R4680 NEWS YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW (inc VAT)

ISSUE 230 DECEMBER 2018 Lennie the Liquidator dials the wrong number Liquidators of Pinnacle Point who sued directors for R720m, settle for R27.5m

IT’S A FORGERY! Judge Spilg’s name on that SARS list, and the slippery slope eThekwini council lies in court about illegal Berea high-rise

Merry Christmas from Bheki

Help us end

ISSUE 230 • DECEMBER 2018 THE GREAT MOBILE HEIST Mobile phone network providers are robbing us blind and no-one seems to care – except for noseweek. The providers are illegally charging customers for services they’ve never signed up for through shady third party content providers Johann van Loggerenberg (WASPs), raking in possibly under the microscope for billions of Rands. media connections. Page 10 Whether you’re a victim 4 Letters or not, help noseweek put an end to these 6 Editorial charges by joining the

26 From another FEATURES civil action campaign to country hold the mobile operators 7 Please explain Judge Spilg! to account. It will only take 28 Books Judge claims SARS’s top debtors list with his name you a few minutes and 29 Letter from on it is a forgery – without his having seen it. won’t cost you a cent. All Umjindi information provided will 10 Spooks galore be treated as confidential. 30 Last Word Noseweek takes another look at the secret world of Johann van Loggerenberg and his friends in the 31 Smalls media, a world of intrigue and subterfuge.

15 Durban metro supresses investigation eThekwini in hot water after allegedly misleading Supreme Court of Appeal.

17 Bitter sweet in Kandyland Conman Pieter van der Watt is still at it. To find out more and 20 ANC spooks in VBS deals: The fallout join the cause, got to: Mutual Bank under scrutiny for corruption. bit.ly/BigWaspHeist 22 Making the difference When we last looked, 11,354 Professor Mamokgethi Phakeng weighs in on her cellphone users had signed up. role as UCT Vice-Chancellor and the challenges faced so far. Help us double the numbers by the end of December 2018

3 Letters

Porritt and Bennett trial: 16 years and very seldom went to the Cathe- All snug piety in Göttingen, Germany dral of Christ the King, where Segod- then? Come on! Wessel Ebersohn is a on and no end in sight isho claims to have met me. widely respected author of the highest Mr Segodisho needs to check his integrity. Noseweek is honoured MY RESPONSE TO YOUR EXCELLENT facts, because he is clearly mistaken to publish his work. The article editorial in nose229, “Justice delayed when he claims that he met and you speak of is, in my view, a fair is justice denied”: It is incarceration related his plight to me. reflection of a tragic situation all the without the pronouncement of guilt. I do, however, condemn the alleged players find themselves in. – Ed. It is an abuse of human rights and actions of Father MacCurtain and the right to a fair trial. It is shameful. support the efforts of the Catholic n CAN WE GET THIS ON TO CARTE Tony G Church in dealing with such conduct. Blanche? Online comment Fr Smangaliso Mkhatshwa ‘Citizen’ Chair Moral Regeneration Movement Barrydale n I HAVE FAR LESS SYMPATHY WITH Pretoria Porritt and Bennett than I have for Bull in Survé’s china shop their victims who lost massive sums MTN, pay back the money! of money due to the illegal actions I WONDER WHERE IQBAL SURVÉ AND HIS of the accused. Yes, our legal system Independent Media Group would be is at fault but only in failing to take I READ YOUR ISSUE WITH THE COMPLAINT without the ANC as his guardians? stronger action against the delaying many people have about “content Jeanette Noble tactics that the defendants have charges” on their cell phone accounts. Johannesburg been employing for years now. MTN will not refund these debits ‘Kerway’ even after they confirmed that I Making new friends in China? – Ed. Perth, Australia had not used or subscribed to any service. They should not allow these Can you believe it?! n DON’T FEEL SORRY FOR PORRITT. HE “service providers” access to their deserves everything he gets. clients’ accounts without the clients’ Dave Hill permission. WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT? IN MY POSTBOX Eston, KwaZulu-Natal Gerry Steytler this last week I received Noseweek, Via email issue 192 – for October 2015! ‘Rape victim didn’t confide in me’ Lorna Seymour You are absolutely right. Tell us more Pretoria and we will follow up with MTN. I HAVE NOTED THE ALLEGATIONS MADE BY Have you signed up for our online That was the time of the previous Mr William Segodisho in your campaign? If not, go to: https://dear- great Post Office strike – the one that November issue (nose229): “Paedo- southafrica.co.za/noseweek-2 – Ed. really rang the death knell for the phile priest and the Catholics’ 17- SA Post Office and all but destroyed year cover-up”. Noseweek – when postal hub Witspos In an affidavit, Segodisho alleged ‘Civil war’ report slanted was dumping mountains of un- that as a teenager he had attempted delivered mail in Germiston ware- to report his having been raped by IS WESSEL EBERSOHN’S REPORT ON A houses. – Ed. another priest to Father Mkatshwa, “low-intensity civil war” just north but that Mkatshwa had not wanted of Pretoria (nose229) supposed to be Subsistence fishers cast adrift to hear about it. journalism? Such a clearly slanted, I must inform you that I have never and racially peppered opinion piece? OVER 400 SUBSISTENCE FISHERS FOR met Mr Sogodisho or Father William It is very disappointing that the rock lobster had their rights MacCurtain and was not aware of editor did not insist on at least a revoked to make way for the new Segodisho’s story until it was pub- modicum of balance, for something so-called “Small Scale Fisheries”. lished in the media in recent weeks. that is presented as an article. Why I represent the Nearshore Cray- I have given a statement to SA Police did he not send the author across to fishers Association, a group of Service investigators, stating this the other side and elicit the views of subsistence West Coast Rock Lob- fact. At the time that Segodisho the “homeless”, who are presented as ster Fishers who have been griev- alleges the incident took place, I was a hostile and invasive entity? ously harmed by the government Secretary-General of the Southern This belongs among the reader’s over the past three years. African Bishops’ Conference and was letters, if even that. Shoddy work, For some reason the Department based in Pretoria. I had very little Noseweek. of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisher- contact with priests in Johannesburg ‘Kyle’ ies (DAFF) seems to think that they parishes except for casual meetings, Göttingen, Germany can simply discard us and replace

4 Letters

us with the new Small Scale Rock Lobster Sector. towing vehicles. In many cases we Fishery, the department’s current Our sole income for at least 15 use vessels and outboard motors “pet project”. years has been the legal harvest- that are over 40 years old. To illustrate the point: ing of rock lobster. Our quotas have We are reduced to risking our 1. Of the 892 Near Shore Commer- been extremely small, reducing us lives every time we go to sea, while cial quotas (that is us), only about to subsistence fishers even if we the big offshore companies just get 420 were renewed. More than half of carry the name “commercial”. Some richer. us lost our sole income at the drop 90% of us come from a previously Theoretically we could of course of a hat. The only “justification” we disadvantaged background and sup- take this matter to court but we do received for this was that DAFF port extended families. had a “duty” to ensure viable quotas We are fishermen and possess not have the resources. Knowing for the Small Scale Sector (all new few other skills. All are at least this, DAFF simply ignores all our entrants with no legal dependence middle-aged by now; starting a new pleas. on fishing). occupation from scratch would be Please contact us if you have any 2. Some 3,600 new applicants in extremely difficult. We do not have suggestions or would like to help: our sector have been treated just as insurance, medical aid or pen- www.backabuddy.co.za/charity/pro- badly. DAFF enticed them to apply sion funds and cannot claim UIF. file/nearshore for quotas, gladly accepted their We have invested in boats, fishing After exhausting all other possi- application fees totalling more than equipment and vehicles. bilities we have now finally request- a R1 million and only then an- DAFF’s latest decision on the TAC ed an urgent meeting with Presi- nounced that no new entrants would split is literally the straw that will dent Cyril Ramaphosa to intervene be allowed in our sector. Now these break the camel’s back. on our behalf. We will be reporting people are summarily excluded from Where’s the logic? If you look at back to let you know how this has the Small Scale sector as well. the Offshore Sector you will find worked out. 3. The latest insult to injury is the that 25% of the TAC has been given TAC (Total Allowable Catch) to only two companies, Oceana and You can contact us at legalrecord- reduction split: DAFF shifted the Premier Fishing. [email protected] or call 081-855 2488 bulk of the TAC reduction on us. One very important fact to consid- Anton Kruger We took a 57% reduction – greater er is that we simply cannot afford Nearshore Crayfishers Association than any other sector in the reliable boats, outboard motors and Hermanus Stent

NOSEWEEK December 2018 5 C

Editor Editorial Martin Welz [email protected] Assistant Editor Lennie dials the wrong number Jonathan Erasmus

Special Correspondent EATED TOGETHER AT A TABLE FOR BREAKFAST confused and clearly panicked response was Jack Lundin at the Taj hotel in Cape Town on to say “I am sorry, I didn’t know you were Designer Wednesday 7 November were the sick” and then abruptly ended the call.” Simon Wilson entire defence team appearing for The breakfast table listened in awed Sub-editor various former Pinnacle Group direc- silence then broke out in raucous laughter Fiona Harrison torsS and executives who have been sued for that went on and on and on. R720 million by the liquidators of six compa- Then everyone got serious. Katz had just Contributors nies in the Pinnacle group. done what some say could amount to inter- Anita Hofschneider, Skot Thayer, Ranged around the table are one-time fering with the court process – a serious Michiel Heyns, Bheki Mashile, CFO of the Pinnacle Group Steven Kruger, offence. It was decided that advocate Green Susan Segar, Harold Strachan Senior Counsel Ian Green, advocate Ndumiso SC and his juniors would go, accompanied Cartoonists Nxumalo (junior counsel), advocate Matthew by Katz’s counsel Gavin Woodland and see Stacey Stent, Gus Ferguson Clark (junior counsel), Accountancy Prof the judge in his chambers before court and Accounts Harvey Wainer (expert witness) and briefing tell him there was “an issue” that “might Nicci van Doesburgh attorneys Christopher MacRoberts and Tony have to be raised in open court”, but that, [email protected] Hardy of Clyde and Co. in the meantime, the parties were not ready Subscriptions Despite years spent under siege by “the to proceed with the trial that day. Which is Maud August largest law firm in Africa” ENS’s head of what happened. [email protected] liquidations, Leonard Katz (long better On the way out of the judges’ chambers, Woodland formally distanced himself from Advertising known as “Lennie the Liquidator” with all what Katz had done that morning and 021 686 0570 that title’s brutal connotations) and his [email protected] favoured Senior Counsel, Gavin Woodland declared he had known nothing about it. SC (liquidators’ legal fees and costs R60m so A while later a “without prejudice” letter arrived from Leonard Katz, “totally denying All material in this issue is copyright, and belongs far), the Pinnacle defenders are in surpris- to Chaucer Publications (Pty) Ltd, unless otherwise ingly good spirits. everything” (unspecified in his letter), indicated. No part of the material may be quoted, In recent weeks things have suddenly reserving his rights to sue whoever, and photocopied, reproduced or be stored by any turned in their favour in the trial proceeding accusing his opponents of “playing dirty” by electronic system without prior written permission. Disclaimer: While every reasonable effort is taken to before Judge Ashley Binns-Ward. Katz’s summoning the head of ENS, Michael Katz ensure the accuracy and soundness of the contents of chosen expert witness, forensic accountant (no relation) and Kevin Markman, head of this publication, neither the authors nor the publisher and investigator Terence Hatzkilson’s Commercial at ENS in Johannesburg to will bear any responsibility for the consequences of testify for the defence. any actions based on information contained. Printed evidence has been torn to shreds. Witnesses and Published by Chaucer Publications (Pty) Ltd. called to substantiate his expert opinion, It emerges both had been highly paid legal ended up contradicting it. He had (conveni- advisors to the Pinnacle Point directors in ently?) failed to note numerous company relation to most of the issues for which Katz documents that happened not to support was now accusing them of misconduct. his damning view of the directors’ conduct. Within 48 hours the two opposing law His theoretical analysis did not stand up firms were talking settlement. A settlement to scrutiny. He made serious calculation agreement was signed by all the parties errors. and made an order of court by Judge Binns- Halfway through the breakfast, attorney Ward on 12 November (see Western Cape Chris MacRoberts’s cellphone rang. Within High Court case no. 11156/14). SUBSCRIPTION RATES seconds, the astounded expression on his In brief: The claim for a total of R720m Print face had all those seated around him silent. in the original summons was settled with For some time he said nothing, just listening a payment of R25m by the insurers, AIG, SA only R420 to what the caller was saying. Then he and R2.5m by Absa’s nominee director at Neighbouring states (airmail) R620 Europe, Americas and Australasia R760 spoke: “Lennie, do you know who you are Pinnacle, Hennie Pretorius. In total, less talking to? This is Chris MacRoberts.” than 4% of the original claim. Internet edition 1 year R305 Seconds later the call was over. The opposing parties absolved one another “You will not believe it! I’ve just had of all claims against them. The agreement Combined Leonard Katz on the phone thinking I am records that “Payment of the settlement Print+Internet (SA only) R520 Terence Hatzkilson (his expert witness)! amount does not constitute an admission To subscribe He did not allow me time to talk. He just of liability by the defendants and has been By phone (021) 686 0570 launched in with ‘Terence, we are in serious agreed to only in order to resolve the matter Online (pay by credit card): shit. We need more time to deal with and avoid incurring further legal costs.” www.noseweek.co.za IFRS [International Financial Reporting Investec, who guaranteed ENS’s fees Email [email protected] Standards] technical issues. You need to be and costs in the case (said to total at least sick for another day. Get a sick note.’” R60m), will collect the tab for the balance. (Note: cheques no longer accepted) It was then that MacRoberts intervened More about the case in the next Noseweek. to tell him who he was talking to. Katz’s The Editor. Further information Call (021) 686 0570; fax 021 686 0573 or email [email protected] Please explain, Judge Spilg!

Judge claims SARS’s Top Debtors List with his name on it is a forgery – without seeing it. And why would anyone have wanted to forge such a SARS list in 2002?

N A PROSECUTION FUNDED BY SARS chair, but they did however find a for herself if I am misquoting – she – to the tune of an estimated chair which the [SAPS] captain is contends that your Lordship is not R100,000,000 so far – Gary Por- sitting on now. in a position to deal with Mr Porritt’s ritt and Susan Bennet are on trial Judge Spilg: Right. present condition because she is of the for more than 500 charges relat- Coetzee: And Mr Porritt, I do not view that you are conflicted. edI to their management of the Tigon think Mr Porritt availed himself of She then requested that she meet Group which was delisted in 2003. that chair. I am not sure. When he you in chambers to discuss the matter, Of the 500-odd charges, only eight came into court, he was walking on and she referred to the Noseweek saga alternative charges relate to tax all fours and then he walked to just [see nose228 regarding Judge Spilg’s matters. before that spot where he normally name featuring on a list of SARS’ top Proceedings in the drawn-out sits. tax debtors compiled in 2002] and said trial before Judge Brian Spilg which Judge Spilg: Well… you had then suggested that it should resumed in the South Gauteng High Coetzee: He is lying down on his have been brought to your attention in Court, Johannesburg on 6 November, back now, M’Lord. chambers [not embarrassingly in open began bizarrely enough: There are also certain issues that court]. I said that this is a different Judge Spilg: Right, is Mr Porritt still Accused No. 2 [Bennett] wishes to matter… She should address you on not in court? address. There are two issues that we the record pertaining to your perceived Prosecutor Etienne Mellett Coetzee have to deal with: firstly, the condi- conflict or bias. The State also indi- SC: No, M’Lord, Mr Porritt is in court. tion of Accused No. 1. We will make cated to her the… only remedy is to He is lying on the… submissions in t``hat regard when it bring an application for your recusal Judge Spilg: Ah. is appropriate, M’Lord, and when your and that she should do so. Coetzee: …on the floor. Lordship calls upon the State to do so. (Noseweek at a later date will deal Judge Spilg: Is there a wheelchair? Then Accused No. 2 indicated that with issues surrounding Gary Porritt’s Coetzee: M’Lord, there is no wheel- in her opinion – and she can speak medical condition – either real, or as

NOSEWEEK December 2018 7 Judge Spilg believes, simulated – and M’Lord, on that occasion you knew, Bennett: Well, as I say, I have the wider subject of Judge Spilg’s you were informed, and an applica- never provided any information to alleged bias in this case.) tion was brought, that the trial which Mr Lundin, M’Lord. I have never For now, we deal only with one aspect you had ordered to proceed on 5th to spoken to him. He may live in the of the saga because it directly involves 9th of September clashed with dates same town – I would not know… And Noseweek, namely the inclusion of set for the Lamax trial where SARS I am sure that if you brought him Judge Spilg’s name in that 2002 SARS was the principal, the plaintiff, and to this court, he would say the same “naughty list” of major tax debtors, as that date had been set many months thing. The Noseweek article I alluded it was described in nose228. before. SARS did not want that trial to, well, what I alluded to, was to an After a protracted argument about to proceed. It seems to me that in article published in Noseweek on the Porritt’s medical condition and how ordering that we should proceed with 4th of August this year, which printed Judge Spilg set trial dates, allegedly this trial [in Johannesburg] on those excerpts from a list of tax defaulters. to advantage SARS and disadvan- very same dates […] certainly was Judge: Do you know where it came tage the accused – most particularly of assistance to SARS. And unfortu- from? by allegedly depriving them of legal nately, I regret to say, the Noseweek Bennett: Sorry? representation – Judge Spilg ordered article that I brought to your atten- Judge: Do you know where it came Bennett to proceed with cross-exam- tion highlighted a fact which I had not from? ining the State’s first witness: known before… Bennett: Yes, it stated in Noseweek. Bennett: Am I now to cross-examine Judge: I see there is another It came from an affidavit that I had Mr Milne, M’Lord? Noseweek article [the editorial in put up to Mr Vusi Pikoli [the NDPP], Judge: You are now cross-examining nose229] that has just come out. at his request, to explain how I knew Mr Milne. Bennett: Oh? that [Gavin] Varejes and [Michael] Bennett: M’Lord, then I wish to place Judge: Have you read that one as Strike owed a lot of money to SARS. on record that I believe this procedure well? Judge: And was my name on that is irregular – highly irregular – and I Bennett: No, I have not, M’Lord. original document which you referred wish to bring an application in terms Judge Spilg went on to state [incor- to court? of s.317 of the Criminal Procedure Act rectly] that Jack Lundin was the edito- Bennett: Yes, M’Lord. that you are acting irregularly…” rial’s author and that he lives in the Judge: Where is that document? Bennett proceeded to list a number same town as Bennett, drawing the Bennett: I have got it on my laptop, I of occasions in the course of the trial inevitably (wrong) prejudicial conclu- can print it for you. when, she alleged, Judge Spilg’s sion from that. Judge: Please do. I want to see that rulings were irregular, referring with Judge: All I am indicating is that the my name is on it. I understand that emphasis to a ruling he had made on editorial appears to be completely one- that was a forgery. 31 August 2016 “for which we have sided. Bennett: Not at all, M’Lord still not been given reasons and it is Bennett: I have never met Mr Judge: Ms Bennett, I understand it now well over two years later… Lundin, I have never spoken to him was a forgery. [Judge Spilg is notorious for his Judge: It appears that he could only Bennett: That is the first I have late delivery of reserved judgments. have got that information from one or heard of that, M’Lord. The State has A survey published in September two people and that he has not looked never denied [its authenticity] or said revealed that six of his reserved judg- beyond that. it was a forgery. In fact… ments had been outstanding for [This debate was pointless, since Judge: That somebody had inserted more than three years, one for four – Lundin was not the author, Noseweek that… flagrantly flouting the Chief Justice’s editor Martin Welz was the declared Bennett: …the State has actually three-month rule. – Ed.] author, and he lives in Cape Town.] confirmed that it was a document from SARS and they objected to my revealing it. Judge: That is why I would like to see it so that I can find out; so that I can see the document that bears my name. Bennett: Certainly M’Lord, cer- tainly. If you adjourn now, I will print it for you. Judge: But, in any event, what is the relevance? Bennett: The relevance, M’Lord, is that it shows that your Lordship owed a sum of money – and when you looked at it you said, well that is certainly my name – a large sum of money to SARS as at that point in time. You then, on 4th August, instructed Mr Coetzee to arrange for SARS to come Gary Porritt Susan Bennett on the following Wednesday, to explain

8 why your name was on the document. seen the document? to that application, the prosecution You said to Mr Coetzee that he repre- The SARS Top Tax Debtors’ list reprimanded Bennett for making sented SARS, he was paid by SARS. first came to light when, on 28 July the list public, thereby embarrassing And that was placed on the record. On 2002, a facsimile was sent by email, members of the public named in it. the Tuesday, before the Wednesday, to Bennett, unsolicited, by Tigon’s Not one of the accused or the prosecu- you came into court, M’Lord, and you accountant Grant Ramsay. He did so to tors or Judge Spilg himself appeared said that it was no longer necessary prove that Gavin Varejes and Michael to have noticed his name on the list. for SARS to come, you had sorted it Strike – or rather their trusts – were When Noseweek subsequently out. It was not… listed as owing SARS substantial published parts of the list to illustrate Judge: You must read the words sums. Ramsay, Porritt and Bennett a story about the case we too did not very carefully… were all in dispute with Varejes and notice Judge Spilg’s name on it. A Bennett: …you did not say you had Strike at the time. Spilg’s name on reader called to alert us to it. sorted it out, you said it was no… the list – he was an advocate at the When in turn, this was brought to Judge: …I was very careful with bar at the time – was of no interest to Judge Spilg’s attention, he angrily what I put. any of the parties then, so there could demanded an explanation from the Bennett: Yes, you said it was no be no reason why a forger might have SARS-hired prosecutor, Etienne longer necessary. inserted it. Mellett Coetzee SC, who expressed Judge: Look to the source from In July 2007 Bennett sent a copy of surprise. As, he told the judge, it was which it came, Ms Bennett, that is the list to the Director of the National an “internal” SARS document not effectively what I said… [no need ] to Prosecuting Authority, advocate Vusi intended for public consumption. take it further. Pikoli, querying why Varejes and Which leads Noseweek to pose Bennett: You said it was no longer Strike had not been prosecuted. the question: why would the judge, necessary for SARS to come. Pikoli answered by pointing out that two months later, make the highly Judge: Ms Bennett, carry on. Bennett’s possession of the docu- improbable claim that it is a forgery – Bennett: You did not explain what ment was illegal and demanding she without any evidence or explanation? the circumstances were. explain in an affidavit how she had The issue is clearly far more serious Judge: I do not have to. come by it. Which she immediately than we had imagined. n Bennett: M’Lord, I believe you do. did. She declared that while she did That is the issue. I have got case law… not know from whom Ramsay got the Coetzee: M’Lord, can I say… document, he admitted in affidavits Judge: Mr Coetzee, if you go down a provided to the police that he had slippery slope… been paying bribes to one or more Coetzee: Exactly, M’Lord employees of SARS. Judge: You invited this, Mr Coetzee. (One of them, a certain Viljoen, Coetzee: M’Lord, the… was subsequently prosecuted and Judge: Because we are wasting time. sentenced for supplying Ramsay with such information.) ND SO JUDGE SPILG TERMINATED ANY Once again there was no sugges- further discussion of the matter tion from the highest level that the in the Johannesburg high court list was not a genuine internal SARS on 6 November this year. document. On the contrary. ABut that does not end the discussion Spilg only became a judge in 2009 of this very tricky subject in Noseweek. and was seized with the Porritt/ How, for a start, can he dismiss the Bennett case for the first time in 2015. document – or rather, as he suggests, The list featured again in Porritt the alleged insertion of his name in and Bennett’s application for a stay the document – as the work of a forger, of prosecution in January 2016, heard Etienne Coetzee when he has, by his own account, not by Judge Spilg. In their response

NOSEWEEK December 2018 9 SPOOKS GALORE As top SARS ofcials face charges, Noseweek takes another look at the secret world of Johann van Loggerenberg and his friends in the media – a world of intrigue and subterfuge that is generally but not always in a good cause

HEN MUZI SIKHAKHANE SC “We had to walk a tightrope in Sikhakhane’s job was to investi- was appointed by acting placing our trust in the truthfulness gate claims by another former lover, SARS Commissioner Ivan of witnesses whose trade is largely Pretoria attorney Belinda Walter, that Pillay to head an external in the intelligence craft,” reads the Van Loggerenberg had run a covert panel to probe allegations Sikhakhane report. “Such officials are unit within SARS, that he unlawfully ofW impropriety against its top inves- an essential component of any state. revealed taxpayer information, was tigator Johann van Loggerenberg, However, some choose the faking of engaged in unlawful interception of it didn’t take long for the panellists sincerity, deception and intrigue as conversations and had initiated their to realise the extent of their task. In their preferred tools of trade.” romantic relationship with the sole front of him was marshalled a body Significantly, Sikhakhane adds: “The purpose of obtaining incriminating of veteran spooks, not slow to trot out recruitment of former intelligence information about her clients in the testimony that was “self-serving, false officers within its ranks was a double- tobacco industry. and irrelevant”. edged sword for SARS. It afforded Walter was chairperson of the Some members of the Revenue SARS the opportunity to make great Fair-Trade Independent Tobacco Service contingent, who were “hypno- strides in its own investigations. (But) Association (Fita), a group of tobacco tised by Mr Van Loggerenberg’s with all their requisite and usually companies some of which were under perceived power and charm”, were helpful skills, they can alter the very investigation not only by SARS but “clearly prepared to protect him at nature, culture and operation of an also by the State Security Agency all costs”, Sikhakhane wrote in his otherwise civilian structure. It may (SSA). She had also been a covert November 2014 report. On the other have the effect of turning a civilian agent of SSA since 2010, and estab- hand, he added, others had adopted a structure into a command and control lished Fita at the behest of her intelli- hostile stance towards the charismatic theatre of intrigue and subterfuge.” gence masters in order to obtain infor- official “as a result of what we viewed Accompanied by his attorney and mation about illegal tobacco operators. as organisational dynamics”. by Nic Maritz SC, Van Loggerenberg, In fact Walter was a double agent, also now 49, gave testimony twice. The passing confidential information to first time he did not volunteer the British American Tobacco. Or even a existence – let alone his involvement triple agent, if you count the inside – in SARS’s National Research Group, information she provided to SARS its High Risk Investigations Unit, through Johann van Loggerenberg. or any of their predecessors, coming It was Belinda Walter who kick- clean only in the second session started the whole SARS rogue unit after their existence was fortuitously scandal after her seven-month fling revealed in the media. Initially, Van with Van Loggerenberg ended in May Loggerenberg had two requests: that 2014 and she took her story to the the panel should not reveal the names press. of fellow SARS officials with whom This entire SARS saga involves a he had had romantic relationships, maelstrom of professional spies, the and that the panel should not name three most important ones having his private charity, Wachizungu, in its arrived at SARS around the same report. Initially, he named only two time, in 1998/99. SARS romances. Confronted with a The most high-profile yet most third name, he admitted it. His three discreet operative of the trio was lovers were Lana Pinkham, Siobhan Pravin Gordhan, these days Public Jackie Selebi Wilson and Talita Snyckers. Enterprises Minister but under apart-

10 heid, a quietly spoken pharmacist Prosecuting Authority in the build- Some of Van Loggerenberg’s at the King Edward Vll hospital in up to the arrest on corruption charges favoured journalists (no one from Durban – until he was detained. of then national police commissioner Noseweek) were featured in KPMG’s A key figure in the ANC under- Jackie Selebi. highly controversial Report on SARS ground network, Gordhan had spent The charges against Van Rogue Unit (see nose228). four years developing the structures Loggerenberg and co have revived From the hard drives of targeted indi- of Umkhonto weSizwe (MK) and its speculation that a rogue unit was viduals at SARS, the KPMG forensic Operation Vula. A solid Party man, indeed active within SARS. When investigators retrieved evidence of con- he was deployed to SARS as Deputy the trio last appeared in the Pretoria fidential taxpayers’ information that Commissioner in 1998, taking over as Magistrates Court on November 8, the was passed to select journalists. They Commissioner in November 1999. also discovered that some journal- Ivan Pillay, who joined SARS in ists would email their stories to Van 1999 as head of compliance, risk and ...some journalists Loggerenberg prior to publishing them. enforcement, was an old fellow Vula In an email to investigative journalist comrade and as the organisation’s Jacques Pauw on 10 May 2012 Van project manager reported directly would email their Loggerenberg wrote that the informa- to Oliver Tambo. Post-1994 Pillay tion he forwarded was confidential “as played a key role amalgamating the it concerned aspects of a taxpayer”. He former protagonists’ intelligence stories to Van said the obligation was on Pauw not forces into the newly formed National to divulge that Van Loggerenberg had Intelligence Agency and South African engaged with him. Secret Service. Loggerenberg prior Van Loggerenberg asked Pauw “to Johann van Loggerenberg (arrived consider meeting with him off the at SARS 1998) told the Sikhakhane record”. Was that careful overture by panel that he had been an undercover to publication the spook the beginning of their soon- agent for the police during apartheid, to-be-highly beneficial relationship? in what he described as the Republican case was postponed to 14 February (Van Loggerenberg was to be a key Spy Programme. He was referring to while their advocate, Laurence Hodes source in Pauw’s recent best-selling the Republican Security unit (RS), one SC, does battle in the high court for book The President’s Keepers). of the apartheid regime’s more noto- disclosure of the full police docket, Two years later, on 10 August 2014, rious police outfits, which specialised in part of which had been held back by City Press splashed another story by recruiting bright young students who it the State Attorney. Pauw, revealing that the previous trained to infiltrate and operate under Van Loggerenberg’s special unit at month Van Loggerenberg’s supposedly cover within the liberation units. Van SARS is said to have made spectac- angry former lover Belinda Walter Loggerenberg (“at least as he testified,” ular gains against organised crime. had complained to SARS bosses that said Sikhakhane) was deployed in the In the process he built up strong, if Van Loggerenberg was “mentally ill, unit’s less controversial operations infil- strictly unofficial, links with the media. unstable, corrupt, a pathological liar trating organised crime. Officially, SARS’s secrecy provisions and a sociopath likened to a paedo- In the new South Africa, Van forbade him from talking to the press; all phile”. (We say “supposedly angry ex- Loggerenberg told the panel, he joined media communications were supposed lover”, because, as has been suggested a similar police organised crime unit, to go through the press office, headed by others, it could just as easily have and was later seconded to the National by Adrian Lackay, Van Loggerenberg’s been part of her mission as an agent Intelligence Agency on specific investi- friend and co-author of his 2014 book of the SSA to discredit the competing gations. His recruitment to the Secret Rogue: The Inside Story of SARS’s Elite SARS spy unit.) Service followed and it was in this time Crime-Busting Unit. Pauw’s story recounted how Walter that he met Pillay who was busy pulling all the intelligence structures together. Pillay introduced Van Loggerenberg to Gordhan, then deputy commissioner, who told him of his plan to develop the intelligence capacity within SARS. There Van Loggerenberg rose swiftly through the ranks and was considered their crack investigator. Today, Van Loggerenberg and former deputy commissioner Ivan Pillay, along with former SARS National Research Group leader Janse “Skollie” van Rensburg, face charges of corrup- tion and the illegal interception of communications over an operation known as Project Sunday Evenings. It is alleged that bugs were installed in the head offices of the National Johann van Loggerenberg and Belinda Walter

NOSEWEEK December 2018 11 had confessed to Van Loggerenberg report commented: “The sharing of Peega’s questionable background – see that she worked as a spy for the information appears to be an attempt noses191&223. but Noseweek was Special Operations Unit within the to prove that Van Loggerenberg’s also the only news medium to point out State Security Agency. Pauw quoted intentions regarding Walter were that the existence of a rogue spy unit in text messages that Belinda Walter honourable.” A Box alongside the text SARS was not improbable, given the had sent Van Loggerenberg when states: “Van Loggerenberg forwarded background of the people involved.] their romance was ending. One, on 15 WhatsApp messages between him and In 2015 Belinda Walter swore an May 2014, read: “I made phenomenal Walter to the media. This is in direct affidavit stating that Johann van sacrifices for you, I was committed to contrast of his previous denial.” Loggerenberg and other SARS offi- you. I believed your speeches on your That Sunday, 17 August, Jacques cials had “unlawfully surveilled, moni- honour, your integrity. I am sad you Pauw produced a sensational reprise tored and intercepted” her privileged are not that person.” in City Press, revealing the Mata Hari communications. “I am also aware Soon after, reported Pauw, the tone of of the cloak-and-dagger world of spying that JVL [Loggerenberg] similarly their messages turned nasty. On 27 May that lay beneath the “glitzy life” of intercepted the communication of Walter warned Van Loggerenberg: “Rest Belinda Walter. Pauw wrote: “This is numerous other advocates and attor- assured every email, WhatsApp and the picture that emerged this week neys which included a senior counsel,” exchanges where you impart informa- as City Press obtained more evidence ran her affidavit. “On or about 14 or tion on other taxpayers is safely stored.” and information about her exploits as 15 November 2013 JVL informed me (Walter subsequently told the an ‘economic intelligence’ agent of the that he had been intercepting all of Sikhakhane Panel that Van Loggerenberg Special Operations Unit of the State my communications. gave her a USB memory stick with “anal- Security Agency (SSA).” “I gave evidence to the investigation ysis software from the SARS interception He continued: “City Press reported unit”, including information extracted last week that Walter – SSA agent from her phone. She said the hawks had number 5332 – was among the rogue secured the memory stick as evidence. agents who plotted to discredit top ‘JVL informed me On 12 August 2014, two days after state officials, obstruct investigations City Press appeared, Van Loggerenberg into organised crime and smuggle emailed Pauw attaching more personal contraband cigarettes.” that he had been WhatsApp messages between himself Pauw solemnly reported that Van and Walter. He stated that “the informa- Loggerenberg declined to comment, tion provided was for reading purposes but added that the SARS man had only and not to be discussed or published “hundreds of text messages, emails intercepting all my without proper approval.” The KPMG and other documents detailing his relationship with Walter, which he believes will show she infiltrated him communications’ for the SSA, to discredit him.” This extraordinary “Mata Hari” instigated by the Inspector-General of diatribe was accompanied by a heart- Intelligence and am aware that two warming picture of Van Loggerenberg reports were issued. I believe these among a group of Zambian chil- have been ‘classified’ to avoid the state dren in his capacity as director of a having to answer for the reprehensible charity (Wachizungu) that “runs an conduct of the rogue unit within SARS orphanage and gives shoes to under- insofar as the illegal interception and privileged children”. monitoring of communications of In her Right of Reply to City Press, attorneys, advocates, taxpayers, poli- Belinda Walter said: “Pauw chose to ticians, journalists etc for nefarious present a biased view that painted me agendas is concerned.” in the worst possible light. Perhaps Johann van Loggerenberg was a this was because Pauw was listed in director and “Begger-in-Chief” of my complaint (to SARS) as a jour- the above-mentioned Wachizungu nalist sharing an improper relation- charity, and the KPMG report ship with Van Loggerenberg. expressed concern that its donors “Pauw appeared to follow a pattern included taxpayers or individuals of tyranny described to me by Van who were subjects of previous or Loggerenberg that had been used ongoing SARS investigations. The extensively to discredit those who auditors commented: “Even though it became aware of the criminality being may be argued that Wachizungu had perpetrated by the covert [SARS] unit good intentions, the position of Van and dared to oppose it. Mike Peega Loggerenberg was still compromised, [a unit member] and other whistle- with conflicts of interest caused by the blowers before me have had their lives taxpayers he is supposed to investi- wrecked by the media and were not gate and collect revenue from.” Gavin Varejes believed when they spoke out.” One such taxpayer under investiga- [Noseweek, too, wrote about spy tion was Gavin Varejes, president of

12 SA Rugby Legends (more later). Independent ran a story by its editor Members of the media also made Steven Motale claiming that virtually donations to Wachizungu. One of all information in it regarding SARS was them was Adriaan Basson, at the time provided by our old trio of former spooks assistant editor of City Press. On 23 who joined SARS together in 1998/99 – September 2012 Basson and Pauw Pravin Gordhan, Ivan Pillay and Johann co-authored a timely scoop in City van Loggerenberg. Motale quoted “impeccable sources” Press about a “fraudulent and possibly corrupt” R52-million Limpopo roads who told him that Pauw had had no tender won by On-Point Engineers, in intention to write the book until he was which the family trust of then-ANC approached “with tons of information” Youth League leader Julius Malema by an influential group led by Gordhan. was a shareholder. When Pauw expressed reservations Association of Arbitrators The second part of the Basson-Pauw over possible lawsuits, he was given an (Southern Africa) NPC story revealed how SARS had quietly assurance at a meeting in Stellenbosch obtained a R16m tax judgment against attended by “a prominent businessman” The leading Alternative Dispute Malema, and was targeting Malema’s that he would be provided with a budget Resolution organisation in property and assets in Limpopo and to cater for all litigation. Southern Africa. Gauteng, including his half-built Gordhan denied playing any role in mansion in Sandton, a farm and small- Pauw’s book. Pillay said he had not had The benefits of being a Member of holding in Limpopo and a house in any contact with its author and Van the Association are: Polokwane. Loggerenberg’s lawyer said the allega- Five months later, on 1 February tions were “false, malicious, spurious Education and training – 2013, Basson produced another great and defamatory”. Pauw ranted against which enables members to – and equally timely – SARS exclusive journalists who dared suggest anything elevate their status from that in City Press, disclosing details of the that contradicted his own view: Motale of Associate to Fellow; 51 charges facing Malema in SARS’s was “discredited” and accused of having insolvency application, scheduled to used planted information. Once Fellowship status has be heard in the North Gauteng High Explaining Wachizungu to the been acquired – upon Court later that month. The assistant Sikhakhane panel, Van Loggerenberg successful completion of the editor’s scoop quoted the contents of stressed that his charity did not collect two-year Fellowship a supporting affidavit from senior tax for itself, but acted as a conduit, using Admission Course – inspector Pieter Engelbrecht revealing the GivenGain online platform to pass Members are eligible for how Malema’s net assets of R8.5m had donations to three “causes”: the PutFoot admission to the panel of reduced to R1.4m; how R5.8m had been Foundation, the Vincent Shabalala arbitrators from which paid by “third parties” to rebuild his Trust in Alexandra and the Wachizungu appointments are made. house in Sandton; and how SARS had Orphanage and Academy in Zambia. rejected Malema’s offer to borrow R4m The KPMG report said that Van to settle outstanding taxes to 2011. Loggerenberg at one stage had used his The following courses are now Noseweek has established that on 27 personal credit card account to receive open for registration in 2019: May 2013 Adriaan Basson made a R500 and make donations. A 15 February donation to Johann van Loggerenberg’s 2013 credit card statement reflected Accelerated Course for charity Wachizungu. receipts of R70,000 and R90,000 Advocates and Attorneys; The journalist had good reason to from an account styled Wachizungu. be grateful to Van Loggerenberg. His Transfers totalling R150,000 were then Certificate in Arbitration; memorable SARS exclusives were effected to GivenGain, leaving R10,000 Fellowship Admission a major factor that won him CNN’s in Van Loggerenberg’s account. Course; Journalist of the Year award in 2012 The auditors reconstructed a for his articles on Malema’s financial Wachizungu list of donors based on Specialisation in affairs. Basson moved on from City GivenGain notifications. It totalled Construction Law. Press to head Media24’s Afrikaans news R716,401, of which a whopping R550,000 platform. He is now editor of News24, was from entities associated with a Africa’s biggest online news platform, controversial businessman with serious Closing Date where he has derided the existence of a underworld connections named Gavin 28 February 2019 rogue unit at SARS as “patently false”. Varejes. [Basson and Pauw conceivably have Varejes, president of South African an interest in tirelessly overstating the Rugby Legends Association and a case, elevating their SARS sources to generous contributor to the Police To enroll, kindly send an email to: the status of sainthood. – Ed.] Widows and Orphans Fund, headed [email protected] Richmark Holdings, which had inter- The Van Loggerenberg connection Visit our website: has also been beneficial to his old City ests in information technology, commu- Press colleague Jacques Pauw. When nications, property and security. He www.arbitrators.co.za Pauw’s book The President’s Keepers was is listed as a director of Specialised launched at the end of 2017, the Sunday Services Group (SSG), a private secu-

NOSEWEEK December 2018 13 rity organisation previously known at his house and eight months before as Associated Intelligence Network Porritt was arrested, Gavin Varejes (AIN). arranged for the planting of cocaine In an unassociated 2010 case the in Porritt’s Pietermaritzburg home judge declared: “AIN commanded the by two police reservists named Paul resources of the SAPS when it saw Stemmet and Freddie Burger. The fit. The lines between AIN and police pair ran a dodgy outfit called Palto, investigations became blurred. which frequently carried out dirty Police officials acted in two capaci- tricks for Jackie Selebi. It took 10 ties, even doing AIN work whilst on years before Gert Nel, the DPP in police ‘sick leave’. This is untenable.” KwaZulu-Natal, decided that Varejes Back in 2001 Varejes and his busi- should be prosecuted for his part in ness partner Tony Strike faced a the drug-planting. R210m claim from Gary Porritt’s However, on 7 May 2012, before Tigon group over the alleged over- the case was put on the roll, Nel valuation of a cellular accessories met to consider representations business, EuroPoint, which they from Varejes’s lawyers, criminal had sold to Tigon. The same year, attorney Ian Small-Smith and advo- Tigon accused Varejes and Strike cates Laurence Hodes and Mike of massive VAT fraud discovered in Hellens SC. And on 11 April 2013 EuroPoint. Nel announced he had reconsidered Varejes turned for help to his and was no longer convinced a pros- friend, the crime lord Glenn Agliotti, ecution was “feasible”. He considers complaining that Porritt had caused the matter finished. (Copies of SARS to conduct a lifestyle audit the original letters can be seen on on him. He felt harassed by the Noseweek’s website.) Revenue Service and his failure to Around this time there were two get the authorities to pursue his generous lots of donations to Van own complaints against Porritt. Loggerenberg’s Wachizungu charity. Agliotti offered to set up a meeting The first was the aforementioned with corrupt national police commis- R550,000 from Varejes, the bulk sioner Jackie Selebi and senior of which was delivered around IF YOU RENT PROPERTY SARS personnel. November 2012 (a time when DPP A dinner was duly held at Varejes’s Nel had agreed to reconsider his KEEP THIS NUMBER house, attended by Selebi and decision to prosecute Varejes). The Agliotti. Two senior officials from second was R35,000 from Varejes’s I CAN HELP YOU WITH SARS – Johann van Loggerenberg attorney Ian Small-Smith, made on and Ivan Pillay – were also there. 5 June 2013 (two months after the PROBLEM TENANTS Confirming the meeting later, SARS DPP announced his decision to drop claimed its officials did not sit down all charges). I CAN ASSIST YOU WITH THE at the dinner table as that would “We found the fact that taxpayers RENTAL HOUSING TRIBUNAL have been in breach of SARS’s gift subject to an investigation [were] policy. making a donation to an entity con- IF YOU DON’T NEED ME NOW, The KPMG report states: “The trolled by Van Loggerenberg extraor- YOU WILL LATER primary unanswered question dinary and could not find a logical is why two senior SARS officials and acceptable reason for such JOHN: 082 901 0824 deemed it fit to meet with a taxpayer conduct,” stated the KPMG report. at his house and after hours on the The auditors added: “Varejes is Porritt (Tigon) matter, considering also involved in social welfare fund- there was a designated SARS official raising and it may be that he made (already) working on it.” [It might the donations in this capacity, but have added: with a major crime one cannot omit to consider that Van boss and the Commissioner of Police Loggerenberg and Pillay attended a in attendance – Ed.] Subsequently, meeting at the residence of Varejes, SARS raids led to Porritt’s arrest in when there was a dinner attended December 2002, marking the start of by Agliotti, Selebi and others. a 16-year slow- motion criminal pros- “The main purpose of the meeting ecution against him for fraud, theft was apparently to discuss and and racketeering that continues to provide information he (Varejes) this day. had affecting him and the Porritt In 2007 Varejes confirmed to the matter.” Mail & Guardian that Selebi played l In June this year, Van Loggerenberg a part in the Porritt’s prosecution. dismissed the Sikhakhane Report as After the 2001 dinner with Selebi being “flawed in fact and law”. n

14 Durban metro supresses investigation to win court battle eThekwini in hot water after allegedly misleading Supreme Court of Appeal. By Jonathan Erasmus

HE ETHEKWINI METRO COULD FIND of severity”; there was no evidence council had underplayed its role in the itself in a seriously compro- that the municipality had acted in a rezoning and “seemingly blames one mised position if allegations “biased and fraudulent manner”; and individual for the mistake”. Neither that it misled the Supreme the city’s infractions that might lead the city nor the developer could Court of Appeal (SCA) are found to liability for the council, were not “convincingly show that the rezoning toT be true. exceptional as there was “no evidence was rational or lawful”. In May 2017 the council appealed of bad faith, fraud or corruption on the Based on the city’s arguments and an order granted by the High Court part of the administrative official”. submissions, the SCA found that in Durban for a multi-level, half- The SCA upheld the appeal in Judge Steyn’s order “lacked clarity built, 11-storey luxury building on favour of the council. and certainty” and did not “exercise Durban’s Berea to be demolished But Noseweek has discovered that a discretion in determining a just and (nose190&212). Lawyers for the metro 36-page report completed in December equitable remedy”. council argued at the SCA hearing that 2015 by Mbuso Ngcobo, head of the But at no point did the city tell eThekwini shouldn’t be held account- City Integrity and Investigative Unit the SCA that between the high court able for the unauthorised actions of (CIIU) – which has since been kept ruling and the SCA hearing their own just one employee – “the administra- hidden from public view – reveals Integrity and Investigations Unit tion official” – and downplayed the that eThekwini was fully aware, when confirmed the findings of Judge Steyn “errors” to argue that the demolition arguing before the SCA, that in fact and had gone beyond it, uncovering order granted was excessive. it was not just one staff member’s further violations and irregularities. The city told the SCA judges that, minor infraction – there were at least Among its findings were: to the extent that there were irregu- six senior employees involved and all l The rezoning of 317 Currie Road larities, they were of a “far lower order had been found “in dereliction of duty” from General Residential 1 to General and to have failed to perform the func- Residential 5 was irregular due to the tions of their office “in good faith, dili- fact the incorrect legislation was used; gently, honestly and in a transparent l The required notices were not manner”. served on nearby residents for the Furthermore the city’s own inves- rezoning application; tigative unit produced a report l No demolition permit was obtained agreeing with Durban High Court to destroy the previous structure, Judge Esther Steyn’s June 2015 order which was older than 60 years and which ruled that the rezoning of the required approval from the province’s property on 317 Currie Road from heritage foundation, Amafa; a standard residential plot to one l The application was not properly that could accommodate end-to-end processed through the Joint Advisory construction, had been “irregular”. Committee (JAC) which was designed It found that neighbouring residents by the city to achieve consistency and were not given the opportunity to quality in approving plans; object, along with other inconsisten- l Ms Lekha Allopi, Project Executive cies – enough to give credence to the and former chairperson of the JAC argument that the processes were should be charged for violating somehow corrupted on purpose. Schedule 2, Section 2(b) and (d) of Judge Steyn had found the council the Code of Conduct for Municipal and the developers, Serengeti (see Staff Members, in that she signed the box), failed to inform the affected report recommending approval of the neighbours of the proposed change of application for rezoning... knowing zoning or give them details about the that the matter had not been resolved proposed development. She said the by the JAC;

NOSEWEEK December 2018 15 l Mr Eric Parker, in his capacity opers who may be… taking advantage because they are meant to be internal of regional coordinator and a JAC of a town planning department that control documents. The CIIU reports member, be charged for violating is running amok in the Berea, that are issued to the relevant stake- the Code of Conduct for Municipal any rezoning beyond a GR2 zoning is holders within the municipality, both Staff Members in that he signed the likely to be unlawful and that their political and administrative. report recommending approval of the greed may come back to haunt them,” “The recommendations of the CIIU rezoning application... knowing well said Aboobaker. report were implemented and all steps the JAC had not resolved matter; When Noseweek asked the eThek- taken were reported to the municipal- l Mr Lihle Phewa, deputy head: wini Municipality a series of questions ity’s internal oversight structures. development and planning, be charged directed to city manager Sipho Nzuza However, the matters between the for violating Schedule 2, Section 2(b) and the head of Development Planning, municipality (as the employer) and its and (d) of the Code of Conduct for Management and Environment at employees are treated confidentially.” Municipal Staff Members in that eThekwini, Musa Mbhele, city spokes- The DA in Durban, which has been he signed the report recommending person Msawakhe Mayisela replied consistently opposed to the building, is approval of the application for stating: “It appears from the expected to file a notice of motion with rezoning... knowing that the matter substance and the accusatory tone of the eThekwini speaker’s office early had not been resolved by the JAC. your narrative and questions that you next year asking for a detailed probe Three other members of staff in the have neither fully comprehended nor into its Department of Planning, department – Ravi Naidoo, Charles appreciated the subject matter of the Management and Environment. Tree and Vaughan Boden – were Municipality’s appeal to the Supreme The DA wants the executive found to have acted improperly and Court of Appeal. committee to instruct the City been “in dereliction of duty” but had “For ease of reference, the munici- Integrity and Investigations Unit [to left the city’s employ by the time the pality never sought to appeal against conduct] an investigation into the report was finalised, thus couldn’t be a finding to the effect that there Development, Planning, Environment put before a disciplinary committee. were irregularities in the approval and Management Department over The unit received the complaint process, the appeal was only limited a “growing number of allegations from affected resident and campaigner to the remedy that was granted by around corruption and mismanage- against the development, advocate the Durban High Court. The sugges- ment” surrounding the department Tayob Aboobaker. He asked the city to tion that the municipality concealed and its “inability to properly enforce investigate whether the demolition of the City Integrity and Investigations bylaws”. DA ward councillor Chris the previous structure on the site was Report from the Supreme Court of Pappas whose jurisdiction covers demolished legally and queried the Appeal is rejected with the contempt Currie Road, criticised the city’s legality of the rezoning of the property that it deserves.” “serious lack of enforcement” of its from General Residential 1 to General He said the city had no duty to bylaws and regulations “and often it Residential 5, which drastically disclose the report to the SCA or the seems land owners are not supported”. changed the floor space and size of the public as it was “immaterial to the “There is no drive to protect law- building that could be built on it. issues that were before [the SCA]”. abiding citizens. There are property In 2018 Aboobaker submitted a “The CIIU reports are never made developers taking advantage of the lax Promotion of Access to Information public by the municipality, they only enforcement. The city manager must Act (Paia) application for the report, become public when they are leaked deal with it, he told Noseweek.” n which was turned down, as was his appeal. When contacted by Noseweek, he was considering approaching the court to get an order to have the docu- Serengeti on appeal after funds ment released. “The public requires a full explanation as to why this report was not disclosed by the municipality have all dried up and why it was not disclosed to the HE DEVELOPER OF 317 Currie Nela Kahle 35 CC claimed that in SCA. The municipality is not a private Road, Serengeti Rise Indus- July 2015 it launched an application litigant; it was duty bound to place the tries (Pty) Ltd, has continued to get an order compelling Serengeti information before the court. Had it with construction since the to return the scaffolding. done so the result at the SCA would SCA ruling, but confining The matter has dragged on, with have no doubt been different,” he said. workT to the interior only. the scaffolding still on site. But He added that he now felt “vindi- However it is clear that the legal on 28 September Judge Dayalin cated by the contents of the report” battle has set them back signifi- Chetty said the developer must pay and that it was a “crying shame the cantly financially with several R20.9m rental to cover the period SCA had not come to terms with the service providers having reportedly from August 2015 to June 2017 and machinations that led to the rezoning not been paid for services rendered. would continue to be liable for rental of 317 Currie Road and the passing of In September the company as long as the scaffolding remains – these atrocious plans”. He called on providing scaffolding to the building which Noseweek estimates to be in the city to inform the SCA about the obtained an High Court order to the region of R15m. investigation’s contents and to get an be paid R20.9 million, including Serengeti has taken the matter on order to stop the development. interest. appeal. n “I want to caution prospective devel-

16 Bitter sweet in Kandyland You can’t keep a good skellum down: Kandyland’s Pieter van der Watt is still at it. Jack Lundin tracks down the conman’s latest prey

HEY’RE LITTERED ACROSS A WIDE the big time, with exclusive rights to swathe of the country – flog Kandyland’s line of 42 sweeties brothers Denis and Themi – including 32 different flavours of Nasis in Germiston; 62-year-old the amazing Rainbow Lollies – across Elayne Henderson in Kemp- the East Rand to top stores like tonT Park; Gerald Bullen, 76, and son Game, Pick n Pay, Woolworths and Gavin, 43, in Nelspruit; 60-year-old Ackermans. Sarel Henderson in Meyerton; Jacqui Sales projections that Van der Watt Erasmus and her 23-year-old daugh- gave them looked good: R11,000/ ter Bodine in Pretoria. All promised day, R2.97 million/year. Of that, the the earth by Kandyland conman brothers’ slice would be 25%: R2,750-a Pieter van der Watt and now seriously -day, R742,500-a-year. out of pocket, every one of them mad Noseweek began chronicling the as a mongoose and baying for their antics of 53-year-old Pieter van der nest eggs. Watt in January 2007 (nose87). That The stories of Van der Watt’s latest cover story reported that SAPS detec- victims make sombre reading. Let’s tives in Cape Town were investigating start with Denis and Themi Nasis, complaints from 340 Kandyland depleted this year by R340,000. For investors, who claimed to have lost this considerable sum, plus R210,000 between R60,000 and R450,000 for stock, smooth-talking Van der Watt apiece. assured the brothers they would be in In January 2017 (nose207) we recounted the hazards of investing in one of Kandyland’s sweet-making factory franchises – and how Van der Watt was cashing in on President Pieter van der Watt Mandela’s name by punting a line of Kandyland’s sugar-soaked confec- tionary as The Madiba Lolly, much thing to say about that. (Read on). to the annoyance of the Nelson Denis Nasis, 55, is the long- Mandela Foundation, custodians of running franchise owner of Fego the Mandela trademark. Caffé in Brakpan’s Carnival City. This time we’re only talking about The Kandyland venture was to be distribution deals, known as “depot for younger brother Themi, 50. They agreements”. The Nasis brothers’ didn’t have the additional R210,000 deal this August for the East Rand for stock, so it was agreed that they rights was with a Kandyland spin- would go out and get the orders, off, Novelty Candies. Their licence to while Van der Watt’s own staff would distribute would give them exclusive handle deliveries and take the money access to 300-odd retailers appar- – a service for which 5% would be ently lining up to order the lollies. deducted from the Nasis’s commis- Van der Watt’s blurb on the internet sion. that suckered them in stated that the Before handing over their R340,000, price of these “depot agreements” was the brothers wanted to do a due dili- R130,000. So why the R340,000 price gence and asked for the all-impor- tag now? “Van der Watt explained he tant Client List of 300 retailers. “Van had to buy back the area from the der Watt held it up, he waved it, but previous depot holder,” says Themi refused to give it to us until we paid Nasis. (The previous East Rand depot the money,” says Denis. Gavin Bullen family licencee, Elayne Henderson, has some- So they paid up and armed with

NOSEWEEK December 2018 17 the Client List Themi Nasis began his nation in his voluminous 11-page rounds of East Rand retailers. And depot agreement, one being clause received a rude shock. The big name 16.3: “If the Depot (the investor) fails stores that Van der Watt claimed as to do sales to the value of RX per week customers gave him the cold shoulder. for more than six weeks consecutively”. “The stores on the List were terrible, (The mandatory weekly target swings in downmarket areas, worse than a between R15,000 and R25,000). And spaza shop,” says Themi. clause 14.4: If the Depot “refuses to “It resembled a generic list that perform the marketing duties as per anyone could extract from the Yellow this agreement”. Pages. Some didn’t even exist, they had It emerges that when they handed closed down. Others, like Glenacres over their R340,000, the Nasis Super Spar in Kempton Park, brothers never got round to signing Karaglen Super Spar in Edenvale the depot agreement. So after parting and West Pack Lifestyle, were just not with R11,000 for three hours’ consul- interested. We’d get nowhere near Van tation with senior counsel they have der Watt’s sales projections.” instructed their attorney to apply to Adds Denis Nasis: “A lot of the stores the high court to have their deal with were throwing us out because they Van der Watt declared to be a fran- had had previous bad service. Also, chise agreement. An unsigned fran- the quality of the product (produced at chise agreement would not comply Pieter Van der Watt’s factory unit in with the Consumer Protection Act, it Cape Town’s Saxenburg Park) was not will be argued, so Van der Watt must good. Out of ten Spars that my brother return their R340,000. Denis and Themi Nasis would visit, maybe two would buy. It While this courtroom manoeuvre was a litany of bad reputation. They trundles into action, Elayne didn’t want to deal with Van der Watt.” Henderson, a sales rep from Kempton restrain my husband, who wanted to After about six weeks the Nasis Park who held the East Rand depot go and beat him up. The whole family brothers decided it wasn’t working, licence for more than three years, is mad with him. He’s a crook.” and asked for their R340,000 back. Van splutters when she hears that Van der Listen to extract of that phone call der Watt responded with a demand for Watt had to “rebuy” the territory from on Noseweek’s online edition. the additional R210,000 for stock – in her, thus justifying its increased price Up in Nelspruit, retired busi- cash. to the Nasis brother. She says Pieter nessman Gerald Bullen rues the day Van der Watt is quick to remind van der Watt “never paid me a penny!” 17 months ago that he responded to disgruntled investors in Kandyland/ Henderson had signed up in June Pieter van der Watt’s Kandyland ad in Novelty Candies of reasons for termi- 2014, paying a whopping R486,000 to the local paper. “I thought it would be Van der Watt for the East Rand. This an opportunity for my son Gavin,” says included R100,000 for “goodwill and Bullen. “I contacted Van der Watt and client base”. he told me how desperately he was “I battled, but never really made looking for someone to do the Lowveld, money,” says Elayne Henderson now. and what a wonderful thing it was for “He told me I was going to get 130 anybody that went in with him. stores. It turned out only 30 were “He was going to grow the business active. I never got my percentage of to such an extent that within a year sales back from him, which threw or two he wanted to go public, and the my ledger completely out. Then he people who joined up with him would told me I still owed him a couple of get preferential shares. It sounded so hundred thousand! good.” “When it came to November 2017 Van der Watt said in a note that the he didn’t have the money to pay my area had “over 106 clients on board”. R28,000 commission. I had to borrow National sales, he said, were up 95%, money to pay my rep, pay for my a new lollipop line was producing van, for rent of my storage space and 750 lollipops/minute and there was a insurance. Altogether I lost about “possible buy out from BidVest”. R600,000. “Gavin (who’s 43) went up to see “Pieter van der Watt’s got a them on the Reef (Pieter van der disgusting reputation, which I only Watt is to be found at a rented town- found out afterwards. It was a terrible house at 16 Goukamma Street in experience, especially at my age. You Pretoria’s Erasmuskloof) and wasn’t can’t afford to lose money like that over-impressed,” says his father. “I when it’s part of your retirement. One asked Van der Watt for a list of his day in a phone call Van der Watt lost successful franchisees and he started his temper with me. I’ve never had his nonsense. He said ‘No, the List is Kandyland Swirls a man talk to me like that. I had to secret information.’ He won’t give me

18 that until I’ve paid the R82,000 for He swore at her and called her an the Lowveld. “We went ahead with imbecile and a windgat (smart-arse).” the deal, but it was a disaster. We Noseweek has a picture of Bodine couldn’t sell the sweets and Gavin against a background of Kandyland lost all his money. I’ve spoken to other goodies, but her mother’s fiancé people they’ve conned and they were appealed to us not to publish it as he all in the same boat as I was.” considers the girl’s life is at risk. Coming up for retirement, 60-year- “The VAT number that Pieter van old Sarel Henderson from Meyerton, der Watt was quoting on everything invested R130,000 of his old age kitty was non-existent, not even valid,” to distribute Van der Watt’s lollies continues Jacqui Erasmus. “He would in the Vaal Triangle. He reckons the also use expired stuff, he just changed June 2017 venture cost him around the expiry dates and redistributed it R200,000. to us to sell.” “I put in my own money to keep the Early in 2017 Van der Watt business running,” says Henderson. informed Jacqui that her contract “In the end I just gave up. There was with Kandyland was terminated and no backup and I never made money. she didn’t own the business anymore. “Van der Watt’s List gave 182 “He said he’d had enough of my shit,” customers in Bloemfontein. Several says Jacqui. “The irony of it is that’s turned me away, some swore at me. what he does with everybody. He just They just didn’t want to buy. He (Van says he’s getting complaints, he’s not der Watt) speaks so nicely, but if you satisfied with how you’re distributing don’t perform after three months and representing his brand and he’s he takes your depot back – with no taking it back; that you’ve forfeited refund.” your money. “You want to know about the “None of my suppliers ever biggest con in South Africa?” asks complained to him, he just falls back Jacqui Erasmus , a 49-year-old insur- on that clause in his contract (the ance consultant who in mid 2016 paid above-mentioned 14.4) which says if R540,000 (R390,000 for the licence, you don’t do the job he’ll take your R150,000 for “goodwill and client Kandyland stand franchise back. How can everybody base”) to distribute Kandyland lollies not do it properly? I’m half-a-million in Pretoria. “My daughter has just out of pocket. My lawyer says his finished her BCom, so my thinking Jacqui. “Despite my exclusive contract, contract is airtight, but it’s also the was starting a business for her. Pieter would go to big suppliers in my stupidest contract he’s ever seen in his “My money’s just gone,” says area, like ABC Sweets (the Centurion life. Erasmus. “If I think about it I’m wholesaler) and supply to them. When “Pieter van der Watt takes from physically ill. Nothing Pieter van der I got there they’d say: ‘We got an order three or four people a year, for up to Watt promised ever actually realised, from Kandyland yesterday!’ He took half a million from each. Then after a nothing he said was the truth.” my corporate sales out of my equa- while he says: you’re not doing a suffi- Their agreement required mother tion and still blamed me when I didn’t cient job. Just think about it, it’s a and 23-year-old daughter Bodine to make the targets. lucrative business.” achieve sales of R25,000/week. “It was “He wasn’t happy with Bodine and Pieter van der Watt did not reply roughly R100,000 in sales per month said he didn’t have time for a BCom to a list of questions submitted by and I could never achieve it,” says student buggering up his business. Noseweek. n

Cellar Door open After Hours Monday - Friday 09:00 - 17:00 tasting at Saturday 09:30 - 15:30 96 Winery Road

Cnr of R44 & Winery road, between Somerset West & Stellenbosch | GPS: 34° 1’ 39.06 “ S 18° 49’ 12.83” E Tel +27 (0)21 855 2374 | [email protected] | www.kenforresterwines.com

NOSEWEEK December 2018 19 ANC spooks in VBS deals: The fallout Mutual Bank under scrutiny for corruption. By Jonathan Erasmus

NE OF THE DODGIEST DEALS had “no idea” that the bank – and security background and is active undertaken by the corrupt their deal – had been riddled with in the security industry. Zonkizizwe VBS Mutual Bank was intro- fraud. But one look at the documents Investments has over the years landed duced by an ANC front com- in Noseweek’s possession shows that contracts mainly in security but has pany keen on taking a finder’s that is most unlikely. All the signs also found itself playing dealmaker. feeO plus 10% in shares, in what was were there that VBS was acting as In October 2017`– as exposed by the meant to be a R250-million deal. a rogue bank, but the promise of big Sunday Times in June – he instructed VBS signed up to buy a 26% share commissions and easy money clearly his lawyers to write to fuel distribu- in Insure Group Managers (IGM or proved irresistible. tion company Afric Oil demanding Insure, for short) in December 2016 VBS bought Insure when the bank payment of his 3.5% fee for helping the for R250m. IGM is an independent chairman Matodzi effectively created company secure a R210m loan from financial services company, providing the money needed out of thin air the Public Investment Corporation premium handling services including by simply writing a number in the (PIC). (He subsequently accused debit-order collections, deposits and bank’s books. However, real with- former ANC treasure Zweli Mkhize of premium disbursements on behalf of drawals were then made in favour taking R4,5m of the R7,7m commis- insurers and brokers. of a well connected few. Insure was sion – a claim Mkhize has denied.) The Reserve Bank commissioned even inspired to deposit R18m into Zonkizizwe took a 51% stake in an investigation by advocate Terry a VBS account that offered favour- Dzothe Investments. The other 49% Motau and Werksmans Attorneys. able interest rates. By the time the was owned by Marais through a firm Their report, “The Great Bank Heist”, bank was placed under curatorship called Thabeng High Impact fund which was published in October found in March, only R75m remained in the (Pty) Ltd. that the deal was a sham. falsified account. Insure’s chances of According to Marais, giving VBS On paper, VBS acquired the Insure recovering its deposit are slim. Bank a R250m stake in Insure was stake through its main shareholder Some history: Johannesburg deal- initially “never part of the plan”, as company, Vele Investments, which was maker Paul Marais had been oper- he had wanted to create a company also controlled by the bank’s chairman ating in the property development specialised in agriculture, prop- Tshifhiwa Matodzi. But how the deal and student accommodation arena for erty development and investments, was concluded was anything but legit- several years when he realised that student housing, affordable housing, imate and the signs were all there in order to move on to larger deals he renewable energy, water and sanita- that something was seriously amiss. would need the right BEE partner. tion as well as short-term insurance The involvement of a secretive “ANC He was pointed in the direction of and micro lending. cabal” in the deal had dire real-life Paul Langa, who for years has headed By 2015 they had already advanced consequences: compa- Zonkizizwe Investments (Pty) Ltd – fairly far in purchasing a micro-lender nies were forced to a company effectively owned by the from JSE-listed African Dawn Capital sell assets to cover ANC – and to former spy boss Billy Ltd (Afdawn), called Elite Group, for losses, followed Masetlha: together they formed R20m as part of their overall strategy by suspensions, Dzothe Investments (Pty) Ltd. to become a new player in the market. retrenchments Other members of Dzothe “Charl Cilliers [Insure’s CEO] told and business Investments were former ANC me he was looking for a BEE partner rescue. treasurer Mendi Msimang, with money to inject equity into Yet when former High commissioner Insure,” said Marais, who initially felt the Party men to Mozambique Dikgang Langa & Co would be a good fit. involved were Moopeloa and KwaZulu-Natal He said it was during negotiations contacted by political operator Alex Mmethi. with VBS, around June 2016, when Noseweek, they Dealmaker Marais was the the bank’s CEO Andile Ramavhunga claimed they CEO. undertook (on chairman Matodzi’s Langa is no ordi- authority) to make a R120m facility nary BEE available to Dzothe for student accom- Tshifhiwa Matodzi player. He modation, that it occurred to them to has a offer the bank the Insure deal.

20 “At that point Dzothe was keen on buying into Insure, but Matodzi said we should give Insure to him and we would just make the commission,” said Marais. He added that Paul Langa (the ANC’s investment man) dealt with VBS and had introduced Insure to the bank, hoping to score a cool R5m for doing very little. They also seemed content to keep it all verbal and off the books. When nothing was paid over by April 2017 a Dzothe directors’ meeting was called at Langa’s Zonkizizwe Investments office at 311 Surrey Park, Randburg. The minutes of the meeting show that Marais inquired about the “R5m commission payment to Dzothe Investments as promised by the VBS chairman”. It was noted that Langa Billy Masetlha said the payment should have been made on 22 April 2017. Marais also asked what had become yield handsome dividends over time”. In addition, despite knowing he was of “the 10% share allocation of Insure He then went on to say they wanted dealing with a crooked bank, he had [shares] to Dzothe Investments to “discuss a referral fee of at least 2% nevertheless deposited company following the successful conclusion of for the Insure transaction”. funds into the bank. Insure is now the Insure Transaction”. “We are of a view that since the under curatorship, owing various of In the minutes it is recorded that transaction was initially signed its clients huge sums: Santam alone “Masetlha explained [that] it was [between] Dzothe Investments and is reportedly owed R1.2bn in unpaid agreed by both parties that an addi- Insure, your request to proceed with premiums. tional R5m will be paid to Dzothe the transaction on behalf of VBS was Dzothe’s deal with Afdawn collapsed Investments.” It is noted that the a gesture enough to suggest we have as VBS failed to put up the funding R5m commission was “a verbal under- your interest at heart. Dzothe has it had undertaken to provide. Afdawn taking between the chairman of VBS, since agreed and decided on the back had to sell other assets as it had a Langa and Masetlha”. There was of your request not to process the deal looming tax bill that needed to be nothing in writing – as was the case further, but to hand the investment settled. for the alleged 10% in Insure shares over to VBS.”. But bizarrely, when Noseweek that Dzothe had been promised. The Dzothe directors then wished contacted Langa for his comments on It is also recorded in the minutes to “propose and discuss” the acquisi- the matter he denied any involvement that “Masetlha emphasised that the tion of a short-term insurance broker whatsoever, claiming Marais had done funds [still] had to be sourced and and for Insure to assist in setting it all the work and he had “no influ- we had to allow the chairman of VBS up, he wrote, adding that VBS should ence”. He claimed documents verified reasonable time to source the funds”. consider “opening up a space for by Noseweek had been falsified. Which raises the obvious question: Dzothe to have a stake in Insure”. In a long telephonic rant – replete If the bank claimed it could provide The sought-after 2% referral fee with claims that Afrikaners are a facility of R120m, why could it not never materialised. behind a conspiracy targeting black find R5m? Eventually, on 1 November 2017 Jan African people – he said he “doesn’t None of the men involved could have van der Walt – who told Noseweek that know Billy [Masetlha]”, that he never been in any doubt that everything was he was the “bookkeeper” for Dzothe sat in any board meetings held at not straight and true at VBS Bank. Investments and also the chairman his office concerning Dzothe and Yet they pressed on. of Marais’s company Thabang High that “Afrikaners can do what they Under “Action to be taken” it is Impact Fund (Pty) Ltd – sent a letter want”. He then accused the media of recorded: “Langa to draft a letter to to Matodzi demanding the R5m “insulting” former president Jacob the VBS chairman” with the letter to commission and the “10% shares of Zuma. be vetted by Marais and Masetlha. Insure promised to Dzothe”. Billy Masetlha accused this jour- The letter was sent the following There was no response. nalist of being “abusive”. Just how is day to Matodzi. This was the first Despite Dzothe’s being packed with unclear. Noseweek had phoned him time that anything related to the people who claimed to understand without success. He returned the deals concluded between them was business and who touted their deal- call, which was missed, and when recorded in writing. Langa expressed making ability, it all ended in multiple Noseweek phoned him back, he made his company’s “congratulations” on fallouts. it clear he would not answer calls the bank’s purchase of a major stake Insure’s Celliers was suspended from this number again, then hung in Insure, adding they could “only after he was found to have pocketed up. We sent him an SMS but he failed hope and believe the acquisition will R12m from the sale of shares to VBS. to respond. n

NOSEWEEK December 2018 21 Making the diference

Professor Mamokgethi Phakeng weighs in on her role as UCT Vice-Chancellor and the challenges faced so far. By Sue Segar

ORMER UCT VICE-CHANCELLOR Max Price – now said to be job-hunting in London – will be largely remembered for the way he dealt with the turbu- lentF #FeesMustFall years on campus. His successor, Professor Mamokgethi Phakeng, hopes to shape the univer- sity “in a completely different way”. Interviewed in her office on UCT’s lower campus, Phakeng was firm that she did not want to compare herself with Price, saying “It’s not my busi- ness to assess my predecessors”. However, the new VC later on alluded to “a number of things” she inherited which she now sees as her challenges. Phakeng said one of the first things she did after her appointment as Vice- Chancellor of UCT in July was to meet as many different groupings of students as possible “so that I under- stand where people come from”. “I had meetings with different Mamokgethi Phakeng student formations: Sasco, Daso, EFF, SAUJS, Pasma and the Palestinian why they were still in our residences who are registered and need accommo- Solidarity Forum. [The SRC is when they are not UCT students. I dation. You must go home.’ So, there are now dominated by the EFF group.] discovered that they are our former a lot of things I inherited. ” I wanted to meet them all. I also met students who are currently not regis- A far less diplomatic critic of Max with labour unions, to hear about tered – many of them because they Price in recent months, however, has their issues are. I felt I should intro- have been academically excluded and been the fiery and vocal UCT Emeritus duce myself and explain how I work, a few because of outstanding debts. Professor of 40 years’ service, Tim because I know there’ll be a time when “My style is not to always start with Crowe. In a scathing blog earlier this they are not happy about my decisions the punitive. I spoke to these students year, he gave Price two-out-of-ten for – whether students or workers. I felt and called up their marks. One had his management of UCT. He slammed it important that we meet now, when finished her master’s, but without full the former vice-chancellor for focusing we are not fighting, so we can tell funding, so she still owed the univer- his efforts on a policy of “learning to each other what we stand for and can sity about R60,000. However, she has engage with fallist-generated chaos” attend to issues that are bubbling.” a bursary to do her PhD but because instead of looking for a successor to his With slightly raised eyebrows to she had not completed paying for her ten-year tenure. He said Phakeng had demonstrate another thing she inher- master’s, her funding for the PhD inherited a “Priceful” UCT which was ited, Phakeng continued: “Those could not kick in. “declining in international status”. weren’t the only people I met. In my “Some cases are genuine and the “If she emulates Price and ‘negoti- first week here, I noticed there was a issues resolvable – but in the case of ates’ only with ‘fallists’, what will VC group of students who were not regis- some others, I said to them: ‘You say Phakeng do when they break the law tered but were staying in residence. you care for your fellow students… but when their demands are not met?” I wanted to know who they were and you are occupying rooms for students wrote Crowe.

22 In January last year, Phakeng was “Both are important because they Citing her own experience, Prof appointed as UCT’s Deputy Vice- bring the critical mass, but they are Phakeng recalled an experience at Chancellor (Research and Inter- not sufficient for transformation. In Wits University in the late 1980s after nationalisation). Prior to that she spent fact, they create a sense that you bring graduating from the then-University five years as Deputy Vice-Chancellor people into a space and you expect of Bophuthatswana. She remembered of Research and Innovation at the them to be grateful and assimilate and “sitting in an honours class and raising University of South Africa (Unisa). that’s precisely the contestation that a hand to say something and just being Some who frequent the corridors brought 2015; there was this sense ignored, while white students spoke of UCT have noted a bit of a person- that nothing had changed. My view is without even raising their hands”. ality cult growing around the woman that transformation is not just about “Six months later, I realised I hadn’t who has tattoos, who shared a desk at equity of access, which is important said anything in that class. I definitely school with disgraced former Eskom but not sufficient. We should strive for had this identity of being someone chief executive Brian Molefe, who still equity of participation and success just who was not so smart. I see so much of prefers to clean her own house and as we have driven equity of access. myself in young black students. I know who turned down her own inaugura- what it means when nobody points tion ceremony. (“Why should so much at you in class, so you have to learn money be spent on telling me how I managed to find different ways of behaviour on campus, special I am when students are strug- to say to yourself ‘this doesn’t work’ gling to graduate?”). and to do something else. If you don’t Prof Phakeng has set up the Vice- a way... but I am participate in class, you don’t properly Chancellor’s Student Support Fund become part of the learning and your through which she gives 10% of her learning is limited. I managed to find salary to help struggling students. highly aware that a way… but I am highly aware that And it is said that, without fanfare, many students don’t find that way. she called up students, individually, “On many campuses in this country, who were victimised by fallists during many students there is an institutional culture that exams last year, to hear their stories. can result in the total silencing of a Although Prof Phakeng’s tenure student who may have been outspoken so far has been short, she has not don’t find that way. and bubbly at high school – all because managed to dodge controversy. She was they are expected to be something slammed by students for insinuating “We can do this by recognising else. Maybe their English is not good that stress from the #FeesMustFall that, while those who are previ- enough, maybe they speak with a movement had contributed to the ously disadvantaged have the poten- particular accent, maybe it’s the first suicide earlier this year of the Dean tial to be successful, they need extra time they find themselves in an envi- of Health Sciences, Professor Bongani or special support so they, too, can ronment where they hear five accents Mayosi. “I never said ‘fallist’ students achieve excellence. For example, ring- from all over the world, let alone just were responsible… My relationship fenced funding for previously disad- being surrounded by white people, with students has never broken down.” vantaged researchers; post-doctoral something they are not accustomed to. Recently the VC tweeted congratu- opportunities for them to gain inter- “At university, your intellectual lations to student Masixole Mlandu national experience, and mentorship ability is important but it is not the on his Honours project which argues programmes that recognise them as only thing that makes you succeed. It that South Africa is a settler-colonial bringing value to the university and is crucial for a university to take into society built and maintained through not as being under-prepared. account not only levels of language and conquest – and in which he ended his Phakeng continued: “While some language proficiency but also culture acknowledgements with the struggle celebrate the achievements of trans- and ways of being in different cultures. slogan “One settler, one bullet!” formation in the last years, we haven’t Many students have had to realise, for She tweeted: “Congratulations dear actually changed the complexion and instance, that politeness works differ- son on completing this paper! I am the composition of the professoriate. ently in the university environment. proud of you! Way more than you can It is still largely male and mainly Students almost have to break their imagine! Well done!” Later, in a press white. People will more than likely say own cultural rules and ways of being statement, she distanced herself “from that no black people met the criteria. and be something else. the threats of violence contained in Well, in my view, we haven’t worked “I relate totally when students say the acknowledgements section of the at enabling them to succeed. They that when they go home they are no dissertation”, saying she “could never were expected to just assimilate and longer the same. They have to embrace be proud of promises of bullets”. but succeed. What has not been addressed ways of surviving on campus. But when was proud of Mlandu’s hard work. is that they are coming to a different they go home, they have to change Although a lot of work had gone into space – culturally and intellectually. again because certain behaviours are transforming UCT over the past ten “Under my watch, we are going to disrespectful. They are managing two years, it was not enough, which gave be driving transformation that will contexts so they are often not compe- rise to the #FeesMustFall movement on deliver on equity of participation and tent at either. Part of decolonising a campus, said the VC. Transformation equity of success so that in future university, in my view, is to make sure efforts had been mainly focused on when we call up excellence, it doesn’t that it shouldn’t just be one way of student access (through financial aid) come up only as white and mainly being that is valued... it’s about insti- and employment equity. male. It looks as diverse as we are. ” tutional culture and inclusivity.

NOSEWEEK December 2018 23 “I see young students all the time down that way.” funds for the university, so I some- who sincerely believe that getting Prof Phakeng refutes the view that, times meet with high-profile people a degree here will change not only by driving transformation one has to with truckloads of money. When you their life but their whole family’s life. give up excellence. “The two are inter- have a working-class background, you I see students who want to succeed dependent. We have to drive trans- don’t even know what kind of smalltalk but I can see that sometimes they are formation with integrity so that we those people do. You walk into a room scared. What if they don’t make it and don’t just appoint people because they and immediately know that people are have to go back to Limpopo without are black but recruit them because looking at you and wondering about a degree? I remember having those they bring a particular strength to your capability. It used to happen a lot nightmares. I’d tell myself I can’t go the space. And when they come to the – but not so much since I became VC. back home without the degree after space, you create an enabling environ- “When I meet new people I always four years – I’ve got to get this. It feels ment for them to achieve excellence. hope they’ve heard some of my like it is your once-in-a-lifetime oppor- “With our history, even people who speeches… that they follow me on tunity and you have to make it work. come to the space with the same quali- social media and have a sense of who I “I recently met with a student fications and experience, do not come am. I walk into a space with baggage. from UCT who is starting a PhD into it equally, because this space “There are multiple boundaries you in Cambridge after completing his privileges a particular group of our have to go beyond in this space when master’s there. He’s from a very poor society, and people from another side you drive transformation if you are background in Khayelitsha. He told have to cross many boundaries – not from a disadvantaged background and me his overriding feeling is that he’ll only racial boundaries – but an inter- you are a small black woman.” somehow mess up and lose everything. sectional set of boundaries including Prof Phakeng’s vision is all about I found it interesting because I still gender and social-class boundaries. securing a sustainable future for UCT. feel that way myself. I have moments, “When you’re in the privileged group “We must do transformation with even in this position, where I have that you don’t often think of the hurdles integrity, recognising people not by feeling that it’s not really yours, you others have to go through. But, coming race, but because of the strengths they can lose it all tomorrow. This feeling from a low socio-economic background bring to the institution. We should can be crippling. That’s why I talk myself, I know that when I get into create an environment that enables closely with students, to affirm them.” spaces with all my qualifications and everybody to be excellent. We can Phakeng was open about the fact experience, I often face intimidating only do that if we believe that, actu- that she carries tablets for anxiety and situations that have nothing to do ally, everybody can achieve excellence. depression in her handbag. “I got the with my credentials, but everything to The challenge is: how to make that prescription at a time in my life where do with the fact that I don’t have the happen. The figures for success show I felt I was sinking into a dark hole. I’d cultural capital of the space I am in. there’s a big gap between black and rather take a tablet than let my life go “Part of what I have to do is raise white students. Why? All our students, Dedication to education AMOKGETHI PHAKENG WAS “I was five when my mother went Phakeng achieved a BA in Pure born in Eastwood, Preto- back to school,” said Phakeng. “We Mathematics, and then attended Wits ria in 1966 and grew up in have photographs of her in her school where she earned both an MSc followed Ga-Rankuwa, where she uniform, with all the other younger by a PhD in Mathematics Education. experienced what it was pupils. All the neighbours came to Phakeng was the first black woman likeM to walk long distances to school make speeches and wish her well.” in South Africa to obtain a PhD in and to study under a tree. Later, at Now widowed, her mother still lives Maths Education. Thuto Thebe Middle School in Ga- in the four-roomed house of Phakeng’s She worked as Professor Extra- Rankuwa, she sat next to former childhood. “My dad used to call himself ordinaire of Tshwane University of Eskom boss Brian Molefe, who was ‘a poor, but proud man’. He said we Technology and was an Honorary “clever, and good at debating”. must never stand at the back of the Professor at Wits, before being Her parents, Frank and Wendy row because we were poor, and rather appointed Executive Dean of the Mmutlana, despite being poor, had go hungry than accept crumbs. He told College of Science, Engineering and high expectations of their three chil- everyone we were the smartest kids in Technology at the University of South dren. Frank was a “smart, funny” man our township – which was nonsense! Africa in 2008. She was promoted to who was one of the first black radio He told us we were born gifted and we serve as vice principal of Research and announcers at the SABC and also acted must be the best in the world.” Innovation at Unisa in 2011 and joined in radio plays on Radio Setswana. The young Phakeng loved math- UCT in 2016, working as Deputy Wendy worked in factories in Roslyn ematics at school – and still doesn’t Vice-Chancellor for Research and near Ga-rankuwa and was also a quite understand people who are afraid Internationalisation. domestic worker before returning to of maths. “I missed the memo that said Phakeng has served on several school to complete Grade Nine so that maths was hard!” boards and received numerous awards, she could study for her primary teach- At the University of North-West including the Order of the Baobab er’s certificate and work as a teacher. (then University of Bophuthatswana) (Silver) for her excellent contribution

24 irrespective of race, have to meet the government’s offer of free education It was clear that former presi- same academic standards when they is sustainable – and whether, five dent Jacob Zuma’s promise of free are admitted to UCT, so these students years from now, that will happen. The undergraduate education was on come in at the same level academically. second thing that bothers me is the her mind and that she was aware “I am not saying students should be way people still talk about ‘black’ and her leadership would be scruti- passed without working but we have ‘white’ universities – even though it nised when the university deter- to ask why it is that so many black is more than 20 years after 1994. It mines its fee increases soon. “We students are dropping out; why is it makes black people feel that UCT is are in the tricky situation of that black students are not succeeding not theirs – and it really bugs me. This waiting for the Department of Higher as well as their white counterparts? is a public university and every South Education. Part of it is institutional culture, and African should feel these are their “In 2016, the president announced perhaps part is cultural capital. When universities as much as Fort Hare. zero fee increments and then last you come to a university, intellectual “The higher education sector needs year the department announced ability is important but it is not the to examine its positioning in the a percentage… We don’t want to only thing that makes you succeed.” world. The tendency to expect all announce fee increments before the Prof Phakeng denied there had been universities to be the same is prob- department. We have to wait. We an exodus of top academics from UCT lematic – as though Walter Sisulu know what would be ideal but we since #FeesMustFall. “It’s amazing [University of Technology] won’t be don’t want to announce anything and that some people call it an exodus,” good enough until it looks like UCT. then get on to a collision course. she said, pulling out a few graphs to We need an honest conversation that “It’s challenging because this demonstrate that is not the case. “The looks at the future; that ensures we is not traditionally how universi- report (on academics leaving) has don’t destroy the strengths we have ties do it; the government does not been useful because, first, it shows so that 20 years from now we want traditionally dictate fees. But since that black people are not resigning as to redo it. #FeesMustFall and the intervention much as white people and also that the “A good example is how technical of government and free education, numbers are not huge. colleges, teacher colleges and nursing the state has become more involved “We seem to be better at drawing colleges run by the government were in setting fee increments. and retaining African academic staff, dealt with. Now we realise it was a “When you increase fees, in a which is good, unlike in the past. We mistake to shut them. We need these way you increase the money you have lost some senior staff but I feel institutions and they don’t all need to expect from government in fee-free it’s been blown out of proportion. be the same. There are diverse needs education. There are also issues of What disturbs her most about in this country. We need to differen- autonomy at stake. We have to wait higher education in South Africa,? tiate to make sure the 26 universities for the announcement and manage it “Obviously I’m concerned that the serve the country’s diverse needs.” from there. It’s tricky.” n in the field of science and representing not want to discuss her children in South Africa on the international the interview. stage through outstanding research. A Christian, Phakeng has one In 2013 she received the CEO tattoo on each arm – the word Magazine award for being the most “forgive” on her right arm and influential woman in education and “believe” on her left. She gets up at training in South Africa. In 2011 she 2am daily and hits her desk by 5am received the National Science and at the latest. Technology Forum award for being When not working, she enjoys the most outstanding Senior Black hiking, going to gym, travelling with Female Researcher. In 2006, she was her husband, and reading. recognised by the National Research People who have influenced her Foundation as one of the Top Women are her “ghettofabulous” mentor, Jill in Research. She has published over Adler, a professor of Mathematics 80 research papers and four edited Mamokgethi Phakeng Education at Wits, who was Phakeng’s volumes, which have been cited more supervisor for her master’s. than 1,174 times. She is a National Phakeng was married to Richard “She took an interest in me early Research Foundation-rated scientist, Setati for 19 years and is now married on, channelled me and believed in meaning she has notable international to Madimetja Phakeng, an advocate me. She made me understand the recognition. who heads the Takeover Regulation business of academia and made Phakeng is the founder of the non- Panel, which deals with mergers and it an appealing prospect. She was profit organisation Adopt-a-Learner, takeovers on the Johannesburg Stock generous, and never worried that I which supports excellence in maths Exchange. The couple divide their time might one day be bigger than her. and science in black schools. She also between Cape Town and Johannesburg. We remain in close touch. She’s like supports the Thusanani Foundation, Phakeng has five adult children, my Jewish mother.” an NPO that bridges the educational one of whom died in a car accident Phakeng admires Indian author information gap between rural and earlier this year. “We are one man Arundathi Roy and loves reading urban high schools. down,” she said, adding that she did Malcolm Gladwell. n

NOSEWEEK December 2018 25 From another country The super typhoon American media did not notice. By Anita Hofschneider

HEN MY DAD CALLED, AT 4AM to see this,” Adriana Cotero, a local news- an agreement establishing the common- his time, I knew the storm caster says. “There needs to be interna- wealth, the pact didn’t even make front- was bad. He was calling tional media attention on this. We’re so page news. from Saipan, part of the far away, people don’t know who we are Only 55,000 people live in the US Commonwealth of the – it’s sad.” Northern Mariana Islands NorthernW Mariana Islands in the west- Juanita Mendiola, a resident of Tinian “American news organisations tend to ern Pacific. The power had been out for who hid in her bathroom to survive Yutu, treat storms in the Pacific as developing- nearly 12 hours, the wind was howling, says that the relative lack of coverage is world disasters – that is to say, news- and he couldn’t sleep. He said it felt like painful. “It feels that we have to do this worthy only when there’s truly over- the wind was trying to suck him out of alone,” she says. “The world is kind of whelming devastation,” Bruce Shapiro, the house. silent.” executive director of the Dart Centre for He was calling from a landline – there Not many people have heard of the Journalism and Trauma at Columbia was no cell service – wanting to know Northern Mariana Islands, made up of University, explains. Plus, “Most news what was going on. As I googled satellite 14 islands including Saipan and Tinian. directors can’t point to the Northern images, I realised just how bad the situ- The islands – home to the indigenous Marianas on a map.” ation was, even for a place that’s used Chamorro people – are at least a day by One uninhabited island has been used plane from the mainland, and flights are to getting slammed by violent weather. by the US Navy as a bombing range I soon learned that this was a super- expensive. From Tokyo, however, they since 1971; recently, the Navy sought to tempest, called Typhoon Yutu, the most are only about a three-hour plane ride, expand training on more islands. The powerful storm on earth this year, and which made the islands key battle sites commonwealth’s national security value the worst in the US since 1935. during World War II; the Enola Gay The winds tore roofs off homes and (Boeing B-29 Superfortress bomber) has grown with the rise of China and levelled concrete power poles. Families took off from Tinian to bomb Hiroshima. threat of North Korea. huddled together in hallways, closets, The clear turquoise lagoons are still Preparing for and rebounding from and bathrooms to escape falling furni- littered with sunken tanks from the large typhoons has become a part of ture and flying debris. Concrete walls American invasion. local culture in the Northern Mariana shook and trees flew through windows. The last territory to join the US – Islands, a rite of passage for every gener- When thousands of people emerged birthright citizenship was established ation. But studies suggest that climate to assess the damage, they saw what in 1986 – the Northern Mariana Islands change will continue to bring more looked like a war zone. got a seat in Congress in 2008, but it’s frequent and intense storms. “What’s Despite the widespread destruction, for a non-voting delegate. People born happened to the Marianas will happen not a single national news crew was on there are US citizens again – here and around the world,” the ground to document it. The Northern Mariana Islands have Tina Sablan, a candidate for the islands’ A humanitarian crisis is unfolding: almost always been absent from the legislature, says. “Everyone should be tens of thousands of people are expected national conversation. In 1975, for paying attention.” to go months without electricity in the instance, when officials from the US and l From Columbia Journalism Review, islands’ unforgiving heat. “People need the Northern Mariana Islands signed 5 November 2018. n

26 From another country Long-suppressed voices in Malaysia finally finding space in the country’s school textbooks. By Skot Thayer

IFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE THE START Across the South China Sea, far from during the Malayan Emergency. When of the discussion forum titled the glass and steel towers of Kuala Reza responded that there was space “Should We Rewrite Our His- Lumpur and peninsular Malaysia’s for multiple perspectives, one protester tory Textbooks?” at the Chi- developed infrastructure, the states shouted, “We don’t need that perspective nese Assembly Hall in Kuala of Sabah and Sarawak demand their here!” Lumpur,F Malaysia, an angry attendee own historical reckoning. Under the Sean Long of Kuala Lumpur, whose waved his fists and accused panelist 1963 Malaysia Agreement, (MA63) father served in the Special Branch of Fahmi Reza, an activist and artist, of Sabah and Sarawak joined the the Royal Malaysian Police, becomes promoting “evil” communism. Dressed peninsula as one nation. Eastern incensed when asked about the possi- in a beret and punk-pin-bedecked mil- Malaysia acquired special rights, inc- bility of his children reading in their itary jacket, Reza tried to placate the luding freedom of religion and civil textbooks about the role of communists angry man and his friends. The panel, autonomy. But school textbooks have in securing Malaysia’s independence. Reza said, was only arguing that mul- downplayed this history, say regional “Maybe [the communists] were good tiple perspectives needed to be heard. leaders. guys back then, fighting against the For decades, hearing multiple per- The new Malaysian government British,” Long says, but after recounting spectives wasn’t an option in Malaysia. has promised a revision of the fourth- the way guerrillas assassinated his Until earlier this year, the country had grade history textbook that critics father’s boss, he adds: “They’re all been under the political yoke of a single argue has particularly problematic fuckers!” party – the right-wing United Malays political, religious and regional biases. But those who say that their histories National Organisation (Umno) – for 61 Five out of 10 chapters, for example, have long been suppressed can’t wait for years. Students were taught a single, deal with Islamic history. Textbooks changes to the textbooks so that future straitjacketed history of the country. for other grades are also under scru- generations learn a more complex and Now that’s changing after 93-year- tiny. Critics have argued, for instance, complete story about their country, old former Prime Minister Mahathir that the second-grade history textbook and appreciate the injustice that has Mohamad’s Pakatan Harapan party underplays the role of Yap Ah Loy, the lingered. ousted the Umno-led government Chinese-origin administrator widely Though the states of eastern of incumbent leader Najib Razak’s credited with helping turn Kuala Lum- Malaysia produce 60% of the country’s Barisan Nasional coalition. pur into a major commercial centre. petroleum, Sabah and Sarawak receive Scholars and minority ethnic groups Adding nuances and layers to a histor- only 5% of the royalties. That’s a are seeking a revision of history books ical narrative that has dominated a flagrant violation of the 1963 Malaysia to acknowledge the central role that country for decades isn’t easy – not even Agreement, argue MA63 activists. Hinduism and Buddhism played with a government willing to play ball. The theories of Malay historian Syed in early Malay kingdoms The panel that Reza spoke on was Naquib al-Attas also heavily influ- – but which the country part of a three-day conference in July, ence the country’s history textbooks. has long ignored, focusing “A People’s History of the Malayan Al-Attas’s work claims that Islam instead on Islam’s contri- Emergency”. Communism was introduced rationality to the cultures butions. Seventy years ago, not even mentioned during Reza’s of the Malay world and insists Islam British colonial authori- panel. “liberated” the people from a kind ties declared a state of “What the panelists were of “dark ages” of pagan, animistic, emergency in the colony focusing on was how the Hindu-Buddhist traditions. “That’s of Malaya to crush history textbooks tell only dangerous,” says Rasid. “It teaches kids demands for inde- one version of the story,” that Malaysia was always Islamic.” pendence from the says Imran Rasid, who For two generations, post-independ- local communist moderated the panel. ence politics was predominantly about party and other leftist During the discus- the Umno. But the political change has groups. In post-elec- sion, the disrupters kept unleashed long-repressed voices that tion Malaysia, leftist accusing Reza and his are reshaping how the country thinks groups and activists fellow panelist, lawyer and about its past. Under a nonagenarian, want a reassessment of advocate Fadiah Nadwa Malaysia is on its way to gifting a that historic role in the Fikri, of dishonouring young generation a new history. country’s modern inde- former members of the l First published on www.ozy.com pendence struggle. Fahmi Reza army and police who fought on 18 October 2018 n

NOSEWEEK December 2018 27 Books MICHIEL HEYNS

Facts. Redefining the framework of knowledge

HE SUBTITLE TO HANS ROSLING’S He opens his book with irrelevant to the many book modestly suggests that “we” a questionnaire for the millions of people who are wrong (The reasons we are reader to test his or her have not benefited by wrong about the world – and why perception of the state the undeniable progress things are better than you think) of the world. He and his in material welfare of so butT the rest of the book makes it clear team have subjected many more other people. that some people – eg Hans Rosling – are nearly 12,000 people But Hans Rosling is no less wrong than others. Thus he recounts, in 14 countries, by and M’Choakumchild, and with evident glee, his besting of a Danish large highly skilled and he has anticipated that journalist in a television interview. educated people, to these objection: “My guess is “Once more I explain that ‘poor questions: they scored you feel that me saying developing countries’ no longer exist on average two correct the world is getting as a distinct group. That there is no answers out of 12. (Your better is like me telling gap. Today most people live in middle- reviewer scored four out you that everything is income countries… ‘And what do you of 12.) In other words, fine, or that you should base that knowledge on?’ continued we are indeed inclined look away from those the journalist in an obvious attempt to see the world as a problems and pretend to be provocative. And he succeeded. I darker place than in fact FACTFULNESS they don’t exist”. couldn’t help getting irritated and my (statistically!) it is, and by Hans Rosling Indeed. Rosling has agitation showed in my voice and my the rest of Rosling’s book (Flatiron Books) been a celebrated words: ‘I use normal statistics that are is an attempt to explain speaker at high level compiled by the World Bank and the why this should be so: a meetings such as the UN. This is not controversial. The facts lack of “factfulness” in our thinking. World Economic Forum at Davos and are not up for discussion. I am right and Initially, reading this book, I was TED, and it would be easy to dismiss you are wrong.” reminded of Charles Dickens’s 1854 him as the rich people’s darling expert Rosling is here attacking what he novel Hard Times, and his satire on on poverty, telling the Davos crowd that calls the “Gap instinct”, which “creates what he called “stutterings”. Here is everything is for the best in the best of a picture in people’s heads of a world Sissy, the daughter of a circus rider, all possible worlds. But the fact (!) is that split into two kinds of countries or two explaining her “mistakes” in Mr Rosling is no ivory-tower statistician: kinds of people: rich versus poor.” This M’Choakumchild’s “fact-based” school- he did train as a statistician, but also instinct is one of the ten that he identi- room to Louisa Gradgrind: as a physician, and was district medical fies as lying at the root of our “unfactful” “Then Mr M’Choakumchild said he officer in Mozambique for several years. thinking. He proposes, instead of the would try me again. And he said, ‘This He has dealt at first hand with some “gap” model, a more flexible and versa- schoolroom is an immense town, and of the worst cases of extreme poverty; tile “four-level framework” based on in it there are a million of inhabitants, his thesis is simply “that things can a daily income of respectively $1, $4, and only five-and-twenty are starved be both bad and better”. Bad as things $16 and $64. Armed with a dizzying to death in the streets, in the course are, they are better than they were; or, array of statistics and a series of illus- of a year. What is your remark on that conversely, though things are getting trative charts, he sets out to show proportion?’ And my remark was – for better, they are still pretty bad. that, yes, “things are better than you I couldn’t think of a better one – that Rosling also acknowledges the limi- think”. Statistically “most people live I thought it must be just as hard upon tations of statistics: “The world cannot in middle-income countries”, that is, those who were starved, whether the be understood without numbers. levels 2 and 3 of the 4 levels. (Rosling others were a million, or a million And it cannot be understood with does, incidentally, concede that in South million. And that was wrong, too. numbers alone.” It would perhaps have Africa under apartheid, “The gap story “Of course it was. been useful if he had more explicitly of separate groups was absolutely rele- “Then Mr M’Choakumchild said he addressed a non-numerical under- vant. But apartheid was very unusual”.) would try me once more. And he said, standing of the world; but for that he Rosling’s aim is twofold: firstly, as ‘Here are the stutterings’. would have had to be a novelist like his subtitle suggests, to convince us “‘Statistics,’ said Louisa.” Dickens. As it stands, this is a some- that things are better than we might Reading Rosling’s book, I found times infuriating but always fasci- think; but also, crucially, to analyse myself thinking, perhaps like Sissy nating and thought-provoking book, what habits of mind (the ten instincts) and the Danish journalist, that these written in an extremely engaging style. incline us to this dark view of the world. no doubt accurate statistics are simply Buy it, test yourself and be humbled. n

28 Letter from Umjindi BHEKI MASHILE

Be Merry. Going green for the festive period

ORGET ABOUT MY ARTIFICIAL XMAS reps in Parliament. And since we are two amigos. tree this festive season; instead talking about marijuana, the lame-ass Come to think of it, Gololo would I will be decorating one of my comment most certainly does not apply have been the kind of progressive dagga trees in celebration of the to the late Inkatha Parliamentarian, Parliamentarian to lobby for what this great gift that the numerous Ambrosini – may he rest in peace. column is ultimately about: the full fatherF XMasses of the Constitutional So why do I refer to our parliamentar- decriminalisation of cannabis. Court have given us with the decrimi- ians as “lame-ass”? Well, for the life of On second thoughts I don’t think nalisation of the funky weed, albeit only me I have never heard of a parliamen- my amigo would have a chance in for “private use”. tarian lobbying for a particular initia- hell passing it through the party first Now herein is the monumental tive, except, of course, the late “great” because I can bet my first-born child problem. Limiting this legalisation Mario Oriani-Ambrosini. Though I have that many a man in the ANC lot would to only private use is certainly a step watched many of the SABC’s Parliament most probably say, “Rather put your forward but a step that nonetheless broadcasts; never ever have I seen energy into getting us free cigars from misses the bigger picture – which is, of anything on there, either, of what I long the friends you made in Cuba. After all course, its commercial opportunities. So, ago concluded our Parliamentarians are why do you think we sent you there? now our lawmakers need to go all the worth. Don’t forget that you are a comrade way and just simply fully decriminalise I once brought this up with a former first, amigo!” (Soft mumbles heard that the stuff once and for all. Parliamentarian Chris Gololo (ANC), he must be getting this marijuana thing Most countries of the world have who hails from Barberton and his from that dreadlocked journalist amigo already done so for both the recrea- response was: “I would love to, but we of his in Barberton). tional variety and the medicinal. are constrained by party rules.” For the record, this dreadlocked jour- Now get this, Nosey ones: I am sure “Not an acceptable answer,” I said, nalist does not smoke the spliff, though I that those of you who keep up with adding, “then lobby the party first”. He did have an interesting experience from current affairs are aware of the reports laughed and said, “Mi amigo por favor getting a “contact high” from the stuff – that Pepsico and Coca-Cola have joined ustedes comprende muy bien este muy what the docs would describe as passive forces to develop a marijuana based difficil” (translation of my bad Spanish smoking. The guitarist in my high drink. Instead of being told to have a – “my friend, please, you understand school rock band liked to have a toke or coke and a smile we will be told to drink very well this is very diffi- two before we hit the stage. Well, as lead a “spliff” and chill. cult”). singer and bass player it goes without So, is there a problem with this? Yes Gololo spent a good saying I always had a tough task. We and no. First, no kudos to Pepsico and deal of his exile years opened with The Police’s hit Roxanne. Coca-Cola for having the foresight to in Cuba and I studied Unfortunately I couldn’t move beyond see not only the commercial value Spanish in the US the intro which I kept repeating over here but the medicinal as well. so we have that and over until the drummer threw a Certainly this beverage should offer linguistic bond stick at my head and yelled, “Hey idiot, better health benefits than their despite the over- move on to the next verse. I couldn’t, I current offerings of caffeine- and whelming respect was high as a kite. The next time the sugar-laden Coke and Pepsi. we have for each guitarist took a toke I stayed as far Second, yes, I have a problem other’s contri- away as possible. No more contact highs with Pepsico and Coca-Cola butions in for me. And it is highly unlikely that developing this drink; well our respective those who don’t smoke it already will not actuality a problem, professions. I start to do so. rather jealousy instead. would say to In South Africa we have been And, mind you, while him, “If only consumed with the so-called negative it is only jealousy I have the ANC had effects of recreational cannabis. We need towards these two more cadres to throw this mindset out the window soft-drink giants, I like you” and and follow the lead of Pepsico and Coca- do have a monu- he would recip- Cola – and most of the American States mental problem rocate: “If only along with many other countries. with our backward every community So, please Parliamentarians, the African governments, had a publishing/ cannabis crop has tremendous commer- and in particular our editor like you.” Oh cial and medicinal value so it’s time to lame-ass so-called yeah! just call us the wake up and smell the ganja. n

NOSEWEEK December 2018 29 Last Word HAROLD STRACHAN

Taxi! The road most travelled

ELL I’M TOLD THE TAXI INDUSTRY water dribbles on the floor. A couple is the most vital in Durbs, of security men snooze outside in the excepting perhaps the sun. There seems to be no insecurity criminal; we can’t be sure this happy morn, they don’t seem to about crime of course since mind what’s going on inside. nobodyW actually knows how much of So this is one of your happy days? it there is out there, hey, how can you say I to Lean Young Man. Just a little have statistics about an industry that bit happy so far, says he, but it’s just sets out to be undetectable? So just started. I am making myself nice and perhaps crime’s the real number one. clean then I can go and pinch a pie Be that as it may, they sure enough at Pick n Pay for breakfast and I’ll make a potent combination, they sure be proper happy. What! say I, and if as hell sent tottering our nice old My- they catch you? No, he replies, I know nah bus service down here in eThek- the security guard there, he’s my wini-on-Sea. In the inner city routes cousin’s lover and he told me where until recently you could bank on a bus the cameras are; there’s a little place every 20 minutes, circle left and circle behind the Simba chips rack where I right, and okay, maybe this wasn’t the can eat a steak and kidney pie in one London Underground where there’s a minute. But if I’m dirty and untidy train every five minutes on certain in- PnP staff will notice me, so I soak my ner lines, but it was pretty good for a clothes in sea water and let them dry cockeyed kleptocratic dump trying to flat so they look quite nice for eating become a tourist city. pies. But be of good cheer, dear readers. And the soap, say I, do you steal Good morning, say I to a pallid old that too? Ja, says he, from the Public crone in King Dinuzulu Road with Library toilet, but you can’t use it with handbag clutched to her dismal bosom sea water, it’s just for my body with in case of pickpockets, bagsnatchers, fresh water. muggers and skabengas in general. And how do you get into town? I Do City Hall taxis come this way? say ask. No, says he, I live here. I look all I. She grinds her dentures something mole? I ask, and bejasus he goes off his about; plenty boats, two restaurants horrid. She contorts her skinny lips, route and drops me exactly there. and a parking area, but nothing you revealing grotesque old bakelite gums. My favourite concrete block is down could call a habitation. He takes me to She groans: I’m not a girl any more, you at the yacht mole, top of the slipway, his sleeping place nearby, just a couple know, but here I just have to stand on a good place for eating saamies and of blocks from the City Hall: shabby aching legs until a city hall taxi comes, watching the ships. You can watch the sheets of plastic on the branches of a the bench there is full of natives. Well ships from the swanky restaurants small mangrove patch between the this being Africa ’twould be passing just over the way, of course, and pay harbour-side railway line and the strange if it were full of Inuit, wouldn’t and extra R30 on your delicatessen moored yachts, a long and narrow spit it? say I. Well Eskimos or Hottentots bill for the privilege, but it’s nicer to of sea sand next to a fresh stormwater they’re not going to drive me out of this have the wind blow your hair about outlet pipe. Small crabs have colonised country and that’s final, I tell you, you too, which blowing also is for free down a wee beach, and a tough beach vine needn’t even try to persuade me. Says at the slipway. But I need a lavvy first. too, it is a mini-ecosystem. A few people she. There’s a municipal one nearby; I enter. sit around, one of them cooking some- I am rescued by a stuffed-full 14-seat There at the wash-hand basin stands thing on a stick over a fire. taxi with 20 souls aboard all sweating a lean young man, half naked and We look after each other, says and exchanging viruses on this 80% singing a lusty isiZulu song, rubbing Young Man. I try to conceal my humidity morn. Five rands says the his torso and armpits with pink soap saamies, to give them to him would conductor. Do you go by the yacht and a big old kitchen sponge. Soapy seem patronising. n

30 Smalls ads must be booked and paid for online. Book at: SMALLS www.noseweek.co.za

FOREIGN HOLIDAY ACCOMMODATION LEGAL, INSURANCE & FINANCIAL SERVICES Loire Valley, France. Holiday home, near Lawyer.co.za is a new website for members of French lessons (Jhb) or translations (country- Loudun. 3 double bedrooms, washing machine, the public with extensive information about wide). Sorbonne-degreed native French speaker WiFi, large pool, spacious grounds. Enquiries lawyers and the law in SA. Research the law, or from Paris. [email protected] find a law firm. Also available in Afrikaans at For more information call 071 356 8279; www.Prokureur.co.za or email [email protected] LOCAL HOLIDAY ACCOMMODATION Certifed Forensic Document Examiner / hand- Argentinian Tango lessons Monday nights 6.30 writing expert Cape Town. Signatures forged? – 8.30 in Parktown North, Johannesburg. Call Klein Bosheuwel Bishopscourt, Klaassens Road, Disputed documents? Visit www.fdex.co.za Ralph 082 481 9400 or email Cheryl: 200m from Kirstenbosch Gardens Rycroft gate. Jurgens Bekker Attorneys, Alberton [email protected] Tranquil B & B in an acre of gardens. Call Commercial and litigation. Call 072 011 3670 Need a ride to the airport? 021 762 2323; www.kleinbosheuwel.co.za or email [email protected] Or home from a night out? Arniston Stunning seafront home perched on Jurgens Bekker Attorneys, Bedfordview Request a ride using the Taxify app on your cliff top overlooking beach. Breathtaking posi- Commercial and litigation. Call 083 294 device using the promo code FDL2U and tion and panoramic sea views, 5 bedrooms, 3 9995 or email [email protected] you’ll get your first ride (up to R150) free, en-suite, serviced; 082 706 5902. Jurgens Bekker Attorneys, Cape Town once you’ve added and selected your card. Commercial and litigation. Call 078 989 2957 Taxify app is available on IOS and Google LOCAL PROPERTY FOR SALE or email [email protected] Play stores. Nosing around for property in Langebaan or the Jurgens Bekker Attorneys, Kempton Park West Coast? Call Melanie Mouton-Creugnet; Commercial and litigation. Call 072 424 3177 WANTED 079 378 0000 or [email protected] or email [email protected] Penvale near Henley Lovely ten-acre property Jurgens Bekker Attorneys, Pretoria Your unwanted frearms, left from deceased partly improved. R850,000. Commercial and litigation. Call 082 776 8650 estates or simply a bother to keep? Call Aubrey 082 839 2030. or email [email protected] [email protected] is looking for a variety Kerrsure. Commercial and Domestic Insurance: of weapons to add to a forensic collection used FOR SALE by savvy women, for savvy people. Call Gillian for research. 021 557 5975. Authorised FSP. Rugby programmes, the older the better. Pri- Tinus & Gabriel de Jongh paintings bought, 30 years experience in winding up estates via vate Collector. Call Hymie 082 990 4705. sold and valued for estates and insurance; the Cape Town masters office. Wooden strip wood canoe. Willys jeep. 021 686 4141; [email protected]; Call Roger 083 254 5499. Landrover series 1 11 111. Call 083 273 2014. www.tinusdejongh.co.za Get Rid of Moles – random motor mole chaser. Go to www.molechaser.co.za and order online or call 082 559 8874. Plastic pallets bought & sold. (New interna- tional legislation for exporting on wooden pallets! ISPM15); www.premierpallets.co.za or 083 756 6897. Ex-SANDF Military Surplus Clothing, Tents, Vehicles, Camping Gear, etc. Go to www.southafricanmilitarysurplus.co.za Dutch motor cruiser, European coastal & inland waterways, 2 toilets, shower, wash- ing machine. R1.4 million neg. Enquiries [email protected]

SMALLS ADS The deadline is the 24th of the month, two months prior to IT’S EASY TO SUBSCRIBE publication. Never miss an issue...Free delivery...Enjoy big savings Ads are prepaid at R200 plus VAT for up to 15 words, thereafter R15 per word plus VAT. Please note that multiple (long-term bookings) are now ONLINE Subscribe at PHONE Call 021 686 0570 available online. www.noseweek.co.za or with your credit card or fax email [email protected] 021 686 0573 or 0866 773 650 BOXED ADS Boxed ads are 6cm (1 column) wide, and are charged at R900 for the first 3cm and R250 per additional cm (length) plus VAT. PLEASE NOTE: Cheques are no longer accepted in payment. Payment is due within 30 days of invoicing. Apart from having SA’s top investigative magazine delivered to Please contact [email protected] to book or phone 021 686 0570. your door, you could also win one of five Ken Forrester wine packs. DISCLAIMER Subscribe now and stand in line to score. Although Noseweek does reject obviously questionable ads, it CONGRATULATIONS TO THIS MONTH’S WINNERS: can’t run checks on every ad that appears in the magazine. The Mr WJF Chance, Howick; Mrs DM Clarke, Rosettenville magazine doesn’t endorse the products or services advertised Mr Charl Hirschmann-Aloserij, Oranjezicht; Mr Danny Talhami, and readers are urged to exercise normal caution when doing Modderfontein; Mr Dave van Heerden, Florida business with advertisers.

NOSEWEEK December 2018 31