THE RETRIEVER UMBC’s Student Newspaper

Volume 39, Issue 9 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 October 26, 2004 INSIDE Telemarketers a nuisance to UMBC campus residents

KARISSA BRAMHALL the calling are doing it for their from their call list,” explained Vitak predicted that the calls News 02 Retriever Staff Writer job, so I try to be polite and tell Vitak, “The law states that this is would eventually fade out on their them I’m just not interested,” said your right.” own. He explained that it is not “Hello, are you a student at Ann Chapman, sophomore, “but Clark Miller, freshman, put really to the telemarketers’ advan- UMBC? Would you like to take sometimes I have to be more per- his number on the federal “do not tage to call numbers where they advantage of our offer? We’ll send sistent than I want to be. That call” list in an attempt to rid him- have been hung up on or told to you free information about it, and annoys me.” self of sales calls from any compa- go away, because their goal is to there’s no obligation to buy!” So what can be done about ny. make sales. According to him, Sales pitches similar to this these calls? “Whenever an However, he said, “I think they will finish going through the have become familiar to many at unwanted sales call is received, that ResLife should have all those numbers on campus, and then Former grad school UMBC, as a wave of telemarket- you should immediately ask to numbers added to the ‘do not call’ stop calling. Telemarketers have ing calls has swept across campus. speak to a supervisor, and then tell list anyway. It’s not like anyone dean passes away, The most recent calls, according them to permanently remove you wants the freakin’ call.” see PHONES, page 2 Sodexho employees to George Vitak, director of unionize, and duckpin telecommunications at UMBC, bowlers on campus. have been made by a company called Clout Financial. Opinion Clout sells credit cards, and 06 according to its website, targets “young professionals.” Campus officials said that the company most likely looked up the phone numbers of college students in order to reach its target audience. The business side of campus has also encountered the calls, though, not just the residential buildings. Everything you need Vitak explained that the tele- to know about the marketers are probably using election, and then sequential dialing, trying one number after the other in numeri- some. cal order in an attempt to reach everyone on campus.Some stu- dents actually are interested in the Features 14 company’s offer, but most stu- dents have a negative reaction to the calls. The type of negative reaction, though, can vary greatly. While some hang up on the tele- Anita Field [Retriever Staff] marketers or respond angrily to Remembering the dead: Philosophy student Becky Dawson outlines Alpha Epsilon Phi vice president Aaron Stoler in them, others prefer to be more front of the UC monday afternoon. Stoler and others from Alpha Epsilon Phi were outlined to represent victims of sui- cide bombings in Israel, chalk outlines include victims’ names and ages. The group is also selling bracelets with vic- considerate. tims’ names on them for $2. All procedes will go to victim’s families. The activities will continue through Thursday. “The people actually doing “Whose Line” hits the RAC, students debate their professors in ‘Decision 2004’ and a Tri-party Debate Heats up the Commons new artist graces Features. RYAN DORRILL applause until the end). Student Whereas the two traditional more divergent political stances. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer representatives from all three par- representatives often took shots at The host of the debate, Sports 27 ties were visible holding signs, but each other’s candidates, Spear UMBC Public Policy professor Droves of students came to the College Republicans had the Lancaster more often used anec- the debate on Main Street in the most noticeable display. A big dotes and examples to explain his see DEBATE, page 2 Commons last Friday to support crowd of them stood next to the their favorite presidential candi- seats during the whole debate with UMBC Selection Committee: Help select a Book! date. Congressman Ben Cardin one member holding a cutout of represented John Kerry, Delegate an elephant and another wearing a Tony O’Donnell represented giant mock flip-flop to represent A Selection Committee is currently seeking nominations for next George Bush, and former guber- John Kerry. fall’s New Student Book experience, a program aimed at uniting incom- natorial candidate Spear Lancaster However, perhaps the most ing students through the reading of a common book. Successful homecom- represented Michael Badnarik of remarkable feature of the debate Last fall incoming students were encouraged to read the novel Cold ing week for men’s the Libertarian party in the civil for some students was its third Mountain in the program’s inaugural year. While last fall was the first soccer and swimming, but hard fought debate. party candidate, a missing feature time all incoming students were asked to read a common work the while volleyball, Although the student audi- of the national presidential honor’s college has used a similar program for a number of years. The women’s soccer and ence was polite for most of the debates since Ross Perot ran in freshman reading program is modeled after similar efforts at a number of field hockey need bet- debate, tension could be felt 1992. other colleges including College Park. between the parties and they “I thought his debate was like The committee is determining criteria as well as narrowing the ter luck next time. sometimes broke into applause at seeing the debate in 3D as nominations to three final choices to recommend to Diane Lee, Vice particularly pointed remarks opposed to the traditional 2D Provost. To make a nomination visit www.umbc.edu/provost/FYS/nom- ALSO: (though the moderator continual- debates,” said UMBC student form.php, the deadline for nominations is November 9. ly warned everyone to hold their David Gill. college news 02 world news 05 Four Day classifieds 30 trw.umbc.edu 410.455.1260 Forecast tues: 67/48o wed: 63/45o thu: 62/49o fri: 72/55o 2 News October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER

BehindtheScenes Little pins, big hearts College News UMBC duckpin bowling team gets a strike

Flat-screen TV emits SHIRA HELETZ children can easily handle the ball. Its popular- international distress signal Retriever Staff Writer ity grew since many bowling alleys closed down in the summer, and duckpin was played EUGENE, Oregon (Reuters) — Although UMBC may not be able to instead. Babe Ruth was a known fan of duck- TV hardly gets much better than this. brag that it has a football team, it can say that pin and soon the sport gained nationwide An Oregon man discovered earlier it has its very own duckpin bowling league. popularity creating a National Duckpin this month that his year-old Toshiba The duckpin bowling league has a long his- Bowling Congress. Corporation flat-screen TV was emit- tory at the school, starting about 30 years ago The current UMBC team is called the ting an international distress signal when the first chancellor, Albin O. Kuhn, “Should have been’s” because they often say or picked up by a satellite, leading a started the league as an opportunity for think phrases like that should have been a search and rescue operation to his employees to socialize and meet one another. strike or that should have been a spare. The apartment in Corvallis, Oregon, 70 Duckpin Bowling originated in team is led by Jon Davies, a physical plant miles south of Portland. Baltimore, Maryland around 1900. It’s dif- worker, “I’ve been on the duckpin team here The signal from Chris van ferent from the standard Tenpins bowling in since 1988 and I’ve met some great people and Rossmann’s TV was routed by satellite that the ball is much smaller (weighs on aver- made true friends.” Also currently on the They usually play from September-March to the Air Force Rescue Center at age 4 pounds) and the pins are smaller as well team are another staff member Lyn Murphy and in the end the teams are ranked. Langley Air Base in Virginia. to accommodate for the smaller ball. The and alumni Jim Pfeiffer. UMBC’s team is currently in 5th place in the On October 2, the 20 year-old col- smaller pins reminded people of ducks which However, the team is looking for mem- first quarter of the season. lege student was visited at his apart- inspired the name. The rules of scoring by bers to play every Thursday night at games. “It’s been harder to find members since ment in the small university town by a strikes and spares still apply, yet the bowler is “Its not one of those sports that requires a lot. interest has simply died down. People have contingent of local police, civil air allowed three chances to bowl instead of two We don’t practice, only just for a few minutes other things to do,” commented Davies. patrol and search and rescue personnel. in a set. Many think the sport requires more before the game,” explained Davies. The team There are only about 72 alleys that offer “They’d never seen signal come skill since there is less margin of error than in is part of a 12-14 team league that plays at duckpin left nationwide, yet it remains espe- that strong from a home appliance,” Tenpins. It’s a great sport for families, since AMF Bowling in Westview on Route 40. cially popular in the Maryland-DC area. said van Rossmann. “They were quite surprised. I think we all were.” Authorities had expected to find a Republicans, Democrats and Libertarians have boat or small plane with a malfunction- ing transponder, the usual culprit in mock presidential debate for UMBC students such incidents, emitting the 121.5 MHz frequency of the distress signal from DEBATE, page 1 “In our democracy we have a responsi- used internationally. bility to speak out when we feel our leaders Van Rossmann said he was told to Don Norris, opened by introducing himself are taking us in the wrong direction,” said keep his TV off to avoid paying a as the “Bob Schieffer look-alike” before set- Cardin, “if we had a true international com- $10,000 fine for “willingly broadcast- ting out the ground rules: each representa- mission we would have had a lot more suc- ing a false distress signal.” tive got two minutes per question that was cess.” Toshiba contacted Rossmann and directed at them and the others each got a Finally came Lancaster’s remarks on the offered to provide him with a replace- one minute response. Each candidate also subject. ment set for free, he said. had two thirty second bonus responses that “We owe it to the people in Iraq to not they could use at any time. leave them in a catastrophic position,” he Bees ‘hold key to alcohol misuse’ The questions rotated from representa- said, though he also expressed his dislike for tive to representative, giving each a chance to the war and the idea that an international discuss a topic that was of significance to coalition would have helped. OHIO (BBC)- Researchers at their candidate’s campaign. The questions In the next section of the debate, stu- Ohio State University in the US have were also divided into two rounds- those dents asked some questions of significance to found that bees react to alcohol in the asked by the moderator and those asked by the UMBC community including one on same way as people do. the audience. stem cell research and another on the rising During the experiments, bees were One of the highlights of the first set of cost of tuition. given ethanol - the intoxicating ingre- questions was “What would your candidate When the debate was finished it was dif- dient of alcohol. The team found it do to start bringing troops home from Iraq?” ficult to say who had come out the victor, affected their flying, walking and “When the job is done,” was O’Donnell’s but overall the student body certainly got to grooming. response for George Bush. “We cannot serve hear a worthwhile discussion. More research on bees is now to make statements in this country that “I think the student body needs to keep planned to try to establish how alcohol embolden our enemies,” he said, referring to informed of these things,” said Freshman affects memory and behaviour in Kerry’s criticism of the war in Iraq. Zach Kaufmann. humans. Cardin followed up with a heated The presidential election occurs in just Study co-author Dr Julie Mustard, response. one week one November 2nd. an entomology researcher at the univer- sity, said: “Alcohol affects bees and humans in similar ways - it impairs motor functioning along with learning Students fight back and memory processing. They couldn’t coordinate their legs against phone solicitors WRITE well enough to flip themselves back over again “On the molecular level, the brains from PHONES, page 1 of honey bees and humans work the FOR same. been a problem at UMBC before. They are “Knowing how chronic alcohol use usually told that the campus phone num- affects genes and proteins in the honey bers are not residential but belong to the bee brain may help us eventually state of Maryland, and are asked to stop NEWS understand how alcoholism affects calling. “Usually when there’s a formal memory and behaviour in humans.” request like that, they do listen and cease to Researchers gave the bees various call,” said Vitak. levels of ethanol and monitored for 40 Many students are irritated that these minutes how much time the bees spent companies could get their numbers in the flying, walking, grooming and even first place. Chapman said that this fact sur- upside down. prised and annoyed her, and Miller agreed. The bees were secured to a small “I would never have expected a tele- 410- harness made from a piece of drinking marketer to call the dorm number,” said straw and fed solutions of sucrose and Miller. “Most calls I get are about the water ethanol. The ethanol concentration not working or ResNet sucking.” ranged from zero to 100. 455-1260 THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 News 3 Congressman Elijah Cummings comes to campus GRACE LO PORTO tioned, “Do you also call Halliburton unpatriotic, Library in Baltimore], and she can tell me that Retriever Staff Writer an organization that is being paid billions—bil- there are people coming into the library…CIA lions—of no-bid contract to feed our soldiers and folk, FBI folk saying, ‘Look at that guy over there, house them, and voluntarily gave back twenty-two can you tell me what he just read?’…that is not the UMBC expressed its political clout last million when they got their hand caught in the United States of America...we have rules now Wednesday when United States Congressman cookie jar?...You talk about being unpatriotic, that under the Patriot Law—Act—where…your place Elijah E. Cummings, a Democrat from the sev- is it. You take the money...that our taxpayers pay, can be searched, they can seize, and tell you maybe enth district in Maryland, spoke to a mixed crowd take it on a no-bid contract…your job was then to a month or two later they did it. You think some- of students, faculty, and staff, in the Public Policy feed our troops and take care of them, and you body down the street robbed you—I mean broke Building on issues ranging from the Patriot Act turn around and you are being dishonest with the into your house—and it was your own govern- and rising tuition costs to his own life. American people and stealing their money… if ment. I guess what I’m saying is that everything, Cummings, the African-American son of that’s not unpatriotic, I don’t know what is. But everything has to have balance.” two former sharecroppers, who was in special edu- somebody has to stand up with regard to that.” Cummings called for an end to apathy, to cation up until the middle of the sixth grade, Cummings went into domestic issues next, “sit[ting] in fear,” and asked what we’ll do when encouraged UMBC students to realize their own calling the tax cut a “tax shift”; in giving money our grandchildren ask us what we did when our potential: “I wanted to bring the experiences that back to the rich, he stated that the “shift” rights were taken away. I have been blessed with, both good, bad, and decreased the money that goes to the middle class “I do not want history to be written that ugly, in my life, to try to help somebody—some- and the states. Thus, he said, it increased tuition Elijah Cummings, son of former sharecroppers, bodies—some persons—rise up to be all that God at institutions like UMBC, and decreased money son of former slaves, when it came for rights to be Grace Lo Porto [Retriever Staff] meant for them to be.” for things Pell Grants, while the declining econo- taken away…said nothing.” He mentioned the Speaking out: United States congressman Elijah The event began with opening remarks by my increases the number of people who actually money—“one billion dollars a day”—that the Cummings addresses UMBC students. Dom Cirincione, the President of the SGA. After need the grants. government is borrowing from countries like being introduced by Brian Baily, the SGA director “A lot of students like you cannot get part- China and Japan. “And you know what? They “pray, if you pray.” of Student Advocacy, Cummings took the stand time jobs, and you know why? Because there’s so can raise their interest rates whenever they want Dom Cirincione, said, “The SGA really and read from his own prepared remarks. many people that are employed who have full- to,” he said. wants to continue to do [things like this], with Cummings then walked out from behind the time jobs, and now they’re taking two to three He closed with a book, and a plea. The book both Republicans and Democrats, Independents, podium, leaving behind his notes, and spoke part-time jobs to make up for the [loss of income was Integrity, by Stephen L. Carter, a professor at Libertarians, we’re willing to bring everyone, and about his own humble beginnings, and entry into from the] full-time job,” he noted. Yale, who according to Cummings, says that peo- this is just one of the things that we’re willing to do politics. During his speech Cummings pointed to Cummings also mentioned the unemploy- ple with an education “have got to do something to ensure that the student body is both well edu- the quote from Margaret Mead that hangs in the ment rate, especially among African Americans. with it.” cated and informed.” lobby of the Public Policy Building: “My whole “In the African-American community, the “You need to discern what is right and what Brian Baily, who coordinated the event, said speech is here on the wall…. ‘Never doubt that a unemployment rate is double that of the general is wrong, [and] in order to discern what is right that he was happy with the turnout… “the room small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can community. In New York, a recent New York and what is wrong, you need to read…you must was full…I think we attracted a good crowd in the change the world.’” Times article said that fifty percent of African- act upon what is right, even to your own peril. end.” Cummings said we are living in “a difficult American males in New York don’t have a job. That’s the hard part.” Cummings was also gracious enough to time.” He applauded the invasion of Afghanistan Can you imagine if fifty percent of our population The plea was this: “I have come here not to address a number of lingering concerns on the way but criticized the war in Iraq, which he voted was unemployed, what it would do to our econo- ask you but to beg you to act, to do something…I to his car. against. my? It would—It would be destroyed,” he said. beg you to live your life with no regrets,” closed When asked why he chose to come to “Somewhere along the way to finding Cummings is the head of the Congressional Black Cummings. UMBC, he said, “first of all, it’s in my district. Osama Bin Laden we got diverted, and started Caucus. Cummings received a standing ovation— Second of all, I like talking to young people…I looking for Saddam Hussein,” he said. Cummings mentioned the Patriot Act, and and a plaque from the SGA—and afterward lin- just think it’s important that they have an oppor- Cummings said he had faced criticism for his how he sees it as infringing on Americans’ rights. gered to speak with students and faculty. He tunity—they have access to people who are in stance on the war, and was even called unpatriot- “When I have conversations with Carla encouraged them to call their relatives in the bat- leadership and making decisions that affect their ic for voting against the war in Iraq, but, he ques- Hayden [the director of the Enoch Pratt Free tleground states and tell them to vote, and to lives.”

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 26 MAKING THE MAJOR DECISION- FRIDAY, OCTOBER 29 FESTIVUS ACAPPELLIUS A THOUSAND HOUNDS Nearing 60 Credits GOLDEN HARVEST FUN FEST ACAPPELLA MUSIC FESTIVAL Tuesday-Saturday A.O.K. Library Gallery 1 PM Academic Services 1-3PM Main Street - Commons 7 PM UMBC Ballroom A Walk with the Dogs Through the Come out to make masks, drink cider History of Photography SEB MOVIE - AnchorMan and have some fun! SEB MOVIE - Anchorman 7.30 PM & 10 PM Lecture Hall 2 ($2) 8 PM Lecture Hall 1 ($1) CAMPUS CLEAN-UP POOL CLASS 12-2 PM Begin at Susquehana Hall 4-6pm Gameroom PUB NIGHT THURSDAY, OCTOBER 28 8-12:30 AM Cabaret PUMPKIN DECORATING W/ INDS WOMEN'S SOCCER vs. Northeastern FIELD HOCKEY vs. Drexel 12-2 PM Main Street - Commons 5 PM UMBC Stadium 3 PM UMBC Soccer Stadium SUNDAY, OCTOBER 31 RESIDENT & COMMUTER UNITY NIGHT HOUSING AND NEIGHBORHOOD VOLLEYBALL vs. Maine RAVENS VS. EAGLES 6-8 PM Cabaret ROUNDTABLE 7-9 PM RAC 1 PM Sports Zone Karaoke! 6 PM Fine Arts - Rm 306 LIVE MUSIC - Fooling April Don't forget to turn your VOLLEYBALL vs. Stony Brook 9-11PM Cabaret SEB MOVIE - Anchorman clocks back an hour!!! 7-9 PM RAC 7.30 PM & 10 PM Lecture Hall 2 ($2) 80's DANCE PARTY BLACK LIGHT POOL PUB NIGHT & COFFEEHOUSE 9 PM-12 AM Sports Zone 8-10 PM Gameroom 4-7 PM Happy Hour Come in your hottest 80's gear MONDAY, NOVEMBER 1 7-11 PM Live Music and get in for FREE!! LECTURE SERIES: The production of pathology: The WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 27 role of the news media in reporting LIVE MUSIC - Sylvie Lewis SATURDAY, OCTOBER 30 on race, ethnicity, and gender 1 PM Sports Zone SEB'S SIX FLAGS FRIGHT FEST 7-9 PM UC 201A 11 AM - 7 PM Cmmons 2b10 for tickets MEN'S SOCCER vs. Howard KARAOKE NIGHT 1 PM UMBC Soccer Stadium WOMEN'S SOCCER vs. Boston University 8-11PM Cabaret 1 PM UMBC Stadium

VOLLEYBALL vs. New Hampshire 7-9 PM RAC

KLP

For a full list of events check out the calendar link at http://www.umbc.edu OR call the events hotline at 410.455.3100 opt. 5 4 Advertisement October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 News 5 Police Log

locations. The clerk stalled the man Theft from building Burglary until police arrived when it was deter- World News mined that the individual was not a stu- The Retriever reported that four adver- Two UMBC students reported that credit dent and was trying to sell the books tisement posters were stolen from several cards and cash were stolen from their rooms in back for an unidentified black male who British Military Enlists Its First Satanist newspaper bins around campus on October the Casselman apartments on October 14 when had promised to split the money with 12. they left their room doors and apartment door him. LONDON (Reuters) - Britain’s Armed unlocked. Forces have enlisted their first Satanist after a Theft from building CDS violation (Marijuana) naval technician serving on a frigate was Burglary granted permission to practice his beliefs while at sea, the Ministry of Defense said A UMBC student reported that her cell Three UMBC students were issued Sunday. phone was stolen after she accidentally left it While investigating the above burglary a stu- judicial referrals on October 16 when Defending the decision to allow a on the floor of a restroom in the dent told UMBC police that he also had cash UMBC police responding to a report of Satanist among the Royal Navy’s ranks, a Administration building on October 12. stolen from his room on September 27 when the the smell of marijuana in Potomac hall ministry spokesman said it was an “equal apartment was again left unlocked. were lead to a room containing the three opportunities employer” and did not discrim- Theft from building students. inate against specific religious beliefs. Attempted theft from build- “He went to his commanding officer Theft of auto parts with a request to practice his beliefs on board A UMBC student reported that her cell ing his ship and it was granted ... We believe he is phone was stolen from her backpack when she accessories the first avowed Satanist to serve in the mili- left it unattended to use the water fountain in A UMBC student attempting to sell back tary, but there is no official register of beliefs,” the Social Science building on October 12. two copies of the same book to the Bookstore on Police found a vehicle in Lot 18 with the spokesman said. October 15 aroused the suspicions of the clerk the tags removed on October 16, they The Sunday Telegraph newspaper said Possession of marijuana who stopped the sale. The student eventually were not able to contact the owner of the Chris Cranmer, 24, from Edinburgh, stated that he had been approached by a black vehicle, a UMBC student, but did con- Scotland would be allowed to have a funeral male who had asked the student to sell the books tact the student’s mother who stated carried out by the Church of Satan should he A UMBC student was issued a judicial back due to the fact the male had no identifica- there was no reason for her son to remove be killed in action. referral on October 12 after admitting to tion with him. the tags. The Church of Satan was founded in UMBC police that he possessed marijuana in the 1960s, but Satanism can refer to a diverse his Susquehanna dorm when questioned about Attempted theft from a build- Theft from building set of practices that include viewing Satan as a an odor coming from the room. force of nature. ing Members of the church, which rejects Theft from building A UMBC student reported that her Christian ideas of God and the Devil, follow An individual claiming to be a UMBC purse and cell phone were stolen from 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth. student attempted to sell some textbooks the basketball court in the RAC on The belief system has been condemned A UMBC student reported that her lap- back to the Bookstore on October 15. The October 14. On October 17 the purse as a cult by some religious groups and at least top computer was stolen from her book bag clerk became suspicious because the books was returned to the RAC’s lost and found one opposition politician expressed dismay in the women’s locker room of the RAc on were new and she had seen the individual but the cell phone was not inside. after Cranmer won permission to practice October 13. removing and replacing books in various Satanism aboard a Royal Navy ship. “I am utterly shocked by this,” said Conservative parliamentarian Anne Widdecombe. UMBC busses Former UMBC graduate “Satanism is wrong. Obviously the pri- vate beliefs of individuals anywhere including students to polls school dean passes away the armed forces are their own affair but I hope it doesn’t spread,” she said. On election day, Tuesday November 2, PATRICK TYLER professor of physics. next week UMBC shuttle service will be Retriever Editorial Staff Writer Mulligan authored two textbooks and Teacher Jailed After Brawl With Parent making speacial trips to Catonsville High numerous papers during his lifetime, and School to allow students the chance to vote. continued his love of physics long after MACON, Georgia (AP)- A teacher- Shuttle service will be provided at 10 Professor Emeritus of Physics and his retirement from teaching. Mulligan parent brawl in front of 19 primary school a.m., 12 p.m., 5 p.m., 6 p.m. and 7 p.m. UMBC’s first Dean of the graduate continued to be involved in UMBC as pupils sent a mother to the emergency Busses will load at the main stop at school, Joseph Mulligan, died on October well, maintaining a close bond with cur- room and the teacher to jail. Hilltop Circle and Commons Drive. 11 in Salisbury, Maryland at the age of 83. rent physics department chair Geoff Teacher Katrina Ann Rucker, 30, is Mulligan came to UMBC in 1968 as a Summers. charged with battery and cruelty to chil- professor of physics and dean of the grad- A UMBC memorial for Mulligan will dren for allegedly beating a parent who uate school. Mulligan spent 22 years at be held at 2:30 p.m. on November 22 on tried to retrieve her daughter’s book bag, UMBC during which time he developed the 7th floor of the library. Funeral serv- The Macon Telegraph newspaper reported and enlarged the graduate school, worked ices are private. Friday. Sodexho employees as the acting chair of the physics depart- Donations should be made to the According to police interviews, parent ment from 1987 to 1988, and was deeply Joseph F. Mulligan Memorial Scholarship, Lurella Amica went to Bruce-Weir try to unionize on involved in the faculty senate and various which will, “provide support for under- Elementary School Thursday morning to other committees. Upon his retirement in graduate education in UMBC’s physics deliver a note to her 9-year-old daughter. UMBC campus 1989 Mulligan was appointed Emeritus department,” according to a press release. At the classroom door, the girl told her mother that Rucker had thrown her bag in the trash can, the report stated. Amica For nearly a month Sodexho employees hop- entered the classroom and tried to get the ing to organize here on campus have been circulat- book bag, but Rucker grabbed for it and ing fliers among food service co-workers in the the two struggled, the report said. hopes of receiving better pay, affordable health After Amica wrestled the bag away, care and greater on the job respect through union- police say Rucker picked up a chair and hit izing. her in the back, knocking Amica to the Of 6000 international food service locations floor. Rucker then began punching Amica and 300 functioning contracts for service, only in the face and body. approximately 13% are unionized, said Oscar During the fight, the girl was report- Berninger, General Manager of Sodexho Dining edly crying for her teacher to stop hitting Services at UMBC. her mother and ran up to them. Rucker The union organizers are currently holding then allegedly hit the child, pulled her hair meetings and working towards getting at least half and pushed her out of the way before start- of the employees to sign petition “cards.” Once a ing to strike the mother again. majority of the employees have signed the cards Rucker dragged Amica by the hair organizers can present them to Sodexho. Sodexho outside the classroom, according to the would then contact the National Labor Relations report. Board and within 40-60 days a union election “A school administrator and another would be held by private vote. If the move passes teacher had to pull the teacher off the union negotiations begin immediately, if it fails mother,” Macon police spokeswoman organizers must stop campaigning for a time. Melanie Hofmann said. 6 October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER INSIDE

Does my vote matter?08 Check out those candidates10 Opinion The ballot12 Endorsing a non-endoresement Letters Editor Newspapers and other media outlets across the nation have chosen to to the endorse presidential candidates for November’s election. Endorsing a candi- date sends a direct message to readers, often influencing the opinions of vot- Letters to the editor can be sent to [email protected] or delivered to UC 214, c/o Letters to the ers who have strong feelings toward the publication itself. While an endorse- Editor. Letters must be received by 12 p.m. on Thursday and must be typed or written legibly and include the ment does not inherently change the minds of its readers, it at least causes author’s name and telephone number. Letters to the Editor cannot exceed 400 words. many to reconsider their votes. While we certainly run numerous articles on various candidates and per- Dear Editor, spectives, the editorial board itself does not intend on advancing a political I was very surprised when I read Amber Sampson’s article about “Love Your Body Day.” I would have thought that agenda, even if it were to agree with one. The Retriever serves to provide an effort like this—one that brings women together to discuss and appreciate their natural physical beauty—would have information to the campus, not to sway their votes. To attempt the latter been right up her ally. After reading ahead, though, it became clear that this article was not about “Love Your Body Day” would represent an abuse of our power. at all, but rather, was a detailed description of all of Sampson’s personal prejudices against NOW. As a campus newspaper, we represent a campus community. Above all, Although Sampson’s article is titled NOW’s Love Your Body Day, in fact, the two main arguments against “Love the paper belongs to the UMBC community itself. To advocate a particular Your Body Day” take up only two paragraphs of the entire article. The rest of it deals with abortion. candidate suggests that the community itself supports the candidate, which The article suggests that NOW is hypocritically denying the link between increased chances of breast cancer and isn’t necessarily the case. We don’t pretend to know the thoughts of every stu- induced abortion, as based on Dr. Joel Brind’s research. There’s only one thing wrong with this assertion: a vast majority dent here. of epidemiologists say Brind’s conclusions are dead wrong, and believe that Brind used incomplete data and drew heavi- This being said, the Retriever does not endorse any candidate for 2004. ly upon his own pro-life beliefs to generate such conclusions. “Circumspection, unfortunately, is what you have to do to Instead, we simply endorse voting; we encourage you to pursue issues and practice epidemiology,” says Polly Newcomb, a researcher at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle. candidates further, and make informed decisions on your own. Efforts like “That’s something Brind is incapable of doing. He has such a strong prior belief in the association [between abortion and Project Vote Smart provide a great deal of information from a non-partisan cancer] that he just can’t evaluate the data critically.” source, which can help separate the opinions from simple data. There are If Sampson wants hypocrisy, I would suggest she look at the website of the Social Issues Research Centre in plenty of opinions in this section, but for the election, make your own Oxford, UK. There, we learn that the esteemed impartial researcher Dr. Brind—apart from making extraordinary claims choice. about his own successes and selling his publication ‘Abortion Breast Cancer Quarterly Update’ to anxious women for $45—is in fact, firmly embedded in the anti-abortion movement. Far from being a genuinely unbiased researcher, Brind On unnecessary adjective has written articles specifically for the pro-life movement. Out of his 17 single-authored publications, no less than 9 are in the journal National Right to Life News. Brind is, if you will, an “activist researcher” for the anti-abortion movement. usage at the library I hope we can all take a lesson from Dr. Joel Brind, namely, that it’s all well and good to have opinions and voice In order to ensure that students don’t use cell phones, play music, or see LETTERS, page 11 hold loud “study” sessions concerning problems with their significant others, designated quiet floors in the library are a must. They let us know that, yes, Retraction: others are studying or sleeping, and we mustn’t disturb them. But this semester, the A.O.K. powers-that-be decided that Absolute The intended headline for Amber Sampson’s October 19 article was “NOW doesn’t love your body,” and was Quiet Floors would be a good idea. intended to focus on the organization rather than the event. It was changed by a member of the editorial staff with- We’re here to tell you that this is Absolutely Absurd. out the author’s knowledge. First of all, isn’t the definition of quiet something equivalent to, “with- out noise” or “silence”? Well then, what is “absolute” quiet? It’s an unneces- sary adjectival modifier, that’s what it is. It implies there are varying degrees of “quiet” when in fact, there are not. The Retriever staff editori- Second of all, the fact that there are Absolute Quiet Floors undermines als reflect the views of the edito- the Quiet Floors. Now, because there are such things as Absolute Quiet THE RETRIEVER rial board; signed columns and Floors, this must mean that there must be some level of noise that is tolerat- UMBC’s Student Newspaper advertisements represent the ed on the Quiet Floors — making the quiet floor not quiet anymore. Editor in Chief ...... Kaidye C. Hansen opinions of the individual writ- Why all the fuss? Yes, we’ve checked out the library rules, we realize that Managing Editor ...... Douglas Miller ers and advertisers, respectively, there are things that make the Absolute Quiet Floors different from the quiet Business Manager...... Oliver Baranczyk and do not necessarily reflect floors. But these rules essentially boil down to more strictly enforced “quiet.” those of The Retriever or the We totally agree with absolute silence being enforced at the library. Advertising Manager ...... Nic Takemoto University of Maryland Some people don’t know how to shut up. But the changing of some previ- News Editor...... Patrick Tyler Baltimore County. ously Quiet Floors to Absolute Quiet Floors is pointless – it basically tells stu- Assistant News Editor ...... Brandy Keller Letters to the Editor are dents that the floors marked as quiet, aren’t. Please keep enforcing – but don’t Opinion Editor ...... Ian Bukowski printed verbatim, although the play semantic games with us, or else years from now we will see seven Assistant Opinion Editor ...... Brian Arnold editors reserve the right to edit “absolutes” on the 7th floor sign when we could have just used one simple Features Editor ...... Amy Segreti any letter deemed lengthy, repet- word. Assistant Features Editor...... Grant Huang itive, libelous or otherwise in Art Scoop Editor ...... Sun Hashmi need of revision. The editors fur- Bling blinging ice Sports Editor ...... Astrid Sperling ther reserve the right not to Assistant Sports Editor ...... Kim DeBarge print any letter for any reason. The verbal assault by jewelry companies heard on radio and television Photography Editor ...... Anita Field Letters to the Editor must be has reached a breaking point. It is hard to believe that there are really enough Assistant Photography Editor ...... Stephanie Potter typed or written legibly and people out there who embrace the shallow qualities flaunted in these com- Production Manager ...... Evan Wiegand include the author’s name and mercials to make them commercially viable. It is much easier to believe that Production Assistant...... Noel Mueller telephone number. Letters must DeBeers, Ronnie Mervis, Jensen, Kays, and all the rest simply have too much Production Assistant ...... Julija Slavikas be received by 12 p.m. on money and not enough brains. Production Assistant...... Jesse Chong Thursday and may not exceed Case in point, an ad this morning that attested to the fact that if you Production Assistant ...... Christian Brown 400 words. squared ‘interest’ you get ‘intense’ and that for this reason, their company was Copy Editor...... Steve Wiley The Retriever publishes intense about their diamonds. Not to mention the fact that all of this money Copy Editor...... Amber Sampson weekly on Tuesdays during the in trade for brains tends to come off the backs of third world countries with Copy Editor...... Colin McGuigan regular school year. Editors can horrible living conditions. It’s more than just a verbal assault, it is an intel- Copy Editor...... Lidiya Mischenko be reached at (410) 455-1260 lectual and moral assault, and it needs to end. Copy Editor...... Rossi Irobalieva during normal business hours or at University Center 214; 1000 Copy Editor...... Justin Peeples Want to write for Hilltop Circle; UMBC; Illustrator...... Christina Ralls Baltimore, MD 21250. The Technology Manager ...... Rick Carback Retriever is an equal opportuni- the Retriever? Assistant Technology Manager ...... Paul Swenson ty employer. Webmaster ...... Alice Rhodes Circulation Manager...... Matt Stockslager Check us Come to a meeting during free hour on Assistant Circulation Manager...... Roy Richardson Faculty Adviser...... Christopher Corbett out online: wednesdays in the UC, or call Administrative Adviser ...... Dr. Patty Perillo extension 51260 Layout Design Concept...... Brandon Gilbertson http://trw.umbc.edu THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 7 Opinion Senators? I have Senators? AMBER SAMPSON looked at as central to the functioning of Retriever Staff Writer American government. It should not be forgot- ten that, on domestic policy, the Senate and Well, hopefully, after endless months of House wield more power than the president in campaigning, four televised debates, thorough most cases. With all the campaign promises conversations with UMBC student activists, and made by both candidates, nothing will come to insightful commentary from the media establish- pass without the support—or lack thereof—of ment, you’ve all made up your minds about your your legislators, Republican or Democrat. presidential candidate of choice for November But, since the media is severely lacking in its 2nd. Whether you’ve decided to vote against coverage of Senatorial and Congressional races, Bush, or Kerry, or both, you’re confident about where could one find adequate information stepping into that voting booth and pushing the about the incumbents and challengers in one’s lever—er, screen—for the next head of state. district? Well, there’s always the highly informed Fantastic. Mission accomplished. method of checking the lawn of your favorite Well, not quite. You wouldn’t know it from neighbor. Or, you could check out Project Vote the media coverage, but there are, in fact, multi- Smart. ple elections occurring next Tuesday. When you Project Vote Smart (www.vote-smart.org) is step into that booth in the state of Maryland, a citizens’ organization supported by donations you will also be asked to push the lever—er, from private patrons. It is completely nonparti- Courtesy of www.vote-smart.org screen—for candidates for the United States san, and dedicated to providing thorough, accu- Vote, but vote smart: Log on to Project Vote Smart to browse positions and voting records for local and national candidates. Or check up on your current representatives’ records. Senate and Congress. Despite popular belief, rate, and sufficient information to help citizens these positions actually matter. reclaim responsible democracy from sound-bites The only discussion of the Senate and and political deception. Its website is a detailed, tions. So, before you enter that booth next House lately seems to be in terms of whether the organized, and user-friendly database of informa- Project Vote Smart is the best thing to hap- Tuesday, take some time to become informed new president will “face” a Democratic or tion on thousands of public officials and candi- pen to democracy since the hanging chad (no, about your federal legislators. Some of their posi- Republican legislative body. This type of com- dates for public office, from the president to gov- wait…). It is one of the only sources out there to tions may even surprise you. mentary devalues the individual positions of ernors to state and local bodies. And, of course, provide truly useful information in such an U.S. Senators and Congressmen, who don’t you can find information on your Senators and accessible way. There is more than enough to Amber Sampson is a staff writer and copy always tow the party line. Perhaps because so Congressmen and their challengers—including provide a basis for educated voting—but if you editor for the Retriever. She can be reached for much attention has been focused on the war, the biographies, voter records, interest group ratings, don’t agree, you can find links to the candidates’ comment by going to www.vote-smart.org. j/k. position of Commander-in-Chief has been campaign finances, and self-reported issue posi- own websites to learn more. Email her at [email protected].

Quotes from the Quad photos by St.Johnn Blondell What is your favorite Bush-ism?

Carole McCann R. Bilal Director of Women Studies Freshman, Undecided “When Bush uses the same language “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful and so are to describe John Kerry as Osama Bin we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our Laden.” country and our people, and neither do we.” -G. W. Bush”

Mary Ricks Senior, Photos “Everything that comes out of his mouth.”

James Russo Senior, Music “Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning.” - G. W. Bush 8 Opinion October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER Point Counterpoint Maybe Maryland does swing that way Maryland voting: a swing and a miss

IAN BUKOWSKI YAAKOV WEISSMAN tough time against a Republican and a atop comfortable margins twice. Even our Retriever Editorial Staff Retriever Staff Writer member of the Green party. All across the current sitting governor hails from the Grand state, not only are Democrats and Ol’ Party. The election is a week from today and Republicans campaigning, but all the other Over the past year or so, you may have However, one should keep in mind that there is no good excuse for you not to vote. parties are too. If you have problems with witnessed the in-your-face contortion of our Democrats have won a majority of presiden- I have had conversations with friends who what is going on in your area, vote for democratic process that is affectionately tial election and gubernatorial elections over tell me they don’t have a way to get there. change. If you don’t like what Senator referred to as the presidential election. Living the past half-century. Elections have turned Figure it out; too much is at stake. Other Mikulski is doing, or if you think Mr. in Maryland however, we’ve managed to the way of the donkey eight-to-four since friends tell me they don’t know enough Pipkin would do a lousy job, get out and escape the brunt of this assault on integrity, as Eisenhower. Gubernatorial elections have about the candidates. Well, find out. But vote! we have seen few campaign ads, fewer cam- gone to Democrats ten-to-three. While many the one I hear the most often is “I live in Over the last four years, I have heard paign stops, and a general lack of attention. claim that Bob Ehrlich rode into office on a Maryland, it doesn’t matter who I vote for.” people complaining about the State of the When it comes down to it, Maryland is far Republican “mandate,” consider the fact that Traditionally, Maryland is known as a Nation, but it seems that those who com- from a swing state; it’s hardly even contested. he’s the first Republican elected to the office “blue” state, a state dominated by plain the loudest are the least likely to vote. As a Maryland voter, your vote is still an actu- since Spiro T. Agnew in 1966. Also, keep in Democrats nearly 2-1, and where a On behalf of everybody who cares enough al vote. Just don’t hold your breath for a nail- mind that presidential elections bring out Democrat holds almost every congressional about their country to vote, let me tell you biting, chad-hanging, photo finish. Your vote more voters, especially ones that are down to seat. But times are changing. In 2002, my new slogan: “If you don’t vote, don’t is hardly going to turn the tide in election ’04. the wire. And in Maryland, a big turnout Maryland elected its first Republican gover- complain.” You had a chance, but you While Maryland isn’t quite as Democrat leans heavily in the direction of Democrats, nor since 1966. In Senator Barbara thought it better to come up with excuses. as our neighbors in Washington D.C., who outnumber Republicans 1.5 million to Mikulski’s run to win her Senate seat again, Republican victories here are blips in a gener- .85 million. she is facing a vicious campaign against Yaakov Weissman is a staff writer for the al Democratic trend. Yes, there have been Bush lost Maryland by 17 points four State Senator E.J. Pipkin. More important Retriever. He can be reached for comment at Republican victories here before. Reagan won years ago. Even if every Ehrlich voter cast their than all of this is the fact that Maryland [email protected]. in his re-election bid, Nixon beat McGovern ballot for our Texan-in-Chief, they still could- may not be a sure win for the Democrats. by a landslide in 1972, and Eisenhower sat n’t hold a candle to the Democratic turnout of In mid-September, a poll taken by the past few elections. SurveyUSA, an independent Anti-Bush sentiment is just as prevalent polling firm, had the presidential in 2004. Polls released by Gonzales Research candidates tied at 48 percent and Marking Strategies have shown Kerry up among likely voters. A more recent by at least 10 points since around the time he poll by SurveyUSA puts Kerry secured the Democratic ticket. Even Ehrlich ahead, but the second poll is suggested that Bush should skip Maryland insignificant. If Bush was tied only and campaign in “states he can potentially six weeks ago, then the tide could win.” be turned again, and your vote does I’d be willing to bet someone a pretty matter. shiny nickel that Maryland is going to Kerry. So what about the If you’re inclined to vote for a third-party Independents and Democrats who candidate, write-in candidate, or anyone else, claim their votes don’t matter? First, Maryland is one of the best places to do so. to the Democrats who say the Ralph Nader garnered 50,000 votes in 2000, Maryland vote is surely blue, see and Gore still won by 300,000 votes. If you’re above, and remember that in this energized about Kerry, more power to you. election nothing is definite. However, if you’re of the mind that he repre- Remember that this election is not sents the “less crappy” choice, you shouldn’t just about national offices, but also feel as if voting for someone else will secure a about local ones. As noted above, Republican victory. There’s little need to vote the race between Senator Mikulski as a strategic tool in Maryland. Sure, your vote and State Senator Pipkin is very technically counts, but don’t count on it close for a Maryland Senate race, becoming a crucial factor for a Bush victory. and there are plenty of candidates in between. For example, Ian Bukowski is the Opinion Editor for the Representative Elijah Cummings [Courtesy of hypatia.ss.uci.edu ] Retriever. He can be reached for comment at (D-MD District 7) is having a Don’t count on a recount: For voters in Maryland, the chances of a close election appear to be pretty slim. [email protected]. The real winner of the 2004 election might be the lawyers

LIZA WOODS support his recount effort and the Kerry are not on the voter rolls, but who claim they tating, but he has no choice considering he is Retriever Staff Writer camp has boasted that they have over 500 should be. Left-wing groups like “People For being threatened with preemptive litigation lawyers in various states waiting just in case the American Way” are geared up to file suits, strikes. Some may say you can end this Remember when we would have an elec- “voting irregularities” occur. In another making this ordeal an unsolvable headache process by getting rid of the Electoral College, tion, and the next day we’d know who was the report, the DNC claims it will deploy 10,000 because lawyers will hunt for these supposed but then the supporters of a candidate would president? I don’t think anyone doubts that lawyers to battleground states to watch for people, who allegedly should have voted, even just whine about losing the popular vote. this election won’t be anything like that, after supposed wrongdoings. Cut out the lawyer if the number is so minuscule it wouldn’t fac- The public can also view the use of law- the absurdity of the 37 days following the speak and what this really means is that if tor in. But they will do this just so there suits to get a specific candidate into the 2000 election. There are already countless President Bush wins, then Kerry will call foul, could be another delay in possibly putting White House as the equivalent of bully tac- lawsuits pending, in preparation for the per- even when none is present. President Bush in office. tics. They hope that if the American people ceived legal issues that will occur in the wake This all stems from the residual bitter- If Bush wins, everybody is going to cry want to avoid lawyers and Supreme Court of the election. But this “preparation” seems ness still left over from the 2000 election, “he stole it,” “he tampered with the judges, we will vote for John Kerry. But I sin- more like desperation. which Democrats still accuse Bush of stealing machines,” and “voter disenfranchisement,” cerely hope people don’t concede. If you want I heard something shocking on Fox from Al Gore. Most people remember the even though millions of Americans supported to vote for George W. Bush or Ralph Nader, News Sunday. The comment was in reference disaster that was the recount process and the Bush. But apparently those voters don’t then do it. to a memo that calls for party members to Floridians have assured us they may once count. This is a dangerous precedent to set Also think about the lesson this type of complain preemptively about voter intimida- again delay the conclusion of another election because it shows how utterly calculating the behavior teaches the youth: if you don’t get tion, followed by this statement: “You heard process. The lawsuits are pouring in from people who support Kerry and their gaggle of what you want, then you can sue to obtain it. it right here. If every vote is allowed to be cast every direction, from civil rights groups to attorneys are. According to them, if the Great moral message, huh? The attorney- and every vote is counted, John Kerry will be labor unions, who all seem to have a problem American people re-elect George W. Bush, related madness that started in 2000 has spi- president.” I guess besides having some like- with the machines. Democrats have already then we apparently don’t know what we want. raled out of control and turned the election minded judges and lawyers waiting in the filed suits to allow Floridians to use optional We evidently need the lawyers, the Kerry process into a never-ending ordeal with only wings (even one running for Vice President) paper ballots, even though they are the ones camp, and Jesse Jackson to tell us who we one solution in sight: the Supreme Court they also apparently have psychics telling who championed changing the voting really voted for or should have voted for. throwing out frivolous lawsuits quickly and them the future. Who knew? method. The NAACP sued the election offi- Who’s to say that it will end after George stricter penalties being put on unwarranted This suggests that the main culprits in cials of Volusia County in Florida, alleging W. Bush is gone? Maybe in the next go suits. Every vote should count, and that delaying the choosing of the president this the county disenfranchised blacks, gaining an round, if it is former NY mayor Rudy includes those for Bush. time will be the lawyers in the Kerry camp, early voting site in an area with a large minor- Giuliani versus Senator Hilary Clinton, we and florida voters, who, chadless, now com- ity population. may have similar tactics used in that election. Liza Woods is a staff writer for the plain about computerized voting. Kerry has This year’s chads may be the provisional Sure, people will complain if Bush prepares Retriever and can be reached for questions and already raised $2 million dollars for a fund to ballot, which are ballots given to those who himself with lawyers, and that is just as irri- comments at [email protected]. THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 Opinion 9 Fill-in-the-blank for president

COLIN MCGUIGAN vote was not wasted. Retriever Staff Writer Some have accused me of abandoning the electoral process. Writing in a candidate, Like a good democrat, I filled in the they say, is no better than not voting. They’re bubbles on my absentee ballot last week and wrong. Not voting communicates apathy to dropped it in the post office box, but I don’t public officials. And I am not apathetic. have to wait until November 2 for the elec- Indifference would have me resign myself to tion results. I already know my candidates of the lethargic state of party politics and elect a Tell people older choice will not be taking office next year, for candidate who disregards my values. Writing the excellent reason that they were not run- in a candidate, on the other hand, shows I am ning. concerned with the affairs of my country and than you what to do. Several months ago, I was in a quandary. dissatisfied with my options for leadership. I It wasn’t that I didn’t know what I wanted in am a Democrat, but I want the Democratic my elected officials. I know exactly what I Party to change. That change will not come want. It wasn’t that I didn’t know what the as long as I, and others, continue to vote candidates’ positions on the issues were. I’m according to Democratic orthodoxy. By writ- fairly politically aware (especially with the ing in a candidate for office, I’ve made an help of www.vote-smart.org). My problem effort to register my discontent with the was this: knowing what I wanted, and know- shape of national politics. ing the candidates, I knew none of them were More importantly, though, writing in a what I was looking for. In fact, it was worse candidate has allowed me to participate in than that. All the candidates, in my mind, democracy in good conscience. Although I had committed deal-breakers, had voted or can vote for a candidate with whom I disagree acted in ways that offended my conscience. I on many issues (I did, in fact), I cannot vote yourvotecounts.org shared the sentiment of the Democrats for for a candidate who violates my most solemn Life, who recently announced their position convictions. If I understand correctly, democ- on the presidential election: “We are not tak- racy is intended to empower. But what kind ing a position on the race because there is no of empowerment is it that forces people to candidate that we can support.” In my opin- abandon their deepest principles? Admittedly, ion, a vote for any of the candidates was a bad writing in a guaranteed loser is less satisfying vote. than voting for someone who has a chance, So I found myself in that doleful lot of but it is a lot better than selling out. undecided voters. But I didn’t stay there for With one week left before the election, I long. I did some research, and found a mem- urge you to consider whether you are voting ber of the United States Senate, and two for the lesser of two evils. Can you feel good members of the Maryland General Assembly, about that ballot? Or are you going to the one senator and one delegate, who were eligi- polls and leaving your convictions behind? ble for candidacy and not morally compro- mised. I marked their names on my ballot Colin McGuigan is a staff writer and copy and am sending them letters to inform them editor for the Retriever. He is not eligible for of my support and encourage them to seek federal office, so don’t write him in. You can, higher office. It’s true that these politicians however, contact him at [email protected]. will not be elected this year. However, my We’re about done here

JOHN ELLIS the time before the election (the elders told Retriever Staff Writer me about it, stroking their grey beards while mumbling about the “long ago”) when I Bush, Kerry? Kerry, Bush? What about could go up to people and talk about, well, Ralph Nader? What about get the hell off my stuff. “Hey dudes, did you see that movie?” TV for 10 seconds! Seriously, is anyone else Remember when you said stuff like that? sick of talking about the election? Look, it’s Now all you can talk about is Bush this and not that I don’t care, because I do. I’ve Kerry that, but you ran out of things to say thought about this election a great deal for a nine months ago. Just admit it. You’ve been year and a half, and I know how I’m going to recycling material. Have you said anything vote. But everyone knows how they’re going new or significant about the election at all to vote at this point. Who was sitting around recently? Again, probably not. last week looking at Kerry hunting a duck So as of right now, I am officially put- and thinking, “Damn, looks like I was wrong ting the election on autopilot. I’m done talk- about that Massachusetts Liberal, time to ing about it, I’m done reading about it, I’m change my vote.”? We all know where they just going to sit quietly in my room and wait stand, who they support, and why. We know for November 2nd. Then I’m going to do their poll history, their voting records, their my duty as an American: go vote, and get Vietnam records, and what they thought of drunk. breakfast at the local waffle hut. This campaign has been going on for John Ellis is a staff writer for the Retriever and about 2 years now, and I’m tired of it. Could a fan of gum with zebras on it. Words to your moth- some of the time they spend campaigning be er can be sent to [email protected]. used for something more productive, like maybe govern- ing? Is it a good idea to have Senators and Presidents hurl insults at each other for half of their terms instead of serving the people? Probably not. Maybe we should consider laws that restrict active cam- paigning until the final month before the election, as some When you don’t vote, it’s like letting other people make decisions for you. other countries And nobody wants that. To find out more, visit yourvotecounts.org. have. I remember in 10 Opinion October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER Vote for John Kerry now and This time around it’s not the kick the Texan out of office economy, stupid; it’s the war.

I am here today to tell you why I MIKE TIUFEKCHEIV a terrorist or support terrorists, we will kill you. think John Kerry is the man for the job, Retriever Staff Writer To me, this is the only way to defeat terrorism. admitting that a major reason for voting While it is very possible that John Kerry would Kerry is the fact that Bush is a failure. Yes, I am voting for President Bush, and I do the same, it is by no means a guarantee. See, Bush, despite his repugnant claims, did am proud of my decision. See, I was raised in a John Kerry’s positions are often muddled and NOT make every attempt to avoid war pro-military, evangelical, Republican house- contradictory. In the debates he said he would before committing troops to Iraq. We hold, so my affinity for Bush is natural. But kill Osama Bin Laden. Yet, towards the begin- are now in a war, with no end in sight, folks, being raised a certain way does not ning of the campaign he favored putting Bin no exit strategy, and no way of leaving absolve you from reason, and I thought out my Laden on trial in New York. Recently he said without serious consequences. The Bush presidential pick very carefully. To me at least, he agreed with the doctrine of preemption, administration did this to America—not al Qaeda, this one is a no-brainer. while at his own convention he said he would not Saddam Hussein, not France. George W. Bush You see, this election is a lot bigger than defend any attack with swift retribution, men- decided that his faulty evidence was a reason enough elephants and donkeys, red states and blue tioning nothing of preemption. I don’t think to go to war, and made only a half-hearted attempt states. This election is pivotal to the future of John Kerry is a bad guy, but he scares me when at gaining United Nations support. Opponents to this country. As the first presidential election I hear him put terrorism in the same boat as this rationale will argue that John Kerry has sup- since 9/11, it is naturally a very contentious prostitution and illegal gambling. When he ported and voted for the war and has stated this on and very important race. This presidential race says he wants to return to the days when we numerous occasions. This is true, but Kerry himself will determine the strategy of this nation for treated it like a nuisance. It also concerns me has admitted he was wrong (something that Bush defeating the terrorist threat over the next four when I hear he wants to put our national TREVOR BLANK hasn’t done). John Kerry was not the man that put years. Now, there are two camps in the terror- Retriever Weekly Staff an untimely end to the lives of 1,000+ U.S. soldiers. fighting business; in one camp is the group of see STORY, page 12 John Kerry did not commit our troops to an unend- people who see the world in black and white, ing conflict. moral absolutes. To them, terrorists are, by Ronald Reagan first posed the question, “Are As far as domestic policy, George W. Bush has definition, evil, and must be defeated in you better off today than you were four years ago?” been a joke. The No Child Left Behind policy has order for the world to be safe. On the This is a question that I feel many voters are forget- been a failure, both in principle and in funding. I other hand are the relativists; relativists ting to ask themselves. Are we better off? The truth am going into public education and I can tell you believe that terrorists are only terror- is that we have an economy in the dumps, rising that almost every statistic shows that standardized ists because of some external force healthcare costs, a quagmire in Iraq, threats of more tests are biased and hurt students. No Child Left beyond their control and that all peo- terrorism, lies, right-wing agendas, social security Behind gives federal aid to schools that perform well ple are naturally good and can be rea- worries, more lies, record deficits, and above all an on these tests, and punishes schools that don’t. Let’s soned with. Relativists tend to be a lit- incompetent and arrogant leader by the name of explore this logic. Take a Baltimore City school, for tle weaker in defending against terror- George W. Bush. example. Shouldn’t we be providing MORE aid to ism because they see it as a matter of Many people don’t even realize why they are low-performance schools in the hopes of helping the criminal justice. Relativists’ idea of voting the way they do. I’ve heard the argument that students? The remedy for fixing low-performing putting terrorists to justice is to put “John Kerry served us in Vietnam and will serve us schools is to literally rotate the entire faculty out of them on trial; absolutists’ idea of again as President!” C’mon, if you’re gonna support the school and start fresh. While the education law bringing terrorists to justice is the guy at least don’t steal his less-than-stellar is flawed on principle, it does have some strong to put them six feet under. taglines! Or some offer the “Vote Bush! Kerry sucks! points, particularly that teachers must be qualified The president has made Uh… he flip-flops!” battle-cry, showcasing yet in their subject areas, and giving aid helps the his position on terrorism another mentality that fell short of anything that abundantly clear: good vs. evil, could be deemed reasonable. see KERRY, page 12 with us or against us. If you are Badnarik recognizes problems Why a vote for Ralph Nader

RICH GOLDMAN Second is protection of civil liberties. If you Retriever Guest Writer thought Bush was a poor steward of is not a waste Constitutional rights, wait until you read about While there are many reasons to Kerry. Amongst other things, Kerry 1) voted for DOUGLAS MILLER vote for Michael Badnarik (www.bad- the Patriot Act, 2) wanted to restrict citizens’ Retriever Editorial Staff narik.org), the Libertarian rights to encryption that the government did not Party’s (www.lp.org) have the master key to, and 3) had no problems candidate for with law enforcement organizations abusing asset Few politicians divide democratic-minded President of the forfeiture laws (where public entities confiscate individuals as much as Ralph Nader. Inspiring United States, three private property) in order to raise money. equal parts admiration and hate, Nader is main reasons stand Michael Badnarik, on the other hand, reads and either a fearless populist or an egotistical presi- out. adheres to the Bill of Rights, whether it’s popular dential election spoiler, depending on whom First is the War on or not. If you want a president who honestly you ask. Terror. While Michael won’t institute a draft, a president who recognizes While the former consumer advocate’s Badnarik agrees with the rights of citizens to protect their personal insistence on staying in the 2004 election George W. information, a president who recognizes the rea- might be bad for the Democratic party in the Bush that son for and right to be an armed citizen, a presi- short-term, his existence is beneficial towards terrorists dent who recognizes that marriage, abortion, and the political process. Of course, Nader has a message to the major parties (particularly the are a threat education are state, not federal issues, and a absolutely no chance of winning, but casting a Democrats) that their platform does not to American President who recognizes the rights of citizens to vote from him is far from a waste. address issues like poverty to the degree that it citizens and that smoke, eat, or drink whatever they will, then First, Nader’s platform actually focuses on should. a stable Iraq can Michael Badnarik is your candidate. important civil issues such as equality, poverty, Some Democrats make statements like “a lead to a stable Third is Social Security. Whereas Kerry the environment, and the timely issue of cor- vote for Nader is a vote for Bush,” but for the Middle East, only Badnarik has the intel- wants to keep screwing younger workers with the porate crime. Meanwhile, the major parties get most part that is simply not true. Yes, if most of lectual foundations and real life experiences FICA tax and Bush wants to cut the legs off real mired in polarizing battles over things like gay Nader’s Florida supporters had voted for Gore that are needed to fight and win this war. Social Security reform and privatization, Michael marriage and abortion, or topics like the econ- during the 2000 election, we might have a dif- Michael Badnarik is not an isolationist, he is a Badnarik sees that if current and future genera- omy, most of which the president has little con- ferent president now. However, by that logic, non-interventionist, and the difference is great. tions are to have a secure retirement, we have to trol over. independent candidate Pat Buchanan “spoiled” A military under Michael Badnarik will not put allow workers to have private, personal retirement For instance, most Americans have well- up to four states for Bush during the same elec- its head in the sand; it will defend America by not accounts that 1) not only yield above 7% interest defined positions on abortion, but the country tion. getting into entangling alliances and foreign, con- as opposed to the negative or 2% interest current- is so completely polarized that it is highly Nationally, 38% of Nader’s votes in 2000 tained conflicts. Instead, Michael Badnarik will ly generated by Social Security and 2) give work- unlikely anything will change, no matter who is came from Democrats. However, 25% came focus on strengthening our national, defensive, ers actual equity and property that can be passed president. Candidates just raise such issues to from Republicans, and the rest from unaffiliat- volunteer army. Moreover, Michael Badnarik has on to future generations. Michael Badnarik rec- push buttons and rally their base. Instead of ed voters, many of which would not otherwise the intellectual foundations to promote liberty to ognizes that current “beneficiaries” of Social joining the circus, Nader takes no position on have voted. other nations. Aside from having the experience Security need to be paid for, but unlike the other most divisive social issues and instead focuses The two major parties do not want to of actually working for a living as a computer pro- candidates, is willing to sell federal lands and on things where significant change is possible. admit this, but independent candidates tend to grammer, Michael Badnarik is a published schol- reduce government spending in order to make up It is the traditional role of third parties to bring new voters into the electoral process as ar on the US Constitution. Wouldn’t it be nice the cash shortfall and end this pyramid scheme focus on a narrow range of issues and propose much as they siphon votes from major candi- having a President who not only talks about lim- once and for all. extreme solutions. The major parties then dates. During the 1992 Presidential election, ited government and rights, but who knows and Enough is enough. If you keep on voting notice this, and “co-opt” (steal and water independent candidate Ross Perot captured an can articulate why they are important to foreign the way you’ve been voting, you’ll keep on getting down) the third party’s idea and bring it to the see STORY, page 12 and developing countries? see BADNARIK, page 11 national consciousness. A vote for Nader sends THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 Opinion 11

from LETTERS, page 6 that this issue is purely opinion and belief based, one which society cannot even come to them, but please, we should all try our hardest to a majority on. As it turns out John Kerry is one keep our own personal prejudices and vendettas of those people for those of you who didn’t out of discussion. So women everywhere, love know. If you believe that life begins at concep- your body! tion then it is your right to speak to others about your belief and try to have them see it Caroline Andes your way, but you cannot make a law, which requires people to follow your belief. Making Dear Editor, such a law would go against one of the funda- I am writing to give my view on the heat- mentals this country was created on. And for ed debate of embryonic stem cell research. To those of you voting for Bush because he’s pro- say that we are killing innocent children is tak- life: do you really think he would help the ing this technology way out of context. I do countless number of new parents financially, not argue that embryos have the capacity to or by other means should abortion be illegal- become human beings, but that is where the ized? Just think about that when you are look- buck stops. Most cells are taken at the 8 cell ing at his tax cuts for the rich and personal stage where most in vitro fertilization methods, vacation rate, or when he sends our troops into stop cell division and freeze these potential war and many to their death because of humans. Since you are decaying at a very slow weapons that never existed? In the last letter to state when frozen, embryos used to create these the editor M. Benesch said pro-choice treated lines are going to be thrown out due to the people like cattle. Who is being treated like cat- time the embryo has been in this cryogenic tle though when you want to dictate your state.Embryonic stem cells and their therapeu- belief to a whole country in which half the tic use far outweigh throwing away federal people don’t even agree with you? money at developing new drugs, yes your fed- eral dollars support the development of drugs James MacGlashan like Viagra. Drugs remedy the problem, where the object of stem cell research is to cure the Dear Editor, problem forever. By not federally supporting embryonic stem cell research in the United The Electoral College is in its most basic States, we are going to be far behind other theory an undemocratic institution since it countries that are actively developing this tech- stops the direct rule of the people, then again nology. This technology will employ people isn’t the entire system of a Republic do exactly overseas instead of here in the U.S where jobs that? The very point of the United States is that are desperately needed. This technology has its a Republic. Republics themselves can range the hope of curing many childhood diseases all the way from autocracies to limited democ- like diabetes, leukemia, brain disorders and racies but to expect a Republic to exist in the heart diseases. An embryo the size of a period midst of absolute democracy is a fool’s dream on this page, that would be thrown out, has for a republic can sustain a ridgid, representa- the potential to make these diseases a thing of tive democracy, but the will of the people the past. I can not look at my three year old in absolutely free and unabounded in the govern- the eye and say we wanted long ago to fund ment of a large nation will not only be cause research that would cure your diabetes but for instability and destruction of government ideology got in the way of reason, I am sorry. but also the cause of tyrrany and absolute fail- But to advance stem cell research we need to iure. Unlike the author of last week’s “It’s gotta put our ideology aside and rely on our reason. go,” this author thinks it gotta staylike no Reason dictates that this progress should be other. When it comes down to it there is a rea- made here, so we are not once again behind son why the Federalist founding fathers won the world and so we can start making lives of the debate for the need for an Electoral our children that are suffering better. College, it is simply this; if the civil rights and liberties that the Anti-federalists wanted Valeria Pappas secured were to be had then certain institutions of the government had to be kept a moderate Dear Editor, distance from the control of the people. The people themselves are not powerless, not only Over the past few weeks I have seen a lot do they control the elections of the lawmaking on the subject of abortion in this newspaper so body of the States and that of the United States I thought I would comment. Pro-choice is not as a whole but they also control the election of about choosing whether you have the right to the electors who have the ultimate say in the kill someone. Pro-choice is about upholding election of a candidate for the Presidency. It is one of the most fundamental rights of this true that the last elections electoral college country, the freedom of belief. Lets state a very results went against the popular vote but that obvious fact: there is a huge discrepancy about was an exception in a case when the popular when people believe life begins. Given that, vote was so close that we still today are not one must recognize belief in itself is not fact sure. There is nothing wrong in a provision and in this case there are just as many people that allows for the overriding of electoral votes that do not believe life begins at conception, as if they conflict with an overwhelming majori- there are people who do. Now how can anyone ty, but to think that somehow the United say: despite the fact that 50% of the popula- States can be a Presidential Republic without tion disagrees with my opinion, there should having an Electoral College is a fallacy. Our be law saying people must follow my opinion? other choice is to simply change our sysytem to Does that sound logical or right to anyone? As the more popularParliamentary Republic, an it turns out there are people out there who do institution that some would argue is much believe life begins at conception and don’t more democratic but all would agree much think it would be right to have an abortion more fragmented too. under any circumstance, but are still pro- choice. This is because they recognize the fact Anshuman Jangi Vote Badnarik

from BADNARIK, page 10 what you’ve been getting. The point of an elec- tion is to vote for whomever you support, not who you think will win. A lesser-of-two-evils vote for either Bush or Kerry still registers as a positive vote for them. Instead, send a message this election: Vote Libertarian, Vote Michael Badnarik.

Rich Goldman is a guest writer for the Retriever. He can be reached for comment at opin- [email protected]. 12 Opinion October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER Go to: www.elections.state.md.us/ for more information on other candidates by district and name

Candidates for the U.S. House of Representatives Candidates for the United States Presidency

Candidates for the United States Senate

Nader: The spoils of 2000 back to revisit us in 2004?

from NADER, page 10 ibuster powers, let the Republican version of the Patriot Act pass, which John Kerry now Kerry for ‘04 Re-elect Bush astounding 18% of the popular vote. The sharply criticizes. The same Senators previously turnout for eligible voters is more interesting – allowed many of Bush’s ultra-conservative from KERRY, page 10 from BUSH, page 10 55% percent of them participated. The turnout appointments like John Ashcroft into office. for the 1988 election was about 50%, and then Most confusingly, most of the senate minority schools improve. Bush under-funded No Child Left defense to a “global test,” letting corrupt enti- 49% in 1996. Ross Perot may have increased voted for the Iraq resolution that gave Bush the Behind by 28 billion dollars. John Kerry intends to ties like the UN, and fair-weather friends like total voter turnout by up to 5 or 6%, which power to invade on flimsy evidence. Ten years provide the funds and further reform the program the French decide when we can defend our- completely vanished by the next election when ago, many of the same democratic Senators by creating opportunities for after-school programs, selves. I’m sorry, I want America to be respect- he did not participate. (including John Kerry) voted against the reso- and also raising teacher incomes. ed abroad just as much as John Kerry does, but Nader has little chance of getting numbers lution that allowed George H.W. Bush to Let’s sum up other key Kerry points: John not at the price of our national security. I like Perot, but his involvement is pulling new respond militarily to the Iraq invasion of Kerry also believes that healthcare should be pro- believe that John Kerry, like Bill Clinton candidates into the process. Should he pull 5% Kuwait, a far more justifiable decision. vided to all Americans ages eighteen and under. before him, would not make a bad President in of the popular vote (though he probably won’t), Perhaps Ralph Nader is just an egotistical John Kerry wants to be able to let Americans receive terms of domestic issues, but a return to the Nader would get retroactive federal campaign old man, and maybe he would make a horrible prescription drugs from Canada to lower drug costs days when terrorism was a “nuisance” and financing that would refund his expenses to a president. But that’s not the point. Nader can for seniors. John Kerry will not privatize Social treating it like a police action will get us noth- point and allow him to spread his message fur- never win. However, by supporting him, we Security, a scenario that Bush has already hinted ing but another 9/11. ther during the next election. The more votes make a statement. A vote for Nader will help that he would pursue. President Bush believes in an all-volun- Nader gets, the more viable the system becomes increase the viability of third parties for future When you’re handed the point-counterpoint teer army. He believes in fighting the terrorists for third parties. elections, and send a message to the major par- on who to vote for, bias is certain to come through. where they live, before we have to fight them It is a sign of a broken party when the ties about the issues that matter. A vote for This article has a liberal spin, just as the Green, here. He believes in a strong national defense, Democrats try to force another candidate out Nader also expresses dissatisfaction towards the Libertarian, and Republican articles will have a spin and a strong, well-funded intelligence commu- of an election for fear of losing votes. Citizens failures of the two major parties, but especially as well. This article is mainly for those students that nity. He believes we need to get rid of threats should support a party because they believe in the Democrats. are undecided, apathetic, or somewhere in between. before they hit us. Most of all, he believes in its integrity and platform, and not because of Best of all, in Maryland one can vote for Don’t take my word for it, check out www.johnker- spreading freedom and democracy around the scare tactics or coercion. Nader guilt-free. If John Kerry cannot carry ry.com. The issues are complex and this election is world. Granted, President Bush is not the best If Nader is indeed stealing significant Maryland because of votes lost to Ralph Nader, one of the most important in recent history. Go to economist, and he would probably make a numbers of votes from the Democrats, maybe then he has no hope of winning the national John Kerry’s website and read our future President’s lousy peacetime president. However, this isn’t that’s because citizens do not believe the party election. In a swing state, the temptation to take on a wide variety of issues. Decide for yourself! peacetime; we are at war, and I believe it is doing its job. George W. Bush entered office vote “Anybody but Bush” might deservedly I’ve only briefly touched on a couple issues; howev- unwise to change horses midstream, especially under referendum to a sharply divided House conquer a voter’s true values. Here in er, this race is much more open. Explore, explore, when we have no idea what the new horse will and Senate. By all common logic, he should Maryland, we are fortunate to have the choice explore. If you are undecided, that is your mission! do. have been a lame duck president. Instead, Bush to vote with our conscience. pushed through an incredibly partisan agenda Trevor Blank is a staff writer for the Retriever Mike Tiufekcheiv is a staff writer for the with seemingly little resistance from the Douglas Miller is a staff writer for the and can be reached for comment at Retriever. He can be reached for comment at Democratic Senate minority. Retriever. He can be reached for comment at [email protected]. [email protected]. The Democratic Senate minority, with fil- [email protected]. THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 Opinion 13 Yuki (top) by Abby Ingersoll Yuki’s works

YuKi age 25, senior photography & graphic design

Scholarships: CAPS/Yager Future plans: making a living through photography Likes: rock music, eeyore, honest people, thinking outside of the box Dislikes: rats, insects, being inside of the box Tse Ng 19 INSIDE 18 17 21 21 23 see WHOSE LINE, page see DECISION ‘04, page Stephanie Potter [Retriever Staff] THE RETRIEVER review Given all that, it wouldn’t be all that, it wouldn’t Given Yet unlike the presidential unlike Yet After single-handedly enough just giving you “We’re Colin Mochrie points an imaginary gun tatives invited audience members to tatives The one boy joke-telling a shot. give the circum- given that tried did well, stances, but made it painfully obvi- ous that this kind of performance not a matter of It’s all that easy. isn’t just being funny; in this kind of a matter of being smart, it’s show, quick-thinking and full of pop cul- that can be turned knowledge ture the with into jokes that resonate audience. come- shocking if the “Whose Line” a few the minutes after dians required presence on the panel servedpresence of the the role largely to interpret hotly-contest- media in this year’s elections and the ed presidential issues defining it. campaign, both the panelists and 2004” audience of “Decision for the good-natured remained duration of the two-hour discus- numer- sion, despite exchanging ous barbs. to questions on Iraq responding Professor the first half-hour, turned to the moderator Croatti I supposed to and asked, “Am keep answering?” Vaughan quipped Professor rope,” to a flurry of amused chuckles. October 26, 2004 October Stick ‘em up: at Brad Sherwood, for pretending to drink the last imaginary beer. Dawn of War Professor Corbett Professor experience working for experience working his the Associated Press, Grant Huang, was a dis- was Huang, Grant cussion of presidential politics. The rules were simple; questions were the modera- by directed a panelist. tor towards After that, the question was opened up to any and then panel member, to the audience for fol- low-ups. teaches journalism in the department; English Croatti, Professors Hody and Dr. Vaughan the political represented science department. As Corbett was once a nationally syndicated journalist with extensive Memories of onions and Idaho Memories of Running a little over an hour, a little over Running less, the or More The best part of (excluding ‘women’ as an answer), at as an answer), ‘women’ (excluding of the audience sponta- least a third there Really, neously decided on beer. is little sillier than a college audience near midterms. were the skits making up the show of each as amusing as the next. One Effects,” was “Sound my favorites which used two UMBC audience members as noise makers for a scene the audience. determined by on a spy infiltration of an Deciding accounting firm, the two audience participants got to make all kinds of of fabulous noises. Some a the better noises were a laser that bullwhip, glass, could cut through and a gay eagle. to played comedy show but an all-ages crowd, occasional were there To non-PC occurrences. be honest, the majority of the lewd or unpleasant dur- moments occurred ing the opening acts. good to Ranging from just odd, these comedi- mainly ama- ans were was some There teur. funny stuff in the open- was a ing acts, but there surprising amount of odd or unpleasant jokes them. throughout comedy show Saturday’s was that it functioned as and both a comedy show a firsthand look into the brain of a comedian. Mochrie Right before and Sherwood took the stage, two SEB represen- Photos galorePhotos 2004! for Homecoming New art students showcase emphasizes Heidi Heimsal [Retriever Staff] Anita Field [Retriever Staff] Probably what makes “Whose Probably sand people filled the RAC. The seats sand people filled the RAC. uncomfortable, the gym was were than made more hot, but the show up for all of that. Anyway?” such a successful It Line Is on reliance is its regular comedy show The same was audience members. true whose for the UMBC version, such silly audience members gave requests to the comedians’ answers they could’ve imagine that I can’t When asked for anticipated them. the name of something that would cause two male friends to fight Junior John Ellis addresses a question on the election to the panelists. Saturday’s “Whose It Line Is Saturday’s How come...?: retained some control over the over some control retained element of their come- improvisional and because they organized dy show heavily relying it. However, produced a UMBC audience def- on help from a unique, and thor- initely ensured comedy routine. oughly enjoyable, to a was brought show Anyway” audience of UMBC highly receptive students, family and friends as part of The number of Week. Homecoming people in attendance was fairly and I for a UMBC event, remarkable would estimate that at least a thou- Audience members Kaitlin Taylor and Tom Taylor “move” Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood, Taylor who are being “dummies” and Tom Audience members Kaitlin Taylor

Retriever Staff Writer SARAH PEVNER PATRICK COYLE PATRICK Retriever Staff Writer

More than 50 students and More 2004” had “Decision On a rainy night last a rainy On

There’s been a longstanding There’s argue that Colin could One

Features

16 16 ‘Decision 2004’ panel debate tackles Iraq, election issues ‘Decision 2004’ panel debate UMBC faculty visit residence evening Q&A exchange with students hall for

Moving people:

“Whose Line” comedians bring the best of improv bring the Line” comedians “Whose RAC to the SEB sparesLooking for a laugh? Mochrie and Brad Sherwood no expense to put Colin on stage Thursday, a panel of UMBC pro- a panel Thursday, in the Harbor fessors gathered to answer room multipurpose Hall questions about the political race White House. for the members of the UMBC commu- in attendance for the nity were simply the “Decision titled event, Discussion.” 2004 Panel Chris Corbett, Mark Professors and Vaughan Geoffrey Croatti, pre- answering Hody Cynthia Dr. to questions and responding pared audience members, debate-style. UMBC moderated by The event, political science major and junior debate in my house over whether or debate in my house over Anyway?” is at not “Whose It Line Is goes back to least a little scripted. It and I sixth grade, when my brother version started watching the British to be audience members and vowed that this was to our parents to prove night I comedic genius. Saturday real not scripted! learned the truth: it’s Sherwood and Brad Mochrie THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 17 Features

Photos by: Anita Field, Stephanie Potter, Matt Stockslager, and Esther You [Retriever Staff] Homecoming 2004: (from left to right) Brad Sherwood and Colin Mochrie laugh it up at the RAC, ASA dancers show off their talent, student Matt Morrison does stand up, James Dorsey IV celebrates with a victory dance, Aaron James performs a backflip at the talent show, a laser show lights up the Commons Field at the pep rally, and Brian Foster and Stephen Mallary become the only gay couple running for Homecoming court 2004. 18 Features October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER Colin and Brad keep students in stitches rying a fish stick. from WHOSE LINE, page 16 Once all this was determined, Sherwood was brought up on stage introduction of a skit to gather their thoughts. and forced to guess. The audience What audience members saw on Saturday is was asked to cheer whenever he got that these particular comedians don’t take that close to a right answer. Not only time. Not only could I finally settle a long-lived was it amazing to watch Sherwood Pevner debate, I was also left even more envious guess these totally ridiculous things, of the abilities of these two men. it was also incredible to watch Two skits serve as the best examples of the Mochrie feed him the necessary quick-wit of Mochrie and Sherwood. The first clues. For example, for “Guam”, was a rap song about an audience member. The Sherwood was told to say “warm” man that they pulled out was probably a par- the way a person would after ent, a policeman at the University of Baltimore, removing the pirate parts (the “ar”) and a farmer. On his farm, he had chickens, out of the word. The whole show horses, and a goat whose name he didn’t want was clever and funny and lighten- to tell the audience. His assigned rap name was ing paced. “MC John”, and out of all of this, Mochrie and What made the “Whose Line Sherwood did a full-length credible rap song Is It Anyway?” show so much fun without any pauses in between gathering all of was really the audience. Everyone this information and starting the music. seemed to be having a genuinely The last skit, “Detective”, was not one I’d silly time, and I think silliness is ever seen on “Whose Line”, probably because something that we, as a very serious it’s too time consuming. After sending university, need to indulge in more Sherwood off-stage, Mochrie asked the audi- regularly. It was also kind of touch- ence, piece by piece, to name the crime for ing to see how many families were which Sherwood would be the suspect. He at the show, and how many college asked the audience to “think outside of what is students had donated a Saturday normally considered moral” and come up with night to seeing a goofy comedy the most outrageous ideas possible. show with their parents and their Clearly, UMBC is a school that excels in little brothers. This was definitely outrageous ideas. The crime the audience came one of the most enjoyable events up with is as follows: wearing a crocheted I’ve been to at UMBC. thong, a tutu and one mauve sock, Sherwood slipped on a banana peel, fell on the President Sarah Pevner is a staff writer for of Guam, and ate a possum in Machu Picchu at the Retriever. You may reach her at Matt Stockslager [Retriever Staff] the Chic-Fill-A and Chinese laundry while car- [email protected] Truffle hunting: Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood go after some imaginary French truffles; the audience loved it.

Write for the Retriever GET CA$H x5-1260 THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 Features 19 Professors debate war on terror, tax cuts Horoscopes

from DECISION ’04, page 16 by Kristina DeBold and Jami Sapia Disclaimer from Kristina and Jami: Like the presidential race, much of the In case you were questioning these horoscopes ... YES, focus was on the Middle East, with Croatti WE ARE PSYCHIC. THESE HOROSCOPES ARE REAL; fielding the bulk of the questions. He estab- LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDINGLY. lished early and defended his position that (March 21 - April 20) the 9/11 attacks were the result of Aries American bases stationed in the Muslim holy land of Saudi Arabia, an utter outrage Sexiness may cause geriatric patients to to religiously-driven Islamic fundamental- go into cardiac arrest. ists like Osama Bin Laden. Further, he asserted that establishing those bases was a Taurus (April 21 - May 21) major policy error, one that the Bush administration decided to resolve by remov- Grab the ball and chain.. and ing the reason for their establishment – decoupage?? Get yourself a perfectly ironed Saddam Hussein. The bases functioned to set of black and white striped clothes and go enforce the U.S. no-fly zone that protected as Martha Stewart. Kuwait and Saudi Arabia from Iraqi aggres- sion. With Hussein out of power, the no-fly Gemini (May 22 - June 21) zone was no longer necessary, meaning that the Saudi Arabian bases could be disman- We see booty in your future, and lots tled and our troops withdrawn from the of it - The oracle tells us that you will be a Muslim holy land. This would then remove pirate this Halloween... Bin Laden’s rationale for a jihad or holy war against America. Cancer (June 22 - July 23) Unfortunately, according to Croatti, Iraq turned into a quagmire, leaving our Heidi Heimsal [Retriever Staff] The crystal ball says that you need to troops stuck there and thus giving Bin Master debators: Political Science department chair Cynthia Hody answers a student’s question about remember where you came from. Therefore, Laden a fresh reason to continue his jihad. the war on terror while Professor Mark Croatti looks on. dress up and dance it up as an 80's burn out Vaughan, who teaches political philos- for Halloween! Sex, drugs, and rock and roll!! ophy, offered a more conservative view and other panelists, offered answers based solid- already made up their minds, as evidenced provided sharp, often humorous departures ly on political theory. When asked what the by their questions. One of the better Leo (July 24 - Aug. 23) from the other panelists with surprising best way to run the “War on Terror” was exchanges came towards the end of the answers. and which candidate would do it better, debate, when Corbett was asked about the Squeeze yourself into the tightest catsuit Asked if the ‘Bush Doctrine’ of pre- Hody’s answer was more academic than bitter division between the Bush and Kerry you can find. That's right, our sources say emptive warfare was a good idea given the opinionated. factions in America and the possibility of you'll make the purr-fect catwoman. Meow! current state of world affairs, Vaughan said “It is ironic that in conducting a war more bloodshed in foreign involvements or “Sure.” on terror … we must sacrifice little except even another American civil war. Virgo (Aug. 24 - Sep. 23) He paused dramatically for effect and civil liberties,” she said. She then explained “I don’t know about that,” Corbett the audience dissolved into laughter before that in her view, the best way to run the war replied. “But it is very easy to get the chil- Go buck wild! It is time to throw on those chaps he explaining his reasoning – that preemp- on terror is to beef up intelligence, a meas- dren of the working class killed,” he said, and cowboy hat. We reckon you'll have a blast. And tive strikes were the answer to stopping ure she believes both candidates are capable referring to the current war in Iraq and remember, don't call me a cowboy till you see me ride! other contemporary military deployments, such as Somalia or Vietnam. He said that it was unfortunate that Bush did not attend Libra (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23) the funerals of a single soldier killed in the current Iraq conflict. The student then Grab your best Aries gal pal and dress up as a nurse. asked rhetorically how many funerals Libras are all about balance and two HOT nurses is way President Lyndon B. Johnson attended dur- better than one! No Aries pals? Dress up as Ms. Awesome ing Vietnam, to which Corbett replied herself, Paris Hilton. Get your friends to dress up as “Well, LBJ chose not to run for reelection.” paparazzi and take your picture all night. When people The panelists seemed pleased with the come up to talk to you look annoyed and tell them to exchange, as everything ran smoothly until consult to your agent.. Libras are meant to be the center just after 10 p.m., when the student moder- of attention! ator, Grant Huang, ended the debate. “I think you owe yourselves a hand for Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) being open-minded enough and for caring enough about the issues to come here,” In a bind and need a quick costume? Huang said to the audience. “These people Raid your roommate's closet and go as [the panelists] certainly haven’t wasted their them. This works best if your roommate is time here tonight.” Huang, a resident assis- not there. tant in Harbor Hall, was also quick to thank his fellow RA’s for helping organize Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21) the event, crediting them with everything from getting out the word to reviewing his SNAP, CRACKLE, POP! Rice questions to setting up the tables and chairs crispies? No. That would be the soundof in the room. flames shooting up as you stamp you Afterwards, the panelists and many cloven hoof and punish the unruly! You

Heidi Heimsal [Retriever Staff] students lingered. When asked afterwards sly devil you... To quote Nelly, "It's get- A European perspective: Professor Geoffrey Vaughan, political philosophy instructor and Oxford graduate, whether he thought his words had influ- tin' hot in here!" explains why preemptive strikes are an option that the President should never take “off the table” as enced potentially undecided voters, Croatti Professor Christopher Corbett ponders the implications. shook his head. “If they want more infor- Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20) mation, we’ll give it to them,” he said. “But faceless terrorists from launching surprise of doing, taking care to note that the intel- we’re not out to influence; that’s not our Is that a gun digging into my hip, or are attacks. ligence community’s failures cannot be job here.” you just happy to see me? You shall be a cop- “You don’t ever want to take preemp- blamed entirely on President Bush. Dr. Hody agreed with him, adding also The crystal ball does not lie.. Now spread em. tive strikes off the table,” he asserted. Ultimately, she said that she agreed with that she appreciated the high level of audi- Also humorous were his comments on Kerry’s often misquoted position that he ence participation and thought the ques- Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19) racial profiling being used in the name of would like to see terrorism reduced to “a tions were excellent. homeland security. nuisance.” Overall, “Decision 2004” involved nei- Take a lesson from the Mean Girls. “I’m a foreign national,” said Vaughan, Towards the end of the night, it was ther the ‘he said, she said’ mud-slinging, Halloween is the one holiday you can dress an Oxford graduate who hails from the UK. Professor Croatti that got the biggest laugh. nor the unspoken bitterness that character- up as slutty as you want and no one can say “I mean, I have blond hair, blue eyes ... pull When asked what four more years of Bush ized the presidential debates. Much to the anything. So grab that lingerie and some me in, I’m almost a skinhead.” would mean, he replied that it meant he relief of participants, it was simply a solid animal ears and you will be good to go par- Vaughan suggested that racial profiling could teach four more years of classes on academic exchange. tay! You'll look so fetch! is imperfect, and that any profiling should the Middle East. “If Bush invades Iran, I “It was a very good forum,” comment- be done based on nation of origin, though might get tenure,” he joked, and the audi- ed audience member Samuel John, a junior even then he acknowledged that profiling ence roared. “But it breaks my heart to see majoring in political science. “It was not Pisces (Feb. 20 - Mar. 20) only works as a “super-blunt” instrument. what’s going in Iraq,” he concluded more left wanting.” “In a way, you’ll have to look at everyone soberly. Have you been staying up late studying anyways,” he said. Fortunately for the panelists, it Patrick Coyle is a staff writer for the Retriever. for exams all this week? Roll with the dark cir- Dr. Hody, though less vocal than the seemed that most audience members had You may reach him at [email protected]. cles under your eyes and go as a zombie. 20 Features October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER AROUND Beginning [October 27] Events Happening Throughout Incidentally... the Greater Baltimore-Washington Area TOWN Events Happening On and Around the UMBC Campus Beginning [October 26] Wednesday, October 27 School, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, is back in One Word: ouch! full swing, so it’s Homecoming Season, peo- Just thinking about this band’s name makes ple. What better way to show your school Beginner Swing and Waltz Workshop some hot music by Fooling April on Friday, me cringe: the Genitorturers. They certain- spirit that to attend the 93.9 WKYS Tuesday, October 26 October 29 at 9pm in the Commons Cabaret. ly know how to spice up an evening, with Homecoming Gala, which appropriately 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. For more information, contact Eric Grollman their S & M-style thrashfests. They’ve been features Mr. Unlikely Comeback himself, Location: UC Ballroom. Price: Only $4! No at [email protected]. called “White Zombie fronted by (‘Price Is Mase, and those soulful slow jam homeboys Experience or Partner Required, everyone wel- Right’ hostess/model) Emma Noble with we all know and love, New Edition. It’s all come! Come expand your cultural horizons 80’s Dance Party nipple clamps”; if that isn’t enough to get scheduled to go down at the Hyatt Regency and meet some new people! Questions? E- Friday, October 29 your ass in a front row seat, I don’t know Capital Hill in Washington D.C. TM* mail Erin at [email protected] or visit 9 p.m. - 12 a.m. what is. Anyway, genuine metal music will http://sta.umbc.edu/orgs/ballroom. I love the 80’s! I love it so much, I’m going to be tonight’s offering by these ballbusters, so have an 80’s Dance Party this Friday, October look for them headlining at Thunderdome Halloween Special Events Live Music - Sylvie Lewis 29 from 9-midnight in the Sports Zone. in Baltimore at 7 o’clock. TM* Since Halloween falls on a Sunday this year, Wednesday, October 27 Come in your hottest 80’s costume for free many venues are hosting extra-spooky spe- 1 p.m. - 2 p.m. entry. For more information, contact Eric BYOB cial shows on Saturday, for a little Come jam to some hot music this Wednesday, Grollman at [email protected]. Sometimes you hear about a band trying to Halloween-eve fun: during Free Hour in the Sports Zone. For get publicity by choosing an eye-catching Maryland SPCA , 3300 Falls Road, more information, contact Eric Grollman at Festivus Acappellius Acappella Music Festival name (see above), but how about this one: Baltimore: Howl-o-Ween Hop - Costume [email protected]. Saturday, October 30 Beerzone! Yep, all you thirsty 21-plussers party with a silent auction, food, a full bar, 7 p.m. - 11 p.m. will want to grab a pint and throw it back, and live music; benefits the Maryland “Honoring Our Voices” (Film Viewing in Festivus Acappellius, on October 30th, brings tonight at Jaxx Nightclub at 7:30. OK, I’ll SPCA of Baltimore City’s programs for pets Recognition of Domestic Violence acappella music from all over the east coast fess up, the band doesn’t really, as far as I and people. – 7 to 11 p.m. (410) 889-9331 Awareness Month) together for one night. The UMBC Mama’s know, hand out alcohol on stage… we can Wednesday, October 27 Boys Acappella has organized this event with dream, can’t we? Anyway, the “fun-punk” Baltimore Maritime Museum, Pier 3, East Running Time: 33 mins the help of SGA, SEB, CSA, RSA, FYC, and band’s show is all the way down in in Pratt St. Baltimore: Haunted Ship The US Showing throughout the day (go to the calen- many others. Groups will be coming from Springfield, VA, so you’ll definitely want to Coast Guard Cutter Taney becomes a ghost dar at www.umbc.edu/womenscenter for start College Park, St. Mary’s College of MD, Johns bring a designated driver for the ride back. ship for Halloween. (410) 396-3453 times) Sharing their stories about recovery and Hopkins, Delaware, and many others. The TM* healing, six Native women of different ages UMBC Mama’s Boys will be singing through- The following are all TM*: and backgrounds talk about the choices they out the night and want everyone to come. Thursday, October 28 Recher Theatre, Towson: All Mighty have made to overcome the hardships of fam- There are only 600 seats, so make sure you get Word Up Senators and Jimmie’s Chicken Shack - ily violence and end the cycle of abuse and there early. Wear a costume and be entered Tonight, it’s your chance to check out the Halloween Masquerade - 8 p.m. silence. Through the far-reaching changes in into a raffle to win some great prizes. Also, urban bards who make up Russell The Vault, Baltimore: Halloween Bash their lives, they reveal the rewards of empow- bring your trick or treat bags because Simmons’ Def Poetry Jam. They’re tripping 2004 - 8 p.m. ering themselves and their families, as well as Halloween candy will be given out as well. Get the spoken word fantastic this evening the strengths of counseling based in Native ready for a great time! For more information, beginning at 8 o’clock at the France- Funk Box, Baltimore: Pimp & Ho Party healing strategies and traditions. Directed by contact Jordan Hadfield at [email protected]. Merrick Performing Arts Center Feat. Porter, Batiste and Stoltz & Judi Jeffrey (Metis) and produced by the Hippodrome. Not only do you get to Mountains of Venus - 8 p.m. Native Counselling Services of Alberta, this Halloween Open Pool Tournament indulge in the fantastic rhyme stylin’ thought-provoking documentary is a valuable Sunday, October 31 tonight, but tomorrow and Saturday as well. Comedy Connection, Laurel: Halloween tool for education, prevention and interven- 2 p.m. - 5 p.m. Baltimore is the town / so bring some Comedy Extravaganza Feat. Tony Woods tion. For more information, contact Mikhel Spend your Halloween day testing your pool money with which to pay / or else you’ll and Kareem Green “Jokes On US” – 8:30 Kushner at [email protected]. skills against your fellow students in an 8 ball wear a frown / and that’s all I have to say. p.m. tournament at The Commons Game Room. TM* Women’s Soccer vs. Northeastern All skill levels are welcome to participate. State Theatre, Falls Church, VA: Party DC Thursday, October 28 Registration is free to participants. Please reg- Friday, October 29 Fright Night * Fighting Gravity – 9 p.m. 3 p.m. - 5 p.m. ister at The Commons Game Room by Warts and All UMBC Soccer Stadium. Students free with Thursday, October 28. For more information, It’s a jam band extravaganza tonight at the American Idiots ID. www.umbcretrievers.com. For more contact Kyle Carter at [email protected]. D.A.R. Constitution Hall, as one of those Dating back to the early 90s, one band has information, contact Maria Reyes at traveling roadshow type groups is making defined and redefined American punk pop. [email protected]. Stop Media Conglomerates! their stop in D.C., attracting fans like Love ‘em or hate ‘em, it’s Green Day, at the Friday, October 29 moths to the sugar-coated flame. Right, Patriot Center in Fairfax, VA, with New Golden Harvest Fun Fest 7 p.m. metaphors aren’t my thing today. Anyway, Found Glory, starting at 7:30 p.m. TM* Friday, October 29 Come to the Harbor Hall Cafe and watch the the band is called moe. And they rock, 1 p.m. - 3 p.m. documentary, “Going Upriver,” which dis- superjam marathon style. It begins at 8, and *TM = Ticketmaster: (410) 481-SEAT; Come join us for some cider and some fun. cusses John Kerry’s military record. The film if luck prevails, will continue on until way www.ticketmaster.com There will be mask making, gift bags, and a will be screened in response to Sinclair early in the morning. TM* raffle. Location The Commons Main Street. Broadcasting’s attempt to air the “stolen Got an upcoming area event? For more information, contact Kimberly honor” propaganda film without giving air- Saturday, October 30 Email [email protected] (min. 2 weeks Barteau at [email protected]. time for another point of view. Afterwards will Welcome Back notice). be discussion about the film and media con- Live Band - Fooling April solidation. Friday, October 29 9 p.m. - 11 p.m. Got an upcoming event? Email Liz Alcott at Whew! The week is finally over. Come jam to [email protected]. The Pub: UMBC’s new student watering hole

A quiet Saturday night on October 23rd employees, two others were students who found me restless from having taken the were diligently studying, and I was the fifth GRE (Graduate Record Exam, for those of person. After flashing my driver’s license at you who aren’t familiar with the death knell Desiree Awofolu, an employee, I asked her a Write of those three letters), and in need of some few questions about the Pub–namely some- sort of respite. I wandered over to the sort- thing along the lines of “Do you guys serve of-new Pub, located in the Cabaret, expect- cocktails?” “Oh, no,” she replied, “We offer for Features... ing to have a couple of martinis and conduct four types of beer on tap and some wine an interview. [white zinfandel, merlot, and Chardonnay]. Boy, was I in for a surprise. Didn’t you know that cocktails are actually The gaudy purple, yellow, and green worse for you than other types of alcohol?” walls, which were decorated with musical My face reddened as I managed a murmured instruments and framed photos of jazz musi- reply, “They’re not so bad if you only have ...get free stuff cians, created a cheerful drinking atmos- them once in a while.” phere. Unfortunately, there were only about x51260 five people in the Pub: Two of them were - Darla Mercado THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 Features 21 All Arts Salon gives college artists a chance to shine

DARLA MERCADO that we’re adults and that we’re responsible Retriever Staff Writer for our lives. The presentations following Carly’s per- After attending the All Arts Salon formance were those of Jeff Jordan and Joe Showcase on Friday, October 22, I was left Crockett. Jeff, who wasn’t present for the feeling the incredible urge to create. It’s too salon, had prepared a short comedy movie bad I lack the talent to do so: I ended up called “Wait a Minute,” which was filmed aimlessly writing in my journal for several right here on our campus. After a few laughs hours after the event. at “Wait a Minute,” Joe presented his short Dr. Anna Rubin, director of the Linehan films, “In Print,” “Noir,” and “Baking Life.” Artist Scholars Program, led about twelve of “In Print” was particularly interesting, for it her blossoming artists, all members of the used black and white animated text to put prestigious program, in their exhibition of together a short movie: For example, it fea- the work they have been creating. The schol- tured landscapes and animals made entirely ars ran the gamut in terms of media: Film, of letters and numbers. “Baking Life,” which dance, photography, painting, music, and he designed in England at the Birmingham poetry in its spoken form were all represent- Institute of Art and Design, featured two ani- ed. mated characters talking to each other, one of Carly Engelke opened the show with her which was smoking up (yes, that kind of dance, “Stay Eighteen Forever,” which smoking up). As that one character smoked, seemed interpretive in the fact that her the objects featured in the film (which were motions corresponded with the lyrics of the animated) appeared to be breathing and similarly-named song she danced to. She said bouncing. Joe explained, “It’s a parody of that she performed it in her last year of high waking life. I’ve been interested in making school, and described the dancing process as things appear three-dimensional when they being “like improv but not really. It’s totally really aren’t.” set, but I change it a little each time I per- Liz Armour, a theater major specializing form it.” I didn’t know what to expect from in light and sound presentations, had an her dance before I saw it, yet I can say that it interesting work of art entitled “Tell Me somehow reminded me of those tumultuous about Your Morning.” She explained, “What teenage years. Another nostalgic work was I was going for were the thoughts that drift that of Zack Vineblum, who is new to the in your head when you wake up.” The Linehan Artists Scholars Program. He read sounds co his poem, “Reality Crisis,” which demon- strated that moment of horror and disen- Darla Mercado is a staff writer for the chantment we all experience when we realize Retriever. You may reach her at [email protected].

The pictures featured in last week’s concert review, Guitar-heavy rock fuels Cabarat show, were taken by Joshua Lottich, not Sarah Pevner. We Stephanie Potter [Retriever Staff] apologize for the error. UMBC royalty: Homecoming King and Queen King James Dorsey IV and Becky Reyno pose for a photo after a narrow, one-vote triumph over theother couples who ran.

GAME REviEws by Kyle Mahaney Dawn of War: Can’t we all just get along? How the good You command your army by controlling Chaos (“demon” versions of Space Marines folks at Relic squads, not individual soldiers. You can that hate flowers, cute puppies and existence) Entertainment upgrade and retrain (yes, RETRAIN) your and the marauding Orks (big green muscle chose the name units in the field, making suicide charges a dudes that carry guns). In this universe, con- Dawn of Warfor the thing of the past. The game pulls this off so sider the simple, straightforward Orks the latest application of gracefully you’ll wonder why no one ever did bright shining center of the universe. the Warhammer this before. Designed to kill, they love war, and are the 40K license is Finally they’ve done away with the only beings that ever express joy at any point beyond me. The impractical method of resource collection in the game. war seems to have common in other RTS games. No longer will The fact that this game is a tie-in to a been going on for you have to worry about your harvesters or whole subculture of tabletop model games several millennia at farmers or whatever being attacked behind may scare many people away. They might Relic Entertainment this point, judging your back. Instead, you take control of “com- believe that playing this game somehow War is hell: There aren’t from the ruined mand points” that are scattered throughout taints them with a certain degree of geekdom many friendly faces in planets, militarily the map; each one is a little piece of territory that they would rather not experience. Or Relic’s newest RTS. Courtesy of Relic Entertainment stratified societies that gives you more capital to spend. maybe they’ll be intimidated by the unfamil- Gory glory: A ‘Dreadnaught’ robot dispatches and complete lack In addition to being less cumbersome iar Warhammer 40K universe, thinking that an unfortunate Ork soldier with its metal claws. of any religion except a sort of amalgamation than the older systems, these “command they’ll have to become enmeshed in the vari- of the combat philosophies of Sun Tzu and points” necessitate you being constantly on ous tabletop game versions, rulebooks, nov- George S. Patton that the soldiers have the offensive, making the game mobile and els, etc. in order to understand the plot. adopted. exciting. Gone are the days of stockpiling It’s sad, really. Personally, I have never Maybe “Dawn” refers to the fact that resources and consolidating units for the first touched the tabletop game and barely heard this is Relic’s first shot with the license and twenty tedious minutes of gameplay. Now it’s of it before Dawn of Warcame along. And you they’re feeling ironically optimistic about this all about the cult of the offensive. know what I did? I took a chance, I read the depressing series. And from the looks of As stated before, this is a game from the back of the box, I put the disc in my PC, and things, they have every right to emanate with Warhammer 40K Universe. If you don’t I sat back and enjoyed a fantastic game. I the warm squishy glow of success. know what Warhammer 40K is all about, would hate to think that others might miss Let’s get down to brass tacks: in terms of think Star Wars run by nihilists. Everything is out on that because they can’t stand a little graphic splendor, Dawn of Waroffers more depressing and futile, on the grandest scale label. than any RTS in the past. You can zoom right imaginable – it’s hard to see any of the game’s So go ahead and give it a try. This might into the nostrils of your soldiers and you’ll factions as good guys, and harder still to find be your last chance for a lesser-known title still be impressed with the modeling. Effects a single friendly face. before the Christmas flood hits you. You are well executed and maps don’t disappoint You have your choice of playing one of know you’ve got forty bucks just lying visually, especially the burnt-out cities, four factions: The distrustful Eldar (aloof, around. Go to a retail store and get a copy of Courtesy of Relic Entertainment though they seem mazelike at times (most telepathic aliens) the overzealous Space Dawn of War. It’s worth it just to see big Visual splendor: Relic’s superb new graphics RTS games with city maps have the same Marines (religiously driven humans fanatical- Space Marine robots dismember Orks with engine depicts a squad of Space Marines lay- problem). ly loyal to their Emperor) the dank forces of their mechanical arms. ing down cover fire for their comrades. 22 Features October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER

By Noah Albro O experience Music review corner the BS >> COLLEGE NIGHT at the BSO The Best Music in Town. One Awesome Party. And a Few Hundred New Friends. Yours for $10! Hard rock and rockin’ reggae

Nonpoint’s back with music Phantom of you can jump around to and not feel stupid

Nonpoint:Recoil THE OPERA (in stores now) Friday, October 29, 8 pm JACK EVERLY, conductor This album is a hard-rocking trip from by Goldman are fresh and really place enor- The 1925 film favorite is brought to life by the BSO. start to finish. Nonpoint snugly fits in with mous power behind the songs. Arrive in your best disguise for our costume contest! the hard rock stylings of bands like On songs like “Broken Bones,” Sevendust, Blindside, and Breaking Goldman does a remarkable job of hopping $10 STUDENT TICKETS with valid ID Benjamin. Nonpoint successfully inter- into the driver’s seat and taking the listener twines amazing vocal harmonies with fast- on an awesome ride. The bass throughout paced guitar, bass and drum riffs while still this album (played by KB) pumps the listen- FREE POST-CONCERT PARTY – JUST FOR STUDENTS! keeping a solid raw feeling behind their er onto another floor of the “hard rock ENTER TO WIN music. house.” The drums and percussion done by Lead singer Elias Soriano does a fantas- Robb Rivera are done in the typical hard TICKETS AND MORE tic job at punching the vocals where they rock fashion, but he manages to add a little Partyat theBSO! INCREDIBLE PRIZES! belong (serious vocals on the song “The more flair to his riffs than most drummers of Same”) and pulling back into a more melod- his genre. The band branches out on the FREE FOOD from Trader Joe’s, Fells Point Popcorn, and Phillips * ic singing style when the song requires it of song “Rabia” (rage in Spanish), a hard rock- * MIX & MINGLE with BSO Musicians, friends and people you’re just College Night Sponsors: destined to meet him (amazing accenting of his vocal capabil- ing song sung entirely in Spanish. I was actu- ities in the song “Past It All”). The harmonies ally impressed with this album a great deal $1 BEERS for students with photo ID (21 or older) * that he and fellow band mate Andrew more than I thought I would have been. I Goldman (guitar and backing vocals) create recommend this to Nonpoint fans and fans JOSEPH MEYERHOFF SYMPHONY HALL, an awesome vocal pair. The guitar riffs done of hard rock in general. CATHEDRAL AND PRESTON STREETS, BALTIMORE 410.783.8000 TICKET OFFICE HOURS: MONDAY-FRIDAY 10 AM - 6 PM www.baltimoresymphony.com/collegenight SATURDAY-SUNDAY NOON - 5 PM

Reggae and rock combined ... The This could either be really cool or really stupid

Skindred:Babylon BSO (in stores now) Student

I think I’m going to suggest just lis- their last names) does a remarkable job of Pass. tening to this album before you run out mixing the classic reggae bass riffs with the and buy it. Now this is NOT to say that I newer rock sound; he reminds the listener didn’t enjoy the album, but it just seems that there is actually a little bit of reggae like one of those genre mixes that you are still mixed in to the rock. The drums 5 Concerts For Only $25. either going like a great deal or, conversely, played by Dirty Arya are on point; he you are really going to hate a great deal. mixes up the beats and keeps the listener’s Reggae and hard rock…I shudder to think ear engaged. The breaks and pops he incor- of what Bob Marley would say if he were porates give the music a good rhythmic Build your own subscription, with us now (rest in peace, Bob). flow. or choose as you go. I’m really torn over this CD, in the Now I come to the part that makes regards that some songs sound absolutely me sad…the vocals on the album. Lead sick and the actual music on this album is singer Benji Webbe sounds like Jonathan Some of this season’s offerings include: incredibly done, but then the vocals just Davis from Korn one second, a bad white kind of piss me off (not even on all the rapper next, a really poor excuse for a reg- .Shakespeare in Love songs, though). Back to the music: the riffs gae singer the next, and a to a moderately .The Phantom of the Opera Goes Pops! are inventive and the whole album is pro- good one the next. Songs like “Nobody” .Olivia Newton-John duced very well. Guitarist Mickey Demus and their title song “Babylon” really ruin .The Art of Seduction is good, that’s plain and simple; he writes the whole mood for me. On the other .Soulful Symphony amazing music and I was actually hand, I loved songs like “Pressure” and .Amadeus! with Bobby McFerrin impressed that he wasn’t just another pseu- “Tears.” Honestly, I had a really hard time do rocker with an interesting gimmick try- determining whether to recommend this ing to half-ass the guitar parts. I totally album or to burn it instead. I think that vibed to the bass lines in this album as well. you as the listener should make the call. Dan (I love when they don’t tell you Rock out either way!

Call Today. 410-783-8000 www.baltimoresymphony.com For great faculty discounts visit: baltimoresymphony.org/faculty THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 Features 23 24 Features October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER

photo: David Leac

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Precipitative Prose this week: an exercise in preparatory free writing Kaidye Hansen A passing whiff of wild onions caught my brain today, and I spent the next 20 minutes thinking about sum- mers in Idaho. Hiking in Hell’s Half Acre, reaching up over a ledge and mashing a handful of sweetly pungent onion grass against the rough lava rock while pulling myself up the incline. Later, sitting in the hot sun and idly poking at half of a snake skin with my foot as a friend shrieked each time it rattled, I take a bite of my hard salami trail sandwich and the onion taste from my fingers mingles with the dirt and with the food as I chew, loving life. Afternoon wanes on and we finish the ten-mile circuit, the sky darkening in anticipation of the usual afternoon heat storm, lightning crackling across the plain. Thunder rolls in just as the rain starts, huge fat drops throwing up dust from the baked earth beneath our feet. We run for the car and are a muddy shiv- ering mess by the time we reach it, strip- ping. By the time we reach the highway, the storm is rolling on, leaving the moss on the lava rocks temporarily green and vibrant. On hot bored days I would water our house, it was a blue clapboard ranch style house with a rather unique styling of lava rock from ground level up to the windows, which we later carried into raised flower beds and landscaping abut- ting the house. A particular type of moss spore would catch in the rock and grow, but usually lied relatively dormant and brown. I would take the hose out and spray it all down, enjoying the look of the intense green against the oranges of the other lichens living on the gray black of the porous lava rock. Halfway through the domestic water- ing I would usually turn my mind to the canal down the road, and a few phone calls later my friends and I would be on our bikes on our way to meet up at the are of the canal that we had widened and removed the rocks from. it was right before during and after the canal passed under the road. We would try successive- ly higher jumps and harder to execute flips off of the rope swing hanging from the tree on the bank of the canal. Sometimes we would walk a bit up the canal bank into the farmland and then float down with the current, through the thick snake grass and rushes. My last summer there a boy died from swimming in the canal, apparently a pesticide chemically altered amoeba swum up his nose and throttled his brain. That fall we abandoned the old swimming hole to rush the rapids of another canal just as it dashed the mile or so underneath the airport tarmac. On occasion someone would fail to get out of the water before it entered the culvert, and we would race on our bikes to the other end to meet them as they came out, laughing at their themselves - but also unadmittedly shaken - having cheat- ed the death that waits in the canal waters. There’s so much that a whiff of wild onion can bring back. Kaidye is the Editor In Chief of the Answers Next Week! Retriever. She can be reached at [email protected]. Her NaNoWriMo progress can be tracked and mocked at: http://www.nanowrimo.org/userin- fo.php?uid=47308. 26 Features October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 27

Volleyball loses against conference competition28 Steve Levy talks about his life28 Sports Powell Cucchiella is AOTW28 Dawgs protect their house, shutout Northeastern on Homecoming This Week in Sports

“I knew it was coming. Coach said to be there and be patient in the sec- Men’s soccer ond half.” The men have two games scheduled this week. On Wednesday, they are looking to “The [Northeastern] remain undefeated at home when they play players tried to close Howard University at 2 p.m. at the UMBC down on me, so I soccer stadium. Later this week, on Saturday, knocked the ball over the team will travel to Boston for some con- their heads,” said Watson ference competition. of the circus play. “When I got to the corner, I Women’s soccer couldn’t make it past their Only two more games are scheduled for the defenders so I crossed the ladies in their regular season, both against ball to George.” America East opponents. On Thursday Cucchiella, named Northeastern will take on the Retrievers here last week’s Am East co- at UMBC at 3 p.m. Two days later, the lady Player of the Week, is tied Dawgs will host Boston University on with Watson for the team Saturday at 1 p.m. lead with 9 assists on the Swimming and diving season. The men’s and women’s squads will travel to The Dawgs added the Navel Academy this Friday. The men will an insurance goal almost take on Navy at 4 p.m. while the women 20 minutes later, when jump in the pool at 6.30 p.m. Mark Finizio [Retriever Staff] Cucchiella scored on a Coming home: The men remain undefeated in home games this year. trick play from 5 yards Field hockey out. After senior Derek On Friday, the ladies will host and play their AMIT CHAND “We’re more of a second half McElligott touched in the ball off a last game of the season. At 5 p.m. UMBC will welcome Drexel to the UMBC stadium. Retriever Staff Writer team,” said junior Powell Cucchiella. corner kick, Watson went in the box “Teams know that, but coach got on with the ball and cross passed it to us at halftime to get it together and junior Marcus Gross who finally Volleyball The men’s soccer team contin- we picked it up from there.” guided it to Cucchiella for the second Three home games are scheduled for this ued their winning ways at home with “We had our chances in the first and final goal of the game. week. The team will face-off against three a blanking of Northeastern on half but didn’t take advantage of “We tried to work the ball Am East teams. First off is Stony Brook on Tuesday at 7 p.m., next up Maine on Friday Saturday, 2-0. Matt Watson, last them,” added senior George around to the wing and get the cen- also at 7 p.m. and New Hampshire will round week’s Am East co-Rookie of the Bakoulas. ters in,” said head coach Pete Caringi out the week on Saturday at the RAC, also at Week, had two dazzling assists on the Bakoulas drew first blood at the of the team’s halftime adjustments. 7 p.m. day to help the Retrievers remain 48:21 mark. Watson fed a cross pass The Retrievers’ next game will undefeated in six games at the Soccer to Bakoulas in the box after stealing a be at home against the Howard Bison Cross Country Stadium this season. The Northeastern pass and driving the ball on Wednesday at 2 p.m. The Dawgs The men’s and women’s teams will take a Homecoming victory gives UMBC down the right line, juggling the ball have two conference games remaining long drive to New Hampshire to compete in (7-5-2, 3-4-0) sole possession of sixth in the air to avoid defenders in the and will need to hold on to their cur- the America East conference championship place in the conference, with only the corner. Bakoulas found the back of rent sixth spot in the Am East in on Saturday, October 30. top six teams making the Am East the net from 8-yards out. order to make the conference tourna- tournament. “I went to the near post as Matt ment. Neither team got off to a good ran down the field, and the way he Amit Chand is a staff writer for start as they went scoreless in the crossed the ball, I felt I could put it The Retriever. He can be reached at opening half. away with one shot,” said Bakoulas. [email protected]. Field Hockey edged by New Hampshire in conference game

ASTRID SPERLING half New Hampshire scored once Retriever Editorial Staff again, leaving the Dawgs seemingly without a chance. However, the The UMBC field hockey ladies ladies started a mad comeback. only had one game last week, but Kristin Ramsay was the first failed to deliver a win against Retriever to find her way past the America East conference foe New Wildcats net-minder. Kristi Troster Hampshire, losing 4-5. The and Julie Moore followed her exam- Retrievers are now at the bottom of ple, and both scored within a few the standing in the conference and minutes. Ramsay would then set off will not advance to the conference to shoot another goal, and suddenly games in November. With the latest a win seemed possible. But unfortu- loss they fall to 4-12 on the season nately, the Cats held off the Dawgs and 0-6 in conference games. for the last 15 minutes of the game The Wildcats started the game to make it impossible for UMBC to off in a hurry, scoring first after less tie or even win the game. than five minutes. New Hampshire’s Before the Retrievers started Emily Colton shot the goal, and turning shots into goals, some only seven minutes later, another changes had to be made for the Mark Finizio [Retriever Staff] one of Colton’s shots made it past comeback to be possible. Jen Rowe Coming to an end: Amanda Heinz plays hard with only one more game to play after the lades drop the conference game. UMBC’s goalie Meghan Polek. The says, “We changed our formation, Retrievers hardly had time to react and then the first goal got us total of seven saves during the game. host Drexel on Friday at 5 p.m. at hockey team again this year. as goals from the Wildcats kept on pumped up to score more.” Sadly, the team did not meet the stadium. The team would really Astrid is the Sports editor of The coming, and by the time the first The Wildcats outshot the their goal to play in November, leav- appreciate you coming out and Retriever, is scared of True Grit and half was finished, UMBC was down Retrievers 21-17, but had fewer cor- ing the Dawgs with only one more cheering them on. You will not have can be reached for comment at 0-4. Two minutes into the second ner opportunities, 5-6. Polek made a game for the season. UMBC will the chance to support your field [email protected]. 28 Sports October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER Volleyball drops two conference games in front of home audience

ASTRID SPERLING added three to her count. However, the per- Retriever Editorial Staff formances by our ladies did not hold off the strong Bearcats, who had an overall hitting percentage of .343, while UMBC averaged The Volleyball ladies dropped the first only .090 two of five home games, both against America Earlier on Friday, the very strong team East opponents. On Friday, the team wel- from Albany came to UMBC and showed off comed Albany, who remain unbeaten in the their strength, even though they dropped a set conference (6-0). Although winning the first in America East competition for the first time set, the Dawgs lost the last three games (29-31, this year. That first set did little to impress the 30-22, 30-23, 30-22). Just one day later, on Great Danes, who stomped over the Retrievers Saturday, the ladies faced off against for the remainder of the game. They were led Binghamton and were downed in three sets by standout player Eileen Rodriguez, who had (30-26, 30-18, 30-26). The Retrievers fall to 11 services during the match. Shelby Goldman 11-13 on the season and 2-5 in America East led the Danes to a hitting percentage of .340 competition. with 26 kills and Blair Buchanan added 58 On Saturday, the lady Dawgs were out- assists to her record. Leading the Retrievers played by the Bearcats, who did not drop a sin- were Emily Berman and Julia Hood with 14 gle set. Binghamton recorded a hitting average and 11 kills, respectively. Jessie Folk with 10 of almost .400 for the first two sets, led by kills and Megan Gross with 41 assists and 14 Michelle Heck, who posted the match high of digs also contributed strongly to the game. 18 kills, and Ashley Meffert, who had 40 Next up for the lady Dawgs is another assists. On the Retriever side, Emily Berman home game against conference competition and Julia Hood both killed 10 times, while from Stony Brook on Tuesday at 7 p.m. Megan Gross recorded 28 assists and nine digs. Astrid is the sports editor of The Retriever Julia Waclawiak moved up into seventh place is scared of True Grit and can be reached for com- Matt Stockslager [Retriever Staff] for service aces in UMBC history when she ment at [email protected]. There goes the ball: The ladies were unable to advance in the AM East standings. Meet the staff - Steve Levy, Associate AD/director of communications

ASTRID SPERLING seven. On game nights he sometimes does not drive right now; it is an interesting stage in my Retriever Editorial Staff leave his office until late at night, making sure life,” he says with a smile. His kids all play everything is squared away. Levy is responsible sports. “On weekends, I’m usually scampering Steve Levy is a true Baltimore native; he for departmental publications, the Retriever around with them, watching soccer games or was born in the city, grew up and went to website, management of games, and all the playing tennis with them.” The last time Levy school here, and now works as the director of other PR aspects of running a collegiate event. had a stretch to take a vacation, he took a trip communications. He earned a bachelor’s Have you ever noticed that only minutes with his family to Wildwood, New Jersey. He degree in Interdisciplinary Studies with a focus after an athletic event ended the stats can be is not much of a traveler, and usually stays on Sports Journalism, right here found on the website? It is within the country when on vacation, partly at UMBC. The reason he ended Talk about the Levy and his staff who because his job forces him to be on the road a up at UMBC was more an acci- perfect job. make sure everything is up lot with teams. dent than anything else. Levy was on time. During away Just like everyone on UMBC’s athletic set to go to Rutgers, but the When Steve Levy games they contact the staff, Levy loves sports. “I grew up playing golf. school lost his housing contract, decided what he communication staff at the I played golf in high school and I love the so he decided to come to UMBC host school and they in sport. There is nothing better than hitting a for just one year. More than 20 wanted to be, he return do the same for all good shot. As a family, we mostly watch tennis years later, after working for The pursued that the other schools that and even have been to the U.S. Open a few Retriever, the student radio, come to visit UMBC. For times.” He also played junior varsity basket- interning with WJZ and the dream until he lacrosse, soccer, and bas- ball, but golf was his passion. Here at UMBC Catonsville Times, he is still at ended up exactly ketball games, there are he likes all sports. “At first I really liked basket- UMBC working with a passion now even live stats where ball, but now I have grown to love so much in the field of athletics. where he want- fans at home can check on more.” Levy took the job as director ed to be - at a the computer what is hap- of athletics at the age of 23 and pening at that moment. says that “college is about making job he loves Levy is the contact person Quick Questions the best of your opportunities.” everyday. for men’s soccer, men’s What is your favorite restaurant? So, he did just that. “I went out lacrosse, basketball, and Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse there and I got lucky, but I made the best out tennis. His colleagues Roxanne Reyes and If you could have any job, what would it be? of what I had and that’s why I’m here today.” Andy Warner share the other sports. I love my job, but I would also like to be a What is your favorite movie? He liked the environment of the school and Levy has a busy life outside of his job as Sports broadcaster. Field of Dreams was hooked from the moment he moved on well. He has four children, ranging in ages campus prior to his sophomore year. from six to sixteen, and whenever he has some What is your favorite food? What is your favorite book? Director of communications is not an easy time off it usually is strictly family time with all I’m a meat and potato kinda guy and I love Bleachers by John Grisham job. Levy usually works six days a week, often of them. “My oldest son is learning how to steak. Athleteof theWeek: Powell Cucchiella Jessica Prosen

Soccer forward Powell Cucchiella Marcus Gross. “He never gives up and can beat Monmouth at the conclusion of the season. earned “America East Co-Player of the people with his skill.” “He has the perfect attitude,” comments Week” honors last week and recorded high Following a solid spring season, Cucchiella Gross. “He’s worked on areas of his game and positions on several conference rankings kicked off this year with an impressive perform- has become more of a complete player.” this season, most notably being second in ance at the team’s opening game as the Cucchiella was honored as a standout high the league for number of assists. Just Retrievers destroyed NJIT in a shutout victory, school player when he was named “Baltimore behind fellow teammate, Matt Watson, 10-0. Cucchiella recorded four assists to match City/Baltimore County Player of the Year” by Cucchiella has made eight assists in 12 the 14-year-old UMBC school record. He also the Baltimore Sun. A graduate of Eastern Tech games. He is tied for third for points in the played a strong game against George High School in Baltimore, he scored 11 goals league after racking up 18 points this sea- Washington University by scoring less than 12 and made 12 assists to lead his team to both son, as well as a sixth place position in minutes into the first half and then passing to county and regional titles. A versatile player on goals for the five he has scored. Watson in the second half, who scored the the field, Cucchiella also played up front or Cucchiella scored a goal in the home- team’s third goal of the game. UMBC celebrat- midfield. coming game against Northeastern on ed its third shutout victory of the season. The Retrievers have not lost a home game Saturday and lead the Retrievers to one of While Cucchiella has proven to be a key this season and hope to continue that trend as their recent victories (4-1) over conference player on the men’s soccer team this season, his they take on Howard University this rivals of University of Maine, with an early first two years at UMBC were not as decorated. Wednesday at 2 p.m. goal in the first half followed by an assist As a sophomore, Cucchiella played in 11 games, “We have to keep our intensity levels up and another goal in the second half of the although he did not record any goals for the and the soccer will take care of itself,” says game. team that season. In 2002 Cucchiella scored his Gross. “We’re better than any team in this con- “His work rate is huge,” says junior first collegiate goal in the team’s 4-0 victory over ference.” THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 Sports 29

competition drowns in UMBC’s wave

ALL PHOTOS MATT STOCKSLAGER Big Splash: Men’s and women’s swimming and diving demonstrated good performances against Rider. Stanislawska finished first only min- back strong when Ryan Karrer finished the utes later in the 200 free in 1:56,86. 1000 free in first place with a time of The next winner for the ladies was 9:46,10. Jakub Scroczynski took the 200 freshman Lindsey Engler who fin- free, and later, the 100 free as well. Karrer ished the 50 free in just over 25 sec- completed his double by also winning the onds (25,04) followed by Lindsey 500 free. Karn Yisomruay won the 200 IM Prather who took the 200 IM in in 1:55,69, Geza Szabo finished first in the 2:12,76. By then, only a catastrophe 200 fly with a time of 1:53,93, and Dominic could have prevented the Retrievers Lee came to the wall first in the 200 breast in from winning, and the loss of the 2:12,50. The Dawgs had to give the 50 free, 200 fly did little harm. After that as well as the 200, back to the Broncs along small upset, UMBC kept on making with the early relay loss. Everyone con- waves and Elyse Gibson, Agnes tributed to the win, especially the freshmen ASTRID SPERLING packed stands, which made for an exciting Stanislawska, Amber Harris, and Lindsey who have all found their spots on the team. Retriever Editorial Staff atmosphere. The men took the win with Prather took the wins in the 100 free, 200 Next up for the Retrievers is Navy in 131-104 and advanced to 2-0 on the season, back, 500 free, and 200 breast, respectively. Annapolis this Friday. The men are looking The UMBC men’s and women’s swim- while the women were victorious with 148- To finish off the meet with a bang, the team for revenge in this highly anticipated match ming and diving squads each presented par- 79 to even out their record (1-1). also took the 4x100 freestyle relay, but up. Last year, the team lost by only one ents, alumni, and friends with a win when The women took control of the meet UMBC’s scores were not counted anymore, point, while the women grabbed the win for the teams left Rider gulping for air on early on, winning the first relay, followed by which is tradition when the winning team is the first time after a long period of Navy’s Saturday at the UMBC natatorium. This victories in the next four events to allow too far ahead to possibly lose. dominance in the pool. meet, as well as the parents and alumni meet, Rider their only win in the 200 fly. On the men’s side, the Retrievers were Astrid is the Sports editor for The were the first in home waters. Family mem- Freshman Rachel Leslie took the 1000 free out-matched by Rider’s medley relay to lose Retriever, is scared of True Grit and can be bers of the team contributed greatly to in 10:30,99, and sophomore Agnes in the first event of the day, but they came reached for comment at [email protected].

You want it. You can afford it. CORRECTION:CORRECTION: You’ll never see it.

In the issue of October 19, 2004, Danielle Williamson, not Astrid Sperling, wrote the Racial Steering Is Illegal. If you think you’ve been a victim, contact the National Fair Housing Alliance. article: “Midnight Madness.” Furthermore, it was Mike Knight who sang at the event, We’ll respond within 24 hours, we’ll inform you not Mike Housman. And of course, the men’s basketball coach is Randy Monroe. of your rights and, if necessary, we’ll help you take action. Fight Housing Discrimination And Win. WE SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR THE MISTAKES MADE :’( ti lf i h i 1 866 222 FAIR THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 30 Classifieds Catonsville resident. Competitive rates. 300 EMPLOYMENT Home: 410.719.0007 Great Fun, Great Pay!! Promotional management position $11.00 To models needed for major company. $15.00 p/h evening work p.t./f.t. fax Must be 21+, outgoing, and love inter- resume 410 997 6453 THE RETRIEVER acting with people! Flexible schedule & positions $7.00 To $9.00 hour evening $25/hr! Send resume & picture to pro- work p.t./f.t. 410 8841051 [email protected]. University Center 214 Busy Entrepreneur needs personal 800 TRAVEL assistant to work 2 days per week at 1000 Hilltop Circle $10.00 per hour. Must have own car, Spring Break 2005. Travel with STS, Baltimore, MD 21250 be able to use Word, Excel, and America’s #1 Student Tour Operator to Quickbooks. Duties include: Entering Jamaica, Cancun, Acapulco, Bahamas (410) 455-1260 data into Quickbooks, filing receipts, and Florida. Now hiring on-campus Mon.-Fri. 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. reps. Call for group discounts. and running errands. This is a great Classifieds may be placed online by opportunity for someone to work with Information/ Reservations 1-800-648- an energetic person, involved in real 4849 or www.ststravel.com. going to www.universaladvertising.com. estate, investing, and other endeavors. Must be a self starter. Excellent oppor- tunities for growth. Call Jackie at 410- 740-1200 x 1116. Youth Counselors Needed. A residen- tial leadership training program for boys in foster care seeks to hire motivi- ated, disciplined, highly organized Club Notices 30 words free per week! in section 100-ANNOUNCEMENTS counselors for various shifts to work directly with our young men. Please email [email protected] forward resume and cover letter to: [email protected] Babysitter Wanted. for evenings and weekends. Part time in local

WE KEEP HUNDREDS OF KIDS AFTER SCHOOL.

They love our many extended-day programs. They go to an extraordinary new kind of public school. It’s called a Community School for Excellence. It’s open up to 15 hours a day, 6 days a week, 52 weeks a year. Like many schools in this program, it has medical and dental services and a social worker on site. Its extended hours are filled with unique academic and recreational activities. It’s a school where teachers have more time to teach. And students are physically and emotionally better prepared to learn. So, if you have trouble getting your kids to go to school, find out how you can make it a place they won’t want to leave.

Call 1-877-LOVE 2 LEARN Community Schools For Excellence THE RETRIEVER October 26, 2004 Sports 31 Women’s soccer has trouble on the road, lose to Vermont and Hartford

AMIT CHAND Hartford scored the go-ahead goal at the The Retriever Staff Writer 55:25 mark. Katie Gardiner guided the ball from 35-yards out just over a leaping Babaris The Lady Retrievers had a three-game and below the crossbar for the score. The winning streak snapped at Vermont on Friday Hawks struck again less than three minutes (1-2 )after allowing a goal in the last five min- later on a header by Giannetta Savarino for utes of the game. The team lost another road Hartford’s third and final goal of the game. conference game on Sunday at Hartford, 1-3. In Friday’s action against the Vermont With the two losses, UMBC (7-9, 2-5) drops Catamounts, UMBC lost the game when to second to last place in the Am East. Vermont’s Amy Cochran scored a goal at the Sunday’s game saw the Retrievers unable 85:43 mark, breaking a 1-1 tie. Fiorani man- to answer three straight second half Hartford aged to score with five seconds remaining in Hawk goals after UMBC took the early lead the game, but UMBC was called for a foul on sophomore Kelly Fiorani’s goal at the and the score was not allowed. 14:25 mark. Fiorani scored her third goal of The lone Retriever goal came by way of the season off a missed shot by freshman junior Jessica Golibart 1:25 into the second teammate Jessica Young. half. Golibart picked up a loose ball that had The Retrievers held a 10-7 shot advan- been cleared off a corner kick by Vermont and tage in the first half but were unable to con- shot it in the net from 15-yards out. The vert anymore shots the rest of the game. score would remain tied at 1 until Cochran’s UMBC out-shot the Hawks for the game 18- game-wsxwinning goal. 17 but Hartford goalie Liz Cook had 11 saves UMBC returns home for their next game on the day, preventing a Retriever rally. on Thursday against Northeastern at 3p.m. The Hawks scored their first goal of the followed by Boston on Saturday at 1p.m., also Stephanie Potter [Retriever Staff] game a little over five minutes into the second at home. Cool game: The ice hockey club won against Georgetown 8-7 in their homecoming game last half when Moa Lennartsson beat junior Amit Chand is a staff writer for the saturday. UMBC netminder Robin Babaris one-on- Retriever. He can be reached at one. [email protected]. Rec Sports 101: 2003-04 Season in Review Part 2

BY DUSTIN FISHER the entire 32 minutes or end early by the Sol their surprise 5 on 7 victory in the cham- in the second game to win 13-12. And with Retriever Staff Writer mercy rule. But shot after shot wasn’t going in pionship game. both teams exhausted, the Nerds went nuts in for the Champs and the same shots were “The Not-So-Ordinary” – Well, often- game three. They scored 14 runs in the bot- “The Isabel Tournament” – OK, so we going in for Dats All Day. Everybody figured times a team name will inspire a T-shirt to be tom of the first inning to go up 14-1, and they didn’t actually play in the hurricane, but we it was just a matter of time before it turned made up for future sporting endeavors, either might still be at bat today if it weren’t for the had off for the Thursday and Friday when around. But it never did. And so Dats All Day at UMBC or elsewhere. Team Euro actually 10-run per inning rule. Asian Athletics tried Isabel came rumbling through town, wreaking behind Justin Wilson, upset last year’s champs inspired a website on which anyone may pur- to take the bat out of contention, but since havoc in Fells Point and parts of every state and made it to the finals, where they lost to chase (and has purchased) their apparel. they had already put the Miken in play, I was along the coast all the way to Ohio (yes, I We Won. But it was a heck of a victory. Maybe this happens all the time, but some- going to let the Enginerds use it. know it’s not on the coast). We were supposed “The Hero” – Last semester’s coed out- how I doubt it. And maybe thanks to us, “The Best” – Late night dodge ball was to have a sand volleyball tournament that day, door soccer championship game looked like it they’ll have a Team Evro website too. probably the best tournament we ran all year. but I had no idea if anybody would show, but was going to be a rout when Casa De Sol only http://www.cafeshops.com/teameuro We closed the RAC at 9p.m. to run the tour- lo and behold, 4 men’s teams and 5 coed showed up with one girl, meaning they’d have “The Controversy” – It will forever be ney on all three courts. Geoff asked how long teams showed up to play. And so we played to play the entire game 5 against Bullocks’ 7. known as “Mikengate.” I’ve never seen so I thought we’d be there and I truly didn’t for about 6 hours and ordered pizzas after- But somehow they managed to go into over- much controversy over a piece of equipment think we’d last too much past 11:00. I think wards. I wish we could play all our outdoor time tied at 1-1, thanks to Quante’s lone goal before. So Asian Athletics has this juiced up the last picture was taken at 1:45am. It was tournaments after hurricanes rip through the and Vitya’s outstanding goaltending. After a bat that says “official softball bat,” so we had our first time trying this, so a lot of the refs area. scoreless overtime period, the game was forced to let them use it. But we were also going to and players, and even Geoff and I, had a few “The Upset” – Dats All Day lost to the to go into a shootout. After going the entire allow the opposing team to use it too, just to rule discrepancies. Thankfully, all the partici- Spring 2004 Champs in the regular season game without making any noise at all, Jen be fair. They met the Enginerds in the best-of pants were fully aware of this and everyone very easily by 13. They were supposed to lose Bonass took her penalty shot and put it in the -three championship series. After blowing the was very tolerant of our mid-game rule to them again in the playoffs. And when they upper 90 of the goal, giving her team a 3-1 Nerds out in the first game 11-3, I didn’t changes and so forth. It was a great experience only showed up with 4 players, bets were lead in penalty shots. Jen’s shot would wind think we’d even need to talk about a third which I’m sure we will try to duplicate in being placed on whether the game would last up being the winning shot and gave Casa De game. But the Nerds came back and held on future semesters. Check out the pix online!

VOTE. Tell people older than you what to do.

yourvotecounts.org yourvotecounts.org 32 October 26, 2004 THE RETRIEVER

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