breastmattersfeeding

Motherhood after fertility treatment Story of a nursing strike A Founder celebrates our anniversary GB -to-mother support for Jul/Aug 2016 #214

La Leche League GB

For breastfeeding support from pregnancy through to call our

National Helpline 0845 120 2918

Websites www.laleche.org.uk to find your local LLL contact or submit a Help Form

www.llli.org La Leche League International for breastfeeding information

Editor: Helen Lloyd Co-Editor: Justine Fieth Contributing Editor: Emma Gardner Graphic Design: Benaifer Bhandari Photo courtesy of Editorial Consultant: Ginny Eaton Lois Rowlands LLL West Sussex

Contributions Breastfeeding Matters is YOUR magazine, we always need your letters and stories. Photos need to be clear and good quality—please send inside… high resolution digital photos to the Editors at [email protected] ’ Stories Personal views expressed here are not necessarily those of La Leche League. All Motherhood after fertility treatment ...... 4 submissions will be acknowledged and are Breastfeeding and family ...... 8 subject to editing. All articles published in LLL poem ...... 11 Breastfeeding Matters become the property of LLLGB. Story of a nursing strike ...... 12 LLLGB does not endorse products advertised or and cookies in the wee small hours ...... 14 other organisations mentioned in Breastfeeding Breastfeeding Bruce Lee ...... 19 Matters or items included in the mailing. Learning and listening ...... 21

© La Leche League Great Britain Anxiety versus reality ...... 24 La Leche League Great Britain is a company limited by A Founder celebrates our anniversary ...... 26 guarantee registered in England Registered Office: 129a Middleton Boulevard, Wollaton Park, Nottingham, NG8 1FW In Every Issue Company Number 01566925 Editor’s letter ...... 3 Registered Charity Number 283771 LLL concepts—good nutrition ...... 29

Printed by Roy Nadin Print Limited on 80% recycled paper News and Events www.roynadinprint.co.uk League Family Camp ...... 7

How to get help from La Leche League GB ...... 18 New Leaders ...... 18

Become a member ...... 20 National Helpline 0845 120 2918 LLLGB Shop ...... 31 Editor’s letter

I’m always talking about support, and about how hard it is to be a mother in isolation. Having good people around us can make such a difference, not just in the early days, but moving through our children’s lives and the evolving timeline of challenges.

So that’s not a fresh idea. But in this issue there is a view of that support from another direction – not horizontally, from those around us now, but vertically, from those who came before us. We can see this in Emma’s piece, which looks at her own family’s history of breastfeeding. Laurice didn’t have that family background, so had to do the groundwork for herself, preparing before her baby came. And of course the lateral support runs through too, with Georgy, Elizabeth and Sarah all benefitting from what LLL has to offer, and Rachel looking to other cultures to review her idea of normality, as well as hugely appreciating the support of her partner.

Carrying on with looking backwards, I’ve mentioned before that this is a special year for LLLGB, as we celebrate our 45th anniversary. Not only do we have a lovely poem from Tessa that celebrates this, we’re also delighted to have an article written by one of the seven special mothers who originally founded LLL. Mary Ann tells us about some political struggles over thirty years ago, and how the way that they were resolved has shaped the way our organisation is today.

Our organisation today is just a small charity, relying entirely on the support and goodwill of its members, which include all our active Leaders. We’ve built up so much over this time: so much carefully researched evidence, and beautifully written information. And we have been curating and sharing and, I hope, treasuring, mothers’ stories for all this time. This magazine may look a little more glossy than the old-format newsletters but its heart is the same. We share stories and news, and we reassure each other through this shared understanding.

It’s not all postcard-worthy moments of loving gazing, though, as Karem so eloquently reminds us in “Breastfeeding Bruce Lee” which has made me laugh out loud every time I’ve read it so far.

Please write to us – tell us about yourself and your breastfeeding journey, or tell us what you’d like us to print, or what you think LLLGB’s biggest achievement in 45 years has been, or anything else that inspires you. We love to hear from you! Helen Helen Lloyd is a Leader in Bath and is mum to Isaac (5) and Aneurin (2). Co-Editor Justine Fieth is a Leader in Cambridge and is mum to Josh (12) and Kezia (8). Join us to chat on Facebook at www.facebook.com/breastfeedinglllgb

In the early years the baby has an intense need to be with his mother which is as basic as his need for food. (One of the ten LLL philosophy statements)

All photos courtesy of Georgy Mason of Georgy Mason All photos courtesy

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Georgy Mason LLL West Sussex

Conceiving her daughter was Georgy’s first step, but she found some further hurdles once her baby was born. Going to LLL meetings has empowered her to learn who she is as a mother, and supported her through all her hard work and decisions.

Page 4 www.laleche.org.uk My journey to motherhood was a difficult one and I had hoped that Suddenly I didn't feel so alone: giving birth would be the beginning of my utopia; my reality was very these women were real and different and I would not have survived it without LLL. honest and they were normal.

After eight years of trying to conceive Elise and sitting on my front door and undergoing numerous rounds of step in floods of tears. assisted conception I was finally pregnant! The dark days were over Shortly before my first LLL meeting I so I felt sure that once I got to labour saw a paediatrician who told me that and birth all would be right with the if I was breastfeeding alone this world. I could not have been more would be far better for her reflux so it wrong, as life had a few more was a shame I had been combination humbling lessons to teach me. feeding. He didn't know you could relactate (though he does now, and I wanted to breastfeed but it took a has recommended this route to some long time to diagnose Elise's tongue- of his other patients). But to be tie so after much pressure from honest I didn't care about that then, health professionals I was in fact so extreme was my despair combination feeding by the end of the my only way out was to try again and first week. At this point I just wanted have another baby, a different baby, to reach four weeks of some a better baby! It pains me to admit breastfeeding: that's all I could this but it demonstrates very well my imagine myself handling, as I truly state of mind prior to that fateful first hated feeding. So no-one is more LLL meeting in March 2015. surprised than me that over a year later I'm now breastfeeding a toddler. I shyly (I'm never shy!) arrived at my In fact, at that stage the very idea first group (which I was convinced would have grossed me out! was going to be manned by the booby mafia who would hate me) and Elise finally started to put on weight asked not be shouted at for with the formula addition; my combination feeding. Well, we all still hurt like anything but I pushed on laugh about that now more than a as the tongue-tie snip had started to year on! improve things. So I was in pain, starting to suffer from post-natal The topic was the good and the bad depression, and then Elise developed and all these amazing women talked colic and silent reflux. She hardly about how they felt: from pain, slept and would regularly cry for six to sleeplessness, feeding aversion hours solid, sometimes much more. and beyond. Suddenly I didn't feel so By “solid”, I mean there would be a alone: these women were real and five-minute respite every now again honest and they were normal. For the for a quick only for it to result in first time since my daughter was born more crying. It was a bone-chilling I felt accepted, welcomed and above cry that even to the clueless first time all safe. They all also spoke about it was clearly signalling pain. I , bonding and breastfeeding spent a great deal of those first few as a tool, and I started months finding a safe place to put wanting a piece of that too.

Helpline 0845 120 2918 Page 5

With the support of Sue and the rest of the group, I started pumping in earnest to build a stash for more treatment and to relactate. Elise loved the boob, and moved from the 25th centile to the 98th. Now, because of our rocky start she had a terrible latch which brought with it nearly seven months of recurring blocked ducts and blebs, and a torn At the end of the meeting I spoke to nipple, and then there were all the Sue, the Leader, one to one: I'm constraints of a meticulous pumping nothing if not single minded in my regime to relactate. We have survived quest so wanted to know how I could it all with a smile on our face because incorporate bringing back my cycle LLL never wavered in its support of and doing IVF again. our journey.

Sue was amazing. She didn't judge or Since that first meeting, the third try and talk me out of my thinking. Wednesday of every month is the Instead she talked about reducing most important day in my calendar for night feeds and creating a long me and my sanity. LLL has helped me enough gap in my breastfeeding day to find my feet and my confidence to for my periods to come back. She said be the type of mama I want to be that nothing was black or white, that which is so far from what I expected to IVF didn't have to be the end of be that I am surprised every day when breastfeeding, and that I could I wake and find myself bedsharing, relactate if I wanted. I felt excited, breastfeeding a toddler, liberated and revitalised. And so and baby led weaning. But I have also began my journey towards being the forgotten what I thought life would be kind of mother I aspired to be. Armed like when I was visualising my baby with my borrowed copy of The during all those tough years. Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and my new LLL membership I went home, Where are we now? Well Elise is 14 and I've never looked back. months, still breastfeeding (a lot), but I've been back at work for a month. My breastfeeding increased so Elise's Thanks to LLL I'm expressing twice a reflux improved, and I started day for her to have comfort at nursery. babywearing more which also improved her reflux. So we both started to enjoy life and each other’s company. All the scary prescriptive I felt excited, liberated baby books were binned and replaced with Sweet Sleep and other books from the LLL library. and revitalised…

Page 6 www.laleche.org.uk result that whatever the outcome I will As an HR manager I have not have any regrets – except for perhaps not attending LLL from the introduced my company to late stages of pregnancy!! supporting lactating mums…

As an HR manager I have introduced my company to supporting lactating mums and have established a policy and room all within the supporting arms of my wonderful LLL friends who have shown unwavering belief that we can swim against the tide and be the mummies of our dreams.

Life is full of surprises and as I embark on my journey to create my miracle baby #2, I will do it without compromising my first baby. And I can be sure as a

League Family Camp (LFC) 2016

LFC is open to all LLL members and their families This year is the 20th anniversary of LFC and every year has seen new families come along. The emphasis at camp is open-mindedness, mutual support, relaxation and fun! As well as sharing the experience of outdoor life (and the weather!) LFC offers the opportunity for campers to discuss a wide variety of issues including breastfeeding, family relationships, education and more.

John’s Lee Wood in Leicestershire Wednesday 3rd August – Friday 12th August 2016

Further information/To book; Rhiannon Carmichael 01633 892505 [email protected]

Places are limited. LFC is a camping club for LLL members. You need to be a current member of LLLGB at the time of paying. Payment secures your booking. LFC is not legally affiliated to LLL and discussions at camps may not always reflect LLL’s views

The site is in a large woodland area with the following facilities: • Toilet and shower block within easy walking distance • Small kitchen • Cabin for craft and wet weather activities • Open fires • Sport activities on site: archery, climbing, abseiling • Plenty to do in the local area Helpline 0845 120 2918 Page 7 BBrreeaassttffeeeeddiinngg aanndd ffaammiillyy

Emma Da Costa LLL Cambridge

Emma reflects on her family background and how the experience of those close to us can affect our own attitudes to breastfeeding.

Photos courtesy of Emma Da Costa

Page 8 www.laleche.org.uk I always knew I would breastfeed. I’ve seen and heard this statement many …without witnessing breastfeeding times in the breastfeeding stories seen here and online in blogs. I really much I still knew it was special, did believe I would feed my baby this way. I can’t speak for what influenced natural and definitely not other women, but I have thought a lot about why I automatically assumed that breastfeeding was the best option something to hide away. for my baby and me. I have since realised that my family have Cambridge LLL leaders Mary and everything to do with it, and since Rachel who were so welcoming, and having Dexter in January 2013 I now I love being part of LLL with haven’t stopped delving into my Dexter. Being around nursing mothers breastfeeding family past. has been so important in our journey, and the friends we have made I hope My mam breastfed me until I was just are friends for life. over one. She always talked about breastfeeding me in a way that shows Over the last three years I find myself she was following her instincts at a talking about breastfeeding all the time when formula was the preferred time. I follow blogs and campaigns and presumed method of feeding. At and of course read Breastfeeding the age of just 17 my Mam chose to Matters! I never knew it could become breastfeed me and was the only one such a huge part of my life as well as on the maternity ward to do so. She a huge part of my day. recalls how when she would breastfeed me at my Grandparent’s Talking to my family now that I have house my Granddad would come over my own nursling I realise how and stroke my bald little head. These supportive they are and I am so stories and treasured moments have grateful for that. My Grandma was been so important to me – without unable to breastfeed after two births witnessing breastfeeding much I still with medical intervention, each baby knew it was special, natural and then being taken to the nursery and definitely not something to hide away. breastfeeding not being discussed or sometimes even allowed. To this day With Dexter I started my own she talks with sadness of her wish to breastfeeding journey, and it started breastfeed her sons. really well. My wife Sally was a fantastic birthing coach and also a From the way she talks about the great support in those early weeks maternity care in the 1960’s women when we were all adjusting. When my were often treated appallingly in milk came in I felt so huge and hospital. My Grandma received her engorged; I felt awkward and as if I antenatal care in Australia where they couldn’t see Dexter’s latch to check if lived for a few years, and was hopeful it was right. I’m not sure how many for a natural birth, had been practising times I asked Sally to check if it breathing exercises and really wanted looked right! Dexter actually had a to breastfeed. They returned to lovely latch and an impressively long Newcastle to have their family where tongue, but I still sought out a the maternity care was quite a shock breastfeeding drop-in to talk to the to her. After a traumatic birth my experts and meet other mums. I met Grandma’s first son was not brought

Helpline 0845 120 2918 Page 9 the corruption of big name formula companies elsewhere in the world, and so obviously applauded breastfeeding as the superior food. The whole family has shared their beds with their children, talking about it as the most natural thing in the world.

They’re a lovely bunch – really putting the children at the centre of the family, right where they should be.

Finding out about my family’s breastfeeding history shows me that it wasn’t just a coincidence that I thought I would breastfeed. I have been influenced, not necessarily by campaign posters in doctor’s offices, antenatal classes and midwives, back to her for three days as although all of these have helped me. apparently he was traumatised, and being away from his mother was the Breastfeeding as a natural and best thing for him! beautiful bond between mother and child has seeped down through good Women’s were bound and the old family nattering on a Sunday infection rate because of this was so afternoon over a cuppa. high. My Grandma recalls that her sister had her first daughter at the I can only hope that being around hospital and the following three breastfeeding mothers and talking children at home after such an awful about our own journey can help time with doctors and midwives. I embed the message into my future personally think our maternity family about how wonderful and services still have a long way to go in important breastfeeding truly is. supporting instinctive birthing and breastfeeding, but hearing these stories I realise we have also come a long way.

It turns out my Grandad’s sister breastfed all four of her children until they were about two, and talked about that time in her life as so special and rewarding. Even though my Mam’s mam didn’t breastfeed her twins she was quick to teach her children about

Human milk is the natural food for babies, uniquely meeting their changing needs. (One of the ten LLL philosophy statements)

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Tessa Clark LLL Oxford

Boobs, baps, ribbons and wraps Toddlers running and babies in laps Leaders listening and mother tears Supporting breastfeeding, for 45 years

Here is the place we now call home Learning to listen and never alone There's laughter and cake And many a cuddle Toddlers nursing and mums in a muddle Learning to trust the voice within Amongst so many, the adopted kin

The love we feel, and the wisdom we earn Through generations, we continue to learn Breastfeeding mothers, surviving fatigue United in love, for La Leche League

Helpline 0845 120 2918 Page 11

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Elizabeth Pole LLL Rochester

Elizabeth’s nursing relationship with her second child had much fewer troubles than first time round, but here she tells us about their first proper roadblock, with a worrying nursing strike.

Breastfeeding my second daughter, she couldn’t breathe well enough. It Rosa, had mostly been a breeze. First was hard work getting her to sleep time around I had suffered with without her usual feed: lots of patting soreness, and an abscess and rubbing her back through lots of which eventually required surgery, so tears. That night, every time she woke it was certainly a relief to have a up, she still wouldn’t feed and it took trouble-free breastfeeding relationship about half an hour to settle her back this time around. to sleep each time. refusal continued the following day. As a One thing that was fascinating to me breastfeeding peer supporter, I was was how different Rosa was to my aware of nursing strikes and was first daughter. She generally seemed pretty sure things would return to less reliant on breastfeeding to meet normal in a day or two, so I pumped her needs, and fed less often. By nine the milk to relieve my breasts and months she was really getting into her maintain my supply. solid food and eating vast amounts, but would still breastfeed about four But Rosa continued to refuse to feed times during the day plus overnight as and I started to think the behaviour needed. was teething related, as she didn’t seem to be having trouble breathing One Sunday afternoon, when Rosa through her nose. Sometimes she was nearly eleven months, I offered went to latch on instinctively, but then her usual feed, but she struggled and pulled away as if she didn’t know pulled off. I thought she was just busy what to do. In the meantime, she ate and distracted (we had friends over), extra food to make up for her lack of but later at bedtime, it was like she milk. After another two days of this, I just couldn’t latch on and got very began to worry more, as in my upset. I thought perhaps it was experience, nursing strikes usually because her nose was a bit stuffy and only last a couple of days.

Page 12 www.laleche.org.uk Some people suggested she may be self-weaning at a young age, but I couldn’t believe this was true as it had happened so suddenly and she’d Pole of Elizabeth Photos courtesy been so upset, especially at night when a breastfeed was usually such a comfort.

I tried painkillers and teething gels to no avail. Thankfully, on the Wednesday night and Thursday night she did take a feed at about 10.30pm as she was rousing from a sleep cycle but the rest of the time she just kept biting when I offered her the breast. It wasn’t fun, but I was relieved she was gave me emotional support, at least having one breastfeed as she understanding, and encouragement to wasn’t taking much expressed milk (a keep on doing what I was doing. few sips here and there and in her porridge). She continued to refuse In fact, a week after the strike had all other feeds and I started feeling begun and an hour after I had spoken pretty low. to the , Rosa was having a fuss, but then breastfed! And I was struggling to express much as again before bed that night! Over the my supply dipped, and was fed up following few days, nursing gradually with being bitten. I began to wonder if resumed to normal, although I was still perhaps our breastfeeding relationship getting bitten quite frequently during really was nearing the end, or if she’d the feeds. My best guess is that the just continue having one night feed. I whole thing was teething-related, really felt grief and as if I was losing although now, over a month after this my baby (who is to be my last) too episode began, no new teeth have soon. Not at all what I expected after appeared. So I guess I’ll never know. feeding my first daughter for over three years! Thankfully, the biting has passed, and as Rosa is nearing her first birthday I have a couple of close breastfeeding and becoming more adventurous friends who were a great support and I physically, she seems to be finding was grateful to be able to discuss my more comfort than ever in feelings with an LLL Leader and a breastfeeding. She is feeding more Lactation Consultant who works than four times a day at the moment locally (and who supervises the Peer so I think she will be breastfeeding for Supporting team I am part of). many months to come!

Whereas most friends and family who I’d mentioned the nursing strike to saw Editor’s note: There is an information sheet My baby it as no big deal, these two women won’t breastfeed available from the LLLGB Shop

Ideally the breastfeeding relationship will continue until the baby outgrows the need. (One of the ten LLL philosophy statements) Helpline 0845 120 2918 Page 13 MMiillkk aanndd ccooookkiieess iinn tthhee wweeee ssmmaallll hhoouurrss

Rachel Murray LLL Edinburgh

For Rachel, the support of her partner was crucial in keeping up her morale while she and her son established breastfeeding. Her story includes some of the really practical things that those around us can do to help. Photos courtesy of Rachel Murray

Page 14 www.laleche.org.uk Once the midwives arrived, the He latched on with ease and I atmosphere became increasingly tense as we waited for the placenta to be delivered. Our suggested fed him for what seemed like putting Finlay to the breast to help the process along and he latched on right all day and night for the next away and started feeding, amazing! But still no afterbirth. It was at this few days in hospital. point that I had to transfer to hospital with a retained placenta and postpartum haemorrhage. I was in As soon as I became pregnant I knew theatre for two and a half hours and I wanted to breastfeed. I also knew during this time I was adamant Finlay that many women encountered wouldn’t be fed formula despite our problems with breastfeeding and that midwife suggesting he might need it. without proper support and advice, a Callum and our doula managed to high number of these women distract our hours-old baby this whole reluctantly turned to bottle feeding in time by singing to him and rocking the first few weeks or months. For him even though it was quite clear all every problem there seemed to be a he wanted and needed was milk! product marketed at breastfeeding women – nipple creams, pads, On coming round from the general pumps, shields and shawls. I couldn’t anaesthetic and being told that help but wonder if all this stuff was everything had gone okay, I got to necessary or just another effort to add feed and hold my baby. He latched on to the never-ending shopping list of maternal ‘must-haves’.

So I was relieved when a friend from Columbia told me that breastfeeding was the norm where she came from, and that the women she knew at home who breastfed did it without much of a fuss. They didn’t have workshops teaching them how to breastfeed or lotions and potions to apply to their nipples. Having read Ina May Gaskin it seemed part of the reason for this was less intervention during and immediately after . So armed with this information I told myself that as long as I had a positive attitude and I got the natural homebirth I was planning, I would be capable of breastfeeding.

After a relatively easy but very quick homebirth (with only my husband, Callum, present to deliver our baby boy Finlay!) my body went into shock. Photo courtesy of Daisy Dinwoodie o with ease and I fed him for what feed. It was seemed like all day and night for the at this point

next few days in hospital. I was bed Photo courtesy that the bound and feeling sore. With spirits lotions and low, I tried to make sense of the potions that I rollercoaster birth. But between my was once amazing husband and the midwives, sceptical of every time my baby cried for milk, provided someone passed him to me and I fed some much him until his eyelids got heavy and he needed fell asleep on my chest. I fed him relief! while I was out of it on painkillers; I fed him with one arm while I fed Then my myself with the other; I fed him while milk came in. having a blood transfusion. I had so I had little sleep during those first few nights previously that I didn’t even feel tired – just wondered wired. In a plan designed to help me how I would get a couple of hours of sleep during know when the night, the midwife suggested I this was express some milk for Callum to feed happening, but there was no our baby. I had no idea how to hand mistaking this: my breasts ballooned express and so the midwife did it for over double in size – and the pain! me. What a picture – me, sitting on Veiny and engorged, they really felt the bed naked from the waist up while like they might explode. I spoke to our the midwife milked colostrum from my visiting midwife and on her advice I breasts into small syringes as Callum tried expressing, savoy cabbage looked on – a moment I won’t forget in leaves, hot and cold wash cloths and a hurry! massage. After a couple of very uncomfortable days the swelling went We were discharged from hospital on down. Now I only had slight nipple Christmas morning and it was great to pain which I could deal with. But I was be home but we missed the support still feeling emotionally and physically that we received at the hospital. As I fragile after the birth and the constant was still feeling fragile after the birth, breastfeeding was making me feel Callum stepped up and did everything permanently attached to Finlay. He around the house, cooked all our was feeding as often as every hour meals and changed the baby so I and I felt the pressure every time he could just concentrate on feeding him. cried for milk. Callum and I discussed He was three weeks old before I expressing but I was concerned about changed my first nappy! Finlay was nipple confusion from using a bottle still feeding well (and very regularly) teat so we decided to hold off until but I had initial nipple pain each time breastfeeding was well established. he latched on and I just had to grit my teeth for the first minute or so of each Three weeks in and just when things were starting to settle down, I woke up one morning feeling a bit under the He was three weeks old before weather. Callum accidentally tapped my boob and I burst out crying! The I changed my first nappy! area was so tender and I felt feverish.

Page 16 www.laleche.org.uk need to be in terms of attitudes breastfeeding should be seen as a towards breastfeeding. Even when there is support for breastfeeding, normal, everyday thing. advertising of cover ups (the terrible possibility of someone seeing a bit of flesh!) and all the talk of As the morning went on I felt worse breastfeeding ‘discreetly’, reinforces with flu-like symptoms and then the fact that on the whole noticed a small red patch on my breastfeeding is more tolerated than breast. On the advice of the midwife embraced by society. I reluctantly went into hospital where I was given antibiotics for mastitis. I came across La Leche League and Back at home, I was now wondering found it was a great support for why I was putting myself through all talking about these bigger issues as this. ‘Don’t make the decision to well as the day to day experience of give up on a bad day’ was the breastfeeding. I started going to my advice my mum gave me and local meetings and following the although it was hard to hear at the online community. I continue to be time, it turned out to be the best amazed by the number of clued up thing I could have done. responses to any question posed on my local group’s Facebook group, Within a week or so the mastitis was day or night. gone, Finlay was able to go for longer periods between feeds and I Now Finlay is four months old and I was starting to feel a lot better about can honestly say that I love feeding things. Some nights I would wake him. I love the close contact it gives up to feed him with a grumbling us. I love the time out it forces me to stomach and an unquenchable thirst have when I’m always on the go. I and Callum would get up and bring love the look on his tiny face as he me a glass of milk and a cookie. delights in feeding and he looks up The perfect snack! at me with his milky smile! I love knowing that my milk is the only This was the start of my positive food in the entire world designed breastfeeding journey. It was four just for him; its composition weeks since he was born and I felt changing day and night, week to ready to get out and about on my week, increasing in antibodies when own. I felt confident about feeding in he’s ill and increasing in calories public and it was important to me during a growth spurt. that breastfeeding should be seen as a normal, everyday thing. I was Thinking back on those first few almost willing someone to give me a weeks I don’t think I would have disapproving look so I could give managed it without the support of them a piece of my feminist mind! my husband, Callum. I know some But they didn’t. Unfortunately, I partners can feel left out when a know it’s not this way for everyone, woman is breastfeeding, but there’s as Hollie McNish’s gritty poem a list of things as long as your arm “Embarrassed” attests to. I feel that a partner can do to support a lucky to live in a breastfeeding- breastfeeding woman. So partners friendly city but it also made me listen up! Words of encouragement, realise that we’re far from where we milk and cookies in the wee small

Helpline 0845 120 2918 Page 17 hours, suggesting a different position if the latch isn’t quite right and taking on the role of chief nappy changer make the world of difference. Most of all just letting it be known that you’re there when things seem impossible, could be the make or break for breastfeeding. So in the end, it definitely wasn’t plain sailing. Callum and I worked our way through a few tough weeks learning to feed our baby, but now we’re reaping the rewards. I feel a great sense of achievement when I look at his Photo courtesy of Daisy Dinwoodie chubby wee legs and I look forward to many more months of feeding him.

Alert and active participation by the mother in childbirth is a help in getting breastfeeding off to a good start. (One of the ten LLL philosophy statements)

Hਮਸ਼ Tਮ Gਤਲ਼ Hਤਫਯ

www.laleche.org.uk is the quickest way to access the most up to date breastfeeding support. Read the many leaflets and articles available on a wide range of topics, or fill in a Helpform for one to one email support. Quickly find your local group to access the range of support available in your area.

0845 120 2918 is the number to call to speak with a La Leche League Leader.

LLLGB because Breastfeeding Matters is our page on Facebook full of links and articles as well as the support of Leaders and other mothers.

Twitter@LLLGB is the way to keep up with all that LLLGB is doing right now.

LLLGB is proud to announce and welcome our newest Leaders

Karen Hill—LLL Stoke Newington Anita Mackenzie Mills—LLL Fife and Tayside Sophie Burrows—LLL West Sussex Catherine Fletcher—LLL Norwich

Page 18 www.laleche.org.uk BBrreeaassttffeeeeddiinngg BBrruuccee LLeeee

Karem Roitman LLL Oxford

2.30am My toddler’s little head pops up like an alarm has gone off. I instinctively try to pull him to my breast. ‘Noooo!’ he screams. I squint, trying to lift heavy eyelids, and see him sitting up, pointing at the door. ‘There! There!’, he yells. As I don’t respond quickly enough, he prepares to get off the bed. I reach out a leg to contain him, thinking I will just pull him back to the sleepy warmth of my breasts… but he starts climbing my leg like an obstacle course. I lift it higher to increase the barrier; he changes his technique and swings under it to slip to the floor. I reach down and grab him, he buckles with such force that I cannot keep my grasp: he spins 180º and lands tummy first on the cot bed attached to my bed. Without wasting a second he bounces right up and, taking desperate measures, tries to leap head first over the railings. I grab his bouncy little legs and for a second he is dangling by a foot. I gently hug him back to my chest, trying to soothe him, but he shrieks and pushes ferociously down my chest.

2.32am I am suddenly aware that his screams will wake up his older brother, so I let Bruce Lee go and wait to see if he calms down. He takes the break as an opportunity to jump off the bed, landing with a soft thud on perfectly bent legs – a natural martial artist. I get up as fast as my sleep-deprived, middle-aged body lets me. He looks back at me with a quick smile and runs away. I run after him, only half awake, hair covering most of my face and vision. Out of habit I grab a breast – as though I can latch a moving target – and hold it out to my running child, screaming in a begging whisper: ‘Here, heeere! Have some milkies, come back, milkies, sleeeep!’.

He laughs as he turns to the stairs, barely missing the corner of the dresser with his head. I get to the stairs just as he sees an insurmountable obstacle: the stair gate is closed! He lets out a blood-curling howl that wakes his . A second hairy, middle-aged body runs out screaming: ‘Here son! I’m here, here! What’s wrong?! What happened?’. The two-year-old velociraptor chooses a new target and leaps screaming into his father’s arms: ‘daaddyyyyy!!’. My husband and I face each other, my hands still holding out a boob. We look like two deranged zombies. Mini-Bruce Lee clings onto his dad’s chest like a spider monkey.

2.35am I drop my boob. My husband looks confused. He goes for a pee with monkey-boy as a very appreciative audience. I head back to bed.

Helpline 0845 120 2918 Page 19

2.45am After a quick walk around the dark house with his dad, little Superman decides it is indeed dark and boring and he will cuddle next to me. The next two hours entail: suckle, suckle, suckle, turn around and do press ups, and…repeat. It’s an exercise session in the middle of the night. I try to sleep in between his demands for alternating boobies – left, right, left, right… ‘Other milkie!’. A few verses of ‘twinkle, twinkle’ round off the show. I am now fully awake. I write this to pass the time.

4.45am The little man asks one last time for ‘milkie’ and falls asleep. I am awake. I will be more incoherent than usual tomorrow. And a bit grumpier. And someday I will tell him about his sprints in the middle of the night when my boobies could not lure him back into bed. But now I kiss his tiny nose and relax into his warmth to get some sleep. Good night, my little action hero.

From infancy on, children need loving guidance which reflects acceptance of their capabilities and sensitivity to their feelings. (One of the ten LLL philosophy statements)

B LLLGB!

The information and support that LLL Leaders offer are free of charge but getting the information to mothers costs money!

By becoming a member you help us to:- ioperate our 24/7 National Helpline iproduce leaflets and information sheets iprepare new Leaders istart new groups

As a member you will receive this printed members' magazine Breastfeeding Matters

An annual membership cost only £30 for 12 months (£18 for an unwaged family) Or £2.50 a month (with pdf of Breastfeeding Matters)

Join online at www.laleche.org.uk/content/join-us

or ask your local LLL Leader for a membership form Page 20 www.laleche.org.uk Photos courtesy of Sarah Jales of Sarah Jales Photos courtesy LLeeaarrnniinngg aanndd lliisstteenniinngg Sarah Jales LLL Farnham

Sarah had some breastfeeding challenges with her son, but they helped her get to know her baby and feel confident in her ability to respond to his needs.

The main breastfeeding challenge Timmy and I faced was my oversupply and his resulting nursing strike. Only, I had no idea that oversupply was even possible and had never heard of nursing strikes. I think I had always had a lot of milk, and a forceful let-down, but at about three months Timmy eventually decided this was NOT OK.

I think I also thought I should be swapping breasts each feed and maybe he was feeding quite frequently, and not draining each breast. The time he most wanted to feed was to fall asleep but he would find my let-down so overwhelming that he'd pull off arching his back and crying. And he'd cry and cry until I'd rocked him enough to sleep to feed. I had no idea it was my let-down causing it, I just knew he was hungry but then didn't want me. It felt awful. I felt useless, like I was failing as his mother.

Phil, my husband, was so patient. I remember calling him in flood of tears when he was at work because my breasts were so painfully full, and Timmy clearly wanted to feed but wouldn't, and he was crying, and my back was hurting from rocking him. Phil came home. But I also was finding going out and about with Timmy worse than when he was a newborn. If he needed a feed I knew he would cry and cry till I'd rocked him to sleep, it was really stressful. People said 'have you thought about giving him a bottle?’ and that made me want to cry. I felt sure that if I even tried that I would see he was happy and that would break my heart. I knew that there must be a solution, that this couldn't be normal and someone must be able to help.

Helpline 0845 120 2918 Page 21 On the Wednesday I went to the NHS breastfeeding drop-in run by a lady I knew I could trust, who had helped with latch in the early weeks. But the clinic was packed with tiny babies needing tongue-tie snips. Timmy seemed like a giant in comparison to these tiny vulnerable babies. Eventually he decided he needed a feed. I tried. I failed. He cried so I took him home without being seen. I waited for the weigh-in clinic the following Tuesday and spoke to the health visitors. They said he was gaining weight REALLY well so there wasn't a feeding issue as you can't overfeed a breastfed baby.

I decided to go along to the NCT breastfeeding drop-in on the Wednesday. On the Wednesday morning I got a notification to say that the woman who normally ran it was on holiday so the group was cancelled. I felt so disappointed. I sat, in tears and called though every number on my list of breastfeeding helplines, but I didn't get through to anyone. I hadn't heard spent with what felt like all day lying in of La Leche League before so I looked the dark in my bedroom feeding them up – they did meetings too, and Timmy (often after he had been rocked the next one was the following Monday to sleep) but I needed to try. I wasn't in Farnham so I decided to go along to sure I was block feeding right – would I that. But I also noticed they had a end up with not enough milk? I wanted book, so I got that on the Kindle and to chat to my family who I don't see when Timmy was asleep I started very much and here I was lying by reading. And I basically didn't stop till myself in the dark. Even my pro- I'd read the whole thing. It was breastfeeding mother said 'well I guess AMAZING. I had oversupply and if he wasn't your only child you would Timmy was on a nursing strike. I knew have no option but to give him a now that I could try block feeding and bottle', and I felt so sad. Friday that feeding lying down might help. morning and again, he would only feed Timmy hadn't done the reading – he lying down in bed – I did try downstairs was still on nursing strike. - and I thought, I wonder if they have La Leche League meetings in That evening we headed up to my Yorkshire too. They did. There was a in Yorkshire. Thursday was meeting starting right now 20 minutes down the road.

…she gave me the confidence to I don't think I have ever got out of the believe in myself and Timmy. house so quickly. My mum was going

Page 22 www.laleche.org.uk In a way I feel the strike was Timmy’s way of getting me to slow down… to Ilkley shopping anyway so we got the train there together and she dropped me at the door to the meeting. I was greeted by a lady with a friendly smile, who turned out to be LLL Leader Becky Bowers, who said that was. I think Phil had some idea, 'Hello! How are you two?' I but he hadn't seen how anxious I was responded by bursting into tears and about going out of the house until muttering 'not good'. Becky was that morning when I had nearly wonderful. She listened, and gave refused to go see the race as I me the reassurance that things would wouldn't be able to feed Timmy. get better, and that Timmy would again one day enjoy nursing. She It was a slow process completely mentioned lots of helpful ideas but getting over the strike. I found and mainly she gave me the confidence continued to go to LLL Farnham, it to believe in myself and Timmy. I was the only place I felt comfortable remember thinking 'what an amazing going to, to challenge myself to feed woman, I would love to give others Timmy sitting up and out and about. the confidence she has given me'. The rest of the time we spent a lot of And that was my first LLL meeting. days inside in bed lying down. It gave me plenty of time to do reading, and And the next day, Timmy had his first thanks to LLL, I'd found lots of sitting up feed sat in the middle of a interesting books to read, about roundabout surrounded by hundreds babywearing, and weaning, and of people with helicopters flying Carlos Gonzalez and about how to overhead whilst the 'Tour de France' talk. In a way I feel the strike was cycled past just metres away. I was Timmy’s way of getting me to slow so happy that I felt like crying. No- down, prioritise him and learn to get one understood what a huge relief to know him and myself. I certainly feel I came out the other side quite a different mother, and with quite a different looking future ahead.

Timmy needed me and I knew that I wanted to respect that and not leave him to go back to work. I felt like I had found myself and that I was happy.

Editor’s note: The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, 8th Edition, is available to purchase from the LLLGB Shop. For more information about oversupply, visit www.laleche.org.uk

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Photo courtesy of Laurice O’Sullivan

Laurice O’Sullivan LLL South East London

Laurice was worried about breastfeeding, but in reality she and her daughter worked out their path, helped along the way by support from LLL.

I had only seen two women breastfeed prior to having my daughter: my godmother when I was about seven and my friend who had given birth recently. No-one in my family in recent memory had breastfed and I was told by my mother about how difficult trying to breastfeed me had been. In addition, I had 'flat' nipples and was worried about whether I was anatomically flawed and would find breastfeeding hard. However, I was determined to breastfeed and refused offers of bottles and 'just in case' purchases of formula.

I read books on breastfeeding and made contact with my local LLL group prior to my daughter's birth. I was reassured that my body was designed to give birth and breastfeed. After many hours of labouring at home during my planned home birth, I transferred to hospital and my daughter came shortly after we got there.

According to my birth notes she fed twice in the time immediately after birth, however she was latched on and off by the midwives and was removed from my breast while I had stitches. I was unaware of how deeply she would sleep after these short feeds and had I been less tired and more alert after the birth I would not have allowed her feeds to have been stopped. I left the hospital with a syringe feeding kit as I was struggling to latch her on.

Page 24 www.laleche.org.uk Luckily this topic had been covered the science behind the process and in an LLL antenatal meeting and I to defend my choice; ignoring the was confident in hand expressing comments of 'she can't be hungry and collecting the colostrum to drop again!' – very tiring when you have feed until I figured out how to get just had a baby. Aside from the time my daughter to latch. required, getting breastfeeding started was otherwise uneventful – The first night at home felt very this was not what I had expected! long! The tiredness and collecting the colostrum felt never ending. It Four and a half months on, I am still seemed as though no matter how I exclusively breastfeeding and my positioned my daughter, my nipple partner is a breastfeeding convert and my breast, they never worked and jokingly refers to himself as a together. In the back of my mind I 'lactivist'. He is astounded at how started to worry that my daughter our child has grown so well purely might not be getting enough milk on breastmilk and marvels at how and wondered with my partner our bodies are in tune with one whether we should buy formula. another. I breastfeed anywhere and Luckily help arrived from both my everywhere and love the freedom community midwife and my local breastfeeding provides me with. I LLL Leader. My midwife helped me plan to feed until my daughter self- get to grips with the football hold weans, which is not something I and Maria encouraged me to lie anticipated saying when I was back and breastfeed. This position pregnant. saved my sanity and allowed me to sleep during those first few weeks. For me, the anxiety I had around breastfeeding did not match up with As time progressed I became better the reality and I now wonder why I at positioning my daughter, and my spent so much time worrying! repertoire of holds increased. Whilst However, I do know that without I was aware of how time-consuming LLL, I would have found it much breastfeeding is in the first few more difficult to start and keep on weeks, other family members breastfeeding as the support and weren't and I wish I had been firmer knowledge I needed was not with visitors and in relation to available within my immediate people’s expectations of what I support network. LLL's work is so would be able to do. As my family important and has the potential to had never really been around dramatically influence the future someone breastfeeding, I found of so many babies – keep up the myself having to educate them on good work!

Mother and baby need to be together early and often to establish a satisfying relationship and an adequate milk supply. (One of the ten LLL philosophy statements) Helpline 0845 120 2918 Page 25

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Mary Ann Kerwin LLL Founding Mother

La Leche League was founded in the US by seven mothers. It took a while to reach Great Britain, but here , one of those original seven mothers, writes about her part in our history here, as we became the LLLGB that you know today.

My heartfelt congratulations and very best wishes to La Leche League of Great Britain upon the celebration of your 45th anniversary! It is with great joy that I join with you in celebrating this landmark. I have had a special place in my heart for LLLGB ever since I was invited in 1980 to help resolve some problems that had developed over time. Working together we brought about a wonderful outcome!

In 1980, I was chairing the Board of Directors of La Leche League International. We became aware that there was widespread discontent in LLLGB. Although the Leaders fully supported La Leche League philosophy as summarized in the concepts and the Statement of Policy and Bylaws of LLLI, they believed they needed more structural autonomy. Among other things, communication with LLLI was a huge hurdle. At that time, letters were the primary means of communication and mail from one country to another generally took at least ten days. Telephone calls were extremely rare. Email was nonexistent. Thus many Leaders felt very frustrated and some Leaders were seriously considering starting a separate autonomous breastfeeding organisation.

Accordingly I asked the LLLGB Leaders to please refrain from making a decision until we could discuss this in person. With the full support of the Board of Directors of LLLI and the Executive Director (at that time co- founder Betty Wagner), I offered to meet with as many LLLGB Leaders as possible and to do so as quickly as possible. By the time I arrived in May 1980, plans already were in place to have me meet with small groups of Leaders in London, Cambridge, Durham, and Birmingham to be followed by a final large gathering in a hall in Birmingham. Various Leaders cordially

Page 26 www.laleche.org.uk hosted me in their homes and accompanied me as we travelled on trains from place to place.

Forty-two Leaders participated in the final meeting in Birmingham. During that meeting, each person there summarised her concerns. Eventually a consensus was reached. LLLGB must have more autonomy with regard to its structure as well as greatly improved communication with LLLI.

Following my return to the USA, I shared the consensus with the members of the LLLI Board. Shortly thereafter, the Board members voted to look into establishing a Pilot Program that would grant LLLGB more structural autonomy. A committee was set up under the chairmanship of Judy Sanders who at that time was chairing our Program Services Committee.

Judy immediately proceeded to work closely and diligently with members of a working party formed by LLLGB that included Nancy Turnbull, Lorna Pratt, Catherine Browne, and Christine Blissett. During my visit to Great Britain, I had communicated closely with each of them. All worked tirelessly. The working party soon proposed a structure that would best meet the needs of running LLLGB and submitted it to the LLLGB Leaders for a vote. By October 2 1980, the ballots were all in and tabulated. The Leaders of Great Britain had voted to authorise the implementation of the Pilot Program! There were 42 "yes" votes and only one "no" vote.

Shortly thereafter, the LLLI Board voted to approve the implementation of a Pilot Program for La Leche League of Great Britain that would maintain close links with LLLI but have almost complete procedural structural autonomy within Great Britain. Subsequently this became a prototype for many other areas that also were seeking more structural autonomy.

In addition to the members of the working group, there were many other remarkable LLLGB Leaders whom I have not mentioned by name who helped bring about this wonderful outcome. I hesitate to try to mention each one by name since there were so many. Nevertheless I will be forever grateful to each and every Leader who helped save LLLGB at that critical time.

I would like to mention, however, that a delightful outcome for me has been that throughout the many years that now have become decades Nancy Turnbull and I have kept in touch. I greatly cherish our enduring friendship. I also have enjoyed getting to know Nancy's husband, Richard, who at times has been able to get together with us and always provided strong support for Nancy's efforts to sustain LLLGB.

Helpline 0845 120 2918 Page 27

As I conclude, I would like to share with you one of my Mother's favourite quotations that you undoubtedly will recognize as coming from Shakespeare’s As You Like It:

"Sweet are the uses of adversity."

This now is one of my favourites also. In Photo courtesy of Nancy Turnbull retrospect, I will be forever grateful that my efforts to deal with adversity brought me such rich, multiple, and lasting rewards—and also greatly enriched and enhanced La Leche League International as well as La Leche League of Great Britain.

Accordingly I wholeheartedly join with all in La Leche League of Great Britain in the celebration of your 45th anniversary—and send you my heartfelt congratulations!!! May LLLGB live forever!

Page 28 www.laleche.org.uk Good nutrition means eating a well-balanced and varied diet of foods in as close to their natural state as possible A series discussing the LLL philosophy concepts

This article is part of a series discussing the LLL philosophy concepts. You may be aware that there are ten concepts underlying what LLL does. As Leaders, we sign up to these, and they help to shape our responses, the way we run meetings, and the type of information that we provide. This issue, we look more closely at “Good nutrition means eating a well-balanced and varied diet of foods in as close to their natural state as possible.” Photo courtesy of Elizabeth Pole

Hang on, I thought LLL was all about mothering through breastfeeding… what has my dinner got to do with that? Mothering through breastfeeding is definitely what LLL is all about. We also have a concept about the qualities of human milk, so it makes sense that we should be thinking about the quality of what we eat when thinking about milk production and beyond.

So, are you saying that my milk is only of good quality if I eat organic, raw food? Not at all. LLL understands that each family does its very best when it comes to any aspect of parenting, including decisions around food.You don’t need to eat anything special to make exactly the right breastmilk for your baby. When a mother first discovers she is pregnant, it is a very common feeling for her to start to become very aware of what she eating and drinking. For the first time in her life she has a visceral feeling of meeting not just her own needs. It is also very common that along with this feeling, she may start to rethink her choices around nutrition. This is natural and understandable. Her body is providing nutrition for her baby in the womb and preparing itself to continue that sustenance for the baby via her milk.

By eating foods close to their natural state, she can easily know what she is consuming. It’s a quick way for her to feel confident about what she is providing for herself and her baby. Good nutrition need not mean complicated, fancy or expensive meals – on the contrary, it can mean simple food which is swift to prepare.

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OK, so now I feel bad about buying oven chips. Oven chips can be great: reading the ingredients, many brands will say potato and sunflower oil, no added sugars of any sort or chemicals. This concept has the word ‘varied’ in it to indicate that perhaps only oven chips for every meal may not be the best thing for any of us!

On stress days, many of us supplement meals with shop bought carbohydrates like chips, bread and pasta. Balancing these quick carbs with vegetables in as close to their natural state as possible means a pretty instant meat, yet one where we know all the ingredients.

Ah, so I should be vegetarian. I can’t do that. Neither should you! We get such a heightened understanding of our body and its needs during pregnancy and breastfeeding, that it is great to take advantage of that understanding to work out what kinds of proteins our individual bodies need. For some it will have to be red meat, for others white meat or fish. For many others it will be plant-based proteins, of which there are so many available easily. What a great time to explore what works and stock up on, for easy access? Many of us have freezers which can be used very efficiently with just the smallest bit of planning.

Well… it’s more than oven chips. I basically survive on ready meals because my baby feeds all the time and I’m too exhausted to cook. Does this mean I am a bad mother? The LLL philosophy is not a badge of good mothering. It is made up of concepts, ideas, of what we consider when thinking of all the aspects around mothering through breastfeeding. Nearly every library in every LLL group around the world will have a book with easy to prepare meal ideas. We have recipes in many of our other publications too. There is nothing nicer than someone who knows what it is like to be in the midst of a new family, taking time out to share simple ideas for meals which actually don’t take that much longer to prepare than ready meals.

If we imagine a line, a continuum, somewhere along which each of us sits when thinking about nutrition, that line is this concept. Pregnancy often makes us aware of the line and then in the forthcoming months and years we move around that line, as we realise that nutrition doesn’t start and end with breastfeeding. As the family grows and changes, we may have dietary choices to consider, allergies perhaps or simply a new found interest in nutrition. Breastmilk is an incredible fluid – with a delivery system which comes with its own positive health implications for both mother and baby. By thinking of nutrition beyond breastmilk, we can ensure that all our family members continue to benefit from mothering through breastfeeding – even if breastfeeding ended many years ago.

Benaifer Bhandari

Page 30 www.laleche.org.uk

make a difference ... Photo Lois Rowlands

Shopping with LLLGB Books makes a difference.

Choosing to buy your breastfeeding and parenting books from our LLLGB Shop directly helps other mothers and babies.

All our profits go to support LLLGB’s charitable work. It’s money well spent!

For our full range of information leaflets and books on breastfeeding and parenting, visit:

lllgbbooks.co.uk

LLL Books Ltd, P O Box 29, West Bridgford, Nottingham, NG2 7NP Company No 1566925 Registered Charity No 283771 Helpline 0845 120 2918 Page 31

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The basic philosophy of La Leche League is summarised in the following statements:

Mothering through breastfeeding is the most natural and effective way of understanding and satisfying the needs of the baby.

Mother and baby need to be together early and often to establish a satisfying relationship and an adequate milk supply.

In the early years the baby has an intense need to be with his mother which is as basic as his need for food.

Human milk is the natural food for babies, uniquely meeting their changing needs.

For the healthy, full-term baby, breastmilk is the only food necessary until the baby shows signs of needing solids, about the middle of the first year after birth.

Ideally the breastfeeding relationship will continue until the baby outgrows the need.

Alert and active participation by the mother in childbirth is a help in getting breastfeeding off to a good start.

Breastfeeding is enhanced and the nursing couple sustained by the loving support, help, and companionship of the baby's father. A father's unique relationship with his baby is an important element in the child's development from early infancy.

Good nutrition means eating a well-balanced and varied diet of foods in as close to their natural state as possible.

From infancy on, children need loving guidance which reflects acceptance of their capabilities and sensitivity to their feelings.

The ideals and principles of mothering which are the foundation of LLL International beliefs are further developed in THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING 8th Edition

www.lllgbbooks.co.uk