was not the one mony. It gave as all a good chance to forget CORD NEWS agreements (OPAs) mandate how pressure tactic," said Grad the Union had previously the chaos of that open forum. What open In what was to be a quiet VVLU's Administration and Student Association President approved of in principal. "The forum? Yah, I thought so. Only five weeks moment of celebration, members Students' Union conduct business Angie Crechido. way this is worded he'd lose half' leR. of WLU's Board of Governors with each other. Fifteen minutes later in the the Grad Student SUB (Student and the WLU Graduate Students This particular OPA has been Students' Union offices, a door Union Building ) fees, pay Association shifted from foot to five years in the making, with opened as Spoltore and his OPA Physical Plant and Planning for news foot, glancing at the clock as they WLUSU President Ralph Spoltore team hurried out ofhis office. the supervision of maintenance, Rxcellent budget cover- awaited a delegation from WLU and WLU VP Finance and Upon being told that everyone and we wanted a provision for no age this week. Paul Students' Union to enter the room Administration Andrew Berczi had left the meeting an unfazed competition with our bars," Martin a Liberal? ;md sign the new Operations and being the most visible players in Spoltore asked "Where?" explained Spoltore. You've got to be kid- Procedures Agreement. the home stretch. They both "Our lawyers took longer with Later, emerging from Berczi's ding? As well, we have The delegation never arrived. thought they had come to an it than we thought," explained office Spoltore said that WLU held off to give you the full interviews with I everyone left the room. agreement. Spoltore. "We didn't want to sign agreed with his objections and a this year's candidates. As for this week's But when the clock continued anything we're uncomfortable signed OPA was due shortly most interesting story, it has to be the OPA to tally up the minutes, Berczi with, and with this (OPA) we're Whether this event will affect and where was Ralph? assumed that the Union evidently not," he continued. WLUSU/ Board of Governors rela- "didn't have enough time yet to Spoltore explained that this tions remains to be seen. opinion examine the final legal docu- bits of letters still pour- ment.'' This wasn't made obvious ing in, and that's great. to the rest in attendance. The homophobia "It was understood that we debate continues with a came here to sign...they (WLUSU) fury. Another letter clarifies the meaning of the power of pro- Left: VPUA McCormick and tection against violence in society. WLUSU President Spoltore Definitely a lot of tough debate going on (right) emerge to find that- this week. HEASLEY Right ...everyone had followed Board of Governors Chair feature MARK Simms example and left. In Only read this week's the background President feature after you have Marsden consults with the spent all of PICTURE: grad students. your ambitous spirit for studying, because the future only holds despair. That seems to be what many of us are obsessed with, in our fascination with the studies and theme of "No surprise" budget... apocalypse. TOM HRUBES AND spending, Martin says he will ulcd 10% increase), at least for high access system in Canadian sports MARK HEASLEY save $16.6 billion over the next another year. society." Not were The swimming loam is Cord News two fiscal yeai-s. But at what cost Dr. Andrew Berczi, the WLU all student groups A in, and they are making On Monday February 27 federal to Canada's students? VP Finance and Administration critical of yesterday's budget. waves. Okay choosy, but Finance Minister Paul Martin Overall the budget seems to commented that "no one has fully story in the February 21 edition this week wo bring you announced his budget for the have sidestepped the issue of analyzed it (the budget) yet of the Toronto Sun said "Gareth an update on their suc- upcoming year. With small tax increasing university tuition although the ideas came as no Spanglett, president of the cessful team. As for our hockey favorites, hikes and big cuts to government (beyond Ontario's already sched- surprise." He added that the bud- University of Toronto's Student the Hawks lose a hoartbreaker in triple get would have "no immediate Administrative Council, said he's overtime. Condolences to Dcano on the effect this year." "happy" because the reprieve other hockey loss. j ! An integral part of the budget gives student leaders a year to ; l!11 I. j I be made.." includes taking post secondary see where cuts can entertainment i education, health, and the Whatever the reations, the I i 11 Canada Assistance Plan (tradi- ball is now in the provincial court. Hun, Forrest, run..all tionally separate transfer pay- tlie way to the Academy ments to the provinces) and awards. The Cord gives Some ofthe lumping them into one sum: you their update on the points of "Canada Social Transfers". main mainstream scene. As i The government will Martin's budget well, win a ticket to the Junos from your federal \ cut these payments by $7 billion friendly Cord entertainment editors. m IU SOCIAL include: \ 1996/97 and 1997/98. But this Shawn Callan also gives you an insight CUTS in Jf without strings attached. • A deficit of $37.9 bil- into the Junos. time projected m& \ The province will now have to lion to 1994-95, and $24.3 bil- // w decide how the money will be lion to 1996-97. UUH spent. This means that the full • The grouping together of past Its a little bit crazy up impact of the federal budget will secondary, health, and Canada here these days. People not be felt by students until the Assistance plan transfers under are sweaty, teeth are provincial budget is announced. one group to be called the \ chattering, minds are fQaursh/ The CFS (Canadian Canada Social Transfers. mushy. It's hiring time Federation of Students) took a • A gasoline tax of 1.5 mils/litre.

• for next year's Publications positions. You . ) dramatic response to the budget. A $975 fee for new immigrants too can use our computers with memory A press release on the budget to Canada. by the pound, right Stinson? Fditor-in- states that "Canadians now know • The privatization of Petro- chief applications are due by Thursday at what awaits them: hell." Ganada, CM railway and air- 4:oopm. All you need Ls a target attatched Guy Caron the Chairperson of parts. your to butt. the CFS said "...The government • The cutting of the civil service made all the wrong choices. Our by 45,000j0b5. future is being taken away from • The implementation of a new us by a government that refuses $2 coin to be designed and ..Where it's at... to recognize the devastating phased in by 1996. impact of its short-sighted obses- • The freezing, and then cutting sion with the deficit..." of federal transfer payments. In News 3 The Hxecutive Director of 1996-97 they will be cut by Opinion 8 OUSA (Ontario University $2.5 billion, in 1997-98 by $4.5 Feature 12 Students Association) Mike Burns billion. Sports 14 claimed "What we can anticipate • The cutting of Canada's foreign $532 million Entertainment 18 as students is [an] exponential aid program by increase in tuition over the next over 3 years Neu Studenten Kunst 22 two years. This [budget) has Classifieds 23 handicapped our ability to have a fUolto theCord March 1, 1995 3 (Newsy PAGE WLUSUpresidential SHELDON PICTURE: candidate Q & A Presidential candidates, from left, Kelly Westlake, Scott MARK HEASLEY attainable goals. It's as important to a school inflating fees. $30,000 over 5 years McCormick, Paul Gray and Mike McMahon. Cord News Board as keeping their personal promis- has been set aside for safety, it's forced Candidates all asked the same questions. es. This makes it possible for them to see the Union to recognize its commitment to (J #7: What qualities do you feel that you they're accomplishing something, and Foot Patrol. possess that set you above the other can- there's no room for personal agendas. McMAMON: As I said in the Open Forum, didates? McMAHON: I'd ensure that the Board the ancillary fees agreement is key. We PAUL GRAY: Number one, I'm aggressive, doesn't become a forum for personal now have the ability as students to make I do things at 110% . If you're not willing agendas. With level-headed authority, you sure that omnibus fees can't be jacked up. to do something with all your heart, then could stop those rash decisions that are I also have questions on why the fee for don't do it. made when you don't step back and think administering cheques paid out is so high Number two, I've had a lot of dealings how it will be reflected. - $20,000. ■r' Bk' with a lot of students. Like on LRT and WESTIAKH: One of this year's biggest WESTLAKE: I've gone through the agree- SI IAPR problems was communication. I know ments, and it was me that pointed out SCOTT McCORMICK: Experience and most of the candidates, they mostly seem that in section 13 of the agreement there understanding of the operations. It would to be in this to make things better, and I was a provision that would allow the take other presidents months to learn hope we can work together. 1 have a good school to nix the whole deal if they were what I already know. I'm a strong leader, understanding of the contracts, I think I in financial difficulties. What that meant that's something that I have that I don't can teach them and learn from there. I wasn't explained - it was so vague. I believe the others do. realize 1 don't have a monopoly on all the brought it up at the Board and we MIKH McMAHON: Over the last three right answers, so I'm always open. changed it. years in residence, I've showed a level of Q #3: A large part ofyourjob as president Q #5: /Is CEO of Will Students' Union, commitment and responsibility. I believe would be to represent the students to the how would you address the problem of in living as a role model, and not just talk- Administration. How would you make dropping sales in our profit centres ing about it. 1 lead by example, and have sure that student concerns were (Wilfs, Turret, Centre Spot)? a unique ability to bring people together addressed and effectively taken into con- GRAY: I'd have the Marketing department as a team. sideration? address the issue, have them put a team KLLLY WLSTIAKL: My platform showed GRAY: Number one: since I know a lot of together. 1 lave them meet with the peo- that 1 have innovative ideas. Other candi- common student concerns, I've got my ple. Also through expansion, that will give dates have begun borrowing them in resi- finger on the pulse of the school. Number it a shot in the arm in September. By no

dence talks, and I think that's great - it two: no organization can work without means does one person have all the means they're good ideas. I offer honest, effective communication. Start up the answers, anyone who says that is a fool. sincere, student-oriented leadership. Speaker's Comer, and maybe expand the McCORMICK: Address it by change. If Q #2: Considering that next year's Board Dirty Dozen into a two-way process to people are not going to the Turret or is going to be largely inexperienced, what find out what students need. Wilfs it's because they're going some- kind of leadership will you provide to McCORMICK: Have effective communica- where different, not because they quit keep them together? tion with students. I'd have an open-door drinking. We can and will ask exactly GRAY: My style of leadership Ls a little dif- policy and use the Speaker's Corner. I'd what people want. It's the same at the ferent, like Henry Blake from MASH: just guarantee that every OMB and Board Turret as anywhere, the bar needs an as long as the job gets done well and on member would watch it, they'd know it's enema to flush it out. to to ■ Alternative Video & Media jj Lime. The people under me would have to important feedback. If they took half the McMAMON: We have get somebody be committed to the students, if not, then I energy they use on their campaigns to excite people in them (profit centres) iHSOTSffIBIiIITO don't see any real reason for them being find out student opinions, tilings could get again, like the Dirty Dozen. The profit I'rlim 1 rlB ffBI'W'MSn ill here. better. centres have lost their flair that they used McCORMICK: Hands on and picking McMAHON: We have to have a strong to have on Thursday and Friday night voice with the due to line ups. I don't think that lower Administration. We should prices are the answer. If we make it negotiate and communicate known that this is where WLU students now, realized a • '"lyi fiTTr ii'i ' |h| By you've probably first. We've had greatrela- will be, then others will come, and habits tionship with them since will be formed. there's more to life than school, 1989, but you can't get WESTLAKE: To a large degree this will be tricked into thinking it'll rectified by the fresh new building. But k And that a job is only as good as always be there. we have to get the message out that when WFSTLAKH: We have to you use WIXJSU facilities the profits are - the career it builds. We can W help. present ourselves in a for- pumped back into student programs I'm mal, professional manner. concerned about how to compete when I .,iiaip- We can give the skills and you When they see kids chuck- we're charging $3 for drinks when other W; HKP '1 II- ."•• fk "K .1 *53 s --11! ing eggs and macaroni it places are going for $1.44. Students | ' financial knowledge to become ] looks like we don't have should know that we're making a lot of 5 valid concerns. You gotta sit money on this. jrffjr an accounting professional: a down and come up with Q #6: Given the incidences of unprofes- 1 ideas in of stu- year, do see a need A f «! flS| (Certified General Accountant. the favour sionalism this you for dents. The president has to a Code of Conduct for Directors on the act [| . mmCompleting our CGA program of professional, with alter- Students' Union? natives that just don't attack GRAY: Definitely. I believe in professional- * ■ A - professional studies can lead to the other side. ism 100%, and this Ls a multi-million dol- Q #4: What details of the lar coiporation. To stop some things, an v better opportunities in business, don't I I 4. Operating and Procedures unwritten one won't do. Those who Agreement do you favour; follow it should be dealt with appropriate- j government and public practice. also, are there any areas of ly- J0 mi concern? McCORMICK: I feel there is a code of con- 1 If ready to even more Ijig you're make GRAY: In all honesty, I'm not duct - the student discipline code, the fully aware of the agree- Criminal Code, and the Union's Mission of call (416) 322-6520, I yourself, ment. I would like to see Statement and by-laws. It is a lack of will 3 more safety Issues, it's come to enforce these things already in place IIII n extensions 385, 225 or 217, or toll- to my attention that Foot that weakens them. The mechanism of Patrol's unsatisfied with impeachment is already there. I ■■■■ free, 1-800-668-1454, or write to their funding. I also know McMAI ION: The new job descriptions will that the tell who specif- us at 240 Eglinton Avenue East, University can't just help a lot in this. They will increase ancillary fees. But ically answers to who. But if a Code of Toronto M4P 1K8. my knowledge of it is fairly Conduct is what would be necessary to limited. deal with personal agendas, then we McCORMICK: I like the food should have one.

agreement - it offers a com- WESTIAKE: No, it's something that I feel fjarjMKw Certified General Accountants petitive market where the that everyone is responsible for them- Association of Ontario food will have to be good. It selves. Telling people how to act won't do leaves Wilf s open for the it. A lot of problems from this year could We're accounting for the future in Ontario Meal Card. 1 like the have been avoided with a little common Ancillary Fees Agreement, if sense. protects students from the

4 March I, 1995 theCord -{News) WLUSU VP: CORD STAFF MEETING UniversityAffairs Friday 2:3opm in the Turret Selection ofthe Editor-in-Chiefhiring committee will take place at interviews this meeting. candidate means That it's VERYIMPORTANT. PAGE 112 (rRAPUATION PHOTOS" SHELDON ■LOOK WHAT YOI) CET FOR PICTURE: $*9.9 9 Candidates for Vice-President University Affairs, from left. Brad Ross, Anish Makim, and Pat McMurrich. |P • Individual portrait MARK HEASLEY ofcourse the students aren't going to like the course if it's session in a professional CORD NEWS hard. I,; k t studio #/: What qualities do think possess thai set ROSS: I'd like to sec it run. I'd use the analogy of the Q you you 1 *1 -8"x 10", 2-5" x 7", you above the other candidates? kitchen table: we'd invite WLU to sit down and help, if W T ® wallets ANISII MAKIM: 1 have excellent leadership qualities, and they don't then fine - we know how to cook on our own. & • Your choice pose attention to detail. [WFU President! Forna Marsden I'd like to expand it to some electives next year too. jjlpi of * <> 8 asked me to sit on the Ix>ng Term Planning Committee. 1 #4: What concrete benefits do you think Will students to 12 proofs to choose made sure that, one: students were not ignored, and two: have gotten for their membership with the Ontario that they had a very strong voire when surrounded by IJndergraduate Student Alliance lobby group? • NO sitting fee with ad Deans and VP's. Some people can become flustered. MAKIM: They helped put [Federal Human Resources Hjglll] (Reg. $1 5.00) PAT McMURRICI I: I have; a good grasp of the issues, but Minister IJoyd] Axworthy's proposals on the back burner; ■ PROOFS READY IN 24 HRS. |-_ - - --- I I'm not going to suggest that I know everything. I'm OUSA was one of the few groups to sit down with We carry all faculties and 112 44 - OODO approachable, and want to encourage communication. I Axworthy. The [Canadian Federation of Students] was a colours for UW & WLU think there's a lot not being done, yet there's a lot of peo- non-entity. OUSA helped us with the ancillary services I Call today and book your appointment with us! ple who want to get involved. We should be able to find a protocol. They also pushed for income contingent loan spot for everybody that wants to help. I'm willing to put in repayment plans - a plan adopted by the Axworthy pro- I HIGHLAND a lot time for the job. posals. of • BRAD ROSS: 1 have a great deal of experience, and I'm a McMURRICI I: This was one of my questions in the Open Portrait Studio professionally trained dispute mediator. I will know Forum. IMike] Burns [OUSA Fxecutive Directorl is a nice BEVERGREEN PLAZA (Westmount & Highland) everything this sub-department will have to do since I'm guy and everybody's in favour of him and OUSA. But I've 370 Highland Rd., KITCHENER M currently writing the job description. I'm straightforward been researching them, and I can't see what they've been and to the point. doing. They don't get the media like the CFS does, maybe Q #2: Do you have any campus safety concerns or initia- they're not pulling their weight. tives? ROSS: One thing I think is that OUSA is the basis of the MAKIM: I think we should conduct a safety audit both on Canadian Alliance of Student Associations. I've talked to campus and in the nearby neighborhoods. Unitel gave Bums; he is highly respected by the government, in com- UW a van, and it would be good if we could get a drive- parison with the CFS, who doesn't see anyone in Ottawa. Humber College introduces the home program like that going. Also, it takes days for the But I'm concerned with their management of funds; I snow to get cleared off on campus. want to make sure that they don't fall into debt. Professional Golf Management ; i McMURRICI I: I stilted twice at the Open I orum that safe- Q #5: Do you think that joining the new federal lobby program ty was an important issue, but everybody is going to group, the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations, argue that you need more. I asked twenty female friends next year would be a good spend ofstudent dollars? if they felt safe on campus, they said yes. I don't want to MAKIM: I'd like to see how much it will cost. OUSA I Begin a new career fast, with this 1 year, post graduate certificate sec Laurier lit up like Vegas. A van might be a good idea wants to double their fees. Original CASA fees were % program, starting September 1995. for foot Patrol. around $10,000. 1 was behind it in principal. With the w Endorsed by the Canadian Professional Golfers Association ROSS: I've got an ironic story. I was walking home, think- CFS as a non-entily, we need a federal voice. $10,000 jp (CPGA), the program will offer courses in business administration ing you were going to ask me about safety when I slipped seems a reasonable price to pay. J and golf operations. We don't HUHlber and fell on the wooden stairs off the Building. Girls McMURRICI I: For next year's Board? Yes. want || For more information contact: laughed me. With the new expansion 1 will push to to with the CFS, we want one that will only fight for ifX (S®oD©^]@ at go Grant Fraser, Program Coordinator ensure lighting is very good. There are light switches in student issues. I abstained from voting for them since the p fry || Toronto, the tunnels that can be switched off at either end; they Finance and Building Chair was flying out of the door at (416) 675-6622 ex 14346or 4705 Ontario should be on all the time. the time. Q What plans would you have for the student-run ROSS: I believe so. My roommate was sent to the course evaluations in the coming year? Fdmonton conference on it. Unfortunately it got turned MAKIM: I'd like to run them again. But this time 1 would down. With CASA not knocking on Parliament, we have a have an external firm doing it. Those on campus this gap since we're not part of a group. The individual is not year were not as competent. as strong as the team. with Humber's McMURRICH: I would have it cover more 0 courses. We should hold one every year unless the school docs a more serious one. We have to p Human Resource look at the profs Onkar Travels incO~ who teach mandatory courses; | Management program Terms You Should Know ￿COMPLETE WORLDWIDE TRAVEL SERVICES^ OUSA: The Ontario Undergraduate Student Great Prices for Overseas Travel, Alliance is a provincial student lobby group Improve your opportunities for interesting and which WLUSU is a member of. They advocate a and Offer Last-Minute Deals rewarding employment by joining Humber's "Talk, Not Walk" approach of diplomacy. to Sun Destinations Human Resource Management program. Waterloo Town Sq., 75 King St. S, Unit LSA 0 CFS: The Canadian Federation of Students is a (519) 747-9000 • Program is only one year in length. national lobby group of a confrontational (starting September) nature. Pushing for the eventual elimination of • You will receive practical experience in a tuition and a multitude of other pro-student %% workplace field practice. ideal of a leftist bent. They represent 440,000 • will desig- students. Successful completion lead to professional nation (CHRP) from the Human Resources Professionals -0 Association Ontario (HRPAO). CASA: The Canadian Alliance of Student of H|ji|kbCf Associations is a newly forming national stu- You must have a University dent lobby group that arose largely out ofsome C®DD(M]@ or a 3 fill school's dissatisfaction with the CFS. Think of 886-1200 Degree year College CASA as OUSA, only bigger. Diploma to qualify. ANYWHERE, ANYTIM E•FO R PEOPLE OR PARCELS Code of Conduct: a formalised, written defini- AIRPORT SERVICE-FAST, COURTEOUS SERVICE tion f>fwhat is and is not acceptable behaviour

theCord March h 1995 5 (News>

fr Up , Around Campus TrippinBag

A Calendar O'Crime were unable to locate the Suspicious Person tion was deliberately activated. A is presently under investigation. individ- Events 0135 Hrs Mon 13 Feb 95 description of a suspect was ual. of Officers came upon a male individ- obtained as well as a first name. Suspicious Person Wednesday, March I ual who was acting in an erratic The matter Ls under investigation. 2010 Hrs Sun 19 Feb 95 Theft Under $1000.00 an 1615 Hrs Sat 25 Feb 95 • Concert: W1 AJ student composers. 8 manner. It was learned that he was Areport was received regarding p.m. Recital Hail. Free Admission. under the influence of 15D but he Intoxicated in a Public Place individual who was acting in a sus- A YVLU student had her wallet from her • knapsack John McCreery's paintings on exhib- was not capable of providing any 2340 Hrs Thu 16 Feb 95 picious manner on the sth floor of taken after in it to March 18. Robert Langen further information. Due to the A male individual was arrested and the library. When the officers leaving it an unlocked locker in change at Gallery. extreme cold weather and that fact charged after being evicted from checked, no one fitting the descrip- the women's room the Thursday, March 2 that the individual was not dressed the Turret and insisting he be tion could be found. Athletic Complex. • Miguel Figueroa, Loader of the for it he was subsequently trans- allowed to re-enter. Communist Party of Canada speaks. ported to the K-YV Crisis Centre. Suspicious Person Mischief Hrs Sun 26 Feb 95 7 to 10 p.m. Room N1002. Common Assault 2350 Hrs Thu 23 Feb 95 0920 • David Chilton author of The Wealthy Cause False Fire Alarm 1230 Hrs Fri 17 Feb 95 A Don in Conrad Hall reported see- A report was received that person(s) unknown had Barber speaks on financial plan- 0225 Hrs Thu 16 Feb 95 A male WLU student reported that ing an unidentified male in the broken a window ning strategies. 7:30 p.m. Recital The Head Resident of Conrad 1 lall an individual approached him and hallway of the residence. Officers in one of the doors at the entrance to the Hall Admission $10. For more info, reported a fire alarm at the resi- for no apparent reason threw a attended and conducted a thor- King St. Athletic call 884-0710 ext. 3401. dence. It is believed that a pull sta- cup of water in his face. The matter ough search of the building but Complex. Friday, March 3

• Cord Staff Meeting. Selecting those people who will hire next year's

- Editor-In-Chief. Join us at 2:30 in the llirret. Free hot dog buns. •Opera Production: Two one-act operas sung in English entitled Angelique, and A Dinner Engagement. 8 p.m. Recital Hall.

Free admission for Laurier "" hum. MMB " ' / Students. • "Multiculturalism and Pluralism in

' Society" 3:30 to 6:00 p.m. PMC For % ' ' y '' I :: more info call 884-0710 ext. 3800. xsMw''M< '''' ' • i^^^^^^^^^^^^^™H^m||wB|a[[B|[BB|MBgEig^^^fH Ir: H /' ■/;, • Weiqiu Yu speaks on "Preference JFvWi P^ Recovery: A New Approach to Testing Theories of Choice Under >-'Mk J |||| Uncertainty." 3:30 p.m. Room :J

. P2G27. Vp| *J|

; < %$. Saturday, March 4 ,,-. 7 *>/*.(p% - S % jfl • Ma's Home Remedy album release party with special guest Matt * mm JH| Osborne. Will's. I Sunday, March 5 J|| • Concert: Flute Ensemble. 3 p.m.

Recital I lall. Free admission . • Concert: Clarinet Fnsemble. 7 p.m. Recital Hall. Free admission. Monday, March 6 «JBfc «K • Drama Club presents Let Me Count

. ' ' The Ways 8 p.m. Room ILL MBBBBj -£. M J • Integrated Case Exercise begins for 3rd Year Business Students. Tuesday, March 7 • Open night atThe Writers Front 7 to 10 p.m. Waterloo City Hall. For more info call 886-7498.

• Music at Noon. Recital Hall. Free admission. Wednesday, March 8 •Listening and Note-Taking Workshop 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. Room P2027. • Lecture by Bruce Powe: "Outage: Information Overload in a Technological Society". 7 p.m. Room Some ofthis country's 3-201. most creative minds are in Canada's insurance industry. They're the kinds of minds that know creativity educated, experienced and ethical group of goes far beyond art, literature or making movies. professionals equipped to pursue successful If you're like that, why not consider a career with careers at the local, provincial, national or even Canada's property/casualty, or general insurance international level. industry? The industry offers a wide variety of Choice, challenge, satisfaction and security. career choices for creative minds. Accountants They are just some ofthe rewards you'll enjoy yes, but also systems analysts, lawyers, managers, through a creative career in the property/casualty loss prevention engineers, investment specialists, insurance industry. Document investigators, marine underwriters, aviation For more information, look for your local 3 adjusters and many more. The choice is yours. Insurance Institute in the white pages or, contact Com p/\Ny General insurance is also an industry that Les Dandridge, B.A., A.I.I.C., at The Insurance encourages you to acquire its own levels of Institute of Canada, 18 King Street East, • Photo Copying professionalism. As a Fellow or Associate of The 6th Floor, Toronto, Ontario, M5C 1C4 • Computers Self Serve Insurance Institute of Canada, you would join an (416) 362-8586 FAX (416) 362-1126. • Laser Output • Offset Printing • Fax Service Canada's Insurance Professionals • Typesetting The Graduates of The Insurance Institute of Canada. 220 King Sl N T<* 519-747-1 127 Wtl«rtOO. ON N2J 2Y7 Fa* 519-747 5660

6 March 1, 1995 theCord INTERNATIONAL America the beautiful? Why travel tofar offplaces when you graduate, just slip across the border

ANDREW READING you'll find all the excitement in the world. The America. Go see where years and years of Yes, it can be dangerous, but since you Cord International best part is that it's real close to home! That's governmental neglect have produced an won't sec it on American TV, you have to go With summer approaching, I'm sure many of right, I'm talking about the USA. urban decay that is unparalleled in world his- there to believe it! Also, you can purchase a the students here at Ixiurier will be consider- Now I know a lot of you arc saying "That's tory. gun really easily and that means you can pro- ing travel at some time during the four-month pretty boring", or "The US is not cheap", or Why go visit Asia or Africa when you can tect yourself, right? AK-47's, Ml6's, Uzis, your break. choice! Most people go to Hurope, only to find that if the US government allows hundreds of there are more North American tourists there Go see where years of thousands of people to sleep in alleys and than natives during that time. It really is hard parks every night, without attempting to do nowadays to find a place to travel to that can governmental neglect have anything about it, it must be something which be light on the wallet, provide tremendous is safe and comfortable. excitement and still be unaffected by the produced an urban decay There is an inner city for every type of per- tourist trade, so that you can see what the son. Ids Angeles has South Central, an unusu- people really live like in their native environ- even "I've been to American cities before and go to America's inner cities. Think of the possi- ally roomy and quiet area for its type. You still ment. it won't be that exciting", but what I'm sug- bilities! 'Hie shopping is fantastic: liquor shop, have to roll up your windows and lock your Well, I know of a place where it is possible gesting is that you go right to where all the gun shop, burnt-out store, liquor shop, gun doors, but there really isn't that much danger to do all that, where it's very cheap, where excitement happens; the great inner cities of shop. as long as the police there haven't beaten the crap out of anyone in the last couple of days (50-50 chance). I was enchanted with Chicago's I x)wer West Side when recently there. It going has the most exquisite infrastructure decay. But I have my own particular favourite: Hast Detroit. Where else could you bo driving along a major road and have to detour around a completely stripped and burnt-out car in one of the driving lanes? Of course, the biggest and baddest apple of them all is New York. looking for some auto parts? There must be hundreds of chop shops in the Bronx where you can practicc your haggling skills with these crafly natives. The exoti- cally named Hell's Kitchen is a must-see for aficionados. Muggings? Ah, hell, in by Only valid with your passporj Iff I New York you won't feel at home until March 31st y :V\Xt TRAVEL INSURANCE 30jl--' IjiSfr V&w / you've been mugged. BON 12VOYAGE So this year, don't follow the pack. The best deals to Europe this summer are J|| r^J Don't go to Europe to sec all that tire- available exclusively from TYavel CUTS/ vaud I some cultural stuff. Go see the incredible sights of our dearly beloved neighbour. Voyages Campus. | But do it soon to beat the crowd; Newt j Gingrich (America's new congressional on expanding and Student Class™ air fares are your ticket to maximum « / leader) is planning upgrading urban decay- and then every- savings and flexibility. Bon Voyage™ travel insurance - one will want to go.

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* in East Timor by raising consciousness by March 31, 1995* and we'll throw in a free about the terrible atrocities there. Berkeley Guide to Europe, the budget traveller's On Monday, March 6 at 8:00pm there % value ■ is going to be a "coffee house" at handbook, PLUS one free night (including free! Weaver's Arms in Waterloo, complete breakfast and dinner) at The Pink Palace - the with live music and beer, with all pro- ceeds going to help the East Timor Alert resort in Corfu, world's largest youth located Greece. Network. The event is being organized * by WPIRG (Waterloo Public Interest 4 TRAVEL CUTS Research Group). Come out on March 6 for a night to if a VOYAGES relax, shoot the breeze with friends, or CAMPUS SSW"""" JST just learn about how you can get Ont. Reg. # 2592241 a $2.00 cover * involved. There will be Certain restrictions may apply. Not valid in conjunction with offer. discontinued Insurance Columbia. any other Offer available while suppllies last and may be at any time. purchase not necessary in British charge.

theCord March 1, 1995 7 OPINION

Election Editorial Letters Editor theto See front cover Clarifies forced down their throats as a result of the this point, I find this particular argument must be fought, but putting yourself in clanger libera] social movement. Forced, you ask? ridiculous. of becoming another victim docs not help the Sure. A prime example are the attacks on my Mr. Kirk may be right in his belief that the fight at all. problem with letter for expressing a different point of view. anti-homophobia campaign will not realize its Jenna Scott In a country where you are supposed to be intended affects. I would like to think that stu- campaign able to think for yourself, I find it offensive dents gave the issue some consideration in Dear Editor, that movements exist whose sole purpose; Ls to their discussions, which evidently occurred, Call offthe In regards to the letter that I wrote that indoctrinate one with their beliefs. In addition according to Mr. Kirk's letter. Perhaps merely dismissed the anti-homophobia campaign as to that, if you don't believe, people attack you having the issue discussed made the cam- hounds a waste: 1 feel the need to clarify a few points, for being narrow minded, or 'a person like paign successful. I would also like to caution Dear Editor, especially in light of the backlash against it G.K.'. Mr. Kirk that silence does not always mean 1 am writing in response to Leslie O'Dell's from certain members of the WLU communi- My problem with the anti-homophobia consensus. Homophobia can be intimidating, comments regarding the Cord's review of the ty campaign is not about the fact it deals with and some people may not feel comfortable Regeneration of George McGraiT.

Admittedly, I made statements within my homosexuals -- it's that it represents another challenging your argument in classroom dis- I do not wish to question her apology to letter that are generalizations and assump- manifestation of the few trying to control the cussions. As I was not there I cannot say, but I Ted Follows, nor her opinion that the review tions. The basis for my assumptions are what thoughts of the many. Just because society is suspect that some individuals present may not was unfair. I've seen and what I know. I know that I moving towards legitimization of

Editorial Board Cord StaJJ Public Relations Manager Harjil Slioan The Cord will not print anything that is racist, sexist. or homophobic in nature, as the stall The Cord not in violation ot \'ielsen Production Assistants Jeremy Ken- Silk deemed by as a voting Body. will print anything Editor-in-Chief Ingrid Advertising Manager Tim its Code of Klhics. outlincid The Cord Constitution. Cord rates arc Andrew While in subscription the Cord News liditor Mark lleasley Ad Sales Representatives Bill Creasor $15.00 per term for addresses within Canada,and $18.0() for outside Inn country. Iho Associate News Editor Amanda Doubling Classified Coordinator Tracey Bowers Pali Tarr Cord is printed by CanVVeb Printing. The Cord is a member of Canadian University Press. All commentary is strictly the opinion of the writer and does not necessarily A Laurier University Entertainment Editor CharlesFairley Circulation and Filing Adam Dallaway Ad Production Manager Mara Raldassarre © Wilfrid reflect those of the Cord staff, the

8 March 7, 1995 theCord -(Opinion)

Next, Ms. Seal finds it necessary to com- Finally, 1 wanted to comment on the final thy." Their 'policy of "Talk Don't Walk" is a ment on the prices of the tickets, claiming that Appreciation for quote of the article, which mentions "...with valid one if indeed they had done any talking. one could watch a professional production for to the guarantee that the administration won't 1 lowever, they did absolutely nothing until the the same price, if not less. You can't even attention reduce funding because of the Fund." This day of the strike, and then sent an infuriating- watch a movie for that price anymore. If she science issues statement was intended to mean that the ly simple-minded and immature letter to the can find tickets to a professional show for less administration will agree not to change *the YVLU faculty asking that they remind us all of than eight dollars, I'll pay for the silly things Dear Editor, standards used to assess funding* because of how fortunate we are to be here at Laurier. In and take her myself. She doesn't seem to On behalf of the students organizing the the Fund. It is this statement, included as a other words, they were saying stop whining recall that Theatre liiurier, which she states science student referendum being held on condition to the creation of the fund, that was about the cost. We all realize, thank-you, herself Ls suffering from budget cuts, has to Thursday February 16, I wanted to express agreed to by the administration. exactly how lucky we are to be attending a pay for printing costs, light rentals, set rental my appreciation to Mr. Hob Glover, and The Once again, thanks to the Cord for allow- university here in Canada. All we have to do and a variety of other costs, most of which is Cord, for taking the time to allow the students ing tills medium to exchange information. is watch the evening news, and witness the being payed for by the patron in order to to state their case, and make their ideas Mark J. Rittinger horrors of life outside our home and native watch. known. Development Officer land to realize that. 1 realize that Melanie Seal does not have Further to this, 1 wanted to make several Office of Development Our Students' Union should have, howev- to be an expert in Theatre to tell as what she small clarifications in order to keep consistent er, organized some sort of "Talk" action. For enjoys and does not enjoy, however, had she the information available on this subject. example, they could have left a petition in the attended an actual performance instead of a First, it is important to note that, similar to Well, then start Concourse that concerned students could technical rehearsal that was not even sup- other gilts made by students since last May, have signed. Or, they could have collected let- posed to be open to the public, I'm quite sure this project will fall under auspices of talking... ter of concern from students and forwarded that she would have enjoyed herself much Campaign Laurier, and will be treated as a Dear Editor, them to Ottawa or Toronto. However, what more. What she saw was for our benefit, not leadership gift towards the Science Division of 1 am writing concerning the way our was our brilliant administration's solution? hers. Tech runs have a tendency to be dull the campaign. Students' Union handled the recent Student "Talk, Don't Walk." and drawn out for obvious reasons: they're Second, I wanted to clarify the "opt-out' Strike across Ontario to protest proposed Regardless of our privileged status, the rehearsals to establish light and sound cues, feature of the program. The article states tuition hikes. In short, I am disgusted. proposed tuition hikes threaten the academic not for people to come and write reviews. "...unless they specifically request that they WLUSU is a student-elected body desig- future of many Canadians. If the government Andrew B. Mckelvey don't want to pay." This specific request (in nated with deciding the best policies to main- increases tuition fees without a concurrent the format of an Opt-out Form) will be tain student security and welfare on campus. increase in available OSAP funds, many stu- required each term by students that decide However, Mr. Spoltore and Mr. McCormick dents (even with summer jobs) will find the not to participate in the program. gave us a new definition for the word "apa- economic pinch too much to absorb. I person- ally am barely able to make it on the OSAP funding I am receiving now. When I think of the possible future costs for myself, I worry about whether or not I will still be able to call Wilfrid laurier home in the near future. ++TRAVEL CUTS § Perhaps, in order to compensate for the increased tuition, we should all just stop paying our Students' Union dues. I VOVAGES doubt that any of us would really notice if you weren't around to enact these wonderful policies ofyours anyway. Trevor J. Elmslie McMurrich states concern for safety Dear Editor, In response to Ms. Seal's comments in the last Cord issue, I feel it necessary to clear up the misunderstanding. My opening line on the issue of safety at the Open Forum was "Safety is of utmost importance." 1 made numerous state- ments reinforcing the importance of safety that Ms. Seal neglected to men- tion in her letter. In my statements I suggested that I highly supported the Foot Patrol Program, that I was in support of a van, and that the annual safety audits by the WLUSU are much needed and should continue and be improved upon. I also stated that Uiurier did not need to be lit up like Iits Vegas. From this Ms. THEUmMATE E "R °PEAN Seal deduced that 1 was not compas- sionate find that perhaps had a pas- When You Book One Visit/ 17 Countries in 50 days! I sion for the darkness! framS,,o/da y Of These Contiki Holidays At Here is the reasoning behind this particular statement: as a student rep- resentative, it is my job to ask students Travel CUTS/Voyages Campus! how they feel about certain issues. I conducted admittedly f'om .83,day. including flight and most meals. my own survey, On a Contiki Tour you spend And now when you book unscientific, and asked twenty people if ne they felt safe on campus. 10()% of them more time having fun, because o of the following Contiki n ißAßr*w /-amtdactc ™E ™0PEAN C°N™STS responded that they did and all were we take care of all the details tours -The Ultimate European, f Furthermore, it is important to The European 1 Countries in 29 days. female. that can make travelling a chore Adventurer' r From $97/day. Including flight and most meals. remember that lighting is incredibly 1 he turopean Lontrastsr or expensive and unless you want to raise The European Escapade* -at your ancillary fees, I would suggest that . THE EUROPEAN ESCAPADE we use Foot Patrol. Ms. Seal suggests Travd CUTS/ Voyages < am ? F>us Harlem and ( , Visit 10 Countries in 25 days! that Laurier resembles °" 8et Um a ' rfar t0 L °ndon - Y From $99/day. Including flight and most meals. that "a campus can never be safe , I" f t included absolutely free!* Don't enough." 1 do not believe that laurier miss fabulous value! Drop resembles Harlem and does this mean this ,M CUTS we should spend all our money on safe- by Travel <-11 1 S/Voyages nearest for 18-35's cAMpus ty? If everyone had armed guards that Campus today! the campus would not be safe enough? Laurier University Obviously safety is of utmost impor- CUTS Tt » Trave ,come,ny TRAVEL " University Shops Plaza tance but I believe we must find a rea- HWMBES CAMPUS sonable way to attain it. To reiterate t Participant must be a full-time student with an International Student Identity Card (ISIC). Ms. Seal's opening comment, I too, * 886-0400 Certain restrictions apply. Flight must be booked in conjunction with selected Contiki tours. Free flight for hope that the students of VVLU will Toronto, Montreal, Halifax departures only. For departures from: Winnipeg - $150; Saskatoon, Regina, Calgary, come out to voice their opinions in this Edmonton, - $200; Victoria - $250. Full details available from Vancouver Travel CUTS/Voyages Campus. ( p # Q n eg 2592241 Continued on page 10

theCord March 7, 1995 9 (Opinion)

year's student election. pel's make at covering serious news. It was so I.R.A. ? Neil Freeman. McQuinn refers to the high Patrick McMurrich well crafted that I am sure many of the Cord The article ended biilliantly, with a quote degree of editing that Mr. Freeman's letter readers who arc unfamiliar with the conflict from lan Paisley, the leader of the Democratic underwent. The letter submitted for publica- in Northern Ireland might have taken it to be Union Party and 'his opinion shared by many'. tion by Mr. Freeman was only slightly edited, Don't judge a serious. This is the disparaging situation To condemn Gerry Adams as a terrorist, and and was not changed for fear of a libel suit. which has caused this letter. A piece of satire then praise lan Paisley, who repeatedly refers A further apology is extended to Ryan person by their so witty and insightful cannot go to waste, so I to the Pope of the Roman Catholic church as Smyth. In a letter by Shawn Callan, will try to let my fellow Cord Readers in on the 'the whore of Rome' and is the political leader "Ignorance causes hatred" February 15, name joke. of the Unionist paramilitary groups, again sat- 1995, the author makes comments that can Dear Editor, First, let's examine the topic: The conflict irizes that deadly editorial slant so many ama- be construed as negative towards Mr. Smyth's A wise person once said "don't judge a in Northern Ireland. To assume that your teur reporters try to hide. character. The Cord apologizes to Mr. Smyth book by its cover". readers wish to have two thirds of a page I'm so glad satire is alive and well in The for printing these comments, and any misun- I feel you shouldn't judge a person by their devoted to a conflict far removed and unrelat- Cord. An article on the Irish conflict that pre- derstandings which followed. name. I am writing in response to Bikash ed to them Ls ludicrous, and must surely have sents half the story, none of its history, and Dutta's letter to the editor. I agree with you been done in jest. docs not even attempt to address its complexi- that how you spell a person's name is not Secondly, the blatant misinformation and ty in order to preserve editorial slant must be How to send important. This point was intended to add a editorial slant, and lack of proper background in jest. An article that paints one side as the touch of humour and personality to otherwise is also a trait of many student newspapers' villain and the other the hero, and disguises it a letter to the serious yet extremely people related job. attempts to cover a 'serious' story. The omis- with a thin veil of bipartisanship by ignoring This year I brought to the board a policy sion of 500 years of conflict that have led to key details and important events in the con- editor that ensures that campus clubs do not dis- the current war in Northern Ireland, and the flict (like the entire Unionist Paramilitary criminate based on sexual preference, and assertion that this conflict has been ongoing movement) must be in satire. The Editorial 1. Letters must be received by Monday at along with the COD committee and Dan 'Since 1969' spools the average student jour- staff of The Cord would never let such a one- noon for publication in the upcoming issue Dawson developed a hiring procedure that is nalist's short memory, and shorter attention sided, ill-researched and partisan opinion ofThe Cord. fair and objective. span for proper research. It was brilliantly piece be disguised as an analysis of a civil war Next year I intend to have an open door sarcastic. unless they were being facetious. 2. The letter must be on computer disk, or via policy to assist students when dealing with Ignoring the plight of many Irish Catholics Anyone can plainly see that the article in e-mail ([email protected]). If comput- administration including any concerns related (Republican and otherwise) who have suf- question was a spoof. The War in Ireland is er accass is a problem, please speak to the to discrimination. fered discrimination, racism, murder and ter- more than a half century old, and many peo- editor-in-chief. Computer disks can be I thought the Cord was to ensure, accuracy rorism at the hands of the Royal Ulster ple have suffered and died. The editors of the picked up in The Cord offices on in all published letters. This was overlooked in Constabulary and Unionist organizations like Cord would never belittle their memories, ide- Wednesday afternoon. the Cord February 15 in Jason Stainton's let- Ulster Freedom Fighters and the Ulster ologies and beliefs by grossly misinforming ter to the editor as it was stated that. I was the Defease Force, as well as omitting these para- the Laurier Community. I hope my fellow 3. All letters must be accompanied by a reason science students could not vote in the military organizations and their collusion with readers recognize the article, for the joke that signed hard copy, with the author's name, new science building. This is completely false. the R.U.C/British Military completely from the it was, and not as a serious article. I mean you student I.D. number, and telephone num- The election council is solely responsible for discourse is another scathing and sarcastic guys would never print an article like that ber. elections not the COD committee or Brad indictment of how a university journalist can unless you were joking,right ? Ross. It would be a conflict of interest Lf I par- ignore important facts in order to maintain an Colin Toal 4. All letters will be printed with the author's ticipated in policy changes during an election. editorial slant. name attached, letters arc printed without The election council informed me that One paragraph was particularly liilarious, the author's name only with the permis- there was a problem receiving a segregated describing the present civil war situation as Editor's sion of the E.I.C. list of people with a science major in sufficient causing 'small inconveniences'. It brought to time for the election. Science students should mind a few personal friends of mine who clarifications 5. The F.I.C. may edit the letters for length vote in the concourse. After the election is were bombed out of the home they owned (by The editor-in-chief of The Cord would like to and clarity. over 1 will inform the election council to have die U.D.I7.) in a predominantly Protestant area clarify a letter written by Brian McQuinn, a polling booth in the new science building. because they were Catholic. They later had Feb.ls, "Where's the Prof-essionalism?". The 6. No racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise Brad Ross that same home commandeered by the letter refers to the editing process of a previ- libelous submissions will be printed. unionist paramilitaries under the supervision ous letter, "Student-run survey badly run" by of the R.U.C. 'whose job it is to protect the citi- You must zens of Northern Ireland'. Finally, and perhaps the biggest joke of all, be joking was the suggestion that the provisional I.RA. should turn over its 'arsenal' to the British Dear Editor, government while the peace process is just I would like to take this opportunity to beginning. Such a simplistic and naive exam- |Reacher Training in... thank you for- the wonderful article 'Are the ple of an incredibly complex and intricate "Troubles" really over ?' that was a part of dynamic was a beautiful piece of satire. I'm your paper on February 1, 1995. Since the sure Gerry Adams would go right up to the departure of the real Dynamic Duo and the Provisional I.R.A. and be able to convincc endless articles on Homophobia, I had feared them quite easily that they should give up that the Art of Satire had departed from your their weapons on the very slim chance that, paper once and for all. I was happy to see it afterwards, they would be treated fairly by make its triumphant return in the form of that the British Government. Every good negotia- article. It was a brilliant caricature of the tor always likes coming to the tabic as prey arrogant attempts many university newspa- for their opponents, so why shouldn't the

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10 March 1, 1995 theCord —(Opinion) Joys of public transportation Childhood memories oftravelling with thefamilyfrom Deliverance

GREG SLOAN "Bradyphile" who couldn't, dream of As 1 mentioned, the sole daugh- to avoid a collision. The driver, hear- ricnces with public transportation. Cord Opinion a bolter role to play, except maybe ter in the family had a permanent ing a high pitched whine, thought One day soon I hope to have my Public Transportation. What a con- that of Marcia, the "cool" older sis- spot in the front seat because, well, the engine was about to explode. own vehicle so I don't have to rely cept. Instead of enjoying your jour- ter. Putting the paper down, I fell being the youngest, she was from Fortunately it was just our young on someone else to get me around. ney in the comfort of your own vehi- back on the oldest trick in the book: the shallow end of a Mr. Turtle-sized friend, laying headfirst in the stair- Until then, I always remember the cle, you and a few dozen other pas- 1 pretended to be asleep. gene pool. One time she puked, and well, who was emitting the noise one lesson I gained from those sengers are jam-packed into a sar- On the whole, the train has been as the bus ran up hill, we had to lift that was making our hair stand on many painful years on the bus; if the dine can. good to me. The bus, on the other our feet to avoid the sliding mess. end. No one saw just how she ended driver starts asking you for direc- When looking for a ride home hand, well, there have been a few Another time, a different supply up down there, but she turned out tions, you're in trouble. And that's for reading week, I had a choice trying times. If you get really lucky bus driver (we seemed to have a lot to be okay. the view from the farm for this between a few public transportation there may be a T.V. on the bus. This of them) had to slam on the brakes These are just a few of my expe- week. alternatives. There was the bus, the is how I got to see the James Bond train, or the infamous car pool. 1 thriller The living Daylights. 1 admit look what was beliind door number it's not quite the same as seeing it two. on the big screen, but it's more Comfort is the I actually don't mind riding the entertaining than listening to people train. It's relatively quick and pain- (lushing the toilet in the facilities at number one priority less, especially if you manage to the back of the bus. score your own seal. If you have to The worst experiences I have share, then it can become a crap- ever had JOHN EASTLAND twenty minute sitting. Remember to record your expe- shoot. My recent ride home was with buses Cord Opinion rience. a perfect exam- date back "If'you are not comfortable - DON' T DO IT." Some benefits that come to the practicing meditator p 1 e . to my With this injunction we continue the previous arti- are a profound relaxation and an acceptance of self. F r o m days in cle on meditation in the last issue of the Cord. This rule This relaxation should not be confused with the "feel- K-W to p u b 1 i c is important to follow as it starts the meditator on the ing good" experienced by the novice. A good feeling Ls I/indon, I and high path of trusting one's own intuitions. simply a relaxed body being aware of itself and the was able school. We begin by assuming that you were comfortable natural release of "feeling good chemicals" by the to stretch Being a just sitting perfectly still for twenty minutes each day brain. Keep sitting every day and I promise this will go out by VIEWa FROM THE coun- during the past week. What did you discover? Did you away. w in d o w try kid 1 had write down your daily experiences after each sitting? You may have noticed your heart rate and your scat in pri- to ride that ever feared and Active meditation will be covered in a later article. rate of breathing noticeably slow down. This Ls quite vacy as IFARMlis- despised yellow chariot of boredom: It Is best to learn passive meditation first as it Ls much natural with passive meditation. Do not be concerned if tened to the soothing rhythms of the school bus. For most of those easier. you find yourself going for what appears to be long New Country coming from my years my bus driver was I/rch. If you have mastered your physical body for twenty periods of time without breathing. Your body has a headphones. His real name was Lesley, but minutes at a stretch without built-in mechanism that My little oasis was disturbed as 1 Lerch just seemed to fit him a lot being distracted, to the point knows when it needs more had to switch trains in Ixmdon. Hie better. But you didn't call him that to of scratching that annoying Do not be air. With the body sitting in a crowd was fairly large, and the his lace. Oh no. That meant sitting little itch, let us now focus relaxed yet alert position, the prospect of finding another seat to up in the front seat. If you were the sitting practice by concerned flow of blood to all parts of the myself seemed grim. I did manage really bad, you had to sit in the front becoming aware of each and body is unrestricted, allowing to find one in the back, but the seat with stunt double for the girl in every part of the physical Ifyou go for long the blood system to both feed masses kept streaming in. The I • xorcist. body. As you become aware without the cells with fresh oxygenat- 1 saw two jokers coming towards You see, what made our bus so of each area, let it relax. Let periods ed blood and clean the system the back. There were no seals left. unique is that we got to share it with all of the muscles go long breathing of toxins, thus alleviating bad Those were the same guys 1 thought a family that was Kent County's and limp, warm and heavy. bacteria and viruses. It is this I saw drinking a beer outside the equivalent of those friendly swamp Start 111is awareness and natural relaxed flow that station a few moments before. I people in Deliverance. Once in a relaxation process on the dominant side of the body, makes for a happier, healthier and fuller life. In this closed my eyes and prayed: don't sit while the oldest boy used to drive the. light side for the right-handed and the left side for way, meditation leads to a healthier life. here, don't sit here. No such luck. the family tractor to the school and the left-handed. Start at the place farthest from the Now a look at the history of meditation, in all cul- Things got oil' to a rousing start pick up his younger siblings. Then brain. The large toe on the right foot, for right domi- tures throughout history there have been groups of when my companion revealed that they would race the bus down the nant, then the toes and fool and so on, until you have people who practiced the art and science of meditation. he had spent the night in the luxuri- side streets trying to impress us. taken a moment to be aware of each group of muscles To know the origins of meditation is pure speculation ous Stratford jail. "What a dump," And let me tell you, we were all the way up the right, leg. Spend a few moments at on the pail of any science as it predates recorded histo- he exclaimed. What did he expect, a impressed. the buttocks and genitals. Repeat with the left leg, ry in any form. four star establishment? Tempted On one occasion, a supply bus starting at the large toe of the left foot. You will arrive Perhaps, and this is a big perhaps, we can specu- as 1 was to discover just how he driver clipped the rear end of a again at the buttocks. Continue all the way up the late that our far (lung ancestors were warm and dry in ended up in jail, I kept my questions parked car ;us she was rounding the torso, being aware of both the front and back muscle some cave with their bellies full and their immediate to myself. I didn't want to hear more corner. She started to panic since groups, until you have reached the shoulders. needs seen to, giving them time to reflect on their than I planned on, and suddenly this was only the fifth time she had As with the legs, repeat with the airns. Start with immediate situation. find myself a star witness in a 0.J.- ever driven a bus. One of the boys of your dominant arm and at the thumb of the dominant This would have been a pleasant experience, so type trial. 1 have no desire to the aforementioned family volun- hand. Take your time, but do not tarry at any one they continued its practice. And so today we again become the next Kato. teered to go call for help, so she place. Continue up the arm, arriving at the shoulders. have time to pause and be aware of the very primor- My day continued to go well as gave him a quarter. We were in Repeat for the other ann, arriving back at the shoul- dial essence ofjust being. the train sat in London for almost downtown Blenheim. There was a ders. Carry on up the neck and over the head, arriving Remember, everybody passes through the medita- an hour. To avoid conversation with pay phone down the street.. Yet it at the face. Do the same for the face, paying attention tion state at least twice a day. This secret, and adding Hannibal Lecter, 1 was forced to seemed to be taking him a long time to the jaw muscles and the lips. Finally, become aware onto the physical exercises, will continue in the next read the review of the new Brady to come back. Finally we had to of your tongue and the root ofthe tongue. Spend a little article. Bunch movie. It seems the girl play- send someone else. 1( seems he took extra time being aware and relaxing the tongue. Until next time "may you recognize the PEACE ing Jan is a self-professed the quarter and ran. For this second week, do this exercise during your within."

cord feedback Why is there no review ofon-campus concerts Bikash, my name is not easy to spoil cither example: Wed. Feb.B Laurier Live in the (especially in its original form). Brad Ross did Hick, if you pee in my gas tank, ill breach Need more cartoons. Turret? not offend me. He made me laugh. It was a "The Lung". Ryan Smyth Kevin Sanderson joke! Kevin Rogers Myka Reynolds I agree with Rahul, 1 like to sit with Ilarley. He Man, I can't believe 1 ate the whole tiling. Scott Stinson should write more articles, lie is is a good sitter. Wow! Wild musk odor too. Funny...l looked and looked at the women's great. Scott MacGregor Toby O'Hara centre bulletin board, but I could not for the Smoothy (Chris Smith) life of me find a copy of the Cord's "All charges

1 lick - Hditorial hit the nail light on the head. Where is the Cord article on the Drama Club? dropped" article with Ruddick and Pageau's Can I see your turtle, '17 Mike Comley Kate Amadio names highlighted. Big D (Darryl Pring) Tanya Qureshi Doesn't it cost a lot of $ to send letters re: the Oh, that's right, someone's character is not an I agree with Jason Paul 100%. I'd rather election? If the students don't know there is issue in an election. Who cares if a represen- I ley Scottcha, if you can't run through the watch an old flick any day. McQueen's the an election yet they're probably not going to tative of my university was thrown in jail for a streets of Grand Bend unaccosted, what can King. vote. night? You're a political genius, Scott. you do? James Kennedy Dawn Casby Jason Lemaich Robb Hadley

theCord March 1, 1995 11 FEATURE Apocalypse Inc. Pop Culture Cashes In As The Millennium Approaches A Feature by Anton Volcansek

The "apocalyptic" is commonly associated with the expec- You may have read or hear about the recent book "The Hot Nick Cave, Nirvana], see movies [Tarantino, Stone], and read tant millenarianism of some zealous groups. To them bible Zone" by Richard Preston. It's a heavily researched and well- books which attract us for their apocalyptic themes and refer- prophesy suggests the world will conclude at the end of this written account of the alarming increase in viral mega-killers, ences. millennium and the righteous will go to heaven, while the rest and the threat these viruses pose through mass outbreaks with Media critic Geoff Pevere, in the upcoming March issue of of as suffer for eternity. This is an over-generalization or mis- the potential to wipe us out...completely. With human help the Saturday Night Magazine explores youth culture's fascination interpretation, but that's nothing new to the apocalyptic tradi- environment is degrading enough to provide conditions for with the apocalyptic. We seem to be drawn, he said to me, to tion. these diseases and more like them to flourish. Scary, huh? the apocalyptic because we can't imagine the future as clearly Writers and preachers have interpreted themes and This isn't science fiction, it's scientific fact. as our parents could. images from the Book ofRevelation and other apocalyptic texts However, trust Hollywood to exploit a good genre. Mega- Generally speaking, we revel in the violence and dark for their own purposes for hundreds of years. Some arc gen- virus movies arc set to invade theatres near you. First out of humour of a Tarantino movie because we rejoice in the associ- uinely true to the word as they sen it and others are more lib- the blocks is Outbreak starring Dustin Hoffman. A virulent ation with what we see on the screen. We identify with the eral with the themes. and unknown virus emerges fringe because we feel we are tossed to the wayside like so Such apocalyptic themes include out of the African rainforest, many pop cans, disposable razors, and nuclear fuel rods. As the end of regular time, an endtime People travelling wiping out entire villages. A the media churns out more and more apocalyptic material to battle against evil (Armageddon), film titled The Hot Zone will take advantage of the millennium, we mature a bit and begin angels and demons, dreams and through follow shortly, as will the search for personal explanations for this phenomenon. visions, the dualism between good the inevitable copycats. "And every year," says Dr. Desjardins, "when 1 teach the and evil or light and dark, eternal More blatantly, the intro NT course, the lecture on the Book of Revelation is the punishment and reward, and the downfall ofcivilization advertisement for the film most eagerly awaited. This is the factor that has most uncovering lor revelation I of secrets Tank Girl proclaims the hero- intrigued me. This is why a course on Apocalypticism is impor- to a chosen elect. and culture, giving ine "Poster girl for the tant, it seems to me. Being an academic, 1 can't help thinking A partial list of apocalyptic films, Apocalypse". that the more information people have, the more ability they books and songs fails to scratch the birth to new songs This infatuation with the have to think through issues themselves, the more they will be surface. With respect to the "apoca- apocalyptic is not a new phe- able to anive at decisions on these matters that will be mean- lyptic" I use the term, as does mass media, loosely. More often nomenon, of course. But we can expect a renaissance with the ingful to them in the long run — and won't be short term infat- than not, also incorrectly. genre beginning this year and growing steadily into the next uations." In Writing the Apocalypse, Lois Parkinson Zamora notes millennium. For students unable to get formal instruction on the topic, that "as the year 2000 approaches...references to apocalypse 1 lere at Laurier, a course on Apocalypticism is being taught there's always mass media itself. Tarantino didn't learn to seem to be increasing steadily, both in frequency and volume. by Dr. Michel Desjardins for the first time. make films from film school, he learned it from watching films. Our modem sense of apocalypse is less religious than histori- "It is not common in universities," admits Dr. Desjardins, To get a basic grasp of the apocalyptic, look to what is readily cal: the word is used again and again to refer to the events of "In fact, in departments where faculty offer a lot of NT available in films, books, and music. There is plenty of it, and recent history, whether nuclear or ecological or demographic, [Religion] courses, its even rare to have a course taught on the more to come. which suggest all too clearly our ample capacities for self- Book of Revelation. Academics generally don't like this sort of Dr. Desjardins agrees. "Pop culture, I feel, is infatuated with destruction. The end of this millemiium has displaced 1984 as stulT. Partly it's because academics tend not to come from reli- apocalypticism." a focus of speculation, and apocalypse Is in vogue." gious traditions which place much importance on apocalypti- However, "As far as I can tell, it's often a trivial sort ofinfat- Even the popular television program Dr. Quinn Medicine cism — indeed, which tend to denigrate oilier Christians (it's uation. Stock images (e.g. Antichrist) and symbols (e.g. 666), Woman got in the act recently with an episode surrounding mainly a Christian phenomenon in the "West"). where, if they knew the literature and the traditions over the the imminent destruction of the earth by a meteor collision. "As you can guess, these sorts of courses will likely become centuries, they could come up with far more powerful images. Ominous signs of apocalyptic significance reinforced the more common as the year 2000 approaches, but I still don't But people know little about this history, or these texts, and threat, such as freak lightning, rain, and earthquakes. see them becoming widespread," says Desjardins. black dogs, 666 and priests are enough to send shivers down Unfortunately, the meteor failed to hit and the show continues It's students here and at other institutions who create the the spines of most folk. If only they knew that evil has been to run. demand for such a course. We listen to music [Nine Inch Nails, conceived and represented in far more powerful ways, hun- dreds and sometimes thousands of years ago." Misunderstood or not, the apocalyptic tradition has inspired many great works ofart. This genre, rich in imagery from the original texts themselves, is responsible for much creative out- put in the face of an uncertain future. In "Images: my life in 'ITic graphic on the right graced the January film", Ingmar Bergman's biography of his career, he wrote of 1995 cover of Z Magazine, an American liber- 'The Seventh Seal", the classic film in which Antonius Block tarian-socialist-type periodical. This cartoon plays chess with Death: "What attracted me was the whole depiction of US Republican senators parallels idea of people travelling through the downfall of civilization a similar politically motivated cartoon from and culture, giving birth to new songs." 1936. Ilitler, Goebbels, and Goering are por- Like the band on the Titanic who continued to play trayed in the same role as the horsemen of the "Autumn", we may be going down, but we're going down apocalypse [Rev. 6:1-181. The convention isn't singing. new. it takes on a new relevance in light of This feature is a reminder to keep an eye out for the the end of this millennium. impending flood of millcnarian-relatcd mass media products, because this period will be noted for it in the centuries to come. Notes Dr. Desjardins, "With our mass media, the year 2000 will likely begin this year (just as we get the Santa Claus parade in October)." Ollie's Obsession

American film director Oliver Stone's body of work has their own right, the Doors spoke of environmental destruction, Apocalypse written all over it. Take a few examples: disorder, and societal decay. Spirituality and art was the refuge they sought and provided for the faithful. Throw in sex and Talk Radio: nric Bogosian presides over a radio call-in-show drugs and you can see why Stone was attracted to this story. audience made up of the wretched bits of a fragmented and imploding society. (A Wasteland of humanity. The remnants of JFK: The killing of a king. In Shakespeare's time the head of the American dream.) states death triggered uncertainty and imbalance throughout the whole realm. Universal order is disrupted, and the end of Platoon: The climax finds Charlie Sheen surviving the apoca- the world as everybody knows it is close at hand. American lyptic attack of his unit's hill. Ironically, it's the Americans popular culture treats Kennedy's death as the end of their themselves who blow up the hill, wiping out their own in the innocence. process of killing their overrunning enemies. In essence, Sheen's character is among the chosen ones who survive Natural Born Killers: "Thuh whole world's comin' to an end, Armageddon. Mai." No comment needed here except that this film (and The Doors: "This is the end, beautiful friend...Of everything Cohen's The Future) might be the answer to your mother's that stands, the end..." James Douglas Morrison. Prophets in question "What's the world coming to?"

12 March 1, 1995 theCord (Feature) Propheteering

If you're looking for the religious perspective on Jack Van Impe, who hosts his own bible prophesy the approaching millennium the nearest Christian show (with special emphasis on the Rapture, the You deserve it. bookstore is a good place to start.. Chances are there belief that a period of seven years Tribulation will fol- is a section devoted to prophesy belief and commen- low after the chosen ones arc taken up to heaven), tary on the Apocalypse. provides a testimonial on the jacket of one of the The early seventies was a rich period for such lit- books. You worked hard erature. With Charleton Heston making a string of Thumbing through these paperbacks, 1 couldn't apocalyptic movies like Planet of the Apes, Soylent help notice the cautious tone. Very few of the writers You persevered Green, and Omega Man, a market for such material arc willing to commit themselves to a concrete state- was out there. Also the environmental movement ment that the world will most definitely, without a was getting into gear, spreading awareness of pollu- doubt, end. You succeeded tion and environmental degradation, while politicians There is talk of the Rapture (there's even a video perpetuated the Cold War. to guide people who find themselves left behind after Writers who made a name during this period are the Rapture, as if there's a second chance, and it's all now either reissuing their old works with updated yours for only $19.99), Armageddon, the Einal Reward Yourself references and prophesies, or they arc also publish- Judgement, the Eour Horsemen, etc. However, it ing new works to cash in on the resurgence of the seems the theme this time around is how to live a with a genre. productive life in the face of inevitable (predetermined Twenty five yeai~s after his highly successful and or not) heavenly intervention. bestselling The Late Great Planet Earth, I lal l.indsey '['he preachers, prophets and writers maintain the 2000 AD, (or not) Professional has published Planet Earth asking the end is coming soon, but they cannot will pin- question "Will mankind survive?" It seeks to put into point Jin exact date. It could happen tomorrow, New perspective recent unusual weather patterns, a per- Year's day 2001, or fifty years after that. But darn Graduation ceived increase in crime, occultism, drugs, frequent soon, nevertheless. Of course, they're covering their earthquakes and natural disasters, new plagues, eth- backs, just in case it comes much later than sooner. nic conflicts, and the New World Order. Michael Barkin explains this trait in Disaster and Portrait Also back on the. scene is David Jeremiah and C.C. the Millenium: "The more widely millenarian beliefs Carleson (coauthor of The late Great Planet Earth) are known, the less likely that they will either retain with The Handwriting on the Wall: secrets from the their original characteristics or become the bases for Book of Daniel. This book claims to provide a guide action. We have seen the distortions that can take for dynamic living in the face ofprophesy. place, all in the direction ofreducing the emphasis on

The 90's - Decade of the Apocalypse: The sudden, dramatic change. The problem is akin to

European Common Market - The End Has Begun, that which faces movements themselves. A choice by Steve Terrell, claims we've entered the prelude to must be made between small numbers of the highly Armageddon. Relating to scriptures which say the committed or large numbers of nominal adherents. PHOTOGRAPHERS antichrist will emerge as the leader of a united Destiny, fate, or mission, when they become common Europe, some writers an; having a field day with EC property, connote a general upward movement of the Serving WLU Grads for 30 years speculation. historical curve, not a cause that demands total sacri- Grant R. Geoffrey's Armageddon: appointment fice and commitment." All Faculty Colours available with destiny and Apocalypse: the coming judge- In other words, a brief look at many of today's ment of the nation are two examples of about half a prophesy books will prove the writers are toning Call Today dozen books on prophesy belief by this television down the sense of urgency that may have been preacher on the shelf. 1 le hosts This Week in Bible expressed in the past, in order to appeal to the widest Prophesy or one of the other shows. A competitor. audience. 745-8637 Some personalfavourites...ofthe apocalyptic genre

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® * by Douglas Adams ended its five- yprirl 8 '<4\ 'j[i Li L®i * I II *'* fr\ il part trilogy with the complete destruction of the earth, this time *" ' WMrii'*M|jj| with our heroes on it. Whither a '' - f LICiYlrtI ILL F ? tliis results in a final .Judgement is Ft',f' ; §;i; 'ISl ——' Freshly ground, hard to say The sixth book in the mf '■' jf ' " trilogy has not been written yet. • f Also Serving: whole-bean Light Meals premium coffee

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The original Planet of the Apes movie with Charleton Heston allud- , Coming Soon: w | ed to the destruction of human civilization through a cataclysmic '5> nuclear holocaust of apocalyptic proportions. This resulted in a Wmm Cappuccino. Espresso. .e i—i n* new order. The 1963 novel by Pierre Boulc suggests a devolution Decadent Desserts. | | cr of humanity

theCord March 1, 1995 13 SPORTS

Triple OT heartbreak

PETE ROBINSON those comments reflect the way he Cord Sports describes the season. In the end it was almost fitting "We just weren't consistent. We that a low scoring unheralded started off real strong then we had defenceman ended what was one of some real ups and downs. As a Laurier's stormiest seasons to date. coach that's disappointing." Mark CardiJDTs third goal, in the The season was somewhat dying seconds of the third overtime, strange for the Hawks. Losing to put the final nail in the 94-95 cam- teams like Laurentian, Queens and paign's coffin, as the Hawks lost a 6- Windsor (twice), the Hawks 5 decision to up-the-street rival redeemed themselves somewhat Waterloo. when they were able to beat teams STINSON The loss spoiled a brilliant per- like Cuelph and Western. However, formance by goalie Geoff Schnare, the team never seemed to put SCOTT in addition to a spirited performance together a consistent string of by the Mike Dahle-Smitty games after the Christmas break. Kulafofski-Don McConnell line. The Once the Hawks lost the strangle- PICTURE- line accounted for three of the four- hold they once had on first place in The Waterloo Warriors celebrate their fifth goal of the evening midway through the third period of their 6-5 goals that the I lawks scored in the early February, at about the same triple OT win over the Hawks in OUAA playoff hockey action. The loss ended the season for Laurier, who had third that allowed them to crawl time the Warriors were rccmerging not lost a meaningful game to Waterloo all season. back into the game, before sending from an early season slump, you got it into overtime tied at five. the feeling that there might be an very talented group of veteran play- only for laurier but for the league. "There's still a lot of good players "We didn't start off too early exit from the playoffs for ers. Mike Dahle, Chris George, However all of this was not enough that are good students," said strong...but in the end it was a hellu- Laurier. Smitty Kulafofski and Don and the fact is not lost on Cowing. Gowing. I lowever it is also a fact va hockey game," is how die Head That is disappointing not only for McConnell are just four of about 8- He plans to unveil a "new look" that the quality of recruiting classes Hawk Wayne (lowing summed up I ,auricr followers who wanted to see 10 players that will not return next team for next year to replace the at Laurier has declined since 1991- the game. It's almost eerie how the Hawks do well, but also for a year. "Yes, it looks as though we are existing squad. 92, when McConnell, Mark Strohack losing a group of experienced tal- "As a coach 1 look forward to the and Smitty Kulafofski, among many ented hockey players," said new challenges," he said "however others came into Laurier for their Go wing. the talent pool gets smaller every rookie year. More on that in a moment but year." Based on a couple of different Look for next week's issue first some of the year's highlights. factors that pool may be of the where a full season scoring summa- John Spoltore was denied a third Turtle-size variety. Rising admission ry will appear. Gowing's final straight scoring title, eventually fin- standards and the re-emergence of thoughts on the year "I would like to ishing fourth with 52 points. lower-level pro hockey, has severely thank all the fans and volunteers for However it took a record perfor- inhibited the recruiting pull of uni- their effort this year, as a coach 1 ] mance by scoring champ Yvan versity coaches like Gowing. Case in can't say enough." ; Beregeron and two extra games in point is the situation involving OHL Notes: Chris George and John STINSON ] the schedule for Brock's Ryan grad Dustin McArthur. After quitting Spoltore secured all-star berths on j Savoia and Darren Macoretta to the Sarnia Sting this year he sought the West first team. Mark Strohack SCOTT ' deny him. Don McConnell enjoyed out a university in the OUAA. bagged a second-team honour on \ his best season as a Hawk. Mike Laurier was unable to accept him the West squad. Notable in his j Dahle put himself in the top 50 all- due to their admission standards, absence was Geoff Schnarc, he PICTURE: the clearly Joe Dimaline of time scoring leaders in the OUAA. however his marks were in outplayed Todd White of the Hawks makes an impressive end-to-end rush during Geoff Schnare showed that he is range that would have, until recent- York but was denied a spot on the the second period of Tuesdays loss. He was unable to convert the back- probably the goalie of the future not ly given him the nod. second team. hand attempt. Hawk swimmers making waves Laurier tofieldfirst ever relay team at NationalFinals

SCOTT STINSON Cord Sports was due to some very strong perfor- plishments, the relay team of Gilbert, In a season of Laurier varsity athletics mances, most notably those of Carolyn Miller, Parsons and Stephanie Taylor that has been brimming with disap- Gilbert, Sue Miller, Jennifer Parsons, took silver in the 4X100 metre medley pointment, one team has exceeded all and Laura King. and the bronze in the 4X200 metre expectations and has advanced to the Gilbert took the gold in the 50 metre freestyle. national finals. butterfly in an OWIAA record time of The lofty results mean that for the While the laurier athletic program is 29.01. She also won gold in the 100 first time ever, Laurier will field a relay no stranger to post-season success, this metre breaststroke and silver in the team at the National Championships at particular team certainly is. 100 metre butterfly. Laval on March 3rd-5th. Gilbert, Miller, After an eleventh place finish last Miller brought home the gold in the Parsons, and King will all be attempting year, the women's swim team placed 200 metre backstroke while taking the to duplicate their fine showings at the fifth at the Ontario Championships at silver in bot.li the 100 metre backstroke Provincials. Toronto on the 13th and 14th of and the 800 metre freestyle. Coach Boles hopes that the team can I z is 0 February. King contributed a pair of bronze place in the top six. He also believes that 00 Z In recognition of the big improve- medals in the 50 metre backstroke and a medal is "within reach" in the relays ment, Head Coach Dean Boles was the 100 metre backstroke. and that Miller and Gilbert have very o named OWIAA Coach of the Year, an Aside from the individual ac.com- realistic shots at individual medals. u ;: oo di award voted on by the 16 coaches rep- * resented at the meet. Off to the Nationals in Laval are Laurier swimmers (clockwise from top left) Not surprisingly, the fifth place result Laura King, Sue Miller, Carolyn Gilbert, and Jennifer Parsons.

14 March 1, 1995 theCord —(Sports)

Outside unlimited free agency to some degree. salary cap, Bud? works. Any restrictions? SELIG: We've always said that it's important GLAVINE: Bitchin'. SEIJG: After age 42. to have a cap to ensure that the small market USERY: What about the backlash? The U.N. FEI IR: At conception. cities are able to compete financially with big probably wouldn't be too impressed. USERY: i iow about a salary cap? cities with huge amounts ofrevenue. CLINTON: No problem. We blame it on Iraq, SEIJG: important to protect the future FEHR: But a cap is unnecessary. Owners just or Somali warlords, or Beavis and Butthead. ofthe game itself. have to learn to operate within their budget. SELIG: What about Christopher Darden, that FEHR: Important to protect fascist On one hand, they complain that they can't Assistant District Attorney in the Simpson

the Lines owners from their own stupidity. compete, then on the other hand they sign trial? I heard he's a bit ofa loose cannon. USERY: What are your feelings on a players to much more than they're worth. It's CLINTON: Good idea. I'll give Ito a call and tell SCOTT STINSON drug policy? their own fault. him to cite Darden for contempt a week or so Cord Sports SELIG: We need to tighten up the policy to USERY: Are any teams actually operating before, just to plant the seed. Then I'll fly up to Blazing a trail of investigative journalism, eliminate some of the bad press the game gets within their budget like you suggest, Don? Ottawa and gush about how wonderful our The Cord has managed to gel a tape of the when players have multiple drug offenses. FEHR: Not many. Toronto, for one. relations are for a couple of days. I'll be the While House meeting a few weeks back that FEIIR: Free hash bar in the locker room after SELIG: Those guys are making the rest of us last person they'll suspect. attempted to resolve the baseball dispute. The every game. look bad. USERY: Well then, I guess we're finished. following is a transcript ofthe discussion, one USERY: Artificial turf or natural grass? FIELDER: Their beer's too expensive. (Sound of chairs scraping) I'm sure you will find quite alarming. Present SELIG: Turf. USERY: So what I'm hearing is that since CLINTON (buzzes secretary): Contact the CIA, at the meeting were Donald Fehr, head of the FEHR: Grass. Toronto has good management and great fan the Secretary of Defense, and Jean Chretien, Players Union, Bud Selig, Acting USERY (exasperated): Butter or margarine? support, they have been able to get the most will you? Commissioner, William Usery, federal SELIG: Butter. out of their revenue, winning two Series titles, EIELDER: Will this have any affect on beer Mediator, Cecil Fielder of the Detroit Tigers, FEI IR: Margarine. while making everyone else look stupid in the prices? (tape ends) Pom Glavine of the Atlanta Braves and Bill USERY: Coke or Pepsi? process. There you are. /4s you can see, the wheels Clinton, President of the United States of SEIJG: Coke. FIELDER: And their beer's too expensive. are already in motion. I'm off to the bomb America. FEHR: Pepsi. USERY: That too. So without Toronto, the shelter. God help us. USERY: Okay, gentlemen, I know that there USERY: Kirk or Picard? teams could spend freely and all has been plenty of animosity in these negotia- SELIG: Kirk. make bad decisions without, having to tions so let's start by having each side clear FEI IR: Worf. worry about getting beat by better the air. Donald, how do you feel about the USERY (really exasperated): Is there anything decision-makers. Right? league and owners at his point? you agree on? SEIJG: Sure. FEHR: I'd have to say that they are a bunch of (Pause, topping of fingers) FEHR: Makes sense. money-grubbing slave drivers who can't FEI IR: Well, I'd say we have a mutual dislike CLINTON: So if Toronto Ls no longer rm=zm w understand that since the players attract the ofeach other. in the picture, will that bring us closer Helping You Put Your A if fans, they should get an even share of the SELIG: Agreed. to a deal? Best Fate Forward — tt profits. USERY: Right. SELIG: Much closer. -%»# USERY: Bud? CLINTON: Say, Cecil, could you sign this cap? FEHR: Couldn't hurt. Bene ° Wart || SELIG: Donald is apparently oblivious to the FIELDER: Sure thing Mr. President (sound of USERY: Umm, Mr. President, what j| Specialists fact that the players are overpaid morons who pen writing). exactly do you mean by "out of the Glycolic flcid Peels are demanding equal profits without assum- CLINTON: Thanks. tf picture"? Facials ° ing equal risk. FIELDER: That'll be eight bucks. CLINTON (nudging sounds): You Jf Esthetics USERY: I see. Well, let's see if we can find CLINTON: Yes, light, of course. know.(pause) I mean, the Cold War's it Electrolysis ° Waxing some common ground and work from there. USERY: Getting back to the Issues here, why is over...We have all this nuclear capa- You've both expressed a desire to continue it that the owners really feel they need a bility...Frankly, I'm itching to see if it ;j Call IES»BCne » || Univ. Weber medical Center 112J #%> #% TAMIAE's <%>#*%>#<%># The CordSporte NHLFbol Ducks Serious movement in Weeks 4 and 5 of the Cord Sports/Front Row plucked NHL Pool. J continues to hang to a "fd Li Gh a precarious lead with 217 points. However, a bunch of people are earning on strong. ANTHONY PASTO AND Vancouver 10 Anaheim 4 H ere's theTopTen; STEVE GROENEVELD Vancouver had another successful night, Cord Sports annihilating the Anaheim Mighty Schmucks 1. SamanthaTouchie 217 points It's good to bo back, TAMIAF fans. For the 10-4. Hotshot Westlake was in on 9 of 2. Jeff Shortt 2 I 3 past I'cw weeks the two of us have been Vancouver's 10 goals (makes you wonder if 3. Rob Manger 209 attending the TAMIAF Hockey league Board he ever gets off the ice). Hot Fudge con- s.Chuck Fairley 207 of Governors annual conference held on the tributed also with 2 goals and 4 assists. Brad isle of Bermuda. Discussions included Bailey was Anaheim's top point-getter with 1 s.Wendy Wallace 207 increased timekeepers salary, the financing of goal and 2 assists. It looks like Anaheim is 6. Gary Watson 205 a new facility to meet the recent insurgence of gunning for the Ist round pick in next year's 7.Anish Makim 203 the TIIL faas, and a new international televi- draß. 202 sion contract. Both of this week's games (Calgary vs. 8. Pieter O'Leary And now we return to find the teams Ottawa, Toronto vs. Vancouver) were forfeited B.Rob Aszmies 202 involved in a hot playoffrace. due to a strange illness. I O.Adrian Osborne 199

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ÜBBatuwauMWMßxmwußuauißiMuuimwMßmwia theCord March 1, 1995 15 (Sports)^ I was just wondering... Some sporting questions thatIjust don't understand

SCOTT CULLEN year, has been a pleasant surprise for the games worth for any of the league's top big greatest player has looked positively mediocre Cord Sports Oilers with his speed and scoring ability. men. Maybe people are just too scared of this season. He was -14 in the early going, and Reading week was an excellent opportunity to Oksiuta is a 6'4" Czech power forward who making contact with his tattoos. Whatever the although he has never been known as a catch up on pro sports. My inquisitive mind lacks work ethic, but has tremendous finish- reason, he has made the San Antonio Spurs a defensive force, that minus was embarrass- came up with some questions that need ing ability, lie still cannot get in the lineup contender in the West. ing. Gretzky has admitted he has been awful answers. Please feel free to help me under- every game, but has shown that he can carry Did the Orlando Magic make the best draft day so far, but he will get better this season. The stand. his minor league scoring up to the next level. deaJ ever? How about trading Chris Webber for Kings have had four of their starting six Who is wearing John LeClair's jersey in Laperricre has blossomed under Mike Anfemee Hardaway? Sounded like a pretty defensemen out for varying periods with Philadelphia? Obviously, the Canadiens traded Keenan in St. I/)uLs. Since Craig Janney took good deal for both teams until the Warriors injuries. For a team that is known to be weak away a power forward who was not reaching up residence in Mike Keenan's pooch palace, threw in 3 first-round picks. Webber has been defensively, there is nothing so distressing as his potential, but this is ridiculous. The big lias benefited from the increased traded out of Golden State (for Tom Gugliotta, to have guys on defence, who were not good man out of the University of Vermont has had playing time at center and has given the Blues who has been traded for Donyell Marshall) enough to make your team in training camp, two hat tricks and 14 points in his first seven some unexpected production. and has been a good player for the Bullets, playing double shifts in the regular season. games with the Flyers, and is looking like the Can anyone stop Dennis Rodman on the when healthy. On the other hand, Penny Wayne is not at the top of the league as he player the Canadiens kept telling people boards? Perhaps stopping Rodman with hair I lardaway has been drawing more and more used to be, but still has enough to offer to be a about. The I labs did get Mark Recchi, who dye is a bigger concern, but there Is no deny- comparisons with Magic Johnson, and they do star player for a few more seasons, especially continues to score, but Serge Savard has to be ing the fact that Rodman is the NBAs best not seem out of line. Penny cannot pass as once he has a healthy supporting cast, anoth- regretting the early dividends on the trade. rebounder, by far. At 6'B", The Worm has well as Magic, but Magic did not have the er guy about Mats Sundin in Toronto and his Has anyone ever heard of Todd Marchant, decent size, but it is a mystery what makes quickness or explosive dunking ability that response was "I luh?". Roman Oksiuta and lan Lapem'ere? These three him such a force on the glass. year he led Penny does. Adding first-round draft picks to One elderly gentlemen knew everything are among the top rookies in goals, along with the league with nearly 17 per game and the deal makes the Orlando management look about the Panthers and felt they had a strong the much celebrated Paul Kariya. Marchant, recently, Rodman hauled in 30 rebounds in a even more impressive. team. Impressive, until we found out he was who played for the U.S. Olympic team last game against the Rockets. That is about three Is Wayne at the end of the line? Hockey's from Toronto. DpUM] University Cup '95 OUAA FinalFour

» Finals s tej CIAU Hockey hockeyplayoffs coming to theRec Complex

(3W?©ff 30lll0: ivaaig] gaQ©Slia©[ib Q® PETE ROBINSON representatives in the University Cup the fol- ®£i© @©a4i ©338@©So QsQ ° ®K?® Q© SPOto-ils Cord Sports lowing weekend in Toronto. The OUAA l-inal Four comes to town this A group of hiurier students, faculty and r£fl SQoq®o Scocil jps?3a© Q Ww® (HsDacsGs Q© (Eh© s^m^Jiivrfte ati weekend, when #8 Guelph take; on #3 IXJTH alumni have been meeting since January at 2:00 pm on Saturday at the Hex: Complex. organizing the event, with the hopes of i!/iipgfl% SJcamos, The winner of the Brock/York series this securing the event permanently in the week will play Western at 7:(X) pm. The win- future. ©8 Who won the 1994 University Cup? ners will face off for the Queen's Cup at 2:(X) Three prizes will he given away over the pm on Saturday. course of the weekend, including two 'IVs. Ms The tournament will decide the Ontario See you there Saturday.

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16 March 1, 1995 theCord {Sports)^ Leafs Talk in America

JASON PAUL AND COMING". They will really boost the lead I,ho way and I lamiiton is just a another guy about Mats Sundin in The Jets or Ducks? ROB MCGOWAN game if their coverage is as good as token Canadian city being men- Toronto and Iris response was Question Marks: Why won't the CORD SPORTS football. tioned. Rumour has it that Ted "Huh?". One elderly gentlemen Penguins win it all? No grit. Why do Ix-afs Talk decided to take a trip ISSUE 2: Newspapers. Baseball in Turner wants a team back in knew everything about the Panthers Americans love basketball so much? down south to sec the American USA Today gets two pages worth of Atlanta and Microsoft is interested and felt they had a strong team. Isn't it just hockey without ice or perspective on hockey. replacement talk yet hockey gets an in one in Seattle. The biggest Impressive, until we found out he goalies? Why isn't CBC available Unfortunately, all of our expecta- article about the size of this one. matchup of the season, Pens vs. was from Toronto. across the United States? Why did tions were met. Americans do not Most days college hockey get more Nords, got about a paragraph in the ISSUE 4: The Leafe. There weren't L.A. trade away their future if have a clue what is going on. than the NHL The best insight the Miami I lerald. Simply put, hockey is too many highlights of the boys. A they're only going to play Grant ISSUE I: Television. KSPN2 tries to paper had on hockey was that not front page news. It's stuck at the lot of attention was given to the Fuhr every other game? What's up cover hockey but they do as good a .laromir, as in Jagr, when mixed back with the dogracing results. home and home series with Detroit with that new hammerhead goalie job as Rogers Cable. There was a around spells Mario, Jr. Big deal!! ISSUE 3: Ixtcal Folks. We went on but other than that a tiny game line stick? Lightning-Islander game on the Wendel Clark got many write ups a search of the community to see if was all that was given. The papers Pro Tip of the Week: To all you Sunshine Network but it was like about how he turned around the hockey is catching on in the mentioned the lack of scoring from young wingers out there. Don't watching Disney on Ice. The local Nordiquos. It's surprising that he's Sunshine State. Guess what, it ain't. Doug Gilmour. These rumours of the admire the pass or you'll wind up newscasts show no highlights and getting more exposure in a small We asked one young fella about the Buds trading him are pretty sad; kissing the ice. partial scores. All they show are market than he was when he was in lightning and he said, "The hockey .500 teams almost always make the profiles of out of shape replacement TO One interesting article talked team? They're not doing very well playoffs and the liiafs should easily WLUResults baseball playei-s. FOX is building up about possible expansion sights. are they? The Magic, though, is be above that in the next 20 games. a lot of hype that "Till'; NIIL IS Apparently, Denver and Phoenix really big around here." We asked Who's going to knock them out?

Final Standings Men's Basketball West W I IP Guelph 12 2 24 Mac 11 3 22 Brcx'k 9 5 18 Waterloo 8 6 16 Lakehead 6 8 12 Western 5 9 10 Windsor 3 11 6 Laurier 2 12 4

Women'sBasketball GAIL FAYERMAN ill A " jMf ' B B^jjjyfflfSffl West W L TP Director of Diploma -..jmF Western 14 0 28 Jjf j||fc _jjj Lakehead 10 4 20 Brock 9 5 18 Mac 7 7 14 HMH Windsor 6 8 12 Guelph 5 9 10 ? <\ <■ 1 ,>&. i Waterkx) 4 10 8 ■^w|iii;i _ w St*T|||| IT/IBfilH Laurier 1 13 2

Men's Volleyball is m I' 4 West MW ML TP The bottom line that ijl^^Hl Waterloo 12 11 22 Western 8 4 16 Windsor 8 4 16 Concordia students are 14 graduate Mac 7 5 Brcx'k 6 6 12 Guelph 1 11 2 tops in a bottom line profession. Laurier 1 11 2

Aspiring accountants must first pass the rigorous four-day Uniform Final Examination (U.EE.), sponsored by the Women's Volleyball Canadian Institute of Chartered Accountants. Concordia's success in these examinations has been nothing short of West MW ML TP phenomenal, its students having convincingly topped the national pass rate six times between'l9BB and 1994. In Mac 13 1 26 1994 for example, Concordia's pass rate was 80%; the Canadian average was 53%, Quebec's 39%. Western 12 2 24 8 6 16 This success rate, according to Gail Fayerman, director of the Diploma in Accountancy programme, is the HUmmm Brock 6 8 12 result of "small classes which enable students to get a lot of personal attention from professors who are Waterkx) 6 8 12 among the best in their field. Also, our courses evolve quickly to keep up with current developments." MfWHW Guelph 5 9 10 That sentiment is echoed by student lan Carew, recipient of Quebec's third highest grade in last Windsor 3 11 6 Laurier 3 116 year's U.EE.. He credits his success to a "comprehensive curriculum, and professors whose practical work experience prepares us for the real world". Mawlßl^WnM Women's Hockey And there are other valid reasons Concordia is the right university for so many people: Playoff Results more than 160 undergraduate and graduate programmes with strong reputations in February 18th Guelph 4 Queen's 0 business studies, communications, psychology, fine arts and engineering, a college Toronto 4 Laurier 1 system offering a personalized approach to education, a friendly atmosphere with February 19th professors who are known for their accessibility, a remarkable choice of HBligiMlfl| Guelph 3 Toronto 2 programmes on a full- and part-time basis and two campuses with a student body truly representative of Montreal's diverse population. BslMMffiNH Congrats to First Team OWLV All-Star Amy Turek of Laurier. When you consider that Concordia is also known for being in touch with the real world, you can be assured that what you learn here Men's Swimming will go farther out there. OUAA Finals Team TP McMaster 877.5 Toronto 634.0 \ gjg Concordia I HHBB Western 377.0 I Guelph 307.0 ly UNIVERSITY /u„ i.. m \i/ J 1455 de Maisonneuve Blvd. W. I.aurentian 224.5 Montreal (Quebec) H3GIMB Waterlcx) 223-0 B Ottawa 162.0 Brcxk 116.0 Windsor 82.0 RMC 64.0 y of teatftrtfb/U Laurier 52.0 Queen's 50.0

theCord March 1, 1995 17 ENTERTAINMENT Gump leads the Oscar parade

JASON PAUL Supporting Actor: Martin Landau has been awards Cord Entertainment cleaning up at the other ceremonies for to Not surprisingly, Forrest Gump leads all movies Ed Wood and will be tough beat. Pulp's with 13 nominations for the March 27th pre- Samuel L. Jackson and Gump's Gary Sinise sentation of the Academy Awards. Bullets Over turned in brilliant performances too. Chazz Broadway, The Shawshank Redemption and Pulp Palminteri (Bullets Over Broadway), who was Fiction also did extremely well, each receiving great in A Bronx Tale, and Paul Schofield (Quiz seven nominations. The following is a look at Show) don't stand a chance. the major categories. Supporting Actress: Bullets' Diane Wiest should Best Picture: Forrest Gump looks like a lock. Pulp prevail over co-star Jennifer Tilley and Uma fiction is viewed as too violent, Quiz Show and The Thurman of Pulp fiction. Rosemary Harris (Tom Shawshank Redemption were box office flops, and & Viv) and Helen Mirren (The Madness of King Four Weddings and a Funeral looks like a filler. George) round out the nominees. Lead Actor: Morgan Freeman and John Director: Five excellent candidates. Woody Allen

- Travolta were excellent in The Shawshank - Bullets Over Broadway, Robert Redford Quiz Redemption and Pulp fiction respectively but are Show, Robert Zemeckis - Forrest Gump, Quentin underdogs. No one has seen (or heard of) Nigel Tarantino - Pulp fiction and Krzysztof Kieslowski Hawthorne in The Madness of King George. Will - Red. Look for the best picture winner to take Paul Newman be given the statue as a farewell this award as well. At least Kieslowski got a nod gesture for Nobody's Fool or will Mr. Gump Tom for director even though his film didn't even I lanks take it home for the second consecutive pick up a foreign film nomination. year? Lead Actress: Another weak year of nominees BUZZZ: lx»ok for ... a Gump sweep of the major

has Jodie Foster looking for her third Oscar for categories ... The Shawshank Redemption to get

Nell. Jessica lange is receiving good word of shut out ... a Hoop Dreams protest for it being mouth for a film made three years ago! Susan embarrassingly left off the best documentary list the original screenplay Sarandon (The Client) was nominated due to ... the Academy to give PICTURE lack of competition. Miranda Richardson (Tom & to Red or Pulp fiction as a token award for being FILE Viv) does not have the exposure. Perhaps the unconventional ... David Letterman as host. Academy will reward Winona Ryder (Little People might actually watch all four hours this Just when you thought it had been pushed off to the video stores, Forrest Gump Women) this year because she was overlooked year. Best Picture. returns to haunt us, garnering 13 Oscar nominations, including for The Age of Innocence. Juno what I know?

SHAWN CALLAN MacNeil as "Fatty". I said might. Neil Young and The Tragically McLachlan • Wild Strawberries CORD ENTERTAINMENT In an attempt to be taken more Hip. Do ya think the Hip will win7 •North Country: The Rankin Most Likely To Be Killed By Ilcy, it's Juno time again. The seriously by the youth market, the The surprise hosts of this year's Family Sniper Fire Canadian, almost invariably dull traditionally stiff Junos have Junos are the irreverant bastards of Single Of The Year • David Foster music awards are a little bit more appointed a new Alternative Album 'This Hour Has 22 Minutes', the • Could I Be Your Girl: Jann Arden • Raffi special this year, as they are being award. Nominated for this presti- funny CBC comedy sketch show fea- • Mmm Mmm Mmm: Crash Test • Brad Roberts (Crash Test held in the olympian confines of gious award are Eric's Trip, Our turing former members of Dummies Dummies) Hamilton's Copps Coliseum, provid- Lady Peace, 54:40, King Cobb Newfoundlands CODCO. It remains • Power Of Love: Celine Dion • Steven Page (Barenaked Ladies) ing a full audience reception with Steeiie, Rose Chronicles, and to be seen how the foursome is • Please Forgive Me: Bryan Adams • Bryan Adams 6,500 seats being sold to the public. Sloan. Take Sloan to win, by Junos preparing to handle the show, but • Push: Moist Most Likely To Be Followed Previously, only music biz types how many votes? Also, this year you can bet on some of the best lan- Group Of The Year Home were allowed to attend. there is a special phone line set up guage since Carole Pope (of the • Barenaked Indies • Roberta Harrison Highlighting the awards are, of so that you, the Melrose-watching notorious Rough Trade) sang "She • Crash Test Dummies • Sarah Mcl^achlan course, the live performances. public, can buy a vote for Best makes me cream my jeans" in the • Spirit Of The West • Celine Dion Artists set to jam are The Entertainer of the year at 1-900- '78 edition. • The Tragically I lip • Sara Craig Barenaked Ladies, Sarah 870-1200. Each call will cost 75

• Eiastica are at tlie Opera 1 louse • Sons of Freedom arc at Palace • Wierdstonc CD release party at 1joe s Palace • Aerosmith Unplugged is on MuchMusic March 3 March 5 • WI ,U Faculty of Music presents Angelique and A Dinner • Pond are at Lee's Palace Hang Engagement in the Theatre Auditorium March 6 • • The Cranes are at ix;es Palace Pete and Chad are live at the Crocodile Rock in Zekcs

Where to • The Otis Clay Review are at ol'Chicago's in Guelph restaurant March I March 4 • LA Guns are at RPM

• • • Tommy premieres ill the 1 ilgin Theatre Ma's Home Remedy CD Release party at Will's with Betty Serveert are at Lee s Palace • Paintings of John McCreery continues at the Robert special guest Matt Osborne March 7 1 iingen Gallery • Spin Doctors arc at Lulu's • Joe Cocker is at Masscy I lall

• • • K-W Symphony Unplugged at Centre in tile Square Otis Clay Is at the Volcano Skid Row presents a preview of their new album March 2 • K-YV Symphony gala concert with Dudley Moore at "Subhuman Race" at RPM • Ways in • Grasshopper, Sarsipious the flea, Unsane. and Choke to Centre in the Square YVLU Drama Club presents Let Me Count the Start are at the Volcano • Mel Brown is at ol'Chicago's 1 M

18 March 1, 1995 theCord (entertainment)

introduce the banter between singers which helped build the *Beautiful South*s n>ii< 11 r;x«i t" i reputation. For Your Rural Stimulation... "0898" and "Miaow" arc also well-rep- resented, with "Old Red Eyes is Back", Various Artists "36D" and "Good as Gold (Stupid as Mud)" The Best Punk Carry on up the among others. The new song, "One Last Album In The Charts Love Song", has a bit of a Celtic feel to it World Ever The Best of the and will probably be a hit with the band s Beautiful South fans. What surprised me most about "Carry on up the Charts" was not the songs that 92 Lodge Si Opposite were included, but the hits that were left Wot e rl oo Cosey's out. "Woman in the Wall", easily the best track on "Welcome to the Beautiful South", Punk never died. It's just been sleeping. As with any greatest hits compilation, this wasn't included on the compilation. Amid the current punk revival climate disc is pretty easy to review. It's rare that a If you're a true fan and a careful shop- inspired by the Offspring/Bad Religion/Green "best of' album would be full of lousy per, you may be able to find a limited edi- Day/Rancid phenomenon. Circa Records lias songs. "Cairy on up the Charts" showcases tion 2 disc version of "Carry on up the come out with a 2 CD compilation of 48 some of the best songs to come from the Charts". Disc 1 is the standard CD that Come and Join Us at the Friend![est songs that shows the diversity, quality, and Beautiful Souths four albums, and also fea- most stores will carry, and Disc 2 is a col- Club in Town with the Best Prize Money spirit of original punk (1977-1980). In tures one previously unreleased track. The lection of B-sides and three new tracks. terms of value for money, you can't go songs are arranged chronologically on the Then! are a few covers, like the Bee Gees' wrong with this record. It features originals disc, which provides an interesting oppor- "I Started a Joke" and "Love Wars" but AFTERNOON JACKPOT by The Buzzcocks, The Stranglers, The Damned. tunity to see how the band has evolved most ofthe songs are relatively unknown. I Elvis Costello, Talking Heads. Iggy Pop, Sex since the release of "Welcome to the guess they recognized their oversight on 00 Pistols, Pretenders, Killing Joke, Ramones, The Beautiful South" in 1989.The most obvious the regular disc, because "Woman in the 1 000 IN 54 #S Jam. Lan Dury, Devo, and as the saying goes, change has been in the vocalists. "Song for Wall" also found its way onto the second (S5OO CONSOLATION) many more. The sound quality could be Whoever", and "You Keep it all in" are disc. I wouldn't recommend the two disc better and the complete lack of liner notes dominated by Paul 1 Icaton, while the songs version for anyone but die-hard fans. is disappointing, but the classics and obscu- from "Choke" begin to feature more of Overall, "Carry on up the Charts" is EVENING MUSTGOJACKPOT rities keep on coming. Hssentially for the Briana Corrigan, the backup vocalist who good value for the money you'll shell out. punk enthusiast, but containing something later became a full-lledged member of the Alter all, it is a greatest hits collection. S 00

1 for everyone, "The Best' is an education in band. She shares lead vocal responsibilities - Heather Mundell 1 20O spunk. 9 for songs, 1 for liner notes. with Paul on songs like "A Little Time" and - Shawn Callan "1 Think the Answer's Yes", which begin to 3 1 500°° LATE NIGHT MUST GO When Rhinos fly... JACKPOT 00 CHUCK FAIRLEY Having toured the country 12 times, the lost its fun and organic sound. sl O 0 000O Cord Entertainment band has become tighter and matured, and "Flying" is definitely worth checking ix)cal boys The Rhinos have finally released the new songs have taken on a broader out, and plans for a 13th cross-Canada tour Enjoy freshly made snacks, daily specials and our their long-awaited new album "Flying" on emotional aspect. I'he Rhinos may have arc in the making, so hopefully we will see delicious pizza at the "Oasis". We have the latest in climate and Kinetic Records, holding the gala release become older and wiser, but their mix of a lot more of The Rhinos live in the area. control equipment a large no-smoking area. bash this past Saturday at the Volcano. pop, funk, soul, and late '70s Bowie has not For further details call 886-8894 Minitures L1C.#22059 1 CHRIS SKALKOS in the club circuit and have become a regular Cord Entertainment feature at The Volcano, Kitcheners premiere Diversity and an open attitude art 1 what make alternative night club. Their popularity among The Minitures a "band Cor all venues." local musical circles seems to have no bound- What started out as a three 1 ; piece band has aries as they arc being consistently asked to i grown to a five member musical outfit that open gigs for headlining acts. mßmi" defies categorization. Influenced by a wide After winning first place in Kitchener's variety of music, The Minitures have the Battle of the Bands contest last year, Minitures uncanny ability to customize their concerts used the prize money to help fund their self- according to what their audiences want to released debut CD which is still in progress. hear. Currently, they are being sponsored by Wilfrid The band describes their music as free- University Student Publications for the style fusion and heavy dirt-like "ground beef" North By North Hast musical convention in chord progressions with a light jazz accent. Toronto where they will be exposed to record El Their gigs are characterized by abstract label representatives from across Canada. A rhythms and cartoonish-like ditties, and it's compilation produced by local artists in not uncommon for them to spontaneously Kitchener-Waterloo titled Don't Be A break into a unique long jam in the middle of Sucker...Swallow This, will feature an instru- a set. mental track by The Minitures called Since their formation in 1992, The "Humpleforskin". Look for its release on Minitures have become a prominent element March 25th.

7. Elastica. Another good female fronted U.K. band. Hard 6. Anyone get picked up by the Federalis on Reading Week.? Badges? We don't need no stinkin' Cord badges. 5. Ani DiFranco. Righteous Babe. SHAWN CALLAN 4. Casa Nina. 10.Election mayhem. Lovin' from the oven.

Vote for Cal, he's our man - if Marg won't 3. The Sons Of Freedom are back JUNE 15-17,1995Toronto Hilton, Toronto, Canada. Over 250 bands showcasing in 20 do try using I'am. together. downtown venues —Two days of conference sessions to educate and entertain. Writers and 9. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams - New Slay together. broadcasters from the alternative media will be in attendance. James Dean biography. 2. The Revels. APRIL 15th, 1995is the deadline for pre-registration to attend at a discount of $145.00 Cdn funds. Jimmy was a Nu! Oh Check out best in Sigma dear. the surf instrumentals. For more information: Write NXNE, 185 Danforth Ave., 2nd Floor, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4KIN2 8. The Cranes (playing Lee's Palace I. Mike Eastwood (Leaf). at Telephone (416) 469-0986, FAX (416) 469-8165, March 3) i le's really truckin' Oils year. E mail: [email protected] They're doing an ACOUSTIC prc-gig SXSW, 4999, 78765 show at CFNY. For registration in the United States contact: Box Austin TX Telephone (512) 467-7979 FAX (512) 451 -0754, E mail: [email protected]

theCord March 1, 1995 19 (Entertainment)- Hershey's Syrup can make Dear Dynamic Duo, tan will never fade, he'll always adore Chocolate scrumptious. Note: I met this guy during reading week yon, and he will always be hard. anything Squeezable cheese does not work in ANNOUNCEMENT who is from McMaster. We had a ter- Dynamic Duo this case. THE CORD REGRETS TO REPORT THE rific time together in Florida, and the DD, Dynamic Duo passing of Nicholas Pennell at 56 sex was fabulous. Do you think that he Dear YEARS OF AGE. A VETERAN OF 23 CON- Dear Dyno Team, SECUTIVE SEASONS WITH THE While my live-in STRATFORD FESTIVAL, ROBERTSON Dynamic boyfriend was away for "ONE OF DAVIES DESCRIBED HIM AS the week in Florida with THE PRINCIPAL UPHOLDERS OF THE his buddies, I had a house STRATFORD TRADITION, AND A FORE- guest stay with me for MOST CONTRIBUTOR TO THE DISTINC- company. The company TION OF THE STRATFORD FESTIVAL." Duo turned into the best sex HE WILL BE SORELY MISSED. by VenturaMelanieTanyaSeal ever. Do I try to explain to boyfriend why there are three will want to sec me now that we are Does oral sex matter that much to my cans of whipped cream in the fridge? home? girls? Signed, Signed, Signed, Picky Eater Whipped *In Waterloo there are only two ways to have fun after the lights go out" Tanned Lover Dear Whipped, THIS COMING WEEK Dear Tanned Lover, Dear Picky Eater, PlfflNG I I Why tell him? The quickest way to Part the magic a relation- Of course it does. In fact, when • • • No. of »''*^»T-VjiC*iwTl Rea Richard E. Grant Kim Basinger Me of has been over a holiday is beginning a relationship a little a man's heart documented 7:00pm WORUys BEST COMKOWS -94 belt • Roberts • Tim Robbins ship that happens Julia Tongue Dancing" can be as through his stomach. Serve up the & many more... that when it comes to an end, there "Guatemalan Many guys best banana split you can with tons : 0 are no strings. Most encounters on a a powerful sexual tool. of BMvWIWWWBMmT1W1" J ■ cream, and his suspicions /; i niiiii.E wefy year In Paris, fre top designers holiday never work once they are in can quickly recall the best head whipped 7:00pm*TBA* THE JANITOR axj fie worlds however, he the Did he give you his they've ever had, and it just makes will dissolve. If, finds the 9:25pm *PG* WORLD'S BEST (DMKCWV94 hottest fashion show. real world. that are the same way. So condom wrappers, your story will © phone number? Call him once; if he sense girls to be a little more creative. The ROBERT ALTMAN'S cloesn't return your call, don't call pucker up, buttercup, and remember have 7:00pm •TBA* THE JANITOR not back, don't write him a letter, and the slogan many girls have come to mention ofsafefruit sex may ease 9:2Spm *AA* PRET-A-PORTER " " worries, but aggravate them. P R E T A P 0 R T E R don't send him Keep him in live by. "Ix>ve Swallows All". If taste is his (READY TO WEAR) flowers. Duo your memory as someone special who your problem, add some special condi- Dynamic 7;00pm -TBA-THE JANITOR Something as simple as 1 f#b M rocked your world. In your mind, his ments. 9:2Spm «AA* PRET-A-PORIER

Locally produced & directed ! 7:00pm *AA* THREE COLOURS RED When Tennielle.the most popular girt -y Cundari 9:1Opm MTERVIEW WITHTHE VAMPIRE «hool, and Alberto, Bishop JpA —Highsdwol s lowly teervoge |ar*tof, fgj f® in love, the dirt really hits the fan. gyig Jpf and directed media-studies £ 7:00pm BEFORE SUNRISE Written by Bp m Sara Craig Msyi-mniML toRwwuiiis ilia St. Benedict Secondary School Sara entertains the 7:0V eeki... \ T'tk A 1 fl ti l t fi t* sensual indie pop. [ IMM o * 1 & t\ I wC JHHIIHI £ "E L O 1/ FfW«y F«l> 17 •TkwsJay F«b 23. AA

Film Guides available at Princess St. W Wilt's & The Centre Spot Waterloo 885-2950

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DAVE SCOTT Music with a dash of Annie Lennox and Carol 13 DRAFTS KiM Cord Entertainment Pope, Sara Craig is carving a niche for herself Sara Craig brought her personal mix of sensual in the creative new music genre. Live entertainment indie pop to Phil's Grandson's Place, promot- Full of energy and emotion, the highlight UJUULbSUmBJ from 9:00p.m. - 1:00a.m. ing her new record "Sweet Exhaust". of her set was "Cry Baby", a strong cut 7 nights a week Sara provided a theatrically entertaining the new record. show, merging interpretive dance with her The visuals of the live performance added $2.99 appetizers ethereal vocals. much to the music, producing a confident and her being reminiscent of Roxy evocative show. 10:00p.m. - 1:00a.m. With songs 7 nights a week (Ls&ic (Cjtxcrix

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100 Regina St. S. 747-4263 ii'^x, 1 Closed Sunday

20 March I 1995 theCord -(Entertainment) Treble n charged Jobs JOANNA JACKSON energetic and entertaining audio CD, but will also con- AND CHARLENE KISH show, and it was obvious that tain visuals, such as informa- At StudentPublications Cord Entertainment they were having a blast up tion on their record label, Six straight months in the on stage. Sonic Unyon, a fanzine, as number one position on Thursday, February 9th well as various video clips, IlMV's Independent Music was no exception. Opening up which can be viewed using a WLUSP is currently accepting applications for the Chart, from July until for hHead at the Bombshelter CD-ROM player. following volunteer (and some paid) positions... December, 1994. CASBY at Waterloo, treble charger Other future projects award winner last October held their own alongside the include a split single with for Favourite; New Band. powerful trio from Toronto, Ottawa's Punchbuggy, as well Second place and $25,000 in and even had the crowd as contribution to the compi- CFNY's Discovery to Disc moshing midway through lation to be put out by Editor-in-Chief Contest in October 1994. their ten song set. London's Bubblegun Records Not bad for a four person After a warm reception to expected by the end of News Editor band who have only been their debut single (and video) March. Associate News Editor together for two and a half "10th Grade Love", the By now you're probably years. chargers were adventurous asking yourself, "where, oh Sports Editor treble charger is comprised enough to unleash five well- where, can 1 find tills band?" Assistant Sports Editor of Greig, Bill and Rosie, who received new tunes on their Your best bet is to check out Entertainment Editor have known each other since spellbound listeners. The "ncl7" — an 11 song gem their high school days in Sault remaining songs were drawn that will have you singing Assistant Entertainment Editor Ste. Marie, as well as Morris from "ncl7", their debut CD along in no time. As well, tre- Features Editor from Mississauga. released in July. The old and ble charger also have a song The first time we were new stuff complemented each on the Neil Young tribute Copy Editor fortunate enough to catch other nicely, producing a album, "Borrowed Tunes", Production Manager them live last May, they were show which flowed smoothly and the Sonic Unyon compila- called ncl7. However, due to but packed a hard punch. tion, "...not if 1 smell you first". Production Assistants the fact that another band in treble charger, being on If you're really smart, California had the same the cutting edge of technology, though, you'll make it your name, treble charger was are not sticking merely to the quest to see this band live, soon born. conventional audio/video treble charger will be touring Our first impressions of mediums. The band is cur- southern Ontario in late Editor-in-Chief the band were that they had rently in the studio recording March, most likely with an incredible sound, with new songs, at least four of hi lead, if both bands get their AssociateKeystone Editor songs that were both melodic which will be packaged on an way. treble charger is Sales Manager and beautiful, yet thrashy and BP/CD-ROM set for release by dcfinetely a group to be put super-charged at the same the end of March. on the top ofeveryone's "Must Residence Editor time. They put on a very It will be sold as a regular See" list.

Advertising Manager Advertising Sales Representatives Advertising Production Manager Advertising Production Assistants

Photo Manager Photo Technicians

Treasurer SystemsAdministrator hiS3SBi1 Art Director Public Relations Manager

Applications and job descriptions are available in the Cord Offices (third floor, 5.U.8.)

K.I.C. applications and platforms mustbe submitted by 2 March, 1995 at4:3o p.m. K.I.C. candidates must be full-time, part-time or cross-registered students ofWLU. The H.I.C. election committee will be voted in atthe Cord staffmeeting on 3 March 1995, at 2:30 p.m. in Wilison Lounge. L.I.C. interviews will commence in the WLUSP offices at 5:00 that evening.

All other applications close 8 March, 1995 at 4:30 p.m. Interviews will be in the seven days to follow.

theCord March 1, 1995 21 NEUSTUDENTEN KUNST

Susanna Moodie

Susanna struggled with exile emigration from pastoral England to the wilds of Canada by and we read it as coming of age Chris Let me write of my own exile, my emigration from child to adult Walsh through pain and uncertainty:

you can read it as pioneer story as contending with swamps and fires and endless passage on foggy seas

(it works both ways, an image does)

imagine wandering from well-tended garden into black, dense forest Susanna's forests had no ghosts nor do mine We kiss footprints are swallowed up behind me the kiss of two sinners. by time: return or retreat is impossible How is it that we should stand apart from Judas when our lips also betray our sin? know this: the feeling of being alien is the same Perhaps our kiss when the new place plunges us into the water is adulthood. back to the beach where forgiveness stands waiting. Kathleen Meredith It is not our innocence - not the kiss when breath is sweet, when the moment is right,

when we are perfect - The UW Drama Department is presenting Les Belles Soeurs by Michel Tremblay, directed by Darlene Spenser in the Humanities but grace offered and received. Theatre, March 8-11 at 8pm. Tickets are $10 general public and $8 students/seniors. For more information or ticket reserva- tion call Theatre Box Office, Hagey Hall, 888-4908. Kathleen Meredith

The House of God INTUERI

DQnfi Q? s IH8<8Ikm©Oil BtejjsoP !!),§» W mm ® (RRiDQnK t All those little lies are the ones that bind a® ormDanu us together. d tp©IPO©©®5®ani ®if © © dl f A trick of light and shade keep the demons at bay in these eyes. Don't talk of the illusion that i have brought. Dirty and fresh the day awaits to pass. So i may got to battle, again. mark green HELP LARGE SELECTION of student rentals ranging PUBLIC Jenny May; bachelors to 8 person units, reasonable Sorry about the last night. Thanks for a great YYAXIN I tLJ rates, clean, laundry, parking utilities included, week. Love, Oh So Dreary. for details call The I .arry Estates 669-4646.

College Pro Painters-There is at least one STUDENT RESIDENCE 413 Hazel St. MY TYPIST! We do your typing right! Essays! TIMOTHY: A YEAR APART- summer manager position still available in Bachelor, 2, 4& 6 bedroom units, furnished. Term Papers! Resumes! Photocopying! Laser YUCK! I'M GOING TO MISS YOU Kitchener, Cambridge, London, Ingersol, laundry, parking, on bus route, from $275 util- Printing! Free Spell Checking! More! Call 579- LIKE CRAZY AND CANT WATT Woodstock, Strathroy, Stratford, Toronto and ities included. Phone 669-4646 2219! TO HAVE YOU BACK! I LOVE St. Catherines. We will teach all business and YOU BABY, AND AM SO PROUD technical skills to those hired. You must act 6 bedroom house on Erb St. RUN YOUR OWN BUSINESS. GAIN VALU- OF YOU! I HAVE FAITH THAT TODAY-application deadline is February 23rd. Laundry bedrooms, laundry facilities, ample ABLE BUSINESS EXPERIENCE WHILE WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS- Call us today for more information on this parking. Lease May 95 to April 96. BUILDING YOUR RESUME. EARN UP TO WE ARE MEANT TO BE! position and find out how to apply. Average $1400/month. Greg 888-0258. $10, 000 (25 JOBS) LIIGH DEMAND PROD- LOVE ALWAYS, NEAR OR FAR, manger earnings in 1994 were $9 400. Phone UCT, IRRIGATION SALES AND INSTALLA- TARA. (519)658-6512. 5 Bedroom House for rent, large bedrooms, TION. THE IDEAL OPPORTUNHY: VEHICLE with laundry. Two minute walk to WLU. REQUIRED. CAIJ, STUDENT SPRINKLERS AT BartenderAVaiterAVaitress required for new Marshall St., lease May 95 to April 96 1-800-265-7691 LOST AND FOUND gay bar in Downtown Kitchener, leave mes- $1350/month. Call Greg 888-0258 STEVE- I know a good thing when sage. 746-8350. LSAT-GMAT-GRE Training programs-Sincc I See it. I'd be lost without yOU. I

_ - _ will always love XOX Jen. _—, SEPTEMBER 1995 Furnished room available 1979 we have successfully prepared thou- yOU. SAVi-oC Sept. to April'96. $325.0Q/month utilities are sands of students for these tests. Programs included. Huge bedroom! Shared lower level range from six weeks to one weekend. Start NCR 1200 BAUD MODEM kitchen, bathroom, and sitting area. Private now! Richardson- (416) 410-7737 or 1-800- \ $20 CALL 886-2327! entrance. 10 minute walk to WLU and on bus 567-7737. route. Close to all amenities. Call 885-1171. Word Processing Service. Reports, resumes, I WANTED letters, mailing lists, form letters, etc., on recy- Male roommate, 12 month lease, $275/month. cled paper. laser printing, dictaphone, equa- !!,, J 112 V\ 2 minutes from WLU. Call Colleen 886-3111. tion editing, optical scanning available. Audrey ( I J 11 Two nicely furnished rooms available in mod- I J Mm ern, clean home for May or September. ADVANTAGE CAREER PATH RESUMES AND I it Kitchen and laundry facilities (not in base- WORD PROCESSING SERVICES. Resumes, 1 [ I I ment). Prefer non-smoking females. Call 746- Cover letters, Mail-outs prepared by an expert- Jfl V II MM 1428. $3(Xymontli. enced Human Resources Consultant. Letter jB V m and typing service available. All work picked W \ ■ xfelM P 5 bedroom house available May-Aug uptown up and delivered within 24 hours 745-6437. \ Waterloo location, charming area, parking for Jm 4, $600/month 888-7377 GRAD FUNDRAISING COMMITTEE MEET- ING. Thurs. Feb. 2,2:30 room 3-201. 5 house available Sept. 95. 1 year bedroom c\(\e. lease. Lakeshore area, garage, fireplace, quiet BE A BIG BROTHER ON MARCH 2, 1995 Cheap Computer location $1295/month. 888-7377 ITS FUN GET ANISH MAKIM WORK- I lewlett-Packard 1 IP7OO/44 Terminal and key- IT'S EASY ING FOR. YOU! board for sale! Like new $300 negotiable. Call 5 bedroom house available Sept. '95. Call us today 579-5150 Dave at 744-8794 (ask me about my modem!) Negotiable if needed. 888-7377. TYPEWRITING SERVICES AVAILABLE 10c ERFAllil » apartment, WORD. CALL 884-4216. THE WLU EN 1 Ql 2 bedroom basement Princess St. PER FHIEL AT F., 1 parking, Maylst., flexible lease, $410.00 PLAvtb I ant plus utilities, 748-5955. The VVI ,U Graduate Students' Association will COUNCIL IS HOSTING AN I be holding their general meeting on March Clean bachelor apartment, King and Bricker, 31st between 2-4pm (room TBA). The INTERFAITH DIALOGUE IN A May 1,1 year lease, $412.80 inclusive, 1 park- Association will also be holding a referendum cnnrTv cm APARTMENT LOR RENT - 3 bedrooms - Close ing, controlled entrance, laundry, 748-5955. over three days (March 29-31st) pertaining to PLURALISTIC SOCIETY, rRI- to WLU, Parking, laundry facilities. $325.00 two separate issues. The first issue will deal per person per month including utilities. Big two bedroom apartment, main floor with the changing of the Graduate Student DAY MARCH j FROM j: jUpm Available May 1/95 Call 416-491-1270. triplex building, May 1,1 year lease, subletters Health Plan and the second will deal with the in place for $325 per summer month, rent is implementation of a Graduate Enhancement TO 6pm IN THE I AUL MAR- VILIAGE ON THE GREEN TOWNHOUSE FOR $650.00 inclusive, 1 parking, Erb and Roslin Fee for the purposes of providing improved RENT area, 748-5955. services including the construction of a TIN CENTRE. GUESI LEC- -5 Bedrooms, clean, close to WLU, tennis court, Graduate Student Building, the provision of a a nth uduc rOOL)urknn A/C, laundry facilities. Call Sue @ 885-5509 4 bedroom house, Princess St. E„ $940.00 plus graduate computer lab, addition graduate TURERS AND EKEE utilities, 2 parking. May 1, flexible lease, funding (scholarships, bursaries and confer- HDucrMTi 3&4&5&6&7 bedroom houses for rent at 748-5955. ence funding) and improvements to graduate WILL BE PRESEN 1! reasonable rates. All have laundry and park- work space across campus. For further infor- cnnNTQnDFn ing, 1 year leases, walking distance to Big 5 bedroom house, King and William, mation please feel free to call the GSA oflice or THIS EVENT IS SI ONSORED Universities, Contact James at 747-0683 or at $1500.00 inclusive, 5 parking, May 1, 1995, e-mail us at any time. work 884-9000 flexible lease, 748-5955. WORKING TOWARDS A BRIGHTER GRADU- BY THE SENAI E CULI URAL ATE FUTURE FURNISHED HOUSE FOR RENT 5 bedroom townhouse, Lincoln and University, The Graduate Students' Association ph# 884- AFFAIRS COMMITTEE. Six bedrooms, 2 kitchens, 2 bathrooms, living $1000.00 plus utilities, Mayl, 1 year lease with 3310 e-mail:[email protected] and laundry rooms, extra. Excellent condi- subletters in place for summer, 3 parking,

'''''' ' lions. 10 mill, walk for WLU. Available May in 748-5955. CANNONBALIVBELLYFLOP CONTEST *95! ' one year. $1500 per month plus utilities. Call Tues. March 14th 8-10pm @ AC Pool 746-7928 after 6pm. 1 louse For Rent 5 bedrooms near the CONTESTANTS NEEDED! University and grocery store. Reasonably clean Call 885-4942 ifyou missed registration. FURNISHED 110USE FOR RENT and private. Call 725-4211 Prizes for Contestants!! Door prizes for Fans! Accommodation for five. Two bathrooms. $2 for Contestants, $1 for fans!! ■§! JmjKf Living, roc., and laundry rooms. Excellent con- House For Rent: 5 bedrooms-close to all ditions 10 min walk from WLU. Available amenities, 5 min from University, gas heated, DCDO^^IW.I/V I C |U |P| JgJ September for one year. $1400 per month plus washer/dryer, large driveway/backyard. Iyr t " Jfr utilities. Call 746-7928 after 6pm. lease stalling in May-$260 call Joe 884-5277 JL

HOUSE FOR RENT Summer Sublet 9 5 bedroom, 2 fully equipped kitchens, laundry Great house for 4. Close to school and bus Daisy, facilities, Parking for 4, living rooms (up & route (Marshall), TV. microwave, BBQ, wash- We've tried just about everything the Bismarck downstairs) er/dryer, huge backyard and parking. Utilities Pub has to offer, except for the Off- Track Very clean, close to WLU & U ofW. are very cheap. $185/person. Call Diane or Betting. What do you say? You and me and a $1400/month. Call Shawn @ 886-1227. Jean Ann 886-2462 couple ofponies!! Love Sal. Six bedroom house on Erb St. Large rooms. Summer Sublet: 1 bedroom in a two bedroom Laundry, ample parking. One year lease begin- apartment. Located on Regina St. only 5 min To the Girls ofAqua Marina; Thursday March 2nd ning May or Sept. $140C/month. Jo ann 748- from campus. Lease negotiable/utilities Thanks for a great trip. Happy B-day to Lisa!! Vote 5955 or Greg 888-0258. included. Call 884-6705 for more info. The Guys ofAqua Marina! Kelly Westlake for President

theCord March 1. 1995 23 Ll<\fe JRZZ

- (NO GOVER)

CTIIESOAYS JAM NIGHT jfoT— OPEN BTAGE (NO COVER) WEDNESDAYS BEST IN ALTERNATIVE LIVE MIISIG

/ GETOUTOFTHEMORGUE GET INTO PHIL'S

PHIL'S GRANDSON'S PLACE 220 KING 8T N WATERLOO m~7££s