FELIX

NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION

No. 190 Wednesday, 8th MAY, 1963 PRICE 4d.

Marion Chosen as SOUTH SIDE Carnival Queen ORDEAL IN THE QUAD Lunchtime on Friday 26th in a sunlit quad, saw the annual parade of Carnival Queen candi- OPENS MAY 11date s before a large assembly of expectant males. A carnival at- mosphere pervaded the air, partly The first student inhabitants will move into two of the Halls designed on virtually an open-lay- Residence (Falmouth and Tizard) on South Side on May 11th due, no doubt, to the over-ampli- out plan. The basement cafeteria fied strains of the Carnival Re- ifter what can only be called a " take-over bid " by the College to opened on Monday, but the re- pnove the contractors. It is surprising that, at this late stage in cord (Oi fink itsa hit), and to the t maining refectory facilities will fact that the bar was open. e year and with exams imminent in many departments of the not be available for student use )llege, the majority of students originally offered places have opted Finally the long awaited mo- until next session. The kitchens ment came, the Executive, armed move in. However, being a resident for the remainder of this term have been excellently equipped no way affects their application for residence in the next academic with millihelen metres, took their and the main refectory can be seats, and after a long series of |jear adapted for self or waitress ser- Each hall consists of three floors fanfares, the six cantestants Kitchen facilities, laundries, sub- vice. The whole area possesses were introduced, and persuaded single study bedrooms with a wardens' flats, house-keepers' a tremendous potential as a social kneral circulation area first to walk the length of the quad. offices and cleaners' rooms are centre and relaxing area. At first sight, it looked like a field nor. The study bedrooms are among the list for rooms required The finish of the whole building pinged in groups of eight round day for RCS, with two entries for modern hostel living. The de- is in slatted concrete which the from Physics and one from central staircase — three stair- tail has been adequately planned architect, Mr. Richard Sheppard, kes to a hall—whilst horizontal Maths, but in the end, the prize with the exception of power claims " represents modern mat- and the title went to petite Innection is by means of the sources for electric razors and erials in their true light," but "llery floors. This design was Marion Ponman, a secretary from kettles and each room is excel- which the Guardian expounds Electrical. " On points," we _ tally stipulated to the archi- lently furnished. The jamming " reflects barbarism." But if Its by the College in the hope should say, though she is a window problem of Weeks Hall architecture is taken as represent- " regular knockout," the judging \ it would improve communal may have been overcome by the ing the methods and materials Ming. Unfortunately, the gallery being done in terms of millihelens insertion of smaller sliding win- available at the day in their best per candidate: Helen's face Tors now resemble a dumping dows. form, then along with the new lea for all the necessities which launched a thousand ships—how Underneath the Halls of Resi- Commonwealth Institute building, many could yours launch ? Iddn't be fitted into the design dence are situated the new refec- — South Side ranks as one of the Answer in millihelens. Mike lewhere one has never seen tory facilities and common rooms. better examples in London. peculiar shaped lounges (and Cont on page 5 i will they be able to design ings again without protrud- pillars which festoon the |ode with mocking dignity).

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FELIX £etle%3 ta the £dita* NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION Circulation 1700. Dear Sir, LETTER OF THE WEEK! I am a member of Imperial Occult Science Exchange Bureau, Editor ...... A, T. Pawlowicz College staff at 178 Queens Gate, London, S.W.I. Adv. Manager Michael Coombs and I will be getting married in Dear Sir/Madam, Treasurer H. Smith June. Because of bad weather, our I shall be much obliged to re- Photographer and Artistic Roger Henson accommodation will not be ready ceive details of your magazine Advisers Keith Jones till the end of August, and since " Felix." Sales Manager Edward Babb this period falls during the College Yours faithfully, Asst Sales Manager Margaret Lodge Summer vac, I was wondering S. MENAHENY, Production Manager Nick Walker whether any students would be Secretary. Cartoonists ...... Dick Reebes willing to rent us their furnished accommodation while away on ex- Rod Chilton EDUCATION EDUCATION Sports Editor Bob Collins peditions or holidays. Period re- quired is 23 June to end of August. EDUCATION Social Reporter Dave Lenherr Yours sincerely, Secretary Penny Howard Just out in your racks last week PENELOPE M. NICE. is a questionnaire devised by a group here at I.C. investigating the advice system in schools. With the help of Tyrrel Burgess Friday, 31st MAY 9.30 p.m.-5.30 a.m. ' QUOTE OF THE WEEK of " New Society " and of advice from a research student at the R- C. S. Entertainments Just you stay here while I go L.S.E., the questionnaire is going proudly presents and collect some of the others. (Lone policeman to Festival Hall out to a 1 in 3 sample of all Commando). Freshmen at I.C., U.C. and Country House Ball L.S.E. Breaking fresh ground, this l.C. CHOIR survey is large enough to deter- at The performance of Verdi's mine the quality of advice given S1LWOOD PARK Requiem by the I.C. Choir at the by each different type of school, BUFFET CABARET end of last term was a pleasant State-Maintained, Direct Grant surprise for one who has had and Independent. 35/- DOUBLE little to do with this society. It is In a pilot survey, conducted including coaches reputed that the I.C. students at- last December, Maintained Evening dress Bar tempt to broaden their outlook schools were found to be best; Application forms available from I. C. Union office ouside the realms of science and but even on such an elementary one tangible proof of this lies in point as availability of Careers a creditable college choir. Masters, in only half of the Few amateur choirs in the schools was he freely available for country would choose to perform discussion. such a difficult work in one of the English Electric have loaned us ROYAL NAVAL leading music colleges knowing computer time free, so long as the information is transferred to SCIENTIFIC SERVICE that during the Easter period at least one professional choir was punched cards by the end of May. attempting this work. The So if you have received a ques- VACANCIES in Research Establishments mainly in SOUTH soloists, all from the National tionnaire, help us by completing it and SOUTH WEST ENGLAND. Opera School rose to the occasion quickly and returning it in good and the charming Ruth Little time. Thank you. gave a warm interpretation of the PHYSICISTS mezzo-soprano part. David SMALL ADS MECHANICAL ENGINEERS Read, the bass, was reminiscent 1954 500 cc Norton Dominator ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS of Christoff as Phillipe in Don No. 7 with Avon shield and leg ELECTRONIC ENGINEERS Carlos, maintaining his tone guards. Good condition, needs MATHEMATICIANS throughout the range of his part. MOT. £50 ono. Contact R. Gabriel Trujillo clearly appealed Claridge via Union of Mech. to the ladies around me and his are required as : Eng. Rack. rather thin tenor voice carried FURNISHED ACCOMMO- through the full choir and orches- DATION wanted for married SENIOR SCIENTIFIC OFFICERS tra surprising well. SCIENTIFIC OFFICERS couple from 23rd June to the end Full credit must be given to the of August. Any digs vacant dur- and some conductor, Eric Brown, who de- SENIOR and JUNIOR RESEARCH FELLOWS ing the long vac. ? Contact Pene- voted most of his energies during lope Nice, 178, Queen's Ga*e. the performance to the orchestra, WANTED exchange visits with For further information consult your for training the choir to such a engineering and chemical facul- high degree of accuracy and re- UNIVERSITY APPOINTMENTS OFFICER ties, male or female students be- liability. The choir tended to be tween the ages of 18—23. the dominated by the female voices or apply to: University of Split, Yugoslavia. particularly during the Dies Irae Write to Mrs. Maja Pervan, Hec- SUPERINTENDENT, SCIENTIFIC PERSONNEL, and Sanctus. The basses lacked torovica 1, Split. R.N.S.S., ADMIRALTY, the sonority essential to the har- LILLIE ROAD, mony of the Lux Aeterna but WANTED — 2 presentable LONDON, S.W.6 they did succeed with the fine young men to share a flat in Lacrymosa which ended the first the Earl's Court area, June on- quoting this journal. half. The tenors fared well but wards, please contact David were short of numbers. Sumner, Physics II, via the The performance was not tech- Union or Physics rack. Flat for the Summer Vacl Graduates who may be going abroad, but will be available in nically perfect but the overall effect was very pleasing. It was Excellent s/c flat in Fulham 1964/65, may apply now. obvious that members of I.C. for 3/4 students, wonderful Choir enjoy their singing and the value at £9 p.w. Six rooms, audience was not slow to appre- fridge, cleaner, etc. Contact I— ciate this. M.C. Clavell, Civil I. FELIX 3 FIRE AT I.C At lunchtime on Monday, a fire was discovered in the 'in- ert' part of the Nuclear Tech- nology Lab., just behind the Colcutt tower. The fire brig- ade was called out and rapid- I.C. BOOKSTALL ly put out the blaze before it could spread to the hot lab where small quantities of rad- ioactive materials are kept. a few bargains Three firemen were hurt when a cylinder of compressed gas in ties exploded, and were taken away by ambulance. RSM, C & G, RCS, IC full and half colours, 22 It is thought that the fire began when liquid oxygen and Chaps Club ties, all at5/- each. came into contact with some inflammable material, though Some 22 Club ties at 4/-. the exact cause is not known- What is more to the point is Riding Club, IC full and RSM half colours, at 2/6 that fire engines have visited the College at least three tjmes Blazers reduced to £6.9.6. (including crest) within the last few months. In a College where all manner of IC full colours sweaters 21/- each inflammable matererials are precautions do not seem to be RCS General 21/- each stocked in large quantities, fire quite up to scratch. IC crests in silk 17/6 each POSTS VACANT Anyone interested in the fol- RCS, C & G, RSM crests in silk 10/6 each lowing for next session please write to the Secretary, I.C. Where is this man Union c/o the Union Office :— 1. Editor of Phoenix Going? 2. Advertising Manager of Phoenix See page 10 i. Sales Manager of Phoenix 4. Hon. Treasurer of Phoenix.

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2) JUDGEMENT 1) TRIAL 3) SENTENCE

FRIDAY 8pm SATURDAY 2.30pm

Carnival Review THE GARDEN FETE Princes Gardens TRIPLE CHARGE ALMA COGAN

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jed stone and the raiders

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S 7r 6 single 3? FELIX 5

CARNIVAL PAGE

Cont. from front page Quick Takes Harris brought all the weight of The films at the Film Festival Us superior postgraduate tech- will be " Romanoff and Juliet" nique to bear on the problem, and " The Hound of the Basker- wielding a slide rule with great villes." abandon. To celebrate the selling of 250 The winning contestant was copies of " I.C. Sings " Norman handed a ticket for the May Ball, Price and Stan were presented and then congratulated by the with Silver Discs by the Carnival Executive in the usual manner— Queen at the May Ball. see photo. All in all, it was quite Don't forget the Juke Box in an ordeal, and it might perhaps the Snack Bar in the evenings. be an idea if the form of the Stynx has sold 2,500 copies so competition was changed so as to far. make it less formidable for the The Carnival Stall in the Union girls taking part. The fact that Quadrangle will answer all your out of an ICWA of well over a queries. hundred, only a few girls could be COMMANDO RAID persuaded to appear on the day Now the full story can be told. underlines the necessity for this. On the evening of Aplil 30th, The idea of walking the length of the South Bank was the scene of the quad amidst cheers and cat- a planned assault, of an unprece- calls, or worse still, grim silence, dented scale, on a national is enough to discourage most edifice. men, never mind the more timid 20.15 hrs. The raiding party as- members of the fair sex. sembled at Charing Cross Un- derground Station — all was A Message from the Chairman quiet except for one policeman Now that Carnival Week is in full swing I should like to who appeared to have vision of express my personal thanks to all those who have, and are, help- another Trafalgar Square epi- ing to make this event a success. Should anyone feel that they sode as he disappeared in an would like to help, especially next Saturday, they will be more than easterly direction at high velo- welcome. If anyone feels that they cannot give of time then any city. donation will be gratefully received. 20.20 hrs. The first assault group The money that we raise will be financing the building of small crossed the Hungerford Bridge earth dams in the Northern provinces of Nyasaland thus bringing and took up positions to the life to millions of acres of hitherto arid land. Thus it may be south of the target. The at- seen that our money will not be simply going into the vast maw mosphere was tense, every man of Asia but will be doing real good. The aims of the Freedom feeling that tugging at the from Hunger Campaign are best portrayed by the adage : Give a nerves, that moment of truth starving man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to cast that comes to us all before we a net and you feed him and his family for ever. " go over the top." I hope that everyone will enjoy themselves. 20.30 hrs. Cigarettes were Yours sincerely, stamped out, hand shakes were JOHN R. MADDISON. exchanged, and, with muttered words of encouragement the rest of the troops were on their way. You reporter was ap- 21.15 hrs. The jubilant invaders proached by a man in a dark left the target and reformed suit and offered a " Players." nearby to count the spoils. One receiving the password The troops then made off to- " I.C. Carnival," he spat out wards the West End and pro- the words " Daily Express." ceeded to sack it. Since the operation was well The Result—£130. under way by this time it was deemed safe to reveal the out- line of our plans and, when he had heard them, the Daily Ex- RAFFLE TICKET press man phoned for an aide. COUNTERFOILS 21.00 hrs. Except for a few minor skirmishes all our troops had penetrated the heart of the target. to be hand:d in by 21.08 hrs. At a pre-arranged SATURDAY morning signal the attackers unleashed their weapons. After a mo- ments surprise the defenders capitulated and indeed wel- to the Carnival Stall or Weeks Hall porter comed our invasion wich a Presentation of Silver Disc AT THE MAY-BALL round of applause. 6 FELIX

FELIX MINUTES OF A MEETING.. President: Gentlemen, you PROFILES have all been circulated with mini-recordings of the last meet- ing. I regret to say that as the recording machine has broken down you will in future have to do without any records of the previous meeting. The grave financial state of the Union ren- ders the cost of a new recorder prohibitive. Treasurer : A sensible decision. Carruthers : Hear, hear! FRANK IRVING Asst. Secretary: I entirely agree. Beit's Warden Standley : Now wait a minute! (All eyes fix on the speaker. Secretary smoulders ; Treasurer grits his teeth ; President takes out a packet of government issue cancer-free cigarettes and calmly lights one. Standley ignores them.) At the last meeting we sanctioned the Bowling Club's application for an atomic pow- ered paint sprayer for their bowling balls. Well, I mean to say, that cost 750 nobles, didn't it ? I really don't see why we shouldn't spend a mere 40 on a new recorder. I think it would be just as useful. Among the number of brilliant young men who arrived at He is also an indifferent per- Chairman of Athletics : (apop- Imperial College just after World War II, there came to the depart- former at the air-water boundary, letic after last remark) Mr. Stand- ment of Aeronautics one F. G. Irving, Esq. A graduate of Liver- but weighed down with a lead ley, you have an extraordinary pool University (whose finery he dons for Commemoration Days), belt and equipped with flippers, sense of values, if I may say so. Frank's transfer of allegiance from the Mersey to the Thames has etc., he manoeuvres as skilfully In fact, I very much doubt proved a considerable enrichment to the College scene. His activities as if he was airborne. Frank ac- whether you have any sense of as an academic worthy are not of wide general interest, though companied the very success- values at all. Are you seriously the supersonic wind tunnel with its attendant storage cylinders and ful Underwater Club expedition advocating that we spend 40 giant vent pipe is evidence of his technical expertise ; but he has to Malta, and an amphora of nobles on a recorder ? Why, we a remarkable range of other interests and achievements. about 200 B.C., one of many re- could buy four bowling balls for He is perhaps best known in his covered, adorned his flat before that price, or two electro-mag- netic golf clubs, or (practically role of Warden of Beit Hall. The seater distance record. This flight being prseented to the College. exploding at the thought) at least Irving stature is not overpower- from Lasham to Belgium also His lofty eyriee at the top of Beit six weeks supply of radioactive ingly massive, but for years, the proved that his persuasiveness, Hall also contains a large collec- muscle liniment for the rugby appearance of his acquiline pro- armed with only a driving licence, tion of gliding mementos, an im- club ! Do you realise . . . file, blue eyes glinting ironically is at least equivalent to a full set posing stereo player, and a behind their glasses, the prelim- of international documents plus multitude of colour transparen- President: (interrupting) Yes, inary " Hmmmm " and the sub- current passport. He is the chair- cies illustrating his quaint extra- well we all agree with that. (To sequent verbal astringencies, have man of the technical committee of mural activities. Standley) We are all aware of quelled the most turbulent of resi- the British Gliding Association, Although his domain includes your radical views, Mr. Stand- dents. His encounters with ama- and he has been a member of the the College's residential accom- ley, but now is not the time to teur steeple jacks, nocturnal bell British team at several world modation for ladies, Frank seems state them, I feel. We have ringers, Christmas tree removers, championships. Functioning us- determined to remain the only some serious business on the phantom instrumentalists and ually as retrieving crew, he is unmarried warden. It is not a agenda, and I think we must get miscellaneous convivials have adept at this hazardous form of little surprising that this expert on with it. made him immune to astonish- motor sport in which an enor- dancer, former Union cabaret Standley: Now look here, ment, without diminishing his mously long trailer is towed star, and in private life, benevo- that's a little unfair ! I . . . sense of humour. Heads have furiously over any type of road lent uncle, should have contrived (drowned by cries of " Oh, shut sometmies been lopped after par- which happens to lead in the to retain his eligibility. His re- up !" " Do shut up !" " For —'s ticularly outrageous incidents, but general direction in which the cent purchase of an electric sake, can't you keep quiet!" etc. Frank's rule is notably undes- glider was last seen. Any time blanket for overnight stays at President: I would remind you, potic. Year by year, the Beit not spent in retrieving, dismant- Lasham is said to have caused gentlemen, that we are constitu- Hall photo shows him surrounded ling, reassembling and renovating even the single ladies of the glid- tionally bound to break for exer- by residents, some even smiling the machine is customarily de- ing community to lose hope. cise every 30 minutes, and we and very few in attitudes of terror voted to fostering international There is no space to enlarge have already wasted 10 arguing or supplication. His calm and goodwill. This admirable cause further on the Irving characteris- about trifles. I suggest we move efficient administration has set a has taken Frank all over Europe, tics (the taste for Elizabethan immediately to item 2 on the difficult standard for the coming and in February '63 to the Ar- song, the highly idiosyncratic agenda : correspondence. Is there multiplicity of wardens. gentine pampas. The European vocabulary — the Metropolitan any correspondence ? Frank is also a leading figure Championships at St. Yan aided police are always " the gen- Secretary: We have a letter in the gliding world and has con- him particularly in his study of darmerie," the consuming interest from the London School of tributed greatly to the present high burgundies, and he has acquired in " Which" craft). His purpose- Economics challenging us to a standing of the IC gliding club some interesting bizarre record- ful commuting across Prince Con- debate. and to the development of the ings of Eastern European music sort Road—longer journeys re- Cvruthers: What's a " de- gliding centre at Lasham in from an excursion in the vicinity quire a car—is part of the College bate " Hampshire. A highly accom- of the Iron Curtain. scene : he has contributed much President: You, have a bad plished pilot, holding the gold Somewhat regrettably, one to our corporate life, and we trust memory, Mr. Carruthers. You " C" with diamond, and co- must record that Irving is grossly that he will do so for much longer were present when this Council author of a book on unpowered deficient in his appreciation of ball yet. disbanded the Debating Society levitation, he still holds, with games, except for a moderate two years ago. Lome Welch, the British two- competence at squash. K. E. WEALE. Carruthers: Oh yes, that's right! Couldn't afford to run it any good at it. In fact he is miser- " Over the last 30 years we have more, or something. of the College, "A Sound ably incompetent. steadily isolated ourselves from Mind in a Sound Body." I for- President: No. Besides, there After 15 minutes a bell rings. the University of Greater Lon- wasn't sufficient support. get the Latin equivalent. They all stop, put on their shirts, don. We are the only College President: You also forget, Standley: (sarcastically) I and walk underneath an elec- which does not have representa- Mr. Carruthers, we decided a should say there wasn't. Not tronic de-sweater. This instantly tion on the Greater President's month ago that that was much after you converted the debating relieves them of the sweat of their Council, the only college which too long, and shortened it to " In hall into an extension of the exertions, and they resume the fails to send a delegate to the a Sound Body." bowling alley. council meeting immediately.) United Nations (London Univer- Chairman of Athletics: Well, Chairman of Athletics: (still President: Item 4: estimates. sity Branch), and the only college choking) I don't see how anyone the old bowling alley wasn't big Treasurer to report on the de- which does not have a Debating enough, you must agree. can write letters like that when liberations and recommendations Club. I could list more. I think this College has for the last 10 President: (to Secretary) Write of the finance sub-committee. that worthy activities are being years, without exception, won the and tell them we challenge them Treasurer : Gentlemen, you all neglected. This year is my last Alwyn trophy, the National Uni- to funicular road racing instead. have before you a rvpy of the year at college, and I can'f say versity Bowling tropy, the Pea- Is there any other correspon- preliminary estimates for the that I'm sorry. Your truly, body Cup, the . . . dence ? There isn't ? Then we next session. As you see, our M. H. Smith.." (Prolonged President: (interrupting) Yes, pass to item 3, the Bar. Mr. total income is estimated to be silence.) quite. Well, of course, we shall Smallpiece to report. N50,000. There are two main Standley: I don't think it's a continue to do so, I'm sure. No- Smallpiece: The alterations to items of expenditure, namely, very good letter, but I think he's body really takes these letters the Bar are now complete. A Athletic Clubs, N40,000; and Re- got a point." seriously, you know. So I further 10 metres have been creational Clubs, N4.000. Both Treasurer: (glaring at Stand- shouldn't worry about it. (Sorts added to the counter, a new re- these estimates are slightly in- ley) I think it is a disgusting his papers.) It seems, gentlemen, frigeration plant installed. . . . creased over those of last year, letter, a shocking letter. It should as if that concludes our business but not substantially so. I shall Standley : Costing 1,000 nobles. never have been published. for to-day. I therefore declare not run over any of the other de- Smallpiece: 920 nobles, Mr. President: Well, you know, we this meeting closed. Standley. As I was saying, a new tails, unless there are any ques- can't tell the editor what to print (Whereupon he presses a button refrigeration plant installed, and tions. and what not to print. That on the table; a quiet whirring two additional barmen engaged. Social Chairman: I can't find would be censorship. sound is heard, a flap in the The old committee room B has the Social Clubs estimate. Secretary: What we can do is centre of the table falls back, been utilised to alleviate the Treasurer : Two from the bot- to ask him to publish a reply. I and a tray carrying a pleasant overcrowding in the bar, and tom sir. 250 nobles. could probably draft a suitable load rises slowly from below : suitable seats have been pro- Social Chairman : That's 100 one. That shouldn't be very diffi- five cellulose bitters, a couple of vided. As Council suggested, nobles less than we got last year. cult. Wigmores' browns, and a large ladies are now excluded from the Treasurer: Well, you have 3 Carruthers: To be published Flowers synthetic bright.) whole of the ground floor of the fewer clubs. You can't very well under the much respected motto DONALD PEARSON. Union building, and notices have expect the same grant. been erected proclaiming this. Standley: If they'd had a bit We should not have to suffer any more money they might not have longer the embarrassment of had to close down. ladies wandering into the bar and Treasurer: Come now, sir, well, overhearing, you know . . . that's not true, and you know it. Oh, yes !! The President will be These clubs just didn't receive pleased to hear that a big im- sufficient support. Not enough provement has been made in the people turned up at their serving-hatch scheme between his A.G.M.s, right ? Right. You office and the bar; the whole can't blame us for that. We're wall has now been removed, so quite prepared to support clubs that the President's office now which are active in the College. forms, in effect, a small corner But the dead ones, no—that's of the bar itself. I'm sure this just a waste. will be appreciated by those Carruthers : Hear, hear !! members of the College who have Asst. Secretary: I entirely been complaining of the Presi- agree. dent's isolation. Finally, gentle- President: Are there any more men, my own piece de resistance! questions to the Treasurer ? A private supply of Flowers Syn- (Pause.) Well, I think we can thetic Bright is now available at take it then that these preliminary a tap on the President's table. estimates are acceptable and pass (Cries of " Lucky beggar!" on to the last item on the agenda: "B y favouritism, that's Felix-Scrutiny-Phoenix. As some what it is !" etc.) of you are no doubt aware, there President: Excellent, Mr. appeared in the last issue of Smallpiece, I can hardly wait to F-S-P a certain letter which, it move in. A most ingenious idea. might be said, does no credit to I mean the private supply. Very the good name of this college. I commendable (pauses in reflec- think it would be appropriate if tion.) Yes. Well, we now pass the Secretary read out the letter. on to, oh dear ! (Catches sight Secretary : Felix-Scrutiny-Phoe- for full details of student transport of the clock.) It's time for our nix. 12th May, 1993. Page 4. facilities in Europe exercise break. (Reads) " The Editor, F.S.P. Sir, (At this point all the committee —In my humble opinion this col- TO N.U.S. TRAVEL DEPARTMENT, members rise—Standley rather lege is going to the dogs." (Cries 3, ENDSLEIGH STREET, reluctantly—and go into the next of "Shame!" "Disgusting!") LONDON, W.C.2 room. It is a lavishly equipped " In fact, if I may say so, it has gymnasium. They strip off the already gone." (Hushed silence.) please send me: track suits they are already wear- Chairman of Athletics : (foam- free copies of travelling student ing, revealing trim black shorts, ing) I refuse to listen to this rub- flight application forms and start lifting weights, running bish. train group, application forms on the spot, etc. One suspects President: I think we must^ that Standley's obvious dislike of hear the letter in full. Continue," Name (block letters) physical activity is in part, at any Mr. Secretary. Address rate, due to his not being very Secretary: (continues reading) 8 FELIX DUTCH TOUR Exhausting but enjoyable—tms sums up the ICWSC Tour in Holland over the Easter vacation. Twelve members of ICWSC left London on 24th March for Groningen, laden with a huge bulk of equipment to play five different sports. On arrival, we were met by our hostesses and taken to our digs, to discover that we had quite a variety of accommodation. First in the sporting calendar was a swimming gala in Groningen on the first evening. Although our swimmers were tired after a sleepless night, due to a rough crossing, they made an admirable effort, result- ing in a win for Kate Tait in the breaststroke and runner up in the ingen and we lost this match freestyle. The gala was con- 7—3 .though our team enjoyed ducted in a very light-hearted some first class games. The next manner, with lots of clown diving day was our busiest as far as and racing. It was followed by sport was concerned, as we had a party till the early hours : we three matches to play—hockey, started the week as it was meant swimming and badminton. As THE U.L. SOCCER CUP FINAL to go on. they were all held at different At Motspur Park on Saturday, 16th March, Imperial College The following day was taken places, the day went at quite a won the U.L. Soccer Cup for the 5th successive year. Their oppo- more gently, and spent sight- hectic pace, nents on this occasion were St. Mary's Hospital, rather unexpected seeing, though the keen table Before the matches, we were finalists, who were defeated by 3 goals to 1. tennis team managed to get in a taken to an excellent place which Although I.C. were somewhat practice for their match next day. served huge savoury and sweet fortunate to survive some of the ticular-, had the St. Mary's The badminton match which pancakes. These were so popu- earlier rounds, it must be noted 'keeper groping, was planned for Tuesday turned lar with the team that for the that they were forced to turn out A megaphone and a coach- out to be organised in the form rest of our visit we inevitably against St. Mary without the club load and a half of I.C. spectators of a singles tournament. As we made for there as soon as food skipper Dave Hunt who had a were now doing their bit, and had not played anything but was mentioned. We managed a leg injury. Furthermore the with Flynn's witticisms and Car- doubles, this was an amusing ex- full team from the people on the team's performance was bound to ter's bawlings floating across the perience. However, Jackie Brown tour, and considering this was not be affected by the semi-final re- pitch, Imperial's third goal just reached the finals, being finally the regular college team they play on the day before when had to come. With 15 minutes beaten 2 games to 1. played very well. The Dutch University College were defeated to go ,a shot by Wilcox found After this peculiar arrange- team proved to be rather fitter 3—0. Nevertheless, in the final, Casemore who flicked the ball, ment, we were ready for anything than us, and their teamwork was Imperial once again pulled out between two defenders, into the in the table tennis match. As slightly superior, so we were all the stops to gain a very credit- net. this too was made into a tourna- beaten 5—0, though the game ment, it ended with the majority was by no means as one-sided as able victory. And so, for yet another year, of the ICWSC team taking part the result score may indicate. In- _ the U.L. Soccer Cup Trophy is to Bas. James was captain for the take its lace in the t h cabi. just for fun. We were very cidentally, the Utrecht team went day and as usua he marshalled net in the Union ,ounge. pleased to have a win in the on to win the Dutch University the defence brilliantly. With After the match, the victorious match by Janet Brownlee, who Championships, the wing half-backs particularly won the whole tournament and The badminton doubles match team was led tQ receiye thd[ Austin, taking midfield control, medals b thg non.piaying skip. was presented with a silver spoon, was won by ICWSC very easily the opponents attacks were in- It was a worthy tribute !! Although the individual win- and we finished off by playing variably nipped in the bud and, MIKE COX ners in the sports were presented some friendly mixed matches. In as a result, St. Mary's defence Team . Ingram> Loftus? FigJ with prizes, we were all given the swimming match, Kate Tait was kept very busy The I.C. Case- decorated Easter eggs as memen- came second in the breaststroke. Austin> JameS; Huxtable> forwards, however, found things more> Crawfords Wilcox, Preece, tos of our visit to Groningen. We Our programme for that day difficult against quick-tackling Vaughan replied by giving them an IC also included a party in a cave defenders and the only way plaque. The Easter eggs didn't at the side of the canals which through appeared to be centres remain mementos for very long, started at midnight. By this time into the goalmouth. Thus, after as they were consumed on our we had got accustomed to the half-an-hour, came the first goal, journey to Utretcht the same day. Continental habit of living the when a corner-kick, taken by the There, a huge meal was waiting clock round, so with a mixture I.C. left-winger, Vaughan, was The Soccer Club moved quietly for us, to start us off on yet of Dutch boys and English law scrambled into the net. and discreetly into Paris on March another series of matches begin- students on tour, we were enter- Five minutes later, however, St. 25th. Except for washbowls, cup -ning with Table Tennis. tained very well. Mary's surprisingly equalised boards and wardrobes the Cite The opposition here was con- On Friday, we had our last when their inside right shot from Universitaire had everything, siderably stronger than in Gron- match—squash. Although the 30 yards. Ingram, who had ad- including a blackboard in the Dutch team tried to convince us vanced to cut off the expected bedroom for tactical plans and a that squash was a new game in through-ball, dived too late to nearby field to train on. ^^SfiSSSS^S^SSSSSSWi Holland, the match turned out to prevent the ball rolling into the Once settled in, Wilshaw pro- ^^S^^BS^B^^B^r^l; be very close, 2 games all, corner of the net. duced a " yard " and the vin or- w m UM v _rm ICWSC winning on points. dinaire was soon flowing freely. A JIM At ML M S We finished the tour, after On the stroke of half-time, Im- Munday as " Adult in Charge I

playing no less than 8 matches in penal regained the lead, de- then established his superiority by 5 days by a trip round Holland servedly, with the best goal of the downing li pints of the red stuff

in a car and a hired minibus match. Casemore, running in jn u seconds. Flynn, however,

TECHNICAL & GENERAL driven by two members of the from the right to meet a Fisher savecj the face of the young ones by

men's sports committee. We free-kick .nodded the ball back a ten second effort, without a drop were taken to Amsterdam for a across the goal for Wilcox to being spilt. He spent the next day ART MATERIALS tour of the canals, then on to the head into the roof of the net. in bed. Hague for lunch, and to Scheven- In the second half the pattern Rayner was quiet on his twenty- DRAWING INSTRUMENTS ingen, the seaside resort in the of play was very much the same, first! Austin, however, made une suburbs. On to Delft for evening STATIONERY A gusty wind and a pitch that acquaintance in a Montmartre cafe meal, thence to the Hook for the was cutting up rapidly made and a robust Auld Lang Syne plus PAPERBACKS midnight steamer to Harwich. ball-control difficult and not a run to the Metro was too much This last day really capped a many goals appeared to be in the for Olding whom, we later found road, s.w.7. offing. On the other hand, it leaning out of the fifth floor win- 1.34 5 EXHn.rr.ON ™°f enjoyable tour and we hope 1 that maybe next year we wdl seemed as though the I.C. for- dow. Directly below (the wind had have the pleasure of entertaining wards had resolved to shoot more abated) windows clattered shut, but a Dutch team in England. often and shots from Wilcox, not even the ensuing polylingual BERYL MILNER. Crawford, and Austin, in par- Cont on page 9 FELIX 9

Cont from page 8 teen. . A few die-hards, however, abuse could wake Preece, for whom stayed till 3.30 a.m., during which Sailing Club retain it was a weird night. time the Captain had gone to sleep, Much sight-seeing was done — and Price had unsuccessfully tried Championship the walking kept everyone fit for to fool a crummy mind-reader. the matches. The team visited the On Saturday night Fletcher and The college again won the bunched within as many boat Louvre, Notre Dame, Musee d'Art the shifty-eyed Pick came in ran- Castaways Cup, and this time in lengths for the first round, cross- Moderne, and an evening at dily raving about " Le Sexy " only very convincing style. ing tacks with each other and L'Opera to see Don Carlos was to find Wilshaw not quite himself. In strong winds that remained avoiding collisions by no more organised. To finish off one even- Eight of the lads were walking him throughout, nineteen teams took than a few inches. The Chelsea ing in Montmartre everyone ended around with their hands on his the water on the first day. fight died later in the face of up at Les Halles for onion soup in head, as he thought it was coming Among these were strong U.C. superior teamwork ; and the I.C. the true Parisian style. However, off. This was followed later by and London Hospital teams, both helmsmen—D. Pentz, R. S. Vines a fragrant odour soon diverted Munday running down the road in of whom were knocked out in the and E. Twiname—.drew closer to many nostrils and it was fish and his underwear trying to photograph early rounds giving I.C. a rather give I.C. the first three places and chips 14 times. the Eiffel Tower. easier passage to the final than the Championship. One day we played football. Thus, on April 2nd, the lads, expected. Lost form due to the The college second team were However the game (against L'Ecole clad with signs, perfume, Parisienne long ice-up was no longer evident knocked out by Chelsea, whose Centrale) was not as enjoyable as nightwear \and various other sou- in the semi-final and I.C. had to more experienced team was hap- had been hoped. The main diffi- venirs, left\Paris. Cox, unfortun- fight hard in the early stages of pier in the heavy weather that culty was language and as the ately was short of one of his their match against a C.E.M./ dominated the racing. referee was Russian "O" Level sketches due to the notoriously ill- S.E.O.S./Bedford combine, while The teams were :— French didn't help. The result of equipped Parisian toilettes. Chelsea were beating N.C.L. in First team: D. Pentz, R. S. a rather scrappy game was a 2—2 The steamer was packed with the other semi-final. Vines, E. Twiname, T. Clarke, draw. hordes of French schoolgirls, put- The first of the two races in the R. Henson, and T. Podmore. ting Cox and Price in their ele- After the game the destination final gave I.C. a lead of 5^ points. Second team : A. Thomson, H. was "Le Jockey" to which fourteen ments. They entertained on deck Tothill, Miss P. Howard, B. with songs whilst Pick slunk about The second race initially pro- were admitted at a reduced party Allsopp, A. Hunter-Henderson the gathered crowd looking for duced the closest racing of the rate. The cabaret was a little corny week-end, the six boats being and J. Riley. to say the least. Finally, at 2.0 a.m. someone " of age." The Captain with Rayner still holding the re- again went to sleep having earlier cord (no drinks from his ml. of that morning experienced that Champagne) a young lady dressed (quote) " Le sexy est le plus joli as a Bunny Rabbit came on, took strip-tease a Paris, toujours servis her clothes off and walked out par un pretexte spirituel ou out followed by most of the four- galant." A career The Lowestoft Hockey Festival

Fifteen members of the I.C. quickly degenerated. The final Hockey Club attended the result was a two all draw, Nick is what it's Twenty-ninth Annual Hockey Walker and Kerry Peters scoring Festival at Lowestoft over the for I.C. In the evening the bad Easter week-end. The players taste of the match was quickly were: John Skinner (Capiain), replaced by the more pleasant Frank Allen, Mike Butler, one of the local brews. No worth "Ned" Castell, Tom Creer, matches played on Sunday and and this was all to the good as a Tony Evans, " Rick " Heading, If you divide the population into two groups —those Chris. Hennessy, " Ossie " Hun- few individuals required peace ter, Chris. Packard, Derek and quiet in which to recover who take THE TIMES and those who don't—you find Painter, Kerry Peters, Colin from the evening before. The day Smith, Mike Stenning and Nick was spent in a variety of ways. this: those who don't take THE TIMES are in the great Several players enjoyed competi- Walker. majority. Those who do are either at the top in their The Festival as always was very tive rounds on the nearby putting enjoyable, the matches were green and a short walk to the Pier careers, or are confidently headed there. played on good grounds with skill Bar to see if the beer there still and determination, and in a good tasted the same. Others pre- THE TIMES both by its seniority in experience and ferred to practise Hockey on the festival spirit. The first match of by its incomparable prowess as a modern newspaper, the five played was against Man- front. Initially they played on the chester University Lions who lawns but were soon informed naturally commends itself to successful people. There were defeated 4—1, "Ossie" that there were some " Keep of Hunter in his usual form scoring the grass" notices which had is no high level conference, no board meeting, no top been officially removed to prevent two, and John Skinner and Tony executive's private office into which THE TIMES is Evans getting one each. How- them becoming souvenirs. The ever this initial success was tem- promenade then became the prac- not apt to be taken. pered by losing 3—0 to Kettering tice pitch but their efforts were in the afternoon, the forwards frustrated again, the ball fre- This choice of a newspaper by people who get on is quently going in the sea, so they squandering chances left, right indisputable.* In which of the two groups do you and over the top. On Saturday, also retired to the Pier Bar. another two matches were played. The visit to the Festival was place yourself? In the morning the I.C. forwards brought to a conclusion with an recovered their form and the enjoyable match against Kijana Greenshanks were defeated 3—1, on Monday. The match was Chris. Hennessy scoring one strongly contested and ended in Read goal and " Ossie " remaining con- a one all draw, Chris. Hennessy sistent scoring two. The after- scoring for I.C. noon produced the first drawn Five matches were played in all. match. Our opponents were the Two were won, two drawn and Royal Agricultural College, one lost, with ten goals scored by THE TIMES Cirencester who started playing the team and eight against. * STUDENTS AND THE TIMES: As a student B. N. PERRIN. you can have The Times lor 2|d. Write for details to with the determination to win at the Circulation Manager, The Times, London, E.C.4 all costs. Their sportsmanship PS.—The Landlord, Mr. Payne, and knowledge of he rules were would like his front door keys often in doubt and the game back. 10 FELIX THE SQUASH TEAM SPORTS DAY TOUR OF IRELAND

(24th-30th March) Monday Irish Bankers Club, Dublin. Lost 5-2. Tuesday Cork Squash Club. Lost 6-1. Wednesday Guinness Brewery, Dublin. Won 4-3. Thursday Royal Belfast Golf Club. Lost 5-2. Friday Crawfordsburn Country Club. Won 5-2. Saturday Queens University, Belfast. Lost 4-2. When our last two courts went up in flames, is was clear that only one course remained open to , the Squash Club: Bottle Returns emigration. Consequently, a team R.S.M. 11 pts. C.S.M. 0 pts. of seven was mustered to' tour This year it was the turn of the Ireland during the last week in Camborne School of Mines to March. The competant part* of come up to London to contest the the team consisted of " Bottle." The Bottle, a Trophy one Internationally-famous competed for annually between It was the wettest Sports Day ever. Most of the Motspur Park track Egyptian insect-hunter the R.S.M. and the C.S.M., was was covered in half an inch of water, and the conditions caused many of one ether Squash player and last held by Mines in 1958 and the events to be cancelled. The hurdling events, tug of war, staff race, the Captain of Tennis. after a narrow defeat by 3 pts. to Presidents' net ball match, and the programmed National Anthem did not all last year the Mines were rar- take place. This year the bad weather was particularly disappointing as Endeavouring to support them ing to go. a match between IC and Gottingen University was held in conjunction was a mixed rabble :— A goodly crowd of 100 or so with the intercollegiate competition. The result of the " International" one Irishman (to speak to the was never in doubt, Gottingen winning by 86 points to 56. It must be natives) saw Camborne kick off with the advantage of a blustery wind and remembered, in all fairness to IC one born Guinness-drinker the sun at their backs. The that Gottingen is a large Univer- ane Army Deserter and play was lively from the start with sity of some ten thousand students, one former Naval man, whom Mines using their backs very early many of whom specialise in physi- everyone hoped would be sea- on in the game, but it was evident cal education: the slaughter of IC sick. that the Camborne backs were was perhaps excusable. In order to keep natural strong in defence. After about a The RCS victory over Guilds enemies apart, the team was quarter of an hour's play Mines was in doubt up to the last event, shipped out in separate boats. went into the lead through a the high jump, which was eventu- (2 to Belfast, 2 to Dublin and 3 penalty-try awarded as the result ally won, ironically enough, by to Dun Laoughie). By some of some obstruction by the Cam- Nicholson, the Mines captain. The mirae'e, all managed to rendez- borne full-back when caught be- final result — RCS 124 points, vous at the girls' hostel in hind his own line by Jeff Thom- C&G 118, RSM 57. Dublin where accomodation had pson; Cast converted. The Mines The first event, the 100 yards, been arranged. pack was more than holding its started almost half an hour late, During the course of the next own in the set pieces and territor- the handful of brave supporters 6 days, we drove 700 miles and ially seemed to have the game well shivering in the stand. Harrison played 6 Squash matches :— in hand. The second half saw (RCS) managed to come second The insect-hunter won all his Camborne playing against the between the two Germans, his time matches (naturally), and the wind and their tactics in dealing of 10.5 sees, was but a yard slower other Squash player won 3 out with this situation was to prove to than the winner, but this was no of 6. The remainder won either be their eventual downfall. Rather day for records. Woods the IC 2 matches or one. Hospitality than kick their way out of trouble captain, achieved the best IC per- after the matches, was in accord- they preferred to run with the formance, winning the 440 in 50.2 ance with the best Irish tradit- ball and as a result they never seconds, one of ICS three victories ions, and led to many interesting left their own half for the rest of over Gottingen. Clifton (RCS), episodes. the game. The Mines back-row won an exciting 880 yards by a couple of yards in the compara- Before leaving Cork, we all of Thompson, Turner and Coxall tively poor time of 2 min. 1.6 sees., continually flurried the Camborne went to kiss the Blarney Stone, and Wilkins, the RCS captain, led backs into mistakes and the whole during which operation one nearly all the way, to win the mile turban fell off into the bushes pack played with great fire and in 4 min. 27.6 sees. The 1500 far below. Our programme left enthusiasm, particularly in the metres steeplechase was an all IC little time to spare, but the golf- loose. affair, and was won by the Guilds ers in the party managed to fit Midway through the second half, captain, Colvin, in 4 min. 42.6 GOLF in 3 rounds of golf, much to the a quick heel from a set-scrum just sees. The field was unfortunately That little college off High delight of the sailor who thus inside the " 25 " gave Wakelin weakened by the withdrawal of avenged successive squash de- enough room for a break and Street Ken. who knocked IC out of Mike Harris RCS, who slipped the UL Rugby and Hockey Cups feats at the hands of the "other with the full-back Gardner coming and hurt his leg while practising Squash player". into the line to make the overlap has been at it again. Last Wednes- on the wet grass. day, they thrashed a weakened IC Forbes-Jones had an easy run in Members of the team were: Golf Team by four matches to nil, for a try which was not con- The first IC men in the other Sherif Afifi halving one. Its QUALITY that verted. Shortly afterwards, from events were: Michael Combes 220 yards, Wood, RCS, 23.2 sees. counts. John Richardson a set-scrum on the Camborne 5- yard line the scrum-half, Mar- Long jump, Wade, RCS, (For 'weakened' read 'ACC chair- Peter Schofield 21 ft. 6 ins. man was not playing'—ED.). Adrian Erskine shall, made a blind side break and passed to Forbes-Jones who Triple jump. Peter Riding Pole vault, Asekun, Mines, Uppi Anand scored in the corner to make it 11—0. 9 ft. 6 ins. STOP PRESS Identification of the characters Javelin, Martin, Guilds. in the story is left as an exercise 3 So the Bottle returns to the Discus, Williams, Guilds, to the reader. I.C. WIN ATHLETICS Mines and on this showing it 105 ft. 6 ins. p,p.s. looks as if it is here to stay. Shot, White, Guilds, 36 ft. BY OVER 20 POINTS

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