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Title: *omitted Writer: *omitted Medium: Novel Publishing Company: *omitted Draft Date: 2014 Pages: 232 Genre: Comedy Time: Early 2000s Location: Mumbai Reader: Logan Conover Date: 10/08/2020 Agent: n/a

LOGLINE: A teenage girl with an overbearing mother must find a way to get her off her back before she never gets the chance to meet her teen idol.

SYNOPSIS: The narrator, ILYA, recounts a memory of seeing her , ALI ZAFAR, at a mall from afar. Her best friend DEEPALI tells her that she has erotomania, a situation in which a crazy fan stalks the object of their obsession.

When Ilya hears that Ali Zafar will be performing nearby, her mother VEENA scolds her, saying that she does not want her associating with the “groupies”. She calls Ilya’s obsession “concerning”, worrying that if she lets Ilya go to the concert, it will only get worse. Ilya, realizing that her parents divorce has caused her mom to be somewhat overbearing, realizes she needs to do something to get her off her back.

The next day, Deepali shows Ilya a newspaper clipping from the 80s in which Veena is pictured with of Wham! Wanting to find out more info, they meet up with Ilya’s aunt, MALEEKA.

Maleeka tells them that when she was younger, Veena was a party-girl. She had her own obsession with George Michael and was crazy enough to fly to by herself to meet him. They realize that what Veena needs is another man in her life, so Deepali and Ilya commit to “vamping” her up through a series of makeovers.

The following day, Deepali and Ilya walk through Phoenix Mills mall to brainstorm ideas for “Operation Mom”. They find some make-up that would look good, but Deepali has the idea of searching through Veena’s wardrobe to see what new clothes they could buy. They return to Ilya’s house and look through her closets, realizing that she will need something to reinvigorate her life before they could even start with the wardrobe.

They test out a spin class to see if this would be suitable for Veena. Ilya struggles to keep up, but Deepali has no issue mastering the class. When Ilya gets home, she tries to tell her mom about it, but she hardly listens over her daily yoga routine. Ilya comes up with a list of things that need to be addressed in order to build up her mom’s SA, or Sex Appeal. 2

The next day, Deepali and Ilya realize that they should simultaneously be looking for a man that Veena could be primping for. Deepali suggests they go to a cyber cafe, because she claims every person in those places is searching for love on a dating website.

*Stopped reading at page 57 after deeming the novel a pass.

COMMENTS: [TITLE] is thoughtfully written, but it lacks a compelling narrative that would keep viewers engaged and would not translate well into a visual adaptation.

The first three chapters of [TITLE] tell a story about Ilya’s obsession with a pop star, and then her mother’s equal obsession with one of her own. Naturally, it makes it feel like this novel will be about Ilya’s attempts at finally being able to meet her idol, and her mother’s hypocritical attempts to thwart it. However, by the fourth chapter, the narrative completely changes into a transformation story, making it murky as to why the first three chapters exist in the first place. They are unnecessary, because the idea of Ilya trying to set her mother up with a man following her divorce is a much more convincing premise than the oddly specific idea of Ilya’s diagnosed idol obsession. But by the time this is introduced, the reader will become severely disjointed by the sudden change, if the reader even makes it far enough to see it happen.

Despite some fun characters, from an adaptation standpoint there is nothing here that would give this story a reason to be turned into a visual medium. Again, the subject matter is very specific to the individual who wrote this novel, so audiences would have difficulty relating to the characters themselves. The essence of certain themes, such as overbearing parents, divorce, and jealousy are vaguely present, but they are not explored to a degree that would make it worth attempting to flesh out on-screen. In addition, “ugly-duckling” transformation films are plentiful, and [TITLE] does little to push the boundaries.

Although it would not convert into film, it’s ironic that this novel is written similarly to a screenplay. The writer neglects to include detailed literary elements that are typical of a book, and instead seems to opt for more dry, precise language that is reminiscent of a script. But for a novel, the metaphors and similes sprinkled throughout feel like they were tossed in as an afterthought, failing to naturally weave themselves throughout the dialogue and exposition. It makes for a fairly dull read, and coupled with the unconvincing plot, it’s hard to get through.

Overall, [TITLE] has some funny lines of dialogue and some interesting characters, but its weak premise and lack of adaptation potential make it a pass.

CONCEPT/ORIGINALITY: POOR CHARACTERS: GOOD DIALOGUE: FAIR STRUCTURE: POOR FORMAT: FAIR SCRIPT: PASS