IN THIS ISSUE THEDECEMBER DEATH / / OF 2019 A / / WINTERRUGBY’S ISSUE WORLD CHILEAN MEME EXPANSION PROTESTS

Editors: Ron Ghersin and Fred Azeredo

Lisgar’s only and best student-run newspaper

The United Nations: A Defective Organization? Life After High School ASER ABDELGAWAD LIA FERGUSON

ing this time, I realized the B ack in Grade 9, one of unspoken reality behind the A s high school students at a my most exciting expecta- fancy attire and sophisticated time in our lives of major decision- tions for high school was the language of the UN. As an making, we are often presented fact that I could finally join avid MUNner, it is a bit iron- with the question “what do you the Model United Nations ic for me to call the UN a want to do when you grow up?”. club. I joined for many rea- defective organization, but it Most of us will give a vague de- sons, but mainly because I really is. scription of our career goals or the was interested in global is- In emergencies, it is field we want to study, but I’ve sues and international poli- the Security Council’s job to never heard anyone offer any other tics in general. It was surreal make quick, effective deci- details about what they see for to me that I was going to be sions to restore international themselves in the future. To be replicating what is done at stability, and that is exactly fair, this is a reasonable answer the United Nations, the most why they are the most pow- since our education right now prestigious organization in erful organ in the United Na- seems to be preparing us for a ca- the world. I am now a three- tions. Unlike the General As- reer path we will work towards in year MUN veteran who has sembly, representation in Se- the coming years. For senior stu- dressed up for too many con- curity Council sessions is dents, there is a justifiable focus on ferences to keep count. Dur- exclusively lim- determining which profession will Cont. p.8 be the best fit for us; however, this focus comes with undeniable pres- sure to find a career that will lead to a liveable income, stability, and most importantly, fulfillment in life. The desire to find substance in our work is evident in the com- mon saying “follow Cont. p.4

1 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

How to Not Succumb to Christmas Consumerism TARA ORANGE saying that giving gifts is a bad travelling during the holiday sea- A h Christmas, the time of giv- thing, but I have noticed a degen- son often turns into a stressful dis- ing and infinite joy to spread all eration toward a sort of competi- aster due to snowstorms, delayed around. This special time of year tion to buy the perfect present, or cancelled flights, etc. It’s either brings families and friends togeth- and to buy as many of them as finding the right hotel with the er to cherish one another, to make you can. cheapest cost, or booking in ad- up for all the lost chances of reu- The truth is, Christmas has vance, or even buying a cheap niting. That is the true purpose of been so intensely commercialized enough airplane ticket; the list Christmas… or is it? As wonder- that its spirit has slowly but surely goes on; another hurdle to tackle ful and magical as it is, the signif- withered away. It has become a in order to make the “perfect icance of Christmas has been money-making scheme for big Christmas”. I remember once hav- shadowed by the big, booming corporations. Even the Santa ing to celebrate Christmas early signs of Black Friday, Cyber Claus we know today was an in- because the flight we could get Monday, and Boxing Day sales. vention of toy companies in the was on Christmas day and it took During these hectic days of spe- Victorian era so they could make away from the special efferves- cial promotions, people swarm to some money. Also, it gets so in- cence of the holiday. I’ve also their favorite stores in a desperate credibly obnoxious when all you heard stories of people actually attempt to tick all Christmas gifts hear on the radio for an entire bringing all the Christmas gifts for loved ones off their lists. All month is Christmas sales com- with them on their trip. A little to show their love and apprecia- mercials, and don’t even get me extra in my opinion… tion for family and Now, finally, friends. But to what end? Christmas decorating. It’s What amount of gifts and absolutely great, I love it. treats makes the perfect But when a box of orna- Christmas? ments becomes more ex- Now, I love getting pensive than the actual gifts presents as much as the I’m supposed to be giving, next person, and I defi- it becomes a little less en- nitely feel the pressure to ticing. Apart from cost, a buy the perfect gifts for lot of Christmas decora- my friends to show just tions are made of plastic or how much they mean to other non-recyclable mate- me. But what I’ve come to realize started on all the #christmas posts rials, which isn’t so great for the over the years is that the whole that bombard my feed the minute environment. I know that a lot of endeavor has become nothing Halloween is over. people reuse their decorations, but more than that. I know that it’s a And now, with travel more that’s not something everyone can time of celebration and that it convenient and accessible than do. A lot of people buy new deco- brings family and friends togeth- ever, Christmas is the perfect time rations every year. Why? I have er. However, gift-giving seems to of year to escape, especially for us no idea. Thankfully, there are al- have become the only exciting Canadians who dread the cold. ways alternatives. There are so thing about the holiday. I’m not Yet, instead of a fun adventure, many different ways to transform

2 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

things into Christmas tree decora- ful as it is usually made out to be. That’s why this year I’ve decided

tions, from wrapping your tree Instead of succumbing to the to spend no money at all on pre- with orange peel, to tying popcorn stress of Christmas shopping, let’s sents. Instead, I’ll focus on the on a string as a garland. Christmas simply honor the tradition of simple traditions, even if consum- trees are also something that can bringing family and friends to- erism and technology are exerting be a little more eco-friendly; buy- gether. As for the holiday va- more pressure than ever. You can ing a real one creates no waste cay— staycations are great, there do as I do, and, this Christmas, and makes great compost, as op- are so many things to do in your forget the sales and focus on posed to a fake one that will sure- own town that you may have nev- what’s really important: food, ly eventually end up in a landfill. er even heard of. Lastly, the deco- family, and fun. All this to say that Christ- rations, just like the gifts, don’t mas does not have to be as stress- have to cost an arm and a leg.

Poetry

Poor Timing An Excuse For An Errant Snowball I shovel 'neath dark winter sky You may think that I am to blame While small snowflakes silently fly But I've neither remorse nor shame Once finished, all sore, For the direct hit. I open my door I'm telling you it Right as the snow-plow goes by. Was the wind's fault: it threw off my aim.

Dinner I feel as though I were a bowl of peas Knots Stuck at the table, between two turkeys Why are knots so pretty? I tie them every day I only tie small ones Big ones get noticed Maybe if I tie a big one they’ll buy me rope Then i’ll be able to tie more knots Credits Or they’ll take my rope away Poor Timing by Gabriel Arrigo I don’t want them to take my rope away I love knots An Excuse For An Errant They’re so pretty I wish i could crawl into one and be with it Snowball by Gabriel Arrigo forever Forever away from the world Knots by Omeed Sahabi Forever That sounds nice I wish I could tie one big enough Dinner by Gabriel Arrigo

3 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

Life After Highschool

LIA FERGUSON

(Continued from page1 ) what we do at work. Despite ification, a community, and the pressure to find gratifica- many other benefits. On the your passion”, which is a piece tion in our careers, I firmly other hand, it can also be the of advice most of us have believe that we should not be cause of stress or be detri- probably heard. While I under- deceived into viewing our fu- mental to the individual’s stand the merit to seeking a ture careers as the defining health. Work will have a dif- career that leads to a sense of aspect of our lives. While ferent role in everyone’s life, personal fulfillment, countless work takes up a significant and it is up to us as individuals elements make the search for amount of time in an individu- to evaluate the size of that role the ideal career far more nu- al’s life, it’s important to re- as a determining factor in our anced than simply doing what member that there are count- lives. you’re passionate about. These less ways to find fulfillment Ultimately, the main include the need for a sustaina- and joy other than the way we reason we must work is to sup- ble income, inaccessibility to make money. For many peo- port our lifestyles, but our the education required, and the ple, the ultimate goal in life is work does not need to hinder amount of time an individual to have a happy family with our ability to be fulfilled in is able to dedicate to their ca- close relationships and family life. I believe that a society of reer. We are also plagued with traditions. Other people will people driven by passion and the notion that there are things find fulfillment by participat- pursuing their ideals leads to a at which we just aren’t good ing in strong communities, or more vibrant culture for every- enough to make a career out by pursuing their passions in one. Overall, we need to work of. All of these factors are val- the form of hobbies. In these to eliminate the perception that id reasons which prevent peo- cases, a job finances the indi- people’s value can be deter- ple from following their pas- vidual’s goals, but does not mined by their career, and fo- sions. define their identity. We cus on actualizing our full po- Someday, most of us should question the role our tential in the areas of life will end up with jobs, and it’s occupation plays in our lives. which we value most. likely that many of us will not For some of us, our career can feel a sense of fulfillment from offer an income, personal grat- Survey Says Here are some of the responses we got on the @lisgarwrite Instagram to the question: “Should people chase their “dream job”, or settle for something more realistic?”

4 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

Secondary Students At The Front Of The Chilean Revolution

LUCA FULGA plan will show positive effects on posed subversives dead or missing, T he residents of Santiago de the situation, or if it’s too little too drove an estimated 200,000 into Chile are furious due to raised met- late. exile, and tortured tens of thou- ro subway fares, privatization, in- This movement came as a sands more, using techniques bor- creased cost of living and prevalent surprise to me, as it did to much of rowed from the CIA. Most of the inequality. Secondary school stu- the public. Seeing as during the 17- high-ranking officers responsible dents especially have begun pro- year-military junta led by Augusto for this were never tried, and sever- tests all across Chile’s capital. Pinochet the economy in Chile rose al continue to advise the current These protests began on the significantly and has kept on rising Piñera government. 14th of October this year. To sum- (with some significant interrup- In my view what these marize, it began as an organized tions) to the present day, Chile was demonstrations truly show is the fare evasion campaign imposed by widely regarded as an example for repercussions of poor distribution the secondary students of Santiago. the rest of Latin America to follow. of wealth. It is not sufficient for a However, the situation country’s economy and quickly escalated, with in- GDP to grow. The average teractions with the Carabi- Chileans have not seen the neros de Chile (the national benefits of the price infla- militarized police force). tion; therefore, they feel like Four days after the move- they have nothing to lose. ment began (October 18) They can choose either to the situation became more participate in the protests serious as groups of protest- and have a chance of chang- ers started vandalizing and ing the situation for them- destroying many parts of selves and future genera- the Santiago city metro sys- tions or they can go through tem. For a time this caused the en- However, it should be noted that the poor public education system tire metro system to stop function- Pinochet’s economic policies great- and have a low chance of making it ing entirely. All 81 stations sus- ly helped the Chilean economy by into a good university. After that, tained major damage and 17 were implementing neoliberal policies chances are they would end up been completely burned down. The inspired by Chicago school econo- working for minimum wage and protests have also left a total of 26 mists like Milton Friedman and barely be able to make ends meet. people dead in their wake and backed by the United States came With all this in mind, I be- countless injured. with a price: mass political repres- lieve that the protests are extremely On December 2nd the Chile- sion and autocratic rule. Pinochet important for the future growth of an government, headed by Sebas- marketed the whole rigorous pro- the country. However, I also think tian Piñera announced its plans to cess as a “national reconstruction” that rebuilding the damaged infra- kick off a $5.5 billion economic since the country was on the cusp structure of the country will take recovery plan. To finance this, they of change no matter what (due to many years and will likely prove to plan to borrow widely from foreign the economic crash that came at the be a difficult process. Nevertheless, currencies and increase the already- end of democratically-elected Sal- if the government listens, the pro- significant national debt. Time will vador Allende’s rule). All in all, the tests can only be a positive move tell whether the promised recovery dictatorship left over 3,000 sup- for Chile.

5 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

Baroness: From Georgia With Love

OMEED SAHABI until it was promptly dethroned by and production. Established early on G ood albums are hard to come the next. As the yellow side of the is the band’s tendency to stack up by, good bands less so. It is because album wrapped up with the nostalgic distorted metal guitar parts with of this fact that, whenever I stumble Eula, I had no idea what to expect clean country lines during verses, a upon an exceptional example of mu- out of the second side, except great- writing pattern that sets them apart sicianship and songwriting, it is im- ness. My expectations were far sur- from the pack. portant to me to make them known passed. The Red Album left me both to the wider school community. My Yellow & Green is one of impressed at its quality and disap- journey with the band Baroness the best albums I have heard this pointed that it simply wasn’t another started as a serendipitous encounter year. It has all the makings of a Yellow & Green. I wrote down a on everybody’s favourite music dis- 10/10 album and not a single song is rating in my spreadsheet, 6.5/10, and covery platform, youtube. Upon lis- weaker than the rest. This album is moved on to their next album, Blue tening to a song of theirs that came Record. A more bluegrass inspired up on autoplay, I immediately put on way of writing is mixed with a more their most popular album, Yellow & overtly metal influence that can be Green. heard in the rhythm guitar parts that After a beautiful instrumen- meshes with the characteristically tal intro, I was launched into a slam- low-mixed vocals of Baizley in this ming introduction. The fuzzed-out record. A more consistent album, in guitar tones, the punk chord in the both theme and quality, comes from verse, and the absolutely sublime the band’s maturing in this era. bass tone mixed perfectly with John A larger contrast between Dyer Baizley’s voice and lyricism. the harder and softer parts of the al- This introduction readied me for a almost impossible to leave behind. bum also blooms in the band’s ado- hard rock album with a really nice The melancholic yet rootsy guitar lescence, moving them cleanly out of modern edge, counterbalanced with voicings mixed with the beautiful the realm of metal and closer to the a rootsy, country flavour that can baritone singing is simply gripping. bluegrass influenced hard rock band only be described as the home of the This is an album I would recom- they are now. Blue Record is on part band, the American south, incarnate. mend to anyone. with The Red Album in quality, but What I found in the next song, how- In their first work, chrono- definitely marks a progression in ever, was anything but the hard rock logically,The Red Album, I was met writing quality and musicianship. that I was expecting. The song be- with a metal album, surprisingly, and Skipping Yellow & Green, I gins with a beautiful harmonized not a bad one at that. While not near- moved on to their second to most guitar intro and builds perfectly into ly the incredible 74 minutes of music recent album, Purple. Immediately, I an exquisite piece about a lost friend. that Yellow & Green was, The Red was caught off-guard by the 80’s At this point, I knew I was in for a Album is no slouch. I could already synthpop sounds that showed up in great album, listening on; I was hit see the band’s progression from the this album, seemingly out of no- with what I thought would be the metal band that they started out as to where. Still more consistent than best song of the album, Little the progressive rock band they are Yellow & Green in song style and Things. This song is simply perfect, now. quality, Purple unfortunately does and the rest of the first side of the This album moves from met- not replicate the magic of its prede- album bore no decrease in quality; al to bluegrass fusion, decreasing in cessor. every single song held the place of quality as the songs flow past, but Their most recent album, the best song while I listened to it, consistent in its raw musicianship Gold & Grey, is a return to form for

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Baroness, leaving behind the ple and Blue Record, Gold & Grey evolution through a career, with no synthpop influences of Purple and perfectly blends the musical styles of shortage of highly appealing records expanding on the style of Yellow & their previous work, setting the stage and songs. I would recommend Yel- Green. Less consistent in quality for better albums in the future. low & Green as a starting point, after than the previous two albums, it is Of course, replicating an which Gold & Grey picks up the not without its quality songs. Songs album like Yellow & Green is all but boredom. If you are interested in a like Cold Blooded Angels and Front impossible, but Baroness have less accessible listen that doesn’t Towards Enemy channel the raw shown excellent artistic maturity in lack any reward, the two earlier al- emotion of Red and Blue Record their evolution past, and eventual bums are pure aural chocolate. Pur- while keeping the maturity of Yel- return to their acclaimed record. ple is the most skippable of their dis- low & Green. A 9/10 album through Consistently increasing in polish, but cography contrary to its uniqueness. and through, Gold & Grey seems to learning to not ignore the raw nature In short, Baroness has no shortage of be the start of a new era of music for that made their earlier albums so quality listens. Baroness; having moved past their compelling in their imperfection. more experimental albums like Pur- Baroness is a case study in an artists

Rugby’s World Expansion LUCAS ORANGE its practice has since grown expo- sonal experience that if the game T here exists a sport known as nentially in a very short time. is played properly and its rules are rugby, and you may not have no- From what I have noticed in the respected, no one will get hurt. ticed but almost every high school few years I have been playing Another way rugby ac- in Canada is playing it. sport rugby in Ottawa, every year there quires one’s attention is by not gained my attention when I heard are at least a dozen new players being able to make overhand and my friends (of whom were mostly joining my rugby club; trying it forward passes, which may seem French and English foreigners as for the first time. There are at a bit counter-productive. In my well) talk about it at school. So I least a dozen rugby clubs in Otta- opinion, this specific rule is prob- then decided to go to one of their wa and Gatineau alone. There are ably what makes it such a great practices try it out. I almost in- provincial tournaments and com- sport because it makes you use stantly got hooked to the sport petitions that go on all year, and your head to find different ways and found it fascinating. I only elite teams that are invited to in- and methods to create plays and lived in Ghana for two years and ternational rugby championships win the match. the rugby practices were orga- overseas. Rugby is now played in Nevertheless, as said be- nized by foreigners from France. most high schools in Canada. fore, rugby is an extremely capti- They consisted mostly of other The game attracts people vating sport that attracts people foreigners such as myself. in various ways, one of them be- from all ages, all over the world. I However, over time some ing the fairly straightforward con- have been playing both rugby sev- locals started to gain interest in cept of not having to wear any ens and fifteens for more than five this foreign sport that they had protective equipment. This tends years now and my personal rugby never heard of and joined our to bring up lots of questions and experience has been nothing but practices. In Canada, Rugby is a controversy in the rugby commu- exciting and fun. I would definite- relatively new sport. Most schools nity about whether or not the ly recommend this sport to any- have been introduced to the sport sport is safe to play. However, I body. only in the past 5 to 10 years, and can tell you right now from per-

7 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

The United Nations: A Defective Organization?

ASER ABDELGAWAD

(Continued from page1 ) cal prioritization of their own ge- seems like every week now that I opolitical interests over global see UN Secretary-General Anto- ited to 15 members. Ten are welfare, and the rest of the world nio Guterres issue a press release elected on a biannual basis, while suffers as a result. regarding our negligence towards the remaining five are permanent Another problem that battling climate change. And members of the committee, cannot be ignored is rooted in the frankly, I understand why he known as the P5. In 1945, the UN defunct UN system itself. Aside does it so frequently: because it is Charter declared the U.S, China, from the Security Council, which all he can do. He does not have Russia, France, and the United is already a corrupt establish- the power to force anyone to do Kingdom as the P5 countries of ment, all other UN organs and anything, so he diplomatically the UNSC, and that is when all affiliates have no control regard- pleads for countries to listen. the corruption began. ing whether or not their solutions Just as it seemed there is The power that P5 coun- are actually implemented. To nothing left to criticize, the UN tries hold is simply too great. elaborate, the UN’s primary has exceeded our expectations Each P5 nation has the power to method of resolving pending is- yet again. Its ineffectiveness as veto a decision made by the Se- sues is via resolutions, which are an international authority is a curity Council. This means that if official documents that outline a genuine problem that must be 14 countries believe in a course specific course of action to be addressed sooner or later. Since of action, one country can execu- taken. The problem is that none its establishment, the UN has tively reject it. This is clearly a of these resolutions are legally been called out multiple times on crippled system which can very binding, and hence UN member- its hypocritical actions. While the easily cause an unavoidable con- states are not obligated to abide organization claims it fights for flict of interest. In the case that by them in any way. In plain peace, its lacking use of violence the Council is tasked with resolv- words, the UN has no authority to protect the innocent has been ing an issue in which a P5 coun- over anyone, and their solutions appalling. The UN was a by- try is directly involved, there is can very easily be pushed aside stander in the atrocious genocides no way that the issue will be re- by nations’ governments without of Srebrenica and that of Darfur. solved effectively and impartial- consequence. Today, we can see In fact, for the former, it is be- ly. Any proposed solutions that the effects of this lousy system in lieved that Dutch UN peacekeep- will harm the P5 country at hand the climate change inaction di- ers were the cause of many will surely be vetoed and thrown lemma. Right now, the world is deaths in the Balkans as they out the window. As a result, the collectively behind when it made a blatant, costly mistake. Council resorts to a mediocre, comes to combating climate Not to mention that today, the ineffective solution because that change. But of course, the UN UN is under some serious heat is the only thing they can pass. really can’t do anything about it. for its inappropriate peacekeepers This scenario has occurred multi- What makes it more ridiculous is who have been accused of vari- ple times already, most notably in the fact that the recent Paris ous sexual assault allegations. the Syrian Civil War crisis, Agreement, which was supposed Clearly, the entire organization where Russia’s support for dicta- to be the remedy to our climate needs some tweaking. tor Bashar Al-Assad has hindered woes, is also non-binding, just This opinion is shared by efforts to stabilize the region. The like all other UN initiatives. many who have been part of the P5 countries have demonstrated Therefore it is no surprise that no UN’s poorly-structured system, time and time again their unethi- real progress is being made. It including Ottawa’s very own Al-

8 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

(Continued from page 8) He spoke passionately about times Overall, some serious re- where the United Nations, especial- forms need to be made to the UN. lan Rock. Serving as the Canadian ly its Western members, simply did If anything, the creation of a new Ambassador to the United Nations not fulfill their obligations to world organization altogether would be a in New York, Rock had a fair peace and international coopera- better option. To successfully deal amount to say about the UN at tion. An example of which is the with the needs and demands of the uOttawa’s CAPMUN conference. Rwandan genocide, where the UN world, said organization must have Even though he was the guest watched helplessly as an ethnic civ- an equal balance of power, while speaker at a MUN event, he was il war claimed the lives of over also being firm and assertive in not hesitant to point out the failures 800,000 people over four months. every decision. It must have a sys- of the United Nations, highlighting He ended off his speech by an in- tem of operation that is effective, the ineffectiveness of its Security spirational reminder to stand up for productive, and fair to ensure that Council, along with the underlying what is right, even when nobody mankind keeps moving in the right corruption within the organization. else is (referring to the UN). direction.

The Case for Electoral Reform AIDAN WILSON How? In First Past the Post, if the There is also the Closed-List sys- C anada is hailed across the candidate you voted for doesn’t win tem, which is similar to the Open- world as a bastion of democracy, the election, your vote is essentially List system except voters can’t se- but is it? In the wake of the October ignored. Or in BC, when the 2001 lect specific MPs, instead voting for 21st federal election, I’ll look at the election saw the Liberals take 77 of the party they like. The party then system on which our elections are 79 seats. The kicker; they only got fills their body of MPs as they see run. I’ll cover the way our system 57% of the vote. Yes, you read that fit. This can take away the voice of works, the problems with it, alter- right, 57% of the vote translated to voters to an extent, but it also keeps natives to it, and, ultimately, I’ll be 97.5% of the power. things simple. making the case for electoral re- Some alternatives for First There is also the option of form. Past the Post systems exist. Mixed-Member Proportional- In First Past the Post, par- The Open-List system pre- Representation. In this system, you ties (may) run candidates in any or sents voters with a list of all candi- vote twice. Once for a party, and all of the 338 ridings in Canada. dates being run for an area. Voters once for a representative for your The candidate with the most votes can then either vote for the party of constituency. There are more seats in any given riding gets a seat in the their choosing, or vote for a specific than there are constituencies. This House of Commons and becomes candidate. (A vote for a candidate means that once all constituency the MP for their district. The leader counts as a vote for the party.) The seats are filled, votes for a party of the party with the most ridings more votes a party gets, the larger dictate what percentage of the re- won becomes the Prime Minister. the percentage of MPs in the riding maining seats go to that party. Seems simple enough, but it raises will be affiliated with that party. If So, is electoral reform a few problems. a party gets 78% of the vote in an worth it? Yes. First Past the Post is A major issue with Past the area, 78% of MPs for that area will a problematic, clunky system and Post is that many voters end up be part of that party. This is com- it’s about time for a change. Our with votes that might as well never pletely proportional and makes system needs a change, but that have been cast. In fact, in 2017, sense; however, larger ridings can change is up to you. I’m simply half of voters didn’t contribute mean MPs who are out of touch here to make the case for electoral whatsoever to the results of the with their electorates’ specific local reform. election, despite having voted. views.

9 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

The Irishman—Movie Review

LUCAS BENGLE-STANLEY

the Italian mob, eventually be- was multiple dialogue scenes M artin Scorsese’s recently- coming close friends with high- throughout the movie were ex- released Netflix movie “The ranking mobster Russell Bufali- tremely drawn out, feeling Irishman”, based on the Charles no (Joe Pesci, brilliant in his pointlessly long at times. Brandt nonfiction novel I Heard first role in over a decade). His The movie is sort of un- You Paint Houses, is an amaz- job within the organization is officially separated into parts. ing crime-drama movie, taking ‘painting houses’— a euphe- The 1950’s where Frank’s ca- place in Philadelphia from the mism for being a hitman. reer in the mafia business be- 1950s to the early 2000s. I will Through one of these assign- gan. The 1960’s where they all try my best to avoid spoiling the ments, he meets American labor end up in the thick of the devel- story in this review, but it’s bet- leader Jimmy Hoffa (Al Pacino, oping crisis revolving around ter to be safe than sorry, so I’d doing his thing to great effect) Kennedy’s election and multiple recommend caution either way and befriends him as well. From scandals involving Hoffa. 2003 if you plan to see it. being the last point in the sto- Now, about the story. ry, when Frank is old and The movie clocks in at 3 and a nearing death. half hours (the longest com- The pacing of these mercially-released Hollywood parts is no different to the rest feature since Kenneth Bra- of the story. In the first part, it nagh’s four-hour “Hamlet” took a bit of time before I from 1996, though this one could really get into the story, has substantially more swear- but when I did, I was well ing), but it fits the story well and truly hooked. and even feels compressed at then on, mediating between The first part brought me times, which is a testament to these two sides becomes pro- into the movie with a great mix how truly epic the whole thing gressively more difficult, lead- of action and story, the second is. But even though the runtime ing up to a truly sensational cli- part showed a great rise and fall and scale of the proceedings feel max, which it would be unfair to in the story, the line being a little old-fashioned, Scorsese’s give away. drawn out fairly clearly. And approach to the material is thor- Only after the movie the third and final part hit me oughly innovative and entirely was over did I notice how well- deep in the feels with the final successful. That’s for the best, done the pacing was, which on- parts to the story of Frank. because the gangster milieu the ly speaks better for how absorb- By the time I finished movie plunges us into is famil- ing it was. It pulls you in with a the movie, I was constantly iar from many other gangster fast-paced action scene, fol- glancing at the time, checking films, notably the director’s own lowed directly by a scene with how long could possibly be left, “GoodFellas”. In fact, the movie only dialogue, then a pause in but with great performances even has overlapping characters action and story (the perfect from De Niro, Pesci and Pacino, from that film. I won’t say any time to go to the bathroom un- doubled with the writing of more apart from that they’re less you’ve a superhuman blad- Scorsese forms this into a great there. der), all of them perfectly placed movie. In broad terms, the mov- to create a compelling rhythm. Although long, the act- ie is about truck driver and un- Although being lengthy, ing and writing of this story ion member Frank Sheeran I feel it was still perfectly justi- make “The Irishman” a great (Robert De Niro, blue-eyed and fied for the sheer amount of watch and a movie best saved de-aged with CGI but still char- things Scorsese had in mind, for a rainy day where you defi- acteristically excellent), the titu- most of which he executed fair- nitely have some time. lar ‘Irishman’, who falls in with ly well. One problem that I had

10 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

Tips for Seasonal Affective Disorder

LAILA ELBAZ shampoo and put it in whatever I n recent years, many people One of the most common feelings style you prefer just so that way have been diagnosed with mental of seasonal depression, is wanting it’ll be out of your face and a bit illnesses such as anxiety, depres- to go in a hibernating mode. A more comfortable for you. If you sion, eating disorders and more. study from 2017 shows that this is can’t bring yourself to make In this article, I’ll be focusing on most definitely not the way to go: something to eat, ordering food is one that’s been pushed aside by “If you wake up and you want to okay. The important thing is eat- society. That being, seasonal de- pull the covers over your eyes, ing something in the day and not pression. Since the cold season that's the worst thing to do [...] starving yourself: “There’s noth- has begun, lots of people suffer Get more sunlight, get out of bed ing wrong with summoning com- from Seasonal Affective Disorder and stay active,” says Norman fort food from the ether”. Plus, - also known as seasonal depres- Rosenthal, MD, clinical professor when there is food left over from sion. Seasonal Affective Disorder, of psychiatry at Georgetown Uni- your order, freeze it and reheat it or SAD is a mood disorder subset versity. Having one day in— whenever you’ve fallen back into in which people who have normal where you call in sick from work a slump and don’t have the energy mental health throughout most of or school— is okay. This be- to make food. the year exhibit depressive symp- comes severely unhealthy when To conclude, I know Sea- toms at the same time each year, hibernation becomes a habit. sonal Affective Disorder can be most commonly in winter. Symp- For many people, some quite hard for some people, and I toms include sleeping too much, days prove to be harder to deal hope these tips will have made it a having little to no energy, and with than others, and they simply little bit easier to battle. overeating or eating little portions cannot get out of bed in some cas- to no food at all. Studies show es, or feel too lazy to shower or Crisis Supports that SAD has become more visi- have a meal. However, there are ble in students—mainly high many techniques to ensure that 247 YSB-Crisis Line: 613-260- school and first year college stu- hibernation doesn’t become a 2360 www.ysb.ca dents. habit in one’s life during a depres- Being students, most sive episode. One of those being, 24/7 Online crisis chat: aren’t fully aware of what’s hap- if you do end up calling in sick to www.ysb.ca/services/ysb-mental- pening or why they are in a con- work or school, make sure you’re health/24-7-crisis-line/ 24/7 stant state of anxiety, paranoia not just lying in bed all day. In- and an overwhelming feeling of stead, try and incorporate some Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668- sadness. As someone who under- exercise into your day, even if it’s 6868 Kidhelpphone.ca/live-chat stands you and has gone through just a 10 minute stretch. www.kidshelpphone.ca/live-chat this disorder, and still goes For other factors such as through it, I figured it would be laziness or little appetite, there are LGBTQ Youthline: 1-800-268- quite fitting to give you some tips likewise solutions. For example, 9688 Mobile Crisis: 613-722- to make this disorder a little less if you can’t bring yourself to take 6914 harsh for you to deal with. a shower, spray your hair with dry

11 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

The Death Of A Meme

LEO KRISTAL-POLCI preceding few times, but it A s I was scrolling through my most of Gen X quickly gets old. Instagram feed over the weekend, and Baby Then, in an ef- I noticed a poll. It was a short Boomers). fort to make it question, simply asking “What This often re- funny again, was the meme of the decade?” I sults in parts they phrase it started thinking about it and real- of the mori- differently or ized I couldn’t remember many bund meme Pepe The Frog the joke has a particularly old memes, so I template being introduced into different outcome. This still does pulled up some Google pages and pop culture. That adoption is usu- not work, and your friend decides started searching through memes ally a sign that a meme has got to to stop. This is the single greatest from 2010-2014. I recognized go, as it ruins the meme’s exclu- contributing factor to the death of many of them (doge, sad Keanu sivity, something that is coveted a given meme. Reeves, Leonardo DiCaprio’s by the meme community. A fairly unique situation missing Oscar, etc.), but there This is not to say that that does not conform to any of were plenty I had completely for- “normies” will always kill a the previously mentioned catego- gotten about or never seen in the meme. There are often parts of ries presented itself in the form of first place (I took an arrow to the meme culture whose humour one of the most popular and icon- knee, do a barrel roll). This reali- tends to go way over the heads of ic memes of the decade: Pepe the zation made me think: how does a these trend followers, such as frog. What differentiated this meme die? sh*tpost formatting. from the death of other memes is The study of a meme con- A far more certain way to the reason it was killed. For one cept or template’s decline is not a end a meme’s life is when it is of the (if not the) first times in perfect science. There are often used as a topic of interest by meme history, a meme became a many factors that contribute to a mainstream media. Once a meme hate symbol. For the first time, template’s death, but one of the reaches a publication such as the trolls and hate groups spoiled most common from meme to New York Times or the Atlantic what had previously been a light- meme is so-called “normies” find- you can be assured it’s done for. hearted element of online society. ing out about it. Though the word A great example of this is the Pepe started to become associated can be used in many ways, the phrase “Ok Boomer”. It was used with white supremacy (something concept of a “normie” (in this in Australian parliament by a it was not initially intended for) context) is generally someone un- young politician, and the media and some of the largest American involved in the memescape, immediately jumped on it. This media outlets grossly overestimat- someone who conforms almost killed the meme a bit earlier than ed his significance, unintentional- religiously to the laws and trends it would have died otherwise. ly aiding these trolls and racists. of popular culture— overall just The last common way a Pepe’s creator was disgusted and someone extremely “basic”. meme dies is simply how any declared the meme dead. Though These popularity worshipping trend dies: overuse. This situation it is still used to this day (albeit cliques are usually among the last is analogous to your friend telling sparsely), the negative implica- people to find out about a new you the same joke over and over tions have largely been forgotten. element of meme culture (only again. It might be funny the first The final point I would

12 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

like to cover is the afterlife of a meme. There are largely two rectional statement, all there routes a dead meme can take; is to it is following the steps that of an icon or that of oblivi- of point, proof, analysis. As Presented by Anna Kirkland on (being forgotten). I think I’ve written out an outline the latter is fairly self explana- Question: How do I write a good and already have most of tory, so I will cover the former. English essay? my ideas this isn’t too bad. I Some memes are easily recog- revise along the way. nized as icons such as the baby Answer: 4. Start to lose hope: fist pump meme, Drake Well my friend, today is your lucky I try not to stress too much, be- memes, the various Keanu day. You may not know this, but I’m cause it’s natural that the second Reeves memes, doge, and Pepe somewhat of a legend in the halls of paragraph is the weakest, so I the frog. Upon closer examina- Lisgar, so let me give you my creative blunder on remembering the tion however; it can be seen process and if you follow it exactly, point, proof, analysis structure, that some of these are just fa- you might, just might, be able to rise to and trying to ignore the nagging mous memes, not memes that my status as every living English should be considered iconic, doubts at the back of my mind. teacher’s idol. the reason being the negative 5. Fail to relax: sentiment that is brought with 1. Prepare: I make sure to pay at- By this time I’ll probably be them. A perfect example of tention in class because you can’t freaking out. I’ll realise I’ve this is the Drake and baby fist write a good essay about something picked the literal hardest prompt pump memes. These are both you know nothing about. So I take to write about, my hand will quite famous, but are quite hat- notes, and pay attention so that start cramping from writing so ed in the meme community. when the time comes I can pick a much, my vision will start to They are looked on as ex- prompt, and jot down some notes blur from tears, and I’ll curse tremely overused, especially quickly before getting going. Mr. Hodgson, the whole Eng- by Gen X and Boomers trying 2. Make an interesting introduc- lish department, Shakespeare, to appeal to younger genera- tion: If there’s one thing the person whomever I can, for making me tions. reading and marking your essay write this accursed piece of gar- On the flip side, some hates, it’s the fact that yours looks bage. The only thing that keeps of the previously-mentioned exactly like the person’s before it. me going is the knowledge that memes are wholesome and tru- That’s why I try to make the first ly deserve to be iconic. Keanu there’s only 20 minutes left of sentence so interesting, that the Reeves is a great example. The class and I still have to write my memescape presents him as a reader will feel compelled to read conclusion kind, decent and relatable hu- my essay. Once I have their atten- 6. Say @#$& it! And keep man being, an interpretation tion, I introduce the work, my the- going: shared by almost the entire sis, and the directional statements. At this point my penmanship meme community. That is the 3. Go into the first paragraph feel- has somehow devolved into essence of what memes are ing confident: Getting the essay childlike scrawl, and I’ve come intended to be: relatable, fun- started is always the hardest part, to accept nihilism as truth. I ny, uniting, and free from the so, having completed that, I feel scrawl down a repeat of my the- problems of the rest of confident going into the first body sis and make a vague statement society. paragraph. After I reiterate my di- that can barely pass as social

13 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

(Continued from page 13) know that sounds cheesy and anti when you never seem to be good -consumerist, but it’s the truth: enough for the people you love. commentary before finishing my people will not love you any less There is no easy solution to this, Works Cited and slinging the for giving them an underwhelm- but here are a few things you can “essay” on the hand-in pile . ing gift. do: When thinking of gifts for And voila! An accurate step-by- people, it is important to keep in 1. Lower your expectations. I step depiction of my creative pro- mind what they like, but more know this sounds like a terrible cess of writing an essay. Follow importantly, your assets. I refrain thing to say, but it’s true. If you these steps exactly and you’ll from spending a lot of money on expect support and positivity have a product of outstanding a gift, not only because I am mi- from your mother you will proba- mediocrity that will leave your serly, but because small or home- bly only end up being disappoint- teacher’s wanting more! made gifts are usually the ones ed. Seeing it how it is will re- that seem the most personal. If move the possibility of heartache. Question: I’ve waited until last you know they like a certain minute to get Christmas presents. brand or store, get them a gift 2. Don’t let them make you feel What should I do? card because they can buy some- bad for who you are. Unaccepting thing for themselves. And if that parents will often try and guilt Answer: seems impersonal, add a nice trip you into being someone else, Well, your level of homemade card, bake them some- or make you feel bad “letting screwedness depends on when thing, or find some craft on pin- them down”. Don’t let yourself you are reading this. If you’re terest. Though it may sound be fooled, they are trying to ma- looking for the answer in this cheap, taking the time to make a nipulate you and you don’t de- newspaper on December 24th, gift shows the reciever that serve it. I’m afraid it’s too late for you my they’re worth the time and effort, friend; however, if you are read- and loosens the crushing grip of 3. Consider distancing yourself if ing this sometime sooner, do not capitalism on our holiday sea- it becomes too much. Many peo- fear! There is still lots of time to son :). ple have the belief that “blood is make this holiday season a mem- Hope that helps. Happy thicker than water” but that’s not orable one. holidays! true. Family is not biological, but Christmas can undoubted- rather who you choose, and if you ly be a stressful ordeal. There is a Question: What should I do about are being mistreated, and feel un- lot of pressure to give the perfect an unaccepting mother? accepted, you should not feel ob- gift, and it feels terrible when our ligated to stay. loved one opens it and feels dis- Answer: appointed. What is always good This is indeed a weighty question, to remember though, is that the because parents can be unaccept- love you feel for another person ing of many things: your sexuali- is not dictated by the material ob- ty, your career choice, your part- jects you give them, and no, I ner, your friends. It’s terrible

14 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

HOROSCOPES KYRA ODELL & ISABELLE HAWKINS

Aries (March 20-April 20) Be wary of individuals wearing button-down shirts. Speak to them only in pop culture references and do not share any pasta with them, no matter how much they try to convince you to do so. Eat strawberry jam, and strawberry jam only, for a week to ensure good luck on every tuesday of 2020. Failure to do so will result in all your shoelaces going missing. Lucky Dates: Dec. 14, 20, 28 Taurus (April 21-May 20) Invest in a quality lampshade, but whatever you do, DO NOT use it on a lamp. Sharpen every pen- cil in your house and place them in your fridge to get a perfect score on your next test. Give your second best friend an egg salad sandwich as a Christmas gift to show your friendship and affection. Lucky Dates: Dec. 12, 13, 24 Gemini (May 21-Jun 20) The colour of socks you wear tomorrow will change your life in a surprising way. If you want this change to be positive, yellow socks should be out of the question. Your Leo friend may be strug- gling with schoolwork, so try to help them with their studies as much as you possibly can. Lucky Dates: Dec.14, 22, 31 Cancer (June 21– July 22) Within the next month, you will have to convince somebody that scooters are the only acceptable form of transport. It is imperative that you win this debate, so be prepared every day with written arguments and comprehensive diagrams. Lucky Dates: Dec. 16, 19, 25

Leo (July 23-August 22) Your Gemini friend seems to be under the impression that you need their help at all times. To avoid their annoying ‘help’, carry a container of tomato paste in your left pocket until they relent. Spend your second period classes making paper cranes until you have a miniature army. You never know when you’ll need their help. Lucky Dates: Dec. 21, 29, 30 Virgo (August 23-September 22) Your friends are getting tired of you complaining about the class giving you the most trouble; try to change the subject to something more interesting, such as the small colony of ants residing in your closet. If you think no such colony exists, you should probably check your closet more thor- oughly. Lucky Dates: Dec. 17, 18, 26 Libra (September 23-October 22) This December, the stars urge you to seek out consistency whenever possible EXCEPT when it comes to pants. The more bizarre and unusual the pants, the better. An unexpected interaction with a hamster will give you just the happiness boost you need this month. Lucky Dates: Dec 19, 20, 25

Scorpio (October 23-November 22) Someone you meet this month will become one of your greatest enemies. Play it safe by never leaving the house. An unnecessarily plump throw pillow will mysteriously find itself on your bed. Do not question it or complain. Lucky Dates: Dec 13, 24, 28

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22) An argument about crunchy versus smooth peanut butter may be the final straw in ending a friend- ship, avoid bringing it up. Dramatically and irreversibly changing your hair may be the key in amending a feeling of sadness. Lucky Dates: Dec 19, 23, 25

Cont. p.12

15 DECEMBER / / 2019 / / WINTER ISSUE

Capricorn (December 23-January 20) Boldly claiming you will “never do something again” only increases the chances that that very thing will be repeated. Minimalist art will anger a close friend beyond belief, whatever you do, don’t get on their bad side. Lucky Dates: Dec 23, 27, 31

Aquarius (January 21-February 18) Bad vibes are approaching you this winter. Ward them off by covering everything you own in rhinestones. Laundry-induced frustration is rampant this season; try to keep your cool by buying new clothes instead of washing the ones you already have. Lucky Dates: Dec 17, 21, 29

Pisces (February 19-March 19) A classic Chinese tea set will spark an epiphany. The cosmos indicate that your wallpaper, whether on a phone, computer, or maybe even in your house must be changed to include the image of your favourite animal. Lucky Dates: Dec 16, 25, 26

Out-of-Contexts “What a great idea. Holding your grandmother hostage to make you food.” -Mr. Findlater

“Sitting in this class is a form of brainwashing.” -Mr. Middleton “So that’s differentiating current sex from old sex.” -Ms. Wick “You look like you’re texting and driving without a car.” -Mr.Wright “Don’t eat that — It’s currency!” - Mr. Meng

Message from the Editors Huge Thank You To Our Contributors Anna Kirkland We hope you enjoy this edition of the Aser Abdelgawad Lisgarwrite. Make the most of your winter Fred Azeredo break! As always, keep an eye out for future Tara Orange Gabriel Arrigo calls for submissions, contests, and writing Kyra Odell opportunities. We’d love to hear from all of Isabelle Hawkins you, so get in contact with us if you have any Aidan Wilson ideas or questions. - Ron Ghersin and Fred Omeed Sahabi Leo Kristal-Polci Azeredo Laila Elbas Lia Ferguson Luca Fulga Lucas Orange Lucas Bengle-Stanley

Special Shoutout to our teacher supervisor, Mr. Hodgson

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