NEWS AND POSSIBILITES FOR SENIORS A Publication of

PHILADELPHIA CORPORATION FOR AGING September 2018 • Free

[ National Senior Center Month | September ] IN THIS ISSUE Life Choices LIFE CHOICES An empowered death: Taking control Grandma’s Recipe Box: try our family favorites...... 6 of the end of life By Constance Garcia-Barrio

Death, like superb wine, claims a starring role at some dinners these days. Death dinners, where peo- ple meet over fabulous food to talk about dying, help guests ditch the taboo around discussing life’s final transition. More than 100,000 such dinners have taken place in 30 countries, according to deathoverdinner. org, a website that points out the benefits of having the sometimes-tough conversation. Death dinners can ease our fears and nudge us to- Paola Nogueras ward the positive outlook of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Reader submission: From left, Curtis King, Keith Singleton, Qussie Murphy and Jean Carney lift weights during an exercise class at West Philadelphia Senior Community Center. “I’ve told my children that when I die to release bal- finding the right home.....10 loons in the sky to celebrate that I graduated,” the late psychiatrist and author of “Death and Dying” wrote. Today’s senior community centers “For me, death is a graduation.” Fate and our genes may leave us vulnerable, but we students await the weekly class with anticipa- By Marcia Z. Siegal can make choices that allow us to have a positive and tion. empowered experience of death. Philadelphians have With sophisticated fitness centers and well- “Get ready for a lot of laughs,” said student access to many resources and possibilities that let us ness programs, computer and Zumba classes, Teresa Shank. “We always have fun here.” The shape the end of life into what we want it to be. intergenerational collaborations, and a focus 59-year-old has learned to use email, do in- • continued on page 20 on active living, today’s senior community ternet searches, play computer games, share centers are a far cry from the centers previous photos electronically, and create a Facebook generations were accustomed to. account to share posts with family and friends. National Senior Center Month, observed Boateng begins by warning his students in September, provides an opportunity to about spam, or unsolicited email that may celebrate the vibrant programming featured contain dangerous links. “When you go in Health Brief...... 2 at senior centers supported by Philadelphia your email, make sure you clean up your in- Calendar...... 12 Corporation for Aging (PCA), which is engag- box,” he said to his students. “We all know Don’s Column...... 23 ing members ranging from baby boomers to what spam is. It’s not meat that comes in a Crossword...... 23 centenarians. blue can. I’m talking about bad email. Delete it. Don’t open it.” Computer savvy – and safe Next, students learn how to use the calen- NEXT MONTH: Computer class teacher Kwaku Boateng dar application to create, edit and delete ap- Health Care strides into the back room at Lutheran Settle- pointments and events. In subsequent lessons, ment House (LSH) Senior Center, 1340 Frank- Boateng promised, they would learn how to ford Ave. in North Central Philadelphia, where • continued on page 14 iStock Milestones 2 September 2018

Health Brief

WHO IS PCA? Philadelphia Corporation for Aging (PCA) is a nonprofit agency dedicated to serving Philadelphia seniors. In addi- tion to bringing you Milestones newspaper, PCA offers: • Care in the home • Home-delivered meals iStock • Home repairs and modifications Socialization benefits seniors’ health • Protective services The negative effects of loneliness and so- A similar study in the American Journal • Ombudsman services • Senior centers cial isolation have been widely reported in re- of Public Health showed that older women • Health education • Caregiver support cent years. Loneliness is on par with obesity, who maintained large social networks re- • Employment and • Information and referral lack of exercise and smoking as a risk factor duced their risk of dementia and delayed volunteer programs For more information, call the PCA for illness and early death, according to the or prevented cognitive impairment. In fact, • Legal services Helpline at 215-765-9040 or visit journal Heart. On the other hand, research- women with large social networks were 26 • Transportation pcaCares.org. ers are increasingly finding that socialization percent less likely to develop dementia than may have positive impacts on health. those with smaller social networks. In the While the two terms are sometimes used study, women who had daily contact with Call 24/7 to report suspected elder abuse. interchangeably, it is important to note a dis- friends and family cut their risk of dementia PCA Helpline: 215-765-9040 tinction between isolation and loneliness. by nearly 50 percent. Outside Philadelphia toll-free: 888-215-765-9041 (TDD) Social isolation is an objective state that oc- While researchers are not entirely sure Published by Philadelphia Corporation for Aging www.pcaCares.org curs when a person does not have regular of the science behind socialization and im- contact with a large group of people. Lone- proved brain health, many hypothesize that Holly Lange, President and CEO Milestones is published monthly and distrib- liness, meanwhile, is a subjective experience social interactions, like mental exercises, uted at more than 1,100 locations throughout Board of Directors of distress or discomfort about not having limit the amount of time that brains remain Philadelphia, lower Bucks and eastern Mont- enough social interaction. A person can be unfocused, leading to a reduction in cogni- Katherine E. Galluzzi, D.O., gomery counties. F.A.C.O.F.P., Chair socially isolated and not feel lonely. Alter- tive impairment. Check us out online: pcaMilestones.org. Judee M. Bavaria, Vice Chair nately, an individual with a large social net- Social networks often foster other healthy Sheri C. Gifford, LCSW, Secretary Editor: Alicia M. Colombo work may experience loneliness. behaviors, including exercise. Walking groups Barbara Waynant Murphy, Treasurer 215-765-9000, ext. 5081 Older adults are more likely to be socially and dance classes are examples of healthy so- Louis A. Bove PCA, 642 N. Broad St. isolated than the general population. Social cial networks that can also improve physical Glenn D. Bryan Philadelphia, PA 19130 networks naturally get smaller later in life as health. Email: [email protected] Angela Foreshaw-Rouse friends and family grow apart, move away or There are resources available for seniors Lydia Hernandez-Velez Advertising: Joan Zaremba pass on. With this increase in social isolation who are socially isolated and seeking a more Frederick Lewis 215-765-9000, ext. 5051 comes an increase in loneliness, and the neg- active social life. More than two dozen PCA- Fran Miller Email: [email protected] Victor M. Negrón, Jr. ative effects that come with it. More than 40 funded senior community centers through- Subscriptions & Distribution: Satya B. Verma, O.D., F.A.A.O. percent of seniors experience loneliness on a out Philadelphia offer activities including Home delivery: $12/year Lenore Wasserman Scola regular basis, according to a study from the classes and shared meals to encourage social- To subscribe or find a distributor: John Whitman University of California, San Francisco. ization among older adults. You can find a Emily Porcelli, 215-765-9000, ext. 5050 Eloise N. Young Email: [email protected] Loneliness can raise the level of stress hor- senior center in your community by visiting Emeritus: Arthur E. Helfand, D.P.M. mones in the body, increase inflammation PCAcares.org/senior-centers. For those who The views expressed in Milestones are not necessarily those of Philadelphia Corporation for Ag- and lead to a decrease in brain function. A re- have trouble leaving home, communicating ing (PCA). Milestones will not knowingly accept or publish fraudulent or misleading advertising. cent study published in The Journal of Neurol- over the phone or online can be very helpful Milestones reserves the right to edit, revise or reject ads. Milestones assumes no responsibility for ogy, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry found that in combatting loneliness. AARP offers online errors, misprints, omissions or misinformation; for failure to publish an ad; or for any damages of tutorials on using computers, smartphones any kind. Neither the publisher nor any other party is rendering expert advice in this publication. participants who reported feeling lonely were No part of this newspaper may be reproduced without the permission of PCA. more likely to develop dementia than those and social media to connect with others. Visit ©2018 Philadelphia Corporation for Aging. All rights reserved. who lived alone but were not lonely. aarptek.aarp.org/social-media for details.

Funded by PCA OurOur Community. Community.Our Community. OurOur Health. Health. Our Health. Our Community. Our Health. PAPA Health HealthPA & & WellnessHealth Wellness &is focusedWellnessfocused on on whole iswhole focused on whole healthhealthPA Healthcare, care, refl& refl Wellness ecting ecting ison focused aa person’sperson’s on whole total total health care, refl ecting on a person’s total well-beingwell-beinghealth and and meeting meeting care, refleacheach ecting person’s person’s on unique unique a person’s total well-being and meeting each person’s unique needs. Providing whole health care and long needs.needs. Providingwell-being Providing whole whole and healthhealth meeting care care and and longeach long person’s unique term supports and services requires us to termterm supports supportsneeds. and and Providing services services requiresrequires whole us us tohealth to care and long broaden our services and provide solutions broadenbroaden our our services services and and provide solutions solutions to addressterm all ofsupports life’s changes. and services requires us to to addressto address all all of of life’s life’s changes. changes. Our fullbroaden continuum ofour health, services support, and and provide solutions Our Ourfull fullcontinuum continuum of of health, health, support,support, and and servicesservicesto options options address provides provides all diversediverseof life’s solutions changes. servicestoto improve improve options outcomes. outcomes. provides We We understanddiverseunderstand solutions and to addressimproveaddressOur barriers barriersoutcomes. full to continuumto health health We understand andand provideprovide of health, and support, and addressaccessaccess barriersservicesto to the the best best to care options healthcare for for eachandeach provides provide and every diverse solutions accesspersonperson to to theto live live best his his or careor her her forbest best each life.life. and every person toto live improve his or her outcomes. best life. We understand and PAHealthWellness.comaddressPAHealthWellness.com barriers to health and provide PAHealthWellness.comaccess1-844-626-68131-844-626-6813 to the best care for each and every person1-844-626-6813 to live his or her best life. PAHealthWellness.com 1-844-626-6813 Milestones 4 September 2018

Life Choices Having the retirement you want By Sally Friedman is generally regarded as “retirement age” – which, based on American culture and tradi- Some go kicking and screaming. Some go tion, seems to hover around 65. Obviously, jubilantly and gratefully. though, one size does not fit all. “Retirement.” The word inspires duel- Read on to learn what retirees and the ex- ing emotions, and when it crops up, those perts who advise them have to say about the emotions can run high. People’s take on how, the when, the preparation and the expe- retirement can be as varied as how they see rience itself. themselves, their lives and their natures. And inevitably, the burning question arises: An enduring passion “When is the right time?” Stephen King (no relation to the author) The issues associated with retirement are was only 16 when he graduated from high weighty; for some, they are overwhelming. school in Brooklyn, New York. He loved They include concerns about money, health learning and went on to graduate from the and health insurance, quality of life, and Wharton School of the University of Penn- emotional adjustments. sylvania, then responded to the draft of the And yes, that same “R word” makes us era and served in the United States Army in question, “So what next?” Korea. Of course, there are experts to help, friends Education lured him back to the class- to offer guidance, families to care and a thing room, but this time as a teacher. loosely called “instinct” that may also be a “It was important to me to do something Courtesy: Marjorie Janoski strong factor in helping us get the retirement that had meaning, and teaching did,” said Retired attorney Marge Janoski plays with her 2-year-old granddaughter, Kavya. Janoski retired we want. King, who spent his teaching career at Over- after 44 years in law to spend more time with her family and to care for her first grandchild. Exploring the future can be daunting, brook High School in Philadelphia from and also became a department head,” he ing that again – and with the same zest. but retirement is more than just an abstract 1964 through 1991. “I taught American his- said. “Despite the challenges, I really enjoyed “Talking before a classroom group in an in- concept for many who are at or near what tory, American government and economics what I did.” teresting way is not that different from talking Burnout never caused the dedicated teach- to a client and making sure that ‘student’ is er, who led his students into a better under- truly understanding,” he said. Learn more about our FREE home standing of their country through special At 84, King is balancing work that is at and community-based projects, to say “Enough.” once old and new – and enjoying it fully. He services. After he retired from teaching in 1991, noted that he can set aside time to spend with King tested the waters of the insurance in- his wife, Essie, whom he met as a pen pal dur- dustry, becoming a licensed independent ing the Korean War. insurance broker – a field he had begun ex- “To some extent, I can control my own ploring during his after-school hours and schedule, I’m helping people, and I’m doing summers. what I loved to do in a different way,” he said. At 73, he sold the insurance business he “Life is good.” had created to his partner, taking some time off to travel with his wife, enjoy his grandchil- The right choice dren and continue his passion for tennis. Attorney Marge Janoski can pinpoint the But King was not yet ready to stop work- precise moment when she knew it was her ing. His love of educating people led him time to retire. It wasn’t because of job burn- Trusted for coordination of services, including to yet another career in insurance, this time out from her long, meaningful years as a se- in-home care, since 1984. JEVS goes above and beyond to ensure you specializing in the senior health market, with nior attorney for Community Legal Services have control over your choices and needs, your preferences are met, and services are its complex issues, as a certified independent in Philadelphia, which she still found satisfy- expertly tailored to meet those needs. You can count on us to assist you or your loved one. agent representing national companies offer- ing after 44 years. ing long-term care and Medicare plans. “It was actually when I learned that my And lo and behold, he was back to a form daughter and son-in-law were going to be- Services of teaching – a passion he clearly had not left come parents,” she said. “I just knew that I • Personalized plan for long-term services and supports behind – as he explained policy options to wanted to be more than just a proud grand- • Dedicated Supports Coordination team that is reliable and responsive clients. mother. I wanted to become a truly meaning- • 24 hours on-call supports “In teaching, you need to be prepared ful part of my grandchild’s life, and at the • Nursing home placement prevention planning and nursing home transition to home supports with lesson plans,” King said. “You need to same time give my daughter and son-in-law know how to impart information to others true support during their career-building www.jevshumanservices.org/being-home so that they understand it and master it.” years.” Serving Philadelphia & Area Counties • 215-728-4435 And in his “retirement” life, King began do- • continued on page 9 September 2018 Milestones 5

Life Choices Critics’ Corner Gig economy Baby boomer Retirement Work Gig economy Seniorpreneur ‘The Sense of an Ending’ is a ExploreExplore Leisure Skills Work senior’s coming-of-age tale Skills Retirement Explore Work Leisure By M.L. Polak gradual numbing that has gotten him by in Seniorpreneur Baby boomer life. Explore Skills Seniorpreneur Can you have a coming-of-age film if Shuttling between past and present, the Leisure Work Skills the protagonist is already in his ’60s? “The film explores the dramatic landscape of Gig economy Sense of an Ending” shows that you can. Tony’s student years, the formidable cam- Gig economy Seniorpreneur Leisure This 2017 film is a subtly nuanced, yet grip- era-toting young woman he later realizes ping adaptation of British author Julian was his first love, the woman’s strangely Barnes’ acclaimed 2011 novel by the same flirtatious mother (played by Emily Mor- ‘Seniorpreneur’ embraces gig title. Directed by Ritesh Batra (“The Lunch- timer) and the rest of the slightly odd aris- box”), the film stars Oscar-winning actor tocratic clan who seemed to embrace Tony economy in retirement Jim Broadbent (“Iris”), who makes for an in unison. unlikely hero. The film shifts again as the search for By Maggie Davenport fillment that I sought. I liked the “bigger pic- Broadbent’s character, Tony Webster, is a friend’s diary and small sum of money ture” aspect of working in public health and best friends with his lawyer ex-wife, Margaret; leads to the pursuit of Tony’s peculiar, par- began to pursue my Ph.D. in that field from I decided to take a READER brusque with the mailman; and detached adoxically unattainable legacy. Tony recon- the University of Cincinnati. But I dropped nects with his past love over tea, learning new approach to em- SUBMISSION from his pregnant lesbian daughter, Susie, ployment in mid-life. out after two years when I became disillu- who gives him a smartphone to “bring him more than he has bargained for, in encoun- This alternate approach sioned with my studies. into the 21st century.” ters with the leathery, stolid Veronica Ford I decided to take early retirement and be- was fueled by a vagabond aura that has been Tony runs a boutique camera shop and (played by Charlotte Rampling). Thus cata- gin collecting Social Security at 60. That’s part of me for as long as I can remember. And is placidly content with the present until he lyzed, Tony thaws profoundly and emerges when my “seniorpreneurship” venture really my new approach has a multitude of posi- suddenly receives word of a small inheri- from his self-contained emotional glacier. took hold. For the past several years, I’ve sup- tives – particularly as I age. I have always been tance from the mother of a college chum. This ultimately sweet and gentle film plemented my income in a variety of ways. fairly “location independent,” meaning that I It is then that his solo life changes dramati- about loss, memory, first romances and last I became certified in many different areas – do not feel restricted to working in one area. cally. He plunges back into his past and be- loves finally achieves closure, reassuring including fitness, which has allowed me to I rent my home, so I am not bound to one gins to re-examine half-forgotten events – a us that even the forgotten parts of our life teach exercise classes at L.A. Fitness for the place by a mortgage. The opportunities and mean letter he wrote, a profound romantic stories surely have value and impact upon past 10 years. Drawing on my professional advantages available to me are limited only betrayal, and the suicide of his best friend. whom we have become. experience, I transferred my skills to other by imagination and a little nerve. Location The true meanings behind these partly sup- areas that interested me. I have been a con- M.L. Polak writes, edits, draws cartoons and independence can be considered a lifestyle, pressed memories of early manhood are sultant for a science, technology, engineering unearthed, which provides insight into the gardens in Philadelphia. and as such, it is easy to live your passions and math (STEM) program for children 6-12; while pursuing goals and making a living. written copy for presentations; and taken the her to age at home, I was honored to help her Thanks to the millennial generation – occasional “gig” as home organizer, which is in this small way. who, in my humble opinion, heavily re- code for “downsizing and decluttering.” Crossword puzzle solution Thanks to what I call an elevated aware- semble their mature predecessors (we baby In addition to meeting a variety of stimu- (See page 23 for clues.) ness that I believe comes with mindful aging, boomers) – I am part of a burgeoning cohort lating people and going to exciting places, of workers who make up the “gig economy.” this approach to work has allowed me to I was able to assess my wanderlust qualities In my day, they called it “piecework.” But the spend more time with my family. I am the and skills, assign them monetary value and concept is the same: working several part- middle child of seven siblings, ages 57 to 70. actually get paid for them. Using this new time or side jobs instead of one full-time job. I am grateful for the opportunity afforded by way of approaching income generation and I believe that joining this gig economy this gig-based freedom to spend more time finding a way to become part of this move- workforce at the mid-point of my lifecycle with my siblings while we are all indepen- ment, I have found new inspiration for and makes me a “seniorpreneur,” or an older per- dent and in relatively good health. Recently use of skills whose time I thought had passed. son who seeks new business opportunities. I was able to help one sister during her hip Remember: There’s always a chance; you just I earned my master’s in social work and replacement recovery. I also was able to travel have to take it! worked almost exclusively with youth for 20 to my hometown of Cornelia, Georgia, where years. In 2000, when I was 46, I realized that my youngest sister had just relocated to our Maggie Davenport, 64, lives in Germantown. the one-on-one aspect of social work was not family home – with lots of boxes and memo- She is an active member of the Sierra Club and fulfilling to me anymore. I thought a career ries. Since she had provided and orchestrated volunteers her time to help causes that benefit the change would bring me the professional ful- care for our mother for many years, allowing environment, housing and health. Milestones 6 September 2018

Grandma’s Recipe Box Milestones staff share their cherished grandmothers’ recipes

In honor of Grandparents Day on Sunday, Sept. 9, Milestones staff members are proud to share Milestones writer Michael Hanisco’s grandmother, Josephine the following recipes from their maternal grandmothers with readers. DiFeo, died before he was born. But her legacy lives on in her hearty recipe for Italian wedding soup that has been passed down Milestones editor Alicia M. Colombo’s 98-year-old grandmother, Jennie Crudele, is an avid through generations. The soup gets its name from the Italian baker and chef. One of her beloved recipes is chocolate chip biscotti (pronounced “biz-cut”). phrase “minestra maritata” (“married soup”), which is a reference Biscotti, which originated in Italy, is a crisp, rectangular cookie. Grandma Jennie’s variety to the flavor produced by the combination or “marriage” of green contains mini chocolate chips, instead of the traditional nuts. vegetables and meat. While modern versions of the soup regu- Chocolate chip biscotti larly contain only one meat, this recipe contains both chicken and Ingredients: Directions: small meatballs. The soup is cooked slowly for several hours and 3 extra large eggs Beat eggs, then add sugar, vanilla and oil. is meant to be enjoyed at large family gatherings. Mangia! 1 tsp. of vanilla Mix well, with a mixer or by hand. Add flour, 1 cup sugar baking powder and chocolate chips. Mix Italian wedding soup ¾ cup vegetable oil again until all ingredients are incorporated. Ingredients: Directions: 3 cups flour Line cookie sheets with parchment paper Courtesy: Michael Hanisco 1 whole chicken In a large pot, bring water to 2 tsp. baking and then arrange dough on cookie sheet in Writer Michael Hanisco 1 pound of meatloaf mix a boil (enough to cover whole powder the shape of small loaf. This recipe should and his late grandmother, (beef, pork and veal) chicken). ½ bag mini choco- make six small loaves. Josephine DiFeo, who Courtesy: Alicia Colombo 1 box acini di pepe pasta Reduce heat and cook chicken passed down her recipe late chips Sprinkle a mixture of sugar and cinna- Editor Alicia Colombo with (or substitute orzo) for 2 hours. for Italian wedding soup. her grandmother, Jennie Cinnamon and mon on top of loaves. Bake at 350 degrees 2 14 oz. cans of chicken broth While the chicken cooks, ball meatloaf mix into small Crudele, 98, who shared sugar, to taste for 10-15 minutes or until light brown. Cut her biscotti recipe. loaves into slices to form cookies. 2 large carrots (chopped meatballs (about the size of a gumball or slightly larger). into small pieces) Remove chicken, let cool, then remove skin and bones. 2 bunches of escarole (washed, Reserve water. strained and chopped into Add chicken broth. Add in deboned chicken, escarole, small pieces) pasta, carrots and small meatballs. Simmer for two hours, until pasta is cooked and escarole is tender.

Abbey Porter, who oversees production of Milestones, shares her grandmother’s recipe for calico beans, or bean casserole. Mary Jane Fenton, who Porter calls “Yangee,” is now 101. “This dish was a staple of my childhood,” Porter says. “In keeping with my grandmother’s giving nature, she found this dish an excellent one to share with others.” Sugar can be reduced to taste in this colorful and easy one-dish meal.

Calico beans

Ingredients: Directions: ½ lb. bacon, diced Fry and drain the bacon ½ lb. ground beef and ground beef. Brown 1 cup chopped onion the onion separately, then ½ cup ketchup add it to the meat. ½3 cup brown sugar In a bowl, mix ketchup,

½3 cup white sugar sugars, salt, mustard and 1 tsp. salt vinegar. Drain and add 1 tsp. dry mustard the beans. Combine all Courtesy: Abbey Porter 2 tsp. vinegar ingredients in a casserole Abbey Porter, who oversees production 1 can each of kidney, dish. Bake at 350 for 30- of Milestones, is pictured with her grandmother Mary Jane Felton, 101, butter, and green beans 40 minutes. who shared her recipe for calico beans. 1 can pork and beans September 2017 Milestones 7 Milestones 8 September 2018

SENIOR CENTER SPOTLIGHT

Michael Hanisco Southwest Senior Center members (left to right) Loraine Overton, Theresa Sams and Barbara Morris enjoy each other’s company before lunch. The members meet regularly for socializa- For seniors, aging and staying independent tion and recreation. is not always simple. The Mercy LIFE services offered at home and in our adult day centers help seniors remain Togetherness is key at Southwest independent, active, and healthy. Senior Center: ‘Everyone’s welcome’ • Staying as healthy as possible is easier with a team In honor of National Senior Center Month in September, we’re launching a new occasional series, of medical professionals available 24 hours a day/7 days Senior Center Spotlight, in which we’ll shine a light on each of the PCA-funded senior community centers around Philadelphia. While the centers all provide activities, education and social opportuni- a week. ties for seniors, each one embodies a unique personality and focus – as you’ll read.

• The Social Work team supports seniors as they maintain By Michael Hanisco “We try to encourage inclusion,” she said. control of life's decisions and daily tasks while feeling “Every religion, sexual orientation, and cul- Just inside the entrance of Southwest Se- ture is welcome here.” safe and fulfilled. nior Center, 6916 Elmwood Ave., sits a large The theme of inclusion is reflected in the blackboard plastered with bright posters and center’s membership and programming. • Our Certified Recreational Therapists offer a variety of stickers. The first poster features a picture Southwest Senior Center serves a diverse activities that promote physical movement and keep the of Earth from outer space and is captioned community, with seniors representing the local African-American, Caribbean, South mind active & creative, while having fun with other seniors. with a simple, provocative tagline: “I don’t see any borders. Do you?” “No one is truly American and Asian populations. free while others are oppressed,” another de- The center is also home to an LGBT sup- No co-insurance, deductibles or payments due for services clares. A third plainly states, “Immigration is port group, which was started by Linda you receive. the American Way.” Marucci, center counselor. The group is pri- Members of the center originally put this marily made up of members who have LGBT Be Independent. Keep Active. Stay Healthy. collage together to celebrate Women’s Histo- adult children and/or grandchildren. They ry Month in 2017, but it was so popular that meet weekly to discuss concerns, challenges That's LIFE! Call 215.339.4747 or visit mercylife.org staff decided to leave it up indefinitely. While and ways to change outdated perceptions of for more information. new images have been added to the collec- LGBT people. tion over time, the unifying message has re- Vernice Bond has two very close friends in mained the same: Everyone is welcome. the LGBT community. She attends the sup- It’s a message that center director Paulette port group at the center every Wednesday Cunningham hopes gets through loud and along with a core group of about six others. clear to everyone who steps foot inside the She says she knows of at least one familial 05-09891 center. • continued on page 17 September 2018 Milestones 9

Retirement tirees to seek connection with others. Current • continued from page 4 research suggests that particularly for those There were some raised eyebrows from who are older, social ties can affect both phys- well-meaning friends who wondered wheth- ical and mental health in a positive way. (See er this accomplished and respected lawyer related story on page 2.) would find herself – well, a bit bored by spending several days a week in the company By the numbers of a baby. Financial security is another touchstone for “I know they meant well, but I knew with a happy retirement. Anxieties about money certainty that this was the right choice for should be handled before the decision to re- me,” Janoski said. tire, and often, the help of an expert can save A single mother herself, the grandmother would-be retirees from panic attacks because also recognized the mighty need for that “vil- of the lack of a financial road map. lage” it takes to care for children, and she was Victor Levy, president and managing di- determined to be a deeply involved villager. rector of Philadelphia’s Levy & Associates Her granddaughter is 2 now, and the cur- Wealth Management Group and author of rent childcare arrangement also includes the book “Kitchen Table Financial Plan,” be- some hours at day care so that grandma also lieves in demystifying wealth management by gets a break. sometimes sitting at a client’s kitchen table And those doubters? to reduce the intimidation of planning and The arrangement is working beautifully. strategizing about one’s financial future. “My life so enriched by this wonderful little “Of course, every single client and case is Now also girl, and retirement has been the right choice different from any other,” he said, but there for me,” Janoski said. “In a very special way, serving Bucks & are some commonalities. this is truly my time to do what I really want “I have a special interest in older clients,” Montgomery to do. I think I’m a very lucky woman.” said Levy, who is both an attorney and a cer- counties! tified public accountant. “I’ve definitely tried Retirement realities to encourage our older clients not to be in- Not everyone glides into retirement with- timidated by technology, but rather to use it out facing some emotional challenges. Just as a vital tool.” ask social worker Misa Romasco, director of He is adamant about making sure that his the Geriatric Counseling Service for Inter- clients, no matter their assets, understand ba- community Action Inc. sics like Social Security and health insurance. “Retirement certainly comes with challeng- He recommends visiting USA.gov for infor- es, and as also has been studied, can lead to mation on topics that might seem mysteri- serious depression,” Romasco said. ous, including money and credit related to Far from a “one size fits all” situation, the U.S. Government. some transition into this new phase of life Levy also emphasized that dedicated easily. Others, not so much. wealth managers seek to help clients at all “Isolation can become a serious issue for income levels to reach their financial goals. people who have developed a social network “Using a professional can actually help peo- through the workplace,” Romasco said. “Re- ple to save money,” he said. Often, the more moving that can mean a kind of loneliness wealth someone has, the greater the risk and that may not have been anticipated.” worry about preserving resources without ex- Ironically, the expected “pot of gold” at the end of the work-life rainbow can instead be a pert help. feeling of isolation, after going it alone after Levy also suggests that the professional long years with what some regard as a second meet with the client regularly, ideally at least family – the workplace family. every six months, face to face. “There are many ways to help minimize “There’s something important about con- all of these negative factors,” Romasco said. necting personally and regularly that makes “Senior centers in this region can be wonder- the process work better on both sides,” he ful and welcoming places where activities and said. friendships often fill a void. Volunteering also And should those meetings take place can be extremely gratifying and also can fill at the client’s kitchen table? Levy’s answer: the void of isolation.” “Whenever possible. It’s the place where most Retirement, like so many other life’s transi- of us feel comfortable.” tions, may take time to adjust to. “Patience is a virtue in all things, including the transition Sally Friedman has written for the New York to retirement,” said Romasco, who urges re- Times and other publications. Milestones 10 September 2018

Life Choices Finding the right home provided comfort, empowerment By Marjorie Conn symptoms from my condition. Choosing longer get into the water, was another high- where and how to spend the next years was light. Out front, a stop for a bus going be- In 1994, at 51, I was one of the few ways I could take control of tween City Hall at one end and a big mall at finally in a position READER my life situation. the other was my idea of heaven. I had found where I could stop SUBMISSION My broker took me to see many places. my forever home: a one-bedroom condo on renting and buy a place But none of them were satisfactory for what the sixth floor at DuPont Towers. of my own. After being divorced for 10 years I thought might be needed to meet my fu- That was 28 years ago. I am now 75. I use a iStock and living in Bradford in northwestern Penn- ture needs. I rejected one home because there walker and can’t do stairs. The balance prob- getting on and off public buses difficult, so I sylvania, I wanted to move closer to Chester were a few steps to the front door. Stairs were lems related to my condition mean I can trip now use SEPTA Shared Ride/CCT Connect as County, where I grew up. I had this vision already posing difficulties when my hands over nothing. Now, most of all, I am thankful my main mode of transportation. The stairs that homes cost too much and didn’t even were full and I couldn’t hold onto the rail- to have an elevator to take me to and from to the pool pose problems, as I anticipated think of looking into buying. I thought a ing. Another home was quickly scratched off ground level in my building. they eventually would. But management and house cost $100,000 at that time, which was the list because it would require a slight up- I appreciate many of the things that led concerned neighbors have created a beautiful way more than I could afford. hill walk to the bus stop, which I might have me to choose this place and have found other haven in the side yard where I can sit under One day, on a whim, I went to an open needed to access if I had to give up driving. things to like. The rooms are small enough a tress and listen to the birds or read a good house and realized that I really could afford Still another had deteriorating exterior walls that when I start to fall, I can usually catch book. to buy my own home. But I had no idea of that would probably need to be addressed myself on furniture or the walls. I have a gor- I may need additional help in the future how to go about the search, so I found a real in the future. I didn’t want to deal with ma- geous view of Wissahickon Valley Park out- but hope I can find it and remain in my little estate broker, a nice older woman, to help me jor repairs when I was 80-plus. Finally, again side of my windows. I love having someone nest until I need to be wheeled out on a gurney. find a place that suited my needs. on a whim, my broker stopped at a high-rise else to assure that I have heat, the roof doesn’t I had been diagnosed at 45 with spino- building in Roxborough and inquired wheth- leak and snow is shoveled. Marjorie Conn, 75, was a social worker for chil- cerebellar atrophy, an untreatable, progres- er any units were for sale. All this time later, some of my needs are dren for 30 years until she retired. She has been a sive neurological disease. Think of it as Par- The answer was yes. I was attracted by the what I anticipated and some are different. member of Center at Journey’s Way for 15 years, kinson’s disease or multiple sclerosis with convenience of a trash chute and a laundry I’ve had to make more adaptions, such as where she enjoys the Enhance Fitness exercise no medication to treat it. Before starting my room on each floor. The swimming pool, having grab bars installed in the shower. My classes and book club. She has two grown sons home search, I had already begun to have where I could sit in the sun after I could no increased fatigue and poor balance makes and three grandchildren, 18 months to 17. FUNERALS COST MORE THAN YOU MIGHT THINK … Today, the average cost of a funeral is over $8,500*

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SATURDAY

National Senior Center Month Claymobile Sculpting & Glazing Class. 1-2:30 p.m. Lutheran Settlement1 House Senior Center. 215-426-8610. (Continues through Sept. 24.) $ Healthy Aging Month Labor Day U.S. Army Band Concert September 2018 & Fireworks. 8-10 p.m. Great Plaza at Penn’s Landing. 215-922-2FUN. $ SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY

Blue Corn Green & Organic LABOR DAY Festival. Promotes sustainability 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 through Mexican indigenous traditions First Friday Genealogy. Monthly brown ‘WYETH: The Life of Andrew Wyeth In Grown Folks Fall Festival. Oldies & modern-day farming. Great Plaza at Rosh Hashanah Program. Welcome the bag discussion group with occasional Senior Safety Presentation. 10-11:30 a.m. Bold Strokes.’ Screening of film about music, vendors, moon bounce, face Penn’s Landing. 215-922-2FUN. Jewish New Year. 10:15 a.m. to 1:45p.m. speakers. Open to anyone with an interest Mann Older Adult Center. 215-967-4514. American artist. 7 p.m. Perelman The- painting & more. Fun for the entire KleinLife: NE Phila. 215-698-7300. $ in family history. 12-2 p.m. Independence Modern Times: American Art 1910- ater, Kimmel Center. 215-893-1999. $ family. Noon to 4 p.m. St. Raymond’s 1950. Revolutionary use of shapes Library. 215-685-1633. Church. 215-242-7300. & colors in 20th century art. Phila. Museum of Art. 215-763-8100. $

GRANDPARENTS DAY Holy Cross Parish Young at PATRIOT DAY 9 Heart Group. Members of the 10 11 12 13 Opening Reception for ‘Cotton: 14 15 ROSH HASHANAH (begins at sundown) Slavery & Its Opponents at church & community welcome. Bring Chair Yoga. 10-11 a.m. Mann Older Trip: Western Suburb Cemeteries. The Soft, Dangerous Beauty of the Opening Weekend: Philadelphia America’s Founding. Historian & author your lunch. 12 p.m. Holy Cross Parish, Adult Center. 215-967-4514. Visit loved ones at Mt. Jacob, Mt. Past.’ Explore the dichotomy between Orchestra. Celebrate 10 years of music Brazilian Day. Celebrate Brazil’s Sean Wilentz discusses our founders’ church library. 215-247-0262. Lebanon & Mt. Sharon. Must know the beauty of the plant & its link to the with conductor Yannick Nézet-Séguin Independence Day with cultural food, Health Care & Housing Options. debates over slavery & the constitution. plot number & row. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. horrors of slavery in the U.S. 6:30 p.m. in Phila. 8 p.m. Kimmel Center. 215- merchandise & entertainment. 1-7 p.m. Virtual Grocery Store Tour. Seminar to Presented by NewCourtland. 9 a.m. 12 p.m. National Constitution Center. navigate through the store, read food KleinLife: NE Phila. 215-698-7300. $ African-American Museum in Phila. 893-1999. $ Great Plaza at Penn’s Landing. 215- to 2 p.m. Office of Senator John P. 215-409-6645. $ 922-2FUN. labels & make healthy food choices. Sabatina. 888-530-4913. 215-574-0380. $ 10 a.m. PSC – Allegheny. 267-268-1455.

Global Guide Tour: Middle East NATIONAL HIV/AIDS AND AGING AUTUMN BEGINS 16 Jewish Life: The Sukkah. 17 AWARENESS DAY 18 19 20 21 22 Galleries. Tour of artifacts led by Commemorate Jewish pilgrimage. ‘Danco on ‘Danco. Spotlighting FALLS PREVENTION AWARENESS DAY immigrants & refugees. 2:30 p.m. YOM KIPPUR (begins at sundown) Crafternoons: Cross Stitching Groups. 10:40 a.m. KleinLife: NE Phila. the works of dancers in their formative Hot Summer Night Concert featuring The Great Walking Tour. Rain or shine. Penn Museum. 215-898-4000. $ 215-698-7300. Find creative inspiration with fellow years. 7:30 p.m. Philadanco. 215-387- Benefits Resource Network Workshop. City Rhythm Orchestra. 7-9 p.m. North- 8 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. Phila on Foot. 856- Mexican Independence Day. Cultural craft lovers. 2-4 p.m. Penn Museum. 8200. $ Stress Management Class. Learn to Resources to help with food or medical east Older Adult Center. 215-685-0576. 278-3479. $ music, food, entertainment, arts & crafts. 215-898-4000. $ identify stress or mental tension & tips Flower Arrangement Class. 12:45-2 p.m. African & Caribbean Health, Wellness 2-8 p.m. Great Plaza at Penn’s Landing. care. 1 p.m. Fumo Family Library. 215- for stress management. 10 a.m. PSC – KleinLife: NE Phila. 215-698-7300. $ & Cultural Fair. 11 a.m. to 5p.m. 215-922-2FUN. 685-1758. Allegheny. 267-286-1455. AFRICOM. 267-242-8233. $

Leadership in Turbulent Times. Educational Health & Resource 23 Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin 24 Opera Philadelphia Presents: 25 26 27 Leslie Odom Jr. Celebrates the 28 Fair. 10 a.m. to 2 pm. Concilio. 29 discusses presidential leadership styles ‘Sky on Swings.’ World premiere Philly POPS 40th Anniversary. Grammy 215-262-8021. Joan Baez in Concert: Fare Thee Well Google Search Basics. Learn basic func- Bach Fest. Performances of instrumental throughout history. 6:30 p.m. National performance of American music by & Tony-award winner who played Aaron Just for the Health of It.12-4 p.m. Tour 2018. Influential musician & social tions of internet search engines. Space Events that end with a “$” require an works by J.S. Bach. 6:30 p.m. Daylesford Constitution Center. 215-409-6645. $ Lembit Beecher & libretto by Hannah Burr in ‘Hamilton’ performs classics Episcopal Community Services St. change agent. 8 p.m. Verizon Hall, is limited. 10:30 a.m. Torresdale Library. entrance fee or advance ticket purchase. Abbey. 610-647-2530. $ Pneumococcal, Pneumonia & Influen- Moscovitch. 8 p.m. Verizon Hall, from ‘The Great American Songbook.’ 8 Barnabas Mission. 215-351-1463. Kimmel Center. 215-893-1999. $ 215-685-0494 Free events may request donations or za Seminar. Learn how to protect your- Kimmel Center. 215-732-8400. (Sept. 27 p.m. Verizon Hall, Kimmel Center. 215- West Philadelphia Health & Resource sell items. Please call the number listed self. PSC – Allegheny. 267-286-1455. @ 8 p.m. & Sept. 29 @ 1:30 p.m.) $ 893-1999. (Sept. 29 & 30 @ 3 p.m.) $ Festival. 11a.m. to 3p.m. St. Ignatius for pricing or other details. Rehab Center. 215-349-8800. Send your calendar items to:

ATTN: Milestones Editor Philly Bluegrass Revival. PCA, 642 N. Broad St., Performers include The Infamous 30 Philadelphia, PA 19130 Stringdusters, Del & Dawg, Leftover Phone: 215-765-9000, ext. 5081 Salmon, Jeff Austin Band, Larry Keel Meetings scheduled about upcoming changes to health care in Pennsylvania Fax: 215-765-9066 Experience, Cris Jacobs Band & Midnight Free outreach and education sessions about Community HealthChoices, a state managed-care plan, will be conducted by the Department of Human Email: Flyer. General admission, no assigned Services. Community HealthChoices is the state’s new program for Medicaid-funded long-term services, which will begin for Southeastern Pennsylvania [email protected] seating. 2 p.m. The Mann Center for in January 2019. More than 50 sessions will be held at convenient, accessible locations within Philadelphia through Oct. 19. Translation and other needs Event submission deadline: 25th of the the Performing, Arts, Skyline Stage. will be accommodated and should be shared at the time of registration. For a schedule or to register, go to pcaCares.org or call 1-888-735-4416. month for publication in month after next. 215-546-7900. $ Milestones 14 September 2018

ber through May. Being flexible in meeting Community centers the needs of today’s seniors is key, says Diggs. • continued from page 1 Elaine Gavin, 64, starting coming to WP- use their smartphones (mobile phones that SCC after she retired last February. “At first, have multiple functions similar to those of a I was so excited about retiring. Then I began desktop or laptop computer). to get bored,” she said. “Someone suggested “I have a passion for teaching seniors,” he that I go to the West Philadelphia Senior said. “They are so eager to learn.” Community Center. This place is excellent. Just sitting home, my joints ached because I Nutrition and health wasn’t active. Now I feel stronger – like myself A nutritious lunch has been a core program again. I go to tai chi, chair yoga. I’m taking of senior centers since their inception. At LSH line dancing, Zumba and creative movement senior center, located in the city’s Fishtown classes. section, nutrition is especially important. The “The fitness center is fantastic. I’ve lost center’s Hungry 2 Healthy program includes weight since I’ve come here. I try to come a food pantry with nonperishable items; bi- Monday through Friday. I think everybody weekly distribution of fresh produce and who retires should find a center like this,” other perishable items from Philabundance; Gavin said. monthly distribution of the Share Food Pro- To further promote health, WPSCC spon- gram’s food boxes for seniors; and nutrition sors weekly trips year-round to Reading Ter- presentations, healthy cooking demonstra- minal Market and on-site visits by the neigh- tions and personalized nutritional consulta- borhood Budget Grocer to help members tions by nutrition specialist Candice Li. The access fresh produce. The center also offers center’s nearby urban garden yields fresh a variety of nutrition and health education programs, many in collaboration with local fruits and vegetables for members’ home use. health and pharmaceutical organizations. In addition, nurse Ayesha Pride is at LSH Paola Nogueras Among these programs is “Bridging the Gap,” senior center four days a week to consult with Arvel Bishop works his arms using the exercise equipment at West Philadelphia Senior in which medical students spend six weeks individuals on health issues and provide in- Community Center. participating in center activities alongside formational sessions for members on topics tions Charter School across the street to write “exercises” the brain. “I give people things to members and present health workshops. such as heart health and diabetes. Pride also and act in plays with the seniors under the read and ask questions about. We do puzzles Gavin said she often faces a dilemma at is alert to issues that may lurk below the sur- direction of instructor Denise Worthman. On and play brain games,” Black explained. WPSCC when multiple programs she likes face. For example, one member came to her occasion, performances of the finished plays Black says she’s proof that mind aerobics are offered at the same time. “I have to pick because she was having trouble managing have been staged at professional theaters on and the other PSC – Arts activities she enjoys and choose,” she said. “Sometimes I go to her medications. Eventually, Pride was able the Avenue of the Arts. help her to maximize her strengths. “I just part of one activity and then sit in on part of to elicit the fact that the woman had never Through a merger two years ago, the center had my medical check-up, and it went well,” another. One thing, you’re never bored here. learned to read and could not understand the became home to the PSC – Arts Branch of the she said. “My doctor told me, ‘Whatever There’s always something to do.” directions on her medicine bottles. “I worked Asian Pacific Resource Center (formerly the you’re doing, keep on doing it.’” The lively socializing at the center also ap- with the counselor here to connect her to a PSC – Coffee Cup Branch on S. 10th Street). peals to Gavin. “I don’t know what I would literacy tutor,” the nurse said. “An important That merger further broadened PSC – Arts’ Fitness and fun do if I didn’t have this center to come to and aspect of my job is to build trust.” cultural diversity, since more Chinese- and “Once people get through the door and see people to interact with,” she said. “I’ve made Center Director Meg Finley said services other Asian-born seniors now come to the the kind of activities we’re having, the myths new friends … and I’ve learned from all of like Pride’s are highly beneficial to members. 509 S. Broad St. site. It also resulted in a new about senior centers fall away,” said Julia them. I really look forward to coming here. “Our goal is to help people thrive in the com- arts class there: Chinese calligraphy. Asian Diggs, program manager at West Philadelphia It’s good for me in every way.” munity,” she said. Pacific Resource Center member Xiang Jin, Senior Community Center (WPSCC), 1016 N. renowned for his expertise in this ancient art, 41st St. “They can go to our state-of-the-art fit- *** For more information about PCA-support- An array of arts volunteers to teach the class. ness center and work with a personal trainer, ed senior centers in Philadelphia, see the ad Located at 509 S. Broad St. near many of “Everywhere you go, members are volun- enjoy parties and computer classes, create art on page 21. the city’s performance venues, Philadelphia teering to teach at the center,” said PSC – Arts and go on trips. Last December, we took four Senior Center – Avenue of the Arts (PSC – manager Julie Nelson. “We couldn’t afford to buses to the African-American Museum in Contact Marcia Z. Siegal at [email protected]. Arts) is well-known for its array of creative ac- offer as many activities as we do without our Washington, D.C. Forty-three members have tivities. Among them are stained glass, paint- volunteers.” signed up for a trip to Hawaii … We’re always CORRECTION ing, jewelry-making and tap-dancing classes; Luvenia Black, 96, leads “mind aerobics” thinking of creative things to do.” The website for Max Rivers’ marriage the “Best Day of My Life So Far” storytelling sessions, among her other volunteer activities. In addition to its regular weekday hours, mediation service (“Having the same old and writing group; a robust chorus; and an Senior centers increasingly emphasize both the center is open Saturday mornings for Argument?” – September 2018 Milestones) intergenerational drama class. The latter physical and brain fitness as crucial aspects computer and exercise classes and Wednes- is TheMarriageMediator.net. draws students from the World Communica- to aging well. Mind aerobics challenges and day evenings for line dancing from Septem- The Power of Choice. Your Home Care, Your Way “I can enjoy theI c luxury of living in the community with access to care whenever I need it.” -Ricardo

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-Scooters It’s your home care, your way. Call 215-634-2000 ext. 617 or visit us on our website Call 267-765-1530 for www.homechoices.org for more information. more information Milestones 16 September 2018 Remembering the Holocaust – and educating future generations LEARN MORE. DO MORE. By Barbara Sherf SHARE MORE. Anti-Semitism in the United States is on the rise at an alarming rate. The Anti-Defamation League reports that anti-Semitic incidents in the U.S. surged 57 percent in 2017, the larg- est yearly increase since the Jewish civil rights group began collecting data in 1979. In addition, a poll by the Conference on Jewish Material Claims Against Germany found that two-thirds of American Millenni- als ages 18-34 could not identify Auschwitz, a network of concentration and extermination camps built and operated by Nazi Germany in occupied Poland during World War II. Philadelphia native and longtime educator of Jewish history and culture Rhonda Fink- Whitman is working to educate and raise awareness of the Holocaust among children Courtesy: Rhonda Fink-Whitman and young adults. SM INTERNET ESSENTIALS FROM COMCAST “Holocaust survivors are living history and “My daughter had said ‘Mom, don’t call it giving eyewitness testimony to what happened educational; if you call it educational nobody in Nazi-occupied Europe,” Fink-Whitman will want to read it.’ But even people who have NO CONTRACT said. “Most of them are in their 80s and 90s, studied the Holocaust say, ‘Wow, I knew this, NO CREDIT CHECK and we have to take advantage of this [knowl- but didn’t know that!’ It reads like a novel, and there is certainly something to be learned for $ 95 NO INSTALLATION FEE edge] while we can. I can’t reiterate enough that the clock is ticking.” everyone.” per month + tax IN-HOME WiFi INCLUDED The mission is deeply personal for Fink- When Fink-Whitman heard about a bill ACCESS TO 40 1-HOUR SESSIONS OF Whitman, 54, who is the daughter of a Holo- lingering in Pennsylvania’s legislature in 2013 9 XFINITY WiFi HOTSPOTS EVERY 30 DAYS caust survivor. Knowing that her aging mother that would include Holocaust and genocide was still suffering scars left by the Holocaust education as part of the state’s school curricu- lum, she was shocked to learn that these topics Internet Essentials gives you access to affordable, high-speed Internet. some 70 years later, she decided to go to Ger- weren’t already required learning. Concerned You may qualify if you have at least one child who is eligible for the many to visit the concentration camps in 2007 by reports of young peoples’ lack of knowl- National School Lunch Program or receive HUD housing assistance. with her family. While there, she started jour- naling and made her way inside the world’s edge about the Holocaust, Fink-Whitman set largest Nazi archive in an attempt to discover out to visit a handful of college campuses, APPLY NOW the truth about what happened to her mother armed with a video camera, microphone and list of questions. InternetEssentials.com during WWII. Following a long day at Auschwitz, Fink- She asked students on the campuses of 1-855-8-INTERNET Whitman and her family went back to the ho- Drexel University, Temple University, Penn tel room but were too depressed to eat. Every- State University and the University of Pennsyl- vania, “What was the Holocaust?” “Can you Restrictions apply. Not available in all areas. Limited to Internet Essentials service one but Fink-Whitman fell asleep. for new residential customers meeting certain eligibility criteria. Advertised “I sat down and started writing in my journal name a concentration camp?” “What country price applies to a single outlet. Actual speeds may vary and are not guaranteed. was Hitler the leader of?” “What is genocide?” After initial participation in the Internet Essentials program, if a customer about how Auschwitz made me feel,” she said. is determined to be no longer eligible for the program and elects a different “I used my journal to pen my first screenplay, Much of the resulting video features students XFINITY Internet service, regular rates will apply to the selected Internet service. stumbling over their words. Subject to Internet Essentials program terms and conditions. WiFi Hotspots: which I then shopped around Hollywood, Available in select locations. Requires compatible WiFi-enable laptop or mobile and it did well in screenplay competitions. But Fink-Whitman used the footage to cre- device. Limited to forty 60-minute sessions per 30-day period per person/ ate “The Mandate Video,” which she used to account. If session is terminated before 60 mins. remaining time expires. ... no studio picked it up.” Fink-Whitman, a Unused time does not carry over to subsequent sessions or 30 day periods. Not veteran TV and radio personality, then decided prove her point that mandatory Holocaust responsible for lost data resulting from terminated Internet session or any other education was necessary in Pennsylvania. She reason. A maximum of up to 10 devices may be registered to a single XFINITY to turn that screenplay into a novel, titled “94 WiFi On Demand account. May not be combined with other offers. Call 1-855- Maidens,” based on her mother’s and other worked tirelessly with area legislators until 846-8376 for restrictions and complete details, or visit InternetEssentials.com. the formerly stalled bill passed unanimously © 2017 Comcast. All rights reserved. Jews’ experiences in Nazi Germany. “It wasn’t my choice to write this story … in 2014. The Pennsylvania Board of Education it was my responsibility,” Fink-Whitman said. • continued on page 17

CIE_Consumer ad_Diana_gray_4.875x10.indd 1 11/7/17 12:39 PM September 2018 Milestones 17

Holocaust • continued from page 16 “I met with Bensalem High School stu- dents who read the book for class and has reported that 93 percent of schools now shared with me how they saw themselves provide age-appropriate education about the in the characters and how the story related Holocaust and have promised to work with to their lives in terms of bullying issues and the other seven percent to get them on board becoming more tolerant,” Fink-Whitman as well. said. “They said that it inspired them to be Fink-Whitman has also helped Michigan, ‘upstanders’ instead of ‘bystanders.’ I want to Rhode Island and Kentucky to pass similar education bills. Only nine states have such be an example for them, that one person can legislation in place, and her mission is to make a difference.” seek more co-sponsors for House Resolution To view “The Mandate Video,” purchase 276, a Congressional resolution encouraging or read an excerpt from “94 Maidens,” view all 50 states to mandate Holocaust educa- Fink-Whitman’s speaking schedule, or down- tion. load a free teacher’s guide, go to 94Maidens. Her book is now used in schools around com. the country and is recommended for use in curricula by both the Pennsylvania and New Author, speaker and writer Barbara Sherf tells the Jersey departments of education. stories of businesses and individuals.

through June, are always well attended. The Center spotlight center also has an active drama club, a busy • continued from page 8 gym, a choir and a gardening club. The gar- relationship that was saved as a direct result deners grow vegetables on-site and host nu- of the group discussions. The group has been tritional cooking demonstrations. so successful that they have been invited to Leona Jones said she had always been a other senior centers in the city as a model for plant person but never thought she could starting similar groups. grow vegetables in the city until she learned “I just wish people were more understand- how at Southwest Senior Center. At 70, she ing,” Bond said. “Life would be so much is a daily visitor to the center and now grows easier, but I guess life isn’t always easy.” She tomatoes, peppers and squash on her deck at has “learned a lot about people” since mak- home. She’s quick to show off pictures of her ing friends in the LGBT community. latest harvest on her smartphone. A large number of women at Southwest Lorraine Overton first started coming to Senior Center are involved in the Supportive Southwest Senior Center to work out after re- Older Women’s Network (SOWN), which tiring. Though she still works out three times meets once a week. Every meeting begins a week, she has gotten much more involved with each member expressing how she’s feel- in the center and with other members over ing that day before branching into a group the past 19 years. She now enjoys meeting discussion on a pre-determined topic. What new people through art classes and choir. is said in the group stays in the group, a rule “All of [the programming] creates fellow- that helps to build a feeling of trust. ship and togetherness,” Overton said. “A lot of seniors, especially older women, Indeed, the theme of togetherness is on think they’re the only ones going through full display at Southwest Senior Center, and what they’re going through,” said Barbara not just on the blackboard. Morris, who became active in SOWN almost “There is always a helping hand and a car- immediately after her first visit to the center ing voice here,” said Barbara Morris. “It’s not three years ago. “But you’re not alone. We’re [just] like a family. It is a family.” all in this together.” In addition to being funded by PCA, Southwest Cunningham wants to challenge outdated Senior Center also is managed by the agency. perceptions of what a senior center can be. Baby boomers want something different Michael Hanisco is multimedia communica- from past generations, she said. Computer tions specialist at Philadelphia Corporation for classes at the center, which run September Aging (PCA). Milestones 18 September 2018

Musings on bags, past and present

Exceptional Care By Frank Burd out. I see so many people walking on a daily basis with heavy packs on their back and am in the Comfort of Your Home Today, all the kids have backpacks as they sure that they will be in a chiropractor’s office go to and from school. When I was young, we when they older. They will also have arthritis didn’t use backpacks. We carried our books. in their fingers from the intensity with which For Our Clients: For Our Caregivers: The girls carried their books in two hands they use their digits to text and play games on their cellular phones. • Bathing, dressing, • Competitive Wages in front of them. The boys tucked the books grooming, toileting • Medical/Dental/Life Benefi ts under one arm. Many books fell to the street • Grocery shopping • Paid Time Off (PTO) until someone came out with a thin rubber • Light exercise • Holiday pay at time & a half strap with a clip. • Light housekeeping • Paid travel time between clients Of course, there were some kids who had • Meal preparation • Paid training briefcases. They were the richer kids. I didn’t • Accompany to medical • Personal Protective Equipment have one. I can’t remember how we kept out appointments • Discounts on scrubs & books from getting wet when it rained. Well, • Changing Linens/Laundry protective footwear even if they did get wet, they rarely got dam- • Community Integration • Reward & Recognition program aged because we were required to cover our • Respite • Flexible schedules books. Most of us used brown paper bags, but • Companion Services the richer kids bought covers for a nickel that • Assistance while families are had the names of colleges printed on them. out of town 24/7 On-Call Support Services The boys were lucky. We had pants with lots • Holiday Helpers of pockets and could put wallets and other • Additional services by request possessions in them. The girls wore skirts or or per service plan Wellness & Home Safety dresses that didn’t have pockets. They carried iStock Visits by Staff Nurse purses. We didn’t call them purses; we called There are other bags. I see paper and plas- them pocketbooks. Those girls sure did have tic ones when I go to the supermarket. Some Music & Memory their hands full. markets are trying to encourage the shopper to Program In high school, we didn’t have to carry all bring their own fabric bags so as not to waste our books back and forth every day. But then, natural resources. Those little double plastic in college, I had to carry a heavier load of bags that the cashier put the food in are bad books. We all bought attaché cases – that’s for the environment. They are good for pick- what they were called. They were made of plas- ing up dog messes (for those who do). But FREE Accepting: tic, and we could carry them at our side with they are littered everywhere. I even see them In-Home Services Assessment Medicaid, Private Pay, one hand. hanging from trees like Christmas ornaments and most insurance plans Now, everyone has a backpack. Not only – ugly ones. do my kids have backpacks, but I have them I am trying to simplify and to carry less as well. I have two. There is the regular back- these days. But I don’t want to leave my essen- pack in which I carry the odds and ends of the tials behind. The cell phone has helped a lot, day. The backpack allows my hands to be free. since I needn’t carry my camera everywhere It’s wonderful. For so many younger people, now. The new phones take great pictures. I’ve wearing a backpack helps them carry and stare also bought an iPad. at the phone in their hands as they sit on the The iPad is smaller than a laptop, much train or walk through the streets. For me, it lighter, and fits into another bag of mine – is so I can carry my camera in my hands and a handbag. That bag is brown leather, and I snap pictures to document my life in the 21st bought it in a thrift shop for my daughter. But century. she wasn’t interested, and it sat around for a In the 60s, when I traveled through Europe few years. It has a handle and a strap to put on trains or just hitched, I had a pack on my on the shoulder. I tried it out one day. In it, back. It was called a rucksack. In it was every- I could carry a paper pad, some pens, a book thing I needed for a month in Europe. Hard to or magazine, and my iPad. A friend who saw believe it, but I carried my clothes, my toilet- it referred to my handbag by a new name. She ries, and my notebooks and books. One iPad called it a “man bag,” indicating that many can replace a lot of paper today. men were using them. I’ve come a long way. www.jevsathome.org The other backpack I use now is for when

9350 Ashton Rd., Suite 102, Philadelphia, PA 19114 | 267.298.1325 I want to carry my laptop, my various cables, Frank Burd is a writer of fiction, plays, history and my camera, and papers I may need while I am poetry when he’s not photographing. September 2018 Milestones 19

Ask the Expert Transitioning from institutional to home living QUESTION: I have a relative who went into a nursing home but now wants to live at home again. Are services available to assist with her transition from institutional to independent living? (Anonymous) PCA’s Sean Outen ANSWER: It’s your turn! The Nursing Home Transition (NHT) program tion coordinator who partners with the facility’s pants may be eligible for a variety of home- and assists individuals with the move from a long- social worker to assess the participant’s needs community-based services following the transi- Send Milestones your questions term care facility back to independent living. and develops a discharge plan. tion back to community living. The transition about aging-related issues. We The program, which is offered by Philadelphia The person’s eligibility for transition services coordinator collaborates with community-based will print select questions – Corporation for Aging (PCA), is designed to help is determined on an individual basis through a services? such as the Living Independently for along with answers from experts at Philadelphia Corporation individuals who are facing barriers to such a tran- collaborative effort that can include the partici- Elders (LIFE), Options, Aging Waiver and PCA for Aging (PCA) – in upcom- sition, such as a lack of housing, and cannot be pant, nursing facility staff, the NHT coordinator Domiciliary Care programs, to provide the ongo- ing issues. Submit your name, safely discharged into the community through and others. The team works closely with the in- ing support needed. address, phone number and the normal discharge process of the facility. dividual and other community agencies to plan For more information about the NHT pro- question to: milestonesnews@ When a resident of a long-term care facility for and support the person’s return to the com- gram, contact the nursing home where the inter- pcaCares.org or: expresses interest in transitioning back to living munity. This support may include help in find- ested individual lives. For information or referral: at home, the facility provides a list of NHT coor- ing and establishing housing, modifying a cur- PCA Helpline at 215-765-9040 or pcaCares.org. Milestones Editor, PCA 642 N. Broad St. dination agencies for the resident to select from. rent home to make it accessible, connection to Philadelphia, PA 19130 PCA is one agency that works with NHT program services such as adult day centers or home health Sean Outen is assistant director of Long Term Care Milestones reserves the right to edit participants 60 and older. PCA assigns a transi- care, and training for independent living. Partici- Options at Philadelphia Corporation for Aging (PCA). submissions for print. Milestones 20 September 2018

Empowered death Life and Legacy in 2017, a service where one encourage people to shop a bit. Ask questions. may help them transition more peacefully, if • continued from page 1 can make an audio or video recording instead For example, some hospices offer alternative the medical provider says that sexual activity of a written document as a gift for family and therapies like massage.” See caringinfo.org for is safe,” says Lenore Jefford, a licensed profes- Writing it down friends. “I begin by asking, ‘What’s the one a worksheet to help you choose a hospice. sional counselor and therapist certified by the Developing a plan puts you in the driver’s thing you would say to your loved ones if you Barbara Carr, a certified health education American Association of Sexuality Educators, seat in matters big and small, notes profes- had a chance?’” says Levin, who works with specialist and administrative manager for Ein- Counselors and Therapists, who has a practice sional organizer Rie Brosco, 63, of Philadel- people of all faiths. “It’s an opportunity to re- stein Hospice & Palliative Care, raises another in Mount Airy. “Physical touch and affection phia, founder of RieOrganize!, a company view your life and create deeper bonds in exist- point. “If your health care network has a hos- are great ways to help a sick or dying person whose services include end-of-life planning. ing relationships. I often see a level of content- pice, consider using that one,” Carr says. “That feel cared for.” “A written plan speaks for you when you can ment after people make the recording.” allows your medical information to be ac- Native Philadelphian Constance Garcia-Barrio no longer speak for yourself,” Brosco says. cessed relatively quickly and may shorten the writes about many topics, including black history. Pre-planning brings peace of mind and gets Quick tip: Keeping memories alive time it takes to get the process started. If your some tasks out of the way. “Kathy, a client in You may want to ask your family and friends to health care network doesn’t have a hospice, A continuing conversation her 60s who had a terminal cancer, arranged put together a memory book or memory box for you. they’ll at least know what hospices they’re as- The Death Café is held the last Monday for a party to be held after her death where It could contain letters, photographs, or your favorite sociated with.” of each month – except on holidays – at guests went through the house and chose the music. The book or box would be at hand for mo- Pain tops the list of concerns for many at Barnes and Noble, 1805 Walnut St. It is mementos they wanted,” Brosco says. “It was a ments when you felt alone. the end of life. “Most people fear the process part of a global movement to provide a healing experience for her family and friends.” of dying more than the event itself,” Bishop forum where participants can discuss Deciding about possessions while you still Some terminally ill people opt for a fore- says. “Sometimes we can’t eliminate pain 100 death freely. The next meeting is slated can lifts a burden from your family’s shoulders taste of the end with a living wake or funeral. percent; however, patients have a choice … Pa- for Monday, Oct. 29, 6:45-8:15 p.m. For and often avoids fights. “You can photograph The living wake, which often takes place in the tients may sacrifice being alert in order to have information: meetup.com/Death-Cafe- an item and write the name of the intended sick person’s home while he or she lies in a less discomfort. Then again, you may decide Philadelphia. recipient on the back,” says Brosco, who helps coffin, encourages people to come up to the that you want to be alert in spite of the pain. Videos on YouTube: clients find good homes for everything from coffin one by one and express their feelings It’s an individual choice.” • “The Only Reason We’re Alive” – a pets to stair gliders, which go to the Philadel- about the sick person while he or she can still You may also choose to have a death dou- sweet, sad three-minute cartoon-poem phia Elevator Union to be serviced and passed hear them. la, or death midwife, assist in the dying pro- about an aged couple on to veterans. “It gives you peace of mind.” cess. “‘Doula’ comes from Greek and means a • “Hospice” – a 56-minute discussion Expressing your desires can help you have ‘A good death’ woman who serves,” says Patty Burgess, 62, of about hospice care the end of life you want. “A Center City wom- We can’t always control our illness, but Bensalem, a certified end-of-life specialist and • “My Mushroom Burial Suit” – an an in her 90s had a few months to live,” Brosco we can have an impact on how our lives end president of Possibility of Doing Death Differ- eight-minute video about one ap- says. “She loved cashmere. We went through through our election of hospice care. “Hospice ently, which trains death doulas. “Doulas are proach to green burials her wardrobe and replaced every garment that is the Cadillac of health care service,” says Lori trained in non-medical, emotional, physical The Conversation Project helps you to we could with one of cashmere. She fulfilled Bishop, 57, vice president of palliative and and spiritual supportive care,” says Burgess, discuss your wishes for end-of-life care. It that wish for her last months.” advanced care for the National Hospice and who has worked in hospice and palliative care features a starter kit about breaking the Financial educator David Ramsey of Brent- Palliative Care Organization. “It’s holistic,” for 19 years. “I encourage people to plan their ice and segments about how to talk with wood, Tennessee, suggests taking a proactive Bishop says. “It includes not only physicians support early because it reduces stress. It may your doctor. For information: theconver- stance by creating a “legacy drawer.” The draw- and nurses, but chaplains, social workers, be- be the first time family caregivers have attend- sationproject.org/starter-kits. er should contain all the passwords and docu- reavement counselors and trained volunteers. ed a death, and they may be overwhelmed or My Gift of Grace: a Conversation Game ments your family will need after you’ve died. You draw on a rich network. Medicare pays for fearful. An-end-of life doula can support and for Living and Dying Well is a “surpris- By doing so, you take the reins, put things in this comprehensive benefit, including medica- walk the family through what to expect and ingly fun game about the end of life that order and feel more at peace, Ramsey says. tion and equipment.” help their loved one. In addition, a doula can families around the world are using.” We also have the power to pass along intan- You call the shots by taking two crucial steps, help reframe the death experience from one of It comes with 47 question cards. Ques- gibles to family members as death approaches says Bishop, who arranged for hospice care only sadness to comfort, meaning and connec- tion 15, for example, is “What music do through an ethical will – or Zava’ah, in He- for her parents. “A good death means differ- tion. End-of-life-doulas should listen well and you want to be listening to on the last brew. “Rabbis and Jewish laypeople write this ent things to different people,” she says. “You be clear about services and fees.” day alive?” The game costs $24.95. For document, which states ethical and spiritual have to let hospice know what you would like Finally, don’t limit yourself unnecessarily at information: mygiftofgrace.com/about- values,” says Rabbi David Levin, 63, of Wyn- so services can be tailored to your wishes. The life’s end. “Even if someone is given a termi- the-game. newood. Levin launched Conversations for second point is to choose a hospice carefully. I nal diagnosis, sexual activity and loving touch Children’s books may offer an opening to talking about your death with young Planning ahead for health care people. Consider “When Dinosaurs Die,” by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown, Taking the following steps can help ensure that your wishes these forms, and you can also find them online. Google 1998, to broach the subject of grief and regarding your health care are carried out at the end of your life. “advance directive form.” bereavement. It’s available for about $8 • Prepare an advance directive. This document allows you • Appoint a health care representative to ensure that the in- in paperback. “I Will Remember You: to give instructions about your final health care choices. structions in the advance directive are followed. What to Do When Someone You Love • Consider the Physician’s Orders for Life Sustaining Treat- It can help start the conversation about the end of life if Dies, A Guidebook Through Grief for ment (POLST) form. Signed by a physician, it gives specif- your family has been reluctant to do so. An advance direc- Teens,” 2001, by Laura Dower, is avail- ic instructions that other health care professionals follow. tive document will make your wishes clear. Hospitals have able in paperback. Cost varies.

Milestones 22 September 2018

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If you are SINGLE and If you are MARRIED and Suddenly solo: A guide for the perplexed By M.L. Polak keeping up your furnace, getting its filter have a total monthly have a total monthly changed seasonally, and so on. income of less than income of less than When my dear friend Carol was precipi- A big step in becoming comfortable go- tously widowed after four decades as part of ing solo is making restaurant reservations for $1,518, and less than $2,058, and less than an extraordinarily intertwined couple, not yourself, becoming comfortable eating dinner $14,100 in resources $28,150 in resources only was she overwhelmed by grief, but she re- alone if necessary, then asking for the check. alized that with all her years of being happily And paying for it. Ouch! married, she had never lived alone or taken Finances can be a nightmare, from check- care of the myriad details of running a house book balancing to paying taxes. Keep current, on her own. The obligations and responsibili- and pay utility bills on time. Save receipts. ties of a newly solo lifestyle were alien to her, Don’t get behind. Let an accountant or finan- and somewhat daunting. cial advisor do your annual taxes, but make Carol’s plight started me thinking. Just sup- sure the fee is reasonable. pose you’re older and you become suddenly Sometimes health care is another realm of the unknown if you’re not accustomed to be- If you are SINGLE and If you are MARRIED and single – you’re living alone after a breakup or perhaps after your partner’s death. If you’re ing on your own. Get informed about Medi- not prepared for the change in your status, the care, Medicaid, Social Security, assisted living, have a total monthly have a total monthly aftermath can make your life a living hell, es- living wills, palliative care and other options for the elderly. Make sure you have a will, a liv- income of less than income of less than pecially if your partner took care of … well, ing will, and a designated power of attorney. everything. All by yourself. $1,366, and less than $1,852 and less than I’m exactly Carol’s opposite. Unlike her, I’ve And so you’ll read the manuals. You’ll make been single and on my own for four decades. $7,560 in resources $11,340 in resources the mistakes. And then you’ll correct them. Nevertheless, there are always challenges. No one blames you if the soufflé falls. No Recently, I replaced my DVD player and had one complains if dinner is late or if there is no to set the new one up. Of course, I initially dinner at all. No one questions your choice encountered inner resistance. Oh no! More of music. No one pooh-poohs your primitive useless complexity to fill my head with. As a sound system. No one is furious about crumbs single woman, wouldn’t I really rather have a in bed. No one minds if the cat sneaks under man with the “electronics gene” do it? the covers. Alas, no such animal around these parts. You know what it’s really like to take out And so, in this 21st century of ours, as a single your own trash week after week, even in woman in my mid-70s, I must be prepared to 100-degree weather? Haul all those huge gar- do it all – for survival’s sake. I’ve discovered bage cans and festering Hefty bags and stacks that certain practices make this venture easier of used newspapers and containers of empty – such as getting more organized, doing bet- bottles to the curb by yourself, sometimes in ter planning, and even doing minor “fixes” the dark? Better get used to it! And be sure you yourself when possible. And then, for emer- have folks to confide in when you feel over- gencies, developing a team of reliable, honest, loaded. As my once-and-future therapist says, trustworthy home-repair specialists – carpen- “Welcome to the world.” ter, plumber, electrician, handyman. Learn to speak “repair-ese” without being intimidated. M.L. Polak writes, edits, draws cartoons and gar- Be sure to obtain yearly service contracts for dens in Philadelphia. September 2018 Milestones 23

Don’s Column Crossword Solution The solution can be A veteran’s musings Gamesmanship found on page 5. By Don Harrison the war, Dad,” but he’d reply that war was Across wrong and shouldn’t be glorified. 1 Porgy’s love 22 Wipe out 37 Tingling 55 Grandma Little did I realize, He made one exception; he loved to tell 5 Head of hair 23 Maple genus 39 Makes public 58 ‘‘. . . maids all as a young GI many this story: 8 Beau Brummel 1976 US Open 40 Gander in the in ___’’ eons ago, that years When he was being borne on a stretcher wear champ outfield 59 Twist later, in my dotage, through the Argonne Forest on his way to 13 Fitzgerald 24 Sought office 41 George’s 60 Vane dirs. I’d owe so much to a have his wounds tended to, an enemy sniper 14 Relay, e.g. 28 Gobbler on the collaborator 61 ___ majesty federal agency. In fact, shot a watch off his wrist. 15 Shire, of Rocky line 45 Evict 62 Paul, of comedy I doubt whether I was “It was a good watch, too,” he’d grumble. 16 Mr. Hoople 29 Woolly companion 48 Smell ___ 63 Gridiron aware that the Veterans Administration (VA) That was, of course, the Great War, the 17 Model MacPherson 32 Exams 49 Huckster 64 abbreviations 18 CO resort 33 Mansions Deer on the court Old or young even existed. war that would end all wars. Yet, in the 100 50 65 19 Bengal in the ring Abandon 52 ___ of roses chaser But since I’ve been sidelined by a massive years since, there has been a string of wars stroke, the VA has been invaluable. Thanks the world over – and it’s ongoing. Down to the VA, our house has been refitted, “sit- This is civilization? 1 Punisher 10 High place 32 Skirt part 44 ‘‘I came, ___ over- ter“ services have enabled 2 City west of 11 Four-in-hand 34 Half a Samoan came’’: Shakespeare my wife to continue work- September Song Binghamton 12 ___ Remo, Italy town 45 Turkish hostelry ing and shopping, and VA September is when every- 3 Shibboleth 14 Ump counterpart 35 ___ Ben Adhem 46 Branching: bot. nurses and other personnel thing picks up again — at 4 Letter encls. 20 Optical network 36 Gentlemen Prefer 47 Solution have provided support in work, in school, everywhere. 5 Wild ducks 21 Witch windup Blondes penner 51 Telephones 53 many ways. It’s when the political 6 Twelve ___ High: 25 Art subj. 37 Soup mates Encourage Peck film 26 Famed archer 38 Ovid’s 102 54 Scale notes Yes, the VA has attracted scene heats up, when shop- 7 Comedy man 27 First word of NC’s 42 Monogram of a 55 Cobbler’s tool critics (I guess it comes with pers harbor thoughts of the Herman motto legendary general 56 Good ___! the territory), but I’m not oncoming holidays, when iStock 8 Celebrity 30 Caps capper 43 Islands off 57 TN roofing one of them. summer fades into memory. 9 Travel necessities 31 Chronicle Scotland material It’s time, in short, to get with it. A war story And speaking of summer, what hap- If there was a VA, or its equivalent, during pened to it? Seasons come and go, more World War I, I doubt whether my dad was quickly as we come and go. aware of it. He was in the American Expedi- tionary Forces (AEF) in France until shrap- Milestones Editor Emeritus Don Harrison nel in a thigh ended his military career. served as deputy editor of the Daily News opin- Later, after he’d married and started a ion pages and as an assistant managing editor family, I’d implore him, “Tell me about and city editor of the Philadelphia Bulletin.

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