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Disappointments Series – When Life Turns out Differently When Boundaries are Broken June 9, 2019

This is the third in the series, “When Life turns out differently.” And it will be different from the standpoint that the message will not be an expository examination of a single text or passage of scripture. Instead it will a topic message examine several texts.

Boundaries are important! Broken Boundaries are often not only sources of disappoint they are sources of extremely painful experiences.

He was born in Magdeburg, Germany, in 1905, into a family that for 150 years had traveled throughout Europe, performing in city squares and beer halls as acrobats, jugglers, clowns, aerialists and animal trainers.

He was performing in the family show at age six, and in 1922, he began to develop his own act, inventing an amazing 4-person, 3-level pyramid, balancing on a chair on top of a bar between the shoulders of two men on bicycles on a wire 50 feet in the air . . .topping it off by having his wife climb up on his shoulders!

The act was such a sensation that when them do it in , he immediately signed them up for the "Greatest Show On Earth." Karl Wallenda was his name, and his family was “.”

Karl continued performing into his 60s & 70s, doing "Sky Walks," walking between buildings and across stadiums. He walked across Niagara Falls on a high wire. He walked across the open top of the Astrodome. At the age of 65, he balanced himself along a 1200-foot long wire across the Tallulah Falls Gorge in Georgia and performed two separate headstands at a height of over 700 feet in the air.

And then, in March 1978, during an exhibition in San Juan, , the patriarch of the Great Wallendas fell to his death at age 73. Not because of his age, not because of the wind, but because several misconnected guy ropes along the wire caused him to lose his balance and fall to his death.

Losing your balance (living outside the boundaries) can bring death, and not just if you’re a high-wire artist

Pray with me before we dig into the text and discover… I. What are boundaries and what does God say about them? (Exodus 20:3-17, Gal. 6:16-20) a. The description of boundaries

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A boundary is a “dividing line.” In geography, a boundary is that which marks the end of one property or jurisdiction and the beginning of another. In interpersonal relationships, a boundary is what divides one person from another, so that each can have separate identities, responsibilities, and privileges. A boundary creates necessary “space” between individuals. Healthy boundaries define expectations and show respect for others.

• In Exodus 20:3-17 God clearly states the boundaries between righteous and “unrighteous” – wicked behavior. We call these boundaries the ten commandments. (read just underlined out loud – commenting where necessary)

3 "You shall have no other gods before a me. 4 "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand [ generations] of those who love me and keep my commandments. 7 "You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name. 8 "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. 12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. 13 "You shall not murder. 14 "You shall not commit adultery. 15 "You shall not steal. 16 "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. 17 "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." NIV b. The why of boundaries importance (Titus 2:12) 3

• Biblically speaking, boundaries are related to self-control. The Bible commands us to control ourselves, whereas our sinful nature desires to control others.

Titus 2:12 says God’s grace… “teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age” NIV

• If left unchecked, our sinful, selfish desires run roughshod over others.

Gal 5:13-24 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature a; rather, serve one another in love. 14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." b 15 If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. 16 So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. NIV • So Personal boundaries help to limit our selfish inclination to control or manipulate others. (By serving one another in love – denying sinful/selfishness.)

• Likewise, boundaries protect us from those who have no self-control and who wish to control us.

• A person with clear, healthy boundaries communicates to others what is and is not permissible, saying, in effect, “This is my jurisdiction, and you have no right to interfere.” (In effect “I will not participate nor allow you to drag me in the acts of the sinful nature. i.e. v.19-21)

II. What do you do when are Boundaries are Broken? (2 Cor. 12:9, Hebrews 4:16, Ecc. 3:11, Isa. 43:19) 4

We know instinctively that when a fence/boundary is broken you need to repair and re-establish the boundary. What is true for physical boundaries is also valid for spiritual boundaries.

• With children • With friends • With someone we at seeing romantically • With our husband or wife a. Find Grace and Strength in the Pain (2 Cor. 12:9)

Remember God’s words to Paul… 2 Cor 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." NIV

• God has promise grace and strength in times of weakness • We can also grace and strength by limiting our exposure to the breaking of boundaries…

In regard to marriage I believe the Bible is clear that when boundaries are broken the goal should be reconciliation when possible. (Sometimes that is not possible)

If you are in an abusive situation right now, whether the abuser is a spouse, parent, child, caretaker, teacher, relative, or anyone else, please know that God does not want you to remain in that situation. It is not God’s will for you to accept physical, sexual, or psychological abuse. Leave the situation, find someone to help you stay safe, and involve law enforcement immediately. Through it all, pray for God’s guidance and protection.

So, trust the promise of God made to his people in Isa. 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Finally, when boundaries are broken…. b. Find Hope and Purpose in the Brokenness “God intents that our brokenness become a bridge and not a barrier.”

That is the story of Jesus!

• He shows us that the brokenness of offense becomes a bridge to learn Forgiveness – remember his words on the Cross – father forgive… 5

Forgiveness is seeing things differently – “they know not what they do” But not allow anyone to tell you that trust and forgiveness are the same!)

• God intents that our brokenness become a bridge and not a barrier by redeeming (using) the brokenness to do something new in us and through us.

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Is. 43:19

Play sermoncentral video Broken

Conclusion:

That video is met to make us thing that God will put all the broken events of our lives back together ‘perfectly.’ Sometimes that isnt possible for a myriad of reason – what we should understand is that God WILL and WANTS to put us back together better as a result of bring our brokenness to him!

Altar call broken in our sin Altar you need God help you and bring hope and purpose out of your brokenness