Romeo and Juliet ACT 2, SCENE 4 [A Street, Noon
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Romeo and Juliet ACT 2, SCENE 4 [A street, noon. BENVOLIO & MERCUTIO] MERCUTIO 2.4.1 Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not home tonight? last night BENVOLIO 2.4.3 Not to his father's. I spoke with his man. manservant MERCUTIO 2.4.4 Ah1, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline, why2 Torments him so, that he will sure run mad. BENVOLIO 2.4.7 Tybalt, the kinsman of1 old Capulet, nephew, to2 Hath sent a letter to his father's house. Romeo's MERCUTIO 2.4.9 A challenge, on my life. I bet my life it's a challenge to fight BENVOLIO 2.4.10 Romeo will answer it. accept it MERCUTIO 2.4.11 Any man that can write may answer a letter. BENVOLIO 2.4.12 Nay, he will answer the letter's master, Tybalt how he dares, being dared. accepting the dare MERCUTIO 2.4.14 Alas poor Romeo, he is already dead, stabbed with a white wench's black eye, shot1 through the ear with woman's, run2: stabbed a love-song, the very pin of his heart cleft with bull's-eye, cut the blind bow-boy's butt-shaft. And is he a man Cupid's arrow (bawdy pun) to encounter Tybalt? fight BENVOLIO 2.4.19 Why, what is Tybalt? what's so scary about Tybalt MERCUTIO 2.4.20 More than Prince of Cats [I can tell you]1. (a cat named Tybalt in a popular story) O, he's the courageous captain of compliments. fencing etiquette He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, harmony in a duet distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rests, short one, two, and the third in your bosom; the very thrust in your chest butcher of a silk button; a duelist, a duelist, silk shirt, swordsman a gentleman of the very first house best fencing school of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal well trained in fencing codes passado! The punto reverso! The hay!— forward thrust, backhand, hit BENVOLIO 2.4.28 The what? MERCUTIO 2.4.29 The pox of such antic, lisping, may the plague kill, silly, Spanish-accented affecting fantasticoes1, these new affected showoffs tuners of accents: "By Jesu, a very good blade! A users of catch-phrases very tall man! A very good whore!" Why, is not this brave a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus sorry, old sir afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, foreign parasites these pardon-me's, who stand so much on the new form, trends/bench that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? O, their bones, their bones! [ROMEO enters] BENVOLIO 2.4.38 Here comes Romeo, [here comes Romeo]2. [not in 1] MERCUTIO 2.4.39 Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, fish eggs (sexually spent) flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura to verses, wrote, compared to his lady was a kitchen-wench (marry, she although had a better love to be-rhyme her), Dido lover, write her in poetry a dowdy, Cleopatra a gipsy, Helen and Hero was shabby hildings and harlots, Thisbe a grey eye or so, but loose women not to the purpose.—Signor Romeo, bonjour! nothing worth mentioning There's a French salutation to your French slop. pants You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night. a fake ROMEO 2.4.48 Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you? day MERCUTIO 2.4.50 The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive? counterfeit money, follow me ROMEO 2.4.51 Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and important in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy. bend the rules of MERCUTIO 2.4.54 That's as much as to say such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams. forces, bend from bowed-legs ROMEO 2.4.56 Meaning, to curtsy. MERCUTIO 2.4.57 Thou hast most kindly hit it. now you got it ROMEO 2.4.58 A most courteous exposition. explanation MERCUTIO 2.4.59 Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy. perfect example ROMEO 2.4.60 "Pink" for flower? pink like a flower MERCUTIO 2.4.61 Right. ROMEO 2.4.62 [Why,]2 then is my pump well flowered! [not in 1], shoe, (cut with "pinking" shears) MERCUTIO 2.4.63 Sure wit! Follow me this jest now till thou hast worn good, joke out thy pump, that when the single sole of it is worn, shoe the jest may remain, after the wearing, solely singular! outlast it ROMEO 2.4.67 O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness! thin-soled joke MERCUTIO 2.4.69 Come between us, good Benvolio. My wits faint. stop us, my wit is tired ROMEO 2.4.71 Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I'll cry a match! bring it on, declare victory MERCUTIO 2.4.73 Nay, if our2 wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, thy1 for thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose? goose joke ROMEO 2.4.77 Thou wast never with me for anything when thou wast not there for the goose! as a fool MERCUTIO 2.4.79 I will bite thee by the ear for that jest! on ROMEO 2.4.80 Nay, good goose, bite not! MERCUTIO 2.4.81 Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting; it is a most sharp sauce. apple ROMEO 2.4.83 And is it not [then]2 well served into a sweet goose? isn't a sharp sauce served with MERCUTIO 2.4.85 O, here's a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an baby goat leather inch narrow to an ell broad! forty five inches ROMEO 2.4.87 I stretch it out for that word "broad", which added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose! a big fat goose MERCUTIO 2.4.90 Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art well thou sociable, now art thou Romeo, now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature. For this drivelling love stupid-talking is like a great natural that runs lolling up idiot, with his tongue out and down to hide his bauble in a hole! looking for a hole to hide his toy in BENVOLIO 2.4.96 Stop there, [stop there]2! [not in 1] MERCUTIO 2.4.97 Thou desire'st me to stop in my tale against the hair. against my wish BENVOLIO 2.4.99 Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large2! otherwise you'd, too long1 (bawdy) MERCUTIO 2.4.100 O, thou art deceived. I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, taken it as far as I could (bawdy) and meant indeed to occupy the argument no longer! end it there [NURSE & PETER enter] ROMEO [sees Nurse; to Mercutio] 2.4.103 Here's goodly gear! a huge outfit (also bawdy) MERCUTIO1 [making fun of her clothes] ROMEO2 2.4.104 A sail, a sail! BENVOLIO1 MERCUTIO2 2.4.105 Two, two: a shirt and a smock. man's shirt, woman's smock NURSE 2.4.106 Peter! PETER 2.4.107 Anon! coming NURSE 2.4.108 My fan, Peter. MERCUTIO 2.4.109 Good Peter, to hide her face, for her fan's the fairer face. prettier NURSE 2.4.111 God ye good morrow, gentlemen. morning MERCUTIO 2.4.112 God ye good e'en, fair gentlewoman. afternoon NURSE 2.4.113 Is it good e'en? afternoon MERCUTIO 2.4.114 'Tis no less, I tell ye2, for the bawdy hand of the you1, vulgar dial is now upon the prick of noon. erect at NURSE 2.4.116 Out upon you! What a man are you? what kind of man ROMEO 2.4.117 One, gentlewoman, that God hath made for himself to mar. injure NURSE 2.4.119 By my troth, it is well said. "For himself to mar," truth quoth he? Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I said may find [the]2 young Romeo? [not in 1] ROMEO 2.4.122 I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse. lack NURSE 2.4.126 You say well. well put MERCUTIO 2.4.127 Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i' faith; taken, indeed wisely, wisely. very wise NURSE 2.4.129 If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with ye1. you2 BENVOLIO [making fun of her wrong word for "conference"] 2.4.131 She will "indite" him to some supper! MERCUTIO 2.4.132 A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho! whore/hare, (a hunting call) ROMEO 2.4.133 What hast thou found? MERCUTIO 2.4.134 No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie, rabbit/whore, pie for Lent that is something stale and hoar ere it be spent. [sings] moldy, before, done "An old hare hoar, grey And an old hare hoar, Is very good meat in Lent; But a hare that is hoar Is too much for a score, not worth paying for When it hoars ere it be spent." molds, before, eaten Romeo, will you come to your father's? We'll to dinner thither.