NOT FOR DISi-'LAf ,7.JULii''"= CONTENTS 17 NOT THE UNION NEWS EDITORIAL 20 SOAP: Need updates on what's A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A happening in the Young and the The attempted hi-jack of the student stop- QUEENSLAND POLICEMAN: Isn't Restless, Days of Our Lives and Dallas?? work rally on May 6 by left-wing student nice to know the force (Police) are Avid Soapie watcher, Stella Goodellis, always with us, Semper's undercover reveals all... politicians earnt itself a place in Ripley's reporter, Peter Thomas, reveals what "Believe It Or Not" column. happens in a day in the life of a Qld 22 COLLEGE PAGE: This edition Semper's A 'collective' of so-called student acti­ Policeman. Resident College Reporter, Jason vists (politicians) - members of the Inter­ Murdoch, profiles those infamous DANCE WITH THE DEVIL: Jabbers from St. John's College. national Socialists, the Resistance Club Investigative writer, Phil Smith, the man (youth arm ofthe Socialist Workers Party) who gave "Ripley's Believe It Or Not" 23 'FAB DAD!': A nostalgic look at the and the Popular Front for the Liberation of Column a run for their money - looks at television shows we all used to (and still Judea did dieir best to disrupt the rally. ^ackmasking. do) love ... The President ofthe National Union of I'T' Students, Ms Tracey Ellery, was drowned out by a cacophony of revolutionary chants. The Socialist Workers Party split the rally as they harangued students to march before Ms Ellery had finished her speech. What a blatant example of hypocrisy from • the so-called defenders of free speech and the rights of women. Ms Ellery's plea for student uriity and her concern that these people were playing in­ ivf. to the hands of the government was un­ THE BITTER CAKE: Kevin Carmody, a heeded - for the Revolution was in full PhD student and songwriter examines r flight! the Bicentenary from a Murri perspective. The Revolution finally settled outside L the Commonwealth Department of Edu­ I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY: Semper's LETTERS TO THE EDITORS cation. Some student activists (politicians) Foreign CorrespondEnt, Richard 24 Newsome, recounts how he almost met wanted to occupy the building and frighten REVIEWS alot of public servants. Great stuff for the Ronald Reagan ... 25 THE VALLEY: A CYCLE OF DECAY six o'clock news. THE GRADUATE TAX DEBATE; 28 11 AND RENEWAL: Chris Pokarier and A student politician and Conmiunist Par­ Education Resource Officer, Jon Stubbs, Robert Allen present a photographic and some representatives of the ty member walked away from the march in collage ofthe life cycle ofthe Valley. disgust saying, "demonstrations like this Australian Young Labor movement, examine the issues involved. one are a waste of time". CARTOONS: The Red Tulip Affair. The same old faces that were last years Union (S.A.F.E. team) ruined what could have been a powerful message to the Fe­ deral Government. Let me paraphrase an old socialist song, "The Internationale" to sum up the whole event. "Comrades lets rally, for the fight we must face - For the six o'clock news must bring a smile to John Dawkin's face ..." KEVIN FOLET GUTTERPRESS WITH UNCLE MRHt^ees^SJSby^'' RUPERT: Our resident expert of the EDITORS: Kevin Folet 14 UNI BALLS - THE SORDID TRUTH: news that's not fit to print. Uncle Helen Nolan University Balls are a breed apart. Rupert, brings you the Dirt! Champagne Socialite, Helen Wilson- King, uncovered what really goes on at a LAYOUT ARTIST: Chris Stannard University Ball... TYPESETTER: Lou Larder 15 THE AFTERMATH OF KYLIE MINOGUE: Semper's Reporter at the 1988 GRAPHICS & front, Leonard Nimoy, reports on the horrifying invasion of Kylie Minogue PRODUCTION: John Parks clones on campus. Yvonne Schroder In 1988 John Carey 16 THE SANDSHOE: Funky sole man, Jim Australians must celebrate. Lisa Smith O'Brien, plunged feet first into this They apologise for their hypocricy, Hannah Cutts gripping story. (White Australia, Chris Stannard Land of the free) Fooi Lin Khoo But offer no answ^ers, David Knijneburg No solutions. Peter Thomas As I thoughtlessly apply my aerosol deodorant, PHOTOGRAPHY: Chris Pokarier Adding another fissure to the poor crumpling ADVERTISING Ozone layer, AGENT: Craig Mcintosh Then make my way in my car Phone: 371 2568 (Its fumes spewing rapidly), To the peace rally. PRINTER: Merino Litho, With its ever decreasing numbers Moorooka And its last brave attempt: (wonder - PUBLISHER: Dirk Moses Is it too late? President of U.Q. Union By Laura Bahnisch . 'y'>t^/!c A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A QUEENSLAND POLICEMAN

Had you realised how highly trained the veral glass bottles and putting the results in Queensland Police Force are? with the ash tray grot, and shaking it all about. Neither had I. They can similarly differentiate between For years I thought they just went a leather jacket laden with drugs and the around making good damn nuisances of same empty. themselves to people who least wanted the But perhaps the most important of all attention. Then suddenly, the other week, the listening skills developed by these peo­ I realised that this must be what they're ple, is the noise made by a house in which trained for... drugs are hidden when a large table is pic­ The event that drew my attention to this ked up and hurled upside down at the floor was a precision house bugger up executed in a precise way so as to cause the house to in Petrie Terrace. Did you know that the , resonate. average Queensland Policeman can tell the Well, now that I've calmed down I would difference in the noise made by a brand like to thank the people in blue (and plain new acoustic guitar laden with drugs and a clothes) for the kind conversation they of­ similar guitar clean, when it is beaten ac­ ten provide myself and my friends with curately against a wall and heaved off a when we walk through town late at night. second storey verandah, bounced off a pic­ Like "Who are you?", "Where are you go­ ket fence and into the yard behind? ing" and "Why". Not to mention the pe­ Strange but true. rennial "So... what's in the bag?"can often Part of the spell involves emptying ex­ turn a dull night into an exciting one. And actly two ash trays full of grot into the now now I know, where ever I go, the (Police) vacant case, and impact disassembling se­ Force is with me.

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SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 3 shoppers to buy more ofa given range of products and also to disuade would-be thieves from stealing. But the question is, does a BACKWARDS mes­ sage on a similar musical recording have any effect on the listener? Neurologist Dr William Yarroll from Colorado has done extensive studies with U.C.L.A. and Standford University on the brains capacity for storing and decoding information. Be­ low is a paraphrased version of a statement in a letter to Paul Crouch, Jr. of Santa Ana, California, a researcher of Rock music. He says: "Conditional response mechanisms are stored in the reticular activating centres at the base of the brain. These mechanisms screen out unacceptable information that we don't want programmed into our minds. However, WHEN THE INFORMA­ TION ENTERS THE BRAIN BACKWARDS, IT PASSES THROUGH THE PRELIMINARY SCREI:- NING AREA WITHOUT BEING REJECTED AND IS STORED IN OUR SUB-CONSCIOUS MIND FOR FURTHER AND FUTURE ACCESS." (emphasis supplied) Is it not conceivable therefore, that a backward.s message on a recording could be used to suggest V^i things to the listener that they would otherwise be hesitant to accept? If so, what sort of backmasked me.s,sages, if any, are found on popular records? "The most amazing example (of Backmasking) is The Beatles' song 'Helter Skelter' from the 'White Album', which was religiously played thousands of times by hippie guru Charles Manson, who in 1969, with a group of followers butchered actress Sharon Tate and .some of her friends with knives." "Lyrics reversed on 'Helter Skelter' state: 'Take some blood, take the blade. Satan. She's Tate, she's Tate.' Says Greg: 'This was like striking gold to us. Manson listened to the record over and over, and in court claimed he heard voices telling him to have With The Tate killed'." ("People", February 1, 1988, p.6) Another early example ofbackmaskingcan again be found on The Beatles' "White" album in the song "Revolution 9". When played normally, the song itself isn't really a song at all in the normal sense of the word. It consists ofa monotonous ca­ cophony of the phrase "Number Nine (9)" repea­ ted over and over for about two minutes, without ;any musical accompaniment! To any normal per­ son, this probably all seems absurd in itself. In re­ "Backmasking" ~ is it pure gimmicky or does something more sinister lurkvers ine however, the phrase comes out as a muffled "Turn me on Dead man". It should be obvious that your average black vinyl disc. Phil Smith reports... the message isn't clearly discernable by writing "Number Nine" in reverse which gives "ENIN It has been said that, "Music has charms to sooth a savage beast, to soften rocks, or REBMUN". Apparently this whole thing was done bend a knotted oak." (Congreve). Unless you are unfortunate enough to be tone as a publicity stunt, designed to lead a gullible deaf, which isn't all that common, most ofus enjoy music according to our own young audience to believe that Paul McCartney was dead so that for some strange reason, they'd rush personal tastes and background, and rightly so. out and buy the album. Word has it that the gim­ Since its inception in the late fifties and early sixties, "Rock 'n' Roll", has ex­ mick was unmasked by someone who was on a high ploded into an industry which grosses fifteen billion dollars annually; more than from taking LSD, and heard the reverse message the combined income of motion pictures, television, sport, and theatre. Rock music when the song was played! has been called many things and classified in many ways. Some view the pheno­ But how do these backwards messages actually menon of Rock in Western cultures as one by-product of a society that has broken appear in the first place? The only way backmasking away from its traditional basis and is looking for something new to hold onto, a new can be properly engineered at the present time, is by singing something forwards, reversing it, and God as it were. Craig Chaquico of thegroup "Jefferson Starship" (now "Starship") in then playing it back onto the master record or tape. an interview with "Bay Area Magazine" in February 1977 said that: There are numerous examples where this has been "Rock Concerts are the CHURCHES OF TODAY. Music puts them on a spiritual done. The most definite example is found in the song "Fire On High" from E.L.O.'s album "Face plane. All music is God." the Music". Played forward the song sounds very weird musically and the lyrics are completely un­ However, much of todays popular Rock culture LISTENING IS REVERSED! These messages are is for the most part at odds with the beliefs and intelligible. Almost instinctively, the discerning ear usually audio messages only and are seldom found can tell that the music and the lyrics have been ethical values of any orthodox religion like Chris­ by simply writing the lyrics in reverse. The follo­ tianity or Islam. Guitarist Gene Simmons from the recorded in reverse. But when the tune is played in wing quote from "People" provides a startling in­ reverse the message comes through in a deep, clear, group KISS in an interview with "Circus" magazine troduction to this topic: is quoted assaying; voice and tells us that: "References to Satan and evil overtones lurk on "If God is hot stuff, why is He afraid to have other many rock music records according to two Austra- "Music is reversible, but time is not. Turn Back... Turn Back ... Turn Back." ^""^j.-wc"'^ "',"'• ^ ^"^'^ ^ ^^"^^^^ '"''"^'^'^ ^° ^"^ lian researchers who believe they have found a way God! (September 1976, p, 42,) ^^^ ^ead peoples minds. All that is needed ... is a Here we have a testimony in song to the rever­ Leon Russell who played keyboards for the show decent tape recorder. The key is to tape a record or sibility of music from those who are obviously "in the know". But what else are they trying to tell us? "Mad Dogs and Englishmen", said in Dec 1970: someone's conversation and play it backwards slowly. Another gimmick perhaps? "I'd like to say that organised Christianity has Messages in robot-like tones are often heard ... Af- done more harm than any other single force I can ter more than a year of listening to tape after tape, But how is it possible that in the examples of think of in the world ... His alternative - THE RE- they (David Oates and Greg Albrecht) have disco- backmasking that follow, and many others, the re­ LIGION-OF ROCK AND ROLL." ("Rolling vered about 3,000 examples of backmasking." cordings played forwards are generally intelligible, Stone", p.35) (Emphasis supplied] ("People", February 1 1988, page 6) both lyrically and musically? And why do some su­ But the exact nature ofthis so called new religion Subliminal messages have been used in adverti- bliminal reverse messages on popular Rock records has been poorly defined by its self appointed gurus, sing for many years. One technique involves fla- seem evil or contain references to Satan? although some of the high priests and priestesses of shing a visual image of say a bottle of Coca Cola Earlier it was mentioned that many big names in Rock obviously have a creed... "Do what thou wilt, onto the screen for a fraction ofa second before an the Rock industry believe their music has a power­ this shall be the whole of the law!" A recent article in audience in a movie theatre. While the picture itself ful spiritual influence on people. A significant num­ "People" magazine entitled "Dark Side ofthe Tune" is undetected by the conscious mind, it penetrates ber of these musicians have publicly declared, in reports on work which has been carried out on to the viewers sub-conscioUsness with the result of interviews with leading rock journals, their interest music ofall forms, especially Heavy Rock, by two boosting sales for that product. Subliminal mes­ or involvement in strange ancient cults. For in­ Australian researcners, Uavid Oates and Greg Al­ sages can alsobe placed in musical recordings which stance, "Circus" magazine, in October 1977 page brecht. They have spent over a year investigating are then played in supermarkets. The FORWARD 28 said of Daryl Hall from Hall and Oates fame the phenomenon of BACKMASKING which isbest messages are "masked" onto a musical recording, that: defined as a SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE HIDDEN IN composed of MILDLY HYPNOTIC RHYTHMS "An admitted initiate of magic, he (Daryl Hall) A SONG THAT CAN ONLY BE DISCOVERED and sweet melodies, in a way that makes it unde- claims his song "Winged Bull" is dedicated to an WHEN THE NORMAL SEQUENCE OF MUSIC tectable to the listener. They are designed to coax ancient Celtic religion".

4 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 ven", which was at one time, the most popular song (Yes, Hitler was an occultist!!), and anything else in ever! The lyrics and tune are hauntingly beautiful, the song titles or lyrics that generally speaking and seem to tell a strange tale of a journey along seems to depict mysticism and/or mock Christia­ some mystical path to a new life. However many nity. sections of the tune in reverse say something quite So what conclusions can we draw from the ma­ different. terial presented herein? When the music is com­ "Yes there are TWO PATHS you can by, bined with lyrics that produce suggestive subli­ and did you know. minal backmasking in reverse, what chance does Your stairway lies on the whispering wind." the average person have to stop their minds being Backwards: programmed, their self-control undermined, and "I will sing cause I live with Satan". their sense of common decency destroyed? And if evil supernatural spiritual agenciesdo actually exist Some readers probably think this is all mumbo and possess, and literally SPEAK THROUGH jumbo, hogwash, or at best a strange coincidence. AND PLAY MUSICL\NS as some have claimed, However, Led Zepplin's Robert Plant, who wrote Heavy Rock music's power must logically increase the lyrics for "Stairway to Heaven", doesn'tseem to several orders of magnitude. Hogwash you say? think so. He told "Circus" in 1972 that: Maybe it is, but to echo the words of Jimmy Page " 'Stairway to Heaven' gets the best reaction from "Stairway to Heaven" ... oh and it makes me from any number we do ... (It) was basically con­ wonder! ceived on the spot lyrically ... THE LYRICS VU P.S. Please note that the author, at the time of Also we find that some rock performers even PROUD OF, SOMEBODY PUSHED MY PEN FOR ME I THINK." (Emphasis supplied) writing this article, is not convinced that Australia's claim to be "possessed" as revealed in this state­ Bicentennial theme song, "Let's Make It Great In ment by John McLaughlin in "Circus", April 1972 Who is this "somebody" that Robert Plant is '88", has any evil or satanic backmasking. Sources page 36: talking about? Let's fact it, being able to consciou­ consulted for this article include two (2) videos on "One night we were playing and suddenly, the sly speak and think backwards is a remarkable feat Heavy Rock Music and where-ever possible original spirit entered into me, and I was playing; but it was in itself although, of the sources consulted to write sources have been sought after with limited success. no longer me playing". this article, no Rock star has actually claimed to be One small book "What's Wrong With The Music" Angus Young from AC/DC believes; an exempt adept or to be able to think backwards. by R.L. Acea, contained many ofthe same quotes as But if one were to considers the possibility of in­ the above mentioned videos and through consen­ "I never think about what I'm doing on stage. It's voking "supernatural guidance" in the writing and like I'm on automatic pilot. Someone else is stee- sus and agreement of both sources, quotes were even singing of tunes, as Robert Plant has intimated used. riTig me. I'm just along for the ride. I BECOME in the above quote,seeming impossibilities become POSSESSED WHEN I'M ON STAGE. It's not some­ plausible realities. If there is to be found any evi­ thing I consciously do." ("Hit Parade", July 1985, dence of intervention by superior intelligences in a page 60) (Emphasis supplied) musical production, it would more than likely ap­ Many more rock artists are professed initiates or pear in the Backmasking itself. Plant's statement is believers in the occult. Some even flaunt the idea clearly supported by both the backmasked verses in that they openly worship the Devil or Satan or Lu­ "Stairway to Heaven", and also by the hypothesis of cifer .as God. Mostly we find however that their the David Oates and Greg Albrecht which proposes interest in, magic is more ofan overgrown curiou- that our inner thoughts come out in reversed sity. Jimmy Page, lead singer from the band Led speech. If a writer or performer is under the control Ze'pplin said this in "Hit Parade" July 1985, p.64: ofsome agency other than theniself, as many rock "I do not worship the Devil, but magic does in­ artists evidently claim to be, then their thoughts are trigue me." not their own and reverse messages like those given Jimmy Page owns the largest occult bookshop in above, could make sense. England called "Equinox". He also lives in an old Led Zepplin aren't the only offenders. The group mansion called the Boleskin House, located on the STYX, the name being taken froin the mythical. shores of Loch Ness, that was once the home ofa river Styx over which souls were supposedly ferried gentleman by the name of Alister Crowley. Crowley to the land of the dead, in their album "Corner­ was indeed a very interesting character. He openly stone", have a backmasked mes.sage in their song claimed to be the Devil incarnate, an Anti-Christ, "Snowblind" which says: and even dared to equate himself with The Beast "Satan move in our voices." that has the number 666 as mentioned in the Bible The album title "Cornerstone" is a term taken in the Book of Revelation and Chapter 13. He was directly from the Bible which refers to Jesus Christ Grand Magus or high priest of a secret Rosicrucian Here are a few interesting quotes dealing with who is' the ROCK AND CORNERSTONE upon this topic: society called The Order of the Golden Dawn. He which the Christian church is built. But the back- also wrote a book called "Magick in Theory and Practice" which explained the secrets of the dia­ "And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as light­ bolic arts and Witchcraft. In this book, instructions ning fall from heaven." - Luke 10:18 are given to the initiate on how to perfect the craft and progress upward.s to higher degrees. Once they "And no marvel; forSatan himself is transformed reach the stage whct: they can be classified as an into an angel of light." II Corinthians 11:14 "Exempt Adept", a new dimension is introduced to the practice of the craft which may help us unlock 17 "... that no man might buy or sell, save he that the mysterv' of backm.isking. In one particular chap­ had the mark, or the name of rhc beast, or the ter he instruct.' the exempt adept to learn to and number ofhis name." practice thinking, saying prayers, talking, singing, 18 "Here is wi.sdom. Let him that hath under­ watching movies, and listening to musical records standing count the numberof the beast: for it is the and tapes... BACKWARDS! number of a man; and his number is six hundred three-score and six." - Revelation 13:17,18 Our two intrepid Australian researchers have dis­ covered examples of backmasking which could "And the great dragan was cast out, that old prove invaluable in the light of what has just been serpent called the devil and Satan, which deceivcth said. the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and "They say many backmasking examples follow his angels were cast out with him." - Revelation the same train of thought as what is being said in 12: actuality. They cite Neil Armstrong's famous line from his moon walk in 1969: "That's one small step "Then Jesus said to him, 'Be gone Satan! For it is for inan..." in reverse it becomes, "Man will walk in written, you shall worship the Lord your God and space." ma.'-ked invocation to Satan is just another cla.^Mc shall serve him only'," - Matthew 4:10 "David says- oi this crystal clear example: "It's e.xample showing how an occultist can and will per­ perfectlv logical tliat this may have been Armstrong's vert the imagery and symbols ofthe Bible. "And do not be conformed to this world, but be SUBCdNSC10U.*= THOUGHT," ("People", p.7) Fortunate'y for the humble music lover, it isn't transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you With the son of experience and skill that these terribly difficult to work out which records are may prove what the will of God is, that which is occult initiates develope, they could conceivably likely to be corrupted with suspect songs and good and acceptable and perfect." - R jinans 1 2:2 speak or think forwards while subconsciously thin­ backmasking. The album cover usually gives all the king something else that would, if reversed, per­ nece.ssary clues as to what the group is into. Keep "Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man haps be a message which includes invocations to your eyes peeled for "Heavy Metal" groups who on them." - .Madonna, "Spin". May 1985, p 44 evil spirits and Satan. employ symbols like: crucifixes both upright and Remember, the backwards message is a tonal or inverted, pentagrams (five pointed stars), HEXa- "Rock and Roll is all sex!" - Debbie Harry, audio message and can't uiiually be discovered by grams (six pointed star), one of which appears on "Circus", July 1977, p 40 writing the forward text in reverse and then saying the inside cover of Led Zepplin's "Stairway to Hea­ "When it comes to sick, Ozzy Osbourne knows it. However, in an attempt to demonstrate that sub­ ven" album and is used in witchcraft for the in­ his stuff! Some ofthe folks at CBS were at a meeting conscious thoughts can in fact sonietimes show up vocation ofan evil spirit (a HEX), the number ofthe when Ozzy plucked a dove from his pocket and on a reversed recordings, as suggested by David Beast, 666 (a topic which deserves some investi­ chewed its head off, and spat the re­ Oates, the content and train of thought in the gation of its own in some future issue of SEMPER!) mains on the table. His explanation - suffering forward lyrics of a song needs to be analysed, and eagles, demons, beautiful winged angels, goats from Jet Lag!" - "Rolling Stone", 1981 then compared with the backmasked message to heads (a biblical symbol for the Devil), hooded or • see if there is any correlation that matches the ex­ cloaked mysterious looking figures, glowing trian­ "I don't know if I'm a medium for some outside ample given above. The following verses are ex­ gles with eyes in them, lightning bolts as drawn in force, whatever it is. Frankly, I hope it's not what I cerpts from Led Zepplin's song "Stairway to Hea­ the word KI, the Swastika of Nazi Germany fame think - Satan!" - Ozzy Osbourne, "Hit Parade".

SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 5 THE BITTER CAKE By Kevin Carmody Kindly reprinted from Social Alternatives

The theme of European Australia's Bicentenary is: "Living Together'* - Living White Australia must be made to understand together for what? Living together when? Most importantly, how we live together? that the brutal legacy of the past is our constant These are questions this short dissertation will touch upon. What quality of life can present. We are a product of oppression now. The we as Aboriginal people expect in the future, ifwe scrutinise the last 200 years as the forceful and brutal treatment and verbal denigra­ tion of our people continue unabated. We were model of "Living Together" with the European people who invaded our land? forcibly coUectivised onto reserves and missions Can we expect more forced assimilation, the out­ This land was not "pioneered and settled", it was and pushed onto town fringes. Our children were comes of which have produced disasterous statistics invaded and occupied, with no recompense, com­ put in foster homes, orphanages, and white insti­ in our health, education, economic circumstances, passion or reparations to us, the indigenous people. tutions. Families were torn apart, young children culture and spirituality? Will "Living Together" in­ It was and is brutal and bloody, and unended con­ taken away. Our uncles, aunties, and grandparents clude the environmental and spiritual aspects, as flict that is justified in part, by the application ofthe were worked in elite homes, businesses and pastoral well as the human dimension? The theme should be legal fiction of Terra Nullius, a legal term castigated properties for nothing, or a nominal pittance. We "Together — Living" in the sense that the harmony in the U.N. Charter, and the Indigenous Declara­ were worked as domestics and stockmen. between individuals and the ecological and human tion on Human Rights in 1985. The whole legal, The pastoral industry is built upon black backs environment that surrounds them, should be the economic and social structure of white Australia is and black land. The giant pastoral families and com­ keystone of human interaction. "Living" with the founded upon a colonial lie. The Federal Govern­ panies own their prosperity to grand theft and our emphasis on quality and human dignity and respect ment last year (1987) consolidated this untruth in human enslavement. Many of these people have for the sacredness and sanctity ofthe land and our The Aboriginal land (Lake Condah and Framling- become knights ofthe realm. The pastoral industry fellow human beings. ham Forest) Act 1987 and The Aboriginal and Tor­ and the mining companies pour miUions into ad­ If the theme is mooted to project a positive re­ res Strait Islander Heritage Protection Amendment vertising, and active suppression of our cal! for sponse it must be weighted against the severely Act 1987 where it states: Land Rights, because of the massive economic re­ negative outcomes it has produced and will perpe­ "The Commonwealth DOES NOT acknowledge tribution they would have to contend with, if the tuate in our culture. The "Bicentenary" should not inter alia: The land in question was originally moral principles of the Land Rights struggle were be staged without first resolving the questions of Aboriginal land, 'was traditionally owned, occu­ recognised. The irony is that many of these op­ our sovereignty, self determination and self ma­ pied, used and enjoyed by Aboriginals in accor­ pressors of our people are "Christians", and bas­ nagement. Unless white Australia resolves these dance with Aboriginal laws, customs, traditions tions of the Christian church, who conveniently fundamental concepts each individual who parta­ and practices'..." forget the Commandments which state: "Thou shall not steal", "Thou shall not kill". kes of the celebration cake, will taste the 200 years The struggle by us for land rights is being eroded of bitterness in its ingredients. through the colonial imported law yet again. These For these reasons the Bicentenary in 1988 is a The genocide was massive. Revised academic fi­ year of shame for White Australia. gures put our population in 1787 above 1,000,000; Many strategies are employed by white vested by 1900 61,000 of us were left. Introduced dis­ 'White Australia must be made to interests, to warp the Australian public's conscious­ eases, smallpox, measles, flu, venereal disease, poi- • understand that the brutal legacy of the ness and foster an anti-black bias. Terminology is a son and bullets decimated our people. Deaths in valued component in the constant propaganda and custody today are a progression of this ongoing, past is our constant present. We are a verbal denigration they heap upon Black Australia. undeclared war. The real history ofthis land is yet to product of oppression now. Terms such as "ethnic". We are not ethnic. White be written and internalised by the present white Australia is.They are the European ethnic majority. colonialists. The real history of this continent is "Barbarians" and "savages" are terms used frequently black. The historian Ward postulates that we may facts white Australia will also find in the Bicenten­ in earlier government reports. History must be have been here 120,000 years ago; from our point of nial cake. Will they digest or regurgitate it? Closely made to acknowledge that the white invaders are view we were always here. We were always in this connected with the fallacy of Terra Nullius is the the new technological barbarians and that they are land and it succoured and sustained us. whitewash, and abolition of guilt, shame and res­ as warlike and cruel as any "savages" that human­ Before White Australia begins to assemble fora ponsibility by white Australia for the dispossession kind has so far produced. White people have im­ piece ofthe celebration cake it should note that the or genocide it produces. "We're not responsible for prisoned, whipped, chained, enslaved and killed chief ingredient is blood, our blood, and it will leave what happened in the past," is the panacea for the their own and other people on a scale so massive it is an indelible and bitter stain. white conscience. beyond the comprehension ofa civilised mentality.

6 SEMPER FLORET MAY 1988 The colonialists are without peer throughout the 20% who control the media. The school history The environmental impact of 200 years of ma­ world for their barbaric, bloody savagery. White taught in Australian schools is also an illusion; terialistic exploitation will be assessed by our grand­ Australians are the immigrants to our land. We are "Cook discovered Australia"; stories of brave "ex­ children's children. The main population of Aus­ termed a "nomadic" people. In fact Europeans phy­ plorers" who in many instances were economic out­ tralia is confined to the green arc from Cairns to sically and mentally are the ultimate global nomads. siders for pastoral and mining interests. The un- Adelaide, which is around 300km wide. This is Economic materialism dictates their geographic shakeable nexus between the three C's of Colo­ where 80% of the white Australian population live, global position. They are like the desert dust in a nialism, Capitalism and Christianity has neverbeen in urban enclaves and farming communities. This is high wind. Wc have always been here within our critically exposed. The quality of life is equated Australia to them, the green places where Europe well defined community boundaries for countless with howbig a persons' bank balance is, as ifyou can has been precariously transplanted. But this is not millenia. buy a quality of life. You can purchase a style of life, the essence ofthis continent They must come to The continued occupation without reparations but not a quality of existence. terms with the other 4,000 kms from the 300 km by White Australia is compounding the grand theft The moral and ethical basis ofthe white .society is line westward to the Indian Ocean. That is the es­ initiated by their 1788 forebears. The 1988 cele- never seriouslvquestioned in the educa tionsystem. sence and heart of this land. They have always re­ br.ation cake is iced with our dispossession. The If an education system and a society perpectuates ferred to the interior as "arid", "harsh", "inhos­ lies and half-truths the only conclusion to be drawn pitable", "barren", "wasteland". The beauty, vast- is that it is blatant propaganda. The Bicentennial ness and majesty ofthe landscape is not seen and is heritage is based upon 200 years of lies, propaganda reduced by the economic materialists, to deroga­ The western education and social and educational deceit. tory terms. It's not economic, therefore they deni­ system also presents progress and grate it as they did our people who occupied it for The western education and social system also thousands of years. development as desirable goals, presents progress and development as desirable irrespective of whether their processes goals, irrespective of whether their processes de­ This land's indigenous animals all had padded devastate the land or devalue the vastate the land or devalue the human quality of feet and walked softly upon the earth. The intro­ human quality of existence. existence. The new god is technological innova­ duced species cattle, horses and sheep produced tion, which in reality enslaves and threatens people erosion paths to the water; guillies formed; rivers, more and more efficiently through its research and streams and billabongs become silted polluted and development. The consumer society must even­ sterile. Overgrazing by millions of head of animals tually consume itself. stripped the grass cover from the delicate earth and recurring question thrown at us is: "which piece of wind and water took millions of tonnes to the sea. land do you want - we can't have a nation within a This is not progress but in many instances it is a regression. Technological research has developed The pastoral, farming and mining conglomerates Tiation". Why not? Let us use the analogue of the continue the 200 year heritage of environmental Catholic church. It's a constituted state recognised more horrendous weapons for the gods of war. The destructive capabiUty ofthe super powers is enough rape all in the name of materialistic greed. This too, by all countries and the U.N. It has diplomats, a the Bicentennial celebrates. financial structure and a philosophy. It is a state to incinerate humankind many times over. The sta­ theocracy. Its headquarters are in Europe but its ging of Expo, (a key component on the Bicenten­ members and adherents are in every country in the nial agenda) in Queensland is a celebration of this world. Those practising the rules and lifestyle ofthe technological mentality - an economic expose of The Black communities of this land Vatican own allegiance firstly to the church, and rampant materialistic gadgetry. Not only are we to know this was the first Eden. We and secondly to the country in which they live. Catho­ admire it, we must pay for the privilege of doing so. lics have died for the spiritual principles ofthe Va­ Tax payer's money was used to decimate a human the flora and fauna are unique. We tican when they conflicted with the secular laws of and historic community on the South Bank, for the practised a harmony, balance and the countries in which they lived. The spiritual rules benefit ofthe contractors engaged to build the edi­ spiritual rapport with the land, that and laws of the Vatican take precedence over the fices, and then the .site will be sold back to deve­ 'White Australia must emulate if they secular laws of the State. The Catholic church can lopers, all for the benefit ofthe materialistic eUte, are to gain a quality of existence be viewed as a nation within a nation. Through the and we the public pay to see it. The taxpayers in fact beyond the short-sighted focus hierarchical church apparatus money is funnelled have subsidised the materialistic and economic in­ from countries around the world to the Vatican terests of multi-nationals and r\ational corporations. of materialism. Bank. This is on a global scale, to implement the The powerful in the white society maintain their same concept here, for the benefit of Black Aus­ positions of privilege through a triangual hierarchy tralia is viable. Our own financial system, flag, laws, of dominance with themselves firmly in control at The Black communities of this land know this was the first Eden. We and the flora and fauna are language and education system could be imple­ the apex. Black society had no Kings, no Queens unique. We practised a harmony, balance and spi­ mented and Black Australians could be accepted as etc, but a consensus of elders; we had no titles that ritual rapport with the land, that White Australia a nation of communities. denoted status and position such as: "Sir", "Your Worship", "Your Grace", "My Lady", "My Lord", must emulate if they are to gain a quality of exis­ "Your Majesty", etc. This white societal structure tence beyond the short-sighted focus of materia­ of dominance indirectly is celebrated in the Bicen­ lism. The conservation movement would do well to The Bicentennial celebrates a tennial. White Australia has been conned into ce­ learn from us. How many wilderness, ornotholo- nationalistic, jingoistic, materialistic lebrating their own subjugation by the system. gical and bushwalking clubs and societies are cele­ brating the Bicentennial? Do they celebrate the European heritage. They have If you celebrate in 1988 what are you celebra­ destruction of the most precious environmental transplanted Europe to this land and ting? Does white Australia know who they are? We, gift humankind can have? Where is their conscience? through selective racist migration as the indigenous people of this continent, certainly Where are their environmental convictions? Will policies, have kept the Caucasian do. What is the white Australian identity? The cul­ they stand with us in condemning this celebration ture is imported; the language, law, religion and of environmental destruction? element dominant. social norms are alien, being located in Europe. Ours is not We are a product of this land. Geo­ In conclusion it should be noted that the inter­ graphically the continent is part of Asia. The Bulletin national community will be watching the Bicenten­ of the 1880's portrayed a sexist stereotype of the nial celebrations with interests. Already film crews If White Australia finds the above points unpa­ bronzed Caucasian male as the Australian image. from Germany, France, Belgium and New Zealand latable - something they can't face, it's no wonder. The Digger legend and the sun bronzed Ufesaver are staying here for the full year, and they are vitally They are conditioned to accepting illusions. Illu- have all played their part in the search for a White interested in how the Blacks of this country are siotis such as Equality, Democracy and Capitahsm. Australian identity. Now we have Crocodile Dun­ treated. White Australia's past history of our dis­ This economic system cannot exist without ine­ dee who is in reality an URBAN dwelling former possession will be under close and critical scrutiny. quality. The "haves" live from the productive la­ Harbour Bridge painter. Land Rights and our Sovereignty will be issues that will be highlighted on the international forum. Af­ bour of the "have-nots". The statistics show that White Australia has not yet discovered their iden­ 20% of the Australian population owns and control ter South Africa, Australia is the last bastion of tity even after 200 years. They celebratean image of European colonialism where the rights of the in­ 80% of the wealth. Through the media, capitalism what they would desire to be. sells the illusion that anybody can make it to the top digenous populace have yet to be recognised. of the financial ladder, but it conveniently forgets The Bicentennial celebrates a nationalistic, jin­ If White Australia persists in celebrating 200 to add that the first rung of that ladder is some goistic, materialistic European heritage. They have years of colonial shame so be it. But each and every $1,000,000 from the base line. With the systems transplanted Europe to this land and through se­ individual before they do so, should honestly ask based upon the 20%-80% dichotomy, there can be lective racist migration policies, have kept the Cau­ themselves: why celebrate 1988? In light ofthe few no equality; the system negates it and its very sur­ casian element dominant. This has led to cultural questions raised here, (which are but a few of the vival depends on keeping the class divisions rigid. schizophrenia; their culture is located in Europe myriad points that need to be addressed), the an­ Democracy is an idealistic concept that has no basis and their geographic position in Asia. The xeno­ swers must come down on the side of moral and in reality in this colonial society. Democracy is de­ phobia this produces, is manifest in the constant ethical principles. If not, each individual is Hving an fined as: warnings about bellow hordes from the north. oppressive lie and under international pressure and White Australia is seen internationally as one ofthe censure they could find that they will eventually 1) Tolerance of minorities most racist countries on Earth. It has a seige men­ choke on the black currants in the Bicentennial 2) Government//// the people (not the 47 or 48% tality, threatened from within by the Asian hordes. birthday cake. that vote for the ruling party) and They are an insecure nation wanting to hide be­ 3) Absence of hereditary class distinctions. neath the nuclear umbrella ofone ofthe super po­ Kevin Carmody is a Murfiperson Joing a Ph.D. in History at the These illusions are force fed to the 80% by the wers, economic colonisers, America. Um'virsity of Queensland. He is also active as a singer and song writer.

SEMPERFLOREAT MAY 1988 7 Semper's Foreign Correspondant, Richard Newsome, almost met R ana Id R eagan... I Should Be been drilled in their routines and trained until that last drop of perkiness glistened from the skin. The band was still trying to get it together but proud parents gave reassuring nods as the brass section struck up 'Hail to the Chief while the tuba player was pumping out strain!? ofthe 'Red Flag'. At that moment the first ofseveral aluminium-suited gents raised their heads. They tended to stick out while So Lucky standing in a crowd of t-shirted and levied people. Dateline: Saukville, rural Wisconsin. An overcast day in latejuly. A light breeze To a man, they were 6'4", blonde, dressed in navy disturbs the Stars and Stripes, hanging limply from a flagpole in the town square. A blue suits, and wearing reflecto shades. Out of each typical scene from middle America. This is where I would meet the President of the left ear stuck an earpiece. Either this was a new eastern fashion trend yet to make it in Wisconsin, United States. It's an unlikely spot for a rendezvous. Saukville is small town, USA. It or the Secret Service was on a field trip. Turns out closes down on Sundays, it roots for the Green Bay Packers and it votes Republican. these boys had been hanging around for the pas; So much Republican that some presidential aide with a sense of humour threw a dart week, asking questions about any suspicious cha­ in a road atlas ofthe mid-north and decided Ronald Reagan should pay these good racters and quizzing the paper boy about his po­ folk a visit. So Washington packed up for the day, loaded Ron into the back ofa litical affiliations. Orders were given that nobody bullet-proof limo and headed west. was to occupy a second floor window as the pre­ sident's convoy arrived. Memories of Dallas, Jack I too was headed west, squeezed tight into my nable, and certainly the good folk of Saukville Kennedy and expensive state funerals were stiK early model Toyota Corolla and LA bound. The car didn't mind. A makeshift grandstand of five tiers fresh in a few people's minds. Which went part way was eating oil so I pulled off the interstate and eased was erected on the roadside, side streets were bloc­ to explaining all the fuss about a visit by a the pre­ the Wacker-mobile into the quiet streets of Sauk­ ked off, the local school's pom-pom girls were war­ sident. Jim said most presidents since Kennedy had ville. The car was named the Wacker-mobile after ming up and a hassled band leader was yelling at his taken to riding behind bullet-proof glass and sel­ the young university student I bought it from, band members to "Fer chrissakes tune-up already!" dom got out to press the flesh with the real people. Michael A. Wacker of Baton Rouge, Lousiana. I Jim informed me that a visit by a president was an None of the town's kids had seen Reagan in the didn't bother to tell him what his surname would do important part of a town's history, and as far as flesh so it was a great moment to him if he ever visited Australia. Mind you, any anyone could recall, Saukville had not been on any "Last president I saw was Johnson, and that was university student who confuses Kenya with Aus­ presidents' itinery since George Washington rolled no big deal," he said. the Redcoats. tralia needs as much help as you can get - "So, you So with secret servicemen mingling in the crowd, have many lions down there?" Apparently the mayor had been up all night re­ second storey windows nailed shut and more police "Uh „. no, not that many ,.." hearsing his welcome speech and a speical plaque than at a Brisbane brothel patrolling the streets, "So, what language do you speak?" had been struck to be presented to the great man to the crowd waited. It waited some more. After doing I wondered how you said "Your mother's a vir­ commemorate the visit The pom-pom girls had that, it waited a while longer. Jim informed me the gin" in Swahili but skipped it. He may have been a literal wacker but his car ran well and was right now parked outside a diner on the town limit of Sauk­ ville, a thousand miles from Chez Wacker, LA. Inside the diner a couple of elderly locals were huddled around a table-top video game, nursing a couple of long-neck beers and discussing the Re­ ^ ^ publican Party; A long wood-panelled bar stretched the length of the diner and disappeared into what must have been a kitchen behind a set of swinging doors. Baseball and football memorabilia line the walls and a television set stands high in one corner, blinking down on the congregation. A news pro­ gram is playing so I settle down to the latest from Atlanta while 1 wait for my lunch. As always, Ronald Reagan features prominantly and the blue-eyed news reader outlines the president's itinery for a rare tour of Wisconsin. I almost choke on a pickle as the name 'Saukville" floats over the airwaves. Saukville! Here! Ronald Reagan is coming here?! "Yep, should be here in about 40 minutes," one of the old timers at the video game informs me. By 'here' I assumed the great man was not drop­ ping into the diner for a quick BLT and a Bud, so I gulped down my cheeseburger and headed into town. Ifyou can say one thing about Saukville, civic pride rates high on the list From the storefront of ever\' shop surrounding the central town square there were signs and posters calling greeting to Ro­ nald Reagan. It was rumoured one ofthe city fathers had gone into bunting futures and was now sunning himself in Rio. The place was alive with red, white and blue. The district's population was out in force, with nigh on 1,500 people in town for the big events. But why was Big Ron leaving the reassuring familiarity of Pennsylvania Avenue for the grass roots. I asked a local what the score was, and he turned out to be a former town policeman. Let's call him Jim. It seems Ron was on the way to a large rally to sell his budget proposals, and Saukville happe­ ned to be on the same road, so why not get some vote-catching in at the same time? Seemed reaso-

8 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 town had spent $24,000 on security and prepara­ tions for this honour. That's a lot of money for a town whose police chief doubles as the dog catcher. I told Jim and his son, a college student, about the time I met Australia's own great chief, Bob Hawke, when he was on tour. It was in Rockhampton in Central Queensland. An overweight police serge­ ALU'i-Jt^K.. ant had been dragged away from the illegal casino \ii!^V'J^ long enough to meet the PM at the airport, and that was about it as far as security went Hawke had to W'<

'',',''•' battle his way through a huge crowd of fans, media H^% 'M i and cow manure to get-to the Commonwealth car « that was waiting for him. And when you stand two <;*»5 inches shorter than John Howard, that's no easy yjr^K' y-'K task. Any mad assa.ssin with a pygmy blowgun could tY'. m, have done him in, no trouble. I guess the hefty mWr^-'r.^. • 'jt^ Federal sales tax on kurare saved Hawke's bacon that day. But things in Saukville were a little more tense. The local Legion Post, sort of like the RSL but more •fV.\f. ^ •^•<< con.servative, had organised an honour guard, com­ in^h plete with ceremonial rifles. The SS men took one ^m look at the rusted, bolt action, firearms, possibly •.*'• ^WB^ ^^' not fired since the notorious armidillo uprising of '^. v^'••iii* m* '58. and decided the legion was not quite that con­ i":^)?.

•:'•..••'.':.;< servative and confiscated them. So we are left with K;' the following: • one unarmed legion honour guard, .sans riHes: • 1.500 bored and tired onlookers wondering why Reagan is an hour late: • one iuayor with a c(jmmemorative phique anci nerves of'sushi: • one team ot pom-pom girls whose pom-poms are starling to wiit: and MW^ •.•<'V ii^ p'--m • one bra.ss band, still trying to 'fer chrissakes tune- f-'^i,'V' up. already". '^•m Suddenly, a wave of excitement swept through s^iJiJBSt •ffift?^ «iU»^' s^fti the crowd as the lirst of half a dozen helicopters ^<

SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 9 GRADUATE OPPORTUNITIES WITH MIM

M.I.M. Holdings Limited Is a major mining •Participation in azinc refinery (50%)and zinc Graduate Opportunities with MIM •Contributory superannuation scheme effec­ and mineral processing company, based products paint (33.3%) in West Germany; Each year MIM has vacancies for newly tive immediately covering retirement, death in Queensland, with Interests spread •Mining ot coal Irom Queensland's Bowen qualified graduates across the following ca­ and disablement cover. across the world. Basin at Newlands (steaming), Collnsville (co­ tegories: •Refund ol hospital and medical expenses. The M\M graup traces ils origins to 1924 king and steaming) and Oaky Creek (coking •Engineering - chemical, civil, electronic, •In Ihe case ol Mount Isa.returnairlares from following the discovery of silver-lead-zinc ore and steaming- MIM 79%); electrical, mechanical, metallurgical and min­ Mount Isa lo Brisbane on annual leave. at Mount Isa Ihe previous year. •Export of coal through Abbot point and Dal- ing. •Removal and travel expenses paid. The new field was nearly 800 kilometres rympie Bay; Science - chemistry, computing, geology, Inland from Australia's east coast, a factor •Gold Mining at Ravenswood in North Queens­ Promotion which, coupled with the harsh environment, mathematics, metallurgy and physics. land and a further mine at Tom's Gulley in the isolationandminingand treatment problems, •Business - adminislralion and commerce. Staff vacancies are advertised throughout was for many years to threaten the economic NT. planned to enter production in lale 1988; Two thirds ol new graduates will be em­ the Group and preference is given to internal viability ol the new mining operation. •Marketing ol the group's diverse mineral ployed at Mount Isa, with the balance taken applicants. Appointment to senior positions is normally made from within. Transfers be­ By 1930, neither Australian nor British in­ and metal products; into our coal operations at Colinsville, New- •Trading in metals and minerals; lands, Oaky Creek, refining at Townsville or tween Group Companies are available and vestors could provide the additional funds are subject to normal recruitment procedure. sfill required lo get Ihe mine and treatment •Transporlalion and stevedoring; Head Office in Brisbane. •ParticipaHof\ ir^ the Porgeta gold exploraUon paint into production and the American Smel­ How to Apply ting and Relining Company (now ASARCO joint venture in Papua New Guinea; Training MIM conducts campus inlormation ses­ Incorporated) came to the rescue. Produc­ •Exploring forgold.othermetals.coal and oit Training will primarily consist of prepared tion started in 1931. "on-the-job" training supplemented by per­ sions (Irom May to August ot each year) at andgas in Ausiralia,NewZealand and Papua which students are invited to lodge formal In 1970, M.I.M. Holdings Limited was lor­ New Guinea. sonal development training. Personal deve­ lopment training courses cover sucti subjects applications forgraduale employment. In ad­ med to take qyer from Mount Isa Mines Li­ •Investments in dition, MIM advertises in University newspa­ mited as parent company ol what was, by as accident prevention, industrial supervi­ — ASARCO Incorporated (32%), a diversified sion, human relations, conference leadership, pers and may also advertise in capital city then, an expanding group of companies with mining and processing company operating newspapers. interests additional to thsoe at Mount Isa, in first aid, decision and problem analysis, and in the USAand with interests in Canada, Peru business writing. Further, private part-lime To be considered (or the graduate intake, copper and lead refining, coal mining and and Mexico, and itself a 37% shareholder in transport and stevedoring. study is encouraged. At the end of a 12 to 18 applications should be forwarded by the end MIM; months training programme, graduates will ot July (see contact box for address). Short­ Today, MIM is a diversified mineral and — Cominco Ltd.a major Canadian based me­ transfer lo establish staff positions. listing and inten/iewing of applicants is con­ metal producing and marketing group, lis tals and lertiliser producer in which a holding ducted throughout Ihe period May to August principal activities are: companyowned25%by MIM has a 31% In­ Salaries and Allowances and oilers are usually made by mid-Septem­ •Mining of copper and silver-lead-zinc ores terest; Salaries are competitive with those paid in ber. All applicants will be informed ol the final and the production ol copper anode, crude — Norddeutsche Affinerie AG (35%), in West industry and will be discussed at a personal oulcome. MIM also has a graduate recruii- lead and zinc concentrate at Mount Isa, one Germany, a world-ranking producer of cop­ interview. ment booklet and a copy may be obtained of Ihe world's largest mining complexes; per, gold, special metals and chemicals; ' trom your Careers and Appointment Service. •Relining of Mount Isa copper al Townsville Approximate starting salaries are in the 10 produco high grade cathodes, shapes, rod — Teck Cororation (3.4%), with interests in range of S23,50Q to $27,000 according to precious and base metals, coal and oil and qualification and location. and wire; Contact: gas in Canada and the USA; and Recruitment Department •Refining of Mount Isa copper at Townsville — Evans Deakin Industries Limited (15%), a General Conditions of Employment are: M.I.M. Holdings Limited to produce high gradecathodes,shapes, rod Queensland-based heavy engineering com­ •Five weeks annual leave wilh an additional G.P.O. Box 1433 and wire; HOLOINCS pany. week's salary entitlement. Brisbane 0.4001 t'MlTED •Refining of lead and silver from Mount Isa •Two weeks cumulative sick leave each year. crude lead at Northfleet in the UK; •Recycling of scrap lead in the UK;

Lifetime Gle UNIVERSITY OF DISKETTES ANSI SPEC tOO% error Frea Pay by Phcnc QUEENSLAND B/card, Ivi/card or $7.49 V/card 5V4 0SDDPK10taxpad FABIAN SOCIETY DISK STORAGE CASES 5V4 X 100 $18.44, 3V2 x 50 $16.02 HIGH QUALITY, CLEAR PLASTIC "DOING IT LOCKABLELID 3V2 DSDD - $24.99 GRADUALLY" Plus postage and packaging

PHONE (07) 376 2955 Do you believe that reason, education, and ideas should play a large role in Australian politics? 26 BORON ST If so, why not join the Fabian Society. The energy SUMNER PARK, Fabians are a group dedicated to promote CONTROI: 4074 education and discussion on policies designed to further the goals of social democracy. The Fabian tradition is one of achieving social progress through research and education. George Bernard Shaw and Sydney Webb began the Society in 1883 and generations of Fabians have placed their stamp on every facet of British and Australian society. The Society will hold dinners, conferences and public forums with prominent guest speakers. Ifyou care about the quality of society we live in and social justice, or perhaps have an interest in politics, then we would like to hear from you. ALEX SCOTT Secretary Phone 371 5293 or 377 2542 z>*^.J57^-i^it^ t o"^ Top o Hdin a I 403 MILTON ROAD Shop AUCHENFLOWER 4066 The H)it Ccmre fa Qu«nsl>nd's Ufgc.M Apple IVjIcr WUh six bfinclwj uiduding out own campiu Mote al Quccnslind Univereky. Out P H : 8 7 0 18 5 2 coin pany huiheciduiive supply conuacu wilh all • — — univrfsilics in Quccnstind and many a

9.20 a.m. -2 p.m. Brunch Ut e Siudirni UnKxi Aindc 1 W'Ends 5.30 p.m. - 12 midnight every 870 8772 pgY'J'g night. L^i^i^mmmMM A wvnoK Of •m itctiNoux;«s CnD

10 SEMPER FLOREAT ]«AY 1988 THE GRADUATE TAX DEBATE

Semper will be examining many different points of view on the Free Education'' issue. Contributions on this issue are welcome.

I^Si^mnfi^arjf^fl^S^Sx^j

THE WRAN REPORT - a bitter pill! The Wran Committee Report on Higher think society should pay for the higher education it EQUITY needs in an open and honest fashion, through the Education Funding was commissioned Mr Dawkins has said over and over again that the by John Dawkins, the Federal Education tax system. Mr Dawkins however sees students as Wran Plan is equitable. Students will only pay when privileged over-users of public moneys (selfish lot) they are in the workforce and earning at least ave­ Minister, who says he wants to increase who should be required to pay back their 'debt'! the number of graduates from currently rage weekly wages. I can't agree with him. The tax will hit arts, social science, education, social work approximately 88,000 per year to 125,000 THE WRAN PLAN graduates and other students who remain wage ear­ in the year 2001. Mr Dawkins has also So what has Neville Wran proposed? The Wran ners more than others. Those students who gra­ said that he wants the number of stu­ Plan enshrines the principle of'user-pays' and at the duate into professions where they can control to a dents from socio-economically disadvan­ same time abolishes the Labor Party tenet of free large degree their incomes, and those who are able taged groups to increase and that women education. The scheme has said that students, once to get themselves up in business will either raise they are in the workforce and earning average week­ their fees to cover the graduate tax, or will find students, who are currently concentrated ly wages (currently approximately 121,300 per (legal) methods of avoiding the debt. Let me give in arts, teaching and caring profession year), must pay a 2% surtax until they have repaid you some examples: courses, should take up more places in 20% of the cost of their education. For an arts de­ • The medical and related professions will simply non-traditional disciplines. All very lau­ gree student the suggested cost is $1,500 for each raise their fees to match income lost - the burden dable goals I'm sure you'd all agree. year of full timestudy, i.e. $4,5 00 for the usual three will fall heaviest, as always, on the least affluent. year degree. Other courses are more expensive. At the top end medicine students will incur an $ 18,000 There are many ways for well advised people to WHITLAM tax debt for their six years of study. And of course, if ensure that their taxable income does not exceed average weekly earnings, unless they want it to: I suspect Mr Whitlam had the same, or at least you were thinking about doing a generalist degree, very similar goals in mind, when, in 1974, he abo­ followed by a professional degree and then some • Invest in a managed investment company where lished tertiary tuition fees. Whitlam recognised postgraduate training - shall we say B.Sc Hons plus the whole income is tax deductable; that Australia, not just individuals, benefits enor­ DipEd plus M.Ed Studies - then you could end up • Make contribuiioris to thefilm industry to receive a 120% mously from the higher education system and that with a tax bill of over $20,000! Of course, there is tax deduction; the best way to provide it was through general go­ sugar on the pill to make it more palatable: the • Arrange your salary package so that superannu­ vernment revenue this ensuring equality of oppor­ Higher Education Administration Charge ($263 fee ation contibutions from your employer (which are tunity for all. to you and me) will be abolished. not taxable income) are increased at the expense of This/j the best solution - unfortunately Mr Daw­ direct cash payments; kins can't see that at the moment, he doesn't appear REVENUE • Similarly, by receiving fringe benefits (company to understand that Australia will get no better edu­ Assuming the Federal Government collects all car, low interest loan, children's school fees), a sa­ cation than it is prepared to pay for. the revenue it's supposed to from the graduate tax lary package well in excess of $40,000 can be con­ Well now you know my position - I'm against Mr (and I'm sure it won't be able to) then an estimated verted into one providing a taxable income of less Wran's higher education contribution scheme, the $45 million will be raised in 1989, rising to $625 than $21,300 (average weekly earnings); graduate surtax. million in 2001. Against this one, must offset $55 • income received through investments in life in­ million in 1989 from the abolition of the HEAC surance, friendly society loans and undistributed USER-PAYS (rising to $77 million in 2001) and an estimated $ 15 company profits are also not measured in taxable One of the crucial questions is that of who "uses" million as an initial one - off establishment cost for income. (This is relevant because students from higher education? Students are participants in the army of public servants required to collect it. AU high income families are frequently members of higher education and therefore ata trivial level they this adds up to a funding shortfall of $25 million for income splitting arrangments for property income.) are the "users". But the true beneficiary is the pu­ • tertiary education in 1989 - not enough to keep the blic at large, everybody utilises the professional system at the same size as it presently stands, let expertise generated by our tertiary institutions, di­ alone thinking about providing more places for UNPLEASANT SIDE EFFECTS rectly and indirectly, continually and in ways too some of the 20,000 qualified school students and Of course there are other unpleasant side effects numerous to mention if not to conceive. If you mature-age persons who want to study but can't get ofthe Wran Plan. It is bound to deter some people believe this, as I do, then you can understand why I in. from taking up tertiary studies in the first place (the

SEMPER FLOREAT iVIAY 1988 11 government's own research has shown that the ticipation of women has increased from 37% to only allowed to look for new sources of funds for comparatively small $263 fee discouraged part- 50%. These changes may not be dramatic, but they higher education. The trouble is, he didn't even do time, women and external students) and it will are significant and moreover they did occur in a that thoroughly as the question of industry levies to make others choose degrees which are less expen­ period of economic recession. Instead of creating a fund higher education was put into the "too hard sive or which have higher incomes associated with new barrier to participation, the Federal Govern­ basket". No, Mr Wran decided to recommend a tax them, irrespective of whether theydo Australia any ment should restore higher education funding to which will bite hardest on students from low socio­ good whatsoever. The truth of the matter is that by 1% of GDP and maintain it at this level. It is a level economic backgrounds, one which will depress the and large those who generate wealth, whether in of spending well below that of our major trading demands for places in tertiary education. agriculture or industry, are scientists and engineers. partners, and less than is currently spent on foreign The merchant bankers and business people only aid, but it sufficient to fund all the expansion of Mr Dawkins, Mr Wran and 1 do agree on at lea.st manage the money, yet the graduate tax will exa­ tertiary education which Mr Dawkinssavs is so vital one thing however. We agree that if Australia is to cerbate a trend by students away from the primary to the nation's well being. survive in the world economy it needs to have a wealth generating sectors based upon scientific and Of course .Mr Dawkins is also overlooking the Letter-educated, more highly .skilled workforce and technological training because the courses are point about "free" tertiary education that Jor most that thi,s will co.st money. Hut if the country wants more expensive and do not have as high monetary students at least, it is very expensive indeed. The more graduates tiien ii needs to provide more, not rewards. You don'r sec many scientists driving 60% whogot no Government assistance fiiceannual less, economic encouragement to student.s to com­ around in Porsches do you? The graduate tax wiil costs, excluding living cxpen.se.s. that leave little plete a tertiary education. also do nothing to stem the brain drain. A com- change out of SI,000. This also forgos income in On both equity and efficiency ground.s, if Go­ binatiem of higher salaries, lower taxes and better choosing to study for a degree - probably in the vernment must raise more money for higher edu research facilities existing over.seas will continue to region of $60,000 for a three year degree. The gra­ cation itshouldbe through asurchargeonallhigher attract more and more of Australia's talented re­ duate tax is likely to prove for many to be the straw incomes through a progressive taxation .system ra­ searchers. which broke the camel's back. ther than by a learn now. pay later surtax on gra­ duates. It seems however that this is too bitter a pill FREE EDUCATION CONCLUDING REMARKS for Mr Dawkins to accept because it would involve Mr Dawkins has also repeated his view that "free" The terms of reference for the Wran Committee him changing his mind in public - something po­ tertiary education has done little to change the were too restricted. For example, the committee liticians never do. composition of Australian universities. I disagree. wasn't allowed to examine the social barriers to Since the abolition of fees in 1974 the children of people studying at tertiary level, nor was it allowed working class families represented in tertiary edu­ to evaluate the disincentives inherent in its own JON STUBBS cation has increased from 17% to 23%. The par­ recommendations. Unfortunatelv Mr Wran was Education Resource Officer WHY WE SUPPORT A GRADUATE LEVY By: Bevan Lisle, Robert Allen, Mike Kaiser, Michelle Healy and Craig Arnott WHAT IS THE WRAN REPORT? 1986. Increasing numbers of students will continue employment figures are a shocking reminder of the to place additional strains upon tertiary infrastruc­ inadequacies of our training and education pro­ The Committee on Higher Education Funding tures. grams. In the current climate of budgetary con­ was established by the Federal Government under straints, we have to seriously address the question the Chairmanship of Mr Neville Wran. Its brief was Enrolments at Universities and Colleges have risen by over 100,000 in the last decade but Federal of where the money needed to finance the upgra­ to develop options for supplementing the funding ding of higher education will come from. of higher education whilst having regard for the funding has not been able to keep pace. The reason? "social and educational consequences ofthe sche­ State Governments no longer contribute in any mes under examination". A major goal of the dis­ meaningful way to higher education. The States THE REAL ISSUES cussion paper was to promote growth in the system have dropped out ofthe funding stakes and left the To date, the so-called "Free Education" cam­ and improve access to higher education for those Federal Government to pick up the bill, paign has been tainted by hypocrisy, selfishness and groups currently under-represented. The Commit­ a lack of foresight. This may be a strong statement, tee's central question was how future eixpansion of WHY AUSTRALIA'S TERTIARY but we believe it's true. The fact is that there is no the higher education sector should be financed. INSTITUTIONS DESERVE EXTRA such thing as a Free Education: There never has The Committee's one hundred page Report was FUNDING been and there never will be because somebody has to handed down recently. Our higher education system is one of the eco­ pay for it. Until how, that "somebody" has been the nomic fundamentals not yet adequately geared to average Australian worker. WHAT THE PLAN MEANS national objectives or international competitive­ The real issue is Access and the Wran Report seeks Under the Wran Report suggestions: ness. In comparison with other OECD. Youth un­ to address this issue. (i) All graduates earning greater than the average annual wage (currently $21,500p.a.) would directly contribute 20% of the cost oftheir education into a higher education fund. (ii) Thisspecial fund would notbe used to substitute Federal Education funding, but to: a) provide additional higher education places, and b) provide increased student financial assistance, (iii) The higher education administration charge (currently $263) would be abolished. WHY HIGHER EDUCATION REQUIRED ADDITIONAL FUNDING Our tertiary system is bursting at the seams and continues to face mounting pressures, (i) Almost 20,000 students are turned away annually because there are simply not enough places. Place creation is currently some 8,000 places behind po­ pulation growth expectations for the next three years. The Federal Government wants to increase the number of graduates from tertiary institutions from the present level of 88,000 to 125,000 by the year 2001. This plan will require a large investment of capital over the next few years. (ii) At the same time, retention rates at grades 11 and 12 are accelerating. The grade 12 retention rate when the Federal Government was elected in 1983 was just 36%. By last year, the retention rate was over 50% and it is expected to reach 66% by 1992. (iii) Only around 40% of full-time students receive government financial assistance, compared with 70% a decade ago. The Wran Report recommends that the level of support be widened to include at least 50% of full-time students,and that AUSTUDY be aligned with unemployment benefits for those over 21. (iv) Spending on buildingsand renovation has fallen from around $400 million in 1975 to $73 miUion in

12 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 It seeks to dismantel all point-of-entry barriers, a Liberal Government would be point-of-entry full Family Allowance supplements cut out (approx. by abolishing the administratiori charge. fees. One gets the feeling however, that nothing $32,000 and by tying the levy more closely to actual It guarantees a pool of funds to create further would please many 'professional' demonstrators income. places and grant access to many who currently miss more than being given the opportunity to rage ad A graduate levy on actual income is the fairest out. And it seeks to offer increased financial assis­ infinitum against any government. way to ensure extra funding for higher education. It tance to needy students. Comprehensive programs to improve access and means that a Doctor who chooses to work in an participation in higher education will be expensive. Aboriginal community is not penalised for the lo­ WHY THE GRADUATE TAX IS A FAIR The real challenge for the student movement is to wer income service he/she undertakes. It means OPTION come up with the fairest system of funding those that lawyers would pay in accordance with their extra costs. high income earning occupations. It means that Whilst higher education certainly provides a women will not be discriminated against on the great deal of benefits to- the general community, basis oftheir lower income and participation in the graduates themselves are the direct financial bene­ ANOMALIES & DISPARITIES work force. ficiaries. A tertiary education places graduates in There are some anomalies and disparities in the the top 22% ofall income earners. Plan which we believe must be addressed. Such a system has the advantage of recouping greater revenue over the long term. It would in fact • Graduates have higher starting salaries, on ave­ The two major anomalies with respect to the be asking for contribution from graduates as they rage, than those without post-school qualifications; Wran Plan are: move to their optimal income. their salaries increase at a faster rate; and they con­ • The non-exemption of Family Allowance Sup­ We recognise however that such a system would tinue increasing until much later in life. plement Recipients. delay revenue collection for higher education, but • Figures show, for example, that an Australian • Disparities between course costs and actual gra­ this can be met in two ways: Firstly, through op­ born male who leaves school at 18 without tertiary duate income. tional lump sum payments. Secondly, through the qualifications is earning his best wages by age 35, We suggest these disparities could be overcome introduction ofan industry levy; revenue could be whilst the earnings ofan Australian born male with by placing the income threshold above the level of gained immediately. a Bachelor degree do not peak until he is 55. • Between 1980 and 1987, graduate employment grew at an annual rate of 7%, whilst school leavers lost ground. ANSWER ALL FOUR EVIL • Proportionally fewer graduates than non-gradu­ ates are unemployed and periods of graduate un­ QUESTIONS CORRECTLY employment - when they do occur - are much shor­ ter. Statistics such as these underscore the conside­ ANDWINAFREETRIPTO rable financial advantages that tertiary education can bring to an individual. It is only fair, therefore, PARAGUAY. that the individual repay some of the cost of their education. The Wran Report suggests 20% as a 1) ADOLF HITLER 2) JOHN BROWN AND JAN reasonable percentage. The proposal only asks stu­ THE MOST EVIL MAN THAT MURRAY dents to contribute when they have the ability to EVER LIVED. HE WAS THEYCREATEDTABLOID pay - i.e. when they are in the workforcerfwc/earning RESPONSIBLE FORTHE HISTORY WHEN THEY above the average wage. DEATHS OF MILLIONS OF ADMITTED TO PORKING PEOPLE. EACH OTHER ON JOHN'S OPPOSITION TO THE PROPOSAL MINISTERIAL DESK. Up until now, attacks upon the graduate tax QUESTION: WHATWAS HIS proposal have been largely based upon ignorance or FAVOURITE BREAKFAST QUESTION: WHO CARES? fear. Many of those who are opposed to the intro­ CEREAL? duction of tertiary fees have merely 'rehashed' their arguments without taking into account the very real differences between the two proposals. They have not addressed the facts that; (i) point-of-entry financial barriers are being dis­ mantled, not erected; (ii) paymentof a tax wouldbe madeafter graduation when a 'capacity to pay' was demonstrated; (iii) Students were expected to meet onh partial payment (20%) of their tuition cost, not 100% of costs (as under 'full fees'). iMany opponents of the Wran Report have not even bothered to read the recommendations, or have engaged in selective reading at best. STUDENT POLITICIANS Many student leaders actually support the Wran Report but feel restricted by prior policy decisions. Other student leaders attack the recommendations out of sheer political expediency. If students con­ tinue to attack the Wran Report with irrelevant and antiquated arguments, they will be condemned as .selfish and hypocritical, and righdy so. When the Whitlam Government abolished ter­ tiary fees in 1974, the vision was to open up higher 3) THE AIDS PLAGUE education to Australians from all walks of life. THE GRIM REAPER STANDS The abolition of point-of-entry financial barriers POISED TO KILL MORE however, was just the cornerstone of that vision. AUSTRALIANS THAN WORLD It is the responsibility of the Labor government WARTWO. to consider all the factors which affect access to higher education. QUESTION: WHAT IS HIS BOWLING AVERAGE? Other than the number of places and student financial assistance, such factors may include: (a) The public and private domains of secondary schools (b) The degree of socitd dislocation that entry to higher education may cause for non-inner city high school students. (c) The lack of an education ethos among lower socio 4) AS YOU R EAD TH IS economic groups. ARTICLE MILLIONS OF Student leaders who threaten an "electoral back­ PEOPLE ARE STARVING IN lash" against the Federal Government on this pro­ AFRICA, INDIA AND posal are fooling themselves on two counts. Firstly, TASMANIA the confrontationist and provocative campaign against the Report witnessed to date has merely QUESTION: NAMETHEMI resulted in alienating the public they sought to get on side. The rowdy and often violent demonstra­ tions has merely reinforced a perception that pro­ testing students are an elite minority seeking to protect their privileged position. Secondly, they fool themselves if they think that voting the La­ bor Government out of office is the answer. There is little doubt that thealterna tive for students under

SEMPER FLOREAT iVlAY 1988 13 UNI BALLS Champagne socialite, Helen Wilson- King, takes a look at University Balls and wrote this disturbing report...

THE BALL LINGO GUIDE BALL FOOD: Designed to stick to dinner SORDID jackets. BALL GOWN: A decadent joke. BALL SLUDGE: A special blend ol stale beer, mud, dinner and sweat. Usually one to two inches deep everywhere. BALL SUIT: Cheap, flared and indestructable. TRUTH BAR STAFF: Thank God for Penally Rates. "BLIND": Describes the phenomenon Pick tiie odd one out. where victims only see the consequences of balls, mini-ball, inter-faculty balls, at-home balls a rendezvous with a Rl D team after the Gala, function, formal university ball, dignified (in-vince-i-balls, carbolic smoke balls) and just your event. occasion, dinner engagement. average degenerative ball. Each year balls are dub­ BOUNCERS: The ones with their knuckles It must be obvious. University balls are too odd bed with dubious titles or simply proclaimed *A dragging in the ball sludge. to miss. Where else can you go out dressed to per­ Ball'. Anyway the name has little to do with pheno­ mena as the activity stays basically the same. CHAP'S PHOTO: Inebriated twits staring at fection and stumble home, ragged, torn and then a fixed point in the distance. Latter-day try to identify your reflection in the mirror. One arrives at the Bail with a carefully selected Heidrichs. partner, one quickly drinks ones way into paralysis, On what other occasion do you negotiate with CONDOM: Make it spermicidal or don'l the suit hire shops, arguing the hole was definitely then one exchanges partners with anothers or put­ there before the Ball. ting it blundy, one 'wins-on' to someone other than bother. The 'morning after' you wonder why you bo­ one's partner. CRASHERS: Braver than alby mangels. thered giving her a corsage and if you needed to Which begs the question - why the hell take a "CRASHING": What many do to other Balls spend $50 on your hair to impress him. And also, partner in the first place? It is now quite common to and then complain about it at their own. depending on where you are and with whom, you participate in Balls as a 'single' rather than a 'dou­ CRAP MUSIC: Guaranteed assess the relative "success" of your evening. ble'. But you still have these quaint-minded people DROWNING: Swimming in the lakes after a Queensland University has college balls, faculty who cling to tradition and have a ball partner. In ball. some colleges it is a necessity because it gives you GARDEN HOSE: Ball suit cleaner something to talk about. "Guess who he is taking?" GOON: Elixir of life (budget vintage) "I don't know, but I'll tell you who I am taking if you tell me your partner first." And so goes the "HAVING A BALL": Consuming copious vicious trivial circle. amounts of alcohol, dancing heaps and Well it has been established there is no motive throwing up face down in a garden bed. for selecting ball partners but there must be a cri­ HIGH HEELS: Don't, Wear gum boots. teria. Forexample, the essential requirement thata "I'M SOOO PIST": The trademark of the male partner must be at least your height, taking one Westcoasl wonder. into account the high heels of course. Also you KOREAN RAY-BANS: Essential for the must be sure that he will present you with an en­ classic mealhead image. viable corsage, consider hiring a limousine (you'll "MAGGOTTED": Anyone using this understand if he can't scrape the $ 300 together) and expression is undoubtably severely definitely be on time. decayed. You have already observed him at other func­ MORT: A French expression referring to tions and know he can act reasonably well when those who try to drive home after Uni Balls. drunk. A potential embarassment does not cons­ MUTE: Sufferers are definitely not children titute a good ball partner. of a lesser God. And who do the guys go on? Looks, legs and PINK BOW TIE: '! know I can't win on so body. Classically blonde, typically leggy, and body- what Ihe hell". wise, hopefully Elle McPherson. Bitter disappoint­ ment, realitj' strikes and the boys appreciate the SLEEP: Wouldn't you rather? average girl may fail in more than one category. So STIMULATING CONVERSATION: Huh? the scout has to be content with an ordinary person SUCKERS: Ball Photographers. who he continually describes to his 'mates', as "a WINNING ON: Self-explanatory but ranging really nice girl". in intensity from "minor but on mass" to the Outsiders may claim criteria is hypocritical and "all from one and one for all" experience. superficial - a very intellectual and astute judge­ Often achieved in garden beds, cars, dark ment. But do they have fun at balls? corners, light corners and college rooms.

14 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 In Search Of... THE AFTERMATH OF KYLIE MINOGUE - Kylie Minogue Clones on Campus LEONARD NIMOY

Every lunch hour, in their thousands, Kylie Mino­ gue clones have been secretly meeting in the Un­ dergraduate Library. They have been plotting to take over the world piece by piece, if only they could be so lucky. People have been disappearing from Campus and, prior to previous beliefs that this had occurred due to the cannabilistic attitudes of science stu­ dents, it has now been found that these poor, un- fbrtunate students have met a far worse fate. Surprised and attacked by avid fanatics of this bizarre Minogue craze, the victims are surrounded by up to twenty Kylie Minogue clones. These clones then begin to chant the theme song from "Neigh­ bours", leaving the victims totally mindless and glassy eyed. Several of the missing persons have been found disguised as fence posts, wandering through the Great Court, pretending to be loco­ motives. We sent our insipid investigative reporters, Bony and Doiley (the Unprofessionals) in to find out the story behind these strange events. Joining our dy­ namic duo on the 4th floor of the Undergrads we find that they have cornered a Kylie Minogue look alike and are proceding to peacefully question it. BONY (Bash, hit, punch): Are you a Kylie Minogue Clone? KYLIE MINOGUE CLONE: Yes DOILEY (Kick, rabbit punch, headbutt): Are you a Kylie Minogue Clone? KMC (Cries of pain): Yes, I'm so lucky. Lucky, lucky, lucky. BONY: How did you become a Kylie Minogue Clone? KMC: My friends, Kylie, Kylie and Rick Astley told .me that I should be so lucky as to come to a meeting with some friends of theirs. I was anxious at first, but I could not resist the strange impulse to attend. Rick told me to come, just for the first time. DOILEY (Thump, Slog, total mutilation): So you went? KMC: Yes, I went. They led me to a cubicle in the Undergrad where there were forty Kylie Minogue Qones gathered in a circle. At first I could hear a soft chanting, like a low commotion. One of them asked me to come on, come on and join the low commotion with me. I went to the centre of the cubicle and they started chanting "Neighbours" and I began metamorphosing into a Kylie Minogue Clone. Originally I was a brunette. DOILEY (Bash, Punch, Thump): So you went? way down the stairs. Theywere lucky toescape with BONEY (Hit, Slap, Kick, Shove): You've already their lives, and just managed to hand us this article asked that, you jerk. from their hospital bed. They seem to be suffering DOILEY (Thump, Slog, More total mutilation): from delirium and severe peroxide poisoning. Of­ What is in the cult for you? ten they fall into trances and recite "lucky, lucky, KMC: I felt so lucky ... lucky, lucky, lucky. It gave lucky" for around ten minutes at a time. pie a sense of companionship and well being. For The spokesperson from the Whitehouse was un­ the first time I felt I really belonged. Whenever I available for comment. Several terrorist organisa­ need somebody, they're always there for me, ooh, tions (Ronald Mcl've-Forgotten-Everything's Ter­ ooh, ooh. rorist Burgers, ASIO, Lancaster Women's Country Association, Toowong Kindergarten) have claimed BONEY: Doiley, where did you get your driver's responsibility. Ucense? Join us next week when we examine, in very little DOILEY: It's really easy. I just got ten rubber fi­ depth but with an awful lot of sensationalism, a gurines of Alan Bond found in every packet of bizarre freak of evolution. An entire tribe of Kylie Kellogue's Bondflakes, and a deflated airship plus Minogues in the Papau New Guinea Highlands, $20,000 postage and handling, and put them in a previously unexposed to television. brown paper bag underneath a seat at the bus stop. This report is based entirely on fiction, and delusion, and a late night. Any BONEY: Hmm, thought so. (Resumes hitting Ky­ resemblance to persons, real, Uving, lie Minogue Clone.) Is it ture that you're amal­ dead or ficticious, is a really gamating with the Rick Astley Fan Club? amazing coincidence! KMC: Oh yes, we're so lucky, in fact they're right (I should be so lucky!) here now... All respects to Kylie Minogue and At this stage they turned around and saw six Rick Rick Astley who put in a lot of effort so Astley clones, who kindly showed them the quick that you could read this article.

SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 15 The Sandshoe By Jim O^Brien

The sandshoe - sometimes called sneakers, jumpers, runners and "getthosesmelly- a resurgence, mosdy by those trendy bastards who thingsoutofherethisinstant" has had a noble part to play in the history of hu­ do law and government and can afford them. Usu­ mankind. From the half-sucked-siberian sandshoe of the early Silurian tundra to ally theseprissy gits can be found downat the tennis the new hightech-highpriced-O-I-look-so-cool spring loaded shock absorbers of courts, spinning racquets and tripping over nets, today. The sandshoe has played an integral role in the development ofthis worlds espousing platitudes such as, societies and its basketball teams. "I say anyone for tennis", which is a pretty stupid thing to say in the middle of a tennis game, any­ Its form and structure, social physiognomy, gracile lines, the lilt it gives to the way! joggers springing step and its stench form the basis of this essay. Emriks are your pseudo socialites cut price K- Mart klobber. I will begin with a series of formal definitions and "Shit!... I've just invented Sandshoes!" aphorisms, so as to set the pace. Nikes are a firm favourite amongst the Human So taken was he with this act of serendipity that Movements students, to such an extent that they CONSISE OXFORD DICTIONARY: The shoe he immediately patented the idea and joined the can often be seen walking around staring at their (especially of canvas with rubber or hempsole for Brisbane Bullets (that isn't really Leaping Leroy out feet saying things like, use on sand). there). SIGMUND FREUD: A phallic symbol (and a lot The fad for rubber incased feet soon spread "I've got Nikes", as they ram head first into ob­ of fun ifyou are malformed). through out the world, altering the course of con­ jects with higher I.Q.'s then their own like street- ELECTRICAL: Ideal for preventing electrocu­ temporary international affairs. lamps, art students and other well known traffic tion during lighting strikes on a golf course (pro­ The Crimean War of 1854-56 was in actuallity hazards. vided some other poor bastard is wearing them and fought over the Turkish claim that Addidas shoe­ Esprits (especially with spikes) without doubt your at home in bed with Jackie Collins), laces were superior to the English Reeboks. belong to Social Work students as in no other pro­ QUOTE FROM A SPORTS MEDICINE DOC­ The 1917 Russian Revolution broke out because fession is the need to run very fast, very quickly so TOR: "Ultimately we hope to genetically cross an of an attempt by the Tsar to prevent the use of very impoitant. Olympic athlete with a set of Bridgestone steel bel­ odour eaters. Pumas were specially designed with engineering ted radials that thrive on steroids and jump, hop, William Wordsworth once penned the famous students in mind. They are impregnated with a spe­ skip, bounce and run at a lOOkm per hour." i "Ode to a Sandshoe": cial beer mould so resiliant that even an engineers foot will kill it off yet actually keep the Pumas clean REALITY: Has a pong that would kill an ele­ I think I will never see despite the constant beer soakings (by the way an phant stone dead at 400 metres. A sandshoe as lovely as thee engineers foot is equalent to a tactical nuclear Your spring, your bounce, your ricochet The sandshoe as a functional structure was ori­ strike). ginally invented in 18 32 by Colonel Pe te r John (he's your vibrant pulsating flatulous Sandshoes according to a well informed source got a big nose) Bly th of Her Majesty's Most Royal gives a whole new meaning with great legs, have a life in their own rights, as can Cowards, when during a tour of duty in Fiji, he came to Coitus Interrupticus be readily proved by any one foolish enough to visit face to face with a rnan-eating hairy orangutang The classic sandshoe is the Dunlop "Volley", R-floor of Union College after midnight. The re­ called Lachlan. He thrice climbed the nearest rub­ absolutely riddled with holes and sprouting toes, sidents, wisely enough, leave their sneakers outside ber tree and remained there for seven days, during which when they are wet as on rainy days, squeak­ their doors and at about ten minutes past twelve the which time the trees latex solidified over the Co­ like you wouldn't believe, especially on the lino in damm things become bionic, you reckon those crea­ lonels shoes. On theseventh day as he jumped down some ofthe libraries (it's so bad that librarians have tures out ofthe movie Aliens were bad, wait till you to the forest floor, he found himself catapulted been known to take meat axes to some of the cul­ have to fight off something that's been stewing in back up into the arboreal foliage. This event so prits). Volleys are worn by students from most of somebodys sweat for the last four years. surprised the'Colonel that he immediately ejacu­ the faculties, except on rainy days, lated, Reeboks have as of late undergone something of Se non e vera, e ben trovato.

16 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 Not the Union News UNIVERSITY and not listen to the other speakers. Many students felt they had been railroaded into marching - they CHALLENGE PRESIDENT'S didn't want to 'split' the meeting in two. Anyway we marched through the Mall down Queen Street admiring the perplexed expressions REPORT of citizens faces. When we got to the Common­ wealth Education Building, we were met by a wall of police. Fine. But the meeting really got hijacked when speaker after speaker from the International Socialists and SWP etc got up and advocated stor­ ming the building. One diehard even said (with a "Tim and Debbie" accent) - "Let's ail get arrested to show solidarity with those already in the paddy wagon." Great stuff. It looked great on TV that evening. Some con­ servative students I know commented that it ap­ peared like a bunch of selfish, lazy ratbags with nothing better to do than hold up city traffic and WHAT IS IT A game show run by Ihe ABC lor Universities Queslions who refuse to pay a measley 2% tax to cover 20% of relate lo Iho Arts, History, Politics and Naiural Science. their course cost. I argued against this view because These can range from Beeihoven, Bentham and the Beatles I know that apart from the hijackers this was not the lo Abraham Lmco'n, the Taj Mahal and Easter Island. case. Yet images are very powerful and if the public think that students ought to pay then we can expect WHAT HAPPENS a graduate tax for next year. This University will have its own [rials, by a series ol playoffs then have a grand final in front ol a couple ol big V(igs from FREE In other words if it is politically popular to intro­ (he ABC. duce this scheme - we're lost. Our job is to make it EDUCATION politically unpopular so an Electorally vulnerable Fe­ WHY ENTER deral Government backs off. Threatening to storm The winning team are in line for a (roe trip (accommodation included) to Tasmania tor Ihe taping ot tne series Also they buildings and serve demands on bewildered go­ -wilt receive itee sweatsiitrts (torn .''4iciers Clolhing Stoie. CAMPAIGN vernment secretaries does our cause no good at passes to the Schonell and free iunch lof a week at the all. fofeclories. Ifyou didn't know there was a stop work meeting in town with other campuses on May 5 th then you HOWTO ENTER must have been blind - posters sent to us by NUS Get together a team of four and register at the Aclivities (National Union of Students) and our very own OTHER ISSUES Of'ice by ringina 371 1611 or coming down. Registrations crose by the 4th of July. 1988. were plastered all over the campus along with the On Senate (Monday May 9th) the issue of the leaflets explaining it all. Anj^A-ay six bu.ses were racist graffiti and racist content in various student filled with eager "rallyers" and we headed to Roma WHEN pubUcations around campus was raised. Senate ex­ The play-offs will be on Ihe 11 th and 12!h of July and Ihe Street Forum. Once there, interesting and infor­ pressed concern at this and said the following: iina; on the 13!h of JL.'ly. Filming in Hobart is Irom the 2Blh mative speeches were heard from QUS (Queens­ Relationships in the University mt/sf be based on prin­ o( August till the 3rd ol September. land Union of Students - State Branch of the ciples of equality, open access and tolerance. The "Uni­ National Union of Siudents) representatives and versity Act" requires that the University should not dis­ other Campus Leaders. Things were going well. criminate against any person on the grounds of that per­ Then a Socialist Workers Part\' Faction Leader, son's se.x, religion or colour. Any such incident is inap­ Karen Fletcher, spoke on "Women and the Gra­ propriate in a university and it is important to deal with WOMEN'S duate Tax". Halfway through her speech she urged the issue before it becomes a serious problem. SELFDEFENCE the 700 strong crowd to march through the streets At Union Council the next night it was decided to of Brisbane (where to, nobody knew). Half the establish an Aboriginal and Islanders Student Com­ COURSE crowd - mostly International Sociahsts, Socialist mittee (just like the Postgrads Committee and the Action Resistance comrades and their fellow tra­ Overseas Students Committee and the Colleges vellers supported her and began chanting some Committee and so on) for the campus' Murri stu­ This course has been specifically deve­ messages about the Revolution of 1917 in order to dents. They are to submit a budget to the next loped over a 15 year period by and for women, Techniques developed in the drown out NUS President, Tracey Ellery. Council. Hopefully the combined efforts ofall en­ course will enable vyomen lo deal with a Tracey correctly pointed out that it was illegal to lightened sensitive people can help to change those wide range o( situations. The ability to march without a permit (and that this was an absurd who hold racist views at the place of "Light, Liberty gain positive control and self-confidence yet sad and patently cold reality) and that arrests and Learning". are just some of the advantages of this course. were likely. Clearly nobody wanted that. In the end after discussions many students decided to march DIRK MOSES DATE: 4lh-5th June, 1988 TIME: 12 noon-4 p.m.each day VENUE: Activities (past bike shop! LIMIT: 18 WOMEN'S RIGHTS REPORT COST: $15 Greetings! We are holding the NOWSA (Network of Wo­ TUTOR: Donna Shaw Women, please take advantage of our free Union men Students in Australia) Conference here on REGISTRATION Activities 0.^ Women's Security' Bus. It will take you anywhere on campus campus over the weekend of 15,16 & 17 July. Hun­ Rights. Ph 371 1611 DEADLINE; 3rd June, 1988 that you want to go! The Security bus runs all se­ dreds of women from around Australia will be com­ mester, swat vac, exam weeks one and two. mid ing along to this weekend of learning, tilking, wor­ WOMEN ONLY semester one (but not mid semester two). king and fun! There will be speakers and workshops CHILD CARE PROVIDED on: the effect of graduate tax and the Green Paper Scheduled bus-stops - half-hourly Monday to on women students; Aboriginal Women's Issues, Thursday: Overseas Women's Issues, Childcare, Women net- 1. Main Library: 6.06-10.36 p.m., late pick up wop tking on a national level, the survival of campus 10.55 p.m. women's positions/rooms; and art/theatre/film/ 2. Women's College: 6.10-10.40 p.m. media; women's sport; mature aged women etc etc!! 3. Duchesne College: 6.11-10.41 p.m. For more information come to NOWSA meetings 4. Architecture/Music: 6.13-10.43 p.m. every Monday evening at 6.30 p.m. in the Women's Rights Room. If you are interested in billetting 5. Biological Sciences Roundabout: 6.16- please phone Women's Rights. 10.46 p.m. 6. Grace College: 6.18-10.48 p.m. To Emanuel.Kings,etc x'i (it required)^ '^y women's College Duchesne Cotlege To raise money for NOWSA there will be a Wo­ men's Cabaret (Childcare provided) at the QIT cam­ pus club on 27th May.

t Due to funding cuts to Women's Rights and the To Dutton ,7 Union Resource Centre there will be a lamington Park Ferry •"/ drive! Watdi outfor it! There is also talk of rafflinga (ll required)'A^ hamper! In the meantime donations for the re­ source centre for journals and books are wanted... please! Remember, Women's Rights Meetings are on Tuesday at 1 p.m. in the Women's Rights Room. ToWesl End Ferry, Bring your lunch and meet some great people! elc. (ll required) STELLA GOODELLIS WOMEN'S RIGHTS VICE PRESIDENT

SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 17 Not the Union News EDUCATION OFFICE NEWS free tertiary education in Australia. In Brisbane ap­ land ALP. At the the 3 3rd State Conference over the AT A GLANCE proximately 1,200 students rallied at the Roma weekend 8-9 May the conference overwhelmingly The main recommendations of the Wran Com­ Street Forum before marching to the Federal Edu­ supported a motion that the Federal Government mittee Report are that: cation Building in Eagle Street. A list of demands should reject Neville Wran's recommendations. /. The Government establish a higher education contribu­ was presented to Reg King, the State Director of The conference delegates agreed that a tuition tax tion scheme to raise contributions towards the cost of pro­ the Federal education Office demanding the abo­ would do little to open up tertiary education to viding higher education from the individuals who use and lition ofthe H.E.A.C. (the $263 Fee) and the Over­ poorer students in the community. The State ALP benefit from the system. seas Visa Charge; no tertiary fees or graduate tax; education spokesperson, David Hamill, said the 2. The contributions hy individual beneficiaries of higher no privatisation of higher education in any form; an conference re-affirmed the party policy of free edu­ education average about 20 percent of course costs and beexpansio n of AUSTUDY; and the resignation of cation. Consequently the Queensland ALP is also varied broadly according to differentials in the cost of course John Dawkins if he is unable to meet these most opposed to the $263 administration fee, particu­ provision. A suggested schedule of contributions is: °$3,000 reasonable demands. larly as it gives no concession to part-time and ex­ per year for full-time students in medicine, dentistry, agri­ The education unions have also condemned as ternal students. culture, forestry and veterinary science: "$2,500 per year "anti-Labor" the Wran plan to tax incomes of stu­ The ALP is facing a bitter row over the issue of for full-time students in engineering, surveying, science, dents. The unions have vowed to fight the plan free tertiary education as members ofboth the Left applied science and health sciences (except nursing) °$1,500 through the electorate and at the national confe­ and Centre-Left factions are expected to openly per year for full-time students in all other courses. rence of the Labor Party in June. Grahame Mc­ oppose the proposals contained in the Wran report. .3. The contribtitions apply for eachyear of study and to part- CuUoch, the general .secretary ofthe Federation of Left wing senator John Deverux, chairperson ofthe time sttulents on a pro-rata basis. Students in approved brid­College Academics, has hinted that the unions Caucus Employment, Education and Training Q^m- ging courses be exempt from the contribution. could thwart other Government plans to restruc­ mittee, said a graduate tax was discriminatory: "The 4. The higher education contribution scheme should involve: ture higher education saying it would be "difficult tax would hit people at a time when many of them ''A tax debit for students equal to the amount of the con­ to maintain a co-operative approach in the face ofa are starting families and face the greatest costs du­ tribution they incur (as described in recommendation 2 & 3) graduate tax." ring their working lives." "Payment through tax system at the rate of 2percent if, and The tuition tax proposed by Wran and endorsed only if, the person's taxable income reaches a threshold set atb y Bob Hawke, has been rejected by the Queens­ JON STUBBS f21.500 (in June 1988 dollars). 5. Anyone who chooses to pay all or part oftheir tax debit iticurred under the higher education contribution scheme up front or ahead of time beable to do so. AWARD FOR 6. The higher education contribution scheme cover new and existing students from January 1 1989- Existing students would only inctir a tax debit determined by the cost of course provision and the number of full-time equivalent years spent studying from 1989. 7. The Higher Education Administration Charge be abo­ IN TEACHING lished at the same time the higher education contribution scheme is implemented. FIGHTING FOR FREE EDUCATION Even before the ink has dried on the 100 page Wran Committee Report on Higher Education Funding, delivered to Minister Dawkins on Thursday May 5, a wall of opposition from students, the ALP caucus, the business community and the trade union movement was built to fight this latest challenge to

GLOC t^OrMN^TE AN 0«^TSTAHP\NC» TEACHER GLOC is Gays and Lesbians Have you been inspired recently by a of the student body, will be looking for On Campus University teacher? You have - then someone who can demonstrate a why not nominate then for a $1,500 command of their subject, someone GLOC is a support group for reward? who has the ability to organise course people coming to terms with their Yes it's true, there are University of material and present it cogently, who sexuality. Queensland lecturers whose teaching displays enthusiasm and vitality and is is inspirational, lecturers who actually able to arouse curiosity in the be­ GLOC is a social group for people care whether we understand the ina- ginning student and to stimulate ad­ who wish to relax in the company terial being delivered, people who try vanced work. of other gay men and women. to make even the most routine and It may sound a tall order but if you GLOC is an active group for people monotonous lecture interesting. All knowof a lecturer atthis university you have to do Is Identify them who matches up to these criteria who are sick of living in an ignorant before MONDAY MAY 30, 1988 If why not nominate them for an and prejudiced society. they are to be considered for the award. Award of Excellence in Teaching GLOC FULL DETAILS, rNCLUDING AWARD this year. NOMINATION FORMS, ARE AVAI­ Meetings every Thursday at 1 p.m. In judging excellence the award com­ LABLE FROM THE UNION OFFICE Clubs' Room, Union Building mittee, which includes representatives ANDTHE EDUCATION OFFICE.

Postgraduate students are wanted to could gain valuable work and perso­ participate in discussion groups at nal experience from them. Volunteers Wacol Prison. The role of the discus­ are required for two hours per week sion groups is to provide stimulation for a maximum of 12 weeks. Please for prisoners currently undertaking contact Libby Connors, History De­ secondary and tertiary studies. The partment, extension 2400. groups were formerly organised by Dr Arlene Morgan ofthe Psychology De­ partment, now retired, but postgra­ Contact: Ubby Connors, TA, History De­ duate students from psychology, so­ partment, extension 2400 or 846 2409 cial work, sociology and other fields (h).

18 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 Not the Union News THE COACHING SERVICE This is well underwav. I've had forms in from all faculties for tutoring in CO 14]. EC) 1Q, FRENCH, MATHS I. .\iATHS Ii. CHEMISTRY, PHYSICS. CSIOO, 102. : 12, j ; -,, 20(1. {:32(Ki. M¥.]')' 10!, 102. 103. 200, 201. 202. ACCOVS'TIKG. GER M,A\ H\GLISH. Ci-OGRAPHV. I he r('NT'if)n.s( n;i'. ^u.-fjr. jiood So keen 'hriM ^tp pht:niori>- comini; •.:•• • contacl r.'ie I'nidn (Jffict. SHCKET'-KY. KOKVN I'lSKiiS. 37! !M l, GRADUATE RECRUITMENT You mav or may not know, but ali the- lar;;c firrn.N such as .V.i..M., A.N'.Z., .X.C.R. etc, etc, are comin^ out to L'niversity at this time of year on their gra duate recruitment drives. It's really important to check at Careers and Counselling Services in the Relaxation Block near the Abel Smith every day to see what companies are coming out, JM-SO, they give terrific help with resumes and coverinjj letters etc, etc. So ifyou need a hand to t'e; a job, gu see them. AUSTUDY & THE WRAN COMMITTEE You might have heard that with the advent of graduate tax, that AUSTUDY will be increased to the level of unemployment benefits. For a copy of the Wran Committee Report ofthe Committee on Higher Education Funding, one will be kept at the R^TARY'S Office desk. ALso, in second semester, there will be a cam­ paign from the Welfare Committee to highlight the REPORT inadequacies of the AUSTUDY payment (e.g. can Hi again I'll try not to bore vou again this only earn $40 a week, etc, etc), time. Le. NO UNION POLITICS. THE STUDENTS LEGAL SERVICE NEEDS VOLUNTEERS! FISHERMAN'S WHARF BIRDMAN UNION LOGO COMPETITION Do you need some work experience? Then COMPETITION WIN!!! WIN!!! WIN!!! please volunteer for our Legal Service which gives Fisherman's Wharf are holding a Birdman of the free legal aid to students. Come up and see our Broadwater Competition on 9th July 1988 the first There is a Union Logo Competition to design a Solicitors, Di Soon and Annabel Reader and they'll distinctive logo for use on letterheads, propaganda, prize is $ 10,000 and you have to leap off a 6.2 metre be able to give you something to do which gives you ramp and travel fifty metres (or awarded to the signs etc. etc. good practical experience in a general legal envi­ There IS EVEN A PRIZE!!! longest jump - so far 22 metres). Closing date for ronment. entries is Saturday, 25 th June and the rules etc are The prize is five free double passes to the Scho­ up here in my office, nell Cinema to use anytime you like. The compe­ COLLEGES FUNCTIONS tition closes July 30th and will be judged at a mee­ ting of Executive Committee. I have had a few sub­ IthasbeendecidedbyServicesand Finance Com­ QUEENSLAND UNIVERSITY missions already, they are listed below. So get your mittee to allow Colleges to run their own bar and MUSICAL SOCIETY ideas in!! catering for functions on Union premises. All they The Queensland University Musical Society are pay now is room hire and cleaning. Contact Keith or P.S. It should be relevant to the Union. Dawn in Catering in the offices next to Main Re­ having a concert on May 28th at Mayne Hall at 8 fectory. p.m. Tickets are available on 399 4887. UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE This is your chance for fame and fortune on the POSITIONS ON UNION COUNCIL AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE IN Academic "Sale ofthe Century". Nominations are sought for four (4) vacant po­ TEACHING The Union will be sending a team to Universit}' sitions on Council. These are: Yesit's true. There are lecturers at the University Challenge - a quiz show on the ABC which is in its of Queensland who inspire, are enthusiastic, vital, 1 Agriculture/Forestry Rep organise material well etc, etc. second year. 1 Arts Part Time Rep Our team humiliated us last year by losing every 1 Commerce and Economics Part Time Rep Are you stimulated and aroused by one ofthem.' round so don't let this happen to our reputation 1 Law Part Time Rep If so, nominate them before May 30th and they might receive a $1500 reward. again. The next Council will be held on the 25th May Activities will be running heats to decide the (reconvened Fifth Ordinary) with the Sixth Ordi­ Who knows what you'll receive! The forms are in competitors for our team. nary Council on the same date. the Education Office ofthe Union Building. The competing team gets all its expenses paid for Interesting motions will be coming up on EXPO, by the ABC to go to University of Tasmania!!! the purchase of a Semi Automatic Weapon for GOOD LUCK IN YOUR EXAMS (Hobart) in second semester. Four competitors are Clubs and Societies to gun down some College Don't despair. No one can get a negative GPA needed so, organise yourselves into groups of four Clubs etc, etc. (yet). and ring Activities on 371 l6l 1 and ask to speak to So, ifyou want to join all the otherdesperados on ROBYN FINKEN David Grant or Harro Waetjen. Council and show them up, nominate!!! Union Secretary

SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 19 ble coping with Bobby's death as well - especially poor Jenna Wade who had to undergo psychiatric treatment. In Dallas, Pam woke up and the whole season was a dream, but no-one told Gary and Val over at Knot's Landing! DALLAS

After exchanging vows Bo said: DAYS OF OUR LIVES "Can I say something? Hope ... I know that it's Did we botch up the "Days of Our Lives" section taken us a long time to get here and we've both had last time or what!? As the Easybeats say ..."SORRY, doubts... you make me feel so happy, so alive... It's SORRY, SORRY, SORRY ...."! hard for me to tell people how I feel but today, in Firstly, we got the opening lines wrong, "Like front ofall these people I have no problem telling sand in the hour glass so are the days of our lives", you that I love you ... I know it won't be roses (no should be "Like sands through the hour glass so are way - not on Days!) but we have something special the days of our lives. This is McDonald Carey (Dr (Americans love that word!) here worth fighting for Trouble in Paradise? It's never paradise for long Tom Hotton) and these are the days of our lives," -1 love you Hope." for J.R. and Sue-Ellen. They looks so happy here. The second mistake was that we told you that Hope replied; He's thrown her into sanitariums and been unfaith- there was actually a time when Peter Reckell (Bo fulso many times - he's really said some nasty things "... I guess I fell in love with you the first time I but they still love each other. J.R. always uses J:he Brady) didn't have a beard. We said, "Recognise saw you (sure - that's why she chased Roman for so same line "There's something special between us - a him without his beard? It's Peter Reckell (Bo Brady) long!) but that's nothing compared to how I feel from "Days of Our Lives". In the early SO's he was now. Remember what we said in New Orleans - fire". (If only I had a dollar for every time Iheatd the not half as popular in "As the World Turns." We "True love's the gift which God hath given to man word "special" on a soap!!). Sue-Ellen always gives forgot to show you the picture last time. Here it alone beneath the heaven. The silver link, the silver in to him. Itseems that they could stay together this is. tie which heart to heart, and mind to mind in body time. J.R. is resisting temptation from Mandy and soul can bind" (from "The Day of the Last Winger - Mandy went to visit J.R. at his office ... Minstrel" by Sir Walter Scott) ... I was so young Mandy: I've thought a lot about you J.R. (moves when you met me (tearfully now)... and I get so mad towards him) when you call me "little one" but knowing you and J.R.: (stepping back) Sue-Ellen says you're doing a loving you has made me grow into a woman and I'm great job. your woman Bo ... and in front ofall these people I Mandy: (moving closer) Does she? There hasn't give you my life and my love ... Oh Bo (she always been another man since you. It's still you J.R. says that!) I love you and I'm so proud to be your wife." ^ J.R.; I don't think this is the time or the place. Mandy: Will you just make me a drink for old times But although their wedding took the form of a sake? grand ceremony in England, the Brady's will never J.R.: Sure, just one. be a traditional couple. They will continue to love,' battle, break up and make up. U.S.: Justice Department bursts in with injunction It took poor Hope three trips to the altar before against Ewing Oil doing business and a photo is she finally married the man she loved. taken of a surprised J.R., Mandy and Sly (J.R.'S The first time, Bo whisked her away on his mo­ THE YOUNG AND THE secretary). torbike saving her from marriage to slimy Larry Sue-Ellen sees the photo and is jealous of Mandy. Welch. The second time she actually did reluctantly RESTLESS J.R, tries to convince her that Mandy is in the past. marry Larry. She wouldn't sleep with him because Some parents discourage their 'kids' from watching Sue-Ellen remains paranoid however (can you she loved Bo and even faked a pregnancy to Bo! soapies believing that they encourage promiscuity. blame her?) but instead of turning to the bottle, she While still married to Larry, Hope found herself There aren't many 'nice' girls on soaps and the odd throws herself into her work and against Mandy. In with Bo at Oak Alley, a Southern plantation. In the nice girl is corrupted (look at what happened to front of Mandy, Sue-Ellen tears up Mandy's con­ tradition of Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara of Melissa on "Days of Our Lives'' since she discovered tract with Valentine Lingerie so that Mandy has no her sexuality!). Concerned parents should be happy "Gone With The Wind", Bo carried Hope up the reason to stay in Dallas. with "The Young and the Resdess". staircase, into the master bedroom where they Sue-Ellen: I made you a star. made love and vowed to be together forever as soon Mandy: I built you a company. as they found a way to get rid of Larry. Sue-Ellen: No lady -1 did. Yeah, you were a terrific poster girl - you're no more than a disposable facial tissue. Mandy: I'll show you when I leave Dallas with your husband! Sue-Ellen: He doesn't need you anymore. You need him. Mandy: I'll show you Sue-Ellen! CLIFF HANGERS Eversince "Dallas" gave us the "Who shot J.R." thriller, the other soapies have been clamouring to outdo it. Some have wotked, others haven't. This year was no exception with season's finales that range from the: Rock star Danny and his friend Cricket befriend Dull "Dallas" Ewing Oil has been bought and a two troubled pregnant teenagers - MoUie and Nina. sad J.R. sits in the Ewing Oil offices with his son (Virginal Cricket taking unwed teenagers under her John Ross watching removalists taking furniture wing offering comfort and advice - I bet she can away and removing plaques from the walls and really relate to their problems!) This exposure to doors. It Was heart wrenching. J.R. said to John Ross the plight ofpregnant teenagers makes Danny won­ A long time ago son, I promised you that one day der whether the suggestive lyrics in rock music you'd run Ewing Oil. The building may be sold and might not be contibuting to the problem. So he the name changed but it's in here (points to his organised the "It's O.K. To Say *N0' Concert" - heart). A cocky Jeremy Wendell tells a stunned J.R. teenagers should have the right to say no to sex.. that he now owns Ewing Oil and that he dropped Bo and Hope, the rebel and the rich girl finally past "to make sure you don't take anything 5iat got hitched!! Viewers didn't know what to expect belongs to me ... I warned you not to cross me". when Marlena said "What beautiful music - it's a TRIVIA Jeremy walks tp the painting of Jock - J.R. threa­ pity Liz couldn't be here to sing" and Abe replied This one has been put under the title "Trivia" tens, "You touch that painting and I'll kill you "I'm sure the soloist will do just fine." Guess who since it has been used here in Brisbane - "Knot's where you stand". Jock may be dead but his power the soloist turned out to be ... Bo himselfl! Bo sang Landing" - spin off from "Dallas". How's this for a lives on. Jeremy walks away. J.R. taks the painting to Hope in his disgusting nasally voice - as weak as plot hole? ... When Bobby "died" in Dalls, Gary off the wall of his "Daddy" and shows it to John . water (as my Daddy says). Ewing took his brother's death pretty badly and his Ross, "This is Ewing Oil" he says with convicrion. For those of you who missed the wedding cere­ wife Val, even named one of her twins in Bobby's Clayton has a serious heart condition, the doctor mony it was so sweet. memory. As you know, everyone in Dallas has trou­ tells Miss Ellie that he has to take it easy; Cliff

20 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 Barnes and April Stevens have secured a nice little the rabbit killer has this ... Fallon also goes after "friendship"; just when Pam and Bobby finally Frankie, drives along in the desert until her car seem to be working their lives out - they explained stalls. She phones for help but mysterious static to Christopher thathe wasadopted and told hm that interferes with her conversation with the operator. they love him, Pam phones Bobby on the car phone She then sees a UFO land only metresaway. A figure and tells him that the doctor said she can have a emerges through the haze and beckons her. In a baby! Bobby has just said "Hurry home" and then dream like state Fallon boards a spaceship which Pam has a car accident! takes her away!

Remember him? For those of you who don't, ar, explanation will appear in the next edition of "Semper" Your clue, the final lines of the cliff- hanger: CLIFFHANGER Mystery Man: I've come to claim what's mine - COMPETITION Farewell again for Pam and Bobby. Is it final this Krystle. We are not asking how will they be resolved but time? Krystle: Oh my God ... Matthew! rather, how to you think they should be resolved. Just write and tell us. We are looking for a sense of humour and imagination. Three prizes will be of­ TYPICAL "DYNASTY" RIDICULOUS fered and first prize is ... a free "Semper" (only Adam and Dana's big Carrrington family wed­ joking that was Pastor Spannercock's suggestion ding at the Carrington mansion goes off without a "THE COLBYS" actually!). The prizes are surprises!! Y'ou'll find out hitch. WHen the wedding was over and everyone Channinghas runoff to abort Miles' baby; Jason, in the next edirion of "Semper". Entries for the was about to relax, terrorists burst into the manor. realising that he still loves Frankie chases after her, cliffhanger competition close on Friday 22ndJuly, Heading them was ... she has an accident and collapses ~ is she dead? But 1988. IKMIIBHEDIIUinSffSUN 6AMHQAri BREAKWT SHOW

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SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 21 College Page

You might have guessed by now that I, and a lot Jason Murdoch looks behind the carefullyof othe r students on campus, don't think too much of this oaken-hailed bastion of the ruling class. That's right. We don't. Most other colleges don't cultivated facade of that bastion of rulingeither . Even Kings, another upper-crust Churchie clone, doesn't get along terribly well with Johns; let alone more down-to-eatth colleges Uke St. Leo's class dominance, and Emmanuel. Johns is located down by the scenic riverside, not far from the Chem. Engineering Building, Next door is St. Leo's - a masterstroke of brilliant thin­ king by the Roman Catholic Church, unrivalled since God put the Jews and the Arabs next door to each other. Gone now are the days when frozen oranges used to get hurled between Leo's and John's like writs from Craig Watson's solicitors. (In fact, back in the late '70's Johns even made an ex­ tremely powerful catapult, called "The Ging", out St. John's of steel pipes and speargun hoses, which they used to bombard their foes next door until the Leo's Firsts demolished the machine: look up an old SEMPER if you don't believe me.) Gone are the days when anything left not nailed down at either John's or Leo's would quickly end up down in the lake with the eels. But even today the old rivalries still linger. One way in which these rivalries find a harmless, College if deplorably juvenile, outlet is in the practice of gate-crashing each others' social functions. All col­ leges suffer this to some extent (though most try to Most colleges tend to think of themselves as pretty damn good. St. John's (more deter it by installing barbed wire, hiring mercena­ commonly, and affectionately, known as "Jabbers") don't - they KNOW they're ries, wheeling out water cannons, lowering ticket pretty damn good. After all, what other college has its own deluxe in-ground gold­ prices, etc), butjohn's seem to cop it more than any of the others. No one knows why. Perhpas it's re­ fish pond? None. And even if any other college DID, John's w6uld never find out, sentment at the secretive way in which John's ad­ because they're too stuck up to associate with such lower class riff-raff. (Except for vertise - or, rather, DON'T advertise - their piss- Women's College women. And then only because Women's is their sister college ups; a little hand-written scrap of notepaper giving and they have to.) details of time, venue, and cost, pinned to Women's notice-board, is the only advance notice which the trained party-goer can spot. No massive posters, no lecture-bashing, no chalk-up campaigns. But the word gets around nevertheless. And since most other students on campus are loathe to hand over money in any shape or form to the St. John's Col­ lege Student Club, they resort to ingenious and often admirable ways to get in without paying. A little ditty from the 1985 St Leo's Magazine expresses this sentiment, and the other college's dislike of John's, quite neatly; At Leo's we like to crashing a ball, We go to get drunk if not laid; The beer and the goon taste much better to all If it's somebody else who has paid. A ball is put on by society's best, and bouncers are there to ensure That others like us don't come sully the nest; But there's always an open side door. This year the Jabbers put one on at home, And thought it could never be crashed; But a library window found open by some Let Leo's get in to get smashed. So when the John's losers left belting in packs St. Leo's were there to collect all the hacks. Other colleges have similar sacred songs paying outJohn's.Mostare somewhat less refined than this one. So what is it about John's? What are their re­ sidents like? To get into Johns, you need certain qualifications. Like a high TE score, a rich father, membership in the Young Liberals, a languid Eton- type accent and a deviant sense of humour. You get kicked out of Johns only for acts of extreme mis­ behaviour (low GPA, daring to wear thongs or a tieless shirts, etc) but, for lesser infractions against the unwritten rules, you get "trialled" at a student club meeting. The punishment usually involves be­ ing made to strip off most or all of your clothing (Johns' deviant sense of humour, see) and to run up and down College Road or the Duchesne corridors or dive into the lake. So, in the words ofthe old song; Who wants to be • a Jabber? Answer: I don't.

POSTSCRIPT In his last Colleges Page, Jason Murdoch did a very naughty thing. He neariy defamed the Vice Chancellor. He rather snidely implied that (i) the Vice Chancellor is a Protestant; (ii) the Vice Chan­ cellor is from Northern Ireland, and (iii) the Vice Chancellor once tried to close down St. Leo's. All of the above insinuations are totally untrue. In fact, (i) the Vice Chancellor is NOT a Protestant, (ii) he does NOT come from Northern Ireland, and (iii) he did NOT try to close down St. Leo's.

22 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 :fT"J^—p":

( ? JL %JL\,%JL^9 JL^JLJLJL^9 "F.A.B., Dad" "Missed by that much!" "Danger, Will Robinson!" "Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit..."

It seems that whenever two or three are gathered, the indelible and vivid memories were produced in the US in the mid 1960's, in an of childhood television are recycled. It usually begins innocuously enough, perhaps atmosphere of great social upheaval. Insinuations and innuendo are rife, though not blantant enough an oblique reference to Tbe Professor and M.ary-Anne, or the Cone of Silence, but it to offend even the Moral Majority. So although you prevades quickly. Pride is taken on the degree of triviality (who needs to read The never actually see Morticia lashing Gomez, Laraby Guide to know that Thing was usual Lurch's forelimb), and the obscurity of one's getting it off with Hymee or Roger Ramjet drop­ recollections. Socio-economic and ethnic differences, age and education levels be­ ping anything other than a Proton Pill, it is hard not come stark determinants of the level to which one can participate ~ everyone ^fiX- to perceive at least the possibility of such eventua­ lities. ched McHale's Navy but only some ofus have the ability to converse intelligently on But, alas, times have changed since my child­ the social relevance of Batfink's Super-Sonic-Sonar-Radar. hood. Whereas once one could wake up to The Thun- It is always assumed, however, that you had access to a television in your childhood. derbirds and The Wacky Races and be excited, now there is only Kerri-Anne Kennerly and Mike Gib­ The television of our younger years has largely individual formula, sometimes merely one gag re­ son being boring. And whereas once a kid (?) could been assimilated into our popular culture. It proves peated with variations week after week. No matter come home from school (?) to treats like F-Troop a common experience for even the most diverse of how possible the Robinson's return to earth would and The Munsters, (we have The Adams Family instead groups. Obviously some had greater opportunit}'of become, Dr Zachary Smith (i.e. 'Special Guest Star' now) the options are now limited to inane teenage inclination than others to indulge, but who Jonathon Harris) would foul it up. hosts on shows such as Wombat and Ridgey Didge. amongst us has never seen any of the programmes Somehow we were (and still are?) reassured by listed below? In the school-yard's of our Youth the the security of knowing exactly how the story will Even those wonderfully tacky ads for K-tel and Khemlani affair was never as important as.K»Hi(7 the turn out, even to the extent of knowing the next John Sands boardgames have been replaced by White Lion's most recent adventure. Quite simply, if line of dialogue. Even if you haven't seen the re­ glossy overproduced ads for McDonalds and Dick the SRA Reading Cards were more interesting than runs n±l times, no one can, for example, still tell Smith P.C.'s. the Bannana Splits, you might as well move to Ulan when Schultz will decide to "hear nothitik* and 'see If one is to spend time in front of the box, it's Bator. nothink'. surely better that the programmes are original, so­ The pppularitj' of these shows can be attested by Perhaps we derive a sense of superiority and om­ phisticated and crafted. Back then there was no their longevity; not only do they still screen, but niscience through our total knowledge ofthe cha­ need to invent huge animated robots that travel their influence stretches to T-shirts, postcards, pos­ racter's personalities. Perhaps it is refreshing to be through sea and sky and mountainside and then ters, coffee shop banter. Trivial Pursuit questions transported temporarily into fanciful world.s with change shape. There was no need to bombard the and Semper articles. It may not be sound to sitglued bizarre situations, populated by thoroughly human senses with visual effects and synthesized sound­ to the T\' now (especially ifthe programme is Ame­ characters we know and understand. There are no tracks. rican) but a solid grounding in the classics is a va­ twists and no wild cards, and we relish reminiscing They were quite happy to entertain. And if they luable social asset. about those journeys. didn't do it so well, we wouldn't be talking about The shows to which I refer have lived because That is not to say, however, that there is no social them now. they were entertaining. They worked to their own relevance in these shows. The most memorable P.S. I saw Sooty Down Under.

SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 23 Lettets

Dear Editors, and resulted in marginalising the Dear Editors, disclaimer of the opinions expressed As an elected member ofthe D.D.I.A.E. point of the rally. The reactionary wave against this in the feministarticle re doctors doing Union Council and a fellow student, I The point of the rally, to my mind, year's "Trephine" and its humour has pelvic examinations. I am sure they am writing to express my regret and was to show ourselves united in op­ filled me with puzzled amusement. Af­ distanced themselves because the arri- anger over the manner in which last position to tertiary fees, graduate ta­ ter reading your April edition, I am cle is full of sexual discrimination, im­ Thursdays (5/5/88) student stop work xes and any other form of tax on stu­ greatly distressed to see Mr Watson plying that such procedures are only meeting at the Roma Street Forum dents. The heckling and disruption sta­ write an apology and say future copies done in a pleasant way by female doc­ was disrupted. ged by this group made us appear far will be submitted to a pressure group tors. In fact it matters not one whit The group responsible, apparently from united. for approval, and legal service for vet­ what the doctor has between the legs. members of the International Socia­ In the present polirical climate it is ting. Fearless Journalism indeed! This It's what is between the ears that list Movement, showed no respect for vital that students show they are ca­ weak submission is fora journal which counts. Kindness, gendeness, thought- the rights and opinions of others, not pable of intelligent, reasoned debate. is after all not for sale to the general fulness, tact, understanding and warm­ any real concern for the welfare of stu­ That is not how the general public saw public, is labelled "Entertainment for th, are not specific to man or woman. dents. us last Thursday. Instead they saw stu­ medical students", and also has a war­ Even a mere male can warm a cold speculum! I can honestly say that Had they been genuinely concer­ dents wracked by dissent within their ning that the material may offend! there have been female doctors ned with helping students win in their own ranks. I found your Women's Rights arti­ amongst the more unfeeling that I struggle against the Government's cle on page 22 rather droll. To me it is This is a time for action and that have known. Graduate Tax proposal, they would action can only be effective ifwe have obvious that the author has peered have abstained from the loud-mou­ clearly defined goals and clearly defi­ through the journal with a purient but There have always been people who thed, bullying tactics they employed. ned strategies to achieve these goals. biased curiosity to find the bits that thumb determindly through books to find something that offends. The an­ The students were there. The fo­ offend her. We could have achieved our goals swer for them is to .stop reading. But rum was there. Anyone could have had It calls to mind Leunig's retrospec- were the rally able to continue. It was do they stop? Never! (Trimly on they their say. They chose instead to ignore toscope cartoon on page 29 of "Tre­ not, and what plan for future action plod to find every last bit of filth about rhe fundamental right of free speech phine" and the "Confucian" saying have the International Socialist's left which to complain, and inflicted themselves, via mega­ us with ? Very little I suggest. "He who look for dirt find grit in own phone, on rhose present. eye."' Let s be adult about this maga/.ine. If students are to get anywhere in If isa journal lor enibrvo aoctors who If these people were genuinely con­ I say biased, because she deplores "a this struggle to maintain the basic will spend the rest ot rheir working cerned for the future of free education series of photographs featuring three right to a free education we must work lives carmg lor people and their bodily in this countrv, they would have at men and a woman boasting a gang together. Serving narrow self-interest functions, the sexu;ii being the major least listened to what was being said can only be ultimately destructive to bang theme." The only specific refe­ part oi the mechanism. Are they al­ and allowed others the same oppor­ the common good. rence to a gang bang featured three ways to treat sexuality with clinical tunity. women and a man. Apparently Wo­ .seriousness, religious awe. or render GED BULMER men's Rights think that's okay (so Perhaps it was the mood of students love? Those aspects of sex are great in to march and if that was the case, so be VICE-PRESIDENT would the man, probably). D.D.I.A.E. UNION their time and place. But there >s al.so a it. But thecal! to march was premature Further on she decries the Editor's time and a place tor the great big baw­ dy belly laugh. Sexuality produces the greatest pleasure, pressure, and ten­ Dear Editors, sion that humans can feel, and laugh­ The following is a response to a letter ing at it is the catharsis that clears the printed in edition 1, 1988 under 'Let­ constipation of feeling. Rabelais (a phy­ ters to the Editor'. sician) wrote 'Gargantua and Panta- gruel", a rude, crude, bawdy novel, Dear Fitzy, specifically to help his neurotic pati­ The 'really together guy' is leading ents to laugh at themselves and at hu­ you astray, o.k? Of course Jim-Baby man nature. That is what the editors of (as in Morrison) lives, but the research "Trephine" have done in part. of underground movie-making enthu­ Sure it's crude and rude and bawdy siasts here in the city has revealed that in parts, but it is also serious and has the American poet-cum-snake skin many delightful cartoons. Most ofthe clad revolutionary that once fronted crudity and humour is about sex, be­ that sacred semblage (the Doors) is, cause that is the universal joke theme. and has been, hiding out in the South Everyone is interested in it, one way or American Andes since his supposed another. Racism too! Ye Gods! The demise in Paris 'Snake in the Andes' (if flavour of the month! Hasn't Wo­ ever produced) will prove to be a three men's Rights heard about Black Hu­ minute mind-blowing documentary mour? that reveals the truth of our hero's on­ Will Mr Watson expunge these tar­ going existence among the mortal, gets of humour from the repertoire of however removed he may now be future editors?TakeheartMr Watson! from current public profile. They will still be left with themes for Weird scenes inside the gold mine, jokes such as the Semper Editors ap­ for sure! Honestly, if Morrison was proved on the page facing the Wo­ working in a pizza shop in Kenmore, men's Rights arricle. "Bill Colon" ex­ wouldn't one suppose that he would ploits robbery, mutilation, buggery, value discretion? Yours and mine. accurate. If only the guru were that homosexuality, five different varieties Groovy piece of gossip, but sadly in­ accessible. Alas! Raechael U.Q, Student of individual murder, mass murder, arson, poisoning, drug-running, and mockery of religion to get his laughs. Dear Editors, We have Dirk Moses who was elec- representing only a minority of stu- "Trephine's" transgressions pale into The current Bicentenary/42ZZ/Wo- ted by only 10% ofthe students,versus dents. insignificance! men's Rights debate between Dirk the left who number only 1% of the I hope you can work it out-because Can I please say to the editors ofthe Moses and the radical left is so bloody students. IT can't,.««'.!i "Trephine" and to Mr Watson - Sum­ amusmg. Each side attacks the other side for mon up the blood! Stiffen the sinews! TOM ROUND Conceal fair natured face and all that jazz! When outside pressure groups dic­ CONVERSATION AT A PUB Dear Editors, tate to medical students how they shall enjoy their collective literary life, it It is 1988. I am a first year student at Queensland makes me fearful they will become The White Australian, Uni and have recendy been trying to inhibited, pompous, pretentious pricks Celebrating, take an interest in the way the Union of doctors. I would rather see human Pays lip service works. However there is one thing I doctors, who can laugh at themselves What kind of democracy just can't understand. That is that equally as often as at the people and And apologises for when anyone refers to the Union Trea­ world about them. There should be a His ancestors' hypocricy. Is it surer, Mark Bahnisch, they call him flourishing sense of humour at each But is he any different? When people "MR WHIPPY". I cannot understand end of the pelvic examination or pal­ See no alternative this, could you please explain this to pation of the prostate. Neither are Forhis lips prefer But to elect me. much fun, but the sense of humour helps enormously. Somebody once Their fraditional service - Politicians said, "If I laugh, it is because if I did They scornfully mistrust? He knocks back another stubbie. INEXPLICABLY not, I would cry." CONFUSED PETER BARKER - By Laura Bahnisch FRESHER M.B.B.S. (MELB) 1949

24 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 Reviews something outrageous" - so they did), Big Bad Noise - If You Can't Lick'em ... a couple of 'ultrarare' songs like 'Re­ volution in the Classroom', and re­ CHOIRBOYS Lick'em - TED NUGENT After an enormous break since Records arranged versions of some of the Pis­ I've probably heard worse records, their debut album, the Choirboys tols' less known songs, such as 'I'm a but don't ask me to name them. The We Have Come For Your Lazy Sod' and 'Unlimited Supply'. have returned with a powerful and en­ ergetic album, and a cohesiveness that DEAD KENNEDYS "IN GOD WE Children-THE-SEX The Pistols may have been 'three TRUST" rates a dishonourable men­ chord wonders', but what they could was lacking in their first effort. A well produced effort that will have no pro­ tion but that record and indeed that PISTOLS do with those three chords! The ener­ group itself had an excuse: punk was The Sex Pistols! - just say the name gy, commitment and passion of the blem in finding a home on the turn­ tables of hard rock fans. something new - an experiment. With and you are assured ofa reaction (usu­ music more than compensates for any over twenty albums released in a ca­ ally one of horror on this campus) by technical 'shortcomings', and on this Starfish - THE CHURCH reer that's spanned as many years, Ted the listener. While my attitudes on the album the musical arrangements are Nugent has no excuses. He's just got a views expressed in their songs range among the most intense on any re­ The Church's fourth LP has been an eagerly awaited one, and does not dis­ new record that's not real great. from agreement (with 'Holidays in the cord, punk or otherwise. appoint. Coming in the wake of inter­ Sun') to disgust ('Bodies'), put on one When you're eating a bowl of rice Although this record is obviously nal disharmony, which came to crisis • oftheir records, and I'll be up and po- krispies and some of them don't pop, not for everyone - the easily offended point when Marty Willson-Piper quit going with the best of them. hey, no problem. That's expected. will have smashed the disc in pieces by the band (only to return a few days But when none of them pop, that's 'We Have Come For Your Children' the end ofthe Grundy interview alone later), during a European tour in 1987, when there is a problem. Ted's served is yet another collection of material - if you're interested in truly great mu­ and the change of record companies. up a soggy-cereal mix of heavy metal from their explosive career, but is dif­ sic, this is recommended - and if Starfish sees the Church return to a meatheadedness which tries to huff ferent from the others in that much of you 're a Pistols and/or punk fan, this is minimalistic sound with impeccable and puff but doesn't blow any houses it is rarely heard. For your money, you a must. Now, if you'll excuse me ... I results. Forgoing the brass and string down. get several interviews - including the •wanna beeeeee Anarchyyyyy... sections and layered guitars so predo­ infamous one with Bill Grundy ("Say If Ted could write song lyrics even RODNEY CATLING minant on 1986's "Heyday" album, half as good as the person who's writ­ most of Starfish was recorded live in ten his artist's bio, one might have the studio and has captured the feel been inclined to overlook the fanati­ and atmosphere of the band's sound. cally routine and uncharismatic musi­ As with "Heyday", the songwriting cre­ cianship. But no. When even the al­ dits have been distributed evenly bum's ballad SPREAD YOUR among the whole band, rather than WINGS has its cliche-programmed relying solely on the pen of singer/ mind in the gutter, (the record's title bassist Steve Kilbey. along with its front cover photograph The new album is rich in dynamic is a metaphor for rape) you know to textures, excellent musicianship, and keep walking. brilliant lyrics. As on past Church al­ There was a riff half wav through bums the songs range from slow bal­ THE HARDER THEY COME THE lads to rock songs, with a few surpri­ HARDER I GET which briefly remin­ ses. Standout songs are "Destination", ded me of why I like to listen to music, which opens side one, and the Marty but a momentary sensation like that Willson-Piper penned "Spark", which constitutes as no more than a tempo­ opens the flip side. Willson-Piper han­ rary oasis in a heavy metal desert of dles vocal chores on his own song, as despair. does other guitarist Peter Koppes on his - an obvious sign of the new com­ Overall, underall, and sideways all, promises within the band. the Nuge's new album didn't even in­ terest me enough to make me sick. "Under the Milky Way" was relea­ The sad thing is though, judging from • sed as the first single from the album, interviews, Ted Nugent is so proud of and is currendy making headway in his new album you'd think he'd been both alternative and mainstream pregnant with it for the last nine ' charts, a good sign for the commercial future of the band. Given the new­ months and just given birth. Iii fact, I found resolutions within the indivi­ can just hear him sprouting to anyone dual development of band members who'd care to listen "Wait till ya hear through their solo projects. The the album". To which I can only reply, Church have made what could be their "Wait till ya read the reviews". breakthrough to well-earned interna­ tional success. GLEN DONALDSON

Too Far Gone - HOTEL the airplay that it should it could break Harmonising voices and guitars (with­ Do Re Mi into the mainstream accep­ out sounding cliched) dominate in BRESLIN tance that they deserve. what could be one of the best bands to Singles Another local debut, this time hav­ come out of American in a long time. ing a raunchy guitar based style draw­ He's My Girl - DAVID Well worth a listen. By Mark White ing from a range of influences. Vocals are the big let down here, keeping a HALLIDAY Obviously, there are quite a few ta­ Endless Summer Nights - very low profile in the mix and in dic­ Yet another American actor turns lented original bands in Brisbane who RICHARD MARX tion. The keyboards add a nice, sleazy to sitiging in hope of advancing his ' have not yet had the opportunity to backdrop to a powerful thrash lineup, career. Unfortunately the song relies release some vinyl. I would like to The third single from his self-ritled only it's a pity that the vocals aren't heavily on the title line, and the rest of incl ude some reviews ofdemo tapes or album doesn't continue the high AOR powerful enough to cut through. it is boppy garbage - and Halliday's live gigs of local, original bands. This standard set by his previous efforts, voice does nothing to save it. Hope­ would be a good opportunity to give but he does have a fine voice and looks A first single is always a critical lear­ fully I'll miss the movie .... some coverage to talent that is other­ good enough to have his videos re­ ning experience for any band, and I wise ignored by the media. hope that Hotel Breslin capitalise on peatedly aired on MTV (regardless of Any interested bands can give tapes, the song's quality). this and use it to improve their sound. Dreams - BODEANS information, etc, to me, c/- The Sem­ Another fine cut from their Jerry per Office. I'd like to hear from you. Wrestle Wrestle - WHO'S Still On Your Side - Harrison-produced second album. MARK WHITE GERALD JIMMY BARNES The first single from a Brisbane Once again Barnes keeps the tax- band who has been developing their man awav with another single from his sound for a few years now. Definitely a "Freight'Train Heart" album. The jliyrosslljoni rrocesski good time band, this song and the song is typically Barnes; it seems that flipside are quirk, light hearted songs he founda formula for his material and that sound uncannily familiar to a six­ is too afraid to advance in any other ties cartoon theme. Neat concise ar­ direction - unfortunate, because for rangements that demonstrate the this listener at least it is starting to SPECIAL RATES FOR STUDENTS band technical abilities arc however become stale. To Help Eliminate Those let down by banal lyrics, which are (in ASSIGNMENT & THESES BLUES keeping with typical rock tradition) Haunt You-DO RE MI printed on the outside cover. Why? I ,Mi .Jot) Si/es Cfitefed For • ,\li Work IS Done on a Wang Word A powerful single from one of t Deadlines are Met Processor making Amendrrienis a(\

SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 25 Reviews

renowned. The show runs for three weeks from 12 th to 29th May. Theatre Following this, Assorted Swines pre­ sent "Storks in a Pit" on 10th June. The swines in question are some of LA BAMBA Brisbane's best known professional ac­ tors who have come together under La Bamba is La Boite's late night and this anonymous tide to present an eve­ early week venue which features an ning of humour, music and fun, array of music, comedy, cabaret, dance A highlight of La Bamba this year and theatre. will be "No Exit" by Jean-Paul Sartre, La Bamba began as a means of en­ which runs from 12th to 28th June. couraging new approaches to theatre The play is a sophisticated cut and and of challenging perceptions ofthe thrust of intellectual repartee. Set in performing arts. Its aim was to pro­ hell, the protagonists - Garcin, Inez duce theatre that was experimental, and Estelle are the instruments of each accessible and above all - entertaining. other's torture, yet the key to each La Bamba has been responsible for others' salvarion. No Exit promises to launching such history-making shows be an interesting exploration of Sar­ as "Paisley Pirates of Penzance", "Con­ tre's philosophy in action. way Christ; Redneck Superstar" and From 30th June to 2nd July, Bon- "Geoff: The Band". Successful thea­ zani presents Commedia dell'arte at tre groups such as Order by Numbers its spontaneous best. The show fea­ and Street Arts have also performed at tures the risque, slapstick humour for La Bamba. which Italian street theatre is renow­ The memb e rs of the popular cabaie t group "Brass Razoo' '.whopresentedamixtuieof comedy, music and cheap thrills, The off-beat Fluba Troupe is cur­ ned, rently presenting its new show, "Stan­ July is a "heavy period" For Wo­ music, story and movement which kets are $10 and $8 for concessions ding on Your Heads", a collage con­ men's theatre at La Bamba, as the celebrates the lives ofa number of ex­ (ZZZ subscriber, student, unemplo­ structed from images of a city at fair month is devoted to shows by and traordinary women from Queensland's yed and others). The bar is open and time. This year's offering promises to about women and women's issues. past. supper is provided. For bookings, con­ provide the same wit, colour, vigour Watch for "Matilda Women" on 15th All this and more at La Bamba, late tact La Boite theatre between 4 p.m. and excitement for which the group is and 16th July, a vibrant mixture of night entertainment at La Boite. Tic­ and 6 p.m., Monday to Saturday.

tice, etc. While Levinson's direction through­ Film out the film is interesting, working much of the time with a hand held camera to allow an intimacy not nor­ GOOD MORNING mally seen, his handling of this ro­ mantic, human interest sub-plot tee­ VIETNAM ters on the pathetic. The catch cry "Good Morning Viet­ nam" is likely to slip into the voca­ The .strength ofthe movie is Robin bulary ofall the hip pastel clad dudes William's performance which is one of you find 'struttin their stuff in the great intelligence and humour. He Mall on Friday nights. Good Morning emerges not just as a leviathan of Vietnam is that kind of film. Like "Life cinematic comedy, but as a satisfying Of Brian" before it, you're liable to dramatic actor who brings humanity find great slabs of dialogue recited to to a role which may have tested many you by twits who have little humour of other screen comics. their own. The number of oddballs which Le- This does not mean Good Morning vinson has sprinkled amongst his cast Vietnam is a poor movie. In fact, it is provides additional humour in a film quite hilarious - or principally, Robin which will keep your belly laughing Williams is. It would be easy to dismiss until at least half way. the film as a successful vehicle for Wil­ In Good Morning Vietnam we are We have Robin Williams, middle- This movie will be a hit in Austra­ liam's rapid fire wit and humour, but placed in Saigon in I965, in the early class liberal, who isa friend to the peo­ lia, and deserves to be. It presents a that would mean selling short the days of U.S. involvement, when the ple of Saigon and who falls in love with refreshing approach to the Vietnam achievement of screenwriter Mitch war was still being euphemistically des­ a local girl he knows he can never truly War. Good Morning Vietnam may be Markowitz and director Barry Levin- cribed as a "police action". While have. We have Robin Williams, friend the blackest war comedy since "Catch son. there was conflict going on, most of the oppressed who exposes injus­ 22". troops were just hanging out, cooling Instead Good Morning Vietnam is their heals, waiting for something to best seen as the culmination of the happen. Many of these troops were long line of Vietnam movies that have tuned into Armed Forces Radio, an been made since 1977 when Coppola's easy listening station that would not "Apocolypse Now" surfaced. Since be out of place on Brisbane's brand Restaurant the hotch potch triumph, we have en­ AM dial. dured cinema's huge misplaced epic "The Deer Hunter" and then, with Adrian Cronaver (Robin Williams) CHEZ GAVINS accelerating frequency, we have wit­ is seconded from another radio station nessed a string of Vietnam war films: in Crete and arrives in Saigon with his SAMFORD ROAD, SAMFORD Stone's peculiar "Platoon", the hor­ reputation as a smart-arse, wise-crac­ king disc jockery preceding him. As far as restaurants go, Chez Gavins is The very beauriful Anita will charm rible "Hamburger Hill" and Kubrick's absolutely spiffing. The resident chef, ironic masterpiece "FuU Metal Jacket". His Prenzical, ribald radio delivery you with her sultry voice and enig­ Gavin, and his lovely hostess Carmel, matic smile. While "Full Metal Jacket" botdered and the injection of some rollicking will guarantee you an evening of fine on the absurd, in Good Morning Viet­ RNB and Motown songs onto the sta­ food, a superb choice of fresh wines, For excellent food at reasonable pri­ nam, for the first time, a director has rion playlists causes a stir amongst the and witty conservation. ces, fine entertainment and atmos­ steered away from the horror dren­ management. However, Cronaver is phere, Chez Gavins is superb. more than just a hit with the men at The menu is excellent with a wide ched realism which has typified the variety of overseas and local dishes. media's treatment of the Vietnam the front. He is a veritable phenome­ non. Yet his two stingy, regulation Catholics are especially catered for War. Instead Levinson's Good Morn­ with a variety of fish dishes. ing Vietnam leans towards black co­ army superiors don't see the joke and medy. This is important because the are firmly set against him continuing The desert menu proved to be quite media's treatment of the Vietnam war on air, Cronaver at the same time feels a surprise -1 took my desert home and has been the most open and compre­ inhibited by the Army bureaucracy, have found it to be a very suitable pa­ per weight and bookend. hensive of any war. We have had ex­ especially about news censorship and tensive nightly colour news bulletins, he deliberately breaks regulations to Chez Gavins is also famous for its huge print media coverage in both report a censored news item on air. undiscovered talent. Patrons will be books and newspapers and also the He is pulled off air and the rest of entertained by the renowned cabaret frank approaches of Hollywood film the film relates to his personal ambi­ singer, Anita, who has just returned directors. It is ironic then that, Good valence about returning to radio, etc. from an overseas tour of Iran. Morning Vietnam deals with censor­ Beyond this central story line, runs a I must admit I fell in love with her ship of news by the U.S. armed for­ mawkish romance that undermines instantly as she sung a rendition of ces. much ofthe strength of the film. Sinatra's New York, New York.

26 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 Reviews

RITA, SUE AND BOB TOO Britain's Film Four has come up with another winner in die "Letter To Brezh­ nev", "My Beauriful Laundrette" tra­ dition with "Rita, Sue And Bob Too," a sad-funny comedy about sex and life in the Yorkshire city of Bradford. Rita and Sue are two schoolgirls who sometimes babysit for a well-off couple. Bob and Michelle. In the film's opening sequence, the odious yet some­ how charming Bob, a real estate agent, gives the girls a lift home, but stops off. first on the moors above the city and without preliminaries, proposes sex with them. The girls are agreeable, with Sue taking the first turn on the reclining seat in Bob's Rover, Immediately scteenwriter Andrea Dunbar injects a completely convin­ cing mixture of raunchy comedy and sadness. The girls, with their dry York­ shire hiunour, exchange cheerful wise­ cracks about the situation, describing Bob's member as being comparable to "a frozen sausage", and showing con­ cern for each other's welfare ("Is that all she's getting?" asks Rita when Bob and Sue have finished). Bob is supre­ mely self-confident, but sadly the girls seem to find this joyless, uncomfor­ table illicit sex perfectly acceptable. It comes as a surprise to discover that Dunbar's marvelous screenplay, with its rich vein of North Country humour, is based on two stage plays; there's nothing in the least stagey about the film. Dunbar herself comes from the same Bradford housing es­ tate where the story is set, and the film obviously is derived from firsthand ob­ servation, filtered with a great sense of humour. Even while audiences will laugh at the hilarious situations and dialogue (spoken in easily understood Yorkshire dialect), they'll be moved by the plight of these people. Director Alan Clarke, who made "Scum" some years ago, directs with skill, and cameraman Ivan Strasburg ensures the film is fluidly shot with fine use of Steadicam. The music score's another asset. The dialogue is relendessly raunchy, with constant use of four-letter words and a completely uninhibited attitude to all things sexual. This one's in the finest tradition of • British realist cinema, and is a credit to all concerned.

SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 27 Fortitude Valley is in both a state of decay and regrowth. The slow death of an old, parochial city is witnessed everyday on the THE streets ofthe Valley. But so is the emergence of a new vibrant cultural pluralism. An aging population, who once would have VALLEY: rued the day of Asian migration now with time makes way for a dynamic Chinese community. A Cycle of Decay Chris Pokarier and Robert Allen have attempted to capture some ofthe spirit ofthis & Renewal unique part of Brisbane on film. Relatively low rents around Fortitude Valley and New Farm have fostered the area's appeal to both an older generation and many new immigrants. Despite the Fitzgerald Inquiry, the Valley still has its seedier side. 'It's all legal here" the keeper ofthe door assured us with the manner ofa sanctioned killer. 'It's a job", he explains. The strains of time and lives begun in the Depression show on the faces of many ofthe locals "from around 'ere". The Valley is a microcosm of change that too few Brisbanites take note of and learn from. For in the Valley all the diversity of Australia is evident in both its charm and uglines.

•V.,* ^

28 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 29 UNI OF QLD SNOW SKI CLUB ANNUAL ENGINEERING GRADUATES

Ford Australia is seeking applications froiri linal year students interested In joining the Ford Motor Company as Graduate Trainees in 1989.

As one of the premier companies in Australia with a respected Graduate Program that has been established for over 35 years. Ford offers its Graduate Trainees a challenging and varied career in a progressive and SALE dynamic company. AT UNI OF QLD SPORTS COMPLEX Applicants should be from the Engineering, or Applied Science UNION RD, UNI OF QLD, ST. LUCIA disciplines, be highly motivated and be prepared to relocate to further (Near Ihe Schonell Thealre & clearly their career. signposted from the eastern end of Sir Fred Schonell Drive.) An excellent salary, immediate superannuation and life insurance, 4 weeks annual leave, 12 programmed leave days per annum and an extensive Induction and management training program applies. SATURDAY 28TH MAY '88 - 12 NOON - SPM Persons wishing further information and/or to apply should write to Kelvin Milroy, Graduate Program Co-Ordinator, Ford Motor Company HAVE YOU GEAR TO SELL? of Australia Limited, Private Mail Bag 6, Campbelifield, Victoria, 3061. Let us sell yourncw and second-hand alpine & cross Equal Opportunity is Ford Policy. country clothing, equipment & accessories. Enquiries (07) 207 1823, 371 6555, 378 4071 or 263 1700 NOGEARTAKENONTHEDAY I Goods received a; Ihe Spotts Complex Meeting Boom on| Fri 27lh May (iO a.m.-10 p.m.) $2 handling-lee per customer. 20% commission on sale only. WIN an all inclusive^ return trip for two lucky people to a skiers paradise - America's ASPEN Ski Resort COURTESY OF ZINKA & STUDENT THA\JEL AUST^AtlA (around $6,000 value) ENTRY FORMS AT THE SKI SALE. BOTH DAYS ^Ford Australia-We're moving with you.

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30 SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 THE ADVENTURES Of TlMlAM RED TULIP AFPAIK

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SEMPER FLOREAT MAY 1988 31 NICE GUYS GUTTER PRESS New Delhi: Union Carbide Corporation yesterday asked for a review of a court order demanding it pay $254 miUion as WITH UNCLE temporary relief to victims of the 1984 Bhopal gas disaster. Up to 3,000 people died and more than RUPERT 20,000 were injured in a gas leak from Union Carbide's Bhopal plant in Decem­ ber 1984. Interim relief was ordered last Decem­ ber by a district judge as the Indian Go­ vernment's $3.97 billion damage suit was being heard in the High Court. Union Carbide's appeal against the High Court order failed. But now the company is saying in its For the News latest petition that no documents have pro­ and Vievfs ved it had "actual control" over the plant that even from which the gas had leaked. the Daily Sun PYRAMID POWER Did you know that the society of cynics overlooks! started all those rumours about the razor blade sharpening abilities of Pyramids? SERIOUS DOUBTS ABOUT Believe itor not, Ripley. PRESIDENT REAGANS REAGAN STARRY- SANITY WERE CONFIRMED RECENTLY WHEN HE WAS EYED ON HARD SEEN TALKING TO HIMSELF AT A WHITE HOUSE LAWN FUNCTION. DECISIONS Washington: President and Mrs Reagan con­ sult astrologers before the President ma­ kes difficult decisions. This revelation comes from dismissed White House chief of staff, Mr Donald Regan. But his book, to be published later this month, gives the President kidglove treat­ ment, according to Newsweek Magazine. Mr Regan gave no further details on the President's sessions with stargazers, or which problems needed their help. One charge made by the former aide is that Mrs Reagan demands, and often wins, veto power over her husband's travel sche­ RAISE THE dule. But Newsweek also quotes her close friends as saying she can take a "tough TITANIC? hit". U.Q. Liberal Club President, Scott Mine­ hane, has failed in his bid for the Presi­ dency of the Australian Liberal Students QUOTE OFTHE Federation. Scott, a colourful lad has shown many MONTH students the humane, caring face of Libe­ "It's not that I'm afraid to die. It's just that I ralism before he kicks the crap out of his don't \Nan\ to be there when it happens." opponents. — Woody Allen Interestingly, his misfortune was the sub­ ject of much glee by many members ofhis At Least One Good own conservative faction. rjl'iii'iiir"""' '•••••"i''-'''"••••• '••••• •'-• •' • •• — L" Thing About '4 Educated MacDonalds According to a report in The Sydney Mor­ This piece comes from a column in the ning Herald, the SBS newsroom has re­ Labor Herald. ceived a telex from academic and stu­ I don't know that I want to give pro­ dent associations opposed to the intro­ minence or publicity to all the growing duction of tertiary fees. The telex refer­ commercial products or enterprises but red to the Federal Education Minister as they can't be all bad: McDonalds, Red "Mr Dorkins" and the chairman ofa new Rooster, Agree, Fab, Rowntrees and My­ education committee as "Mr Neville ers Stores. These concerns are listed in a Rand". small yellow sticker being spread around <^f. Are these people engaged in poor sa­ Adelaide by National Action (giving tire? Or are they simply the same clods P.O. Box 85, Plympton as the contact who last year produced a sticker illite­ point). The sticker advocates boycotting ^ rately proclaiming education as "A Right the firms. Why? Because they use Not A Priviledge"? Asians in advertising"!