REVEREND JACKIE CALOW vicar of ALL SAINTS CHURCH, RHODES and SAINT MICHAEL’S CHURCH, TONGE-CUM-ALKRINGTON In the Benefice of Tonge, Rhodes and Alkrington In the Deanery of Heywood and Middleton In the Diocese of Manchester Together in God, growing in faith and love, reaching out to all.

July 2020 Dear sisters and brothers in Christ,

For some of you this will be your 4th letter since the pandemic lockdown began on the 23rd March, for others this might be your first letter as our lists of contacts grow longer with each passing day. Whether you are reading this letter as a first contact or a regular contact, how many of us could have imagined at the start of this year how 2020 would unfold? The phrases, ‘I’m going through hell’, ‘I’ve been to hell and back’ are phrases I’ve sadly heard several times. Maybe they are words you’ve heard too or even said yourself. I’m so very sorry there is this much suffering in our church family and the entire world too. Whilst we could have a theological conversation on the word ‘hell’, my own opinion about hell, is that, hell is simply the absence of God. In response therefore, whilst we might use these phrases about suffering being likened to ‘hell’, we can actually be assured that during this Coronavirus pandemic and it’s consequences, God has not abandoned us, far from it! God promises to abide with us at all times and in all places. Nothing, not even the Coronavirus, can separate us from the love of God, as St Paul reminds us in his letter to the Romans:

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Or as we are reminded in Psalm 23, the Psalm we have been using in our online worship each Sunday as an ‘Affirmation of Faith’ beginning with the added words, ‘I believe’.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff — they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long.

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Additionally, there is a secular poem that is very popular and also offers some great reassurance of the presence of God in the most difficult of times.

One night I dreamed a dream. As I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, One belonging to me and one to my Lord. After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints. This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. "Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me." He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you Never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

There are of course so many passages of scripture and secular poems, as well as the stories from people of faith, that provide us with much needed words of encouragement and inspiration, to help us with our faith, to get us through this time of real crisis and keep hope alive.

However, and this is really important: because each of us is unique: our character, circumstances, life experiences, finances, family, relationships, it means our losses are all felt differently. Even two people living in the same household will feel each loss differently – some as opposite to each other, some as very similar. The gap could be incredibly wide or not. Because of our uniqueness, how we respond to a crisis can be a real challenge for many people, what one person apparently takes in their stride, another will feel traumatised and speak of a ‘living hell’. Understanding these differences is the key to both seeking help and offering help. Hence, this message is for everyone - both you that are struggling and those who can help others in great need.

As well as the above scripture and poem I’ve already used, I’m going to begin with a few quotes from a book I’ve read recently by Charlie Mackesy, called, The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and the Horse.

“Everyone is a bit scared”, said the horse, “But we are less scared together”.

“I’m so small,” said the mole. “Yes,” said the boy. “But you make a huge difference.”

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” “Kind.” Said the boy.

“What do you think is the biggest waste of time?” “Comparing yourself to others.” Said the mole.

“One of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things.”

“Isn’t is odd. We can only see our outside, but nearly everything happens on the inside.”

“We often wait for kindness … but being kind to yourself can start now.” Said the mole. 2

“What is the bravest thing you’ve ever said?” asked the boy. “Help”, said the horse.

“When have you been at your strongest?” asked the boy. “When I have dared to show my weakness. Asking for help isn’t giving up.” Said the horse. “It’s refusing to give up.”

“Sometimes.” Said the horse. “Sometimes what?” asked the boy. “Sometimes just getting up and carrying on is brave and magnificent.”

“Tears fall for a reason and they are your strength not weakness.”

“To be honest, I often feel I have nothing interesting to say.” Said the fox. “Being honest is always interesting.” Said the horse.

“I’ve realised why we are here.” Whispered the boy. “For cake?” Asked the mole. “To love.” Said the boy. “And be loved.” Said the horse.

I think it is safe to say that I can’t recommend this book highly enough. It has many more thought provoking phrases as the boy, horse, mole and fox reflect on ‘life’. If you need me to order you a copy, just let me know and I will arrange that. In the meantime, I offer you a promise that if you need help in any kind of way, financial, spiritual, mentally, I really am here for you - please take the words of a horse, be brave and say, ‘help’. If you have been checking up on someone, or doing acts of kindness for someone, please keep it going. The care and kindness some people need is getting more desperate not less, and this is why. Up until recently, when restrictions affected us all, we were all in that boat together, now, as restrictions are being lifted, some people have got out of that boat - they have set sail in another boat full of family, friends, work colleagues, where finances are better, children are back at school, a haircut has been possible. For others still left in the boat, it feels like their boat is sinking, shielding is still in place, fear makes it difficult to go out even when that is possible, loneliness is simply overwhelming, they still haven’t had a hug, finances are worse than ever before, there is loss of income, even redundancy, children have not gone back to school, hair is getting longer, the losses are many; mentally and spiritually exhausted, things seem so much worse now when others are sailing in an alternative, happier boat. These disparities are felt so intensely.

There are also well meaning but unhelpful conversations taking place too. For example, asking someone to be strong, might seem innocent enough, but it doesn’t allow that person the space to share exactly how they are feeling, in effect what is happening is that they are being asked to suppress their fears, sorrow and even tears. Asking someone to be brave is much more helpful, explaining being brave is to share exactly how they feel and to receive help where it is offered. Another unhelpful phrase is, ‘I know just how you feel’, or, ‘exactly how you feel’. No! You definitely don’t! Because of yours and their uniqueness, there can easily be empathy but as soon as these unhelpful words are said any further conversation is stifled. It is much more helpful saying something like, ‘I cannot imagine what you are going through.’

Everyone please, we are not all in the same boat and I can’t say this enough - contact, listen and bless.

Firstly, make contact in whatever way you can, there is someone waiting for your call. Secondly, the most difficult – listen! Please enable that person to talk, to share how they are feeling, please don’t solutionise – that’s not what most people need, simply listen. If you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything. The third is easy, bless them, ASK what you can do for them and be prepared to do it.

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Together we can help to row that boat that feels like it is sinking, we will get in there with you to help you row and keep you afloat – we will not let you sink, no matter how long it takes. We really mean that, being is scared is scary, but we are less scared together.

The next part of this message begins by saying thank you to a few people as follows:

Dorothy, May, wardens, Elaine, Neil, and Carol, and all members of the ‘Pastoral Care Teams’ for your efforts in keeping in touch with so many people and helping out where needed, also to Rachel who keeps us all in order at St Michael’s with our calls. I know we have not got to everyone especially our young families, but we are doing our best and I thank you for that!

Next, for all who contributed to the ‘Shoe Boxes’ – decorating them, filling them, writing cards for recipients, delivering them. Thank you! This endeavour was never about the contents, instead it was about letting people know that we do care and are thinking and praying for them. We have received many messages of thank you about the boxes including this from a lady who is 94 – “please thank the girls who have made the box and card, who went to so much trouble to give me so much pleasure.” If you didn’t get a box or know someone who we could help by providing a box, please let us know.

Next, a thank you message for Neil and all the volunteers working so hard with the work of Middleton In Action Together and those who are hosting the roaming food box for donations. We are working as a great team reaching out to the most vulnerable people. The demand has been slightly erratic the last few weeks but our service is still very much needed, so much so, that we have formed a partnership with the Rochdale Hub and other voluntary aid groups as they aim to focus borough wide demand to a more local response.

Finally, a thank you to all who are involved in the life of our church in other ways: social media posts, website, cleaning, gardening, Churchwardens, PCC members, financial matters and those who join me, Monday to Friday on Zoom for Morning Prayer. To you all, thank you!

Thanking those who are involved in our financial matters leads me on to thanking all of you who have made the switch from envelopes or loose plate collection to standing order donations. It really is a huge help with our financial planning – and keeps us safer too by not having to handle cash or cheques. If you haven’t yet done that, please do consider doing this as a matter of urgency. Additionally, I invite all of you who do any kind of shopping online to help raise some much-needed funds for our parishes. All you have to do is become a member of Easy Fundraising and name either St Michael’s or All Saints as your chosen charity and that’s it. Every time you shop online - if your chosen store is listed, there are thousands of them, they will donate a percentage of your spending to church. It’s that easy and it doesn’t cost you a single penny – just an extra click in the process. Simply visit: https://www.easyfundraising.org.uk to get going.

I now address the Government permission of our church buildings to reopen for public worship and occasional offices (baptisms, marriages, funerals) where this can be done safely AND where a legally required risk assessment has been undertaken so that we are Covid-19 secure.

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For some of you this news will be welcomed. For others it will add to your worries and so I will aim to be sensitive about this and at the same time aim to offer some hope and reassurance. The first thing to say is that, even when your worship takes place at home, God is still with you, hears and answers your prayers and maintains his promise to gaze upon you constantly with unfailing love. God’s presence is always with us, in ways that often escape explanation. In the long history of God’s people, the divine presence has been with us in troubled times as well as in moments of comfort: in exile as well as at homecoming, in haste on the journey as well as in moments of contemplation, in gathered congregations as well as in domestic settings, and in the mysterious One who reveals himself in the daily breaking of bread as much as in the vision of the heavenly Temple. Therefore, please do not put yourself at risk by feeling like you must return to church. We will continue to provide an online service for some time to come, or even indefinitely. When services of Holy Communion are broadcast live, those who tune in are participating in a real Eucharistic assembly. Those who participate remotely in this way, but who are unable to be present physically, can practice a form of Spiritual Communion. The term ‘Spiritual Communion’ has been used historically to describe the means of grace by which a person, prevented for some serious reason from sharing physically in a celebration of the Eucharist, nonetheless shares in the communion of Jesus Christ. I do hope these words offer some comfort, especially those of you who would usually be receiving Holy Communion in your own home.

The second thing to say about this is, the process. • The Risk Assessment (RA) was published on Wednesday 1st July from the and can be found on our websites. Social Media pages and A Church Near You page • The Deanery Chapter met on the 2nd July in the morning via Zoom to discuss the RA and all Middleton clergy agreed we should not rush the process of reopening. • On the 2nd July in the evening, Bishop Mark Davies, the , the Venerable David Sharples, the Archdeacon of Manchester, the Venerable , the Diocesan Strategic Programme Manager, Alison Moore and over 200 Diocesan clergy and Readers met via video conference to discuss reopening and clarify questions from across the Diocese. This included questions from some parishes about attendance registers for school places. A question some of you have started to ask me. The response was, ‘there has not yet been any government guidance, although it is promised. The Board of Education for the Diocese will issue some guidelines if there is a long delay’. Please don’t worry about this. Our attendance records are very thorough, and we can say with complete certainty the attendance total and regular pattern of attendance for every single child should we need to make any predictions or assessments. • On the 3rd July the PCC of both parishes met so that we could be satisfied in completing the RA that we were Covid-19 secure to reopen. The outcome is that we have set a date for reopening as follows with a review to take place immediately afterwards for any further services and type. o St Michael’s, Sunday 12th July at 9.30am - Eucharist in the nave, north and south aisles o All Saints, Sunday 12th July at 11am – Eucharist o St Michael’s, Wednesday 15th July at 2pm - Eucharist

Although not yet, reintroducing the 8am is an absolute priority and we will do that as soon as we can. The Family service too will form part of the review process with the hope to start again in September at the earliest. Unsurprisingly, there are many restrictions for us like the rest of the country, so you will find your worship has a new ‘norm’ for the foreseeable future, although as further restrictions are lifted/reintroduced we will change and adapt accordingly. For now, it is important to know that if you are intending to come into church, you MUST book a place. A separate sheet enclosed with this pack will provide full details of how to do this by phone or email.

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I’ve also added an extra information sheet with a list of the key points from the very detailed information provided by the Church of England and Diocese to support parishes reopening. Please do read them if you are planning to come to church. This will be an absolute necessity and requirement as they provide guidelines concerning what you might need to do and what you can expect to find in church. They also include several rules from the government which will be strictly obeyed.

Very briefly this is a short summary about the key changes:

• There will be gathering but at a social distance. No more than two in a pew - no sitting at the edges • There will be Holy Communion but bread only • There will be music but not singing • The service will continue to be live streamed – we still want to worship together with you • The children are welcome to come and worship too, but there won’t be any provision like Junior/Infant Church or any need to sign a register for school points • The toilet will be open but for urgent need only

Furthermore, the Bishop’s Leadership Team emphasise the following and these are our responses.

• It is important to plan well, start small and build up to a place where everyone feels confident that we can worship together safely – hence we are starting with just one from three services at St Michael’s • Initially we only need to open one church building for public worship in each Benefice - we have large congregations in each church and cannot accommodate all in either church. Also, we have weddings coming up with banns needing to be read in both churches hence our decision to open both churches. • The requirements for Holy Communion are quite detailed and it may be that not every service will be Eucharistic - we will advise you each Sunday what type of service it will be in the week following. • Where either priests or parishioners have concerns about participating in a service of Holy Communion, it is important that no pressure is placed on priests to preside at Holy Communion or on parishioners to receive the Sacrament – I don’t feel pressured, thank you. I hope you don’t too. • While God’s people are seeking to discern how to live as a Eucharistic community under the current restrictions, we believe that there is much we can learn from the present situation about the celebration of Holy Communion at any time. We encourage deep reflection on our practices, as all members of the Church seek to respond to changing circumstances and the spiritual needs that emerge from them.

We will indeed reflect on all our practices and what this means for us in both our parishes. Amongst these reflections we must remember, and this is important, that in all the suffering going on in the world because of the Pandemic and other things too, when all the pain, trauma, grief and hopelessness threaten to overwhelm us, that God is love. God’s love is evident is so many ways and active in the lives of so many people – you only need to look at Front Line Staff and Keyworkers to see there is more love in the world than we can possibly imagine, and this horrible pandemic must not eclipse that. God bless you all, from the frontline to the courageous soldiers alone in their own homes. God is with you.

Yours in Christ,

Rev’d Jackie

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