THE

Concordia College, 275 North Syndicate, St. Paul, MN 55104 o laq by Heather Menten taken—an estimated $225 damage. She felt experts, because the majority of cars had Crime increases dramatically during the lot could have been patrolled more smashed windows, but nothing taken from Spring. Dan would like to see the campus Before students left for various Spring often since it was Spring Break and the stu- them. work together with security in decreasing Break excursions, those who needed to dents were encouraged to park there. During the night, there are two security crime by becoming more aware of the leave their cars were encouraged to do so The week prior to March 6, 3 cars had been officers on patrol. They work in four hour environment and of any suspicious activi- in Parking Lot D. Vehicles that are left on broken into in this same lot, and Karla shifts in which they are able to make two ties. "This is the inner-city, there will be the city streets for more than 24 hours are remarked, "Over break they [college secu- rounds. Dan said that Lot D is regularly vandalism. Campus can help by becoming subject to being ticketed, and Lot D is the rity] should have had more time to patrol, patrolled and during Spring Break he had more aware and reporting incidents if they only lot on campus that offers parking for especially after what happened the week the same number of officers on duty and see something." Dan also suggested that more than 24 hours. before." She feels the lot could be the same coverage of the lot. Dan valuables be removed from cars or placed On Sunday morning, March 6, 13 cars improved with better lighting and by post- explained, "Anytime there are a large in the trunk. were broken into, and a few valuable items ing security in the lot. number of vehicles in a small area it is a Since the incident on March 6, security were stolen. Those students whose cars Dan Meuwissen, Director of Security, said target. It is silly to think that security can officers have been surveying and staking were vandalized were informed when they that on the morning of March 6, Lot D was be everywhere at once." Dan continued to out Lot D. Security is working with the St. returned from break. One of the students checked at 1:45 a.m. and again at 4:00 a.m. explain that security must make sure the Paul police, who are trying to increase was Karla Tommerdahl. Her car window It was during this block of time that the buildings and residence halls are secure patrols through that area also. was smashed and a car phone, flashlight, crimes occurred. Dan said that it was very before the parking lots, although they are and other miscellaneous items were obvious the crimes were not committed by all important. Fl Major Issue...Graduation

by Julie Olson academically and socially. This process meeting set up between representatives of please contact x269 or any one of the was brought fourth to the committee and CSAL and the administration to discuss Senate Council members, especially the This spring quarter Student Senate has been other channels and was approved. More this issue and to see if any real harm would Executive Board, so that they may be very busy making appointments and hold- information and details will be available come out of the new seating arrangement. passed along. ing meetings in an attempt to relay student closer to the time of graduation. If you have any comments, concerns or concerns, opinions and comments to the new opinions or insight on this issue, administration. One main focus has been Another concern traditional students have the graduation ceremony. raised, and Student Senate is pursuing, is Financial Aid Reduction the seating arrangement of the two schools: Due to concerns raised from last year's traditional and CSAL. The issue is chang- Disputed graduation ceremony, this year's gradua- ing from the original seating arrangement—having the two schools tion committee had requested the input of state grants to private college students be intermixed—to instead sitting as a school, News Release students and has met with the Student restored and that more grant funds be tar- with the two schools sitting next to each Senate Executive Board. Prior to the meet- geted to students with the lowest incomes. ing, the Senate Council had come up with other. The honor graduates, however, will The 1994 session of the Minnesota State criteria for the selection of two student continue to seat intermixed in the front two Legislature holds millions of dollars in the The fate of the task force's recommenda- graduation speakers, one student from rows, joining the two schools together. As balance for Concordia and other private tions is now up to the 1994 legislature and CSAL and the other from the traditional of now, the seating arrangement will college students who could see their state will be decided during the next few weeks. program. Seniors wishing to be considered remain the same. The main reasoning grants cut by up to $425 annually unless If the legislature fails to act on the recom- as speakers for this year's commencement behind why individuals are against the new new legislation is approved. mendations, the reduced grants to private must submit an essay (see information seating arrangement is the fear that the college students of up to $425 will remain letter received from Danette Griffith) to pride and camaraderie between the two The Omnibus Higher Education Bill passed in effect. Overall, the reduction would Danette Griffith by April 15th. The essay schools will be lost. Even though CSAL by the 1993 legislature reduced the maxi- mean a loss of more than $4 million in would then be reviewed by a committee, and the traditional school are two separate mum state grant available to private college comprised of the academic dean, faculty schools, they are both from the same insti- students by $425, beginning in 1995. The state grant funds for private college stu- dents. members and students. Faculty and stu- tution, thus being one. Graduation is one reduction was approved pending an alterna- dents who will be sitting on the essay final way to celebrate that oneness. tive recommendation from a Financial Aid review committee will be from the essay- Task Force made up of citizens, students The Minnesota Private College Council, ist's respected school, traditional or CSAL. Now, the reasoning may be left to be and representatives of public college sys- which represents private college students The Senate Council felt this process would debated, and in fact, Senate has decided to tems. The Task Force recently approved at the legislature, is encouraging students allow the students who speak to be an accu- pursue the great graduation seating debate. and forwarded a unanimous report to the to support the task force's recommenda- rate representation of each school, both Soon, the Executive Board hope to have a legislature, including recommendations that Continued on page 3 INSIDE Ivories Celebrate Letter to Spring Food Women Mom Season Policy See Variety See A&E See Opinion See Sports See News page 5 page 9 page 11 page 6 page 2

NEWS Friday, April 8, 1994 page 2 WhatAk'. Food Policy —Reviewing for Change by Steve Galchutt This contract is between ARA food service run the dishwasher in chemicals, and paper this year is significantly less than in years and Concordia College. The contract in products. prior; there are only about 300 students on Many students may feel like they have some ways is more complicated than campus this year. This year the Student been mistreated or violated at different simply trading goods and services for Of the board paid each quarter, $189 is Union Snack Bar is open to spend account times by offices and departments of the money. designated as revenue to Concordia. money at while last year, the cafeteria was college. The offense may be something as Although the money is at one time only the only option for students. Further, this minor as not being able to get a book at the The amount of money that is paid to ARA revenue for the school, there is reason for year's change to the new system was diffi- library. Maybe a student could not get a each year is equivalent to the declining this. The, school owns a majority of the cult to understand and clouded the copy of his or her grades for car insurance. balance in every student's account (every equipment in ARA that is used to produce concerns students had. "The communica- Perhaps it might be something as major as student with food service). That means our food. The school owns virtually every- tion this past summer was not what it having trouble with the Financial Aid $441 of each quarter's $630 paid for board thing except for the cash registers. should have been. This will be something office. A subject that has recently given is designated for payment to ARA. Since stressed this coming summer," says Mary rise to some students' opinions in this way that is the amount a student receives in his Another item to consider when looking at Arnold of the Food Service Committee. is food service. or her declining balance, everything ARA the food service is that changes have taken pays to serve the students here and ARA's place. The number of residential students A few students have been so put off by the revenue must be taken from this amount. fact that the money in their declining bal- This may account for what many would ance will become ARA's at the end of the call "high prices." year that some action on the part of indi- vidual students has been taken in the hopes Of this money approximately 35% is spent on raw food. The other 65% is a mark up trikes of getting their account money returned to them. These students wish to takes mea- on the food to cover expenses and make a sures to reexamine the contract between profit. The primary expense is, of course, ARA and students. labor. Other expenses include chemicals, by Brian Wilhorn like the near $1900 per week that it cost to risk for relatively inexpensive items. Dan Bates, the Vice-President of Relations Recently there has been a series of break- for Student Senate, had some personal ins into the Sword office and the Student disks stolen from the Senate office. His Senate office. Even though there are many disks contained two year's worth of Senate things to choose from (from a thief's point information including poll results, files in of view), all that has been stolen are corn- the middle of completion, ads, and sur- puter disks. A number of blank disks have veys. There were also some font disks been taken and some disks containing a lot stolen, but, oddly enough, these were of important information have also been returned by the anonymous culprit. taken. Dan put out a series of voice mail mes- Erica Wentzel, co-Editor of the Sword, sages to people with keys and other people stated, "It's been more frustrating than who had access to the office. "I even anything else," and sarcastically asked, offered to give two blank disks to the A full Service Italian & American Restaurant "Hey, wouldn't they want a stapler or person who took them in case they some envelopes to go along with the couldn't afford their own," he stated. disks?" Undoubtedly there are many more At the current time, these crimes have not 645-9391 appealing items (again from a thief's point been solved and the missing disks have of view) to be taken that were flat out still not been returned. 1619 UNIVERSITY ignored. 1/2 BLOCK WEST OF SNELLING Apparently, the thief found the key to a filing cabinet where the disks were kept in the Sword office. Ten blank disks, four writer's disks and one editor's disk were Pizza • Pasta • Salad • Sandwiches taken. One would wonder why this person simply could not afford a buck for a new disk and put him/her self at such a high Dine In • Take Out • Free Delivery THE SWORD STAFF 1993-1994

MiiMiWagAgWie*"'W.W,MM,N- - "'WtWWWas ,

•Pizzas •Pie Editor-in-Chief: Anne Roth Variety Editor: Kimberly Christopher Managing Editor: Erica Wentzel Writers: Russ Van Wagner Beth Kellner •Lasagna •Malts Advisor: Danette Griffith Theresa Monette Business Manager: Danielle Frick •Spaghetti •Breakfast A&E Editor: Jennifer Riggers Advertising Manager: Erica Johnson Writers: Wendy Wedo & •Vegie Salad •Hamburgers Advertising Advisor: Robert Christopher Marc Wedo AntiPasta Salad •Deli Sandwich Layout Designer: John Matasovsky Brian Reinhardt • Layout: Kari Fosse Torn Langemo •Chicken Dinners •Soup & Salads Erica Wentzel Sports Editor. Christian Schiller News Editor: Jason Walker Dave Bauer Writers: Steve Galchutt D.C. Gilles Coupon • Clip Coupon • Clip Heather Menten Writers: Ryan Smith Jason Wolter Brian Wilhorn Secretary: Sheryl Trittin Smigley: Robert Christopher Free Order of Large Office Manager: Erica Wentzel Comic Roger Koopman One-Topping Pizza Copy Editor: Anne Roth Mozzarella Cheese Toast Chris Roth for only Photographer: Patrick Poock with any order $8.99 The Sword is published bi-monthly by students of Concordia College-St. Paul. The opinions and ideas (may not be used with any other discount or offer) over $12.00 expressed in the Sword are not necessarily those held by Concordia College-St. Paul. All articles are property of the Sword and may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent from the editors. Any letters may be addressed to the Sword at The Sword, 275 North Syndicate Street, St. Paul, Minnesota 55104.

Friday, April 8, 1994 page 3 no, ry AZIMINRATM:

—QUID< QUIZ— Students... You can learn a lot about taxes by taking this little quiz! Minnesota's Credit Union

*Checking Without the Hidden Charges 1. Because you are a student, 2. If you are a candidate for a you don't have to have tax taken out college degree, you may generally exclude from income that part of a MCCU of your pay. • Credit Cards (a) True scholarship or fellowship grant you (b) False received and used for (a) Tuition and fees required for • Car Loans enrollment or attendance. Member owned (b) Fees, hooks, supplies and Since 1933 equipment required for your course. MINNESOTA CENTRAL CREDIT UNION (c) Room and board or personal FIVE TYPES OF items. P.O. Box 65068 CHECKING PLANS 1270 University Avenue St. Paul, Minnesota 55165 TO SUIT YOUR Phone (612) 644-1954 NEEDS Next to Target

Financial Aid low and moderate income students who continued from page 1 depend on state financial aid to help finance their education, Laird said. Some 3. You cannot be claimed as a 4. Students should make and lawmakers still incorrectly believe that the dependent by your parents if your keep a copy of their tax return tions by calling or writing their legislators. majority of private college students are gross income is $2,350 or more forms and Copy C of all Forms W- The message state lawmakers need to hear, wealthy and don't need financial aid to and if you are a full-time student 2 and any information filed with according to David B. Laird Jr., President afford their education, he added. In reality, who turned 24 in 1993. the return because of the Private College Council, is that they (a) True (a) They can refer to them for 20 percent of Minnesota private college (b) False future tax planning. should support the Financial Aid Task students come from families who earn (b) They may need a copy when Force's recommendations to increase fund- $20,000 or less per year, and 49 percent are applying for financial aid. ing for the state grant program and fully from families with annual incomes under (c) They may get a question from restore state grants to private college stu- $40,000. the IRS on what was reported on dents. their return. Concordia students who want more infor- "After months of research and thoughtful mation about the legislative session and discussion, the Financial Aid Task Force how to get involved can contact Julie unanimously approved a very forward- Oebser, a Concordia representative to the looking set of recommendations," said Minnesota Association of Private College Laird. "We need students to call their legis- Students, or Julie Lund at the Minnesota lators and encourage them to support and Private College Council at (612) 228-9061. act on the recommendations. Without Students interested in contacting state leg- action this session, the reductions in state islators directly can call Senator Sandy grants to private college students will go Pappas (296-1802) or Representative Andy into effect next year." Dawkins (296-5158), both of whom repre- sent Concordia College. We pay taxes to help our 5. You worked two jobs last 6. Lawmakers especially need to hear from year, but got a W-2 form from only government raise income (called one employer. You don't have to "revenue") to meet its expenses. report the income from the missing (a) True. W-2. (b) False. (a) True. (b) False. ESTOPSTOP Answers: 1. (b) False; students are.not automatically exempt from withhold- Concordia's One Stop Shop ing. They must meet certain tests listed on Form W-4. (See employer for copy.) 2. (a) and (b); different rules apply for grants •FUELS—Gasoline, Diesel, 100 Oct. Racing Fuel(Summer), received before August 17, 1986. 3. (a) True; however, at that Propane and Kerosene (Winter) point, a student may claim his or her own exemption on his or her own tax return. 4. (a), (b) and (c); these records should be kept for •LUBE-10 min. oil changes, All fluids maintained three years from the date the return was due or the date filed, or •CAR WASH—Hi—Tech Self Serve With Options two years from the date the tax was paid, whichever is later. 5. (b) False; you must report all income from wages. Obtain a duplicate •GROCERY—Snacks, Pop, Dairy, and More! Form W-2 from the employer or contact the IRS. 6. (a) True; the •DELI—Bakery, Pizza (Fresh Baked), Soups and Sandwiches (Hot revenue raised by taxes is used to provide a wide variety of ser- and Cold) vices, such as our national defense, conservation of our natural resources, and public education. Part of the taxes also goes into the old age, survivor, and disability fund and Medicare insurance Open 6am-I Ipm to provide benefits when you become eligible for them. MARSHALL & HAMLINE AVENUES Get IRS Publication 4, Student' s Guide to Federal Income Tax, 641-1045 for more information on federal income tax laws of particular interest to high school and college students. Call the IRS at 1-800- (across from Concordia Campus) 829-3676 to order it. EXPRESS TEHYR "CUSTOMER MINDED" VARIETY Friday,April 8, 1994 page 4

,..Amm,,,..„*vomgomgmmgmozokwviol*,-Immim ,,wwwwommovmm

There's No Place Like Home... There's No Comfort Like a Muffin... by Russ Van Wagner in Kansas that I was lost. As when I was seven, I like I wanted began crying and walking in alley's look- 1/2 TSP Ground Ginger I'm moving this week. I hate to move, it to be. I ing for my Grandmother's back stoop. But reminds me that I own way too much junk. became terri- this time I would not find it, and I would (Not Mary Ann) I once saw a picture of Ghandi's posses- fyingly lost. I keep looking, getting more and more sions, it was a pair of reading glasses, three was crying scared, until finally I would wake up, usu- 1/2 TSP Ground Nutmeg prayer books, two articles of clothes, and a uncontrol- ally crying. pair of sandals. The guy could have moved lably, but I 1 C. Buttermilk with a paper bag. (Except that he didn't didn't want So I began searching for the familiar. The to be seen own one) I think about that photo every Minneapolis library carries my hometown 1/3 C. Melted Butter time I move. doing so, so I newspaper, and I would stop there every began walk- two three days to look over what was going ing up and 1 Tart Green Apple One thing about moving though, at least on back home. And I started cooking the down alleys. for a while, it's easy to locate anything I Russ Van Wagner. things that my Mom cooked. 1 Large Egg own. It's in a box. As a little joke to I had a vague feeling that I myself I like to label all of my boxes The paper was always at least two days Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Get a was in my "MISC." old, and I don't cook as well as my Mom. standard size muffin pan with paper liners. Grandmother's neighborhood, so I tried to Combine the dry ingredients in a large remember what her back stoop looked like Eventually I got a subscription to the bowl. Peel, core, and chop the apple. Then My cat on the other hand, loves to move. and peered into every backyard through St.Paul Pioneer Press, and began forming combine the apple, the buttermilk, the Of course, for him, it's easy. He owns tear filled eyes, and tried to think if that melted butter, and the egg in a food proces- nothing. The part he likes the best is the was it. She lived in a tract of houses that my own menu. sor and process for about twenty seconds. trip in the car to his new home. I know he were all part of the same building develop- Pour this mixture over the stuff in the bowl likes it because he sings the whole way. ment, so many of the stoops looked There are not many things as comforting as and stir until just combined. Put 1/2 cup of similar, so now I was lost, and scared of food. Taken in moderation, food can be a mixture into each cup and bake for about But as I am carrying my very extensive being lost, but I was also unsure of where I basis for a certain measure of serenity. A 25 minutes. Test with toothpick in the brick collection and rocks in the shape of needed to go to get found. Because I was good meal with a friend or loved one, a middle of the muffin. When it comes out president heads (Fortunately, I decided only seven or eight at the time, I'm not bowl of hot soup on a cold day, even some- against expanding into vice-presidents, being dramatic when I say, I was racked thing as simple as a muffin at the end of a clean, the muffins are done. Remove pan even though I once had a very life like with tenor. trying day, can soothe the pain, and loneli- from the oven, and allow the muffins to Spiro T. Agnew) up and down stairs I ness of a troubled soul. So when you have cool for at least thirty minutes before one of those trying days, or wake up crying begin to think two things to myself. Eventually I was found. No doubt it was removing from the pan. because you dreamed you were lost, make after being lost for less than an hour. My some muffins. The first is, "What was I thinking when I Grandmother wrote a column for the local Eat early, Eat often. got this stuff?" and the other is, "I have to newspaper called "Over The Clothesline". stop relying on the MTC to move." She told the whole story in her column 1 C. Flour about me getting lost and appearing in her I moved to the Twin Cities in late 1986 on back yard crying. My second grade teacher 1/2 C. Shredded Bran Cereal (such as All- an airplane. I had four boxes of stuff when told me that she had read the article, told Bran) I arrived at the airport. (One of them filled me that she had felt very sorry for me, and with dirty dishes. Here is a good moving then gave me a hug. I was mortified with 1/2 C. Toasted Wheatgerm tip: Always move with dirty dishes) embarrassment. Years later, I came across a copy of the article that my mother had 1/2 C. Oatmeal I was unsure if moving here was the right saved, it was a kind, loving, and well writ- ten article. But to a seven year old boy, FOR ANSWERS YOU AND thing to do or not. I was leaving everything 1/2 C. Cornmeal and everybody that I knew and entering a having the whole town find out that he was YOUR PARTNER SHOULD strange city. Strange not only in the fact it lost and crying is a traumatic experience. KNOW BEFORE... 1/2 C. Brown Sugar was unfamiliar, but also in the fact that I NOT AFTER. was ignorant to many of the customs and Living in a small town has a comfort in the habits of living in a large city. Like not fact it's easy to know where you are and 1/2 C. Chopped Walnuts 1-800-78-FACTS saying hello to everybody you pass on the where everything else is, and how to get street. Once, someone sat down next to me from one place to the other. In no time you 1/2 C. White Raisins For factual, confidential infor- on the bus and I said hello to her and she learn the lay of the land so well that you mation about birth control, went and told the driver. He looked back at don't think in terms of three block north to 2 TSP Baking Powder sexually transmitted diseases me like I was Jeffrey Dahmer. I shouted up 8th Ave. and three blocks east to Arch and clinic referrals. to him, "All I said was hello." And he Street. You just go, without having to draw 1 TSP Baking Soda shouted back, "Well this lady doesn't have a little map in your head. I lived in my Minnesota Family Planning & STD Hotline to put up with that, so just keep to your- hometown for 25 years. In that time, I 1 TSP Cinnamon self." (That's right, I guess, people don't think that I would be safe in saying that I have to put up with being said hello to, but had been in at least one building on each if you ask me, we should try to buck up block of the whole city. (Now that I have EMPLOYMENT and tough it out. Or we could try getting a typed that, I realize that it may be some- an hour in dorm room. Flexable, Incentives, No Selling. Call bill passed to outlaw hellos, nods, and hat what of an extravagant. But only Make from $5-$17 tippings on the public streets. I have the somewhat.) When I moved to the Twin Marty Langemo at American Family881-4116 perfect name for the bill, The Anti-Howdy Cities, I had been in my friend Phil's Cruise Ship Jobs! Students needed! Earn $2000+ monthly. Summer/holidays/fulltime. Law.) house, a laundromat, a few restaurants, and World travel. Caribbean, Hawaii, Europe, Mexico. Tour guides, Gift shop sales, Deck the IDS Tower. hands, Casino workers, etc... No experience necessary. Call When I was in the second grade, after 602-680-4647 ext.0 147 school one day I went to a friend's house. Shortly after moving here, I began to have When I left his house, I walked south a reoccurring nightmare. I would leave Earn $200 - $500 weekly mailing 1993 travel brochures For more information send a instead of north. It should have been about somewhere, feeling confident that I knew self-addressed, stamped envelope to : Travel Inc. P.O. Box 2530 Miami, FL 33261 six blocks to my house. I'm not sure how where I was going. Only to suddenly real- far I walked before I noticed that I wasn't ize that I had walked the wrong way, and Friday, April 8, 1994 page 5 VARIETY

TIM 141) 2D4Qatlan 63/(offsevot(cia by Theresa Monette gowns, meet interesting (and wealthy) 1 2 3 4 MI6 7 8 9 ID ill people, and get paid for doing something she thoroughly enjoys. 12 Did you ever dream of being a rock star? 111 Maybe you were a bit more cultured, if so, 15 16 17 ■ 18 did you ever dream of playing first chair in This experience has given Karla many a nationally recognized orchestra? Maybe other opportunities to play and get paid but 20 21 19 you did not have aspirations quite that it has also provided her with a sense of 22 23 24 ■ 25 26 R 27 28 high, but even so, didn't you ever imagine security. That is for her, as a Natural what it would be like if you could get paid Science major and Math minor, she knows 29 30 31 ■ 32 it for some musical talent of yours? Karla that there is something else to fall back on. The experience too has helped Karla to 34 35 ill 37 38 39 Tommerdahl, a Concordia sophomore, has ■ ■ ■ ■ support herself as a college student and she realized the last of the fore mentioned ill 41 42 44 dreams. She is a paid piano player at the hopes that this is a job she can continue il prestigious Minnesota Club in downtown through school. After that, Karla admits 46 47 48 49 ■ St. Paul. that piano playing will probably just be a il 51 ■ 52 53 ■ 54 hobby that she enjoys for the remainder of From Thursday through Saturday, 5:30- her life. Of course she does note that any- 56 55 57 58 59 60 approximately 9:00 p.m., Karla performs thing is possible and that if the right opportunity arose, she might take it. For 61 di ■ 63 64 for a dinner crowd at this private 100+ year-old club. Karla got the position by now, she just thinks its neat to have come 65 66 67 being in the right place at the right time this far. She points out that you would and by impressing her employers at an never expect an opportunity like this to be interview that followed. She began play- open to you but that there are these jobs, ACROSS DOWN ing at this club last fall but piano playing you just need to find them. started much earlier for this accomplished 1. Appointment (abbr.) 1. Suitable 4. Start 2. Equal musician. Unfortunately for us, Karla plays at an 9. Small floor covering 3. Mars exclusive members only club. However, a 12. Friend 4. Red vegetable 13. Rub out 5. Made a mistake Karla remembers her mother forcing her to chance to hear her play may be available if 14. A judge of Israel 6. Southern state (abbr.) you just ask her. She also has experience 15. One who locates 7. Distinctive doctrine (suf.) practice piano in the second grade. Now 17. Intellectual 8. Want she practices willingly and confesses that playing for conventions like at the 19. Well known 9. Standard of measurement Radisson in Fargo, weddings like for a 21. Beetle 10. Southern state (abbr.) she is glad her mom kept on her. Her 22. Engaged in (suf.) 11. Until (Poetic) family is proud of Karla's success and friend in Utah, and various other functions 24. Spot 16. Reefs like the Minnesota Private College 26. Appointed moment 18. Never Karla says that her mom in particular is 29. Part of flower 20. Child's pet "glad that all of those piano lessons are Consortium banquet at the Landmark 31. Weapon 22. Talk at length Center this past February. So maybe if 33. Dog 23. Pace finally paying off". Karla's friends are 34. I am (cont.) 25. Place to bathe enthusiastic as well but who wouldn't be, you are lucky enough to be in the right 35. Boy 27. Organization of tones place at the right time, you can hear one of 37. Make an offer 28. Wash away after all, Karla gets to dress up in formal 39. Thus 30. Place for experiments Concordia's finest budding pianists. 40. New Testament book 32. Nothing (abbr.) 36. Not alive when coming 42. Snake into hospital (abbr.) 44. Furious 38. Couch 46. Waste time 41. Consecrate 48. Circle 43. Upper limb on body 50. Wicked conduct 45. Moral excellence 51. Shellac ingredient 53. Tooth 47. UN organization (abbr.) 55. With flowers 49. Punctuation mark 511. Shelf over fireplace 52. Formal close (in 61. Sound of dove compositions) 62. Practical substitute .54. Puts 55. Process of doing something 64. Indian tribe 56. Scare 65. Pull behind 57. River in S. Austria 66. Scopes 59. 7th Gr. letter 67. Dine 60. Lease 63. N.E. state (a1)br.) LIBERTY STATE BANK The Family FDIC; Bank

A FULL SERVICE BANK LENDER Answers To 176 Snelling Ave. No. (3 Blocks South of Freeway 94) St. Paul, MN 55104-6338 Phone 646-8681 • Bookkeeping 646-7721 • Commercial Loans 646-2031 Crossword

SDP ROULIP MQV WUP 120041V UOV ummur clookiou -APOLOGY OUWOO EIONV PEJD Wondering where "Roomies" is this issue? Well, to put it bluntly, Chris Roth didn't get off his butt and UMW DUO VEWA get one done in time. He's deeply sorry and begs for forgiveness from all the fans of Roomies. Both OP OUU VW CU OUP UCLI POEM! of you. However, rest assured "Roomies" will return with a new installment next issue. And it'll NAM VOL1 OUVF probably be as stupid and unfunny as all the rest have been... If you need a dose of humor similar LW MEW WAIDUCJ OUOUGE1 to that which "Roomies" would've given you, the management suggests you read "Family Circus," ULU "Nancy," or "Ziggy." Now that's entertainment! -Loubert and Sal 90Ci IMPULALuauu wuu

SPORTS Friday,April 8, 1994 page 6 aletralEMBIW'

Baseball 94 Begins With Comets in Cocoa Beach

by Jason Wolter selves, and played poorly in losing to Kings College. The next day, Brett Reem The Concordia baseball team recently broke the losing streak by pitching a com- returned from its annual spring trip to plete game victory over Clarion College. Cocoa Beach, Florida. It was a disappoint- The team finished its trip the next day by ing trip, as the team returned with a 2-7 splitting a double-header. They lost the first record. Although the competition was game to Northwood, 7-3. They bounced tough (three teams were NCAA Division back in the late game, behind the pitching II and the other two were NCAA Division of Scott Boettcher, winning 8-3 over III), Coach Streiiz has called this his most Rochester I.T. talented team ever. This team is good enough to beat anyone on their schedule, Some bright spots could be found for the which includes teams from the tough Comets. Pitching well were Boettcher, MIAC conference like St. John's, St. Olaf, Jeremy Fuchs, Reem, and Adam Oelfke. Gustavus Adolphus and Hamline. Doing damage at the plate were Tracy Bushinger (.300); Jerod Nelson (.476, 2 In the Comets' first game, the first of a doubles, 1 triple, 3 RBI); Jeremy (J.D.) double-header, they lost 9-3 to Clarion Daniels ( 1 homerun, 6 runs scored, 5 RBI) College. In the second game, they lost 11- and Chris Klien (.364, 3 RBI). 5 to Northwood Institute. The following day, they played another double-header, The team opens the season at Carleton on and dropped both games, 8-0 to Oakland April 4th. The Comet home-opener is April College and 9-6 to Rochester Institute of 5th at Dunning Stadium. Technology. There was only one game the next day, and Concordia's early season slump continued, as they lost 8-3 to Oakland College. After a day off, the The baseball season begins in fine form. Comets were still not able to right them-

Editor's Sports Do you have chickenpox?

If so, you may participate in a Shorts treatment study at the U of M by Christian Schiller Miller; sophomores Merry Kenow and Jennifer Wood, and freshmen Naomi Call 625-1462 for more information In the world of professional and division I Stohlman, Amy Grau, Sara Kvern, Kelly collegiate athletics, it often becomes a con- Jarosiewicz, Nichole Flasch, Katie No cost or obligation fusing issue when trying to decide which Meagher, Kristin Benson, and Molly You must be at least 12 years old with rash for less than 2 days sports season we are currently in. The NBA Marquardt. So, with only five returning and NHL (what most of us tend to consider players who saw extensive action last year winter sports) are just now entering the (sophomores Merry Kenow and Jen Wood final phase of their seasons; March did not play last year), a lot of young play- Madness has just recently ended, and our ers will have to mature quickly to make professional baseball players have been this season a success. hanging out in Florida for well over a month. Well, Spring arrived on March 21st, The good news for Coach Cross is that his and we at CSP like to keep our athletics five returning starters will be spread moving along with the seasons, so bring on throughout the field. Miller will be taking the 1994 Comet (Spring) sports season! the bulk of the pitching duties, Tonne can be used in both the catcher and first base One of our teams that has made its way position, Wegscheider is a solid center- outdoors in the last few weeks is our Lady fielder, Krohn will control the hot corner, Softball Comets. Not only have they been and Rosenthal is a quick second baseman seen outside in the sometimes frigid with good range. There is plenty of talent Minnesota Spring, they also traveled to on this team to fill the rest of the open Orlando to get some warm practice and positions, and there will even be more than playing time—pretty rough, huh?!? Last one person on the bench to give T. C. some year the team posted a record of 5-18, but substituting possibilities! that season was also maligned with injuries and low numbers. Head Coach Tom Cross, By the time you're reading this, the team Assistant Coach Tom Rubbelke, and 15 tal- has already gotten a few games under their ented women hope to turn that around in belt (even if they were in Florida) so it's 1994! time to see what they can do. There aren't a lot of home games this year for the This year's edition of Lady Comet Softball women—that could have something to do will boast an experienced core of returning with the fact that their right field is now an players, but will also have to rely on a lot entrance to a theatre—so catch them at '•• ' of young talent. Leading the team will be a home when you can. The first home game 1}16****14400$41iitiii*****,, senior threesome of Lynn Tonne, Becky is April 17 (Alumni) somewhere over on the Dunning softball complex. See you Krohn, and Dawn Wegscheider; followed Concordia women's softball team member makes the catch. by juniors Jen Rosenthal and Heather there!

Friday, April 8, 1994 page 7 SPORTS

ot arts by Ryan Smith players watch the They're back! Sixty-four of the nation's man with the most talented and exciting college basket- ball dribble ball teams have once again laced up their for 24 sec- sneakers to play in the world's most onds until he incredible sports event-the NCAA slashes to the Division I Men's Basketball hoop tend to Championships. make the lazy pros The Super Bowl, World Series, and NBA look, well, Finals do not come close to matching up lazier! with the intensity, excitement, or drama of Besides, how exciting can the big dance (as the tournament is other- Ryan Smith wise known)! an NBA Finals series be without The Super Bowl may be the single most Mike? watched game in all of sports, but it's becoming safe to say that it's the commer- cials between plays that keep many eyes on No sporting event can match the NCAA the tube. Surely the NCAA tourney is tournament. Last year's championship much more exciting for the average viewer game had it all. Two highly talented teams than another NFC blowout. battled for forty minutes until, unfortu- nately, one was lucky enough to experience the thrill of victory while the The World Series is often a dramatic event, other experienced the utmost agony in but baseball is definitely not the most defeat. exciting sport to watch. In fact, more people are taken out to the ballpark to drink the "barley beverage of their choice" Where else can you find players playing than to watch the game. their butts off every play? Where else can you feel the emotions of a giant upset? Not the Super Bowl, not the World Series, The Finals of the NBA cannot possibly be and not the NBA Finals. Nothing beats considered as exciting as the college game. March Madness! Unwritten defensive rules that make NBA

Final Basketball Statistics

by Jason Wolter Timmer 41.3 42.3 73.2 13.3 34 75 2 102 Concordia Men's basketball season wrap- up, statitistics and awards: Chamberlain 73.2 -- 77.115.1 46 57 34 262 UMAC All-Conference: Kyle Timmer, Jeff Chamberlain and Pat Walsh Cluppert UMAC All-Conference: Honorable 58.1 -- 54.8 4.6 23 17 26 110 Mention: Jay Dobbins and Matt Nilsen UMAC Coach of the Year: Dennis Frigstad Getzlaff 43.2 20.0 70.9 4.3 19 23 7 71 School records: 20 - 9 record, 10 - 0 (con- ference), most wins ever, NAIA playoff Wiegert birth 50.0 - 66.6 1.9 5 10 14 58

Final Statistics: Drees 42.8 100.0 62.5 2.7 4 5 8 37 Player 2FG% 3FG% FT% ppg. stl.ast. blk.reb. Walsh 43.1 36.8 73.2 12.7 57 160 9 91 Shweigert 36.3 14.2 58.3 1. 8 4 408 Dobbins 51.5 43.2 77.7 11.2 32 74 9 128 Wlashin 50.0 42.8 72.0 1.4 13 24 0 34 Filstrup 22.2 - 33.3 0.5 4 4 0 8 Nilsen 60.0 12.5 66.2 6.9 21 44 14 105

Smith 43.6 27.0 69.2 3.7 15 24 0 37 Concordia track and field team member prepares to throw the javelin. Friday, April 8, 1994 page 8

by Tom Langemo sic, Thelma and Louise, starring Susan arts world to new dimensions. First, there's Many female authors from various cultures Sarandon and Geena Davis, about a pair of Harriet Hosmer, who sculpted a marble are now taking the literary world by storm. This month is Women's History Month gun-totin', rough-housin' women taking bust of "Medusa" (c. 1854). Vinnie Ream Sandra Cisneros, wrote a wonderful and it almost passed me up. I have seen on the "world of Man." Hoxie, a sculptor from Madison, account of a young Chicano girl in the city little in the areas of theatre or literature to Wisconsin, did two major marble pieces; in the book, House on Mango Street. honor the occasion. So, I have the honor of Sticking with the performance venue, let one of Abraham Lincoln (1871) and doing my part for the celebration of the me hop over to the live performances and another, "Sappho, Typifying the Muse of Three black female writers have burst women who have changed the course of their creators. Trying to come up with Poetry" (1865-70). One that really caught through to the top of the writer's list. our world in the arts. female playwrights or plays about women my eye was an 11' masterpiece by Julia Beloved, written by Toni Morrison, is was a tough task. Hopefully, it's just my Bracken Wendt called, "The Three Graces: about the journey of a young black woman Women actors and movies concerning own absent-mindedness, but it was a chore History, Science and An." It is housed in in a hostile world called America. Alice women have really hit the high road to to find just three. Steel Magnolias, by the Los Angeles County Museum of Walker, whom I've just discovered, has fame these last few years. There are many Robert Harling, is a powerful play about a Natural History. written many novels, including Meridian, that I would love to talk about, but two in group of women from all different genera- The Color Purple, and my latest favorite, particular stand out in my mind. Many tions and backgrounds, sharing their lives Alright, now for my favorite part—the Possessing the Secret of Joy. Zora Neale years ago, Barbara Streisand, actor-extra- and growing up together in the absence of women in and of literature. Sadly, not until Hurston, who was a great inspiration to ordinaire, starred in Yentl, a stirring movie the men that were supposedly supposed to college, was I exposed to feminine writers Alice Walker and many other authors, about a young Jewish woman attempting be there. I saw the movie and I wept. Neil nor did I look for gender aspects within lit- wrote the classic, Their Eyes Were to pass as a boy in a Jewish school. Simon, one of the greatest American play- erature. I am happy to name off the small Watching God. wrights ever, has recreated his famous list that I have in my repertoire (hoping The music is wonderful (coming from both play, The Odd Couple, into a female ver- that it will grow). Going way back to All of these magnificent women have Streisand and male actor, Mandy sion. The last play I found was Crimes of around the Romantic period, one finds the opened up new and spectacular avenues for Patinkin), and the storyline is fabulous. the Heart, by Beth Henley, and performed names of two sisters, Emily and Charlotte growth in our world of stereotypes and Another more playful movie is Witches of here, at CSP, directed by Kim LaFontaine. Bronte and Jane Austin. Charlotte's prejudices. Everyone can benefit from their Easiwick, starring Michelle Pfeiffer, Susan This is a killer to the emotions, folks. Read Wuthering Heights and Emily's Jane Eyre, wisdom and insight as to a woman's out- Sarandon, and Cher as three young this one, see it, or at least see the movie— both have vivid female characters that will look on our world. Please, take advantage women, who are temporarily taken advan- you will not be disappointed. sweep your imagination. Jane Austin's of this new awareness that they have given tage of by an over-eager, over-sexed Pride and Prejudice will open your mind to us. Many of these works and the people "demon," Jack Nicholson. It received no Skipping away from the performance to the societal view of women, especially who created them can be found in our Oscars, but it will always be one of my aspect, I'd like to list some names of those of the lower classes in eighteenth library. Do your part in celebrating women favorites. One cannot forget the now- clas- female artists who have driven the visual century England. Ayn Rand, who is not in our world by seeing a movie or a play quite as popular, wrote two powerful by or for women. Read a book, see an art novels, Atlas Shrugged and The exhibit. Go out and learn something! Reality is Mediocre Fountainhead. by Wendy Wedo ings of people behind the action. While the closeness felt between the audience and the actors keep the characters real, the length It is usually refreshing to stop by one of Beckett's "Waiting for the Twin Cities smaller, lesser-known the- of the play began to separate those who WALK TALL! atres every once in a while to get a feel for were involved in the action, and those who Godot" Opens at C.A.S.T. what real theatre is. The large-scale pro- could not wait for a change in plot or an If you want the pride that ductions of the Guthrie or the "right- end to the story. The majority of the people Theatre March 25, 1994 comes with wearing a badge of off-Broadway" shows that come to the I went with felt that the script needed to be special achievement, the Army edited for length. Much of the second act Ordway sometimes feel like they aren't News Release offers you a choice of eight. real theatre, but just a big-budget, high- felt exactly like the first, with Eero beating Infantry...Armor...Artillery... talent spectacle to draw in the masses. For up on Lea and then she forgiving him. I Air Defense Artillery...Combat real theatre, the real blood, sweat, and tears realize that this is the usual pattern of The show is a spirited performance of Engineers...Airborne...Rangers of it all, go to a small theatre. behavior for women in situations like Beckett's classic, dark comedy about ...and Special Forces. these, but it was incredibly too repetitive living, suffering, and getting nowhere. These are the Army's and predictable. Never performed before Combat Arms—and the soldiers I had the opportunity to do just that this on the American stage (it was translated for who wear their badges are the past weekend at the Southern Theater in The production runs Friday and Saturday Wendy Knox and the Frank Theatre), I feel elite among all soldiers. Minneapolis. "Tottering House," put on by that there is some real work that needs to evenings at 8:00 pm March 25 through the Frank Theatre and based on an autobi- If you think you have what it be done before the audience can feel com- May 14, 1994. takes to become one of them, ographical novel by a Finnish woman, passion for Lea, hatred for Eero, and explores the cyclical effect of domestic talk to your Army Recruiter. sympathy for every character in the cast. Tickets are $10.00 for adults and $8.00 for violence and its effects on every member The directing helped with that bridge, but students and seniors. 612-644-5688 of the family in every aspect of life. the actors—and the script—still need some Focusing on Lea (Anne Piper) and her work before this play will tug at my heart- marriage to Eero (Matt Guidry), the play strings. "Tottering House" is a valuable C.A.S.T. Theatre has been entertaining ARMY. progresses from the usual newlywed bliss piece of theatre, real theatre—more than audiences in its intimate art deco space for BE ALL YOU CAN BE to the violence that destroys so many fami- just general mediocrity.Congratulations!!! twelve years, located under the bright gold lies around the world. canopy behind the Ford Centre at Fifth to Stephen Speilberg for finally being rec- Ave. N. and Fifth Street N. Technically speaking, the play was won- ognized for his amazing efforts and At-•• Family derful. The set was intriguing, the music accomplishments in film, to the women of For reservations or more information call • and sound very suiting, and the costumes, Low-cost fees "The Piano" for being recognized for a Charters H. Anderson at 338-0063. • er Tree based upon your for the most part, very true to the charac- serious film that took guts to make, to nic ability ters. From an artistic standpoint, however, Tommy Lee Jones (thank goodness you Cli to pay I almost drowned in the amount of sym- aren't bald!) for getting an Oscar for a HEALTH CARE WITHIN YOUR REACH bolism and a general feeling of the whole Harrison Ford film, and all the other Oscar ••■■•■1., play being "over done." The many inter- winners who made the 66th Annual Birth Control • Pregnancy Testing esting director's choices taken by Wendy Academy Award one of the best yet!! STD Testing and Treatment 1619 Dayton Ave., St. Paul Knox left me confused with all the sym- W.W. bols and distracted by the changes of 645-0478 characters on stage as well as the wander- Services for • Women • Men • Teens Friday,April 8, 1994 page 9

A Benefit for Bob Stinson

by Brian Reinhardt It Be," I can't tell you how disappointed I was and, well, let's just say we won't see him "Tim " when I heard Paul Westeberg say "na—na live for a while. With all the talk about effective, or appro- "Pleased To na na—na na na—na na" in "Dyslexic priate, journalism going around school Meet Me," Heart." In past albums he wouldn't have (Writer's Note: When Mars left the these days, I think it is my duty as a "Don't Tell used meaningless jargon even as a joke. Replacements things were not good responsible columnist to do a little A Soul," and Then came his first full album, "14 between he and Westeberg. Mars has a research and try to find some guidance on "All Shook Songs", which brought Westeberg back to song on "Horseshoes & Hand Grenades," the matter from some professionals. I have Down." earth or out of Seattle, take your pick. supposedly about Westeberg called, "Ego been reading "Dr. Spock's Guide to Although there aren't any musical discov- Maniac." Westeberg's album, "14 Songs," Journalism: The Kick-Ass, Kiss-Ass Original eries, the lyrics are the best of the year. followed with a song called "World Class Approach," and found a wonderful chap- Members: They range from the hilarious "Mannequin Fad." Don't you think it would have been ter devoted entirely to "Where Are They Paul Shop" to the soulful, poetic "Even Here easier to tepee each others houses?) Now?" columns. You can call it what you Westeberg, We Are." Since he, and I quote, "quit his band, and divorced his band," he has want (the power of the press?), but I was Chris Mars, Brian Reinhardt Bob Stinson (Lead Guitar)—What can you sucked right in to his make-easy, friendly Bob Stinson, plenty of inspiration. "First Glimmer", a say about Bob? A little nuts, a little irre- approach. I found that following the Tommy song about Paul's first love, is the low sponsible, but, meet the early Doctor's steps was what I needed, and Stinson. point to the album. Not that the topic both- Replacements. Bob could get the best maybe the world needs, to personalize the ers, me but the song sounds like a sounds from a guitar— just ask Dinosaur "Singles" outtake, which, as you read newspaper. WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Jr., Pearl Jam, and Soul Asylum—they before, I am not too found of. I never will obviously know. Where is Bob now? At doubt Mr. Westeberg's talents and will Chapter 7—Your Audiences, Where Are Paul Westeberg (Vocals/Guitar)—Mr. the C.C. Club in Uptown Minneapolis, They Now? (pp. 12-13.) buy anything he puts out just because of third stool from the right where he always Westeberg artistic abilities are unquestion- his track record with the Replacements. able. The New York Times dubbed him as is—paying for drinks with royalties from Introductions: The Replacements, a the best songwriter in the nation a few old Replacement's albums. Chris Mars (Drummer)—We never knew Minneapolis based rock and roll band who years back, but since the break-up he has split after almost ten years with 8 major made some questionable work. His first that this guy had so much talent until he Tommy "I was 13 for the first 'Mats stepped out of the Replacements and out releases: "Sorry Ma, I Forgot To Take Out assignment by himself included a couple of album" Stinson (Bass)—Little Tom also The Trash," "Stink," "Hootenanny," "Let pitiful songs for the "Singles" soundtrack. of Paul's shadow. Mars left the band after made the move to front man in a band "All Shook Down" was recorded and called Bash & Pop. Their first release is refused to tour with the band because of called "Friday Night is Killing Me" which Roots and Wings Folk Workshop reported disputes with Westeberg. His sounds like a Rolling Stones, Rod Stewart efforts since then have been more than collaboration album. It is quite an impres- noble: "Horseshoes and Hand Grenades" sive album—if you can get passed his at SJU to Feature Holly Near and Ann Reed & "75% Less Fat." Mars virtually did both whiny voice, he has a lot to say. You can News Release Anne Dunn, an Ojibway grandmother, of the albums by himself, as the "75% definitely hear the Westeberg influence in offers stories from her culture about unex- Less Fat" title suggests. The first release, his lyrics, but hey, if you're going to imi- "Horseshoes & Hand Grenades," is the Collegeville, Minn.—The second annual pected heroes while Dave Moore performs tate anyone's song writing, Paul's the man. original songs, blues, and conjunto music superior of the two, since the second one "Roots and Wings" folk workshop will be sounds exactly the same. The lyrics are on guitar, accordion and harmonica. Suggestions for the buyer—If you don't held at Saint John's University beginning at cynically clever but are original nonethe- have all of the old Replacements albums, noon on Sunday, April 24. Featuring two less. Has some definite talents in the The workshops are scheduled from noon to by all means get them. Think of it as prominent women folk singers, Holly Near studio, but—caution—I heard him live on 1:15 p.m., 1:30 to 2:45 p.m., 3 to 4:15 p.m. buying a drink for Bob. and Ann Reed, Roots and Wings is being the Cities 97 Live Traffic Jam a while ago held in conjunction with the 21st annual and 4:30 to 5:45 p.m. All workshops will Swayed Pines Folk Festival. be held in classrooms of the Saint John's Customer Service University Quadrangle. Our Worldwide Reservations Center The Swayed Pines Festival will feature is looking for enthusiastic individuals concert headliners Near and John There will be an evening performance by who enjoy talking to people and McCutcheon on Saturday, April 23. the guest artists/teachers at 7:30 p.m. in the helping them with their travel plans. Stephen B. Humphrey Theater. Tickets for the concert will be $5. For more informa- „ft: We can help you Roots and Wings is a day-long workshop achieve your goals by that provides a unique opportunity for tion about any of the Swayed Pines artists and art-lovers to learn how art inter- Festival or Roots and Wings events call offering you a regular sects with diverse cultures. The workshops 612-363-2594. full time or summer full are intimate, allowing people to interact time opportunity to join directly with the artists and their art, and our globally successful organization. they are free and open to the public. ▪ Candidates who have earned a Travel School Certificate, or have Featured artists include Near, a nationally previous customer service, computer known folk artist whose music addresses contemporary events and gender issues, or travel experience will receive and Reed. A native Minnesotan, Reed has Congratulations!!! to Stephen Speilberg special consideration. gained national acclaim as folk artist and for finally being recognized for his amaz- Become one of Our reservationists. • Minimum .35 wpm keyboarding skills required Get a quick start on your career. • Flexible 40-hour week • Clean, modern work environment -songwriter. Many of her songs, such as ing efforts and accomplishments in film, "Heroes", focus on gender issues. to the women of "The Piano" for being • Tuition reimbursement • 4 medical plan choices recognized for a serious film that took • Company-paid dental & life insurance plans • 401(k) savings plan/company match guts to make, to Tommy Lee Jones (thank Other artists scheduled to appear are • Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Employer goodness you aren't bald!) for getting an "Voices of Sepharad," a group that 1994 Natittmtl Cat Rental Systems, Inc. explores in song and dance a Jewish cul- Oscar for a Harrison Ford film, and all the other Oscar winners who made the 66th tural tradition, and Mattie Clark, who will rent tell West African and African-American Annual Academy Award one of the best Nationalabonal . yet!! W.W. stories depicting the essence of the Black If interested, apply in person M-F between 8:30AM-3:00PM ; or call Jarrod Englebretson at (612) 830-2574; experience. or send your resume to: Human Resources, National Car Rental, 7700 France Ave S, Edina, MN 55435. Friday, April 8, 1994 page 10

KTCA's "Tape's Rolling!" to Premiere Following "Newsnight Minnesota"

News Release have the feeling of liveness about them. It's very different than what we've done in Immediately following the premiere of the past." NEWSNIGHT MINNESOTA, KTCA also will debut TAPE'S ROLLING! a new The series premiere is an affectionate trib- April Loft Fvents weekly half-hour series that captures the ute to the resurgence of enthusiasm for reality of life in the Twin Cities, introduc- baseball the way many feel it was meant to ing viewers in intimate detail to unknown, be—under the stars. "We don't need new little-known or unexplored people, places municipal stadiums. We don't need million Friday, April 29, 7:30 p.m.Join us for our bi-annual gala publication celebration, fea- and events. dollar players—and even worse—million turing Minnesota authors reading from their newly published books. Stay for the dollar front office dudes who don't have a gourmet reception, where the authors will be available for book-signing and informal The first show, profiling the upstart St. clue," says St. Paul Saints general manager conversation. $5, $3 students & seniors, free to Loft members Paul Saints, the team's exuberant fans and Michael Veeck, whose philosophy irreverent manager, airs Monday, April 25 includes the notion that "people need to Saturday, April 30, 11 a.m. at 7:30 pm on Channel 2 (R-Saturday, have fun. Fun is in very short supply." April 30, 1994 at 9:30 pm on Channel 2.) Joining in the fun are former Minnesota The Loft and Borders Bookshop present acclaimed young adult author, Marion Dane Twins owner Calvin Griffith, Casey Jones Bauer, reading from her new novel, A Question of Trust. Borders Bookshop, 1501 We're taking a cinema verite approach, of "Lunch With Casey," a well-fed pig, a Plymouth Avenue, Minnetonka.—Free almost like home movies. You're there Dixieland band, barbecuers, and 5,000 while the action is going on," comments jubilant fans. Producer Emily Goldberg. "The shows all Eighteenth Annual Arts & clothing and much more. Some artists will Crafts on the Village Green be demonstrating their work at the fair. gAz cSzczLt g az dirt The most award nominated production of the 1990-91 Broadway season, The Secret Concessions will be sold throughout the Brooms at a. sii.totia Garden received 14 Drama Desk nomina- News Release day by local churches and boy scouts, and tion (a record), seven Tony nominations and picnic tables will be available for refresh- Ozprizumizaizz four Outer Critics Circle Award nomina- Saturday, June 18, 1994 is the day that the ments and relaxation. It will be a family tions. It won Tony awards for Best Book of Bayport Community Action League will day for all, and will be held rain or shine. a Musical, Best Set Design and Best News Release hold the Eighteenth Annual "Arts & Crafts Supporting Actress; Drama Desk awards for on the Village Green", from 10:00 am to Bayport is a beautiful city on the St. Croix Outstanding Book of a Musical, 5:00 pm. The Village Green is on St. Paul, MN, March 29, 1994—The River locatedon Highway 95, between. Outstanding Orchestration, and Outstanding Highway 95 in Bayport, Minn. Admission Secret Garden, which charmed audiences HiQhwav 36 and Interstate 94. It is lir,t 3 Set Design and Outer Critics Circle awards is free and about 180 artists and craftspeo- miles south of Stillwater, 18 miles east of during its two sold-out weeks at the for Outstanding Design. ple from several states will be selling their St. Paul, 30 miles east of Minneapolis and Ordway Music Theatre in July 1992, is wares, which include woodcraft, stained coming back to the Twin Cities. The pro- just across the river from Hudson, The Minneapolis engagement of The Secret glass, pottery, macrame, rosemaling, jew- Wisconsin. The Village Green is right on duction will open at the Historic Orpheum Garden is presented by the Ordway Music elry, photography, painting, weaving, Highway 95, and there will be several signs Theatre in downtown Minneapolis on Theatre and is part of the First Trust Theater directing you there once you get into town. Friday, April 29 and run through Tuesday, Season. May 3, 1994. The Secret Garden performance schedule Inspired by the classic Francis Hodgson for April 29-May 3, 1994 at the Historic iRiAg Burnett children's novel of the same ttmaailia Orpheum Theatre is: name, The Secret Garden tells the story of a young girl sent to live with her uncle on Natio Fri., Sat., 8 p.m. $24,$33,$40,$45 the English Moors in 1906. On his large, DEDICATED TO SERVING THE ENTIRE CONCORDIA lonely estate she discovers the key to a COMMUNITY secret walled garden. Her loving attention Sat., Sun., Tues., 2 p.m. $14,$23,$30,$35 brings the garden back to life, even as it heals her own spiritual wounds and those Sun., Mon., Tues., 8 p.m.$19,$28,$35,$40 Quick, Convenient Service of the people in the house. in a Relaxing

In addition, for all three matinee perfor- Atmosphere DINING SERVICE The Secret Garden is a collaboration by mances there is a special childrens' ticket services g some of the most creative talents on price of $20. Broadway today: Pulitzer Prize and Tony COME TO THE DINING HALL award winner Marsha Norman (book and Tickets may be purchased in person at the lyrics); Grammy winner Lucy Simon Historic Orpheum (910 Hennepin) or State COME TO THE DINING HALL (composer); Tony award nominee Susan (805 Hennepin Ave.) Theatre Box Offices H. Schulman (director); and Tony winners and at all Ticketmaster outlets. For phone COME TO THE DINING HALL Heidi Landesman (producer and scenic orders, call Ticketmaster at (612)989-5151. COME TO THE DINING HALL designer), Theoni V. Aldredge (costumes) Tickets range in price $19-$45. and Tharon Musser (lighting). LUNCH LUNCH OR DINNER The Secret Garden opened on Broadway April 25, 1991 at the St. James Theatre FREE 160Z BEVERAGE OR INVITATION TO ENTIRE CONCORDIA COMMUNITY... where it continues to play to sold-out COFFEE WITH PURCHASE OF TWO FOR ONE houses. "This is the best American musi- HOT SANDWICH IN THE DINING ENTREE OR SANDWICH cal of the; Broadway season," raved Time HALL AT DINING HALL Magazin*. The Wall Street Journal enthused it's "an evening of musical Expires April 21, 1994 Expires April 21, 1994 delight!" j Valid Monday Through Friday Between 11:45 a.m. & Buy one entree and get the second Entree of equal or 1:30 a.m. less value for free. (CLIP & SAVE) (CLIP & SAVE) Friday, April 8, 1994 page 11 OPINIONS

Robert go Ala Christopher

Well it seems that one paper comes out I finally explained that it had not been the The registrar's office is always going out It seems that a lot of people disagree. It just about the time that another article is final issue and there was a handful of arti- of their way for people. I don't know how seems that they feel that it is bad to ques- due. I rarely get to receive any reaction cles yet to be written. At that point she many times someone from the registrar's tion authority. Where would Christianity from the readers before I have to write expressed her sympathy for the administra- office has come to get me out of class be today if authority wasn't questioned. another installment. Luckily this time I tion. She asked me why I go to Concordia because one of my kids needed to be Would Lutheranism exist? was able to get some feedback from one if I feel that it is such an awful place. picked up from daycare. reader. My Mommy. You can call her Ma I had a discussion with the Controller last for short. Well I didn't really have a chance to tell Administration is always meeting with stu- fall. She asked my two questions, "Do you her, on the phone, what I think of dents to hear their concerns. I may not write that Smigley article?" and "Aren't I can't say that my Mom has been pleased Concordia as a whole. Actually for a while always agree with their decisions but I do you pre-sem." I do not understand how with many of the articles that I have writ- I couldn't get a word in edge-wise. So know that they will listen and take into one question should provoke the other. But ten. Actually I can't say that she has been please bear with me while I explain. account my opinions. it did. pleased with any of the articles. But I'm glad to say that we agree to disagree. After On the whole I love Concordia College. That is what this column is all about. I like I respect narrow- minded thinking just as I my last article she was particularly irate, The faculty is great. I have an advisor that I Concordia. I will feel proud for receiving a feel open-minded thinking should be. I though. can meet with regularly. I can meet person- college degree from Concordia. I pray that also agree to disagree. But people who ally with faculty whenever I need to Concordia is around for another 100 years. don't agree to disagree I rarely respect. She was under the assumption that the last discuss something. Most classes are flexi- Because of this I feel compelled to raise issue had been the final issue for the year. ble and are geared to benefit the student in awareness and provoke discussion. I don't I've probably beat a dead horse, but its as She went on for a little while about how the best way possible. want to see Concordia collapse, or become close to a graduating speech as I'll ever disappointed she was that for an entire a full time night school. I want Concordia come. By the way have you seen the price year I couldn't find anything positive to I find support staff to be generally friendly to remain the family environment that I of those graduation announcements? write about Concordia. She stated how I and courteous. The staff goes out of their have come to love. Pricey!! I did mine myself for abou-t $.03 should hope that a potential employer way to say "Hi" and usually knows the per announcement. Feel free to ask me would never read these articles because I name of the person they are saying "Hi" to. It is not my job to dwell on what works at how. make Concordia sound awful. What type At times I may not agree with my bill or Concordia. I will leave that to Nathan of education would they think that I've financial aid but I know I can go into the Mueller. It is my job to look at what could One last thing: If you read this you are received from such an institution? office at anytime and discuss things. be fixed and start the ball rolling. invited to Smigley's Night Before Graduation Party, Friday, May 27, at 8:00 If I hear of something that causes concern at Smigley's. and dissatisfaction amongst students, I write about it. I'm pretty sure that bringing things to light and placing the cards on the Letter to the Editor table has to provoke some reaction and eventually change.

If ever we as students, faculty, and staff In a society that is pathetically drowning in needed to be reminded of how truly blessed a mire of moral relativeness, Concordia's we are to be associated with Concordia unabashed allegiance to God's moral College, consider: The United States Naval absolutes is analogous to a breath of fresh Academy...sterling symbol of the brightest air. As one observes the fruits that are bore By R'ger Koopman and best that America can produce. by these contrasting philosophies of life, is there as question as to which one truly Recently, that scrupulous reputation was serves humankind?! severely marred by the startling news that as many as 71 midshipmen had cheated on Concordia College...my kind of school. an exam. Tim Utter As disturbing as these acts of dishonestly might be, however, the most alarming dis- closure of this regrettable story was advanced by Sean Fahey, the senior brigade commander who holds the highest rank among the 4,200 students at Annapolis. "Our class," said Fahey, "...grew up at a time when nobody in our entire lives, in any institution, was ever there to tell us what's right or wrong."

What a truly devastating indictment of adults placed in positions of authority who have failed miserably in their responsibili- ties in the guidance of our youth. Nevertheless, what a sobering reminder of just how precious Concordia's Mission Statement is to each and every one of us as we strive to "...prepare students (and, by implication, faculty/staff) for...dedicated After 5 years and no mate, Roger Rabbit finally service to God and humanity..." realized the implications of Natural Selection. Friday, April 8, 1994 page 12 LAST WORDS Spring ~in 1994 am ACE r EULigE vs) Eill Eill Tickets on sale now from the OFS cashiers window! Only $15.00 -Der -person Buy them before they sell out Brought to you by Special Activities of Student Senate

%fon cD'oetwkes incQude: Date: Saturday. LA/we 30th Uttesh calved tutd2e4 cloissants Olicg chicken kabobs with peanut sauce nine: 8 pm - 12:90 am ('lab ceaws with cocktaiQ sauce Scallops mapped in bacon Location: Uhe Commode/Le LA/lead:las in come pound honey mustard sauce (olAcip is induded on the back) ottush,loom caps stuAed with itaaan sausage and heks Ausitkoom caps stuAed uAth ga4c and spinach 1,1ench Load and ktuit COSI: is dotQa/ts pelt peon &inputted cheeses and spreads sewed clJegetalles Lath di dip acuet9, and sta6f, uAT be cooed Pci2ets troft spouses oci students, ti accoeate and caund iendue with klesh appees and stAawEemies by Student Seances) hidudes gime uxittcy coach sItuttee LA PflotogikaPho kor cPottaft w I I by ga La be avaiealle bar se/twee, 6hee pakbing. litee calticatuhe 8:30 pm to 10:00 pm. clActoe pafr•ages ate exbia and me priced as filows: 2 - 5x7 and 4 wallets $15.95 thatvings. 6kie how oritaton cautage 2- 8x10 and 8 wallets $20.95 hicl,es. Exec (D.j. dance. and %lolls 2-8x10, 2- 5x7 and 8 wallets $29.95 cD oeutotes.