KOL HADASH SPRING 2019 קולחדש
Sanctuary Centennial Joyfully Capped Off With 100 Years of Song ast fall, the BJ community came together in a variety of ways, celebrating a truly historic L event: the centennial of BJ’s Sanctuary. We had the opportunity to remember, reflect, and celebrate in small groups who shared synchronicity in the specific and personal ways they are connected to BJ. We celebrated in style at the Sanctuary Centennial Gala, honoring the leadership of Jeannie Blaustein and Peter Bokor and to celebrate the life and work of Rabbi Rachel Cowan z”l. An exhibit was installed in the gallery of our community house, chronicling the history SHULAMIT PHOTO + VIDEO and impact of our remarkable community, with a focus on the 100 years we have occupied our beloved 88th Street Sanctuary. Each panel of the exhibit reflected themes at the core of BJ, tracing the beauty and the stories of the building and all that it has contained. continued on page 4
CONTENTS The Magic of The Centennial Gala 100 Years of Song...... 1, 4 By Shira Nadich Levin Centennial Gala...... 1, 3 ou felt the magic the moment Paying it Forward...... 2 you entered the Community Y House and walked along the red Purim with Family Life and Learning . . . . 5 carpet, gazing at the moving exhibit Sustainability at BJ...... 6 lining the walls, which chronicled Experience the Women’s Retreat...... 6 the hundred-year history of our Sanctuary. There was something in From the Executive Director...... 7 the air; with everyone greeting each Kadima@BJ: Register Soon! ...... 7 ...... other as though it were a family Meet Sarah Rosenthal ...... 8 wedding, making the warmth and joy My Path to BJ: Phyllis Bard...... 9 of the evening palpable. CLEVER SANGALAZA Bikkur Holim: Stories...... 10, 12 The excitement became even more intense once you walked into the Reimagine: End of Life...... 11, 12 magnificent Sanctuary, dressed for the occasion. The kippot dangled from the What Are You Doing After Life? ...... 13 large, gold fixture hanging from the ceiling, representing b’nai mitzvah and wedding ceremonies that took place during the centennial period. Elegant Marshall T . Meyer 25th Yahrzeit...... 14 decorations, special lighting, and delicious food, beautifully served, greeted Remembering Ellen Landau...... 15 you as you entered. It was obvious from the very beginning of the evening that Spring Fundraising Concert...... 16 everyone was having such a wonderful time, with members of continued on page 3 KOL HADASH SPRING 2019 קולחדש
Paying it Forward
ince October, over 100 BJ members “This was fantastic. Now I want to host Shabbat have attended a Paying it Forward dinner all the time!” —BJ Member and Paying S Shabbat Dinner in another it Forward Shabbat Dinner Host member’s home, while committing to pay it forward by hosting a meal themselves in the future. Together, we are broadening Shabbat meal culture Hadley Allen Linda and Bob Marshall at BJ and transforming our community Gail Amsterdam Les Nelson and Jill Hayman through building closer connections Renee Cherow-O’Leary and John Jody Prusan and elevating the beauty of Shabbat at O’Leary Ilana and Scott Ruskay-Kidd home. Gail and William Cohen Jonathan and Oriyan Schwartz Ted and Debbie Geiger Leah Silver hank you to all those who have hosted Carol Gelles Orli and Jon Silver a Paying it Forward Shabbat Dinner Alison and Jeffrey Horowitz Lisa and Dan Zucker so far. Through opening your homes, Michelle and Leonard Jacoby you help shape our community—one Ruth Jarmul and Irv Rosenthal There are just a few spots left in Shabbat table at a time. Alissa Koloff and Kerri Lanoue our next series of Paying it Forward Neil and Alisa Kurshan Shabbat dinners. Sign up now at Judith Lipton www.bj.org/payingitfoward.
Rabbi Rachel Cowan Chapel Dedication
Sunday, May 19 | 5:00-6:30PM | Chapel
Join us to name the BJ Chapel in Rachel’s honor, creating a holy gathering space dedicated to her continued legacy and commitment to BJ.
Visit www.bj.org/chapeldedication for registration, gifts, and memorial tributes.
(And God remembered Rachel (Genesis 30:22 • וַּיִזְּכֹר אֱֹלהים אֶת־ָרחֵל
2 The Magic of the Centennial Gala continued from page 1 the community greeting old friends and and Jessica Feder Mantel and Alan making new ones. Mantel, as well as by Colin Weil, Amanda Greenawalt, and HuiWon Choi. The details that helped to create the But most importantly, everyone was special atmosphere were planned thrilled to celebrate the Sanctuary’s and worked on by a large and devoted centennial, to pay honor to the group, led by the four co-chairs, outstanding and unique leadership and Suzanne Schecter and Todd Ruback generosity of Jeannie Blaustein and Peter Bokor, and to pay tribute to the memory of Rabbi Rachel Cowan, z’l, a beloved member of our community, who made such critical contributions to the world of Judaism and spirituality. Each was commemorated in beautifully Rabbi Marcelo Bronstein remembers Rabbi Rachel Cowan, with her children, Lisa and Matt. executed video tributes, which were presented with moving introductions It was a magical evening, in which from Rabbis Matalon, Sol, and we paid tribute to our history and to Rabbis Erin Glazer, Roly Matalon, Felicia Sol, and Bronstein. individuals who are so deserving of Marcelo Bronstein, and Hazzan Ari Priven honor. And—it was the most successful The opening of the Sanctuary Centennial Exhibition event of its kind in BJ, not only in the 375 attendees (we reached capacity days before the event) but in the $848,000 raised. How fitting that this occasion, and these honorees, were the cause of a tremendous addition to our endowment, which will help make the outstanding programming at BJ Alan Mantel, Jessica Feder Mantel, Peter Bokor, more accessible to this community. Jeannie Blaustein, Suzanne Schecter, and Todd Ruback ALL PHOTOS: SHULAMIT PHOTO + VIDEO
Save the Date: Annual Meeting 2019
Tuesday, June 4 | 7:00PM | Sanctuary
Save the date for this year’s Annual Meeting, where you will hear from our rabbis, executive director, board leaders, and treasurer about the accomplishments and milestones of the past year. We will also look ahead to next year’s goals, programmatic highlights, and financial outlook, as well as sharing in a moment to say “thank you” to outgoing trustees and to welcome the new trustees to the board.
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Family Life and Learning continued from page 1 Sanctuary Centennial continued from page 1
All of this was capped-off by a community-wide concert and celebration: 100 Years of Song, developed and produced by BJ’s Center for Prayer and Spirituality. This deeply moving concert, brought all who attended on a journey through the past century, through the music
With an elegant reception following the concert, the whole event was a wild success.
that has sustained us spiritually and culturally over that span. The musical program was developed by our music director, Dan Nadel, and featured our artist in residence, Shira Averbuch, and acclaimed jazz vocalist, Gabrielle Stravelli. Taking us through 100 years
of history, the program was narrated by BJ member and actor Ronald Guttman (Homeland, Mad Men, The Under One Roof. The evening brought West Wing), and supported together an intergenerational cross- an ensemble of world-class section of the community, with young musicians. Spanning the children, community elders, and breadth of the experience everyone in between, all dancing in of these hundred years, the the aisles during a rousing Lekha Dodi program brought us from medley, led by BJ’s spiritual leaders. a piece of cantorial music With an elegant reception following the once sung by Hazzan Jacob concert, the whole event was a wild Schwartz z”l (grandfather success, concluding a joyful period of BJ’s gabbai, Freddie of celebration for BJ’s magnificent Goldstein), to the New and historic Sanctuary, inspiring us York Yiddish theater scene; all to imagine the possibilities for the from the Shoah to the hundred years to come. See and share establishment of the State the video of the concert at of Israel; from the American www.bj.org/100. civil rights movement, the gay rights movement; from The 100 Years of Song Community the arrival of Rabbi Marshall Centennial and Hanukkah Celebration Meyer at BJ, his influence, was made possible through the his untimely death, and generous support of Edward Brill finally, our arrival as BJ and the Miriam Siroky Fund. ALL PHOTOS: CLEVER SANGALAZA 4 Purim Celebrations with Family Life and Learning his year’s Purim Carnival was a colorful and joyful affair! Over 100 The BJ Theater Company celebrated T children flooded into the Sanctuary Purim as 31 kindergarten-sixth and Community House dressed as grade shpielniks performed the superheroes, Supreme Court justices, world premiere of Megillah Mia!
Young Families Purim Celebration, children in 2nd grade and under Families Purim enjoyed a kid-friendly Celebration version of the Purim story and Community with music, snacks, and a Megillah costume parade. Reading. Then, they had the The BJ Theater Company meaningful celebrated Purim as 31 chance to kindergarten through do a special sixth grade shpielniks mitzvah and performed the world take the show premiere of Megillah Mia! Complete with Purim-ified parodies of all our favorite ABBA songs (think “I’m not your Dancing Queen” sung by Vashti and “Oh Haman’s the name” sung by Haman), Megillah Mia! told the Purim story with a disco twist. These young performers rehearsed every Sunday since January. As they learned on the road, performing for seniors choreography, tried on and Holocaust survivors in our sparkly costumes, and Upper West Side community and
This column (top): Our shpielniks take to the stage in Megillah Mia! memorized lines, they participating in a Bikkur Holim This column (bottom) and next column (middle and bottom): Purim also built community, workshop organized by Galit Lopatin Carnival fun. Next column (top): Megillah Mia! Rehearsals. bravely tried new things Bordereau. The Purim Shpiel is another on stage, formed and highlight in an exciting inaugural year animals, and more! BJ teens planned cemented lasting friendships, and for the BJ Theater Company; this and facilitated a variety of carnival engaged meaningfully with the story year’s programming also included a booths, including henna tattoos, face of Purim. The BJ Theater Company Hanukkah Play starring pre-K-third painting, giant bowling, two bounce performed the show in front of a grade students and an upcoming houses, basketball, and a photo booth. packed house, including Kadima@ workshop production of The Diary Everybody enjoyed pizza, cotton candy, BJ students, and then were honored of Anne Frank performed by Kadima and delicious hamantaschen. At the to perform highlights at the Young students. We can’t wait for next year!
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Sustainability at BJ: We Need Your Help! 1. After services end, head up to Our community composts at kiddush in the 3rd floor. programs and events and through 2. Take some food for yourself and our Community Composting Initiative. stand next to the recycling and You can drop off your food scraps at brown bins. the community house every day, year 3. When people come up to the bins to round. Learn more at www.bj.org/ deposit their food waste, help them compost. Questions? Contact Larissa put all the items in the correct bins. at [email protected]. 4. Almost everything can be placed in the brown bins, with the exception This year, we are looking for volunteers of plastic utensils and cups (blue to help all members become familiar Rabbi Roly Matalon brings his compost from recycling bin). home every week! with our recycling and composting 5. Food waste, (compostable) paper practices. We are looking for Kiddush plates and cups, and paper napkins volunteers and hope you will choose for volunteers to sign up for one or can be placed in the brown bins. No to help out. Becoming a Kiddush two dates per year. You can volunteer liquids, please! Volunteer is easy and will support BJ on your own or with friends or family. members in learning how to dispose of Once you pick your date, here’s how it Sign up for a date at www.bj.org/ their waste properly. We are looking will work: kiddushvolunteer. Questions? Contact Les Judd at [email protected].
Experience the BJ Women’s Retreat Friday, May 31-Sunday, June 2 • Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat Center, Falls Village, CT
ith the ongoing revelation in the in a beautiful, natural #metoo era of the structural and environment filled with W institutionalized sexism that still the exclusive sound of persists in our time, we encounter our women’s voices. Whether tradition as women with a range of you are new to BJ or emotion. As we prepare for Shavuot a long-time member, and the revelation of Torah once again, the Women’s Retreat we will join together as women to creates an atmosphere confront the emotions that are revealed of connection where all in our texts, in our liturgy, and raise up are embraced for who a Torah that is both broken and holy, they are. Community just as we too are broken and holy. is built throughout the weekend and sustains Join Rabbi Felicia Sol, and M.T.M. itself when we get back Fellows Abi Weber and Margo Hughes- to NYC. Questions? Robinson, for a glorious Shabbat of Contact Kristen Kersey at joy, song, learning, and connection [email protected].
Register now at www.bj.org/womensreatreat.
6 From the Dusty Desk of the Executive Director By Colin A. Weil
ver the past few ‘quiet’ months at BJ, while the major construction Did you know that our current elevators are powered by direct-current (DC) O projects have wound down, we have motors which are descended from the original 1927 motors? As such, there been busy completing a comprehensive are no spare parts available, and power must flow through a converter, assessment of the historic BJ adding complexity. So when one of the motors fails, we have to have parts campus—top to bottom, inside and custom-fabricated, greatly increasing cost and time. The elevator update outside. Working with our team at plan will take care of this and many other maintenance challenges we face Howard L. Zimmerman Architects regularly. The new mechanicals will be anchored by the “Prius” of elevator to gain an up-to-date and complete motors: A brake-regenerative AC Drive system which will take excess energy understanding of the condition of our from the hoist motor and supply it back to the incoming AC power system, beloved buildings, we can now develop saving energy. The new mechanics will also employ gearless magnetic the timeline, budget, and work plans landing controls, traction, and braking, providing for more accurate stopping, necessary to optimize our spaces for lower cost maintenance, and longer life of the equipment. programming, while ensuring our environments are safe, secure, and more environmentally sound. (see inset for some interesting details). In addition to the elevator work, the The first “new” elevator should be facade restoration team will be back in To be sure, there is much work to be operational by June, and the work full force this summer, continuing their done in the coming years, and we will completed by Labor Day. work replacing window sills and lintels, share more details as the planning refurbishing terra cotta and stone, and evolves. In the meantime, if you have I am also happy to report that we replacing bricks. This work will likely visited the Community House recently, were recently approved for a $150,000 take two more summers to complete. you have seen signs of the work related security grant from the Department to replacement of the Community of Homeland Security (and we are As always, I welcome questions you House elevators mechanicals. While grateful to the JCRC for their help in may have, and I’m always happy to we will retain the elevator cabs, the this effort). The funds will be used to give campus tours. To book an motors, cables, and electronics will enhance our security in a number of appointment, please reach out to my all be replaced, leaving us with safe, areas, of which will share some details new Executive Assistant, Jane Potter, reliable, and energy-efficient elevators in the coming months. at [email protected].
Learn more at www.bj.org/kadima.
Registration opening soon for 2019-20.
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Meet Sarah Rosenthal, BJ’s Jewish Home Project Coordinator ne of Sarah Rosenthal’s favorite and De-Mystifying Mikvah, a guided pastimes since she moved to tour of a local mikvah. (Learn about O New York City four years ago is to other upcoming programs at www. invite friends of all backgrounds into bj.org/jhp.) her home. They enjoy each other’s company and nosh on homemade, “My hope is that when people interact traditional Jewish foods. with us, they feel excited about creating their own traditions in their This past Hanukkah, Sarah—who joined own homes and figuring out how BJ in October as the synagogue’s Judaism works for them,” she said. “I first Jewish Home Project Program want people to have a place where Coordinator—made sufganiyot from they feel comfortable and immediately scratch for the first time. Other weeks, welcomed.” she’ll bake challah for her friends. Young Judea Midwest), and she It’s a tradition shaped by Sarah’s eventually assumed the role of camp childhood. Every Shabbat, she would Sarah is focused on helping program director. In New York, she bake challah and desserts from people to embrace their own, knew she wanted to stay involved with scratch in the kitchen alongside her unique traditions, while creating Jewish community. father. a welcoming and inclusive space for all community members to Now, in her spare time, Sarah Now, in her role at BJ, Sarah is strengthen their Jewish identities. continues to pursue her passion focused on helping people to embrace for theater, directing shows on the their own, unique traditions, while Sarah comes to BJ from Temple evenings and weekends. creating a welcoming and inclusive Israel of the City of New York, where space for all community members to she worked first during college as a Sarah is also taking American Sign strengthen their Jewish identities. religious school teacher, and then as a Language classes. “I wanted to learn a staff assistant. She’s the only daughter new language,” she said. The classes “Being a part of the Jewish Home in a family of five children (she’s right have allowed her to learn more about Project and the team at BJ is an in the middle) and moved to New and connect with the deaf community. exciting opportunity to make Jewish York in 2014 from her hometown of home practices and traditions Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She attended On weekends during football season, accessible for our diverse Jewish Marymount Manhattan College Sarah can be found glued to her community,” Sarah said. The Jewish and studied theater directing and television set watching her Green Bay Home Project has been evolving communication media studies. Packers. And when she can, she loves constantly since its launch in early traveling to far-flung destinations. She 2018. “Moving to New York was the best recently returned from a trip to Israel decision,” she said, “even though it and Amsterdam. Thailand and Fiji are Sarah has been busy coordinating a was a big change. This is a city that also high up on her list. series of programs to help bring more really allows me to fully explore all Jewish life into members’ homes. of my interests. There are so many To learn more about Sarah, you can Programs like Next Stop...Marriage, interesting and amazing people here.” reach her at [email protected]. To a three-part series to help couples find out more about the Jewish Home prepare for their wedding and beyond, Growing up, Sarah attended a Jewish Project, visit www.bj.org/jhp. day school and summer camp (Camp
8 My Path to BJ: Phyllis Bard In this regular feature, we profile a member and look at what led them to BJ, and how it has helped shape their life.
t was 2014 when Phyllis, a New York my life, and it is part of what drew me native, moved from the East Side to BJ,” Phyllis said. I to the West Side and was eager to embrace her new neighborhood. “I A graduate from City College, Phyllis decided BJ was the place for me,” said taught elementary school before taking Phyllis, a psychotherapist who recently time off to raise her two daughters, celebrated her eightieth birthday. eventually returning to school and earning two masters degrees. She At first, Phyllis wasn’t sure how to started her own management connect with BJ. She attended services, consultant business, working for but wanted to find ways to build deeper top companies in finance and other connections within the community. industries, and one day, a client asked Then she signed up for BJ’s her to help figure out why one team Mindfulness Retreat to Costa Rica, led couldn’t get along. That moment at the time by Rabbi Marcelo Bronstein sparked her mid-career change into and Rabbi Rachel Cowan, who passed the process of aging, welcoming it psychotherapy. away last year. as an opportunity for growth and personal renewal,” said Phyllis. “The Phyllis became a licensed clinical “It was a very spiritual week for me,” creativity, self-awareness, and tools social worker in 1987, and two years Phyllis said. She requested a private for accepting the aging process that later she completed a four-year room, but none were left. So, she develop within the group can be life institute training involving integration roomed in close quarters with a fellow changing.” of the body, mind, and spirit— member who had also requested a which was considered private room. It was the best thing “Looking back on all Most recently, very progressive (and that could have happened, she said. the transformations she’s volunteered as a bit suspect!) at the “We connected instantly.” Today, she of my life that have a co-leader, for the second time. She developed counts her retreat roommate as a good taken place, I value time, of one of BJ’s Wise Living a strong connection friend. the experiences groups. The facilitated peer with meditation that have brought groups meet regularly to give and somatic energy Over the years, Phyllis has found her me to this stage. It members social, emotional, work and led groups community within BJ. Most recently, continues to be a and spiritual insights as in the United States she’s volunteered as a co-leader, time of learning, of they age and internationally, as for the second time, of one of BJ’s pleasure, and of making well as maintaining a Wise Living groups. The facilitated peace with the inevitabilites private therapy and supervision peer groups meet regularly to give of living. Mindfulness and spiritual practice in New York. Currently, she members social, emotional, and beliefs, whatever form they may take, still works with a handful of patients. spiritual insights as they age. Groups become stronger—and we become are guided by the book Wise Aging: wiser.” “I love people,” she said. And it’s Living with Joy, Resilience, and Spirit by that spirit of gratitude, inspiration, Rabbi Rachel Cowan and BJ member Phyllis’ family name is Amigo. During tolerance, and helping others that Dr. Linda Thal. the Spanish Inquisition, her family left drew her to BJ. “It is what I value above Spain rather than deny their Judaism. all in the BJ community.” “The goal is to guide the group to “Perhaps that is why I feel the need to create a safe place to speak about honor and support the Jewish faith in
9 Bikkur Holim Volunteers Share Their Stories of Action and Compassion ikkur Holim is the mitzvah of serving the community by caring for the “Visiting the sick is a great B sick, the aging, and their caregivers expression of selfless kindness with loving kindness. The process is which has the power to reduce the private and confidential, preserving burden of suffering at the same time the person’s dignity and performed by as it increases love and holiness trained community volunteers. in the community.” —Rabbi Roly Matalon Bikkur Holim: Support During Illness
Bikkur Holim Co-Chair Mandy Braun “I had the opportunity and the challenge Our community is defined by the points out: “At BJ, Bikkur Holim of assisting a friend who was waiting connection we feel to each other. actually operates like a two-way for a lung transplant. During the time When that connection is threatened street: the recipient feels cared for we spent waiting for “the call,” I read by illness or confinement, it is our and acknowledged; the volunteer feels to her, we did jigsaw puzzles, and spiritual obligation to offer support. pleased to be able to help.” investigated our Eastern European roots. But mostly, I sat quietly as she For BJ members undergoing or recovering Following are some vignettes from spoke about her fears. As the months from illness our Bikkur Holim volunteers our volunteers and reflections from wore on, I realized I was using active provide support and resources by: the people they visited or assisted. listening skills I learned at a Bikkur The interactions ranged from meal Holim training: the skills of gentle • Visiting people in hospitals, preparation and food deliveries to encouragement, kind support, and a nursing homes, or in their own home visits and trips to medical listening ear. “ homes appointments. • Making phone calls to congregants My friend summed up the experience who are homebound this way: “I was able to get through • Performing practical tasks such “The member I visited was recovering the waiting, the surgery, and the as shopping or running errands from a debilitating and painful surgery. recovery, with someone who created There were times when she was not up a space for me to feel safe, secure, • Calling those whose names are on for company, but I continued to check and comfortable. I could ask for help the Mi Sheberakh list for healing in by phone and text, to make sure she and count on you to quietly relieve prayers on Shabbat morning had what she needed and didn’t feel my stress. I couldn’t have done this • Helping congregants who are isolated. The Bikkur Holim team also without you.” experiencing illness or facing arranged for different people to stop by surgery with person-to-person to bring her dinners. “ support One volunteer became a recipient The member’s takeaway: “They when her husband was badly injured Let us know if we may visit you at kept my spirits up...and gave me in an accident. She and her three home or in the hospital or help in any an opportunity to survey and rate young children were treated to many other way. the chicken dinners at most of the delicious meals and handmade neighborhood delis and supermarkets.” greeting cards, but the family was To get involved, please contact most taken with the outpouring of [email protected]. warmth they received from so many BJ members who checked in by email and text. continued on page 12
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Reimagine: End of Life By Jeannie Blaustein
ow is it that death has become a taboo topic in our culture? It’s confusing, I began an incredible journey: visiting ill BJ members through our Bikkur H because in fact, death happens all Holim committee, volunteering at a local hospice, and finding many ways to around us through miscarriage, auto assist families and their loved ones through the dying process. accidents, sudden illness, addiction, suicide and community violence. The the opportunities for the meaningful that had shaped my own upbringing, cognitive dissonance of losing a connection that can arise in these and I began exploring multiple ways of loved one too soon often leaves us poignant conversations. Additionally, assisting families and their loved ones scrambling to make sense of such too many families must struggle under through the dying process. agony. Consequently, we tend to stressful conditions when making think of these tragic sudden losses as difficult medical decisions that have I began an incredible journey: visiting aberrant, wrong and unfair, as if we never been discussed with their loved ill BJ members through our Bikkur are all ‘supposed’ to live out our full ones until it is simply too late to know Holim committee, volunteering at a lives. But even when we do live to a ripe their wishes. local hospice, and finding many ways old age, we don’t generally see natural to assist families and their death unfolding around us as much as loved ones through the dying our forebears did only 100 year ago, process. since most of our sick and elderly die now outside the home, in long-term The more exposure I had to care facilities or hospitals. Benefits the world of end-of-life care for home hospice are despicably low, and the current literature resulting in gross under-utilization boom on death and dying of home hospice care, with New (note Atul Gawande’s best- York State among the lowest hospice seller Being Mortal), the utilization rates in the country. So most more I realized that my people die in hospitals, in spite of the mother’s experiences in wishes of over 90% of Americans to die the 1940s and ‘50s are, in at home. My own relationship with fear and grief fact, not uncommon even today. Over were profoundly shaped by the ways 60 years after my mom’s losses, we Our collective aversion to talking about in which my grandparents handled still live in a culture that avoids talking death has by now created a generation my grandmother’s tragic death from about death, despite the fact that or two that are largely illiterate when breast cancer at the age of 41 in roughly 7500 Americans die every it comes to thinking about death, and 1947. I grew up in a home where we single day. preparing for end of life. When we do focused only on the ‘bright’ side; we inevitably encounter death, we are never talked about loss or death. When So, perhaps you can imagine my often left to do so without the tools, my father died suddenly, only weeks surprise in 2016 when I heard Dying resources, and emotional preparation after my wedding, I was stricken and to Talk, a radio podcast hosted by Dr. it requires. Faith communities often completely overwhelmed. Years later, I Dawn Gross, a Bay Area Palliative Care serve as the source of comfort and realized that in addition to the shock I physician, who was interviewing Brad ritual after death has occurred. But felt after my father’s death, I actually Wolfe, the founder of Reimagine End of since few of us really accept that had no cognitive or emotional fluency Life, a city-wide program launched that mortality will ever really touch us, and in this critical area of life. I realized year in San Francisco, to engage Bay we resist talking about our mortality, then that I needed to break the cycle Area residents from all walks of life in we too often deprive ourselves of of denial and silence around death continued on page 12 11 Reimagine continued from page 11 experiential opportunities designed to and gratitude for the lives they’re living break down taboos around death and At BJ, we we have hosted a series of today. dying. I had to see this for myself! events including Death Over (Shabbat) Dinner and an interactive story- At BJ, we we have hosted a series of And sure enough, in mid-October 2016, sharing performance about death events including Death Over (Shabbat) I found myself in San Francisco sitting and dying. Dinner and an interactive story- in faith communities, concert halls, sharing performance about death and galleries, and bookstores filled with the power of living fully in gratitude dying. Led by our own rabbis, other people coming together to talk, listen, and community until the last breath. faith leaders, physicians, artists, and share, cry, grieve, and even laugh. They What sets Reimagine End of Life apart authors, each event is designed to help had gathered to deepen the experience from many other festivals is that it is us reclaim our humanity as mortal of living and improve the experience community driven, with 75 percent beings and invigorate our planning of dying. There were participants of all offered at no cost. While Reimagine and action steps around planning for ages connecting to each other, and I helps to catalyze community partners, our end of life care. The result is a just knew that this was something to it is largely the local partners powerful connective message that, bring to NYC. themselves who, as BJ so generously with all that divides us, we are united and creatively did, create engaging in our shared humanity and a collective Now in its third year, Reimagine End of programs that build community, spark appreciation for the preciousness of Life seeks to enlarge the conversation conversations, and encourage action our lives. Contact Billie Di Stefano at around death and dying, and to create steps that help individuals better [email protected] to learn more or to gentle gateways of entry for members prepare for their own end of life care schedule a facilitated What Matters of diverse communities wishing to as well as deepen their appreciation conversation. explore death and dying, as well as
Bikkur Holim continued from page 10
She said, “One volunteer prepared “I delivered meals to a member a mouthwatering dinner, with a I was glad I could be there to support and her family after she had major hand-printed menu and a sweet them, particularly because this surgery. She told me that her husband note describing how she prepared member asks for so little and gives and kids were “feeling at sea” and the meal while listening to Debbie so much, and is always grateful for “completely overwhelmed by her Friedman’s Mi Sheberakh song. That everything we do. It’s nice to know illness.” I understood how distressing meal contained all the ingredients that what we do makes a difference. the situation was and how difficult in Bikkur Holim: spiritual support, it was for them to deal with it. I was lovingkindness, and a personal touch.” her time, I was really moved that she glad I could be there to support them, offered to help without even knowing particularly because this member asks me. That member told us that she for so little and gives so much, and Another member requested an volunteers whenever she can. “It’s part is always grateful for everything we escort to pick her up after a doctor’s of my responsibility as a member of do. It’s nice to know that what we do appointment. She said, “A member I the community.” makes a difference.” Find out more at didn’t know volunteered. This person www.bj.org/hesed. was so pleasant and generous with
12 KOL HADASH 2.0 FALL 2018 קולחדש
What Are You Doing After Life?
s part of encouraging our community boroughs, where no new cemetery land to make end-of-life decisions early, will ever be approved). A we suggest making your burial plans a part of that process. In addition to the new plots at Beth Olam, a generous benefactor donated a section of King Solomon Memorial “We’ve seen the burden put on those Park in Clifton, NJ, to BJ, more than 40 left behind to deal with these issues years ago, allowing new generations during a time of grief. Planning of our members to plan ahead for the ahead is not morbid...it’s actually life eventualities we all face. affirming, and truly the best gift we can give to those we love.” To that end, we encourage our —Paula Kramer Weiss, BJ Member community to explore the options For more than 4,000 years, we have available and to make arrangements assumed the sacred responsibility before being confronted by the grief begun by our ancestors to provide a of loss. As we plan for the legal and place for the burial of our departed emotional exigencies attendant to the loved ones. end of life, we hope that purchasing burial plots will be part of that effort, At B’nai Jeshurun, this obligation began and that doing so in the context of our when our congregation was founded BJ community will bring comfort. in 1825, with a small plot for burials on West 32nd Street. In 1851, with our Find out more at www.bj.org/cemetery. sister congregations Shearith Israel For more information, questions, or to and Shaaray Tefilah, we purchased set up a private meeting, please email 12 acres of Brooklyn/Queens land [email protected]. to found Beth Olam Cemetery. Many prominent people are buried at Beth Olam, including Uriah Levy (founder of the B’nai Jeshurun Education Institute and the first Jewish commodore of the US Navy), Emma Lazarus, Benjamin Cardozo, BJ Rabbis Morris Jacob Raphall and Judah Magnes, and Sam Spiegel, producer of On the Waterfront and Lawrence of Arabia. Alongside these and other famous people, many generations of BJ families are buried there. BJ is now able to continue this tradition, having just confirmed the Left: King Solomon Memorial Park, Clifton, NJ. availability of two new sections of land This column: Beth Olam Cemetery, Brooklyn with more than 200 burial plots at Beth and Queens. Olam (an extremely rare find in the five
13 KOL HADASH SPRING 2019 קולחדש
Marshall T. Meyer 25th Anniversary Yahrzeit
anuary 2019 marked 25 years the man, the rabbi, to feel so incredibly since the death of Rabbi Marshall close to him and his legacy. For me, J T. Meyer. Through a series of the weekend awakened and enlivened events, services, and gatherings, our that connection in even deeper ways. community came together to honor To see all the fellows speak of the Marshall and his memory, as we impact that Marshall has had on them continue to build on his vision for BJ. felt like such a gift—a moving reminder After Shabbat, M.T.M. Rabbinic Fellows of who he was, as well as what BJ from around the country continued has been to so many, and an enduring the conversation at the fellows retreat. affirmation of the power of Marshall’s Together, we looked back at Marshall’s life.” —Rabbi Felicia Sol Above: Kabbalat Shabbat with Rabbis Roly Matalon, legacy, we looked forward to the BJ Felicia Sol, Marcelo Bronstein, and Hazzan Ari community and the Marshall T. Meyer Priven, joined by current and former Marshall T. Rabbinic Fellows around the world, “When Roly and I began the fellowship, Meyer Rabbinic Fellows. through whom Marshall’s vision lives we had the intention of sharing what Below: The 2019 M.T.M. Rabbinic Fellows Retreat. on, and we explored some of the issues we learned from Marshall facing America today through the lens with the next generation. of Marshall’s experience and wisdom. Now, 25 years after his death, many at BJ never personally knew Marshall. “In 1985, 160 years after its founding, The weekend was an B’nai Jeshurun embarked upon a opportunity to go back new beginning under the spiritual to the images, sounds, leadership of Rabbi Marshall T. Meyer. and experiences of our Marshall’s passionate message teacher, to honor the resonated with many in search of a past, and to be grateful relevant Judaism, and BJ flourished. not only for what he gave His vision and the fruits of his work us, but also how we have continue to live in our community. evolved since. May Marshall’s teachings continue to inspire, guide, and challenge us.” Since our very first fellow, Yael “Although I never had the chance to —Rabbi Roly Matalon Ridberg, we have been meeting every meet him, Marshall’s legacy of fierce year or so, to check in, to see where leadership, heartfelt spirituality, and we are in life and share our common the pursuit of justice in the face of the “The Marshall T. Meyer 25th experiences and challenges within our perpetual plagues in the universe, has Anniversary Yahrzeit was a profound vocation. I learned how to be a mentor taught me that my own kotzer ruah, opportunity to revisit Marshall’s life with my beloved fellows. For that, and constriction of spirit, must not paralyze and vision and how he reshaped BJ in for the real sharing that has happened me, but motivate me to pursue a just the 1980s, as well as to see how his during our time together, I am forever and free society for all.” legacy has shaped the rabbinate of grateful.” —Rabbi Yael Ridberg so many M.T.M. fellows, and through —Rabbi Marcelo Bronstein them, their communities. It is amazing, despite not having personally known
14 Remembering Ellen Landau
hether it was mentoring young retreats, and other events. Through doctors, treating patients, or the ups and downs of her illness, she W entertaining friends during the really searched to find spirituality in High Holy Days, Ellen Landau z”l the brokenness and to hold up the welcomed people into her life, and she possibility of healing.” listened. A long-time Upper West Side resident A long-time Upper West Side resident and social worker in private practice and social worker in private practice who specialized in family therapy, who specialized in family therapy, Ellen helped countless families Ellen helped countless families in the in the community struggling with community struggling with depression, depression, loss and other issues. In her mid-thirties, Ellen met and got loss and other issues. She was known engaged to a doctor who, shortly after, for her warmth, thoughtfulness and her “Ellen was wonderful,” said Anne Ziff, a died suddenly. She never married or love of inviting guests into her home. friend, fellow clinician and BJ member. had children, instead fulfilling the role During Shabbat, Rosh Hashanah and “She was warm, open, and gracious, of auntie to her sister’s children and Yom Kippur break fast, her table would and she heard you when she listened. the children of her many friends. She spill over with food. You could trust her.” Ellen and Anne trained local residents, who she fondly would often talk about clinical cases as referred to as “the baby doctors,” and Ellen made BJ her spiritual home well as the parashah of the week. “She she dug into her private family therapy decades ago, attending services when believed and prayed,” Anne said, “and practice on the Upper West Side. In her she could take time away from her she liked the way it felt to be at BJ.” later years, Ellen nurtured and lovingly busy professional life. When Ellen cared for a dog she adopted, Lucy. passed away this past year from cancer Ellen’s grandfather belonged to a at age 65, she left a generous portion Yeshiva on Coney Island, and Ellen Bob Goldman, who Ellen met in of her estate to BJ. She was proud, her grew up in an Orthodox household in graduate school, remembers friends said, of Rabbi Felicia Sol, and to Brooklyn, attending Orthodox summer gatherings at Ellen’s home always belong to a synagogue with a woman’s camp. She earned her bachelor’s brought together diverse groups of voice so prominent in its spiritual degree in social work from SUNY people. In her thick Brooklyn accent, leadership. It was a model absent from Buffalo, and then her master’s degree Ellen would regale guests with detailed Ellen’s Orthodox childhood. in social work from Columbia. In stories about each other. the 1980s, she worked with Salvador “Ellen was so happy to have found Minuchin, an Argentinian pioneer of “Ellen was a wonderful person and a a spiritual home at BJ,” said Rabbi family therapy and son of Jewish good friend,” Bob said. “She was warm Felicia Sol, “She anchored herself in immigrants from Russia. and welcoming. Her house, mind, and the community by coming to Shabbat heart were open. And she was proud to services, women’s programming and be a part of BJ.”
Planned Giving Making a planned gift to BJ ensures that your commitment to our spirited and dynamic community continues to help us grow, innovate, and make lasting social change for generations to come. To find out more about how you can create a meaningful legacy through supporting the BJ community, visit www.bj.org/plannedgiving or contact Jennifer Rubenstein at 212-787-7600 x252.
15 SPRING FUNDRAISING CONCERT
Music of Justice, Resistance, and Hope Rise Up: Wednesday, May 29 | 7:00PM | Sanctuary
Rise Up will celebrate how social change movements throughout the ages have been powered by the music of justice, resistance, and hope.
Through the music of Bob Dylan, Aretha Franklin, Harry Belafonte, and many more, this journey will reflect a true global tapestry of sound, creating a uniquely BJ experience.
Featuring: Shira Averbuch, Or Bareket, Deborah Sacks Mintz, Dan Nadel, Shoko Nagai, Arun Ramamurthy, Tali Rubinstein, Will Stone, and Satoshi Takeishi, with a special appearance by Hazzan Ari Priven.
Sponsorships and tickets are available now at www.bj.org/riseup.
B’nai Jeshurun
SANCTUARY: 257 West 88th Street RABBIS: J. Rolando Matalon • Felicia L. Sol • Erin R. Glazer • Marcelo R. Bronstein OFFICE: 270 West 89th Street, New York, NY 10024-1705 HAZZAN: Ari Priven TEL: 212-787-7600 | www.bj.org MARSHALL T. MEYER RABBINIC FELLOWS: facebook.com/bnai.jeshurun | twitter.com/bjnyc | Tobias Divack Moss • Margo Hughes-Robinson • Abi Weber instagram.com/bj_nyc EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR: Colin A. Weil