ThunderCats: TAS

Chapter 3

By Knight Writer

[Scene is Mumm-Ra's tomb chamber.] Mumm-Ra: AT LAST! I have finally accessed the power of the internet! [Mumm-Ra's bandages blow in the wind.] Mumm-Ra: I can spy on my enemies! Check my email! Get a Facebook account! Look up hot nasty porn! Now, my scrying pool, show me the ThunderCats! [Camera is on Mumm-Ra's back as the sounds of a dial-up modem connecting are heard.] Mumm-Ra: Maybe I shouldn't have been such a cheap-ass by going for the Ancient Egyptian package...

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[Scene is an overhead shot of the wrecked Flagship and a new ThunderTank. Camera goes to Tygra & Cheetara.] Cheetara: So, you built this using scrap parts. [Camera is on next to his tank.] Panthro: Yep. [Back on Tygra & Cheetara.] Tygra: With no tools whatsoever. [Back on Panthro.] Panthro: No homo. [Camera is on WilyKit and WilyKat.] WilyKat: So, how the hell did you... [Camera is on the sky as rocks rain down.] Tygra: Oh, my God, BACK ON THE WRECK! [Scene is Panthro boarding the ThunderTank. Camera is to boulders falling down, then to flattened field. The ThunderTank digs out of it. Scene cuts to behind Mumm-Ra's back at his tomb.] Mumm-Ra: I told you once, I want to change my internet sercvice! Yes, yes, I know what it will cost. What do you mean by Monday! I.. Well... I could totally curse your entire family, you know that... Fine. Saturday. [Scene is on the ThunderTank digging its way out, then Panthro looking about.] Panthro: I know this is a kid's show, but getting stoned shouldn't involve actual rocks. [ThunderTank dives under the rocks & pushes the rear of the ship up. The other ThunderCats emerge.] Cheetara: So, what powers that thing? Panthro: The most powerful substance in the universe. [Cut to Tygra.] Tygra: Which is? [Cut to Panthro] Panthro: The concentrated sweat of Chuck Norris. [Back to the others.] Tyra: You DO realize he's just an actor. [On Panthro.] Panthro: HEY! NEVER badmouth the One True Chuck. [Cut to a shot of Chuck Norris from Walker: Texas Ranger complete with celestial lights behind him and angelic singing. Then cut to the ThunderCats.] Cheetara: The One True Chuck? [Cut back to the celestial shot of Chuck, then to Panthro.] Panthro: That's right. The... [Cut to the others.] Tygra: DON'T SAY IT!

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[Scene is Lion-O & Snarf walking through the forest.] Snarf: Okay, so what the hell am I doing here? Lion-O: Beats me, Snarf. Snarf: And why are you not, I don't know, leading your people instead of taking a daytrip? Aren't you Lord of the ThunderCats? Lion-O: It's good to be the king. [Lion-O immediately falls into the deep hole of this episode. Camera is on Lion-O trying to climb out.] Lion-O: Sides... too slippery! Can't get a grip! William Shatner acting... not winning me an emmy! [Camera is down in the hole with Snarf at its edge.] Snarf: First Mel Brooks, then Captain Kirk? [Camera is on Lion-O] Lion-O: Snarf? [Crickets chirping.] Lion-O: Hello? [Lassos rain down on Lion-O & haul him upward.] Lion-O: SNARF! If you wanna play games like this, go talk to Tygra! [Lion-O is pulled from the hole. Camera pans over the assembled Berbils, then to Lion-O.] Lion-O: HAH! I can take you with... [Vertical scene wipe to Lion-O & Snarf tied to posts.] Snarft: You were saying, hero? [Camera pans over the Berbils.] Lion-O: My God, Snarf, do you know what we've found? Snarf: Please keep your mouth shut... Lion-O: ROBOT OOMPALOOMPAHS! [Crickets chirp.] Snarf: For the love of crap, how do they even slightly resemble Oompaloompahs? [Camera is on RoBearBill as he brandishes a knife, then to Snarf struggling wildly.] Snarf: CUT HIM, CUT HIM, HE SAID IT!

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[Scene shift to the Black Pyramid. Camera is a view of Mumm-Ra from behind standing at his scrying pool.] Mumm-Ra: Almost there... [Silence.] Mumm-Ra: For God's sake, it's a 45 second video! How am I going to spy on the ThunderCats if YouTube is gonna be slower than balls?! [A dial tone sounds out as Mumm-Ra's internet connection fails.] Mumm-Ra: DAMNIT!

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[Scene is back at the Berbil village as Lion-O & Snarf walk in.] Snarf: Let me get this straight... [Camera is on RoBearBill.] Snarf: You guys are robots... [Camera is on Berbils tending the food trees.] Snarf: You run what looks a lot like a hippie commune... [Camera is on RoBearBill.] RBBill: Yes, that's right. [Camera is on Snarf.] Snarf: How the hell do you eat? RBBill: We can't. Snarf: So... why? RBBill: We grow our food for plot convenience. Lion-O: Awesome.

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[Scene is toward the end of the Episode. Lion-O & Snarf emerge with Berbils behind them carrying food.] Lion-O: They followed me home! Can I keep 'em? Panthro: How the hell did you get a bunch of robot teddy bears to bring us an assload of food? RBBill: We roll over for pretty much anyone who wants to take our food. It's not like we eat it or anything. We'll even help build your Lair. Tygra: Um... Seriously? RBBill: Please don't kill us. [Camera is on the other ThunderCats, then episode ends.]