PVD : Real Women, Real Athletes, Real Pain

Okay, okay, okay. Admit it. You read “roller derby” and your mind went, “Tough hot chicks in ripped stuff swirling around I don’t know what’s happening and they’re on skates and they will kill each other while I drink beer and watch.”

Fine. I’ll admit it.

Roller derby women are hot shit. They’re strong. They make skating look easy. They have cool names. And I didn’t even realize I completely overlooked their athletic prowess until I took the opportunity to meet with a few players of the Providence Roller Derby.

Unbeknownst to me, I was a biased asshole, who now reformed, reports to you that, yes, you too, can evolve when you learn more about this SPORT and the REAL WOMEN (and men) involved.

Sorry for the yelling caps. Nah, I’m not that sorry. Let’s talk about this SPORT, damnit. Sport

“The level of athleticism has really escalated,” shares Cindy Lou Screw, who’s been part of Providence Roller Derby for eight years. “The amount of effort it takes to skate fast and knock someone over is really hard. I’ve fallen in love with the way everyone is passionate about athletics. It’s playing a sport. [Roller Derby is] not a hobby. “

Cindy Lou Screw’s fellow members nod as we sit at a bar sipping beer and snacking after one of their evening practices. There’s the first years, Goldie Glocks and Dita Von Muerta, and the veterans Cindy Lou Screw, Varla Gunz, and Citizen Toxie. Each one of them shared their reasons for joining Providence Roller Derby and for staying in the league. I gotta say, I was impressed and also disappointed there’s only so many words allowed for an article.

These ladies on wheels really are athletes; for example, take Gunz, who does a little Crossfit when she’s not on wheels. “Craisy Dukes says, you need to think of yourself as an athlete in order to succeed and take care of yourself like an athlete,” notes Citizen Toxie,.“We really do.”

To even make it to the first year level like Glock and Muerta you have to pass nearly a full year of trials and training. That’s up to four practices a week. This isn’t meant to scare you, reader or fan who’s interested in trying out, but it does separate the merely interested from the true member.

“We accept from every level,” emphasizes Toxie, who happens to be the Providence Roller Derby league president.

The Providence league has five teams broken down between the competitive travel teams — The RI Riveters (A travel team) and Killah Bees (B travel team) — and the home-city teams: Mob Squad, Old Money Honeys and the Sakonnet River Roller Rats.

Right now it’s travel season until July. Travel season is more competitive as it means rankings and a chance at the WFTDA Championship title.

Real Women

Okay, so I’ve established we’re talking athletes here, not just a bunch of dolled up actors pretending to hurt each other in skates.

Want to hear something else? Each of these players are real people. Shocker. But it’s true. I sat next to them and they are sort of like everyone else. By sort of, I mean I still wouldn’t pick a fight with these ladies, but otherwise, I was sitting next to art directors, a veterinary technician, a professor, and a start- up office manager.

These athletes on skates hold down careers and manage to play a demanding sport.

The references to a roller derby widow are real. They all laugh and agree that the sport can definitely take up a lot of personal time. But it’s really about community.

“Know the dedication it takes,” says Glock. “We take on two to three jobs within the roller derby league to make it all happen.”

Toxie and the ladies also emphasized how the league does more than just develop athleticism; it offers ample opportunities for professional development, too. Each member wears many hats because of the leagues’ non-profit status (insert shameless plug here about donating to a local nonprofit such as the Providence Roller Derby).

Alright, alright, these are real women and real athletes … but you still want me to convince you that Roller Derby isn’t all show. Fine, WWF fan, I’ll tell you.

It’s not.

Yes, there’s a level of showmanship – the names, the cool outfits, the outspoken players hustling around the track. But that’s part of the appeal. We let ourselves watch millionaires in spandex run, walk and skate on TV with flashing lights and shiny helmets, yet we call them athletes. In other words, Providence Roller Derby is more than fluff, it’s freakin’ substance. Real women, real athletes, real pain.

So. Don’t be an asshole.

Do go to the next bout. Do cheer for a real-live Providence team. And hey, there’s beer, too. We actually don’t have that many home-city teams. Think about it.

Hot damn.

Check out the first bout in July – and the entire season by going to the Providence Roller Derby website: providencerollerderby.com.

This Year’s Been Tough, But So Are These Ladies

Providence Roller Derby has faced a challenging year both home and away. One of those challenges was on Apr 25 at Brown University’s Meehan Auditorium when PRD (#84) went up against Pikes Peak Derby Dames of Colorado (#85). PRD’s Rhode Island Riveters started strong with an early lead that led to a seesaw control of the scoreboard. In the second half, Pikes Peak came back with a fire of grand slams (full five points scored on a pass of the pack) and took the victory with a final score of 82-267.

In a double-header the same night, the Rocky Point Rollers played their first bout of the year against the Boston Train Wrecks. The score was far tighter with Rocky Point rocking on the flat track against the friends and familiars of Boston. The Train Wrecks pulled ahead with a win of 188-222.

Even in the face of two losses, the ladies of PRD took out their aggressions by bloodying up downtown Providence the following morning for the annual Amos House’s Get Gored For Good fundraiser festival. Wearing bull horns on their helmets and swinging rags of red paint, the girls weren’t on a violent rampage, but having laughs while chasing around participants to raise money for the homeless and hungry of Providence. As of this writing, the event has already raised not only over $121,000, but raised the spirits of those in need and in crisis. This wasn’t the only charity PRD has helped with in the past, as the league also ran a clothing drive all week in a partnership with Savers.

As the year heats up, with both home season and the East Coast Derby Extravaganza approaching, the Riveters have sworn to keep on fighting and will have two bouts coming home. First on May 16th against Suburbia (#73) in Yonkers, NY, and here at home on May 30 against Green Mountain (#74) at Brown University. For tickets and more ways to partner up/support various charities, go to ProvidenceRollerDerby.com. Roller Derby Rundown: Brown University, Getting Gored, and ECDX!

2015 has started out tough for the girls, but as the weather heats up, so does action on the flat track for Providence Roller Derby! PRD’s travel team the (#79) Rhode Island Riveters will skate for the first time on the rink of Brown University’s Meehan Auditorium to battle against Colorado’s (#93) Pikes Peak Derby Dames. Also as part of the double-header, PRD’s Rocky Point Rollers will go hip-to-hip with Boston’s down C-Team. It’ll be on Sat, April 25 at 5:30pm. Tickets are cheaper in advance online at ProvidenceRollerDerby.com.

The weekend doesn’t just end there! The following morning, Sun, April 26, the girls will be putting on the horns and be on the prowl through the streets of downtown Providence. Why? Because it’s the annual Get Gored For Good: Running of the Bulls – a festival to raise money for the Amos House, a charity helping to combat hunger. Registered runners will make their way through the streets and obstacle courses while being hunted down by the roller girls acting as the bulls and getting “gored” (tagged with red paint). It’s an all-ages event that is still taking donations and registrations. For more information, go to GetGoredForGood.org.

Finally, more great news comes PRD’s way, as for the second year in a row the Riveters will be traveling to Philadelphia on June 19-21 for this year’s East Coast Derby Extravaganza, which is three days of derby featuring selected teams and skaters from around the world. Last year, the Riveters had the opportunity to take on some of the ladies from across the Atlantic: (#60) Brawlers () and (#82) (Sweden). Their opponents this year are TBA, but for this and all other upcoming bouts and news, go to ProvidenceRollerDerby.com. Don’t forget to add them on Facebook and Twitter!

*Rankings are as of Feb 28, 2015.

Photo Essay: Proposed Area for New Paw Sox Stadium in Providence

Lawyer James J. Skeffington took a walking tour Thursday of the former Route 195 land in Providence where he and other owners of the PawSox hope to build a new stadium for the team. Brown University owns a northern parcel of the land, where its Admissions Office is currently located. The southern section had been slated for a public park. Get a better sense of where exactly this parcel of land is and take a look at some pictures taken from the site:

Riveters Looking Rise: Providence Roller Derby 2015!

Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Fans and fiends! And everyone in between! The 2015 season of Providence Roller Derby is about to begin! If you missed last year’s season, PRD’s travel and home seasons delivered more drama and excitement than ever before. During travel team season, the Rhode Island Riveters was a team on fire with wins over Roc City and Gainsville, hard fought battles against Crime City (Sweden) and Tiger Bay (Wales), and a return to the Bank of American Skating Rink with Olympic-medalist Michelle Kwan, who joined the ladies on the flat track.

In 2013, the Riveters finished at #92 in the rankings (out of 176) and last year they climbed the ladder to #78. This year, they are set to play against some familiar and unfamiliar faces, such as (#75) Green Mountain Derby Dames, (#31) Nashville Rollergirls, (#57) Suburbia Roller Girls and others, including a one-day double header on Sat, March 21 against (#92) Charlotte Roller Girls and (#35) Columbia Quad Squad in South Carolina.

Home season last year was a rollercoaster of close victories. The Mob Squad reigned undefeated until losing their last season game against The Old Money Honey in overtime. The Sakonnet River Roller Rats held their own in their final game against the Honeys, but came up short. The Mob Squad won the championship game against the Honeys by only 10 points, which in derby is a very tight score! Can the Mob retain their status this season?

Don’t forget: The derby girls don’t just put on their skates to battle one another! In between bouts, you can catch them at various events, including this year’s Get Gored For Good “Running of the Bulls” on April 26 in downtown Providence. They will don their horned helmets and chase down participants to raise money for the Amos House.

For tickets and info about bout times and locations, go to ProvidenceRollerDerby.com or “like” them at Facebook.com/ProvidenceRollerDerby. To participate in Get Gored For Good, go to GetGoredForGood.org.

Opinion: Questions Surround the PawSox Sale

Ben Mondor, after buying the franchise out of bankruptcy in 1977, turned the Pawtucket Red Sox into a national model of how to run a successful, fan-friendly, family-friendly, and profitable minor-league baseball team. Until his death in 2010, Mondor defined the beloved institution that became, arguably, Rhode Island’s premier professional sports organization. On February 23, it was announced that a consortium of partners, including its parent major-league Boston Red Sox organization, bought the PawSox from its prior owners, including Mondor’s widow, and planned to find a new playing venue outside the City of Pawtucket.

The news stunned fans who have come to see McCoy Stadium in Pawtucket as part of the experience. Built in 1940 with about half of its current capacity, it pre-dates the 1950s architectural preference for generic multipurpose athletic and entertainment facilities instead of baseball-only parks, a trend that dominated into the 1990s. McCoy is small, with a capacity of 10,000, but typical of the rest of the AAA- level International League in which the PawSox play: of the 14 league members, 8 play in parks with capacity between 10,000 and 10,500. By contrast, major-league baseball venues seat between 35,000 (Oakland) and 56,000 (Los Angeles).

Whatever its shortcomings, not least its age and location some distance off the Interstate highway and surrounded by unbuildable swampland, city-owned McCoy Stadium has one indisputable advantage: it’s already paid for. Nor is it in disrepair, with significant renovations in the late 1990s and early 2000s financed by rounds of government bonds that totaled around $15 million. There is abundant free parking.

The new owners have told anyone who will listen that they want to move the team to Providence, building a new “destination stadium” on land condemned by the state because of the I-195 highway relocation project. Various sources have cited a combined cost of about $100 million, of which $60 million would be new construction and $40 million would be land, each part raising separate questions. According to numerous reports, the expectation is that construction would be privately financed while the land would be subject to some as-yet-undetermined public subsidy.

There is no doubt that $60 million of construction is not justified by baseball alone. Valuing a professional sports franchise is incredibly difficult, because often prices are driven more by owner ego and intangible fan goodwill than by any rational accounting measure. The PawSox are a private business and do not disclose their financial information, but The Boston Globe estimated the sales price for the team at $20 million, which seems about right. The forced sale last year of the National Basketball Association Los Angeles Clippers was reportedly at a price of $2 billion, but that’s a very different world where tickets sell for many times the cost of minor-league baseball, much of the revenue derives from television rights, and the hometown is the nation’s second-largest metropolitan area with a population of 13.1 million. The Providence metropolitan area, which includes parts of nearby Massachusetts, is the nation’s 38th largest with a population of 1.6 million.

Without access to the PawSox financials, it is possible to do some quick “back of the envelope” calculations. Most income comes from ticket sales. If the PawSox sold out all 10,000 seats in 70 games per season at an average ticket price of $10 per seat, that would generate about $7 million per year. Selling out every seat at every game is unrealistic, but this establishes an upper limit. If every attendee also bought $10 worth of food and beer, that would add another $7 million. (Since we’re making unjustified assumptions, anyway, we might as well keep the math simple.) Advertising isn’t much, probably all together under $100,000 per year; even the principal naming rights on a major-league stadium are only worth around $50,000 per year. Adding in a few extras, such as luxury boxes and special events, this establishes an upper bound of about $15 million in annual gross revenue under the most optimistic possible scenario; in all likelihood, it’s probably actually closer to half that.

But that is gross revenue, from which operating expenses, including everything from payroll to cost of goods for resale, must be deducted. Employees cost money, as do the hot dogs and beer being sold. If we assume that the PawSox are a well-administered and tightly run business with good internal controls, they might be able to keep expenses down to about 80% of gross, leaving 20% as net profit – which is still only about $3 million per year under the optimistic scenario. A more realistic guess would be half that, and it would not be surprising to learn that the PawSox are operating close to break-even. The revenue potential is what is technically called “inelastic,” because doubling prices for tickets and concessions, for example, would probably depress sales and result in a net negative result.

Although $3 million per year in profit may seem like a large number, and it is a pretty healthy chunk of change for what is essentially a locally controlled small business, it does not justify constructing a $60 million stadium. Anyone willing to make that sort of capital investment is expecting revenue well beyond baseball. The typical claim is that a new stadium would be a catalyst for development, drawing additional new construction for shopping malls, hotels, entertainment venues and urban businesses. The problem with that model in Providence is that this already happened a short distance away. Just as the opening of the Providence Place Mall cannibalized the malls in Warwick, driving the Rhode Island Mall into closure, any new shopping mall would compete with the Providence Place Mall and any new entertainment arena would compete with the Civic Center/Dunkin Donuts Center.

So what justifies a $60 million construction project at the proposed location? Once the traditional urban renaissance businesses are ruled out, the only kind of business not already in Downtown Providence with the potential to generate enough revenue, at least that I can think of, would be a gambling casino. I have no evidence that this is what is intended by anyone, but the numbers really don’t work in any other way that I can see. Could Providence support two adjacent shopping malls and two adjacent indoor arenas at the same time? Or will the end result be to do to Twin River what was done to the Rhode Island Mall?

Originally, the plan was to use the I-195 relocation project land for office complexes, establishing a “knowledge district” in co-operation with Brown University and its medical school, the Rhode Island School of Design, Johnson and Wales University, and other entities who already have a strong presence in that area. The state floated almost $40 million in bonds to buy that land via eminent domain from property owners, expecting to repay those bonds from proceeds of selling the land to private developers to create the knowledge district.

Eminent domain, the power of the government to condemn private land and take it from property owners for public purposes, is a hotly contested political issue today. The Takings Clauses in both the federal and state constitutions afford protection against government abuse, requiring that the taking be for “public use” and that the owner be given “just compensation,” terms that have led to numerous court disputes. In 2006, the United States Supreme Court decided that the town of New London, Conn., could involuntarily take land from one private owner and transfer it to another private owner to further a redevelopment plan that would result in higher property taxes. That ruling sparked massive outrage leading to a national reform effort, with several states prohibiting such practices by legislative or judicial action. In the end, the New London redevelopment plan fell through, leaving the land vacant after most of the buildings on it had already been knocked down, and it ended up becoming, quite literally, a dump – further fueling political outrage.

While the Providence land was originally condemned for a highway project, its value was appraised subject to the plan for eventual use as part of the knowledge district. Although the general rule is that “just compensation” in the context of eminent domain is based upon the fair market value at the time of the taking and does not consider future uses that are purely speculative, this is not an absolute rule and there are exceptions where it would work an injustice. If the original owners of the land sued the state claiming that, had their land not been taken involuntarily then the construction of a “destination stadium” might have greatly increased its value, they might well have a case. Even if that is an uphill legal battle in the face of precedents dating to the 1930s, the mere filing of a suit would have two guaranteed effects: First, the state would be exposed to potentially enormous liability that could plausibly reach several times the $40 million actually paid for the land, and, second, the assertion of such an argument citing the constitutional Takings Clauses would instantly raise the court case to national political significance. And, of course, the state might lose.

How – or even if – the state plans to make the I-195 land available for a new stadium is unclear. According to press reports, the new owners of the PawSox have not actually asked for it and the elected officials of the state say they have not yet been asked for it. If the proposal involves the state providing the land at no cost, sticking the taxpayers with the $40 million bond cost if the land is not sold as planned, that would seem a political and financial impossibility.

Official projections are that the Rhode Island state government will spend $151.1 million more than it takes in during the fiscal year ending in 2016 and $256.7 million more than it takes in during the fiscal year ending in 2017. The political climate has been thoroughly poisoned by the 38 Studios collapse into bankruptcy in 2012 that may or may not have left the taxpayers holding the bag for at least $75 million of loan guarantees.

Ultimately, the fiscal realities of today make any sizable public subsidy of a sports stadium unlikely in the way it might have been done in the past. The Buffalo Bisons, the AAA-level competitors of the PawSox, play in the largest park in the International League with a capacity of over 18,000; it was built in the 1980s at a reported cost of $42 million, of which the State of New York kicked in $22 million and various city, county and other public contributors paid for the rest. It is widely acclaimed as a beautiful venue and was, in fact, the prototype for Camden Yards, the home of the Baltimore Orioles, by the same designer.

While the PawSox are as archetypically American as baseball, motherhood and apple pie, devoted fans have to recognize that their deep emotional loyalty is to a private business. If the PawSox decide to leave Pawtucket for what they see as greener pastures, there is not much that anyone can do to stop them. I fear the team will inevitably raise the threat of moving to another state if the Providence stadium does not materialize. Whether to publicly subsidize the project and to what extent are decisions that must be made with cold rationality and in light of hard numbers with full transparency and disclosure. We cannot afford another 38 Studios deal cooked up in back rooms and railroaded through without due diligence.

Teams of the AAA-level International League and their venues: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_League

Playing venues of major-league baseball teams: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Major_League_Baseball_stadiums

Landmark Supreme Court case on the constitutional Takings Clause: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelo_v._City_of_New_London

“Pawtucket Red Sox sold; group eyes Providence” by Alex Speier, Boston Globe, Feb 23: http://www.bostonglobe.com/sports/2015/02/23/mayor-says-pawtucket-red-sox-will-move/cNerQbMyPuH xu2tk9EaqfL/story.html

“Mixed scorecard for ballpark economics” by Paul Grimaldi, Providence Journal, Feb 28: http://www.providencejournal.com/article/20150228/NEWS/150229285/14070

“It’s the Economy, Stupid!” by Michael Bilow, Motif, Aug 6: http://motifri.com/its-the-economy-stupid-bilow-issues-edited/ Extreme Picnicking

Last year around this time in the season, my restless friends and I began to develop a new hobby. Refusing to be kept indoors by the cold weather, we set out to the woods in pursuit of a new kind of adventure. Perhaps it could be described as culinary hiking, or maybe extreme picnicking. Either way, I think we stumbled onto something pretty cool. It began on a Sunday morning in the middle of January. At this point, outdoor activities were becoming less about deliberate plans, and more about frolicking around like children in the winter woods. As fun as that can be, if there is no plan or goal materializing, I eventually long for the warmth and comfort of the indoors. Catching a fish, taking a great photo, even throwing knives at tree stumps in my friend’s backyard are all good reasons to be outside when you can see your breath and can not feel your fingers. When the weather is in the 20s, I need a reason to be out there all day. On this particular Sunday morning, the plan was to head out with the usual gang. Nate, Jay and I entered the snowy trails of Coventry with the simple plan of cooking lunch over a fire. There would be a good hike, some hot food and a little bit of whisky to go around. Nothing fancy, just a good ol’ bro-down in the woods. We stopped at a dollar store on the way to stock up on supplies. For less than $10, we picked up some rice, beans and bottles of Gatorade. Nate brought a pepper for flavor, and some kind of compact cooking device. It was time to head out to the woods and cook. We stumbled around over ice and snow until we arrived at our destination. It was a little path that jutted out over a frozen swamp like a peninsula. We were on dry land, but had access to the ice all around us if we wanted to slide around like little boys. Here we set up camp, which really just means that we put our bags down, put a little fire together, and passed the whisky around. There wasn’t anywhere to sit so we just crouched. Soon after, the food was ready. The three of us dug through a pan of hot rice and beans like it was going out of style. We walked out on the ice where we threw tomahawks at dead trees. It took me a few tries, but I started to get the hang of it. We saw a bunch of wild turkeys travel by in the distance. We watched in silence as they migrated across the swamp until I let out an alarmingly loud, ridiculous sounding turkey call. This made my friends laugh, but the turkeys didn’t seem to care. They just kept moving. Overall, it was an excellent first crack at our budding new hobby. As the following week crept by, we pondered new ideas for a culinary winter hike. The next outing would prove to be better. Sunday came, and we hiked over the same sketchy swamp. I had gotten better at throwing tomahawks into dead trees. Not only was I sticking about three out of four throws, I was hitting softball sized targets as well. An owl that looked perfectly adapted to the snowy landscape swooped close to us. We came across an old hunting cabin with a collapsed roof and admired it for a few minutes. Eventually, we found our spot and set up camp. This time, Jay rigged the cooking supplies to a sled, which made it much easier to pull them through the snow. There was a large field we had to cross where the snow was deep. With each step we took, Nate and I sank up to our knees. That got tiring real fast, but we had to cross it. Jay was the only one with the foresight to wear snowshoes. Nate and I just kept trudging through. We arrived at our site and made a little fire. On this trip, there were bigger culinary aspirations. Nate and Jay cooked up strips of bacon, bite-sized pieces of chicken and corn with our rice and beans. Jay tried to make bannock, which is a round, flat bread usually cooked in a pan. It was his first attempt, and it came out alright, but not quite like the pancake-like bread he intended. We crouched down and dug into our meal, only this time there were rocks to sit on. Once again, a little fire and some tight friends made for an amazing day in the woods. A tiny mouse came sniffing around and found its way over to our camp. It had no fear in coming right up to us to see what we had to offer. Jay threw a single kernel of corn near it. The mouse sniffed around and quickly found the offering. Nate and I joined in and threw the mouse more corn, which must have been unlike anything it had ever eaten. This guy was eating canned corn that was cooked in grease and oil from bacon. I bet it was delicious. It hung around for about 10 minutes, then moved on to other things. I wonder if that owl ever scooped it up. The day was closing out, and the hike back was complimented by the sight of four deer running off in the distance. I was tired from a day well spent, and still had to treck back across the field of deep snow. At least I had a full stomach this time. Once again, we had a full week to come up with next Sunday’s menu. On the third time out, our friend Forrest came along. We went to a spot in Exeter. Jay brought marinated beef chunks, Nate considered what went wrong with last week’s bannock and corrected it and I brought an apple in case we cooked up something that would benefit from apple slices. If not, I still had an apple to eat. There was also the usual rice and beans to go around. We cooked the beef chunks on sticks and ate them kabob style. As I savored the amazing taste and gazed at the little frozen pond we were sitting by, I was beyond happy to be out in the winter woods. We took a few turns throwing the tomahawks and pretty much stuck each throw. We were beginning to get this whole thing down. At this point, we were sure we were on to something. With each trip, the meals got better and more refined. The hikes and destinations became more planned and strategic. Nature gave us the entertainment, and during the down time, we entertained each other. If you can manage to get a few hours of free time, you might enjoy a culinary trip into the woods. Obviously, it would be better with friends. Spring will be here before we know it, and we will be adding trout and wild berries to the menu. It just keeps getting better.

BreakTime Bowl and Bar’s Grand Opening A new bar scene is coming to Pawtucket in the Hope Artiste Village, just a stone’s throw from the Providence line, and will enable patrons to watch scenes from The Big Lebowski and Kingpin while drinking beer (or White Russians, for Dudes who abide) and playing a little duckpin bowling themselves. It’s easily the most unique bar I’ve visited, situated on the third floor of the old mill that houses The Met and the Saturday Farmer’s Market—it is a true renovation project that gives one the feeling of being back to the 1920s, when this bowling alley was first established. (It was actually put in place to keep the mill workers from joining a Union, ultimately an unsuccessful endeavor.) The high-top tables are made of wood from the mill’s old stairwells, and the bar itself was fashioned from 100-year-old wood flooring. Despite the rustic history of the establishment, everything looks shiny and new, and it gives one the distinct impression of stepping straight out of the 21st century and into the past.

I was lucky enough to preview the scene before its official grand opening, and as it was too cold for my New Mexican, desert-born blood to reason properly, I did not enter through the doorway marked with the correct address because I hit The Met and thought I’d gone too far. Words of wisdom to the frozen traveler: The bar is above the Bread Lab, past the Farmer’s Market entrance and The Met entrance. In fact, it is the Bread Lab that provides the food for BreakTime, and their grilled cheese and tomato soup combo is the perfect fix for a cold winter’s day. That, of course, and the full bar. With 20 or so beers to choose from — four of them on tap — a couple of ciders, a nice selection of wines and ingredients to make your favorite cocktails, it’s easy to keep warm or cool on the third floor.

I chose my drink with no hesitation, a Mark West Pinot Noir, and sampled one of every appetizer, from the grilled vegetable sliders with balsamic fig relish to fried ravioli with marinara sauce to the crab- stuffed mushrooms (so good I promoted them to everyone else). I recognized a familiar face behind the bar, a mixologist from my favorite spot downtown, and he helped me understand the phenomenon that is duckpin bowling. Many Rhode Islanders might be familiar with this, but I never knew there were different types of pins and bowling balls. I thought “duckpin” somehow related to the human pinsetters who sat like ducks at the end of the lanes, but it turns out, no; the pins are different, shorter and smaller and less likely to fly kamikaze-like at said human pinsetters. The bowling balls are also smaller and lack finger holes, a mind-blowing concept. Despite these differences, I decided to give it a whirl, mostly because it didn’t require rental shoes (any shoes without high heels will do!), and I’d already drunk some wine so my inhibitions were low. I somehow struck four pins on my first shot, and channeling my inner George Costanza, decided to leave on a high note. (Standard rules for duckpin bowling allow three rolls per frame instead of two, as strikes are harder to achieve.) The going rate for a lane is reasonable, and I highly recommend it. Any sport that allows granny shots without mockery is worth a try.*

*for the record, this is not how I achieved my four-pin hit.

BreakTime Bowl and Bar will be open Thurs – Sat, from 4pm – 1am on Thurs and Fri, and 9am – 1am on Sat. The early Sat hours means Farmer’s Market goers can shop till they drop, and then drop some pins (#gutterhumor #sorrynotsorry). Even non-bowlers will appreciate the retro-atmosphere, the cozy couches and the scenes playing from their favorite cult classics. Anyone seeking a getaway, whether from the normal nighttime scene or the grueling work week or the modernized 21st century, will find a place at Pawtucket’s BreakTime.

999 Main St, Suite 1330 (3rd floor), Pawtucket. For more information or to make reservations, call 844.467.3383 or visit breaktimebowlandbar.com

Places to Plunge 2014-15

New Year’s Day Polar Bear Plunge: The Newport Polar Bears invite anyone crazy enough to join them for a swim in the Frosty North Atlantic Ocean. All proceeds from the swim and at the after swim party go to A Wish Come True. Help raise money for a great charity. Noon, Easton’s Beach, Memorial Blvd, Newport. discovernewport.org Freezin’ for a Reason: Annual Penguin Plunge: I guess plunges aren’t just for polar bears anymore! Hot soup and t-shirts available for registered participants. Prizes for top fundraisers. Hoodies for fundraising over $250. Costumes welcome, water shoes strongly advised. Registration at 10:30am, plunge at noon. The Andrea on Misquamicut Beach, 89 Atlantic Ave, Westerly. warmcenter.org 39th Annual Penguin Plunge: Waddle to the water, winter warriors! Registration at 10am, plunge at noon. Roger Wheeler State Beach, Narragansett. specialolympicsri.org 5th Annual Memorial Polar Plunge for Pop-Pop Dick Buscher: To benefit SRIV’s Meals on Wheels. Hosted by the Narragansett Lions Club. All participants will receive a free SRIV “Polar Plunge for Pop- Pop” towel to warm up with after the plunge. Registration at 11am, plunge at noon. Narragansett Town Beach, Narragansett. southernrivol.org Block Island Plunge: Take the plunge and emerge victorious! 11am – 1pm, Hope Brown Center, Farnham Farm, Prudence Island. prudencebayislandstransport.com Jamestown 1st Day Plunge: To benefit the American Cancer Society as well as the local Jamestown PTO. Prior to the plunge, there will be a Penguin Paddle and stand-up paddle board race. Plus, community band, fire pits, music and Paco’s Tacos. 11am – 12:45pm, Conanicus Ave, Jamestown. jamestown1stdayplunge.com Frozen Clam Plunge: Join the RI Mentoring Partnership and Laid-Back Fitness to brave the icy cold waters and take a dip. Participants will receive a Frozen Clam tee-shirt (Who doesn’t want that?).The team with the most plungers will get the use of a heated tent at the event to change and dry off. 11am – 1pm, Goddard Park State Beach, 1095 Ives Rd, East Greenwich. mentorri.org Annual Polar Plunge: Locals and visitors jump in the ocean to benefit the Block Island Lion’s Club. Hot chocolate is provided. Noon at Fred Benson Town Beach, 7 Corn Neck Rd, New Shoreham. blockislandinfo.com 4th Annual Pit Bull Plunge: Hosted by The Little Rhodie Bully Breed Club, Inc. C’mon … if your dog can do it, so can you! 10am, Warwick City Park, Beach Area, Warwick. dynamicdogtraining.webs.com 3rd Annual Punk Rock Plunge: Benefiting A Wish Come True. Typically noon, Location TBD. punksforaprincess.com The RI CAN Polar Plunge: Jump (run, waddle, hop, roll, get dragged unwillingly) into the freezing waters of the Atlantic to benefit RI Center Assisting those in Need (RI CAN). After the plunge, celebrate at The Breachway Grill and warm up with pizza, cash bar and live music by Boat Cake. Registration at 11:30am, plunge at noon, Charlestown Town Beach, Charlestown. rhodeislandcan.org

The Fish Are Still Biting It is late fall, and Christmas will be here any day. I haven’t gone fishing in over a month, and conditions will not be ideal again until the end of April. I am caught up in the holiday hustle, and haven’t had a second to think about time by the water. It’s going to be a long winter. It always is when you are antsy to go fishing.My friends and I send each other fishing memes and reports of other friends who have had scant luck on the water. I start thinking about new lures I could invent, or modifications I could make to existing gear. We are all fidgety and longing for our favorite pastime.

This is when I try to get around to organizing my scattered melee of tackle left over from the last season. By now there are freshwater lures in my saltwater tackle box. Basic essentials like hooks and split shot weights are elusive. There is probably a Slim Jim wrapper in my freshwater bag. All of my gear is in utter shambles. Still, I ponder the possibilities of casting a line.

Most stillwater will be frozen soon. I could head to a river or to areas just above or below dams. In the colder water, the fish become lethargic and don’t move around as much, so if I find an opening in the ice and can manage to cast into it, I’ll have to maneuver my bait slowly.

Of all the species that I may hook up to, it seems to me, and to other fishermen I talk to, that pickerel are of the few that are biting this time of year.

Ahh, the noble pickerel. They are slimy and have teeth. Most anglers think they are just plain ugly. They are not a prized fish by many peoples’ standards and most people would never think about eating one. Trout tastes amazing, striper is a delicacy, flounder has a unique texture. These are widely celebrated fish for their culinary value. Still, I have heard from a few of my less picky fishing peers that pickerel are fine table fare.

When targeting pickerel, most strikes occur within 10 feet of land. They often hide in the weeds that grow on the edge of a body of water and dart out like a spear at unsuspecting prey. They are not too biased in their pursuit of food. Many fish hunt for certain prey within their habitat, while pickerel are generalists that seem to eat anything that crosses their path. This makes it easier to fish for them and might be why anglers tend to think of them as a consolation prize. Many people target bass, but catch pickerel in the process. I can see how that could be annoying.

Like a pickerel, I am also a generalist. I don’t target a particular species when I fish. In fact, I most often use in-line spinners, which are one of the most versatile lures available. A day of freshwater fishing often ends with my friends catching one to four bass each, and me catching a bass, two pickerel, and a yellow perch, maybe even a sunfish. I usually leave with the higher numbers of fish to my credit, and my friends leave with a higher total of weight.

Usually when I mention the prospect of eating a pickerel, most fishermen respond that they would never eat one because they are too bony. I do not doubt that, but I wonder if any of these people are speaking from experience, or just reciting what they have heard from other fishermen. I decided it was time for me to try one and find out for myself.

At the end of this past summer, I went to a spot in Exeter where I catch lots of pickerel. I fish there a lot and began to wonder if this little pond in the middle of the woods even holds other kinds of fish. Eventually, I caught bass and perch there and confirmed the presence of other species. Still, the majority of fish that my friends and I catch there are pickerel. I figured it was the perfect spot to accomplish my goal.

I arrived with my friends Jay and Nate. As usual, I was equipped with my shiny in-line spinner. I made some casts and it was not long until I had a fish on the line. The pickerel put up a worthy fight as they always do, which is the little bit of credit bass fishermen seem to give the species. I pulled it onto land, and with nervous excitement, proclaimed that I am keeping this one. It was time to find out how a pickerel tastes.

I cleaned the fish right on the edge of the water, then Jay put butter and seasoning on it and wrapped it in aluminum foil. We cooked it over a flame for about 15 minutes. I cooked the tail end with no seasoning just to see how nature intended it to taste. The fish tasted a little better than I expected, which probably had a lot to do with Jay cooking it. However, I can now tell you from experience that pickerel are bony. If you want to get out of your warm living room on your day off, and venture into the cold outdoors like the wackos I hang out with, you might want to give fishing for pickerel a try. In-line spinners are probably not your best bet in cold water though. They require fish to chase after them, which is unlikely this time of year. Buying a bucket of live shiners is probably your best bet. The clerk at the local bait shop should be happy to give you advice on where to go and what to do. You might catch a fish and be hooked (pun intended). You may find yourself wandering into the outdoors all winter long despite the cold. If you do, just remember that you chose one of the least opportune times to begin fishing, and if you can stick it out until spring, you may be rewarded with some much better fish to eat.