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THE TEXA.S CA.V'E:I: l D E c E M B E R 1 9 7 0 COVER: Christmas Trees? No, but our message is PEACE. That's Bill Elliott in Fallen Stalagmite Cave. Photo by your Editor. The TEXAS CAVER is a monthly publication of the Texas Speleological Association and is published in S3.n Angelo, Texas. Material for publication should be typed double-spaced and sent to the Editor at 2302 W. Avenue J, San Angelo, Texas 76901 no later than the first of the month of publication. Grotto news and trip reports should be sent to the NEWS Editor, Mike Moody, at 306 Park Drive, Apt. 107 -C, Eueless, Texas 76039. Subscriptions are $4.00 per year for 12 issues and all subscriptions begin with the January issue. All requests for subscriptions should be sent to James Jasek at 1218 Melrose, Waco, Texas 76710. Persons subscribing · after the first of the year will receive all back issues for that year. Single copies are avaliable at 40¢ each postage paid anywhere in the U.S. (c) 1970 by TEXAS CAVER, STAFF Editor .......... ,, ........ Carl E. Kunath News Editor,, .. , ....... , . Mike Moody Assistant Assistant. .. , ... , Glenda Kunath Proof Reader .... , , .. , .... Frodo Baggins Printer ..... , ........ , .. , Jon Everag·e ·· Assembly,, .. , ..... , .•... Rice Grotto Distribution . , , ... , . , ..... James Jasek THE TEXAS CAVER, VOLUME XV, NUMBER 12 * * * * * * CONTENTS * * * * * * PAGE 225 THE GENERAL OF ISES by Jay Arnold---(reprint) 227 CARTOON by Charlie Loving 228 FRENCH CAVING HAT by Billy Campbell 2 30 THE LEAD by Ken Griffin REVIEW by cek 2 3 1 WHERE THE HELL IS MY CAVING GEAR? (EPIC #3) by C~ A. Vermonger 2 3 2 CAVER OF THE MONTH---Ronnie Fieseler HELP! (Do you have it?) 2 33 THE CHAIRMAN SPEAKS (The lame duck's last gasp.) 2 34 NOTES ON MIDNIGHT CAVE by cek 2 3 5 MEMORANDUM FROM THE TSS by A. Richard Smith 2 37 EDITORIAL---Kunath's 1 1/2¢ worth for the last time. 2 38 TSS (Brewster County is next.) CAVE RESCUE? QUOTE 2 3 9 1970---THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS (Photos) 240 TRIPS---Where they went, what they did. 241 QUOTE 244 QUOTES AND ETC. 245 NEWS & HISTORY 246 NOTICE: BOG MEETING SPELEO-MAR T CARTOON by Bill Elliott EXPIRED! 247 INDEX FOR 1970 TEXAS CAVER The TEXAS CAVER, December, 1970 Page 225 THE General Of lses By Jay Arnold, NSS #6482, SCG Herein unfolds the sad tale of General Ises. He was once a noble fellow, known far and wide for deeds of heroism and strength. Many a speleoexploit dangled from his lordly reputation and fear and awe were instilled by him into young and old alike. He was a fine personage indeed. But then, alas, as fate would have it, this fearless denizen of the world beneath our feet fell impossibly in love with his one and only true desire, THE CAVE. Ah, it was a romance to stir the heartstrings of even the most carbide-encrusted of trogs. For the Cave's treasures were imense, indeed, nearly untapped, and quite fabled among those in the land of gold. Thus it was that feverishly and with un paralleled en.ergy and drive the General set out into the depths of his oh so dear cavern, wrenching as he did, by the love beads of his brow, her innermost secrets and mysteries. None knew the Cave so well as he. It was soon said tho, that the affair of poor Ises had become too strong, that the sweet inner atmospheres of the Cave are too overwhelming to the sensitive soul and that what once was a lover's tryst had turned illicit and sour. "Nonsense!" cried GeneralIses to those who would point the salacious finger and in the quiet of the campground and meetings of Grot yell "shame!" for our Gen eral would hear none of their talk, he cared only for his Cavern so dear and her soul-soothing wonders by which him she had possessed. The love affair grew and grew until those watching sighed, "He goes simply too far! It will be his ruin! Poor soul!" and oh how the air was rent with shrieks from his admirers of old. For it was their hero, the magnificent GeneralIses of legend ary fame who had drunk too, too deeply of the forbidden waters of the cave. And soon the closer admirers of the stricken Lord began to notice some dark and sinister changes in the once noble Ises. He spoke no longer of THE CAVE, as it was for so long known, but alas to him it became the cherished one, the deepest and most intimate, the most holy of all holies. He forsook the magical history of the cavern and commenced to whisper to it in the most awful of heathen ceremonies and called it by a new name-- -MY CAVE! "But oh, he goes this time much too far, fellow Trogs. I say to you he must be stopped ere it is too late!" And again the air over the golden kingdom was pierced by woebegone wailing from the faithful. Secret plans were made, hushed proposi- • tions were put about among the masses all in hopes of rescuing their glorious Lord, GeneralIses. The General, however, canny thing that he was, heard the cave murmur to him of impending danger. "Beware, my lover,'' it sighed to him in every crevice and cranny where they had for so long and so passionately gamboled. "Beware of those who would detract, oh General, and of those who would try to come between us and take you away. Don't let them do it! You must stop them, my lord." And thus in the unholiest of diabolitry did whisper the cave to our General once so fair. So the General, bereft of his senses and plunged into utmost of despair in the face of a possible end to his unquenchable affair, chose to turn his back on admir ers of old, fellow travelers of the deeps, once so dear. And in his lust-besotted brain he concocted the ULTIMATE PLAN. "I shall present the ULTIMATE PLAN Page 226 The TEXAS CAVER, December, 1970 to that most powerful god, the NSS. They shall save my cave. Yes, they must! They will!" And so the hapless General, once so fair, forged in the dark recesses of his now inaccessible brain the intricate workings of the ULTIMATE PLAN and laid his masterpiece at the feet of great god NSS. But the magnificent spirit leaders of those who trod in the paths of the underworld would not have it. "We are busy elsewhere, 11 they stormed. "Do not bother us with your plan!" With this, the General returned to his illicit lover of now many a year and wailed "They will have none of it, my cave. What am I to do?'' His sobs were most piteous indeed. For a long moment the great cavern lay in the most abysmal of silences with only the steady drip, drip, drip of her heartbeat to be heard. And then she whispered ''Go, my love, to the NPS ..• the NPS ..• NPS ..• NPS.'' As if struck awake from a dream the now desperate Ises leaped up, raced through the majestic redwood vale, and charged directly to the nearby control center of the even more powerful god NPS. And the NPS did listen, oh how they listened, indeed, to the tale of woe as it un folded from the poor General's soul. ''Gather about thee trusty slaves and stout re sources and material and we shall bestow upon your spelean brow the title of RULER OF THE CAVE!" Such did the NPS decree. Oh there was an abundance of new found joy in the deranged General's heart. "My cave, my cave, my cave!" he shreiked from the heights of the most mighty mounts and from the pinnacles of the most towering of trees. "But caution, my dear," whispered the cavern so beloved, "you must not allow the infidels to come again with their heavy soles and blinding flashes to further track and bespoil the innards of my bosom. You must hinder and restrict them so that their interest in me wanes. They must be stopped!" So the General declared himself General of Ises and would a many and complicat ed stricture into the ULTIMATE PLAN deviously designed to foil all challengers save only the most subservient and pliant. "I am your leader!" he thundered to the assembled multitudes, for many had awaited the unveiling of the ULTIMATE PLAN. "No longer shalt thou trespass into the most holy and sensitive labyrinthian depths of my cave. No more! Only I, and I alone, shall deem and properly anoint those of my disciples who shall assist me in the ULTIMATE PLAN. The old and wise among the former faithful cried "It is too much! We cannot tolerate it! We cannot pledge ourselves to the ULTIMATE PLAN! We rebel! Nay, nay,oh GeneralIses, we shall not be your slaves. You may dwell in the most vile of your incestuous ways. We shall not save you when you cry out in need. 11 And they went away from him. And indeed, as they had foretold, it was not long ere cry in need he did, for there were not enough of the faithful to perpetrate the ULTIMATE PLAN. His dis ciples searched high and low for the neophyte and the subservient. "We must have more" bellowed the now enraged General. "Bring me more slaves!" But there were no more to be had, for the faithful of old, with the wisest among them as the new lords, now spread far and wide into other lands in search of new and greater spelean riches.