By Charlie Lovett

Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights should be addressed to Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., PO Box 4267, Englewood, CO 80155.

All rights to this play—including but not limited to amateur, professional, radio broadcast, television, motion picture, public reading and translation into foreign languages—are controlled by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., without whose permission no performance, reading or presentation of any kind in whole or in part may be given.

These rights are fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America and of all countries covered by the Universal Copyright Convention or with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations, including Canada, Mexico, Australia and all nations of the United Kingdom.

COPYING OR REPRODUCING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK IN ANY MANNER IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW.

On all programs, printing and advertising, the following information must appear: 1. The full name of the play 2. The full name of the playwright 3. The following notice: “Produced by special arrangement with Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., Englewood, Colorado” SUPERCOMICS By CHARLIE LOVETT

CAST OF CHARACTERS (In order of speaking) # of lines BOBBIE ...... clown 26 BERNIE ...... worker at a rubber chicken 27 factory PAT SHAGGY-DOG-STORY ...... reporter for “The Daily Groaner” 40 COMMISSIONER JORDAN ...... police commissioner of 27 Comedyville MCMANN ...... special assistant to the mayor 30 CURLY ...... pratfall artist 20 ANDY STAND-UP ...... comedian 42 CASEY CORNBALL ...... corny comedian 50 MAYOR ...... leader of Comedyville 44 MO ...... pratfall artist 27 DREW DAVIDSON ...... photographer for “The Daily 67 Groaner” GROANER ...... editor of “The Daily Groaner” 28 LEE VAUDEVILLE ...... ex-vaudevillian on “The Daily 28 Groaner” staff GLUM GOBSMACKER ...... special assistant to Vlad 44 SOLEMN ...... minion of Vlad 47 VLAD ...... evil genius 72 MARTY CHUZZLEWIT...... emcee at the Laugh Riot 37 Comedy Club P.G. GRUFFMAN ...... Hollywood producer 17

FLEXIBLE CASTING Although the character VLAD is male, he may be played with equal effectiveness by either a male or female actor. All other characters are written to be either male or female.

ii PHOTOCOPYING THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL COPYRIGHT LAWS For preview only SETTING TIME: The present. PLACE: The streets of Comedyville, the Laugh Riot Club and an offi ce at “The Daily Groaner.” Utilizing area staging, all three locations are visible onstage for the entire play. Comic book-style buildings STAGE RIGHT feature a sign for “The Daily Groaner.” The offi ce at “The Daily Groaner” FORESTAGE RIGHT consists of a small desk with a chair, with another chair and a wastebasket next to it. CENTER STAGE is the marquee of the Laugh Riot Comedy Club. During the scenes at the Laugh Riot Club, a microphone with stand and chairs are brought on. These scenes are played with the comics on a small platform CENTER STAGE and the Laugh Riot audience in chairs facing the comics. (Alternatively, the Laugh Riot audience can be seated in the real audience to make room for Mo and Curly’s slapstick routine.) DOWN CENTER there is a gym mat spread out on the fl oor. This area represents a street. STAGE LEFT is a sign reading “Trench Coat Sale.” There may be a drum set (or just a snare drum) FORESTAGE LEFT, if the production uses a live “rim shot” effect. (NOTE: Any available cast member may be assigned the job of drummer as needed throughout the show.) Along the UP CENTER wall is a backdrop with the skyline of Comedyville.

SYNOPSIS OF SCENES Scene One: A street in Comedyville Friday morning. Scene Two: The newsroom of “The Daily Groaner” immediately following. Scene Three: A street in Comedyville that night. Scene Four: The Laugh Riot Comedy Club, immediately following. Scene Five: A street, Saturday morning. Scene Six: The newsroom, a few minutes later. Scene Seven: A street in Seriousburg (formerly Comedyville), that afternoon. Scene Eight: The Laugh Riot, later that day. Scene Nine: A street in Seriousburg, the next day. Scene Ten: The Laugh Riot, later that day. Scene Eleven: A street in Seriousburg, Monday afternoon. Scene Twelve: The Laugh Riot, a few moments later. Scene Thirteen: A street in Comedyville, a few months later.

iii For preview only Supercomics - Set Design

iv For preview only SUPERCOMICS

Scene One 1 LIGHTS UP: A street in Comedyville Friday morning. BOBBIE ENTERS RIGHT wearing a clown suit and colorful wig. BERNIE ENTERS LEFT wearing coveralls and carrying rubber chickens. BOBBIE: Good morning, Bernie. 5 BERNIE: Good morning, Bobbie. BOBBIE: Love the suit. BERNIE: Love the hair. BOBBIE: How’s work at the factory? BERNIE: Oh, you know how it is in the rubber chicken business—signs 10 of fowl play everywhere you look. How about you? BOBBIE: We went to work yesterday, 26 of us in the back of a Smart Car, which was fi ne. When we got there, we all hit each other in the face with pies, which was fi ne. Then we put on giant shoes and red noses and makeup, which was fi ne. But the rest of the day nobody 15 got any work done. BERNIE: Why not? BOBBIE: Everyone was just clowning around. BERNIE: Well, I guess it serves us right for living in Comedyville. BOBBIE: I wouldn’t live anyplace else. You going to the Laugh Riot 20 tonight? BERNIE: I live in Comedyville. There’s no way I’d miss Friday night at the Laugh Riot. BOBBIE: Well, keep laughing. BERNIE: No, you keep laughing. (EXITS LEFT. BOBBIE EXITS RIGHT.) 25 PAT: (ENTERS LEFT and CURLY ENTERS RIGHT. COMMISSIONER JORDAN ENTERS RIGHT with MCMANN.) Good morning, Commissioner Jordan. Something special going on? COMMISSIONER: A big speech by the mayor. MCMANN: Here comes the press. 30 CURLY: And the rest of the town, too, by the looks of it. (The rest of the CAST, except the MAYOR, ENTERS and crowds around MCMANN and COMMISSIONER, who stand on the platform CENTER. DREW has a camera around his neck. VLAD lurks at the edge of the CROWD in a black cape.) 35 MCMANN: Come on, now, folks. Make some space for the mayor. He has a major announcement to make. COMMISSIONER: That’s it. Back up, folks. The mayor will be here any minute, so no funny business.

1 For preview only 1 ANDY: What do you mean no funny business? This is Comedyville! (General laughter from the CROWD.) CASEY: Say, how many police commissioners does it take to screw in a light bulb? 5 CURLY: The mayor’s coming, the mayor’s coming. (General sounds of excitement.) MCMANN: (Speaks like Ed McMahon of “The Tonight Show” [or a sportscaster].) Laaaadies and Gentlemen. Welcome to this morning’s big speech by the mayor of Comedyville. This morning 10 the mayor will be making a major announcement about the future of Comedyville. And now, the person who laughed all the way to city hall, heeeeeeeeere’s the mayor! MAYOR: (CROWD cheers as the MAYOR ENTERS RIGHT, wearing an outrageous outfi t with a colorful tie and a [squirting] lapel fl ower. He 15 looks like a cross between a politician and a circus clown.) Good morning, Comedyville! ALL: (Except VLAD.) Good morning, Mayor! MAYOR: Hey, McMann, did you know that last night I slept on a corduroy pillow? 20 MCMANN: You slept on a corduroy pillow? MAYOR: (Throughout the script the “rim shot” sound effect is indicated by an *.) That’s right, and this morning it’s making headlines!* (General laughter.) You know what I did yesterday? MCMANN: What did you do yesterday? 25 MAYOR: I went downtown and got a new car for my mom. MCMANN: You got a new car for your mom? MAYOR: Yes. I tell you, it was the best trade I ever made.* (More laughter.) COMMISSIONER: Didn’t you have an announcement to make? I can’t 30 stop traffi c all day. CASEY: With a face like that, I don’t see why not.* (Laughter.) MAYOR: Commissioner Jordan is right. Ladies and gentleman, you all know that in Comedyville, nothing is more important than laughter. From the rubber chicken factory to the clown school to the Laugh Riot 35 Club, comedy is the lifeblood of this town. But you also know that our economy is a bit rocky. Rubber chicken sales are down, clowns are unemployed and the Knock-Knock family is, well, they’re… MO: They’re having some hard knocks!* (Laughter.) MAYOR: What we need to save Comedyville is a way to export our 40 comedy. To do that, I’ve invited a big Hollywood producer to town this weekend. Over the weekend, Comedyville will also sponsor its

2 PHOTOCOPYING THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL COPYRIGHT LAWS For preview only 1 fi rst annual comedy festival. (Cheers from the CROWD.) The festival will kick off tonight at the Laugh Riot and will begin the economic revival of Comedyville. Until then, everybody keep laughing. CROWD: No, you keep laughing! (The CROWD drifts OFF LEFT and 5 RIGHT after cheering. DREW, COMMISSIONER, MCMANN and MAYOR remain.) MCMANN: Great speech, Mayor. Now we’ve got to get you over to the unveiling of the statue of the largely forgotten Harold Lloyd. MAYOR: Who was Harold Lloyd again? 10 MCMANN: I don’t know. I’ve largely forgotten. MAYOR: Okay, but before we go, I want you to take a look at this new fl ower I’ve got. (Indicates the lapel fl ower.) MCMANN: What kind of fl ower is it? MAYOR: This kind. (Squirts MCMANN in the face with the fl ower.) 15 MCMANN: (Wipes off face.) That’s a good one. You’re a funny guy. MAYOR: That’s why I’m the mayor. (He and MCMANN EXIT RIGHT.) DREW: Say, you’re the police commissioner, right? COMMISSIONER: That’s right. Commissioner Jordan. DREW: Can you tell me why everybody around here always says “keep 20 laughing”? COMMISSIONER: You must be new around here. DREW: Yeah, I just fl ew in from Metropolis. My name’s Drew Davidson. I’m the new photographer for “The Daily Groaner.” COMMISSIONER: Well, “keep laughing” is kind of like the offi cial 25 good-bye of Comedyville. DREW: Keep laughing, huh? COMMISSIONER: That’s right. After all, this is Comedyville. Welcome to town. DREW: Can I ask you another question? 30 COMMISSIONER: Sure. DREW: (Indicates a gym mat on the stage fl oor.) Why is there a tumbling mat in the middle of the street? COMMISSIONER: Oh, that’s for pratfalls. CASEY’S VOICE: (From OFFSTAGE.) Whooo woooo! 35 COMMISSIONER: (Yells OFF to CASEY.) Not catcalls, pratfalls. DREW: I beg your pardon? COMMISSIONER: Pratfalls. You know, slapstick comedy. (MO ENTERS RIGHT with an armful of papers.) Here, I’ll show you. (Puts out a foot and trips MO, who takes an elaborate fall onto the mat and 40 spills the papers. COMMISSIONER laughs.)

3 For preview only 1 DREW: Hey, what did you do that for?! (To MO.) Are you okay? MO: (Gets up and gathers papers as he replies.) Of course I’m okay. I just took a pratfall, that’s all. And a pretty good one, too. COMMISSIONER: That was hilarious! 5 DREW: You mean you did that on purpose? MO: You’re not from around here, are you? COMMISSIONER: (Gestures toward DREW.) He’s new in town. MO: (Pats DREW on the back.) It’s okay. You’ll catch on soon. (To COMMISSIONER.) Keep laughing. (EXITS LEFT with the now gathered 10 up papers.) COMMISSIONER: No, you keep laughing. (Starts to EXIT RIGHT, then turns to DREW.) So, you gonna work for “The Daily Groaner”? DREW: That’s right. COMMISSIONER: Well, here comes one of your new co-workers. Good 15 luck at the job. And remember… DREW: Yeah? COMMISSIONER: Keep laughing. (EXITS.) PAT: (ENTERS RIGHT, dressed in something shaggy.) Hey, you must be our new photographer. 20 DREW: That’s right. My name’s Drew Davidson. PAT: Drew Davidson? You’re not an evil genius, are you? DREW: No. Why do you ask? PAT: It’s just that evil geniuses always have names with… what do you call it… alliteration. (This last word sounds almost like a sneeze.) 25 DREW: Bless you. PAT: You know, the Green Goblin, Lex Luthor. Anyway, I’m a reporter for “The Groaner.” My name’s Pat Shaggy-Dog-Story, and I’ll be showing you— DREW: Excuse me, did you say your name was Pat Shaggy-Dog-Story? 30 PAT: That’s right. DREW: Isn’t that sort of a strange name? PAT: I don’t think so. I know a lot of people named Pat. DREW: No, not the Pat part. I meant the Shaggy-Dog-Story part. PAT: You’re not from around here, are you? 35 DREW: People keep asking me that. I’m from Gotham City, by way of Metropolis. PAT: You’ve got a little bit to learn about Comedyville. Take our names, for instance. Every family in Comedyville is named after a kind of humor. Mine is the Shaggy-Dog-Story family.

4 For preview only 1 DREW: What’s a shaggy dog story? (GROANER ENTERS LEFT, exuding an air of the boss, but dressed in loud, clashing colors.) PAT: Oh, this is going to be a long day. A shaggy dog story is a long story with lots of irrelevant details and a not particularly funny 5 ending. GROANER: (Joshing.) Sort of like the stories you write, eh, Pat? PAT: Right you are, Chief. GROANER: So, who’s the greenhorn? PAT: Chief, I’d like you to meet the new photographer, Drew Davidson. 10 Drew, this is our editor-in-chief, Chief Groaner. GROANER: Say, you’re not an evil genius are you? PAT: No, sir, it’s just alliteration. GROANER: Bless you. I’m pleased to meet you, kid. DREW: Likewise, Editor Groaner. 15 GROANER: (Squeezes DREW’S hand with a fi rm grip.) Call me Chief. DREW: Uhm… Boss… I mean, Chief… GROANER: What is it, kid? DREW: Could you maybe… let go of my hand? GROANER: Story meeting in ten minutes, Pat. Kid, that’s a nice grip 20 you got there, but there’s something you should know. DREW: (In pain.) What’s that, Boss… I mean, Chief? GROANER: That’s not my hand. (Releases the rubber hand that DREW has been shaking, and to DREW’S horror, the hand comes off. GROANER laughs.) 25 PAT: That was a good one, Chief. I gotta hand it to you. GROANER: You gotta hand it to me? (Points at DREW.) I had to hand it to Drew! (EXITS RIGHT, laughing.) VAUDEVILLE: (Shuffl es IN LEFT with a cane, mumbling. VAUDEVILLE is stooped and gray-haired.) That’s the last time I leave my slapstick 30 on the typewriter. PAT: Good morning, Vaudeville. I’d like you to meet our new photographer, Drew Davidson. VAUDEVILLE: (Notices the other two for the fi rst time.) How’s that? PAT: This is Drew Davidson, our new photographer. 35 VAUDEVILLE: Did you steal my slapstick? PAT: No, Vaudeville, Drew didn’t steal your slapstick. VAUDEVILLE: Why can’t people leave my slapstick alone? It’s all I ask. DREW: (Holds out a hand.) It’s a pleasure.

5 For preview only 1 VAUDEVILLE: How’s that? DREW: I said, it’s a pleasure. VAUDEVILLE: A treasure? There’s no treasure around here. This is a newspaper building. 5 PAT: (Quietly to DREW.) Ninety years old and a little deaf. VAUDEVILLE: What’s on my left? PAT: (Much louder now.) We have a meeting at the offi ce in a few minutes. We just saw Chief Groaner. VAUDEVILLE: No, I will not give you a cheap loaner. (Begins to shuffl e 10 off.) DREW: It was a pleasure. VAUDEVILLE: (Does not look back.) What are you saying, that the chief’s some kind of pirate or something? Can’t think why else there’d be a treasure in the newsroom. (EXITS RIGHT.) 15 PAT: That was Lee Vaudeville. He used to be the funniest act in town, but then vaudeville went out of style. I guess I’d be bitter, too. He spends most of his time looking for missing slapstick and writing articles about how vaudeville is on the way back. DREW: So his act’s not funny anymore? 20 PAT: Well, I don’t know. Thinking Chief Groaner is a pirate sure beats a shaggy dog story. DREW: I still don’t understand what a shaggy dog story is. PAT: Come on. I’ll tell you one on the way upstairs. (They begin to EXIT RIGHT.) There were these three Boy Scouts spending the 25 night in three different rooms at the Holiday Inn. In the middle of the night, the fi rst boy scout… (The voice fades away as they EXIT.) GOBSMACKER: (ENTERS LEFT as SOLEMN ENTERS RIGHT. Unlike the other residents of Comedyville, they both wear dark suits and 30 conservative ties and appear utterly humorless.) Are you Solemn? SOLEMN: (Looks at a piece of paper.) Yeah. Are you Glum? GOBSMACKER: Actually, Glum is my fi rst name. I’m Gobsmacker. (Looks over SOLEMN.) Wow. You really don’t look like you belong in Comedyville. 35 SOLEMN: You’re not exactly dressed like a clown yourself. GOBSMACKER: That’s why I took this job. If you’re as humorless as you look, you’re gonna love working for an evil genius who’s hatching a diabolical plan against Comedyville. SOLEMN: Just as long as there are good insurance benefi ts. 40 GOBSMACKER: Major medical, but no dental.

6 PHOTOCOPYING THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL COPYRIGHT LAWS For preview only 1 SOLEMN: Why is our boss an evil genius, anyway? GOBSMACKER: What do you mean? SOLEMN: Don’t most evil geniuses have some dark secret in their past or some grudge handed down from their parents? 5 GOBSMACKER: As far as I know, the only thing he has handed down from his parents is a trench coat factory and a warehouse full of existential philosophy books he inherited from his father. SOLEMN: (Sarcastic.) Gee, he must be making a fortune here in Comedyville. 10 GOBSMACKER: There is one thing you should know before we meet him, though. He has an obsession with names. SOLEMN: Oh? GOBSMACKER: He wants to call you “Minion.” SOLEMN: (Upset.) What? 15 GOBSMACKER: Just roll with it, okay. After all, it’s a job. SOLEMN: But why do I have to be “Minion”? Why couldn’t I be “Sidekick”? GOBSMACKER: Only superheroes have sidekicks—evil geniuses have minions. 20 SOLEMN: What does he call you? GOBSMACKER: He’s supposed to call me Gobsmacker, but he doesn’t always get it quite right. Shhh. Here he comes. VLAD: (ENTERS LEFT, wearing a full-length black cape and the dark medieval garb of an evil genius.) Ah, Lipsmacker. (Looks at 25 SOLEMN.) I see you have found me the perfect minion—humorless and drab. GOBSMACKER: Yes, sir. This is Solemn… I mean, Minion. VLAD: (Extends a hand and then pulls it back before SOLEMN can shake it.) It is your honor to meet me. I am Vladimir von Vladovich of 30 Vladersburg, but my enemies call me… (LOUD, DEEP BREATHING, à la Darth Vader, is heard over the sound system.) …Vlad the Exhaler. SOLEMN: What do your friends call you? VLAD: I have no friends. You may call me Vladimir von Vladovich. SOLEMN: That’s kind of hard to say with all that… that… 35 GOBSMACKER: Alliteration. SOLEMN: Bless you. VLAD: Of course, I have alliteration. All evil geniuses have alliteration. SOLEMN: What about Attila the Hun? 40 GOBSMACKER: Evil, but not a genius.

7 For preview only 1 SOLEMN: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart? GOBSMACKER: A genius, but not evil. SOLEMN: Captain Kangaroo? VLAD: (Gets frustrated.) Alliterative, but neither evil nor a genius! No, 5 my friends— SOLEMN: I thought you didn’t have any friends. VLAD: Interrupt me again and you’ll be out of a job. SOLEMN: It wouldn’t be that great a loss. It’s not like you have a dental plan. 10 VLAD: As I was saying, my name is alliterative in the tradition of the truly great evil geniuses of history. The Green Goblin, Doctor Doom, and, of course, the greatest of all—present company excluded—Lex Luthor. SOLEMN/GOBSMACKER: (Bow heads with reverence.) Lex Luthor. 15 VLAD: And that is why I am called Vladimir von Vladovich of Vladersburg. SOLEMN: It sounds Russian. VLAD: Of course it sounds Russian. I am from the former Soviet Republic of Evilgeniusistan. 20 GOBSMACKER: There’s no such place. VLAD: (Threatens.) What did you say, Clockstopper? GOBSMACKER: Actually, come to think of it, I saw a documentary about Evilgeniusistan on the National Geographic Channel just the other day. 25 VLAD: I am not surprised. We are known for our wildlife. SOLEMN: Not for your evil geniuses? VLAD: No. Strangely enough, I am the ﬁ rst evil genius ever to emerge from Evilgeniusistan. GOBSMACKER: Lex Luthor was from New Jersey. 30 VLAD: And now, with my overly obtuse minion, Minion, and my expertly efﬁ cient assistant, Termpaper, I am ready to launch my evil plan against Comedyville. SOLEMN: Do I have to be called Minion? VLAD: Names are important. I think I’ve made that clear. In fact, 35 Minion is such a perfect minion’s name, I’m surprised it wasn’t used by the great… Lex Luthor. SOLEMN/GOBSMACKER: (Bow heads with reverence.) Lex Luthor. VLAD: (Breaks the reverential silence.) Now, let us adjourn to my fortress of solitude to discuss the dastardly and diabolical details 40 of my pernicious plan.

8 For preview only 1 SOLEMN: What is the plan, exactly? VLAD: (Through clenched teeth after an awkward pause.) I don’t have one yet. GOBSMACKER: I beg your pardon? 5 VLAD: (Yells.) I don’t have one yet. Okay, Stepladder? I’m an evil genius with no plan. What do you want from me? Now let’s just go back to the fortress of solitude and try to think of something. (EXITS LEFT in a huff.) SOLEMN: Where is this fortress of solitude he keeps talking about? 10 GOBSMACKER: It’s a room in his apartment with some posters of Lex Luthor on the wall, but don’t say anything to him about it. You see how he gets. (He and SOLEMN EXIT LEFT. BLACKOUT.) End of Scene One

Scene Two LIGHTS UP: The newsroom of “The Daily Groaner” immediately following. VAUDEVILLE is sleeping at the desk FORESTAGE RIGHT. PAT 15 and DREW ENTER FORESTAGE RIGHT. PAT: …so in the morning the three Boy Scouts go down to breakfast… DREW: Does this story have a point? You’ve been telling it for the past ten minutes and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. 20 PAT: I told you, it’s a shaggy dog story. So, anyway, two of the Boy Scouts order Corn Flakes and one orders Rice Krispies. GROANER: (ENTERS FORESTAGE RIGHT.) And the moral of the story is that two out of three Boy Scouts prefer Corn Flakes to Rice Krispies. 25 VAUDEVILLE: (Barely lifts his head.) Not funny. GROANER: Of course it’s not funny, it’s a shaggy dog story. It’s funny because it’s not funny. DREW: I don’t get it. GROANER: Okay, folks, it’s time to write some headlines. What have 30 you got? PAT: (Aside to DREW.) Now you’ll see why we call the boss Chief Groaner. VAUDEVILLE: I’m working on a story about problems with the new law about undertakers. 35 GROANER: “Funeral Regulations Face Stiff Opposition.” (After each headline the OTHERS all groan.)

9 End of Script Sample PRODUCTION NOTES

PROPERTIES ONSTAGE: Sign reading “The Daily Groaner,” theater marquee reading “The Laugh Riot Comedy Club,” sign reading “Trench Coat Sale,” platform, desk, two chairs, wastebasket, drum set or single snare drum, gym mat. BROUGHT ON, Scene One: Rubber chickens (BERNIE) Squirting lapel ﬂ ower (MAYOR) Camera and optional equipment (DREW) Stack of papers (MO) Rubber hand (GROANER) BROUGHT ON, Scene Three: Flyer (SOLEMN) BROUGHT ON, Scene Four: Chairs, microphone and stand [in place for all scenes at Laugh Riot Comedy Club] Plank, block of wood, bucket full of silver streamers (MO, CURLY) Cane (MO) Giant foam hand (CASEY) BROUGHT ON, Scene Five: Thick, heavy book (BERNIE, BOBBIE) BROUGHT ON, Scene Six: Flyer (DREW) BROUGHT ON, Scene Eight: Chairs, microphone and stand Stack of “Hello My Name Is” nametags (DREW) BROUGHT ON, Scene Ten: Chairs, microphone and stand BROUGHT ON, Scene Twelve: Chairs, microphone and stand Ropes (MO, CURLY) Slapstick (VAUDEVILLE) Squirting lapel ﬂ ower (MAYOR) BROUGHT ON, Scene Thirteen: Chairs, microphone and stand Slapstick (VAUDEVILLE) Electric fan (GOBSMACKER)

35 For preview only EFFECTS Either a live or recorded “rim shot” effect. Throughout the script the rim shot is indicated by an asterisk (*). If the production is using a drum set or snare, any cast member who is available in each instance can make the sound effect. Deep breathing, à la Darth Vader, for Vlad the Exhaler; ticking clock; circus music during MO and CURLY’S entrance in Scene Four and at the end of Scene Thirteen; offstage crashes, explosion; heroic music for the SUPERCOMICS. Flash of light, blue light in Scene Four; mysterious lighting to mark the triumphant arrival of the SUPERCOMICS at the end of Scene Nine. Optional fog machine in Scene Four.

COSTUMING BOBBIE wears a clown suit and a colorful wig. BERNIE wears coveralls. When Comedyville loses its humor, they wear trench coats over their costumes. PAT may wear very baggy, shaggy clothing. MAYOR wears an outrageous outﬁ t with a colorful tie. He or she looks like a cross between a politician and a circus clown. CURLY, MO, CASEY and ANDY wear superhero costumes and capes when they’re the SUPERCOMICS. DREW wears a tweed jacket and a fedora or similar type of hat. He carries a large camera (an old-fashioned camera with a large ﬂ ash bulb would work well). GROANER wears very loud, clashing, colorful clothing. VAUDEVILLE is an old man with gray hair, glasses and a cane. GOBSMACKER and SOLEMN are conservatively dressed in dark suits and ties. VLAD wears dark, possibly “medieval” clothing and a cape to appear evil and sinister.

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