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THE BRITISH CLUB 189 Sura wonqse Road, Bangkok 10500 Tel. 234·0247, 234·2592 T elex ' 84833 Alcon TH CONTENTS

4 DIARY 6 FROM THE CHAIRMAN B MEET THE NEW MEMBERS 1 2 KNOW YOUR COMMITTEE Richard Hopkins (Entertainment) Terry Adams (Sports) 1 B BEHIND THE SCENES 1 9 CLUB ROUNDUP The Maoris The Thai Night St. Andrew's Society 24 LETTERS 2 7 TRAVEL LOG Christmas in the Cameron Highlands 31 NEW HORIZONS The Orphanage Volunteer Group The Main Thing is .. . DON'T PANIC' 36 SPECIALS An Hour in the Life of TRHs New Head at Bangkok Patana 3 9 SCOFFERIES Don Pepe 42 WELL WORTH READING The Life and Loves of a She Devil Competition Results 44 CHILDREN'S CORNER 46 CROSSWORD PUZZLE 4 B SPORTS ROUNDUP 57 COMMITTEE New Horizons: The Orphanage ACTIVITIES Vo lunteer Group. 5 B

DeSigned and printed by Louis Printing. T el: 21 50926- 9 3 Sat 19 Cricket: BC vs Chiang Mai (30 Overs) : Chiang Mai Gymkhana" Club Dinner Video 6.00 & 8.00 p.m. BC Outing to the Ballet: Sadler's Wells Ballet Company performing "La Fille Mal Gardee" 5.30 p.m. n ,ARY St. Patrick's Ball: Oriental Hotel 7.00 p.m. Sun 20 Cricket : Friendly vs Chiang Mai : Chiang Mai Gymkhana Club Buffet Supper From 5.00 p.m. MARCH Mon 21 BWe Mahjong: Wordsworth Room 9.00 a.m. Ladies' Tennis 3.00-5.00 p.m. Tues Ladies' Golf 7.00 a.m. Happy Hour 5.30-9.00 p.m. Bridge 7.30 p.m. Tues 22 Ladies' Golf 7.00 a.m. BeT presents "Knights and Dragons" at the Bhirasri 7.00 p.m. Bridge 7.30 p.m. Wed 2 B we Bridge: Wordsworth Room 9.30 a.m. Annual General Meeting Cricket Nets 4.45 p.m. Tennis and Squash Club Night From 6.00 p.m. Wed 23 B we Bridge: Wordsworth Room 9.30 a.m. Cricket Nets 4.45 p.m. Thur 3 Ladies' Tennis 8.30·10.00 a.m. Tennis and Squash Club Night From 6.00 p.m. Ladies' Squash 9.00·1 2 noon Ladies' Tennis 8.30-10.00 a.m. BeT Gub Night : Community Services, Soi 33 7.30 p.m. Thur 24 Ladies' Squash 9.00-12 noon Fri 4 St. David :' Day Ball: Hilton Horel 7.00 p.m. BeT Presents--"Cabar'et " at A UA 8.00 p.m. Sat 5 Cricket : Thailand Nations' 6's Trophy: Polo Cl ub/RBSC Fri 25 BeT Presents "Cabaret" at A UA Dinner Video 6.00 & 8.00 p.m. Sat 26 Cricket Nets 2.00 p.m. Cricket: Thailand Nations' 6's Trophy: Polo Club/RBSC Sun 6 Dinn~r Video 6.00 & 8.00 p.m. Buffet Supper From 5.00 p.m. BeT Presents "Cabaret" at A UA 8.00 p.m. Mon 7 BWe Mahjong: Wordsworth Room 9.00 a.m. Sun 27 Cricket: Double Wicket: RBSC/Polo Club 3.00·5.00 p .m. Ladies' Tennis Buffet Supper From 5.00 p.m. New Members' Night/Happy Hour 5.30·9.00 p.m. Man 28 BWe Mahjong: Wordsworth Room 9.00 a.m. Tues 8 Ladies' Golf 7.00 a.m. Ladies' Tennis 3.00-5.00 p.m. Bridge 7.30 p.m. Happy Hour 5.30-9.00 p.m. Wed 9 BWe Bridge: Wordswoth Room 9.30 a.m. Tues 29 Ladies' Golf 7.00 a.m. Cricket Nets 4.45 p.m. Bridge 7.30 p.m. Tennis and Squash Club Night From 6.00 p.m. Wed 30 BWG Bridge: Wordsworth Room 9.30 a.m. Thur 10 Ladies' Tennis 8.30·10.00 a.m. Cricket Ne ts 4.45 p.m. Ladies' Squash 9 .00·1 2 noon Tennis and Squash Club Night From 6.00 p.m. BAMBI Meeting at rhe BC 9.00 a.m. , Thur 31 Ladies' Tennis 8.30-10.00 a.m. Ladies' Squash Sat 12 Cricket: BC vs Colts: RBSC 9.00-12 noon Dinner Video 6.00 & 8.00 p.m. Note : Non Club events in italics Sun 13 Cricket: BC ~s. Chidralada (50 Overs) : RBSC For further information, see Activities Page for contact names and telephone numbers. Buffet Supper From 5.00 p.!"'. Mon 14 BWe Mahjong : Wordsworth Room 9.00 a.m. Ladies' Tennis 3.00·5.00 p.m. Happy Hour 5.30-9.00 p.m. Tues IS Ladies' Golf 7.00 a.m. Bridge 7.30 p.m. PLEASE NOTE! Wed 16 BWe Bridge: Wordsworth Room 9.30 a.m. Cricket Nets 4.45 p.m. Tennis and Squash Club Night From 6.00 p.m. There is a rule which states that Thur 17 Ladies' Tennis 8.30·10.00 a.m. SHOES MUST NOT BE WORN AROUND THE POOLSIDE. Ladies' Squash 9.00-12 noon Please adhere to it I Bwe Lunch at the Royal Orchid Sheraton Gmtact Marianne l ohns Tel. 392-8019 11 .00 a.m.

4 5 From the Chairman " HE Annual General Meeting of the Club this year will be held on Tuesday 22nd T March at 7.00p.m. You will be receiving your copy of the Annual Report for 1987 and Directory of Members for 1988 about two weeks before that. I would like to encourage you to read the Report and to make every attempt to attend the Meeting. THE The Annual Report tells the story of what was a happy year for the Club. Financially we generated a surplus for the first time since 1983 and significantly reduced ONLY Club borrowings and, in spite of an unusually high turnover, Membership held up well WAY TO with the end of year total of 562 at an all-time high. Further substantial improvements were made to the Club property and, with a new Assistant Manager, a start was made ARRIVE on improving Club services with special attention being given to the club house kitchen and restaurant. IN There is still much to be done to secure this position. The operating margins are still tight and very vulnerable to fluctuations in membership. There are likely to be 1988. pressing expenditures required following a comprehensive survey of the Club House, and the Committee is keen to further extend facilities to Members in order to stay ahead of the game in an ever-increasingly competitive leisure/club market. There will be Bri[i$h Airways new Buslneu elMS is designed 10 help two motions presented to the meeting towards this aim, one for a further increase in YOll arriv ~ rendy (0 cit) busillesf. Associate Membership, the other for an increase in entrance fees (not subscriptions I) . On Club World, we're fi ghting Ions haul fatigu e wirh ,) battery of new Details will be sent out shortly. - products and "'rvi cc~ designed t<.J h ~ lp The AGM will, of course, also elect a General Committee for 1988/89. With the you arrive refres hed. We've imrexluccd majority of the present Committee apparently willing to stand (yet) again, this is the 'Slumber Scat.', ergonomi ca ll y de~ i g ll cd to fd a:.; and suppon your entire Membership's opportunity to either turn up and show them your support, or to elect body so you can streIch OU( over the some new (or old) blood. The Club is yours. See you on the 22nd. long _tretches. You will be soothed by steamirlll hot rowd., .daxed hy fine winC$, delighted by dinner 5e. ved regally on Jack Dunford Royal Doulton bone china and indulged by OUr award·winning 5T~ff.

As you r dcstination nea.5, you'll bo: ."ady with our TefTc~her Idl. i,,>id ... you'll find everything to help you arrive looking ynur best.

You'll feel on top of rhe world, even if ~~i y ou'v~ JUSt f1uwn 3( ' 00" mosr of it. The St. George's Ball

April 23rd is St. George's Day when the Bangkok St. George's Sociey wi ll be organising CLUB W 0 R L 0 a Ball for you at the Royal Orchid Sheraton Hotel. Please reserve the date in your diary now and start making up your guest list. The best of English food will be followed by some homespun English entertainment and then dancing to the fabulous Chula Band. British Airways will be offering free tickets as a doorprize and will be flying in Lymeswold and Stilton cheeses as usual, and a supplementary doorprize in the form of tickets to Singapore is being donated by TNT Skypak. Tickets will be on sale shortly at 8750 including pre-dinner drinks and corkage.

BRITISH AI RWAYS -l hC""''OfId~ fa vouritc airlinc. 7' 6 " Meet the New Members

Richard Coats (left! with Jeff Osmond. Richard is from Sydney and is here with the Commonwealth Development Cor­ poration. Richard is single and sporty. He's a ping pong fan (or was it Pat Pong?).

Sue and Chris Green (left) sorting Jill and Bruce Crampton from Me/­ out the finer points of squash bourne, Australia. They have been with David Jezeph. Chris is a here for seven months and run the Wally Thomas (left) hydrologist; here to sort out the International Business Centre. with Pam Rennie. Mekong River and play uhopeless squash'~ Sue is a graphic artist, swimmer and budding thespian.

Martin and Wally Thomas, recent arrivals. Martin is Marilyn and Nathan Bienstock Patana School's new head New Yorkers, who have been here master. Being a true Welsh­ for a year. They are in the jewellery man he is a keen' singer; business. Wally admits to out of tune screeching. Martin is an enthusiastic supporter of all sports but especially those he once played, football, cricket and rug· by. Wally, also a teacher, Donald Ratcliffe (right) with Brian likes reading, sewing, the Heath. Donald is originally from theatre and talking to Montreal, Canada but was a long Chantal and Christian Boutertle (left) with people (sorry Martin, not a time U.S. Marine Corps officer. As Frank Hough - originally from Paris, they beautiful picture). Director of Asia Far East Program­ have been here for 5 years teaching French. mes for Litton Industries lJe has been Christian is also a deep sea diver and instructor. in and out of Thailand for 5 years and has now decided to make Bang· kok his base. 9 8 ,.

Raj Marwah (left) with Patrick Wilkerson, Lindsay Dodds and Mike Ryan - Raj is current­ Alan and Maelynn Ellard - Alan is a Lon­ ly a single Australian, originally from north­ doner and Maelynn hails from near Dundee, west India . He has done a lot of work in though she was born in China. They are Sydney on T. V. and radio, part;culary for independent missionaries and have been in children. Here he writes songs and a Bangkok Thailand for 20 years; lOaf those in Post column on Saturdays. Work? Well, he Bangkok and 10 in Patani near Songkla. said he was in advertising! They have 4 teenage children all in the U.K,

Jeff and Robyn Sharp from Sydney, Austra­ lia, have been here for three months with their four children. Jeff works. for Ciba­ Geigy and is a squash and golf man. Robyn is on the Australian Women's Group Com­ mittee (already) organising Activities. Two of their sons are potential cricketers (hear that Frank?),

Issardas "Mike" Sachdev (right) chatting to Martin Thomas. Mike has a tailoring business. He came here 23 years ago from Bombay origi· nally to join his brother's business. He has two Philip Jackson (right) with Richard Hopkins children, one at I. S. B. and he likes swimming - Phil's sartorial elegance that night drew such and tennis. comment that we had to record it for posterity!

Mark Pease and Khun Surasa k Judi and Mel Leddy had been here for three - in the middle of the usual days . (is this a record?). They've come from New Members bedlam, they 2 years in Seoul, prior to that it was Istan­ managed to concentrate on bul, Mel works for Ciba-Geigy, he has taken what looked like a very over from Les Currie. They have two teen­ serious game of chess. age children at 1.5.8, Mel plays squash and Judi bridge and tennis; she is considering taking up deep sea diving!

10 II "The Mo untain School" Twenty on Saturday night. Bristol where he read was spent unsuccessfully Sunday meant morning Maths and Philosophy, and trying to get promotion and evening church, as formed a rock band. Eith­ ~ NOW YOUR COMMITTEE from Miss Rees's j'D " head choirboy or organist er the philosophy or the column of desks to her or bell-ringer. Happy me­ rock band led him in his "A" column, enjoying the mories of last years of second year to drop out Richard Hopkins story and singing "Now school . include watching and head for Australia. the Day is Over". The Glamorgan clinching the This was in February 1972 Head never let a boy Championship by beating and by December, having (Entertainment) play the school glocken­ Essex on the last ball, spent his savings of £250, spiel, but young Richard Saturday nights at the he arrived in Freemantle got his musical chances in Top Rank Swansea, and with £5 left. The previous the church choir and on holiday steel working in 10 months had been spent St. D.avid's leek-lapelled those pre-service industry getting there through the eisteddfodd days. Eleven­ days. countries of the East, via plus year was the class of . With his Double Maths the Orient Express and lovely Mr. Evans who had & Physics and a place at Venice, real Turkish baths, broadcast with Dylan Tho­ Bristol Uni. , young Ri­ Indian Ashrams and hill­ mas on the BBC. chard in 1969 went to stations, Nepalese trek­ After II-plus it was Rolls-Royce in Derby on a king, Ceylonese tea planta­ Duffryn Grammar school, bursary as an undergra­ tions, Afghani bushgazi, famous for supplying duate apprentice. Here he and one money-short night Bangkok Patana School learnt all about how to in Bangkok waiting for the with 2 teachers and Eliza­ blow up a RB211 jet­ Singapore train. beth Taylor with 1 hus­ engine on a test-bed and After a brief flirtation band. Begowned Harry lots of other more useful with the job of car-park Hydrogen's algebra con­ things, saw his first com­ attendant at the Perth centrated 0 n little frogs puter, the Nice, Rest of Racecourse, he made a jumping between negative the World v. England at fair bit of money having and positive regions of Trent Bridge after a pint a lot of fun as a freelance N the 27th October Silicon Valley, ghosted by pular to Dadcu's railway their x-y inhabited uni­ at the "Trip to Jerusa­ musician in Perth and 1950, in St. David's old ironmasters and box­ carriage bungalow in Aber­ verse (maybe he's now a lem", and bought an old O Darwin. He returned to Hospital, Canton, Cardiff, ing champs and fly-halves porth or the steam-train computer millionaire!) ; Morris Minor convertible the U.K. via Portuguese was born the first of and high tenors, where he to his rectory in Duror pretty Miss Brown taught for £40 to travel the Timor and a cattle ship the three sons of Mar­ learnt "The Lord is my in the Scottish Highlands, us parsing while perching beautiful Derbyshire coun­ to Hong Kong, of which garet Hopkins nee Evans Shepherd" on the piano­ where Mamgu fed the on her desk corner. The tryside. He met his first his only memories are the and Rev. Graham Hopkins, forte, spent the penny the deer, and the kilted Laird major occurrence of these public-school friends who lions outside the bank, the curate of St. John's Can­ barber gave him on 1950's remembered Handel's years was the release of taught him how to eat Star ferry and Chinese ton, where the Archbishop soccer cards, got a Match­ playing of the organ. "She Loves You" by the cold baked beans from a beer. of Wales baptised the box car reward for going In 1959 they moved Beatles. On his morning tin and how to play young lad Richard Andrew to the dentist and ate from head to mouth of paper round young "Hop­ mediaeval wind instru­ Back in Wales, he work­ Beynon. his prunes, dried peas and valley, to the mile-of­ py" would avidly read the ments (unrelated). He also ed as a coke oven opera­ When Richard was two, cod-liver oil capsules duti­ golden-sanded-steelwork "New Musical Express", started pub piano-playing tor until the big steel they moved to Dowlais, fully _ Summers they rode town of Port Talbot, and tune in to Radio at a local British Legion. strike of '74, when he slag-heaped 1820's Welsh the second-hand Ford Po- where the first year at Luxembourg for the Top In 1970 he went to reentered higher education

12 13 ,> at the Welsh College of master, PCC member and Quite soon he was brought Music & Drama, where his later organist at Christ on to the British Club best friend was an excel­ Church, and began his committee with the Enter­ lent Thai violi,nist. By '79 . long [ association with the tainment portfolio and in­ Terry Adams with diplomas from this St. David's and St. troduced many new college, Newton Park, George's societies, BMS, events. He enjoys the (Sports) Bath, and The Royal Coll­ BCT and BCC as player, B.C. and being on the lege of Music, being a rea­ director or conductor of Committee, and while hav­ ORN and bred in Leamington Spa, this sonable performer and a wide• variety of music. ing to ration his time since B qualified teacher, he left By 1983 he was married the birth of Sarah Winne post-war "baby boomer" for a job as lecturer in to Khun Nitta of the and increased professional had, a fairly conventional music at Payap University, British Council, and was a commitments, hopes to childhood . First memo­ Chiang Mai, with addi­ teacher at Bangkok Patana continue on the Commit­ ries are of being taken tional teaching at the CCC School, bemusedly noting tee if re-elected. as a 2 year old to expatriate schooL that the younger the stu­ His professional ambi­ the Recreation Ground Chiang Mai was great, dents and the shorter the tion is to be a Headmaster, opposite the old GWR working hard with his apparent working hours, being interested in curri­ railway sheds by his Thai students, choirs, and the higher the salary! culum development and Grandfather to watch the orchestras, and cycling Later he started the com­ organisation, and he loves trains and play footbalL down to the j, Karen Hut" puter programme at the teaching. As for the British This was only to be ex­ on a Saturday night to school, from narrow be­ Club development, he feels pected as Grandad was by play darts. He never met ginnings to the stage where we should concentrate on then a retired GWR Sta­ that great Chiang Mai they are now trying to on-site development such tionmaster from Banbury triumvirate of Wood-Hud­ help every age and subject, as lawn bowls (maybe on and as a lad an excellent son-Gibson but has fond contributing to making the front lawn), and a athlete and soccer player memories of the MacPhies this school the best in the multipurpose sports centre from St. Phillip's Gram­ needed. Terry took on a even camping expeditions and Rev Bill Yoder of region. for indoor badminton, ten­ mar School in Birming­ morning paper round to to Swindon where he, with Prince Royal College and At about this time still­ nis, football, volleyball, ham. Each of these trips pay for one, but this lead a few companions, was always concluded with a Thai colleagues and stu­ quite-young Richard join­ fitness, and large functions to further problems. He able to sneak round the visit to Leonard's confec­ dents. ed the British Club, short­ which we cannot at pre­ always seemed to draw Railway Workshops during At the end of '80 he ly after the birth of his sent hold indoors. He tionery shop nearby where the 7.00a.m. Mass on their annual shutdown and moved down to Bangkok first daughter, Cathryn believes this will be more the most delicious of Mondays, Wednesdays and gorge himself on the mor­ to Ruam Rudee Interna­ Sian. Visions of being a cost effective and of home made icecream was Fridays, and when the eels inside. His interest in tional School, where he purely poolside or squash service to more members sold - herein lies an ex­ papers arrived late he was this pastime diminished taught mostly Maths (Cal­ member were soon vapour­ than a large green field planation of certain cur­ late for Mass. Thus, at the with the advent of diesel rent gastronomic tenden­ culus, Geometry, Algebra I ised on being welcomed development in the age of 11 years he suffered and electric locomotives cies readily apparent to all and II, Business Maths) to the Churchill Bar by suburbs: the ignominy of being and a growing recognition but also the Music pro­ Mr L. Vize, Mr. R Coom­ He has no immediate who know Our subject. sacked for the first (and that 'Girls' could eventual­ gramme from 7th to 12th bes and other friendly plans to return to the Always ready to join hopefully only) time. ly become a bit of a dis­ grade, and was 11th grade Salt-of-the-Club members. U.K. and is one of the anything, Terry became an This enabled him to traction rather than the Homeroom teacher and Somehow or other he many Committee "New altar-boy at St. Peter's persue his second love previous hindrance to all 7.30a.m. Thai National never attended one of Guard" who are starting tc R C. Church in Leaming­ (after sports) and become things that 'Boys' wanted Anthem choir-leader-gui­ those old and formal mem­ turn grey and go bald on ton when aged 10 years. a cycling train spotter, to do. tar-player. During this bership nights where one their way to "Old Guard" Home to church was four with regular sorties to all Terry managed to talk period he became choir- had to be very polite. status! or five miles so a bike was parts of the Midlands and his way through the 11 + o

14 15 and was educated at Kenil­ Terry was the tenth, Having got well and "Posted to Chloride South worth Grammar School. A suffering from acute bore­ truly into 'logistics and Africa in July 1985, after singularly undistinguished dom and massive frustra­ distribution' he spent the three months he elected scholastic career was brigh­ tion. next 3Y2 years in Manage­ not to stay and was tened by his being award­ He then joined Harveys ment Consulting, specialis­ offered a position with ed a record number of 14 of Bristol Ltd as a Sys­ ing in those areas of activi­ Chloride based in Dagen­ school colours for sporting tems Analyst and enjoyed ty. Whilst his assignments ham. Suffice it to say achievements. six years of happy employ­ were mainly in the UK - this was not what was The first of these was, men t with a wonderful from "tramping round Eu­ wanted, and the tragic when aged 11 and running Company and group of rope's biggest cold store death of Harold Mercer in for Mid Warwickshire people, during which time at midnight dressed up like Phuket in September 1985 Schools in the under 13 's he became Assistant to the the original India Rubber gave Terry the opportuni­ county cross country Chief Accountant (a post Man" to "theoretical re­ ty to return to Thailand championships he came created for him) and, for search for the Chemicals in October 1985 as MD of home in 8th place; this the final 2Y2 years, Trans­ Division of a major UK/ Dale Electric's subsidiary was mainly due to the port and Sites Manager. . Dutch Oil Company", he in Bangkok. fact that the first 50'odd He also started to become also had assignments in Still an avid sportsman, runners managed to go the shape he is today; Dublin (where they have Terry plays cricket, golf the wrong way and he had dining in the Company's the longest TV aerials in the and darts for the BC, wisely followed two local Management Dining Room world, all pointed towards and is the only 'farang' lads from King Edward's with wines and sherries to the UK) and in Tegucigal­ Thai Rugby Union Referee. School in Nuneaton who be consumed daily along pa, the capital city of the With his girlfriend, Wan, did know the way. He sub­ with sumptuous fare took Republic of Honduras. he can be seen running sequently ran for War­ it's inevitable toll. His final assignment for round Lumpini Park wickshire Schools in the the London office of A. T. before dawn on most Terry got married to All England Schools cross Kearney Inc, the Chicago weekdays, but a liking for Thalia during this time country championships based specialist consultan­ food and drink of all and subsequently became and was mile champion for cy company, was for Chlo­ sorts ensures that his shape the proud father of twin Mid Warwickshire Schools ride Shires Ltd in Guise­ daughters Kirsty and Julie, remains almost unchanged at Junior, Intermediate ley, north of Leeds. He from year to year. now aged 14 years. Like and Senior levels. Oh yes, was offered the job of Dis­ He is still very much a many, the marriage didn't he also won an O'level vel French meant no Uni­ Wishing to start his . t~ibution Director to "do-er" and as well as survive the fullness of time prize and was appointed versity. career as a Computer Sys­ actually implement his undertaking his busy "pro­ and the twins live with Deputy Head Boy. He accepted an offer tems Analyst, he joined consultancy proposals, and per job" he is of course Terry's ex-wife in Chip­ Terry claims to have from Westinghouse to be­ the graduate intake of having become thoroughly on the Committee of the penham, Wiltshire. failed only one exam in his come Student Administra­ Rolls-Royce Ltd at their fed-up with living out of a British Club, is Vice Pre­ life, and he failed it again tive Apprentice, which en­ Aero Engines Division in Despite being part of suitcase, he accepted and dent and Treasurer of the and again and """ It was tailed working six months Bristol where he received the largest drinks group in. enjoyed 2Y2 years of hard Bangkok St. George's So­ of course 0 'level French, in various factory depart­ intensive training and a Europe, no one wanted to work which he says were ciety, and is on the Board mandatory for University ments and six months at post in ' their large Systems leave Harveys - further the most stimulating of of Directors of the Rotary entrance in those days. The Polytechnic, Regent Office. Total mismanage­ promotion would have his career. Club of Bangkok South. Despite reasonable to poor St., London, over a four men t lead to the resigna­ been a case of "dead This lead to his posting passes at A'level Pure and year period to be eventual­ tion of ten out of forty man's shoes" and the to Thailand in July 1983 o Applied Mathematics and ly awarded a Diploma in Systems Analysts in a impatient Terry wasn't as MD of the then Chlo­ Physics, the lack of O'le- Technology . five month period, and prepared to wait. ride subsidiary companies.

16 17 ,> IEEHIND THESCENES ROUNDUP

T e Maoris

1i'\Ii' Khun Sirichit Tanathit Admin & Acets Supervisor, employed since 1979

Khun Amporn Pumsri Khun Paisarn Suwandecho Poo/side Supervisor, Churchill Bar Supervisor, employed since 1971 employed since 1976

Khun Sarakit Pongpaiboon House Supervisor, employed since 1966. u/ wonder how long it has been?"

Khun Narong Vodkam Khun YGryos Yuadyong Catering Function '*1 Ground Supervisor, Supervisor, employed since 1983 employed since 1976 j i / Khun Pismai Keoraksa -- --- Restaurant Supervisor, employed since 1976

18 19 The Thai Night , "

20 21 ,- • Scottish Country Dance Band in the Bangkok Well that about wraps up the society news, • Bothy Reel Night. Dance your cares away to except to tell you about the especially merry reel music; gorge yourself on a sumptuous executive dinner I attended the other week. As buffet; bring your own beer and booze; listen the port was being passed round some confusion to the accordian if you're tired, and last but not arose as to who was to pay the anticipated high St. Andrew's'" Society least, listen in eager anticipation as we pull the tab. The waiters were exchanging nervous glances Lucky Draw numbers for fabulous door prizes, as a Scotsman rose unsteadily to his feet and including a trip to Hong Kong donated by cried "Och pass me the bill, Jimmy, I'll pay," "Fair fa yer honest sonsie face Cathay Pacific. I'm so excited I could buy a before staggering off to the little boys' room. round. Seriously, the Band has been performing ~ The bill was paid and the evening voted a great grent Chieftain o'the Rueldin' Race" in Hong Kong at the Muckle Chanters' Ball for success. The next day the front page of the local years and .this is an opportunity you should not paper carried the headline UScot shoots Jewish

miss". Thanks to generous sponsorship from ventriloquist. 1/ • Cathay Pacific, one of my favourite airlines, the ·Finally, they say the Scots are mean, but • ticket price has been kept at a very reasonable what about the Irishman who bought a black and So starts the great poem dedicated to the more famous songs whilst the second act proved. Baht 450 per head. As the event is almost white dog as he thought the license would be Haggis. There was no haggis (and a few of us the highlight of the evening with some good old unique, tickets are available to non-members cheaper. How do you know when a plane has feeling like puddin's because of it) at the Bang· sing·a-long numbers, particularly their rendition through our Treasurer, Mike Masson (Tel: (0) English in it? When the engines stop it carries kok St Andrew's Society Burns Nicht Ceilidh. of "Ye cannie-come-in-the-noo-the-noo" special· 249·0483, (H) 252·6639. Numliers are limited on whining! Ouch! The absence was due to the remarkably mild ly parodied for the Krung Thep cognoscenti. Top so we advise you to book early to avoid the Tarra the noo. Wee Eck. winter in Scotland so far which is not conducive honours, however, must be awarded to their song disappo~tment of missing this exclusive per­ to the beastie's breeding habits. They huddle about the old man marrying the sweet young formance_ together for warmth you see, and one thing maiden and falling asleep on his wedding night. o leads inevitably to the other. This and the The old man was ably played by Bob McEwan, combined efforts of Green Peace and the Inver­ who reportedly bribed the Casting Director a cannie- shove · yer-grannie- aff -a- tuktuk "Tattie bottle of Chivas Regal, whilst the little lassie was Boggle" Preservation Society in stopping the portrayed by the voluptuous Jane Rogers in a annual Auchtertilly Cull has lead to a desperate natty line of °Baby Dolls". She was eventually • • shortage and the rescinding of all export permits whisked away by Bill Burr. for 2 months. We hope to secure valuable sup­ Yes, another 'rare nicht' and thanks should plies of the delicacy for some of our later func­ go to Duncan Niven, rapidly becoming known tions which may cause anxiety to those of you ~~~~ as Bangkok's answer to Lou Grade for putting '/ ' -='"('1 ~ -=>- = '" ~ ~ . ~ with more delicate constitutions. together the evening's action, and more especial­ ~ "t.... 7 ~ ~ ~~ r;hl Tc'7-- ~~ ~ Anyway. to the aforementioned ceilidh ly to the above mentioned entertainers. ~ ~ ( ' ({~QJJc~0r/? t; (rr;~ rt ' ~? which was held in the Siam Inter-Continental The Ceilidh was preceded by the St A­ who appear to be doing exceptionally well drew's Society Invitational Golf Classic where around 30 golfers vied for the coveted trophies. . . -J.n( . I, . /) \ (: !M-. - We . c=- i1 from Farang Functions these days. One hundred \W ;!,tw~ -==- " ' tf-1 I::J and sixty five souls attended and whilst there Winning man for the second year running was was no haggis there was plenty of fun, food and Norman McDonald whilst Kristeen Chappel fabulous entertainm~nt. After a good buffet the (proving she can make music with the golf clubs • • crowd settled in with a few reels and were then as well) and Margaret McEwan took the honours 1)//0[/ " !!j \ ", r /. ~ 0 to enjoy an excellent series of songs and skits, for the ladies. interpersed with more dancing and a toast to After such a 'brill' day one wonders what the Immortal Memory of the Bard himself. The the Society can come up with next. Yet still, " toast was proposed by that doyen of the British your ever diligent committee (cough!) have been ...... ---..:= c . ~ ""2, .-=> ~------". ,~ ~ Club, Dugal Forrest, who ·had researched his beavering away in the promotion of Scottish . r---.. . subject well and showed supreme dedication by culture and have come up for the first time in limiting his imbibation (drinking to you lot) in living memory (well since I've been here) with a ~~ ~ 0iJ;!IIliV the preceeding two· hours. The Society's own 'live' Scottish Country Dance Band. Yes, Lads / three folk singers, Kristeen Chappel, Beryl Mas­ and Lasses mark 7.30 p.m. April 1st at the Narai 'I didn'llhink il would be all beer and skiules." son and !dark (MC) Reid, did two very entertain· Hotel in your diary when the Society will proud· ing spots. The first comprised some of Burns' ly present at enormous expense the Ben Sanders •

22 23 ------..~------'I ,> • Bangkok 16th February 1988 rlfTTfRS Dear Mum, 31 Lane 172, Chuang Ting Road Pine Village, Yangmingshan . Just to confi~m what I told YOU on the phone the other night. Ken has arranged TAIPEI, Taiwan your tickets from thIS end and you should receive them soon. We're all looking forward to seeing you both again. Dear David, 1st February 1988 You probably saw on the TV that Prince Charles and Di were here recently. They had a reception for the Brits at the Oriental and we stood in line to shake hands We are writing this letter to say farewell to everyone and a thank you to all with them. After that they wandered round chatting to people. They didn't come over members and staff of the British Club for helping to make our stay of 4\1, years in • and speak to us, but I did manage to overhear Princess Di talking to a group near me. Thailand so enjoyable. . They seemed very nice and natural, but it was hot in there. After all, we're used Suffice to say that the Currie family leave Bangkok with regret, in particular to It but what about them? I think they went well together. Ken got a bit steamed up we will miss the friendly atmosphere of the British Club. (Not to mention sorrow that about all that rubbish in the 'British Press. He says he heard that Fergie, when she went Leslie will be unable to pick up his regular snooker pocket money on Thursday for a skiing holiday in Switzerland was called up by a reporter in the middle of the night evenings'!) However, in totally 'a-typical' Scottish behaviour, we have left our deposit who asked how long she had been pregnant' Bloody cheek, Ken says. He says she should so be warned, we will return! have answered "about 10 minutes'" Through OUTPOST we would like to send warm regards to everyone and should anyone Anyway I must dash to pick the kids up. See you soon. wish to visit Taiwan our home address is as above. Love from us all, All the best, Mandy Leslie, Margaret, Eilidh and Fraser Currie. •

Orpington 31st January 1988 Dear Mandy, 1st February 1988 Dear Maren,

Good news! I think I've persuaded Dad to come over with me in April. He Is this the only person to be correctly attired on the tennis courts? won't fly on April Fools' Day so we'll probably come on the British Airways flight arriving on Easter Sunday, that's the 3rd. Mrs Waller has agreed to look after the dog and the cat and her daughter will feed the chickens. She can do with the pocket money. I mean the daughter, not Mrs. Waller. We heard about some problems on the border. Fighting and airstrikes. Dad was suddenly keen to Come over and make sure you're alright and not in any danger. It's , an ill wind. Meanwhile things are O.K. here. We've had warm weather and cold weather which has caused more problems with the allotment than anything else, and so far We've both been keeping well. Please let me know if April 3rd is alright and whether we can stay until 20th or so. We've got to be back for Sandra's wedding on 23rd. She's marrying a chap called George from St. Albans. Bye for now, give Ken and the kids a kiss from me. Marion Rutter All my love, • Mum. 24 s

Maren, I thought this might be of interest for OUTPOST? 6 RAVEllOG Christmas in the ~ Cameron Highlands E decided a long time W ago that we wanted to do something different for Christmas this year and, after some consideration chose to go to the Cameron High­ lands. We had never been there before and, at the time we were deliberating, knew of no-one who had. Therefore we had to chose a hotel to stay in 'blind', a situation I never like being in, but after due consideration of what infor­ The things that give you wind mation we could obtain (9-nd it has to be said that very little information was forthcoming Ye Olde Smokehouse Hotel " ... fashioned to the style of and indigestion from any direction - travel a typical Devonshire Country House Hotel ... " \ agent or Malaysian Tourist -f Board) we settled on a place all gathered at Hua Lampong time for the special Christmas , can now go back on the menu.· with the titillating name of station geared for the journey dinner that was scheduled for , "Ye Olde Smokehouse Ho­ and well armed with cold beer, that evening. What happened in n tel . champagne and snacks enough fact was that SR T decided, .l Rennie has built its reputation on gi ving fast acting and , There was to be a party of . to last the entire weekend! when we reached the Malaysian effective relief from indigestion. Now ne ....· Rennie Plus offe n; you five of us altogether, Sriwan D~parture was at 3.15 p.m. border, that we were so late equally quick and effective relief from both indigestion and wind. and me, Andy Hawkins (in At least that was SRT's plan that the train would venture no Its dual action formulation has been prescribed by doctors search of some R & R from until some idiot derailed a further but would await the his teeming life in BKK) and coach at the points just outside homeward bound connection for the last t S years. ( . two friends of ours from our platform. Five hours and from Butterworth so as not to It contains acid neutralisers and de-flatulent ingredients Enland. Travel arrangements most of our stocks of booze be late on the return journey which provide fast relief from acid ind igestion , nervous indigestion, . , were left to me and with true later, we finally pulled out of as well!! As a consolation they wind, heartburn, acidity and dyspepsia. Scottish bent I found the the station at the beginning of told us that the same connec­ You' ll fmd these pleasant minty flavoured tablets are now prospect of a long relaxing what was to prove one of the tion would return to Butter­ train journey particularly at­ most harrowing journeys any worth and we could, provided widely available. So don't wait until you need them to buy them. tractive, especially when the one of us had ever undertaken. we were prepared to wait fare was about half that of The train should have arrived some three and a half hours, flying and exit tax was not at Butterworth at noon the continue our journey in it! payable in to the bargain! next day after which a five Thus, we had little alternative Thus, 3.00 p.m. on Wednes­ hour taxi journey would have but to arrange taxis to take day 23rd December found us got us to the hotel in ample Best Regards, us the remainder of the way. Alan Barlow 26 27 ,.. This we did and soon were off .. club house. It boasts such disappears below ground level golf and to relax in a small and on a journey which took nine diversions as badminton, tennis never to be seen again and this comfortable hotel. It came as hours to complete during and table tennis, snooker, TV happens even in the middle of an added premium that the which fate appeared to throw and video films. The Straw­ the fairways! One word of hotel we chose should match everything it could find at us berry Park complex, situated warning, it seems to be a rule our objectives so well and - traffic jams, accidents, tor­ some distance away, offers 168 of the course that non-players prove to be so friendly and rential rain, you name it we rooms of " appartotel" type are not allowed to accompany welcoming into the bargain. had it! I t was five very tired, accommodation of varying players. Andy was told he frustrated and depressed peo­ sizes with similar facilities to would have to pay the full Prices: ple who arrived at Ye Olde the Merlin, bu t with the added green fee if he wanted to walk Smokehouse that night just delight of a disco' round with us! Strange indeed, A room at the Smoke­ after 11.00 p.m. each one of The Cameron Highlands its not as if it is a champion­ house, service and tax includ­ us convinced we should have themselves form the northern­ ship course or even a crowded ed, costs around Bt980-2,420 stayed at home. .. most hill station of the Malay­ one, but there it is. for a single and Btl,100- Upon arrival we were met sian peninsula. They stand All too soon our holiday 3,450 for a double, according by the Assistant Manager, around 4,500ft -above sea ' was over and our return jour­ to season. Obviously living Daniel Sebastian and several level and boast a climate that ney loomed. Chris, our friend costs will vary, but we lived of his staff, the warmth of offers, throughout most of from England, in a moment handsomely there at a cost of whose welcome was surpassed the year, a considerable relief 'of sanity had declared a around Btl,2oo per head per only by the delight we all felt from the humid heat of the return journey by rail a HNo_ day. upon finding they had kept our lower regions. In the winter No" and, ably assisted by A room at the Merlin is Christmas dinner for us and season it becomes positively Daniel Sebastian, had managed advertised at around Bt920- insisted that we sit ourselves cold at night and even during at extremely short notice to 1,450 for a single and Btl,040- down and commence our vaca­ the day something more than procure five seats on a plane 1,550 for a double, according tion in the way it had been light tropical gear is usually from Penang. At 6.30 a.m. on to quality. Similarly, prices at planned. Nothing was too Warming up before dinner required. Winter is also the Tuesday 29th, therefore, we the Strawberry Park are shown much trouble and, although (And who"s ever seen AndV in a suit before!?) rainy period and showers, some bid a sad and fond farewell to as varying between Bt1)600 travel weary and looking for­ spoon against bone china. The heard after 6.30 p.m. in the • • quite heavy, should be expect­ the Smokehouse and set off on for a twin room, Btl,960- ward to our beds, we managed food was good and plentiful dining room and their pre­ ed each day usually in the the five and a half hour taxi Bt3,100 for 1-3 bedroomed to do justice to a very fine with a wide enough variety sence in the public rooms after afternoons. The area offers a ride to Penang airport. Two flats and Bt3,570 for the meal and not an inconsidera­ offered for each meal and for that time is also not encou­ wide variety of healthy pur­ hours later we were the first penthouse. Living costs I am ble quantity of good house those with robust enough appe­ raged. A splendid rule for suits from rural and jungle cars to be stopped by a road not able to report on. wine. tites there was even Devon­ those of us without, but ob­ walks to tea estate visits, block erected to facilitate the Ye Olde Smokenhouse is shire cream tea served in the viously a drawback for those from trips around colourful clearing of a rcx:k fall and were How to get there: fashioned to the style of a afternoons. The service was with! Even older children may flower nurseries to a butterfly sent on a one and a half hour typical Devonshire country excellent and friendly even find the atmosphere and the farm and from lake fishing to detour! After the rigours of By Rail: (for the brave!!) house hotel and its surround­ though a trifle overstretched at lack of amusements not to golf. our journey down, it should Trains run daily between Hua ings, with the exception of peak times and nothing appear­ their liking. Ye Olde Smoke­ Four of us spent much of have been no surprie to any of Lampong and Butterworth. one or two palm trees, also ed to be too much trouble. house is designed to offer a our time on the golf course us that we missed our plane, Journey time is scheduled at lend to that illusion. The bed­ If a criticism is to be found relaxing break in peaceful, • although we did find time to but 1.30 that afternoon found approx 20 hours. From But­ rooms, of which ther~ are 20 at all it would be that, con­ comfortable and friendly sur­ visit a tea estate and a nursery. five hot, frustrated and to~ally terworth the taxi ride will each with their own bathroom' sidering the room prices charg­ roundings and those seeking Andy, being a non-golfer, spent dismayed people boarding the take a further five hours. are comfortably furnished i~ ed, the quality of the bath­ more than this should look much of his time wandering express at Butterworth bound By air: You can fly to old style furniture (ours even rooms and their fittings needed elsewhere. the jungle trails or reading a for Bangkok' Penang or Kula Lumpur and boasted an old four-poster') can then either fly on to Ipoh improvement. I am assured There are one or two other book by the fire side. Apart from the travelling, and the pu bUc rooms are however, that this aspect is on~ places in the Highlands which The golf course is a full 18 which if all had gone according followed by a two and a half similarly attired. The atmos­ hour taxi ride or take a taxi about to receive attention. offer more in the way of a hole course with real rough to plan would not have been phere was one of old fashioned direct which should take Just Ye Olde Smokehouse is family holiday. The most note­ and is consequently quite a ball a problem, the holiday turned peace and quiet broken occa­ over five hours. not a hotel designed for chil­ able is the Merlin Inn Resort. eater. This is made worse out to be what we were look­ sionally by the crack of a log dren, however. In fact it is a This is a larger holiday type during the winter season by the ing for; a quiet time in a cool burning in the large open fire Dugal Forrest rule of the house that children hotel with 65 bedrooms situat­ ground being very soft with the and different environment with place or the rattle of a tea- should be neither seen nor ed very close to the golf • consequence that many a ball the chance to enjoy a little o

28 29 ,> ~EW HORIZONS The Orphanage ' . Volunteer Group

RIS retired to Thailand I from the USA five years ago because she liked the place and its people. She had been warned that she ought to find ~ome regular activity once she gave up work, or she would find that the sudden lack of routine after 35 years would come as a great shock to her system. So, she started to visit Pakkred Babies' Home. One day she came across a baby, Somsak, who was obviously very sick. An Ameri­ can doctor who was visiting the Orphanage told her that Somsak had a. brain tumour and had only a few months to live. Iris decided that Somsak deserved as much Rachel with Sud•. devotion as she could lavish upon him. Somsak is now 4 Many of them are housed in overworked staff member to If you're flying KLM's Royal or Business post the coupon or contact KLM at 2 Patpong and Iris reckons that his was 24 government and 4 private every 27 children at Pakkred. Class on an intercontinental trip via Road, telephone 235-5155. the only tumour ever to have orphanages. Imagine the daunting task of Amsterdam then discover something new - been cured by love and a diet At Pakkred, the government feeding and bathing twenty Stay-on-the-Way. of yoghurt! funding allowance is approxi­ seven six-month old babies! r------.Yes. 1 would like to Stay-on-the-Way free of charge. I I Twice a week, a multina­ It's a special offer from the Holland I Please send me full details I mately 12 Baht per infant, So, it is easy to see that the Promotion Foundation that'll show you a little tional minibus-load of volun­ per day to run the home, based children receive no individual I Name HH HH..... ·..H······...H.. . H ... I of Amsterdam as well as break your journey teers visits Pakkred. They give on a total number of 200 attention whatsoever. on the way. I Address...... I desperately needed attention children. If there are more than The children, who are aged I ··· .. H.H ... H .. H··········.HH. . I and stimulation to as many 200 at anyone time, funding between 0-5, spend much of You'll get a free hotel room for either one infants as they can handle. does not increase proportional­ their day in their cots or are Send to: I night or one day in a top Amsterdam hotel, a I But this barely scratches the ly. Currently there are 260 left to play in a bare room. 40 guilders meal voucher (approx US$15), plus I KLM.. 2 Patpong Road, Bangkok 10500 I surface. "well" (not classified as handi­ They display many symptoms L.. ______. ___ ...J free bus transfers from the airport and back. There are an estimated. capped) children at the home. of neglect: head banging, list­ Fly KLM via Amsterdam Airport Schiphol. 10,000 orphaned and aban­ Underfunding means chro­ less staring and often their And Stay-on-the-Way. We'll give you an ••+•• doned children in Thailand. nic understaffing - there is one physical, emotional and intel- Amsterdam good time. Ask your travel agent, - The Reliable Airline KLM 31 Royal Dutch Airlines I' • The Main Thing is .... DON'T PANIC I

"There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings." (American proverb) .

HOEVER dreamt up W the above proverb ob­ • viously had never been through a Saturday like the one my wife and I had imme­ diately before last Chiristmas. Considering we have been

married since 1981 J it is diffi­ cult to see how it applied to Somsak. lectual development is severely us. stunted. It started as a perfectly On the positive side, chil­ normal Saturday. Fumiyo was dren who can spend some expecting our son (something time with a volunteer respond we knew already from the astoundingly rapidly to "ten­ ultrasound) on 19 January and der loving care", They greet was at that stage of pregnancy the volunteer with great delight where you get bored with it and quickly pick up all the all - being tired, large, and skills that they lack (eg. slow. With an inquisitive and sitti,ng, walking) when encou­ active eighteen month old raged. Visiting the children daughter already, she was find­ regularly is very rewarding. ing the whole process a bit Some children are adopted tedious. In addition, the ultra­ or at least go to foster homes sound indicated that the boy and this is obviously their was following in his father's best chance in life. The main .ttl- ,r~ .~ family's footsteps by being aim of the Project LIFE big. Foundation is adoption of the Chen We had finished lunch and orphans, but in addition the for donations. It costs 4,000 the Ambassador by 11.30. I had retired to watch a video Foundation provides' money Baht to run the service for a Previows experience with chil­ and enjoy a quiet post· lunch for additional staff and for month. dren is not necessary. coffee. Emi, our daughter, was sponsoring the Minibus that Secondly more volunteers If you would like to give a having her midday nap, so all transports the volunteers from are desperately needed. If you donation to help keep the was quiet. Fumiyo came in was probably that common we had better get a move on the centre of Bangkok out have a couple of hours to minibus service going, please complaining of abdominal complaint amongst pregnant and head for Samitivej. As to Pakkred twice a week. spare on a Tuesday or Thurs­ contact Kate Herbert pains. However, these did not women - wind. 15 minutes we were later to realise, she There are two immediate day morning and would like to (286·9945) or Rachel Dance resemble those you get at the later I returned to see how was now having a contraction problems facing the Orpha­ help, come along to the bird (258·1516). They would also fir.st stage of labour, and she things were, and it was obvious a minute and pillow-chewing nage Volunteer Group. The cage area at the Ambassador be pleased to help if you have ought to know about these that something was afoot. was the order of the day. first is that funds for the Hotel (Sukhumvit, close to any queries about visiting the" things as she had been through Whatever was going on, Fumi­ Pausing only to collect the regular minibus service have Soi 11) at 8.30 a.m. to join Orphanage. all this once before. I suggested yo was in no mood to discuss necessaries to get checked dried up. So they are looking the bus. The bus is back at she lay down for a while as it the possibilities at this stage: into Samitivej - American o •

32 33 Express card, passport, etc - I (which I will not describe to obviously looking for an looking well and crying heal­ But there was still one 'tear of cars in later life. For summoned the maid and we preselVe my wife's modesty) address along there. If the • thily. The docotrs were appa­ necessary task for me - do those of you who like a bet, managed, with some difficulty, and there were obviously two driver is reading this article, rently more concerned with what we were going to do that my staff tell me that lottery to get Fumiyo down to the occupants of .the b, "I<-seat. I hope he will accept my apolo­ trying to prescribe Valium for afternoon anyway. So, at 3 tickets with 6137 (the car's car and laid her on the back What to do now? gies for the various rude me, saying that if I had been p.m. you may have seen me registration number) are a good seat. About thir ty minutes It is at times of crisis that gest'ur~s and abuse he received Thai I would be having a wandering around Villa doing buy. had now passed since the the human brain operates with from the apparently demented nelVOUS breakdown by now. the weekend shopping. A 6 weeks after all this we first sign of trou ble. surprising clarity and also 'farang' driving the blue Fumiyo would be up and somewhat unreal end to an have now got back to nor­ Off we set. To get to dredges up apparently useless Peugeot with all its lights on. - I walking about within 2 hours exciting day. mali ty and as you can see from Samitivej from our flat is best bits of information tha t are There being no possibility of and everyone would be back Raymond was 2.8Kg at the photo, everyone is doing via the j'green route", but we actually of use. The options overtaking safely, we could home on the following Wednes­ birth. It remains to be seen if well. Emi thinks the baby have to go down Asoite and were obviously three: only encourage him to speed day. he suffers from an irrational is another toy, like the cats! along Sukhumvit to Soi 33 to 1. Panic - not a viable up as he showed no sign get back on to it. Itwas, al temative; of pulling over. Ian Boulton. fortunately, a Saturday so the 2. Stop and try to do some­ At last the home straight. o traffic was not too bad, but thing. This was rejected be­ Calm words of encouragement I must say I did not drive with cause we do not carry ob­ to the couple in the back seat. .". my usual care. Headlights and stetrics equipment in the car. Baby was looking OK if rather From the rumour mill, we have the following item of news. '. hazard warning lights, plus In fact, all we had that was messy. Fast turn into the In the later and more mellow h~urs of the "Burns' Night celebrations, the St. constant use of the horn were remotely useful now were forecourt. I decided against Andrew's Society made a welcome decision to sponsor its own version of the British two jumpleads and a towing utilised. The running commen­ taking the proferred car park Club's Happy Hour. It was proposed that the Society would provide a free drink for tary from the backseat was by cable. Option 2 was rejected; ticket and I think the guard all members of the British Club who are present in the bar between 03.59 and 04.00 now indicating that we were 3. Plough on to the hospi­ ran a risk of losing an arm going to have to move pretty tal as fast as possible. I still with his enthusiastic method every February 29th. However, in face of a threatened resignation from B*b Mc*w*n fast to get there in time and remember at this pain t recall­ of offering it. Stop outside over this unprecedented generosity, a compromise had to be found. It is understood so Soi 33 was negotiated ing with amazing clarity, seeing Out-patients, further words of that all sides declared themselves satisfied with the final agreement, which was to at speed. a BBC documentary about the encouragement to the back adhere to the original proposal, but to defer any announcement of it until 1st March. If this had been London, bushmen of the Kalahari, in seat passengers, a quick sprint t. the usually recommended which one learnt that the up the ramp, and it was all bush women give birth, lay the Also from the rumour mill, the following was overheard around the poolside one course of action at this stage over for me. Nurses and afternoon, would be to find a passing baby on the warm sand and doctors appeared to perform UBobby" who, I believe, are then deliver the afterbirth mopping-up operations. Baby ... "Is Mike Ryan looking for a job?" trainied to handle this type of before cutting the cord. This was wisked away to the nurse­ emergency. A brief consider­ was being considered by a Lon­ ry to be checked out, and then, tion of following a similar don teaching hospital as a behind a waU of sheets to course of action was rejected method to use as they felt it preselVe her modesty from the as I had no idea if the same would make delivering the 150 Out-patients and their applied in Bangkok and I did afterbirth easier. Later reflec· families who had come out to not propose to use this occa­ tion showed that this program­ watch, my wife was extracted sion to find out. We entered me must have been 15 years from the car and taken in for • the ('green route" orice more. ago. Conclusion - if the baby repairs. I was left to sort out Things were obviously hot­ was breathing, no problems the bureaucracy and then wait. ting up in the back seat, and with the cord round the neck, At times like this I wish I the road was clear. At this best to soldier on as fast as was a smoker. stage I was not inclined to possible. Fumiyo was eventually watch too closely as driving By now we were passing taken up to the 3rd flOOr and at speed in Bangkok while L 'Opera, and negotiating the settled into her room. The looking 180" in the opposite chicane that leads in the time from start to birth had direction is not recommended cross soi leading to Soi 49. about 45 minutes, and it was practice. There then followed a Here we hit our first problem. by now only 2 p_m. Nobody fascinating series of sound­ A white BMW was proceeding seemed to be suffering any effects from the back seat slowly along (about 30 kmph) after-effects with the baby • "He doesn't say much, but he bristles a lot."

34 35 ,. • ~ PfCIAlS New Head at Bangkok Patana An Hour in the Life of TRHs An interview by John Hoskin EBRUARY 4th 1988 F was a very special day for many British people liv­ lending library." • R Martin Thomas, re­ A teacher for the past 23 ing in Bangkok. Their Royal M cently appointed prin­ years and with professional Around the central resource Highnesses Prince Charles and cipal of The Bangkok Patana qualifications from the univer­ unit, Mr Thomas plans special Princess Diana "came to see School, has views on educa­ sities of London and New· learning areas for, among us" - or rather, we went to tion that many children would castle, Mr Thomas is well others, science, craft design see them. doubtless like to echo. versed in both the academic and technology and art. Since His Excellency the British and administrative spheres of Patana has pupils representing "Schools should be knock­ Ambassador and Mrs Tonkin education. Prior to moving to more than 30 nationalities, ed down every 20 years, II he hosted a reception at the Bangkok he worked at the special emphasis will also be says. "Educational needs Oriental Hotel. The surround· Pendower Teachers' Centre given to teaching English as a change and schools should be ings lavish, expectations soar· and served as an inspector and second, third, even fourth rebuilt periodically to meet ing, but the format simple. advisor to 24 schools in the language. There will also be current requirements. " The hotel lobby was crowd­ Newcastle area of northern vastly expanded sports facili­ In this respect he is the right ed and the atmosphere elec­ England. ties. man in the right place at the tric; everyone full of neIVOllS • With three grown up chil­ Mr Thomas is further com­ right time. Patana is in the excitement at meeting the heir dren, he and his wife, Wally, mitted to having a purpose­ to the British throne and his throes of preparing to move also a teacher, were looking built kindergarten_ "You've got beautiful wife. The array of from its present cramped eight. for fresh challenges when they to catch them young, and this Thai silk and Jim Thompson rai site on Chuaploeng Road saw the Patana job advertised is a rich seam to tap. Studies ties was amazing - the colours to new premises scheduled for in the British educational press. show that good nursery educa­ 1990 on 25 rai of land in the superb. The hubbub of the "It was perfect," he said. "It tion improves learning abilities press and general public (most­ Phatthanakan area. offers the exciting opportunity and attitudes later on, " he ly American) trying to get a Topics of conversation rang-"" long enough to be away from Mr Thomas, 44, is no of working in a multi-national said. glimpse of TRHs added to the ed from group to group, but them." stranger to the enormous task ~chool with the age group I've Although he has got his scene. the weather seemed to pre­ On his way out of the of establishing a new school. specialised in (Patana takes sights set clearly on how he Everyone was ushered into dominate - what else would reception Prince Charles spot­ "I've done it once before in pupils up to 13 years), plus the would like to see Patana de­ the Authors' Lounge and true Brits open a conversation ted either a face or a tie he • England and found it a very incredible chance of setting up velop in its new premises, reception rooms for cocktails with? Prince Charles spoke, knew, and said it belonged exciting experience. To have a new school" Mr Thomas has already been where they eagerly awaited among other things, about the to someone he was at school a second opportunity in one Only in the job three weeks, impressed by what he has seen instructions. They were to commercial world in Thailand, with. Who was the lucky chap, career is almost unbelievable. Mr Thomas is already hard at at the school. "I've noticed form a line, shake hands with and about the traffic and how perhaps he could write an I'm thrilled at having the work planning and preparing much less aggressive compe­ the royal couple and return people coped with it. Princess article for OUTPOST?! chance," he said. for Patana's move. His first tition here than you would to the reception rooms where Diana about her wonderful On behalf of all . those Without a head teacher priority in the school's new see in an English playground. Prince Charles and Princess yisit to the Grand Palace and lucky folks who were there, since the departure of Duncan design is a central resource Older children seem to look Diana would II mingle ". This is forthcoming trip to Chiang a big thank you to the Ambas­ Lawson in early 1987, the building "where children will after the younger ones and this exactly what happened with­ Mai. She told one group of sador and Mrs Tonkin for a SOO-pupil Patana School is have access to all sorts of I'I1 continue to encourage. The out a hitch and soon the royal ladies how much she missed day we'll never forget. now looking at a bright future information - written, film, main thrust should be for couple were chatting Quite her children, and of a long as Mr Thomas injects fresh video, microfiche and sound, youngsters to learn together, easily with the "Brits of telephone conversation from A True Royalist. • experience at a crucial time. as well as the traditional internationally. It's a superb Bangkok." Australia - Ilthree weeks was o

36 37 opportunity as it creates con­ professional freedom. Their been here 10 years instead of " fidence and lessens macho na­ contribution to the school is just 10 days. " • • tionalism or parochialism," he vital. " If the enthusiasm and con­ said. Talking of tljeir wel"l'me in fidence in the development of Asked what he considered Bangkok - their first'time in the. sc.hool as expressed by Mr ~ COFFERIES was the main role of a school Asia - Mr and Mrs Thomas Thomas is any indication, principal, Mr Thomas replied, said they have been I'over­ youngsters at Bangkok Patana "To provide leadership and whelmed by the friendliness of are heading for a bright start direction. But I also feel it's everyone and feel immediately in life. very important to give the staff comfortable. It's as if we've o

•

TAI"AS COPAS

It's rather late in the day for FLAMENCO New Year's Eve pictures but Ethel and Bert Hobson don't make it to the Club very often so - here they are. URING the last few years there has been his skill in the gambas al ajilo (shrimps fried with D a phenomenal growth in places of enter· garlic) because they were indeed superb. We then tainment. Allover Bangkok restaurants and had escalopinas a las ovas, and Pallo a la chilli . • bars have blossomed. One such area in the Veal and chicken, to those french speaking past two years has been Soi 33 Sukhumvit. readers. Unusual and very pleasant taste. Upon Among -its dozen or so establishments are memo reflection I notice that none of the dishes come bership clubs, an all-night disco, a speak-easy with any accompaniment whatsoever. Perhaps and the subject of this month's restaurant they were available, but required ordering. revue, Don Pepe. We enjoyed our meal with a couple of Opened at the end of January by the tequilas as a starter, to enter the mood of the energetic owner of L'Opera on Soi 39, Don place, and then a good bottle of dry white. For Pepe is the nearest yet to a real Spanish restau­ the life of me I can never understand the ridicu­ MAGNA-DRY: A REVOLUTIONARY CARPET DRY CLEANING SYSTEM rant. If some of the food is not what one would lous wine pricing policy of many hotels and find in Spain then the music certainly is. On two restaurants in Bangkok. Everyone knows the Have you all noticed the great change in the restaurant carpet? levels the ground floor has a stage, lounge and taxes and excise are exhorbitant, but to add It was cleaned courtesy of: • bar area with dining area on the mezzanine. insult to injury by marking up wines by up to The Flamenco brother and sister team are very 300 percent is crazy. Don Pepe is not so bad, Magna-Dry good complete with heel stamping, clapping, and but could easily lower its wine prices a little. A Division of Specialised Chemical Products Ltd. that inimitable combination of Spanish gypsy Service is friendly if not too educated. Give it 71/4 Sukhumvit 31 guitar and voice. For this alone I recommend time and improvement will come. Bangkok 1011 0 a visit. So have a good night out on Soi 33 and The food is not exactly cheap, but neither Tel: 258-4575 drop in to Don Pepe's and enjoy some Spanish is it expensive. 250-300 baht per head will pro­ atmosphere. vide a good meal. Of four dishes chosen 3 were As Khun Pismai says "Very good No. 1 clean". excellent, the fourth a disappointment. We are Bob Coombes fortunate in Thailand to have abundant and inexpensive squid. How the cook made such a o • • tasteless mess is a mystery. Perhaps he used all

38 39 ,. Investment through Unit Trusts usually costs you an extra 5% (the 'front-load') as well as a 1% p.a. management fee AIIM MEMBERS If you want 100% of your money invested and only a 1% p.a. management fee (charged in arrears, STICK TO HIGH STANDARDS when the work has been done) SET IN 1975

• HE Association of Independent business and taking their clients' funds T Investment Managers (AI 1M} , (see with them to South America. ad) who were the first pioneers of self­ AIIM's founding members include regulation outside the Stock Exchange in successful names like Perpetual; John 1974/1975, anticipating British Govern­ Carrington & Co.; Anthony Wieler & Co.; ment regulation and the Review of West Avon; Wright, Seligman & Co. ; and Anthony Wieler + Company Limited Investor Protection which followed five Portfolio Advisers. Together, these com­ Independent Investment Managers years later, set very high standards_ Their panies manage a substantial ten figure offer a discretionary service managing individual rules were copied by the Department of sum. However, there are less than a dozen portfolios, for expatriate investors, investing direct in the Trade, producing new rules for Licenced corporate members of AIIM and they shares of successful companies around the world . Dealers in Securities, and have become a will not become one of the regulatory • As one indication 01 their ability to do we ll for you framework for other regulatory organisa­ organisations in the new City shake-up (Source: Planned Savings August 1987) The Wieler tions in the field of investment manage­ under SIB (the Securities & Investment Growth Fund ranks in the top 10 of the international growth unit trusls. The Wieler Quarterly Income Fund ment. However, some of the other invest­ Board). rose almost 60% in the first nine months Since rts ment managers have not felt able to AIIM have strongly recommended · launch. Anthony Wieler + Company Limited have been embrace AIIM rule 3.5, which insists IMRO to accept the AIIM rule 3.5 refer­ appointed Investment Managers for The Health Fund and an increasing number of Charities, Tru sts and that investment managers do not hold the red to above. This would avoid the other private clients at home and overseas. stock and cash of their clients and do not IMRO members becoming embarrassed by have a signatory on their clients' accounts. a scandal like Norton Warburg or, more Anihony Wleler + Company LlmHed AIIM members all use a custodian recently, McDonald Wheeler, whose bank. or trust company, where their clients lost most of their money. 19 Widegate Street c/o Blear Services Limited • off Bishopsgate 12th Floor clients' stock and cash is held in their AIIM argue that if the Government 11 Duddell Street clients' accounts, in their own name and London E1 7HP sets a minimum requirement of £1 million Telephone 01-3771 01 0 Hong Kong held to the cleints' order. The investment paid-up capital for Licenced Deposit Fax 01-2475000 Telephone 5-213661 manager merely has a mandate to vary Takers (LDT's). the same rule should Telex 886307 Telex 62265 MTL HX the investments. Payments to brokers and apply for anyone asking to take clients' other agents are made against delivery money for investment management. If

and securities are not delivered until LDT's are required to have £5 million Membef 01 the Associalion 0I1ndependen11n\1estmen1 ~ payment has been received so that the paid-up capital, then this should be the UC:ensed Dealers 11\ Securities client always has either stock or cash in minimum requirement for investment managers wishing to hold their clients' In Thailand , contact: Mr. Burapa Atthakor, Gavintorn Co_ ,Ltd. their account and should not worry about 23/1 Viphavadi Rangsit Rd. ,Bangkhen , Bangkok. Tel: 511-4085-9 the investment manager going out of stock and cash. • o 41 40 ,. • As the marriage 'breaks down Ruth The question as to why anyone changes from victim to aggressor and vows would actually want a rat like Bobbo to take revenge. "The good and virtuous remains an unanswered puzzle and it isn't m Ell WORTH READING get dumped," she fumes . She embarks till the final chapter that the full scale on an outrageous sequence of exploits the of the she devil's evil ingenuity is appa· purposes of which become horribly rent. .1 .. . clearer and clearer. She wish es to be Fay Weldon uses the stereotypes of The Life and Loves revenged on Mary Fisher. The first her trade well - there is sex and maso· act of the new Ruth is to systematically ~hism , love and hate, life and death. This of a She' Devil and cleverly destroy the marital home. is a delicious book and a marvellous The obnoxious children and even worse video. I hope my emphasis of the feminist by animals are then left with the lovers and issue does not deter any prospective male Fay Weldon • Ruth sets off to find a new life ... as a she readers or viewers. As Ruth says " it is devil. Her motto is that all things are not a matter of male and female ... ICKED ... witty ... stylish ... bizar­ "A man without wisdom" is one quote possible if one is a woman and one is merely of power". And indeed her battle W re ... these are the adjectives that that comes to mind. He falls in love with determined enough to use anti abuse men is waged, not against a man, but against spring to mind in describing this mar­ one of his clients, Mary Fisher, played by what she perceives as man's ideal image of vellous book by Fay Weldon. She is Patricia Hodge. She is a romantic novelist in the way she has been used and abused. woman - the feminist woman's real a supremely inventive author who , in this who has created for herself the kind of We then follow Ruth as she acts out her malevolance on a scale beyond our wildest enemy. novel, combines macabre comedy, biting world only found in her novels and lives imaginings. The lovers' relationship disin­ I got my copy of the book, publish. satire and a militantly feminist line with a life totally isolated from reality. The tegrates under the strain and I even start· ed by Coronet, from Asia Books, price brilliant story telling and a powerful casting of Waterman and Hodge seems 1'1148 and the video from Max Video literary style. strange at first - Waterman as a wimp ed to feel sorry for the hapless Mary Fisher whose ultimate punishment did not (two tapes) . and Hodge as a hussy! I have to say that, The book was recommended to me • seem to fit the crime. Nan Kennedy in a list of 'fantasy' books issued in a on screen, I initially was uncomfortable o British Council publication and I suppose with it. Quickly however their past per. that it is in this category it is best placed ... formances were overshadowed by Bobbo and Mary. COMPETITION RESULTS but only because I cannot imagine it fits in anywhere else. The BBC recently The story really begins when Bobbo leaves Ruth for Mary. Ruth, played won. Congratulations to Michele Laven our winner of the serialised it and made an exceptionally "Around the British Club" January competition. good attempt at what cannot have been derfully by an actress previously unknown an easy task. to me, Julie T. Wallace, is a huge, lumpish woman, moustachioed and very ugly. It is, as always, difficult to precis the The objects were: 6. Klong at back of Club House The contrasts between Mary and Ruth plot without re\

I A nagra m s is a game whe re words are iarmed by rea rranging blocks of letters. A l~~I~J ~~B[2J seven~letter word can be created out of each set of letters. If you can't figure out the seven·!etter word, look fo r a shorter one. For example, in the first set of letters, • • 2~G0~0~0 you can easily see the word honk. If you want, you can stop there; tally the points for honk using the guidelines, then w rite down that number. When you figure out 3~00~0~[iJ a seven· letter word, give yourself an extra 100 points for your ha rd wor k! When you've tried all seven anagrams. rota I the {~00@]B00 points to get yourscqre for the game. If you get stuck, look at the clues fo r the seven­ letter words.

{~~BB~G0 Clues: 1. Knowing how to do something 2. Extra, left over 6[g00GB@]~ 3. San Fra ncisco st reetcar 4. A combination of several ingredi ents 5. Masculine pronoun • • 6. Part of the nose {~0@]00@]G 7. To move your hands as you talk s h Scoring Guidelines: b c a r A, E, 1,0, U, L, N, R, S, T -2 points 0 , G-4 points c h 0 c 0 a t e 8, C, M, P-6 points F, H, V, W, Y-8 points a h s g K-l0 points 0 j d P L X-16 points Q, Z-20 points u c b 0 f t 0 e g Connect m k f 0 w e r s th.e Dots** .. d s c a s 0 x r h There's a way to connect • • • • • these dots in the form of a b u n n y d cross-the kind the Red Cross • • • • • uses as a symbol-so that eight dots are completely out­ side the cross, and five dots Put a circle around: chocolate, chicks, hop, eggs, • • • • • are completely inside it. Do you know how? flowers, bunny • • • • • More Easter Puzzles next man th • • • • • Answers on page 47. • •

44 45 • LAST MONTH 'S SOLUTION " n ROSSWORD

DOUBLE GRID PUZZLE

Solve the clues A to S and enter in spaces on Grid 1. Each letter is numbered ..... write the letters in the corresponding numbered spaces in the Grid 2 and reading straight through (some words may carryover to the next line) you will find a quotation from a famous noveL Reading down, the initial letters of the solved clues will give you the author and title of the book ..... which have a tenuous connection with Bangkok! • A) Short month on one hill for a chap who 0) Alice followed a white one. takes care of the place. P) Made into something there is nothing like! B) This suspicious spouse was hell too. Q) You have to squeeze to get it. C) Rough residence. R) Covered with stuff from the old well? D) Not a very nice stream. S) Ancient protection for correspondence? E) You won't go astray if you stick to it. F) Swimmer found in Bali hut. Grid 1. G) The crazy city lama was a disaster. H) The form of a popular breakfast? J) Put things down in it. J) Kind of water that's on tap. K) Large reptile from Canada-No! L) Served at a meal for a gorgeous girl? 27 • M) Clothes for the Police in the Courts? SOLUTION TO CHILDREN'S CORNER N) Appoint with a rod in rearranged. CONNECT THE DOTS

Grid 2. 49 • • 62

77 •

89 • • • ANSWERS TO ANAGRAMS: 1. Knowhow 2. Surplus • 3. Trolley 110 4. Mixture 5. Himself • • • 6. Nostril 116 117 118 7. Gesture

47 46 SPORTS ROUNDUP

first ball to Jaggi was a full toss .... it passed the bA1:sman"). As the over gets ever It's swung hard and high to backward longer and the bowling action ever more miss­ CRICKET CRICKET square leg. Who's there' Jack Glattbach' Jack'U hapen, the only thought on everybody's minds catch it, it's his day, batting well, bowling well, is the hope that somehow the over can be got he must catch it, it 's right down his throat.. through and the bowler retired to a distant Well, Jack, unfortunately, kept his mouth corner of the field. In the British Club, bowling closed. The baU bounced off him and plopped, such an over is known as "doing a Dave Smith" 31st January, 30 over Friendly vs AIT came and went, and there was talk of the ton mockingly, at his feet. Oh, the shame! after the player who originated it, although Won by 58 runs. being reached. I, for one, am sure that Geoff's Sure enough, an over or so later, Jaggi Frank Hough, in an effort to have the pheno- legs would've taken him there, but it was the rest began to take his toll. Mark watched two mighty _menon renamed in his honour, has since done it BC 156 For 6 (Craig Price 52) Of him that gave out. He was finally stumped, sixes disappear over long-off and mid--wicket. twice. This week, the unfortunate bowler was AIT 98 all out on 31, after racing down the wicket to beg the Fielders began to take up positions in the car Lindsey Semple, opening the bowling with Nick bowler for a five-minute rest. The partnership park. Jack mentally composed his letter of White and on his Be debut. His first over con­ had achieved 76, with Craig going on to a well One of the pleasant aspects of returning resignation from the Club. tained five wides and a no-ball, and equalled to British Club Cricket after a prolonged UK judged 52 off 68 balls. • Alastair, a compassionate man, decided to the Be record for longest over set up only the leave is discovering those things that have The innings now had a platform upon bowl Jack for one more over. What a master· previous week by Frank. He was, though, very changed in your absence and those which, which Rider (18) and Glattbach (21 not out), stroke of tactical judgement! Fourth ball, Jaggi unlucky not to have an appeal for LBW upheld reassuringly, haven't. in particular, were able to build. In their sixth shapes to swing it high into the stratosphere. for one of the balls that did go straight. At AIT that Saturday, my sense of the wicket partnership of 37 they demonstrated The ball stays low, comes into him, and his Frank had won the toss, and, following the timeless and unchanging was well indulged: their fitness and experience, by scoring mostly stumps are a mess! Alastair Rider scored runs on the leg-side from previous week's debacle against the Sports Club, in ones and twos. The rest, as they say, is history. Craig balls pitching well outside off; Terry Adams got wisely decided that we would (a) have a peptalk, 156 for six off thirty overs looked a Price finished off the tail-enders with two for six off to a good start, and was then out sixth ball; and (b) put the Indians in to bat. Neither seemed healthy score, but previous experience of AIT's off two overs, and Mark Twemlow ended with Jack Glattbach (recipient of "Father of the Year to have any immediately obvious effect, and powerful batting urged caution. a highly creditable two for twenty eight off Award" in 1987) was surrounded by family Lyndsey Semple bowled a good, tight six although Nick got two early wickets, the Indians five overs. chaos and, thankfully, Craig Price demonstrated over spell conceding just twelve runs and achiev­ were having no difficulty in scoring at well over Jack Glattbach was able to sleep soundly that he could still playa match-winning innings. 4 runs per over. The surviving opener and the ing the only two maiden overs in the innings. that night, dreaming of his two for fifteen off One of the more startling changes was that number 4 batsman defied all Be efforts to He was rewarded, in his last over, with a fine five overs, and of how the powers· that-be had for the first time in two seasons, BC were able to dislodge them until a rather unusual, nay, freak, edge to wicket keeper (yes, wicket keeper') intervened to make that fourth delivery stay low. win at AlT. Fielding a side based on experience Adams to dismiss Ramesh. Meantime, at the dismissal. Alistair Rider, who had already done (rather than cricketing ability - that had been other end, Nicky James demonstrated just how his best to emulate last season's missed catch Nicky Dunne . tried the week before and proved totally unsuc- much you can get away with as a bowler and of the season by rushing in the general direction cessful) Alastair Rider tactically lost the toss pick up wickets with his spell of three overs of square leg shouting "mine", diving full length, and BC were put in the bat. two for sixteen. 17th January. 50-over league vs Indian CC. and missing the skied ball by some ten yards, was Things started off in familiar AIT fashion. The AIT innings progressed steadily, but Won by 6 w ickets. again the star. The opening batsman, on 48, Terry Adams hit a four in the first over, then their earlier batsmen struggled to keep up with edged a straightforward catch to Alistair off he and Dunne, both of them too keen to get on the clock. BC's bowlers were economical and the ICC 208 (White 9.1·3·27·3; Hough 5·0·18·2; David Dance's bowling; as Alistair dropped with umpiring the match, were out by the time wicket-keeping duo of Terry Adams and David Dance 10·2-30·2; Price 10·1·34·2; Dunford 10·0 forward to his knees, he fumbled the ball, which .59·1) . the score had reached ten. Sinclair-James kept the number of extras to fen through his thighs (something of a feat in BC 2094 (Hough 48*, Grocock 47, Dance 39, itself) and loodged between his ankles. The Geoff Thompson came in to join Craig a minimum. An excellent catch by Rider - leap­ Price 28, Semple 20*, White 10) batsman was less amused than the rest of us. Price, and a me~orable stand was underway. ing and twisting dolphin.like to snatch a lofted Now Geoff, as he himself will admit, is not in top-edge from over his head at slip - brought in 59 runs later, Alistair took a more legitimate There is a condition not unakin to the the first flush of youth. You can tell that most the AIT captain, Jaggi, and heralded the crucial catch. Later still, he had to yield the stumping golfing "putter's twitch" which periodically clearly by examining his legs. Gnarled and phase of the innings. slot to Steve Castledine and retire to the outfield attacks British Club bowlers; the run-up and bruised, they have "LIFE" written allover Everyone knew this man could turn the with an injured finger. By the second drinks delivery, followed closely by length and line, them. Those experienced legs qualified him for game. He was their best batsman, the sort who break, only four wickets had fallen and the , go wildly out of control, while fielders mutter Indians had scored 161 off 34 overs. The the day's team, and they did him proud. For showered fielders with cricket balls diopping cOmforting lines such as "Don't worry; just fielding, however, despite one or two lapses, had nearly an hour in the blazing heat they carried from great heights like mortar shells. BC had to relax" (so guaranteeing even more tension) and been encouragingly keen, and in the last sixteen him up and down the wicket as the score steadily get him out early to win the game. We all donned try to find small nuggets of mitigation to overs this began to show dividends as ICC col­ mounted. At the other end, Craig Price, operat­ tin-helmets and retre.ated to the farthest reaches encourage the unhappy bowler (eg. "That one ing on much younger, though shorter, legs, of the outfield. lapsed to 208 all out. Seven catches were held wasn't quite so near the square-leg umpire" or drove, cut and hooked the AIT bowling with Mark Twemlow had been bowling well. all together in the Indian innings, and there were "Your last .ball only bounced four times before ever increasing confidence. The fifty partnership His first three overs lost only eleven runs. His • welcome returns to bowling form by both Craig

48 49 Price and Frank Hough. 208 looked a reasonable rest of the story is familiar, as the remaining openers had no difficulty keeping the scoreboard ,- target. batsmen faced a "hit-out-or-get-out" option in • ticking over at five an over. Then in the 14th 6th February. 30-over league vs Scribblers the dying overs of the innings; inevitably, all Won by 7 wickets. . The BC innings started well, with both over, with the score on 73, Nick was bowled openers looking in form, but then Nick White cli'o"'se the latter alternative, and none of the goin9 for a shot which would have brought up became the first of the 17 year old wicket­ last six batsmen ·scored more than four. David Scb 188-4 (Dance 6-1-17-2; Thompson 3-0-26-1; hIS fIfty. He and extras had dominated the Dance was eighth out, having stayed just long Dunford 6-0-38-I) keeper's victims when he was caught behind for partnership to such an extent that Lindsey had. 10. Craig Price joined Nigel Grocock and these enough for his fifty; he had always looked BC 189-3 (White 96, Dance 34*, Grocock 33) only scored 14 of the 73, but then, joined by two put on 54 (their third consecutive half­ uncomfortable at the crease, and yet his fifty It seems that Nicky Dunne, overcome by an In-form Terry Adams, Lindsey began to cut century stand) for the second wicket. Nigel was still scored remarkably quickly, off just 63 the excitement of writing the report on the AIT loose and by the 17-over drinks break the score Grocock was compiling runs steadily and was ,balls. I should look so uncomfortable. 107 did friendly, has filled reams of paper, so I have been had reached a very healthy 101 for one. Unfor­ unlucky to be out three runs short both of his not look enough, especially as David Dance was instructed by the heavies on the OUTPOST tunately, Lindsey was bowled right after the own 50 and of the 50 partnership with David looking very pasty-faced and wobbly. With three editorial team to keep it short. Pity, though as interval, ~d Terry followed 24 runs later. This Dance. Frank and David took the score past medics on the team, diagnosis was highly-diver­ this was one of the best games of the year. 'On brought David Dance and Frank Hough together 150 before David was caught behind just before sified, or perhaps there was .a debate on whether second thoughts, perhaps it's just as weH; I could an~ they put on a magnificent batting show, accompanying him to the cafeteria constituted • • never match the purple prose of the Post on the the second drinks break. Frank, who was drop­ takmg the score to 215 in a 79-run partnership ped before he had scored, was looking good and a home visit for fee purposes; whatever, we took before Frank was caught eight runs short of hi Sunday morning. The strong Scribblers side he and Lindsey Semple added the last 58 runs the field without the three of them, and Lindsey fifty. With the following ball, David brought u; with some impressive victories behind them thi~ needed after the break in only 8 overs. Frank Semple bowled the first over. With only six hIS third fIfty of the weekend (having played a season, were sent in to bat and were soon ham­ was unlucky to finish unbeaten on 48. fielders apart from himself and the wicket­ game with another team on Friday afternoon). mering the BC bowlers to all parts of the ground. This was an excellent win, and something keeper, he did well to keep the score down to 5. Jack Dunford was out cheaply, and was followed Only David Dance bowled with any economy, of a tonic after that match. When the medical profession returned, David s~ ~n a~ter by David Dance, so the big-hitting and even his figures were spoiled somewhat and Nick bowled superbly but without taking fmlSh dId not materialise and we ended on a very when his last over was hit for ten runs. Nick White suffered the rare indignity of being hit for 24th January. 30 over-league vs AlT. any wickets. It was left to Lindsey to take the r~spect~bl~, but in the circumstances slightly fourteen off an over, including a six, a fate he Lost by 6 wickets. first wicket when he was recalled, but by then dlsappomtmg, 244 for 6. AIT were a third of the way to their target. Now, the AIT lads once beat us on this shared with Frank Hough (for whom the indig­ BC 107 (Dance 50, White 22, Semple 12) There was a brief flurry of hope when further pitch after we'd scored 270, so nobody was filty IS perhaps less rare?), as the number four AIT 108-4 (Semple 6-0-36-2; Dance 6-0-20-1; wickets fell at 49, 51 and 66 (including Jonathan gomg to take the result for granted. Nick bowled batsman topped an already high Scribblers score Letchfield 3.1-0- 21-1) Letchfield's first wicket for the club), but the • • one of the openers in the sixth Over but at the by hammering 43 not out off twenty balls. AIT skipper was batting well, and the fifth first drinks break, AIT were 71 for i and going 188 for four off the thirty overs reflected the The advice from those in the know about wicket partnership needed just seven overs to well. Then we had a lucky break when the qual~ty of the batting surface and, perhaps, the AIT was simple: "Don't prod about; go for your score the 42 runs needed for victory. In compari­ number three batsman skied a catch to David heavmess of the day, but was helped along by shots." The bounce at AIT both on the pitch son, the senior Hall and the Hough and Glattbech Dance at deep mid-off, was dropped, and in the a poor BC fielding display, typified by the first and in the field being entirely unpredictable spouses had had a wonderful afternoon on the resulting confusion, the opening batsman who ball of the innings, when three runs were scored makes life just as hard for the fielding side as AIT golf course, losing only fifteen balls ... had just passed the fifty mark, was ru~ out. off a ball prodded out to the Covers. Nick White for the batsman. Be were put in first, and The number three was bowled by Jack Dunford re~urn to the pavilion lamen ting (an unfairly openers White and Semple started well, with next bal!, and then two more wickets fell quickly mild word) the fielding performance and sug­ 25th January. 50-over league vs AI T. gestmg that he was in no mood to go out and 25 off the first four overs. Then Lindsey was Won by 20 runs. to bring AIT to 115 for 5. AIT, however were bowled, and Frank Hough followed, caught and not going to give up, and with ten Overs 'to go open the innings. He did, though, and he and bowled, three runs later. David Dance joined BC 244 (Dance 53, White 48, Hough 42, Extras they were only 45 runs short; although he wa~ Nigel Grocock proceeded to put on 85 in ten Nick, and these two began to restore a little 33, Semple 28, Adams 16, Davis 13*) • beginning to run out of partners, the AIT skipper overs for the first wicket. There was, in particu­ respectability to the score, at the expense of a AIT 224 (Dunford 10-0-36-3; White 8.5-0-28-2; was the main danger, and it was only when he lar, some very good running between the wickets slowing-down of the striking rate. Both had a Dance 10-0-48-2; Semple 9-0-62-2) was well caught, for 74, by Frank Hough in the whi~h made it all the more surprising whe~ few chances, and Nick was bowled just before the. deep that BC were finally safe, and AIT's a nux-up left both batsmen at the same end and the 15-over drinks break. Steve Castledine It seemed cruel to face the same tearn again InnIngs ended in the 45th over, still 20 runs Nigel was the unlucky one to get run out, inci­ seemed determined to stay with David Dance, only 16 hours and 14 Klosters later, but Frank short. dentally run out at the end both batsmen were but only 13 runs were added in the next 7 overs was out on the pitch losing the toss bright and Maximum points for Be was a very good at. Nick was in commanding form, although he as the bowlers began to get on top. A burst of early, and Nick White and Lindsey Semple were re~lt, and the 50-over league is wide open, was lucky to survive a few dropped catches. scoring from David Dance around the 21st over sent out to open the batting. Nick began with a WIth everyone having lost at least one match. He seems to get suicidal as he approaches major (two fours and three twos off consecutive balls) four off the first ball, and scored two more targets, and, on 48, he skied a catch to long on boosted the score to 81 and inspired Steve to fours in the second over; it all seemed too good where two fielders would each have taken the aspirations of emulation. These remained mere to be true, but this time, on the Polo Club's catch separately, but in the eVent ran flat-out aspirations, as he was promptly bowled. The perfect batting surface, it continued, and the into each other, both being injured and allowing Nick to complete the two runs needed for his

50 51 t Batting: Dance 345 runs @ 57.50; Grocock fifty. Inevitably, he was out (bowled) within • 214 @ 35.67; Price 135 @ 33.75; White 246 sight of his next target, four runs short of a @ 30.75; Hough 144 @ 24.00. LADIES'GOLF LADIES'GOLF century. His 96 came off only 77 balls, and rx f' Bowling: White 13 wickets @ 14.07; included six sixes, a Be record in a single innings. Price 5 @ 16.20; Dunford 12 @ 21.42; Dance 10 David Dance then played Qut a maiden, and @ 22.30; Hough 7 @ 27.57. Frank Hough tried to get some tension back into Our new format of playing th e f'Irst two Tuesdays In. the month at the Railway has pro ed the game by facing ten balls before scoring, but David Hall a great success and we shall continue with this arrangement throughout the year - weather permitti~9! the total was finally passed in the 28th over. Leading averages after this game: COMPETITION RESULTS COURSE 5th January - 1's and F's Railway H/cap DARTS DARTS Winner: Gai Pitre 38 alb 22 a • • R/Up: Mal Chessman 38 32 12th January - 3 Throw outs Railway The Club Championship knock-out events At a meeting of the Bangkok Darts League Flight A Winner: Margaret McEwan 50 22 will be played for in April or May so start prac­ on 6th February, Kenneth Ywin was voted R/)lp : Joan Guthrie 54 1~8 ticing for these trophies too, Mike Majer holds President and it was agreed that the new Johnnie the Castrol Cup for Men and Carol Anwar the Flight B Winner: Mal Chessman 43 Walker Darts League would start in March. 31 R/Up: Kristeen Chappell Now is the time to register with the team Ladies' Challenge trophy. 49 27 Don't delay, it will take you at least 2 Captains (Peter Downs and Bryan Baldwin) and Great under par round by Mal - nett 64' weeks to get the lIoptimum Kloster lever' cough up your 5150 registration fee. Practicing will now begin in earnest in the bar every Thurs- right! 19th January - Better Nines Army , day. Flight A Winner: Margaret McEwan 34 22 R/Up: Joan Guthrie 36 18 GOLF • • Flight B Winner: Kristeen Chappell 35\6 25 GOLF Cf R/Up: Anne Hendrie 37\6 23 Flight C Winner: Helen Benham 32\6 31 R/Up: Mal Chessman 33\6 29 THE BANGKOK ST. ANDREW'S SOCIETY Very crowded on this our first game at the Army. We had to tee-off on the 10th. GOLF DAY 26th January - L.G.U. Medal Army On Saturday 23rd January the St. Andrew's Society held its annual golf day at the Railway Silver Division Winner: Pat Dodsworth (16) nettl 76 Course, Some 30 members and guests took part in the day's events which involved both stroke play R/UR: Joan Guthrie (19) nett 78 and stableford competitions. Bronze Division Winner: Marianne Oshunde (28) nett 78 Winners of the major prizes were as follows: R/Up: Penny Whalley (20) nett 79

Members: 2nd February - Stableford Railway • : Norman Macdonald (88) ~ . The Leonowens Trophy (Lowest gross) Flight A Winner: Pat Dodsworth •• : Kristeen Chappell (70) . The Gerson Table (Lowest net) . ~~. R/Up: Kerstin Persson Flight B Winner: Mal Chessman Lady Members and Members' Wives: -, R/Up: Kristeen Chappell : Margaret McEwan (68) The Ladies' Trophy (Lowest net) ~c. ~ 9th February - Bisque Bogey All Players: Flight A Winner: Margaret McEwan : Mike Pomfret (38) The Nestle Basket (Highest stableford) R/Up: Kerstin Persson The major trophies were presented to the winners by the Chieftain during the Burn's Night Flight B Winner: Belinda Prince Ceilidh held at the Siam Intercontinental Hotel that same evening. R/Up: Kanda Phillips

52 p Forthcoming Competitions Starter: Penny (258-9415) Cockcroft headed the equaliser to the utter to defend the Inter-Section Sports Day Trophy dismay of the Germans. On balance a draw was we won last year and hope to have an unchanged 1st March Stableford Railway a fair result, although neither side can be entirely /' team. We are a1so delighted to have been invited 8th March } . happy with it as it leaves Benz one point clear. Astral Cup Navatanee to participate in the Windmill Cup, a prestigious 15th March It was a good game, however, although some­ ll-A-Side tournament held in Singapore each 22nd March Par Bisque Army times spoiled by unnecessary delays through the year in May. I t is arranged by the Singapore 29th March . Medal Army Germans not retiring 10 yards at free kicks. Dutch Club and sponsored by Phillips and Man of the Match was Captain Fantastic (of the provides the platform for a short Singapore tour Cricket Team) Frank Hough. starting on 13th May through the 15th. If Our next matches were at the RBSC anyone is interested in accompanying the team An nual 7-A-Side Tournament. We put two let me know. The added attractions of shopping teams into the competition involving 18 players. SOCCER ~ SOCCER and seeing the FA Cup Final live and uninter­ Unfdrtunately the Maoris have a lot to answer rupted by adverts plus English sound-track may • for. The tournament was after the New Zealand draw some tourists. Night at the Inter-Con and there were a few Since our last article we welcome Finley excuses for athlet7s who took the field for the McPherson to the Section and anticipate the first games. Stien Lager and NZ wine is not what return of dashing winger Lindsay Childs who Sawasdee Krap Footballphiles, Morton foray down the wing and a cross to the they train on at Old Trafford and both sides lost was so famous in English Lower League football Wee Eck back after the mid season shut far post, where Hough headed back for Pomfret their opening matches against fit and young (very Scunthorpe fans wrote the song "Nobody's down, 3 kilos heavier, one year older but not any to score number 2. Here we go! Here we go! unfair that) local teams. We had to content Childs" about him. In conclusion, there was wiser. Managed one game in the UK during the A frantic finish and an opportunist goal from ourselves with places in the plate competition. a man with an incurable illness who had been shut down where clad in four shirts, tracksuit HRazor" Maynard two minutes from the end The Casuals or B team met RBSC Youth told he only had 6 months to live. As a last top and thermal bottoms I helped Hermes Old saw us share the points. Despite the epic fight­ here and went out 4-1. Grant Upton scored the resort he spent £3,000 for a consultation with Crocks hold the current youths in a 6 goal back we have to look on this as a point lost. goal, but our hosts were just too strong for the the world's foremost doctor. The doctor said thriller. The British Club had two friendlies over Man of a very entertaining match award went to old timers. The British Club A Team, despite "Give up drinking, cigarettes, sex don't visit the shut down against our old rivals RBSC with Steve Casteldine. We must also pay tribute to being depleted by injuries to Bennington and anymore plush restaurants Or night-clubs and one win apiece. No reports are available due to the Scans for making a real game of it. • Casteldine, played some good football in definitely do not play football, squash or tennis the very social nature of the apres match soirees Two weeks and three training sessions Drawing 0-0 with the Thai Sihks. Onto penalties at the BC". " Will it make me live longer?" asks (swallowed a French dictionary this month). later we took the field against the Swiss with and then sudden death penalties where Our the man. Doctor: "No, but it will feel like it." trimmer waist lines and still bubbling confi­ nerve held and we went through 7-6 to the Jim Howard: II I have to drink my beer Match Report dence. Again we were facing a team we had put Semi-Final. We met here the A team of the quickly because I once had an accident." Andy seven past earlier in the year. Again we fa~ed. to Bangkok Post and unfortuntely went out 2-0. Maynard: uYou've never had an accident in your The League resumed in mid January with get going until well into the second half and Turning point of the game was a bad offside life." Jim: "I have, I once had a pint knocked the Club sitting one point ahead of the pack. again we scored in the dying minutes. This time decision which let the Post in for goal 1. The over." This was to prove short-lived. OUf opening game it came from a Frank Hough penalty after Andy pressmen eventually went on to win the Plate. What swishes along making hardly a sound was against the Scandinavians who we beat 7-0 Massey had been floored in the box. Again, all but leaving holes in your lawn? in the first half of the programme. It was not credit to our opposition who raised their play POST-SCRIPT: A Moles Royce! to be on this occasion, however. The club from their form slump earlier in the season. malaise, ie. the slow start, struck again and we Man of the Match by a close majority was Vince It's good to be back in action and we are Cheers! were 1-0 down at half time. An even more Swift. looking forward to the games ahead. We are out Alex "Scoop" Forbes. disastrous start to the second period saw us 3-0 Our final league game at time of going to down with 20 minutes to go. The defence was press was against the German All Stars. They, doing a passable impersonation of a sieve whilst along with Benz, .were tied with us at the top as .. --. , ': .~ the forwards lacked that little bit of sharpness a result of our dropped point against the Scans . as a result of the lay-off, when a tactical substi­ and it was, therefore, the proverbi~l 4 pointer. ARE YOU A BRIDGE PLAYER? tution and outstanding goal changed the course In what was a great game of football, the play of the match. was end to end and the Germans went one up at If so, come and join the British Club Duplicate Bridge every Tuesday at 7.30 A brilliant overhead kick by Mike Pomfret half time as a result of a defensive error which p.m. If you need a partner please ring Barbara Overington on 260-1965. NB: these are found the net as an astonished Scans defence was severely punished. The team, however, fun evenings not to be taken too seriously! looked amazed whilst the BC forward line look­ stuck admirably to the task at hand and had ed incredulous. Yes, truly one to savour. The one goal chopped off for offside before with the .' - " . next goal also had class written all over it. A last touch of the game recent recruit John

54 55 " • • TENNIS flTENNIS & OMMITTEE

ment Rules before commencing play and to On January 23rd we held a Round Robin the Draw to see who to play in the next wact h . JACK DUNFORD RICHARD HOPKINS which was very kmdly. sponsore d by . the Ous I round. Everyone is responsible for arrangmg (Chairman) (Entertainment) Elevator Company. A few small pnzes were their own matches if unable to play on the day Peter Noon and this was very much Office: 236-0211 presen ted by and time specified, but please advise the orga· Office: 286-2642 appreciated. niser - Gordon Martin Tel: 286-8797. Home : 286-1356 Home : 211-9620 The Men' s Winner was Dave Benham, Any new members to the section will be Runner-Up Gordon Martin. • ry Welcome. See the notice board by the The Ladies' Winner was Helen Benham (a n d "J . " courts for Tennis for "Beginners" an . U~l~r~ . very successful family affair) and the Runner-Up Please sign up if you are interested In lommg BRIAN HEATH DUGAL FORREST was Barbara Noon. Well done to everyone, It these sessions. , . (Vice-Chairman) (Outpost) was very well supported. . . . There is coaching for adults and Jumo rs, Office: 282-9161 x 191 The Finals of the Club ChamplOnsiups will Office: 390-2191-2 the booking sheet is on the bar by the courts. Home : 321-1723 Home: 381-1329 be held on Saturday the 20th and Sunday 21st The next Round Robin will be held at the M h There will be prize giving and a supper end of March. Watch Reception for sign-up toa~llOW in the Sala on the 21st. Will all compe­ titors please be sure to see a copy of the Tourna- sheet. MICHAEL D. RYAN ...... • VINCE SWIFT (Treasurer) (Memb ership/Publicity) Office: 235-1940-9 Office : 252-4294 • Home : 251-6106 Home: 258-8522 i ,/'l:"1II __ -1 __ ~t----f----~ f:;' ./

MICHAEL BALL ALISTAIR RIDER (Food & Beverage) (Membership/Publicity) Office: 236-7348 Office: 251-9905 Home : 579-1419 Home: 251-8369 \

DAVID HALL DAVID WILLIAMSON (Personnel) (Manager) Office: 529-0100 x 2867 Office: 234-0247,234-2592 Home : 392-2410 Home: 258-8522

TERRY ADAMS SURAPOL EKWANAPOL (Sports) (Asst. Manager: Food & Office: 381-2022 Beverage) 381-2227/9 Office: 234-0247, 234-2592 Home: 253-9653 x 51A Home: 3939049

57

56 !ICTIVITlfS

ANYONE WHO IS INTERESTED IN PARTICIPATING IN ANY ASPECT OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIVITIES SHOULD CONTACT:

BILLARDS/SNOOKER RON ARMSTRONG 390-2445

BRIDGE BARBARA OVERINGTON 260-1965

CHESS JAMES NICHOLS 236-8834

CRICKET FRANK HOUGH 391-7192

DARTS MIKE MAJER 513-1970 GOLF RON ARMSTRONG 390-2445 MOVING. LADlES' GOLF PENNY WHALLEY 258-9415 The American-managed Transpo OUTPOST MAREN WHITE 258-1481 provides Thailand's only total RUGBY FIACRE HENSEY 234-3031

SOCCER ALEX FORBES 260-1950 Moving Service. Which is characterized by a vital document storage and retrieval service SQUASH BARBARA OVERINGTON 260-1965 professionalism born of multi-million-mile for international companies and banks. .experience. And Our Housing Division helps clients Our Household Division regularly, locate choice houses, apartments and offices SWIMMING ERIKA MAJER 252-7492 economically bandies smooth world wide throughout metropolitan Bangkok. door-ta-door moves for major multi-national Whatever your moving requirements, TENNIS DAVE BENHAM 253-7310 companies and diplomatic organizations. contact Bill Reinsch or Ralph Crandall at Our lATA-approved Air Freight Transpo. Division maintains its own office near They have all the details on Thailand's Bangkok's Don Muang International Airport only total Moving Service. and is the recognized leader in handling and forwarding imports and exports for Thailand's electronics industry. TRANSPO INTERNATIONAL LTD. Our Sea Cargo/Brokerage Division 134/31 Soi Athakravi 3, Rama IV Road , regularly manages import and export cargoes Bangkok 10110. Thailand of up to 120 tons per piece, is a major handler Tel: 259-011 6-20.258-9880-2 of displays and exhibitions, and provides a ~Inlt'nl1ianal Telex: 11-182915 MOVing Sj)K,.Jim FAX: (662) 258-6555, 258-6558 With Transpo, you can be sure.

58 I THE LABEL OF ACHIEVEMENT .,

• BLACK LABEL COMMANDS MORE RESPECT ~ JOHNNIE WALKER BLACK LABEL • I