LVECan make progress

THOMAS JAY OORD

THE IDEA THAT HUMANS can make A third option exists.This option says progress strikes some as naïve.With every war that progress is possible, but not inevitable. and its chaotic aftermath, looming ecological In terms of moral progress, we might say that disasters, and the deviance reportedly inherent love can make progress. But we can also step in human nature, it seems absurd that things can backwards, fail to love, and witness evil’s increase. get better. In fact, say some, things seem to be In either possibility, there is no inevitability. getting worse. Love may or may not make progress. Of course, even pessimists admit that Most, if not all, of us actually want to witness improvement of a certain sort has been made. love making progress. Progress in love, in other Humans have made progress,? if we mean an words, presupposes that we have at least a vague increase in the quantity of commodities. Some notion about which actions promote well- speak of the inevitable progress of technology, being and which do not.We entertain a vision and who can question that more people have access for what a better tomorrow might be. Or as to more information than ever before? But, say Henry David Thoreau put it, “Love is an pessimists, increases in commodities or access to attempt to change a piece of the dream-world information do not indicate genuine progress. into reality.” Either nothing can make the world a better We want love in action, and we would love place, or the world will necessarily become better. to be a part of that action. Permit me to suggest To say it another way, progress is either seven general arenas in which we might make impossible or inevitable. Which do we choose? progress in love:

 JUNE–AUGUST 2005 • # 7 • SHIFT: AT THE FRONTIERS OF CONSCIOUSNESS WE CAN MAKE PROGRESS IN LOVE IF WE . . . There is much to be done—by psychologists,biologists, I. PROMOTE THE EXEMPLARS neurologists, sociologists, cosmologists, anthropologists,

A few weeks after 9/11, the late Fred Rogers of and scientists of other stripes—that could increase our H

Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood fame answered this question scientific knowledge of love. E from a reporter:“What should parents tell their children A now?” His words are worth taking to heart:“Tell them to 4. THINK DEEPLY ABOUT L THE MEANING OF LOVE I keep their eyes on the helpers.” In terms of love, we N Learning how to use our reasoning powers can be a might say that progress can be made if we keep our eyes G on the lovers. powerful aide in the progress of love.This does not mean Models, mentors, and exemplars of love put flesh on that the most brilliant are also the most loving. But being A the abstract idea of loving one’s family, neighbor, and as clear as we can about what love means allows us to N enemy.We need not only to encourage those we know to bypass the errors of rampant ambiguity. And using our C reasoning abilities can help us to think creatively about I

become love exemplars, but we also need to promote E

such lovers in the public square. how both to love and to overcome love’s obstacles. N

It has sometimes been said that a reciprocal relation- T 2. PRACTICE SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES ship exists between wisdom and love.The most profound E For centuries, religious people have found help in expressions of love are often accompanied by a series of W following various practices that have enhanced the well-being wise decisions. Progress requires us to act both for the O of both those who practice them and those with whom love of wisdom and for the wisdom of love. U these practitioners relate. Love can make progress when N we follow religious practices that engender wholeness and 5. PARTICIPATE IN AND ADVOCATE THE D genuine happiness. GROWTH OF LOVING COMMUNITIES S Not all religious practices enhance well-being, of We are beginning to see that Western culture has course. Just because an act is religious doesn’t mean that the generally overemphasized individualism to the neglect of act is good. For love to make progress, therefore, we must community. Alasdair Maclntyre preaches the importance of make decisions about the helpfulness of various religious community in his highly influential book, After Virtue. He practices. This process is personally and politically writes,“What matters [now] is the construction of local charged. But perhaps love can become the measuring forms of community within which civility and the intellectual stick for believers as they ponder how they might best and moral life can be sustained.”Maclntyre’s emphasis upon practice religion and make judgments about the fruitfulness community is vital to understanding and practicing love. of practices. If love is relational, community is essential to the progress of love. And not just any community will do. 3. INCREASE SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE After all, communities can be hotbeds for hatred as well ABOUT PROSOCIAL BEHAVIOR as workshops of love. One way that love can make An increase in scientific knowledge, by itself, does progress is by participation in and the advocacy of not necessarily mean progress in love, but increases in communities that promote love. scientific knowledge related to the giving and receiving of love can be helpful. In his American Psychological 6. SPEAK OUT AGAINST NEGATIVE Association presidential address fifty years ago, Harry CULTURAL INFLUENCES Harlow declared: Progress in love requires proactive behavior to support activities and structures that promote well-being. Because of its intimate and personal nature, [love] is regarded by some as an improper topic for experi- But progress also comes through reactive behavior that mental research. But, whatever our personal feelings opposes activities and structures that generate ill-being. may be, our assigned mission as psychologists is to Becoming a voice for the oppressed against the oppressors— analyze all facets of human and animal behavior into in their many guises—is an act of love that increases the their component variables. So far as love or affection common good. is concerned, psychologists have failed in this mission. The little we know about love does not transcend Although opinions vary about the specifics, the simple observation, and the little we write about it majority of social scientists point to aspects of culture that has been written better by poets and novelists. thwart the establishment of well-being. Progress in love

SHIFT: AT THE FRONTIERS OF CONSCIOUSNESS • # 7 • JUNE–AUGUST 2005  requires lovers to be social activists and cultural critics. seems to be an important one toward resolving the age- Maximal progress in love cannot be made by individual old problem of evil that challenges the faith of both theists or community activity alone.The broad structures of culture and atheists alike. If we all want to attune our lives to the must be evaluated by the prophets of love. ways of the Ultimate Being, and if we believe that the Ultimate Being loves us all steadfastly,we have grounds to 7. ENDORSE A VISION OF GOD trust that we make progress in love when we attune our AS THE SOURCE OF LOVE lives to the Ultimate Lover. Some religious traditions better support the idea that Can things get better? Yes! Can love make progress? progress in love is possible.Those traditions that consider Yes! It is not inevitable, but progress in love is possible. creatures to be free to some degree, that acknowledge standards of good and evil and also encourage their THOMAS JAY OORD is a professor of adherents( to seek) _something+ better, are likely the most and at Northwest Nazarene University in powerful religious forces in the progress of love. Nampa, . He also works with the Institute for Unlimited Love, and serves as academic correspondent Theistic traditions may be more convincing and and contributing editor for Science and Theology appealing if they understood God to be both the source News. This article was adapted from the book Science of our love and the one who loves steadfastly.This step of Love (Templeton Foundation Press, 2004).

Social Healing H Selected Resource Guide WEBSITES The Forgiveness Project I Thought We'd Never Speak Again www.theforgivenessproject.com by Laura Davis (Perennial Currents, 2003) Building Bridges for Peace A touring exhibition of inspirational stories c/o Seeking Common Ground Long Shadows: Truth, Lies and History www.s-c-g.org The Karuna Center by Erna Paris (Bloomsbury, 2001) www.karunacenter.org Summer programs for The Moral Imagination Israeli/Palestinian teens International training programs in conflict transformation by John Paul Lederach (Oxford Press, 2005) Satyana Institute My First White Friend: Confessions on www.satyana.org Conflict Transformation Across Cultures www.sit.edu/contact/overview/index.html Race, Love and Forgiveness Programs on gender reconciliation, by Patricia Raybon (Penguin, 1997) leadership, and spiritual diplomacy Professional development program Institute for Healing of Memories Remembrance and Reconciliation Forgiveness Institute by Bjorn Krondorfer (Yale Press, 1995) www.forgivenessinstitute.org www.healingofmemories.co.za Website of Father Michael Lapsley The role of forgiveness in social healing Returning to the Teachings: Exploring Human Dignity and Humiliation Studies Aboriginal Justice by Rupert Ross The Parents Circle (Penguin, 1996) www.theparentscircle.org www.humiliationstudies.org Breaking the cycle of humiliation Healing the Israeli-Palestinian conflict Revenge: A Story of Hope by Laura Blumenfeld Compassionate Listening Project BOOKS ( Square Press, 2003) www.compassionatelistening.org Person-to-person citizen's diplomacy A Human Being Died that Night Solidarity and Suffering: Towards a by Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela Politics of Relationality by Douglas Sturm The Witnessing Project (Mariner Books, 2004) (SUNY, 1998) www.witnessingproject.org Turning the witnessing of trauma Common Shock: Witnessing Violence The Spiritual Roots of Restorative Justice into healing Every Day by Kaethe Weingarten by Michael Hadley, ed. (SUNY, 2001) (Dutton, 2003) One by One Transcending: Reflections of Crime Victims www.one-by-one.org Creating Sanctuary: Toward the Evolution by Howard Zehr (Good Books, 2001) Transforming the legacies of genocide of Sane Societies by Sandra Bloom through dialogueH(Routledge, 1997)  JUNE–AUGUST 2005 • # 7 • SHIFT: AT THE FRONTIERS OF CONSCIOUSNESS