Pesach in Florida by ZVI BORNSTEIN Twice in the Course of Two Ever Since the Jewish People Sarily a Trek That Takes Us Into Weeks, Israel–U.S

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$ See Page 91 1.00 WWW.5TJT.COM !jnau raf dj VOL. 10 NO. 26 11 NISSAN 5770 um ,arp MARCH 26, 2010

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Shidduch Crisis Barry Holzer, MD 18 Dates And Double Dates Hannah Reich Berman 34 MindBiz Esther Mann, LMSW 36 Passover 1945 Dr. Rafael Medoff 66 Four Sons Nison Gordon 69

One Israel Fund awards. See Page 80

“Baking Matzah” Original painting by Alex Levin, Israel. Additional works can be viewed at ArtLevin.com OBAMA-LIVNI FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK WHAT ARE YOU New principal COLLUSION B YLARRY GORDON DRINKING THIS of Bnot Shulamith. SUSPECTED See Page 69 PESACH? BY GIL RONEN Pesach In Florida BY ZVI BORNSTEIN Twice in the course of two Ever since the Jewish people sarily a trek that takes us into weeks, Israel–U.S. relations have packed up and hit the road for the desert (unless you are going My family’s tradition has been strained when Israeli that first Passover celebration to Arizona). For those on the always been to drink wines media published news of techni- on the way out of Egypt, we just move, the direction most often from the Holy Land for Pesach. cal approvals granted to building can’t seem to shake the habit. taken is south—and, in many After all, that is part of the story projects in eastern Jerusalem— Not that it’s a bad thing by any instances, to our beloved South of our redemption. However, up first in Ramat Shlomo and then stretch of the imagination, but Florida. until 15 years ago the choices at the Shepherd Hotel com- as we inch our way toward I’ve spent a good number of were really very limited. That pound. Both times, the leaks Pesach it is, for many, also time Pesachs in Florida, and I’ve was around the time that came out just as Prime Minister to break out the suitcases, just enjoyed every overheated Israelis discovered the joys of Marking 108th birthday of Binyamin Netanyahu was about as our ancestors did more than moment. Why do we so crave wine culture, and the quality of Lubavitcher Rebbe, zt’l. to meet one of the United States’ 3,000 years ago. Florida? What makes Miami Israeli wine improved. But it See Page 89 two most senior officials: Vice For Jews on the move at this Beach and shemurah matzah wasn’t until 10 years ago that the time of year, the movement is Continued on Page 13 not out of Egypt, nor is it neces- Continued on Page 12 Continued on Page 14 CANDLE LIGHTING March 26 – 6:55 PM March 29 – 6:58 PM March 30 – 8:05 PM* * or later 2 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 3 4 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 5 6 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 7 8 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 9 10 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 11 FROM THE EDITOR South Florida—and this includes and August. hotel for Pesach. Still, that would mean Continued from Front Cover many areas beyond Miami Beach—has I know it is starting to sound as though that somewhere between thirty- and become a home away from home for almost everyone in my cloistered world is sixty-thousand people are packing into such a dynamic combination? Well, you Jews from all over the world. It has going to Florida or some other vacation Pesach hotels in New York, Florida, would have to search all of our personal become so much of a bigger and better destination for Pesach, and that is clearly Arizona, California, New Jersey, the family histories for the appropriate Poconos, and a variety of other luxury insight. spots over the next week. Let’s place the relationship of the I know some people that have not Jewish people and South Florida in con- spent Pesach at home in more than 35 text. Simply stated, we have good reasons It’s not one of those American years. And I also know plenty of people for going there. Up here in New York, it’s who have never spent Pesach away from frequently damp and cold with even the their home and would not even consider possibility of snow at this time of year. In locations that temporarily sets up it. Each feels strongly about their position Florida, on the other hand, even though on the matter. Some used to say that there was a pretty tough winter this year, shop to make things user-friendly ensuring the stringencies of kashrus that you can rest assured that come Pesach it’s are central to a proper Pesach observance going to be all warmth and sunshine. is just not possible away from home, in a And warm and sunny on a festive holi- for observant Jews and is then just hotel preparing meals for a thousand peo- day like the upcoming one is always ple or more. preferable to cold, rainy, or snowy. But as quickly dismantled. But the kashrus systems and proce- our relationship with South Florida is not dures in all these hotels have been simply built on a tropical climate and a streamlined and perfected. Weeks prior nice getaway from the freezing tempera- to yom tov, the kashrus staff is down tures up north. It’s not one of those there scouring the kitchens, blowtorch- American locations that temporarily sets tourist draw that it is an almost twelve- not the case. I have informally concluded ing the ovens, and carefully checking and up shop to make things user-friendly for month-a-year place to take a vacation that only about 5 to 10 percent of the rechecking the thousands of pounds of observant Jews and is then just as quickly in, despite the exceedingly high temper- Orthodox Jewish population in the U.S. foodstuffs that will make the culinary dismantled. atures and elevated humidity in July makes the move into a usually pricey aspect of the chag fulfilling (or filling) and enjoyable. There are strict controls on what comes in and what goes out of those kitchens. These days it’s not unlike your own home. Still, while Pesach at home costs a great deal of money, going to a hotel costs many times more. Many of those who have the material wherewithal to enjoy this type of indulgence see no reason not to pack up and move into a hotel for the chag. This year, as was the case last year, perhaps the best buys for Pesach away from home are in Israel, where you can find nice hotels to accommodate you for a little more than $1,000 per person. Add air- fare to that—and figure in the fact that you are in Eretz Yisrael and not Broward County—and you might have a pretty good thing going there. But let’s pay tribute for a moment to those who are in the overwhelming majority—those who will not be going anywhere but from the kitchen to the dining-room table and back over the holiday. For them, the hard work started a long time ago. There are the lists of family and guests who will be joining the festival meals. There’s making sure there is significantly more than needed, as is the usual custom in our homes. And then the cooking begins. Beyond the focus of the great miracles our people experienced during the Exodus from Mitzrayim, the next big thing was originally the succulent roasted Paschal sacrifice, eaten without much in the way of side dishes. My, how things have changed since those days of that massive Pesach take-out order! Pesach is hard work, no matter how you cut it. It requires weeks of preparation whether you are indeed going to sunny Florida or staying closer to home (or actually at home). So whether you’re making a list of kugels your guests and family will dine on or a list of which out- fits to take along with you on your trip, you are already deeply immersed in the holiday preparations. Either way, it will hopefully be a wonderful yom tov for all, whether Jet Blue is included in your plans or not. Chag sameiach. O Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at [email protected]. 12 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Collusion America’s relations with Israel; he’s trying Continued from Front Cover to organize Tzipi Livni’s campaign for prime minister, or at least for her inclusion President Joe Biden in the first, and in a broad-based centrist government,” President Barack Obama in the second. Goldberg wrote. “The goal,” he explained, Some nationalist analysts think this is “is to force a rupture in the governing no coincidence, and the conspiracy theo- coalition that will make it necessary for ries are making their rounds. One nation- Netanyahu to take into his government alist newspaper sees collusion between Livni’s centrist Kadima Party . . . and form Obama and Israeli opposition leader a broad, 68-seat majority in Knesset that does not have to rely on gangsters, mes- sianists, and medievalists for votes.”

Gilad Erdan, Minister ‘The Prophet Yoel’ Under the headline “The Prophet Yoel,” for Environmental Lord also noted that Reshet Bet government-run radio recorded MK Yoel Hasson, a Livni confidant, predicting mysterious- Protection, also said ly one week before Biden arrived in Israel that “in the coming weeks it will become that Tuesday’s news obvious just how flimsy the relations between Netanyahu, the Europeans, and was “left-wing spin.” the Americans really are.” When asked, after the Biden flap, how he had seemed to predict that such a crisis was coming, Hasson “smiled mysteri- Tzipi Livni (Kadima). Another news ously.” source blames media mogul Arnon Lord’s conclusion: the affair was engi- Moses, owner of Yediot Acharonot and the neered with Kadima’s help. Ynet news website. Amnon Lord, editor of the nationalist ‘Treason’ newspaper Makor Rishon, noted in a Meanwhile, Jerusalem city councilman front-page article on Friday that Jeffrey Elisha Peleg suggested that the Israel Goldberg of The Atlantic, who is close to Security Agency (Shin Bet) should launch the Obama administration, hinted rather an investigation to find the individuals broadly that Obama was behind the very responsible for news of the permits mak- leak—regarding construction of 1,600 ing headlines when it did. “I would ask the housing units at Ramat Shlomo—that ISA to find out who are those who believe supposedly surprised the administration that Palestinian interests are more impor- and made it so angry. “Obama is not trying to destroy Continued on Page 28

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 13 Passover Wines hints of chocolate and a pleasant tart- FEATURES Continued from Front Cover ness. Can be paired with medium flavored grilled or sauced chicken or fish Aliyah Chronicle country’s wine industry really gained sig- dishes. P.O. BOX 690 LAWRENCE, NY 11559 Shmuel Katz 83 nificant ground, driven by a young, inter- Binyamina Yogev Cabernet/Shiraz 516-984-0079 nationally oriented generation. 2007. 50% Cabernet/50% Shiraz. Gemmy [email protected] From the northern elevations of the fruit aroma that displays ripe forest [email protected] Around The Five Towns 50 Galilee and the Golan Heights, to the berries against a soft backdrop of spicy LARRY GORDON ESTA J. GORDON coastal plains and down to the Negev oak and a trace of vanilla. Soft silky tan- Publisher/Editor Managing Editor Bagel Store Desert in the south, Israel is making out- nins and a long finish. Medium bodied YOSSI GORDON, YOCHANAN GORDON Larry Gordon 24 Sales Managers standing wines with a distinctive style wine that will only get better in the next and taste. It’s an amazing turnaround for five years. Can be paired with steaks and CHANA ROCHEL ROSS Classified Ads 78 Editorial Assistant a land that has been mostly overlooked in well seasoned meat. the worldwide wine regions. I’m always Castel–Grand Vin. Aged for 24 months SIDI BARON Daf Yomi Insights YAKOV SERLE Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow 82 impressed by the leaps in quality that I’ve in French oak, unrefined and unfiltered; Sales Representatives seen in the last 10 years. Finally, Israel is graceful and elegant with dominant tan- SHMUEL GERBER MICHELE JUSTIC The Dish starting to get recognized in the world’s nins. Full-bodied, bold, concentrated, and Chief Copy Editor Copy Editor Elke Probkevitz 30 wine arena. The way I see it, it’s just with layers of aromas and flavors that CONTRIBUTING EDITORS another fine wine-producing Mediterra- linger on. Look for berries, plums, and a Hannah Reich Berman, Anessa V. Cohen, Health 57 nean country. hint of olive and spices on the palate. Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg, Toby Klein Greenwald, For your tasting pleasure, I have cho- This wine will grow the next five years Rabbi Yair Hoffman, Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky, Shmuel Katz, Insights On The Torah sen 10 Israeli wines that are exceptional and will go well with full-flavored beef or Phyllis J. Lubin, Esther Mann, Rochelle Miller, R’ Ben Tzion Shafier 40 in every way and display a nice balance of chicken dishes. Elke Probkevitz, Naomi Ross, fruit, oak, mineral elements, and firm Dalton–Matatia, 2006. A blend of 80% Dr. Rachael Schindler, Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow, Luach 15 structures, as well as rich spicy notes. I’ve Cabernet Sauvignon, 15% Merlot, and 5% Rabbi Avi Shafran, Eli Shapiro, Ari Sher, Fern Sidman, Samuel Sokol also included my tasting notes for these Cabernet Franc. Developed in new MindBiz value wines. Here they are in alphabetical French oak. Aromas of mint, leather, and DOV GORDON, ELISHEVA ELEFANT Esther Mann, LMSW 36 Staff Graphic Artists order: a hint of black currant. Nice balance Agur Kessem 2007. From the Judean between wood, acidity, tannins, and IVAN NORMAN, IRA THOMAS Mother’s Musings Staff Photographers Hills, Mata Vineyard. 40% Cabernet fruits with blueberry, black currant, and Phyllis J. Lubin 74 Sauvignon, 30% Merlot, 20% Petite tangy citrus notes, Long finish with soft FRANKEL & CO. Design & Production Verdot, and 10% Cabernet Franc. Various lasting flavors. Can be paired with a vari- Puzzle aromas of berries and plum, it’s a full-bod- ety of red meats and pasta. TALIYE CORLEY Yoni Glatt 84 Art Director ied, multidimensional wine that possess- Flegman–Merlot. Made like Merlot es layers of berries, currant, and pleasant should be. Robust berries and forest fruit SARAH GREENBAUM Real Estate Assistant Art Director floral notes. Would pair well with rich with subtle hints of chocolate, cassis, and Anessa V. Cohen 42 The Five Towns Jewish Times is an independent weekly news- meat and duck. earth. Rich oak and soft spice backed by paper. Opinions expressed by writers and columnists are not Barkan Reserve Pinotage 2004. notes of plum and cherry. It’s velvety tan- necessarily those of the editor or publisher. We are not That’s The Way It Is! Seasoned plum and raspberry bouquet. nins with a big finish. Made like old responsible for the kashrus or hashgachah of any product or Hannah Reich Berman 34 establishment advertised in the Five Towns Jewish Times. Structured and medium bodied with rounded tannins, balanced with subtle Continued on Page 17

14 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES CALENDAR LUACH March 26–April 6 ZIP Code: 11516

11 Nissan Friday, March 26 Daf yomi: Sanhedrin 42 Z’manim*: Earliest tallis/teﬁllin: 5:55 am Sunrise: 6:49 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 9:18 am Gr’a 9:54 am P’lag ha’minchah: 5:55 pm Candle Lighting: 6:55 pm 12 Nissan – Shabbos Saturday, March 27 Parashas Tzav Shabbos HaGadol Shabbos ends**: 7:56 pm 72 min. 8:27 pm eve of 14 Nissan Sunday night, March 28 Bedikas Chametz 14 Nissan – Erev Pesach Monday, March 29 Ta’anis Bechorim Dawn: 5:21 am Sunrise: 6:43 am Eat chametz no later than: M. Av. 10:27 am Gr’a 10:54 am Destroy chametz no later than: M. Av. 11:43 am Gr’a 11:57 am Candle Lighting: 6:58 pm Monday night: 1st Seder 15 Nissan – 1st Day Pesach Tuesday, March 30 Candle Lighting: after 8:05 pm Tuesday night: 2nd Seder; begin counting Omer 18 Nissan – Erev Shabbos Friday, April 2 Daf yomi: Sanhedrin 49 Earliest tallis: 5:43 am Sunrise: 6:37 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 9:11 am Gr’a 9:47 am Candle Lighting: 7:02 pm 19 Nissan – Shabbos Saturday, April 3 Shabbos Chol HaMoed Shabbos ends**: 8:03 pm 72 min. 8:34 pm 20 Nissan – 4th Day Chol HaMoed Sunday, April 4 Candle Lighting: 7:04 pm 21 Nissan – 7th Day Pesach Monday, April 5 Candle Lighting: after 8:11 pm 22 Nissan – 8th Day Pesach Tuesday, April 6 Yizkor Yom Tov ends**: 8:07 pm 72 min. 8:37 pm * from MyZmanim.com (EDT) ** add a few minutes for tosefos Shabbos/Yom Tov according to your minhag Municipal Calendar For 5 Towns and NYC March 30–April 2 & April 5–6 NYC: Alternate-side parking regulations suspended; other parking regulations remain in effect. March 29–April 6 No classes for Lawrence, Hewlett-Woodmere, and NYC public schools. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 15 Ateret Cohanim Expresses Disappointment Over U.S.–Israel Relations

The American Friends of Ateret new housing construction. Ramat intransigence of the Arabs and their open the State of Israel, but continues to meek- Cohanim/Jerusalem Chai organization Shlomo, a Chareidi neighborhood in the expressions that nothing less than the ly wag a finger at Iran, we become the has expressed its “great disappointment northeastern part of Jerusalem, has total destruction of Israel will suffice for laughing stock of the Moslem world. and sadness” at the U.S. government’s approximately 18,000 residents. Once just them. When the Palestinian Authority And instead of praising the allotment recent harsh verbal attacks against its a forested area, it is now a beautiful, built- urges the banning of Jews from their own of huge sums for the renovation of closest Middle East ally, the democratic up area that, until the current “brooha City of Jerusalem and the U.S. administra- national heritage sites including the State of Israel. For more than 30 years over nothing,” has never been questioned tion concurs in such discriminatory prac- Tomb of Rachel and Hebron’s Cave of Ateret Cohanim has encouraged and sup- by anyone including the Palestinian tices, all Americans should consider that Machpelah (where both Moslems and ported the establishment of educational Authority. to be a personal affront to their own Jews pray), the U.S. castigates Israel for its institutions including yeshivas, nursery “provocations.” Sadly, when Palestinian schools, day care centers, and play- TV incites Arab children to hatred of Jews grounds throughout the Old City of and Israelis and encourages terrorism Jerusalem. It is one of the leading groups When America flexes its muscles at its through its use of offensive cartoons with that supports the right of Jews to live fuzzy bunny rabbits, no one in the freely in all parts of their Holy City and friend but continues to meekly wag a Western World considers that to be urges Arabs and Jews to live harmonious- “provocative.” ly together. finger at Iran, we become the laughing Something is amiss here. Targeting the legitimate construction With the greatest respect for our of homes in portions of Jerusalem, from stock of the Moslem world. President, Barack Obama, the American which the Jewish majority was forcibly Friends of Ateret Cohanim/Jerusalem Chai evicted by Jordan in 1947 but liberated urges Mr. Obama and his administration during the Six Day War, President Barack not to allow America’s friendship with Obama and Secretary of State Hillary “The astonishing disrespect showed to beliefs of fairness and equality.” Israel to falter; nor should our country Clinton shockingly lashed out at Prime Israel, particularly by Secretary Clinton,” It seems quite clear that in dealing embark on a path of appeasement that Minister Benjamin Netanyahu with said Jerusalem Chai Executive Vice with the State of Israel, the White House only encourages the Palestinians and other unprecedented rhetoric and demands. President, Shani Hikind, “has infuriated is practicing a “double standard”—some- Islamic nations to believe that terrorism, or Allegedly, the current crisis was prompt- many U.S. Senators and Congressmen, not thing this country has always deplored. the mere threat of the same, succeeds. ed during Vice President Biden’s visit to to speak of the American public at large. While seemingly upset over legitimate Surrendering to the arbitrary and base- Israel, when a lower echelon Israeli offi- “Indeed, we and they are extremely housing plans, the administration less demands of undemocratic and tyran- cial announced plans to expand the dismayed,” Hikind declared, “that, in the remains surprisingly silent about the nical regimes at Israel’s expense is merely northeastern Jerusalem neighborhood of quest for peace—however sincere that Palestinians’ failure to recognize Israel. It the selling of the American soul to those Ramat Shlomo two years from now. may be—the leadership of our great ignores recent terrorist attacks on inno- who mock us. Only if America stands tall Prime Minister Netanyahu promptly nation is quick to cast aside its long-time cent civilians and the rioting by Arabs a and proud and courageously adheres to apologized for the poor timing of the friendship with Israel. The administra- few days ago, obviously emboldened by the biblical principles of truth, integrity, announcement which, incidentally, did tion has disregarded the sovereignty of a the administration’s scolding. When and justice upon which it was founded not violate the 10-month moratorium on fellow democracy; it has ignored the America flexes its muscles at its friend, will true peace be achieved. O

16 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Passover Wines Full-bodied, with firm structure and soft Continued from Page 14 tannins, smoky wood, and plum and currant fruit flavors. This wine is school Merlots. This wine will pair well designed for current drinking, but with lighter meats such as veal and lamb should last well for the next five years. or pasta. Will pair well with full-flavored beef, Shiloh–Merlot/Shiraz 2005. From the grilled chicken, duck, or veal. Judean Hills region, 82% Merlot, 18% Before you run out to the nearest Shiraz. This is a medium-bodied Merlot liquor store, there is one final thought that features bright, ripe cherry notes bal- I’d like to share with you. Like every- anced by subtle toasted oak overtones thing else in the Middle East, Israel’s and hints of vanilla and a soft, velvety wine culture is complicated, subject to mouth feel. The Shiraz adds dark berry the ongoing conflict of the troubled flavors and a hint of black pepper. Enjoy region. Many farmers and vintners have the Shiraz-Merlot with duck, moderately to endure and endanger their lives spiced chicken or rich pastas. because of the raining Katyusha rockets Tzuba–Cabernet Sauvignon 2006. in the northern vineyards or the mortar Another winner from the Judean Hills bombs and rocket shells in the South. region, this full-bodied, rich wine is very For Israel’s budding wine culture, this well balanced, with delightful aromas of collateral damage really wreaked havoc roasted oak, dark berries, and smoky on the local economy. But despite the notes. Ripe cherry characteristics and soft hardship, Israeli farmers continue to silky-smooth tannins with a chocolaty sustain and preserve the vineyards, as herbal finish. Has the potential to over- the vintners create a work of art. whelm delicate dishes; best with rich So this Seder, as you fill up your glass beef and lamb dishes. with wine, think of the Israeli farmers Yarden Winery–Cabernet Sauvignon and their families. Leshanah haba’ah 2004. From the Golan Heights region this b’Yerushalayim! O wine is aged for 18 months primarily in small French oak barrels. Powerful mature blackberries, cherry, cassis, and plum notes with toasty oak, vanilla, and a nuance of At 5TJT.com spices. It is full-bodied and concentrated you can enjoy articles with a long complex finish. Will go well with full-flavored foods, such as peppered in 3 ways: grilled steak, roasted duck, or lamb. Yatir Winery–Cabernet Sauvignon 1. Read 2006. Blended with 15% Shiraz, big 2. Print vibrant wine displaying dark flavors, tar, bittersweet chocolate, licorice, black 3. Email currant, and dark roasted coffee beans.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 17 Shidduch Crisis…The Next Chapter

BY RABBI BARRY HOLZER, MD apy, to have the best in the field train research experience with over 3,000 cou- but how they argue. Criticism, defensive- our counselors. In order to share this ples. He is the author of 190 published ness, contempt, and stonewalling destroy There is much written about the cur- with as wide an audience as possible, academic articles and author or co- marriages. Responding to your spouse, rent crisis in the shidduch world, and Nefesh partnered with Yeshiva author of 40 books, including the New never ignoring even seemingly trivial rightfully so. But, as therapists, we are University–Center for the Jewish Future York Times bestseller, The Seven conversation with your spouse, and giv- often faced with the issue of helping (CJF), who eagerly embraced the oppor- Principles for Making Marriage Work. ing each other the gift of attention shows successful shidduchim become success- tunity. CJF was interested not only in Together with his wife, Julie, they have your partner is important to you and ful marriages. We are all aware of the ris- training it own alumni in pulpits across developed a two-day professional train- builds relationships. Other marriage tips ing divorce rate in the frum community, the country and its shadchanim in ing that will equip a counselor with a from the Gottmans’ research include: but solving that crisis has been elusive. YUConnects, but shares the vision of practical and highly effective approach • Seek help early. The average couple There are programs to give couples bet- waits six years before seeking help for ter skills before they get married, which marital problems (and keep in mind, half are very helpful and need wider accept- of all marriages that end do so in the first ance throughout the community. Once a seven years). This means the average cou- couple is married and having problems The most successful couples are ple lives with unhappiness for far too long. in their relationship, how do we help • Edit yourself. Couples who avoid say- them fix the problems and be successful those who, even as newlyweds, ing every critical thought when dis- in the difficult challenge of creating cussing touchy topics are consistently the shalom bayis. happiest. Most frum couples will turn to their refused to accept hurtful behavior • Soften your “start up.” Arguments first rav to discuss the issues, and often having “start up” because a spouse sometimes an experienced listener giving them good escalates the conflict from the get-go by advice based on a Torah hashkafah is from one another. making a critical or contemptuous what they need. But too often today, the remark in a confrontational tone. Bring problems are not easily solved. Whether up problems gently and without blame. it be a rav or a marriage counselor or ther- • Accept influence.A marriage suc- apist who is doing the work, satisfaction Nefesh of bringing this to the entire to guiding couples across the chasm that ceeds to the extent that the husband rates are not very high. spectrum of Orthodoxy by subsidizing divides them. In this workshop, Drs. can accept influence from his wife. If a In response to this crisis, Nefesh, the the cost. To this goal not only Nefesh John and Julie Gottman provide a woman says, “Do you have to work International Network of Orthodox members, but all rabbis and rebbetzins research-based roadmap for helping cou- Thursday night? My mother is coming Mental Health Professionals, decided it are being offered a significant discount ples to compassionately manage their that weekend, and I need your help get- was time to bring the best training avail- for the two-day workshop, on April 18-19 conflicts, deepen their friendship and ting ready,” and her husband replies, able to the frum community. Toward in New York, well below the usual fee intimacy, and share their life purpose “My plans are set, and I’m not changing this goal, Nefesh contacted The the Gottman Institute charges in their and dreams. them,” this guy is in a shaky marriage. A Gottman Institute, world renowned for own training in Seattle. Gottman’s research has shown that a its research and training in couples ther- John Gottman has over 35 years of couple’s greatest problem is not conflict, Continued on Page 20

18 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 19 Shidduch: The Next Chapter hard for you”); making it clear you’re on issues by uncovering their underlying American Israelis Continued from Page 18 common ground (“This is our problem”); dreams, history, and values; methods to backing down (in marriage, as in the mar- help couples process their fights and Express Full husband’s ability to be influenced by his tial art Aikido, you have to yield to win); heal their hurts; and techniques for cou- wife (rather than vice-versa) is crucial and, in general, offering signs of appreci- ples to deepen their intimacy and mini- Support For because research shows women are ation for your partner and his or her feel- mize relapse. already well practiced at accepting ings along the way (“I really appreciate Clinicians who take this workshop will influence from men, and a true partner- and want to thank you for . . .”). If an argu- be equipped with new methods and tools Netanyahu’s Policy ship only occurs when a husband can ment gets too heated, take a 20-minute to help couples break the cycle of criticism, do so as well. break, and agree to approach the topic defensiveness, contempt, and On Construction • Have high standards. Happy couples again when you are both calm. stonewalling. The goal is to have many rab- have high standards for each other even • Focus on the bright side. In a happy banim and rebbetzins join clinicians in this In Jerusalem as newlyweds. The most successful cou- marriage, while discussing problems, cou- training in April and that this be the part of ples are those who, even as newlyweds, ples make at least five times as many pos- the recognition and response to this evolv- The American Israeli Action Coalition refused to accept hurtful behavior from itive statements to and about each other ing crisis in our community, to strengthen (AIAC), on behalf of the more than one another. The lower the level of toler- and their relationship as negative ones. the kedushah of marriage and make 250,000 Americans living in Israel, ance for bad behavior in the beginning of For example, “We laugh a lot;” not, “We shalom bayis a focus of every Jew in the recently expressed its full support of a relationship, the happier the couple is never have any fun.” A good marriage must entire frum community. For more informa- Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin down the road. have a rich climate of positivity. Make tion about the two-day workshop, visit Netanyahu’s policy on residential con- • Learn to repair and exit the argument. deposits to your emotional bank account. www.Nefesh.org or call 347-554-0258. O struction in all of Jerusalem and wished Successful couples know how to exit an In this inspirational two-day work- him success in his meetings in Dr. Barry Holzer is a child, adolescent, and adult argument. Happy couples know how to shop, clinicians learn new research- psychiatrist practicing in the Five Towns. He also Washington D.C. this week. AIAC also repair the situation before an argument based assessments and effective inter- has offices in Brooklyn and Queens and is a co- called upon Prime Minister Netanyahu gets completely out of control. Successful ventions to help understand couples’ founder of Nefesh International. Level 1: Bridging the Couple Chasm—Gottman repair attempts include: changing the struggles; research-based strategies and Couples Therapy will be presented April 18–19 by topic to something completely unrelated; tools to help couples successfully man- Nefesh International in conjunction with Yeshiva University Center for the Jewish Future. It will be AIAC fully supports using humor; stroking your partner with age conflict; skills that empower couples held at Yeshiva University’s Belfer Hall, 500 West a caring remark (“I understand that this is to dialogue about their worst gridlocked 185th Street, New York, NY. this decision, condemns the Obama administration’s criticism as an insult to Israel and its citizens.

not to make any further pre-peace-talks concessions which would place the Israeli population in jeopardy. AIAC is a non-partisan, non-political, issue-oriented NGO whose purpose is to represent the united voice of the more than 250,000 Americans living in Israel on issues which affect Israel, Israel-U.S. relations, and the Jewish people worldwide. Harvey Schwartz, AIAC chairman, stated that “Prime Minister Netanyahu is embarking on what appears to be a fate- ful trip to Washington D.C. under a cloud caused by the Obama administration with its recently uncalled for, unneces- sary, and undiplomatically harsh criticism of Israel for simply announcing the approval of new residential construction in its capital of Jerusalem. AIAC fully supports this decision, condemns the Obama administration’s criticism as an insult to Israel and its citizens, and reiter- ates its call to President Obama to issue an apology to Israel. Prime Minister Netanyahu’s visit to the United States provides a perfect opportunity for President Obama to do so.” “AIAC also expresses its appreciation to the U.S. Congress and the American people as a whole for their strong support for Israel during the Obama administration-induced crisis,” continued Chairman Schwartz. “They recognize cor- rectly that Israel is America’s best friend in the Middle East and that the Obama administration’s recent outbursts are counterproductive, encourage terrorism, and are an impediment to achieving true peace among Israel and its neighboring states. AIAC expresses its hope that the Obama administration will align its policies with the desires of Congress and the American people.” O 20 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Sinning Against Singles

BY RABBI CHANANYA WEISSMAN We take for granted that trying to help singles marry is a mitzvah. What most people don’t seem to account for is the fact that, like all mitzvos, there are parameters that define what constitutes performing the mitzvah properly and what can actually be a sin—even if one’s heart is in the right place. If one offers a sacrifice in the Beis HaMikdash, he is performing a mitzvah. If one offers the same sacrifice with the same pure intentions outside the Beis HaMikdash, he commits a grave offense. Similarly, one can attempt to arrange a shidduch and be performing a mitzvah, but one can also be committing a terri- ble sin that far outweighs his good intentions. The ways in which our community sins against singles are many and wide- spread. Because these sins are easily cam- ouflaged as mitzvos, and because there are so many nuances and subtleties involved with helping singles, it is extremely difficult for many people to recognize that they may be sinning. It is all too easy for one to rationalize his behavior, especially when societal norms favor “helping” singles in ways that are not appropriate. I will provide common examples of this to help educate the community and with hopes that those who are well- meaning will refine the manner in which they try to help singles. In addition, hopefully some people will realize that this mitzvah is not for them, just as not all mitzvos are intended to be performed by all people at all times. Some people may not yet be equipped to perform the mitzvah, and others would be best off avoid- ing it altogether.

Individuals: Sins Of Speech Well-meaning individuals sin against singles with speech and action. They sin with speech by making a variety of inappropriate comments, such as the following common examples: “Why aren’t you married yet?” This generally comes from people who are favorably impressed with a single they don’t know very well. It is intended as a compliment, as if to say, “You’re so terrific I can’t believe no one snapped you up!” While masquerading as a mitzvah by supposedly complimenting the single and boosting his self-esteem, it only draws attention to the fact that he is still single and puts him on the spot. After all, how exactly is a person supposed to respond to this? “Yes, I’m wonderful, and I also can’t believe no one wants to marry me.” This doesn’t exactly brighten a person’s day. Sometimes the same question is asked, but as a genuine inquiry. The questioner wants to help; he wants to

Continued on Page 22 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 21 Sinning Against Singles only be ventured, with humility and hello, to get to know a certain man, misguided and uninformed, and the Continued from Page 21 sensitivity, if the relationship with the since his wife is a shadchan. (I should damage from these remarks can be other person and the situation call for have recommended an etiquette spe- tremendous and difficult to undo. True know what’s holding the single back it. The above declaration is just the cialist for her, but refrained.) A stranger leaders know their limitations and don’t from getting married so he can try to opposite; it is arrogant and insensitive, approached me and pronounced tread in areas outside their expertise fix the problem. Needless to say, and it will only hurt, not illuminate. “Speedily! Speedily!” (I wished the without due diligence. despite the good intentions, the ques- Generally people will make this same for him, though we probably had tion is entirely tactless and bound to remark to lash out at a single and different things in mind.) Yet another Individuals: Sins Of Action be hurtful. strike at a raw nerve, not to direct him distant acquaintance sat down next to Individuals sin against singles through Furthermore, the question presup- on a productive path. They will ration- me and asked me straight off what action primarily in three ways. The first is poses that there is a clear reason why alize otherwise, but this comment can hishtadlus I was doing. (My response: by setting them up in negligent fashion. one person may have been fortunate to never be rationalized. “None of your business.”) It is not a mitzvah to set two people up find the right person and get married on a whim with the rationalization that while the next person has not been so “it’s only a date,” “you never know,” or fortunate. That is far from true. Most “you can’t leave a stone unturned.” Save singles don’t need to be fixed before the flippant attitude for your own shid- they are marriageable, and plenty of We create dating events that duch search if you really believe in it, and married people have tremendous prob- show a little more concern for the wel- lems and issues that may make their fare of others. relationships very unpleasant. If things resemble bad game shows and Bad experiences, and even a series of worked out a little differently, plenty of neutral but unsuccessful experiences, can singles would be married and plenty of offer singles icebreakers suitable take a lot out of a person, and many such married people would still be single. experiences can be avoided by doing just Hence, to presuppose that there is a a little homework. I am against the Secret “reason” why someone is single is very for small children. Service-like investigations common in shortsighted and even insulting. some circles, but one should take setting Besides, even if there is a reason why people up seriously enough to get their someone is single, what makes anyone so facts straight and put some serious sure he is able to help—or that it is even thought into the matter. Ask the right his business? “Im yirtzeh Hashem by you!” Singles Unless it is appropriate for fringe questions, pay attention to the answers, “This is why you aren’t married.” This often bristle at this remark, which acquaintances and strangers to make sim- and never lose sight of what the other per- is an incredibly presumptuous and offen- tends to come from people on the ilar well-intentioned comments to child- son is going through. Fail to do so, and it’s sive comment that is nevertheless quite fringes of their life—if even that less couples, the severely ill, or those in a sin at worst, and a severely blemished common. It is never appropriate for any- close—and only draws attention to dire economic straits, it is not appropri- mitzvah at best. Even if it works out, it’s in one to say this to someone. Never. their single status. Personal remarks by ate to make such comments to singles spite of the effort, not because of it. Unless one is a prophet, he cannot people on the fringes of someone’s life about their personal status. A little tact Individuals also sin against singles by possibly know why anyone else is not are generally not appropriate, even if means more than a perfunctory blessing. broaching the idea of setting them up and married, does not have children, or is well-intentioned. Rabbis and other people of influence then failing to follow through. It’s star- otherwise not blessed in a certain fash- At one memorable wedding, a dis- should be especially careful before tling how common this is, and complete- ion. The best anyone can manage is an tant cousin who has no relationship speaking about these issues. Much of ly inexcusable. Don’t start something you educated guess, and even this should with me advised me, with barely a what is said by such people is terribly aren’t committed to seeing through.

22 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES A third sin is committed when people against singles. We create dating events that resemble sake of changing. disparage singles’ ability to make proper Singles tend to be transient, and thus bad game shows and offer singles ice- Singles sin against themselves by fail- decisions for themselves. There is a fine more commonly find themselves the breakers suitable for small children to ing to take charge of their personal lives, line between offering well-timed advice new person in town—without the built- help lessen the pressure and awkward- and instead waiting for others to do and meddling too closely in someone’s in companionship and social entry of a ness. Just not smart thinking. things for them. If the events out there personal affairs, and many people don’t spouse. It is incumbent on every shul to The community sins against singles by are not to your liking, organize your own. even recognize that such a line exists have some sort of welcoming committee driving them away from an observant If the community isn’t working for you, when it comes to singles. If someone or similar mechanism to help new people lifestyle. I personally have encountered then work to change the community. If decides not to pursue a relationship with feel at home and become integrated into more than a few people who drifted away you see someone interesting, strike up a someone, for example, his decision the community. Singles don’t necessarily from observance because they felt they conversation with that person. If you had should be respected, not become the need meals or shidduch dates, but they had to choose between being obser- a good time on the date, ask that person basis for critical remarks. need to feel like a valued member of the vant—shidduch system and all—and ever out again, directly. It is normal to reject A single should never be made to feel community. Singles flee to places like the getting married. No one should ever have and to be rejected. It is not normal to like a chesed project or a lesser person. Upper West Side—no great sanctuary in to make such a choice. have a third party do the real communi- One who sets singles up without show- its own right—because they are often The community sins against singles by cating for you. ing them the same respect and regard made to feel unwelcome and disregarded repackaging the same failed ideas in dif- Singles sin against themselves by sub- they would show a married adult is cer- in more family-oriented communities. ferent wrapping paper and presenting it stituting real hishtadlus with praying in tain to sin repeatedly against them. I This has to change. as something exciting. Prior generations cemeteries, adopting strange pseudo-reli- would advise such people to find a differ- The community sins against singles by did not know of a crisis of this nature, so gious customs, and trying far-fetched, ent, safer mitzvah with which to occupy closing off natural meeting opportunities we should look to them for guidance painful things like degrading singles themselves, and to leave this one to peo- such as wedding meals, concerts, and instead of pretending it was always done events. Acts of desperation such as these ple with more refined character and other events at which there is no com- this way or, worse, claiming it has to con- are not hishtadlus; quite the reverse, in interpersonal skills. pelling reason to fence men and women tinue to be this way. Nonsense. Things fact. True hishtadlus is taking normal, off from one another. We do not have a had to change to become like this, and sensible measures to attain a goal while The Community crisis of Jews acting inappropriately at they can just as easily change again—this putting one’s trust in Hashem. The community at large sins against these events, so these suffocating, unnec- time for the better. I am optimistic that things really can singles in a variety of ways. This “crisis” essary strictures that only create other change for the better. But it won’t happen didn’t just appear out of thin air, after all. problems must be removed. Singles by itself or through an act of G-d. It will Our community has gone off track, and The community sins against singles by Singles sin against themselves as well. only happen when singles, married peo- unless it seriously changes course, the substituting natural meeting opportuni- They sin against themselves by allowing ple, and the community at large face up problems will only continue. ties with all manner of degrading, ineffi- themselves to be degraded and mistreat- to the real issues and commit to mean- The community sins against singles cient, and generally ineffective consola- ed because they are afraid of being stig- ingful changes. It can happen. It starts first and foremost by trivializing the tion prizes. We don’t let singles meet one matized. They sin against themselves by with you. problem. There is no one “problem”— another at the wedding, but we console doing all manner of things that aren’t true That’s a mitzvah. O such as “singles are too picky,” “there them that maybe someone will take pity to themselves “for shidduch purposes,” as aren’t enough men,” or everyone’s on them and set them up. No deal. if they wish to marry someone who does- Rabbi Chananya Weissman is the founder of favorite scapegoat, “television”—that is We replace non-pressurized events n’t appreciate them for who they really EndTheMadness (www.endthemadness.org), a volunteer effort to rehabilitate the culture of the responsible for a culture that makes dat- with events that have married chaper- are. They sin against themselves by never shidduch world and www.hotkiddush.com, a ing and marriage so difficult. To trivialize ones, shadchanim, and “facilitators,” lest developing a true sense of self and a sen- free networking site geared for the Orthodox community. He blogs at the problem is to ignore the real issues, singles talk to one another instead. Not sible derech that they can stick with www.daasyachid.blogspot.com and can be and to ignore the real issues is to sin good enough. instead of changing things just for the contacted at [email protected].

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 23 fact of the rising is representative of the the matter of reading Megillas Esther. Our hubris and ego that are a vital component Sages say that if one reads the Megillah of humanity. It’s about our personal backwards, he is not considered to have pride—the stature that we’ve developed performed the mitzvah of reading the (or think we’ve developed) for ourselves, Megillah. Commentators interpret this as and perhaps even excessive doses of self- meaning that one who views the events esteem (something they say is in short of the Megillah as a series of events that supply these days). These are all necessary happened to some other people at some elements one needs in order to survive; other time is not observing the holiday The Search For Chametz but at the same time, we have to measure properly. And it makes a great deal of them carefully so as not to overdose to sense, because why would someone want BY LARRY GORDON superficial dietetic changes we make at the point of having too much pride or to read the Megillah backwards, anyway? the midpoint of the month of Nissan. hold ourselves in too high esteem. On the matter of the Seder, though, we The story is retold every year at this For many of us, the entire Pesach exer- And this is what the flip side of are challenged with entering into a frame time about an elderly, holy Jew who cise is, to an extent, about searching— chametz—i.e., matzah—is all about: the of mind that places us there on the scene. resided in just one room in a small not for just a few weeks before Pesach, failure to rise allows us to consider our- We are there in those final hurried Russian town and the ordeal he endured but actually for months. We’re looking selves to be something that in essence we moments, as Jews packed up to leave in his search for chametz on the night and searching for hotels to go to, and, really are not. The Jewish people were in their personal Diaspora that many con- before the yom tov of Pesach. Though he once we find one, we start to shop like such a rush to leave the land of our sidered home and, despite the hardships lived in just one small room, the search maniacs for clothing to wear l’kavod yom enslavement that the dough they intend- and discomforts, probably felt rather took him all night, till the sun would rise tov and in accordance with the most ed to bake bread with for the trip into the accustomed to. We learned that we could in the morning. As we become reorient- stringent formulas of holiday obser- desert had no time to rise, and therefore not have made it out of the Egyptian ed with the concept of chametz this time vance. For those of us staying home, the we eat matzah on Pesach. We do so to exile on our own. We had no Torah yet, of year, we learn from the story of this search for clothing is similar, though not commemorate those great days—the we were physically worn down, and the rebbe that the search for chametz we tra- filled with the same inspired and reli- turning point that culminated in the cre- Egyptians did a pretty good job of inte- ditionally conduct is not simply about gious zeal as for those traveling for the ation of the Jewish People after hundreds grating our young people and assimilat- little pieces of bread, a wooden spoon, holiday. Additionally, for those spending of years of torturous physical exile. ing them into everyday life in Mitzrayim. and a candle. yom tov at home, there is the inevitabili- One of the fascinating things—and Taking a further look into the story of The elderly Jew’s search for chametz ty of guest lists, food lists, and meal always one of the great challenges— the Jewish experience in exile, we find a took him through his little apartment as menus. So, in effect, the search for about Pesach is that according to Jewish deeper meaning to the tragic tale of how well as through the year that had tran- chametz before the chag is really only the law and tradition, on the Seder night we Pharaoh chose to deal with the miracu- spired, from the conclusion of the last culmination of months of searching for are obligated to view ourselves as if we lous numbers of offspring the Jewish Pesach to the arrival of the new one. The one thing or another. actually were part of that great group women were producing—sometimes six arrival of and the preparation for Pesach Certainly the most challenging search tour, that first Pesach away and on the children per birth. Pharaoh chose to com- took him on a search for the chametz in is for the chametz in our hearts and road to redemption. Interestingly mand his people, in order to control the his heart and in his mind, and all that the minds. In a way, this is a never-ending enough, the same thing is said about Jewish population, to simply toss all the concept of chametz represents. The ideas process which has to entail a great deal of Purim—that we are required to view our- Jewish males to their death into the Nile represented by the switch we make every introspection and, well, soul-searching. selves as having been saved from the evil River. Pharaoh’s plan for the Jewish future year from consuming leavened bread to After all, this is what chametz really repre- decree of Haman just like out ancestors was far more complex than an ancient matzah and matzah-based products is sents on an esoteric level. Being chametz, were more than 2,300 years ago. This is “final solution.” The Nile River was wor- deep, and it represents more than the or leavened, means that it has risen. The brought down by our commentators on shipped as a god in Egypt, and it was the

24 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES source of livelihood for all of itself is derived from the chametz, and not just the annu- that country’s people. It rarely Hebrew word “tza‘ar” or al perfunctory roundup of ten rains in Egypt, and the fields “meitzar,” which means “that small pieces of challah or rye that supply the grain and pro- which afflicts or constricts.” bread to symbolically demon- duce for the country receive the Two times each day when we strate the gathering and the dis- water they need only when the recite the third and final para- posing of the chametz from our Nile crests and overflows, there- graph of the Shema, we say the ownership. It’s a good time to by watering the fields. As a words, “I am the L-rd your G-d, look into our hearts and find result, the Nile was the source of who has taken you out of the that which needs to be cleansed all commerce throughout the land of Egypt, to be for you as a and excised. But the key is to land of Egypt; it represented on G-d . . .” And this could very well look into our own hearts—not all levels everything that was have a double meaning. On a those of our neighbors. successful about the country. simple level, it references the The question is posed as to Without the Nile, Egypt would watershed moment in Jewish why we burn all the utensils cease to be a viable country. history—the Exodus from with which we ceremoniously So, according to some, when Egypt. gather up the chametz during Pharaoh demanded that his sub- On a more contemporary and the search. It’s understandable ordinates throw the Jewish easily applicable level, that we have to burn the feather male children into the Nile, he “Mitzrayim,” or that which con- and the wooden spoon, because was not only ordering them to stricts us, is something we deal they actually come in contact murder Jewish babies; he was with on various levels every with the bread, the chametz. The also asking them to see to it that week and every day. That which question is, though, why do we the Jewish children be thrown restricts us or troubles us or also burn the candle? After all, into whatever the Nile repre- oppresses us in our everyday the candle did not come in con- sented: commerce, socializa- lives—whether on a personal or tact with the bread at all; it only tion, assimilation—everything professional level—can be hovered above the action to illu- that makes a country workable viewed as our own personal minate the search. The answer and functioning. Short of Mitzrayim from which our faith is that a candle or a light that enslaving and torturing its Jews, in Hashem liberates us daily, finds chametz—and all its mani- Egyptians wanted more than even constantly. Yes, there is a festations—by a Jew deserves to anything else to integrate them Mitzrayim somewhere out there be burnt along with the into all levels of their society. on the border with Gaza at the chametz. Elsewhere, however, there were other end of the Sinai. And they Chag sameiach to all. O other plans. have tunnels that are dug under- Comments for Larry Gordon are So how do you sit at the Seder ground and through which welcome at [email protected]. in 2010 and actually see, feel, armaments continue to be and visualize yourself as having smuggled to terrorists who been enslaved in Egypt—as hav- threaten, harm, and inflict pain ing been one of the chosen on Jews up to this very day. And members of the fledgling Jewish there is the Mitzrayim in which nation that was actually scurry- our ancestors were actual slaves ing on that first night of the very and in which countless male first Pesach to scoot out of children were systematically Mitzrayim so as not to become killed for no reason other than irretrievably sunk down to a their Jewishness—and the liber- level of spiritual contamination ation from which we mark and that could never be recovered celebrate on the Seder night and from? Our commentators tell us throughout Passover. that had we not left Egypt at And we prepare for this that specific moment, we may observance by searching for have actually lost our chance to chametz.We search our homes do so and would be gone as a and our offices, and we are also people—forever. instructed to search our hearts But is feeling that way on the and minds. Like Mitzrayim Seder night actually doable, or is itself, chametz is an all-encom- it nothing but indulgence in passing and pervasive concept. some kind of virtual-reality exer- Maybe that’s why it is incum- cise that was ahead of its time? bent upon us to search for, find, How are we supposed to deal and destroy our own chametz, with this stuff? We have a diffi- and there is no such custom to cult enough time relating to search for your neighbors’ or contemporary problems that friends’ chametz (which you intimately impact on modern would no doubt have a much Jewish life—like terror in Israel easier time finding). Chametz as well as an upsurge in anti- represents hubris and conceit. Semitism around the world. Can Matzah is representative of we sit at the Seder table, humility—the nullification of whether away or at home, and the self that facilitates the unity actually place our lives in a and uniqueness of Am Yisrael— 3,000-years-ago context? the then newly created Jewish I’m sure that many are able to People preparing to travel do that, especially those who through the desert and encamp have achieved the ability to at Mount Sinai to receive the view all of Jewish life and Torah. Jewish history as a mysterious We have learned that the cir- yet uninterrupted continuum cumstances surrounding the from the days of Adam and Eve redemption from Egypt are a up until today. For others, how- forerunner to the circumstances ever, it’s important to under- that will surround the ultimate stand that the concept of and final redemption of the Mitzrayim, Egypt, is not limited Jewish People, may it happen to a geographical context of an speedily in our days. Perhaps an ancient nation thousands of integral part of those circum- years ago. The word “Mitzrayim” stances is our internal search for 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 25 26 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 27 Collusion Continued from Page 13 The Bibi–Obama Meeting, From The Inside tant than Israeli interests,” he told IDF B Y LARRY GORDON attacks by Arabs in Israel and as a safe order to survive, Bibi will have to bring Radio, saying that “treason” was involved. haven for perpetrators of terror. The the left-leaning Kadima party into the The Jerusalem municipality issued a Perhaps feeling confident, charged, official, who asked not to be identified ruling coalition. statement saying that the report regard- and energized in the aftermath of his because he was not authorized to Asked if Ms. Livni or even Labor leader ing Shepherd Hotel was “distorted” and health-care victory earlier this week, speak on the matter, said that Ehud Barak in the role of Prime Minister “is meant to stir up a provocation during President Barack Obama set his sights “demands are being made on could meet Obama’s demands, the Prime Minister Netanyahu’s visit in Tuesday night and Wednesday on Netanyahu that cannot be met.” That American Jewish leader, who is close to Washington.” Israel, attempting to impose his will means that if Netanyahu does accede the Netanyahu government, said that “The plan was approved in July 2009 by and publicly humiliate Prime Minister they absolutely could not. the local committee,” the municipality Benjamin Netanyahu. For now, the Netanyahu effort is to noted. “Its approval was published in the As we went to press, Netanyahu was buy time and calm the difficult atmos- media at the time. The landowners only paid still in Washington, working with his phere that has evolved over the last week the fees on March 15, 2010, and approval was diplomatic staff in the hope of crafting For now, the or so. Support for Israel and Jerusalem is granted automatically after that.” a statement that can both satisfy Mr. still rock-solid in Congress, and Israel Gilad Erdan, Minister for Obama and reduce the high tension that Netanyahu effort is needs to nudge the process closer to the Environmental Protection, also said that for the first time in half a century stands U.S. mid-term elections, as being pro- Tuesday’s news was “left-wing spin.” He to endanger the unique relationship Israel generally translates into votes called it “idle chatter that left-wing ele- between the U.S. and Israel. According to buy time and around most of the country. That’s an ments are looking to use to muddy to American Jewish sources, “Obama is additional reason why Mr. Obama is in Netanyahu’s name, even at the expense of turning the screws on Netanyahu, calm the difficult such a hurry to pressure Netanyahu into ties with the U.S.” threatening the very nature of the concessions that cross Israel’s traditional U.S.–Israel relationship.” According to atmosphere that red lines—as, politically speaking, time is Was It Noni? this source, Obama wants an announce- of the essence. News1, a news website owned and ment from Netanyahu that says that has evolved over The Obama persona that is emerging operated by hard-hitting independent building in East Jerusalem will be imme- and his stance toward Israel is exactly newsman Yoav Yitzchak, had its own the- diately halted for the duration of the what had been feared in the past, ory regarding the embarrassing leaks. He negotiations between Israel and the the last week or so. though the hope was that the relation- noted that the Shepherd Hotel leak was Palestinians. The source said that they ship would not come to this. According first published in Ynet, and he cited believe that Obama specifically wants to the source, Obama lashed out at the unnamed political sources that estimated Netanyahu to commit to reopening prime minister, assuring him of unprece- that Arnon (Noni) Moses was trying to Orient House in East Jerusalem, which to Obama’s demands, his government, dented international isolation if he bring down Netanyahu’s government. once served as the seat of what was which is held together by right-wing wouldn’t agree to the president’s terms. Moses is waging a business war against a then an illegal Palestinian government parties, will not be able to survive. It is unlikely that will happen, and Israel new rival, Yisrael HaYom, which threatens functioning in Jerusalem. And that is in part the objective of has to now prepare itself for what his newspapers’ ascendancy in the Israeli Prior to the closing of Orient House Mr. Obama and Secretary of State should not really be considered such an market. Yisrael HaYom is owned by by Israeli police about ten years ago, it Clinton—to manipulate the situation unusual place on the world stage—that Sheldon Adelson, who is considered close was found to be functioning as a head- to the point where the Netanyahu gov- is, standing alone like the proverbial to Netanyahu. (Arutz Sheva) O quarters for the planning of terror ernment cannot survive—or, that in lamb surrounded by 70 wolves. O

28 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

V’Higadta L’Vincha: Shuvu’s Pesach Preparations

“It’s a machloket between the Chazon known not just for the high level of its Ish and Rav Chaim Na’eh. According to studies, both secular and of course the Chazon Ish, a revi’it is 150 milliliters, limudei kodesh, but also for the emphasis

When Yonatan noticed how excited the second-place winner was about the The children at Shuvu receiving their Pesach packages.

camera, he happily switched prizes. shining stone. Not a day goes by without trips lasting several days). From experi- reports in the daily papers in Israel ence, the schools knew that students regarding violence in schools, alcoholism would fill up their canteens with noth- among students, and tznius issues. The ing less than alcoholic beverages. Sadly, daily paper Ma’ariv reported last week the school staff was not able to trust its while according to Rav Chaim Naeh it’s placed on derech eretz. In the unfortu- that several schools in Israel forbade stu- student body, and they had no choice but only 86, the gematriya of kos.” nate reality of the youth in Eretz Yisrael dents from bringing water canteens on Although one might assume that these today, Shuvu children stand out like a their annual tiyulim shnati’im (school Continued on Page 32 words came out of a frum-from-birth regular yeshiva bachur, they were actually just uttered last week by Yonatan Geinkin, a seventh grader in the Shuvu Rishon Letzion School, in response to a question on a quiz of hilchos Pesach. Yonatan grew up in a home foreign to Yiddishkeit and knew practically nothing about Judaism until just a few years ago, when he joined Shuvu. Yonatan and 14 other contestants from his Shuvu Rishon Letzion School and from the Shuvu Ashdod School con- gregated in Rishon Letzion for the final and public stage of the quiz—to test their knowledge on the halachos of Pesach, and to add to the knowledge of their many classmates present in the crowd. The quiz questions were presented through short movie clips starring the students of the class, making the contest exciting and interesting for the non-contestants as well. Everyone in the crowd sensed the combination of delight, even disbelief, and much, much nachas, as they heard the children answering with confidence and great bekius. A sign of the standing Shuvu has in general, and in Ashdod and Rishon Letzion in particular, was the attendance of three gedolim at the event. Hagaon Harav Yehuda Silman, shlita, one of the great poskim in Bnei Brak and the posek for Shuvu, was joined by the Chief Rabbi of Rishon Letzion, Harav Yehuda Volpe, shlita, and Chief Rabbi of Ashdod, Harav Yosef Sheinin, shlita. All three rabbonim were amazed at what they were witnessing. Rav Silman could- n’t get over the children’s knowledge in general, and particularly their understanding of sha’ot zmani’ot regarding sof zman achilas chametz and sof zman hana’ah. “I didn’t expect Shuvu students who only recently were introduced to learning, to have such an understanding of the halachah!” the rav remarked excitedly. Rav Volpe and Rav Sheinin were no less enthusiastic. They both stood up and gave the children a brachah that they should grow in Torah and become true talmidei chachamim. But it wasn’t just the Torah knowledge displayed that was impressive. It was the midos of the children as well. Shuvu is 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 29 The Super Popular Tuber

Potatoes are the most popular veg- results as the bakers. etable in the world. They are available Here are some common varieties you in hundreds of varieties, which vary in may have seen at the market: size, shape, taste, color, and starch con- Russet. A brown-skinned, oblong tent. You might think that all potatoes potato with a white interior, this is one are basically the same, but there are dif- of the most popular potatoes. It has a ferences that make one variety better rough skin with numerous eyes and can for a particular cooking method than grow quite large. The russet is low in another. For example, red potatoes are moisture and high in starch, making it best for boiling, and russets are best for good for baking, boiling, and making

Fingerling potatoes

frying and baking. Potatoes are often french fries. served as a side dish to meat and poul- Red. They are medium-sized with try, but they are also used as a signifi- thin red skin and white flesh that has a cant ingredient in many dishes, such as crisp, waxy texture. The flesh can have a stews, soups, scalloped potatoes, and pink tint but is generally white. They other casserole-type dishes. are good potatoes for boiling, steaming, For all practical purposes, potatoes fall and roasting. They keep their shape into two categories—baking potatoes and when cooked, which makes them a boiling potatoes. The main difference good choice for dishes that have cooked between the two types is the amount and potatoes in them, such as potato salad, nature of starch each contains. scalloped potatoes, soups, and stews. Baking potatoes are also called starchy Red potatoes are available throughout potatoes. They tend to be long and have the year. a coarse, cork-like skin. They are high in Yukon gold. This variety has a light starch, with a dry, mealy texture; but yellow skin and a rich buttery flavor. they turn light and fluffy when cooked. They are excellent for boiling and mak- They are ideal for baking, mashing, and ing mashed potatoes, but are not as good making french fries. They are light and as russet potatoes for baking. They are fluffy when baked, light and creamy also more expensive than many com- when mashed, and really the only potato mon potato varieties, but the flavor com- worth frying. pensates for the price. Boiling potatoes are also called New potato. Any variety of potato waxy potatoes. They come in a variety that is harvested very early in its of shapes and can be long or round. growth. The waxy skin of these small They have a thin, smooth skin and an potatoes contains a high level of mois- almost waxy flesh. They are relatively ture, while its sweet, tender white flesh high in moisture and sugar, but low in contains a lower level of starch, making starch. They are ideal for soups, it very suitable for boiling. New pota- casseroles, potato salad, roasting, and toes can be boiled, baked, fried, or barbecuing, because of their ability to roasted and are excellent as side dishes hold their shape. or for use in potato salads, soups, stews, There are some potatoes that fall in and casseroles. the middle, or “all-purpose,” category, Fingerling. A small, narrow potato such as the Yukon gold. They are more that is actually a very young tuber. The moist than baking potatoes and will potato has a finger-like appearance hold together in boiling water. They are and a firm texture that varies from particularly well-suited for roasting, pan moist to dry, with a flavor that ranges frying, and using in soups, stews, and from mildly sweet to rich and nutty. gratins. They can be baked, mashed, and Like many other potatoes, the finger- fried, but will not produce the same ling potato can be baked, boiled, fried, 30 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES grilled, roasted, steamed, or sautéed. There are a variety of different fingerling potatoes available. Purple. This unique-tinted variety is a smaller oval-shaped potato with a purplish black outer skin and a vivid purple, dense inner flesh. The odd-col- ored meat adds a distinctive look to any dish. Whatever variety you purchase, store your potatoes in a cool, dry place. They will keep at room temperature for up to two weeks, and longer when stored in cool temperatures. If potatoes are purchased in a plastic bag, remove them from the bag and place them in a basket or similar container so they will have enough air cir- culation. Do not store them in the refrigerator, because the cold temperatures will con- vert the starches into sugar and the potatoes will become sweet and turn a dark color when cooked.

Grilled Potato Salad With Parsley Pesto Ingredients: 1 1⁄2 pounds fingerling potatoes, cut in half lengthwise water 1 Tbsp. salt, plus 1 tsp., plus more for potato water 6 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 1 Tbsp. coarsely ground black pepper, plus 1 tsp. 1 ⁄4 cup pine nuts 1 1⁄2 cups fresh parsley leaves 1 tsp. dried oregano 1 Tbsp. lemon juice 1 Tbsp. chopped garlic 1 Tbsp. capers

Directions: Preheat the grill or grill pan to medium. In a large saucepan, add the potatoes and cover with water. Salt the water and bring to a boil over medium heat. Cook until slightly tender; about 15 to 20 minutes. Remove the potatoes from the water to a bowl and let cool. Season with 3 tablespoons of olive oil, 1 tablespoon of salt, and 1 tablespoon of pepper. Arrange on the pre- heated grill and mark for 1 to 2 minutes on each side. In a small sauté pan, toast the pine nuts over medium heat until lightly browned. Add the parsley, oregano, lemon juice, garlic, capers, 1 teaspoon of both salt and pepper, 3 tablespoons olive oil, and the pine nuts to a food processor. Pulse until the mix- ture forms a smooth paste. Add to the potatoes and toss to coat well. Serve cold or at room temperature.

Eating quality, delicious meals is easy when all the work is done for you. Hire a personal chef to prepare your dinners, Shabbos meals, or small parties. For more information, contact Take Home Chef personal chef services by calling 516-858-0215, writing to [email protected], or visiting www.TakeHomeChef.net. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 31 Shuvu Continued from Page 29 to provide the drinks themselves. Contrast that to what occurred at the hilchos Pesach quiz of Shuvu. The third and fifth place prizes were switched by mistake, awarding the fifth place winner an expensive MP4 and the third place with a less expensive basketball. After enjoying having the MP4 in his possession for a mere few minutes, the fifth place winner realized the mistake and went over to the quiz judges on his own, pointed out the mistake, and exchanged the prizes. The winner of the contest also showed exemplary midos. His first place prize was a very sophisticated camera—something any teenager would crave. But when Yonatan Geinkin noticed how excited the second-place winner was about the camera, he happily switched prizes. Rav Yochanan Reiner, Rebbe in the school and coordinator of the quiz, commented later, “We thought we were emotional seeing the children’s knowledge. But seeing the love between the students and the tremendous midos they displayed after- wards, made us even more emotional. We were holding back our tears.” It is therefore no wonder that parents are knocking on Shuvu’s doors to join the unique network of schools. Even parents initially opposed to their children’s learning about Yiddishkeit, feel it’s “worth the risk of becoming frum,” if their children pick up the Shuvu midos. The quizzes on hilchos Pesach which took place at several of Shuvu’s schools were only the culmination of the intense learning of the halachos which took place at the dozens of Shuvu schools throughout Eretz Yisrael in preparation for the yom tov. As an additional tool to assist the Shuvu teachers in this mission, Shuvu’s educational director, Mrs. Brocha Weinberger, produced another thick volume to add to her series of teachers’ manuals, this one on Pesach. The volumes already published include topics of Chanukah, Purim, Shemittah, and more. These manuals include much information about the subject matter presented in an entertaining way for both the teachers and students, including puzzles, word games, etc. These manuals have been received with extreme enthusiasm by the Shuvu teachers and principals as they make the learning more comprehensive and memorable, in a clear and enjoyable way.

Continued on Page 35 32 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 33 those cakes to justify a warning. If the that some people bake and then tell packaging and labeling were up to me, I themselves—and anyone else who will would alert consumers never to stand listen—that it tastes every bit as good as near a flame after eating a slice! regular bread. I’m here to tell the truth. It Of course this is not a long-lasting does not! Pesach rolls are okay, but let’s problem, since nobody in his right mind not get carried away here. They’re not would eat that stuff once Pesach is over. A great. If they were, people wouldn’t be cake that we consider to be tasty during stocking up on the aforementioned Pesach is treated like poison as soon as snacks as if they were going out of style. Dates And Double Dates yom tov ends. The only sweets that are as Well, it’s here now. The eight days of good after the holiday as they are during Pesach are upon us, and hopefully we’ll For years, I had thought double dating was in advance of the date, and then there are it are the home-baked ones. I don’t know enjoy every one of those days, starting something that happened when two cou- other times that I have found the milk to why this is, but it’s a fact. with the Sedarim. Once again, I must say ples went out to a movie or dinner together. be perfectly fine several days after the that I don’t know many people who are But what was, was. That is no longer what expiration date. What is up with that? happy to have two Seders. Because there double dating means to me. It now has a How is one to know? was once a time when, outside of Israel, totally new meaning, one that has nothing I believe the answer to that last question A cake that we the exact date wasn’t known, people held to do with social dating or couples. is that one is not supposed to know! They two Sedarim. (Again with the double Double dating is something that is don’t want us to know. It’s simply a hoax consider to be tasty dates!) And once we take something printed on milk containers. Whether the perpetrated either by the dairy farmer or the upon ourselves, we’re not supposed to milk is in a plastic bottle or a waxed card- bottler—or maybe both of them. It’s done during Pesach is stop doing it. So two Sedarim it will be for board container, it always has two dates. just to drive me crazy. And it’s working! those of us who don’t live in Israel. One date, the later one, appears to be for Now that it’s erev Pesach, the date non- treated like poison as Personally this will be a very challeng- the rest of the cow-juice-drinking world sense is even more perplexing. I’ve been ing time for me. For the first time in 48 and the second date, the one I usually fail known to pick up a quart of milk on a soon as yom tov ends. years, Hubby will not sit, dressed in his to notice, is for NYC (New York City). That Monday that has a date indicating that it splendid white kittel, at the head of the second date is always several days earlier will be “good” only until Wednesday. But table to conduct our Sedarim. And, speak- than the other. And it drives me crazy. Do not if it’s for Pesach! Oh, no—if it’s for ing once again of dates, our anniversary the cows know something we don’t? Pesach, the product will be good straight I love shopping in the supermarkets would usually fall during Pesach. This year, I’m never sure if I should pay attention through the middle of May. This is true of before Pesach just to see what people are nobody will wish us a happy anniversary to the NYC date. I don’t live in NYC. I live cream cheese, cottage cheese, hard cheeses, stocking up on. From what I’ve observed, as they have every year. But it’s still our on Long Island, so I should be able to eggs, and even milk. The rest of the it appears that people buy five times the anniversary. That won’t change, so: Happy ignore that “short” NYC date. However, I chametz-eating year it doesn’t work like amount of nuts, candy, potato chips, and Anniversary, Arnie; and our entire family live on the most westerly part of the that, and I for one would like to know why. potato sticks before Pesach they buy at will do its best to enjoy the Sedarim as we island outside the five boroughs, and The same is true of cakes for Pesach. any other time of the year. It’s yet anoth- know you would want us to. hence very close to NYC. So what is a per- The hard plastic domes that cover those er sweet mystery of life. Apparently, May we all—every one of us—enjoy son to do? This person is never sure delicious-looking chocolate frosted cakes because there is no bread, there is a need them and have a chag kasher v’sameiach! O about it. But my strong suspicion is that started to appear weeks ago, but their to feed our faces with other satisfying none of the dates means anything—noth- labels indicate that they will be good for snacks. When I refer to not being able to Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and is a licensed real-estate broker associated with ing, zippo, and zero. This is because there several weeks after Pesach ends. My guess eat bread, I mean real, honest-to-good- Marjorie Hausman Realty. She can be reached at are times when I’ve had milk go sour well is that there are enough chemicals in ness bread, not those phony Pesach rolls [email protected] or 516-902-3733.

34 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Shuvu Others burst into tears remembering in Continued from Page 32 the back of their minds the Seder night they had experienced as children in com- Other Chareidi networks have already munist Russia. All expressed sheer delight voiced interest in these unique manuals, at the thought that the chain of tradition realizing the great benefits to be reaped was being connected again. Their chil- from them. dren were already returning home, and If every Jewish child is in need of they knew deep down inside that it was preparatory learning prior to Pesach, at affecting them as well. Shuvu it’s even more crucial. It’s simply At these model Seders Shuvu also imperative to have the students come into distributes packages of matzos, grape the yom tov well prepared. After all, often juice, wine, and Haggadot translated in Shuvu it isn’t the parents who clean the into Russian. Many Shuvu parents sim- house, kasher the kitchen, and run the ply cannot afford these products. Seder, but rather the little kinderlach who Others might have the means but not assume the role of the head of the family. the push or knowledge to go out and Instead of the chiyuv of “V’higadta purchase them. But the little children L’vincha” on leil haSeder, at Shuvu it more are so interested in keeping the commonly becomes a commandment on mitzvos! They are so desperate to also the children of “V’higadta L’avicha.” eat matzah as they were taught in As Shuvu’s founder, HaGaon HaRav school! Can we sit back while they are Avrohom Yaakov HaKohen Pam, zt’l, in need? Thanks to Shuvu’s “Kimcha envisioned, changing a family begins DePischa” program, thousands of with the children. Once the children Jewish families in Eretz Yisrael are able are brought closer to Torah and to eat matzah and other kosher l’Pesach mitzvos through the classrooms, they products during the chag. naturally and subsequently affect their We will sit down shortly and call out: parents as well. “Kol dichphin yeisei v’yeichol,” All who Besides learning the halachos in class, are hungry, let them come and eat. All Shuvu also arranged model Seders in each who are needy, let them come and cele- of its schools during the days before brate Pesach. Pesach vacation. Some schools hosted This is Shuvu’s mantra. They wel- these special meals on Friday mornings come those in need, both educationally while others had them during the and physically. Anyone hungry for evenings. They were scheduled specifical- Yiddishkeit, let them come and eat, with ly to allow working parents to participate the chinuch Shuvu offers. And anyone as well. The family members all sat who is needy physically, let them come around beautifully set tables with matzos, too. All have to know that Shuvu is out wine, charoses, romaine lettuce, and eggs. there for them, to guarantee everyone’s For some parents it was the first time having both a chag kasher and a chag they had ever observed a Seder table. sameiach. O

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 35 Dear Esther, My children are all married, I have a How does someone know when it is fairly good job, and I’ve run out of excus- the right time to pull the plug on a terri- es. And yet, here I am, stuck in the same ble marriage? I think I knew from very situation, living with a man who feels early on that my marriage was not work- like a stranger to me, and I’m not moving ing at all. I never felt loved or happy. forward with my big dream. Without putting too much blame on my I don’t know what I’m waiting for. I husband, I think we were just not meant know I’m not going to get a sign from G- to be a couple. We have very little in com- d anytime soon that it’s time to move on mon and don’t really enjoy one another’s with my life, but somehow I just don’t company. I don’t think either of us is seem to be able to break free from the capable of giving the other one what they inertia that is holding me in place. want or need. My husband is worse than I am. When my children were very young, I Whereas at least I dream about a better told myself that once they were all in life, I don’t think he even thinks about it. school, it would be the perfect time to He seems to have accepted our marriage call it quits. I would be able to go out and for what it is—nothing with nothing— get a job and feel independent. But, of and goes about his business, not thinking course, once I found my youngest in first that maybe we were both meant to live grade, I somehow decided to push off the happier, fuller lives. inevitable and decided I would wait until Sometimes I wish he would beat me or all the bar mitzvahs and bas mitzvahs speak to me abusively, so that I’d have an were behind us. After all, why diminish excuse and a justifiable reason to leave. these important simchas? So I gave But since that’s not the case, and we’re just myself a reprieve. two people who bring nothing into one As you would expect, when I finished another’s lives, it makes it all very hard. with my youngest son’s bar mitzvah, my I’m sure there are women reading my oldest daughter was on the shidduch question and wondering what’s wrong scene, and I felt that it wouldn’t be fair to with me and how dare I complain— her to get divorced at that time. It sudden- women who actually live with abusive ly became the right thing to do to wait men and think that I have no right to be until all of our children were married off, kvetching about my marriage. But what which I did. many people don’t understand is that it’s

36 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES like living with a corpse. There is no emo- Mrs.” might be a perk. Or, a perk may be their own, then I think it is important for that divorce is what you really want. tion between us, certainly no love. I feel having someone to walk into a simcha you to look within yourself for valida- Usually, a life-altering move like get- like I’m starving for companionship but with. A perk may be knowing that you can tion. Only you can truly appreciate the ting divorced is hard to do on one’s own. it’s just not available to me. ask your husband to do the grocery shop- loneliness you are living with. Working with a therapist can help you So getting back to my original ques- ping. Look honestly at yourself and your People may comment, people may see things more objectively, help you tion, how do I light a fire under myself so marriage and determine whether the real judge, people may not understand. But look at how your life may play out, that I can get on with my life? At this reason you haven’t, as you say, “pulled the they are not walking in your shoes; they enable you to act from a place of calm point, I don’t even fantasize about meet- plug” on your marriage is because you are do not know your pain. It’s much easier and conviction, and, finally, empower ing Prince Charming anymore. But noth- still getting something out of it. to devise and execute a plan when you you. And most important, you want to ing is lonelier than being in a room with If you can honestly say that you aren’t aren’t bogged down by worries about make certain that there will be no regrets. someone who barely knows you’re there. getting anything out of your marriage, what other people may say. Work toward Esther I’d much rather be totally alone. How do that you’ve tried everything, and that freeing yourself from those concerns, and I get myself to take the leap? you’re not overly concerned about how you may find that you’re finally able to Esther Mann, LMSW, is a psychotherapist in Lawrence. Esther can be reached at 516-314-2295 Lonely your children will react since they are release the restraints that have been hold- or [email protected]. She works with Dear Lonely, grown up and hopefully have wings of ing you down—again, if you are certain individuals and couples. You pose an interesting question. When is a marriage bad enough to war- rant a divorce? When is it legitimate, understandable, defensible, and necessary? Before I attempt to answer those questions, I have some questions of my own. What is it that you are really looking for from me and from the universe? Is it permission that you are ultimately seeking? Are you hoping for encourage- ment? Do you want some kind of guarantee that your life will be much improved after the deed is done? Do you need affir- mation that no one will blame you for your action? As you well know, divorce is a very serious thing. So first I have to wonder how hard you have tried to find some com- monality between yourself and your husband, way before divorce started feeling like your only solution. As you’ve mentioned, you’re not suffering because of anything that your husband is doing to you, but on the contrary, the lack of anything he could be doing. There is an extreme level of passivity that has clearly taken hold of the two of you, and you’ve both allowed yourselves to slip into your own worlds, giving up on your marriage so very early in the game. As predictable as this question is, I have to ask if the two of you have gone to marriage therapy. Have you worked on yourselves and your marriage? Have you both put out the necessary effort that often res- urrects hopeless marriages like the one you describe? Even the best marriages don’t happen without plenty of effort. Lots of compromising from both husband and wife are called for, and everyone must be willing to go the extra mile to make it work. Otherwise, you’re both just observers of a relationship that never was. If your answer is that you did go to therapy; you did both put out effort; you did both try your hardest to understand and appreciate one another, and still the marriage has no pulse, no life, no glue, then I would say that it’s time to be honest with yourself and figure out what the marriage might be nevertheless offering you, if anything. Perhaps you’re still in the marriage because it offers you some subtle perks that you’re taking for granted. For example, being seen as one half of a “Mr.&

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 37 Fire, Ice, Air: The Memoirs Of Rabbi Simcha Shafran

Second week of October, 1939 (end of Tishrei, 5700) I realize now, 70 years later, how reasonable my parents were that autumn day, and how irrational and stubborn I was. I cannot imagine what made me so determined to board that train and go off to yeshiva. I was 14 years old and had with me only the clothes I was wearing, my

“What is there is what remains vivid in my father’s mind. And I think that gives it a deep resonance.”

tefillin and a few apples my mother had given me. How had I managed to convince my parents to let me leave them and go my own way—a mere month after the out- break of the Second World War, after we had been forced to flee our town and were almost burned alive? Whatever it was that pushed me, it was the last time I would see my mother and father, and it was my refusal to be sensible that saved my life. The above passage begins the narrative of Fire, Ice, Air, the just-published personal recollections of Rabbi Simcha Shafran, shlita. Subtitled “A Polish Jew’s Memoir of Yeshiva, Siberia, America,” the book recounts Rabbi Shafran’s life to date, beginning with his youth in a Polish shtetl; his joining the Novardhok Yeshiva in Vilna shortly after the start of World War II; his sojourn during the war years in a Siberian work camp as part of a group of young men and their rebbe, Rabbi Yehudah Leib Nekritz, zt’l; his more than half-century as rabbi of a Baltimore

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congregation; and his continuing service to the Baltimore community as the administrator of the Baltimore Beis Din and as a rebbe to many local Jews. “It’s a deceptively short book,” says the memoirist’s son, Rabbi Avi Shafran, who assisted in producing the 200-page soft cover book, working largely from inter- views, including one by the Shoah Foundation. “My father refuses to embel- lish, or to imagine things that he cannot remember. And so the book may seem sparse on detail.” “But,” he adds, “that provides it a certain strength and integrity. What is there is what remains vivid in my father’s mind. And I think that gives it a deep resonance.” The book was self-published, the younger Rabbi Shafran notes further, as “publishers are not very interested in memoirs these days.” That is unfortunate, he continues, since “an entire generation of young peo- Pesach Holiday Schedule ple has been born that has very limited We will be closed from Monday, March 29 personal interaction, if any at all, with the and will reopen Wednesday,April 7 generation of Jews who survived the Holocaust years. !jnau raf dj “Fire, Ice, Air aims to do a small part in helping familiarize younger people with, and further educate older ones about, that era, through the story of one man’s life experience to date, in Poland, Siberia, and America. “It is my father’s hope, and mine, that his story will help contemporary readers better understand and appreciate a time in history that is not that far removed in years from today but which, in so many ways, is hard for most of us to even imagine.” Rabbi Shafran’s memoirs were recently published by Hashgacha Press. Inquiries from booksellers can be directed to hash- [email protected]. O

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 39 said, “I want you to lead the Jewish peo- bearing. So why did Hashem feel that it ple out of Mitzrayim,” Moshe refused. He was necessary for him to take out the was afraid that Aharon would feel slight- ashes each day to eliminate arrogance ed. Up until that point, Aharon had been from his heart? The answer to this ques- the leader of the nation, the one who tion is based on understanding the under- brought the word of Hashem to the peo- pinnings of our relationship with ple. Now his younger brother, unheard Hashem. from for 60 years, would usurp that position. As great as Aharon was, Moshe knew that he was still human and would feel The Shmuz On the pain of being displaced. Therefore, Moshe wanted no part of it. The arrogant Hashem explained to Moshe that The Parashah while this might be a well-founded fear in regard to the average person, because of person can’t be Aharon’s great spiritual stature, he was Hashem And Man: each day “to lower himself and rid him- above jealousy and competition, and this a servant of Master And Servant self of the arrogance in his heart.” wouldn’t cause him any pain. He had so B Y R’ BEN TZION SHAFIER This statement seems to imply that eliminated bad character traits from his Aharon was arrogant, and that Hashem heart that he would feel nothing nega- Hashem. The Kohein shall don a garment of felt he needed specific work to get rid of tive. When Moshe assumed this position linen, and he shall don linen breeches on that sense of superiority. It is difficult to and Aharon set out to meet him, the his skin, and he shall remove the ashes. imagine that Aharon HaKohein was a pasuk says, “It was with joy in his heart.” —Vayikra 6:3 haughty individual, particularly when we Hashem was telling Moshe that One of the daily activities in the focus on the Torah’s description of Aharon was in a different category of per- A servant needs a master and a master Mishkan was taking out the ashes. The Aharon. son. He had mastered his nature. He was needs a servant. The Chovos HaLevavos Chovos HaLevavos explains that Hashem A man of sterling character traits. like a malach in human form. Of all men, (Sha’ar HaChnah) explains a basic truism: commanded Aharon to do this action When Hashem appeared to Moshe and Aharon wouldn’t be haughty and over- a servant needs a master, and a master needs a servant. By definition, a servant can’t be a servant without a master, and a master can’t be a master without a servant. They are mutually dependent. With that, he explains the danger of arrogance. The arrogant person feels powerful, mighty, and independent. These are not the traits that one finds in a servant; quite the opposite, these are the traits of supe- riors, people who rule. These are the traits of the master. For that reason, the arrogant person can’t be a servant of Hashem. Hashem alone has the right to wear the trait of ga’avah. He alone is mighty, He alone is powerful, and He alone is independent. Anyone else who harbors these thoughts in his heart is “wearing the King’s robes.” He views himself in a manner that is false and delusional. More significantly, in that state, he cannot serve Hashem. “How can a person as mighty, significant, and important as I possibly have a master? I am the master!” For this reason, arrogance utterly skews the relationship of man with his Creator. Its opposite, humility, is central to all avodas Hashem. In no sense was Aharon haughty or overbearing; he was among the most modest of men. The problem was that his role required even more. As the representative of the nation, he was going into the Holiest of the Holies; any imperfection in his intentions would have spelled an imperfect avodah, so he needed to be perfect in his humility.To attain that state, he needed a physical exercise. He had to, so to speak, take out the garbage each day. By doing this, any trace of independ- ence was eliminated from his heart, and he was able to reach that most elusive understanding: “I am utterly, completely, and totally dependent upon Hashem. I am the creation, and He is my Creator.” As great as Aharon was, he still needed improvement in this area, and it was only through concrete, physical actions that he could reach a state of true humility. Humility is the core of being an eved Hashem. All of our avodas Hashem hinges upon accepting Hashem as our Master. While we may not be haughty, unless we have worked on acquiring humility there will be trace elements of arrogance in our hearts, and these will greatly impede our 40 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES being subservient to Hashem. They stop us from standing as servants in front of our Master. The only way to achieve true humility is by being exposed to life situations that allow us to grow in humility. By being sub- jected to the various situations in life, where we come to recognize that we are not mighty, powerful, and independent, the reality starts to seep in: I am a mere mortal. Here for a few short years, unable to even control my own existence, I am but a creation dependent upon my Master for my very existence. To help us grow, Hashem will often custom-tailor situations for us. Not every circumstance in life is pleasant, and not every condition is something we would wish for. Some situations may be demeaning. It may feel like you are being asked to take out the garbage. You might even feel indignant. “Hashem, why are You subjecting me to this? What have I done wrong to deserve this?” The answer may well be nothing. It wasn’t something wrong that you did that brought this about. Rather, it was something you did right, some merit that you have that allowed you to have this opportunity to acquire that rare com- modity—humility. Recognizing our need for situations that bring us to a sense of dependence upon Hashem can help us understand life, and then we can use these situations to grow and to accomplish our purpose in Creation. As there is much discussion in the sefarim equating getting rid of chametz with ridding ourselves of the haughtiness in our hearts, this is an appropriate concept for Shabbos HaGadol. O

For more on this topic, please listen to Shmuz #59: Humility—An Issue of Perspective. The Shmuz, an engaging and motivating Torah lecture that deals with real-life issues, is available free at www.TheShmuz.com. The Shmuz on the Parsha book, a compilation on all of Chumash, is now available for purchase in your local sefarim store and at TheShmuz.com.

For the next issue, appearing April 9, deadline for all graphics for ads must be in by Wednesday, April 7 at 12:00 P.M. Call 516-984-0079

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 41 This One Is Free

There is an old joke: A doctor on his desk. approaches a lawyer in shul and com- So why am I telling you this joke? plains to him that every time he comes Because I am regularly approached by into shul, he always approached by people asking me a variety of real-estate someone wanting him to give them a questions, such as, “Where do you think

I do not think we can really call a real-estate market that has lots of people out there buying houses a “down” real-estate market.

free checkup in shul. The lawyer told the real-estate market is going in the Five him, “I used to have the same problem Towns today?”; “Do you think I should also. Then one time after a guy asked put my house on the market now or wait me for advice, I sent him a bill and he awhile?”; or “How much do you think I never asked me again.” The doctor can get for my house?” thanked him and thought this was a Now let me answer some of these great idea. Monday, when he went back questions that I’ve been asked—free of to work, he found a bill from the lawyer charge!

42 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

As to where the real-estate market is going this spring, this is an answer that requires some multifaceted replies. On the one hand, in some areas of the Five Towns, we are finding ourselves with a lack of houses for sale for the numbers of buyers out there who are ready, able, and willing to buy houses as soon as they can find the right house at the right location. On the other hand, even when those houses do become available and sell, they are not selling at anywhere near the prices sellers were receiving several years ago at the height of the market, and it does not look as if those prices are climbing or will be climbing back up there anytime soon. Does this mean the real-estate market is down? I do not think we can really call a real-estate market that has lots of people out there buying houses a “down” real-estate market, and yet with prices still fluctuating the way they are, what kind of market would you call it? It is possible that at least for the next few years the market will not be one in which if you wait it out prices will go back up. Home prices will in all probabil- ity continue to fluctuate, hopefully in the range of where they are today and, if anything, just tighten themselves up within the next few years. The days of huge jumps in house values will, for the present and probably for the next five to 10 years, not be something just around the bend. Those hoping to wait it out will, like everyone else, have to make peace with the values being what they are presently in the neighborhood. I hope to see those of you staying in town enjoying Pesach—preferably with the 70-degree weather we have had recently. And for those going away for yom tov, enjoy! O

Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a licensed real-estate broker and a licensed N.Y.S. mortgage broker with over 20 years of experience, offering full-service residential and commercial real-estate services (Anessa V Cohen Realty) and mortgaging services (First Meridian Mortgage) in the Five Towns and throughout the tri-state area. She can be reached at 516-569-5007 or via her website, www.AVCrealty.com. Readers are encouraged to send questions or comments to [email protected].

And the fire upon the Altar shall be kept burning in it… and the kohen shall burn wood on it every morning (Vayikra 6:5)

There is a fire of love for G-d that burns within every soul. It is the task of the “Kohen”—the spiritual leaders of the generation— to feed and preserve this fire.

(Alshich)

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 43 What’s With The Fours?

B Y RABBI AVI SHAFRAN

Despite the late hour and exhaustion (not to mention wine), many a Jewish mind has wondered long and hard during a Passover Seder about all the Haggadah’s “fours.” Four questions, four sons, four expressions of redemption, four cups. There’s clearly a numerical theme here.

We are teachers, to be sure, but it is not information that we are communicating; it is identity.

The Haggadah, of course, is no mere collection of random readings and songs; it is a subtle and wondrous educational tool, with profound Jewish ideas layered through its seemingly simple text. The rabbis who formulated its core, already extant in pre-Talmudic times, wanted it to serve to plant important concepts in the hearts and minds of its readers—especially its younger ones, toward whom the Seder, our tradition teaches, is aimed. And so the author of the Haggadah employed an array of pedagogical methods, including songs, riddles, and puzzles, as means of conveying deeper understandings. And he left us some clues, too. When it comes to the ubiquitous “fours,” we might begin by considering the essential fact that Passover is when the Jewish people’s identity is solemnly perpetuated; through observance of the Seder, each Jewish generation inculcates our collective history and essence in the next. This is likely a large part of the reason so many Jewish parents who are alienated from virtually every other Jewish observance still feel compelled to have at least some sort of Seder, to read a Haggadah, or even—if they have strayed too far from their heritage to comfortably confront the original—to compose their own. (I once joked before an audience that a “Vegetarian Haggadah” would likely appear any year now, and someone in attendance later showed me precisely such a book—though it lacked the “Paschal turnip”I had imagined.) And so the role we adults play on Pesach night, vis-à-vis the younger Jews with whom we share the experience, is a very specific one. We are teachers, to be sure, but it is not information that we are communicating; it is identity. At the Seder, in other words, we seek to instill in our children the realization that they are not mere individuals but rather parts of a people, members of a nation unconstrained by geographical bound-

Continued on Page 48 44 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 45 46 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 47 Fours is in fact dependent on mothers. While a Continued from Page 44 Jew’s tribal genealogy follows the pater- nal line, whether a child is a member of aries but linked by history and destiny. the Jewish people or not depends entire- We impress on them the fact that they ly on the status of his or her mother. are links in a shimmering, ethereal chain It’s only speculation, but the recurrent stretching back to the birth of the Jewish numerical theme in our exquisite nation, to when our people was divinely Haggadah, employed each year to instill redeemed from mundane slavery in Jewish identity, might be reminding us of Egypt and entered a sublime servitude of that. After all, the Haggadah has its own a very different sort—to G-d—at Sinai. number-decoder built right in, toward its So, on Passover, as we celebrate the end, where most good books’ keys and birth of the Jewish nation and plant the indexes are found. We’re a little hazy once seed of Jewish identity in the minds of it’s reached, after four cups of wine, but smaller Jews, we are giving life—giving it’s unmistakably there: “Echad Mi Yodea” birth, one might say—to the Jewish or “Who Knows One?”?the song that pro- future. And, while it may be the father vides Jewish associations with numbers. who traditionally leads the Seder, he is “Who knows four?” acting not as teacher but rather in some- If you don’t, you can look it up. O thing more akin to a maternal role, as a © 2010 Am Echad Resources. Rabbi Shafran is spiritual nurturer of the children present. director of public affairs for Agudath Israel of According to halachah, Jewish identity America. The above essay was distributed in 2003.

48 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 49 adherence to the highest standards of Add orange juice and bake covered at 1 kashrus, “Pesach is even more strin- 350° for 1 to 1 ⁄2 hours. O gent,” says one of the mashgichim. To further offer its customers the ulti- David A. Adler To Receive mate kashrus standards for Pesach, the Author Of The Year Award food that the fowl are fed the entire year At AOJT Luncheon, April 25 is natural and healthy, making it accept- The Association of Orthodox Jewish able to those who do not want to eat Teachers of the New York City Public KJ Poultry Company Passover under the direction of the rav poultry on Pesach because of the feeding Schools is delighted to announce that Standards Go Above And Beyond hamachshir, Harav Hagaon Reb Getzel regimen that includes chametz. David A. Adler has been selected to It was just after Purim that KJ Poultry Berkowitz, shlita, observed every step of Joel Weiss, manager of KJ Poultry, receive the prestigious Author of the stopped production for a day to thor- the koshering process, assuring that says that he recognizes the desire of Year Award at its 40th annual luncheon oughly clean and kasher the facility in every nook and cranny had been thor- people to truly have a “kosher Pesach.” which will take place on Sunday after- preparation for its mehadrin kosher oughly cleaned. The cleaning itself was He adds, “The people who work at KJ act noon, April 25 at 12:00 p.m. at the l’Pesach production. This is an extraordi- done by religious people from the com- as if they were preparing their own Renaissance in Brooklyn. nary measure for a plant that is devoid of munity who live only a stone’s throw kitchens and the food they eat in their Mr. Adler is receiving this award for his chametz all year. from the plant in Monroe. Although KJ own homes.” Recognizing that poultry outstanding contributions as a children’s A team of rabbonim and mashgichim, Poultry is known for its meticulous products are an important part of cele- author, as well as his role in the further- brating the yom tov, KJ Poultry is pro- ance of Holocaust education. He has writ- ducing a full complement of its quality ten many books on the subject for young poultry products, including its highly readers. He is also known for his picture- touted chicken cutlets. book biography series. This series is a KJ Poultry products are available in well-researched, strictly non-fiction series most kosher supermarkets as well as designed for elementary school readers. large supermarkets with offerings of Mr. Adler has also written more than 50 strictly kosher (mehadrin) products. mysteries in his well-known series featuring Cam Jansen. His books, totaling 200, Dark Chicken Goulash or Slices are widely used in schools and libraries Ingredients: nationally and internationally. 1 lb. dark chicken goulash (or dark We invite you to celebrate his success chicken slices) by attending the luncheon and/or plac- 2 onions ing a congratulatory ad in the souvenir 1 Tbsp. vegetable oil (or schmaltz) journal. Proceeds from the journal will 3/4 cup of orange juice provide funding for Jewish education 1 cup potato starch programs and camp scholarships for Directions: indigent public school students to expe- Sauté onions in schmaltz or oil. rience their Jewish heritage. The dead- Coat goulash or slices with potato line for luncheon reservations and/or starch. journal ads is April 12. Put sautéed onions and dark chicken For information and journal rates Kashering for Pesach at the KJ Poultry plant. slices in a 9" x 13" pan. please call 718-258-3585. O

50 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Mesivta Ateres Yaakov— by many law schools and gradu- for his future parnasah. When Middleneck Road, Sands Point, Purim mask decorations to Division Champs! ate schools in New York and he chooses, he can go on to 11050. On the walk, educators counting pennies in flour, the For the second time in three across the country. Best of all, graduate school or law school, will discuss children’s young boys enjoyed a day of years, Mesivta Ateres Yaakov the program is affordable and or even pursue an MBA. Holocaust experiences and fun and friendship. students distinguished them- can be easily completed in one For further information informal conversations with Ohel Bais Ezra would like to selves in the Yeshiva Torah and a half years. about this dynamic program, Holocaust survivors will be thank all the boys that helped Bowl League. Showing their Yeshiva Yesod Yosef is conve- visit www.yesodyosef.com. O held. Participants are then prepare for the carnival especial- breadth and depth of knowl- niently located in Inwood, invited to join a memorial con- ly Yoni Rudansky and Moshe edge, the mesivta once again New York. The yeshiva has two An Event To Remember To cert featuring musical presenta- Daphna for helping and devot- was crowned champions in the serious sedarim a day where a Honor The Children Of The tions by children’s groups. O ing their free time to make the Eastern Division. Rabbi talmid can learn and take state- Holocaust, April 25 carnival such a success. Ohel Mordechai Yaffe, the mesivta’s certified exams to earn credits On Sunday, April 25, at 12:00 Ohel: Recent Events Bais Ezra would also like to menahel said, “Aside from the toward a degree from Excelsior p.m. join “A Walk to MAY Carnival. Over 25 thank Rabbi Mordechai Yaffe pride we feel in the accom- College. The rebbeim have Remember,” honoring the young boys with developmen- and Mr. Michael Salzbank for plishment of winning the divi- many years of experience in memory of the children killed tal disabilities from Brooklyn, their time in ensuring that the sion two out of the three years career counseling and prepar- in the Holocaust. The walk will Queens, and Long Island cele- event went so smoothly. in which we have been coming talmidim for life after take place on the magnificent brated together with 15 stu- Malky Giniger’s Musical ‘Lost peting, we are particularly yeshiva. The degree can be 247-acre Welwyn Preserve, dents from Mesivta Ateres & Found.’ On March 14, thirteen proud that the talmidim in our completed in a fraction of the home of the Holocaust Yaakov at their second annual girls and young women from team are completely self-moti- time and cost of a private col- Memorial and Tolerance Center Shushan Purim Carnival. The Ohel Bais Ezra’s recreation pro- vated towards this achieve- lege. After completing the proof Nassau County. Simul- day included games and activi- gram performed in front of two ment. They prepare independ- gram, the student can be taneously, a walk will be held ties, cotton candy and festive ently and strategize to maxi- assured that he has a direction at the Sands Point Preserve, 127 food for the participants. From Continued on Page 52 mize their mastery of the material. They serve as true role models for their peers as schol- ars of a superior caliber and they are a tremendous source of nachas.” Congratulations to Aaron Bortz, Aryeh Eckhaus, Chezky Glatt, Gavi Kadish, Eli Portal, Netanel Rosenzweig, Yoni Rudansky, Dovi Sturm, and Motti Sturm. O

Resolving The Post-High- School/Yeshiva Quandary By Chaim Weiss Orthodox Jewish families face a quandary when it comes to their sons’ post-high-school education. On the one hand, they want them to get both a college education and a graduate degree in their chosen discipline. On the other hand, the dangers of full-time college for the spiritual development of our sons are quite real. It is an unspoken reality that many boys, even those that come back from a year in a yeshiva in Israel, are just not ready for the atmosphere of a full-time secular college. Parents often feel stuck. They do not want—and their children do not want—full-time yeshiva. They also do not want full-time college. Decades ago, there were yeshivas that accom- modated the schedule of the boy that wanted to go to a full college program. But, on account of the polarization that has developed in our community, such yeshivas hardly exist. Until now, that is. Rabbi Dovid Rhodes, a seasoned and well-respected rosh yeshiva and educator with a track record of success, has developed a unique new yeshiva program. It is designed specifically for a young man who would like to go to law school or seek another profes- sion, yet at the same time receive a solid grounding in Torah hashkafah and knowledge. The program for the Yesod Yosef Yeshiva is accredited, and its degree program is accepted 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 51 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS formed. Several of the girls performed Continued from Page 51 solos, and all had an opportunity to grow and shine from this wonderful musical. packed houses of audiences in the One of the theme songs/dances of the Kingsborough College Performing Arts evening was entitled, “If you believe it, Center in Malky Giniger’s Ratzon Music you can achieve it.” Kudos to the Ratzon Program performance, Lost & Found. This staff, Ohel Bais Ezra staff, and volunteers new original musical drama featured live for believing in the skills and talent of music, dance, and song. the clients and helping them to achieve This year was unique in that a number this goal! of Ohel Bais Ezra clients trained along Mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and sis- with over 200 other talented youngsters ters of the Ohel Bais Ezra clients joined and adults from the Ratzon Program for for a post-show dinner celebration that this gala performance. After weeks and featured delicious food and clips of the months of practicing, the girls took the girls practicing their songs and dances as audience by storm as they danced and well as their recording live in a profes- sang with confidence to the music and sional recording studio for the CD presen- tune of Ivdu Es Hashem B’Simcha. They tation. Parents, staff, volunteers, and the truly personified simcha and creative self- At the MAY/Ohel carnival (L–R): Moshe Daphna, Izzy Vinisky, Eli Feder, Moshe Lehman, Gavriel Ohel performers were thrilled to be a part expression last Sunday as they per- Guttman, Eli Beinstock, Moshe Saifer, Abie Daphna, Yaakov Bressler, Yaakov Engelberg. of this live musical presentation.

At the Ohel Bais Ezra “Appreciation Evening” ceremonies for staff and volunteers. Events were held separately for men and women.

52 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES In the words of one of the parents from them…” take place on Tuesday, April 13, 11:00-12:30 expected of b’nei Torah. whose daughter performed, “You have no Ezra Daitchman, Heshy Kornfeld, and p.m., in Bikur Cholim of Boro Park, 5216 Rabbi Hersh is aware that there is a idea what this Ohel Bais Ezra show did Yoni Rudansky were the three special 11th Avenue, and will be free of charge. strong need for a camp geared specifical- for my daughter and for all our family. honorees and Jeffrey Goldgrab, Moshe Come hear interesting guest speakers and ly for junior-high-school boys. Many par- She goes around the house singing Ivdu Daphna, and Zelig Breban received have opportunities to meet others who ents feel that sleepaway camp is ideal for all day and I can’t thank Ohel Bais Ezra awards for their unique dedication to understand, while enjoying a light, a frum child growing up in New York. enough for all they do.” Ohel Bais Ezra’s recreation programs. healthy snack. For more information, Rebbeim bemoan the fact that young Proceeds of the show benefited the A beautiful multimedia show depict- please leave a message for Yafa at 718-438- bachurim who remain in the “city” over children and families of Ohel Bais Ezra. ing pictures over the years of the many 2020, ext. 7451, and tell her the most pri- the summer without being part of a pro- The CD of the show is available in local volunteers that have walked through the vate way to reach you. This project is gram often experience a decline in their bookstores. doors of Ohel Bais Ezra was created for sponsored by the Caring Commission of ruchniyus. Appreciation Evenings For Staff And both events by Batsheva Gutwirth. the UJA Federation of Greater NY. O It is quite difficult for a young bachur Volunteers. Ohel nurtures a deeply appre- At both events, volunteers were award- to stay motivated without being in a ciative environment where they believe ed the new Ohel Bais Ezra sweatshirts Raves For Camp Areivim structured environment. However, there there is an exciting volunteer opportuni- that reflected the new branding and the This year will iy’H be the inaugural are many older boys that do not go to ty for everyone! Hundreds of staff and new tag of “Elevating Lives Every Day.” summer for Camp Areivim for boys sleepaway camp yet want to have a place volunteers attended Ohel Bais Ezra’s two Because Ohel serves the entire lifespan going into 6th grade and up. Camp that is geared specifically for them. This is appreciation evenings held separately for of the community, in addition to child- Areivim is under the leadership of two where Camp Areivim comes into play. men and women volunteers and staff. centric volunteer activities, there are a veteran and dynamic rebbeim: Rabbi “We are planning an amazing program Both evenings were an important oppor- range of other opportunities from work- Yaakov Hersh of Yeshiva Ketana of Long that is structured specifically for the older tunity for Ohel Bais Ezra to give thanks to ing with young adults to senior citizens. Island and Rabbi Avi Taub of Yeshiva boy, with the feel and ruach of an the many dedicated volunteers and recog- Whether you seek to share a special skill Darchei Torah. overnight camp. There is also no doubt nize the particular achievements of cer- or gift of yours with others, whether you Camp Areivim is an innovate new that with the camp day spanning from tain individuals. wish to work with people or in an office, camping experience that will include a 9:00 a.m. till 5:30 p.m., it will have the The women’s evening began with whether you want to volunteer with daily regimen of exciting sports leagues, boys enjoying themselves for the better inspiring words of chizuk from Rabbi young or old, your time at Ohel will not trips, swimming, four sensational part of the day and will keep the parents Dovid Goldwasser. Honorees included six only bring warmth, comfort, and friend- overnights, and everything in between! happy as well,” exclaims Rabbi Taub. volunteers as well as Leah Markovic and ship to another, but it will forever enrich Transportation will be provided, along For the past 15 years, whether as a rebbi Avigail Silberman who were instrumental your own. The life you change may be with delicious hot catered lunches. The of 5th-grade boys or head counselor of in starting many volunteer recreational your own! To get involved, please contact camp will be based in the brand-new spa- camps in Cleveland, Ohio, and Russia, programs. Ohel Bais Ezra thanks Rabbi 1-800-603-OHEL or e-mail volunteers@ cious campus of the Yeshiva Ketana of Rabbi Hersh has worked tirelessly to fur- Schapiro from Bnos Leah Prospect Park ohelfamily.org. O Long Island. The staff will include fun, ther growth in all his talmidim and Yeshiva for being so accommodating. lebidike counselors and experienced campers throughout the year and sum- The men’s evening, which took place Friendship Gathering For Frum mechanchim. mer. “What a child accomplishes during at Agudath Yisrael Snif Zichron Shmuel, Women With Cancer, April 13 With over 25 years of combined the year can be worth more than double brought together volunteers from Bikur Cholim of Boro Park, in partner- teaching and camping experience, if it comes with a successful summer,” Brooklyn, Queens, Long Island, Monsey, ship with Sharsheret and CancerCare, Rabbis Hersh and Taub have imbued says Rabbi Hersh. and Passaic. The boys were genuinely hosts monthly friendship gatherings for countless children with a love for learn- For more information or to apply, surprised when they received the invita- frum women who are currently in treat- ing and a desire for growth, while at the please call 516-965-3612. O tion—as one volunteer said, “Will there ment or have been in treatment for can- same time instilling within them the be any kids there? We gain so much cer. The next confidential meeting will proper middos and behavior that is Continued on Page 54

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 53 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Rabbi Abramowitz declared, “Just as D’Malchusa”—“Laws of the State” legal Brooklyn lawyer who counsels clients Continued from Page 53 the Jewish people needed more opportu- seminar for businesses, to take place at regarding business and compliance nities to become familiar with Tanach Agudath Israel Bais Binyomin, 2913 issues. Topics will be addressed from the OU To Debut Taryag, and Shnayim Mikra, they should also Avenue L in Brooklyn, Sunday morning, perspective of both New York State and Daily Explanations Of The 613 have the opportunity to become better April 18, 10:15 a.m.– 12:45 p.m. Federal law. Commandments acquainted with the 613 commandments The seminar is intended for anyone Topics will include: business start-up The Orthodox Union has long been of the Torah. It’s not enough just to know involved in the administration, owner- considerations; state and local licensing helping those in the Jewish community how many mitzvos there are; we have to ship, or control of a for-profit enterprise requirements; choosing entity names; access concise, daily lessons in Nach internalize them if we want to under- of any kind. It will be geared for the pro- the differences between a Sole Yomi—the biblical books of Nevi’im (the stand how they impact our daily lives.” fessional as well as the layman and will Proprietorship, LLC, Corporation, and S Prophets) and Kesuvim (the Writings)— Rabbi Steven Burg, managing director be valuable for those who have long Corporation; adequate capitalization of and Shnayim Mikra, an online Torah- of the OU said, “We’re so pleased to be been in business as well as for those just a business; observing corporate formal- study program that derives its name from able to offer this program. The Taryag starting out. ities; the need for and means of obtain- “shnayim mikra v’echad targum,” the obli- mitzvos are one of those things that most The seminar will focus on myriad ing an EIN; business bookkeeping; gation to review the weekly Torah por- people know far more about than they issues that regularly arise in a business accepting payments in cash; the han- tion twice in the original and once in actually know. The sefirah period, leading context. A committee of local business dling of deposits and disbursements; translation. Now, the OU will focus on up to the holiday commemorating the leaders has reviewed the agenda to common legal pitfalls, and issues of helping those in the community learn Jewish nation receiving the Torah at Har ensure that the most relevant issues will personal liability. more about the 613 commandments of Sinai, is the perfect time to prepare our- be adequately covered. The seminar will also address New the Torah when it debuts its newest ini- selves for this undertaking.” “This will be a hands-on seminar York Unemployment Insurance require- tiative, Taryag (the acronym for 613), Rabbi Abramowitz will be utilizing the designed to be useful to the sophisticated ments, Workers’ Compensation require- which will allow people to sign up to Rambam’s Sefer HaMitzvos (Book of the Manhattan businessperson and the two- ments, disability requirements, employee receive daily e-mails with concise but Commandments) as he writes each daily man shop alike,” says Yehuda Kupfer, compensation options (e.g. W-2 vs. 1099), insightful explanations of the command- e-mail; Sefer HaChinuch (the Book of Esq., the Agudath Israel lawyer who operating a safe working environment, ments from the Torah. Education) and Sefer Hamitzvos organized the seminar. and employee privacy laws. Rabbi Jack Abramowitz, OU associate Hakatzar (the Abridged Book of “The attorneys on the panel will seek Also to be covered are labor and director of the Pepa and Rabbi Joseph Commandments) of the Chofetz Chaim to clarify the rules surrounding the kinds employment law, including laws perti- Karasick Department of Synagogue are also sources that will be used. Rabbi of issues businesspeople face on a daily nent to seeking, interviewing, and hiring Services, will author the daily e-mails, Abramowitz is the author of The Nach basis,” he continues. “This is one seminar employees; the differences between at- which will be presented in the order of Yomi Companion, volumes 1 and 2, and no business owner or administrator can will employment and employee con- the mitzvos of the Torah and will be sent The Shnayim Mikra Companion. afford to miss.” tracts; maintaining employee personnel out for 613 weekdays, excluding Jewish For more information, contact A well-known Brooklyn legal profes- files and employee handbooks; discrimi- and some secular holidays. People will be [email protected] or visit www.ou.org. O sional, after reviewing the agenda, nation, harassment, and retaliation; min- able to sign up on the OU’s website, remarked that he expected to learn new imum wage and overtime issues; sick and www.ou.org/taryag, and will begin receiv- First-Of-Its-Kind “Laws Of The things himself from the seminar, which personal days; different benefit plans for ing the daily e-mails after Shavuos, the State” Legal Seminar For he characterized as something “long different employees; employee reviews, holiday commemorating the revelation Businesses, April 18 overdue.” discipline, and termination. of the Torah at Sinai. The public is Expanding its broad efforts to educate The seminar will be addressed by Over the past months, Agudath Israel encouraged to register for this program the Orthodox community about the intri- Sylvan J. Schaffer, Esq., a labor/employ- has presented a number of conferences online during the Sefiras HaOmer period cacies of the law of the land, Agudath ment lawyer at Jackson Lewis LLP in between Passover and Shavuos. Israel of America will be hosting a “Dina Manhattan; and Stanley P. Kupfer, Esq., a Continued on Page 56

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54 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 55 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS “During these difficult economic Continued from Page 54 times, we are especially grateful to those who came forward to make this hap- and seminars to yeshivas, charitable pen,” remarked Alexander Rapaport, funds, and shuls on an assortment of executive director of Masbia. “Opening legal topics. Drawing hundreds of atten- this kitchen in Queens is building on our dees, those seminars have included: char- track record of making a real difference itable funds workshops in Borough Park in people’s lives.” and Lakewood; a community-wide legal William Rapfogel, CEO and executive seminar in Los Angeles; a tax conference director of Met Council, called the for yeshiva administrators and their opening of the soup kitchen “an amaz- accountants in Flatbush; and a seminar ing opportunity” to help the needy in dealing with legal issues pertinent to New York. “With the generous leader- shuls at Agudath Israel’s most recent ship of Henry Orenstein and communi- national convention. ty collaboration, we will help hundreds, The need for a seminar like the upcom- perhaps thousands, of hungry Queens’ ing one soon became obvious. individuals to get a warm, nourishing “After presenting seminars for various meal,” said Rapfogel. institutions and representatives,” says Henry Orenstein, benefactor of the Orenstein Emergency Food Kitchens Network, speak- The renovation of the site was provid- Rabbi Chaim Dovid Zwiebel, Agudath ing at the opening of Masbia on Queens Boulevard. Also pictured are Willie Rapfogel, CEO ed by a family who wishes to remain Israel’s executive vice president, “we and executive director of the Metropolitan Council on Jewish Poverty; Menashe Silver and anonymous, and operational costs of the were contacted by many members of the Alexander Rapaport of Masbia; Yisrael Laub, the mashgiach and manager of the Queens soup kitchen will be covered by Henry community requesting a similar seminar site; Eitan Dreyfus; and Jack Feigenbaum, board member of Masbia Queens. Orenstein, longtime supporter and friend for the typical business person. Well, of Met Council. The family chose the this is it. location of the Queens site in Rego Park “We are confident,” he continues, “that Community Kitchen, located in Rego unique for its fine décor and dignified based on Met Council’s demographic data the information shared at this seminar Park, will meet the needs of all hungry atmosphere—more similar to a restau- on where the neediest communities live. will save many much time, expense and individuals and will serve 100% glatt rant than a soup kitchen—and for the The Queens Community Kitchen is the heartache in the future.” O kosher food, helping especially those who way it helps maintain the privacy and dig- fourth kitchen in the Masbia network keep kosher and aren’t served by other nity of guests. The site, which can seat 40 and the third collaborative effort with Kosher Soup Kitchen Opens soup kitchens. people at once, will be open Met Council. Existing Community On Queens Boulevard Henry Orenstein, the donor for whom Sunday–Thursday from 4:00–9:00 p.m., Kitchens are in Boro Park, Flatbush, and On Wednesday of last week, a store- the kitchen is named, said in his remarks, and will provide a freshly cooked meal Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The front on Queens Boulevard was inaugu- “There are two types of people who go to served by volunteer waiters to all who are Williamsburg and Flatbush sites were rated as the first kosher soup kitchen in soup kitchens. One type is too hungry hungry. Mr. Rapaport, executive director both opened in November, and are cur- Queens. Local elected officials, philan- and too down to care about where they of Masbia, says that they can serve up to rently serving close to 100 meals per site. thropist Henry Orenstein, and communi- are, and the second type still has dignity ten shifts a night, and that waiting guests Present at the opening were ty leaders joined Masbia and Metro- and embarrassment. That’s the difference can stand in a specially outfitted foyer, Councilwoman Karen Koslowitz, who politan Council on Jewish Poverty (Met about this soup kitchen—it allows peo- intended to protect people from having welcomed the Community Kitchen to Council) at the opening. ple to retain their dignity.” to stand in an embarrassing bread line on Queens, as well as many local rabbis and The Orenstein–Met Council–Masbia Besides its kosher status, the kitchen is the street. agency directors, including Cynthia

56 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Zalisky of the Queens Jewish Community Council, a local social services agency and Met Council affiliate that is working to publicize the Community Kitchen to local families. Also present were representatives for Assemblyman David Weprin and Assemblywoman Nettie Mayersohn, and board members of the Queens site: Irving Laub, Helen Schmutter, and Claire Feigenbaum, along with their families. O

Lev Tova At HASC Center: Home Is Where The Heart Is Avrom and Chana, parents to Esti, a child with multiple disabilities, explains, “We never had a Shabbos table with can- dlesticks, silver, or glassware. Our Esti would break everything, so we kept the bare minimum on the table. Our first Shabbos experience with real cutlery, glassware, and Shabbos lecht was the Shabbos that HASC Center took our daughter on a Nofesh Shabbaton in Upstate NY. A simple Shabbos meal was transformed into an emotional experience all because we could beautify our Shabbos table.” We all need a break from time to time. Many of us rely on family and neighbors to help out when we are tired, over- whelmed, busy with a simcha, having a baby, or going through a challenging time. It’s usually a matter of a phone call, details, and arrangements are made. That’s not the way it is for a family of a special-needs child. “My friends make plans and are able to find care for their children. Our extended families and neighbors can’t handle the complex day to day needs of our child. Only HASC Center can.” To date, there has been nowhere for parents like Avrom and Chana to leave their children for that little bit of time away. Parents have reached out over the years, asking for an opportunity beyond those three weekends a year, an option to plan their time away—be it Shabbos, yom tov, a short stay, or any week throughout the year. HASC Center answered the call and took quite an innovative step by creating Lev Tova at HASC Center, the very first frum respite home in the Greater New York area for children with special needs and disabilities, HASC Center has developed this new facility in a manner that reaches far beyond the standard model of care. Like a hotel, parents will be able to call in reservations for their children and make arrangements in accordance with their needs. This beautiful home, located in the heart of Midwood, Brooklyn, will be supervised 24 hours a day with exception- ally motivated and experienced staff. During the week, the children will be escorted to their respective schools. After school, they will return to the aroma of a home-cooked meal, fun-filled activities and trips, and the warm and personal care for which HASC Center has been known. On Shabbos, the aroma of chu- lent and the ruach of a Shabbos tish, the staff singing zemiros and dancing will all be part of the Shabbos experience. The children will be entertained in the highly specialized state of the art Snoezleen playroom loaded with sensory and tactile equipment including a ball pit, soft rock-

Continued on Page 60 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES HEALTH SECTION March 26, 2010 57 was what she wanted. The son lacked the tated patients. In the past, only where Agudath Israel Stresses Importance signed health care proxy that would have there was “clear and convincing evidence” made him the decision-maker for his that the patient himself would have Of Halachic Living Wills mother’s treatment, and the law did not directed the termination of life support identify who else should assume that could such treatment have been withheld In an ominous new development, New Until now, he explains, New York State role. And so the hospital simply dis- or withdrawn. As the state’s highest court York State law has now vastly expanded the law offered no mechanism for determin- missed the son’s protest. put it, “Nothing less than unequivocal authority of health care providers to “pull ing who should make health care deci- Under the newly enacted law, if a proof will suffice when the decision to the plug” on incapacitated patients—even sions for an unconscious patient who did patient does not designate an agent in to withhold from them food and water, not designate anyone to make decisions writing, a designated-by-law relative or thereby causing them to starve to death. should he or she be in such a state. That friend of the patient is automatically “Many doctors and Governor David Paterson has signed void did create problems, as evidenced by assigned the power to act as the patient’s into law the Family Health Care a case brought to Agudath Israel’s atten- “surrogate” and make whatever health hospitals are no longer Decisions Act, over the strong opposition tion a year ago. care decisions on his behalf. of Agudath Israel of America and other A New York hospital placed a “Do Not But the new law creates its own prob- committed to the groups who consider it an attack on Resuscitate,” or DNR, order on an elderly lems—some of them quite serious from patients’ rights and personal autonomy. Orthodox Jewish woman’s medical chart the perspective of an observant Jew or concept of the sanctity According to Rabbi Mordechai Biser, and then allegedly administered mor- anyone who feels that preservation of of human life.” associate general counsel of Agudath phine to hasten her death, over the even compromised life is a moral man- Israel, the law, which the medical estab- strong objections of her son, her primary date. It radically alters the position the lishment promoted for 17 years, was caregiver. The hospital claimed that the New York courts have taken for over 20 designed in part for a beneficial purpose. woman had told its personnel that this years regarding decisions about incapaci- terminate life support is at issue.” The new law abolishes that standard, empowering a surrogate—even one never chosen by the patient—to make life-and- death decisions for him, including the withdrawal of food and water. While the law does require the surrogate to make decisions in accordance with the wishes of the patient to the extent they are known, and only authorizes the withdrawal of life sustaining treatment under certain circumstances, if the wishes of the patient are unknown or if there is a dispute among family members, the law gives the surrogate sweeping powers over life and death. Rabbi Biser, who fought the bill on behalf of Agudath Israel for many years, explains that now, if an incapacitated patient did not designate a health care agent or proxy in writing and has no legal guardian, his automatic proxy for making health care decisions will be his spouse. If there is no spouse, the power is given to an adult son or daughter. If there are no such children, a parent of the patient is next in line. In the absence of parents, the power falls to an adult sibling—and if there are none, to a close friend of the patient. “No one should think that the new law will not affect them,” warns Rabbi Biser, and he urges members of the Jewish community to take immediate steps to protect themselves and their families. “We have dealt with many cases,” he recounts, “involving disputes between family members of a patient and a hospital, and between family members themselves, over health care decisions for incapacitated patients. Until now, at least in New York State, the ‘clear and convincing evidence’ standard enabled us to persuade hospitals, and in some cases judges, to respect the wishes of the family to keep patients alive. Now, however, that standard has been abolished, and the fate of incapacitated patients will be largely up to the whim of whoever happens to rank highest on the new law’s ‘pecking order’ of surrogates.” Rabbi Biser describes several of what he calls “nightmare scenarios” that could easily take place now in cases where incapacitated patients lack a properly execut- ed health care proxy: • A recently married young man falls on the ice and suffers a serious head injury that leaves him unable to communicate. His doctor says the condition is irre- 58 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES HEALTH SECTION versible but his parents refuse to give up the new law, though, we might well have hope and, in accordance with their family lost those cases—and those lives.” rabbi’s ruling, want their son to receive all “But even under the new law,” the possible medical treatment. The patient’s Agudath Israel attorney continues, “peo- young wife, distraught at the prospect of ple still have a way to avoid an unchosen remaining married to a possibly perma- surrogate from making health care deci- nent invalid, orders the doctors to with- sions for them: Completing and signing a draw life support. Under the new law, they health care proxy form that designates a must follow her directive. decision-maker.” • After a car accident, a mother of young No attorney is necessary to create such a children is on life support; the hospital proxy, Rabbi Biser explains. “For observant doctor says she is permanently uncon- Jews,” he says, “the simplest path is to conscious but other medical experts disagree. tact Agudath Israel of America and request Her bitterly estranged husband, no longer a Halachic Living Will” that will ensure that religiously observant and who has lived Jewish religious law will govern treatment apart from her for some time but is not yet in case of incapacitation. Halachic Living legally separated or divorced, holds the Wills for many states can be obtained by power to “pull the plug” and has no com- calling Agudath Israel at 212-797-9000. punctions about using it. “Then,” Rabbi Biser adds, “register the • An observant elderly man whose only document with a national registry, which adult son is no longer observant will Agudath Israel can help you do at no charge, require a feeding tube to stay alive. He is and make sure that appropriate family conscious and alert but cannot communi- members have a copy of the document.” cate his wishes. The hospital doctor says Several years ago, Rabbi Yaakov Perlow, that he has less than six months to live; the Novominsker Rebbe and rosh other experts disagree. The patient’s sib- Agudath Israel, stated: “Every Jew in lings insist that he would want to stay America should fill out and sign a alive, but they have nothing in writing to Halachic Living Will. We are living in an prove it. The son orders the doctors to era in which many doctors and hospitals not place the feeding tube and to with- are no longer committed to the concept draw intravenous hydration. They must of the sanctity of human life. Having a comply, and the patient dies days later Halachic Living Will helps ensure that from lack of nutrition and water. halachah will be upheld in life and death “Lest anyone think these scenarios are health care decisions.” far-fetched,” says Rabbi Biser, “Agudath A New York attorney who helped Israel has been called in several cases sim- Agudath Israel develop its Halachic Living ilar to the last one. And in each case the Will, Jonathan Rikoon, notes that it “fills attorney we found for the family was a vital need.” “It is intended to be a legal- able to persuade a judge to order the ly binding document that doctors and insertion of a feeding tube over the objec- hospitals must respect. No observant Jew tions of the patient’s adult child. Under should be without one.” O

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES HEALTH SECTION March 26, 2010 59 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Continued from Page 57 er, aquarium bubble tube, piano stepper, and tic tac toe wall panel. The space reflects the spirit of the home—children friendly, parent happy, and safe. Lev Tova at HASC Center is dedicated to the memory of Tova Jeidel, a’h, a unique woman who died tragically in a fire just after licht bentchen a few weeks ago. The name is a perfect fit as Tova touched the hearts of so many people in her life. She cared for others in her quiet unassuming manner, and it is that gentle care that is now missing in the lives of those who knew her. She was especially close to her niece Yael, a young woman with special needs and was a staunch supporter of anyone that helped people like Yael, especially the HASC Center family. Tova will be missed, but her lega- cy will live on in “Lev Tova”—the heart that will continue to touch the lives of so many. This respite home was developed solely as a much needed service to the Jewish community and, unlike the majority of establishments of its kind, will be primarily financed by HASC Center and private donations with a contribution from OMRDD (the New York State Office of Mental Retardation and Developmental Disabilities). In addition to Lev Tova, HASC Center provides a wide array of services including a variety of day habilitation programs, supportive employment, residential facilities, a medical care facility, at-home residential habilitation, Sunday and after school programs, and the Nofesh respite weekends in Upstate New York. For over forty years, HASC Center has been a pio- neer in providing services for the special needs community and continues this rep- utation with their latest inspiration. Avrom is particularly excited about this new home. “Until now, we have planned our trips around the HASC Center Nofesh weekends in Upstate NY. Now, we will be able to attend family simchas, plan our own vacation, or just take a breather—all the while knowing that our children will be getting the care that they need, in a facility designed for them, with warmth and, yes, a Lev Tova. Thank you, Tova. Thank you HASC Center.” O

OU Calls On Rabbis To Develop Continuing Marital Education Programs In Shuls A skills-based continuing marital education program is of critical importance in assuring the enduring success of Jewish marriages, and rabbis have a wonderful opportunity to strengthen marriage in their communities. This was the message of Frank Buchweitz, Orthodox Union national director of community services and special projects in a recent session for rabbis on implementation of the Aleinu Marital Satisfaction Survey, a project of the OU. “Marriage education is ongoing through life—it is the best prevention against divorce and it can take place in your synagogue,” he informed the rabbis. “We at the OU are looking forward to building the community. As rabbis in the shuls, you have the position to empower your community to strengthen positive attitudes in their marriages.” The Aleinu survey, conducted online in early 2009, received 3,670 responses from 60 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES HEALTH SECTION

around North America. It found that over- abandoned or neglected. Too much com- sessions for new and younger pulpit rab- designing and implementing these pro- whelmingly, Orthodox Jewish marriages munication (of the wrong type) is an bis; grams. For more information on the OU tend to be happy, more often than in soci- issue. The husband thinks he knows it • Presenting continuing education pro- Marriage Retreat, or to register, contact ety as a whole, with three-quarters of all—as a Mr. Fix-It to solve the wife’s grams, perhaps online, in marriage educa- 212-613-8188 or visit www.community.org. O spouses saying they would marry the problems without listening carefully to tion for rabbis; same person again. However, there is a her or her problems. Communication is • Developing a list of qualified thera- List Of Some Public Passover Seders “perception” that the divorce rate is ris- extremely significant for us in terms of pists for referrals for couples with marital In NYC Area ing, and there is a marital satisfaction how we counsel our couples.” issues; • Beth El Jewish Center of Flatbush; “down-period” starting well in advance of The OU will present another in its • Developing educational classes/ 718-375-0120; $30; 1981 Homecrest Avenue, 20 years of marriage and leading up to 30 series of Positive Jewish Marriage workshops for couples preparing for mar- corner Avenue T, Brooklyn, NY; lam- years, that may precede an “up-period” in retreats for couples of all ages, in which riage to help get them off to a good start; [email protected]. which fulfillment and happiness become the programming will be based on the these can be stand-alone or part of chos- • Congregation Beth Israel West Side more common. findings of the Aleinu survey. The son/kallah classes for future brides and Jewish Center; 212-502-5291; $60; 347 West In addition, a number of concerns and retreat will be held at the Woodcliff grooms which they take without their 34th Street, between 8th and 9th Avenues, stressors were identified by the survey, Lake Hilton in Woodcliff Lake, NJ, July future spouse; Manhattan; info@WestSideJewishCenter which impact upon marital satisfaction. 9–11. As a new departure, and in • Expanding positive Jewish dating/ .org. These stressors include financial issues, response to the survey, a special pro- shidduchim programs for students as well • Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun; 212- communication, intimacy/sexuality, time grammatic track will be presented for as parents; 774-5678; $90 for adult; 125 East 85th together, and in-laws. couples in their first years of marriage. • Developing pre-marital role playing Street, between Lexington and Park In a fervent presentation to the assem- “Healthy marriages are the backbone video scenarios with mental health pro- Avenues, Manhattan; [email protected]. bled rabbis, OU executive vice president of healthy families, healthy communities, fessionals; • Old Broadway Synagogue; 646-732- Rabbi Steven Weil called on the rabbis to and the basis of healthy congregations,” • Follow-up by rabbis, perhaps quarter- 5499; 212-662-9767; $65 per adult; $35 per take on activist roles in their congrega- Frank Buchweitz, who coordinated the ly, on how newly married couples are child; 15 Old Broadway, near 125th Street, tions to help couples navigate their way Aleinu survey, told the rabbis. “A skills- doing; Manhattan; [email protected]; Dr. through the stresses that could harm based marriage education program can • Online skill-based classes in key areas Paul Radensky; president. their marriages; these stressors include make a powerful and positive difference of marriage; • Lincoln Square Synagogue; 212-874- the financial burdens imposed by yeshiva in strengthening the Jewish family, com- • Mentoring of couples in various 6100; 200 Amsterdam Avenue, Man- tuitions (which he termed “the Orthodox munity, and synagogue. While marriage stages of marital life by the rabbi or men- hattan; $40 for child; $85 for adult; tax”), synagogue dues, tzedakah in gener- preparation is a good first step, its bene- tal health professionals; this can be done Manhattan; [email protected]. al, and the other expenses involved in liv- fits diminish after a few years. Therefore, in a group setting, perhaps in a Shabbat • Congregation Etz Chaim of Kew ing an Orthodox life. marital education should continue dinner/dessert atmosphere. Groups may Gardens Hills; 718-576-2470; $26 for child; “Human beings have a strong capacity through a couple’s lifetime.” include: newlyweds; young couples with $38 for adult; 147-19 73rd Avenue, Kew to rebound from stress,” Rabbi Weil said, Such a program, he said, “can keep the and without children; 10-20 year married Garden Hills, Queens, NY. “but when it’s month after month, year relationship fresh by fostering new skills couples; empty nesters, etc.; • Hebrew Institute of Riverdale; 718- after year—it’s hard to rebound. Chronic and renewing community support and • Additional mentoring in which lay 796-4730; 3700 Henry Hudson Parkway, financial stress can destroy a marriage, it spousal commitment.” The program should leaders will be trained to mentor newly- Bronx, NY; [email protected]. takes its toll, and that is a major stress in emphasize marriage preparation, marriage weds in their first year of marriage; • Jewish Heritage Society; 315-777-8406; marriage.” enrichment, and marriage assistance. • Weekend marriage retreats and syna- contribution required for child and adult; Declaring that “communication is the Frank Buchweitz suggested the follow- gogue marriage strengthening programs. 313 Clay Street, Watertown, NY 13601; primary concern in our marriages,” Rabbi ing steps to make the program possible: Frank Buchweitz informed the rabbis Weil said, “Wives may sometimes feel • Arranging professional development that the OU will work with them on Continued on Page 63

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES HEALTH SECTION March 26, 2010 61 62 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS There will be separate tournaments for & Cohen Orthopedic Associates. Germano will be conducting weekly Continued from Page 61 boys and girls; children of all ages are Prior to joining Orlin & Cohen, Dr. rounds and meeting with the director of invited to participate at the shul from Germano completed his fellowship in rehabilitation services, Sharon Zisholtz [email protected]. 4:30–5:30 p.m. adult reconstructive surgery at New MA, PT, on an ongoing basis. •Hampton Synagogue; 631-288-0534; These wonderful events are featured as England Baptist Hospital in Boston. He Additionally, Dr. Germano will be ext 13; $65 for child; $20 for adult; 154 part of The White Shul’s ongoing com- completed his residency in orthopedic providing educational in-services to Sunset Avenue, Westhampton Beach, NY mitment to quality youth programming. surgery and general surgical internship staff and community members in the 11978; [email protected]. The community is invited to come and at University of Massachusetts Medical areas of pain management, joint Some locations offer a seder the first enjoy these events and for davening Center. He has co-published and pre- replacement precautions, anti-coagu- night only and some the second night throughout Pesach. The nursery/kinder- sented numerous papers on various lation therapy, and the most current only. Contact the synagogue you want to garten group will be meeting on the first techniques related to hip replacement surgical procedures available. Dr. visit to verify that it satisfies your needs. O days of yom tov and Shabbos Chol and fracture repair. Germano will be an integral part of Hamoed. Other age groups will be on Dr. Germano is a fellowship trained the comprehensive orthopedic pro- White-Shul Youth Keeps On Rolling recess until after Pesach. orthopedist who sub-specializes in total gram at WR&HCC which provides Under the leadership of Rabbi Judah The White Shul is located at 728 Empire hip, knee, and shoulder replacement orthopedic patients with the highest Hulkower, The White Shul youth depart- Avenue in Far Rockaway. To learn more, visit with a special interest in revision level of rehabilitation in a pleasant ment continues to have an amazing year. www.whiteshul.com or call 718-327-0500. O arthroplasty. He is skilled in minimally and caring environment. To celebrate the conclusion of the most invasive and computer assisted surgery If you have any questions regarding successful year of Sunday morning pro- Woodmere Rehab Welcomes James as well as alternative bearing surgery. He the orthopedic program or any of the gramming ever, this past Sunday, the Germano, M.D., Orthopedic Surgeon is one of Long Island’s only hip various quality services offered by White Shul youth department put on a Woodmere Rehabilitation and Health arthroscopy surgeons. Dr. Germano is Woodmere Rehabilitation and Health song and dance performance that rivaled Care Center (WR&HCC), located at 121 currently working with the WR&HCC Care Center, please do not hesitate to the best that Broadway/Empire has to Franklin Place in Woodmere, New York is rehabilitation services team in updating call either Leba Sonneberg, director of offer. This season’s little league promises proud to announce the joining of James policies and procedures relating to marketing and community relations, or to be the best season yet, with record Germano, M.D. as an administrative orthopedic care, post surgery. He is over- Sharon Zisholtz, MA PT, director of reha- breaking numbers of players and coach- orthopedic consultant to its rehabilita- seeing the implementation of such poli- bilitation at 516-374-9300. O es; and Rabbi Judah Hulkower, the White tion services team. Dr. Germano is an cies and procedures to ensure compre- Shul youth director, has some truly won- orthopedic surgeon associate with Orlin hensive quality orthopedic services. Dr. Continued on Page 65 derful programming planned for this upcoming Pesach. Before Pesach even starts, on Sunday March 28 from 10:30 a.m. to 12:15 p.m. TWS will be having an arts and crafts program for preschool through 5th grade girls and preschool boys. This event will be run by the very talented Rochel Lichtman and will feature a pizza lunch to follow the arts and crafts facet. The nominal charge for the event is only $5 for members and $10 for not yet members. Pesach itself will be marked by many tangible objects to represent our freedom. Nut Rolling should by no means be forgotten as one of those staples. On Shabbos Chol Hamoed TWS will have its annual nut rolling contest featuring fierce competition and great prizes.

And the fire upon the Altar shall be kept burning in it…and the kohen shall burn wood on it every morning (Vayikra 6:5) Although a fire descended from heaven upon the Altar, it is a mitzvah to add to it a humanly produced fire.

(Talmud, Eruvin 63a) This is a rule that applies to all areas of life: the gifts of life are bestowed upon us from Above, yet it is G-d’s desire that we add to them the product of our own initiative.

(The Chassidic Masters)

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 63 64 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Continued from Page 63 We All Need A Little Menucha A cozy leather recliner . . . a steaming cup of coffee . . . A gentle summer breeze . . . A calm and peaceful interlude . . . These are the things that we just can’t seem to get enough of. We’re so busy chasing ourselves that most of us don’t take the time to enjoy the world’s simple pleasures. If only we would have a little more Menucha in our lives. Eli Gerstner Productions proudly pres- ents Menucha 2 Sh’ma Yisroel, available in Judaica stores everywhere. In 2001 Eli Gerstner created the Chevra. Its first album was released and it took the world by storm. Originally meant for a young contemporary audience, the Chevra struck a chord with Jewish music listen- ers of all ages. It broke every previous record in sales. It built an enormous following. Apparently, it was the sound that the world was waiting for. While he enjoyed the success of the Chevra, deep down Eli had another idea brewing in his head. He wondered if he could take the concept of the Chevra and combine it with a more traditional, more hartzig, and more soothing sound. He wondered if he could create a group that would blend in perfect harmony, excel in uplift- ing melodies, and inspire us to greater heights. He wondered if he could create a musical experience called Menucha. If the Chevra represents Eli Gerstner’s talent and creativity, then Menucha represents his heart and his soul. “These are my personal favorites,” he says. The music, the voices, the melodies. For me, Menucha is a labor of love.” The album was released and a core group of unwa- vering Menucha fans was created. Apparently the album has touched the hearts and souls of others as well. Eli would have liked to continue focus- ing on Menucha, but other projects kept getting in the way. When the Yeshiva Boys Choir was introduced, nobody could have anticipated how it would electrify its audiences. Eli found himself immersed in YBC’s CD’s, DVD’s, and performances. The demand was overwhelming. For the time being, Menucha had to take a back seat. The great Izzy Taubenfeld, a’h, founder of Sameach Music, kept the flame alive. He would regularly urge Eli to work on Menucha, recognizing the appeal of its heartfelt message. “Izzy used to tell me,” says Eli, “that Menucha was his favorite.” But Eli was juggling too many other projects, and once again Menucha 2 was put on hold. Then a funny thing happened. About four years after its original release, Menucha suddenly took on a life of its own. People were calling from everywhere asking for Menucha to headline at concerts, to appear at special events, to release another album. Suddenly Menucha was in demand. “Eventually,” said Eli, “I realized that Menucha would have to be my priori- ty.” And so it was. The three Menucha vocalists were brought together to create a new album. The result is the outstanding production called Menucha 2. Unfortunately, Izzy passed away before the album was mixed, and he never got to hear any of its songs. But Menucha 2 is unquestionably a tribute to his memory in every sense of the word. “It was amazing how much he believed in it,” Eli observes. “It would never have hap-

Continued on Page 67 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 65 Passover 1945: A Controversial Twist On The “Four Sons”

BY RAFAEL MEDOFF no author’s name, but it had all the dra- European Jewry. Jewish community over the future of matic hallmarks of the Academy Award “There Were Four Sons” was illustrat- Palestine. The first three are different Many of us recall the use of Passover winning screenwriter Ben Hecht, who ed by the famed artist Arthur Szyk, who, types of American Jews who opposed, or themes in such Jewish political activity as was the most prominent of the Bergson in between drawing covers for Time and at least were uninterested in, the fight the “Freedom Seders” of the 1960s Jewish for a Jewish state. student movement or the “Let My People The “Wicked Son” represents the Go” campaigns by Soviet Jewry protesters wealthy, assimilated Jew who actively in the 1970s and 1980s. opposed Zionism. This Wicked Son But the appearance of Passover This Wicked Son asks, “What is this asks, “What is this nonsense about a imagery in contemporary Jewish politics Jewish nation and an independent goes back much further than that. With homeland? When all this fuss blows Passover approaching in 1945, Zionist nonsense about a Jewish nation over, let them return to the countries activists in the United States undertook they came from . . .” “Answer him,” the an information offensive that utilized the and an independent homeland?” pamphlet continues, in the style of the holiday’s themes to challenge the small traditional Haggadah, that “since he but influential segment of the Jewish elects to hold himself aloof from a phys- community that opposed Zionism. ical concern about his brother’s plight, Shortly before Passover 1945, the he has disqualified himself from a voice Jewish activists known as the Bergson Group’s publicists. Hecht had previous- Collier’s and political cartoons for the in the life and death affairs of a foreign Group issued a pamphlet that retold ly authored a series of attention-grab- New York Post, put his talents at the dis- and persecuted people.” The Jews in the “four sons” portion of the Haggadah bing full page newspaper ads for the posal of the Bergson Group. Szyk’s “four Europe and Palestine fear his involve- with a starkly modern twist. The book- group that stoked controversy by bold- sons” are taken straight out of the ment in their affairs “more than the let, titled “There Were Four Sons,” bore ly criticizing Allied policy towards debates then raging in the American plotting of the anti-Semites,” since “the adverse testimony of a supposed friend can be as scriptures in the mouth of the devil.” Szyk’s depiction of the Wicked Son looks suspiciously like Joseph Proskauer, president of the American Jewish Committee, who was one of the most prominent and influential anti- Zionists of that era. Later the AJC would change its position and support the creation of Israel, but at that point, in 1945, it argued that the existence of a Jewish state would compromise the status of Jews in the Diaspora. The next son, whom English-language Haggadahs typically call the Simple Son, is here called the “Indifferent Son.” He appears to be a middle-class Jewish businessman, wearing a fedora hat and chomping on a cigar. “Why don’t we leave well enough alone?” he asks. “Aren’t we doing okay here?” He worries that paying too much attention to European Jewry might “prod anti-Semitism here in America.” “Answer him,” the Bergson pamphlet instructs, that fighting for a Jewish state would ultimately help decrease, not increase, anti-Semitism. Achieving “freedom and safety for your less fortunate kin in the death valley of Europe will create a sound moral foundation for a world order of peace and security,” and that would include “banishing anti- Semitism.” Szyk’s “Uninformed Son” (whom most Haggadahs call “the son who does not know to ask”), wearing a laborer’s cap, is the stereotypical Jewish workingman. He says he cannot understand why the Jews “complain against the British [administration in Palestine].” After all, “Do Jews not have freedom there to live, work, sing, play, and worship as they please?” “Answer him that Palestine is far from a land of freedom today,” the pamphlet asserts. “In Palestine there are concentra- tion camps” (meaning the detention camps where Jewish activists were held without charges), “torture chambers” (Jewish militants were often mistreated by their British captors), “ghettoes” (a ref- erence to the curfews and other restric- tions imposed on many Jewish neighbor- hoods), and “explicit anti-Jewish laws”

Continued on Page 69 66 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Continued from Page 63 pened without him.” Izzy would have truly been proud. Menucha 2 combines quintessential Gerstner qualities with a soulful and inspiring message. There is almost con- stant three part harmony throughout the album—no gimmicks, no shtick, no hi tech stunts. “Just three guys,” says Eli, “singing like they really mean it.” Sh’ma Yisrael, the album’s title track, is most definitely the album’s breakout song. It starts out upbeat with lots of gui- tars and drums. Think chassanah ‘intro’ music. You can almost see the chosson and kallah coming out for their first dance. The song has plenty of flair. It’s leibedik and fun and exciting. And yet, it’s not in your face. There’s something just a little bit understated about it, making it accessible and acceptable to all. On the other end of the spectrum is Racheim, which is more hartzig, slow-paced, and meaningful. Yeshiva Boys Choir and its star soloist, Yaakov Mordechai Gerstner, join Menucha as guest vocalists in this beautiful melody. The harmony is impec- cable, the message is unmistakable, and the inspiration is unbeatable. Benny Taubenfeld is today the driving force behind Sameach and he is delighted with the new Menucha album. “When I lis- tened to the new CD for the first time,” he says, “I was utterly amazed at the composi- tions and the music. Each song is unique and there are so many excellent ones to choose from. I expect this album to fly out of the stores as soon as it’s released.” Menucha could not have happened were it not for the vibrant kesher between its three members. “These three guys,” says Eli, “have a certain magic together. The way they sing and harmonize with each other, it’s really amazing.” Danny Berkowitz, who lives in Monsey, is a distinguished member of Hatzolah. He sings the lower pitched harmonies on the album. The warmth of his voice adds to the intrinsic beauty of the songs. Avi Schachter is married and has two children. He lives in the Five Towns. His innocence and purity lend a certain wholesomeness to the album. Shlomo Schwed is a true ben Torah sitting and shteiging in yeshiva in Yerushalayim. He has an amazing voice and reaches high notes that no one else can. Those readers who are already familiar with the magic that is Menucha are no doubt eagerly awaiting their upcoming live performance on Thursday evening, April 1, chol hamoed Pesach at Queens College. Menucha’s new album is outstanding, but to get the real experience, nothing compares to a concert performance. Headlining with Menucha on chol hamoed will be the incomparable Yeshiva Boys Choir, which is performing songs that were never sung on stage. The star soloist of YBC, Yaakov Mordechai Gerstner, will be performing a song that he wrote himself and will be singing the hit B’rshus off the YBC Live 3 DVD. As a rare treat, Eli Gerstner will be performing as well, and introducing his new song which will be featured on the next YBC album. The choir’s chol hamoed performances have become something of a yom tov tradition for our community. Those who are looking for Torahdik wholesome entertain- ment to be shared with family members of all ages have made these concerts an inte-

Continued on Page 69 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 67 The Four Sons In A Modern Version

BY NISON GORDON, A’H

The answers that the Torah prepared for the inquiring sons change throughout the generations. The world says new Haggadahs are published each year because the wicked son (rasha) of the previous year is now, a year later, considered the wise one (chacham). However, the assertions and the questions of the four sons do not change with the printing of that time. They remain as foretold in the Torah in parashas Bo when the Jewish people were still in Egypt where the roles of three of the sons were described: The wicked son, the simple son (tam), and the son who does not know how to ask (she’eino yodei’a lishol), and concludes with the fourth one, the wise son, who is first to appear on the scene at the seder or in parashas Va’eschanan, where Moshe, our teacher, warns the Jewish people what awaits them as an independent nation, before entering the promised land. Not only did the four sons not change their roles, but hundreds of years later we begin to understand them better and to comprehend on a more profound level the words that the Torah put into their mouths. Obviously, all the questions of the four sons were not posed at the time when the Jewish people were in Egypt or during their sojourn in the desert but at a later time. In general, the questions did not even pertain to that time. Even the simple son knew the answer to ‘what is this?’ and even the one who did not know how to ask grasped what was happening at that time. And what about the wicked son? . . . At that time he was not considered a heretic and he did not iso- late himself. All he desired was some meat and bread. He was contesting the leadership of Moshe and Aharon. And our perspective of the golden calf was revised and was not considered to be plain idola- try—as we understand it. Each of the questions is prefaced with the statement, “And it shall come to pass when you enter into the land” or “It shall be when Hashem will bring you into the land.” Only when the Jewish people come to Eretz Yisrael does the Torah provide the father with the answers to the child who does not know how to ask. But when one peers deeply into the words of the Chumash, one is immediately struck by the omission of one word in the narrative of the wicked son—tomorrow (machar, meaning the future). For the simple son it is written, “And it shall be when your son will ask you in the future (machar), ‘What is this?’” (Sh’mos 13:14) For the wise son it states, “When your son should ask you in the future (machar) saying . . .” (Devarim 6:20). However, for the wicked son it states, “And it shall be when your children will say to you, ‘what is this service to you?’” (Sh’mos 12:26) without the word machar which can be interpret- ed as not looking toward a future. It is possible to receive the impression

Continued on Page 71 68 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES “Four Sons” asks, “How can I help my fellow men in Continued from Page 66 Europe and Palestine?” The pamphlet answers him by urging him to “join this (such as those prohibiting most Jewish crusade [for Jewish statehood] with all immigration and land purchases). his heart and all his soul” and “add his The Bergson Group’s “Wise Son” con- voice, his influence among friends, and trasts sharply with the other three. He is every penny he can honestly spare . . .” a Jewish soldier in the U.S. Army. He The long dark night of Nazi persecu-

tion was drawing to a close, and the sides such as “There Were Four Sons,” struggle for a Jewish state was about to which invoked ancient imagery to sway begin in earnest. It was a struggle waged hearts and minds. O in Palestine with guerrilla warfare, on the high seas with refugee ships, and in Dr. Rafael Medoff is director of The David S. Wyman Institute for Holocaust Studies, the court of public opinion with broad- www.WymanInstitute.org.

AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS her role as assistant principal, and then act- Continued from Page 63 ing principal at Yeshiva University High School for Girls; assistant principal at SKA gral part of their chol hamoed experience. High School; and her current position as “It’s a family-friendly event,” says Eli. principal of the Maayanot Yeshiva High “People purchase five or six tickets at a School for Girls in Teaneck, New Jersey. time.” The ruach at a YBC and Menucha In the letter sent to parents, the board of concert is unparalleled. Interaction directors describe Mrs. Billet’s arrival as the between the audience and the performers first in a series of transformational meas- is electric and exciting. There’s really no ures to be implemented at Bnot Shulamith. other show like it in the Jewish world. “With Hashem’s help,” says Sam Gross, pres- Our community leaders encourage us ident of Bnot Shulamith, “these changes to spend more time with our children will substantially enhance the growth and and enjoy inspirational and pleasurable development of Bnot Shulamith.” activities together. What better opportu- In addition to leading Bnot nity than this one to spend a wonderful Shulamith’s middle school, Mrs. Billet evening out with the kids. And what a will also assume primary recruitment and beautiful way to create family memories educational responsibilities as dean of that will last for a long time to come. the future Bnot Shulamith High School, For more information about Menucha which is set to open with a ninth grade in 2 or the chol hamoed performance, con- September 2011. tact EG Productions at 718-853-9403 or Mrs. Billet is a proud Shulamith graduate, visit www.eligerstner.com. O and views her Shulamith education as the guiding light of her career as an educator. Bnot Shulamith Middle School “Like so many other Shulamith graduates,” Welcomes New Principal, she says, “I feel the education I received Mrs. Rookie Billet there has remained with me for life.” Earlier this week the board of directors Bnot Shulamith’s current students of Bnot Shulamith sent letters to its par- “have much to be proud of, too,” says Mrs. ents and faculty announcing that Mrs. Billet. “They’re the beneficiaries of Bnot Rookie Billet, the renowned educator and Shulamith’s inimitable tradition of an beloved rebbetzin of the Young Israel of outstanding, Ivrit-based limudei kodesh Woodmere, will be joining the Bnot curriculum, a first-rate secular education Shulamith administration as its middle that emphasizes the pursuit of excel- school principal. Mrs. Billet will round lence, wonderful morot and teachers who out the Bnot Shulamith educational lead- model and instill in their students the val- ership team, which includes its preschool ues of avodat Hashem, ahavat Yisrael, and principal, Mrs. Estee Scher, and elemen- ahavat Eretz Yisrael, and of giving every tary school principal, Mrs. Joyce Yarmak. student the knowledge and confidence to Mrs. Billet has a long, distinguished achieve any goal she desires within the career in Jewish education, which includes parameters of halachah.” O 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 69 70 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Modern Version the Jewish people. Continued from Page 68 Perhaps the Haggadah itself sheds light on the answer. The author of the Haggadah, that the wicked son appears on the scene though he shows that he is strict in regards earlier than the others. It takes less time to the wicked son, he at the same time to hear the questions of the wicked son expresses his concern on behalf of him. He who immediately pushes to be ahead of seems to indicate that he is essentially not the others. In the Haggadah, the wise son that wicked, rather, perhaps he is similar to is mentioned ahead of the others; howev- the son who does not know how to ask. It er, in reality, it is the wicked who seeks to states, “Therefore, you must answer him ascend the dais to pose his poisonous bluntly and say to him, ‘Because of this G-d questions. Only later (in the machar) did for me when I went out of Egypt.’” meaning in the future, does the wise son These are the exact same words and the present counter arguments to defend same pasuk with which we address the son with all his might the work that the who cannot ask. wicked son did to undermine it uncon- The Torah forewarns us that in all of our tested for the longest time. passion and zeal we should deal sensitive- It is remarkable that for the first time all ly with the wicked son, for his wickedness four sons appear on the soil of Eretz Yisrael may not come from being deliberate or where the eyes of G-d remain affixed, not contrary. Perhaps it is a result of his igno- on the unseemliness of Egypt, not in the rance of his surroundings which was void wilderness of the desert, but actually in the of Judaism. Therefore, he received a false holy atmosphere of Eretz Yisrael. It is there concept of the Jewish people and the that the wicked son comes with his ques- Jewish homeland and is in effect distanc- tion, “Why do you need this” and “of what ing himself from those who should have value is this?” brought him closer. How is this possible? Why in Eretz And of further interest is the deviance of Yisrael should there be grumbling with so language employed regarding the wicked much force toward Hashem and His son as opposed to the others. What is writ- Mashiach? Perhaps the answer lies in the ten in the Torah is what we should answer tone of language used in addressing the the other sons. For the wise son, the pasuk wicked son at the seder table. For the other states, “You shall say to your child ‘We were sons the words are, “When the L-rd your slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt, and Hashem G-d shall bring you” (Devarim 7:1). The took us out of there with a strong hand.’” other sons come with the knowledge that (Devarim 6:21). As for the simple son, it it is the Master of the Universe that will states, “You shall say to him, ‘With a strong bring them into the land of the hand Hashem removed us from Egypt, Canaanites, the Hivites, Emorites, and the from the house of bondage’” (Sh’mos 13:14). Jebusites; as He swore to the forefathers to Also for the son who does not know how give the land which flows with milk and to ask it states, “And you shall tell your son honey to their children. on that day, saying, ‘It is on account of this However, in referring to the wicked son that Hashem did for me when I left Egypt’” it only states, “And it shall come to pass (Sh’mos 13:8). There is a completely differ- when you come to the land.” (Sh’mos 12:25) ent answer to the wicked son in the Torah Therefore, it will seem to him that he has from the way it is written in the Haggadah. come by himself (with his own power) but In Sh’mos 12:27 the Torah states, “You shall in truth, it does state later in the chapter say, ‘It is a Pesach feast offering to Hashem, “Which the L-rd will give you in accor- who skipped over the houses of the chil- dance with the promise that he has made dren of Israel in Egypt when he smote the to you”—that the land is his because the Egyptians, but he saved our household.’” To Master of the Universe gave it to him. whom shall you tell the message of the If we come to Eretz Yisrael without wicked son? It does not say, ‘You shall tell “When the L-rd your G-d shall bring him,” rather, “You should say to your sons,” you”—if we look at the Jewish homeland (ibid 26) as it does with the other three as the Irish look at Ireland and the sons, it says, “You shall say to them,”—the Vietnamese look at Vietnam then a gener- entire community. You should emerge ation will come who speak the words of, from the narrow ‘four cubits’ of your own “What does this service mean to you?”. table and tell everyone what Pesach is all And will even begin to embrace gnawing about. Inevitably the wicked son will be doubts as to their connection to the land influenced by his new surroundings that and the land’s connection to them. will reach him. After all, what can we possibly do with a Chase the wicked son from the son like that? What and how can we possi- table? .. . G-d forbid! It states, “Say to bly answer him? Chase him away from the them”—by saying and telling you shine a seder table, G-d forbid! If the Torah places light onto the environment, the communi- him at the seder table and the people give ty, and all of the wicked sons’ questions thanks for the ‘tidings of the sons’ which will inevitably be answered. For it is very they will have (Rashi Sh’mos 12:27), then no possible that he may be speaking as a one has the right to chase him away. Even wicked son but in reality he is similar to with all of his wicked questions, he is a son the child who just does not know how to who is still loyal to his people and will go ask, stemming from his ignorance towards in ‘fire’ for the Holy Land and for the holy Judaism. It is up to us to ensure that even people. The generation which left Egypt the wicked son feels comfortable asking. had to wander in the sands of the desert Generations come and generations go because of the sins of the spies who were but the questions of the four sons remain the great leaders of that time (Rashi the same, no matter what language the Bamidbar 13:3). They disappointed and dis- generations possess, including the mod- couraged the people when they were so ern-day sabra Hebrew. very near the border of the Promised Land. Fathers should remember and diligent- So, how can we chase them away from the ly rehearse the answers the Torah provid- table, a Jewish table all year—such chil- ed many centuries ago. O dren whose love for the land has no This was originally published in the Algemeiner bounds and whose self sacrifice, each and Journal, March 26, 1975, and translated from every day, shows their love of the land and Yiddish by Victor Cohen. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 71 72 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 73 ing gorgeous! They had risen beyond my we would indeed have dessert for expectations, and I was excited to finally Shabbos (my kids and I have a habit of finish the process with the baking. I have sampling the cookies beforehand). And a system when it comes to the challah now we just had raw dough . . . baking advised by my good friend Ruchie: What to do? A call to my neighbors, the oven gets pre-heated to about 200 the Mosaks, cured the immediate prob- degrees, and the challahs get put into that lem. We would be able to bake the chal- warm oven for about 10 minutes, and lahs and cookies in shifts. Being that they then I raise the temperature to 350 live on our corner, Rochel devised a plan degrees until the challahs are complete to transport all the challahs in less time: It’s Raining (that time varies). The theory behind the cookie pans. We were able to transport extra ten minutes in the warm oven is to four small challahs at a time. With both Lea missed the bus today (Monday), but can’t say that I keep to the exact schedule give it the maximum rising possible of us working in unison, we transported that’s O.K. I was all dressed and preparing all of the time, but I have a general sched- before the final bake. eight challahs at one time! Fortunately for the arrival of the roofers, so I didn’t ule that has served me well until now. I As I began the procedure of carefully the weather was with us on Friday, and mind driving her this morning. I’m not typically make my challah dough before I transferring the challahs into the warm we had fun walking to the corner with quite sure what is involved in preparing leave on my errands and/or work for the oven, I noticed that the oven was not our stock. In a short time, less than an for roofers because the work is all exterior morning. So you see, a quasi-schedule, warm. In fact, it was totally cold. I checked hour, we were able to bake all our chal- and they already know what is being since I never quite know for sure when I to make sure I had the oven on bake (yes, lahs and our chocolate chip cookies. replaced and/or repaired, so there is noth- will arrive at work, or complete my I often forget that vital ingredient). The Thank you so much for the kindness of ing for me to actually do. But I needed to errands for that matter, but at least I usu- bottom oven was certainly set to bake, and our dear neighbors! be prepared just in case my expertise was ally know that my dough is made and ris- in fact the red indicator light was on, signi- And so it is quite busy in the Lubin required (no roofing expertise of course, ing! This past Friday, with guests joining fying that the oven was indeed on. I household these days. New carpet is being but perhaps I would need to be on hand to us for Shabbos, I needed a bit more chal- thought perhaps the thermostat was possi- delivered for Rochel, Lea, and Rivka’s sign off on any outstanding issues). lah than usual. With that in mind, I start- bly off the mark, so I raised the tempera- room tomorrow, the roof shall hopefully As I turned on my cell phone as we ed my dough project a couple of hours ture all the way to 500 degrees, but it was be completed by Wednesday, and the new were getting into the car, I noticed a voice earlier, and by about 6:30 in the morning, still cold. This oven was just not working oven is on its way hopefully before mail message: It seems that the roofers the dough was on its way. In fact, I was so (my top oven is only good to heat things Thursday! And so today I am busy cooking were not coming this morning after all— ahead of my usual schedule, that by 8:15 I up or to burn things i.e. the piece of chal- chametz, since when the new oven arrives it was already drizzling, with heavier rain already had the challahs twisted and the lah dough). Yes, I know that I could have I do not plan on using it until we are com- expected, henceforth not a great day for challah that was taken off as per run back to Gourmet Glatt at that point pletely pesadik. Chabad better have a good exposing a bare roof! Unfortunately one halachah burning in the top oven, and and just purchased challah, but at this kiddush on Shabbos! more thing that was to be accomplished my gefilte fish already boiled. point in my baking challah career I felt And so when it rains it pours, but at the before Pesach that will have to wait until Before leaving the house, my hafrashat that I couldn’t break the chazakah as it end of the day I will have a perfect roof, Wednesday (rain is expected for tomor- challah was nice and black and I was able were, and I needed to bake those challahs. clean carpet, and a totally pesadik oven in row as well—let’s hope we will be rela- to put away my sort-of cooled fish. As After all, I had already recited the time for the holiday! It’s all good! O tively leak free until the work is done). usual, time got away from me on Friday. hafrashat challah blessing! Phyllis Joy Lubin is an attorney with Rosenfeld & What is Murphy’s Law? If something Somehow between my typical trip to Another to-be-baked item: the choco- Maidenbaum, LLP, who resides in Cedarhurst can go wrong, it will . . . or maybe also, Gourmet Glatt and unforeseen emergen- late cookies! I had prepared the dough with her husband Leonard and six children: Naftali, Shoshana, Rivka, Rochel, Yosef, and Lea. when it rains it pours (literally some- cies at work, I did not get home until the day before, but wanted to wait until She welcomes your questions and comments at times)! I have a certain Friday schedule. I about 1:00 to find my rising challahs look- Friday to bake them to further insure that [email protected].

74 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES I added these words to the scene. Toward the end of the speech of Famine, Blessing Of The Fruit Trees a spotlight came up on stage left, and a young girl said, “Someday, the land of Israel will be so replete with fruits and BY TOBY KLEIN since the berachah can also be said on hair, he will be less of a “baby.” grains that neighbors will beg one anoth- GREENWALD Shabbat, now that they have their own er, ‘Come and pick the fruits of my tree, families it is often after lunch on a spring The Second Event before it breaks from the weight.’” In the spring month of Nissan, we are Shabbat that they get up and declare, Last year, while co-author Yael Valier Art imitating life. instructed to make a blessing the first “Let’s go to the Davids’ yard to say the and I were in the midst of writing the time we see a fruit tree in bloom (Berachos berachah on their tree!” texts for the musical revue In Search of Starting Anew 43b). I would translate the blessing thus: But this year, our daughter Adina and Courage (to be performed by our women’s Later in that same play, Boaz says, “Ah, “Blessed are Thou, L-rd of the Universe, her husband took their son, Yehonatan Raise Your Spirits Summer Stock Ruth—when I saw her in the field, and who has seen to it that there be nothing Menachem, to make the berachah on this Company), it fell to me to write the solil- then, so hesitant, so noble, on the thresh- lacking in His world, and Who created in last Sunday morning, which was also the oquy spoken by the Famine, which we ing floor . . . What chesed, what courage. it good creations and good trees, in which day before his chalakah (or ufsherin, as it is had personified. Famine, outfitted in a The courage of Ruth, and the courage of human beings can delight.” known is some circles)—cutting his hair, flowing black robe and dark makeup, rep- my people, to live through a famine, and I discovered this blessing for the first carry on.” time after living in Israel, though it is The month of Nissan is considered a recited throughout the world. new beginning. A new beginning for There is something evocative about the “Someday, the land of Israel will be so trees. A new beginning for the Children of blessing. After all, we do not make a bless- Israel who left Egypt. And a new begin- ing on the first vegetables or spices we see replete with fruits and grains that ning for anyone in need of it. pushing up through the ground, or on the Enjoy the holiday! O first appearance of wheat or other grain. neighbors will beg one another, The author is a journalist, poet, and educational- We do not bless a new baby chick or a calf. theater director. What is it about the fruit trees? I believe I found the answer through two ‘Come and pick the fruits of my tree.’ ” experiences. The first is a yearly occurrence in our WHAT’S YOUR OPINION? family. We have tried to grow fruit trees WE WANT TO KNOW! in our yard in Efrat but have been unsuc- now that he has turned three years old. resented the famine that the Children of cessful, perhaps due to the position of For some reason I find myself binding Israel endured before leaving Canaan for E-MAIL US AT our yard which faces a strong western these two events together—the new Egypt, in the times of Joseph, and the wind. From the time our children were blooming of the tree and the cutting of famine that caused Elimelech and Naomi [email protected] young, they have eagerly awaited spring Yehonatan’s glorious locks. to leave Bethlehem. every year, in order to go to the home of They are both new beginnings. The In the midst of the writing, a neigh- OR UPLOAD a neighbor who hangs a sign out by his tree belonging to the David family will bor had sent an e-mail to our communi- YOUR COMMENTS AT cherry tree with the berachah on it. soon bring forth luscious, juicy cherries. ty list, pleading for people to come and They have always treated this as an And as Yehonatan receives his first pick the apricots off his tree before the www.5tjt.com event. It is not just a casual walk-by. And tzitziot, and his kipah will sit on shorter branches broke.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 75 76 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 77 SERVICES SERVICES PROVIDED PROVIDED

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Beautiful business-size cards with Kiruv websites, are available for free Call: 516-569-0502 (to give to not-yet-Frum people). Please text or call 718-501-2110 Fax: 516-977-0608 Small beginners Siddurim, and Shabbos Or E-mail ads to: guidebooks, both in Russian, are available for you to distribute. Please call [email protected] Tashbar Publications at 718-438-9025 (leave message with address, Include payment info. IY"H we will mail them to you for free.) 78 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES REAL ESTATE COMMERCIAL REAL HELP WANTED FOR SALE ESTATE FOR SALE FOR RENT

Special Ed Teachers & Assistants— Woodmere/Cedarhurst Oppty! Cedarhurst — Prime retail corner Flatbush AveN/E4 — Newly renovated, Certified & experienced teachers, Asst. 12,000 sq. ft. approx. 90’x150’, Colonial, building for sale. 2-story, 6,200 Sq.ft. 4BR, 1Bath, LR, DR, EIK, W/D, in pvt Teachers, Judaic & Secular, P/T or F/T, 17 rooms, full bsmt. with hi ceilings, building with 2 ground floor retail house. Near all. Call 917-929-3118 for Sept. 2010. 5 Towns/ Far Rockaway clean 2 car garage plus storage, 6 space spaces and 2 second floor offices. HSBC Yeshivas. Fax resume to 516-295-2899 or parking, 2 family, professional use, Bank anchor tenant, assumable mort- Valley Stream — All new beautiful large e-mail [email protected] accountant, Esq., medical and/or educa- gage in place. Contact Ben Weiss at 2 BR, EIK – FDR, upper of 2 family tional and religious uses. Grand colonial Besen & Associates at 212-951-8418 house, quiet residential street, includes Expanding Queens mesivta with strong with charm and great possibilities. heat and parking...... $1,700 secular studies program seeks experi- Available at once . . . $875K Negotiable Cedarhurst — Central Ave. corner 1 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 enced teachers for September 2010 to Owner 516-322-3555 story retail building for sale. 1100 sq. ft. teach math, science, and Ivrit. Great location...... $469K Lawrence — Coop Rental. 1BR. 1NU Extremely plesant working environment House For Sale — Gorgeous, newly ren- Call 917-704-2950 Bth, LR, DR, EIK...... $1,300 with small classes, libral compensation ovated, $649K, 5BR, 3.5 bath, fpl, 2-car 5Town Homes ** 516-569-5710 program. Fax resume, cover letter, garage, cathedral ceilings in den, fin references: 718-969-6766 bsmnt w/wetbar. COMMERCIAL REAL Far Rockaway — Large One Bedroom Rose Hill Realty, 516-596-8976 Brian Counselors and lifeguards needed for ESTATE FOR RENT Apartment for rent. Beautiful elevator bldg. Nice tenancy. Great location at Upstate bungalow colony day camp Bayswater — Updated Dutch Colonial, Neilson and Cornaga, near Shor Yoshuv, (ages 2-7). Call 917-584-3544 Circa 1904, huge rooms, ideally located, Glendale/Ridgewood, NY 5,500 sq. ft. transportation, and shopping. on 104’x150’. available for immediate. High ceilings Asking $1,100. Call 718-692-2525 ext. 180 Joe Hersh, Noam Realty 212-431-1234 REAL ESTATE $5.50/sq. ft 718-841-1580 Vacation Village — 2 fl, 4 BR, LR, FOR SALE Far Rockaway: 2 Fam. All NU Store for Rent in Cedarhurst — 2,600 sq 3 over 3 Br. 4Fbth, Dr, Full bsmt 3 new bth, playrm, WD, beautiful view ft store on Central Ave in Cedarhurst All features ...... $779K July/Aug 516-967-8370 Center EquiShares, Inc 516-792-9888 Oceanside — Brand new construction. Call 516-263-6417 Beautiful CH col. Large 4 BR (1 level), Cedarhurst — All new, bright 3 BR, 1.5 Heart of Cedarhurst — 3,000 sq.ft free 2.5 bths, granite EIK, FDR, den with fp, Bayswater — Charming 3 BR, new bths, ground floor apt in 2-family house, standing building retail or wholesale, full bsmt, in cul-de-sac, walk all, best kosher kitchen and appliances, base- LR, FDR, EIK/ w new appliances, new price ...... $675K ment: guest room, bathroom, and new professional or medical. Attached to carpet, w/d included, yard and parking. 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 second kitchen. $459K Please call municipal parking lot. Long term lease Walk all ...... $2,150 516-374-3635 Steven 516-567-1626 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Lawrence COOP for sale: Beautiful 2 BR/Jr4,1 Bth, Hrdwd Flrs, New ktchn, Far Rockaway: Coop, 3Br, 1Bth Rockville Centre — 3,500 sq ft, fully Far Rockaway — Beautiful 6.5 rooms, 3 Centrally lctd, MIC ...... $169K Lr/Dr, Walk to All ...... $179K wired for Web, partitioned, will divide. BR, 2 baths, new kitchen, separate 516-670-2952 or [email protected] Call 516-322-3555 Call 516-322-3555 entrance, own thermostat. Best block in Far Rockaway. 718-868-1153 Lawrence: OURS ONLY!! Lawrence — Wonderful c/h col. house Cedarhurst Office Space for Rent — BRICK, C/H COL, Stately BRICK, w/old on the nicest cul-de-sac there is. Brand 1,000-3,000 sq ft avil. Start at $1,500 Far Rockaway rentals: world charm, Hi ceilings, 6Br, 4.5 new kitchen, finished basement. Asking EquiShares,Inc 516-792-9888 1 and 2 BR apartments. some bal- $875K Call 516-902-0936 BTHS, Kosher Eik, Lg. FDR, Library, conies. New kitchens, lots of closets, Fin. Bsmt., Lg Prop., WALK ALL. Cedarhurst: Office rental: Executive 2 24 hr doorman, security cameras. Close ...... $995K Hewlett — Col. MIC, 4br, 2bth, 2fpl, full Bths, Fully Web wired, 1,250 sq. ft., to White Shul, Shor Yoshuv and train. 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 deck, wood flr, Lg. den. Walk to all. CAC. 5TGR 516-322-3555 ...... $729K Call Sherri 516-297-7995 Cedarhust — New house Young contem- 5 TOWN HOMES 516-322-3555 Brand new construction. 3&4 BR, 2 full Far Rockaway — 2 Huge Office Spaces. porary col. high ceilings, large win- baths, custom kosher kitchen, w/d 6,000 and 2,500 Sq Ft. 2nd Floor. Near dows, bright and light, 4 BR (1 level) Far Rockaway — 2 houses New to mar- hookup, c/a, balcony for sukkah, 1-park Subway & LIRR. Build to Suit. Can be LR, FDR, large EIK, den, full finished ket! Brand new construction. spot included, no rental fee, 1 month’s divided. Owner 917-359-9776 basement, large fenced yard. Walk all. Detached 1 family house, 3 BR, 2.5 bths, rent free with signed lease. $3000 New to market. first floor 3 bed 2 bath, beautiful kosher kitchen, private drive- Shared Office Space Five Towns Realty 516-569-5710 extra large living room, formal dining way, full basement, porch +2 balconies, Cedarhurst/Woodmere — All utilities room, kitchen with meat and dairy ovens Boca Raton, FL — 2 BR/ 2 Bth Direct convenient location. inc + free internet & conf room on Caffrey Ave. Call Avi 516-351-3061 oceanfront condominium, spectacular Priced to sell...... $479K Starting at $500 views, completely renovated, designers 833 Central. Studio and One bedroom, 2 family 3/3, 4.5 bths, beautiful kosher EquiShares, Inc 516-792-9888 personal residence, may be purchased 24 hour doorman, Shabbos elevator. kitchens, parking, full basement. turnkey. Offered $424,919.00. Weissman Realty Group, LLC Coldwell Banker, Luke Redigan Only ...... $599K 516-791-6100 561-400-2259 Weissman Realty Group, LLC FOR RENT 516-791-6100 Valley Stream — First show! Lovely 4 Hewlett — New to market. Beautiful 5 BR, 2 bths, in SD#14, LR, DR, den, on BR, 3 bths, split. All updated, in SD#14. Law: Hi Ranch. Must see, 4br, 2.5bth, large property, walk all, ...... $2,350 Nicest house rental in Far Rockaway. Separate entrance can be M/D with fam rm, CAC, 2 car garage, large 5 Towns Home Realty 516-569-5710 Beautiful, ready to move in, 5 BR house proper permits. Owner motivated, pres- prop ...... $800sK on excellent block in Far Rockaway. ent all offers...... $550K Ced: Nu2Mkt, 2Fam, 3br/3br, 2fpl, Lawrence/Far Rockaway — 833 Central Brand new kitchen and very spacious 5 Towns Home Realty 516-569-5710 deck, all new, grt loc, full bsmt Ave. Jr 4 (2 BR) Spacious doorman/ ele- backyard. Call owner 917-617-0768 ...... $795K vator building, walk all ...... $1,500 5 Town Homes 516-569-5712 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Cedarhurst: NU 2 Mkt. Lg LR, DR, Special Prices At Sand Castle For 5TJT Readers — Studios for $895. EIK, Den, 5BR, 3bth, Skilits, Cabana, Lawrence/ Far Rockaway Co-op — Lawrence — New to Market. Pristine Includes utilities. No brokers’ fee! HW house on quiet cul-de-sac. 5 bed 4 full Lg prop, IGPool, Walk to all ... $659K New to market. Jr. 4, spacious, light floors, big windows, fully-equipped bath. Oversized master suite with and bright, doorman/ elevator building. kitchens, cable and internet connectivi- Jacuzzi. Cac. Walk to all. . . $4500 Neg. House for sale by owner, on a very cute ...... $239K Avromy 347-752-0948 block in Cedarhurst, 3 BR, 1 1/2 Bath, ty, closets. Gym, gourmet market, phar- 5 Towns Home Realty 516-569-5710 Weissman Realty Group, LLC EIK, LR/DR and Finished Basement. macy, Rabbi Korn's shul, and laundry 516-791-6100 Priced to sell. For more info please call Far Rockaway: 2 Family. All NU, facilities in BLDG. 711 Seagirt Ave. on 516-569-1685 (leave a message if no 3 over 1 Bdrm, 3 full baths. Great the beach - convenient to subway, Far Rockaway — Near TAG 2 BR apt. answer). Location ...... $599K LIRR, and Q113 bus. new kitchen and bath, nice fenced yard. Call 516-322-3555 www.sandcastleny.com. 516-374-3635 North Woodmere — First show! Weissman Realty Group, LLC Cedarhurst: 1st Show Decorator’s dream. Beautiful bi-level, 718-471-2593 large granite kosher EIK, FDR, large 1st FLR, FDR, 2BR. 2BTHS Terrace. Classified Ads are LR, den, 4 BR, waterview, all systems, Views of Gdns, W/D Far Rockaway — Lg. Hse Rental: 4br, walk all shuls...... $679K Lo maint, Grt. loca’n, Walk all. . $319K 2bth, bsmt., hi-ceilings, NU bths, W\D. Continued on the Next Page. 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Call 516-322-3555 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 79 CLASSIFIED ADS BUSINESS One Israel Fund Celebrates Its Continued from Page 79 OPPORTUNITY 16th Gala Anniversary Dinner

FOR RENT Lynbrook — Warehouse and offices for One Israel Fund’s 16th Gala took a moment to essentially chastise rent from 250 sq. ft – 4,000 sq. ft. Also Anniversary Dinner hosted hundreds of everyone, including those in the room, available 60 ft refrigerator. supporters from around the globe on for referring to the beautiful and thriving Call Teddy 917-842-8721 Lawrence — 18 Berkley Place Tuesday, March 16 at Terrace on the Park. cities of Judea and Samaria as settlements The evening’s theme of Achdut (Unity)— . . . a term that implies transience. Center hall col., 4 BR, 3 bths, stunning Become an Acai Berry Juice distribu- Building Bridges, Bridging Gaps, was The evening’s keynote speaker, Oded cul-de-sac, best location . . $4K monthly tor and earn commission immediately. Call Irene 516-652-7099 Online trainer, work from home, no most clearly illuminated by the deserving Revivi, mayor of Efrat—a lawyer, a sol- investment, e-mail [email protected] honorees, devoted to the safety and wel- dier, a father, a son, and a statesman—is North Wdm. — house rental. Hi-ranch fare of those 300,000 men, women, and truly an Israeli, not a mere settler. He in MIC. 4 br, CAC, den, on quiet street. children that are the vanguard of Israel’s came just days after the American vice 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 security and sovereignty as a Jewish State. president’s visit to Israel; just days after CAR FOR SALE Dr. Yashar and Mrs. Perie Hirshaut the president’s disheartening remarks Cedarhurst — Nu House CH Col. LR, were presented with the Bonei Yisrael and offered a firsthand view of the strain FDR, Kosher EIK, Den, 4BR, 3BTHS. Award. Steven Khadavi accepted the of everyday life in his part of the world. Bsmt. For Rent ...... $2,500 Shomer Yisrael Award on behalf of the He noted, “We live in a world threatened 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Pontiac G6 — V6 engine, 6K miles, blue with black cloth interior, CD player, Iranian American Jewish Federation of by violence and hatred every day. But we Cedarhurst — Garden apt. Nu 2 Mkt. Satelite radio, power windows and door New York; and Sy and Carole Oshinsky in also live in a world of everyday reality, 2BR. 2Bth, Mint, 1st Flr, heat & prk locks. Call 516-317-4217 deep appreciation for their work on one that relies on growth and continuity. incld ...... $2,300 behalf of Ulpanat Dolev received the We live with and around Arabs who are as 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 Keter Shem Tov Award. affected by the building freeze as [much, Deadline for “I remember Israel as a country that if not more so than] we are. These people Cedarhurst — All updated charming hardly had anything to offer besides its are builders and contractors whose liveli- Col. New granite EIK, FDR, LR with Classified Advertising history, noted Dr. Hishaut, a resident of hoods have been grossly affected by this fireplace, 4+ BR, CAC, in the heart of Lawrence, NY. “Back in 1949, Jerusalem building freeze. We find that the only Cedarhurst. Walk all. in the next issue (April 9) was a hinterland—not unlike Monticello. ones satisfied with the current situation Call 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710 But today [in Israel] there are booming in Judea and Samaria are those living is Wednesday, cities, successful manufacturing plants, thousands of miles away or those just a international corporate leaders . . . all few kilometers away waiting to destroy MISCELLANEOUS April 7 built from nothing. One Israel Fund and the lives of those, Jew and Arab, actually the Jewish families of YESHA are commit- living on the land in question. One Israel at 12:00 P.M. ted to that continued growth—to keep- Fund shines as a beacon in an ocean of Coming Soon: The Seminary at The Call ing the flame alive and that’s why we are darkness. One Israel Fund stands shoul- White Shul all here tonight.” der to shoulder with the families of Judea Menaheles: Rebbetzin Aviva Feiner 516-569-0502 Contributing to the evening’s success and Samaria offering life-giving and life- For Inquiries please email was Mr. Khadavi’s presentation of the saving support and security in these diffi- [email protected] IAJF’s donation of $75,000. Mr. Khadavi cult times.”

80 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Bonei Awardees Dr. Yashar and Mrs. Perie Hirshaut flanked by One Israel Fund The Yedidei Yesha awardees. Israel Director Irwin Borvick (L) and Executive Vice President Scott M. Feltman (R).

come to the school with broken spirits well as providing much needed support Steven Orlow, One Israel Fund’s pres- nation to succeed in life.” become whole again. The two were made to the families who were expelled from ident, echoed Mr. Revivi’s sentiments. One Israel Fund is more than just a for each other.” their homes in Gaza during the summer “These are perilous times,” he force for security and safety; it’s a means Funds raised at this dinner will help of 2005. Whether we build schools, med- remarked. “We must all commit our- of life-affirming wellbeing for the fami- One Israel Fund continue its efforts in ical centers, install playgrounds, or pro- selves to the safety of our brethren in lies of YESHA. “One Israel Fund helps filling the gaps in essential security, med- vide life-saving security systems, we are Judea and Samaria. On behalf of our keep Israel whole,’ said Sy Oshinsky. ical, educational, and social services that committed to the modern-day pioneers staff and supporters I thank our deserv- “Ulpanat Dolev helps teenage girls that are conspicuously lacking in YESHA, as who call YESHA their home. O ing honorees for being shining examples of that commitment.” Contributing to the evening’s success was the presence of this year’s Yedidei YESHA Award recipients: Jessica Adler, Samuel Cohen, Yoni Friedman, Julianna Gershbaum, Talia Gross, Joseph Kestenbaum, Shira Levie, Tamar Liberman, and Rachel Markowitz along with the members of Girl Scout Troup 703 of the Young Israel of Hewlett: Michal Beer, Ariella Borah, Avigail Borah, Kayla Evans, Sara Evans, Avigail Feinberg, Esther Fruchter, Samantha Lieberman, Talia Lifshutz, Yonina Schwartz, Dalia Szpilzinger, and Shoshana Weinstein. This annual award is presented to students who raise funds and awareness on behalf of our brethren in Israel. “These dedicated and caring young men and women are the cornerstone of not just our organization, but Jewish life both here and in Israel,” noted Scott Feltman, One Israel Fund’s executive vice president. “I always find it heartwarming to see so many of our young people getting involved because I know it truly inspires those around them to do the same. Each person in attendance has a child, grand- child, family member, neighbor, or student who could stand up here next year as well. The students honored here tonight are the impetus for future awardees.” Another young face at the dinner was Bat El Gimpel, an alumnus of Ulpanat Dolev, a rehabilitation school in the Shomron for abused and troubled junior and senior high school-aged women. Bat El came to New York to share her experiences and thank, not only One Israel Fund and its supporters but also the Oshinskys, who in 1988 founded PROUD (Partners Reaching to Ulpanat Dolev), the organization which supports the all-girls ulpana. “I came to Ulpanat Dolev at 14, a pretty wild child with no family of my own and no clues to my past,” she said. “Now I’m 24 years old, independent, and getting married this May and my Dolev family will stand with me under my chupah. I’m closing the circle of my past and starting a new life for myself and my fiancé. With the help of the Ulpanat Dolev family and One Israel Fund, I am able to stand on my own two feet with determi- 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 81 each day of Pesach, the Torah is teaching The Midrash explains that just as the us that the character of each day remains angels did not recite Hallel on the sev- the same throughout the yom tov. enth day of Pesach (at night), we also do However, the varied sacrifices of Sukkos not recite Hallel on the seventh day. The reveal to us that each day of the holiday first obvious problem with this Midrash is different from the others. is that it fails to explain why only half- Therefore, in honor of the special Hallel is recited on chol hamoed. After all, meaning of each day of Sukkos, repre- the Egyptians drowned on the seventh sented by each specific sacrifice, a com- day not on chol hamoed. Some Acharonim plete Hallel is recited. The latter days of explain that it would be inappropriate to Half And Half Pesach do not have this special character- recite full Hallel on chol hamoed and only istic, consequently only half-Hallel is half-Hallel on the seventh day which is a When we use the term half we don’t don’t say the first 11 pesukim of kepittel 115 recited. (Answer as explained by Rabbi Ari full fledged yom tov. This would seeming- always refer to 50%. When someone is and 116, but we do recite the remainder. Z. Zivotofsky, Ph.D., in Jewish Action). ly lend more importance to chol hamoed called a half-wit that doesn’t mean he The import of half-Hallel is that it is the When the Mishnah Berurah explains than to yom tov. Once we instituted that has half of the intelligence of a regular Hallel that contains some half-chapters, why only half-Hallel is recited he offers a only half-Hallel should be recited on the human. The intent is merely that he not that it is half of the original Hallel. totally different reason than the one seventh day, perforce Hallel had to be has less than 100% of normal intelli- Why do we only recite half of Hallel mentioned in the Gemara. His source is a reduced on chol hamoed as well. gence. When a store has a half-off sale, on the last days of yom tov? The answer Midrash quoted in the Beis Yosef (OC 490). However, why do we need an alternate very often items are only discounted explanation for the recitation of only 20%. If you complain to the manager half-Hallel in addition to the one already he will explain that the half-off mentioned in the Gemara Eiruchin? The moniker refers to the never-used and We are not mourning the death of Kollel Iyun HaDaf offered the following theoretical manufacturer’s suggested answer in their publication Thoughts on retail price (MSRP). Finally, on Pesach The Daily Daf on Eiruchin. There are two we supposedly break the middle the Egyptians who wanted to kill basic reasons for reciting Hallel. First, we matzah in half, but who is able to pro- recite Hallel on festival days in order to duce two perfect halves? Machine us; rather we are signifying that praise Hashem as we celebrate His festi- matzah can be divided on the perfectly val. Second, we recite Hallel in order to placed perforations, but with hand- commemorate a miraculous salvation matzah you have no such luck. the malachim did not sing Shirah. from danger. On chol hamoed Pesach and on the last The Gemara in Eiruchin is asking why days of yom tov we recite half-Hallel. Half- we do not recite the full Hallel on all of Hallel is more like 85% of Hallel. We just the days of Pesach because of the first cut out 22 pesukim from the complete given in the Talmud (Arachin 10a-b) is that That Midrash references a fact in our reason since each day is a moed. The Hallel. Once again the term half is not after the first day of Pesach, the Mussaf Gemara in Sanhedrin (39b). The Gemara Gemara answers that the ensuing days used literally. Most likely the term half- sacrifices are identical each day, while on says that the angels wished to recite of Pesach are not considered independ- Hallel originates from the fact that the Sukkos a unique Mussaf sacrifice is Shirah after the Egyptians drowned in ent mo’adim, as we see from the fact two paragraphs that are skipped are pret- offered each day. The Mussaf sacrifices the Yam Suf but Hashem stopped them. that each day does not have its own ty much the first half of two chapters in are indicative of the character of the yom Hashem said, “My creations are drowning Tehillim. When we recite half-Hallel we tov. By mandating the same sacrifice for in the sea and you are reciting Shirah?” Continued on Page 86

82 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES much more meaning and are associated We are very particular to make sure that with much more emotional impact in there is enough time to make Shema and my memory. adjust davening time for 10-15 weeks of Of course, we also have some compli- the year because of it. cations that you don’t. The kitniyot/non- Each chag,I try to remember to kitniyot ingredients issue is a real pain. write a personal wish to my readers. I Well, actually, that is really the only generally try to remind you that as a advantage you have. Kohein,I look forward to bringing your Another annoying thing is the clock yom tov korbanot at the rebuilt Beit The Pre-Pesach Frenzy change. Yes, you also changed the Hamikdash on the upcoming chag. This clocks already. But you would think Pesach, I will do the same, but Machon The next time you complain about the nitely in the air. that a country of Jews would get the HaMikdash: The Temple Institute has kids underfoot for a couple of days dur- Interestingly, Pesach is the only chag concept of delaying the change until done me one better. They are offering ing your Pesach prep, remember what I in which the differences between Israel after the Seder so that we could start reservations for a portion of a Korban am about to tell you. Our children, and Chutz La’aretz are minimized. OK, (and finish) an hour earlier. We get it Pesach. including the youngest preschoolers, all so we only have one Seder (which is right in the fall, switching to the early As you know (or may not), on erev had off from school since last Friday—11 huge) and we have more chol hamoed. clock the week before Yom Kippur. I am Pesach we will sacrifice the Korban days before the chag (In Israel, they are in But Pesach has always been, at least to sure that the real reason we lose out on Pesach in the rebuilt Beit HaMikdash school from Sunday through Friday). me, a tremendously exciting family Pesach is that it was made as a trade-off (assuming Mashiach arrives) and the That means we had to entertain them for experience. A time when we really get for Yom Kippur. people of Machon HaMikdash dedicate a week and a half in addition to prepar- together and spend time together main- On the flip side, I was able to con- their work and lives to preparing for the ing for Pesach, working at our jobs, and taining family traditions. vince the rabbi to start davening at 9:00 Bayit Shlishi. They want us to show our doing whatever else we might need to Yes, we eat meals on every chag.I a.m. on the first day of Pesach. It may belief that the redemption is coming by take care of. know the old adage that describes 90% not seem so late. But we are one of the reserving a share in a Korban Pesach. As of Jewish holidays as “they wanted to latest minyanim in the area on Shabbat far as I understand, they aren’t buying kill us, G-d saved us, let’s eat!” Yet, on at 8:30, so this was a big jump. As a mat- any animals, just making a commitment Pesach, food is so central to the holiday ter of fact, last Shabbat we started at 8:00 The Temple that the seder and the meals take on a.m. in order to get to Shema on time. Continued on Page 86 Institute has done me one better. They are offering reservations for a portion of a Korban Pesach.

In order to get them out from underfoot and keep them busy, many families will send their kids to Pre-Pesach camps. That’s right, camps. Enterprising teens and owners of private preschools spend the weeks leading up to Pesach distributing flyers and posting e-mail notices about their “amazing,” “best,” “superfun” and every other adjective you can name, camp. Parents, in a frenzy of calculation, spend time analyzing the most important factor to them: which camp will keep my kid occupied for the longest amount of time. Sometimes a trade-off is made. For instance, Moshe has a private basement preschool that he goes to on early dismissal days and school vaca- tions. He has been in the same preschool since we arrived in Israel. He loves the teacher and is incredibly comfortable there. Although we might have been able to find another program for him that would be longer, he stayed with Etti because it is simply easier for us. This is an exciting time here in Israel. There is a frenzy of activity as the country gears up for the chag.Relatives (not just yours, but your neighbor’s as well) whom you may not have seen in a while, arrive from distant shores. Cleaning, cooking...the whole process is something that everyone is involved with. In our office, the secretaries made a rotation that allowed them to work longer individual days, but still be home on other days in order to get their houses cleaned and readied. The local e- mail lists are full of “where can I get” questions and “what can I do” questions, and the spirit of yom tov is defi- 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 83 5TJT Puzzle Page: The Stars Of Pesach

BY YONI GLATT

Solution on Page 87.

Across 3. Calm 1. You might take them out in this paper 4. Loaded 4. Grates, vocally 5. “Yeah, right!” 9. Another famous Moshe 6. Indian garb 14. Slice 7. Stride 15. Pre- Passover Patriarch 8. Low-res and full color 16. Egg in early stages 9. Mark down 17. ___-Wan 10. 5th and Madison 18. Around 11. First name of a Pharaoh actor, 1956 19. Extremely cold 12. a.k.a. Clay 20. Pharaoh, 1998 13. Religious enthusiast Flanders 23. Plague locale, at times 21. Pocket protector go-with 24. Black or Caspian 22. Cornhusker st. 25. Former Chief Rabbi of Israel 25. Deposit usually spread by wind 28. Air and water 26. Ohio Town 33. With 72-Across, Moses (1981) 27. ______Flour (Passover must) 35. ___ Miserables 29. One to lend to Antony 38. Illegal foreigner 30. Old 40. . . . ___ a rich man 31. Abode 41. Dathan, 1956 32. Anti-venom, e.g. 45. Vase 34. Have 46. Basic cake ingredient 35. Veggies at some Seders 47. ___ -cone 36. Astronomer Hubble 48. With 67- Down Moses, 1998 37. Terrific 51. Internet need, for some 39. Not happening 53. NBC skit show 42. Baking soda appendage 54. Pasture 43. Like the New Jersey Nets 56. Northern European capital 44. Anger 60. Aharon, 1998 49. Picks 65. Destroy 50. Ump 68. Indonesian island with a population 52. Cosa Nostra of 3 million 55. Following 69. Single 57. Not the quickest animal at the zoo 70. Decree 58. Jewish calendar? 71. Dodge 59. Signs 72. What some people get over Pesach 60. Athlete 73. Gebrochts 61. What a generous person does 74. Membership option 62. Mid-East Sultanate 75. a.m. and p.m. 63. Pack 64. Sketched Down 65. “___ Not That Into You” 1. Tree dropping 66. “Much ___ about . . .” 2. Persian Gulf municipality 67. See 48 Across

84 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 85 DAF YOMI INSIGHTS on the day that the Egyptians drowned, rejoice at the downfall of our non- ALIYAH CHRONICLE Continued from Page 82 why did the B’nei Yisrael during the year Jewish enemies. No such exception, Continued from Page 83 of Yetzi’as Mitzrayim sing Az Yashir on however, is extended to the malachim unique korban (as does each day of the seventh day? (The Gemara in who are not members of the Jewish to you that the animal will be available Sukkos). The Midrash, however, is Pesachim states according to Rabbi nation. They could not sing Shirah when you need it. Kind of an “avoid the addressing a different question: why do Elazar that they recited Hallel as well!) because Hashem’s creations were erev Pesach rush—make sure you are we not recite the complete Hallel on the Furthermore, if we really are not sup- drowning. To commemorate the occur- covered and reserve now” message. last day of Pesach because of the mirac- posed to sing Shirah on the seventh day rence that the malachim did not sing Before you send me an e-mail or a let- ulous salvation (k’riyas Yam Suf) that of Pesach, we should eliminate Hallel Shirah and to remind us of the accom- ter to the editor telling me that this is occurred on that day (the second rea- altogether, not just subtract a few panying moral lesson, we curtail our kefirah or something of the sort, I want to son)? The Midrash answers that since pesukim. Lastly, the Gemara states in recitation of Hallel on the seventh day state clearly that I am not advocating that some of Hashem’s creations were Megillah that Mordechai kicked Haman somewhat by eliminating some people sign up for this. I did not person- destroyed by this miracle, it is not fit- as he was stepping on him to get onto pesukim. We are not mourning the ally make a reservation. I believe that ting to recite Hallel to commemorate the royal horse. Haman asked death of the Egyptians who wanted to Hashem will take care of all our needs such a salvation. This clearly answers Mordechai, “Doesn’t your Torah say kill us; rather we are signifying that the when the time comes, or at least make it our first question as well. The reason ‘Don’t rejoice at the downfall of your malachim did not sing Shirah, and that possible for us to obtain the necessary mentioned in the Midrash was only enemy.’?” Mordechai responded, “That Hashem shows compassion for all of his supplies. If he could miraculously make meant to explain why we don’t com- is only for one’s Jewish enemies.” So creations. Therefore, half-Hallel on sure that there was room for all those plete Hallel on the seventh day of why should we curtail our recital of Pesach should be recited with complete who came to Yerushalayim for the chag- Pesach, not chol hamoed. The complete Hallel at all because of the drowning of joy and exuberance and not in a half- gim in historical times, he can make sure Hallel is not recited on chol hamoed the gentile Egyptians? hearted manner. Chag Kosher that we all have an animal for Pesach. because there was no significant mira- We are forced to conclude that in fact V’sameiach. May all your matzah be well But I do think the concept of anticipat- cle that occurred on those days and we really should recite the full Hallel on done and not half-baked. O ing the redemption is something that we their yom tov status does not require the seventh day in commemoration of lack and could use more of. Perhaps Rabbi Sebrow leads a daf yomi chaburah at Eitz Hallel as explained in the Gemara in the great miracle Hashem performed for Chayim of Dogwood Park in West Hempstead aliyah would be another way of express- Eiruchin. us. After k’riyas Yam Suf, the Jews recit- and is a rebbi at Mesivta Kesser Yisrael of ing this feeling. Willowbrook. He can be contacted at Some questions still remain. If we are ed Shirah. This is due to the fact that we [email protected]. Rabbi Sebrow would like So I wish you and your families a ter- not supposed to recite Hallel or Shirah as Jews have a special dispensation to to thank Yakov Gross for his technical assistance. rific Pesach. When you come to the Beit HaMikdash to have your Korban Pesach slaughtered, if I am on duty, I would be thrilled to help you in this avodah. On the off chance that there is still no Beit HaMikdash by the time that Pesach arrives, let me wish you a wonderful chag and my brachot for l’shanah haba’ah b’Yerushalayim habenuyah! I wish a mazal tov to our publisher, Larry Gordon, upon the launching of his latest venture, the South Florida Jewish Times. Although it is not as impressive as say, the Bet Shemesh Jewish Times, it is a great step in providing news, community information, and items of general interest to a wonderful part of the country (plus, my snowbird relatives can shep a little nachas each week while they are in their Florida houses). I view Larry as a visionary with an unerring sense of what the community wants to know and learn about. I wish Larry and his family and the 5TJT/SFJT families continued success. Kinneret Update: This will be one of my final updates of the season. I may do a rain season recap after Pesach, just to summarize how we did this year. This week, the Kinneret was down 4 cm, to –212.76, and looks to be at or near the high point of the year. With the arrival of the spring, the temps will warm up and the rains will stop falling. We will probably begin to see drops in the water levels over Pesach. O

Shmuel Katz works at Machon Puah, a non-profit fertility organization that provides (worldwide) free halachic and medical counseling, independent supervision of fertility treatments and educational programming. Shmuel, his wife Goldie, and their six children made aliyah in July of 2006. Prior to his aliyah, Shmuel was the executive director of the Yeshiva of South Shore in Hewlett. You can contact him at [email protected].

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86 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Solution To This Week’s 5TJT Puzzle: The Stars Of Pesach Exiled Fiancé Of Slain Iranian Protester Brings Message Of Peace To Israel

BY SAMUEL SOKOL ISRAEL CORRESPONDENT

Caspian Makan, former fiancé of mur- dered Green movement protester Neda PhotoByJossefA Soltan, visited Israel this week, meeting President Shimon Peres as a self-appoint- viY

ed “ambassador of the Iranian people.” airEngel The exiled Iranian dissident billed himself as a “messenger from the camp of Meeting with President Shimon Peres. peace” and expressed his admiration for Israel’s respect for human rights. Israel’s human rights record “stands in stark con- unarmed female, nobody can murder trast to what occurs under the Iranian what she symbolized and represented,” Puzzle appears on page 84. regime and its leaders,” said Makan. said Peres, meeting with Makan in Makan’s fiancé, Neda Soltan, was shot Jerusalem’s Bet HaNasi. “You can murder a in the chest and killed by a member of person, but not a spirit. One candle can the Iranian Basij paramilitary force in scatter a lot of darkness. And this candle Solution To Last Week’s 5TJT Puzzle: Under The Chupah 2009, when it was deployed to quell mas- will not be extinguished. In this struggle, sive civil unrest in Iran following a dis- I am sure that the progressive and moral puted presidential election. Amidst alle- Iran will emerge victorious.” gations of electoral fraud by presidential “I came to Israel as an ambassador of incumbent Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, sup- the Iranian people, as a messenger from porters of opposition leader Mir-Hossein the camp of peace. I have no doubt that Mousavi staged massive protests in the soul and spirit of Neda felt the sensi- Tehran and other Iranian cities, in what tivity and warmth I received in this came to be known as the Green meeting. The fight will go on,” Makan Revolution. It was during one of these ral- replied. lies that Neda Soltan, who came to be Peres expressed his “great respect for known as “the face of the protests,” was the Iranian protesters who go out to fight killed. The slain 27-year-old philosophy for freedom, unarmed, and receive in student’s name means “voice” or “mes- return bullets in cold blood. I have no sage” in Persian and her death was quick- doubt you will win. You represent a truth ly taken up as a rallying cry for opponents that never grows old, a freedom that has of the regime. no alternative.” “What happened to Neda proves that Israel and Iran enjoyed mostly cordial rela- Puzzle appeared on page 88 of the March 19 issue. even if someone can murder a young, tions prior to the 1979 Iranian revolution. O

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 87 88 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Beth Sholom Dinner 108th Birthday Celebration

At a luncheon held in the New York State Assembly parlor in Albany, New Josh Geller and Steve Lichtman were originally honored for their work as York, in celebration of the 108th anniversary of the birth of the late gabbaim at the 1992 Congregation Beth Sholom dinner, but they did not Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson (L–R): Assemblyman receive their plaques. The plaques were finally delivered at this year’s dinner, Charles D. Lavine, Rabbi Shmuel Butman, Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, held last Saturday night. and Assemblyman David I. Weprin.

This is the offering of Aharon and of his sons… a meal offering perpetual, half of it in the morning, and half of it at night (Vayikra 6:13) The Kohen Gadol’s daily offering was a meal offering, the offering of a poor man. This, for two reasons: that a poor man bringing his pauper’s offering to the Mikdash should not be ashamed; and to awaken humility in the Kohen Gadol’s heart, with the appreciation that before G-d he is the equal of the most impoverished of his brethren.

(Abarbanel) The kohen brought a meal offering on the day that he began serving in the Mikdash, while the Kohen Gadol brought one every day. It is a mark of great- ness that a person regards his every day as a new beginning in which he strives to transcend all his previous achievements.

(Maayanei Shel Torah)

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 89 90 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 26, 2010 91 92 March 26, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES