This Year's Been Tough, but So Are These Ladies,Roller Derby
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PVD Roller Derby: Real Women, Real Athletes, Real Pain Okay, okay, okay. Admit it. You read “roller derby” and your mind went, “Tough hot chicks in ripped stuff swirling around I don’t know what’s happening and they’re on skates and they will kill each other while I drink beer and watch.” Fine. I’ll admit it. Roller derby women are hot shit. They’re strong. They make skating look easy. They have cool names. And I didn’t even realize I completely overlooked their athletic prowess until I took the opportunity to meet with a few players of the Providence Roller Derby. Unbeknownst to me, I was a biased asshole, who now reformed, reports to you that, yes, you too, can evolve when you learn more about this SPORT and the REAL WOMEN (and men) involved. Sorry for the yelling caps. Nah, I’m not that sorry. Let’s talk about this SPORT, damnit. Sport “The level of athleticism has really escalated,” shares Cindy Lou Screw, who’s been part of Providence Roller Derby for eight years. “The amount of effort it takes to skate fast and knock someone over is really hard. I’ve fallen in love with the way everyone is passionate about athletics. It’s playing a sport. [Roller Derby is] not a hobby. “ Cindy Lou Screw’s fellow members nod as we sit at a bar sipping beer and snacking after one of their evening practices. There’s the first years, Goldie Glocks and Dita Von Muerta, and the veterans Cindy Lou Screw, Varla Gunz, and Citizen Toxie. Each one of them shared their reasons for joining Providence Roller Derby and for staying in the league. I gotta say, I was impressed and also disappointed there’s only so many words allowed for an article. These ladies on wheels really are athletes; for example, take Gunz, who does a little Crossfit when she’s not on wheels. “Craisy Dukes says, you need to think of yourself as an athlete in order to succeed and take care of yourself like an athlete,” notes Citizen Toxie,.“We really do.” To even make it to the first year level like Glock and Muerta you have to pass nearly a full year of trials and training. That’s up to four practices a week. This isn’t meant to scare you, reader or fan who’s interested in trying out, but it does separate the merely interested from the true member. “We accept from every level,” emphasizes Toxie, who happens to be the Providence Roller Derby league president. The Providence league has five teams broken down between the competitive travel teams — The RI Riveters (A travel team) and Killah Bees (B travel team) — and the home-city teams: Mob Squad, Old Money Honeys and the Sakonnet River Roller Rats. Right now it’s travel season until July. Travel season is more competitive as it means rankings and a chance at the WFTDA Championship title. Real Women Okay, so I’ve established we’re talking athletes here, not just a bunch of dolled up actors pretending to hurt each other in skates. Want to hear something else? Each of these players are real people. Shocker. But it’s true. I sat next to them and they are sort of like everyone else. By sort of, I mean I still wouldn’t pick a fight with these ladies, but otherwise, I was sitting next to art directors, a veterinary technician, a professor, and a start- up office manager. These athletes on skates hold down careers and manage to play a demanding sport. The references to a roller derby widow are real. They all laugh and agree that the sport can definitely take up a lot of personal time. But it’s really about community. “Know the dedication it takes,” says Glock. “We take on two to three jobs within the roller derby league to make it all happen.” Toxie and the ladies also emphasized how the league does more than just develop athleticism; it offers ample opportunities for professional development, too. Each member wears many hats because of the leagues’ non-profit status (insert shameless plug here about donating to a local nonprofit such as the Providence Roller Derby). Alright, alright, these are real women and real athletes … but you still want me to convince you that Roller Derby isn’t all show. Fine, WWF fan, I’ll tell you. It’s not. Yes, there’s a level of showmanship – the names, the cool outfits, the outspoken players hustling around the track. But that’s part of the appeal. We let ourselves watch millionaires in spandex run, walk and skate on TV with flashing lights and shiny helmets, yet we call them athletes. In other words, Providence Roller Derby is more than fluff, it’s freakin’ substance. Real women, real athletes, real pain. So. Don’t be an asshole. Do go to the next bout. Do cheer for a real-live Providence team. And hey, there’s beer, too. We actually don’t have that many home-city teams. Think about it. Hot damn. Check out the first bout in July – and the entire season by going to the Providence Roller Derby website: providencerollerderby.com. This Year’s Been Tough, But So Are These Ladies Providence Roller Derby has faced a challenging year both home and away. One of those challenges was on Apr 25 at Brown University’s Meehan Auditorium when PRD (#84) went up against Pikes Peak Derby Dames of Colorado (#85). PRD’s Rhode Island Riveters started strong with an early lead that led to a seesaw control of the scoreboard. In the second half, Pikes Peak came back with a fire of grand slams (full five points scored on a pass of the pack) and took the victory with a final score of 82-267. In a double-header the same night, the Rocky Point Rollers played their first bout of the year against the Boston Train Wrecks. The score was far tighter with Rocky Point rocking on the flat track against the friends and familiars of Boston. The Train Wrecks pulled ahead with a win of 188-222. Even in the face of two losses, the ladies of PRD took out their aggressions by bloodying up downtown Providence the following morning for the annual Amos House’s Get Gored For Good fundraiser festival. Wearing bull horns on their helmets and swinging rags of red paint, the girls weren’t on a violent rampage, but having laughs while chasing around participants to raise money for the homeless and hungry of Providence. As of this writing, the event has already raised not only over $121,000, but raised the spirits of those in need and in crisis. This wasn’t the only charity PRD has helped with in the past, as the league also ran a clothing drive all week in a partnership with Savers. As the year heats up, with both home season and the East Coast Derby Extravaganza approaching, the Riveters have sworn to keep on fighting and will have two bouts coming home. First on May 16th against Suburbia (#73) in Yonkers, NY, and here at home on May 30 against Green Mountain (#74) at Brown University. For tickets and more ways to partner up/support various charities, go to ProvidenceRollerDerby.com. Roller Derby Rundown: Brown University, Getting Gored, and ECDX! 2015 has started out tough for the girls, but as the weather heats up, so does action on the flat track for Providence Roller Derby! PRD’s travel team the (#79) Rhode Island Riveters will skate for the first time on the rink of Brown University’s Meehan Auditorium to battle against Colorado’s (#93) Pikes Peak Derby Dames. Also as part of the double-header, PRD’s Rocky Point Rollers will go hip-to-hip with Boston’s down C-Team. It’ll be on Sat, April 25 at 5:30pm. Tickets are cheaper in advance online at ProvidenceRollerDerby.com. The weekend doesn’t just end there! The following morning, Sun, April 26, the girls will be putting on the horns and be on the prowl through the streets of downtown Providence. Why? Because it’s the annual Get Gored For Good: Running of the Bulls – a festival to raise money for the Amos House, a charity helping to combat hunger. Registered runners will make their way through the streets and obstacle courses while being hunted down by the roller girls acting as the bulls and getting “gored” (tagged with red paint). It’s an all-ages event that is still taking donations and registrations. For more information, go to GetGoredForGood.org. Finally, more great news comes PRD’s way, as for the second year in a row the Riveters will be traveling to Philadelphia on June 19-21 for this year’s East Coast Derby Extravaganza, which is three days of derby featuring selected teams and skaters from around the world. Last year, the Riveters had the opportunity to take on some of the ladies from across the Atlantic: (#60) Tiger Bay Brawlers (Wales) and (#82) Crime City Rollers (Sweden). Their opponents this year are TBA, but for this and all other upcoming bouts and news, go to ProvidenceRollerDerby.com. Don’t forget to add them on Facebook and Twitter! *Rankings are as of Feb 28, 2015. Photo Essay: Proposed Area for New Paw Sox Stadium in Providence Lawyer James J. Skeffington took a walking tour Thursday of the former Route 195 land in Providence where he and other owners of the PawSox hope to build a new stadium for the team.