Str. Lirei nr.10, Bucureşti, România Tel./Fax: + 40 (21) 252 56 20, 252 16 37, 252 90 00 E-mail: @acceptromania.ro, www.acceptromania.ro

The story of the Coman-Hamilton family

The Coman-Hamilton family, Adrian and Clai, wanted in 2012 to settle down in , the native country of Adrian. Right now, the two suffer from the effect of the discriminatory and homophobic Romanian legislation, although their family is recognized both in the United States and in most countries. They met in the summer of 2002 in New York, and have been a couple ever since. „Our first date was in Central Park. I met Adrian while crossing the street, and noticed how handsome and dignified he was. We became practically inseparable. Our first date lasted for hours, and it was crystal clear we were going to see each other again,” Clai remembers.

The two had been together for 8 years when they got married. „We only moved in together after three years, when we had got to know one another really well. I was, of course, worried that routine will take away some of the romance in our relationship. But we actually realized we enjoy the routine, and have still kept the romance in our couple. Our relationship has changed for the better, we have become much closer since we started sharing a home. Our friends have become our common friends, we have met each other’s families, we went on holidays with them, we went to University at the same time. I studied political science and did a Master’s in Human Rights, and he studied graphic design,” Adrian said.

In 2009, Adrian had to leave New York on his own, to work in the European Parliament. Both Adrian and Clai had student loans to pay, as well as a mortgage, and this was taking place during the financial crisis. The long-distance relationship wasn’t easy, particularly as both were working hard to build a career and to ensure they would one day live together again.

„In 2010, when I asked Clai to marry me, I was already far away from him for a year. While having a long- distance relationship, I understood he is my life partner, for better or for worse. That time, we still couldn’t marry in New York, but, being a Belgian resident, we could get married in Belgium. He was very emotional about it, said „Yes” immediately, although on Skype, it was very romantic. Four months later, we were already married in Brussels.

However, with the unemployment rates increasing all over Europe, Adrian finished his contract with the European Parliament in 2012. He thus looked for a job in Belgium and in the US. He also considered Romania for a position, as he was missing his parents, his friends and his home country, but he would only move to any new location together with Clai. Adrian knew that spouses of EU citizens can automatically get residency in a new EU country when the family relocates.

In order to obtain Clai’s Romanian residency permit, Adrian had to go to the Romanian Consulate, where he needed their certificate to be transcribed. „I remember the clerks talked privately about the matter, then a few minutes later they told me they could not transcribe my marriage certificate. In that moment all I felt was sad and humiliated, I left the Consulate holding a sheet of paper saying my family was not recognized by the Romanian authorities. No other person in the room would have received that answer. During my first interaction as a married man with the Romanian authorities, I understood that to them this

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Str. Lirei nr.10, Bucureşti, România Tel./Fax: + 40 (21) 252 56 20, 252 16 37, 252 90 00 E-mail: [email protected], www.acceptromania.ro

didn’t matter, I didn’t matter, my marriage didn’t matter. My country’s refusal to accept me hurt really badly, on my way home I was so distraught that I got a fine because I forgot to validate my tram pass.”

From that moment on, Adrian and Clai started their fight with the Romanian authorities. They were supported by their families and by ACCEPT and the Anti-Discrimination Coalition. Iustina Ionescu has been their legal representative since 2013. Their next encounter with the authorities was with the Immigration Office, where they asked for the marriage to be recognized, under the freedom of movement, one of the four EU fundamental freedoms.

The Romanian courts took three years to reach a decision on which court has authority over the case. The 5th District Court in , where the case was heard, referred to the Romanian Constitutional Court for the interpretation of the relevant article governing family law. While the law does not recognize same sex concluded outside Romania, this should not, in theory, affect the freedom of movement of EU citizens. In practice however, the Romanian state does not recognize same-sex partners as legal spouses, not even in freedom of movement cases, such as the reunification of families.

„For the Romanian state, our 14-year old relationship simply doesn’t exist, nothing of what we’ve done and built together is recognized here. Clai can’t get his residency permit, despite being my husband. As an American citizen, he can only visit as a tourist, or for business purposes. But when I grow older, I would like to move back to where I was born and where I grew up. I’d like to be able to do that with my family, with the man I love,” said Adrian.

ACCEPT Association, http://www.acceptromania.ro/ ACCEPT, established in 1996, at a time when homosexuality was incriminated in Romania, is a human rights organization and the first Romanian non-governmental organization that defends and promotes the rights of LGBT persons at national level. The Association’s mission is to improve the situation of LGBT people in the Romanian society, to decrease the level of discrimination and stigmatization for this group and, at the same time, to advocate for equal rights for all Romanian citizens. Our main objectives is defending, by all legal means, the persons whose fundamental rights and liberties, as guaranteed by the Romanian Constitution and the international treaties ratified by Romania, were infringed upon. ACCEPT also focuses on organizing social and cultural events (since 2005, and, since 2012, LGBT history month), and co-managing the Romanian Anti-Discrimination Coalition, working together with other NGOs and institutions for social inclusion of LGBTI individuals, as well as other minorities. ACCEPT also undertakes action towards enhancing the LGBT associational movement, by providing training and assistance in organizational management and community development to informal LGBT groups. Our association is also a provider of some social activities and direct services: legal counseling for victims of discrimination and hate crimes, psychological counseling, organizing meetings and debates on issues relevant to the LGBT community, cultural and social activities designed to strengthen self-confidence and a sense of belonging among the LGBT persons

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