Quaker Thought and Today
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November 1993 Quaker Thought FRIENDS and Life OURNAL Today Seasons and Silence Spiritual Exercises for Busy Days People vs. Books! the World: Special Sectiou A View From Another Window Among Friends Editor-Manager Vinton Deming Assistant Editor Timothy Drake Closer to God Art Director Barbara Benton hen you first open your copy of the JouRNAL," I enjoy asking readers, Advertising Manager 'what's the first thing you usually read?" I'm always intrigued at how Catherine Frost many tell me they read the issue from back to front- starting with such Circulation and Promotion Nagendran Gulendran things as Milestones, scanning the Classifieds, checking out the brief department Computer Production pieces. ("The Milestones are what I look at first," a reader told me once. "I want to Susan Jordhamo see who's still around!") There are many too who go first to the Forum, who look Secretarial Services for humor, even a few who read this column (my mother, for sure!). Edward Sargent Since very few check out our Masthead in every issue, let me call attention to Bookkeeper James Neveil several staff changes that have occurred this month. First, you will see that Student Intern Associate Editor Melissa Kay Elliott's name is absent. Melissa resigned from the Kate Nash JouRNAL this fall. After nearly seven years on our staff, she will be missed by all of Volunteers us- as a fine writer and editor, and as a valued colleague and F/friend. We wish her Jane Burgess, Emily Conlon, Marguerite Clark well. Tim Drake, who has been assisting with a variety of editing and production Board of Managers 1991-1994: Frank Bjomsgaard, Emily Conlon, tasks the past two years, is our new assistant editor. The newest name to the page is Sam Legg (Clerk,), Parry Jones, Richard Moses Kate Nash, a junior at Earlham College, who is doing her internship at the JoURNAL (Treasurer), Harry Scott, Larry Spears, Robert Sutton, Carolyn Terrell this fall as part of the Great Lakes College Association program. 1992-1995: Phoebe Cottingham, Richard Eldridge Speaking again of readers' preference, may I mention a recent' letter? It scolded (Assistant Clerk), Deborah Fisch, Kitty Harrison, me for not bringing enough controversy to our pages. ("Don't be afraid to stir us up Bernard Haviland, Paul Jolly, Eric Larson, Mary Mangelsdorf, Margery Rubin, David Samuel, a bit," the Friend encouraged.) OK, I'm not. If you scan the Contents page to my Carolyn Sprogell, Wilmer Tjossem, Alice Wiser right, your eye may stop at one title, Elizabeth Claggett-Borne's article on "Facing (Secretary) Up to Sexual Abuse Among Friends." It's sure to be a piece that stirs us up, and 1993-1996: Marguerite Clark, Lee Neff, Mary Ellen Singsen well it should. Honorary Managers "Sexual abuse happens among Quaker families," Elizabeth writes as part of her Eleanor Stabler Clarke, Mildred Binns Young lead. "It is happening now within Quaker communities. We become even farther FRIENDS JOURNAL {ISSN 0016-1322) was from God when we ignore this fact." estab lished in 1955 as the successor to The · Why, some may ask, should FRIENDS JouRNAL devote space to such a topic? Friend ( 1827-1955) and Friends lntelligencer (1844-1955). It is associated with the Religious Sexual abuse is not something most of us enjoy talking about. Frankly, it's Society of Friends. embarrassing. It feels too personal. Shouldn't it be handled quietly and discreetly? • FRIENDS JOURNAL is published monthly by Yes, and no. Friends must show respect and tenderness for all who may be Friends Publishing Corporation, 1501 Cherry St., involved in such incidents. It would be inappropriate to make the JouRNAL a place Philadelphia, PA 19102-1497. Telephone (215) 241-7277. Accepted as second-class postage at where charges of abuse are presented and individuals must defend themselves-and Philadelphia, Pa. and additional mailing offices. we will not. The subject, however, is an important one. I am convinced we must • Subscriptions: one year $21, two years $40. talk about it in open and loving ways. Add $6 per year for postage to countries outside the U.S., Canada, and Mexico. Individual copies One role I expect the JouRNAL to play in the months ahead is to announce $2 each. resources available to those struggling with this difficult issue. Two Friends actively • Information on and assistance with advertising working at the concern are Las Cruces (N.Mex.) Meeting members Anne-Marie is available on request. Appearance of any advertisement does not imply endorsement by and Erik Eriksson. With their meeting's support, they are working to form a FRIENDS JOURNAL. network of Friends, professionals or volunteers, who work with those affected by • Postmaster: send address changes to emotional or physical child abuse of a sexual nature. They call their effort Quaker FRIENDS JouRNAL, 1501 Cherry St., SCAPnet (short for Quaker Sexual Child Abuse Prevention Network). Quaker Philadelphia, PA 19102-1497 • Copyright Cl 1993 by Friends Publishing SCAPnet aims to be a network in which practitioners, researchers, and activists can Corporation. Reprints of articles available at explore paths of cooperation, not only with each other, but also with wider Quaker nominal cost. Permission should be received bodies and Quaker-related organizations. The Erikssons hope the network may lead before reprinting excerpts longer than 200 words. Available in microfilm from University to the creation of a pool of Friends willing to be resources for local or yearly Microfilms International. meetings. Those desiring more information may contact the Erikssons at P.O. Box 7375, Las Cruces, NM 88006-7375; telephone (505)521-4260. PRINTED ON RECYCLED PAPER We invite your articles and letters. I trust that sqch sharing may further a spirit of healing for both the victims of abuse and those who have committed such abuse. As we search together in love, may we be moved closer to God. Moving? Let us update your subscription and address. Write or call: FRIENDS JouRNAL, 1501 Cherry St., Next month in FRIENDs JoURNAL: Philadelphia, PA 19102-1497 An Interview with Johan Maurer of Friends United Meeting (215) 241-7277; Fax (215) 568-1377 How to Start a Youth Group Thoughts About Christmas 2 November 1993 FRIENDS JOURNAL · November 1993 FRIENDS Volume 39, No. 11 JOURNAL Features Departments 7 Seasons and Silence 2 Among Friends Mike Clark As autumn comes, a Friend discovers new meaning. 4 Forum 5 Viewpoint 8 Facing up to Sexual Abuse Elizabeth Claggett-Bome 28 Parents' Corner Within a loving community, healing may occur. 29 Young Friends 10 Spiritual Exercises for Busy Days 31 FCNL Notes Jim Greenley How can one develop a spiritual life in the midst ofdaily 32 Reports business and obligations? 35 News of Friends 13 What We Say 36 Bulletin Board Christine Lundy George Fox's words ·at Ulverston continue to challenge. 37 Calendar 38 Books 14 Living With Dying Leonard H. Cizewski 44 Milestones A brother's death from AIDS deepens a spiritual search. 45 Classified 18 Rapid Population Growth Stan Becker Poetry A leading to travel with a concern may tap Friends' spiritual energy and insights-and lead to new solutions. 16 All Night the Rain C. J. Muchhala 20 People vs. the World Aziz Pabaney Many in the over-populated two-thirds world see the 17 Transformations population issue quite differently. Wendy McVicker 22 The Life of Laura Haviland A Small Request Barbara S. Worden Jean Ducey She worked courageously against the evil ofslavery. Wild Geese 24 That Which Is the Same Madeleine Stephenson Mary Coffin True acceptance is to discover that ofGod within. 25 Assisting Guatemalan Refugees Peg Morton Front Cover: Engraving ofMoses Brown We may not assume things will be better there. We must witness (17 38-183 6) by T. Pollack, after a portrait by our presence. by W J. Harris FRIENDS JOURNAL November 1993 3 Forum Commented the Hawaii Court: "We do category-<>ver 80 years. Alii can say is Toys of violence not believe that trial judges are the ultimate we try to keep active. In News of Friends (FJ July) a request authorities on the subject of Divine Will, I think Elizabeth Vining reports that was made for networking suggestions from and as [the final federal outcome of that Rufus Jones, when a QPE, wrote to the No War Toys Merit Award Project. case] amply demonstrates, constitutional someone: "I'm getting terribly old but can Coincidentally, perhaps, an advertisement law may mandate, like it or not, that still conjugate the verb 'to eat' !" ran in the 6/27 Washington Post Magazine customs change with an evolving social Keith Smiley in which Charles Lazarus, CEO ofToys order." Mohonk Mountain House "R" Us, says that the selling of the same Same-gender couples and many of our Mohonk, NY 12561 toys at their stores all over the world Friends meetings have, in recent years, creates a common thread among all dealt with the issues of same-gender As a QPS reader, I was very interested children. To quote from the advertisement: marriage. Those issues become both more in the editor's comments regarding some of " ... if all these kids are playing with the liberated and a bit more complex once legal the communication difficulties we have same toys, how could they ever possibly recognition is involved. This is because any with young people. I was particularly fight with each other? There's a common same-gender couple may come to Hawaii struck by the sentence, "What could life thread about how they grow up and what once legalization occurs they play with .... It makes for one and get a marriage license world." that they could then take If you feel so called, please join us in home.