THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES November 17, 1998 PAGE21 Sandler Almost Drowns

JAMIE PECK Retriever Wukly Swf!Writer

After his drippingly earnest turn in last spring's romantic comedy . is up to old tricks again in The Waterboy (** 112 out of four), and the surprise is how close this sports send-up comes to scoring a touchdown. The ex-Sat­ urday Night Live favorite here handles an 20th Century Fox accent not unlike his Cajun Man character Crowd Control: Denzel Washington and plays pigskin with the same bravado he makes a run for it in The Siege. used on the golf course in . He's got a love interest. but. just to reaffirm 1!. l ,,•:t• -~ ~ ,. , ..... : i ! f• ' ~· ~. ,, : r -~ . ~o; ~..I '-" ; ') h .l ." ,. _~ how far this movie is from gloppy Wedding .1;_ ~ territory, she can btte the head off a baby gator with just a swift jerk of the jowl. now in theatres ... So if these raucous antics will remind au­ diences of vintage Sandler. it's a pity that the Cap.1ule reviell'~ of current movie.1 by Victory Mara.vigan and Jamie Peck. star himself doesn't make it to the end zone. Antz <***'h> Who knew that the best Woody The crude comic is at his best when he's Allen comedy in years would be one in which rough and abrasive, qualities that made his he plays a neurotic. worrisome insect? Allen's turn in Gilmore a vulgar delight; his Warerboy ant Z -4195 rages against his colony's rigid caste character. a bayou man-child named Bobby Touch~tone Pictures system in this computer-animated. pint-siLed Boucher (pronounced Bobby Boo-shay). is Touchdown: coaches Adam Sandler in The Waterboy. gem. The story may be antennae-thin, but Am:: naive. soft-spoken and genuinely sweet. is so loaded with witty imagination. lavish spec­ What's worse. the movie can't seem to make of the Mud Dogs, a low-rent college football montage is a base keeper. It has to do with tacle and a stellar sense of humor that any nar­ rative flimsiness is beside the point. There are up its mind whether he should be laughed at team on a seemingly unending losing streak. pierced nipples. extra surprises for those who know a thing or or pitied. Bobby's not the kind of character Coach recruits Bobby as the Dogs' "water The one-joke Waterboy almost falters un­ two about bugs and bug anatomy. (Sec the Ill you'd care to kick while he's down. distribution engineer" after he's fired from der the same sloppy sentiment that crippled 10/98 issue of The Retriever Weekly for a full Thank goodness for some genuinely fun ny doing the same job for the University of The Wedding Singer, but lhe amusing com­ review.) -JP supporting actors, or The Waterboy would 's oft-winning Cougars. It is then bination of throwaway lines and outlandish John Carpenter's Vampires (*'h)An anemic have drowned fast. Kathy Bates, a farce MVP that Bobby reveals a bang-up talent for tack­ sight gags may prove that Sandler's more plot and not-quite-kosher special effcctl> tum this based on her stellar work here. is a delight as ling; imagining his opponents arc the assorted clever than his creative detractors might genre entry into a bloodfest with no teeth. James Bobby's no-nonsense mama, whether she's hecklers and jerks who have taunted him all claim. That Happy Gilmore and this diver­ Woods rs vampire slayer leader whose loutish whipping up an extravagant snake dinner team is nearly wiped om during a motel party. his life is all he needs to flaunt his on-field sion are career highs in a career that also lays With the help of buddy Daniel Baldwin and (complete with an apple in its mouth) or con­ prowess. The plot mechanics are painfully claim to the dreadful Billy Madisonand Air­ priest Tim Guiteau. Woods roams New Mexico stantly referring to all influences in the world obvious from there, but Sandler and Tim heads might not be saying much, but maybe to hunt down the master vampire responsible outside their swamp-shack home as "the Herlihy's screenplay sometimes coats them it's not without reward to hope that Sandler for the massacre. Boring and unsubstantial, the debit"-even Dick Clark. Henry WtnkJer also with a deliciously naughty sheen. What they ventures back to the recreational arena for film finally picks up about 90 minutes into the rac~s up a hefty laugh quotient as the coach insert into the climactic, slow-motion victory his next funny flick. Badminton, anyone? mix, but by then it's too little too late. ( 11/03/ 98) VM Practical Magic (**) The pleasant perfor­ mances of and Nicole Kidman. Very Bad Things Is a Very Good Thing as witch sisters plagued by a centuries-old curse. cast a lovely spell that the rest of this dark com­ VICfORY MARASIGAN premise just described. this film is a com­ edy-drama unfortunately lacks. The fir..t half of Retriever \~ukly Staff \Vri1er edy. It is in some ways a variation on There '.s Practical Magicholds promise. but the movie Something About Mary, with the macabre ultimate!) vexes more than it hexe~. The tone I have to hand it to director Peter Berg. substituted for the just plain gross. The pro­ grows inconsistent. much of the supernatural With his first feature. Very Bad Things ceedings arc made all the more shocking by goings-on lack a decent explanation and the fool­ (***),he's delivered a story so altematingly the fact that these are normal guys-next-door ish climax. involving the PTA and an exorcism. hilarious and repulsive that, by the time it's doing ... well, very bad things. takes itself a bit too seriously. ( 11/03/98) -JP over. you don't know whether you actually Though the live leads seem more suited to (**) Chris Tucker's squcnly self and franuc antics render him completely unbeliev­ liked the movie or not. Indeed. I don't think the demands of wacky comedy. some (espe­ able as a rogue LAPD detective. but things be­ any ftlm in recent memO!) has caused such cially Ellen regular Jeremy Piven) are able come a little easier to swallow once he teams large groups of moviegoers to get up and walk to pull off unhinged grief and mania quite up with 's Hong Kong in~pcctor to out of the theater at regular intervals. It·s not effectively. The resened Favreau. the film's crack a kidnapping ca:-.e. This smooth odd that the film is poor!) made: it's that Verr moral anchor. makes good as the tense groom couple-pairing makes for some good culture Bad Things grabs hold of you and squee7es who just wishes the madness would all just clash comedy: it's too bad,then.that Rtt.lh Hour until you literally can't take it any more. go away. Slater's aphasic Robert is a look at slows down far too early thanks to a heaping At the film's outset. Berg fools us into what his Heathers character might have be­ helping of racist Asian jokes and a virtual thinking we'll be watching a City Slickers­ come if he'd sunived that film and gone into gridlock of action movie cliches. (I 0/?0/98) real estate. Diaz. as f-'avrcau 's future bride, JP type weekend adycnturc. as five young-and­ up-and-coming 30 somethtng!) (\\ ild guys turns out to be the lilm 's most eccentric per­ The Siege<***) Edward Zwick. 's much-bally­ Polygram Jeremy Piven. Daniel )tern. . sonalit). a woman so hell-bent on having her hlXled lhe 'i1ege is not the.; !lag-waving. for­ Blushing Bride: might be eigner-hashing bulletfest it appear' to be. Leland Orser and Jol:n Faucau) pack 1010 a wedding that she \\ill stoop to ne\\ lows to up to no good in Very Bad Things. Den1cl \Vashington is Anthony Hubbard. a Jack mini\ an and head off to Vegas. Their mis­ make sure it rsn t ruined And Jeanne Ryan-c~ue FBI agent who i~ charged "ith tind­ sion: to celebrate that time-honored night of Their hideous deed done. the sullied boys Tripplehorn. as Stern s seemingly homey ing out\\ ho is behind a series ofhorrifymg ~e\\ controlled chaos, the bachelor party. Groom head home so the groom can prepare for his wife. elicits some cheer. \\hen she explodes York City bombings. Though blatantly preach) Favreau is excited but under:standably tense. wedding. or course. things are not as easy to and goes ballistic on an intruding baddie. at times. the film smartly pushes beyond the as his bride-to-be (Cameron Diaz) has voiced sweep under the rug as they'd like. As in Uneven but engrossing. Ve1:r Bad Things supcrlicial constraints of lis main plot to delve deeper into the issues of prejudice than most quite clearly her disapproval of the ritual. Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart," echoes of their is able to generate some palpable. crackling mainstream "thrillers" have. ( ll/10/98) VM Once in their Vegas hotel suite. the boys crime haunt the boys as soon as they set foot tension, a merit on which I can easily recom­ What Dreams May Come(*) You can ~lap a really let loose. absorbmg drugs and booze back on home turf. In one particularly well­ mend it. Whether the carnage is too much is pretty little bonnet and parasol on a pile of dog like sponges. Their ra\\ ebullience turns to played scene. family-man Stem lets his para­ a maHer of personal taste (\\ hich is so sig­ feces, but it's still just a pile of dog feces. A fit­ abject horror when. in a coital frenzy. one of noia engulf him to the point of hysteria while nificant you can either add or subtract a star tmg analogy for the torturous mess that is What lhe guys accidentally kills the prostitute they he tries to buy snacks at a gas station/conve­ or so from my own rating). Drewm ,\,fm· Come. a dull. mess) fantas)--drJma hired to entertain them. In the first of a series nience store. Hts behavior doesn't go unno­ Like the rest of the movie. Verr Bad Things· that linds deceased doc Robin Williams (in full­ of panic-induced bad decisions. the guys de­ ticed. and it isn't long before the boys' need final act cadenza is either laugh-out-loud hi­ blo\\ n scnous mode) traveling from hea\'en to cide to take the body out to the desert and for damage control leads to an even larger larious or downright offensive. You can at hell to ensure he has a wonderful afterlife. The narrative certainly holds promise. but the movie bury it. Not just bury it. but chop it up with a body count. most hear the Farclly brothers offering their quicl..ly turns into a jumbled mess of silty twists store-bought electric turkey carver and bury Though it seems inconceivable that humor approval. Whatever itc; effect on you. you and half-baked philosophies. (II/I 0/98) -JP it. Thank God for the 24-hour Target, huh? could be mined out of the deadly serious have to walk out of the theater after that.