The Student Newspaper of ImperiaEuxml College Nol017 20JAN95 Election Question

BY ANDREW TSENG

The first signs of an impending ICU sabbatical elections fiasco appeared this week after it was found that vital equipment would not be available. ICU is hoping to have ten ballot boxes located around the South Kensington campus; from previous years' voting, this appears to have been the optimum number of boxes. However, College will only provide seven swipe card readers. Last year, Andrew Wensley, then ICU President, made arrange- ments with college for the use of seven readers. It was suggested 'It is a small world', writes Ivan Chan. So much so that the Overseas Societies Committee (OSC) could fit most of that ICU approach college at a world in the tiny space of the JCR. Next week is OSC's International Week, though some societies can already later date if any more were found in the JCR! Coincidentally, 'Malaysian Night' is taking place tomorrow. "It has slightly different look than required. But on further year", said Henry Sebas, Editor of Malaysian Society's Magazine. "We're concentrating more on the music this investigation by Lucy Chothia, The cost is £8.50 and includes a 'delicious dinner' before the show. ICU President, the three machines required would take another twelve weeks to arrive and at a cost of £17,000 each. With elections due to take place Exam Papers Lost in six weeks, the ICU executive are frantically trying to arrive at BY ANDREW TSENG shortly before Christmas. ment of Aeronautical Engin- a workable solution. However, they have still not eering, the exams were to have Possibilities discussed at Fourth year Aeronautical been received by the external been taken after the Christmas this week's ICU Executive Engineering students are taking examiners, having apparently recess. Committee meeting include the it easy this week after their exam been lost during the Christmas It is unclear as to what issuing of one-off voting passes papers were lost. They will have festivities. would have happened if summer to all students, and the issuing of to take their exams at the end of Under University of London papers were lost. Professor Peter ICU cards to all first and second February instead, shortly before regulations the department had Bearman, Head of the Depart- year students. But any procedure they leave on industrial no option but to cancel the ment of Aeronautical Engin- which requires the sending out placements. examinations, giving fourth year eering, commented: "I don't of thousands of pieces of paper is The papers, due to be taken students a brief respite from the know what you'd do then, jump rigours of academic stress. out of the window or (continued on page two) during the first week of term, were sent using the Royal Mail Fortunately for the Depart- something."

Q news one&two&three editorial&credits three incoming five the s-files seven xtra

curricular: eight cluedUp nine backchat: Peter Hain MP eleven feature: One hundred

years after the destruction of Imperial twelve&thirteen feature: an conference with the

vampire makyr Neil Jordan fourteen catstale: tea for one fifteen standby

sixteen&seventeen&eighteen sevendayguide twenty&twentyone sport twentyfour Q News Fascism Crackdown Student

BY RACHEL WALTERS 3-5 callers a day to the new line. anti-fascism campaign, the Speaking to FELIX, Liz accumulated information will be Fraud In an attempt to combat Lanka from the NUS explained used to draw attention to the incidents of fascism on how the service works: "If a scale of the problem on campuses BY RACHEL WALTERS university campuses, the student calls up to report an throughout the country. National Union of Students has incident of fascism, such as Emphasising that the service Universities nationwide have set up a 24 hour phoneline, offensive graffiti, we can give did not exist to put pressure on been asked to increase checks on 'Campuswatch'. advice on how to get rid of it and student unions, she said that students as reports of grant fraud The hot-line gives a give information on how to they hoped to provide an on a 'massive' scale have recorded message inviting change policy in their student environment where students emerged. students to report graffiti, unions so that all graffiti is could air problems in The Universities and offensive leafleting and attacks. removed as soon as possible." confidence. Colleges Admissions Service Callers are asked to give details Ms Lanka said that whilst Although Imperial is not an (UCAS) has identified 700 fake of the location and nature of the they hoped to be able to offer affiliated member of the NUS, applications in the past year as incident, along with details of helpful counselling and advice, they have said that calls would fraudsters attempted to obtain their student union so that the the service was primarily be welcomed from students at the necessary paperwork to get complaint can be followed up. designed as a monitoring service. IC. The number to call is (0426) grants and student loans. These The NUS say that they have had As part of the continuing NUS 942826. could have netted £1.5 million in grants alone, and UCAS believes that there may be thousands more illegal applications going undetected. Council to Lobby MPs Describing the fraud as 'big business', Tony Higgins, Chief BY ANDREW TSENG Though only part of the student concerns and the Executive of UCAS, said: 'An University of London, the suggestion was thrown out. individual will register at Imperial College Union (ICU) Ancients Campaign has found Tuesday's Council meeting, perhaps half a dozen universities Council has voted its members to that they got a better response the first since the Governing on the same day and then collect write to their MPs highlighting when going straight to Colleges Body passed most of the new the grant. They have computer student difficulties. The call instead of through the constitution, brings to an end equipment producing high comes two weeks before the University of London Union. one and half years of quality examination and birth House of Commons is to debate Presenting the motion to constitutional change in ICU. certificates.' He also pointed out student hardship. ICU Council last Tuesday, Ms The 'Mary's Amendment' was that universities themselves Lucy Chothia, ICU Chothia suggested that Council passed by an overwhelming stood to gain from the fraud, as President, was approached by the members also bring the rising majority. Claire Moloney, they would end up receiving President of the Edinburgh prices of the London speaking at Council, said: "We tuition fees for students that did University Students' Union, on Underground to the attention of saw the amendment before it not attend. behalf of the Ancients MPs. She hoped that London went to the Governing Body and The problem is known to Campaign, asking students to Underground might consider were happy with it." Council, have originated in London, but write to MPs, before the issue is offering student discounts on whose membership is very it is not clear whether Imperial debated in the Commons. monthly or weekly travelcards. similar to the ICU Council that has been subject to any The Ancients Campaign is a However, Council thought that existed two years ago, replaces fabricated applications. pressure group whose member- discussing the London the Union General Meeting as a In a separate development, ship comprises all those univer- Underground would take once monthly, sovereign body of the beleaguered Student Loans sities established before 1960. attention away from other ICU. Company (SLC) has come in for further attack. Already under official investigation for (elections continues from page one)elections . a joint ICU / college security malpractice, the remit of the The problems stem from the card, whilst new ICU cards are inquiry has been extended to likely to be difficult. "The merging of the ICU card and issued every year for everyone include allegations of corruption. logistics are a nightmare," college security pass. Introduced else. Ron Harrison, the former chief commented Dan Look, Deputy by Rick Bilby, Deputy President St Mary's Hospital Medical executive recently replaced by President (Finance & Services). from 1992-1993, the move was School students will be ex-Imperial rector Sir Eric Ash, "The only sensible option seems seen as a way to reduce the unaffected by the trauma at is thought to have come in for to me to use the swipe card administrative burden on ICU South Kensington. Due to personal criticism. Last year system as efficiently as possible." staff, although some cynics saw it incompatible swipe card systems claims emerged that he had However, the decision will be as a way to safeguard ICU in the at the South Kensington and spent £600 on whisky for the made by the elections comm- run up to Government reforms Paddington campuses, St Mary's boardroom. However, company ittee, a subcommittee of ICU of student unions. The result has students have been issued with officials have insisted that the Council who have full res- been that all students arriving at separate ICU cards which will be bills were part of legitimate ponsibility over the forthcoming Imperial from October 1993 have hole-punched at ballot boxes. corporate entertainment.

lilB FELIX 20JMI95 News and Editorial Imperial College Top Funded

BY ANDREW LONG by assessing each university in remarkable variation in universities, but it will be 15-20 15 subject groups. Following the financing levels within specific years before the current range Imperial students have the most publication of their latest subjects. While each of our drops to within 5% of the funding, according to a report in assessment, HEFCE have come engineers rake in a most average. Commenting on the last week's Times Higher under fire for using a seemingly welcome £2738, Bournemouth situation, Peter Knight, Vice - Education Supplement. IC, unfair system. Critics say that it engineers are allocated just Chancellor of the University of receives £404 per student above is difficult to gauge the real size £1362 per student. Central England, described the the average level of support, £71 of the discrepancies, as The figures are drawing strategy as, 'one of HEFCE's less more per student than 2nd universities teaching pred- considerable censure from the dynamic policies'. placed Oxford and a massive ominantly science and tech- universities which appear at the Speculation within IC is that £998 more per student than nology courses are clearly going bottom of the table. HEFCE is impoverished Imperial students Luton. to receive more funding than apparently attempting to narrow will be considerably consoled, The Higher Education those which centre on the the range of funding by applying knowing that the college receives Funding Council for England humanities. harsher efficiency criteria to the such great sums of cash on their (HEFCE), regulates the funding Nonetheless, there is a more generously funded behalf.

unbeatable column concept or a my sun sets. Surely he'd be Situation Vacant e

On Monday I decided to increase enthusiastic ear towards all starting a business with me at the commitments. It would be the number of pages to twenty suggestions - and have a few end of the year. especially excellent if the four which was possibly over- ideas I'd like to see achieved if A Mcjob if ever there was stretching our second week of anyone feels they'd like to write. one. prospective candidate term capabilities. (Careful Come in and make a change. had his/her own ideas as inspection of the newspaper The Veal Deal to how things should be before you will reveal that any Owain's Curse So people are sitting down in done and reads Time Out page increase must occur in I think I may have a gift for front of lorries to save veal calves increments of four). It's a FELIX bringing out the worst in people. are they? Does anyone else find it cover to cover! Please editor's worst dilemma - jump or Consider my flatmates. All disturbing the lengths the British come to the office cut? Being a brave lad I jumped. extremely able and intelligent public will go to to be the most (Northwest Beit Quad) for Thanks fate. This week news people. All completely clueless as hypocritical nation on Earth? A was largely elsewhere and if sport to what they will be doing next French politician apparently a warm welcome or phone happened we didn't hear about it. year. smirked with a sigh of 'Ah, those 58072 and ask for Owain. An article was cut at the last The first to suffer was 'PD'. British', when told of our sudden minute and the white space piled PD had a promising career in horror at the treatment of the up. To top it all, the collator (the front of him as a capitalist and calves. I have nothing against Credits campaigning for animal rights machine that folds and staples) is materialist: the future looked Editor Owain Bennallack broken and the supposedly bright. Foolishly in a moment of but couldn't the campaigns Printer Andy Thompson couriered part replacement that weakness I read him 'Aubade' by become a little less erratic? At Business Manager Tim Bavister our skilled technicians (ie. a Philip Larken - a mature least the continentals seem to Advertising Manager Helen Randall postgrad with a talent for taking adolescent's poem about death have some consistency in their Editorial Team things apart, and an optimistic and pointlessness. "It's all treatment of animals. Art & Literature Jon Jordan view towards his re-assembly pointless," cries PD. "I don't It is well known that Hitler Cinema Wei Lee abilities) eagerly await is yet to want a high powered job - I just was a vegetarian: I wonder Clubs, Societies & Union Piers Daniell arrive. want a job as a cinema whether the Germans and Columns Marcus Alexander If this issue reaches you attendant." Scandinavians also consider Features Kate Cox without staples I fear there has I met JJ last year in this themselves to be the kindest Layout and Design Baker & Dias been a motorway collision of office. As well as taking my own nation to animals. There is an old Music Vik Bansal Tseng & Rachel Walters some sort. life down a dubious course, my theory in art that the English News Andrew Photography Ivan Chan-A * I know no-one likes a sabbatical has allowed this young Romantics painted landscapes S-Flles The Team firebrand (with a Masters and because they sympathised with moaner but it's been a good few Seven Day Guide Wei Lee weeks since I last whinged so holder of a first class degree in nature whereas to the south, the Sport Juliette Decock and Mark Baker poor me, poor me, boo-hoo-hoo. aeronautics) to charge around all Romantic latin artists of Spain, Standby Jon Jordan day producing work for spurious France and Italy avoided Theatre Joseph Barr Plee for more people publications and listening to the landscapes to paint human Editorial Assistance Following on from my tantrum 'witless jabberings of indie- figures. It was at best useful for Mike Ingramsr, Jon above, I'd like to extend the music' (Alexander, 1994). stopping their human subjects Collating Last Week Jordan, Tim St Clare warm hand of friendship to Maybe it's the hair. MA from dropping off the canvas. Helpfulness Steve n Newhouse anyone who has any ideas they should at least have been Does the same hold for Typing Paul Dias would like to implement in immune. This high flyer had his animals - are they just props and FELIX. Do you have an sights set on the horizons where chops those countries?

20JHI195 FELIX MM New Microsoft Select Academic Edition software price list now available. Come to the Shop and pick up a copy. New products include Office Professional with Access manual set at £86.00

Special offers until 31st January

HP 51626A £17.92 inc VAT

double capacity black DeskJet cartridge

HP51625A £19.98 inc VAT

colour DeskJet cartridge

HP92298A £72.85 inc VAT

Series 4, 4 Plus, 4M, 4M Plus laser toner

Imperial College Computer Sales Level 4 Mechanical Engineering Building Exhibition Road London SW7 2BX TEL: 0171 594 6953 FAX: 0171 594 6957 EMAIL: [email protected]

Open Monday to Friday: 9.30 am - 5.00 pm

Visa, Access, Switch and Delta cards are now acceptable for payment. Incoming

Where's the student spirit gone?... Get Gaysoc off the Blocks. Edited this week by Owain Bennallack Moving the services we pay for, such as the hear what time has to tell, so slow is piece of draghtsmanship which Union entertainments and Sports change at an institution like IC... belongs in 'Animal Farm'. Thin End Centre facilities (The Union lent the Once upon a time there was a College over half a million pounds first year electronics student who, Dear Owain, - at a non-existent interest rate - Gaysoc within two weeks of his coming out, Yet again it seems that the great with which to renovate!) It would not only completely changed his cogs of decision making in our be an easy step for the College to Dear Owain, hairstyle and manner of dress, but college have sprung into motion, take full control of the Union's Several recent letters, including also started running the ULU gay descending upon us their decree: services and eventually disband it Lucy Chothia's last week and mine group, and got himself appointed thou shall vacate Beit Quad! entirely. Gone are the days of the last term, have been pessimistic IC gay students' welfare officer! Following Michael Ludlam's article rebellious student spirit, I grant you about homophobia at IC. Unfortunately, by the second term, in FELIX last week the Union move that. But Beit Quad is more than To balance the record, I should IC, electronics and ULU were all to the Sherfield building (or there just a symbol for the point out that the College hosted beneath his dignity, so he dropped abouts) now seems imminent to student/college separation - it the annual conference of the out and went to Goldsmith's to me. defines the autonomy we are Terence Higgins Trust (the major study drama. This left me wondering this: has entitled to and stands as the last AIDS charity in Britain) in 1987, The moral of this is that the anybody stopped to think for a bastion of student independence. and the International Lesbian and College is what you make of it. moment what is really going on? Dan Look (Deputy President Gay Youth Organisation held its Lucy has generously offered to co- One minute uncle Ron is discussing Finance) told FELIX that a meeting in our Students' Union in ordinate efforts, so why not take axing RSM the next he's juggling referendum is possible. I say he the same year. her up on it and get a new IC owes it to the student body to ICU into the bowels of Imperial There is a popular story that the GaySoc running? Meanwhile, the decide such matters, although I College's most architecturally last IC gaysoc was 'sorted out' by ULU group meets every Thursday hope it never has to come to that. displeasing pile of rubble! What the rugger club. evening and will welcome you next? Turn the Queen's tower into Strangely, every time I've heard support. a beacon to guide planes down to David Cohen it since I came here in 1986, this Paul Taylor Heathrow? The Union move not DoC PG always seems to have happened only exemplifies the general trend 'about four years ago', in particular Letters may be commented in this College for increased Well, the removal of the post of not within the memory of the on by a guest editor, whose centralised control, but also bodes College Managing Director and the narrator! opinions are not necessarily of an ill future for the students. A new Deputy Rector may hint at a The college's equal those of the editor, and cut future which may well be devoid of brighter future. Unfortunately, I opportunities statement does due to space restrictions. any student control over the doubt most of us will be around to mention sexual orientation, but it is Deadline: Monday 6.00pm.

FRESH HAIR SALON the best student offer in london!

CUT & BLOW DRY

£14 LADIES £12 MEN ^v"! Normal price: £28!

1 minute walk from South Kensington Tube Station!!

Call: 071 823 8968

15A HARRINGTON ROAD, SOUTH KENSINGTON, LONDON SW7 3 ES

The S-Files

In the beginning was the word

°Tke Prologue TEXT REBORN

°Beyond the 11 IIS READ TO WRITE

°Footnote THE AUTHORS OF CHANGE

graphics, the boxes of information - are all stolen, from another media. Silicon Semantics

Whilst the French have been deconstructing J the Q Semantics of language, the rest of the world has been building computers. And whilst literary theory may justify the shift of power to the Power-Hlac, the truth is that it would probably have happened anyway. Survival of the fittest. Computers have been used as text engines for decades already, in the shape of Word Processors. Word Processors derive their power from their ability to keep text underpinned modern style and 'alive' by translating it through various functions into hard llik content. store. Whereas writing words on a page results in hypertext permanance that only replacement can overcome, (hi,purrr:teks-te) n. a paradigm for a semantics (sam'antiques) n. 1. the computerised text is open like any other form of data to language system based on the branch of linguistics that deals with well defined functions. The most obvious of these are spell dynamic linking of words units the study of meaning. 2. the study of checkers and the mere ability to re-edit text. More powerful the relationship between signs and programs, such as the QuarhExpress package I'm using postmodernism(posd:modn:is_m?) symbols and what they represent 3. | now, allow great control over the finished appearance of n. a rejection of all the hitherto logic, the principles the truth-values the word! Finished - does it have to stop here? accepted certainties that of the formulaes in a logical system. Obviously not. Hypertext is a term first coined in the

60's by ®Tedllelson. By retaining the words in the machine, The words we write descend from the can. For this reason it has hypertext is able to support cross reference linking to other words we spoke. Novels arrived via been proclaimed that the 'nodes' of text. i.e. It is reactive, it is dynamic. The biography to provide us with the most author is dead. More possibilities open to authors are enormous and range from incisive form of self-contemplation the realistically, the author is multiple plots and multiple characters to whole new writing human race has yet discovered. In the neatly demystified. styles. But the real authors of change are the computer course of time words have assumed a Hypertext is a paradigm for writing programmers who bring hypertext bundled with the pre-eminent place in society as the that explicitly makes use of the human Macintosh and the html hypertext system which is helping repository of'truth': in the courts, the presence of the reader. Like the ancient to fuel the internet explosion. If you stand around waiting school room and the paperback. But oral tradition, the reader is able to probe for the next chapter to be written, you'll probably find writers such as James Joyce, Gertrude Stein his storyteller by the use of link words everyone else has cut to the chase... and ® Jaqu.es Demda have seen through (currently selected using a mouse and the veneer of authority carried by the embedded into the text as a different literary cannon and attempted to find colour or font). The author may write new ways of writing. In addition separate threads of narrative to be used tQ post'modern theory has undermined in different situations - rather like the R Jay Bolter the traditional view of the author-reader Fighting Fantasy novels of your childhood. relationship. Books are on the run. Thus, different people may read the i i!'.': k., '] .. ivi. i.

The Deconstmctionist accepts that only same book but reach different dest- by reading a book is the book completed. inations. The computer, using hypertext, The reader brings to the work his own allows the author to escape the tyranny personal lexicon: his own ways of of chronological order and relate events the edifice of the literary cannon. His most famous work, understanding words, his own history, or 'happenings' in a more digressive G/as, is said to be unreadable. in short his own set of life experiences. way, allowing the reader to move However skillful the author, he is always through the landscape of text in his own : . :.< ,!.ssv:. ' writing in a shared and confused fashion. Only via this 'dynamic text' will language and must always rely on his writing assume its next, post-post- reader to interpret the work as best he modern incarnation. M Credits | CditorJtuaifi Bennallach»Layout: Mark Baher"

20JRn95 FELIX H Xtro Curricular

produce something unique, and very enjoy- get to see the film for free. If you're interest- able! ed, turn up an hour before a show and ask for The action opens in a Deutsche Michael. Other benefits do exist, since we do Reichsbahn train from Paris to Berlin at the get to see the occasional preview; a few of us Cabaret beginning of the Thirties when Clifford saw the new Star Trek film the other week. Bradshaw, a young American writer, meets It's a cracking film, but you will have to wait Keys: KitKat, Nazism, Sailors Ernst Ludwig, a pleasant man who surprises till February to see it in the West End. Cliff by putting his briefcase among Cliffs luggage when they reach the German border. In return for Cliffs discretion Ernst gives him an address in Berlin where he'll definite- Week's Entertainment Guide ly find a room, Fraulein Schneider's house. Cliff begins teaching Ernst English and, on Keys: Comedy, Disco, Bar, Quiz the New Year's Eve they go to the KitKat Club, where he meets Sally Bowls an English Tonight (Fri 20th) - Comedy, Atmosphere girl working there as a dancer. The events lounge is converted briefly into a After an The KitKat Club is now the stage, where laid back cabaret venue for the return of the exhaustive lecture- the Master of Ceremonies along with the "Bust-a-Gut" comedy club with Dan to-lab day, crossing KitKat Girls (who are neither respectable nor Freedman, masturbatory insight from Tony Prince Consort Road wearing much!) take us through the story. Burgress, and that infamous raconteur and entering the Cliff and Sally fall in love, and she moves into Matthew Hardee. Admission to the comedy is Quad through Beit Fraulein Schneider's house with him, where £2.50 (£2 to ents card holders) and the show Arch on a cold and rainy they meet Herr Schultz, a Jewish fruitseller starts at 8.30pm prompt. As a 'Welcome Back' Monday evening cannot courting Fl. Schneider, Fraulein Kost, an present, there's free Newcastle Brown T- be more rewarding than amiable mistress who specialises in sailors, shirts to the first 20 through the doors. the warmth of my room and other characters of a fairly sleazy period Then it's late night drinking and danc- in Richmond. Silence pre- in Berlin's history. Gradually Cliff begins to ing, from 10pm till 2am, with "Atmosphere" vails in and around Beit see the black clouds of Nazism gathering, and - top tunes, late bar and all for just £1. hall, the Union office is at the same time everyone else has a funny Monday - Football closed, there are a handful feeling that something very bad is about to Live big screen football in DaVinci's at 7pm. of people in Da Vinci's. Yet happen... Tuesday - Bar Quiz as one enters the Union I would tell you more but I have the feel- Big money prizes in DaVinci's bar trivia building, the sweet voice ing that the tall, thin fellow with the black night starting at 8pm. £50 (courtesy of STA of a chorus can be cape and the scythe who is shadowing me is Travel) to the victors, and it's just 50p per heard in a dis- not Death, but my Director! person to enter. tance... singing very confidently "Tomorrow Seriously though, Amanda is not such a Wednesday - Club Spanque Belongs To Me". "Oh God, you're late for frightful person at all (believe me) and she Be a Spanquer! Tons of fun to be had, and it's rehearsal again", Conscience indicts me. But has been the driving force behind this pro- free! 9pm - lam, bar 'till midnight. Club as soon as I reach the Concert Hall, all wor- duction, as has Jonathan, our Musical Spanque beats those midweek blues. ries die away as I am about to enjoy a three- Director. Our team of actors and dancers Thursday - Cocktail Night hour rehearsal to its full, while my voice is have been working very intensively to pro- The height of sophistication... DaVinci's joining the other low-voice men in "Oh duce a good show. The fact that we all had an indulges the pampared side of your nature Fatherland..." enormous amount of fun in doing this with its famous Cocktail Night - watch out All those of you who have noticed the ensures that the show will be a success. Above for this week's specials, and the extensions of posters around College know what "Cabaret", all I'd like to thank everybody involved for our range. "Le Cabaret" or "Das Kabarett" is. The some of the most brilliant evenings at College Friday - Atmosphere major Operatic Society production for this this year. Guys and Girls, warm up for the The week turns full circle. Another Friday year, scheduled for five performances from final rehearsals and the performances! As for night, another opportunity to start your the 31st of January till the 4th of February you, we'll be waiting to serve you at the weekend in style with 'Atmosphere' (still no inclusive. KitKat Club the nights of 31st of January, nearer to another name!). £1 on the door, bar 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th of January... Cabaret. The word itself in everyday until lam, dancing until 2am. usage usually conjures up pictures of seedy strip joints on dimly lit streets, or night-clubs where the exhorbitant price of drinks is MLJUQOG rarely linked to the meagre stage fare. To Important Sports Notice these images, the musical and the film Film Society Update Cabaret have added a grim aura of Weimarian Keys: Football, Overseas, Loud decadence and a hint of satire. These versions Keys: Pulp Fiction, Exorcist of Cabaret are distant relatives of the literary The next films to be shown at ICU Cinema After the overwhelming popularity of the Cabaret which emerged in France in the 19th will not be until February, due to the produc- event in the past years, the OSC annual century and blossomed into a unique medi- tion of Cabaret by Opsoc. Films to be shown seven-a-side football tournament is back! um for political and cultural satire in Paris include: Pulp Fiction, The Nightmare Before Matches will start as of Monday 23rd of and (later on) Berlin, Munich and elsewhere Christmas, The Exorcist and more. Stay January. So, if you're a budding football star in Germany. Common ground is the presence tuned to FELIX and our posters for informa- or a very loud football fan and want to know of spectacle and an intimate space in which tion on dates and times. more about the tournaments, your queries people can smoke and talk, eat and drink. However bear in mind that you don't just will be answered by email on: [email protected], Our team has been aiming to mix all flavours get to watch films with Filmsoc, you can get Giulio Contaldi, Chem Eng II. in various ways and proportions, and thus to involved too. Come along, help us out and Is your Society up to the challenge?

FELIX Clued Up

NatWest really piss me off. (No, A friend of mine graduated about protecting Harlingon from What is happening in the this is not another piece about the last year and got a really nice letter encroachments by Heathrow. What Sherfield building? Does anyone evils of capitalism - Hobsbawm from NatWest asking about his was Ms Chothia planning to do, I have any idea? All that plushness on was the last of the Marxists and future banking arrangements. My wonder? Buy a token share in BAA Level 5 and now this repainting and we're all Thatcher's children now.) future banking arrangements, he pic and disrupt their AGM? Or remodelling of the entrance. The cash machine usually has 20 wrote back, perhaps - Perhaps this is in preparation for the people permanently camped in are with Rant and Roll more in the Union move? No, somehow - call front of it. The cash dispensers Abbey Nat- spirit of me cynical but - I doubt it. Why is inside the Imperial branch are only ional. Do as he does: dump New Age protests - tie herself to a this completely unnecessary work open during lecture hours - and NatWest when you can afford to. tree at Heathrow? Or perhaps done? To boost the UK employment anyway you can't use your Midland Talking of NaiWest, does something more accommodating: figures? More likely to show a card in them. As for queuing up, I anyone remember our erstwhile the boys and girls can play hockey better face to visitors. Not just any don't really have 1/2 hour to be President, Lucy Chothia, pledging to on the runway in-between jumbo old visitors, of course; visitors to bored. Why is it that a service do something about bank charges landings? Sherfield, important visitors (you cannot be provided properly? I that the Union pays. Has anything I was planning to write a know, like the £60k facelift to suppose we should all be grateful been done about it? Has anything column called SabWatch, in which I Huxley's front when Mrs Anne that there is that one cash machine been done about anything that Ms would report on the achievements Lawrence came to write her very for all 7000 of the students at Chothia talked about? Anyone of the Sabbaticals. But sadly that's own "70 print hello : 20 goto 10" Imperial. And that we are allowed remember the College Second-hand another project that must be program on the Fujitsu machine). to take out overdrafts. bookshop? Then there was the one shelved due to lack of material. Mirtas

fellow travellers' charitable instincts heart riff would be just too Repeat until dead, or a retirement invariably falls on deaf ears. He'll hypocritical. So what if he's cottage in Milton Keynes. And they Effigy [TO® give a faded smile to no one in homeless and looks like an extra think Angus is the mad one? Yeah, particular, and proceed to bless the from Night of the Living Dead, I know every society has its social carriage and its inhabitants using a doesn't he know the rest of us have norms, but do they really have to small crucifix and a series of problems? 'Sides, he didn't even be so...normal? In the follow up to You meet the strangest people on apparently random hand know any of the good bits from 'Zen & The Art of MotorCycle the tube. Exhibit A: 'Mad' Angus, movements, like a badly drawn Revelations, which is the very least I Maintenance'*, Robert Pursig all vacant-lot eyes and mutant flip-book man. People suddenly expect from reality-challenged suggests that societies need 'mad' clumps of dirty bristles which might, become very interested in scroungers before giving handouts. people because their perspective in a bad light, pass for a beard (all Oranjeboom adverts, newspapers, No, I'm more interested in might be useful during times of mad holy men have beards; it's a or their shoelaces. Eventually what passes for sanity these days. social upheaval. If there's even an ancient law or charter, probably). Angus goes away to convert the Take a look at Exhibit B the next outside chance of him being right Angus has no fixed abode - unless heathens of the Northern line, and time you're on the tube: they jump then you owe it your country to flip you count the Circle line - and people exchange little wry glances on like lemmings every morning, out in some interesting and spends his time giving impromptu as if to say: 'what a nutter, eh?'. stand crushed against someone's colourful manner. After all, a new theory of social dynamics may sermons to rush-hour commuters. Now you're probably armpit for half-an-hour or more, emerge from the crayon scribbles He talks at length about living your expecting a 'Hey people, let's care and never once look someone else on your padded wall... life according to the Word of God, a bit more about the homeless, in the eye. 9 'til 5 in a job they hate loving your fellow man and helping OK?' moral about now: Angus may (or, worse, have no emotional those less fortunate than yourself - be slightly woofing, but he still response to whatsoever) and then 'mentioned purely for such as giving an old man.money deserves to be treated as human, back on the merry-go-nowhere of pretentiousness points - this is a to buy food. This appeal to his right? Wrong. That kind of bleeding stale breath and stale minds. column, after all.

30. Father returns in boat, to be mocked (8) Crossword by Catfish Down Across 2. Drop hot bird with villager (7) I. Ran about, I heard , to dominate the 3. A little bigger than a birdie! (9) injured(8) 4. Promote former sailor, say (5) 8. Hero takes part in July's session (7) 5. Lightweight character in agreement 9. Character is interrupted by the dance with travellers (7) (7) 6. Ads collapse around city, we hear - this 10. Seam of diamond has magnetic will amaze (7) quality (9) 7. His house fell, in legend - he needs II. John's one who spat bit out (7) guidance (8) 13. Caviare sounds expensive! (3) 8. 12Dgoes there (8) 14. The time when money caused 12. A vehicle appears from both problems (8) directions (3) 16. Poles accepted Adrian's return to 15. Note captured by spoken song line, in chair (5) rhyme (8) 19. Visitor delivered blow to player (5) 1 7. Not odd that other's included a snack 22. Mad sneer gives rise to erratic (9) paths.(8) 1 8. Humpty Dumpty's scholarly chums (8) 25. Anger of Republic is heard (3) 20. Oriental holiday at the beginning of 26. Hot rocks! (8) November (7) 27. Channels through which suet is 21. Giant ship (7) removed from sheep (9) 23. Browbeat the old horse (3) 28. Watch team on the beach (7) 24. Quietly, the breast will tremble (7) 29. I hear the fellow operates a crane (7) 26. Is legal action to the point? (5)

Answer to last week's Elimination: the word left over was city

BackChcit The United Colours of Sporting Rebellion After spending his first sixteen years in South Africa, Peter Hain moved to Britain in 1966. He studied Mechanical Engineering at Imperial for a year before moving to Queen Mary College. He became the Labour MP for Neath in 1991. It is nothing to be terribly surprised about in official group was formed. The Stop The retrospect. I mean where else would you Seventies Tour (STST) committee was set up expect to see Members of Parliament walking to organise disruption to the tour. Peter was around except outside the Houses of initially only the spokesman but he soon

Parliament. I'm actually there to interview amnnmanmna became seen as the chairman - at least the Peter Hain, the Labour MP for Neath but newspapers said so. .Slil innnn kiunni being early I hang around for a while. Neil However at the same time as he was iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil Kinnock motors passed with a big grin and a running around the country disrupting the secretary in tow. On the other side of the road, Springboks' rugby tour, Peter was also a Gerald Kaufman sidles by. It's the first time studying at Imperial. Considering our I've seen either man in real life and despite reputation as a right wing college, what was it their numerous telly appearances, they look like then? "Well, you know, I enjoyed my somehow different in the flesh. Maybe it's that time there" he says. "I had an excellent tutor they seem to have human traits instead of and people in my tutor group and my lectures being just party ciphers. Just then Big Ben were always friendly although I have to say for strikes and it's time to go. me Imperial was an academic sort of existence. After several different doors, an X-ray I never spent any time socially there". machine and two guard houses I'm in. I meet However he did retain some affection for part Peter's secretary and we go into his office. It's of the Mech. Eng building. "I'd spend my a cosy room, smaller than I imagined and the lunch hour on the phone in a call box just dominant feature is the small tv screen bolted opposite the mechanical engineering building to the wall. This appears to be for the purpose ... I used to literally spend every lunchhour of telling MPs when votes are taking place so with a couple of sandwiches, being phoned they can do their stuff whilst missing out the back by newspapers all over the country and boring speeches. However it doesn't seem to by organisers all over the place." change whilst I'm in the room so I can't be Yet after one year Peter decided that positive about that. Peter's on the phone - engineering and Imperial was not for him so taking to some journalists as chance would he moved to Queen Mary College and studied

have it. So I get to look around his office some l|ininmiH[imi»Hffli Economics instead. However the STST more. There's a large poster of Nelson campaign had been a great success. At its Mandela broadly smiling and the new South height it had attracted over 3,000 protesters to African flag in the background. A few pictures a single match and a total of 50,000 over the of Peter in action are dotted around, probably (iv**"'!''^"' < period of its organisation. It gained the engaged in MP business. He finishes with the support of major unions, caused international phone and we get started. it shows you the kind of romantic ignorance concern about the status of the 1970 Peter Hain was born in Kenya but his involved, but I was surprised how rundown Commonwealth Games, created a political hot parents were leading activists in the South London seemed." "Politically it just seemed potato within the UK and then finally African anti apartheid movement who less serious" he adds, "politics seemed less fulfilled its aim. On the 21 May, 1970 the happened to be out of the country for a year. serious, it was not as life and death as it clearly MCC finally withdrew their invitation to the He grew up in South Africa in what could be was in South Africa". South Africans. called rather trying circumstances. "Well it Following 'A' Level choices of pure and Twenty five years on, Peter Hain the was different," Peter says. He still has a applied maths and physics, it seemed that radical student has become Peter Hain the definite accent and his voice is quiet and slow. Peter was well on the way to becoming an respectable MP. Does he feel limited by the "But it was a very happy childhood, which I engineer. Indeed before coming to Imperial to fact that he has to work within the system think is a great tribute to my parents, do Mechanical Engineering he spent an now? "I was never content with only holding although it was unusual in the sense that they apprentice year at Lucas. However he was still up a banner or pursuing a single issue were jailed for eleven days at one stage." active in political circles especially in the campaign" he says. "I always believed in a Indeed by 1964 both his mother and Young Liberals Movement. So it was that general political approach because that's the father were issued with banning orders which when it was announced that a (white) South way you change society". So are you still restricted their movements and eventually led African Cricket team were going to tour inspired to get things done? "I think it's an to the family moving back to the UK in 1966. Britain, Peter, also a keen sportsman, fantastic job" he ends. "My colleagues find it So did he experience political culture proposed that the Young Liberals should take very frustrating but I think it depends as to shock on coming to Britain? "There was a direct action to stop the tour taking place. whether you have any illusions about it ... my cultural culture shock", he laughs. "I mean for From that point in January 1969 things moto is you can only get disillusions if you a start it was cold and wet and I was surprised, developed very quickly and by August an have illusions in the first place." Q

FELIX Feature One Hundred Years After The Destruction of Imperial

One hundred years ago, 1895, three significant Wells' image of science can be found Mike Newman events took place. As always, with events that are pervading nearly all his short stories and novels. chosen as triplets, they contained both The background to this is his student days at the celebrates the life contradiction and irony. One was the birth of a Royal College of Science, then called the Normal man as a writer; his first novel was published, and it School of Science, and a place dedicated to and character of could be seen as one of the first great modern producing science teachers for the newly created science fiction books. In the same year his greatest state school system. Wells was a trainee science T. H. Huxley teacher died at the age of seventy. The writer's later teacher, having won a scholarship while teaching as novels were to celebrate this teacher, a brilliant a junior master. scientist and educator. T. H. Huxley taught Wells during his first The third event links the two; the disturbing year. Their classroom and laboratory, described in image of the first motorised flight. Two scientists, 'Love and Mr Lewisham', is situated on the top intrepid inventors, Monson and Woodhouse, fly the floor of the 'Henry Cole Wing' of the V&A. This first aeroplane over London. As they pass over building was the Normal School of Science. Here Kilburn and Hampstead they lose control of the Huxley taught with great enthusiasm, refusing to plane and... accept more lucrative teaching jobs at other "So swiftly had the thing happened that Universities, and in America. He believed in the barely a quarter of the people going to and fro in future role and importance of Imperial College and Hyde Park and Brompton Road, and the Exhibition South Kensington. Road saw anything of the aerial catastrophe... In his teaching he used beautiful models, For perhaps half a minute, the pointed stem made in Paris, that can still be seen in the College of the big machine still raised vertically upward, the Archives. He believed it was the responsibility of screw spinning desperately. For one brief instant, the teacher to free the minds of students from that yet seemed an age to all who watched, it hung dogma and lack of thought. motionless in mid-air. Then a spout of yellow flame 'The politicians tell us, "You must educate licked up its length from the stern engine, and the masses because they are going to be masters". swift, swifter, swifter, and flaring like a rocket, it The clergy join in the cry for education, for they rushed down upon the solid mass of masonry which affirm that people are drifting away from the church was formerly the Royal and chapel into the broadest infidelity. The College of Science.." manufacturers and the capitalists swell the chorus The short story, lustily. They declare that ignorance makes bad 'Argonauts of the Air', workmen; that England will soon be unable to turn ...it is true now, as published in 1895 by an ex- cotton goods, or steam engines cheaper than other student of Imperial College, people; and then, Ichabod! Ichabod! The glory will ever it was, that the ends with the devastated be departed from us. And a few voices are lifted up ruins of the college and its in favour of the doctrine that the masses should be people perish for Student's Club as a educated because they are men and women with monument to the 'gallant unlimited capacities of being, doing, and suffering, lack of knowledge." experimentalists' and to 'the and that it is true now, as ever it was, that the desperate struggle for man's people perish for lack of knowledge.' - A Liberal right of way through the air'. Education and Where to Find it, 1868 (Professor T. The writer was H. G. H. Huxley) Wells, and his teacher was He worked on Government committees on Professor T. H. Huxley, Dean of the Royal College education, he wrote textbooks, one of which was for of Science. The book was 'The Time Machine'. London schools, on how to use the local landscape Why did Wells celebrate the image of his to teach geology, geography and human geography. college by destroying it in 1895? This image of He believed you teach the child by starting with destruction was a reversal of the view Wells had of what they already know, using what is familiar to his aimer mater. To him the College destroyed the child, and by the child actively doing things. science by training students as technicians in the He was on the first London School Board, despite skills of science, and cramming them with protests from the Church. And he even successfully knowledge, meanwhile destroying its heart and threatened to resign if the Board agreed to fund soul. This heart and soul, was represented by his Church Schools. For this was the man that coined two heroes, with their imaginative creativity. the term 'Agnostic' for his beliefs. He believed in 'Argonauts of the Air' has true scientists accidently the idea that truth was something you should destroying the threat to their science. always be able to test, open to scrutiny and

012 FELIX 20JAI195 ultimately to verification. God and the afterlife were not open to testing and therefore not a part of knowledge. After his first son had died at the age of four, just after Christmas (indeed near the date when he had been born - his name was Noel) and with Huxley's wife being a devout Christian, Huxley corresponded with the vicar and writer, Charles Kingsley. Kingsley, who admired Huxley enormously, wanted to convert him and wrote soon after Noel's death to this end. Huxley's response, a few weeks after this tragic bereavement tells us of the nature of this man; "My Dear Kingsley - I cannot sufficiently thank you, both on my wife's account and my own, for your long and frank letter, and for all the hearty sympathy it exhibits... My convictions, positive and negative, on all the matters of which you speak, are of long and slow growth and are firmly rooted. But the great blow which fell upon me seemed to stir them to their foundation... I have searched over the grounds of my belief, and if wife and child and name and fame were all to be lost to me one after the other as penalty, still I will not lie. ... But the longer I live, the more obvious it is to me that the most sacred act of a man's life is to say and feel, "I believe such and such to be true."... The universe is one and the same throughout; and if the condition of my success in unravelling some little difficulty of anatomy or physiology is that I shall rigorously refuse to put faith in that which does not rest on sufficient evidence, I cannot believe that the great mysteries of existence will be laid open to me on other terms... As I stood behind the coffin of my little son the other day, with my mind bent on anything but disputation, the officiating minister read, as part of his duty, the words, "If the dead rise not again, let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die." I cannot tell you how inexpressibly they shocked me...... As our laws stand, if the lowest thief steals "The longer I live, the more obvious it is my cost, my evidence (my opinions being known) would not be received against him. to me that the most sacred act of a man's But I cannot help it. One thing people shall not call me with justice, and that is - a liar. As you life is to say and feel, 'I believe such and say of yourself, I too feel that I lack courage; but if ever the occasion arises when I am bound to speak, such to be true/ " I will not shame my boy..." Huxley represents a symbol of science as enquiring of truth but reflecting upon what truth I urge those students who are excited about ; means and how it affects the rest of our lives. He the nature of science and its relationship with i was a great writer; a biography of Huxley was human knowledge and creativity, as celebrated by I included in the series of volumes on 'Modern the buildings, if not the institutions of South i English Writers', published by Blackwood, Kensington (read the inscription around the roof of j alongside George Eliot, Browning and Dickens. the Albert Hall and you will be surprised!) to help i His life is about the relationship between education, organise events for next year. We need the re- j science, art and politics. He, of all people, starting of the Huxley Society, which I founded in i encompasses the history and meaning of the South 1992. Leave your names in the Students Union j Kensington complex of museums and institutions. Office and sign a motion asking for the society to be i His student, Wells, has left us the romantic legacy refounded. It needs only 20 signatures, I think. ; of his novels and short stories that examine these issues. Michael Newman, Imperial College Alumni, Science \ There can be no finer opportunity for Teacher, Teacher of English in Italy. (All references in j Imperial College and all the other institutions to this article, except those regarding the death of Huxley's j reflect upon themselves, their past and their present son, can be found in a collection of Wells' writings \ relationships, through a celebration of Huxley and about Imperial College, edited by Michael Newman \ Wells. called 'Breaking the Shackles', cost £2:00). I

20« FELIX MM Feature Dark Gifts and Money Makers Me saga Maf/ras /o/Zoweo' ffie ma/ringofJM£ fieri own child. Of all w/M a Vamrf^Aras Aee/r a r. this is the 6n£ is very to her and means a jer, so I pro/qrf&edo/re. At/ts root LJgrjrjjach was not professfts but fronoTioffi^ \ Perhaps the me /s t/re sp///rfereo* t startling part fwhole affair occurred when Anne Ricel re/afioas/ir/p 6ef§vee/r out a two page press [elease to say that actually seeing the filn how delighted she /tove/s a/ftf f/re with the whole th bviously it didn't too long for this e/7terfe//?/T?e/7f/s7a'i/sf/y. from someone whrynad more tnar>^-passing interest in the film. Howevei^etfjjicism aside, Jon Jordan SooAs//rfo a this ignores RL^s prevjej^^tbursts. When she didn't U^the>^^«gof Tom Cruise she said so.^$w jgjt&oshe liked the overall film Whilst this view was coloured Neil Jo anders into the room and sits ather florid language she used, down. producer, siders viewed it as a typical actions from an Steve | eccentric woman. As Neil Jordan said, "I'm out a c; sure the studio would have done anything to Ahead (J get her to do that but there's nothing you can he see JThen the do to change that woman's mind, believe me I press co Neil was know. If she had seen the movie and hated it this mate TEew?'r you would have known about it. You'd still be 'Intd Vampire' is not going hearing about it now". to go down a classic film. Indeed it unlikely In retrospect then, it would seem that that it will ven go down as a classic Neil ice's attitude to the making of her film Jordan filrrij uch is the standard his work erely highlights the issues that authors who such as 'Ani P and the 'Crying Game'. Yet re about their work face in allowing it to be there is som hing compelling in the way that apted for the cinema. I guess that most just 'Interview h a Vampire' has been made. In ke the money and run. Locked outside of particular it ^peaks volumes about the role of e cinematic process Anna Rice took the author with the Hollywood system, nly option that was open to her and that was To st; at the beginning would take us o use the media. For her at least, the result back to 19' when Anne Rice's book of the eemed to be satisfactory and a sequel is same name riginally published. Since already planned and has been written. At the then various scr&ts, directors and actors were \end of the day perhaps the most contradictory flung around winkmt anything happening sition is that of Neil Jordan. until it seemed thatS^iestory would remain When he asked about the book at "I said that I S properly, and perhap ore nobly, in the tious points throughout the press medium of print. In hin^ light, however, this Merence, he was balanced in his praise, loved the book fm was nothing compared to What was to come rases like "I did enjoy the book when I Neil Jordan was on| 'director that An, id it, I mean I thought I was overwritten" ... don't quote Rice had recommended take her book! t re interspersed with "it's the most film, his film 'the Comp by of Wolves' B 1 humourless book ever written" and "I think things that particularly impressed hek. However it was the book does get a little bit turgid in its clear that Neil would on be the director if obsession about certain things" when asked half said" he had artistic control oviH the film. This was £ book's homo-erotic element. important because Rice ftlad actually written me brave soul asked; "I don't the screen play she wantaa to be used. With 'Edward G Robinson is Rhett Butler" was wish to buJfsh*t you but you're just said in Neil Jordan as directoi\there would sL_Mwre the courseJof the last 20 minutes that this was transfer of artistic contra Ig tTS^brjseq^fiP^H^ia^g no idea a turgidvwver written and humourless book. authors would have been hap^y"with then; Why »rn't you go and create something aljEdwar^G- L^^! wlin^D^r! million fee and the knowledge that the'ftm 1 yourselves?" would help book sales, but Rice was more For all the quickness and passion of possessive of her work. gter the Gj. Jordan's reply, " I said that I loved the book ... This was most forcefully highlighted everl^S^luctuatirfti ag^tne otherwise I wouldn't have done the bloody with Jordan's decision to cast Tom Cruise in movie rrm-«fcg<»«i 11) lw S En mjust bad movie, don't quote things that T half said" the 'lead' role of Lestat, following the refusal mouthing someone's changes to your work. there seemed to be some sort of truth in the of Daniel Day Lewis. He's as much Lestat as As Stevfe Woolley put it, "the novel was question. Q

FELIX 20JM195 Cat's Tale

Tea For One by Mimi Chakraborty

There are four waiters in the room When the bill arrives, court of George IV the Prince editions. Scotch on the rocks arrives and precisely two tables are enclosed in an embossed leather Regent, which is now the Brighton on a silver tray with a plate of hors occupied. I am at one, and to my wallet, Bill reaches for a brown Pavilion, a building whose curlicues d'oeuvres and minute linen napkin. left on a raised dais on which the leather body pouch and hands a and Turkish verandas might also be There are no public tele- grand piano stands, and reflected credit card to the waiter without considered oxymoronic against the phones, no newspaper stand, and, by a large gilt mirror which fills the looking at him. The waiter is young local colour. quite disablingly, no kiosk where wall behind them, are a retired but tall with dark hair and slender Until 1980, the Lanes- one might nip in to buy emergency American couple, Bill and Barbara, hands. He helps Barbara with her borough was the site of the old St Tampax, Nurofen or condoms. In whose argument about their jacket, the zip of which has got George's hospital, and before that fact there is no evidence that mon- daughter Rebecca currently holds caught up in her hair. it started life in 1719 as James ey changes hands anywhere at all. the room. As it happens, the particular Lane's design for a town house for It strikes, finally, that the kind Between several pots of tea environment which yields this the second Viscount Lanesborough. of people who might find security and silver stacks bearing tiers of pattern of manners is the Chinese The hotel has been open only four at the Lanesborough - as opposed bridge rolls, crumpets and cream conservatory at the Lanesborough years, but has the distinction - at to its flashier Park Lane neighbours fancies - "they're so delicious", Hotel, on the corner of Hyde Park five thousand pounds per night - of - might be the kind of people "they're darn small" - some trifling Corner and Park Lane. It is four- offering London's most expensive whose lives accept a degree of elements of their life history thirty, it is a bank holiday, it is suite (a single room for a single pretended status, and who, in fact emerge. Rebecca has abandoned raining. As the afternoon light slips night will put you out by one hun- ,infer it as real. Who require, to oil Wisconsin in favour of Chicago, from blue to yellow to grey, fat dred and fifty pounds, by the way). the wheels between meetings and taking her two-year-old daughter droplets slap against the conserv- It is possible to walk past the drivers and wives and airports, the Nora but leaving her husband atory roof which looks up into an building several times without lubricant of one-on-one deference Michael behind. The argument internal courtyard. The enforced noticing it and several times more from a sequence of attentive appears to be an ongoing one, and humidity of the room and the without identifying it as a hotel; inferiors. The kind of people who at any rate the fundamental thesis resulting condensation have prov- there is no choice of a swing door might not, as it happens, spot the - an acceptable degree of juvenile ided fertile corners for mildew and or a rotating one, there are no error in placing an English racing freedom - is left unresolved. moss which, although cleaned steps leading upwards, no signs for scene above a roaring fire opposite In fact, Bill and Barbara and away on the inside, have taken credit cards accepted or AA stars a pink boudoir and looking down a third person at the table, a hold of the exterior, and which, accrued. It could be mistaken, in on a red, green and gold rug woman, would attract attention with a necklace of weeds, frame sombre Belgravia cream, for an bearing a pattern of Oriental even without their ongoing narr- the sky. embassy or a club or even a private dragons. ative because they are, quite The design of the hotel, strikingly, attired in the same white though empirically haphazard, is and purple flash shell suits with The hotel has the distinction of quite specific in its intention, and Reebok trainers. On the handles of on the evidence, quite successful. the one unoccupied chair hang two Where it most succeeds is in matching travel bags, also in offering London's most expensive suite, supporting a particular self- exactly matching white purple, one deception, deriving from the belief for Him, one for Her. On its seat at five thousand pounds per night. that rank and status are essentially yet another has tipped over, deserving, and it is the purveying of revealing its contents: a packet of this, finally, which is being paid for. Handi-Wipes, a make-up bag and As it happens it is not true. some Evian facial spray. The conservatory has an house, but what it resembles most As it happens, to interpret the Between them a trio of wait- unusual, Oriental design, enhanced exactly is one of those anonymous conflicting messages of the ers perform an elegant gavotte of by painted paper lanterns and palladian mansions like the Lanesborough Hotel and therefore pouring, serving and replacing. The Chinese baskets which hang from Mansion House or the buildings to fully derive its pleasures, it is device of afternoon tea is a com- the sky. In fact it is quite possible to framing Admiralty Arch, whose necessary to be quite seriously plex one requiring separate spoons, imagine brightly coloured exotic presence is tolerated by the tax- poor. It is necessary, on the forks, tongs and tea-strainers. The birds flapping and crowing in the payer, but whose function is never grounds of a quite appalling credit silver pots have hot handles and upper branches of the trees and fully explained. rating, to have been denied any employ white linen napkins in huge bowls of flowers which sit in Actually there is only one one of the credit cards which the order to be lifted, likewise the brass bowls across the room. doorway, small, and one doorman, hotel is happy to accept. It is slightly smaller pots of water. At eye level, however, the courteous. The marble hall is necessary to have been toying, over Part of what is striking about carpet of white linen and sparkling narrow - more than two people a period of several hours, with a this incidental theatre is that it glassware prevails. The gliding could not walk in comfort - and single pot of tea, long gone cold. involves a quite serious effort of will waiters and china cups and the passes an open fireplace, above And to have omitted, on the to be any one of the parties invol- discreet twinkle of silver on glass let which a dark oil painting depicting grounds of an over-familiarity with ved - in other words to ignore com- slip an ambition for a very an English racing scene looks tea bags, to make use of the tea- pletely the presence of the others. particular European aristocratic across to the dining room which, strainer (an action which results in The waiters, one can imagine, decadence, which is viscerally at although partly closed off, reveals immediate confiscation by a waiter would execute the same series of odds with William Wilkins' lush that the dominant theme is Parisian of the cold cup with bits floating in movements if they were serving an Manchurian suggestion. boudoir pink. it, and the production of a fresh empty table, while the diners must That this is not really a The accessible parts of the one by another). behave as though the cups and problem, that a contradiction of hotel attempt to retain the style of a What results is a particular saucers are moving themselves. Of architecture and design is in no large formal house. The bar is in type of understanding, and the three at the table, only Bill way out of character with the The Library, and has the Brooke's consequently, of security, which succeeds at the game; both his contradictions of the hotel itself, is Brothers style of an Ivy League yields only out of having nowhere female companions snag the the unintentional message which club. The books in the floor-to- really to go on a wet misery-soaked rhythm with anxious shifting and time spent in the conservatory ceiling bookcases are, in a way day, in a sleep walking city with murmured thank you's and attem- conveys. (As it happens Wilkins' which might prove disappointing, problems one would rather forget, pts to do things for themselves. design was after the style of the painted boxes in the style of first and bills unpaid.

20J195 FELIX MM Standby

thg menu changing scenes of life

It's the usual selection of the good, bad, ugly, slightly spotty, downright rude and occasionally twee. James Thomson, of DoCl fame, returns for his second bite at rotation.

Tintin got his light brown plus fours out, left Snowy at a kennel and headed down to the Royal Academy for their Nicolas Poussin exhibition [at the start of a busy week].

An all action music team splits three separate ways, gets lost, jumps on and off guest lists but finally returns. Tintin tackles the throwing muses, Owain clutches free kitten to his bosom while Vik smiles at the new dillion fence Ip.

Taking her cues from the Word could be dodgy but Fiona knows her bits from her pieces ... fluffy bras, vpls and all...

Gnash, gnash toothies are back. Anne Rice's [via Neil Jordan] vampire classic hits the screams near us all. Tintin checked out interviews with the vampires' delusions of grandeur whilst Jenny Ho dugs around that shallow grave.

You continue to be served by the anonymous gastrognome of greatness, yeap AC goes 'yummy' down at Oguiska.

© rotation ...; Vv4v:-r:''!: '.Jl;',-i

The Martyrdom of St. Erasmus [1628-29]

The most arresting sight in this rivers are personified, the cherubic exhibition is the first painting on putti float about the skies dropping show. One entering the circular flowers and satyrs drunkenly fool

: V' :v!j;gu! ^"-.-.V"iv:V^--; s>v M|J:!, anteroom at the Royal Academy, with bacchante. To that extent both down looms Poussin's the martyr- the stories and Poussin's portrayals dom of st. erasmus. A christlike of them are laced with the wiff of figure falls out of the canvas as a decadence. This too is reflected in its wake. James grabs a breath group of men crowd about the the biblical scenes as the classical saint. They are slowly pulling out touches are introduced as alle- " his intestines and winding them gories ie in the triumph of david a around a windlass. It's not what winged victory hands him an oak you expect from Nicolas Poussin, wreath as cupid plays the harp! ; v . . (1594-1665), considered the However Poussin is best known and a better than average rhythm greatest French painter of his age. for his classical landscapes. They and bass section. Good but r:,! :-! ' i ft:*: Yet the choice of subject is not at still retain the previous themes but :>'<?'':i <*: variancft;;rt««iwee with the rest of the enhance them by placing the much exhibition. After failing to win smaller figures within the realm of public acclaim with this work (it was nature. Yet for Poussin this nature inconceivably ordered as an altar- own secret life ong was as domestic as the architec- piece), Poussin had to paint for : fi I. )! !'Cr.:Mos , t gospel soul music now tural details he often used both on private patrons. Therefore he ": ' -i: ... . . seems to have forgotten its roots, fore and backgrounds. It has been possessed a much freer rein to well said that his world was "all ' : ' ravaged by the unstoppable express his own choice of topics solid, cubes and cones of landscape I : Hi.'!' march of technology. This is no than other artists of his day. and cloud ... everything remains >h- . t ' Ki no musici. .-, and way Although born in France, graspable by man".

-. .>.'.'.:. overlong. Why do they waste cds Poussin spent most of his working The last works he carried out with this crap? life in Rome, drawing heavily on were a series on the four seasons ,,„j, v......„ , the Renaissance and antiquity as which highlighted biblical themes subject matter. Indeed of the nine such as winter - the deluge. It was

''s-i.''-i:' . ' - galleries making up this exhibition an appropriate end to his career. If you like A. iready, all but one fall into the categories Yet Poussin seems to be best character and grabs the attention. then you'll like this. Standard of biblical or scenes from antiquity. placed as a precursor to others. 'spect to the brother reggae hip Perhaps it was his early work Certainly this is an interesting

"jj«rs*?i'i->i-i ^ ',: hop. It's okay, but original is not a that is now most admired. Taking exhibition but this would seem to

word that s( i.ly to mind. such stories as Venus and Adonis be more for historical reasons than and Echo and Narcissus, Poussin the deeper excitements that are painted scenes of tragic and futile generally associated with Art. 0 humanism. Within such works,

MM FELIX 20JIH195 Standby

throwing muses ending in your dreams

The main problem for the way in hell' will give an equally throwing muses' new album, good return with persistent listen- university is that it's not what most ing as the more accessible tracks. people want to hear. After the Perhaps the overall moral to departures and soloing sabbaticals accept is don't live in the past. The of the last eighteen months, the Throwing Muses are dead. Long crowds are split into the Belly and live the Throwing Muses. (8) Kristin Hersh camps. Numerically Kim Gordon is about to take the Belly camp are much larger, the stage and I'm squashed but if the Hersh camp attacked it between a forest of very tall guys would probably win, thanks to its and four hundred people who age and sexual advantages. What came just to see her. Because Kim is more interesting is that both Gordon is such a symbol to me: of 'star' and 'hips and makers' sold womanhood, of age in the youth more copies than any of the business, of selling rather than Throwing Muses albums did when selling out, I'm terrified that she'll both Tanya Donnelly and Kristin be somehow wrong. Too fat or too Hersh played the same drum. boring or too young or even too So what can Kristin now offer ugly. All very incorrect of me, all her new fan base? Well the very true. But she's wonderful. Throwing Muses are more than just Handsome at 40, impossible thin Kristin with a bassist and drummer. snakelidded eyes, dressed in her Bernard Georges and David 'x-girl' brand (pink skirt and black Narcizo are certainly not pretty fishnet stockings) and purring into faces but they flesh out the sound the microphone with regal Free kitten attempt to crack And then, no more. 'Laughs' that dominates the heartland of certainty. She's the 'super' in this the code with their bit-on-the-side is an instant contradiction - a the album. The lyrical tautness supergroup, although the others project and succeed, partially. The lackadaisical guitar jangle and maybe characteristic Hersh but play their part. Julia from Pussy music is new, more then a sweet harmonies providing the here that's less than half the story. Galore provides frenetic polemics, combination of the disparate background before the insertion of Marc from Pavement a loose bass Personally I find myself at group members. But the reason a moody, crescendo-ing guitar and the drummer girl from The odds with too many single we're ail here is the same. Very solo. It's still refreshing though and Boredoms also plays a silver horn. selections and the opening 'bright Important Indie. leads into the very Gigolo Aunts-y The music is conceptual and free- yellow sun' is no exception in this What do Cheap Trick, Syd (and hence Cheap Trick-y again) form: I wouldn't listen to it at case. It's laboured in tone and the Barrett, a brilliant title track and a 'queen of the in-between'. home, as they say, but here it choice of imagery, guns and crud band name have in common? Elsewhere, the Syd Barrett makes perfect sense. The mosh poison, seems to be too obviously Living room scene, the new album connection is consolidated (think: gets quite violent as does the linked to hang on the Hersh's by diilon fence, that's what. For Gigolo Aunts) via the lilting, early stage. After a poem castigating schizoid hook. But after this four minutes they breeze their Floydian psychedelia of 'high several hostile NME hacks, Julia miscreant, you're find little to Carolina way through an school sap', and that previous later accepted the challenge of regret in the next eleven tracks. invigorating piece of loud but very premonition begins to blossom. creating a song about ugly men (a 'Start' crashes in with a melodic guitar rock leaving you Alas, it never actually suggestion from the floor). After reprise most writers would pay for. with the pleasant premonition that manages to bear fruit because for citing William Burroughs and "I'll start at his knees and I'll end you're going to see two superb the last third or so they decide to Everett True as good examples, in his dreams" could be about bands when they support the Black go lilting a tad too much and end Julia stares out Kim. "No!" cries almost anything but if it's Crowes at the Royal Albert Hall. up wilting instead. Not that we Kim in mock horror, "Thurston's seduction you're after, I don't think Oh, and it sounds like Cheap Trick should end on a negative note. Try cute!". We all laugh at this little in it will fail you. And as single word (with a soupcon of the Faces "a rather good" band instead of a joke, but then all pop music is affirmations such as 'shimmer' and thrown in). "superb" one and go to see them codified isn't it? 'hazing' intersperse with delicate anyway... (7) 0 vignettes like 'calm down, calm down', it becomes easy to get Fluffy bras on the Word are where rejuvenate hotpants. The smaller swept away. it's at. Or so it seems as people and shinier the better, displayed The most obviously Kristian from all walks of life have been under the new minis with waist- tracks are the twin peaks of overheard saying "fluffy under- high front slits (and no thighs!). 'crabtown' and 'that's all you wear!" in varying tones of shock line). Whole shelf units in M&S and The post-war influence is wanted'. Where 'crabtown' lazes and derision. The best (the only?) pages in fashion mags are being massive this spring. Red lips, into the distant poignancy that was in High St fluffy couture is at Ad- dedicated to the ultimate desire cropped pastel twin sets with so earnestly displayed on 'hips and Hoc, where bras are £38 and the icon - the G-string. Or, as skirts elbow length sleeves, sleeveless makers', 'that's all you wanted' theme is extended to dresses lengthen (to the knee) and tighten, shifts and cardigans - tight around raises angelic wings whilst (snakeskin, patent, plastic, rubber the obvious new alternative is to the neck or dropped into a V. covering its ambiguous meaning. and leopard) at an equally go without... Cigarette pant trouser suits and Yet these two apart, the lengthened price. If the student Catwalks this season skinny patent belts emphasise the consistency of 'university' is loan is looking drained, I say style suggested the renewal of an age waist and legs, while rich underpinned by the presence of a requires that you grab a Evostick old concept to ensure a smoother cashmere mixes are on their way band. The downwards rhythm and slaughter your teddies. overall line, whip out your to supply the glamour. Rustic and progression of 'hazing' is perhaps Underwear does seem to be grandma's long line girdles. For neutrals are at last passe the singular example but you get the thing d la moment. Post-war the 90's twist, add a transparent (hurrah!!), and replaced with the impression that the slow slim line dressing in smooth fitting dress, stilettoes and little else. pastel plastics. Palest lilac, pretty swagger of 'teller' and force of 'no material mixes raises the question Lovely. What this has done, pinks and luminous transparency of the Dreaded VLP (visible pantie however is to potentially are set fair as the ways ahead. ©

E0J009S FELIX HD Standby

© the ravings of a demented irishman? ^ class

Polish food is not just potatoes. In fact very few potatoes appear on the menu at Ognisko Polskie in South Kensington. Instead you are presented with an enticing but expensive insight into the delights of Polish food. The setting is stunning, fit for any Polish aristocrat who happens to walk by. The pink and gold dining room with windows onto the lawn outside sets off the beautifully presented and served menu. The pickled herrings with sour cream, sweet onion and black bread (£2.50) provide a staggering start to the meal. The herrings are soft, salty and succulent, making the English roll mop look like a peasant in Judging from this latest rendition of until Claudia's ringlets sprung right been better if Anne Rice hadn't comparison. the Dracula myth, vampires are back the moment she cut them off.) written the script. Authors never For main course the choice of keen on theatricals. Avoid dark Claudia masterminds an have the guts to edit firmly. Tom traditional Polish fare is infiltrated streets on the way home from escape by tempting Lestat with Cruise is almost unrecognisable and by an occasional continental dish. interview with the vampire, blood from dead meat, an absolute superb as an antidote to Louis' However, the roast goose served because your vampire film-goer will no-no for vampires. She and Brad dreary narrative; a more interesting with red cabbage and potato be a cross vampire. tip his body into a swamp and whisk actor than Brad Pitt might have had dumpling (£11.50) was unques- It's 1791, and Brad Pitt is Louis, off to Paris in time for the next trouble with stodgy Louis. Neither tionably Eastern European. Its the disconsolate owner of a New century. This is an opportunity for Cruise nor Pitt are likely to combination of flavour, texture Orleans plantation. He's lost his lots of Les Liaisons Dangereuses antagonise female fans with the and colour went straight to the wife in childbirth, and has little to outfits and the 'French Accent supposed homoerotica: it's hardly gastronomic G-spot. This was live for when an extrovert but lonely Department', as Claudia has a developed and easy to miss in all exciting food, perfectly cooked and vampire offers him eternal youth. fabulous time socialising and Louis the scene-shifting. As for the film presented in large, attractive So Louis becomes a reluctant searches high society for European being a lament for the days when potions. vampire in the graveyard where his vampires. However, when they turn you could suck all the blood you Leaning towards the wife is buried. Vampire vision shows up, they're a bit too naughty for wanted without getting AIDS, give continental side of the menu, the him the statue on her grave slowly Brad, the vampire with a human me a break. beef with potato roast and opening its eyes, but the film never soul. In fact, Brad's rather drippy, In shallow grave, Alex, Juliet caramelized shallots (£11.50) was makes anything of this aspect of and we never see him eat in public and David are looking for a simple cooking, elevated to Anne Rice's novel. again. In the book, Louis has an flatmate. However, shortly after he exceptional heights. The beef was The two hungrily cruise New affair with Armand, a cultured has moved in, they find him in bed beautifully pink in the middle and Orleans' bars by night. Tom Cruise, Parisian vampire; in the film they dead, naked, and in possession of a extremely light on the jaw. The excellent as Lestat, concentrates on meet a couple of times before Brad suitcase containing a large amount potato roast was disappointingly juicy women, with gorgeous young mopes off to the rest of Europe on of money. They decide to keep the soggy but still highly enjoyable men for seconds, but for a long his own, upset with all that old money and conceal the body by and the shallots added a sweet time Brad's conscience allows him world decadence. dismembering and disfiguring it edge to the meal. only rats, chickens and poodles. Back in the twentieth century, before burying it in a "shallow For dessert the cheesecake is Their relationship's less father-son Brad returns to America. He follows grave". possibly the best in London. This is and more camp, except that Brad a faint sniff of vampire, which turns The film begins with an a traditional cheesecake, baked in Pitt's rather dreary. He pines. To out to be Lestat, alive after all, but a amusing scene in which the three the oven and served in a satisfying cheer him up, Lestat makes a bit shaky. Leaving Lestat hiding out, main characters are interviewing wedge big enough for two. Its vampire out of Claudia, a tattered Brad decamps to San Francisco and prospective flatmates. However, texture was scrumptious: light but orphan of the plague slums. Brad tells his story to journalist Christian after the discovery of the dead creamy with a sweet, cheesy, melt has torched his mansion in a fit of Slater. Slater's excited by the scoop body, the film suddenly becomes in the mouth taste. With sultanas the blues - and the first of many (suspense-lovers stop here), jumps very bleak; the proposal and dotted throughout and a crunchy glorious fires in the film - but they into his car, and guess what? execution of the plan to mutilate chocolate coating, this provided apparently have sufficient funds for The scenery's lush throughout, and bury the body leaves the the perfect end to an almost Claudia's education (and boy does but the film jumps from rioting audience feeling uncomfortable (at perfect meal. she run through piano teachers). slaves to sucking prostitutes' blood times, the audience may feel that To fault the food at Ogniska's Initially she's a vile lisping brat, but to doll shops to vampire gang-rapes they are laughing in the wrong is extremely difficult. The prices you warm to her because she gets to parent-child scenes, which rather places) reflect the skill, time and effort all the best gags. Anyhow, Lestat wastes the audience's feelings. Without 'big name' actors and that go into each dish. It is an runs the household, but gets rather Louis' first rat-eating attempts are because of its storyline, Shallow absolute pleasure to eat here, so if overbearing, and positively unsym- fun, like the Claudia scenes, Grave undoubtedly lacks the you want a treat, go along and for pathetic when Claudia realises making the film agreeable, if jerky. commercial appeal of some of its a couple of hours you can be that she'll never grow up. (All vampires It's certainly a blockbuster - from American competitors currently on Polish aristocrat. © have long hair, apparently, and I Neil Jordan, director of 'Crying release. Nevertheless, it's a well- thought this a good gap in the Game' (arthouse turned big made film which is extremely well Ogniska Polskie, 55 Princes' Gate, market for a specialist hairdresser success) - but would probably have acted. 0 Exhibition Road, SW7

[nb due to unforeseen stupidity, the author of the Interview with the Vampire review was not tintin but KC We apologise to everyone - alright now?] FELIX AEROBICS CLASSES

CET FIT FOR 1995

to to AEROBICS + BEER = THE FITflESS BELLY * FUI1 CLUB

PROFESSIONAL INSTRUCTORS STUDENT PRICES

SURVIVAL OF THE FITEST See Felix Diary for

Class AT SOUTHSIDE GYM Schedule! The Are you hard up? FELIX The Ancient Universities (those founded before 1865) are writing to their M.P.'s explaining that students who study at these SlElVlE N DAY Universities are being hit by student poverty. There is a Government Debate on student Hardship on the 30th January. Council is asking you to join students from Oxford, Cambridge, St. Andrews etc. by writing to you M.P. and telling them how hard up you are. Ask him/her to support the students on fPIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY MONDAY lUfSDAY WfDflfSDAY I ItlURSDAY Monday 30th January. When the M.P.'s were at college they had a full grant, access to housing benefit and income support Aerobics Class 12.30pm Cathsoc 12pm Islamic Society 1pm Gliding Club 8.15am Gliding Club 8.15am Japan Soc 12-2pm GO Club 12-2pm Body Toning level I, SG (R) Informal mass and lunch, during the vacation. Please write and ask for their support. If you Friday Prayers, SG (R) Lasham Airfield. Come to Lasham Airfield. Come to meeting, Ante Room (R) Ante Room, Sherfield (R) Guide Artsoc 12.30pm Bagrit centre, Mech Eng (R). don't know who your M.P. is ask at the Union Office they have a ICU Rag 1.10pm Thursday meething if it is Thursday meething if it is IC Roller Blade Soc Aerobics Class 12.30pm Meeting, UDH (R) S+G Outdoor Club 12pm Rag Meeting EL (R) your first time. (R) your first time. (R) 12.15pm Legs,Turns & Bums.SG (R) list of each M.P. and their constituency. Exploration Society 1 pm Meeting. Welcome, SL (R) Aerobics Classes IC Roller Blade Soc Aerobics Class 12.30pm Meeting for all at SL Y.H.A. 12.30pm Meeting at Southside Yogasoc 12.15pm 5.30pm 10.45am Intermediate level III, SG followed by Hockey in Weekly meeting, SL (R). Upper Lounge (R) Beginners' classes, SG, (R). Times Advanced Step level IV, Ramp skating at Brixton. Hyde Park (R) Yacht Club 1pm Ski Club 1-2pm IC Sailing Club 12.30pm (R) Regular Meeting SG (R) Skate Park, meet at SL (R) n College Communion Physics LT2 (R) Meeting, SL (Upper) (R) Sign up to sail! SL (R) Labour Club 12.30pm IC Roller Blade Soc 2pm IC Wargames Club 1 pm 12.30pm Parachute Club 1 pm Aerobics Class 5.30pm Quasar Club 12.30pm Places Clause IV Debate and Skating and Hockey in Table Tennis Rm (R) Holy Trinity, Prince Table Tennis Room, UB (R) Schedule week ending 19/1/95 Beginners level I, SG (R) Meeting, SL (Upper) (R) (SG) Southside Gym STOIC Conference Vote at SL Hyde Park/Kensington Roller Blade Soc 2pm Consort Road (R) Conservative Club 1pm Concert Band 5.45pm Photo Society 1 -2pm (SL) Southside What's the big idea then? II Faster, lighter: less drag more power. Gdns. Meet at SL (R) Skating and Hockey in All welcome, SL (R) Motorcycle club 12.45pm Meeting, SL (Upper) (R) Rehearsal. Open to Lounge Free minibus service Malaysian Society 7pm Hyde Park/Kensington UCO 1pm weekly meeting, SL, (R). Conservative Club 1pm April Snows B/W arty short - do not adjust your set Malaysian Night. One Gdns. Meet at SL (R) players of any ability, Quasar Club 12.45pm Meeting, SL (Upper) (R) (UB) Union Building Babewatching Colourfull MTV shorts ahoy home from union Bible study, Mat B342 (R) thousand million smiles, Opsoc 2pm Great Hall (R) Quasar Trip, UL (R) Gliding Club 1pm (UDH) Union Dining building, 11.30 to 2am Circus Skills Soc 5-8pm Roaches Thrive All that's seedy from rag week to be held in the Great Rehearsal for 'Cabaret' in IC Dance Club 6pm IC Wargames Club 1pm Meeting, Aero 266 (R) Hall Table Tennis Rm UB (R). Mystery slot er... havent decided get Hall great food, CH. (R) Rock and Roll, UDH (R) Table Tennis Rm (R) Get Fit with Louisa 1 pm (UG) Union Gym Aerobics Class 5.30pm entertainment and a lucky Opsoc 7.30pm Islamic Society 1 pm Aerobics, UG (R) At other times of the day, STOIC will show the One O'clock News, Neighbours, Advanced level IV, SG (R) (UL) Union Lounge draw. Tickets at counter Rehearsal for Cabaret in 'Judaism, Israel & Islam' Jazz Dance 4-5.30pm IC Dance Club 6pm (EL) Ents Lounge Star Trek : TNG, MTv etc... Coming up soon is our latest issue film guide, including a UDH (R) Abdur Rahman Civ Eng 20 Advanced classes, SG (R) daily near senior common beginners, JCR (R) (JCR) Junior Common reviews of Star Trek Generations, The Nightmare Before Christmas and Pulp Fiction. Conservative Soc 1 pm Hellenic Society 5pm Room or at the door. Wine Tasting Soc 6pm Room 'Law and Order' Theresa The cutting of the New All times subject to alteration without notice. Contents may settle in transit. No £5, £4 UDH (R) (SMHMS) St. Mary's DramSoc 6.30pm Gorman MP, Mech Eng Year's cake, Mech Eng user servicable parts inside. Nicam stereo in selected regions. Subtitles on 666. rm542 concourse Meeting, UB (R) Any ideas? 3rd floor of the Union Building and left, or you can contact us at any OSC 1 pm Aerobics Class 5.30pm Leonardo Society 6.30- time, on (0171 59)4 8104 or email stoic@ic. 8.30pm Hon. Treasurer's meeting, Intermed. level 3, SG (R) CCR (R) IC Choir 6.15-8pm STOIC is The Student Television Of Imperial College Art classes Civ Eng Rm SMALL ADS All submissions for the Seven Day Guide must be Aerobics Class 1.15pm Rehearsal Rm 342 MEng (R) 101(R) Beg in ners/l ntermediate Christian Union 6.30pm Careers Office Canoe Club 7.30pm given in by 6pm on the Friday before the week of level I I, SG (R) Huxley 308 (R) Rm 310, 10.00am- Sports Centre pool, any STOIC 1.30pm Leonardo Society 6.30- 5.15pm, Mon to Fri publication. (Not including those which have (R) level of ability, (R) Production meeting, Stoic 8.30pm Carrers Information RADIO fOR THE Dfflf Chess Club 7.30pm Studios (R) Art classes Civ Eng Rm Milkround Closing Date at the end of the entries - the submissions will 1 st team match, SCR (R) Ten Pin Bowling 2.15pm 101(R) Four is on Monday 23rd Caving Club 9pm automatically entered for you). meet outside Aero (R). January. Applications in Meeting SL (Upper) (R) IC Dance Club 7pm it, &m Jazz Dance 3.30-5pm Beginners, JCR (R) before 4pm. Beginners class, SG (R) Jazz Big Band 7-10pm Summer Vacation Aerobics Classes 5pm Table Tennis Rm (R) Training Step level III, SG (R) Motorcycle club 7.30pm Apply at Careers Office IC Chess Club 6.30pm SL, bike run round L'dn,(R) for UROP opportunities Club night, SCR (R). Ladies' Football 8.30pm Improve your Interview WHAT D'y«j IC Choir 7-10pm Training, contact Union Skills short course for Rehearsal in Great Hall office pigeon hole, UG (R) postgrads Wed 25th Jan rpunii in Huxley rm 343 2-4pm -- c [ijr sign up in Careers Office _^ , Even Cowgirls Get The Princess Carabo Nostradamus Eat Drink Man Woman Amateur Postgraduates Interview with a Vampire Shallow Grave Blues Mathematical Advice (I I | MGM Trocadero Odeon Kensington Renoir, Brunswick Sq Renoir, Brunswick Sq Centre Helpline MGM Fulham Road MGM Fulham Road Electric, 191 Portobello Rd 0777 434 0037 0426 974666 Ext 48533,Dr. Geoff cinmfl 0771 370 2636 0I7T 370 2636 0777 792 2020 0777 837 8402 0777 837 8402 S. Ken tube and then bus tube; Piccadilly Circus tube; Kensington High St tube; Russell Square tube; Russell Square Stephenson, Maths Dept. S. Ken tube and then bus tube; Notting Hill Gate 2.10,4.40, 7.20,9.402, 2.40, 5.00, 7.30, 9.45 1.15, 4.00, 6.45, 9.30 12.55, 3.25, 5.55, 8.30 1.45, 4.05, 6.25, 8.45 1.10,4.10, 7.05,9.40 tickets; £5, cones before tickets; £6, half price tickets; £6, £6.50, before tickets; £6, 1 st perf £4 tickets; £6, 1 st perf £4 tickets; £6, Mon-Fri tickets; £6, Mon-Fri 3.30pm £3, after 3.30pm Mon, Tue-Fri before 6pm 5pm £3.50 with cones £2.50 with cones £2.50 before 6pm and students before 6pm and students £4 £3.50 £3.50 £3.50 outt li

Veruca Salt NME Brats Night Mike Scott Belly Gene Diesel Park West Francis Dunnery + Supergrass + Marion Spiritualised Hackney Empire + Denzil + Rub Ultra + Skunk Anansie + Galliano WaterRats Garage train; Hackney Central BR + Echobelly tube; Kings Cross Jongleurs MUSIC tube; Highbury&lslington + Menswear 0787 985 2424 Astoria LA2 0171 278 3879 tube; Camden Town 0777 607 7878 Forum doors; 7.00pm tube; Tottenham Court Rd tube; Tottenham Court Rd doors; 9pm 0777 287 0932 doors; 8pm tickets; £10.00 0171 434 0403 tube; Kentish Town Tube tickets; 3.50 tickets; £7 tickets; £7 077T 434 0403 fLSfWttfPf doors; 6.30pm doors; 7pm 0777 284 2200 tickets; £7 tickets; £7.00 doors; 6.40pm Thames Barrier tickets; £9.50 Unity Way, Eastmoor St SE18 0787 854 7373 BR; Charlton the 15 min Man Ray: Cubism, The Institute of Anxiety: Ifs A Pleasure: Nine The Painted Page: Wolfgang Laib, Beverly Cadaveri Eccellenti - Art 95 walk. Dadaism and Surrealism works from the mythical contemporary artists Italian renaissance Semmes: beeswax and photographs of Sicillian times; Mon-Fri 10am- skirts aristocrats by Max Business Design Centre, 5pm, Sat, Sun 10.30am- book illustration Royal Festival Hall Serpentine, Kensington ICA, The Mall Jourdan 52 Upper St 5.30pm. Adults £2.50. APIS Galleries, Southbank Camden Arts, Arkwright Rd Gdns 0777 930 3647 0777 359 3535 Russian submarine Royal Academy, 0777 927 0600 0777 435 5224 0777 402 0343 tube; Charing Cross EC One, 34 Underwood St tube; Angel adjacent to the barrier. Burlington House tube; Waterloo tube; Finchley bus; 9, 10, 12, 52 times; Daily 12-7.30pm, 087 968 6040 time; Wed-Fri 1 lam-8pm, Adults £3.95, cones £3. 0177 439 7438 time; Daily 10am-10pm times; Daily 10am-6pm Fri until 9pm ipj -rue specie miuta^v, Soo>xefu f\&£ tube; Piccadilly times; Tue-Thu 12-8pm, tube; old Street Sat 11 am-8pm, Sun entry; Free entry; ICA day pass £1.50 entry; Free times; Daily 10am-6pm Fri-Sun 12-6pm time; Mon-Fri 1 lam-6pm 11 am-5pm TRAirJet) TO Mox/e ^ITH ft toLfoiSt. Until Feb 12 tickets; £4.50, cones £3 entry; Free Until 29th Jan entry; £6, cones £4.50, Until 22nd Jan five day pass £10

FELIX is produced for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board. It is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince FELIX Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (Tel: 0171 594 8072, Fax: 0171 589 4942). Editor: Owain Bennallack. Copyright FELIX 1995. ISSN 1040-0711 MM FELIX 20JIM95 VACANCY All Clubs and

WARDENSHIP ^iiiiiiiiiiir LINSTEAD HALL

The college invites applications for the position of Warden at Linstead Hall which falls vacant with effect from Easter 1995.

Wardens receive rent free accommodation in return for pastoral duties within their residence. The post is open to all non-undergraduate members of the college.

If you would like further information and an the North West corner of Beit quad (preferably application form contact The Personnel Office, iiiiiiiiis^ Extension 45514, 55512, 45510 Room 511, Sherfield Building. It!!lliii8.lll!lfi

Closing date for applications: 17 February 1995

Local Special! RED E SZ" VACANCY Special Express Lunch Menu served between 12:00 to 2:00pm and 6:00 to 7:00pm at RED of Knightsbridge 0171-584 7007 ASSISTANT The best Chinese without artificial colouring and flavours. WARDENSHIP A. Crispy lamb with wok fried rice and seasonal vegetables 5.00 B. Sun Sing Chicken with wok fried rice HOLBEIN/WILLIS JACKSON and seasonal vegetables 5.00 C. spare ribs with wok fried rice and HOUSE seasonal vegetables 5.00 The college invites applications for the position of D. Aromatic Crispy duck with pancakes 5.00 Assistant Warden at Holbein/Willis Jackson House E. Buddha pot rice (vegetarian) 5.00 which is currently vacant. F. Beef in black beans with wok fried rice and seasonal vegetables 5.00 Assistant Wardens receive rent free G. Special fried rice (prawn, pork etc.) 5.00 accommodation in return for pastoral duties within I. Singapore noodles (prawn, pork spicy) 5.00 their residence. The post is open to all non- J. Hot and Sour fish with wok fried rice undergraduate members of the college. and seasonal vegetables 5.00 If you would like further information and an Take away to your offices is also available application form contact The Personnel Services BROMPTON ROAD Manager on extension 45517.

EGERTON GDN N Closing date for applications: 31st January 1995

RED 8 Egerton Garden Mews Knightsbridge SW3 Why not visit Barclays Bank's Advice Surgery?

Every Thursday 12-2pm No matter who you bank with,

in we are here to help. Junior Common Room surciery is the or Union Building

STARTING JANUARY 26TH 1995

BANKING WITH BARCLAYS Personal service from Barclays South Kensington branch

HELPING NEW GRADUATES MAKE THE MOST OF THEIR EARLY WORKING LIFE

The Graduate Manager The role of a Graduate Manager is to focus on the financial needs of recent graduates who are now in full-time employment. Jenny Thomson, Graduate Manager at South Kensington can offer a wide range of professional support, help and guidance to graduates who are earning a regular salary for the first time.

Many graduates still owe money from their student days. Jenny will provide you with a more personal service based upon your individual needs. She will help with any financial difficulties you may encounter and give full details of the Barclays Graduate Package including overdrafts* and loans* at rates preferential to those normally offered by Barclays.

What's more, Barclays provides this special service entirely free of charge.

*To apply for an overdraft or loan you must be 18 or over (20 in Jersey). Barclays is a responsible lender and when considering your application for borrowing your financial circumstances will be appraised. And remember, if you should run into difficulties please contact us immediately. Sport

Hockey 0 the dying seconds their ULU player was sent off, ending a Sport IC Team Score Opposition IC Mens 1st vs Royal Free Hospital jolly amicable game on slightly hostile terms. Badminton Ladies 12 - 4 West Five The first match of the new year brought us all back together for IC Ladies 1st vs Barts 0 Hockey Ladies lsi 1 - 1 Sunbury an important clash. The lack of Ladies 1st 3 - 0 Barts fitness, caused by too much The atmosphere was electric, the Hockey turkey and not enough exertion rain was torrential and the stick Hockey Mens 1st 1 - 0 Royal Free Hosp. (if any), meant the defence was tackles were rife! Yet our very solid, but stationary, victorious team came through to especially the goalie. The win, a victory which should put opposition, sporting most us at the top of the London round, the team rallied. The fashionable 'Rupert the Bear' League. Badminton 0 maltloaf and blackcurrant juice shorts, did their best to thwart IC Ladies vs West Five provided the motive for the our effort. Their keeper had an iC Ladies lstvs Sunbury 0 subsequent massacre. excellent game, and cunningly The spooky decor of Charlie It was undoubtedly the best hid the ball inside his kicker One player down (due to the Half Chaplain's orphanage provided performance of the season and then fell into the goal - Pint Kid's hangover and our key the setting for the team's third was sweet revenge from the unfortunately this does not left wing skiing in Colorado!) win of 1995. Whether is was match earlier in the year. count, as Piglet pointed out. "We things didn't look too good! Charlie's ghost giving us a Get well soon to Carolyn's woz robbed guv." was the general After conceding a goal in the first blessing or whether it was the car. Best wishes to Paul's rash opinion. half, we thought our days were rare performance of our inspiring and Elaine's friendship bracelets. The second half started with numbered but in true David Icke Barbara is debatable. (And Carolyn, we won't tell a whistle and ended with one too style the skipper pulled one back The game was close at first anyone about chatting up the taxi [How unusual! - Ed.] but in- for us. "We are not worthy... we with the score level at 2 - 2. Once driver!!) between Son of Satan, inspired are not worthy..." Final score was Elaine put down her friendship Basically, we won 'cos we woz by Captain Jazz's rousing talk, one all to a team that has not lost bracelets, Carolyn turned her better than them. converted a penalty to give us the this season. knickers inside out and Claire goal we thoroughly deserved. In put on her shorts the right way

Imperial College Graduate Fellowship tenable at Tulane University, New Orleans, Help! USA for a Two-Year Master of Science programme commencing August 1995 Yes, that's right... we need your help. The sports page will only work if reports or results Tulane is one of America's most distinguished private universities. The Graduate School of the University is are submitted for publication. offering a fellowship for an IC Student who has If you want some advice or help on writing a graduated, or who expects to graduate next summer, with report, please pop in for a chat or email me a good honours degree. Fields of study offered are: ([email protected]). If you disagree with the biology, biomedical eng., chemical eng., chemisty, civil way the sports page is being run (perhaps you and environmental eng., computer science, electrical don't like the ticks and crosses) then it's even eng., geology, mathematics, mechanical eng. and more important for you to tell us, so that we physics. can change it. Tuition and university fees will be covered, plus a stipend Remember, it's YOUR sports page. of $5,750 payable over 8 months. The student is I I responsible for the payment of insurance, activities fees, Recreation Center fees, health center fees as well as personal living expenses. It is possible that part-time Catfish Xtra ' work on campus can be found.

Answers to last week's Elimination: Applicants must take (at their own expense) the General

a.Central Park b.Old Man c.The Keys d.Brie, Superior e.Golden Gate and Subjects test of the Graduate Record Examination, t.Grand Canyon g.Ford, Dodge h.Liberty Bell i.New Jersey which may be taken here in London. j.Donkey, Elephant k.Bible Belt I.Avenue, Yellowstone m.Space program n.Sunshine State o.Death, Monument p.World Trade q.Bald Eagle Further details and application forms are available from r.Stars, Stripes s.lvy League t.Lincoln Memoriol Miss Jaqueline Sweet, Asst. Registrar, Room 319,

The word left over was city. Sherfield Building. Prospective applicants should contact Miss Sweet immediately.

FELIX 20JM195