Copyright by Renier Javier Murillo 2016

The Report Committee for Renier Javier Murillo Certifies that this is the approved version of the following report:

Embrace the Darkness: The Writing Process of “Diabolical”

APPROVED BY SUPERVISING COMMITTEE:

Supervisor: Richard Lewis

Cynthia McCreery

Embrace the Darkness: The Writing Process of “Diabolical”

by

Renier Javier Murillo, B.F.A.

Report Presented to the Faculty of the Graduate School of The University of Texas at Austin in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of

Master of Fine Arts

The University of Texas at Austin August 2016 Dedication

To my parents, who have encouraged me to pursue my passions with unending support and love. Their influence is seamlessly woven into every script I write. Also to my brother, who shares my nerdy love of film and television. I hope I make them all proud.

Acknowledgements

Thank you to Richard Lewis and Cindy McCreery for guiding me through this process with patience and honesty. An additional thank you to Stuart Kelban, Beau Thorne, and my cohort. You’ve all had a hand in helping me grow as a writer.

v Abstract

Embrace the Darkness: The Writing Process of “Diabolical”

Renier Javier Murillo, M.F.A. The University of Texas at Austin, 2016

Supervisor: Richard Lewis

This report covers the process of developing, writing, and revising Renier Javier Murillo’s one-hour horror drama pilot “Diabolical” – including background information, inspiration, steps in the writing process, and personal reflections.

vi Table of Contents

Introduction ...... 1

Chapter 1: In the Beginning, There Was Darkness ...... 5

Chapter 2: The Shadows Begin to Take Shape ...... 10

Chapter 3: The Path Through the Woods ...... 15

Chapter 4: Confronting My Own Reflection ...... 19

Chapter 5: The Darkness Returns ...... 23

Chapter 6: Other Worlds, Other Paths ...... 26

Chapter 7: Beyond the Edge of the Unknown ...... 29

Appendix A: Preliminary Series Bible and Outline ...... 31

References ...... 42

vii Introduction

The television flickered with images of a young girl screaming at the top of her lungs as an evil spirit grabbed her through a mirror. I lowered the volume manually, hoping my parents didn’t hear it. 10:24 P.M. It was the early ‘90s, and I was still in elementary school. This was most definitely forbidden.

My young eyes focused on the macabre cinematic events unfolding before me. The darkness of the bedroom covered me like a security blanket. The night time did not scare me, but the images on the convex screen did. Why was I transfixed by this horror?

“¿Renier, que estas viendo?” My mother’s accusatory tone cut through the darkness. I didn’t hear her come in. She took one look at the screen and went off about how “garbage entertainment” would “damage” my tender young mind. To my parents, violent movies (especially horror) were made by sick people with sick fantasies and no real redeeming qualities. On the other hand, non-pornographic sexuality and nudity didn’t bother them as much. They always taught me that human sexuality was natural, but that’s another story. As my mother turned off the TV, my father walked in. His approach was different. He encouraged me to seek out positive and life-affirming stories – in his hand a book on shamanism by noted anthropologist Carlos Castaneda. After a reassuring conversation and a goodnight kiss on the forehead, my father left the room as my mother tucked me in. Now began our nightly ritual: a Catholic prayer. But not just any regular Catholic prayer. It was a family heirloom of a prayer passed down to my mother by her mother, who in turn got it from her mother and so on. 1 It was adapted from a traditional Spanish-language Catholic oration, structured like an epic story – in the tradition of Joseph Campbell’s monomyth. The opening line is roughly translated as “I walk along a path and encounter Jesus Christ…” It was a comforting journey I enjoyed taking every night.

A few hours went by. I slipped in and out of sleep, unable to fully immerse myself in the dreamscape. The clock ticked on. Past four in the morning. No amount of tossing and turning would settle my racing mind. The horror movie got me thinking, and over thinking: How did they do that? How did the filmmakers make it look so real? How did they make it so frightening? It was a forbidden fruit I barely got to taste, and I wanted more. Finally, I decided to get a drink of water. The hallway was nearly pitch black, save for a tiny nightlight plugged into an outlet. The living room was equally dark. As I approached, I noticed a dull trickle of light coming in through a window. It was the streetlamp, illuminating my way. The kitchen was just beyond the dining room threshold. Something stopped me in my tracks. I saw a person sitting on the couch, staring at me in the dark. At first, I assumed it was my father. Sometimes, he would fall asleep in the living room while watching television. But, the TV wasn’t on. It was then that I noticed my father on the sofa, asleep – the Castaneda book on his lap. If he’s there, then… who was that on the couch? I approached the stranger. The closer I got, the more details I could make out. He was young, probably slightly younger than me, wearing a red shirt. He had dark brown hair and eyes. He looked somewhat like me, but his facial expression was odd – as if something was lacking. Vacant. 2 The boy stood up from the couch, maintaining his gaze. Goosebumps coursed up and down my arms. He stood still for several seconds, and then started walking in my direction. On instinct, I threw a punch as he got closer… Then, he vanished. Not in a puff of smoke like in the movies. This boy just dissolved. Needless to say, I forgot about the drink of water and scurried back to my room. Reciting my mother’s prayer was the only way I could remain calm. I kept reciting it until I managed to fall asleep. I didn’t tell my parents about that experience. I assumed they wouldn’t believe me. Well, many years later I would discover how wrong I was.

One day while I was home from college, my mother was telling me stories about my childhood. They were mostly embarrassing and/or cute. One story, though, was very different from the others: One night (around the time I had my experience) my mother woke up in the middle of the night and heard noises coming from the hallway. When she opened her bedroom door, she saw a boy walk into my room. Assuming it was me coming back from the bathroom, she went in to check on me. She found the strange boy standing in the middle of the room while I was asleep in my bed. My mother wasn’t sure if she was still half-asleep and imagining things, but she proceeded to ask the boy what he was doing in there. His answer chilled her to the core, “I’m visiting because you won’t let me in.” That was the affirmation I needed. What I saw was real. My father would later admit that he had a similar experience. He said that when my brother and I were toddlers he witnessed us playing with a third boy in our room late one night. It was a boy he had never seen before. Admittedly, he wasn’t sure if he was fully awake or having some sort 3 of sleepwalking episode, but its similarity to my and my mother’s experiences is unmistakable. My younger brother would also later admit to a similar experience.

With all of this in mind, it’s no surprise that my thesis script Diabolical is an hour-long horror pilot immersed in the supernatural, spirituality, Catholicism, and the horrors and mysteries of the ever-present darkness. I know my and my family’s stories may seem far-fetched and unbelievable, but it has shaped who I am as a person and writer. In college, my friends would joke that I had a tendency to “fade” into the darkness due to my love of horror movies and interest in the supernatural. Ironically, I now sleep with a night light because I’ve developed a healthy fear of the dark. My fear is not an aversion but rather an acceptance. That small source of light makes the darkness so much more real.

Today, I realize “fade” is not quite the right word. Instead, I’ve learned to embrace the darkness.

4 Chapter 1: In the Beginning, There Was Darkness…

Fear took hold of me the day I stepped into my first screenwriting class at The University of Texas at Austin. I was one of seven chosen to be part of that year’s cohort, and all I could think was “I am not good enough to be here.” Prior to attending UT, my writing background consisted primarily of playwriting. I had a few short plays produced throughout Miami. My only produced screenwriting

credit was a horror short I wrote and directed myself. Other than that, I had no substantial screenwriting experience. Most of what I did know came from books and John August’s website (which I highly recommend). The writing sample that got me into UT was a half-hour comedy pilot called The Dragon Fruit that can only be described as The Office meets RuPaul’s Drag Race. It was only the second television script I’d ever written. The first was a really bad Family Guy spec. So to me, it was a miracle I got in. Yet, there I was in a class with six other writers, all of whom got in with feature- length screenplays. That was intimidating. Stuart Kelban was the professor, and it was clear that I had to put on my big-boy pants and dive right in. One of our first assignments was to develop two loglines for features; one of which we were going to write in the class. I had never written a feature before, so this was all new to me. Since I’d gotten into the program with a comedy about drag queens, I wanted to try something different for my first film script. Horror was certainly my first choice. I created a logline about a theatre artist who becomes possessed by the spirit of notorious killer Ed Gein. For my second logline, I wanted to bring in an idea that (in my

5 mind) would make me look more like a “serious” writer. It was a drama inspired by my mother’s experience as an immigrant. The night before I had to pitch the loglines, I had a revelation of sorts. Just as I was falling asleep, I recalled the time I worked as a scare-actor in a Miami haunted house attraction. It was one of the weirdest, most exciting, and emotionally-charged jobs I’d ever taken in my life. I developed a logline for a dark comedy based on that, and thus I now had three to pitch the next morning. Honestly, I felt that the third logline was very weak compared to the other two, but something told me to bring it in anyway. I walked into that class confident I’d be doing the Ed Gein idea, but somehow I came out with the haunted house attraction logline instead. Plus, the class managed to convince me to change it from a dark comedy to a gay rom-com. That was a twist I didn’t see coming. After that, I resigned myself to being pigeonholed as a comedy writer. That script, titled Manic Manor, ended up being pretty good, especially for it being my first feature ever. Beau Thorne’s rewriting class taught me how to take it to the next level for the second draft. I started to grasp the mechanisms of cinematic story structure, which was exciting. Still, disappointment set in. I wanted to write something dark, and here I was writing another LGBT comedy. But, what I didn’t know then was that I was actually setting the groundwork for the pilot that would ultimately become my thesis script, Diabolical.

In Cindy McCreery’s television writing class (during my second semester), I learned the tools and techniques for developing TV specs and pilots. This was a class I felt a little more comfortable in. Some of it was familiar, but most of it was new and exciting to me. 6 For my spec, I wrote an episode of the (now cancelled) HBO half-hour dramedy Looking. It was the only series on the air at the time I could see myself writing. It centered on a group of gay men in their late 20s/early 30s living in San Francisco and looking for love. I related to one of the characters, Richie – a self-assured working class gay Latino looking for love even at the risk of getting his heart broken all over again. It was the first time I could actually see myself fully represented in a character on TV. That’s never happened before in my life. Also, the fact that it was a half-hour show worked in my favor, since I was pretty familiar with that format. Prior to settling on Looking, I looked into other shows – mostly in the dark thriller and horror genres. At the time, the only real options I had were American Horror Story, Bates Motel, and The Walking Dead, all of which were unsuitable for me. The Walking Dead was over-specced to death, I had never seen Bates Motel, and American Horror Story’s anthology format made it too much of a risky choice. But if I were being really honest, a major deterrent for me was the fact that they were one-hour shows. Like feature scripts, one-hour dramas scared me. Once again, I didn’t know if I was good enough to tackle such a “monster” task. Fear took hold of me again, and I chose the relatively safe path. For my pilot, I found a compromise. I developed a half-hour horror-comedy (in the vein of Ash vs. Evil Dead) about a werewolf hunter titled Hunk of Meat. It featured all my strengths (comedy, LGBT characters, and the half-hour format) but also included elements of dark fantasy and horror. This was my “testing the genre waters” script. Admittedly, it wasn’t a complete success, but it was getting me one step closer to what I really wanted to write – horror.

7 I fulfilled my internship requirement as a script reader for the Austin Film Festival in the summer between my first and second year of grad school. Reading such a large quantity of scripts made me a much better writer. It also eased my mind when it came to hour-long pilots. After reading so many of them, it didn’t seem like the insurmountable exertion it did before. In my third semester, I was in Richard Lewis’s screenwriting class. With new- found confidence, I walked into that class with two script ideas. One was a Greek mythological epic feature focused on the “villains” of the pantheon. The other one (and the one I ended up choosing) was a one-hour pilot centered on a rogue nun who performed exorcism outside the strict guidelines of the Catholic Church, challenging its rules on gender roles. That was the beginning of what would eventually become my thesis script, Diabolical.

I initially came up with the idea for Diabolical in the summer. There weren’t as many horror shows on TV then as there are now, and there certainly weren’t any about exorcisms and demonic possession. The closest thing was the second season of American Horror Story – Asylum, but it only barely scratched the surface of those topics. Here was a concept I was passionate about that could also potentially fill a void in the television landscape. Unfortunately, exorcism shows are everywhere now, but I’d like to think I was ahead of the curve (or maybe just severely unlucky). All that really mattered was that I had a strong desire to write this script. Now, as I look back, I realize that each script I wrote prior to Diabolical was a step in the right direction, even if I didn’t see it then. Each one taught me a lesson I needed to learn while also allowing me to touch on themes and ideas I was interested in exploring. 8 Starting with the script that got me into UT – The Dragon Fruit featured a gothic drag queen who dressed like Lizzie Borden and shot off macabre one-liners. My first feature script, Manic Manor, was set in a haunted house attraction in which two themed sections were dubbed the “Exorcism” and “Satanic Cult” rooms. The Looking spec allowed me to embrace my style of Latino representation in television. Hunk of Meat was the bridge between comedy and horror. I truly believe things happen for a reason, and my first year at UT was living proof of that. I eventually got what I wanted but not in the way I expected.

9 Chapter 2: The Shadows Begin to Take Shape…

Loglines are hard. Blessed are those who can conjure up killer loglines on the fly. I struggle with them, and I know for a fact that many other writers do as well. My initial logline for Diabolical was painfully unfocused:

A rogue nun breaks Catholic law by performing an exorcism to save a man’s life

but inadvertently uncovers a secret cult’s diabolical plot to infiltrate every facet of society, including the Church.

This was actually my third draft of the logline before I pitched it to the class. While it kind of conveyed the feel of the series, it failed to capture the unique essence of the world and characters. Still, this is what I had to work with at the time, and off I went to write the preliminary series bible. My original vision for the show was a serialized thriller that worked the horror narrative as an arena for the characters’ personal storylines. The Walking Dead does this well. In that series, the zombie elements set the stage for the interpersonal dramas, usually converging at the season climax. In Diabolical, I wanted the secret (Satanic) cult to be the catalyst and driving force behind the protagonist’s (Marjorie) storyline. The main issue I came across was the scope of the world. I put most of my energy into developing my protagonist’s main story but not into the important subplots. The Walking Dead (which became my model for this show) thrived on the multiple intersecting narratives from its fairly large cast. My cast of characters was significantly smaller. As I wrote the series bible and sketched out an outline, I realized that my series

10 relied entirely on Marjorie’s journey. It was restrictive. Richard would ask me “Where does it go from here?” I thought I knew the answer, but I really didn’t. This forced me to switch gears and rethink my approach. I decided to infuse more procedural elements in the vein of The X-Files while still preserving part of my original vision. It wasn’t completely what I wanted, but I decided to give it a chance. In the first completed incarnation of the series bible and outline (Appendix A), I introduced a case- of-the-week possession that would be the inciting incident for the entire series. Marjorie would investigate religiously-based supernatural cases in and around her small Florida town throughout the first season, which would gradually unravel the secret cult’s diabolical plan episode to episode. (Caveat: When I wrote the bible, I did not have a clear vision of what exactly that diabolical plan would be. That was the main reason why I struggled with this pilot. It was an important lesson I learned the hard way.) A turning point for me was the addition of the character Brit, a young girl who becomes the target of the cult. I had a difficult time creating high stakes for my protagonist. Brit became Marjorie’s tangible external objective. She had to save her from the clutches of the cult. It clicked. From there, I created other characters. Some would stick while others were dropped in subsequent rewrites. The most important ones are Father Murray (young Catholic priest searching for Marjorie), Kora (fellow nun and friend to Marjorie) and Mother Superior (older nun who runs the convent). This was turning into a female-heavy and female-driven series, which I liked a lot. I attempted to use that to link it thematically to my logline. As I wrote in the Theme section of the preliminary series bible:

The major theme of this series is the role of women in the Catholic Church. It has

been a hot topic for a while but more so lately. The role of the nun is similar to that of 11 a nurse (a nurse assists the doctor and provides direct care for the patients). Nuns

don’t have the same high status as priests. Sister Marjorie is a nun who breaks the

rules consistently.

Despite working out a few kinks, I still struggled with the outline. I kept catching myself repeating plot points and losing narrative threads. As I alluded to earlier, my weak rendering of the cult’s plan and limited scope of the world were the things holding me back. I managed to push through anyway. Some of the story choices I made were clunky, and I knew they were as I was making them. Even though I was not fully on board with this version, I was happy to have a finished outline to present to the class. If it didn’t work, I knew I could always revise it later. That was another lesson I learned that semester: Being okay with the fact that I wasn’t always going to get it right the first time. Sometimes, these experiential lessons can be just as important (if not more) than the screenwriting lesson.

The feedback session for my preliminary bible and outline was extremely productive. The four biggest notes that stood out to me were:

1. Marjorie was mostly reactive (instead of proactive). She had no substantial personal stakes or a clear objective.

2. The pilot story was convoluted and tonally confused. Some people in the class read it as campy based on the actions taken by certain characters. It didn’t have that dark Eli Roth-esque essence (Richard’s words) that I was going for.

3. Some in the class questioned my themes, especially the role of women in the Catholic Church. They said it was not coming through in the outline. 12 4. Where does the show go from here? It was hard to imagine what the week-to- week story would be. (This question will haunt me for the rest of my life.)

Before tackling the first draft, I wanted to revise and reconceive the outline. I was never really happy with the procedural angle to begin with. I thought it made the show old-fashioned, and it undercut my original vision. So, that was the first thing eliminated. The next step was to address each of the main notes. With the protagonist Marjorie, I took advice from Richard and stuck her in a perilous situation in the Teaser that would set the stakes high early on. I rewrote the Teaser as a disastrous, failed exorcism that left both physical and emotional scars on Marjorie. It set the course for her journey and gave me interesting places to go with the character. The young girl Brit then became an extension of that. Her desire to protect the girl was her desire for redemption. The more personal I got with Marjorie, the more the story began to open up for me. The second issue was resolved by my reworking of the protagonist. The perceived campiness was due to the contrived choices I made in pushing the characters through the story. Because they lacked depth, I had to manipulate them into doing things for the sake of plotting and structure. Now that the protagonist’s backstory carried more weight, I had an easier time allowing the characters to dictate the story. It felt more organic (though I knew it needed more development). As far as the theme, I made the decision to scrap it for the time being. Writing from theme has never worked for me. I strongly believed that the theme would come through naturally if I just focused on telling Marjorie’s story without the baggage of conscious activism. Her actions alone would be enough to show how she challenges the gender expectations of the Catholic Church. 13 With my new direction, I was able to envision the second episode and the trajectory for the first season – semi-apocalyptic and emotionally-driven with Marjorie using her exorcism skills against the cult and their demonic overlords. Unfortunately, I had a difficult time articulating that to the class. Even so, I went ahead with the second draft of the outline. It was far more detailed and felt more in tune with my original vision. Then, it was time to jump into pages.

14 Chapter 3: The Path Through the Woods…

I once heard someone say that writing a script is like traveling through an uncharted forest. On the first trek, you won’t know where you’re going. You’ll take wrong turns and dead-ends. Once you’ve reached the end, you’ll be able to retrace your path. The second trek will be much easier to navigate. I’d take that analogy further and say that the outline is the map that helps you navigate the forest. Writing an outline is like getting an aerial view and having a rough idea of where you’re going. There will be times when you veer off course, but at least you aren’t going in completely blind. Of course, there may be ravenous beasts who try to destroy you, or perhaps even a nymph or two who momentarily tempt you off your journey. There is also the distinct possibility that an evil witch resides in the forest. So many perils. So many challenges. So many distractions. But, always trust in the outline/map as your guide. Okay, I’ll stop with the analogy. You get the point. Personally, I don’t know how anyone can just face a blank page and start writing without a little prewriting. More power to them. Having taken screenwriting classes with all four primary screenwriting professors (Stuart, Cindy, Beau, and Richard), I’ve discovered that having a flimsy outline will only make it harder to get through pages. With my nearly 30-page revised outline for Diabolical, I wrote the Teaser and Act One in a day. Just a few months prior, I was scared of writing one-hour dramas, and here I was taking to it like a duck to water. The Teaser now featured Marjorie assisting an older priest in an exorcism in Cuba that goes tragically wrong. Everyone dies, except for her. In Act One, Marjorie is back in her small Florida town. She tries to rebuild her life in

15 her new church and convent. The case-of-the-week possession was readapted as an important serialized subplot involving Brit and her connection to the cult. It all made sense to me. Then, the feedback session happened:

I’m confused. If she nearly died assisting an exorcism, why is she still a nun in Act One? Wouldn’t she want to escape that life?

Honest to God, I didn’t even think about that. But, it’s true. It made no sense for her stay. Now I had a dilemma. I could ignore that feedback and continue writing the pilot the way I designed it (even though I knew it wouldn’t work), or I could go back and revise the story once again. I chose to go back, and I’m glad I did.

I had an extra week before my next feedback session, so I sat with my outline and brainstormed on yet another new approach. Something was missing. I always felt it, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Richard still had issues with the scope of the world. Since I set my series in a small Florida town, he worried that it would feel claustrophobic (in the wrong way). How small is this town? Is there enough going on for at least ten episodes? Would Marjorie have to venture out into other towns? Richard kept nudging me to relocate it to Miami. I was stubborn about keeping it in a small town. During the session, Richard and I discussed Latino culture and spirituality. I described my experiences growing up (though not explicitly mentioning my supernatural encounter as a kid). Somehow, Santeria came up. I don’t actually remember who brought it up, but it immediately sparked something in me. For those who don’t know, Santeria is 16 an Afro-Caribbean religion which fuses Yoruba practices with elements of Catholicism. It originated in Cuba, where my Teaser is set. Santeria is misunderstood and feared by many, especially Christians. I knew right away this was the missing ingredient. Richard and I disagreed on how Santeria should be introduced in the pilot. He felt that making it dramatic and scary (leading the audience to believe it was associated with the diabolical actions of the cult) was the best way to integrate it into the story. I, on the other hand, wanted to portray it more true-to-life and use it as a positive source of power from the start. Ultimately, I chose to go my route for this draft, and then revisit this note later in the next revision. Now, I finally felt comfortable relocating the story to Miami. I also absorbed the note questioning why Marjorie would stay a nun after the tragedy by having her leave her vows behind after the Teaser. The new iteration of Act One begins in Miami, one year later. Marjorie has moved back to the city she grew up in. She works at a bodega and keeps to herself. The trauma of her experience is visible on her face. I needed a character to represent Santeria, so I repurposed Kora and changed her from a fellow nun to a skillful Santera (Santeria Priestess). Brit’s character was also repurposed. In the older version, she was the daughter of a middle class family involved in the dealings of the cult. In the newer draft, I made her a young Hispanic girl raised by her working class grandmother, who develops a close friendship with Marjorie. Brit is what Marjorie was when she was a child: young, innocent, enthusiastic, and poor but happy. Now, she represented more than just Marjorie’s redemption. She was her salvation. The feminist themes were woven into the fabric of the narrative, but I began to see more spiritual and moral themes emerging. In this new draft, Father Murray represented the authority of the Catholic Church as he tried to pull Marjorie back into her 17 nun’s habit. She had a choice to make – either give in to that authority despite the danger or carve out her own path, which was also fraught with peril. While writing the pilot, I discovered that Marjorie could do both. It was empowering.

I wrote pages every day. This time Marjorie led the way. Armed with a stronger outline and a clearer vision, I didn’t have to contrive any plot points. Marjorie was on a mission, and I had to get out of her way. By the end, I had a finished first draft I was proud of. It immediately became the top contender for my thesis. I still had one semester left before making that decision, but I knew Diabolical would be it. Even when I seemed indecisive, subconsciously the choice had already been made.

18 Chapter 4: Confronting My Own Reflection…

Let’s talk about feedback. It can be painful. It can be brutal. But, it’s been good for me as a writer and human being. Criticism and opinions are a part of life. People will always have something to say about everything you do. There’s really no way to escape that. In an industry like Hollywood (and with so much money on the line), you bet people will have a lot to say. I knew coming into the program that my scripts would be workshopped. What I didn’t prepare for was how emotional it would be for me.

As a theatre major in undergrad, I was accustomed to playwriting workshops. They consisted mainly of questions posed to the playwright, observations, and stage readings. My playwriting professor Michael Yawney (who deserves major credit for helping me get into grad school) was really good at keeping the class on track with their feedback. He discouraged suggestive notes. He would say, “Don’t tell a playwright how you would write their play. It’s their work, their voice, not yours.” In other words: No Prescriptive Notes. In my first feedback session at UT, I discovered that the rules for screenwriting were very different. Honestly, I loved the bluntness of those workshops. Hearing other people’s perspectives and suggestions allowed me to see my scripts from different angles. I didn’t always agree with their suggestions, but they showed me that I had more storytelling options than I realized. Sometimes I got stuck in my head, and I needed an outside source to nudge me forward. Some of my best ideas were inspired by notes that I initially discarded.

19 My first semester went by without any problems. I wrote down every bit of feedback, absorbing everything that was being said. Through the process, I gradually developed my own method of metabolizing and implementing notes. Then in the second semester, something changed – I began to take these notes personally. I would occasionally cry after classes. It was so odd, and I couldn’t understand why it was happening. The quality and delivery of the feedback hadn’t changed. Embarrassingly enough, I also found myself breaking down in front of my professors during office hours. Initially, I attributed it to me being the visible and outspoken minority in the class. My work always dealt with Latino and/or LGBT characters and topics. I was very vocal about my disappointment with the lack of minority representation in film and television. I thought perhaps there were aspects of my scripts that my classmates could not engage in. Let me clarify by saying that my classmates have been nothing but respectful and encouraging of my writing. They always made the effort to understand where I was coming from, and I am thankful to have had this particular group of writers in my life. Ultimately, that was not the issue at all. It came down to one thing: Me. After I had another emotional breakdown in my third semester (while working on Diabolical), I decided to get to the bottom of it. Talking it out with a good friend of mine, I realized that my scripts got more and more personal with each subsequent semester. Every script I wrote was an insidious act of self-discovery. I infused each script with parts of me that I used to hide in shame or fear. The funny thing is that I didn’t even notice I was doing that. Diabolical, in particular, was intensely personal. It was set in my hometown featuring specific cultural elements, some of my religious (Catholic) beliefs, and bits of my family’s story sprinkled throughout. I named two major characters after my parents. Other characters were named after my closest friends. Certain relationships and moments 20 were taken straight out of my own life. Worst of all, some of my biggest fears were depicted in certain scenes. So, it made sense why I took the feedback so personally. One note that really bothered me came from a non-screenwriting student who was taking our class as an elective. She had a difficult time understanding my protagonist. When I asked her to clarify, she said:

I don’t understand how she can speak both Spanish and English. It doesn’t make sense to me.

Here I was, a bilingual Latino man sitting right across from her, and she questioned how my Latina protagonist could be bilingual. When I explained it to her, she responded:

Well then describe her as a white girl and show how she learned Spanish in high school or something. It’ll make it less confusing.

I know it shouldn’t have bothered me. I know I should’ve just let it go. It was an ignorant comment that I could’ve easily dismissed. But being a Latino from Miami where the majority of the population is Latino, it was something I was not accustomed to. Other comments that struck a nerve dealt with issues of race, ethnicity, customs, and religious practices. They were not blatantly ignorant like the one referenced above, but they still stung. At the end of the day, I had to let it all go for my own sanity. Richard told me that I needed to brush off those comments and not let them affect me so much. There will always be idiots out there. Cindy had given me similar advice the previous semester 21 when I addressed my concerns to her. They were both right. I had to learn to be much stronger. The industry will be tough, and I will encounter ignorance at some point. If I broke down every time a producer questioned a choice I made in a script, I wouldn’t make it as a professional screenwriter.

I don’t blame anyone for anything that happens to me. I take responsibility for myself. Every morning, I look at myself in the mirror and welcome the new opportunities that will come my way. At night, I return to the mirror and congratulate myself for getting through the day with grace and an open mind. Let me reiterate how much I love feedback. I’m a better writer because of it, but I’m even better human being because it has taught me to be strong and confident in myself. For that, I am grateful.

22 Chapter 5: The Darkness Returns…

As I walked in for my first feedback session with my thesis committee, I mentally prepared myself to do some heavy lifting. I chose both Diabolical and Hunk of Meat as my thesis scripts – an hour-long and a half hour, both in the horror genre, to show my versatility. Truth be told, I’m an ambitious son of a gun. Richard and Cindy were thorough in their assessment of my scripts. Hunk of

Meat’s issues stemmed mainly from inconsistent narrative choices and characterizations while Diabolical suffered mostly from problematic world-building and murky story logic. I left there feeling pumped and ready to dive in. Now, I consider myself a pretty fast writer. At one point, I managed to whip up a decent half-hour dramedy pilot in a matter of two days. Unfortunately, that skill ended up being useless for this thesis. For most of the summer, my creative energy was directed at Diabolical. I took my time revising it, immersing myself in the world and story. There was hardly any energy left for Hunk of Meat. Apparently, I’ve not yet mastered the ability to juggle two sets of stories and characters with equal attention. Sadly, I had to drop Hunk of Meat from my thesis process.

Richard made a fantastic suggestion of adding a political subplot to Diabolical. In the first draft, I alluded to a dark history involving Marjorie’s deceased parents. Richard felt I had a missed opportunity there. Since the cult enacted an Illuminati-like infiltration of major social and political institutions, he suggested I use her parents to demonstrate how that worked – specifically having her father run for Mayor of Miami. I loved that

23 idea. Though instead of the father, I made her mother the Mayoral candidate (furthering my feminist theme). In that subplot, Father Murray (as in the first draft) discovers that Marjorie survived the exorcism tragedy in Cuba and escaped back to Miami. He visits her parents, just after her mother spoke at a rally, to inform them that he had found Marjorie. Subsequently, the parents make an effort to reconnect with their daughter, but she rejects them for reasons unknown to us (the audience). In the last scene, we are left with a cliffhanger that reveals their involvement with the cult. Those were some of my strongest bits of writing ever. Unfortunately, I had to cut it all out – “Kill my darlings,” as they say. I read through the script before sending it to my committee and realized that the political storyline felt so tacked on. In an effort to salvage it, I tried to integrate it more into the main action, but it disrupted the flow of the story. This was a case of a great idea at the wrong time. It just wasn’t working. I had to go back and conjure up a different subplot that would fit better. Mother Superior and Father Murray, two characters who play a huge part in the series, were being severely underutilized in the pilot. I began sketching out a storyline for them. The end result is, in my opinion, a subplot that works much more harmoniously with Marjorie’s storyline. In this new version, Father Murray relocates to Blessed Mother Catholic Church, just outside of Miami, as he continues his search for Marjorie (the Teaser remained the same). Mother Superior runs the convent and orphanage associated with the church. Father Murray receives a mysterious packet, which reveals the whereabouts of Marjorie. The mystery deepens as it becomes clear that Father Murray isn’t the only one after the former nun. The final twist is that the sweet and kind-faced Mother Superior is actually a secret leader of the cult. They have begun infiltrating the Catholic Church. 24 Satisfied, I revised the script once again and sent it in to Richard and Cindy, ready for my final batch of notes.

As I write this report, I see how much this script has changed since its inception. I’ve rewritten subplots multiple times and repurposed characters. Each revision got me closer to what I wanted out of this premise. I’ve experimented with various elements; some worked while others didn’t. Being that it was my first one-hour drama pilot, I’m quite pleased with what it’s become – Something more meaningful and personal. The horror emerges from my own fears. The fear of loneliness. The fear of losing control. The fear of spiritual emptiness. The fear of the dark. The anecdote I wrote in the Introduction is true, and I can see how it has influenced my approach to Diabolical. I’ve just received my final feedback from Richard and Cindy. They commended me on the improvements I’ve made and also pointed out some kinks that still need to be ironed out. Richard still feels that the introduction to Santeria should be “bait-and- switch” scary. While I see his point, I don’t think I’m able to execute another revision right now. I think it’s time to set the script aside and allow the notes to metabolize. This has been an emotionally and mentally challenging process in all the right ways. It’s the reason I came to grad school. In a few months, I’ll return to Diabolical and give it another go. For now, I revel in the fact that it’s much better than it was a few months ago. My screenwriting skills are lightyears better than they were two years ago, before coming to UT. That right there is an accomplishment worth celebrating.

25 Chapter 6: Other Worlds, Other Paths…

Scream on MTV. Stranger Things on Netflix. The Exorcist on Fox. The Strain on FX. Outcast on Cinemax. Horror has invaded the television landscape. Just a year ago (when I conceived Diabolical), it was much less ubiquitous. It’s an immensely profitable genre in the film world, which has recently seen a renaissance with successful franchises such as The Conjuring, Insidious, and The Purge. It seems TV is starting to catch up.

One of my earliest memories of watching a horror movie was Poltergeist III. It’s the worst one of the original trilogy, but that didn’t stop it from scaring the hell out of me. I have a vivid memory of the evil entity’s hand reaching out of a reflective surface and grabbing little Carol Ann. I was terrified of mirrors for a long time after that. Over the years, I’ve acquired a vast knowledge of the genre. I’ve seen everything from the classics (Rosemary’s Baby, Night of the Living Dead) to cult favorites (The Thing, Creepshow), from teen fare (Scream, The Craft) to more obscure ones (Darkness, Last Shift). The most significant observation I’ve made is that the best ones, the ones that stand the test of time, always reflect the socio-political unrest of its time. It’s no coincidence that the subgenre “torture porn” came about right after the 9/11 tragedy. With videos of terrorist beheadings circulating the internet and news reports of torture techniques used in interrogations, films like Saw and Hostel reflected both our social anxiety and political desensitization. The horror has come home, and it’s right next door. I have a theory that M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village is a scathing critique of the Bush administration’s handling of 9/11 and the Iraq war (especially the lies about weapons of mass destruction).

26 Horror can be a force for social change. It is a medium in which artists can explore their own unease with the current political climate. It is a way to express their disgust with the status quo. Of course, there are a lot of horror movies made simply to cash in on a trend or replicate the financial success of originals through unnecessary sequels. I think it’s worth wading through the crap to find those precious gems. The reason horror is such a profitable genre is because it has such a loyal fanbase. No need for big stars or high budgets. The concept alone sells the product. As a member of that fanbase, I have sought out smaller horror films just because the premise interested me so much. In the old days, I had to pray that my local Blockbuster would carry a copy. With today’s technology, it’s gotten a lot easier. Thank goodness for Netflix. One of the most interesting things about horror fandom is that Latinos make up a disproportionately larger part of the audience than any other racial or ethnic group. It has been said that Latino audience attendance can make or break a horror movie’s opening weekend haul. An article I read specifically referred to the demographics of the ticket buyers for the Paranormal Activity films. In fact, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (the fifth film in the franchise) was made in response to these findings. None of this is surprising to me. In my experience, Latino culture is steeped in the sincere belief of the supernatural. The forces of good and evil are very much present in our daily lives. As a child, I was told stories about ghosts, witches, and creatures lurking in the shadows. They were similar to the original dark incarnations of Grimm Fairy Tales, only with a strong religious undertone. One such story is La Llorona – The Wailing Woman. She is the spirit of a woman cursed to roam the Earth searching for her children, who she drowned in a fit of jealous rage. The story was used to keep young Latino kids in line. We were warned that if we didn’t listen to our parents and got home before dark, La Llorona would mistake us for 27 her children and kidnap us. The unspoken assumption being that she would drown us. Is it a wonder why we seek out these types of movies and television shows? Diabolical comes from that tradition. It brings together Latino storytelling and contemporary horror tropes. At the time, I had nothing to model my script after in that sense. I had to piece together inspirations from disparate shows. Now, Fox will be premiering a television series adaptation of The Exorcist with a Latino in the lead role. It’s nice to see that kind of progress. I hope this trend continues with more diverse representation within the genre – and in all of television.

28 Chapter 7: Beyond the Edge of the Unknown…

Where do I go from here? I’ve recently moved to Los Angeles while in the midst of working on my thesis and master report. I’m living in a two-bedroom apartment with one of my best friends, whom I’ve known for at least twelve years. It’s surreal. My dream of moving to L.A. and following my passion is coming true, yet I don’t know what the future holds.

Applying to UT’s MFA Screenwriting program was the best decision I’ve made for my career. It amazes me how much I improved in the last two years. Before coming to grad school, I had no real awareness of structure or character arcs. To me, screenwriting seemed akin to alchemy. It was magic. My aforementioned Family Guy spec was an unfocused, derivative mess. Scenes lacked conflict, characters were running around in circles, and the Act endings were lackluster. Surprisingly, The Dragon Fruit is not as bad as I remembered it being. Still, when I compare it to my latest work, it’s like night and day. I’ve always been a driven person. But now, I’m a driven person with knowledge and focus. The MFA program has taught me how to carve out a niche and brand myself as a writer. Exploring my strengths in my work has helped me explore my strengths in myself. I know what I have to offer. In my last screenwriting class (taught by Stuart), I decided to write something completely outside of my comfort zone. Since Diabolical had satisfied my need to write horror, I decided to tackle a more serious grounded drama. No supernatural elements. No fantasy. The result was Positive – a one-hour drama pilot about a popular conservative

29 news host (on a Fox News-like cable network) who discovers he is HIV positive. It came out of my interest in exploring the topic of HIV from a different angle. I’m also an obsessive news and political junkie. Those two interests came together perfectly in that script. In addition to Positive, I completed a half-hour dramedy pilot about a young transwoman in the modeling industry called Extravaganza. I first developed it in Richard’s class, and then rewrote it in Stuart’s class. I think it’s one of my strongest pieces. Scripts like Positive and Extravaganza would not exist without the safe environment cultivated by UT’s MFA Screenwriting program. I felt secure taking narrative risks, experimenting with genres and stories I wouldn’t normally consider. Of all the gifts I received from my experience in grad school, it is my newly-attained boldness that I cherish the most. If I hadn’t been challenged in the way I was, I’d still be settled in my limited perception of myself – thinking I was only ever going to be a LGBT comedy writer. No doubt, I am that. I embrace that. I also embrace my Latino identity. I embrace my political side. I embrace my weirdness. But most of all, I embrace my darkness. I repeat again: Everything happens for a reason. I believe nothing is coincidental. Our disparate life experiences converge at specific points, leading us down the path we are meant to take. Allow me to shamelessly quote my own thesis script – As Kora tells Marjorie when they first meet:

It’s all connected. In some way or another.

30 Appendix A – Preliminary Series Bible and Outline

DIABOLICAL – Bible & Outline

by Renier Murillo

One-Hour Television Series (Pilot)

Logline: “A rogue nun breaks Catholic law by performing an exorcism to save a man’s life but inadvertently uncovers a secret cult’s diabolical plot to infiltrate every facet of society, including the Church.”

THE WORLD OF THE STORY

This series is set in the contemporary world where spiritual and supernatural forces are at work under the cloak of secrecy. The Devil is real. God is real. Demonic and angelic beings battle it out by using humans as their allies and pawns. On the holy side are the faithful and devoted who live authentic, honest lives in service of others. The infernal side has brought together mortals who seek to expand their powers beyond the limitations of the physical realm and control those they deem “inferior”. They call themselves the Diabolists, as a way to separate themselves from the non-theistic philosophical pageantry of the LaVeyan Satanists. Not all of this will be explicitly apparent in the pilot. Things will be revealed little by little as the mystery unravels throughout the first season.

The primary location is the fictional town of Orange Blossom, Florida in the southern portion of the state. It is a quaint, partially rural town sandwiched between Miami and the Keys, leaning up against the swampy Everglades. Specific locales for the pilot include a church (tentatively called The Church of the Holy Virgin Mother), a nun’s convent, a local library, the middle-class home of the Bennett family, a children’s playground, the messy home of a high school football coach, a plant nursery, and a dilapidated, abandoned church. As the series progresses, more places will be explored, including other parts of Florida.

31 Everything will seem quaint and comfortable, but things quickly get unsettling when dark forces invade the mundane existence of the characters. There is a constant presence of evil in every corner of this world. No one, and nothing, can truly be trusted, especially when the rogue nun uncovers the Diabolists’ plot to insidiously take control of society from the ground up. Along with the supernatural elements, psychological horror will play a big role. How can a single nun defeat a powerful secret cult?

THE CHARACTERS

Primary Characters (aka Series Regulars)

--- SISTER MARJORIE DEL CARMEN (26) – A young nun with a rebellious streak. She has an interest in demonology and the occult from a scholarly perspective (and also comic books). Of course, she entered the convent to help others and be in service of God. But, she finds the Church’s restrictions unnecessary and makes up her own rules. This gets her in trouble with the stern Mother Superior. Still, Sister Marjorie always finds a way around things.

She has a strong relationship with her brother, Jay. When they were younger, they didn’t get along. But, much has changed in the last few years. Their parents’ death in a boating accident cemented their bond. She has no other family to turn to. At this point in her life, she trusts very few people as much as she trusts her brother. (It will be revealed towards the end of the first season that her parents’ death is related to the activities of the Diabolists.)

She has a past that isn’t really touched on much in the pilot. As a teenager, she fell in with a certain type of crowd and committed non-violent offenses, like vandalism and scamming people. One night she witnessed her best friend’s murder. This event changed her life completely, which is what eventually led her to becoming a nun.

--- JAY DEL CARMEN (29) – Sister Marjorie’s older brother. He’s a high school football coach who has an interest in MMA fighting and meditation. He also happens to be gay, but he can’t be open about that in a small town like Orange Blossom. Now with his parents dead, he only has his sister Marjorie. He becomes an ally in the fight against the Diabolists.

32 When he was younger, he was gay-bashed by a guy who is now the mayor of his town (he doesn’t appear in the pilot). That caused him to shut down and withdraw from all social interactions. The death of his parents changed that. He vowed to never let his younger sister suffer through something like that, so he taught her to defend herself. Even now as a nun, Marjorie comes to him to learn new moves and techniques.

--- FATHER ROBERT MURRAY (37) – The pastor of The Church of the Holy Virgin Mother. He is quite progressive for a Catholic priest. He tries everything he can to move the church forward, but he comes against stringent ideology. Part of the reason he joined the priesthood was to bring a sense of change. He wishes there was more he could do.

One of the things he wants to see change is the role of women. This has mainly been sparked by his experience with Sister Marjorie. She is far more ambitious and clever than any man he’s met in the Church. The thing holding him back is that he is easily discouraged by obstacles and challenges. He wants to be as driven and fearless as Sister Marjorie. Secretly, he is a puppet for the Diabolists, and he doesn’t even know it. Eventually, like Jay, he will join Sister Marjorie in her battle against the Diabolists.

--- MOTHER SUPERIOR (65) – The head of the nun’s convent. She’s a tough woman who believes discipline and obedience are what separate nuns from all the other women of the world. She has no patience for “coloring outside the lines”. With Sister Marjorie, she finds herself constantly having to rein in that girl. She took her in initially out of both pity and obligation. Marjorie’s parents were devoted church-goers and generous donors. But that sense of obligation is wearing thin.

There is also a dark side to Mother Superior. Namely, that she is a Diabolist. Everything stated in the previous paragraph is what she will appear to be on the surface. But, the truth is that she has entered the Church to infiltrate it and eventually help tear it down from the inside. There are other uncover Diabolists who are working in the Church with her. This information will not be revealed until mid-way through the first season.

Secondary Characters (aka Guest Roles, etc.)

LORI WASHINGTON (60) – A good-hearted librarian with an understated feminist streak. She happily supplies Sister Marjorie with books to help her along in her journey. She becomes one of the very few people Sister Marjorie can trust, and she eventually becomes an ally in her battle against the Diabolists.

GLORIA BENNETT (25) – Sister Marjorie’s friend from high school. She goes through hell in the pilot with a sick and possessed husband and a young vulnerable daughter. With 33 nowhere else to turn, she turns to Sister Marjorie and Father Murray. After the exorcism, she thinks it’s over. But, it’s not.

IRVING BENNETT (27) – Gloria’s possessed husband. There is a lot more to him than meets the eye. His possession is no random act. Rather, it’s part of the Diabolists’ master plan. But, Sister Marjorie puts a wrench in those plans.

BRIT BENNETT (5) – Gloria and Irving’s young daughter. She is witness to the horrible events of the pilot. Eventually, the Diabolists will kidnap her, along with a whole bunch of young children and use them as vessels for the chief demons to inhabit. Through the children, they will be able to infiltrate society while still staying “under the radar”.

DOCTOR HENNA WARD (48) – Irving’s doctor. Despite Irving’s clearly dire state, she seems unfazed by his declining health. She openly admits to having hostile feelings towards religion and has no problem antagonizing Sister Marjorie. Is she secretly a Diabolist?

SISTER KORA YAZAWA (21) – A young nun. She’s nice but so nosy. Throughout the pilot, she tries to bond with Sister Marjorie. They eventually do, over their shared love of comic books. Can she truly be trusted?

PILOT OUTLINE

TEASER

Late at night. Bennett home. Gloria tucks her five-year-old daughter Brit into bed. Something seems off about Brit. She complains about a “monster”. Gloria dismisses it as a nightmare.

Gloria then checks on her sick husband Irving. He is not looking good.

She goes to the living room and composes herself. She tries to watch some TV.

Brit gets out of bed. She creeps into the kitchen, unseen by Gloria. She grabs a butcher knife and heads towards the master bedroom.

Gloria gets a drink of water and catches Brit entering the master bedroom. She finds Brit standing over Irving, ready to stab him with the knife. Horrified, she takes the knife 34 away and takes Brit back to her bedroom and questions her about her actions, but Brit refuses to respond. What is wrong with this girl?

Gloria hides the knife in a drawer in the kitchen and makes a call. Nearly breaks down. She talks with her sister, who lives far away. Suddenly, she hear a noise (possibly a scream) coming from Brit’s room and rushes over there.

HOOK: When she enters the room, she finds Brit crying and shaking in a corner. Gloria asks her what’s wrong. Brit points to the ceiling. Gloria turns around. There is Irving, latched on to the walls and ceiling in an unnatural position, horrifying demonic face. He SHRIEKS…

ACT ONE

Next Morning. Catholic church. Sister Marjorie makes her way into the church carrying something in church donation tote bags. Suspicious. She runs into Sister Kora Yazawa, who is nice but really nosy. After unsuccessfully trying to deflect, she admits that she’s not bringing in donations. Instead, they are books she borrowed from the library on demonology, the occult, UFO’s, etc. And also a couple of graphic novels (aka comic books). Unfortunately, Mother Superior overhears everything.

In Mother Superior’s office, Sister Marjorie gets scolded for the books, sneaking out, using church donation bags, etc. Mother Superior punishes her by putting her on butterfly garden duty.

INCITING INCIDENT: Sister Marjorie steps out and hears a woman sobbing as she leaves Father Robert Murray’s office. The sobbing woman is Gloria from the teaser. Sister Marjorie recognizes her and calls out to her, but Gloria leaves. She goes to speak with Father Murray and asks him about Gloria’s visit. He will not divulge personal information but admits that he can’t help her. This peaks Sister Marjorie’s curiosity.

At the local library, Sister Marjorie speaks to Lori Washington, the main librarian. She tells her that she was caught with the books she borrowed and will bring them back as soon as possible. Lori laughs and says she got a stern phone call from Mother Superior about the incident. Then she slips her a new book they just got on the legendary and debated Pope Joan. There is an unspoken understanding between the women.

35 While working on the butterfly garden at the convent, Sister Marjorie reads the Pope Joan book “hidden” in a flower bed. Mother Superior shows up and compliments her on her gardening. She sends her on an errand to a plant nursery to pick up an order for the church. But under the condition that she go with Sister Kora to “keep an eye on her.” Mother Superior knows Sister Kora is a blabber mouth and will report everything Sister Marjorie does. Touché.

At the plant nursery, Sister Marjorie realizes that Gloria lives just down the street. She manages to slip away from Sister Kora to visit Gloria.

Gloria tells Sister Marjorie about last night’s incident, including how Father Murray refused her request for an exorcism. Irving is now heavily sedated and being examined by Doctor Henna Ward, who believes Irving’s behavior was a result of a fever. It’s strange for a doctor to do house calls nowadays. Sister Marjorie also gets a chance to talk to Brit. In the conversation, Brit mentions a playground she likes to play at.

PROTAG TAKES ACTION: Doctor Ward leaves. Gloria asks Marjorie for spiritual help. Sister Marjorie agrees to pray the rosary for Irving. She proceeds to do so. Irving has a violent reaction to the prayer and attacks Sister Marjorie. She fights him off with surprising skill and manages to “burn” him with the rosary. She realizes this is a genuine possession.

ACT TWO

Sister Marjorie tells Father Murray about her experience with Irving through a confessional. Because everything in the confessional is supposed to be confidential, he can’t report this to anyone. He promises to look into it but warns her not to get into any more trouble.

After doing some gardening, Sister Marjorie goes into the computer room in the church. She tries to log in but is denied access. Sister Kora happens to walks by. Sister Marjorie asks her why she can’t log in. Sister Kora informs her that Mother Superior took away her computer privileges after looking over her search history. Too many supernatural and occult websites.

She goes to visit her brother Jay, who is a high school football coach. She needs to use his internet since she’s been banned from using the church computer. She researches demonic possessions, rituals, etc. and comes across information on contemporary devil- cults, including supposed locations they gather at. One such location is actually in town, an abandoned church. 36

FIRST COMPLICATION: Back at Gloria’s house, Gloria comes home from grocery shopping and finds Irving face down on the front lawn, blood coming out of his nose and mouth. She takes him inside, calls Doctor Ward. It is then she discovers Brit is missing. The back door was left open.

While washing uniforms in the convent’s laundry room, Sister Marjorie reads over computer printouts about the abandoned church. Mother Superior comes in and informs her that Father Murray would like to see her in his office. Sister Marjorie tries to hide the printouts but accidentally drops one in a laundry basket. When Sister Marjorie leaves, Mother Superior picks up the printout and looks it over. A stone-cold look on her face.

Sister Marjorie goes to Father Murray’s office and assumes she’s in trouble. Turns out, Father Murray called her in to update her on the Gloria/Irving situation. She has spoken to Gloria again. Unfortunately, an exorcism cannot be performed without the approval of the Vatican. They need solid evidence, proof this is more than just mental illness. Just as she’s about to explain her proof, Father Murray gets a call from a frantic Gloria.

Sister Marjorie and Father Murray go to Gloria’s house to calm her as police search for her daughter. Irving is in bed being monitored by Doctor Ward. While consoling Gloria, Sister Marjorie recalls Brit mentioning a playground.

Father Murray and Sister Marjorie both go to playground and search for Brit. Father Murray searches the surrounding area. Sister Marjorie looks around the swing set and slide. She finds a scared Brit hiding inside the slide. Brit eventually reveals that she once caught her daddy and a mystery woman talking in “weird voices” (Father Murray is present for this).

SECOND COMPLICATION: At that moment, a snake slithers its way onto the playground and inches closer to Brit. Just as it’s about to strike the young girl, Sister Marjorie grabs it and tosses it away from them. It “burns” her hand when she grabs it, and then disintegrates when it hits the ground. Father Murray is dumbfounded. “Need any more evidence?”

Turns out they’ve been followed by a stranger in a mask. Thera’s a cryptic symbol tattooed on the stranger’s neck. It glows a sickly green.

37 ACT THREE

Father Murray has just gotten off the phone with the Vatican. They refuse to accept his evidence, even though he was witness to something clearly supernatural. His hands are tied. Sister Marjorie decides to take matters into her own hands.

She visits her brother Jay again to use his computer. She wants to find the abandoned church and investigate it. He won’t let her go alone, so he goes with her.

They find the abandoned church in a desolate wooded area. It’s old and dilapidated. They search around the building and come across nothing, until Sister Marjorie discovers a secret room. A ritual room. A symbol is painted on the wall, possibly in blood. It’s the same cryptic symbol on the masked stranger’s neck.

THIRD COMPLICATION: They are unknowingly stalked by the masked stranger. As Sister Marjorie and Jay leave the church, they find themselves confronted by the masked stranger. A fight ensues. She notices the symbol on the stranger’s neck. More masked people appear from the woods. Lots of them. Sister Marjorie and Jay find themselves surrounded and make a run for it. (I may add more subtle supernatural elements here.)

They speed away in Jay’s car. When they’ve gotten far enough away, they stop off on the side of the road and catch their breath. Jay speculates who the masked people were. Sister Marjorie is too busy drawing the symbol on the back of a receipt to even consider that. Another clue.

In the back pew of the currently empty Catholic church, Sister Marjorie looks over some occult and demonology books, searching for the meaning of the symbol. Lots of things about rituals, but nothing about this particular symbol.

FOURTH COMPLICATION: At that moment, Doctor Ward enters and approaches her. It’s an awkward encounter. Doctor Ward wants to go into confession but Father Murray isn’t available. She reveals she prefers to confess her sins to a woman. After some hesitation, Sister Marjorie agrees to do an informal confessional. Not only does Doctor Ward confess to some horrific acts, but she also subtly threatens the nun. She then walks out, leaving Sister Marjorie chilled. But, she makes a bold decision. (I need to dig deeper to clarify the purpose of this scene.)

38 TWIST: Sister Marjorie sneaks into Father Murray’s office and takes the book titled Rituale Romanum. She turns to the chapter with the header: EXORCISM.

ACT FOUR

It’s late at night. The convent. Sister Marjorie gathers the necessary tools for an exorcism and puts them in a small piece of luggage. Sister Kora catches her packing. Sister Marjorie asks her to keep quiet about her sneaking out, and she’ll do her a favor. Sister Kora wants to read her comic books. It’s a deal. She lends her a copy of a Catwoman classic.

Outside the convent, Jay is in his car waiting for Sister Marjorie. She gets in, and they drive off. Jay seems uneasy about her new plan. She is completely determined, if a little scared.

They get to Gloria’s house. As Sister Marjorie prepares herself, Gloria locks a sleeping Brit in her room for safety. Jay will help restrain Irving. The exorcism begins. It starts out mild but quickly turns horrific. He gets aggressive as Sister Marjorie gets more confident in her abilities.

CRISIS: As things reach a boiling point, Irving breaks from his binds, attacks everyone, and escapes from the house. Evil on the loose in the neighborhood.

Sister Marjorie checks on Jay and Gloria. They are injured but not severely. Brit is still safely locked in her room. Sister Marjorie runs after Irving.

CLIMAX: The chase leads her to the same playground from before. She looks all over but can’t find Irving. Out of nowhere, Irving jumps on her. They fight. Irving exposes his glowing cryptic symbol tattoo on his shoulder as demon snakes appear all around. Despite all the seemingly insurmountable odds, Sister Marjorie still tries to finish the exorcism. Just as it all seems hopeless, a beam of white light emits from her entire body, destroys the demon snakes and extracts the demonic entity from Irving’s body. He collapses.

39 ACT FIVE

RESOLUTION: The paramedics tend to Gloria and Jay’s injury and take an unconscious Irving into an ambulance. The police question Sister Marjorie. She doesn’t mention the possession. Instead, she tells them she was there for a late night prayer for an ill Irving, when a masked intruder broke in, attacked them, and Irving chased the intruder off. Gloria and Jay back up her lie. At that moment, Father Murray arrives.

Father Murray takes Sister Marjorie back to the convent. She admits to what really happened and returns the Rituale Romanum book to him. He lets her keep it, but it has to be their secret. She tries to tell him about the beam of light but decides against it.

Back in her room, Sister Marjorie finds Sister Kora still reading the comic books. They have a bonding moment over them. Sister Marjorie realizes she left gardening tools outside. Mother Superior would get angry if she found out.

CLIFFHANGER: Back at Gloria’s house, Gloria drinks a cup of tea to calm her nerves. Brit appears out of nowhere and cuddles with Gloria, who is happy to have everything back to “normal”. Then she realizes she never unlocked Brit’s bedroom door. How did Brit get out? At that moment, little Brit’s face turns demonic and she rips open her mother’s throat, effectively killing her. Doctor Ward emerges from the shadows. She compliments Brit (calling her by the demon’s name) and assures her the nun is being taken care of. She exposes her cryptic tattoos on her forearm. It glows a sickly green. Demon snakes materialize and consume Gloria’s body.

Back at the convent, Sister Marjorie goes to the garden and picks up the tools. She hears a noise and sees two dark figures enter the convent from the back. She follows along cautiously not sure of who they are. She steps inside and walks through quietly, listening for more noises. She hears shuffling followed by a muffled scream coming from her room. She rushes over, shouting for Sister Kora. When she gets there, she discovers Sister Kora’s horribly mutilated body. The cryptic symbol painted on the wall in her blood.

40 THEME

The major theme of this series is the role of women in the Catholic Church. It has been a hot topic for a while but more so lately. The role of the nun is similar to that of a nurse (a nurse assists the doctor and provides direct care for the patients). Nuns don’t have the same high status as priests. Sister Marjorie is a nun who breaks the rules consistently. In the pilot, she breaks two big Catholic rules. She takes confession and performs an exorcism. I hesitate to label my series as “feminist”, but I’d love for it to be viewed as such. To avoid making this a “Women vs. Men” story, women in this script play prominent roles on the side of both good and evil. Doctor Ward and Mother Superior are major players in the Diabolist cult. Hopefully, this series will show how women and men should have equal status in every facet of society. Both have much to contribute.

Another prominent theme is the perception of “good” and “evil”. Society, in general, sees them in such absolutist terms. This series breaks down those perceptions. Sister Marjorie, the de facto leader of the “good” side, breaks rules and defies authority. Doctor Ward works in the medical field meant to heal and mend the sick and broken. Yet, she is part of the “bad” side. There is a lot of gray area in the “good-bad” spectrum, and this show will explore that.

A more general thematic note involves the fear of “infiltration” in this country. Whether fear of communists in the 1950’s, the Satanic Panic of the 1980’s, or ISIS and other terrorist groups today, the United States has always been consumed by the fear of a secret group or cabal “injecting” itself into society and taking over. Films such as Invasion of the Body Snatchers tap into that anxiety. There is a small but vocal group of conspiracy theorists on the internet who “sound the alarm” about the insidious puppet masters known as the ILLUMINATI and their plot for a New World Order. As kooky as some of their soundbites may sound, there is a fascinating narrative woven into that theory, which I want to explore in this show. Borrowing from both the Satanic Panic and New World Order concepts, this series will show how such a plan would unravel if the secret cult had supernatural assistance. Of course, our hero Sister Marjorie will lead the charge for “good” with help from a more angelic source.

41 References

Looking. [Television series] Michael Lannan (Creator): HBO (2014 – 2016)

American Horror Story. [Television series] Ryan Murphy & Brad Falchuk (Creators): FX (2011 – Present)

The Walking Dead. [Television series] Frank Darabont (Developed by):

AMC (2010 – Present)

The Exorcist. [Television series] Jeremy Slater (Creator): Fox (Premieres Fall 2016)

Poltergeist III. [Film] Gary Sherman (Dir. & Writer), Brian Taggert (Writer): Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (1988)

Saw. [Film] James Wan (Dir.), Leigh Whannell (Writer): Lionsgate Films (2004)

Hostel. [Film] Eli Roth (Dir. & Writer): Lionsgate/Screen Gems (2005)

The Village. [Film] M. Night Shyamalan (Dir. & Writer): Buena Vista Pictures (2004)

Paranormal Activity. [Film] Oren Peli (Dir. & Writer): Paramount Pictures (2007)

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones. [Film] Christopher B. Landon (Dir. & Writer): Paramount Pictures (2014) 42