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AUTODUEL TALES: THE FICTION OF CAR WARS CAR OF FICTION THE TALES: AUTODUEL ® From the Pages of Autoduel ® Autoduel Quarterly Tales The Future Is Back! From 1983 through 1993, Autoduel Quarterly published fiction set in the Car Wars universe, The Fiction of Car Wars bringing the world of futuristic vehicular combat to life. Now, all those stories are back in print! Discover: ▲ A professional whose friends have all been killed by an assassin. Who dies last? 30 ▲ An amnesiac duellist harboring illustrated a devastating secret in his past – and future. stories! ▲ A pizza-delivery driver who takes his mission very seriously. STEVE Over . and more! 200 The world is in your hands. JACKSON pages! Drive offensively – and keep your bookmark handy! Compiled and Edited by Steven Marsh GAMES 1st Edition, 1st Printing Cover Art by Denis Loubet Published March 2020 SJG 7157 STEVE JACKSON Printed on ◬ GAMES ® Demand sjgames.com 7157 STEVE JACKSON GAMES AUTODUEL TALES: THE FICTION OF CAR WARS CAR OF FICTION THE TALES: AUTODUEL ® From the Pages of Autoduel ® Autoduel Quarterly Tales The Future Is Back! From 1983 through 1993, Autoduel Quarterly published fiction set in the Car Wars universe, The Fiction of Car Wars bringing the world of futuristic vehicular combat to life. Now, all those stories are back in print! Discover: ▲ A professional whose friends have all been killed by an assassin. Who dies last? 30 ▲ An amnesiac duellist harboring illustrated a devastating secret in his past – and future. stories! ▲ A pizza-delivery driver who takes his mission very seriously. STEVE Over . and more! 200 The world is in your hands. JACKSON pages! Drive offensively – and keep your bookmark handy! Compiled and Edited by Steven Marsh GAMES 1st Edition, 1st Printing Cover Art by Denis Loubet Published March 2020 SJG 7157 STEVE JACKSON Printed on ◬ GAMES ® Demand sjgames.com 7157 STEVE JACKSON GAMES ® Autoduel ® Tales The Fiction of Car Wars From Autoduel Quarterly Softcover: Stock # 7157 ISBN 978-1-55634-886-0 Version 1.0 – March 2020 STEVE JACKSON GAMES ® Autoduel Quarterly CONTENTS Rise of the Phoenix The Driver’s Seat ................. 3 by France VanLang-Hoang .... 128 And, of Course, It Was Black Effie by Joel Mullins .............. 136 by Jim Lowerre ................ 4 Amateur Night Rerun Serendipity by Leslie Fish ................ 142 by Ramona Richards .......... 10 Right of Way Nightsword by Dan Lambert ............. 154 by John Nowak ............... 22 Angel of Mercy Doppelganger by Laura Tripoli ............. 158 by John Nowak ............... 32 The Return of the Bear Alkahest: The Deathtoll Solution by Andreas Metzger ..........170 by John M. Ford .............. 42 The Bounty Hunter Checker’s Pizza – We Deliver by Kurt Bush ................178 by Brian Upton ............... 54 Living Down Justice BLUD and Guts by Ian Knights .............. 182 by Andrew Egan .............. 64 Meeting the Inlaws Amateur Status by Andrew Metzger .......... 188 by John Nowak ...............74 Mercy Bullet Daddy’s Girl by Karol Szolvani ............ 196 by Ramona Richards .......... 86 Epilogue I’d Die For You by Robert Garitta ............ 206 by Douglas E. Carey ........... 94 Road Trip Repo Blues by Laura Tripoli ............. 212 by Robert Garitta ............ 100 Comeback When Duty Calls by Daveed Gartenstein-Ross ... 228 by J. Chestnut and John Romero ................ 108 Telegraph Road by Ian Knights .............. 234 Don’t Kill the Messenger by Christopher Burke .........118 National Past Time by Daveed Gartenstein-Ross ... 242 Challenge Night by David N. Searle ........... 124 Oldest Trick in the Book by Michael Stackpole ......... 250 2 Autoduel Tales Staff the Compiler and Editor Driver’s Seat STEVEN MARSH Car Wars System Design The year: 1981. There’s a new game STEVE JACKSON revolving around a simple hook. President/Editor-in-Chief STEVE JACKSON The year: 2031. Cars shoot at each other. Chief Executive Officer The game is called Car Wars. PHILIP REED Chief Creative Officer With the game came the broad strokes of a world: SAM MITSCHKE A global collapse. Grain blights. Riots. Bounties on the open Chief Operating Officer road. Arena duels as televised sport. Convoys and courier SUSAN BUENO missions between cities. A motto of “Drive Offensively.” Director of Sales ROSS JEPSON The game begat a support magazine: Autoduel Warehouse 23 Project Quarterly (abbreviated ADQ). The year is either 1983 or Manager STEVEN MARSH 2033, depending on how you count. Project Manager The magazine supported the game, of course. But it DARRYLL SILVA also supported the world, fleshing out the intersection of Production Artist and cheap life and quick death, with fame and fortune in one Cover Design NIKOLA VRTIS direction and – in the other – a post-defeat reboot at a Gold Production Assistance Cross clone bank . if you’re rich and lucky enough. On SHELLI GALEY the side of the road are the metallic husks of former dreams. Proofreader and One of the recurring features of ADQ during its decade- Prepress Checker long run was its fiction. These stories stretched across SUSAN BUENO the entire gamut of the Car Wars universe, ranging from humorously satirical to tragically serious, from noir-esque Artists Cover Art: Denis Loubet to science fiction, from uplifting to heartbreaking. Interior Art: Carl Anderson, Of course, they also included a lot of cars shooting at Michael Barrett, Daniel each other. E. Carroll, Tim Eldred, C. Bradford Gorby, Denis This chronological collection compiles all the stories that Loubet, Karl Martin, Darrell appeared in ADQ (omitting some plotless fictional bits that Midgette, Kyle Miller, Charles were intended primarily to expand the game setting). Oines, Dan Smith, Donald Herein you’ll experience desperate missions, glamorous Smith, Kim Strombo, duels, love, betrayals, death, and the 21st-century conse- Ashley Underwood, Susan quences of failing to find a babysitter on short notice. Van Camp, Jason Waltrip, John Waltrip, Gary Welcome to the world of Car Wars. Washington, George “Speed” Fastening your seat belt is strongly advised. Webber, Charlie Weidman, Lawrence Allen Williams Car Wars, Autoduel, Dueltrack, Boat Wars, Car Warriors, Crash City, Truck Stop, Convoy, Uncle Albert’s, Aeroduel, Autoduel Quarterly, ADQ, AADA, AADA logo , Warehouse 23, the pyramid logo, Autoduel Tales, and the names of all products published by Steve Jackson Games Incorporated are trademarks or registered trademarks of Steve Jackson Games Incorporated, or used under license. Autoduel Tales: The Fiction of Car Wars is copyright © 1984-1993, 2020 by Steve Jackson Games Incorporated. All rights reserved. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this material via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal, and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated. Autoduel Tales 3 Effie by Jim Lowerre From Autoduel Quarterly, Vol. 2, No. 1 “Spring 2034,” first published in 1984 It was June 14, 2033, a date of no par- “The good news, guys, is that your allow- ticular importance except it meant it was ance for ammunition is now $200 a day. time for our monthly meeting and pep talk. And for every two hundred miles you drive ELMAY headquarters was in a fortified on business, the Corporation will pay for industrial area southeast of Old Los Ange- a full recharge.” les, about 28 miles down the big Eye-Five. He paused, then dropped the bomb. By this time in history, the United States “The bad news is that the Corporation Postal Service was as extinct as Tyrannosau- is not going to give us another chopper. rus rex, killed by the high costs of trying to The helicopter we have will still be used maintain service in the face of the current only for calls more than one hundred miles turmoil. Most items the USPS used to han- from here.” dle were now carried by the private courier companies with their airplanes, helicopters, There were no disappointed groans. We and fleets of battle-rigged trucks. They cost had all been expecting this. But none of us more (about a dollar for a one-ounce piece had to like it. Jake went on. going less than 400 miles) but they delivered “I know it stinks, but the brass is paying reliably and on time. good money for you guys to move on the There was, however, an alternative: roads.” ELMAY, or electronic mail. You could “I wonder what Leonard would have take a piece of correspondence, put it in thought of that. Or George.” the ELMAY system, and courtesy of digital The comment caused an uncomfortable electronics, tight-beam lasers, and a satellite silence. Leonard had burned to death in or two, a duplicate of your document would his Piranha after rolling it in a desperate emerge from another machine only thirty attempt at a high-speed bootlegger. George seconds later. had been attacked by a cycle gang that was But these systems aren’t foolproof, and after his tools and parts. He succeeded in that’s why I’m on the payroll of the ELMAY driving them off with heavy casualties and Corporation. I carry a toolcase. got back to the branch only to succumb to My name is Jack Blackthorn; my col- his wounds. leagues call me the Juiceman. I’m an “I miss them more than you know, guys. “effie.” The word comes from the initials But the main concern is getting the custom- “F.E.” – Field Engineer. ers up and running any way possible. Any Jake Brennan, our manager, was address- questions?” ing us. He had been an “effie” for ten years No one spoke. before his promotion, and his body bore “Meeting’s over, now hit the streets!” evidence of the dues he’d paid. A tantalum plate covered a hole in the back of his skull, We finished our various drinks and and his left arm still showed the scars of rummaged through the parts shelves and severe burns.