From Page From Line To Page To Line Chapter (start) (start) (end) (end) Comment Author Annotations

Richard Corlett General 0 0 0 0 This is an excellent SOD. Congratulations to the author team. Noted

Severin All in the text bibliography reference. Example: normally is Rozzi, Tchibozo 1 0 0 0 0 2013 not Rozzi 2013 This chapter focuses quite heavily on the link between pollinators and food production. This text is from the IPBES website: "The Katherine scope of this assessment will cover changes in animal pollination Baldock 1 1 3 34 708 as a regulating ecosystem service that underpins food production Not the focus of the document.

The explanations of self-pollination and cross-pollination should follow each other; and then the 3rd sentence should be a combined reference to the fact that both systems are often USA mediated or facilitated (not "done by") animals or wind and government 1 1 12 5 13 sometimes specialized plant morphology. Done

The Table of content seems not updated! ()e.g. 2.2.2.1.4 - Anders Nielsen 1 3 4 2.2.2.1.9) Will be fixed. It might be sensible to combine, or at least follow one from the other, the two sections on Pollinators, traditional knowledge and Mike Garratt 1 3 human well-being (sections 1.5 and 1.9) Will be fixed. Reference needs to be made somewhere giving the defiitions for be done. 1 4 4 categories of evidence such as 'established' Will be fixed.

The structure of the executive summary seems odd in places. Are the bold sentences at the start of paragraphs meant to be Katherine headings, or the most important take-home messages? Some of Baldock 1 5 4 8 108 these sections are very long (e.g. lines 34-42). Bold = most important.

This says 'three quarters (75%) of the leading global food crops benefit from animal pollination' but on page 9 (lines 112-113) it says 'one third of global food crops benefit from animal Linda Field 1 5 4 5 5 pollination'. This is inconsistent. Done. This says 'three quarters (75%) of the leading global food crops Linda Field 1 5 4 5 5 benefit from animal pollination' but on page 9 (lines 112-113) it Done.

The definition of the term 'pollination' is not correct, please use the right term that appear in the glossary, i.e. 'The transfer of Arnon Dag 1 5 8 5 9 pollen from an anther to a stigma' Done. There is no 'self vector', it's better to use 'to be spontaneously Arnon Dag 1 5 10 5 11 self pollinated' Done. This sentence is not saying what I think it is intended to say "It is often mediated by animal pollinators but may occur spontaneously." Even animal-mediated pollination occurs USA 'spontaneously'. I think you're trying to say that self-pollination is government 1 5 11 5 12 often facilitated or mediated by other influences such as wind or Done. The sentence, 'Some plants can produce seeds without pollinators or sexual fertilisation' seems abrupt and does not Deepa flow well from previous sentence. There needs to be a sentence Senapathi 1 5 15 5 16 inbetween to indicate that there may be exceptions to the Done.

There should be a specification of the categories of humans given Akeem Ayofe the reality of cultural differences among people in different parts Akinwale 1 5 20 5 20 of the world. Done.

Akeem Ayofe A list of the 115 leading global crops should be provided in the Beyond the scope of the executive Akinwale 1 5 20 5 20 appendix to make the information more precisie and effective. summary. The first part of the paragraph (from 'Of 115 leading crops' until 'of animal pollination' ) is bit in contradiction with the second Arnon Dag 1 5 20 5 24 half- the first one give the impression that most of the crop Done. Comment:There are various statistics on the number crops dependant on pollination in this section. The difference between Beyond the scope of the executive Diane Castle 1 5 20 5 27 the figures should be made more clearly to avoid mis- summary. While I have no detailed figures on these facts, I assume that the Jan Axmacher 1 5 20 5 21 substantial majority of the production mentioned here is actually Done. These statistics are confusing. 1st the figures are for "115 leading global crops consumed by humans", and the next sentence gives different figures for "crops directly consumed by humans and traded on the global market". Why are both sets of figures needed? Suggest UK Government 1 5 20 5 27 distinguishing more clearly or choosing one set of figures. Done USA government 1 5 20 22 Mt as a unit needs description. Done USA "…seed production from 87 species relies …….., while 28 government 1 5 20 22 pollinate without animal pollination services . Last part of the Done KR Shivanna 1 5 21 5 521 4*106 Mt Is this 4x10 to the power of six Mt? Done "global production volumes" How were those calculated? Is there a unit available such as t/ha? Or does this relate to the Cannot give details in Executive Jens Dauber 1 5 22 5 23 proportion of UAA (utilized agricultural area)? Summary It can't be universally true that root crops don't rely on animal Norwegian pollination? Even if the fruits (i.e. roots) develop without Government 1 5 23 5 24 fertilization, their cultivation would most often require seeds Done

There should be a specification of the categories of humans given Akeem Ayofe the reality of cultural differences among people in different parts Akinwale 1 5 25 5 25 of the world. Done

Madeleine Chagnon 1 6 12 6 12 spontaneously ( is this a botanical terminology) Done Madeleine is pollination not essentiel ? Put metiated pollination ? or abiotic Chagnon 1 6 18 6 18 Vertebratepollen vector is too general..(like you use 'Insect' before), I suggest NotDone a useful suggestion to the Arnon Dag 1 6 34 6 37 "…to specify-they are Birds, considered mammals… the dominant ...". Best to avoid this type executive summary. David Cooper 1 6 34 6 34 of formulation, especially in an executive summary. Passive voice Done I would welcome more substantiated facts, but also a clearer indication of prevailing uncertainties, in this otherwise excellent section. Firstly, I would have expected to see more headline figures relating to the global species richness of pollinators according to the current state of knowledge. While some species numbers are now provided for bees and flies (with the latter Jan Axmacher 1 6 34 6 38 assumingly including all known Dipteran species, i.e. quite a few Not for the executive summary. Barbara this is, I believe relying on the Klein data, and since 2007 so many Alexandra wiil do it about Gemmill-Herren 1 6 38 6 39 more species have been documented as being important crop POLLINATORS

USA government 1 6 40 6 40 "wildSpecies pollinaotrs scientific …names pivotal should role .. be In italicized. pollination of wild plants". Done David Cooper 1 6 43 6 43 Almost pointless truism. But if we are going to say it perhaps we Noted

Arnon Dag 1 6 44 6 44 Repetition of lines 34-35 Noted "pollinating butterflies …. More abundant … in tropics". Yes. But can we give a more complete and systematic treatement of the distribution, diversity and abundance of pollintoars among David Cooper 1 6 45 6 46 biomes, regions and as compared to biodiversity in general. Eg Not for the executive summary.

I suggest to mention the cockroaches together with the other Arnon Dag 1 6 49 6 49 insects Done "no … evaluations …(established but incomplete)" what does the Editors will establish this meaning in David Cooper 1 6 50 6 51 "established but incomplete" refer to??? the document. Sandhya no quantitative evaluations of the relative importance of the Chandrasekhara 1 6 50 6 51 different pollinating taxa: but is there a comprehensive Not part of the executive summary. Less abundant pollinators might play an important role due to Andreas Kruess 1 6 51 6 52 provide redundancy (and hence may become more abundant in Noted

Jan Axmacher 1 6 51 6 51 Unclear what is meant by "less common pollinators" Done This is a broad statement - what about palm oil pollination UK Government 1 6 51 6 52 Iby wouldn't weevils? say Massively'no direct importance important cropbut 'small direct importance' Done Arnon Dag 1 6 52 6 52 There- since are we publicationshave crops that on thepollinated economical by bats importance for example oh (like BeyondDone the scope of the executive Arnon Dag 1 6 54 6 55 honeybee for crop pollination, I suggest to add the figure. As for summary. Apis mellifera is not really 'ubiquitous' as a managed bee, since it does very badly in the Asian tropics, where A cerana is more Richard Corlett 1 6 55 6 55 common. Noted

Barbara Gemmill-Herren 1 6 56 6 57 Apis cerana is also managed, and should be mentioned Done.

Linda Field 1 6 56 6 56 Say what defines a 'high value crop' Done

Linda Field 1 6 56 6 56 Say what defines a 'high value crop' Done.

Madeleine Chagnon 1 6 57 6 57 57-57 what is diffrence between stingless bees and solitary bees ? See in the glossary.

David Cooper 1 6 58 6 51 "(well established but incomplete)" make your mind up! Explained in preface.

USA No scientific name included for 'alfalfa leafcutter bee (i.e. USAgovernment 1 6 58 6 58 NoMegachile scientific rotundata name included) for 'oil palm weevil' (i.e. Elaeidobius Noted. government 1 6 60 6 61 kamerunicus ?) Noted

(established but complete. Should this be established but KR Shivanna 1 6 61 6 61 incomplete? Done Madeleine The basic definition of Pollination should not be linked to the Chagnon 1 7 5 7 5 ecosystem service that is very antropocentric Noted Before getting into the importance of combining wild with managed pollinators, you need to mentioned what are the main problems with managed pollinators that we can’t continue and Arnon Dag 1 7 68 7 86 trust only them (CCD.. competitions…mobility for cross Done Here, or somewhere, there should be a statement in th executive David Cooper 1 7 68 7 70 summary, on how high diversity (and abundance) of pollintors Noted Deepa As diveristy refers to biological diversity, it would be better to say Senapathi 1 7 68 7 68 'number of different kinds of species' rather than 'number of Done

Comment: Ensure clarity regarding the type of crops being Diane Castle 1 7 68 7 80 referred to in this section Noted.

the Trust suggests that the word ‘abundance’ could be included in the glossary. Its definition relates both to the number of Richard populations and to the number of individuals in those Comont/Michae populations. It is most frequently defined by some geographical Akeeml Usher Ayofe 1 7 68 7 68 Arestriction brief definition rather ofthan intensive being assessed and extensive globally. agriculture should be Done Akinwale 1 7 71 7 71 provided Done in the glossary

David Cooper 1 7 71 7 80 parargaph text does not fully match bold text Noted "intensive agriculture" vs "extensive agriculture". This is a false dichotomy. Eg home gardens are more intensivley managed (but David Cooper 1 7 71 7 80 with fewer pesticides) than N.Am wheat and maize cultivation. Done

Deepa Sentence starting 'Intensive agricultural… ' needs to read ' Senapathi 1 7 71 7 71 Intensive agriculture… ' Noted. In my opinion this is an overly simplistic description of intensive Jens Dauber 1 7 71 7 75 and extensive agriculture (see also my comment on the preface Done USA high and low inputs of what? Seeds? Plants? Pesticides? government 1 7 72 75 Clarification needed. I think you mean plants, but please provide Done This statement is misleading and must be corrected !! Intensive agriculture almost always increase yield (dramatically) in Arnon Dag 1 7 77 7 80 comparison to extensive agriculture (and this is the reason why Done

Unclear whether there is enough evidence to support this as a general statement at all. Might be true in one or two UK Government 1 7 77 7 80 systems but has it really been proved? Noted

This is somehow in contrast to the statement on p. 6, l.51-52 (see Andreas Kruess 1 7 82 7 83 comment above) Noted

USA Is the sentence about 'high diversity' referring to high diversity of government 1 7 85 7 85 "globalpollinator drivers" AND plant why "global"species orwith just the pollinators? possible exception of Done David Cooper 1 7 89 7 89 Confusingclaimte change bold statement:.the drivers occur Partly and because impact of acrossref to "globalall scales. Done David Cooper 1 7 89 7 89 drivers". Perhaps soemthing along the lines of: "Pollinator and Done USA Use of the word "impacting" should be changed to "affecting" or government 1 7 89 91 "influencing" or to "similarly decreasing" to avoid the appearance Done Marina Rosales Not all pollination-dependant crops have a higher market price, Benites de so this statement should be better qualified e.g."because they Franco 1 8 8 108 TEND to have higher market prices" Implicit David Cooper 1 8 97 8 98 13.7%, 22.6%: by what measure? Alexandra to deal with

See that those figure do not contradict those that presented in Arnon Dag 1 8 98 8 98 It’spage completely 5 lines 18-27 clear to me- Growers all over the world are using Alexandra to deal with BarbaraArnon Dag 1 8 98 8 100 Imore don't and think more this managed will serve pollinators your audience and welluse them to leave in improving this so Noted Gemmill-Herren 1 8 98 8 99 open ended and hanging. You could offer some ideas- such as, as Not for the executive summary. USA Because no data or citations are presented to support this government 1 8 98 101 perhaps:assumption "well-known that plant driversproduction of environmental is not changing change globally that while Not for the executive summary. David Cooper 1 8 103 8 103 occur at multiple scales, globally" Done Scott Black 1 8 103 8 108 Pesticides should be mentioned as a driver in this paragraph. Done German A footenote would help to understand, what aspects are Government 1 8 104 8 104 included in the term "intensification". Is the issue of Done Refers to diversity/abundance of "pollination services", but could Paul Egan 1 8 104 8 107 insteadHow established refer to diversity/abundance is this fact? Concerned of "pollinators", this is not as wellthe AllDone authors agreeded it is well USAUK Government 1 8 104 8 107 What'sestablished the significance at all of specifically mentioning 'micro- No.established Not all micro-organisms are government 1 8 106 8 106 organisms' here? Aren't they included in 'animals'? animals. This sentence should be placed earlier when the importance of Arnon Dag 1 8 107 8 108 pollinators is described Done

I suggest to finish the summary with the objective of the document- currently it’s not clear what is the objective of this Arnon Dag 1 8 108 8 108 paper) Not the proper place for the objectives

I would have expected the introduction to the assessment section to outline the main chapters in the report and explain briefly what each one covers and why it is important. I appreciate Katherine that the other chapters are not yet finalised but the main Baldock 1 9 110 10 160 purpose of each chapter is clear so can this be added? Done

Madeleine Section 1.1, 1.2 and 1.3 lack quality in writing and concepts are Chagnon 1 9 110 19 374 often redundant. Noted Madeleine Section 1.1, 1.2 and 1.3 lack quality in writing and concepts are Chagnon 1 9 110 19 374 often redundant. Noted

This chapter was intended to give an overview of the contents of the document. I think it came to be too elaborate for an introductory chapter, go into detailed but incomplete statements that will be clarified in their respective chapters or That exactly what as asked to the Rashied Modawi 1 9 110 32 656 sections. authors to do. Why you add ‘Biodiversity’ here- look again on the title of the Arnon Dag 1 9 111 9 112 "Thischapter document and verify is concernedthat you are with following food production it and do notthat change ….." This This a IPB(Biodiversity)ES document. David Cooper 1 9 111 9 112 does not reflect the full intended scope of the asssessment ( "The Done Madeleine Chagnon 1 9 111 9 111 write 'concerns' instead of is concerned Done

UK Government 1 9 111 9 112 This first sentence doesn’t make grammatical sense Fixed

Madeleine One third of global food (in volume), but about 70% in number of Chagnon 1 9 112 9 113 food crops Noted After Klein ref insert some examples of crops which do benfit from animal pollination and some that don’t. This is in the Linda Field 1 9 113 9 113 Summary page 2 lines 10-14 Noted

After Klein ref insert some examples of crops which do benfit from animal pollination and some that don’t. This is in the Linda Field 1 9 113 9 113 Summary page 2 lines 10-14 Noted USA Delete "although this figure does vary depend on the valuation This phrase was inserted in the government 1 9 114 115 method used." If the authors want to keep the concept, provide previous review round because some Apis mellifera is not really 'ubiquitous' as a managed bee, since it Richard Corlett 1 9 115 9 115 does very badly in the Asian tropics, where A cerana is more Done A more recent reference than Bohart is: Pitts-Singer, T.L., Cane, Andony J.H., 2011. The alfalfa leafcutting bee, Megachile rotundata: the Melathopoulos 1 9 118 9 118 world's most intensively managed solitary bee. Annual Review of Done Madeleine Wild introduced bees are non-native Chagnon 1 9 119 9 119 what is a wild introduced bee ? bees which were introduced

David Cooper 1 9 121 9 122 These statement needs more supporting references. Noted There is a break in the line of argumentation between these two Jan Axmacher 1 9 121 9 122 sentences, and the 2nd sentence needs more context (i.e. if Noted Strange statement; Almond in CA is completely pollinator dependent and typically hold by large grower, tomato in Arnon Dag 1 9 124 9 126 greenhouses is pollinator dependent and it hold by large grower Noted I don't think this is a correct quote; in the paper we said three Barbara things relevant to the comparative advantage of smallholders: Gemmill-Herren 1 9 124 9 126 (1) smallholder farms may be significantly more productive than Done Cross-referencing between the chapters of the assessment report: It would be helpful, if chapter 1 (but also other chapters) includes references to other chapters of the assessment report D3A, which provide further German information/proposals/recommendations on findings relevant Government 1 9 124 9 125 for analysing options and actions, such as the one outlined here: Noted. Not all pollination-dependant crops have a higher market price, so this statement should be better qualified e.g."because they USAPaul Egan 1 9 124 9 126 ComprisingTEND to have a small higher part market of the prices" volume of human diet in terms of Done Akeemgovernment Ayofe 1 9 124 Theregrams shouldof food be eaten a specification daily? Please of theclarify. base or locations of the Noted MadeleineAkinwale 1 9 125 9 128 thissmall entence scale farmers need to being be rewritten. referred toimproperly because notformed all small fruits scale will Done Chagnon 1 9 126 9 129 not have a reduced shelf life Done Mike Garratt 1 9 127 9 127 References provided are for almonds not apples Noted.

The main problems that occur with un-adequate pollination in strawberry is misshapen and small fruit, not shelf life or nutrient Arnon Dag 1 9 128 9 128 Needcomposition to follow up on this statement with consequences. Comes Noted. David Cooper 1 9 129 9 131 across as merely a passing reference. Done. "identified by the MA as currently under threat" check language. David Cooper 1 9 133 9 134 Perhaps assessed by the MA as currently declining" Done. "This is in part due to … dcommodities". Restructure this argument sequentially. It is confusing and perhaps inaccurate as David Cooper 1 9 133 9 138 drafted Done.

this whole para needs restructuring. Diseect more clearly between changes in demand and cahnges in supply, and step through causal links more carefully. (presently it almost reads David Cooper 1 9 133 10 143 that nutirtous diets is threatening pollination). Done The cause-effect is not clear. Is the "threat towards pollination" caused by "concerns over the security of food"? The MEA would probably turn the causation the opposite way. Given the rest of the paragraph, I would introduce by saying that "pollination services are under increasing strain". This could reflect that Norwegian supply is threatened, but also, that demand is increasing. The USAGovernment 1 9 133 9 137 Thisfollowing sentence text readswould as then if it's make the Millenniummore explicit Ecosystem distinctions Done government 1 9 133 9 134 ItAssessment is potentially that's misleading "currently to underinclude threat" the statement rather than that the Done. Richard Corlett 1 9 134 9 134 pollination services are 'currently under threat' without some Done "therefore" this doesn't necessarily follow. Argument is David Cooper 1 9 138 9 138 incomplete. Done

UK Government 1 9 138 9 138 Replace 'dependency' with 'dependence' done

David Cooper 1 9 139 10 143 add ref to IUCN assessmnet of European Bees Noted

Alejandro Parra- Hinojosa 1 10 141 10 142 in aggregate or in addition? Done In aggregate pollinators …. Vertebrate pollinators (Regan et al. KR Shivanna 1 10 141 10 143 2015). The sentence is not understandable. Done Madeleine Chagnon 1 10 141 10 142 in aggregate ? Done Barbara Gemmill-Herren 1 10 142 10 143 incomplete and not comprehensible sentence Done Sentence about the rate of deterioration of speciesis is unclear. Is Deepa the extinction rate of pollinatos higher in comparison to Senapathi 1 10 142 10 143 vetebrates or are more species falling into the Red List compared Done

Katherine Can you clarify what this sentence means, it doesn't make sense Baldock 1 10 142 10 143 to me. Done

UK Government 1 10 142 10 142 SeemsReplace very 'deteriorating' odd to now with use 'falling vertebrates by' as an example Done when the assessment already says they are not important UK Government 1 10 143 10 143 as pollinators in food production, which is the theme of this Done

Barbara it seems like this is largely repeating information that has been Gemmill-Herren 1 10 144 10 153 provided earlier in the chapter Done

Deepa Reference required for statement that 87.5% of flowering plants Senapathi 1 10 144 10 145 requiring pollination - Ollerton et. al. 2011 Done

Katherine Add reference for the 87.5% pollinated by insects part of this Baldock 1 10 144 10 144 sentence - Ollerton et al. 2011 Oikos 120: 321-326. Done

Diane Castle 1 10 146 10 150 Same comment as above for Page 5 line 20-27 Done See comments above: While I have no detailed figures on these Jan Axmacher 1 10 146 10 148 facts, I assume that the substantial majority of the production Done Katherine I'm not exactly sure what this sentence is saying, it needs some Baldock 1 10 146 10 148 clarification. Done Cross reference UK government comment re: Ch1 page 5, lines 20-27: These statistics are confusing. 1st the figures are for "115 leading global crops consumed by humans", UK Government 1 10 146 10 153 and the next sentence gives different figures for "crops Done

Akeem Ayofe A list of the 115 leading global crops should be provided in the Akinwale 1 10 147 10 153 appendix to make the information more precisie and effective. Noted.

There should be a specification of the categories of humans given Akeem Ayofe the reality of cultural differences among people in different parts Akinwale 1 10 147 10 153 of the world. Done

4*106 Mt. Is this 4x10 to the power of 6 Mt ? (see also my KR Shivanna 1 10 147 10 147 comment on P 5, line 21) Done

Katherine Baldock 1 10 149 10 150 Is there a reference you can add to support this statement? Done

Katherine Baldock 1 10 150 10 153 This sentence needs rewording to make it clearer. Done

Katherine Baldock 1 10 154 10 154 Replace 'pertinent' with 'crucial'. Noted. The word 'necessitates' doesn't sound important enough. Can you include the word 'essential' in this sentence? I think it is Katherine essential that there is an assessment of the status of knowledge MadeleineBaldock 1 10 155 10 155 in this area. Noted Chagnon 1 10 155 10 155 replace 'people' by 'human needs' Done

Madeleine including.. market, non market, cutural are not included in Chagnon 1 10 156 10 157 population trends. Done German Please provide information here (reference), in which section the MadeleineGovernment 1 10 157 10 158 assessment report will be dealing with the issue of uncertainties Done Chagnon 1 10 158 10 158 Policy decision making' instead of ''decision making' ? Noted

Akeem Ayofe Noted. In summary for policy Akinwale 1 10 159 10 160 There should be a brief description of policy. makers

There needs to be more added to this sentence. Who will make the policy interventions? What type of policy interventions will be needed? This is the summary sentence of the overall Katherine introduction and it needs to be hard hitting to stress the To be in the Summary for Policy Baldock 1 10 159 10 160 importance of this whole report. Makers Akeem Ayofe There should be a clarification of social, cultural, environmental Dealt with in the other chapters and Akinwale 1 10 160 10 160 and economic values of pollinators. SPM. Pollination is an ecosystem function. It only becomes an ecosystem service if it supports human well-being. There is Jens Dauber 1 10 163 10 163 enough confusion and confounding of both terms in the Noted Madeleine Idem comment from line 5 .... definition should be as line 171 or Chagnon 1 10 163 10 163 as in glossary Noted.

Katherine Baldock 1 10 164 10 164 Repetition of 'fundamental'. Done Katherine Pollination is essential for all plant reproduction, but may be by Baldock 1 10 164 10 165 wind or animals. Animal-mediated pollination is important for Done Seems odd to use the Clough reference here as if it’s a UK Government 1 10 164 10 164 newly established fact Done Katherine The wording makes it sound as if it is the animal that is being Baldock 1 10 165 10 165 pollinated! Change to 'Pollination by animals' or 'Animal- Done Arnon Dag 1 10 167 10 167 Pollination is not necessarily resulted in fruit and seed production Done It is important to mentioned that in agricultural context, cross pollination many time is the transfer of pollen between verities Arnon Dag 1 10 170 10 170 and not only plants. Noted Andony I thought this section did a maverous job of reviewing plant Melathopoulos 1 11 118 22 373 mating systems, in that it is both concise and draws in current Noted. There is quite some repetition up to this point that 87.5% of flowering plants are animal pollinated. This line is the first that Paul Egan 1 11 174 11 175 gives the absolutle number and a reference, and is therefore Done

Figure 1: a generic flower? Need to be clearer because UK Government 1 11 177 11 177 reproductive morphology of them varies so much Noted Katherine Baldock 1 11 179 11 179 Rewards doesn't need to be in quotations here. Done

Katherine The information in brackets wold be better put in a table as it Baldock 1 11 179 11 184 makes the sentence difficult to read Noted

Madeleine Chagnon 1 11 179 11 179 replace ''reward'' by ressources Noted This is an important paragraph, as it is the only one that describes 'why' insects visit flowers, so perhaps important to represent this diversity. Could better break rewards down into Too academic. Beyond the scope of Paul Egan 1 11 179 11 184 'nutritive' and ' non-nutritive', with examples of the latter the document. Like you wrote that nectar is source of sugar, you better write Arnon Dag 1 11 180 11 182 that pollen is a source of vitamins, proteins, fatty acids and Done

UK Government 1 11 180 11 180 pollen as a source of protein Done Rodrigo Says: "and beetles, flies, and some bats", should say" and Medellin 1 11 181 11 181 beetles, flies, birds, and some bats" Done Katherine Give an example of an intricate method of pollination - figs and Baldock 1 11 185 11 186 ovarianfig wasps nuclei might in be the a goodovule. example. This is far from the fact. It is actually Done AlejandroKR Shivanna Parra- 1 11 190 11 190 egg nucleus and central cell nucleus of the female gametophyte Done BarbaraHinojosa 1 12 193 12 193 Omit "weeds" Noted Gemmill-Herren 1 12 196 12 196 some physiological and others morphological Done

Katherine Is there a term for this you can add to link the sentence to the Too academic. Beyond the scope of the Baldock 1 12 198 12 199 Figure - I think it is Xenogamy? document. Katherine Is 'Plant breeding systems' here the same thing as 'Plant mating Baldock 1 12 204 12 204 systems' mentioned in line 201? It would be better to use one No. They are different. Katherine It would be useful to include some information about how Baldock 1 12 204 15 242 important pollinators are for these different mating systems, Noted Change 'plant breeding systems' to plant mating systems' to be Linda Field 1 12 204 12 204 Changeconsistent 'plant with breeding the following systems' text to plant mating systems' to be Noted Linda Field 1 12 204 12 204 consistent with the following text Noted Katherine Figure is not referred to in the text and the legend needs to fully KatherineBaldock 1 12 208 12 209 Iexplain am not what sure thewhy central both Figure part of 2 theand figure Figure means 3 are included.(three boxes in Done Baldock 1 12 208 14 226 Choose one of these to include, Fig 3 is clearer. Done The bagged flowers, Emasculated virgin, and Not emasculated virgin treatments need explanation in the legend. Infact I do not Mike Garratt 1 12 Fig 2 12 Fig 2 think both figure 2 and figure 3 are needed. There is much Done

Madeleine this figure is useless since the legend does not explain the Chagnon 1 13 210 13 210 diagram in the center. See fig 3 instead Done Alejandro Parra- Hinojosa 1 13 212 13 214 Simplify the paragraph Noted. Andony For both B. napus and soybean there is evidence that under Melathopoulos 1 13 222 13 223 some contexts (e.g., for certain cultivars), supplemental Noted

Aparna Kalawate 1 14 227 14 228 In fig.3 pls define A and B in the caption Done From this nice figure, one can understand that in self pollination the involvement of bees is not required, which us nit true (take Arnon Dag 1 14 227 14 227 for example melon, it is self pollinated but required insect visit Done agamospermy. These days apomixis is more commonly used for this phenomenon. I suggest to include apomixis next to KR Shivanna 1 14 231 14 231 agamospermy in parenthesis: agamospermy (apomixis) Done Their embryo and endosperm are produced by the union of cells SeverinKR Shivanna 1 14 232 Fertilization14 233 from within the ovary or ovules. This sentence difficult to Done Tchibozo 1 15 234 … melon I suggest changing Musa paradisiaca to Musa ssp. Done Aparna Kalawate 1 15 235 15 236 Is seedless watermelon is an exmple of stenospernocarpy? Noted Deepa Section 1.3 on the 'Diversity of pollinators and their role in food Senapathi 1 15 244 15 244 production' needs to incorporate the latest data and figures Refer to Alexandra for amendment

It would be better to start with a section discussing the diversity of pollinators. And then follow this with a section on important crop pollinators. And maybe add a section on importance of pollinators for wild plants and biodiversity. At the moment this Katherine section mixes up all pollinators and crop pollinators which makes Baldock 1 15 244 18 332 this a confusing section to follow. Done I can't see anywhere in these two sections that mention common Katherine crops that do/don't need pollinators, For example many crops Baldock 1 15 244 22 374 are grasses and don't need pollinators and it should perhaps be Beyond the scope of the chapter.

Akeem Ayofe There should be a reconcilliation between 107 global crops and Akinwale 1 15 245 15 245 115 leading global crops mentioned in pages 5 and 10. To alexandra See comments above:I would welcome more substantiated facts, Noted, but n reliable detailed Jan Axmacher 1 15 245 15 255 but also a clearer indication of prevailing uncertainties, in this information as required and also Our understanding of which bee pollinators potentially Mike Garratt 1 15 245 18 318 contribute to production, based on visitation at least, has been To alexandra There are many more than 57 animal species that are pollinators. Scott Black 1 15 245 15 245 There are 20,000 species of bees. Do you mean groups? Done USA For the sake of consistency within the document: I noted that government 1 15 246 15 261 when bees and flies are mentioned in the narrative, their higher Done Katherine Name the fly families that play an important role and give Too much detailed and not the scope Baldock 1 15 249 15 249 references. of the chapter. Take out "lowliest" in terms of springtails. Plays into the negative Scott Black 1 15 254 15 254 feelings people have of insects. Done Katherine Baldock 1 15 256 15 257 How is this relevant to food production? Done For references for squirrel pollination, along with Yumoto et al. KR Shivanna 1 15 259 15 260 1999, Tandon et al. 2003, in which squirrel pollination has been Done Katherine Please mention solitary bees too. They may not be as well known Baldock 1 15 263 15 264 but they are an extremely diverse and important group and Done

USA government 1 15 263 15 263 honey bee' should be plural Done

Arnon Dag 1 16 266 16 266 Add ‘Apis mellifera’ after ‘the ‘western honey bee’ Noted

Jens Dauber 1 16 266 16 266 Add Apis mellifera after western honey bee Noted

USA government 1 16 266 16 266 Apis cerana should be enclosed in parentheses i.e. (Apis cerana ) Done

AkeemArnon Dag Ayofe 1 16 267 16 267 WhoReplace or what‘containers’ has moved with the ‘hives’ western honey bee native to Africa Done Akinwale 1 16 268 16 268 and Western Europe around the globe? When and why did such Done Arnon Dag 1 16 268 16 268 Omit the word Western from Western Europe Done

Apis cerana is established as an invasive species outside its natural range in the Cairns region of NE Australia (Hyatt, Shirin (2012) Asian Honey Bee (Apis cerana javana) in Cairns, Far North Queensland: Foraging, nesting and swarming behaviour. Richard Corlett 1 16 270 16 270 Technical Report.). Noted Akeem Ayofe Who are the main actors in modern beekeeping and what is their Akinwale 1 16 272 16 285 major motivation? Noted German Information (pros and cons) provided on modern and traditional Government 1 16 272 16 285 beekeeping is appreciated for analysing options. Noted … and elsewhere: There is a lot of information on bee-keeping in Jan Axmacher 1 16 272 17 302 this chapter - some of which appears a bit excessive to me given Relevant to other chapters Akeem Ayofe Why are bee diseases difficult to diagnose? Who should do the Akinwale 1 16 283 16 285 diagnoses? Noted

You missed one of the most important advantage of modern hives (in the context of pollination) and it is the possibility for Arnon Dag 1 16 283 16 285 migration Done USA government 1 16 284 284 Where is the citation to this statement? Done

Please add – and other bee product ‘pollen wax, propolis, royal Arnon Dag 1 16 290 16 290 jelly’ Done Some examples of agricultural sectors which apply management Jens Dauber 1 16 291 16 291 for pollination would be helpful. Noted

Need a reference to state that value as pollinators UK Government 1 16 291 16 292 outweighs honey harvest Done

There are several publication to support this important claim, Arnon Dag 1 16 292 16 292 please add those references Done

[…] prefered to other managed pollinators because of their highly efficient "buzzing" […] Bumble bees are the only MANAGED Andony pollinator species that sonicates. Many other wild genera Melathopoulos 1 17 298 17 298 sonicate. Noted David Cooper 1 17 298 17 199 "buzzing behaivour" explain. In the glossary

Arnon Dag 1 17 299 17 299 WhileI suggest I believe to add that ‘and this under text unfavorable and the associated weather figure conditions’ are Noted Jan Axmacher 1 17 304 17 307 important, it is in my view crucial to again clearly acknowledge Noted Richard this information appears to be from Appendix 2 of Klein et al Comont/Michae 1 17 304 17 304 2007, which lists both known pollinators and flower visitors. The Done USA How does the importance of the different pollinator groups government 1 17 304 18 319 change, if at all, between agricultural crop flower pollination and Beyond the scope Madeleine Chagnon 1 17 306 17 306 write 'non apis bees' (as in the figure) intead of honeybees Noted Rodrigo The bat figure is misleading. That is an insectivorous long eared Medellin 1 17 308 17 308 bat.Suggest replace. Done There should be a comment putting the frequency of pollinator Diane Castle 1 17 310 17 311 groups occuring on most important food crops in context with Done The comments made above (relating to l. 304ff.) also apply here, Jan Axmacher 1 17 310 17 312 i.e. the inherent biases in this figure (relating e.g. to nocturnal vs. Done

Linda Field 1 17 311 17 311 Change '2. Honey bees' to '2. Apis bees' to be more accurate Done

Linda Field 1 17 311 17 311 Change '2. Honey bees' to '2. Apis bees' to be more accurate Done Sandhya Chandrasekhara n 1 17 311 17 312 These pollinator groups need to be reflected in Chapter 5 as well Up to chapater 5 Legend would benefit from being more explicit. Does this Mike Garratt 1 17 Fig 4 17 Fig 4 represent visitation, species richness? Done USA The figure legend is a bit unclear. "Frequency of occurrence of government 1 17 Fig 4 pollination…" may be an appropriate lead-in. Moreover, the Done

USAKR Shivanna 1 18 234 18 234 The2006 sentence increasing "Different (Aizen et plant al. 2008). species Delete are visited increasing and pollinated? Done USAgovernment 1 18 314 Usually,by different scientific flower-visiting names following animal species"common is names unclear. are Please enclosed Done government 1 18 316 18 316 inside parentheses (i.e. Durian (Durio zibethinus taxomic )) Done Recognizing there is a mix of styles for addressing scientific names in this document, see above comment, but in relation to USA the scientific names included for species here (Apis dorsata ) and government 1 18 317 18 318 (Theobroma cacao ). The same style should be used throughout. Done

Linda Field 1 18 321 18 321 Change ''abroad' to 'away from this' Noted

Linda Field 1 18 321 18 321 Change ''abroad' to 'away from this' Noted "Set seed" is jargon and needs definition. Which calls into the USA question of what successful pollination is. If seed set is a result of government 1 18 321 pollination, then simple transfer of gametes is not. Thus the Noted

USA No scientific name included for 'red clover' or 'oil palm'. And 'red' government 1 18 322 18 323 does not need to be capitalized. Done USA "Hand pollination" needs definition, including if this is considered government 1 18 325 "abiotic" pollination. In the glossary Previously referred to as the 'oil palm weevil' in this document USA (on Pg.6, lines 60-61). Better to use the same common name government 1 18 327 18 327 throughout the same Chapter/Document for consistency. Done Another example for hand-pollinated crop; Yellow pitaya (Dag, A. and Mizrahi, Y. 2005. Effect of pollination method on on fruit set and fruit characteristics in the vine cactus Selenicereus Arnon Dag 1 18 328 18 332 megalanthus (“yellow pitaya”) J. Hort. Sci. Biotech. 80: 618-622.) Noted

Arnon Dag 1 18 330 18 332 Are you sure that they were hand pollinated from the beginning ? Yes, we are sure. Madeleine Chagnon 1 18 331 18 331 specify crop Noted This may be a picky point, but I am not entirely sure the proliferation of hand pollination in Maoxian County is simply the Andony product of "natural pollinator decline". There is some evidence Melathopoulos 1 18 332 18 332 that there are other reasons, particularly the low density of Done Rodrigo Bats are virtually absent from the text. I have prepared text to Medellin 1 18 334 22 374 illustrate bats as pollinators and their importance . I believe this Accepted. Waiting contribution.

This section is not full or clear enough for the complexity of UK Government 1 18 334 the issues Noted

David Cooper 1 18 335 18 335 "industrialized agriculture" are we clear about definition? Yes, we are sure.

"produces large quantitites of food per unit area" does it? David Cooper 1 18 335 18 338 Certainly does per unit labour. Check comaprisons. Noted

Diane Castle 1 18 336 18 338 This statement should be balanced by a comment on the benefits Noted UK Government 1 18 336 18 341 The statements in these two sentences need references Done

After 'agriculture' insert is often needed to' and change 'often' to Linda Field 1 18 337 18 338 After'maybe 'agriculture' a' and change insert 'high' is often to 'higher' needed and to' 'costs'and change to 'cost' 'often' to Noted MadeleineLinda Field 1 18 337 18 338 in'maybe contradiction a' and change with line 'high' 77 toand 'higher' 364 where and 'costs' it is said to 'cost'that Noted Chagnon 1 18 337 18 337 extensive agriculture produces more. Put all this together Done Barbara I am not sure this is accurate…please refer to the Foley article, Gemmill-Herren 1 18 340 18 341 quoted earlier, where he states: This 28% gain in production To be dealt by Romina.

BarbaraDavid Cooper 1 18 341 18 344 % figures. By what measure? To be dealt by Romina. GermanGemmill-Herren 1 19 346 19 347 Habitatsee comment loss is aboveone reason for declines in pollinator species and Done Government 1 19 346 19 351 individuals, but probably not the only one? If so, it would be Done

The first paragraph introduces the concept that dire consquences USA are likely. Does the following paragraph offer solutions? Please government 1 19 346 357 temper and clarify the writing. Done I would also argue that conserving native pollinators and their habitat is also important, but maybe this is not what you mean by technical solutions? I think this sentence needs rephrasing so that readers don't think technical solutions are the only solutions Katherine to the problem. Okay sorry this ies mentioned in the next Baldock 1 19 349 19 351 paragraph but thes epoints neeed to be tied together. I suggest Done Barbara why not mention changes in application of plant protection Gemmill-Herren 1 19 353 19 355 products/pesticides explicitly here, possibly the greatest factor? Done USA In the glossary, set aside fields are defined. Not set aside areas. government 1 19 353 Are these the same things? All areas are fields? Done There is no definition for agro-ecosystem service provided. I would suggest avoiding the term and being more precise, using the established terminology such as regulating ecosystem services (pollination, biocontrol or nutrient cycling) or any of the other services you have in mind here. Furthermore "modern Jens Dauber 1 19 356 19 356 agriculture" does not necessarily lead to land degradation. Noted

Akeem Ayofe There should be some examples of environmentally-friendly Akinwale 1 19 362 19 363 farming practices Done

the refs to "env firendly farming systems" and "organic farms" in the first and second sentances respectively either implies David Cooper 1 19 362 19 366 equivalenceThe effect described of these terms in previous or is an inompletesentence argument.is not because Definitions will be revised species richness is higher in organic fields. Organic fields are just one example of environmentally friendly farming UK Government 1 19 366 19 368 methods. Flower visitation and crop yield may be higher Done I am not sure how including this table is relevant to pollinators. Could you add information to this table about pollinators. For Katherine example, which systems require pollinators or are good for Baldock 1 19 372 22 373 pollinators? Table adjusted

Madeleine Chagnon 1 19 372 19 372 is this table relevant ? Considering the objectives of the report Table adjusted Severin Table …The same I propose the cowpea or beans in the first example. It is rich for Tchibozo 1 19 372 1…Example field the azote and attractive the pollinators. Accepted. Waiting contribution.

Table 1: Interesting table, but its relevance has not been UK Government 1 19 372 19 372 thoroughly explained. Table 1 redrafted Perhaps an unessessary table. No mention of the impacts of these different agricultural systems on pollinators. A table like this would be more suitable for a review of agricultural Mike Garratt 1 19 Table 1 19 Table 1 production rather than a peice on pollination for food Table 1 redrafted

Severin Crop Tchibozo 1 20 373 rotation I propose the cowpea or beans before maize. Table 1 redrafted In my opinion "traditional rural landscapes" are not a cropping system. Any type of cropping system described in the table could potentially be practised within a traditional rural landscape. It is Jens Dauber 1 21 Table 1 22 Table 1 also somewhat problematic to assume that social and ecological Table 1 redrafted

Organic farming'; as far as I know, those are not the definition for organic farming – they are using fertilizers, but from natural Arnon Dag 1 21 21 sources not synthetic ones. Table 1 redrafted All this issue of site-specific management is not relevant to Arnon Dag 1 21 21 organic farming but to precise agriculture and IPM management. Table 1 redrafted

What the relevance of ‘avoid pest and diseases’ - it’s completely opposite- in organic farming they allow certain level of of pest and diseases while in conventional, many time they have ‘zero Arnon Dag 1 21 21 tolerance’ for pest and diseases Table 1 redrafted I’m sorry, but this chapter is need to be rewritten with real information on managed pollinators – what are the species, their origin, their domestication, their adaptation for pollination, their Arnon Dag 1 22 375 23 416 contribution to pollination ect.. Noted and referred Currently it just provide ‘vague stories’ and do not handle the KatherineArnon Dag 1 22 375 23 Canreal furthertopic. This reference part is importantbe made to since Chapter the majority 5 alongside of crop text Refer to Simon Potts Baldock 1 22 375 23 416 explainingSection 1.5: that This Ch 5 section covers this appears topic inrequires more detail? clarity on why it Done USAUK Government 1 22 375 23 416 Appreciateis there, or the indeed inclusion what of it informationmeans. Need on traditional to be clearer and onlocal See 414-415 Sandhyagovernment 1 22 375 22 375 Canknowledge be supported to our scientificwith empirical understanding evidence (listingof pollinators of people, and See 414-415 Chandrasekhara 1 22 376 22 377 geographies, examples of their TK) In chapter 5 Akeem Ayofe There should be examples of cultural practices which serve as the Akinwale 1 22 378 22 378 driving force for local people throughout the world in chapter 5 Akeem Ayofe These should be a brief disscusion of an instance or instances Akinwale 1 22 379 22 379 where local people had a major destructive influence Done and cited Diamond 2005 USA government 1 22 379 380 This sentence does not seem to fit in this paragraph. Done

Katherine Please give an example of this to illustrate the point, referenced Baldock 1 23 379 23 380 if possible. Done How can traditional knowledge strenghten the capacity of Akeem Ayofe human societies to deal with disturbances and to maintain Akinwale 1 23 389 23 391 ecosystem services under conditions of uncertainty? Done Akeem Ayofe Why is the knowledge of the role of bees as pollinator not CanadianAkinwale 1 23 415 23 416 Isappreciated there a reference in many for other this soceities? statement or is the meaning that Are not? AndonyGovernment 1 23 415 416 Ithere am sure is little it will known be included about the in therole next of bees draft, as but pollinators? some mention Refer to chapter 5 Melathopoulos 1 24 419 26 476 needs to be made here of the new Kleijn et al. paper in Nature. Noted This chapter has very strong ‘ecological’ perspective (as the Send this comments to Chapters 2 and Arnon Dag 1 24 419 26 476 thesewhole two document sections has..). contain In the very title important you refer ideas to ‘pollinator and information 3 David Cooper 1 24 419 29 559 but are not always easy to follow as further specified in next two Refer tot he next two Section 1.6 on 'Pollinator behaviour and interactions' needs to incorporate the latest data and figures from Kleijn et .al. 2015 Deepa Nature communications paper that can be found at Senapathi 1 24 419 24 419 Thishttp://www.nature.com/ncomms/2015/150616/ncomms8414/ful sentence is misleading, one that read it might get the Noted Arnon Dag 1 24 422 24 425 impression that Osmaia lignaria has significant role in almond Done

No scientific name included for 'California almond'; and 'almond' USA should either be plural or followed by 'crops' (i.e. …pollinator government 1 24 424 24 424 California almond (Prunus (Amygdalus ) dulcis ) crops…) Done Andony This statement is incorrect and needs to be modified. From Rader Melathopoulos 1 24 426 24 428 et al. 2009: "we found that mean pollen loads deposited on To be dealt by Romina. Although it should be mentioned that the general interaction Andony between honey bees and non-Apis species in Garibalidi et al.'s Melathopoulos 1 24 426 24 431 (2013) meta-analysis was not significantly different from zero. Done

USA government 1 24 429 431 "…impacting fruit set" needs explanation Noted Alejandro Parra- Hinojosa 1 24 433 24 434 This has already been said Done David Aston 1 24 433 4 449 MaybeReference some should redundancy be made between to complementarity this and the notdiscussion alternatives on p27 Noted David Cooper 1 24 433 24 449 Deletecocnerning the first the sentence various mechanisms of the para. byIt iswhich repeated high onpollinator lines 442- Noted Linda Field 1 24 433 24 434 443. Noted Delete the first sentence of the para. It is repeated on lines 442- Linda Field 1 24 433 24 434 443. Noted Richard the Trust suggests that the word ‘abundance’ could be included Comont/Michae 1 24 433 24 433 in the glossary. Its definition relates both to the number of Done USA government 1 24 439 24 440 IStyle cannot consistency: agree on theitalicize conclusion all 'et al that.'s in farmers the document. will "have a crop Noted Alejandro Johan van Parra- Veen 1 24 446 24 449 should honey bees falter" I consider a more correct conclusion is Noted Hinojosa 1 24 447 24 448 "providing" and "provide" seems repetitive Done

David Aston 1 24 449 What does falter mean in this context? Emotive word Noted

KatherineDavid Cooper 1 25 451 25 471 AnI find important these two reference paras difficult to cite to here follow is Memmott 1999 as it is the Rewritten USABaldock 1 25 457 25 457 first published pollinator network. Full reference: Memmott 1999 Done Katherinegovernment 1 25 457 25 457 MoveSee previous the figure comment reference RE 'toet theal .' first sentence of these two as it Done Baldock 1 25 459 25 461 does not mke sense where it is. Done Montserrat Vilà 1 25 464 26 465 IThe feel sentence the writing in parentehsis under 1.7 Local, is not Landscape well understood and global impacts Done USAKR Shivanna 1 26 478 29 559 Theupon legend pollinators is not is clearly rather worded. diffuse and Include tends more to be metrics a bit repetitive. such as Noted government 1 26 Figure 6 the network uncovered during what time period. Noted

Linda Field 1 27 488 27 488 Insert 'how those' between 'and' and 'that have' Noted USALinda Field 1 27 488 27 488 ConsiderInsert 'how defining those' "lowbetween intensity 'and' management and 'that have' methods" and Noted USAgovernment 1 27 492 Non-cropother assoicated floral resources terms. need defintion and may not be beyond Done government 1 27 492 Imapping would expect more recent (2012-2014) references to Noted USA Johan van Veen 1 27 493 27 495 publications about pollinator declines in relation with Done government 1 27 495 496 Consider defining "declines in traditional beekeeping…" Noted Important section. clarify the various mechanisms: higher chance USADavid Cooper 1 27 508 28 522 Defineof presence the abbreviation of a more effective 'IPCC' the pollinator; first time redundancy it is used in amongthis Noted government 1 28 520 28 520 document (i.e. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change Noted Barbara The discussion on landscape context is very European- Gemmill-Herren 1 28 529 28 539 originated, and not easily understood in a more generalised way; Done

What about the issue of 'extensification'? Doesn´t it affect pollination? Or is it covered by the term 'land use change'? If so, German then why is specifically the issue of 'intensification' highlighted Government 1 28 529 28 529 separately? To be dealt by Romina.

USA government 1 28 535 536 Define homgeneous and heterogeneuous landscapes For Glossary

Montserrat Vilà 1 28 541 "land-use intensification" Done "social bee spp …. More strongky affected by isolation …. and by David Cooper 1 28 546 28 548 pesticides than soliatary bee spp." But see Rundolf et al Nature Done Replace "the complexity of the structure of human wellbeing"with : the complexity of what a good quality of life Sandra Diaz 1 29 173 entails" Done costs of frequent visitation. Explain how (or cross ref to later part David Cooper 1 29 555 29 556 of this or other chapter) Done Why not providing here real data from published papers on the Arnon Dag 1 29 561 30 593 economics of pollination (wild and managed pollinators) ? Done Somewhere in section 1.9 there should be a mention of the 'need Linda Field 1 29 561 29 561 for sustainable quantities of nutritious food' and ideally it should Done Somewhere in section 1.9 there should be a mention of the 'need Linda Field 1 29 561 29 561 for sustainable quantities of nutritious food' and ideally it should Done Madeleine Chagnon 1 29 561 34 709 there is ample information on this in chapters 5 and 6 Done USA government 1 29 563 "Most early pollination valuation studies HAVE centered…." Done Andony The predominace of SW approaches is not reflected in this Melathopoulos 1 29 565 29 570 section. One is left with the impression that, for example VP and Refer to Chapter 5

Linda Field 1 29 570 29 570 Add some refs on SW VP and RC Refer to Chapter 5

Linda Field 1 29 570 29 570 Add some refs on SW VP and RC Refer to Chapter 5 Andony "This multidimensional benefit is called value of pollination". Melathopoulos 1 29 572 29 578 There seems to be a paragraph missing. Up until now there have Refer to economic chapter Please replace with ”Nature (including biodiversity and ecosystems)” . this is because the boxes represent the elements, no the values, although the values are imbedded in some of the boxes and their connected arrows (see Díaz et al. 2015, section Sandra Diaz 1 29 582 on values and valuation). The intrinsic value of Nature is indeed Refer back to Simon

USA Modern agricultural ecosystems is unclear. "…there is usually government 1 29 32 more than….they vary among seasons" Refer back to Simon Madeleine Chagnon 1 30 590 30 590 this figure is the same as in Preface p.2 line 47 Done

‘Living in harmony with mother earth’ ‘Nature’s gift’ looks like Arnon Dag 1 30 591 30 592 poetry not like official/ scientific text Refer back to Simon USA Figure 7 - Reference to 'Mother Earth' seems rather unscientific government 1 30 591 30 593 for this document. Refer back to Simon

Section 1.9 - Pollinators, traditional knowledge and human well- being - This entire section uses terminology that is far too Deepa specialised for a general audience. Attempt needs to be made to Senapathi 1 30 594 31 627 explain the terms or make the language more simple. Refer back to Simon

Can this section be written in a way that is more understandable to non-specialists. Also more direct reference to pollinators Mike Garratt 1 30 594 31 620 would be helpful Refer back to Simon Section 1.9: This section needs to be much more closely UK Government 1 30 594 31 627 aligned to pollinators and pollination. Refer back to Simon Andony There is something that is quite problematic about this sentence. Melathopoulos 1 30 595 30 598 Utilitarianism emerges from 19th Century liberalism and is not Refer back to Simon There should be a clarification of the linkages between Akeem Ayofe anthropocentrism and globalization and neoliberalism as well as Akinwale 1 30 596 30 598 their consequences on the environment and people Refer back to Simon

There is a lot of discussion on neoliberal views, and an implied Barbara criticism of them (with which I might add, I personally do not Gemmill-Herren 1 30 596 30 598 disagree). But I think the UN might be shy of such direct criticsim Refer back to Simon

UK Government 1 30 596 30 596 Remove "to" co-inhabit Refer back to Simon For the sake of consistency within the assessment, please Sandra Diaz 1 30 606 Thisconsider general using section "indigenous is somewhat and local related knowledge but not (ILK)" fully compatiblerather Refer back to Simon Sandra Diaz 1 30 609 30 627 with the introductory section of Chapter 5. Although probably Refer back to Simon If this figure is to be included it needs a detailed legend to make clear what it means and what the numbers on the arrows refer Mike Garratt 1 30 Fig 7 30 Fig 7 to. Refer back to Simon

German Linking the value of pollination with IPBES' conceptual Government 1 30 Fig. 7 30 Fig. 7 framework is appreciated. Refer back to Simon

KR Shivanna 1 30 Figure 7 I find this figure difficult to comprehend. Refer back to Simon Deepa Senapathi 1 31 600 31 603 Reference required for this statement. Refer back to Simon

If ILK is appropriate here it would be best to use terminology consistent with other IPBES documents. Otherwise, an Canadian explanation of the differences in the two terms should be Government 1 31 606 provided. Refer back to Simon The IPBES seems to generally use the term local and indigenous knowledge (ILK). Here the term "indigenous and traditional knowledge" (ITK) is used. Are there any reasons for using ITK and German not ILK? If so a footnote explaining the differences between the Government 1 31 606 31 606 use of ITK and ILK would be appreciated. Refer back to Simon USA The 'ITK' abbreviation seems unnecessary, given that it is only government 1 31 606 31 606 used once on line 626. Better to just use the fully spelled out Refer back to Simon What I am missing in this section is a clear call for the Jan Axmacher 1 31 629 32 656 requirement of additional research, particularly into currently Christian to deal with

I feel that under 1.10 Ensuring pollination services for the future, it is better to highlight points that lack of effective regulations and more importantly lack of effective implementation in most of KR Shivanna 1 31 629 32 656 the developing countries. Christian to deal with Section 1.10: This section needs a paragraph on pesticide and pesticide regulation and risk assessment. Surprised the neonic debate and bans have not been considered here as they may well affect pollinators, and food productions UK Government 1 31 629 31 629 separately (and together). Christian to deal with This section is problematic as it does not separate features such as honey bee disease legislation (i.e., the North American 'Bee Acts' of the 1920s which were brought about primarily to prevent the spread of Paenibacillus larvae ), pesticide-regulation Andony (beginning in the 1970s) and agri-environmental programs Melathopoulos 1 32 630 32 656 (beginning in the 1990s). These historical dimensions of Christian to deal with I would rather say, it is surprising that there is such a dearth of laws, etc….there really are not many, and almost all apply to honey bees alone. You could rephrase this, to say that the Barbara coverage is spotty…but this should be coordianted with Chapter USAGemmill-Herren 1 32 630 32 632 Itsix, might and theirbe worth final alsomessage, mentioning I would here, think the various laws related Christian to deal with government 1 32 639 32 656 Pleaseto management, consider using conservation the IPBES and/or CF and protection IPBES 3D categoriesof birds, bats, of Christian to deal with Sandra Diaz 1 33 662 33 663 values, which are instrumental (incluiding monetary and non- Refer to people in chapter 4

Alejandro Parra- Hinojosa 1 33 668 34 708 TheseNot necessary pollination to describetrends (sharp the content decline), of asnext worded, chapters. seems to Noted Sandra Diaz 1 33 670 33 671 "Economicbelong more and to non-marketedChapter 3 than values" to this pleaseChapter. see comment above Done Sandra Diaz 1 33 678 concerning the use of the CF and Document 3D categories of Done

Check references (although I assume this will automatically be Jan Axmacher 1 34 720 34 720 done during final editing) Noted

Linda Field 1 37 848 37 856 This ref is the same as the one above (lines 839 - 847) Noted

Linda Field 1 37 848 37 856 This ref is the same as the one above (lines 839 - 847) Noted

UK Government 1 40 981 40 982 Where is this published? Will complete reference page 562, General addition on economic value in US $ of Wild Hamid Ahmad 1 562 Bees. Latest Paris,France based Study. Refer to chapter 4 people. The crop production value of wild bees , Nature Communications 6, Article number: 7414 Hamid Ahmad 1 562 doi:10.1038/ncomms8414On average, wild bee communities Refer to chapter 4 people. −1 Hamid Ahmad 1 562 Sectionscontributed 1.5 and$3,251 ha 1.8. Please to consider production replacing of the "human examined well- crops Refer to chapter 4 people. Sandra Diaz 1 general being"This chapter with "a coversgood quality all that of islife" needed to make and it morefairly consistentsuccinctly, Done however it does cover more general work than specifically UK Government 1 General pollination for food production - but to an extent this is Noted General Crop ield /quality is not always dependent upon 100% David Aston 1 Comment pollination. Rxamples I clude the need to thin fruit such as apples Noted

General Much of the content of this chapter seems irrelevant to food David Aston 1 Comment production Noted

Chapter 1 is well structured. In general, the information in this chapter is provided in a user-friendly format. We also appreciate the description of the different forms of knowlege and practices on beekeeping, and the visualisation of information in graphs. We also welcome references made on findings in IPCC assessments. We would appreciate a brief note on how the assessment D3A could benefit the other IPBES deliverables, especially because it is a fast track assessment that is available while the assessments of other IPBES deliverables are still ongoing. This interlinkage between the assessments outlined in chapter 2 of D3A on the impacts of degradation and invasive German General speecis on pollinators and pollination should be reflected in the Government 1 Comment assessments D3b(i); D3b(ii) and D3b(iii). Noted

German General It would be appreciated if a list of abbreviations/acronyms for Government 1 Comment the whole assessment is included. To be done for entire document General comment - this scoping for this assessment made clear the need for other considerations than just food production. We are concerned that critical areas such as interactions with indigenous peoples forest products for non food use eg Geoff Hicks 1 page 9 line 110 pharmaceuticals are not given sufficient weight. Noted in Noth America, Argentina (Roig Alsina 2006) and Australia Juan Pablo (Pitts-Singer & Cane 2011) Roig-Alsina, A. (2006). Hylaeus Torretta 1 58 punctatus (Brullé) (Colletidae), a palaearctic bee long established Accepted. Waiting contribution. Caroline O 107-108 Pollinators also contribute to availability of medicinal Akachuku 1 107 108 plants and other raw materials. Beyond the scope of the document

Juan Pablo compatible stigma (the receptive surface of the female part of a Torretta 1 167 flower) Flower will be redrawn

Juan Pablo Torretta 1 185 except, specialist cases (e.g., Yucca-Tegticcula) Noted

see comment above - to the effect that since 2007 so many more species have been documented as being important crop Barbara pollinators…I think the review is remiss to only use the Klein Gemmill-Herren 1 245 246 data, and not take stock of what has been documented since. Noted There is a review paper underway let by Romina Rader on fly Barbara pollination; have you checked with her on what might be used Gemmill-Herren 1 248 251 here? Noted Caroline O 273-274 Mordern beekeeping also allow beekeepers to harvest Akachuku 1 273 274 ripe/sealed honeycombs. Noted Caroline O 283 The drawbacks also include difficulties in harvesting only Akachuku 1 283 ripe/sealed honeycombs. Noted The indigenous and local communities inhabiting extreme Promila Kapoor 1 359 366 environments (with prevailing high or extreme low For ILK chapter

382 For example, there is a belief in Abriba, Abia state of Nigeria that when honeybees buzz around any piece of land, it signifies Caroline O that the land is a virgin land and will support agricultural Akachuku 1 382 prodcution. Noted 526 These changes may also reduce the activites of the Caroline O pollinators especially when certain flowering plants fail to flower Akachuku 1 526 at the right period as a result of climate change Noted Barbara This sentence is not easy to understand by non-specialists; could Gemmill-Herren 1 555 556 you better explain the implications? Sentence redrafted Barbara these comments on established but not complete are already a Gemmill-Herren 1 6 61 bit distracting/annoying - but this one says established but Noted Barbara Gemmill-Herren 1 114 varies rather than does vary Accepted. Waiting contribution. this graph is confusing, and seems to be referring to both breeding systems and experimental procedures (bagged, emasculated virgins). I Barbara think it may provoke horror in some non-technical readers, and should Gemmill-Herren 1 12 209 not include the boxes in the middle, only on the right and left Removed

Barbara Gemmill-Herren 1 23 398 are linked, rather than is linked Accepted. Waiting contribution.

Barbara problematizes is not a verb in english- the language here needs Gemmill-Herren 1 31 618 to be carefully edited Accepted. Waiting contribution.

Barbara Gemmill-Herren 1 31 629 legalities is not the right word- legal structures? Noted General comment: From an agricultural perspective, it would be Norwegian helpful if the text distinguished between the production of Government 1 reproductive material (i.e. seeds), and the production of Noted Congratulations to everyone involved on this impressive piece of work; the IPBES pollination assessment is shaping up to be a really valuable contribution. I am now comfortable that the assessment builds on and reflects in appropriate ways the Thomas Brooks General various contributions from IUCN on the subject of pollination, Noted All chapter headings should be placed at the beginning of each USA General heading. For example, Chapter 1, Background, 1.1 should be at government Comment the start of line 4. For example, Chapter 2, Line 3 page 5 should Noted As with many group drafted documents, this draft is in need of a USA General good editorial review, for both grammar and style consistencies. government Comment In particular, our reviewers have noted many scientific names are Noted. To be done by the copy editor. There are sections of the document which speak directly about USA General trying to convince policy makers of something, or to take some government Comment action. Our government scientists do not advocate, but strive to Noted.

I was impressed with the scope & depth of the assessment. Although I devoted most of my time to the Preface and the Summary for Policy Makers, I did look at all chapters and I believe that each provides a very useful global scale synthesis. I USA General think that the Assessment will be very useful in framing government Comment discussions going forward. Noted. Reviewer Chapter Section From From Line To Page To Line Comment Author response ID Page (start) (end) (end) (start) Alejandro 2 ES 5 13 5 13 More than fertilisers, agrochemicals like insecticides are The pesticide point is throughly dealt with in Parra- in fact the threat to the pollinators. Must be clarified. two separate key finding statements in the ES Hinojosa Alejandro 2 Intro 11 175 11 176 Hence, it has been practically mentioned all kind of bees. Herewith we want to make explicit, that we Parra- Omit then what is in parentheses. deal with the entire spectrum (which might Hinojosa not be clear otherwise to non-specialist readers) Alejandro 2 Land 21 511 21 511 Include a reference Done. Parra- manageme Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Land 24 585 24 586 Define "visit" in terms of time. changed to bout Parra- manageme Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Land 25 638 25 640 Here, then has to be considered (as another example) the Certainly, for a reference is missing. Parra- manageme coffee variety cultivated, since there are significant Hinojosa nt differences between coffee for agroforestry and coffe for open areas. Alejandro 2 Land 26 648 26 648 Omit "logged" Deleted sentence. Parra- manageme Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Land 26 648 26 652 Rewrite this paragraph, the use of the term "logged" - Logged is deleted. Parra- manageme "logging" appears repetitive Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Land 27 698 28 713 Has been use the term "per annun" but later is used Changed to "per year". Parra- manageme "tons/yr"; Should homogenized the expression. Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Land 29 760 29 765 In the andean region the grazing is one of the most Thank you for your note. Parra- manageme evident process of land transformation. Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Land 32 857 32 857 Consider another word instead "extirpating" Changed to eliminating. Parra- manageme Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Land 32 860 32 860 There is a problem to be considered as example and Thank you for the suggestion, but to Parra- manageme related with burning in indigenous lands, since is in this incorporate this aspect recommendation on a Hinojosa nt case is a cultural practice too. peer-reviewed paper would be needed to cite. Alejandro 2 Land 35 934 35 934 Increased with increasing seems redundant Revised. Parra- manageme Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Land 36 992 36 993 Explain what "citizen science data" means. This study has now been described in more Parra- manageme detail and explains how data were collected. Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Land 37 1015 37 1016 Hence, there is a redundancy since diversity is a measure Richness is deleted. Parra- manageme of richness and abundance. Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Land 38 1054 38 1054 There is an extra space between "and" and " ," Deleted. Parra- manageme Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Pesticides 40 1121 40 1121 It will be better to refer as "purchasing capacity" instead amended Parra- "purchasing power" Hinojosa Alejandro 2 Pesticides 44 1249 44 1250 So repetitive: "assessment", "assessing" and "assessment" amended Parra- again in a single sentence. Hinojosa Alejandro 2 Pesticides 49 1404 49 1407 Some references about the effect of neonicotinoids these citations are not related to the econmic Parra- (related to seed blindage): benefits Hinojosa doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0029268, doi: 10.1016/j.neuint.2012.09.020 and 10.1371/journal.pone.0030023. Alejandro 2 Pesticides 63 1826 63 1826 Detail "hive matizes" added Parra- Hinojosa Alejandro 2 Pesticides 67 1960 67 1961 Once the acronym is used, is not necessary to explicit it amended Parra- again. Hinojosa Alejandro 2 Diseases 73 2148 73 2148 Not only "domesticated" corrected Parra- Hinojosa Alejandro 2 Diseases 73 2163 73 2163 It seems that the behaviour of seed collecting by some Thank zou for this information, however Parra- Melipona is related to to the antibacterial properties of defense mechanisms description was deleted Hinojosa these seeds and just the most important parts were moved into other subsections. Alejandro 2 Diseases 74 2193 74 2193 "Saccharibacter" is a genus, then must be written in italic. corrected Parra- On the other hand it´s a Gram-negative bacteria, then Hinojosa why to separate it from section 2.4.1.4.3...

Alejandro 2 Diseases 75 2208 75 2219 In a general manner, soliary bees´ nests die by Yes, you are righ, that is absolutely true. Parra- establishment of generalist fungi when humidity is However, we concentrated on other fungi Hinojosa uncontrollable. See doi.org/10.1098/rspb.2015.0212 related effects.

Alejandro 2 Bee 76 2256 76 2258 Repetitive did not modify as some redundency is Parra- manageme acceptable Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Bee 77 2279 77 2279 It is inaccurate claim that propolis could represent a The statement is that bee products can move Parra- manageme vector for diseases. disease and while it is less likley with propolis Hinojosa nt it is still possible that propolis can contain AFB spores or other pathogens.

Alejandro 2 Bee 77 2298 77 2298 Place an space between author and year in the Roubik & Done Parra- manageme Wolda citation Hinojosa nt Alejandro 2 Invasives 90 2693 90 2693 Must take care with nomenclature Two typos of scutella replaced with correct Parra- scutellata Hinojosa Alejandro 2 Climate 96 2878 96 2878 Check citation format done Parra- change Hinojosa Alejandro 2 Multiple 109 3284 110 3336 It should be synthesized this issue more objectively for we have done our best to ensure that the Parra- effects avoid repetition paragraphs do not become unduly Hinojosa repetituous, the separate paragraphs do however make distinct points (sometimes arising from peer review feedback) and so we have justification in maintaing the overall strucutre here. We hope you understand and thanks for your feedback. Alejandro 2 Multiple 112 3376 112 3376 Globalization or globalisation? US English now used Parra- effects Hinojosa Anders 2 Land use 12 209 12 209 Grazing can also halt scrub encroachment and facilitate Following this, and as this is discussed more Nielsen diversity of flowering plants, e.g. by defining the treeline thoroughly later in the chapter (section on towards the alpine (Speed, J. D. M., G. Austrheim, A. J. pastures and rangelands), we warn the reader Hester, and A. Mysterud. 2010. Experimental evidence for about these points and refer to that section. herbivore limitation of the treeline. Ecology 91:3414- 3420) or by upholding flower diversity in grazinga areas that would otherwise be dominated by grasses and ultimately forested through succession (Sjødin, N. E., J. Bengtsson, and B. Ekbom. 2008. The influence of grazing intensity and landscape composition on the diversity and abundance of flower-visiting insects. Journal of Applied Ecology 45:763-772. and Vulliamy, B., S. G. Potts, and P. G. Willmer. 2006. The effects of cattle grazing on plant- pollinator communities in a fragmented Mediterranean landscape. Oikos 114:529-543.). See also page 29, line 760-762 and page 30, line 786-787 and page 38, line1058- 1062

Anders 2 Land 20 466 20 466 Land management such as agricultural and conservation Done. Nielsen manageme practices have a… nt Anders 2 Land 20 477 20 477 … within-field wild plants, crops… Done. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 21 489 21 491 Rephrase sentense Done. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 21 491 21 491 This pattern was most apparent in Mediterranean and Rephrased acc. to comment 267. Nielsen manageme teperate regions… nt Anders 2 Land 21 493 21 494 … pollinator community composition and pollinator trait Revised sentence acc. to comment 271. Nielsen manageme diversity, which can be important for… nt Anders 2 Land 21 501 21 501 …conventional fields plants receiving insufficient We deleted this part of the sentence. Nielsen manageme pollination dominated, presumably due to pollinator nt deficit (Gabr..). Anders 2 Land 21 510 21 511 Rephrase sentense Done. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 22 528 22 532 Move this to section 2.2.2.1.2? We would rather keep it there,as it fits to the Nielsen manageme management system effects. nt Anders 2 Land 22 539 22 539 Does "it" refer to "polyculture systems"? Yes, revised. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 22 544 22 545 ...the next floral season. Of what? …of maize. Added. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 22 549 22 549 … on insect pollination world wide. The sentence was deleted to avoid repetation Nielsen manageme through the assesment. nt Anders 2 Land 23 558 23 560 Odd sentence Revised sentence. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 23 569 23 569 …2009), but also for crop yield. Added. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 23 576 23 577 Wild flowers left in crop fields… Done. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 24 587 24 587 Mass flowering crops receive… Done. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 24 593 24 594 Rephrase last part of sentense Revised. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 24 594 24 603 … mass flowering… Corrected. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 25 628 25 640 Ricketts (2004) - parentheses around year published not Done Nielsen manageme the entire reference nt Anders 2 Land 26 664 27 688 It might be worth noting that different forests are Details on boreal forests are included. Nielsen manageme adapted to different disturbance regimes. For example nt the boreal forest are (at least historically) adapted to intense fires with subsequent regrowth of the vegetation. Logging will in that sense to a certain degree resemble a more "natural" disturbance process. This might not be the case in e.g. tropical forests. It also matters what becomes of the logged forest; regenerated forest containing a relatively similar tree species composition or oilpalm fields or sitka spruce plantations will have obivious differences in impact. Anders 2 Land 29 757 29 757 …ecosystems through selective vegetation consumption… Done. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 29 758 29 758 These alterations affect plant production and the amount Done. Nielsen manageme of floral and nesting resources available… nt Anders 2 Land 29 767 29 767 Find a better wording than "the flower-pollinator mutual Mutual structure is changed to "network". Nielsen manageme structure" nt Anders 2 Land 32 843 32 844 … as are ground-nesting bee species… Done. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Land 35 959 35 963 What did Baldock et al. (2015) and Deguines et al. (2012) We have added a summary of findings for Nielsen manageme find? Se line 975 both studies. nt Anders 2 Land 37 1004 37 1006 "The pollinator corridor" established in Oslo, Norway There are many initiatives such as this in Nielsen manageme could be mentioned as a management effort to increase many countries, including the B-Lines projects nt the available amount of nesting and floral resources in the UK. However to our knowledge none of throughout the city (pollinatorpasasjen.no/intro) In these initiatives have published scientific Norwegian though studies showing that these activities are (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jun/25 beneficial for pollinating insects. We are not /oslo-creates-worlds-first-highway-to-protect- sure that mentioning these initiatives falls endangered-bees) within the remit of the IPBES report and so have not added any further text. Anders 2 Land 37 1015 37 1016 Use either "richness" or "diversity" Richness is deleted. Nielsen manageme nt Anders 2 Climate 93 2786 93 2786 Hegland et al. (2009) could be added to the reference by done Nielsen change Memmott Anders 2 Climate 98 2959 98 2959 Include reference to Memmott et al. (2007) done Nielsen change Anders 2 Climate 99 2978 99 2981 Jeff Ollerton and colleagues did an experiment where We have checked and asked the reviewer Nielsen change they removed all floewers of the most visited species to directly; unfortunately there is only recent se what the pollinators did. They showed clearly that the conference contribution which can't be pollinators switched to the second most visited plant included because of the deadline (and which species. I saw this at a conference and I have not been also is not really a citable publication) able to find a good reference so it might not be published yet. If found it might be included in the discussion here.

Anders 2 Climate 102 3088 103 3097 I find this paragraph a bit odd. Should be rephrased We tried to rephrase this Nielsen change Anders 2 Climate 103 3101 103 3101 Define "services" We added: "(like pollination)" Nielsen change Anders 2 Multiple 106 3192 106 3192 Something strange in the sentense here Now reads: Changes in land-use or climate, Nielsen effects intensive agricultural management and pesticide use, invasive alien species and pathogens affect as well as directly affecting pollinator health, abundance, diversity and pollination services (Sections 2.2-2.6). Moreover these multiple direct drivers also have the potential to combine, synergistically or additively, in their effects leading to an overall increase in the pressure on pollinators and pollination (González-Varo et al., 2013; Goulson et al., 2015; Vanbergen and the Insect Pollinators Initiative, 2013).

Andreas 2 Land 29 774 29 775 The cited study (Kruess and Tscharntke 2002) was carried Corrected. Kruess manageme out in northern Germany not around the Mediterranean nt Andreas 2 Invasives 85 2533 85 2535 It would help for clarification to give precisely the We have added the suggested text to be Kruess definitions as given in the cited publication because precise, edited slightly for flow and readability is important and also the focus on : “Alien invasive species” means an alien species which becomes established in natural or semi-natural ecosystems or habitat, is an agent of change, and threatens native biological diversity. “Alien species” (non-native, non- indigenous, foreign, exotic) means a species, subspecies, or lower taxon occurring outside of its natural range (past or present) and dispersal potential (i.e. outside the range it occupies naturally or could not occupy without direct or indirect introduction or care by humans) and includes any part, gametes or propagule of such species that might survive and subsequently reproduce

Andreas 2 Climate 101 3036 101 3038 A remark to the note: In general it is to be expected that We agree, but this is true for both groups Kruess change availability of suitable habitats and requisites will be of considered here and thus we don not greater importance than the potential of highlight this here individual/species climate adaptation Andrew 2 Diseases 74 2245 78 2313 This section might be improved by discussing efforts added new text on line 2309 with reference Lewis being made to improve the efficiency of use of honey bees as pollinators by optimizing intra-orchard hive location. Http://www.beeswax.me.uk http://almopol.com/ Andrew 2 Bee 84 2510 84 2524 There should be an upbeat addition to the conclusion to thank you for this comment, however, here Lewis manageme the effect that work into optimization of intra-orchard we are dealing with the effect bee nt beehive location may bring beneficial results to counter managment has on pollinator decline, not the difficulties face by losses of popolations of species how it is solving wild pollinator losses. through disease etc. Http://www.beeswax.me.uk http://almopol.com/ Athayde 2 ES 6 34 6 35 to say that "lethality increases with inappropriate use" is OK, but it is an important point to make clear Tonhasca, a truism in this context of this global assessment, for example where regulation of education is limiting, negative environmentla impact may be worse.

Athayde 2 Land use 13 250 13 257 data indicate that butterflies have no relevance as We do not understand what the reviewer Tonhasca, pollinators in the UK; this segment suggests otherwise. means when saying that butterflies have "no relevance as pollinators". Butterflies are efficient pollinators, which are in many cases associated with their host plants in very specialized ways (see for example Chapter 1). The data reviewed in Potts et al, 2010 shows that butterflies have already started to show decline, and further, that probably the data related to butterflis is the best data we have to now on this topic. The fact that one of the studies done in the UK (Biesmeijer et al, 2006) and mentioned in Potts et al (2010) does not include butterflies, but only bees and hoverflies, does not mean that butterflies play no role in pollination. For these reasons, we have decided to maintain the sentence as it initially appeared.

Athayde 2 Pesticides 50 1448 50 1448 Suggested addition to the table: Moffat et al 2015 Added Tonhasca, (Chronic exposure to neonicotinoids increases neuronal vulnerability to mitochondrial dysfunction in the bumblebee (Bombus terrestris)) have shown that miniscule volumes of neocots accumulate in B. terrestris brains and deficits in colony growth.

Canadian 2 GMO 57 1654 It should be noted that GMOs may contain one or more done Governmen introduced transgenes t Carolina 2 Diseases 67 1988 67 1988 Reference to add: Goulson D, Nicholls E, Botías C, added Goulson et al. 2015 Morales Rotheray EL (2015) Bee declines driven by combined stress from parasites , pesticides , and lack of flowers. 2010:1–16. Carolina 2 Diseases 68 1992 68 1992 In Table 2.4.1, In the line Israeli acute paralysis virus added Bombus and reference to Table Morales (IAPV), please add Bombus spp. as another reported host, source: Goulson D, Hughes WOH (2015) Mitigating the anthropogenic spread of bee parasites to protect wild pollinators. Biol Conserv 191:10–19. doi: 10.1016/j.biocon.2015.06.023 and references therein

Carolina 2 Diseases 68 1992 68 1992 In Table 2.4.1, In the line Lake Sinai Virus (LSV) add added Bombus and reference to Table Morales Bombus spp. as a reported host, source: Gamboa V, Ravoet J, Brunain M, et al (2015) Bee pathogens found in Bombus atratus from Colombia: A case study. J Invertebr Pathol. doi: 10.1016/j.jip.2015.05.013 (in press)

Carolina 2 Diseases 68 1992 68 1992 In Table 2.4.1, In the line Sacbrood virus（SBV), please done Morales add Bombus spp. as another reported host, source: Goulson D, Hughes WOH (2015) Mitigating the anthropogenic spread of bee parasites to protect wild pollinators. Biol Conserv 191:10–19. doi: 10.1016/j.biocon.2015.06.023 and references therein

Carolina 2 Diseases 68 1992 68 1992 In Table 2.4.1, In the line Apicystis (=Mattesia)bombi, add done Morales Apis mellifera as another reported host. Source: the references 19 quoted in the same line

Carolina 2 Diseases 69 2030 69 2031 I would add "geographical" in: "The wide host and Done Morales geographical range" because the spatial extent is also of epidemiological relevance Carolina 2 Diseases 71 2101 71 2101 Here the paragraph turns from Crithidia bombi to We refer actually to C. bombi, not A. bombi, Morales another different Protoza, Apicystis bombi, hence please as erroneously typed, thanks for highligting. start the Sentence with the complete species name: Next sentence fixed accordingly. Apicystis bombi (Liu, MacFarlane y Pengelly; Neogregarinida: Ophrocystidae) Carolina 2 Diseases 71 2102 71 2102 Reference to add after Otterstater et al. 2005: Gamboa V, It is not clear that this reference is adding to Morales Ravoet J, Brunain M, et al (2015) Bee pathogens found in our text. Bombus atratus from Colombia: A case study. J Invertebr Pathol. doi: 10.1016/j.jip.2015.05.013. in press

Carolina 2 Diseases 71 2111 72 2115 Not clear whether those effect demostrated for C. bombi True. Corrected. Morales and N. bombi have also been demostrated for Locustacarus or inferred from extensive spread whithin host colonies Carolina 2 Diseases 72 2118 72 2120 However, in colonial bees where the queen is the only Corrected accordingly Morales egg-laying female, diseases that affect queens may have strong population consequences Carolina 2 Bee 77 2280 77 2282 honeybee pollen used to feed managed bumblebee hives added reference to bee pollen and Morales manageme can also spread bee diseases (Graystock et al. 2013 bumblebee disease spread nt quoted in this chapter ) Carolina 2 Bee 77 2296 77 2298 The following two papers, "Thomson, D. (2004). added two Thompson references to support Morales manageme Competitive interactions between the invasive European competition argument nt honey bee and native bumble bees. Ecology, 85(2), 458- 470" and "Thomson, D. M. (2006). Detecting the effects of introduced species: a case study of competition between Apis and Bombus. Oikos, 114(3), 407-418" provide strong evidence based on a comprehensive experimental study that Apis competitively suppresses a native social bee (Bombus occidentalis), through changes in colony foraging behaviour (lower mean rates of forager return and a lower ratio of foraging trips for pollen relative to nectar) that translated into reduced male and female reproductive success Carolina 2 Bee 78 2320 78 2321 considering that >230 Bombus species are known Added Morales manageme worldwide, a third less explored kind of risk is the nt reproductive interference due to interspecific mating between introduced and native bumblebee species, see: Kanbe Y., Okada I., Yoneda M., Goka K., Tsuchida K. (2008) Interspecific mating of the introduced bumblebee Bombus terrestris and the native Japanese bumblebee Bombus hypocrita sapporoensis results in inviable hybrids, Naturwissenschaften, 95, 1003–1008.

Carolina 2 Bee 78 2332 78 2332 Recent relevant citation where an uptodate list of The list has also been built in section 2.4.1.2 Morales manageme bumbleebee pathogens reported in the literature is nt provided: Goulson D, Hughes WOH (2015) Mitigating the anthropogenic spread of bee parasites to protect wild pollinators. Biol Conserv 191:10–19. doi: 10.1016/j.biocon.2015.06.023 Carolina 2 Bee 81 2403 81 2408 Although hybridization has been only demostrated at the True. Modified accordingly. Morales manageme intraspecific level, interspecific mating can lead to nt reproductive failure, even if no hybrid descendence is produced (see coment above in this spreadsheet) Carolina 2 Bee 81 2411 81 2411 In Table 2.4.2, For the line "Bombus terrestris dalmatinus Added. Morales manageme (Europe 1997, Asia 1992, South America 1998)", add nt under the column "Negative effects on wild pollinators": displacement of native bumblebee (HIGH CONFIDENCE) due to a potential combination of competition for resources and pathogen spillover, sources: Morales CL, Arbetman MP, Cameron SA, Aizen MA (2013) Rapid ecological replacement of a native bumble bee by invasive species. Front Ecol Environ 11:529–534. doi: 10.1890/120321; Schmid-Hempel R, Eckhardt M, Goulson D, et al (2013) The invasion of southern South America by imported bumblebees and associated parasites. J Anim Ecol. doi: 10.1111/1365-2656.12185; Arbetman MP, Meeus I, Morales CL, et al (2013) Alien parasite hitchhikes to Patagonia on invasive bumblebee. Biol Invasions 15:489–494. doi: 10.1007/s10530-012-0311-0

Carolina 2 Bee 81 2424 81 2428 Poverty alleviation is not the only and probably not the this paragraph was deleted as some of the Morales manageme main reason for Meliponiculture to persist. This information was doubling after correcting the nt traditional use of native melipon bees in the Americas section according to the reviewrs suggestion comes from the prehispanic times and hence, has a strong cultural value in many cultures and peoples. Source: Guzman M y Vandame R . (2015). Manejo de las abejas sin aguijón en Mesoamérica. 77pg. Jalisco, Mexico.

Carolina 2 Bee 83 2481 23 2481 Megachile rotundata also introduced to South America, corrected, thank you for this information Morales manageme source: Ruz, L. (2002). Bee pollinators introduced to Chile: nt a review. Pollinating Bees. The conservation link between agriculture and Nature, Ministry of Environment, Brasil, 155-167. Carolina 2 Bee 2248 2252 See "Aizen, M.A. & L.D. Harder (2009) The global stock of added Morales manageme domesticated honey bees is growing slower than nt agricultural demand for pollination. Current Biology 19: 915-918" for global trends on number of honeybee hives and disussion of potential drivers Chiara 2 Land use 12 216 12 216 and at the global scale' is redundant The use of "most continents' and 'global scale' Polce is not redundant, since there are continents where that trend is not present, although the increase in croplands is indeed the global trend. The sentence has been reorganized to reflect this.

Chiara 2 Land use 12 231 12 232 In relation to the claim that most studies have focused on This has been now clarified. Polce bees (line 231), it is not clear from the next sentence what the authors consider as 'pollinators', and therefore if their review will be limited to 'bees' or will also expand to non-bees pollinators (albeit available evidence might be scarce).

Chiara 2 Land use 13 245 13 245 Why 'Instead of leading to habitat loss'? Consider using See point 146 Polce 'In addition to habitat loss' Chiara 2 Land use 13 262 13 262 Why is 'vitality' within ""? Can it be better defined? (e.g., This is the wording used in the initial Polce colony strength, if this is its meaning, or…?). 'Vitality of anthropological investigation. The mention bees': can 'bees' be replaced by a more specific definition, "[sic]' has been now added to clarify this. if, for instance, it refers only to honeybees?

Chiara 2 Land use 16 341 16 341 Add a word after 'these' --> affected by these…?? see comment 207. Polce Chiara 2 Land use 17 377 17 378 Replace 'decreases' with 'decrease', replace 'it negatively done Polce affects' with 'they negatively affect. In both cases, the subjects are 'habitat fragmentation and patch size'

Chiara 2 Land 21 494 21 494 A full stop is missing before 'Increased numbers'. Done. Polce manageme nt Chiara 2 Land 25 627 25 627 Move citation before th efull stop. Done Polce manageme nt Chiara 2 Land 25 628 25 632 Edit citations so that, when relevant, authors are moved Done Polce manageme outside the brackets. nt Chiara 2 Land 27 701 27 701 Replace 'benefitial' with 'beneficial' Done. Polce manageme nt Chiara 2 Land 30 789 30 780 Missing reference at the end of the sentence Added. Polce manageme nt Chiara 2 Land 32 865 32 865 Insert something like 'Some studies, however', at the Done. Polce manageme beginning of this sentence, since it provides a contrasting nt evidence to what stated before. Chiara 2 Land 33 897 33 897 Misspelt reference (Garrat --> Garratt) Corrected. Polce manageme nt Chiara 2 Land 34 925 34 925 Replace 'within for example in cherry and almonds', with Done. Polce manageme ', for example, within cherry and almond orchards' nt Chiara 2 Land 34 929 34 929 distance in' should probably be 'distance at' Changed. Polce manageme nt Chiara 2 Bee 77 2289 77 2289 Missing full stop after '2015)' changed Polce manageme nt Chiara 2 Bee 77 2299 77 2299 Remove second 'that', possibly replace it with 'then' changed Polce manageme nt Chiara 2 Bee 78 2303 78 2303 Insert a comma ',' between 'spread' and 'modern' --> done Polce manageme 'spread, modern' nt Chiara 2 Bee 78 2306 78 2306 Replace 'were' by 'where' changed Polce manageme nt Chiara 2 Bee 78 2307 78 2307 Insert space in 'useof' --> 'use of' done Polce manageme nt Chiara 2 Bee 78 2311 78 2311 and or be used' does not read well, consider replacing done Polce manageme with 'and used to' nt Chiara 2 Bee 78 2312 78 2312 Insert comma after 'Currently', remove semicolon after done Polce manageme 'production' nt Chiara 2 Bee 81 2403 81 2403 For consistency with the rest of the text, replace 'bumble Done Polce manageme bees' with 'bumblebees' nt Chiara 2 Bee 84 2502 84 2502 Insert 'they' between 'where' and 'started' --> 'where corrected Polce manageme they started' nt Chiara 2 Bee 84 2505 84 2505 Not clear to whom 'its impact' refers to (e.g. 'Disease corrected Polce manageme spread'?) nt Chiara 2 Bee 84 2506 84 2506 large aggregation size may pose a threat of spreading corrected Polce manageme diseases': what does 'large aggregation size' mean? nt Consider replacing 'may pose a threat of spreading diseases' with 'may cause disease spread (or facilitate disease spread, or increase the risk of spreading diseases)'. Chiara 2 Bee 84 2514 84 2514 Insert comma between 'decline' and 'are' --> 'decline, are' done Polce manageme nt Chiara 2 Bee 84 2517 84 2518 Consider replacing 'in spite of the negative effects it has.' done Polce manageme with 'in spite of its negative effects.' nt Chiara 2 Bee 84 2518 84 2519 Re-organise the first part of this sentence: (e.g.) 'If corrected Polce manageme pollinator-friendly habitates cannot be created, it is nt advisable to manage native rather than non-native bee species, …' Chiara 2 Bee 84 2521 84 2522 Move 'are still scarce' to the end of the sentence --> done Polce manageme 'Empirical studies on the impact…are still scarce'. nt Chiara 2 Bee 84 2522 84 2524 Improve the flow of this sentence; e.g. 'Yet, to foresee corrected Polce manageme and avoid the possible pitfalls of solitary and stingless bee nt management, we also have to keep in mind the negative impacts that bee management have had so far.'

Chiara 2 Invasives 92 2748 92 2748 Remove 'therefore' Altered sentence for readability Polce Chiara 2 Invasives 92 2768 92 2768 Put 'less commonly' in between commas: ' and, less Done Polce commonly, ' Chiara 2 Invasives 92 2770 92 2770 Move 'by altering the plant community' to the beginning Done Polce of the sentence: --> 'By altering the plant community, introduced mammal herbivores can have profound effects on…' Chiara 2 Climate 93 2807 93 2807 What is the meaning of 'averaged geographical scales'? We hve now changed this into: "..non- Polce change overlapping temporal and/or spatial time series and scales…" and hope this makes it clearer Chiara 2 Climate 96 2873 96 2874 Replace 'The empirical evidence was found that' with Sentence modified into: "There empirical Polce change "The empirical evidence showed that' evidence suggests that climate change over the last 120 years may have resulted in phenological shifts…" Chiara 2 Climate 96 2877 96 2882 Consider re-order this sentence, to avoid breaking its thanks for this proposal, which we have partly Polce change flow, and adding some punctuation; e.g. 'With high adopted in combination with comment 858 confidence due to high agreement and medium evidence (Settele et al. 2004), an increased number of observational and experimental studies across many organisms suggest that climate change has contributed to the overall spring advancement observed especially in the Northner Hemisphere; additionally, there is some evidence that daily activity patterns may change with climate change (e.g. Rader et al. 2013). However, the effects of these shifts ...'. Chiara 2 Climate 102 3066 102 3070 I am not sure that 'While' is well placed, in relation to the Sentence re-written and partly deleted Polce change second part of this sentence ('Carvalheiro et al. show that'). Consider re-phrasing this sentence.

Chiara 2 Climate 102 3075 102 3075 Something is missing here: 'Climate change may Thanks, now we wrote: Climate change might Polce change contribute by modifying'…'Climate change may modify…. contribute TO SOMETHING, by modifying…' Chiara 2 Climate 102 3076 102 3076 Remove comma after 'state' done Polce change Chiara 2 Climate 102 3088 102 3090 Consider reducing the use of 'mostly' and 'more' witin this We tried to rephrase this Polce change sentence. Chiara 2 Climate 103 3103 103 3103 Typo within the word 'communities'. Not clear the Re-phrased and deleted to a large extent Polce change causality linking the difference part of this sentence: insect-pollinated crops, different pollinator communites and presence of pollination service. Consider re-phrasing the sentence making these links more explicit. Chiara 2 Climate 103 3105 103 3105 What does 'this' at the beginning of the sentence refer Re-phrased and deleted to smeextent Polce change to? ('More generally, this relates to climate change…')

Chiara 2 Climate 103 3106 103 3106 Replace 'can't' with 'cannot' Done Polce change Chiara 2 Climate 103 3115 103 3115 Remove 'of' between 'outside' and 'protected areas' --> Done Polce change 'outside protected areas' Chiara 2 Climate 103 3118 103 3119 Not clear the flow of this sentence: 'Climate hifts have re-written Polce change resulted in vegetation types in th epast that have no current analog' Chiara 2 Climate 103 3136 103 3140 Edit these two sentence to improve their style (e.g. re-written Polce change moving the verbs, replacing 'as being overestimations' with 'being overstimated', etc.) Chiara 2 Climate 105 3158 105 3158 Reaplce 'higher in altitude' with 'to higher altitudes' Done Polce change Chiara 2 Climate 105 3175 105 3175 Missing space 'landscapewill' --> 'landscape will' thanks, done Polce change Chiara 2 Climate 105 3183 105 3183 Missing space 'mountaintops" --> 'mountain tops' Done Polce change Chiara 2 Multiple 106 3190 106 3194 Consider splitting and re-prasing this sentence: e.g. Now reads: Changes in land-use or climate, Polce effects "Changes in land-use, …directly affect pollinator health, intensive agricultural management and […]; moreover, they can potentially act synergistically, pesticide use, invasive alien species and leading to…' pathogens affect as well as directly affecting pollinator health, abundance, diversity and pollination services (Sections 2.2-2.6). Moreover these multiple direct drivers also have the potential to combine, synergistically or additively, in their effects leading to an overall increase in the pressure on pollinators and pollination (González-Varo et al., 2013; Goulson et al., 2015; Vanbergen and the Insect Pollinators Initiative, 2013).

Chiara 2 Multiple 106 3213 106 3213 Consider finding a more appropriate word rather than replaced with exact Polce effects 'precise' to describe 'combination' (e.g. exact, specific, etc.); it might also be left out without loosing the meaning: e.g. 'although their combination will vary…' Chiara 2 Indirect 112 3386 112 3382 Insert references for cited figures (i.e. percentage of We have rearranged the sequence of citations Polce effects exploited Earth's terrestrial surface; projected net forest and tried to put it in more specifically loss, etc) Chiara 2 Indirect 112 3394 112 3394 more trade': check the use of 'more' in combination with Rephrased to be clearer: Food sovereignty Polce effects 'trade' may offer an alternative direction than ever increasing trade for feeding the world and reducing negative impacts on ecosystems (Moon 2011; Billen et al. 2015; Pirkle et al. 2015). Chiara 2 Indirect 112 3398 112 3398 Replace 'data is' with 'data are' changed Polce effects Chiara 2 Tables Table Complete table and define the meaning of the sub- Table will be transferred into a figure (with pie Polce 2.6.1 heading columns witin the caption. charts) Chiara 2 Figures Figure Caption: remove '}' in 'applied } at high rate' done Polce 2.3.4 Chiara 2 Figures Figure I would suggest keeping it within the chapter, after We will try to come up with a much more Polce 2.6.1 redrawing it (e.g. a legend illustrating the meaning of the appealing version including updates on the different colors; defining AUC or removing it from the caption along your comment. boxes - perhaps only recalling the original source for additional details; etc. ) Chiara 2 Figures Figure Arrows are all in black, while the caption describes Colours were changed to black and white. Polce 2.7.1 'yellow and red arrows'. Chiara 2 Figures Figure Replace 'Native plants crops' with 'Native plant crops' corrected, should Native plants, crops Polce 2.7.1 within the bottom picture. Chiara 2 Tables Table Column 'Effect of invasive': what does '=' mean? The equal symbols indicates a neutral or no Polce 2.5.1 effect. We have now added to the table legend: Effect of invasive alien: - negative impact, + positive effect or = neutral or no effect. Chiara 2 Tables Table First row ('Land-use') under the column 'Climate change': corrected Polce 2.7.1 replacing 'affects' with 'affect' (the subject is 'Combined effects') Chiara 2 Tables Table Second but last row ('Diseases'), under column 'Invasive corrected Polce 2.7.1 species': it is not clear to what 'and the spread of diseases' refers to, or what it should be connected to.

Chiara 2 General THROUG Ensure consistency in citations (e.g. et al., vs. et al) Will be done in a final step all across the Polce HOUT assessment Chiara 2 General THROUG Ensure consistency in the use of 'honey bee' vs. Will be done in a final step all across the Polce HOUT 'honeybee', 'bumble bee' vs. 'bumblebee', 'land-use', vs. assessment 'land use', etc. Chiara 2 General THROUG Replace short forms by full forms: e.g. can't, aren't, that's, We hope to do so successfully all across the Polce HOUT etc. assessment Chinese 2 Pesticides 44 1243 Pesticides are not major factor for causing to decline of no supporting reference provided so government managed honeybee colonies in China. unfortunately information cannot be added

Chinese 2 Invasives 90 2701 The introduction of the exotic honeybee, A. mellifera We added: However in China, the government ligustica, in 1893, have considerable implications for an distribution and population size of A. cerana observed population decline of Asian honeybees （Li, et in China has reduced by over 75% and 80%, al., 2012) respectively following the introduction of A. m. ligustica in 1896. Coupled with overall losses of food and nesting resources, direct competition with A. m. ligustica and inter- species transfer of pathogens (e.g. Sacbrood viruses) to A. cerana have been implicated in this decline (Guan_Huang, 2005; Ji et al., 2002)

Chinese 2 Invasives 90 2704 90 2704 add: In China due to introduce of west honey bee, the We added: However in China, the government native chinese bee(Apis cerana Fabricius)decline 75-80% distribution and population size of A. cerana in recent decades. (Yang,Guan-huang, Harm of in China has reduced by over 75% and 80%, introduceing the western honey bee Apis mellifera L.to respectively following the introduction of A. the Chinese honeybee apis cerana F. and its ecological m. ligustica in 1896. Coupled with overall inpact.Conservation and Use of Chinese honeybee. p.234- losses of food and nesting resources, direct 245.) competition with A. m. ligustica and inter- species transfer of pathogens (e.g. Sacbrood viruses) to A. cerana have been implicated in this decline (Guan_Huang, 2005; Ji et al., 2002) Chinese 2 Invasives 91 2737 91 2737 add before While: For example, oriental honey bee (Apis We have cited two Chinese example papers government cerana F.)distributed in Asian country and is main earlier in the section, highlighting the impact pollinators of local plants. West honey bee Apis mellifera on A.cerana. However, we do not feel that L. cann not instead of its ecological impact.(Yang,Guan- these papers are the best examples of the huang, Harm of introduceing the western honey bee Apis point about plant fitness made in this mellifera L.to the Chinese honeybee apis cerana F. and its sentence, so with due respect we decline to ecological impact.Conservation and Use of Chinese cite them here. honeybee. p.234-245.) Cynthia 2 ES 7 67 7 67 bids should be birds Text deleted and replaced with other content. Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 ES 9 120 9 120 should be "high-end" Done Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Land 23 555 23 555 amount should be "amounts" Done. Scott- manageme Dupree nt Cynthia 2 Land 24 588 24 588 has "an" important effect Done. Scott- manageme Dupree nt Cynthia 2 Land 27 682 27 682 CO2 subscript the 2 Done. Scott- manageme Dupree nt Cynthia 2 Land 27 701 27 701 "beneficial" Done. Scott- manageme Dupree nt Cynthia 2 GMO 61 1787 62 1816 I suggest that the paper Flockhart et al 2014 Journal of done Scott- Animal Ecology doi 10.1111/1365-2656.12253 be read Dupree and included in this Case Box discussion

Cynthia 2 Pesticides 63 1829 63 1829 There is more "anectdotal" evidence….. it is not anectdotal as data exist Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Pesticides 64 1889 64 1889 Here "honey bee" is 2 words but elsewhere in chapter its corrected Scott- one word "honeybee", which is it and then be consistent Dupree Cynthia 2 Pesticides 65 1905 65 1914 On line 1905 its bumblebee and on line 1914 its bumble corrected Scott- bee. Again which is your choice then be consistent Dupree Cynthia 2 Pesticides 66 1948 66 1948 ("e.g." land-use…… added e.g. Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Pesticides 67 1960 67 1960 delete (Genetically Modified Organisms) amended Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Pesticides 67 1961 67 1961 delete (Herbicide Tolerant) amended Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 68 2000 68 2000 define BQCV and Nosema needs to be italized; why isn't a Done Scott- species given for Nosema or refered to a Nosema sp.; Dupree finally add comma after (Doublet et al 2015)

Cynthia 2 Diseases 69 2029 69 2029 N. should be Nosema; always in full at beginning of corrected Scott- sentence Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 69 2032 69 2033 several Genus species given in this sentence that need to corrected Scott- be italized Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 70 2050 70 2050 pest should be "pests" changed to pests Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 70 2053 70 2053 I think this title should be BB Pests and Pathogens; We have actually homogenized the titles of all Scott- parasites have a specific definition and nothing contained subsections "parasites and pathogens", Dupree in this paragraph has anything to do with parasites; considering the definition of parasites in wide someone needs to think about what a parasite, predator, sense given and used by Paul Schmid-Hempel pathogen etc. are because in this section and all the in his 1998 book "Parasites in social insects". sections that follow on stingless bees this is very In this sense, viruses, bacteria, protozoa, confusing and unprofessional fungi, nematodes, mites and parasitoids can all be considered as parasites. However, not all of parasites are pathogenic to their host, so that we added the pathogens in the titles of paragraph. Cynthia 2 Diseases 70 2076 70 2076 delete "Viruses are a factor decline." Unnecessary. Sentence corrected Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 70 2078 70 2078 delete (ABPV); delete Black Cell Virus and use the Fixed Scott- acronym that is already previously deinfed BQCV; dlete Dupree Kashmir Bee Virus and use acronym only because its already defined Cynthia 2 Diseases 70 2093 70 2094 convert to all acronyms for the viruse - all are previously Fixed Scott- defined Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 71 2101 71 2101 A. bombi should be Crithidia bombi - italized Fixed Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 71 2111 71 2111 Sentence should read "…. can affect natural bumble bee…. Sentence modified Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 72 2118 72 2118 Sentence should read "The entomopathogenic nematode, Corrected Scott- Sphaerularia bombi is a well known pest of bumblebees Dupree that only attacks queens, …. Cynthia 2 Diseases 72 2122 72 2122 Should be called "Stingless bee predators and pathogens" Structure was corrected for this section Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 72 2130 72 2130 This section 2.4.1.3.1 should be 2.4.1.3.2 - switch places Structure was corrected for this section Scott- with next section Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 73 2167 73 2167 Sentence should read: "Stingless bee colonies should be sentece was deleted Scott- regarded….." Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 74 2179 74 2179 Section 2.4.1.4.1 should be a subsection under Pathogens no change Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 74 2189 74 2189 Section 2.4.1.4.2 Protozoa should be a subsection under no change Scott- Pathogens or possibly Parasites depending on how they Dupree are defined by the authors Cynthia 2 Diseases 74 2196 74 2196 Section 2.4.1.4.3 Bacteria and Mollicutes should be a structure corrected and unified Scott- subsection under Pathogens Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 74 2197 74 2198 All genus and species need to be italicized corrected Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 75 2207 75 2207 Section 2.4.1.4.4 Fungi should be a subsection under structure corrected and unified Scott- pathogens Dupree Cynthia 2 Diseases 75 2208 75 2208 Ascosphaera needs to be italicized done Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Bee 80 2372 80 2372 Bombus should be "B." italicized Done Scott- manageme Dupree nt Cynthia 2 Bee 81 2403 81 2403 bumble bees should be "bumblebees" Done Scott- manageme Dupree nt Cynthia 2 Bee 82 2431 82 2431 delete "rather" corrected Scott- manageme Dupree nt Cynthia 2 Bee 82 2432 82 2432 do should be "does" corrected Scott- manageme Dupree nt Cynthia 2 Bee 82 2456 82 2456 Nannotrigona should be N.; Melipona should be M. done Scott- manageme please check for this throughout Dupree nt Cynthia 2 Bee 82 2458 82 2458 Nannotrigona should be N. - please check for this corrected according to suggestion Scott- manageme throughout Dupree nt Cynthia 2 Bee 84 2514 84 2514 comma after decline done Scott- manageme Dupree nt Cynthia 2 Invasives 86 2556 86 2556 should be "advantage; and iv)" typo corrected Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Invasives 86 2582 86 2582 Should be "invasive alien plant pollen" Corrected Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Invasives 87 2611 87 2611 Should be "Invasive alien plants" Corrected Scott- Dupree Cynthia 2 Invasives 88 2635 88 2635 Replace Novel with Invasive Replaced with 'Alien, potentially invasive, Scott- pathogens' because no evidence of invasion Dupree per se Cynthia 2 Invasives 90 2690 90 2690 Apis should be italicized This must have been changed during Scott- formatting of whole document, fine in my Dupree original text and double checked revised text. Formatting will be checked again before print.

Cynthia 2 Climate 99 2966 99 2966 Xylocopa should be italicized done Scott- change Dupree Cynthia 2 Climate 105 3173 105 3173 wich should be which thanks, done Scott- change Dupree Cynthia 2 Multiple 109 3296 109 3296 delete "both certain" deleted Scott- effects Dupree Cynthia 2 Multiple 109 3307 109 3307 should be "the neonicotinoid insecticide - imidacloprid" Accepted edit Scott- effects Dupree Cynthia 2 Multiple 109 3309 109 3309 should be "the neonicotinoid inseciticides - Accepted edit Scott- effects thiamethoxam and clothianidin" Dupree Cynthia 2 Multiple 110 3312 110 3312 should be "the pyrethroid insecticide - lambda- Accepted edit Scott- effects cyhalothrin" (symbol can also be used) Dupree Cynthia 2 Indirect 112 3390 112 3390 should be "industrialized agriculture (e.g. conventional Added Scott- effects and organic)" Dupree Cynthia 2 References 157 5512 157 5512 All authors should be listed - no et al. in the reference Updated, thanks Scott- section; check all references to ensure this is not occuring Dupree elsewhere Dan 2 Land use 12 272 12 272 Note that this is for honey bees to help the reader Done. Cariveau transition. Dan 2 Land use 12 275 12 280 The Williams study is good but there are many studies This topic is treated in section 2.2.2. Because Cariveau showing opposite or no effects for nesting. Cane 2006 this comment is important, we have now Ecological Applications, Matteson et al. 2008 Ann Entom directed the reader to that section. Soc, Fortel et al 2014 PLoS One all show positive effects of urbanization on cavity nesters

Dan 2 Land use 13 242 13 247 I found this paragraph slightly difficult to follow. I think it We have now rewritten a part of the Cariveau could be cut. paragraph and deleted some sentences. However, we have decided to keep this paragraph, since it introduces a set of important concepts that will be used in the following paragraphs. Dan 2 Land use 13 248 13 250 Two points that may be worth noting at some point. Based on this and other comments, we have Cariveau "Natural habitat" is a really vague term. Not all natural now revised the document to make sure that habitat is good for bees. For example, coniferous forests we are using terms like "habitat" consistently are often depauperate in term of abundance and and that these concepts are clearly diversity. In fact, many studies in Europe do not classify communicated. For this reason, we have now forest as semi-natural habitat. For example, Steffan- added a definitions box, and we now refer to Dewenter and Westphal do not include forests as natural habitat and not "natural habitat", what can but do include grazing meadows as natural. This is true lead to misunderstandings. Thus, we are for many studies in Kennedy et al. as well. Also, the confident that the current structure and studies finding a strong negative trend in habitat loss are content of the section has gain in clarity. those that are done in highly degraded systems. See Winfree et al. 2009 and Winfree et al. 2011. What is not well understood is how well studies represent actual land- use change. Dan 2 Land use 14 291 14 291 The authors should discuss recent papers by Kleijn et al. These studies have been now integrated and Cariveau 2015 (Nature Communications) and Winfree et al. 2015 their findings are presented. See also our (Ecology Letters). They show that diversity is generally answer to comment 180. not a important abundance of common species. It is fine to note potential importance of diversity but the importance of abundance should also be highlighted. Also in Garibaldi et al. 2013, the authors note: "However, richness did not enhance model fit when added to a model with wild insect visitation (table S4, model F versus model G), which suggests that the effects of richness on fruit set reflect increased wild insect visitation (i.e., co- linear effects; fig. S13)." What is particularly informative is Table S4 models F vs G and P vs Q.

Dan 2 Land use 15 303 15 306 Could the authors elaborate as to why smaller patches This sentence has been now deleted, since it Cariveau increases competition among plants. Also it is important was not adding clarity to the text, and was to note that this study was done in small area (all plots in superfluous. a 1 ha area) so to a pollinator, it may be one large patch.

Dan 2 Land use 15 307 15 307 This is a nice paper. The paragraph could use a more Done. Cariveau direct and to the point topic sentence to highlight the main point. Dan 2 Land use 16 344 16 347 Citations that demonstrate that connectivity increases There are not many studies investigating this Cariveau biodiversity would be useful here. In total, the paragraph in an explicit and extensive manner, as it has has 3 citations. Two of which do not support this last been done for biodiversity in general. Because point and one that partially does. At the very least it this is an importnat point, we have now seems that connectivity is not critical. added a sentence presenting this and pointing to that knowledge gap. We thank the reviewer for bringing our attention to this.

Dan 2 Land 24 597 24 600 Great point! Thank you! Cariveau manageme nt Dan 2 Land 35 959 35 961 A short summary of the Baldock paper would be great We have added a summary of findings from Cariveau manageme here. The authors note some findings later but it Baldock et al. 2015 nt awkward here. David Aston 2 Pesticides 40 1118 57 1650 This chapter appears biased in the sense that these see Chapter 6 - this section deals only with effects are not assessed with reference to the systems exposure and effects not cost benefit used in the regulatory process and no reference is made to the need to balance the benefits with their use

David Aston 2 Pesticides 47 1316 47 1317 There is no indication as to whether these effects are note added being commented on fom an individual bee or from the honeybee colony perspective David 2 ES 5 1 10 150 Generally, very clear ES statements. But please refer to We have tried to further improve the Cooper my comments on SPM. consistency between SPM and ES David 2 ES 5 30 5 32 the Bold statement here needs to be discussed in a follow Revised sentence now extends the point more Cooper up statement, noting that, in line with the statement on precisely in the context of particular lines 3-5, "abandonment" could also lead to ecosystem temperate regions ( e.g. Europe): Extensively restoration and increaed connectivity in landcapes. used traditional landscapes frequently contain Perhaps the potential for managed change to lead to win- high quality habitats and species-rich win situations. Generally, there is a need for a more pollinator communities (well established). compleete and nuanced disucssion of the landscape level These landscapes are often threatened by changes and tradoffs, across spatial and temporal time abandonment of farming (cessation of grazing scales. or mowing of grasslands), which has been observed in temperate regions (well established). (2.2.2.2.1). We think this revised statment is now right (by and large), some nunaces are in the term "frequently" and there is more details about the landscape level changes.

David 2 ES 5 42 5 54 "controversial". Yes, but can a positve statment still be The revision now has a more extensive and Cooper made? eg: "under field sites there is evidence for impacts nuanced treatment of these points. on wild bees but not for honeybees (E/I)". The latter relates to the "field realistic dose". (or "what is a relaisti dose under field condistions is likely to be"). David 2 ES 6 33 6 40 This parargaph (or another) should include a point about added and this has potential implications for Cooper the limittions of current risk analysis refletcing those comprehensive risk assessment (line 48) referenced in the body of the chapter proposed in numerous meta-analyses: lines 1482-3; 1512-3; 1523-4; as well as the unsutiablity of the wdely used honeybee as a model lines: 1291-2 see also Rundolf et al Nature 521 77-80 (2015)).

David 2 Pesticides 41 1137 41 1137 "over 1000 different crops and application" 1000 crops? amended as source of information for 1000 Cooper Or 1000 crop/application combinations. If latter illustate could not be identified what they are David 2 Pesticides 41 1146 41 1150 "appropriately" "eg in an IPM". Perhaps need to uppack appropriate defined as suitable effective Cooper this. What is meant by appropriate and IPM? Does IPM mitigation and use imply no (or reduced) prophylatic use of systemics? As implied by EASAC report and the EU policy referred t therein? David 2 Pesticides 49 1408 49 1408 "chronic exposure"? Word missing amended Cooper David 2 Pesticides 51 1469 54 1545 This review of reviews relating to sub lethal impacts We have checked carefully the possibility to Cooper covers a lot of ground. Not all of it seems to be include further information for each review, adequately covered in the chapter summary and SPM. In but each of them deal with tens or even addition, the section could be strengthened with a little hundreds of papers, encompassing in each more information, inclduign for example indicating in case lab and field data, with managed and relation to each set of "studies" (referenced in lines 1474, wild bees. The analysis suggested should be 1479, 1489, 1495, 1504, 1510, 1518, and perhaps others I the matter for a meta-analysis, but is hardly have missed), (i) whether they use controlled conditions, doable here. In turn, we have introduced field conditions, or both and (ii) whther they look at more details on the Rundlöf 2015 paper. honey bees or wild bees or both (and if the latter, which). Perhaps a summary table of the studies could help. The distinction between managed honeybees and wild bees seems to be particualry important (and the results of Rundolf et al Nature 521 77-80 (2015) dont eem to be fully reflected here), in underpinning statements in the summary and SPM. David 2 Pesticides 53 1525 53 1534 This synthesis statement should distinquish between the Same as above: each of the reviews deal with Cooper impacts under field conditions on maganed honeybees wild and managed bees, so that in the general and wild bees. statement, it is hard to make a distinction. We acknowledge this with a small addition.

David 2 ES 1 1 164 Honey bee vs honeybee - choose one and use throughout Will be streamlined Epstein David 2 ES 5 30 5 30 define use of term, "cultural landscapes" Replaced by traditional and point Epstein expanded:Extensively used traditional landscapes frequently contain high quality habitats and species-rich pollinator communities (well established). These landscapes are often threatened by abandonment of farming (cessation of grazing or mowing of grasslands), which has been observed in temperate regions (well established). (2.2.2.2.1) David 2 ES 6 35 6 35 define use of term "inappropriately" An e.g. is now given in the revision Epstein David 2 ES 6 45 6 45 are effects "underestimated" or poorly understood? Now reads: Debate surrounds what constitute Epstein a field realistic exposure, and the potential synergistic and long-term effects of pesticides and their mixtures (unresolved). (2.3.1.4)

David 2 ES 7 65 7 67 "Airborne clouds of Bt GMO pollen drifting off-site and Text deleted and replaced with other content. Epstein descending in neighboring habitats…" sounds like the script to a horror film - can this be written with a bit more scientific accumen. David 2 ES 7 74 7 75 Is this true for short-term introduction of honey bees for Revised, now reads: There are examples Epstein foraging purposes, without establishment of managed globally where the introduction of non-native bees in targeted habitat? Is this conclusion worthy of a managed bee species (honeybees, bumble bolded line in the executive summary when a conclusion bees) has resulted in escapes that on page 77, lines 2301-2302 states that, "To date there is subsequently led to competitive exclusion of only limited evidence that competition is sufficient to native bee species (established but lead to major declines of local bees or other pollinators." incomplete) David 2 Land use 14 290 15 313 Kleijn et al. 2015. Delivery of crop pollination services is We disagree that this study contradicts what Epstein an insufficient is presented in this section. Indeed, the argument for wild pollinator conservation, NATURE mentioned study investigated pollination COMMUNICATIONS | 6:7414 | DOI: services in crop plants only, and not in wild 10.1038/ncomms8414. Findings of this study conflicts plants. However, because this is a central with some of the arguments made here: "...while the work on pollination services in crops, we have contribution of wild bees to crop production is significant, now included a paragraph presenting its main service delivery is restricted to results and their importance. Further, and to a limited subset of all known bee species." clarify our point, we also put the Kleijn and Winfree studies in the context of previous researches having shown a mechanistic ground for effects of diversity on crop yield and pollination. We thank the reviewer for pointing this to us.

David 2 Land 20 482 20 485 Focus of IPM is informed use of chemicals as part of a Revised. Epstein manageme systems approach, not use of chemicals as a last resort. nt All of the systems mentioned use chemicals, including organic. David 2 Land 22 521 22 521 define "industrial agriculture" - seems to be a limited Changed to conventional that is described in Epstein manageme view of available ag systems, organic vs. industrial - the glossary. nt addressed in the next paragraph, but this type of extreme polarizing language is inflamatory, shows bias and is unnecessary - the chapter, in general, suffers for it. The authors should guard against using unscientific language and characterizations generally championed by advocacy groups. David 2 Land 25 628 25 628 remove parentheses around "Ricketts 2004" Done Epstein manageme nt David 2 Land 26 666 26 666 "total fertiliser use has increased" - provide a percentage Figure is added and more details are provided Epstein manageme increase within the text. nt David 2 Land 38 1034 38 1049 Farming systems aslo need to be economically practical, Economic aspects are included. Epstein manageme in addition to productive, diverse and sustainable. There nt is no discussion or acknowledgement here to economics. David 2 Pesticides 41 1127 41 1130 are we concerned with "level of hazzard" posed by hazard for these classes of human toxic Epstein pesticides or with risk assessment? pesticides David 2 Pesticides 42 1170 42 1188 A bit disingenuous to have a discussion of pesticides used Barbosa et al 2014 reference added to text Epstein in organic production and not discuss that almost all organic insecticides are general nerve poisins that are harmful to pollinators; also focus on heavy metals for organic fungicide use are of concern for pollinators. It is difficult to have an honest discussion on improving farming systems when even scientists don't address these issues. David 2 Pesticides 47 1340 47 1340 "…dust from talc/graphite…" or from abrasion of amended Epstein pesticide from neonic treated seed mixed with soil, and talc/graphite? David 2 Pesticides 48 1375 48 1379 The bumblebee/dinotefuran (mispelled in manuscript) typo corrected; text amended Epstein incident reported here resulted from an off-label http://portlandtribune.com/sl/206414-62081- application resulting in regulatory penalies for the bumblebee-incidents-result-in-pesticide- applicator - should be noted. violations David 2 Pesticides 49 1404 49 1406 EPA report cited here is specific to soybean, not all seed amended Epstein treatments David 2 Pesticides 49 1408 49 1408 "…chronic to certain insecticides…" What does this mean? amended Epstein David 2 Pesticides 52 1501 52 1503 Why are these conclusions "more clearly" concluded - Bad wording, sorry - fixed. Epstein were the conclusions found in the previously cited studies less clear? David 2 Bee 78 2313 78 2314 "…tendency to maximize production;" this phrase is used Point taken but decided not to be this specific Epstein manageme several times in this chapter to infer a negative aspect of to any one area of the world nt agriculture - is increased food production in a world with a growing human population and shrinking land devoted to that production a negative? Value judgements like these should be avoided. Deepa 2 Land use 13 245 13 245 The wording of the sentence beginning 'Instead of leading Done. Senapathi to habitat loss….' seems to contradict the previous sentence. Rephrasing to say 'Other than leading to habitat loss…. ' or in 'Even if land use does not lead to complete habitat loss…' may better re-iterate the point that other than loss of habitat, degradation and deterioration is also a real concern

Deepa 2 Land use 16 340 16 341 The phrase 'larger vetebrate pollinators were more based on this comment, we haave now Senapathi affected by these (Table 1)' - It remains unclear what modified this part of the paragraph. these refers to as the sentence is quite complex and would be better if replaced by habitat loss/ fragmentation. Deepa 2 Pesticides 44 1232 44 1281 Section 2.3.1.2 on the Potential impact of pesticides on this is a subelthal effects and has been picked Senapathi pollinators needs to include a recent studies by Kessler et up in that section al. 2015 Nature doi:10.1038/nature14414 showing Bees prefer foods containing neonicotinoid pesticides

Deepa 2 Climate 93 2795 96 2886 Section 2.6.2.1 Phenology change and interaction We have no included the study by Senapathi change mismatch focuses mostly on temperate zone studies and Abrahamczyk et al (2011) to make some the effect of temperature. Mismatches in the tropics are points in relation to tropical situations clearer likely to be induced by changes in rainfall / precipitation and these need to be mentioned and highlighted as an area requiring study if no example studies are found especially since climate studies show that frequency and intensity of rainfall in the ropics is set to change in the tropics and sub-tropics (e.g. Zhang et. al. 2007 Nature 448, 461-465) Deepa 2 Climate 93 2796 93 2798 Examples of phenology being affected by climate could Included, thanks Senapathi change included flight times of pollinators

Deepa 2 Climate 93 2799 93 2799 Southern Hemisphere climate impact studies available Included, thanks Senapathi change from Australia and South America as well

Deepa 2 Climate 93 2800 93 2800 Examples of studies on plants could include Amano T. et. Included, thanks Senapathi change al. 2010 A 250-year index of first flowering dates and its response to temperature changes. Proc R Soc Biol Sci Ser B 277, 2451-2457. Deepa 2 Climate 97 2913 97 2916 Recent study on range shifts in bumblebees in North included, see comment 860 and also number Senapathi change America and Europe have shown that "bumblebee 901 species show opposite range responses across continents relative to most terrestrial assemblages: rapid losses from the south and lagging range expansions in the north" - Kerr et. al. 2015 Science 349: 177-180. This study and it's findings need to be included in the text.

Deepa 2 Climate 100 3028 100 3028 The letters R and LR that I presume stand for Risk and These are explained further up in (previous) Senapathi change Low-Risk need to be utilised earlier in the text in lines lines 3001-3006 3024-3025 to signifiy what they stand for. Deepa 2 Climate 104 3143 104 3145 Sentence beginning 'This is even the case when many re-written Senapathi change pollinators aren't less able….. ' is ambiguous and unclear.

Deepa 2 Multiple 107 3220 107 3226 Section 2.7 Multiple interactions - unable to comment on Figures and tables were provided in a Senapathi effects text without corresponding figure and table 2.7.1 separate but accompanying document

Deepa 2 Multiple 108 3252 108 3252 A wild plant species' - mention which species and where Added Claytonia virginica L. Senapathi effects the study was carried out as this is a case study.

Deepa 2 General General Unable to comment on table and figure legends due to You may have missed the additional Senapathi commen non-availability of tables or figures documents which have been provided as t on separate files (other reviewers succeeded in overall doing so) chapter contents Diane 2 TOC 3 not 4 not The Table of Contents highlights differences in structure Thanks for this comment; unfortunately Castle applicable applicabl in each section - it would help the reader if there was information is not that balanced and we e more consistency in covering the Drivers of Change as preferred to design the strucutre along the described in the title of this Chapter ie Pollination, drivers Pollination Networks and Pollination Services. Also the conclusions to each section should include these 3 aspects. This point is reflected in the comments on the relevant sections below. Diane 2 ES 6 45 6 46 Given that the statement regarding synergism, long term Now reads: Debate surrounds what constitute Castle effects and mixtures is described as notional it should be a field realistic exposure, and the potential reported as " ...may be under estimated....." synergistic and long-term effects of pesticides and/or re-positioned below the emboldened text. and their mixtures (unresolved). (2.3.1.4)

Diane 2 ES 6 51 6 51 Does the text "....lack of evidence of effects...." mean an After revision this reads; There is evidence Castle absence of effects or and absence of evidence? If the from a recent study showing field-scale former it should read "...evidence of lack of effects..." impacts of neonicotinoids on wild pollinator survival and reproduction (established but incomplete). Evidence, from this and other studies, for effects on managed honey bee colonies is conflicting (unresolved).

Diane 2 ES 9 123 9 123 Word missing This typo has been corrected in a full revision Castle of this statement: The change in climatic conditions, especially under mid- and high- end scenarios, exceeds the maximum speed at which several groups of pollinators (e.g. many bumblebees or butterflies) can disperse or migrate (well established). Such species are predicted to find themselves in unfavorable climates and unable to reach areas of potentially suitable habitat (established but incomplete). Diane 2 ES 10 148 10 148 This is not a supportable or crebible statement even as a We have removed this part from the ES due to Castle "notional" point and discredits the report. Sales of the reviewer comments and the speculative pesticides reflect trends in agricultural production, character of the statement occurence of pests and diseases and weather. Globally there is an growing demand for quantity, quality and range of foods and agricultural production reflects this. Also agricultural production is a key factor in emerging countries. Diane 2 Land 38 1048 38 1048 The wording is not useful in global context as Revised. Castle manageme "conventional scale agriculture"can mean different things nt in different areas so suggest being more specific or deleting this sentence Diane 2 Land 39 1061 39 1062 This sentence does not make sense - suggest improve or Revised. Castle manageme remove nt Diane 2 Pesticides 40 1118 57 1649 This is a longer section than any other at 17 pages and discussion with co-authors identified it is Castle has expanded considerably since the first draft. It goes appropriate for this high profile topic into a lot of detail on a number of possible effects of pesticides which could be significantly shortened with out affecting the conclusions or the boxed section starting on page 55 line 1599 which is useful to retain.

Diane 2 Pesticides 42 1163 42 1163 Not a valid comment as toxicity data on pesticides is toxicity data are but not how pesticides were Castle publically available used; clarification added Diane 2 Pesticides 42 1164 42 1164 Not a useful request on a global scale - as with assessing amended text Castle pollinators it is the local level of detail that is important and "granularity" is more feasable at this scale. Diane 2 Pesticides 55 1587 55 1585 The position with regard to over-wintering honey bee losses dealt with in Chapter 3 Castle colony losses needs to reflect to most recent data from Epilobee 2013/2014 which shows that overwintering losses have decreased. This occured whilst neonicotonoids were still being used in the EU and the overwintering losses seemed to correlate with difficult weather conditions. It is also important to put these over- wintering losses in context with the significance of the Varroa and associated viral diseases affecting honeybee colony survival. Particularly in light of the fact that there are no reported over-wintering losses in in Australia where the they do not have the Varroa destructor mite but do use neonicotinoids. Diane 2 Pesticides 56 1631 The Rundlof study cited here aims to investigate comment relates to the bumble bee Castle insecticide-containing seed coatings on wild and component managed bees. Care is taken in the design of the large scale landscape monitoring study to detect effects on honeybee colonies and the results of this element of the study is consistent with previously published field studies such as Cutler et al 2014 (Canada). However other elements of the study regarding the wild bees and residue levels do not have the same level of discriminatory power making it difficuIt to draw robust conclusions. For example the overall numbers of wild bees recorded are very low which limits confidence in the Diane 2 Pesticides 66 1940 66 1940 Thisrepresentativeness sentence needs of to the be data.qualified with "depending on wording amended Castle exposure and not necessarily representing realistic field conditions" otherwise it can be misleading. Diane 2 Diseases 67 1994 75 2242 The impact of varroa (and virus) is rather under-stated Added text on Varroa effects and added Castle here there are many papers (Dainan et al, 2012; Martin references et.al, 2012; Guzman-Nova, et al, 2010; Szabo et al 2012 (bumble bees); Charriere & Neumann, 2010; Nazzi et al, 2012; Genersch, 2010; Rosenkranz et al, 2010; van Enngelsdorp et al, 2012; Neumann & Carreck, 2010; Godfrey 2t al , 2014) which all conclude that combination of Varroa + virus is probably one the most major threats facing honeybees. Diane 2 Multiple 109 3284 110 3336 Most of the studies looking at interactions are done Thanks for the suggestion. This review is now Castle effects under laboratory conditions and the ecological relevance included in the revision alongside the other is not understood. A recently published review paper citations. would be useful to cite here as it looks at the methodology used to study the interactions between pathogens and pesticide exposure and bee health (Collison et al 2015 in Biological Reviews).

Diane 2 General The authors have a challenging task in producing this Thank you; hard to judge on the potential Castle chapter especially as the value of the report will depend content of publications which have not been upon its scientific integrity. As such in the final review it written (unclear to which driver/aspect the no- is essential that the scientific robustness of any cited effects-statement refers to, in many cases research publications is considered. If studies have these are also actually published, e.g. for shortcomings in design these should be commented on pesticides) and if this produces misleading results they should not be included in the report. It should also be recognised that there is a publication bias against no effects. Emily 2 ES 6 33 6 35 Use of the word "inappropriately": The sentence itself is Now reads: For example, insecticides are toxic Marquez correct, however, the statement belies other uses that to insect pollinators and the lethal risk is may have lethal effects and yet are "appropriate," i.e., increased if they are used inappropriately, e.g. according to label. For instance, the generation of dust if label information is insufficient, not from sowing treated seeds (evidence is cited p. 45, lines respected or where application equipment is 1273-1281) is not due to incorrect usage of treated seeds. not fit-for-purpose or faulty (well established). A lethal exposure to dust containing insecticide is not an incorrect use and yet can have lethal effects, therefore it should be stated that not all lethal exposures occur from inappropriate use. Emily 2 ES 6 36 6 37 Encounters can include encounters with lethal Revision now reads: Pollinators are likely to Marquez combinations of pesticides. encounter combinations of pesticides applied in the field during foraging or flight (well established). These may result in unpredictable sometimes harmful effects; such combinations may interact in a complex and/or non-linear way (e.g. synergy) (established but incomplete). Emily 2 ES 10 142 10 145 In addition to the indirect drivers mentioned, large-scale We have now inserted the following text: Marquez agricultural systems heavily reliant on agrochemicals have International trade is an underlying driver of also transformed "climate, land cover, etc." Also, it should land-use change, species invasions and be mentioned that in terms of indirect drivers, factors biodiversity loss (well established). The global such as pesticide usage are one driver that can be expansion of industrialised agriculture driven changed in a relatively quick fashion, whereas human by increased or changing consumption in the population increases would be a more difficult problem developed and emerging economies will to tackle. continue to drive ecosystem changes in the developing world that are expected to affect pollinators and pollination services (established but incomplete)

Emily 2 Land 38 1037 38 1042 Crop yield is a partial measure of total agricultural Study by Crowder and Reganold is included. Marquez manageme productivity, but in and of itself is not the sole marker of nt agricultural productivity. In these lines it should also be mentioned that organic agriculture has been shown to be significantly more profitable, even with yield being lower (Crowder and Reganold 2015), because discussion of yields frequently gets conflated with profitability for farmers. Also, the Rodale Farming Systems Trial reported from their 30-year study several results on organic farming yields, citing competitiveness of organic farming with conventional in terms of yield and profitability. Other markers such as resilience in drought were also assessed in the Rodale report. Emily 2 Pesticides 39 1072 39 1074 Again, even with known risk mitigation measures, wording amended to clarify- if die offs occur Marquez exposure to lethal doses of pesticides can occur. then by definition risk mitigation is not Examples include mass bee die offs which are not always effective; the reference to soils shows low going to be due to applicator errors or lack of appropriate levels residues can be detected in soil not that risk mitigation. Risk mitigation measures such as applying it is by definition a risk to pollinators only after bees are in the hive ignore the fact that exposure can occur in the days following an application, as pesticides are known to remain in the environment for far longer than a day and depending on environmental conditions can persist for longer periods of time. There are many examples of this but a study on neonicotinoids persisting in soil in the UK is cited here.

Emily 2 Pesticides 45 1279 45 1281 However, widespread adoption of these technical this is related to chapter 6 Marquez measures may take time for uptake without regulatory action requiring them. In addition, it should be mentioned that these treated seeds are solely prophylactic in nature, with no decisionmaking allowed on the part of a farmer to use these pesticide coatings... seeds come pre-treated. The EPA evaluation finding these treated seeds to have zero benefit to farmers might also be cited here, as use of pre-treated seeds is an excellent example of a failure to utilize integrated pest management principles. Emily 2 Pesticides 49 1383 49 1386 Even if labels provide mitigation measures, situations may mitigation for seed is through dust reduction, Marquez arise from insecticide applications that result in death. pesticide drift through buffer zones; For instance, exposure to insecticide-contaminated dust but in order to accommodate your comment, generated from sowing treated seeds; or pesticide drift, we have now used one of your references and which is known to occur even if applications occur have tried to make this clearer by writing: according to label (i.e., a change in wind direction or "In principle, however, even if insecticide is speed can cause pesticides to drift). It sholud be stated applied according to labeling and with that even if applied according to label and with mitigation mitigation measures taken (see below), bee measures taken, lethal situations may arise because not mortalities may occur because not all all environmental factors can be strictly controlled (such environmental factors (such as wind) can be as wind). strictly controlled (Nuyttens et al., 2013), in addition to issues such as human error or synergistic effects. But beyond some country- level incident schemes there is little data available on incidents occurring following approved uses or on the scale of poor practice/non-compliance."

Emily 2 Pesticides 66 1939 66 1940 and risk can be increased even if the label is adhered to. wording amended Marquez This is a common misconception that is not scientifically accurate, that acute exposures to pesticides only occur if the pesticide is misused! Geoff Hicks 2 General 0 0 0 0 General comment on the chapter - this is a good review Thanks for your general comment; we have of drivers of change but we are concerned that its tried to improve the key messages which end assessment approach is light. There is a need to take the up in the ES. Se e.g. reply on your comment reviews into scenarios and present the reader with what 905; A number of illustrations is included as this means and where to next information. We found the well (as was in the previous version) subchapter conclusions very light and with insufficient advice for guidance. We suggest the really key findings be pulled out and boxed or bold headed as the key messages to be communicated. We also note that there did not appear to be any real discussion on niche replacement, ie do wild pollinators move in and replace exotics when they are decimated. "The fence line" we found little discussion on the dynamics and implications of wild bees crossing over the fence line to managed (arable systems), more detail is needed on the impact on indigenous pollinators on exotic land practices. Finally the whole document can be rendered more accessible with illustrations. We get a sense that the structure of the chapter is dominated by narative while figures and tables might be more user friendly.

Geoff Hicks 2 Pesticides 50 line 1440 Line 1442 accepted, but where are the conclusions in the text? If Reworded as suggested. they are present they need to be made clearer.

Geoff Hicks 2 Pesticides 53 Line 1524 line 1534 This para is not that clear particularly around the We reuse the words of the authors in saying conclusion with regard to neonicitonoids and other that neonics actual levels of residues are pesticides. Some rewording is needed to give better "likely to have large-scale and wide ranging clarity. We need to have a stronger position statement negative biological and ecological impacts", around uncertainty and inconclusiveness of the data as and cannot make a stronger statement than this will be an area of high public interest. the authors. Furthermore, we introduce the paragraph saying that neonics "very likely have a negative impact in individual and social performances of bees", which is sort of general conclusion for the 4 reviews. Geoff Hicks 2 Pesticides 54 line 1545 This is an area of text that could greatly benefit from only possible when models are available to some scenarios results that might look at different integrate drivers; this has not been possible combinations of pollinator type, insecticide use, and land until BeeHave was availabe scale as drivers of pollinator decline.

Geoff Hicks 2 Pesticides 57 line 1650 Section 2.3.1.4.3 General comment.This whole section There is now a conclusions section (2.3.5) needs a synthesis and conclusions section to follow the summarizing main elements of section 2.3 pesticide presentation that puts the UK position into "Pesticides, GMOs, …" perspective. Geoff Hicks 2 GMO 58 line 1696 the fact diptera pollinators were not tested is a major We have now added a short sentence shortcoming, is there any advice on what the impact is mentioning that this is a knowledge gap. likely to be, given their role in pollinating a number of unique plant species. Geoff Hicks 2 Pesticides 65 line 1915 What about pasture application of ammonia/urea as a Yes, there are studies showing nitrogen source of nitrogen? Has New Zealand looked at this in emission rates from manure in New Zealand. light of the high use of N fertilizers in our agriculture Due to space restriction we did not mention it systems? specifically in this Chapter, but generally described the effect of nitrogen deposition. Nonetheless, thank you for mentioning it.

Geoff Hicks 2 Diseases 69 line 2035 This is a wholly inadequate description of the scale and Several comments wanted more detail on scope of the varroa problem. Where is the detail and effects of Varroa; added extra text and discussion of whether the problem is getting worse or references on Varroa to the end of section improving and what are the effects of better 2.4.1.1.4 Parastitic mites. management other chemical treatment with miticides. Also it is not clear from the document whether stingless bees suffer from varroa, can you clarify this somewhere Geoff Hicks 2 Invasives 88 line 3645 line 2679 This section could benefit from reference and discussion Thanks for this example, we have added a around the interaction between exotics bees and exotic short sentence recognising this situation as it wasp in native forests in New Zealand, particularly with adds to the geographic coverage: "In New regard to the competitive relationship that exist around Zealand beech (Nothofagus solandri var. honey dew beech forests. Further discussion could also solandri) forests, invasive alien wasps be added around competing energetics with regard to (Vespula vulgaris, V. germanica) compete for exotic honey bees and other nectar feeding species energy rich food, in the form of honeydew including reptiles, birds and bats. secretions produced by native scale insects, with alien honeybees (A. mellifera) and also native vertebrate (birds) pollinators. The wasps significantly appropriate and reduce this food resource thereby representing a threat to the native bird pollinators (Markwell et al., 1993; Moller et al., 1991)."

Geoff Hicks 2 Climate 101 line 2784 line 3184 The whole section on climate change is too long, it is only We decided to basically keep it that long; change one driver. Given that the analysis is only based on there have been other comments in favour of scenario based risks, it is a bit of a so what, and needs to keeping the graph and the table (but the be summarised to main findings. The really useful latter to be transfomred into a pie chart); material is on line 2978-2981 and the threats status because the case study is a box, it is separate material in line 3051-3061. from the main text and due to the graphical components it should help to better bring across some of the messages; see comments 871 and 1165 Geoff Hicks 2 Multiple 106 line 3190 line 3194 Endorse the section on combined effects which Thank you for your endorsement of this effects recognises drivers of change are multifactorial important section. Geoff Hicks 2 Intro page 11 line 177 We find the list of pollinators confining, we expect some We agree and have tried to put more analysis of alternative pollinators to bees - most studies examples into the assessment which refer to already focus on bees, this assessment needs to be wider groups other than bees than that. Geoff Hicks 2 Land use page 15 line 313 insert the following after the word network at end of Although what the reviewer mentions may be para - network, which might suggest that endemics are correct, we are not referring to endemics vs more generalist (successful) then exotics which might also exotic here. Further, that topic is already argue for more targetted protection of endemics. presented in the invasives section. Geoff Hicks 2 Land page 27 line 708 General comment - re weed diversity - this is an Yes, thank you for your note. manageme important dilemma for biodiversity values as weeds are nt beneficial for bees as diverse sources of nectar and pollen however most conservation agencies spends vast amounts erradicating these. Geoff Hicks 2 Land page 32 line 867 Re fires for seed dispersal etc, needs to include as an Thank you very much for the suggestion, but a manageme additional example the schlerophylic vegetation in suggested refernce would have been needed. nt Australia (reference needed). Geoff Hicks 2 ES page 5 Line 21 juxtaposing exotic pollinators alongside indigenous We are not sure, whether this is the most vegetation offers transboundary benefits and access to appropriate place for your point as the bullet more diverse foraging opportunities - this needs to be of the ES deals with messages from land included in the paragraph. management for wild pollinators; the proposal is more a solution and would fall into chapter 6; would also have been good if there had been some reference to make this point more explicit German 2 Land use 12 208 12 209 Desertification means land degradation in arid, semiarid Done. Governmen and dry sub-humid areas. It is thus land degradation in t drylands. Based on this definition provided by the UNCCD, you may wish to reorder the terms here. For example: "...grazing can lead to land degradation/desertification and scrub encroachment."

German 2 Land use 14 293 14 293 Habitat loss is probably an important indicator for We agree with the reviewer. To clarify this, we Governmen degradation. Shouldn't it therefore read 'habitat loss' or have now modified the sentence and it reads t 'degraded habitats'? (see also page 15, lines: 299; lines "… habitat loss and habitat degradation ...". 310; 317 or page 37, line 1014). German 2 Land use 17 365 17 365 Habitat loss and fragmentation can be seen as indicators We here refer to habitat loss, habitat Governmen of degradaton, and not as stand-alone phenomena degradation and habitat fragmentation t besides degradation. following the definitions we present in the new definition box. We think that the current version of the draft succesfully clarifies this point. We thank the reviewers for pointing this unclear point. German 2 Land 27 710 28 It would be helpful if a table could be provided, which Unfourtunately I could not include such a Governmen manageme quantifies the use of herbicides in North America and/or table due to the lack of suitable information t nt Europe (if possible with Central Asia) during the past dataset. decades. German 2 Land 28 729 28 730 Why is an 'empty' chapter reserved for pesticides, if Following comments during the former Governmen manageme pesticides are treated in another section of the report? revisions it was found necessary to t nt acknowledge this point here, since pesticide use is important aspect of land management, therefore it is reasonable to refer to that here even it is detailed in a a separate section..

German 2 Land 28 732 28 733 In order to understand the titles given here, it would be This subsection was replaced and the whole Governmen manageme appreciated, if a footnote can be inserted that provides land management section was restructured to t nt an explanation for the following terms used: 'pastures' / cover better arable lands, grasslands and 'rangelands' / 'prairies' and maybe even 'grasslands' different aspects of management on these. (grasslands is used on page 29, line 775). Application of the different terminologies is simplyfied, the remaining ones are defined.

German 2 Land 34 910 34 916 Are there examples that compare the cost of hand- No such data are published in this study. Governmen manageme pollination with insect pollinations in relation to yields? t nt German 2 Pesticides 43 1193 43 1193 It would be helpful, if some definitions of organic farming see overall definitions within full report Governmen could be included in a footnote. t German 2 Pesticides 49 1397 49 1397 Are there some best example cases, which show, how see chapter 6 Governmen training/awareness raising in the use of insecticides t reduced misuse? Maybe you wish to add a reference here, or which part of the assessment report provides this information. German 2 Diseases 68 1994 76 2242 The titles of the sub-chapters of "2.4.1.1 Honeybee Added "in honeybees" to each subheading as Governmen diseases and pests"; "2.4.1.2 Bumblebee parasites and suggested t pathogens"; and "2.4.1.4 Solitary bee parasites and pathogens" need to be differentiated more clearly in order to avoid misunderstandings. The following simple way forward could support such a differentiation: "2.4.1.1.1 Viruses in honeybees" (see page 68) and equivalent to this: "2.4.1.2.1 Viruses in bumblebees" (see page 70) and: "2.4.1.4.1 Viruses in solitary bees" (page 74). German 2 Climate 105 3179 105 3184 Please check the logic between both sentences in this We have tried to modify the text accordingly Governmen change section: The first sentences states that "species occupying t extensive flat landscapes are particularly vulnerable …". The second sentence states that "cimate change will particularly affect species with spatially restricted populations". The content of both sentences may be scientifically correct. But in order to improve the understanding, the logical relationschip between both sentences might have to be improved. German 2 Multiple 107 3234 17 3234 In chapter 2.7.1, the authors outline that pollinator Added this sentence in response with cross ref Governmen effects species "… may migrate with global warming into new to other relevant Chapter sections: However, t geographic regions thus increasing the aboundanc and if such immigrants are highly invasive there diversity of recipient communities ...". Based on this may be an attendant risk of further ecological statement, please provide some thoughts about potential changes, for example through alteration of risks emerging from migrant species into existing systems. pre-existing plant-pollinator relationships, or interspecific competition for food or transfer of pests and diseases (2.4, 2.5).

German 2 ES Executiv This reads very well. Summary point 141-146 could be We agree and have put this part at the Governmen e used as the first point, not the penultimate, as it beginning of the ES (while in the text it t Summary underpins many of the other problems. Also, this point, in remained where it was before - but that's not addition to ‘expanding human population’ and problematic as we point to the reelvant ‘globalisation’ could include ‘the need to feed the section 2.8 in the ES) expanding population’. German 2 General General This interlinkage between the assessments outlined in Yes, you are right - and that will be the task of Governmen Commen chapter 2 (specifically: '2.2 on land use and its changes' the authors working on these deliverables; t t and '2.5 on invasive species' on the impacts of there will be sufficien time to do so after the degradation and invasive speecis on pollinators and presnet assessment is published pollination should be reflected in the assessments D3b(i); D3b(ii) and D3b(iii). Ir. Ali 2 Land use 17 413 18 414 There is need to take into account the environmental we do not understand what the reviewer Mahamane parameters means here. We do refer to the environmental parameters, by saying that the there is spatial variation in the the resources available to pollinators. Ir. Ali 2 Land 21 523 21 526 diversity of plants Added. Mahamane manageme nt Ir. Ali 2 Land 23 581 23 582 The downside is the phenology of culture that does not It is mentioned mainly at the monocaulture Mahamane manageme cover the 12 months of the year. Should develop vs. polyculture section. nt transitional habitats to allow the colony to survive and reach the next phase of cultivation Ir. Ali 2 Land 25 624 25 627 In Sahelian Africa is agroforestry system albida that This would be a great interest to cite, but the Mahamane manageme blooms during the dry season than other species lose reference is missing. nt their leaves to adapt to drought conditions. This is a kind of relay allowing colonies to survive the dry season during which resources are scarce.

Ir. Ali 2 Pesticides 38 1073 38 1074 For example in Africa Sudan, one suspects that misuse of no reference provided so not possible to add Mahamane pesticides in cotton cultivation has an impact on such a statement pollinators especially bees Ir. Ali 2 Bee 76 2246 76 2252 In sub-Saharan Africa, beekeepers Apis mellifera rise in Point taken but decided not to be this specific Mahamane manageme several agroforestry systems based on biclimats. to any one area of the world nt Jan 2 General 5 1 164 5853 While the authors present a much improved, i.e. more Yes, we hope for your udnerstanding that it is Axmacher taxonomically balanced account in comparison to the not easy to cover each group which might earlier draft of this chapter, and they clearly outline the play a role, but it is very much appreciated groups they are considering, it is still somewhat that you noticed that we put quite some disappointing that beetles are still only considered in the efforts into this context of "pest species".

Jan 2 ES 5 30 5 32 This to me appears to be a very "westernized" outlook This clause has been added and the detail Axmacher focussed on temperate regions (where overall expanded to ensure temperate region is clear: biodiversity, including diversity of pollinator species - with Extensively used traditional landscapes the exception of some groups like bumblebees - is very frequently contain high quality habitats and low in comparison to the tropics). I have very severe species-rich pollinator communities (well doubts that extensively used cultural landscapes are to be established). These landscapes are often promoted in a global context, where e.g. tropical forests threatened by abandonment of farming form potential alternative habitats. Maybe clearly state (cessation of grazing or mowing of that this is relevant only for temperate regions? grasslands), which has been observed in temperate regions (well established). (2.2.2.2.1) Jan 2 ES 7 65 7 67 I am puzzled how airborn pollen clouds are supposed to Text deleted and replaced with other content. Axmacher adversely affect moths and butterflies. This statement requires substantial elaboration and contextualization (or omission). Japanese 2 Pesticides 47 1337 47 1338 Please revice the URL of the incident scheme in Japan. amended Governmen The new one was published on June 23 this year. t New URL ：http://www.maff.go.jp/j/press/syouan/nouyaku/15062 3.html

Jari Niemelä 2 ES executiv there is nothing about the effects of urbanization on We have now included the key word e pollinators whereas in the text there is a relatively good "urbanisation" prominently in one of the ES summary treatmen of the issue (2.2.2.4. urban management) paragraphs

Jari Niemelä 2 General title I'm not quite sure I understand the title. There are many The title is set by the IPBES plenary; no way issues in the long and rather cumbersome title, please for changes clarify. Jean-Pierre 2 Land 20 472 22 532 Luscher et al. (2014) showed (beyond the dominant Added and cited. Sarthou manageme effect of geographic location) a strong influence of nt agricultural management on wild bees and that the effect of the surrounding landscape was of minor importance and inconsistent in their data. Jean-Pierre 2 Land 20 472 22 532 Rollin et al. (2013) [Rollin O., Bretagnolle V., Decourtye A., Added and cited. Sarthou manageme Aptel J., Michel N., Vaissière B. E. and Henry M. (2013). nt Differences of floral resource use between honey bees and wild bees in an intensive farming system. Agriculture, Ecosystems and Environment 179, 78-86.] and Sarthou et al. (2013) [Sarthou J. P., Choisis J.P., Amossé A., Arndorfer M., Bailey D., Balázs K., Balent G., Deconchat M., Dennis P., Eiter S., Fjellstad W., Friedel J.K., Jeanneret P., Jongman R.H., Kainz M., Moreno G. , Ouin A., Paoletti M.G., Pointereau P., Stoyanova S. , Viaggi D., Vialatte A. , Wolfrum S., Herzog F. (2013). Indicateurs de biodiversité dans les exploitations agricoles biologiques et conventionnelles des Vallées et Coteaux de Gascogne, cas d’étude français du projet européen BIOBIO. Innovations Agronomiques 32: , 333-349.] have demonstrated that in entomophilous crops where flower resources are very important but of short time, wild flower diversity in the field (ie weeds with flowers) is more important for favouring diversity of wild bees, and is promoted by organic farming.

Jean-Pierre 2 Land 20 472 22 532 An opening has to be made about the potential of Details on conservation agriculture (as Sarthou manageme conservation agriculture (direct sowing plus 2 other mitigation method) was mowed to Chapter 6 nt levers, see below) to favour wild pollinators since Shuler according to former comments and revision. et al. (2005) [Shuler, R.E., Roulston, T.H., Farris, G.E., 2005. Farming practices influence wild pollinator populations on squash and pumpkin. Journal Econ. Entomol. 98, 790–795.] showed that pollinator abundance, particularly of the squash bee, was greater in no-tillage than in conventional tillage. Jean-Pierre 2 Land 20 472 22 532 This latter remark has to be accompanied by the one See answer to comment 253. Sarthou manageme showing that conservation agriculture (i.e. no-tillage plus nt elongated rotation plus soil always covered) is not automatically synonym of greater herbicide use. CA can even be conducted in an organic way (e.g. Baral (2012) [Baral, K. R. (2012). "Weeds management in organic farming through conservation agriculture practices." The Journal of Agriculture and Environment 13: 60-66.], Jean-Pierre 2 Climate 96 2888 96 2934 Insert this information: Kerr et al. (2015) [Kerr J. T., Pindar We have isnerted this study in relation to Sarthou change A., Galpern P., Packer L., Potts S.G., Roberts S.M., climate change (further down in this section), Rasmont P., Schweiger O., Colla S.R., Richardson L.L., but did not refer to the other parts; there is Wagner D.L., Gall L.F., Sikes D.S., Pantoja A. (2015). an explanation in the multiple factors section Climate change impacts on bumblebees converge across (comment nr. 901). continents. Science, 349(6244): 177-180.] found "cross- The data used to attribute changes in bee continentally consistent trends in failures to track range limits to neonicotinoids and land-use warming through time at species’ change are at a coarse scale (land use change northern range limits, range losses from southern range measurements were available through time limits, and shifts to higher elevations among southern from 1900 to 2005 across both Europe and species. They also found that these trends are North America at 5’(~10km);annual area of independent of changing land uses pesticide/imidacloprid application per or pesticide applications and underscore the need to test administrative county 1992-2009). This was for climate impacts at both leading and trailing latitudinal doubtless a reflection of the characteristics of and thermal limits for species." the available data and the authors had little option here. However, in our assessment of this paper we consider that it is perhaps unsurprising that there was no detectable effect of pesticides (or to an extent land-use) on range limits. Detection of changes in range limits in response to these management factors would have to be profound (i.e. consistent extinctions) for it to be detected in this large-scale analysis. If land-use change and pesticide use have an impact it is likely any effects would occur on populations/diversity in more subtle ways and at finer scales (eg habitat, landscape). Potentially there could be severe declines (or increases) in populations within a species Jeff Ollerton 2 ES 7 67 7 67 Typo - "birds" Textdistribution deleted range and replaced and this withcould other still occur content. Jeff Ollerton 2 ES 9 123 9 123 Word missing - "climatic….?" Possibly "envelope"? This typo has been corrected in a full revision of this statement: The change in climatic conditions, especially under mid- and high- end scenarios, exceeds the maximum speed at which several groups of pollinators (e.g. many bumblebees or butterflies) can disperse or migrate (well established). Such species are predicted to find themselves in unfavorable climates and unable to reach areas of potentially suitable habitat (established but incomplete). Jeff Ollerton 2 Land 22 527 22 528 Two references missing References are added. manageme nt Jeff Ollerton 2 Land 23 553 24 589 This whole section has a lot of grammatical errors and The section is revised and restructured to manageme needs some editing improve clarity.. nt Jeff Ollerton 2 Land 23 567 23 567 It's the stigmas that are blocked, not the stamens Corrected. manageme nt Jeff Ollerton 2 Land 23 570 23 570 What is meant by "higher profit for the pollinated plants"? higher pollination success; added manageme nt Jeff Ollerton 2 Land 23 582 23 583 "Oil seed rape" is not a term used much in other parts of Changed to canola. manageme the world. I suggested using "canola (oil seed rape)" nt Jeff Ollerton 2 Land 30 780 30 78 Missing reference Added. manageme nt Jeff Ollerton 2 Land 33 871 35 937 This whole section has a lot of grammatical errors and Edited. manageme needs some editing nt Jeff Ollerton 2 Pesticides 44 1247 44 1247 "curcubits" should be "cucurbits" amended

Jeff Ollerton 2 Pesticides 48 1366 48 1366 Author is "Yeo-Chang" not "Yeo-Change" amended Jeff Ollerton 2 Pesticides 55 1600 57 1648 There should be some mention of the recent re-analysis The paper by Goulson (2015) in PeerJ is now of the FERA report by Goulson (2015) - see: mentioned https://peerj.com/articles/854/ Jeff Ollerton 2 Bee 84 2518 84 2519 This sentence is unclear corrected manageme nt Jens Dauber 2 ES 5 30 5 33 It might be mentioned here that those extensive Explicitly mentioned in revision: Extensively agricultural landscapes are often threatened by used traditional landscapes frequently contain abandonment of farming. high quality habitats and species-rich pollinator communities (well established). These landscapes are often threatened by abandonment of farming (cessation of grazing or mowing of grasslands), which has been observed in temperate regions (well established). (2.2.2.2.1) Jens Dauber 2 Land 24 603 24 608 On this topic see also Diekötter et al. GCB Bioenergy Inserted into the former paragraph. manageme (2014) 6, 219–226, doi: 10.1111/gcbb.12080: "Thus, nt growth of the co-occurring species’ community is not stimulated by the resource pulse provided by oilseed rape early in the year, but by persistent resources provided by seminatural habitats after mass flowering."

Jochen 2 ES 7 74 7 74 make clearer that "introduction of non-native species" Revised, now reads: There are examples Frund refers to species escaping from managed populations globally where the introduction of non-native here, to avoid confusion and keep the topic of the managed bee species (honeybees, bumble paragraph focused bees) has resulted in escapes that subsequently led to competitive exclusion of native bee species (established but incomplete) Jochen 2 ES 7 78 7 79 (here and elsewhere) I find the combination of "empirical The terms are used are in reference to the Frund evidence lacking" and "well established" quite confusing facts mentioned, and if it is the limited wording; I wouldn't use such apparently contraditctory knowledge, then this lack of knowledge might combinations (well established to be unknown??). be a well established fact. However we agree Otherwise, the new categories (that replaced the levels of in this case that the wording was confusing, confidence used in the first order draft) are an Accordingly we reworded this bullet. It now improvement. reads : The same risks may exist for intensively managed solitary and stingless bees, but as these species are generally managed on a smaller scale than honeybees, empirical evidence is still lacking (speculative).

Jochen 2 ES 7 83 7 84 the grouping of bees is a bit unclear here: if bumblebees Now reads: "major threat to the health of Frund and solitary bees are together, who are the "other wild managed bees - including honeybees (well bees"? Stingless bees? Or does it include social halictids? established), bumblebees and solitary bees Or sth else? This might be solved e.g. by changing the (established but incomplete) - and also to wild "solitary bees" in L83 to "a few solitary bees" bees (established but incomplete)." The point is that managed bees include those separate groups but there are also wild relatives who can be similarly threatened.

Jochen 2 ES 8 108 8 108 the statement as written doesn't seem to be that well Revised in light of this comment now reads: Frund established, and it also has a different meaning than the Climate change impacts on pollinators, "climatic debt" described in 2.6.2.2; 2.6.2.2 actually pollination and agriculture may be describes that insect pollinators may not have this long manifested in the short-term (years) to longer- response time; in addition, species that are slow in term (decades) depending on the pollinator tracking climate change and move to new areas might still species, but it is possible the full impacts on be immediately negatively affected ("impacts" sounds like nature and agriculture will not be fully a focus on the negative effects of climate change); range apparent for many decades, due to long shifts and other adaptation mechanisms might actually response times in and complexity of make impacts appear more drastic on the short term ecological systems (well established). than on the long term, quite different from the message of this sentence (notwithstanding that what the sentence currently says might be true for some cases and systems) Jochen 2 ES 10 148 10 150 These two sentences don't justify a separate paragraph; We have removed this part from the ES due to Frund just notional evidence and slightly beyond the scope of the reviewer comments and the speculative the chapter. character of the statement Jochen 2 Land 28 733 28 this subsection seems to have a misleading title, as results This subsection was replaced and the whole Frund manageme discussed do not appear to focus exclusively on prairie land management section was restructured to nt habitats cover better arable lands, grasslands and different aspects of management on these.

Jochen 2 Bee 79 2352 80 2391 This is an interesting box, but I think the title is somewhat The text was initially longer and dealing with Frund manageme misleading: it doesn't present much information about crop pollination, but had to be shortened. The nt effects on crop pollination; regarding the single case title is changed accordingly, thanks for study on crop pollination discussed, it should be made highlighting. clearer how overabundance of B. terrestris could negatively effect raspberry pollination (of which it should be a good pollinator)

Jochen 2 Invasives 87 2589 87 2605 the stabilizing effect of network nestedness should be Thank you for this valid point. We have added Frund treated more carefully here; it has not been shown words that imply caveat e.g 'potential' and empirically and relies on likely unrealistic models (no 'may' along with a new sentence highlighting competition for floral resources, static network the lack of biological realisim, due to data structure); it's effect on robustness against species loss is limitations, and thus due caution in contingent on which species are lost (related to what is interpretation being said in LL 2606-2610, asymmetry and nestedness may cause particular vulnerability to loss of the "generalist core"); a decrease in modularity might also mean a decrease in stability; in short, I would focus on describing that invasive plants are integrated into pollination webs and what the empirical patterns are, and then finish with a cautious note about potential consequences based on models; the very fact that alien plants are integrated into pollination webs calls for caution regarding conclusions from models that assume static network structure. Jochen 2 Invasives 90 2705 91 2720 I have the feeling that this paragraph represents a view Revised: "Alien honey bee populations have Frund somewhat underemphasizing negative effects of invasive become readily integrated into pollinator Apis species; I think that negative effects are widely communities and direct competition for food believed by scientists, e.g. in the Neotropics (Roubik et has sometimes altered native wild bee al./ Journal of Tropical Ecology / Volume 2 / Issue 02 / behaviour and reproductive success in a May 1986, pp 97-111) and Australia, and this literature is locale, although these species interactions are not well represented in this paragraph; current evidence highly dynamic (Dohzono and Yokoyama, may not be very clear, but still the more pessimistic view 2010; Roubik, 1980; Roubik and Wolda, 2001; should be mentioned Thomson, 2004; Traveset and Richardson, 2006). There have been very few reports of invasive alien honey bees through such competition reducing the survival or densities of native wild bees (Kenis et al., 2009; Paini, 2004; Roubik and Wolda, 2001; Yang, 2005) and to date no extinctions recorded (Goulson, 2003; Moritz et al., 2005; Paini, 2004; Traveset and Richardson, 2006). "

Kailash 2 General 1 1 164 5853 The chapters have been compiled very meticulously, Thaks for your nice comment; details will be Chandra there are very minor corrections in the whole documents streamlined like et al. have not been made italic; few places species names are not italic ; under 'References' Journal names are not uniform, abbreviations and full nme of journals are given.

Kailash 2 Tables 1 5 1 5 Winfree et al. will be Winfree et al., Will be streamlined (we guess you mean Chandra "italics") Kailash 2 Tables 1 7 1 8 Syrphids may be changed to Flies (Syrphids) Thanks, done Chandra Kailash 2 Tables 2 13 2 14 et al. in all references will be et al. Done Chandra Kailash 2 Tables 4 15 4 15 Valk et al 2012 shall be Valk et al 2012 corrected Chandra Kailash 2 Figures 4 44 4 45 neonicotinoids shall be Neonicotinoids no capital Chandra Kailash 2 Tables 5 55 5 55 van der Valk et al 2012 shall be van der Valk et al 2012 this refers to the table part; there we have Chandra adjusted this Kailash 2 ES 8 28 10 29 et al. in all references will be et al. IPBES style will be standardised throughout Chandra the document at final copy editing.

Kailash 2 ES 9 111 9 112 the species names of butterflies and bumble bees may be The page and line numbers seem to be Chandra written in italics erroneous here. However all styles will be standardised on IPBES style during copy editing Kailash 2 ES 9 113 9 113 Rasmont et al. 2015a shall be Rasmont et al. 2015a The page and line numbers seem to be Chandra erroneous here. However all styles will be standardised on IPBES style during copy editing Kailash 2 ES 9 113 9 114 Settele et al. 2008 Settele et al. 2008 The page and line numbers seem to be Chandra erroneous here. However all styles will be standardised on IPBES style during copy editing Kailash 2 Figures 10 146 10 147 In the figure 2.7.1 there are no yellow or red arrows Will be corrected while working with the Chandra graphic designer Kailash 2 Tables 11 35 11 36 et al. in all references will be et al. corrected Chandra Kailash 2 Tables 12 39 16 40 All the places change from A . cerenae to A. cerena; all Done. Chandra the species names in italic Kailash 2 Tables 16 42 19 136 The species names available in the references may be Done. Chandra written in italics Kailash 2 Land use 20 139 20 139 et al. to be changed to et al. will be harmonized later Chandra Kailash 2 Land use 20 140 20 141 et al. to be changed to et al. will be harmonized later Chandra Katherine 2 Intro 11 176 11 176 Replace 'like' with 'including'. Done Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 12 221 12 223 This sentence needs a supporting reference. Done. Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 13 235 13 238 Suggest using colours that are contrasting different for the colors and shapes have been changed. Baldock arrow colours. I struggled to note the difference between orange and brown and these are colours a colour-blind perosn may struggle to distinguish between. Katherine 2 Land use 13 235 13 238 I'm not sure that the legend appropriately reflects the The legend has been reworded. Baldock figure. Can the word 'relationships' be replaced with something else as I'm not sure how this shows relationships. Rather it is a flow of potential effects of factors on different features of plant and pollinator biodiversity. Katherine 2 Land use 13 242 13 242 Both 'changed' and 'changes' used in same sentence. The first sentence has been now deleted. Baldock Suggest 'changed' is replaced with 'altered'.

Katherine 2 Land use 13 243 13 243 Again suggest replace 'change' with 'alter'. We have kept our initial wording, since here Baldock the land cover is changed (replaced) by another type of land cover. Katherine 2 Land use 13 245 13 246 I think a 'change' is missing after 'land use'. Done. Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 13 245 13 246 I think you mean 'As well as' rather than 'Instead of'. See point 146 Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 13 246 13 247 This implies that species don't survive if the land use We think that this comment issues from a Baldock changes completely rather than deteriorates, which is not misunderstanding of the definition of 'habitat' always true. we use in this work. Indeed, habitat has been defined (see definition box) as the locations in which all the resources exist for a species to survive and reproduce. From that perspective, habitat loss directly implies the dissaperance of the species in question. It is indeed important to differentiate habitat loss/degradation from land use change. We are confident taht teh inclusion of a new definition box, in which these terms are explicitly defined improves the clarity of this section. Katherine 2 Land use 13 248 13 248 Rephrase 'reduces' with 'can reduce'. The phrasing at the Done. Baldock moment implies that destruction of natural habitat will always have these effects but this is not true (as shown in Table 2.2.1). Katherine 2 Land use 13 250 13 250 Not clear which Figure is referred to here - is is Fig. 2.2.2? corrected. Thanks for pointing this. Baldock Likewise Table 1 numbering needs updating. Katherine 2 Land use 13 250 13 250 Replace 'Certain pollinators' with 'Some pollinator groups'. Done. Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 13 251 13 251 Will readers understand what Hymenoptera and Chapter 1 gives an introduction to the Baldock Lepidoptera are or do these terms need further text different pollinator groups. From that added to explain that this means bees, wasps and ants for persepctive, when the reader gets to Chapter Hymenoptera and butterflies and moths for Lepidoptera. 2, these concepts should have been already In fact do the studies only shown serious decline for bees, clarified. In that context, when we here refer rather than wasps and ants - in which case be clear you to Hymenoptera and Lepidoptera, we make mean bees rather than all Hymenoptera. reference to those that are actual pollinators, and not necessarily all the species included in these orders. We think that put in that context, the sentence does not need to be modified. Katherine 2 Land use 13 252 13 252 Clarify what is meant by 'habitat conversion history', this Done. Baldock needs a bit more explanation. Katherine 2 Land use 13 253 13 253 Replace 'certain' with 'particular'. Done. Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 13 256 13 256 replace 'to monocultures' with 'with monocultures'. Done. Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 13 259 13 259 Be clear what you mean by 'pollinator responses', as you The sentence has been modified accordingly. Baldock are referring to beekeepers I think you mean responses by honey bees rather than other pollinator groups as well so make sure it is clear you are talking about honey bees only. Katherine 2 Land use 13 262 13 262 Again be clear about what type of 'bees' you are talking Done. Baldock about. I think you mean honey bees. Katherine 2 Land use 13 264 13 264 Do you mean 'often' as in it happens sometimes and not Done. Baldock others. I think better to replace this word with 'can'.

Katherine 2 Land use 14 274 14 274 You need to explain what beebread is, or make sure it is "beebread" has been replaced by "pollen Baldock in the glossary, also make it clear that this sentence is loads". See also answer to point 171. about honey bees rather than all bees. Katherine 2 Land use 14 274 14 277 Are there any other references to support this point. The mentioned reference is a meta-analysis, Baldock meaning that it already includes several studies. Katherine 2 Land use 14 277 14 280 This is a fairly definite statement, but I would argue the Done. Baldock evidence doesn't exist to support this point conclusively. Can you rephrase to make the statement less definite and suggest this as a possible explanation. Katherine 2 Land use 14 281 14 288 These are important points. Thank you for including. thanks! Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 14 291 14 291 Rephrase 'Many studies have shown fruit set to be Done. Baldock directly correlated…' Katherine 2 Land use 14 292 14 294 I don't agree with this statement. What if changes in Although this is a logical option, the data does Baldock pollinator diversity mean reduced competition for one not demonstrate that is the case. The pollinator species which then increases in abundance - sentence has been now modified to justify our plants pollinated by this species may increase their fruit statement. set. Katherine 2 Land use 14 294 14 294 Replace 'hard' with 'difficult'. Done. Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 14 297 14 297 Rephrase as 'habitat loss more negatively affects'. Done. Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 15 301 15 301 Specify where to look below for more information - which Done. Baldock section? Katherine 2 Land use 15 301 15 301 Don't put insect in brackets. Done Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 15 306 15 306 I've never seen the term 'out-competition' before. I think see answer to comment 191. Baldock I can work out what it means but could you use a different word? Katherine 2 Land use 15 310 15 310 Give more information about what the 'intrinsic The paragraph has been now reworded and Baldock characteristics' are. Anyone who doesn't work with this mention does not appear anymore. Also, pollination networks won't know what this means. we now direct the reader to a definition box of ecological network concepts, as well as to Chapters 1 and 3, where the concepts related to networks are presented and explained.

Katherine 2 Land use 15 311 15 313 Explain more about how generalist pollinators confer Following this, the reader is now sent to the Baldock resilience to pollination networks. Again if someone following section, where these concepts are doesn't work with pollination networks they won't know more developed, as well as to Chapters 1 and what this means. 3. Katherine 2 Land use 15 317 15 317 Words are missing from this sentence. I think you mean Done Baldock 'changes in land use fragments and alters…'. Katherine 2 Land use 15 318 15 318 Again, I think 'changes in' is missing before 'land use'. Done Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 15 321 15 321 Switch word order to read 'relative spatial'. Done Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 15 325 15 325 Re Fig. 2.2.2 I don't understand why the green rectangles Thanks for pointing this out. We have now Baldock simply reduce in size. If they represent fragmentation modified the figure accordingly. than surely the middle rectangle should be made of multiple smaller rectangles and the top one made up of even more and smaller rectangles.

Katherine 2 Land use 15 326 15 326 This figure is not referred to in the text. corrected. Thanks for pointing this. Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 16 349 16 349 Remove the braackets around 'functional' and briefly Based on this comment we have reevaluated Baldock explain what functional diversity is. this sentence, and we have now deleted the word "functional". We think that the word does not add clarity to the message and has the potential to divert the reader's attention towards a non-fundamental detail.

Katherine 2 Land use 17 370 17 376 Can you add some specific examples in to illustrate these done. Baldock points. Katherine 2 Land use 17 379 17 379 Modularity will need further explanation for non-network see response to comment 194 Baldock specialists. Katherine 2 Land use 17 381 17 381 Further explanation of rewiring required. see response to comment 194 Baldock Katherine 2 Land use 20 461 20 463 It is not clear to me what is meant by 'land use' in this This category has been now modified into Baldock table. Do you mean 'land use change'? "landscape modification" Katherine 2 Land 20 466 20 466 The word 'field' is not needed. Done. Baldock manageme nt Katherine 2 Land 21 498 21 499 What do you mean by 'potential' of strawberry Revised. Baldock manageme pollination? nt Katherine 2 Land 21 499 21 502 I don't follow the intention behind this sentence, I can't Revised sentence. Baldock manageme see how the first part of the setence relates to the second nt part. Further clarification is needed. Katherine 2 Land 23 571 23 576 It is not clear to me how this example results in Revised. Baldock manageme facilitation. Further clarification required. nt Katherine 2 Land 25 625 25 625 There have also been studies on almonds (including This is not really fitting with the definition of Baldock manageme papers by C Brittain) and apples (including papers by M agroforestry that we provided at the nt Garratt). Almonds and apples both grow on trees so beginning of the section. would they count as agroforestry systems?

Katherine 2 Land 25 628 25 631 The second part of the sentence contrasts solitary bees Good point; wording fixed. Baldock manageme with bees in the first part of the sentence. Should the first nt part of the sentence mention a particular type of bee rather than just 'bees'. Comparing solitary bees to bees doesn't make sense.

Katherine 2 Land 26 666 26 666 Give an idea of the scale of the increase in use of fertiliser Figure is added. Baldock manageme - is it a small increase, or has it doubled, or tripled? nt Katherine 2 Land 26 676 26 676 What is a small-scale plant-pollinator network - Revised as "plant-pollinator networks at small Baldock manageme clarification of this will help non-specialist readers. spatial scale ". nt Katherine 2 Land 27 702 27 702 What is a squash bee? Explained. Peponapis spp. and Xenoglossa spp. Baldock manageme nt Katherine 2 Land 28 734 28 735 Can you define what a prairie is as I don't know what it is. Defined. Baldock manageme In which kinds of agricultural systems are they found and nt in which parts of the world? We don't have them in the UK, for example. Katherine 2 Land 30 783 30 783 In which country is the Cevennes National Park? In France, added. Baldock manageme nt Katherine 2 Land 33 875 33 877 What do you mean by 'leading countries'? Sentence is revised, word "leading" is deleted. Baldock manageme nt Katherine 2 Land 33 897 33 898 Can you add some references to support this statement? Done. Baldock manageme nt Kimiko 2 ES 5 13 5 13 I do not understand the logic of increased firtilizer use It is an indirect effect on pollinators mediated Okabe declined pollinator richness. by loss of floral resources in nutrient enriched fields (certain plants e.g grasses are able to exploit the nutrification to dominate other, often flowering, plant species. The statement in bold is built upon the non-bold text where this is explained further and then referenced to relevant section of the report.

Kimiko 2 ES 7 81 8 89 One of the major threats of commercialized bee colonies Varroa is specifically mentioned in the Okabe (A. mellifera) is the Varroa mite, which was introduced revision and also the point about humna- into A. mellifera colonies in Europ by beekeepers from mediated host shifts, it now reads: Pollinators the Russian far east in around 1904 and later (Crane E often suffer from a broad range of parasites (1988) In Africanized honey bees and bee mites, Ellis and pathogens, including the Varroa mite and Horwood). Mite introduction is also concerned in the viral strains it transmits to honeybees commercialized bumblebees (Goka 2001 Molecular (well established). Emerging and re-emerging Ecology 10, 2095–2099). Thus, not only direct cause, i.e. diseases (e.g. due to host shifts, including host-shift but introduction of exotic pathogens and those mediated by accidental human organisms should also be focused here and in the section transport of alien pests) are a major threat... 2.4. Kimiko 2 Invasives 85 2551 88 2632 In the sub-section, interactions between exotic and native Added text: There have been no studies (to Okabe polant species is mostly discussed although the effect of our knowledge at the time of writing) that results of the interactions on food production/ pollinators have examined the impact of invasive alien usuful for food production should be more focused. wild plants on food crops, which represents a significant knowledge gap.

KR Shivanna 2 Land use 13 250 13 250 Should be Figure 2.2.1 and Table 2.2.1 corrected. Thanks for pointing this.

KR Shivanna 2 Land use 18 405 18 407 Along with self-incompatible plants, dioecious plants may Although this may be so, we could not find also be included with an explanation that both require any study demonstrating such a trend. For pollen transport across conspecific plants. that reason, we have now added a mention to this, and pointed that this is a knowledge gap.

KR Shivanna 2 Land use 18 413 18 413 Figure No. has to be corrected with reference to Chapter 3 We are here referring to Figure 2.2.3. To clarify this, the reference here has been now corrected. KR Shivanna 2 Land 23 567 23 567 stigmas causing pollen clogging (block of stamens) The Remowed. manageme matter in parenthesis is not clear, it may be removed nt KR Shivanna 2 Land 24 585 24 585 400 oilseed rape flowers per visit Is this per bout? changed to bout manageme nt KR Shivanna 2 Land 24 608 24 610 Although …. is unlikely to cause reduction in seeds set of It is acknowledged that reduced flower manageme wild plants. Not necessarily so. In fact it may indicate less visitation rates may also cause compatition. nt number of visits of the pollinators to the wild plants and thus pollination limitation of wild plants. In the absence of data on pollination efficiency and the number of conspecific pollen on the stigmas of wild plants, this conclusion cannot be drawn.

KR Shivanna 2 Land 35 953 35 957 The extent of pollution in the urban area may also be We are not aware of any published studies manageme added as a determinant. that link pollution levels with pollinator nt abundance, diversity or pollination services. We could consider adding this to the text if the referee can provide a reference linking pollinators or pollintion to pollution levels.

KR Shivanna 2 Diseases 70 2076 70 2076 Viruses are a factor decline. I cannot understand this Fixed sentence. KR Shivanna 2 Figures Figure Arrows have to be coloured (yellow/red) Colours were changed to black and white. 2.6.1 KR Shivanna 2 Figures Figure Not clearly understandable in the present form. corrected 2.7.1 KR Shivanna 2 Tables Table Sorry, no comment has been in the 2.6.1 document, thus we can't reply KR Shivanna 2 Tables Table Difficult to understand this Table in the present form see answer to comment 976 2.2.1 KR Shivanna 2 General Not clearly understandable in the present form. Sorry, no idea to which part of our text this refers to Leonel 2 ES 10 148 10 150 No information enough in the main document to sustain We have removed this part from the ES due to Sierralta that. It could cause a strong reaction from "other the reviewer comments and the speculative markets" countries. character of the statement Leonel 2 Land use 14 281 14 282 Very loose concept of niche. There is no empty niche based on this comment, we have now deleted Sierralta since niche is a particular relation of one species with its the mention to niche. Indeed, the use of that environment, so there is no available niche. Probably concept was unclear and redundant. We right idea is that species can exploit a greater thank the reviewer for pointing this. number/variety of resources. Leonel 2 Land use 17 382 17 382 Clarify concept of secondary extinctions. Done Sierralta Leonel 2 Land 26 665 26 666 Give a figure of the fertilizer increase since 1960.- Figure is added. Sierralta manageme nt Leonel 2 Land 27 690 27 702 A figure should mention about differences in productivity New content is added about the effect of no- Sierralta manageme between tillage and no tillage agriculture systems. As is till systems on crop yield. nt writen seems obvious that non tillage should be adopted right a way and that is not the case. Production differences could be huge.

Leonel 2 Land 30 782 30 786 Language should be more neutral. Looks like authors are Modified. Sierralta manageme recommending practices, and this not the place to do it in nt the chapter. Leonel 2 Land 31 825 32 868 Fire: Should be clarified that the examples given Thank you for the suggestion, but to Sierralta manageme corresponds to areas where natural fires are occurring incorporate this aspect recommendation on a nt and has been an evolutive force. In areas where fire is not peer-reviewed paper would be needed to cite. an evolutive force (Central Chile, for example where fire is man made from recent history) other results could be obtained. Leonel 2 Pesticides 50 1424 50 1424 Error in word "applied". Same error in figure 2.3.4. amended Sierralta Leonel 2 Pesticides 55 1588 55 1588 Error in words contributeto amended Sierralta Leonel 2 Pesticides 64 1868 64 1868 Nickel and aluminium are not common soil pollutants. corrected Sierralta Aluminium is a common soil constituent. Nickel is a very uncommon polutant. Leonel 2 Pesticides 64 1882 64 1882 Arsenic is a common by product in copper production corrected Sierralta Les Davies 2 ES 6 34 Insecticides are not the only pesticides that can be toxic added for example to bees - fungicides and some of the 'inerts', esp. surfactants, can be toxic as well. Les Davies 2 Land use 16 348 16 349 Research by ME Saunders (2014) on the juxtaposition of added. Thanks for the reference! commercial almond plantations and native woodlands and wild pollinator communities can be found at http://garyluckresearch.com/attachments/MESaunders_T hesis_2014.pdf (with other publications listed therein).

Les Davies 2 Land 24 587 Caution in stating that Australian oilseed production is Australia is deleted. manageme not steadily increasing in Australia - see Figure 3 at nt http://cereals.ahdb.org.uk/markets/market- news/2014/september/16/prospects-australian-crop- update.aspx and table of exports to the 2012/13 season at http://www.australianoilseeds.com/oilseeds_industry/ind ustry_facts_and_figures. While canola production in 2013/14 was down 12% nationally, impacted by drought in the eastern states, this canola harvest is the second- largest on record (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-02- 11/record-winter-crop-for-wa/5251438 ).

Les Davies 2 Land 27 691 702 Australia has been a major adopter of no-till farming I could not find a good peer-reviewed paper manageme systems and there should be some data on its impacts on on this particular subject to cite, however, nt native bees eg. http://agex.org.au/media/native-bees-in- Ch6 also deals with conservation farming cropping-systems?/ systems and might include more details on that. Les Davies 2 Invasives 90 2681 91 2739 DC Paton has published on the impacts of introduced This citation is now covered by the inclusion European honey bees on Australian flora and fauna e.g. of a review (Paini D.R. (2004). Impact of the http://catalogue.nla.gov.au/Record/1548556 introduced honey bee (Apis mellifera) (Hymenoptera: Apidae) on native bees: A review. Austral Ecology, 29, 399-407.) as suggested by another reviewer, there are many examples in this review of impacts in Australia. Les Davies 2 General General comments: The chapter contains a reasonably Thank you! In order to have digestible well-balanced discussion of the ongoing controversy information for different levels of in-depth- about bees and neonicotinoid insecticides. The chapter interest there is the divison between main contains a lot of useful infiormation - although a concern text, executive summary and SPM is that the length of the document might limit its use.

Les Davies 2 Land I note that the full citation for Hoyle et al (2010) – cited Thanks; actually the citation had the wrong manageme on page 23 and 24 (lines 584 and 586) is missing from the year, it is Hoyle et al. 2007 and now is nt reference list. included in the references: Hoyle M, Hayter K, Cresswell JE. Effect of pollinator abundance on self-fertilization and gene flow: application to GM canola. Ecol Appl. 2007;17:2123–2135.

Liliana 2 General 0 0 0 0 General Comments In general terms and given the global We have tried to get mores studies included Bravo character of IPBES, it could be useful to cite more especially from areas not well represented in studies from different parts around the world: Europe, order to achieve a better balance and also the Americas (North, Central, South), have tried to mention the geographical Africa, Asia, Australia/Oceania. In line with this and framing of the studies (see e.g. comments 847 according to the availability of and 848) bibliography, it might be useful and informative to mention explictly the geographical location of studies. Liliana 2 General 0 0 0 0 It might be also beneficial to include a section that Thanks for this valuable comment. Bravo describes in more detail indirect drivers Unfortunately at this late stage and given the of change in pollinators and polination services e.g. available expertise we cannot delve very institutions, agricultural policies, deeply into the indirect social drivers you governance arrangements, markets, several social factors, mention. We have however responded to attitudes and perceptions, etc. several reviewer comments which have Current draft slightly includes info as well as one page at greatly improved section 2.8. We have also, the end of the chapter following your comments, added in this (section 2.8, p.112). Given that both farm mangement revision a sentence: "For example, direct and the surrounding landscape drivers of change in pollinators and are strongly influenced by the local / regional socio- pollination such as land management and cultural context, it could be interesting landscape structure are are strongly to provide more info in this regard (see for instance, influenced by the local or regional socio- Bravo-Monroy et. al 2015; full citation is cultural or economic context (Bravo-Monroy mentioned above). et al. (2015) Agriculture, Ecosystems and Environment 211: 145-154) Liliana 2 ES 5 2 5 2 Regarding the Executive Summary: It might be helpful to We have now followed the more scientific Bravo include an introductory paragraph describing/presenting orientation and the idea of highlighting the common thread running through the chapter: in specific elements; while it will be the SPM making-decision processes. The use of accessible and where the main threads across the simple language can help to facilitate multiple drivers of assessment are coming together and where change of pollinators…It could be also useful to provide the attempt is to have an ever better more information since it may be aimed for those accessible language involved in making-decision processes. The use of accessible and simple language can help to facilitate its reading. Liliana 2 Intro 11 172 11 177 In relation to Introduction: 1) From a reader's point of These aspects are dealt with in chapter 1, Bravo view, it might be convenient to include a sentence that which sets the overall scene describes a more direct link between pollinators, pollination, food production, and semi-natural parts of ecosystems. For instance, it could be interesting to mention info related to the crucial role of pollinators and their pollination services in gene flows to maintain biodiversity, ecosystem restoration and food production. Liliana 2 Intro 11 191 11 195 2) It may be possible that a reader reads this chapter Thanks; we have now added the following Bravo independent of the rest of the report, sentence: "Possible responses and options to it could be relevant to mention that possible responses / remediate effects of drivers, incl. tools or opportunities / options / tools / instruments are dealt with especially in instruments / recommendations / or practices for chapter 6, with specific discussions pertaining decision makers at different scales can to scale (local, national, regional and global)" be found on a subsequent chapter

Liliana 2 Land use 11 19 With regard to Section 2.2 Land use and its changes: For 1), we have now treated this topic at the Bravo 1) It could be helpful to include a brief introduction (e.g. a beginning of the ES, and this appears now as paragraph) on this section related an introductory paragraph. This is also to the influence of socio-economic and/or policy factors, covered partially in the land management which affect decisions about section. For 2), we have now taken care of land-use, landscape structure and land management at adding more examples. global / regional / local scales, since changes in land-use influence pollinators, plants and their interactions. For instance, the changing demand for food in ways that are socially and environmentally sustainable. First and second paragraph on page 12 include general ideas but it could be helpful to include more information (Please see my second general comment below). 2) In general terms, from a reader's perspective, it would be interesting to include specific info/cases related to: locations (e.g. regions), natural ecosystems, agroecosystems, particular crops. In other words, to locate information in defined places and (agro)ecosystems. In this way, the reading of the section can be enhanced.

Liliana 2 Land use 12 213 12 214 It could be useful to provide some details concerning We have now clarified this sentence. Bravo cultural background. Liliana 2 Land use 13 235 13 238 Figure 2.2.1: It could be useful to change the graphic This is a good point. However, because of the Bravo visual representation of information. conceptual nature of this figure, and to avoid For instance: to include real pictures of pollinator comments such as #136, we have decided to diversity, plants/forests and a real photo use some graphics instead. Moreover, chapter where the interaction plant-pollinator is visible. Orchid 1 already presents pictures as the one the bees (Tribe Euglossini) show variety Reviewer mentions. of beautiful colours that may be useful as well as vibrant interactions with orchids. Similarly, photos where reader can see example(s) of habitat loss or increased isolation of forest patches; finally to include images of plant reproductives success e.g. fruits, seeds, new plants. Liliana 2 Land use 14 290 15 306 It could be useful to mention cases related to the Done. Bravo negative effect of habitat loss/degradation on fruit set and insect-pollinated plants. Liliana 2 Land use 18 403 19 459 It might be useful to present graphic visual information Thanks for the comment. We are already Bravo about habitat isolation and connectivity e.g., by using a showing this type of information in Figure map of a land-use cover. 2.2.2. Further, the legend for that figure has been now reworded, to make this more explicit. Liliana 2 Land 20 472 20 485 It might be useful to adopt a different approach here. For Previously we did use this organisation but Bravo manageme instance, starting from global to reviewers suggested to organise other way to nt regional/local ideas e.g., a brief introduction with data of avoid high redundancy. global land cover by continents; afterwards continuing with information related to regional / local land-uses e.g., agri-environmental schemes, environmental friendly management methods, IPM, tropical agroecosystems, etc.

Liliana 2 Land 20 487 21 490 It might be useful to provide some details or types of More details are provided in the glossary, as Bravo manageme diversified farming systems. cited. nt Liliana 2 Land 21 494 21 497 More details on organic farming and other Bravo manageme "... Pollination success of different crops": It might be diversification methods as mitigation nt useful to provide more examples about processes in agricultural fields are provided in success in terms of increment on quality, quantity of Chapter 6 (cross referenced). fruit/seed set of different crops located on several regions.

Liliana 2 Land 21 518 22 532 A comment regarding the use of language or expressions The term "industrial agriculture" is changed to Bravo manageme such as: "conventional" through the land management nt "organic and conventional fields" ; "organic and industrial section. agriculture" It might be helpful to also take account of conventional fields can include different management styles compared to industrial agriculture. For instance, conventional management can be found in coffee agroforestry systems (e.g. smallholders) and that management is different to industrial agriculture (e.g. large scale farming). The farm scale perspective is particularly important in Latin America where smalholder production is predominant. Liliana 2 Land 22 535 22 549 A comment related to the approach to the subject: Thank you for your suggestion, but this kind Bravo manageme I would kindly suggest to adopt a general-to-particular of general introduction is the subject of nt approach i.e. from generalities about Chapter 1. types and locations of diverse agricultural systems to detailed ideas about pollination. Thus, wording might place emphasis on the impact of both floral abundance and the availability/type of crop and non-cropped flowers on the temporal and spatial availability of food, nesting, overwintering and mating sites for pollinators. Liliana 2 Land 23 570 23 578 According to the same bibliographic reference Thank you for the suggestions. Reference Bravo manageme (Carvalheiro et. al 2011): It might be helpful (Carvalheiro et al. 2001) and suggested nt to also refer to interactions between honeybees and content is added. Deatails and reference by other insects (e.g. butterflies Rader et al. 2013. and Herrera 1990. were and moths), which enhance honeybee movement among finally not added to avoid repettition through sunflower heads. the assessment. Additional references might be also useful to mention such as Rader et al. (2013), who studied pollination services by bees and flies which display different effectiveness of pollination. It is due to they provide pollination services at different times of the day. The full citation is the following: Rader, R., W. Edwards, W., Westcott, D.A., Cunningham, S.A., and Howlett, B.G. (2013). Diurnal effectiveness of pollination by bees and flies in agricultural Brassica rapa: implications for ecosystem resilience ." Basic and Applied Ecology 14(1): 20-27. Herrera (1990) also analyses similar topics as the fact that foraging activity of a pollinator assemblage depends on a combination of factors, e.g., insect body size determines differences in activity patterns. The full citation is the following: Herrera, C. M. (1990). "Daily patterns of pollinator activity, differential pollinating effectiveness, and floral resource availability, in a summer-flowering Mediterranean shrub." Oikos 58(3): 277-288. Liliana 2 Land 23 580 25 618 Regarding mass-flowering crops: Thank you, added. Bravo manageme It might be helpful to support this topic by mentioning nt that spatial and temporal changes in lanscape composition can cause transient concentration or dilution of pollinator populations with functional consequences (fourth hypothesis of Tscharntke et. al. 2012). The full citation is the following: Tscharntke, T., Tylianakis, J. M., Rand, T., Didham, R.K., Fahrig, L., Batary, P., Bengtsson, J., Clough, Y., Crist, T.O., Dormann, C.F., Ewers, R.M., Fruend, J., Holt, R.D., Holzschuh, A., Klein, A.M., Kleijn, D., Kremen, C., Landis, D., Laurance, W., Lindenmayer, D., Scherber, C., Sodhi, N., Steffan-Dewenter, I.,Thies, C., van der Putten, W., Westphal, C. (2012). "Landscape moderation of biodiversity patterns and processes - eight hypotheses." Biological Reviews 87(3): 661-685. Liliana 2 Land 25 621 25 627 It might be helpful to support this topic by mentioning We included part of these references. Bravo manageme some ideas related to agribiodiversity nt and tropical agricultural systems as habitats supporting biodiversity with high-quality matrix that permit the movement of organisms between patches of natural vegetation. More ideas can be found in the following reference: Perfecto, I. and J. Vandermeer (2008). "Biodiversity conservation in tropical agroecosystems: a new conservation paradigm." Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences 1134: 173-200. Ideas related to Traditional multiple cropping systems might be also helpful (for instance, see Altieri 2000, 1999). According to author's studies, those systems are estimated to provide 15–20% of the world’s food supply. Altieri, M. A. (2000). "Multifunctional dimensions of ecologically-based agriculture in Latin America." International Journal of Sustainable Development and World Ecology 7(1): 62-75. Altieri, M. A. (1999). "The ecological role of biodiversity in agroecosystems." Agriculture, Ecosystems & Environment 74: 19-31. The following idea according to McNeely and Scherr (2003) might be also helpful: In the Tropics, approximately 70% of land is given over to pastures, agriculture, or a mixture of managed landscapes. McNeely, J.A. and Scherr, S.J. (2003). Ecoagriculture: Strategies for Feed the World and Liliana 2 Land 25 638 25 640 It might be helpful to include a recent study (Bravo- Ref added. Bravo manageme Monroy et. al 2015) related to the effect of nt both crop management (organic vs. conventional) and the distance to the nearest forest on pollinators which in turn provided a 10.5 ± 2.0% increase in final coffee fruit set. Agricultural practices were assessed (e.g., shade cover, tree densities, tree diversity, coffee plantation age) Full citation is as follows: Bravo-Monroy L., Tzanopoulos J. and Potts S.G. (2015) “Ecological and social drivers of coffee pollination in Santander, Colombia”. Agriculture, Ecosystems and Environment 211: 145-154

Liliana 2 Land 26 665 26 671 It might be helpful to contrast fertilisers with the use of Thank you for the suggestion, however to Bravo manageme manure as it is cited by Altieri and keep the content more focused and nt Nicholls (2003): the application of animal manures as condensed, this study on soil biota may not nutrient sources generally be included here. increases the abundance and activity of soil biota. Microbial and protozoan activity are highest in organically fertilized agricultural soils, and the application of manure has been found to increase collembolan populations as well as the abundance and biomass of earthworms in cropped soils. Full citation is as follows: Altieri, M. A. and Nicholls, C. (2003). "Soil fertility management and insect pests: harmonizing soil and plant health in agroecosystems." Soil & Tillage Research 72(2): 203-211. Liliana 2 Land 28 725 28 727 We think that this aspect has already been Bravo manageme About weed control management: covered basically by the sentence. nt It might be valuable to take some particularities into account: it is common in different tropical regions finding weed growth in places where there is no competition with main crops (e.g. rural roadsides, at the edges of fields). In this way, rich pollen and nectar resources are available throughout the year, especially when main crop is not in bloom. Liliana 2 Land 33 871 33 878 It might be useful to include data about what percentage Unfourtunately I could not include such a Bravo manageme of world's food supply of crops table due to the lack of suitable information nt dependent on insect pollination are provided by dataset. greenhouse systems (e.g. according to FAO- FAOSTAT).

Liliana 2 Land 35 940 37 1010 About urban management: We have looked at these papers but only the Bravo manageme It might be helpful to include ideas of some studies done abstracts are in English. We don't speak nt in urban areas of the neotropics: Spanish so it is difficult for us to include Nates-Parra, G., Rodriguez, A. Vélez, D, Baquero, details of these studies in the report but we P.(2006). Abejas silvestres en have added some text to acknowledge studies ecosistemas urbanos (Insecta, Hymenoptera, Apoidea): in neotropical areas and included one of these estudio preliminar en la ciudad de papers as a reference along with further Bogotá y sus alrededores. Revista Colombiana de papers. Entomología. 32(1) Title of paper in English: "Wild bees in urban ecosystems - preliminar study in Bogota city and surroundings" Nates-Parra, G.,Rodríguez, C., Vélez, D. (2006). “Abejas sin aguijón (Hymenoptera: Apidae: Meliponini) en cementerios de la cordillera oriental de Colombia” Acta biológica, 11(1): 25-35 Title of paper in English: Stingless bees in cemeteries of eastern mountain range of Colombia" Liliana 2 Land 37 1013 39 1062 Regarding 2.2.3 Conclusion section: The issue of smallholder farmers and their Bravo manageme Given that multiple factors influence the adoption of a importance in food production is now nt land-use type, it might be helpful to included in the conclusions. include alternatives of use that promote agricultural yield and pollination services. It is particularly important in tropical smallholder agricultural systems where the implementation of agroecological alternatives, ecological intensification, and multifunctional sustainable landscapes could be viable options. It might be also beneficial to include contextual information as the following: food production is also related to land ownership. In this regard, according to the World Bank (2007), 90% of farmers worldwide have farms below 2 ha and 80% of hungry people live in developing countries where 50% of farmers are smallholders. It appears that agroecological alternatives may provide a way to achieve both high biodiversity and high yields in tropical smallholder agricultural systems (Perfecto and Vandermeer 2008a; 2008b). Given that chapter presents two subsections (land cover and spatial configuration; land management), it might be useful to include info related to two examples of land-use: land sparing and wildlife friendly farming. Thus, a reader might gain a better understanding of systems that integrate production and conservation on the same land; compared to those that separate Liliana 2 Bee 76 2244 84 2508 In general terms regarding pollinator management added a sentence to capture this on line 2308. Bravo manageme section (2.4.2): nt It might be useful to take into account that there are no formal management practices for commercial pollination in tropical countries (e.g. Colombia), where most farmers rely on ambient levels of pollination services provided by the local pollinator fauna (i.e. “unmanaged” pollinators). Often in these systems, beekeepers are primarily interested in honey production and not providing pollination services; particularly in the case of honeybees (Apis mellifera) and stingless bees. Practical considerations may therefore be taken into account to promote abundant and species-rich pollinator communities which in turn enhance agricultural yields e.g., by growing crops in close proximity to forest patches, fostering weed growth at the edges of farms, on rural Liliana 2 Bee 76 2245 78 2313 About the Honeybee management subsection (2.4.2.1): Added a sentence to capture this on line 2298. Bravo manageme The section places emphasis on negative effects of nt honeybee movement to new areas. It might be also helpful to include more information about different type of interactions or local bee patterns after honeybee arrival. For instance: According to Roubik (2009): The presence of newly- arrived feral Africanized honey bee Apis mellifera (Apidae) was assessed. Native bee populations were studied for 10-17 years in areas previously with few or no escaped European apiary honey bees (French Guiana, Panama and Yucatan, Mexico). The exotic Africanized honey bees did not produce a negative effect on native bees, including species that were solitary or highly eusocial. However, the native bees shifted their foraging time or floral species. Authors found that when faced with competition by African honey bees the native bees simply switch their feeding to similar trees, shrubs and vines that flower at the same time as their first preferences. A diversity of flowering plants in the rainforests afford native solitary bees alternate feeding choices and they take advantage of them. A principal conclusion is that such competition is silent, in floristically rich habitats, because bees compensate behaviorally for competition. Other factors limit their populations. The study of Brittain et al. (2013) in California is also Liliana 2 Bee 81 2414 83 2476 Aboutillustrative: the Stingless bee management subsection (2.4.2.3): done Bravo manageme nt Liliana 2 Bee 81 2415 81 2415 It might be beneficial to include additional references of added Bravo manageme South America, for instance nt Nates-Parra has studied Meliponini and associated meliponiculture. Suggested citations: Nates-Parra, G. (2004). Abejas Corbiculadas de Colombia [The Corbiculate Bees of Colombia] Bogotá: Universidad Nacional de Colombia. Nates-Parra, G. (2001). "Las abejas sin aguijón (Hymenoptera: Meliponini) de Colombia." Revista Biota Colombiana 2(3): 233 - 248. Liliana 2 Bee 84 2510 84 2524 Yes, you are ritgh about the interacion, Bravo manageme Concerning the Conclusion passage (2.4.3): however, this section is describing the effect nt Despite the fact that section places emphasis on of managment itself on pollinator decline, not separated management of pollinators, it the complementarity and interaction of could be worthwhile to include also a paragraph about managed and unmanaged specie on the complementarity and interactions pollination effectiveness. between bee species (and other insects) as occurs in many regions with "unmanaged" polinators. i.e. pollinator assemblages with impact on pollination efficiency and effectiveness. In line with this, it might be useful to include recommendations for promoting pollinator friendly habitats.

Linda Field 2 Pesticides 41 1128 41 1130 It needs references for these statements reference added

Linda Field 2 Pesticides 44 1235 44 1235 after ….pestcides) add or synergists amended

Linda Field 2 Pesticides 49 1404 49 1404 the use of the term 'prophylactic' needs defining and this deleted prophylactic for clarity and referred should perhaps include the fact that it does not mean to widespread use used unnecessarily, as the need to control some pests can be predicted Linda Field 2 Pesticides 50 1434 50 1434 at the first mention of 'sublethal' it should be defined They are already defined in the text as "the effects on individuals that survive exposure", but the sentence has been improved. Linda Field 2 Pesticides 55 1600 56 1634 Somewhere in this box there should be mention of the added fact that not all neonicotinoids are equally toxic to bees. There is a vast difference between say Thiacloprid which is relatively non-toxic to bees and Imidacloprid which is much more toxic Linda Field 2 Pesticides 62 1819 63 1842 This section is about 'veterinary medicines' but many of amended the chemical are also 'insecticdes/miticides' needs to be clarified Linda Field 2 Diseases 68 1994 68 1994 In this section on 'honeybee disease and pests' there Several comments wanted more detail on should be a section on direct effects of Varroa, this seems effects of Varroa; added extra text and to be missing and only its role as a virus vector is references on Varroa to the end of section discussed. It should include mention of control of Varroa 2.4.1.1.4 Parastitic mites. by 'grooming' as seen in Apis cerana

Luisa 2 ES 7 55 7 66 I think these 2 sections would stay better if merged into a Done Carvalheiro single paragraph Luisa 2 ES 8 94 8 95 I don't think there is scientific support for the statement: We understand your point. However, the Carvalheiro invasive plants rarely change overall pollinator diversity literature assessed does support the and abundance. That certainly depends on the scale at statement made. In the main revised text we which the evaluation is made. If we are talking of large state: "There is, however, little evidence from scale evaluations (e.g. country level), the statement is meta-analyses or reviews (Bjerknes et al., likely true, but if we are talking about finer spatial scales 2007; Montero-Castaño and Vilà, 2012; Stout (e.g. a small nature reserve) this is unlikely to be true, and Morales, 2009), and only very few specially if the invasive plant is a grass offering little floral individual examples (Lopezaraiza-Mikel et al., resources. I think the impact of invasive plants that do 2007; Moron et al., 2009; Nienhuis et al., not offer nectar has been little studied, so generalizations 2009) of alien plant invasions consistently should be cautious. But even with plants that do offer lowering overall pollinator diversity or nectar there are some examples in literature of local scale abundance". So we do acknowledge some impacts on pollinator richness (e.g. Lopezaraiza-Mikel et notable exceptions the the general pattern. al. 2007. Ecology Letters, doi: 10.1111/j.1461- Following your scomment we have now 0248.2007.01055.x revised the sentence in the executive summary to read: "Invasive alien plants and pollinators rarely change overall pollinator abundance or diversity (although there are several specific examples), but can have direct negative effects on particular native species (established but incomplete)."

Luisa 2 ES 10 148 10 150 This sentence on effects of environmental regulation for We have removed this part from the ES due to Carvalheiro pollinator conservation is a bit lonely. I think it would be the reviewer comments and the speculative good either to expand this topic and talk about other character of the statement conservation policies, or remove it.

Luisa 2 Land use 12 234 12 234 Figure 2.2.1 should have also an indirect effect arrow Done. Carvalheiro between pollinator diversity and pollinator movement, since inter-specific interactions are known to affect pollinator movement (see Greenleaf and Kremen 2006 cited in this Chapter; Carvalheiro et al. 2011 Ecology letters; cited in this chapter)

Luisa 2 Land use 18 441 18 441 replace 'fruit set'by 'crop fruit set' done Carvalheiro Luisa 2 Land use 19 452 19 453 as mentioned elsewhere in this Chapter, there are many Following this comment we have now Carvalheiro other possible explanations: e.g., complementary of modified this sentence and have now foraging habits; inter-specific interactions that enhance included some other possible explanations. effectiveness of the abundant pollinators. I suggets to either expand this sentence so that it covers more than one possible explanation, or remove this sentence.

Luisa 2 Land 20 489 21 492 this section may be interpreted by the reader as no Done. Carvalheiro manageme benefits were found in the tropics. I suggest to replace nt "was" by "could be" in line 490; and to write the following setence as "Such difference was found for Mediterranean and temperate regions, benefits being less accentuated in the tropics" Luisa 2 Land 22 523 22 523 I thinks its better to remove 'However"from the start of Done. Carvalheiro manageme the paragraph nt Luisa 2 Land 22 528 22 528 another example of large organic monoculture in Reference is added, thank you. Carvalheiro manageme mangoes in South Africa (refs could be Carvalheiro et al. nt 2010. J. Ap. Ecol. 47 810-820 or Carvalheiro et al. 2012 J. Ap. Ecol. 49, 1373–1383 Luisa 2 Land 23 570 23 570 This type of inter-specific interactions does not bring a Done. Carvalheiro manageme benefit to the pollinator itself, so its better to replace nt "pollinator species can also facilitate each other" by "pollinator species can also increase the efiiciency of each other" Luisa 2 Land 28 725 28 725 Lagerlof studied Fabaceae in Sweden, not sunflowers in Right, thank you for your note. Citation is Carvalheiro manageme South Africa replaced to the right sentence. nt Luisa 2 Land 34 922 34 922 another study showing the same but with wild (rather Added. Carvalheiro manageme than planted ) plants is Carvalheiro et al. 2011 Ecology nt Letters Luisa 2 Pesticides 44 1229 44 1229 In South Africa, pesticide use and isolation from natural references added Carvalheiro habitat were associated with declines in flying visitors and in mango production(Carvalheiro et al. 2012 J. Ap. Ecol. 49, 1373–1383), although this effect was not detected in a previous year (Carvalheiro et al. 2010. J. Ap. Ecol. 47 810-820) Luisa 2 Invasives 89 2662 89 2662 another indirect effect of predators is that, even when no Added this point, and citation to support it. Carvalheiro predation occurs, they can alter pollinators behaviour potentially affecting their efficency (e.g. Dukas 2001, Ecology Letters, vol 4, pp327–333; Dukas and Morse 2003, Oikos, vol 101, pp157–163)

Luisa 2 Invasives 90 2705 90 2708 while this might true there is evidence of changes in Revised: "Alien honey bee populations have Carvalheiro foraging patterns of native bees, at least in South America become readily integrated into pollinator (Roubik, Acta biol. Colomb., Vol. 14 N.º 2, 2009 115 - 124; communities and direct competition for food Roubik, Ecology, 61(4), 1980, Pr. 836-845 ) has sometimes altered native wild bee behaviour and reproductive success in a locale, although these species interactions are highly dynamic (Dohzono and Yokoyama, 2010; Roubik, 1980; Roubik and Wolda, 2001; Thomson, 2004; Traveset and Richardson, 2006). There have been very few reports of invasive alien honey bees through such competition reducing the survival or densities of native wild bees (Kenis et al., 2009; Paini, 2004; Roubik and Wolda, 2001; Yang, 2005) and to date no extinctions recorded (Goulson, 2003; Moritz et al., 2005; Paini, 2004; Traveset and Richardson, 2006). "

Luisa 2 Climate 94 2814 94 2814 replace 'food' by 'resources' (so that it can include water, we have removed this part of the senctence Carvalheiro change soil nutrients and other resources)

Luisa 2 Multiple 107 3232 107 3232 why the "but"? The first of the sentence does mention typo corrected Carvalheiro effects threats, and the second part of the sentence is just one example. Maybe it is better to replace "but" by "and"

Luisa 2 Indirect 112 3405 112 3406 This sentence refers to future trends, yet it is based on a Rephrased and a more recent reference has Carvalheiro effects study that is 16 years old. It would be good to either use been added a more recent reference or mention if such predictions are indeed happening Madeleine 2 Figures 1 4 1 4 2_figures yellow font not readable Will be worked out by graphic designer Chagnon Madeleine 2 General 2 title 2 title Drivers of changes in pollinator species, pollination Yes, that's the title, actually it is: "Drivers of Chagnon network ..... ? change of pollinators, pollination networks and pollination services"

Madeleine 2 Figures 4 44 4 50 2_figures is seed coating included in these data ? yes Chagnon Neonicotinoides seem low Madeleine 2 ES 6 43 6 44 are less well documented (if there are no studies it can in revision of this statement it now reads: The Chagnon not be controversial) few available field studies assessing effects of field-realistic exposure, provide conflicting evidence of effects based on the species studied and pesticide usage (established but incomplete)

Madeleine 2 ES 6 51 6 53 I do not agree. New studies have demonstrated clearly The revised text reads: "It is currently Chagnon effects on bumblebees unresolved how sublethal effects of pesticide exposure recorded for individual insects affects colonies and populations of managed bees and wild pollinators, especially over the longer term." Effects at higher levels of biological organsiation are not proven in the case of sublethal effects, this represents a knowledge gap. We do highlight in the same paragraph a sentence (pertaining to Rundlof et al): "There is evidence from a recent study showing field-scale impacts of neonicotinoids on wild pollinator survival and reproduction (established but incomplete)" to highlight the effect on bumblebee queen production - a colony parameter.

Madeleine 2 Figures 6 51 5 55 2_figures only 3 countries. Difficult to get a global picture This refers to Figure 2.3.2; the examples have Chagnon been chosen because of the availability of data Madeleine 2 ES 6 54 6 54 there is at lot of evidence (van der Sluis et al., 2014 The revised text reads: "It is currently Chagnon unresolved how sublethal effects of pesticide exposure recorded for individual insects affects colonies and populations of managed bees and wild pollinators, especially over the longer term." Effects at higher levels of biological organsiation are not proven in the case of sublethal effects, this represents a knowledge gap. Most evidence for sublethal impacts comes from lab/semi-field studies, not true field studies, and mostly is focussed on impacts on individuals. We do highlight in the same paragraph a sentence (pertaining to Rundlof et al): "There is evidence from a recent study showing field-scale impacts of neonicotinoids on wild pollinator survival and reproduction (established but incomplete)" to highlight the effect on bumblebee queen production - a colony parameter.

Madeleine 2 Figures 6 56 6 82 2_figures should include water puddles in feilds Samson- refers to figure 2.3.3; we tried to keep it Chagnon Robert et al., 2014 schematic and as simple as possible, thus we did not go too much into detail Madeleine 2 Figures 10 115 10 149 2_figures Should be on one whole page. Font is small. these are aspects of the final design which will Chagnon Interesting data dealt with through the support by a graphic designer Madeleine 2 Figures 10 149 10 149 see wording these are aspects of the final design which will Chagnon dealt with through the support by a graphic designer Madeleine 2 Pesticides 39 1079 39 1079 There are numerous scientific papers recently published We have added some really up-to-date Chagnon on this subject; no knowledge gap. references on this - and also according to these there are still remaining knowledge gaps. The text now reads: "Despite this high level of scrutiny, some knowledge gaps remain (Blacquière et al. 2012; Godfray et al. 2014; Lundin et al. 2015)"

Madeleine 2 Pesticides 45 1255 45 1256 add water puddles; Samon-Robert et al., 2014•DOI: water added Chagnon 10.1371/journal.pone.0108443 Madeleine 2 Pesticides 46 1289 46 1289 add water puddles; Samon-Robert et al•DOI: major routes of exposure identified; residues Chagnon 10.1371/journal.pone.0108443 have been detected but this has not been highlighted as a major route of exposure; added to text Madeleine 2 Pesticides 49 1408 49 1408 chronic what ?? chronic exposure ? amended Chagnon Madeleine 2 Pesticides 49 1409 50 1413 This is a very long sentence with opposing staments. amended Chagnon Difficult to read and understand. Mahmood- 2 ES 7 55 7 60 Name few sub-lethal effects of GMOs on behaviour of This is covered by reference to the Chapter ur-Rahman honeybees. section text, we have to try to minimise detail Ansari in the ES.

Mahmood- 2 Intro 11 180 11 190 Rapid urbanization and un-controlled industrialization This is included under land management in ur-Rahman may also be potential drivers in change of pollinators in 2.2.2 Ansari the developing world.

Mahmood- 2 Land use 13 254 13 262 Deforestation is a source of loss of natural habitat for We do not understand what the reviewer's ur-Rahman honeybees. Lower trend of agro-forestory may also be suggestion is here. This comment appear to us Ansari another source. Increase of agricultural land is no doubt as a summary of what we state in this part of due to deforestation which may also cause migration of the chapter. pollinators, thus disturbing the local ecosystem.

Mahmood- 2 Land 21 516 21 517 The authors should differentiate between the local Local is added. ur-Rahman manageme population of pollinators in isolated organic landscape Ansari nt and the visiting pollinators. Mahmood- 2 Land 22 540 22 545 Mixed cropping system may also contribute positively Added. ur-Rahman manageme towards pollination services as well as its financial Ansari nt benefits to farmers especially in developing world.

Mahmood- 2 Land 26 664 27 688 The authors should also study the effect of using compost Thank you for the suggestion, however to ur-Rahman manageme and other organic material and their possible influence keep the content more focused and Ansari nt on pollinator activities. There are some studies available condensed, such studies on other inportant on the subjetc, e.g. Little at al. 2011; Cardoza et al. 2012 ecosystem services may not be included here. & Little and Cardoza 2011; etc.

Mahmood- 2 Land 29 770 29 772 The timing of the grazing is very important. Grazing at Added. ur-Rahman manageme flowering stage may have strong negative effects on Ansari nt pollination process.

Mahmood- 2 Land 31 826 31 833 Burning of left overs in wheat and sugarcane fields after Thank you for the suggestion, but to ur-Rahman manageme harvesting is very common in some Asian countries like incorporate this aspect recommendation on a Ansari nt Pakistan and India and some others. It may has a peer-reviewed paper would be needed to cite. disastrous effect on disturbing natural habitats of many insect species. Moreover, fire may have some negative effects on soil quality and texture, etc.

Mahmood- 2 Land 35 939 37 1010 Rapid urbanization without proper planning is a main We appreciate the point that the reviewer has ur-Rahman manageme problem in developing countries. Moreover, it is made, however this section is about the effect Ansari nt increasing trend of cutting trees in urban areas, reducing of urban land management on pollinators park lands and vegetation. It is causing serious problems rather than the problems for human beings. If to human beings iving in those areas, like sudden increase the referee can recommend a reference that in temperatures, less availability of water and other links urban planning to pollinators we would climatic issues. The authors need to include this aspect in be happy to include it. section 2.2.2.4 Mahmood- 2 GMO 58 1682 59 1707 Bt crops have genes coding for some toxins which are We agree with the reviewer that this is ur-Rahman specific to some insect orders especially lepidoptera. important. Indeed, we are already mentioning Ansari Members of lepidoptera are badly affected by these the points the reviewer mentions in several toxins which may cause ecological disturbance of insect parts of the section. For instance, we mention populations. The insects which are non-target to Bt toxins that IR-crops could potentially lead to changes may increase while the target insect population decrese in communities in and around fields. Also, we significantly. The authors need to discuss the issue. expand on the effect of Bt-toxins on Moreover, Lepidopteran insects are also involved in Lepidoptera pollinators. pollination process which is badly affected if they are killed by Bt proteins. Mahmood- 2 GMO 60 1756 61 1765 Gene escape from transgenic to non-transgenic crop may based on this comment, the sentence has ur-Rahman also lead to have negative effects. On the on hand, It may been now modified. Ansari genetically contaminate the non transgenic crop while on the other hand, it is source of insect ecosystem in the area. Especially in case of cotton, which is often pollinated crop, the ratio of gene escape is very high (please see Ramzan et al. 2014).

Mahmood- 2 Pesticides 63 1845 63 1852 Due to heavy industrialization, gaseous emission is This is discussed in depth in the section ur-Rahman increasing which is a big source of increasing dealing with climate change (section 2.6) Ansari temperature. This increasing temperature is also affetcting insect populations badly. Effects of increasing temperature on pollinators should also be discussed.

Mahmood- 2 Invasives 85 2551 91 2739 Please provide few examples of invasive plants, plant Best addressed by provision of panel of ur-Rahman pathogens, herbivores, predators, pollinators. May be in photos,showing an e.g. of different invasive Ansari the form of a Table. species. Job for graphic artisit to source images and I can advise on species to use to illustrate. Mahmood- 2 Climate 93 2785 93 2792 Please describe what is climate change and its key WE have now included a definitin taken from: ur-Rahman change elements. IPCC, 2013: Annex III: Glossary [Planton, S. Ansari (ed.)]. In: Climate Change 2013: The Physical Science Basis. Contribution of Working Group I to the Fifth Assessment Report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change [Stocker, T.F., D. Qin, G.-K. Plattner, M. Tignor, S.K. Allen, J. Boschung, A. Nauels, Y. Xia, V. Bex and P.M. Midgley (eds.)]. Cambridge University Press, Cambridge, United Kingdom and New York, NY, USA.

Mahmood- 2 Figures Fig. 2.3.5 92 92 There is no need to write the number 28 But we think it is good to know to how many ur-Rahman countries the GMO figures refer to Ansari

Mahmood- 2 Tables Table The Table is confusing. The authors need to create a The table has been now modified and we are ur-Rahman 2.2.2 better correlation between columns. It is hard to confident that the message is clearer now. Ansari understand the relationship of FACTOR and EFFECT.

Márcia 2 General 0 0 0 0 It was an enormous pleasure to read this Chapter! Well Thank you very much - very encouraging Motta done! Excellent contribution! Maués Márcia 2 ES 5 3 5 11 Why is it necessary to repeat (well stablished) & This is part of the four-box model which Motta (stablished but incomplete)? caputes the uncertainty around the evidence Maués contained in this assessmet. This four box model, now finalised, is presented in the Summary for Policy Makers which fronts the assessment. Márcia 2 ES 6 47 6 47 "with only a few studies on bumble bees and stingless Now reads: Most studies on pollinator Motta bees" please add stingles bees, as there are some studies sublethal impacts of insecticides have tested a Maués about the sublethal impacts of inseticides on these bees limited range of pesticides, recently focusing too in Brazil on neonicotinoids, and have been carried out using honeybees and bumblebees, with fewer studies on other insect pollinator taxa. Márcia 2 Land use 13 240 14 288 Maybe you should consider also the patterns in β The proposed references have been now Motta diversity driven by disturbance in the Amazon Forest, as added. Maués shown by SOLAR et al 2013. Partitioning diversity across multiple scales and taxa reveals widespread biotic homogenization and divergence in species composition in human modified tropical forests. In: INTECOL 2013, 2013, Londres. INTECOL 2013 ABSTRACT BOOK. Londres: Wiley and SOLAR 2014 (www.sifloresta.ufv.br/.../Tese_Ricardo- Ribeiro-de-Castro-Solar.pdf?...1...). These publications bring information about diversity across multiple scales and taxa reveals widespread biotic homogenization and divergence in species composition in human modified Tropical forests, including Orchid Bees.

Márcia 2 Land use 15 3215 18 400 Please consider to include the publications from Mauricio done Motta Quesada and colleagues in this topic, e.g. QUESADA et al Maués 2004. Effects of Forest Fragmentation on Pollinator Activity and Consequences for Plant Reproductive Success and Mating Patterns in Bat-pollinated Bombacaceous. BIOTROPICA 36(2):131-138. 2004 (Treeshttp://www.bioone.org/doi/abs/10.1646/Q1571) and BREED et al 2013 Mating patterns and pollinator mobility are critical traits in forest fragmentation genetics . Heredity (2013), 1–7. (https://www.researchgate.net/publication/256425181_ Mating_patterns_and_pollinator_mobility_are_critical_tra its_in_forest_fragmentation_genetics)

Márcia 2 Land 22 527 22 527 Reference is missing References are added. Motta manageme Maués nt Márcia 2 Land 22 528 22 528 Reference is missing Reference is added. Motta manageme Maués nt Márcia 2 Land 24 647 25 662 Reduced Impact Logging in Central Amazon Rainforest Thank you to highlight these studies. Study by Motta manageme change the pollinators species composition of timber Maues et al. is included. Maués nt trees pollinators (MAUÉS, M.M.; OLIVEIRA, P.E.A.M. & KANASHIRO, M. 2007. Reduced impact logging and its effects on the pollination of Amazonian plants. Pp. 50-51. In: Annals of 9th International Pollination Symposium on Plant-Pollinator Relationships - Diversity in Action. Iowa State University, Ames, Iowa.) Please also check: http://repositorio.unb.br/handle/10482/6479; https://www.researchgate.net/publication/235989744_C ONSEQNCIAS_DA_FRAGMENTAO_DO_HABITAT_NA_ECOL OGIA_REPRODUTIVA_DE_ESPCIES_ARBREAS_EM_FLORES TAS_TROPICAIS_COM_NFASE_NA_AMAZNIA

Márcia 2 Land 34 921 34 921 Instead of "ameliorate" is it possible to use "mitigate"? Changed. Motta manageme Maués nt mariadoss 2 ES 6 42 6 46 can we have some sample values Sorry not in the ES, it is a limitation of the Selvanayag style, there are always clear Chapter section am citations to guide the reviewer to the underlying evidence. mariadoss 2 ES 7 67 7 67 I think bids should be birds Text deleted and replaced with other content. Selvanayag am mariadoss 2 Land 20 479 20 482 add polyculture farming or cultivation Done. Selvanayag manageme am nt mariadoss 2 Pesticides 41 1120 41 1124 studies related to neonicotinoid in Canada may be added examples are provided not an exhaustive list Selvanayag am mariadoss 2 Bee 76 2253 76 2258 Apis indica may also be included added Apis indica Selvanayag manageme am nt Marina 2 Land 26 650 26 650 …..and this have severe impacts on plant composition Revised. Rosales manageme ecosystem structure. Benites de nt Franco Marina 2 Land 38 1034 38 1034 Creating a more diverse agricultural landscape with Thank you for the suggestion, but we think Rosales manageme ecological corridors through….. that ecological corridors for many people Benites de nt would mean corridors of natural habitat, Franco which would be confusing here. Therefore we included "promote connectivity " instead.

Marina 2 Land 39 1061 39 1061 Therefore, maintenance ecosystem healthy and optimal Revised. Rosales manageme management at such…..is highly recommended. Benites de nt Franco Marina 2 Pesticides 67 1960 67 1970 …pointing to the need of more studies on this topic and this is a policy decision (Ch 6) not a driver Rosales use precautionary principle on this matter. Benites de Franco Mark JF 2 Diseases 67 1982 67 1982 Citation needed here for claim that DWV can move from added Furst et al. 2014 reference Brown honey bees to bumblebees Mark JF 2 Diseases 69 2038 69 2039 No citation given, and no information on the impact of added sentence on the effects of tracheal Brown Acarapis woodi mites and several references added Mark JF 2 Diseases 70 2057 79 2057 The role of pathogens in driving bumblebee declines is Added. Brown not global, but rather geographically restricted to the Americas Mark JF 2 Diseases 71 2095 71 2095 Meeus et al is a review, Singh et al is a weak study - a Ref added Brown more rigorous study has just been published and should be cited here Mark JF 2 Diseases 71 2100 71 2100 Again, no acknowledgement of the 2nd species of Sentence and reference added, thanks. Brown Crithidia Mark JF 2 Diseases 71 2101 71 2101 Incomplete - no description of impact of this parasite Added Brown Mark JF 2 Diseases 71 2102 71 2101 Again, incomplete - no description of impact Description of impact for C. bombi has just Brown been added before, and for A. bombi, added with the example of south America.

Mark JF 2 Diseases 71 2106 71 2106 Brown et al 2003 is an incorrect reference here as it is Corrected Brown about Crithidia, not fungi. Mark JF 2 Diseases 71 2111 72 2115 There is no evidence that the tracheal mite can reduce Corrected accordingly. Brown colony survival and reproduction. It is associated with lethargy in individual bees, which is the Husband and Sinha reference - no experimental analysis of the impacts of this parasite have been conducted

Mark JF 2 Bee 81 2404 81 2406 Kraus et al did not show introgression, despite the claims We consider however the wording they use in Brown manageme in their paper. They sampled bees in the wild and used a peer-reviewed journal in conservation nt population genetics to assign them to commercial or non- genetics. commercial populations. Given that we know that commercial bees forage away from greenhouses (as previously cited in this report) and that the proportion of bees assigned to commercial populations declines away from greenhouses, what Kraus et al show is that the further you get away from greenhouses the fewer commercial bees you find. Thus, there is, as yet, no good evidence for genetic introgression between commercial and wild bumblebees Mark JF 2 Tables Table In rows for Crithidia bombi and Apicystis bombi, Psithyrus we have now stated explicitly that Psithyrus is Brown 2.4.1 p. 2 is a subgenus of Bombus and so should not be listed and a subgenus referred to as a separate genus Mark JF 2 Tables Table Crithidia expoeki missing in list of pathogens/parasites added; the citation is already in the list: Brown 2.4.1 p. 2 number 17

Martin 2 Pesticides 40 1112 40 1112 chronic' toxicity should be added to sublethal subethal effects are not just following chronic Dermine exposure they can also occur after a single acute exposure, e.g. Henry et al 2012

Martin 2 Pesticides 40 1121 40 1121 Here should also be added "depending on training or Heong et al 2014 Heong et al 2013 added Dermine advisory system of the farmer, depending on cultural use of pesticides. Martin 2 Pesticides 41 1149 41 1149 Sustainable intensification is a terminology produced by Godfray et al 2010 is peer reviewed; disgree Dermine the pesticides industry. We do not consider appropriate with comment on impartiality that a UN document conveys such terminology. Furthermore, the study that is referenced here, Godfray 2010 is a non-peer reviewed publication, written by scientists that openly have conflicts of interests - receiving money from Bayer - and who do not make original publications on the topic they discuss about. Martin 2 Pesticides 43 1210 43 1210 "inappropriate use of pesticides". The word definition added for appropriate use see other Dermine "inappropriate" should be suppressed. This is the kind of comments wording the pesticides industry uses. Scientific studies show that use of pesticides can be linked to negative environmental consequences. No scientific peer-reviewed study mentions that only "inappropriate use of pesticides" leads to bee decline... The two mentioned studies refer to pesticides exposure, not to appropriate or inappropriate use of pesticides! Martin 2 Pesticides 44 1243 44 1243 Concerning fig. 2.3.2, it should appear in the figure that amended to acute hazard Dermine the information provided concerns acute toxicity as little is known on chronic and sublethal toxicities and the "non- toxic" wording is not correct as it concerns only acute toxicity Martin 2 Pesticides 44 1251 44 1251 In this sentence should be added "physico-chemical" amended to clarify that list is not inclusive Dermine properties of the pesticide. Martin 2 Pesticides 45 1255 45 1255 Contaminated water should be added to this paragraph. water added Dermine Martin 2 Pesticides 45 1279 45 1281 This last sentence is incomplete. Apenet research project techical meaures in Apenet differed to those Dermine demonstrated that the "appropriate technical measures" more recently identified but added no single here mentioned did not solve entirely the problem, e.g. measure is likely to provide the solution using deflectors induce a higher dispersal of fine neonicotinoids particles when sawing. So technical measures may induce worst exposure. Martin 2 Pesticides 48 1353 48 1355 Please indicate the percentage of incidents due to misuse amended based on avaialble information Dermine of pesticides as the sentence, as it is written does not permit a reader to realize if it is 5 or 95% of the incidents. Please also indicate what are the other causes.

Martin 2 Pesticides 48 1367 48 1367 The EPPO2010 scheme was strongly criticised in EFSA's the HQ was identified as appropriate by use of Dermine scientific opinion on the science behond the risk the incident data - assessment of pesticides on bees. I would thus not mention this scheme as "validated". Martin 2 Pesticides 49 1408 49 1408 "chronic…EXPOSURE", exposure missing amended Dermine Montserrat 2 Invasives 85 2526 85 2530 The two sentences mean almost the same Thanks, we have merged and revised these Vilà two sentences. Montserrat 2 Invasives 85 2559 85 2561 The sentence is difficult to follow revised sentence structure Vilà Montserrat 2 Invasives 86 2558 the term "the strenght of the interaction" needs to be Defined in revised text Vilà defined Montserrat 2 Invasives 86 2573 Correct the last name throughout the text for: Vilà et al. Done Vilà 2009 Montserrat 2 Invasives 86 2576 Add: Bartomeus I., J. Bosch y M. Vilà. 2008. High invasive Done Vilà pollen transfer, yet low deposition on native stigmas in a Carpobrotus-invaded community. Annals of Botany 102: 417-424. Montserrat 2 Invasives 86 2586 Correct the last names throughout the text for "Montero- Corrected Vilà Castaño and Vilà" Montserrat 2 Invasives 86 2596 87 2597 Several terms defining the characteristics of networks Passed on your suggestion to the Chapter 1 Vilà could be described in Chapter 1 writing team Montserrat 2 Invasives 87 2589 Remove "and function" because function of pollination si Corrected Vilà not described in the section Montserrat 2 Invasives 87 2591 Add, "and plant invaders cause rewiring of the plant- Added some text and this citation Vilà pollinator interactions (Bartomeus I., M. Vilà y L. Santamaría. 2008. Contrasting effects of invasive plants in plant-pollinator networks. Oecologia 155: 761-770. )

Montserrat 2 Invasives 87 2593 Correct the last names throughout the text for "Montero- Done Vilà Castaño and Vilà" Montserrat 2 Climate 104 3133 González-Varo thanks, done Vilà change Montserrat 2 Figures Fig 2.3.2 Remove % in y-axis values Will be done Vilà Montserrat 2 Figures Fig 2.7.1 Red arrows missing Colours were changed to black and white. Vilà Montserrat 2 Tables T2.2.1 negative/positive 3.0:1 corrected; thanks Vilà Montserrat 2 Tables T2.3.1 Meaning for "If systemic specific exposure/impact If it is not in assessment we should rebut it as Vilà assessment"? it is not backed by evidence, just his opinion.

Montserrat 2 Tables T2.4.2 Not clear that a confidence can be low if supported by a confidence term deleted and evidence term Vilà study inserted Montserrat 2 Tables T2.5.1 Vilà corrected; thanks Vilà Montserrat 2 Tables T2.5.1 Add: González-Varo et al. sorry, we did not know where to put it Vilà (comment wasn't specific enough) Montserrat 2 General GENERAL COMMENT: Categories for confidence levels The so-calles 4-box-model will be applied Vilà need to be defined across the assessment and defined for the entire document Neal 2 ES 5 17 5 17 text discusses the idea of undisturbed soil as important This sentence principally deals with Williams but it is not clear that undisturbed is uniformly best. In agricultural monoculture systems, however, dry desert areas and other arid environments soil we have rephrased as: 'such as suitable areas disturbance is important. (e.g. undisturbed) of soil' to cover all cases for different species. Neal 2 ES 6 42 6 54 I find the summary of neonics good and useful; however Neonicotinoids due to their policy and media Williams the singular focus on them here miss directs readers. profile required flagging up. However, in the Other pesticides have in the past and recently been show revision of the sublethal bullet we do try and to have both lethal and sublethal impacts on different broaden out, mentioning 'pesticides including bee species. By omitting the point, I worry that other insecticides' - to capture effects of fungicides, toxins are given a pass. pyrethoids etc these and their lethal and sublethal effects are well covered in the Chapter section ( which is cited here in ES)

Neal 2 Land use 19 452 19 452 This would be a good location to also identify synergies Done. Also see answer to point 236 Williams that increase the quality of pollen transfer (e.g., Brittain et al 2013) Neal 2 Land 21 502 21 511 either at 502 or 511 would be a good location to include Added, thank you. Williams manageme recent paper by Forrest et al 2015 J Applied Ecology nt which compared organic and conventionla and found differences in diversity, but not in functional diversity. Take home here that characterstics of agricultural disturbance may not always be mitigated by organic management, depending on the underlying mechanisms affect pollinator populations. Neal 2 Land 31 819 31 819 word conditioner is jargon to me Explained. Williams manageme nt Neal 2 Land 32 865 32 865 reword here doesn't make sense The sentence was revised. Williams manageme nt Neal 2 Land 33 895 34 933 The whole paragraph that follows seems just to give more The section was restructured, the subsection Williams manageme orchard specific information about what was stated about orchards was mowed after the arable nt earlier in the chapter. I would combine these ideas systems, and treated separately from together (perhaps with things around page 19) greenhouses.

Neal 2 Land 34 907 34 909 Two refs to Brittain et al. 2013 These are the same in the One of the studies is deleted. Williams manageme references BUT they are actually different studies, both nt good and important. Need to fix the reference list.

Neal 2 Land 35 951 35 251 Add Williams Winfree ref 2013 Biological Conservation. We have added this reference. Williams manageme Native wildflower in woodland patches in urban areas nt looks at plant reproduction and pollinator communities Neal 2 Diseases 73 2171 76 2242 This whole section is certainly interesting, but seems to We are glad you like this section. We tried to Williams be too much to stay on message for the chapter. This is a keep it brief, yet as informative as possible, very large chapter and streamlining would help. Nothin because solitary bee managment is a in this section really addresses directly to topic DRIVERS developing industry, with still serious OF CHANGE. The way it is presented it does not speak to knowledge gaps concerning bee health. We existing identified threats to managed bees or wild mentioned the known cases of losses caused bees,rather just a list of pathogens, parasites etc. I by some of these agents. However, the lack of suggest a careful rewrite in just a couple of paragraphs information about losses caused by other focusing on identified threats and the sorts of exploration agents does not exclude their negative impact that are needed to really document diseases parasites, on bees. Therefore -also based on positive etc IMPACTS on these solitary bees. comments received about this section-, that we will keep it with such detail.

Neal 2 Bee 77 2298 best reference for such competition is Diane Thomson Added Williams manageme Ecology paper with Bombus 2004. nt Neal 2 Invasives 88 2634 2643 Remove this section. It is so speculative and reads as This section was suggested by an earlier Williams tangential reviewer. While evidence is lacking there is potential, but we make clear it is speculative ( which is a confidence rating in this assessment), also a function of this assessment is to identify knowledge gaps. So with greatest respect we will leave this in .

Neal 2 Invasives 89 2661 2671 I would use the compelling work of Hanna et al 2013 (J Very good point, we had already picked up Williams Applied Ecology) removal of invasive Vespula allowed for this citation during literature seraches and recovery of pollination- interesting twist was the positive have followed your good suggestion to use role of a second exotic invasive (apis mellifera) This richer this study as an illustrative example. narrative is valuable to illustrate the complexity of interactions with predators, mutualists, and natives in such interactions. Neal 2 Invasives 90 2708 2710 I think to some extent this presentation misrepresents Revised: "Alien honey bee populations have Williams some key points. Apis populations outside their native become readily integrated into pollinator range almost certainly have negative impacts on native communities and direct competition for food species of bees locally to where they are managed in has sometimes altered native wild bee large numbers. This is to be expected through intense behaviour and reproductive success in a resource competition. See work of DianeThomson locale, although these species interactions are Ecology 2004. What is lacking is understanding of the highly dynamic (Dohzono and Yokoyama, degree or extent of the impact. Certainly as worded the 2010; Roubik, 1980; Roubik and Wolda, 2001; paragraph is correct we don't have evidence for Thomson, 2004; Traveset and Richardson, extenctions, etc. 2006). There have been very few reports of invasive alien honey bees through such competition reducing the survival or densities of native wild bees (Kenis et al., 2009; Paini, 2004; Roubik and Wolda, 2001; Yang, 2005) and to date no extinctions recorded (Goulson, 2003; Moritz et al., 2005; Paini, 2004; Traveset and Richardson, 2006). "

Neal 2 Climate 96 2873 This is I think overstated with respect to the Burkle study. Sentence modified into: "There empirical Williams change Mismatch is one possible mechanism- not proven in this evidence suggests that climate change over study however. the last 120 years may have resulted in phenological shifts…" Neal 2 Climate 96 2882 Missing reference to Bartomeus et al- a very import high Bartomeus et al., 2011 included Williams change profile paper based on a huge data set. This paper has stronger case than what is cited Neal 2 Bee 2328 The invasion of terrestris and impacts is also addressed in Thanks for the hint Williams manageme Chapter 3 nt Neal 2 General Somewhere here need to update based on the most I guess thsi refers to the Kerr et al paper? This Williams recent paper in Science reportingon range shifts in is now inlcuded in the chapter in several Bombus. instances Nicolas 2 Pesticides 62 1822 62 (Simenel et al. 2015). or Roué et al. 2015 (for a English Simenel et al 2015 added Cesard version). Simenel R. et al. 2015. La domestication de l'abeille par le territoire : un exemple d'apiculture holiste dans le sud marocain. Techniques et Culture 63, 258-279. Roué, M., Battesti, V., Césard, N. and Simenel, R. 2015. Ethnoecology of pollination and pollinators, Revue d’ethnoécologie 7 (http://ethnoecologie.revues.org/2229)

Nicolas 2 Diseases 69 2045 69 2046 Vespa velutina has recently spread to Europe from China changed to Asia Cesard (not from SE Asia), still according to Villemant. Or write East Asia. Nicolas 2 Bee 77 2288 77 2288 Garnery 2015, but the paper doesn't appear in the added reference Cesard manageme references nt Nicolas 2 References 155 5407 155 5408 Simenel R. et al. 2015. La domestication de l'abeille par le Updated, thanks Cesard territoire : un exemple d'apiculture holiste dans le sud marocain. Techniques et Culture 63, 258-279.

Paul Egan 2 Pesticides 51 1451 51 1451 Kessler et al. 2015 paper in Nature is another example of Reference added. a behavioural sub-lethal effect of pesticides

Paul Egan 2 Pesticides 63 1854 63 1854 This section would gain from a single sentence which lists Done, thank you for the suggestions. the 'means' by which pollinators are exposed. This information is spread througout the passage, and one important means (hyperaccumulation of pollutants by plants which are subsequently transported to floral rewards), is overlooked.

Peter 2 Pesticides 41 1150 41 1152 indeed a recent publication reported that Azadirachtin an reference added Campbell organic approved insecticide showed high toxicity to bumble bees (Barbosa et al. 2015; Lethal and sublethal effects of azadirachtin on the bumble bee Bombus terrestris) Peter 2 Pesticides 55 1587 55 1589 This statement that neonics have been associated with revised text Campbell long-term colony losses in EU and US needs to be balanced with some much more recent published evidence to the contrary, eg Cutler et al, 2014 (Clothianidin treated Canola in Canada)and Rundlof et al 2015 (Clothianidin treated Oil Seed Rape in Sweden) which are large scale honeybee monitoring field studies which both reported no effects of a neonic on honeybee colonies and also the most recent EC sponsored EPILOBEE and COLOSS Honeybee monitoring reports, which both report the lowest over-wintering colony losses in Europe prior to the neonic restrictions. Peter 2 Pesticides 56 1616 56 1616 Add the following reference (Staveley et al 2013: Hum added Campbell Ecol Risk Assess. Feb 2014; 20(2): 566–591) next to Cresswell et all 2013 reference , to support Hills Epidemiology analysis evidence quoted in this sentence

Peter 2 Pesticides 56 1629 56 1631 It should be stated here that most if not all the evidence amended Campbell for sub-lethal effects on foragers comes from either laboratory studies or forced dosing/feeding studies which are not representative of exposure under field use conditions of these products (Godfray et al 2014).

Peter 2 Pesticides 66 1940 66 1942 It needs to be stated after "good evidence" (line 1940) wording amended Campbell "from laboratory studies or forced dosing/field studies" since there is very little or no evidence from studies carried out under realistic field conditions.

Peter 2 Diseases 68 2014 68 2015 The impact of varroa (and virus) is rather under-stated Several comments wanted more detail on Campbell here there are many papers (Dainan et al, 2012; Martin effects of Varroa; added extra text and et.al, 2012; Guzman-Nova, et al, 2010; Szabo et al 2012 references on Varroa to the end of section (bumble bees); Charriere & Neumann, 2010; Nazzi et al, 2.4.1.1.4 Parastitic mites. 2012; Genersch, 2010; Rosenkranz et al, 2010; van Enngelsdorp et al, 2012; Neumann & Carreck, 2010; Godfrey 2t al , 2014) which all conclude that combination of Varroa + virus is probably one the most major threats facing honeybees. Peter 2 Climate 96 2888 98 2934 Need to include a new paper (Kerr et al 2015; Climate done, see comment 860 and also number 901 Campbell change change impacts on bumblebees converge across continents) recently published in Science which investigates climate change effects on bumble bee populations in US and Europe and concludes effects at the ranges on many species. Peter 2 Multiple 106 3189 107 3218 Need again to refer to Kerr et al 2015 (see above Strictly speaking this study was not a meta- Campbell effects commens) since this study is one of the few large scale analysis, but an original data analysis pooling meta-analysis studies conducted which looked at multiple regional datasets. We do now include this factors (as described in this section) in bumble bee recent citation in the revision of the text as an population ranges over a long timescale in Europe and US example of one of relatively few studies that was recently published in Science (Kerr et al 2015; attempt to quantify the relative impact of Climate change impacts on bumblebees converge across climate versus land-use. Kerr at el produce continents) and actually concluded no interaction good evidence for range contraction due to between Climate Change and Land-use,Total pesticides climate changes, information mostly lacking and Neonicotinoid. So certainly the potential is thre for for bumblebees and it is also cited in the interaction as you point out but may be you need to climate change section of this assessment. separate the "potential" discussion from the "evidence The data used to attribute changes in bee based" facts eg Kerr et al 2015 paper and other papers range limits to neonicotinoids and land-use where relevent. change are at a coarse scale (land use change measurements were available through time from 1900 to 2005 across both Europe and North America at 5’(~10km);annual area of pesticide/imidacloprid application per administrative county 1992-2009). This was doubtless a reflection of the characteristics of the available data and the authors had little option here. However, in our assessment of this paper we consider that it is perhaps unsurprising that there was no detectable effect of pesticides (or to an extent land-use) on range limits. Detection of changes in range limits in response to these management factors would have to be profound (i.e. consistent extinctions) for it to be detected in this large-scale analysis. If land-use change and pesticide use have an impact it is likely Peter 2 Multiple 107 3231 109 3282 Again need to refer to Kerr et al 2015 see above Please see our earlier response to this Campbell effects comments. comment. The Kerr study has, however, been cited in this section where appropriate i.e sentences dealing with shifts in ranges: "recent evidence of climate change impacts on bumblebees suggests there are adaptive limits to the capacity of this pollinator group to track climate change (Kerr et al., 2015; Schweiger et al., 2010)." Peter 2 Multiple 109 3284 110 3336 Should quote a very recent published review paper on Some the points made by this reviewer (e.g. Campbell effects interaction between pesticides and pathogens by Collison Lack of field study, ecological relevance were et al 2015 ("Interactive effects of pesticide exposure and already made in the original version or have pathogen infection on bee health – a critical analysis" in now been ammended slightly. Where relevant Biological Reviews). This is a key review paper which this review has now been cited in support of concludes that to date most of the studies which report such points. interactions between pesticides and pathogens to date, and which you list in this section, are conducted in laboratory conditions and therefore show potential mechanisms for interactions. However, it concludes that more field studies are required to better understand the ecological relevence. This review also points out that there is a lot of variability reported in such pathogen infection/pesticide interaction studies such as those reported in this section which could be down to either a lack of standised methodology or to exposure route. Need standardised to elucidate a clearer picture. Peter 2 Multiple 110 3331 110 3332 This statement that there is emerging evidence that Indeed the terminal statement of this section Campbell effects interaction between chemicals and pathogens present a was this very point. We have added the real threat to pollinators is overstating the evidence, suggested review here and elsewhere to this particularly in light of the recent Collison et al 2015 text, where pertinent, and more clearly stated review paper (see above comment), which specifically the research needs. We already say that this concludes that more research is really needed to better issue "may represent a threat" and as such it understand the variability & ecological relevence of many is equivocal. of the studies already carried out, particularly under field conditons. This need for further research should be main conclusion of this section. Pradeep 2 Land use 20 458 20 458 2-5% for ? Either the crop name should be mentioned or These are meta-analyses and syntheses, Mehta just the reference should come meaning that these values are overall values. It is for this reason that we provide the reference right after the value. This way, the interested reader can acces the detailed information in case of need.

Pradeep 2 Land 23 566 23 566 its written between con Is it misspelt or does it mean Refers to conspecific flowers. Revised. Mehta manageme something? nt Pradeep 2 Land 23 582 23 583 Should be For example rape oilseed not oilseed rape Changed to canola. Mehta manageme nt Pradeep 2 Land 26 666 26 666 Fertilizer use has increased from the 1960's is mentioned Figure is added. Mehta manageme it should be fertilizer use has increased since 1960's and a nt percentage or quantity per hactare should be mentioned otherwise it looks vague without any figure.

Pradeep 2 Land 26 679 26 679 species among years should be species for years Done. Mehta manageme nt Pradeep 2 Land 31 821 31 821 Athough though there…… it should be Although there ….. Done. Mehta manageme nt Pradeep 2 Pesticides 46 1299 46 1300 Some references should be cited. lack of data identified therefore reference not Mehta relevant Pradeep 2 Pesticides 63 1856 63 1857 The statement should be supported by reference/s done Mehta Pradeep 2 Diseases 69 2033 69 2033 Reference/s should be cited added citation Mehta Pradeep 2 Diseases 72 2117 72 2120 Site location (country)where it has been reported from Sentence modified Mehta and reference should be cited. Pradeep 2 Invasives 89 2666 89 2666 A. mellifera should be in italics This must have been changed during Mehta formatting of whole document, fine in my original text and double checked revised text. Formatting will be checked again before print.

Pradeep 2 Invasives 89 2671 89 2771 Vespa valutina should be in italics This must have been changed during Mehta formatting of whole document, fine in my original text and double checked revised text. Formatting will be checked again before print.

Richard 2 Land use 12 Fig. 2.2.1 12 234 Whilst this illustration makes the points about the The goal of this figure was to communicate a Comont/Mi (line 234) importance of pollinators, the implication from the concept, and thus butterflies and bees had chael Usher diagram is that butterflies are the most important (4 been used as representatives of different butterflies against 2 bees). The illustration should be re- pollinator groups. Because of the conceptual drawn, making it clear that honey and other bees are the nature of the figure, we had decided to use most important pollinators. bees and butterflies as a graphic representation of the ecological category "pollinators". To avoid leading to the type of literal interpretation of the figure that is presented in this comment, we now mention explicitly the conceptual (vs. strict) use of the graphics in this figure.

Richard 2 Pesticides 50 1420 & 50 1420 this illustration is useful in demonstrating the numbers of There were no incidents involving Comont/Mi Fig 2.3.4 incidents in relation to the insecticides being used. neonicotinoids between 1985 and 2007 so chael Usher However, given the concerns during the last 4 or 5 years these cannot be added to the figure. about the effects of neonicotinoids, it would be valuable to add these as a third group to be highlighted in the illustration. Richard 2 Invasives 85 Section 93 2781 for an international review of this nature it would be less Thanks for this comment and link. Another Comont/Mi 2.5 (2525) confusing for readers if the definitions established in the reviewer made a similar request. Accordingly chael Usher Convention on Biological Diversity for ‘alien’ and ‘invasive we use the IUCN definition Guidelines for the alien’ were to be used Prevention of Biodiversity Loss Caused by (https://www.cbd.int/invasive/terms.shtml ). The terms Alien Invasive Species (2000). Approved by the ‘alien’, ‘invasive alien’, and ‘native’ should be included in IUCN Council which jointly underpins the CBD the glossary (noting that the latter two are defined in definitions. So a new paragraph has been relation to pollinators). inserted into the introduction to this section: ‘Alien species’ are defined as (non-native, non- indigenous, foreign, exotic) species, subspecies, or lower taxon occurring outside of its natural range (past or present) and dispersal potential (i.e. outside the range it occupies naturally or could not occupy without direct or indirect introduction or care by humans) and includes any part, gametes or propagule of such species that might survive and subsequently reproduce (IUCN, 2000). ‘Alien invasive species’ are alien species which become established in natural or semi-natural ecosystems or habitat, and are an agent of change, threatening native biological diversity (IUCN, 2000). Further these definitions will be listed in the assessment glossary as you suggest.

Richard 2 Land use 17 377 17 377 What is 'overall species abundance'? Species richness? the expression has been now changed to Corlett Abundance of all species together? "species richness" Richard 2 Land use 17 381 17 381 What does 'generalists can rewire better' mean? see response to comment 194 Corlett Richard 2 Pesticides 49 1408 49 1408 What does 'chronic certain insecticides' mean? A typo? amended Corlett Rodolfo 2 Land use 12 216 12 224 An estimated 2101 km2 of tropical forest are destroyed the reference has been now added. Jaffe Ribbi every year (Hansen et al. 2013), and the rate of land conversion to agriculture is expected to further increase in response to a growing human population, with major potential negative impacts for native pollinators. Hansen MC et al. (2013) High-Resolution Global Maps of 21st- Century Forest Cover Change Science 342:850-853 doi:10.1126/science.1244693 Rodolfo 2 Land use 13 248 13 250 Habitat degradation not only affects pollinator This already appears in the section (at the end Jaffe Ribbi communities but also pollinator populations. I believe it is of section 2.2.1.2). For that reason, we have essential to highlight this here, stating something like: now made a short mention to this and refer “Habitat loss can also reduce pollinator populations, thus to the reader to that section. making them more prone to loosing genetic variability and experiencing the negative effects related to inbreeding (Allendorf et al. 2012).” Allendorf FW, Luikart GH, Aitken SN (2012) Conservation and the genetics of populations. Wiley. com, Rodolfo 2 Land use 18 394 18 400 You should mention that only a few studies have utilized Following this comment, we have now Jaffe Ribbi landscape genetic approaches to quantify land use modified the paragraph to also include the impacts on wild bee gene flow within temperate regions idea of Allee effect and mention the (Davis et al. 2010; Jha and Kremen 2013b), and no such knowledge gap on the topic, citing the efforts have been undertaken in the tropics yet. Likewise, references proposed by the reviewer. I believe the term 'evolutionary implications' is misleading However, we disagree with the fact that because reductions in population size caused by habitat evolution implies only long term processes loss can result in inbreeding depression and a higher and that adaptation is one of those. Indeed, extinction risk in the short term. I do not argue that the latter has been shown to occur very genetic diversity is needed for adaptation to take place, quickly if selection pressure is high enough. but I don't believe long-term adaptation to land use For this reason, we have decided to not change is the main focus here. Instead I suggest focusing exclude the mention to "evolutionary on Allee Effects, or the fitness reduction associated to implications". smaller population sizes. Davis ES, Murray TE, Fitzpatrick Ú, Brown MJF, Paxton RJ (2010) Landscape effects on extremely fragmented populations of a rare solitary bee, Colletes floralis Mol Ecol 19:4922-4935; Jha S, Kremen C (2013b) Urban land use limits regional bumble bee gene flow Mol Ecol 22:2483–2495

Rodolfo 2 Land 36 977 36 978 Urbanization and human land use can also hinder gene We have added a sentence about Jha & Jaffe Ribbi manageme flow in bumble bees (Jha and Kremen, 2013; Jha, 2015). Kremen 2013. nt Jha, S. & Kremen, C. Urban land use limits regional bumble bee gene flow. Mol. Ecol. 22, 2483–2495 (2013); Jha, S. Contemporary human-altered landscapes and oceanic barriers reduce bumble bee gene flow. Mol. Ecol. 24, 993–1006 (2015).

Rodolfo 2 Pesticides 43 1219 43 1219 “. .” deleted . Jaffe Ribbi Rodolfo 2 Pesticides 44 1233 44 1243 Would it be possible to summarize available data on see table 2.2.2 and figure on sublethal effects; Jaffe Ribbi pesticides and their effect on pollinators? Something like additional figure added on NNI insecticide Table 2.2.2 sublethal effects Rodolfo 2 Pesticides 45 1283 45 1283 Fig. 2.3.3 is not clear. I do not follow the main routes of not highlighted by other reviewers and figure Jaffe Ribbi exposure. is directly from EFSA Rodolfo 2 Pesticides 67 1960 67 1970 The order of the conclusions should reflect the order of amended Jaffe Ribbi the arguments in the main text, so GMOs should go before pollutants. Rodolfo 2 Diseases 67 1981 67 1982 Include this citation: Furst, M. A., McMahon, D. P., Reference added Furst et al. 2014 Jaffe Ribbi Osborne, J. L., Paxton, R. J. & Brown, M. J. F. Disease associations between honeybees and bumblebees as a threat to wild pollinators. Nature 506, 364–366 (2014).

Rodolfo 2 Diseases 68 1991 68 1991 Two important stingless bee pests are missing from this added phorid and Mantis flies to Table 2.4.1 Jaffe Ribbi Table: 1) Phorid flies (Diptera, Phoridae) constitute one of the most devastating pests of stingless bee colonies (Nogueira-Neto, P. 1997. Vida e Criação de Abelhas Indígenas Sem Ferrão). Attracted by the odors emitted by stored pollen, the flies enter colonies and lay hundreds of eggs. These later become voracious larvae that deplete the colony´s food stores, causing a considerable damage and often the total collapse of the colony. 2) Recent work described a parasitic mantisfly infesting colonies of the stingless bee Melipona subnitida (Maia-Silva, C., Hrncir, M., Koedam, D., Machado, R. & Imperatriz- Fonseca, V. 2012. Out with the garbage: the parasitic strategy of the mantisfly Plega hagenella mass-infesting colonies of the eusocial bee Melipona subnitida in northeastern Brazil. Naturwissenschaften 1–5)

Rodolfo 2 Diseases 72 2123 72 2123 Replace the term 'meliponiculture' with 'stingless bees', corrected, explanantion added Jaffe Ribbi since the term has not been defined previously. Rodolfo 2 Diseases 72 2123 72 2128 In this paragraph you should also cite: 1) Nogueira-Neto Thank you for your suggestion, we have Jaffe Ribbi P. Vida e Criação de Abelhas Indígenas Sem Ferrão. São added Noguire-Neto, 1997, but Villanueva- Paulo: Editora Nogueirapis; 1997. 445 p.; 2) Roubik DW. Gutiérrez R et al. 2013, does not describe bee Ecology and natural history of tropical bees: Cambridge diseases, just losses due to managment - that University Press; 1992; and 3) Villanueva-Gutiérrez R, is a differnt section of our assessment and Roubik DW, Colli-Ucán W, Güemez-Ricalde FJ, Buchmann would fit better there instead of here. SL. A Critical View of Colony Losses in Managed Mayan Honey-Making Bees (Apidae: Meliponini) in the Heart of Zona Maya. J Kans Entomol Soc. 2013; 86(4):352–62.

Rodolfo 2 Diseases 72 2136 72 2136 I don't think there is enough evidence to support a corrected Jaffe Ribbi statement such as 'Stingless bees seems to be a poor host for honey bee viruses' Rodolfo 2 Diseases 72 2141 73 2150 The information is repetitive and inaccurate, please corrected Jaffe Ribbi revise. Phorid flies (Diptera, Phoridae) should be highlighted here as the most devastating pests of stingless bee colonies (Nogueira-Neto, P. 1997. Vida e Criação de Abelhas Indígenas Sem Ferrão). Attracted by the odors emitted by stored pollen, the flies enter colonies and lay hundreds of eggs. These later become voracious larvae that deplete the colony´s food stores, causing a considerable damage and often the total collapse of the colony. Also, as I mentioned above, recent work described a parasitic mantisfly infesting colonies of the stingless bee Melipona subnitida (Maia-Silva, C., Hrncir, M., Koedam, D., Machado, R. & Imperatriz- Fonseca, V. 2012. Out with the garbage: the parasitic strategy of the mantisfly Plega hagenella mass-infesting colonies of the eusocial bee Melipona subnitida in northeastern Brazil. Naturwissenschaften 1–5)

Rodolfo 2 Diseases 73 2147 73 2147 This is incorrect, as ants are not generally considered the corrected Jaffe Ribbi most important pests of stingless bees (see comment above). Rodolfo 2 Diseases 73 2152 73 2169 This section is out of place here, as defense mechanisms done Jaffe Ribbi of honeybees, bumblebees, or solitary bees are not discussed. This is biological knowledge, not a review of the known parasites and pathogens of pollinators. I suggest deleting this paragraph.

Rodolfo 2 Bee 76 2246 76 2246 Rephrase 'new areas of the world' by 'the introduction of made reccomended change Jaffe Ribbi manageme different bee species to areas where they are not native'. nt Rodolfo 2 Bee 76 2246 76 2248 This section should be focused on honeybee Added text to the first paragraph to capture Jaffe Ribbi manageme management as a driver of change, not on migratory the role beekeeepers and bees can play as a nt beekeeping exclusively. The introducing sentences should conservation tool ….line 2249. thus address a bit of the history of beekeeping, and that the main commercialized products are honey and pollination services, in addition to pollen, wax, propolis, royal jelly, queens, and beekeeping equipment. Then, you could summarize the consequences of beekeeping for wild honeybee populations (conservation, competition, spread of diseases, hybridization) as well as native bee populations (spread of diseases, competition). I believe it is extremely important to stress out that in spite of the negative impacts of beekeeping (such as those discussed below), beekeeping should be regarded as a conservation tool, particularly when practiced with local honeybees. For instance, Jaffé et al. (2010) showed that honeybee populations in Europe are mainly composed of managed bees, since most wild bees have disappeared: Jaffé R, Dietemann V, Allsopp MH, et al (2010) Estimating the density of honeybee colonies across their natural range to fill the gap in pollinator decline censuses. Conserv Biol 24:583–593.

Rodolfo 2 Bee 76 2259 76 2261 This paragraph is out of place here and should be moved left in this text as a clear example of how Jaffe Ribbi manageme to the section on viral diseases of honeybees. movable frames can be seen as a benefit and nt without the movable frames the bees can suffer brood diseases which go unchecked. Rodolfo 2 Bee 77 2289 77 2289 You should also mention that the introduction of added refernce to the work of De la Rua et al. Jaffe Ribbi manageme honeybees subspecies to areas where they are not native 2009 nt can result in introgressive hybridization and the loss of valuable local adaptations (reviewed by De la Rúa et al. 2009): De la Rúa, P., Jaffé, R., Dall’Olio, R., Muñoz, I. & Serrano, J. Biodiversity, conservation and current threats to European honeybees. Apidologie 40, 263–284 (2009).

Rodolfo 2 Bee 77 2295 77 2295 This problem is described in detail by Quezada-Euán et al. added Quezada-Euan 2001 Jaffe Ribbi manageme 2001. Please cite: Quezada-Euán, J. J. G., May-Itza, W. D. nt & González-Acereto, J. A. Meliponiculture in México: problems and perspective for development. Bee World 82, 160–167 (2001).

Rodolfo 2 Bee 77 2298 77 2298 Also cite: Paini, D. R. Impact of the introduced honey bee added Paini 2004 Jaffe Ribbi manageme (Apis mellifera) (Hymenoptera : Apidae) on native bees: A nt review. Austral Ecol. 29, 399–407 (2004).

Rodolfo 2 Bee 78 2303 78 2313 This paragraph repeats some of the arguments explained see addition of Aizen and Harder 2009 in first Jaffe Ribbi manageme above in more detail, in the sections dealing with habitat paragraph nt loss and fragmentation. I think one aspect that should be highlighted here, is that the the global demand for pollination is growing faster than the stock of managed honeybees (Aizen & Harder, 2009): 21. Aizen MA, Harder LD. The Global Stock of Domesticated Honey Bees Is Growing Slower Than Agricul- tural Demand for Pollination. Curr Biol. 2009; 19(11):915–8. Rodolfo 2 Bee 81 2418 81 2418 You should include here two relevant and recent Thank you, added Jaffe Ribbi manageme references: 1) Giannini T, Boff S, Cordeiro G, Cartolano Jr nt E, Veiga A, Imperatriz-Fonseca V, et al. Crop pollinators in Brazil: a review of reported interactions. Apidologie. 2014;online first:1–15; 2) Jaffé, R. et al. Bees for Development: Brazilian Survey Reveals How to Optimize Stingless Beekeeping. PLoS One 10, e0121157 (2015). Rodolfo 2 Bee 81 2418 81 2419 There is actually little evidence that stingless bees are corrected acording to suggestion Jaffe Ribbi manageme being introduced outside their natural range, and nt certainly none of these references shows this (for an example see: Carvalho-Zilse GA, Costa-Pinto MFF, Nunes- Silva CG, Kerr WE (2009) Does beekeeping reduce genetic variability in Melipona scutellaris (Apidae, Meliponini)? Genet Mol Res 8:758–765. doi: 10.4238/vol8-2keer006). I suggest rephrasing this to: 'Stingless bees are an important asset to fulfill the growing agricultural demand for pollination, because they could compensate for...' Rodolfo 2 Bee 81 2420 81 2420 Correct the citation of Jaffé et al. 2010. corrected Jaffe Ribbi manageme nt Rodolfo 2 Bee 81 2421 81 2422 These phrase is out of place here: 'In Japan, a number of corrected Jaffe Ribbi manageme species were tested for greenhouse pollination (Amano nt 2004).' This is the introduction to stingless bee management, not a review of greenhouse pollination by stingless bees (there are examples of this from Brazil and Australia as well). Instead, I suggest replacing it by: 'Across developing countries, stingless beekeeping (also known as meliponiculture), remains essentially informal, technical knowledge is scarce, and management practices lack standardization. Commercialized bee products, including honey, colonies, and in a few cases crop pollination services, are generally unregulated, and demand often exceeds supply. Meliponiculture thus remains a largely under-exploited business (Jaffé et al. 2015).' Rodolfo 2 Bee 81 2424 82 2430 Meliponiculture has not gained attention in developing this paragraph was deleted as some of the Jaffe Ribbi manageme countries, it was developed in developing tropical information was doubling after correcting the nt countries, where stingless bees are native. Also, section according to the reviewrs suggestion increasing attention in stingless beekeeping has little to do with improving poor households in developing countries: Many wealthy people have become interested in stingless bees, as well as research institutions and development officers. Please reword as this sentence reflects a profound lack of knowledge. I suggest highlighting the potential of stingless beekeeping as a sustainable develoment tool. Rodolfo 2 Bee 81 2430 82 2430 The updated reference for this is: Giannini T, Boff S, added Jaffe Ribbi manageme Cordeiro G, Cartolano Jr E, Veiga A, Imperatriz-Fonseca V, nt et al. Crop pollinators in Brazil: a review of reported interactions. Apidologie. 2014;online first:1–15.

Rodolfo 2 Bee 82 2431 82 2431 You should not speak about 'Africa' in general. Mention corrected Jaffe Ribbi manageme that in most African countries... nt Rodolfo 2 Bee 82 2441 82 2441 This is incorrect. In Central and South America the main corrected Jaffe Ribbi manageme exploited stingless bee products are honey and colonies. nt Honey, propolis and wax are often used for medicinal and ritual purposes. Rodolfo 2 Bee 82 2444 82 2444 Also cite: Jaffé, R. et al. Bees for Development: Brazilian done Jaffe Ribbi manageme Survey Reveals How to Optimize Stingless Beekeeping. nt PLoS One 10, e0121157 (2015). Rodolfo 2 Bee 82 2446 82 2447 You should give proper credit to Mexican researchers, added Jaffe Ribbi manageme citing the relevant works: 1) Quezada-Euán J, May-Itza W, nt González-Acereto J. Meliponiculture in México: problems and perspec- tive for development. Bee World. 2001; 82(4):160–7; 2) González-Acereto J, Quezada-Euán J, Medina-Medina L. New perspectives for stingless beekeeping in the Yucatan: results of an integral program to rescue and promote the activity. J Apic Res. 2006; 45 (4):234–9. 32. Rodolfo 2 Bee 82 2452 82 2452 I don't think citing a website is a good idea here. There sentence deleted Jaffe Ribbi manageme are many published examples of studies addressing the nt potential of beekeeping as a development tool. I believe this chapter should be based primarily on such 'hard' evidence (in fact this is the case in all preceding sections).

Rodolfo 2 Bee 82 2457 82 2458 This is incorrect, Nannotrigona testaceicornis is only spcies name was mistake, corrected Jaffe Ribbi manageme distributed in Brazil. nt Rodolfo 2 Bee 83 2463 83 2464 This sentence is unnecessary here. It is speculative, as deleted Jaffe Ribbi manageme environmental risks posed by stingless bee management nt have, to my knowledge, never been addressed. Also it is misleading as most stingless beekeepers employ native bees. Please delete.

Rodolfo 2 Bee 83 2470 83 2476 These sentences are not accurate, do not follow the corrected Jaffe Ribbi manageme previous line of argumentation, and do not constitute a nt closing sentence for the section. I suggest deleting and replacing them with the text of next comment, which provides a comprehensive review of previous works aiming at optimizing stingless beekeeping. Rodolfo 2 Bee 83 2470 83 2476 Important efforts have been directed to train beekeepers corrected, minor changes done to the Jaffe Ribbi manageme and standardize management practices [Nogueira-Neto P proposed text nt (1997) Vida e Criação de Abelhas Indígenas Sem Ferrão. São Paulo: Editora Nogueirapis. 445 p.; Villas-Bôas JK (2012) Manual Tecnológico Mel de Abelhas sem Ferrão. Brasilia: Instituto Sociedade, População e Natureza], quantify investment costs and profit perspectives [Lobato T, Venturieri GC (2010) Aspectos econômicos da criação de abelhas indígenas sem ferrão (Apidae: Meliponini) no nordeste paraense. In: Oriental EA, editor. Belém: EMBRAPA Amazônia Oriental], assess honey properties, quality and commercialization routes [Vit P, Pedro SR, Roubik D (2013) Pot-honey: a legacy of stingless bees: Springer.], rear queens artificially [Menezes C, Vollet- Neto A, Fonseca V (2013) An advance in the in vitro rearing of stingless bee queens. Apidologie 44: 491-500.], and diagnose the overall situation of the sector in different regions [Halcroft M, Spooner-Hart R, Haigh A, Heard T, Dollin A (2013) The Australian stingless bee industry: a follow-up survey, one decade on. Journal of Apicultural Research 52: 1-7.; González-Acereto J, Quezada-Euán J, Medina-Medina L (2006) New perspectives for stingless beekeeping in the Yucatan: results of an integral program to rescue and promote the activity. Journal of apicultural research 45: 234-239]. More recently, quantitative efforts have been directed to the optimization of stingless beekeeping. Relying on Brazil-wide surveys, [Jaffé R, Pope N, Carvalho AT, Maia UM, Blochtein B, et al. (2015) Bees for Development: Brazilian Survey Reveals How to Optimize Stingless Beekeeping. PLoS ONE 10: e0121157] assessed the Rodolfo 2 Bee 83 2476 83 2477 I suggest to close this section with the following added with minor changes Jaffe Ribbi manageme paragraph: 'Stingless beekeeping should be regarded as a nt prime tool to achieve sustainable development. Keeping bees can help low-income communities earn additional revenues from selling bee products, thus reducing the need to exploit other natural resources and creating incentives to protect natural habitats as food sources and nesting sites for the bees. Moreover, beekeeping contributes to the provision of pollination services, assuring crop yields and helping maintain plant biodiversity in natural ecosystems. Stingless beekeeping could thus help protect the bees, safeguard their pollination services, and contribute with the development of many rural communities. However, more efforts are needed to optimize this activity, turn it more attractive to new entrepreneurs, and increase its value as a tool for sustainable development.'

Rodolfo 2 Bee 84 2520 84 2524 This sentences are completely speculative and changed Jaffe Ribbi manageme misleading. First, stingless bees have been managed for a nt very long time (dating back to the Mayas of Central America). Second, to my knowledge (and that of the authors as well), there are no studies showing negative environmental impacts of managed solitary or stingless bees. Finally, as mentioned above, we should actually promote management of native local bees, as a mean to preserve them and safeguard their pollination services. Finishing this paragraph with a caution against management thus seems counter-productive. Rodolfo 2 Invasives 85 2547 85 2550 This review is missing in Table 2.5.1: Paini DR (2004) The review was picked up during the original Jaffe Ribbi Impact of the introduced honey bee (Apis mellifera) literature search and is now referenced (Hymenoptera : Apidae) on native bees: A review. Austral "There have been very few reports of invasive Ecol 29:399–407. alien honey bees through such competition reducing the survival or densities of native wild bees (Kenis et al., 2009; Paini, 2004; Roubik and Wolda, 2001; Yang, 2005) and to date no extinctions recorded (Goulson, 2003; Moritz et al., 2005; Paini, 2004; Traveset and Richardson, 2006)." at a couple of appropriate points in the text and included in the Table.

Rodolfo 2 Invasives 90 2707 90 2708 This is a key reference that should be included here: Revised: "Alien honey bee populations have Jaffe Ribbi Roubik DW, Wolda H (2001) Do competing honey bees become readily integrated into pollinator matter? Dynamics and abundance of native bees before communities and direct competition for food and after honey bee invasion. Popul. Ecol. 43:53–62. has sometimes altered native wild bee behaviour and reproductive success in a locale, although these species interactions are highly dynamic (Dohzono and Yokoyama, 2010; Roubik, 1980; Roubik and Wolda, 2001; Thomson, 2004; Traveset and Richardson, 2006). There have been very few reports of invasive alien honey bees through such competition reducing the survival or densities of native wild bees (Kenis et al., 2009; Paini, 2004; Roubik and Wolda, 2001; Yang, 2005) and to date no extinctions recorded (Goulson, 2003; Moritz et al., 2005; Paini, 2004; Traveset and Richardson, 2006). "

Rodolfo 2 Climate 97 2905 97 2909 This sentence should be introducing the section on Thanks, moved to the front Jaffe Ribbi change climate change, not here. Rodolfo 2 Multiple 107 3226 107 3229 Include this reference in Table 2.7.1, as an example of Added to Table - thanks Jaffe Ribbi effects another study assessing the joint effects of climate change and land use: Giannini TC, Tambosi LR, Acosta AL, Jaffé R, Saraiva AM, Imperatriz-Fonseca VL MJ (2015) Safeguarding ecosystem services: A methodological framework to buffer the joint effect of habitat configuration and climate change. PLoS One 10:e0129225.

Rodolfo 2 Multiple 108 3272 108 3273 I suggest including this additional paragraph here: We have not included this precise paragraph Jaffe Ribbi effects Giannini et al (2015) recently proposed a new as suggested by the reviewer, but we methodological framework to assess the joint effects of welcomed the suggestion of this reference land use and climate change on the provision of from Brazil and have accordingly included its pollination services. Based on the current distribution of citation at several appropriate places in the the tropical stingless bee Melipona quadrifasciata, and revised text. Thank you. that of the plant species used by the bees to feed and nest, they projected the joint distribution of bees and plants in the future, considering a moderate climate change scenario (following IPPC). They then relied on graph theory, the bee´s flight range, and the current mapping of Atlantic Forest remnants, to infer habitat suitability and quantify local and regional habitat connectivity for 2030, 2050 and 2080. Current and future connectivity maps revealed the most important corridors, which if protected or restored, could facilitate the dispersal and establishment of bees during distribution shifts. Giannini TC, Tambosi LR, Acosta AL, Jaffé R, Saraiva AM, Imperatriz-Fonseca VL MJ (2015) Safeguarding ecosystem services: A methodological framework to buffer the joint effect of habitat configuration and climate change. PLoS One 10:e0129225. Rodolfo 2 Multiple 112 3376 113 3409 I believe this section is out of place here, and certainly This section is needed, according to the the Jaffe Ribbi effects not a good concluding one. The impact of habitat IPBES conceptual framework and scope for degradation due to human population growth has Chapter 2, because it is important to set out already been stressed out in detail in the preceding how the direct drivers are themselves sections. Likewise, pesticide regulation has also been ultimately driven by indirect drivers. This discusses in detail in its appropriate section. I do not think section was not intended to be a counter- this is a place to expand on counter-globalisation globalisation argument, however, this process arguments, as this will certainly deviate the main focus of does have a role in shaping the effect of direct this chapter. My suggestion is thus to delete this last drivers (eg invasive alien species) on section 2.8. pollinators/pollination. Further this paragrpah has been edited and revised following your and other reviewer comments.

Sandhya 2 Intro 11 191 11 195 these should be refected in chapter 6, in terms of what Thanks; we have now added the following Chandrasek the appropriate policy response ought to be, with specific sentence: "Possible responses and options to haran discussions pertaining to scale (local, national, regional remediate effects of drivers, incl. tools or and global) instruments are dealt with especially in chapter 6, with specific discussions pertaining to scale (local, national, regional and global)"

Sandhya 2 Indirect 112 3389 113 3409 very important points and observations. Need to be Efforts have been made to ensure links to Chandrasek effects carried forward and tied up to discussions in chapter 6, Chapter 6 but more so in the summary for haran rather than hang alone, like it does now policymakers (SPM) which fully integrates these messages. Scott Black 2 Land use 13 246 13 246 Add "Some" in between "cases," and "species" See our answer to point 151. This suggestion lets us think that the use we do of the term 'habitat' has not been fully considered. We are confident that the inclusion of a definition box in the current revised version of this draft will largely improve its readability

Scott Black 2 Pesticides 39 1069 39 1069 Consider making the example of public health mosquito amended to reflect wider role control more comprehensive. The language could state: "…disease vectors such as mosquitos, e.g. application of larvacides, adulticides and use of treated bednets." Scott Black 2 Pesticides 39 1071 39 1072 The issue of controlling nuisance mosquitoes in marshes amended to reflect wider role and swamps is controversial and using it as an example here could cause unnecessary debate. Furthermore, broadspectrum adulticides are used for mosquito control in many areas beyond wetlands. Consider cutting the words "in marshes and swamps."

Scott Black 2 Pesticides 39 1072 39 1072 I commented on this sentence last time as well. reworded and amended to highlight need for Pesticides can impct pollinators even when used under effective risk mitigation label directions. 50,000 bumble bees were killed in http://portlandtribune.com/sl/206414-62081- Oregon, USA in one pesticide event and the pesticides bumblebee-incidents-result-in-pesticide- applicator was following label directions. Consider violations; changing sentence as it appears you are saying that only new text reads: "Some pesticides, particularly pesticides used inappropriately impact pollinators. insecticides, can directly affect pollinator abundance and diversity by causing mortality, especially when not used in accordance with effective risk management/mitigation to reduce/remove exposure, for example using only outside the flowering period of crops attractive to bees"; thus it is highlighted that it is not only the off-label use which might impact pollinators Scott Black 2 Pesticides 40 1112 40 1113 Consider editing the first bullet point regarding areas of text amended debate/challenge. It currently states: "what are the direct and sublethal effects of exposure of pollinator populations to field realistic levels of pesticides under typical conditions...” The challenge/debate might be better represented by stating: "what are the direct sublethal effects on pollinator populations from exposure to pesticides at levels found in the field from legal use.” Taking it one step further the challenge is also to understand impact from pesticide use at scale - in other words looking cumulatively. There has been much debate between federal agencies in the US as to whether there are “typical conditions” or a representative set of “field realistic levels” for species assessments. If such levels can be defined, is it even the correct tool to measure risk? At the heart of the question is whether the goal is to determine if the regulatory system is sufficient or whether on-the-ground practices are protective.

Scott Black 2 Pesticides 41 1126 41 1126 Tonnage alone does not provide a complete answer as to data only available by ai not in a format whether insecticide use has decreased. Many of the readily synthesised; note added about newer chemistries are effective at smaller amounts. challenges Consider also including data on number of acres/hectares treated. That additional information would provide a more complete picture of use trends. See USGS site for more info https://water.usgs.gov/nawqa/pnsp/usage/maps/ Scott Black 2 Pesticides 42 1164 42 1167 Clearly, there is need for greater understanding of use noted but risk assessment approaches are practices. Still, risk assessments that drives regulation covered in Ch 6 should consider evaluating a range of legal use rates to ensure that the highest legal rate is sufficiently protective. Practices on the ground vary dramatically between growers, and from year to year. This discussion of measuring impact of typical use vs measuring impact of legal uses was discussed by EPA and US wildlife agencies to determine risk assessment protocol for endangered speices evaluation. Scott Black 2 Pesticides 43 1199 43 1199 The fact that "areas where less than 100 ha were treated total usage provided not a single farm so the have been excluded" raises the question of what % of use 100 ha usage relates to entire UK, seed is on lands 100 ha or less? In England and Wales average treatments are included within the data farm size is still 50 hectares or less. Consider clarifying what percent of use is represented or if too cumbersome consider providing some other context on the % of use captured. Also, I wonder if the planting of coated seeds is included in this use data. Consider adding it in (if the data exist) or noting the deficiency.

Scott Black 2 Pesticides 45 1255 45 1257 Consider adding a sentence noting that puddles in detection levels need to be defined in relation agricultural fields are also a source of exposure. A study to levels of intake required for effect; most of rainwater puddles in the corn fields of southwest water data(as Samson Rober et al) are in ng/L Quebec detected one or more neonicotinoid in all 59 and therefore can be related to the sublethal sample. Contamination levels were high enough to cause effects in the figure sublethal effects (Samson-Robert et al. 2014). Samson- Robert, O., G. Labrie, M. Chagnon, and V. Fournier. 2014. Neonicotinoid-Contaminated Puddles of Water Represent a Risk of Intoxication for Honey Bees. PloS one 9, no. 12 (2014): e108443. Scott Black 2 Pesticides 52 1493 52 1495 It is extremely important to note that the Blacquiere Good point, included. study used seed treatment residue levels as its benchmark. Seed treatment residues are generally much lower than other application methods. It should be clarified in the text that no effects were observed at field realistic dosages from seed treatment.

Scott Black 2 Pesticides 54 1556 55 1573 Consider adding that synergism was found by combining examples are provided not an exhaustive list neonicotinoids. See Patent No. 7,745,375 B2. Andersch et al. 2010. Scott Black 2 Pesticides 56 1604 56 1608 As stated above there have been bee kills (some the Oregon bee kill was an off-label use significant) even when labels were followed. These had nothing with seed treatments. You should not say that "no clear issus have been identified" wjen regilated use has caused large kills. Scott Black 2 Pesticides 56 1621 56 1634 To more fully understand both the hazard/toxicity of soil, water and plant metabolites are included neonicotinoids (as well as exposure) we need to better in risk assessments in Europe; info added; understand the neonicotinoid degradates. While there is also the following sentence was added: already some information into the complex breakdown "However, a thorough assessment of the pathways and some of the degradates of concern we effects of neonicotinoids under realistic field can't understand the entire risk profile without asking: conditions on multiple crops at multiple "What are the concerns from exposure to neonicotinoid exposure levels will take a significant period of metabolites? time, and a large financial investment, to complete." Scott Black 2 Pesticides 57 1635 57 1642 As data has shown some neonicotinoids to be highly highlighted as in subsequent crops growen in persistent, we should better fill gaps in our knowledge the treated fields; about exposure by asking: "How long will neonicotinoids also the following sentence was added: persist in plants and be available for exposure? Do "However, a thorough assessment of the neonicotinoid levels increase with use from year to year? effects of neonicotinoids under realistic field If so, what exposure concerns does this build up pose?" conditions on multiple crops at multiple exposure levels will take a significant period of time, and a large financial investment, to complete." Scott Black 2 Diseases 67 1984 67 1984 Thereare more recent citations that could be put here to added Murray et al. 2013 include Europe: Murray, T. E., M. F. Coffey, E. Kehoe, and F. G. Horgan. 2013. Pathogen prevalence in commercially reared bumble bees and evidence of spillover in conspecific populations. Biological conservation 159:269–276. Scott Black 2 Bee 77 2778 77 2778 A few recent citations to consider: added Furst et al and Smith et al. 2014 manageme Fürst, M. A., D. P. McMahon, J. L. Osborne, R. J. Paxton, nt and M. J. F. Brown. 2014. Disease associations between honeybees and bumblebees as a threat to wild pollinators. Nature 506:364–366.

Manley, R., M. Boots, and L. Wilfert. 2015. REVIEW: Emerging viral disease risk to pollinating insects: ecological, evolutionary and anthropogenic factors. The Journal of applied ecology 52:331–340.

Smith, K. M., E. H. Loh, M. K. Rostal, C. M. Zambrana- Torrelio, L. Mendiola, and P. Daszak. 2014. Pathogens, Pests, and Economics: Drivers of Honey Bee Colony Declines and Losses. EcoHealth:1–12.

McMahon, D. P., M. A. Fürst, J. Caspar, P. Theodorou, M. J. F. Brown, and R. J. Paxton. 2015. A sting in the spit: widespread cross-infection of multiple RNA viruses across wild and managed bees. The Journal of animal ecology. Available from http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/1365- 2656.12345. Scott 2 Invasives 90 2708 90 2710 This sentence should also reference the study of Kato and Added Groom Kawakita (2004) Am J of Bot from New Caledonia Scott 2 Invasives 91 2737 91 2739 While I understand that supporting literature is limited, I revised sentence: Certain solitary bee species Groom feel this point is particularly important to highlight. We have been introduced, some possessing know little of the ecological impacts of introduced similar traits to invasive social bees, but solitary and sub-social species, but there is a growing relatively little is known about their impact on collection of records of established populations with the ecology of native pollinators; representing many exhibiting invasive traits. Molecular techniques and a gap in understanding that could help to online resources have made it much easier to forecast future invasions differentiate between species likley introduced and natives, but (as usual) it is their ecology where the largest knowledge gaps are. So while the impact of Apis and Bombus are better studied, this may be a good opportunity to highlight what future research might consider in terms of non-eusocial invasive species.

Scott 2 Invasives 92 2755 92 2760 I'm uncertain of what this combination of sentences is We are here not saying that insular species Groom saying exactly. Why would species restricted to islands have the same genetic signature than have the same genetic signature as species that have bottlenecked species, but that these species undergone a bottleneck? In many endemic species of the have low genetic diversity. The historical Pacific there is very high genetic diversity (i.e. Homalictus, demographic signature may or not be due to Hylaeus), even in species restricted to high elevations. a similar demographic event. However, the The second sentence is particularly ambiguous, what is fact that species restricted to islands have less the impact of reduced genetic diversity on invasions? genetic diversity than their mainland Perhaps I am not reading it correctly. counterparts is a fact that has been demonstrated multiple times, and although some species can indeed support higher genetic diversity, this is generally much lower than that displayed by the mainland or more widespread sister species (see, for instance Frankham, 1997 Heredity. 78 (3):311-27. and Stuessy et al., 2014 Bot J Linn Soc. 174(3):276- 288). We have now modified the sentence to clarify this idea. We have now following this comment clarified the second sentence refered to be this reviewer, shortly explaining the main results of that study. Scott 2 Climate 96 2888 96 2888 There are several studies now that document changes in Thanks for the hint, we have included two of Groom change effective population size in resposne to climate change these citations in the text; the Raychoudhury since the last glacial maximum, demonstrating the papers we found did however not deal with potential plasticity in certain populations i.e. climate change Raychoudhury et al. 2010 Heredity, López-Uribe et al. 2014 Mol Ecol, Groom et al. 2014 PRSB

Shalene Jha 2 ES 5 10 5 10 remove 'plant' since otherwise the second half of the After revision this now reads: Land use sentence seems redundant changes leading to losses in habitat diversity also reduce pollinator dependent wild and cultivated seed and fruit set

Shalene Jha 2 ES 9 123 9 124 climatic? Sentence is not very clear This typo has been corrected in a full revision of this statement: The change in climatic conditions, especially under mid- and high- end scenarios, exceeds the maximum speed at which several groups of pollinators (e.g. many bumblebees or butterflies) can disperse or migrate (well established). Such species are predicted to find themselves in unfavorable climates and unable to reach areas of potentially suitable habitat (established but incomplete). Shalene Jha 2 ES 9 132 9 132 change 'genetic to biome' to 'genes to biomes' Done

Shalene Jha 2 Land use 12 220 12 221 sentence is unclear and could benefit from rewording Done.

Shalene Jha 2 Land use 14 272 14 274 this sentence gives the impression that nutritional The sentence has been modified accordingly. changes in bee bread are the only mechanistic explanation for land-use-mediated pollinator decline -- so it could be reworded Shalene Jha 2 Land use 14 277 14 280 I think this is a pretty strong statement to make off of just The sentence has been now modified to make one study -- could add 'but see Davis 2010 and Jha & this sentence less strong. Also, since the Kremen 2013 (both in Molecular Ecology)' which show comment relates mainly to urban that urbanization reduces the gene flow of ground- environments, we have now added a mention nesting bees. to this and we sned the reader to the section (2.2.2.4), where we present and expand on this in depth. Shalene Jha 2 Land 21 520 22 522 This sentence could be moved to the end of the section Done. manageme (line 532) for improved flow nt Shalene Jha 2 Land 33 871 33 872 this sentence could be cut Done. manageme nt Shalene Jha 2 Land 33 895 33 895 There is an unexpected jump from greenhouses to They are treated as separate sections now. manageme orchards nt Shalene Jha 2 Land 33 895 33 895 This paragraph seems a bit disjointed, covering multiple Content is reduced. manageme seemingly unrelated topics nt Shalene Jha 2 Land 34 917 34 917 could be a new paragraph since a new topic has been It is a new paragraph. manageme initiated nt Shalene Jha 2 Pesticides 39 780 30 782 sentence is unclear and could benefit from rewording reworded in ES

Shalene Jha 2 Pesticides 39 1083 40 1116 I think these points could be bulleted (the two bullets formatting will be revised during editing# later in the box are not necessary) for ease of reading, like the following box Shalene Jha 2 Pesticides 44 1204 43 1230 I think this could be developed more -- what else makes amended to case study rather than Spotlight Africa unique? Fewer studies? greater agricultural area, relative to other countries? Longer histroy of human land use? Shalene Jha 2 Pesticides 56 1602 56 1620 I think the earlier portion of this box (where check at formatting stage recommendations are described) should be in bullet form

Shalene Jha 2 Figures Figures - 4 1 5 Fig.2.2.1 - the yellow text is hard to read, all text is too the figure has been modified 1 small Shalene Jha 2 Figures Figures - 10 2 14 Fig.2.2.2 - I think the green rectangles are redundant with The figure has been reworked, and we think 2 the cartoons and could be removed for a cleaner looking that the current version is much more figure improved. Along with this, we have also reworded the legend, what helps clarify the message. Shalene Jha 2 Figures Figures - 20 3 41 Fig.2.2.3 - this figure is a bit simplistic and could be Following the comment, the figure has been 3-4 removed unless it can be enhanced to be more now modified. informative. One way to enhance it would be to include a graph showing the flowering season months on the x- axis, and then floral density on the y-axis, and crops and natural areas represented by different lines. Then, in two separate panels, the existing panels could highlight pollinator movement and in the second panel, a 'polyculture farm' could show the process of managed landscapes having more floral resources across the different months. Shalene Jha 2 Figures Figures - 40 5 55 Fig.2.3.1 & 2 - remove background gridlines (or make Figures will be redesigned for the final version. 5 lighter) and capitalize Neonics Shalene Jha 2 Figures Figures - 56 6 82 Fig.2.3.3 - I think this figure could be simplified and Thanks for this comment; we will discuss with 6 reorganized to save space and for clarity -- I think that it the graphic desigenr how to best get this done could be rendered in a line drawing instead of photos (the white background on the images make it very hard to interpret and a bit clunky). You could have just one plant with the systemic pesticide and then one plant with the sprayed application and one bee in the middle with arrows pointing to it and from all of the potential sources

Shalene Jha 2 Figures Figures - 84 7 90 Fig.2.3.4 - This figure is very confusing -- what do the Thanks for this comment; we will discuss with 7 circles mean? Description in the legend would help. Also, the graphic desigenr how to best get this done like Fig. 2.3.1, gridlines could be removed

Shalene Jha 2 Figures Figures - 115 10 148 Fig.2.7.1 - This figure could be imrpoved by removing the We tried it without boxes. The figure becomes 8 borders around the boxes and by making the arrows less clear. We have resigned from colours or grey-scaled and instead convey the percent of studies shading, as some referees found it confusing, that indicate a positive effect (darker grey) or negative therefore we sticked to the simple version effect (lighter grey) on pollinator abundance. Legend needs to be updated now that colors have been removed.

Shalene Jha 2 Figures Figures - 111 9 114 Fig. 2.6.1 - I know the maps will be redrawn, but I also Thanks for this comment; we will discuss with 9 think the labels on the left hand side could be more clear the graphic desigenr how to best get this done and perhaps written in bullets or images Stephan 2 Intro 11 191 This is another understanding of indirect drivers than We corrected this. Lorenz given in the preface what may be confusing in the report. I think what could be meant are 'indirect effects of the drivers'. Stephan 2 Bee 76 2267 Suggestion: produce more or other sorts of honey left as is Lorenz manageme nt Stephan 2 Bee 77 2275 The 'and' may be misleading because pollination changed and to or Lorenz manageme beekeeping often means to harvest less honey. Being nt paid for pollination then serves as financial compensation. Suggestion: ... to be paid for pollination or to maximize and vary honey production.

Stephan 2 Indirect 112 3376 113 3409 It is a very good point to finally reflect on some influences We have also put attention to the fact that Lorenz effects of indirect drivers as given in the IPBES conceptual globalisation is a process not an endpoint in framework in the report's preface. From here we can light of your specific remark and have start the discussion with the social sciences and redrafted accordingly humanities for elaborating the relevant links to the findings of this chapter. To give ‘globalisation’ and ‘human population growth’ as major indirect drivers is not really consistent with the following discussion and it is not convincing from a social science perspective. There is no such a thing as globalisation but a variety of globalising processes that may be support or restrain biodiversity and pollination. And human population growth is not per se a problematic driver. Suggestion for the first sentence: Indirect drivers are producing ...

Stephan 2 Indirect 112 3379 Suggestion: technological developments, e.g. in transport Adopted suggestion Lorenz effects efficiency Sven 2 Land use 16 332 16 33 remove the definition of eveness between brackets : “ This is an important concept, and for that Hanoteaux i.e., a measure of how balanced are species in a given reason we have now included it in the system, in terms of number of individuals”. The network concept definition box. definition of eveness is given in the glossary Sven 2 Land use 19 427 19 429 I'm not sure if the Figure 2.2.3 really adds substantial We thank the reviewer for the comment. Hanoteaux information. Adding the caption of the figure to the However, this figure was very positively information given in the text page 18 line 411-414 woud received by other reviewers and co-authors. make the story clear enough. For that reason, we have now decided to maintain it in the draft. Sven 2 Land 22 527 22 528 Two references are missing References are added. Hanoteaux manageme nt Sven 2 Land 26 666 26 666 It might be a good idea to add the procentual increase as Added and a figure is provided to show Hanoteaux manageme a number in the text (if given in the reference Richards fertiliser use in the different continents. nt 2011) Sven 2 Land 26 666 26 666 The reference Richards 2011 is not listed in the literature, Corrected to 2001, thank you. Hanoteaux manageme I suspect that it should be Richards 2001 nt Sven 2 Land 28 729 28 730 I would remove these two lines. If the information that As we found it important to reffer to Hanoteaux manageme pesticides will be treated in another section is of pesticides in this section, we would rather nt importance, adding it to the introduction of the section keep it. 2.2 would be better. Sven 2 Land 30 780 30 780 Reference missing Added. Hanoteaux manageme nt Sven 2 Pesticides 40 1106 40 1108 May be a good idea to present the HQ in a formula as well stated as application rate/LD50 Hanoteaux Sven 2 Pesticides 47 1343 47 1343 Change >8500 for more than 8500 amended Hanoteaux Sven 2 GMO 57 1664 57 1664 Make clear in the legend (or in the caption) of Figure The figure and legend have been modified Hanoteaux 2.3.5 that developing and industrial refer to the type of accordingly. countries Sven 2 Climate 97 2916 97 2916 “see section 2.9” : according to the section numbers, thanks for this hint, yes, it should be section Hanoteaux change there is no section 2.9, section 2.7 instead? 2.7

Sven 2 Climate 100 3002 100 3004 make the use of the “>” signs consequent througout the done using ">" etc. throughout Hanoteaux change text. Use either “more than” or “>”. Sven 2 Climate 100 3008 100 3008 Table 2.6.1 instead of Table 2.8.1 thanks, done Hanoteaux change Sven 2 Climate 100 3017 100 3017 Indeed, converting this table into a figure would be really thanks for encouragement; that's what we Hanoteaux change a nice improvement on the readibility of the results. I will do (see comment 871) would keep both the figure and the table in the document though. Sven 2 Climate 100 3022 101 3044 I would present all the results giving both the number of done Hanoteaux change species and the %. Further, Sven 2 Climate 100 3022 100 3022 Only the details of the GRAS-no dispersal scenario are see previous line 3042: it is the most severe Hanoteaux change highlighted. Shortly stating why this scenario deserves to scenario be highlighted would be useful ( i.e. is this the worse case scenario or the most likely to happen…)

Sven 2 Climate 100 3024 100 3025 From Table 2.6.1, I read different % than the one given in Thanks a lot for spotting this inconsistency!! Hanoteaux change the text. If I read this table correctly it should be We have corrected the values in the text corrected like this:46% and 30% are at high risk,5% and 24 % are at risk, and only2% and 6% are at low risk. (values in bold are the one I changed).

Sven 2 Climate 101 3046 101 3046 Figure 2.6.1: if the figure stays in the document: define done (put in caption) Hanoteaux change AUC in the caption or in the text and remove the definitions of the categories from the figure and place them either in the caption or refer to the text.

Sven 2 Climate 104 3133 104 3134 Again, there's no section 2.9 thanks, corrected Hanoteaux change Tereza 2 Land use 15 310 Add explanation. Which are these intrinsic characteristics? see answer to comment 194. Giannini Tereza 2 Land use 17 388 399 I didn`t understand the idea We have now modified the section and we Giannini are confident that the message is clearer now.

Tereza 2 Land use 19 457 I think it would be useful to include the maximum Done Giannini distance between natural-agricultural habitats, suggested by Garibaldi et al. 2014 (Frontiers in Ecology and the Environment) Tereza 2 Land 22 535 But see Kleijn et al. 2015 (Nature Communications) The study by Kleijn et al. 2015 has been Giannini manageme already discussed in the Land use section, nt therefore we would not add it here avoiding repetation within the document.

Tereza 2 Land 38 1044 I suggest including ideas discussed by Wratten et al 2012 Included, thank you. Giannini manageme (Agric, Ecos & Environ) nt Tereza 2 Climate 97 2914 Please include: Gillson L, Dawson TP, Jack S, McGeoch As here we do not deal with conservation Giannini change MA. Accommodating climate change contingencies in issues, we did not include this reference; sorry conservation strategy. TREE 2013 Tereza 2 Climate 102 3069 I`m not sure if this is the right place, but you should quote Included here (and elsewhere) Giannini change Kerr et al Science 10 JULY 2015 • VOL 349 ISSUE 6244

Tereza 2 Multiple 108 3274 Please consider including Giannini et al 2015 PlosOne This citation has been included here and a few Giannini effects DOI:10.1371/journal.pone.0129225 other appropriate places in the revised text. Thank you. Tereza 2 Indirect 112 3377 I suggest considering that climate change will also affect Text adjusted and reference included Giannini effects food prodction, probably conducting to new impacts in land use. See for example Watson JEM. Human Responses to Climate Change will Seriously Impact Biodiversity Conservation: It's Time We Start Planning for Them. Conservation Letters 2014; 7: 1–2.

Thomas 2 ES 10 148 10 148 Change "a shift of" (which sounds like a necessary and We have removed this part from the ES due to Brooks passive result) to "companies shifting" (to make clear that the reviewer comments and the speculative this is a result of active decision-making by a particular character of the statement sector). Thomas 2 Pesticides 45 1255 45 1281 An important new paper on this subject has been added in sublethal section Brooks published within the last couple of months, showing that bees (both Apis mellifera and Bombus terrestris) disproportionately consume foods treated with neonicotinoid pesticides amd thus cannot control their exposure to neonicotinoids in food (Kessler et al. 2015 Nature 521: 74–76; DOI 10.1038/nature14414). Thomas 2 Pesticides 51 1469 55 1545 An important new paper on this subject has been Thanks for highlighting, this reference has Brooks published within the last couple of months, adding been included, with its key finding. important evidence to this section in finding "a negative relationship between both colony growth and queen production and the levels of neonicotinoids in the food stores collected by the bees". This "is the first study describing substantial negative impacts of neonicotinoids on colony performance of any bee species with free-flying bees in a field realistic situation where pesticide exposure is provided only as part of normal farming practices". (Goulson 2015 PeerJ 3:e854; DOI 10.7717/peerj.854).

Thomas 2 Indirect 112 3396 112 3396 Change "a shift of" (which sounds like a necessary and Now reads to be clear: Pesticide regulations Brooks effects passive result) to "companies shifting" (to make clear that especially in Europe and the US led to this is a result of active decision-making by a particular business decisions to shift pesticide sales to sector). alternative markets during the last four decades (Galt 2008). Thomas 2 ES 5 11 5 11 if specific sections are to be referenced (e.g., 2.1.1.), then The section citation is to ensure it is Steeger this should be specified to the reader up front and all transparent how the evidence underpinning should should this this format. this assessment is traceable through the report (i.e. from Key messages in Summary for Policy Makers (SPM) > to SPM sections > to Chapter ES> to Chapter sections). This approach is outlined in the Summary for Policy Makers (SPM), which fronts this assessment. Thomas 2 ES 5 15 5 17 while monocultures are generally recognized as reducing This is correct we have included in this Exec. Steeger both the foraging and nesting opportunities, this is Summary paragraph: Certain mass flowering generally within the context of addressing animal needs. crops provide huge food resources for some Some monocultures (e.g., almonds, canola, sunflowers) pollinators, but only for a short duration can provide extensive foraging opportunities; however, (established but incomplete). And this is the opportunityy can be short-lived. further discussed in the main Chapter section.

Thomas 2 ES 5 26 5 26 what are "intensive landscapes"? Do you mean Now reads: especially in landscapes Steeger landscapes subject to intensive agricultural practice? dominated by large fields and more conventional intensive management Thomas 2 ES 5 30 5 32 awkward wording; not sure that "abandonment" is the Now reads:These landscapes are often Steeger proper term. threatened by abandonment of farming (cessation of grazing or mowing of grasslands), which has been observed in temperate regions (well established). In this context abandonment is the standard term.

Thomas 2 ES 6 42 6 42 Insecticides "can" have a brood . . . " Now reads: Pesticides, particularly Steeger insecticides, have been demonstrated to have a broad range of sublethal effects on pollinators in controlled experimental conditions Thomas 2 ES 6 44 6 45 ". . .synergistic and long-term effects of pesticides and This paragraph has been heavily revised Steeger their mixtures are widely underestimated (notional)." It following many comments, the sentence you may be more accurate to say that "the potential originally refered to is now covered by: "It is synergistic and/or long-term effects of pesticides and currently unresolved how sublethal effects of their mixtures remain largely uncertain." pesticide exposure recorded for individual insects affect colonies and populations of managed bees and wild pollinators, especially over the longer term" and "Debate surrounds what constitute a field realistic exposure, and the potential synergistic and long-term effects of pesticides and their mixtures (unresolved). "

Thomas 2 ES 6 45 6 54 as noted in the original review comments on this seciton, Neonicotinoids due to their policy and media Steeger it is unclear why neonicotinoids are singled out. It is profile required flagging up. However, in the possible that other classess of insecticides as well as a revision of the sublethal bullet we do try and broader range of pesticides may also have effects. broaden out, mentioning 'pesticides including insecticides' - to capture effects of fungicides, pyrethoids etc these and their lethal and sublethal effects are well covered in the Chapter section ( which is cited here in ES) Thomas 2 ES 6 51 6 51 "lack of evidence of effects on honey bee colonies" is not paragrpah heavily revised, now reads: Recent Steeger entirely accurate. Consider "lack of consistent evidence" research focusing on neonicotinoid insecticides shows considerable evidence of sublethal effects on bees under controlled conditions (well established). There is evidence from a recent study showing field- scale impacts of neonicotinoids on wild pollinator survival and reproduction (established but incomplete). Evidence, from this and other studies, for effects on managed honey bee colonies is conflicting (unresolved).

Thomas 2 ES 6 54 6 54 why is "unresolved" italicized? Because it is a defined rating of the level of Steeger evidence and expert agreement, this term is from the four-box model which is detailed in the Summary for Policy makers , which fronts this assessment. Thomas 2 ES 7 65 7 67 The state appears speculative and unsupported. Text deleted and replaced with other content. Steeger Thomas 2 ES 7 76 7 76 consider: the same risks may exist Corrected as suggested Steeger Thomas 2 ES 7 84 7 84 . ..and potentially other wild bees" Now reads: and also to wild bees (established Steeger but incomplete). We think this is fine with the corresponding evidence ranking as there has been some strong recent evidence eg Furst et al Nature suggesting pathogen spillover to wild insects is happening Thomas 2 ES 8 91 8 91 "invasive (alien) species" Throughout this pollination assessment we Steeger are focussed on Invasive alien species meaning an alien species occurring outside of its natural range through introduction by humans, which becomes established in ecosystems an is an agent of change, threatening native biodiversity. Thus we need to striclt stick to using invasive and alien together as it is possible for native spp to become invasive. Thomas 2 ES 8 92 8 92 replace "invader" with species Throughout this pollination assessment we Steeger are focussed on Invasive alien species meaning an alien species occurring outside of its natural range through introduction by humans, which becomes established in ecosystems an is an agent of change, threatening native biodiversity. Thus we need to striclt stick to using invasive and alien together as it is possible for native spp to become invasive. Thomas 2 ES 8 94 8 94 drop alien Throughout this pollination assessment we Steeger are focussed on Invasive alien species meaning an alien species occurring outside of its natural range through introduction by humans, which becomes established in ecosystems an is an agent of change, threatening native biodiversity. Thus we need to striclt stick to using invasive and alien together as it is possible for native spp to become invasive. Thomas 2 ES 8 97 8 97 drop alien Throughout this pollination assessment we Steeger are focussed on Invasive alien species meaning an alien species occurring outside of its natural range through introduction by humans, which becomes established in ecosystems an is an agent of change, threatening native biodiversity. Thus we need to striclt stick to using invasive and alien together as it is possible for native spp to become invasive. Thomas 2 ES 8 98 8 98 drop alien Throughout this pollination assessment we Steeger are focussed on Invasive alien species meaning an alien species occurring outside of its natural range through introduction by humans, which becomes established in ecosystems an is an agent of change, threatening native biodiversity. Thus we need to striclt stick to using invasive and alien together as it is possible for native spp to become invasive. Thomas 2 ES 9 113 9 113 insert: potentially disrupting Agree and added Steeger Thomas 2 ES 9 116 9 117 ". . .very likely will lead . . ." Now corrected to read: are very likely to lead Steeger to major changes Thomas 2 ES 9 120 9 120 consider: "The rate and extent of climate changeacrss Wholly revised, now reads: The change in Steeger the landscape" climatic conditions, especially under mid- and high- end scenarios, exceeds the maximum speed at which several groups of pollinators (e.g. many bumblebees or butterflies) can disperse or migrate (well established).

Thomas 2 ES 9 122 9 123 ". . .keep up with these climiate changes are projected to Revised to follow on from the previous Steeger find . . ." sentence, it now reads: Such species are predicted to find themselves in unfavorable climates and unable to reach areas of potentially suitable habitat (established but incomplete). Thomas 2 ES 9 133 9 135 ". . .pollinators may pose a potential . . ." Sentence now revised as : "This variety of Steeger threats (often anthropogenic) to pollinators and pollination poses a potential risk to food security, human health and ecosystem function (speculative)". We think is is clear that it is a potential risk and moroever the evidence rating is speculative, so there is no need to now adopt this minor edit. Thomas 2 ES 10 148 10 149 Not sure what this sentence is saying. We have removed this part from the ES due to Steeger the reviewer comments and the speculative character of the statement Thomas 2 ES 10 149 10 150 Not sure there is less strict environmental "there"-- are We have removed this part from the ES due to Steeger they less strict than what? Where is "there"? the reviewer comments and the speculative character of the statement Thomas 2 Intro 11 182 11 182 Why are the neonicotinoids highlighted? If you are This is due to the scoping notes provided by Steeger highlighting the one insecticide, then why not highlight IPBES. one fungicide? Herbicide? Thomas 2 Intro 11 195 11 195 Wouldn't each of the direct drivers have indirect effects? We corrected this. Steeger Thomas 2 Land use 11 197 11 197 Define acronymn UN FAO first time used. this will be done in the final editing stages Steeger Thomas 2 Land use 14 272 14 272 replace "ground" with "basis"; also "Experimental studies done Steeger have demonstrated a potential mechanistic . . ."

Thomas 2 Land use 15 317 15 317 Besides leading to habitat loss and degradates, land use We do not understand what the reviewer Steeger fragmentation alters the area means with this. Thomas 2 Land use 16 334 16 334 unclear what is meant by "eveness". Do you mean "the we have now added the term "species" in Steeger extnet of habitat fragmentation? front it. Also, please note that the 'evenness" was defined in the previous line. In the current version, and taking into account comment #1152, we have decided to remove this definition from the text and add it to the definition box. Thomas 2 Land use 16 339 16 339 not sure what is meant by "conflated under the term This has been now clarified. Steeger 'land use' by the authors". Thomas 2 Land use 16 341 16 341 replace "these" with "habitat fragmentation and loss" done Steeger Thomas 2 Land use 17 381 17 381 replace "rewire better" with "more rapidly adapt" This is a network term. In this case, there is no Steeger real adaptation from an evolutionary perspective, so we would like to avoid using such a terminology. To clarify this, ther term "rewiring" appears now in the definition box.

Thomas 2 Land use 17 384 17 384 Is 'connectiveness' a word? How about connectivity? We think that the reviewer means Steeger "connectance". This is a network concept and its definition appears now in the definition box. Thomas 2 Land use 17 391 17 392 Is this to say that the preceding section is not based on We have now reworded the sentence to make Steeger empirical data? sure that is states that MOST (not all) data comes from modelling approaches, while some experimental data has been gathered. We explicitly mention some of the studies falling in each category, and the idea of this sentences is to point the little experimental knowledge we currently have on the topic.

Thomas 2 Land use 19 440 19 440 "Slightly more steeply" is vague terminology. Were the We thank the reviewer for pointing this. The Steeger rates of decline (i.e., slopes) significantly different? sentence has been now reworded to indicate that the slopes weren't significantly different.

Thomas 2 Land 21 494 21 494 place period after citation Done. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 21 497 21 497 Are the sites of similar size? Yes, content is added. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 21 498 21 498 Not clear what is meant by "potential of strawberry Revised sentence. Steeger manageme pollination" nt Thomas 2 Land 22 527 22 527 reference appears to be missing. Reference is added. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 22 528 22 528 reference appears to be missing. Reference is added. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 23 574 23 574 "foraging for either nectar or pollen" Revised. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 25 638 25 638 replace "needed" with "necessary" Done. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 25 639 25 639 ". . .had a more substantial positive effect . . ." Done. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 26 649 26 649 define albedo (i.e., fraction of solar energy reflected back Done. Steeger manageme from earth) nt Thomas 2 Land 26 667 26 667 replace "consumption" with "use" The sentence is deleted. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 26 671 26 671 consider: 200 million tonnes Done. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 26 677 26 677 replace "robust" with "resistant" Done. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 28 729 28 730 recommend deleting section As we found it important to refer to pesticides Steeger manageme in this section, we would rather keep it. nt Thomas 2 Land 29 746 29 746 replace "haying" with "cutting for silage" Sentence is deleted. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 30 779 30 782 ". . .and the loss of leguminous species has been Revised. Steeger manageme associated with the decline of several species of bumble nt bees (reference missing) as evidenced by the switch to silage . . ." Thomas 2 Land 31 817 31 817 replace "they" with "the researchers" Done. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 31 821 31 821 delete "though" after although. Although there was no Done. Steeger manageme evidence of an effect from mowing mortality on local nt pollinator population dynamics or pollinator services, studies . . ." Thomas 2 Land 33 874 33 874 "Since then, in China alone there are 2.7 million ha and in Revised. Steeger manageme South Korea 57 thousand ha of greenhouses." nt Thomas 2 Land 33 890 33 890 "The level of carbon dioxide (CO2) . . ." Done. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 33 891 33 891 The sentence structure is awkward. What is meant by Yes, it was meant that way. Sentence is Steeger manageme "up to a level activity"? Dp you mean a threshold revised. nt concentration of CO2 beyond which it is issue for bumble bees? Thomas 2 Land 34 910 34 910 replace "pollinator lack" with decreased numbers of Done. Steeger manageme pollinators" nt Thomas 2 Land 34 914 34 914 ". . .farmers tried to . . ." Done. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 34 919 34 919 mechanical means eliminated native flowers Done. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 34 926 34 926 delete last sentence as it is incomplete. Deleted. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 34 931 34 934 awkward sentence structure Revised sentence. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 35 935 35 935 delete "too" from end of sentence. Done. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 35 943 35 943 define "brownfield site' Land previously used for industrial purposes Steeger manageme or some commercial uses. Added. nt Thomas 2 Land 36 990 36 990 why the focus on neonicotinoids? these currently under greatest scrutiny Steeger manageme globally and were explicitly mentioned in the nt scoping document Thomas 2 Land 36 991 36 991 substitute "insecticide" for "pesticide" Done. Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Land 38 1047 38 1048 the statement "the lack of sustainability of conventional See comm. 468. Steeger manageme scale agriculture, however, is very well established". Has nt this been well established? If so, it should be referenced.

Thomas 2 Pesticides 39 1073 39 1073 delete parenthetical statements statement is important to highlight example Steeger of effective risk mitigation Thomas 2 Pesticides 39 1076 39 1076 why the focus on neonicotinoids? these currently under reatest scrutiny globally Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 39 1076 39 1079 cite references to support statement references added Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 39 1090 39 1090 ECx would not be the median effect concentration. Do amended Steeger you mean EC50? Thomas 2 Pesticides 39 1090 39 1091 "The challenge is to understant the magnitude and amended Steeger duration of adverse effects . . ." Thomas 2 Pesticides 40 1104 40 1110 This sentence could be simplified by saying that the risk is amended Steeger typically estimated by examining the ratio of exposure to effects. At a determinate level point estimates of exposure and effects are used; whereas, probabilistic risk estimation methods consider the distribution of exposure and effect endpoints and are better suited to estimating the likelihood and magnitude of an adverse effect.

Thomas 2 Pesticides 41 1131 41 1131 replace "chlorinated hydrocarbon" with "organochlorines" amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 42 1164 42 1164 by "granularity of pesticide usage data" do you mean amended Steeger "accessibility/availability to pesticide use data"?

Thomas 2 Pesticides 43 1189 43 1189 ". . .allowed in some countries . . .". NOTE: rotenone is noted Steeger not labeled for use on crops in the U.S. Thomas 2 Pesticides 43 1202 43 1202 insert comma before data amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 43 1219 43 1219 delete extra period after "production" deleted Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 44 1221 44 1221 insert period after "concerns" inserted Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 44 1222 44 1222 replace "were less inhabited" with "had lower numbers of amended Steeger adult bees and were . . ." Thomas 2 Pesticides 44 1233 44 1233 ". . .for effects on non-target insect . . ." amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 44 1246 44 1246 "Acute hazard . . ." amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 44 1249 44 1249 consider "Risk assessment (which considers exposure and amended Steeger toxicity) . . .than hazard (which may consider toxicity alone) Thomas 2 Pesticides 45 1256 45 1256 "contact with drift or overspray . . ." amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 45 1262 45 1262 ". . .new classes of systemic insecticides . . ." amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 46 1304 46 1304 delete "and combined" amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 47 1331 47 1331 ". . .and are reliant . . ." amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 47 1337 47 1341 the Canadian incident reporting process is not new and in amended Steeger not limited to neonicotinoids. Also, the dust is not from talc/graphite but rather abraded seed coatings during planting. Thomas 2 Pesticides 48 1370 48 1370 EPPO hazard quotient threshold of 50 amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 48 1370 48 1373 this is a relatively broad statement for pyrethroids; amended Steeger repellency may be limited to specific pyrethroids such as permethrin and not the entire class of pyrethroids.

Thomas 2 Pesticides 49 1392 49 1392 "generates" amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 49 1393 49 1393 delete "on" amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 49 1406 49 1406 change "evaluation" to "evaluating" amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 49 1407 49 1407 change "contrary" to "conflicting" amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 50 1415 50 1415 spelling "clothianidin" amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 52 1476 52 1476 do you mean "at or above"? In this paper, it is actually "at or below". Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 55 1577 55 1577 why would one "expect" the toxicity to be additive? amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 55 1588 55 1588 add space between "contribute to" amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 55 1591 55 1591 it's not clear as to what is meant by "adapted limits of amended Steeger detection" Thomas 2 Pesticides 55 1593 55 1593 replace "its" with "their"; change "has" to "have" amended Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 56 1605 56 1605 lethaligy at the individual bee and/or colony level may Chapter 6 Steeger occur but the level of such mortality may not be deemed as unacceptable when compared against the benefits.

Thomas 2 Pesticides 56 1614 56 1614 define Hill's epidemological criteria see Cresswell reference Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 63 1846 63 1846 by "selen" do you mean "selenium"? corrected Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 63 1846 63 1846 do you mean "non-chemical"? yes, corrected Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 63 1848 63 1848 delete "fog e.g." or say "for example" corrected Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 63 1855 63 1855 not clear how essential and non-essential wer/are clarified Steeger determined relative to chemicals Thomas 2 Pesticides 64 1863 64 1863 delete "of"; insert comma after decline corrected Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 64 1879 64 1879 replace "causing" with "associated with" corrected Steeger Thomas 2 Pesticides 67 1960 67 1961 these acronyms have already been defined in this amended Steeger chapter; recommend just using the acronym Thomas 2 Pesticides 67 1965 67 1965 the advent of IR crops has result in a general reduction of amended Steeger insecticide use globally. Thomas 2 Pesticides 67 1967 67 1967 replace "what" with "which" amended Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 67 1983 67 1983 not sure how either Apis or Varroa is an example of Varroa is considered a disease by OIE as Steeger disease Varroisis Thomas 2 Diseases 68 2000 68 2000 define BQCV first time used done Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 68 2009 68 2009 acronym already defined; therefore, just use acronym OK Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 69 2027 69 2028 " . . .has become widespread" changed Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 69 2029 69 2030 italicize Latin name done Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 69 2032 69 2033 italicize Latin name done Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 70 2076 70 2076 ". . .are cofactors in the delines of pollinators. . ." Sentence corrected Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 70 2076 70 2076 need to be consistent on how virus names are or are not Corrected Steeger capitalized Thomas 2 Diseases 70 2078 70 2078 avoid repeating definitions Fixed Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 71 2086 71 2086 need to discuss (expand upon) how pollen is related to Ref to Singh 2010 added and text expanded. Steeger the spread of viruses Thomas 2 Diseases 73 2153 73 2153 ". . .against disease and acquire . . ." corrected Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 73 2167 73 2167 ". . .colonies could be regarded . . ." corrected Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 74 2187 74 2187 delete "is"; replase "are" with "is" corrected Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 74 2191 74 2191 ". . .are found in faeces, or in provisions . . ." corrected Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 74 2197 74 2197 incomplete sentence corrected Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 75 2221 75 2221 Pests or parasites"? Or, Pests and Parasites? corrected structure and headings Steeger Thomas 2 Diseases 75 2232 75 2232 italicize Latin names corrected Steeger Thomas 2 Bee 77 2278 77 2278 delete semicolon; place "wax, honey, and propolis" in done Steeger manageme parentheses. nt Thomas 2 Bee 78 2309 78 2309 insert "This research suggests that if agriculture . . ." added new text Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Bee 78 2321 78 2321 close parentheses after pathogens Yes Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Bee 80 2377 80 2377 insert "(see Chapter 1)" after ornithophilous. Done Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Bee 83 2466 83 2466 change "mean" to "means" corrected Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Bee 83 2468 83 2468 change "sells" to "sales" corrected Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Bee 83 2471 83 2471 replace "in e.g." with "in for example" or with "e.g.," by corrected Steeger manageme itself nt Thomas 2 Bee 83 2487 83 2487 insert reference to support statement References for this statement are in the Steeger manageme supporting Table 2.4.2 nt Thomas 2 Bee 84 2518 84 2518 delete "rather" corrected Steeger manageme nt Thomas 2 Climate 94 2812 94 2812 insert hyphen betwee "location-specific" done Steeger change Thomas 2 Climate 95 2858 95 2858 change "effect" to "affect" done, thanks Steeger change Thomas 2 Climate 95 2860 95 2860 inset "and" between "temperature precipitation" done, thanks Steeger change Thomas 2 Climate 95 2869 95 2860 delete "are" done, thanks Steeger change Thomas 2 Climate 98 2933 98 2933 insert " . . .Northward shifts, respectively" after 37 km done Steeger change Thomas 2 Multiple 108 3260 108 3260 replace "scopes" with "a potential" altered Steeger effects Thomas 2 Multiple 109 3304 109 3304 replace "up-scaled" with "enhanced" "enhanced" would not be appropriate here, Steeger effects we have reworded to make clear the point: "This implies that the effects of pathogen infection and sub-lethal chronic pesticide exposure observed on the individual worker bee’s physiology has the potential to be up- scaled, through worker behavior, to limit the ability of a bee colony to combat pathogen transmission. Thomas 2 Multiple 110 3317 110 3317 unclear what is meant by "but see". Do you mean that Yes - this has been rephrased to be clear: "but Steeger effects the following reference provides information to the see Fauser-Misslin et al., (2013) for an contrary? example of queen mortality". This example is elucidated further in the preceding paragraph. Thomas 2 Multiple 111 3346 111 3346 change "colonies" to "colony" done Steeger effects Thomas 2 Indirect 112 3377 112 3377 consider clarify by adding: "the less stringent Thanks, we have added this to the text Steeger effects environmental regulations in those nations where other markets exist." Thomas 2 Indirect 112 3398 112 3398 change data "are" generally . . ." changed Steeger effects Thomas 2 Indirect 112 3401 112 3401 the concept of a "circle of poison" was not discussed We have now added the definition in the text: Steeger effects earlier. "The circle of poison describes a situation in which, pesticides banned in industrialized countries continue to be manufactured there and exported to developing countries, are then used in developing countries almost entirely on export crops, and return." (Galt, 2008) Thomas 2 Indirect 112 3406 112 3406 what is meant by "race to the bottom"? Rephrased and a more recent reference has Steeger effects been added UK 2 ES 5 3 5 5 Habitat degradation should be explained in clearer terms. This is clarified now in the revised ES with Governmen A habitat is the home of an individual or group of species. explicit mention of the loss of resources:"Land t What is meant here is the change in land use or use changes which result in greater landscape management that results in a shift from natural or semi- fragmentation, lower connectivity, or the loss natural habitat to one that is urban or agricultural of resources for pollinators, will negatively improved, and contains fewer floral resources. affect wild pollinator diversity, abundance and network structure (well established), potentially affecting community stability (established but incomplete). " Habitat is now clearly defined in a Box in the Chapter and in the Chapter glossary and more carefully used throughout the assessment.

UK 2 ES 7 67 7 67 Typo - "birds" Text deleted and replaced with other content. Governmen t UK 2 ES 9 123 9 123 Word missing - "climatic….?" Possibly "envelope"? This typo has been corrected in a full revision Governmen of this statement: The change in climatic t conditions, especially under mid- and high- end scenarios, exceeds the maximum speed at which several groups of pollinators (e.g. many bumblebees or butterflies) can disperse or migrate (well established). Such species are predicted to find themselves in unfavorable climates and unable to reach areas of potentially suitable habitat (established but incomplete). UK 2 Land use 13 241 13 247 As Ch2 page 5, lines 3-5: "Habitat degredation" needs to this appears now in the definition box Governmen be explained in clearer terms. The reason it is important t is that this is a key driver of observed change in composition of pollinator populations. Many pollinator declines are of specialist species, and there is an important research question as to whether these are functionally important outside natural or semi-natural habitats. UK 2 Land 22 527 22 528 Two references missing References are added. Governmen manageme t nt UK 2 Land 23 553 24 589 This whole section has a lot of grammatical errors and The section is revised and restructured to Governmen manageme needs some editing improve clarity.. t nt UK 2 Land 23 567 23 567 It's the stigmas that are blocked, not the stamens Corrected. Governmen manageme t nt UK 2 Land 23 570 23 570 What is meant by "higher profit for the pollinated plants"? Revised as "resulting in higher pollination Governmen manageme success for the pollinated plants". t nt UK 2 Land 23 582 23 583 "Oil seed rape" is not a term used much in other parts of Changed to canola. Governmen manageme the world. Suggest using "canola (oil seed rape)" t nt UK 2 Land 30 780 30 78 Missing reference Added. Governmen manageme t nt UK 2 Land 33 871 35 937 This whole section has a lot of grammatical errors and Edited. Governmen manageme needs some editing t nt UK 2 Pesticides 44 1247 44 1247 "curcubits" should be "cucurbits" amended Governmen t UK 2 Pesticides 48 1366 48 1366 Author is "Yeo-Chang" not "Yeo-Change" amended Governmen t UK 2 Pesticides 55 1600 57 1648 There should be some mention of the recent re-analysis The paper by Goulson (2015) in PeerJ is now Governmen of the FERA report by Goulson (2015) - see: mentioned t https://peerj.com/articles/854/ UK 2 GMO 57 1653 57 1654 This definition is not correct. In most countries, including The sentence has been now reworded to Governmen the EU, the definition of a GMO is broader than the include the FAO definition. t introduction of transgenes. UK 2 GMO 58 1683 59 1707 This section would be much improved if it had a more Comment on lines 1705-1707: The sentence Governmen logical structure and didn't conflate issues/ points. Some has been reworded to clarify what the t of the references are inappropriate or misreprensented in message was here. Further, we now mention the report. Line 1672 in the previous section states that that more research is needed in this aspect. (Bt) proteins are relatively taxon-specific. Therefore, it is Comment on lines 1702-1703: The reasonable to consider whether pollinators from the concentration for which an effect was found same taxonomic Order as the targeted pest species would in Ramirez-Romero et al 2008 is close to that be affected. Unfortunately, the information provided in of the Bt corn event 176 found in lines 1705 to 1707, which relates to this question, is not NaturGard(3.029ug/g or 3029ng/g; see relevant. Neither paper contains data that show Fearing et al, 1997 and http://cera- beneficial non-target Lepidoptera are affected by the Bt gmc.org/GmCropDatabaseEvent/176). protein. The 'ambiguous results' referred to in the report Although this was stated in the previous refers to a disagreement about pollen movement over version of the draft, this is now written in a longer distances, not toxicity. A separate question is more explicit way, and we say that this whether non-target organisms from different taxonomic concentration is close to that displayed by this Orders from the target pests are affected at biologically particular event. Furthermore, we now relevant concentrations. It is not clear what research lines mention that the lower tested concentrations 1702 and 1703 are referring to but if its Romirez-Romero are similar to those expressed in other et al (2008), this is misleading. Romirez and Romero et al transgenic events. found an effect at the highest concentration of Bt protein tested. This is approximately 500 x higher than found in GM crops (5000ng/g of Bt protein compared to approx 90ng/g present in MON810 and Bt11 maize pollen).

UK 2 GMO 58 1696 58 1696 This suggests that there hasn't been testing of The mentioned studies have been now added Governmen coleopteran pollinators, whereas there have been a and the section modified. We thank the t number of studies involving the lady beetle (Coleomegilla reviewer for this comment. maculata). UK 2 GMO 59 1723 60 1754 The report notes that studies indicate that the amount of In this part of the section, we are talking Governmen herbicide used with GMHT crops is no greater than with about possible indirect effects of GM-crops t non GM crops. Lines 1746 - 1747 confuse this statement and how much has been shown (or not) on by suggesting that HT crops are particularly linked to this. We can not ignore that the very regular herbicide treatments. It also suggests that such technology of HT crops is based on the idea treatments could be toxic to pollinators. There is no that herbicides are very likely to be applied evidence/ discussion to support this statement i.e. why during hte growing season. From that herbicides used with GMHT crops are potentially more perspective, mentioning that HT crops are toxic than those associated with non-GM crops (the associated with the applicaiton of herbicides report already establishes that this isn't to do with does not seem as a very extreme or amounts used). It would be preferable to remove this inaccurate statement, but rather a very sentence. There is no explanation in the section that obvious one. Further, in order to clarify how impact will depend on the GM herbicide regime used by herbicide applications could affect pollinators farmers/ allowed by regulators (e.g. in accordance with and pollination we explicitly refer to the plant pesticide products legislation) and this could vary section in our chapter that extensively considerably; noting that GMHT crop systems allow more presents this (section 2.2.2.1.8). In order to flexibility than conventional systems. The UK's Farm Scale clarify these ideas, we have now reworded Evaluations showed that GMHT maize systems supported these sentences. It is important to note that greater biodiversity than non-GM maize under the this section of hte chapter does not deal wiht particular conditions of the study whereas GMHT oilseed crop management, and that this topic is rape and beet systems had comparatively less addressed in section 2.2.2. For that reason, biodiversity compared with their non-GM counterparts. we have not expanded here into comparing However, it is important to note that the herbicide the outcomes of different crop management regimes used could be altered to generate different methods. results. It is also very important to recognise that differences in biodiversity were greater between different crops than they were between GMHT and non -GM crops of the same species. UK 2 GMO 60 1755 61 1775 'Gene Escape' is a poor title; the terminology is Following this comment the title of the Governmen unneccessarily inflammatory given that 'gene flow' is a section has been changed into transgene flow. t normal biological mechanism (and the usual term). The We disagree with the reviewers on their whole section is implausible : a transgene would have to opinion that this section is implausible. be present in a number of individual plants in a wild Indeed, when introgression has been tested species to have an impact on 'communities of pollinators' with molecular methods, it has been and 'ecological networks'. As discussed in the report, identified. Further, any mutation that even if there are sexually compatible wild plants in the improves the fitness of the organism is vicinty of a cultivated crop (e.g. a GM crop), introgression expected to increase in frequence in a rates are low. The report suggests that gene flow can population, even if starting at very low occur over long distances - but if it happens, it will be a frequencies. In the very reduced number of rare event and again, the potential for introgression is studies investigating this, it has been shown likely to be low. The UK's GM Science Report (2003) has a that IR-introgressed wild relatives can have a helpful section on geneflow, which provides more detail. higher fitness, and thus spread quickly. Line 1777 refers to herbicide tolerant weeds. There is no Although we agree that these are theoretical evidence to suggest that gene flow has resulted in wild expectations, we also understand that there is species outside the cultivated area becoming problem a lack of evidence on this, and thus a weeds due to gene flow from a GM crop. (This contrasts knowledge gap to properly evaluate the with the evolution of herbicide tolerant weeds in fields impact of such a gene flow into pollinators resulting from excessive herbicide use). and pollination of crops and wild plants. For these reasons, we have maintained the section, and we have modified it to clarify our message. Related to line 1767, we do refer here to HT weeds formed by introgression. For this reason, the section has been maintained. UK 2 GMO 61 1787 62 1816 The report should refer to Flockhart D.T. et al. (2014) done Governmen Unravelling the annual cycle in a migratory animal: t breeding-season habitat loss drives population declines of monarch butterflies. Journal of Animal Ecology. This adds some weight to the hypothesis that changes in the distribution or abundance of milkweed might, at least, be part of the reason for the purported decline in the adult populations of Monarch butterflies. However, in order to test this hypothesis, significantly more data are required. UK 2 Bee 84 2518 84 2519 This sentence is unclear corrected Governmen manageme t nt USA 2 ES 7 66 7 67 … and [may] have effects up the food chain ([biRds] and Text deleted and replaced with other content. government bats).

USA 2 ES 8 120 8 129 May be worth mentioning here too that even if pollinator Added:There is potential for differences in government species can move, the plants they depend upon may not - migration rate or ability to lead to a they may simply disappear from the narrow altitudinal or geographical dislocation of pollinator latitudinal band they occupy. populations from populations of their historic food plants, which may present problems for pollination service delivery (established but incomplete) USA 2 ES 8 123 8 123 … that cannot keep up with their [CLIMATE…?] and are This typo has been corrected in a full revision government projected to… of this statement

USA 2 ES 9 116 121 What are "low-end"etc. scenarios? low end scenarios are e.g. the Representative government Concentration Pathway 2.6; http://sedac.ipcc- data.org/ddc/ar5_scenario_process/RCPs.html ; inserted in text now and footnote provided

USA 2 ES 10 149 150 The less strict environmental regulations countries We have removed this part from the ES due to government outside of Europe and US. Reword for clarity. the reviewer comments and the speculative character of the statement USA 2 ES 10 149 10 149 Less strict environmental regulations [in these other We have removed this part from the ES due to government markets] may lead to… the reviewer comments and the speculative character of the statement USA 2 Intro 11 191 11 191 Has there been any research into the effects of irrigation Not that we are aware of government practices?

USA 2 Land use 11 199 11 199 Style consistency: spell out abbreviations (like 'UN FAO') will be addressed at the final editing stage. government the first time they are used in the Chapter/document.

USA 2 Land use 12 220 12 220 …associated [with] a 10% increase in the area… Done. government USA 2 Land use 16 332 Additional clarity to word "evenness" would help the done government readers who are unfamiliar with this concept.

USA 2 Land use 16 344 16 344 I don't believe I've come across any specific statement checking that it appeas in chapter 1 government (yet) indicating that wild/native species of bees (in particular) tend to be solitary (not social) or at best, some are eusocial. This is an important point to make, especially when statements are made throughout the document regarding the responses of or impacts on social species to climate change and other perturbations as being better or worse than that of solitary species. I'm not sure if readers realize the significance of these statements without being of the relative prevalence of these behaviors among different pollinator species/groups. USA 2 Land use 17 379 17 379 Should the reader know what 'modularity' is - it may need see response to comment 194 government to be defined in a sentence before this sentence about reduced modularity. USA 2 Land use 17 381 17 391 Suggest replacing the word 'rewire' with 'adapt' see response to comment 194 government

USA 2 Land use 18 418 18 419 Include scientific names for the 'fruit species' listed here - done government especially those being mention in this chapter/document for the first time…watermelons (Citrullus lanatus), blueberries (Vaccinium spp.), coffee (already mentioned) and atemoya (Annona × atemoya).

USA 2 Land 20 482 20 182 The abbreviation 'IPM' is only defined again on Pg.41 line As it is used the first time here within the government manageme 1146 and actually 'used' on Pg. 113 line 3409. Therefore I chapter, we would keep the definitation of nt suspect it's not necessary to introduce this acronmy here the acronym here and use it in the later unless you change line 41 line 1146 to just use rather occurrance. than define the abbreviation and/or it's used throughout the remainder of this document (although it is indeed normally a good practice to redefine abbreviations and acronyms the first time they are used in a chapter even if they are used in other chapters of the same document). USA 2 Land 21 494 21 494 Period punctuation mark missing after the (Andersson et Done. government manageme al. 2013) citation (and 'et al.' is not italicized - IF that is nt the style this document will eventually use throughout).

USA 2 Land 21 494 21 497 Was the study specifically focused on 'native pollinators' The reviewer was right, it referred to wild government manageme or more likely 'wild pollinators' (which can include a mix pollinators. Corrected. nt of both native and non-native species)?

USA 2 Land 21 498 21 498 Include scientific name for 'strawberry' here. Done, Fragaria × ananassa is included. government manageme nt USA 2 Land 22 527 22 528 There are a couple of specific reference citations missing. References are added. government manageme nt USA 2 Land 22 534 25 619 Serious need for editorial review needed for this section The section was checked accordingly. government manageme in terms of the use of singular and plural words nt throughout. Numerous places were a singular term is used where a plural term is clearly more appropriate.

USA 2 Land 22 552 23 553 …in the case of [an] almond orchard studied by…it was Corrected. government manageme found that [honeybees] predominantly [visit] only one nt cultivar… USA 2 Land 23 555 23 555 If one crop variety providers no or only [a] low amount of Changed to "only low amounts of nectar " acc. government manageme nectar… to comment 311.. nt USA 2 Land 23 564 23 564 Include scientific name (Rubus spp.) after 'raspberry' Done. government manageme nt USA 2 Land 23 582 23 583 Include scientific name (e.g. Brassica napus) after 'oilseed Included. government manageme rape' nt USA 2 Land 24 589 24 589 Include scientific name for 'pigeon pea' (e.g. Cajanus Included. government manageme cajan ?) nt USA 2 Land 26 649 26 649 Tree removal/logging has also been shown to impact Added. government manageme hydrology, changing soil chemistry and plant composition nt etc. USA 2 Land 26 659 26 659 Insert 'invertebrate' or 'insect' in front of 'pollinators' - Added. government manageme the 3 studies referenced only focused on impacts on nt invertebrate (or insect) pollinators.

USA 2 Land 26 672 Additional citations to the facts "intensive fertiliser Additional citation is added (Kleijn et al. 2009). government manageme application can result in decreased deiversity and dover nt of the less competitive wild plant species" would be useful in substantiating these facts.

USA 2 Land 27 682 Do you mean soil or air temperature and CO2 levels? Air, added. government manageme nt USA 2 Land 27 707 26 707 Possible first use of/reference to 'GMO' abbreviation - Done. government manageme may need to be spelled out in full if this is the first nt appearance in the document or chapter.

USA 2 Land 29 753 29 753 oak savannas in what country(ies)? USA, added. government manageme nt USA 2 Land 29 758 29 258 "…and soil compaction by trampling…" (trampling in and Done. government manageme of itself does not enrish soil) nt USA 2 Land 29 Are impacts of infrastructure habitats (i.e. roads/roadside We touched this subject at the mentioned government manageme wildflower plantings, plantings along rights-of-way) on mowing section and concerning the positive nt wild pollinator populations covered anywhere? The effects of field margnins due to increased section 2.2.2.2.2 touches on impacts of roadside mowing flower diversity. practices…

USA 2 Land 30 283 30 283 Cevennes National Park in what country? In France, added. government manageme nt USA 2 Pesticides 39 1083 40 1116 This box refers only to deterministic risk assessment. amended and referred to Chapter 6 for government Refined risk assessment methodology (field studies, further risk assessment details probabilistic ERA) should also be mentioned along with when it is used. Also, the box should reference the section in Chapter 6 that describes ERA in greater detail. USA 2 Pesticides 41 1164 What is meant by "improving the granulatiry of pesticide clarified as local scale data on actual use government usage data globally…"An additional thought of how to improve understanding of risks is to obtain data after the application, as in test results for the compounds of interest that may be determined by environmental testing programs, should a country use them.

USA 2 Pesticides 48 1367 49 1407 Given the limitations of incident data, be careful about reworded government drawing solid conclusions when comparing the HQ and the number of incidents. In addition, how do incident data relate to risk as a function of sublethal response? Incident data clearly reflect mortality, but not clearly sublethal response. USA 2 General Overall Overall General style comment: for consistency - choose to style will be streamlined al across the government separate two authors in a citation either with an '&' or assessment report 'and' and use the same style throughout the document.

USA 2 General Overall Overall As I read this chapter (particular in the first 17 or so pages We have treid to fruther improve this, but in government (things improve after that), I keep getting the urge to many instances statements refer to both insert 'wild/native' in front of the words pollinator and groups of pollinators pollinators (and even plants) in a variety of places - to ensure that the reader clearly understands that the statements being made do not (necessarily) pertain to managed, domesticated livestock honeybees. USA 2 General overall Overall When discussing the impacts of habitat fragmentation on This has not been much studied for pollinators government pollinators - is there any research worth highlighting that of wild plants, but a mention to this for crop examined the effects of distances between habitat plants is now made at the end of section fragments on pollinator dispersal/distribution? I think the 2.2.1.2.2 references to fragment connectivity approach this concept but I'd be interested to see a statement (if the knowledge exists) specific to e.g. habitat fragments separated by more than X distance of non-habitat tend to have lower or X% pollinator exchange rates in comparison to habitat fragments separated by less than X distance... (e.g. lines 396-397 mentions "lower migration between poorly connected habitats"). Do we yet have any specific metrics for what a 'poorly connected habitat fragment' might be for pollinators in terms of width/length of corridors or gaps?

USA 2 Tables Table If the heading included "species richness response", that The legend already presents the measure the government 2.2.1 would help in understanding what response is being table refers to. To make this more clear, we presented. Alternatively, use that term at the start of the have now modified the legend. legend. V.P. Uniyal 2 Land use 14 297 15 299 Context is not clear, Rephrase the sentence This part of the paragraph has been reworded.

V.P. Uniyal 2 Land use 19 457 19 457 explain "within at the most 2400" This has been now clarified. V.P. Uniyal 2 Land use 20 458 20 460 Consistency has not been adopted providing within-text will be harmonized later references, viz, "et al.", "and, &" in the entire document. Adopt uniformity. V.P. Uniyal 2 Land 25 648 26 662 Effect of logging on pollinator richness and abundance More content on the effects of logging on manageme should be elaborated a little more pollinators is added. nt V.P. Uniyal 2 Pesticides 44 1228 44 1228 Archer et al. should come come before Steward et al. amended

V.P. Uniyal 2 Diseases 69 2029 69 2030 Honey bee scientific names should be in italics Done V.P. Uniyal 2 Diseases 71 2094 71 2094 KBV, IAPV acronyms should be mentioned Fixed V.P. Uniyal 2 Diseases 72 2135 72 2135 comma (,) comes after however corrected V.P. Uniyal 2 Diseases 73 2175 74 2177 Complete scientific names of bee species Done V.P. Uniyal 2 Bee 78 2315 78 2315 There should be a gap between "bumble" & "bees"; Style will be uniformized on the final text. manageme uniformity has not been adapted in many places nt throughout the document V.P. Uniyal 2 Bee 78 2329 78 2329 only bumble bee, remove "bee" Sure manageme nt V.P. Uniyal 2 Climate 99 2996 99 2996 Xylocopa should be in italics done (guess it was for line 296) change V.P. Uniyal 2 Diseases 2011,2037 Maintain uniformity in mentioning honeybee/honey bee Will be done in a final step all across the ,2042 etc throughout the document assessment

V.P. Uniyal 2 General General comments Sorry, this comment might be the first line of comment 1000? See there V.P. Uniyal 2 General Well-informative document containing all aspects of Thank you for this statement, very motivating pollinators have been covered with adequate scientific indeed! references. Causes of pollinators decline all over the globe have been pointed out and discussed thoroughly. Appropriate examples conducted through field research on change of pollinators and pollination services have been discussed adequately.

V.P. Uniyal 2 General Incorporating the example of research on alpine Thank you; we have now tried to have more pollinators, status of pollinators in developing countries on alpine pollinators included and also have and issues of electro-magnetic radiation and it's impact tried to include more examples for developing on pollinators, especially on bees will certainly enhance countries, while for the electro-magnetic the value of the document globally. radiation we did not succeed in getting hold of scientifically profound references (suggestions would have been helpful here) V.V. 2 Land use 12 216 12 224 12% increase in urban area may actually lead to reduction Although this statement may be true, we do Belavadi in agricultural area because there are already restrictions not have data to show that this is really on bringing forest area under agriculture in several expected at a global scale. Moreover, most of countries the strong environmental policies refer to developed countries, whereas most of the urban growth is predicted to occur in developing countries, where such policies are many types lacking or not properly enforced. For these reasons, we have decided to not expand on this in this section.

V.V. 2 Land 22 539 22 540 There is a study on planning bloom sequences in coffee Thank you for the nice suggestion, reference Belavadi manageme and cardamom plantations for conserving pollinator is cited. nt populations in the non flowering seasons of the target crops V.V. 2 Land 23 565 23 569 Information on the need for growing pollinizer apple Unfourtunately I could not find a good peer- Belavadi manageme varieties in apple orchards may be added review publication on that. nt V.V. 2 GMO 62 1801 62 1801 reduced larve growth rates should be reduced larval done Belavadi growth rates V.V. 2 Pesticides 63 1820 63 1820 Selen should it be Selenium done Belavadi V.V. 2 Diseases 69 2024 69 2033 Several scientific names are not italicised corrected Belavadi V.V. 2 Diseases 69 2029 69 2029 N. cerana should be N. ceranae Done Belavadi V.V. 2 Diseases 69 2030 69 2030 A. korchenvikovi should be A. koschenvikovi and italicised changed Belavadi V.V. 2 Diseases 74 2197 74 2197 Bacillus thuringiensis to be italicised corrected Belavadi V.V. 2 Diseases 75 2222 76 2242 High density of artificial nests for enhancing solitary bee ref. added Belavadi nesting also often leads to heavy parasitisation

V.V. 2 Diseases 75 2227 75 2227 Mellitobia sp. Should be Melittobia sp. corrected Belavadi V.V. 2 Bee 83 2478 83 2491 The paper by MacIver and Packer (2015) on bee hotels added Belavadi manageme may be quoted here nt V.V. 2 Invasives 89 2666 89 2671 Scientific names of A. mellifera and Vespa velutina to be This must have been changed during Belavadi italicised formatting of whole document, fine in my original text and double checked revised text. Formatting will be checked again before print.

Valerie 2 TOC 3 TOC 4 TOC the subsections agroforestry through weed control Thanks for the hint; we have now corrected Peters management are missing from TOC this Valerie 2 Land 25 620 25 645 The agroforestry section seems underrepresented Willemen 2013 and Alam 2014 has been Peters manageme compared to other sections of land management. I am added. The first part includes now "While a nt aware that there is not much literature on agroforestry considerable number of papers show the management for pollinators and pollination services, positive effects of plant diversity in however agroforestry may perhaps be one of the most agroecosystems for bees and other insect important land management systems for pollinator pollinators (see Nicholls and Altieri, 2013, for conservation, especially in places where the majority of a review), considerably less attention has trees are animal pollinated and pollinators therefore may been paid to understand the effects of rely more on floral resources from trees compared to agroforestry for bees and other pollinators. herbaceous wild flowers (tropics vs. temperate). This Willemen et al. 2013 revealed a high diversity section could be improved if the tree crop section was of Tree-Based Ecosystem Approaches, added, since there are more similar managment issues including trees in croplands, trees in between agroforestry systems and tree crops compared grasslands, forest-based systems, complex to greenhouses and tree crops. The section could also be multi-strata agroforestry and homegardens. improved if the extent and great variation of agroforestry They report positive impacts for food security systems is acknowledged rather than emphasizing coffee and climate change, but a very few number of and cacao. Although most studies come from these these studies evaluated the impacts of these systems, the many other agroforestry systems should be systems for pollinators. acknowledged. Extent area of these systems and list of the many types can be found in Willemen, et al. 2013. Taking Tree-based Ecosystem Approaches to Scale: Evidence of drivers and impacts on food security, climate change resilience and carbon sequestration. Ecoagriculture Discussion Paper No. 11. Washington, DC: EcoAgriculture Partners. Management for pollinators and pollination services in agroforests outside of the tropics could also be cited- for example in Canada, Alam et al. (2014) estimated the value of pollinators in one agroforestry system- tree based intercropping- and found that yield and profit could be maximized with the presence of a 30 % trees and shrubs cover in agricultural Valerie 2 Land 33 895 35 937 This section on tree crops would fit better within the Subsection on horticulture systems is mowed Peters manageme agroforestry section. The agroforestry section could be to the "Contrasting forms of agricultural nt called 'Agroforestry and tree crops'. Many of the same management systems" section, separated ecological principles of land management are similar for from greenhouses. these similarly structured systems.

Valerie 2 Land 37 1013 39 1062 Some paragraphs of the conclusions have lines followed It was finaly generaly decided not to use these Peters manageme by the clarification of whether the statement is well- terms in the main chapter text through the nt established or established but incomplete, etc. while whole assessment, only in the SPM and ES. other paragraphs do not. This should be consistent Therefore these terms were deleted from the throughout conclusions. conclusions. Richard General General 0 0 0 0 This is an excellent SOD. Congratulations to the author Thank you very much! Corlett team. Thomas General General Congratulations to everyone involved on this impressive Thanks for your very encouraging statement; Brooks piece of work; the IPBES pollination assessment is shaping we have maintained these citations also in the up to be a really valuable contribution. I am now final version. comfortable that the assessment builds on and reflects in appropriate ways the various contributions from IUCN on the subject of pollination, notably a) the IUCN SSC Red List of Threatened Species http://www.iucnredlist.org and b) the IUCN CEM/SSC Worldwide Integrated Assessment of the Impact of Systemic Pesticides on Biodiversity and Ecosystems http://link.springer.com/journal/11356/22/1/page/1, and citation to the specific papers therein. It is very important that these citations are retained through to the final publication of the IPBES pollination assessment, reflecting IPBES's mandate to build from existing work. I also make a few suggestions and comments on other points I noticed as appropriate.

USA General General All chapter headings should be placed at the beginning of With respect to your statement on chapter 2, government Comment each heading. For example, Chapter 1, Background, 1.1 the 2.2.1. indicates the tracability for the ES- should be at the start of line 4. For example, Chapter 2, statment within the overall chapter text (so Line 3 page 5 should have 2.2.1 at the start. the statment here is derived from information provided in section 2.2.1) USA General General As with many group drafted documents, this draft is in Will be done in a final step all across the government Comment need of a good editorial review, for both grammar and assessment style consistencies. In particular, our reviewers have noted many scientific names are lacking, the need for proper use of italics for scientific names and et al., consistent serial commas and citation notations, and section / heading styles.

USA General General There are sections of the document which speak directly Thanks for this, we tried or best not to be government Comment about trying to convince policy makers of something, or policy prescriptive within chapter 2 (but also to take some action. Our government scientists do not we are not chapter 4) advocate, but strive to provide unbiased science without directed outcomes. Some more specific comments are made in Chapter 4. USA General General I was impressed with the scope & depth of the Thank you (at least on behalf of chapter 2) government Comment assessment. Although I devoted most of my time to the Preface and the Summary for Policy Makers, I did look at all chapters and I believe that each provides a very useful global scale synthesis. I think that the Assessment will be very useful in framing discussions going forward.

Sven Pesticides 41 1144 41 1144 Give the position in the document where to find the amended Hanoteaux Africa Box (i.e. page 43 of this chapter) Reviewer ID Ch From From To To Line Comment How comment was addressed Page Line Page (end) (start) (start) (end) USA Gener All chapter headings should be placed at the beginning of each This will be fixed by the editing team. government al heading. For example, Chapter 1, Background, 1.1 should be at the Com start of line 4. For example, Chapter 2, Line 3 page 5 should have ment 2.2.1 at the start.

USA Gener As with many group drafted documents, this draft is in need of a This will be fixed by the editing team. government al good editorial review, for both grammar and style consistencies. In Com particular, our reviewers have noted many scientific names are ment lacking, the need for proper use of italics for scientific names and et al ., consistent serial commas and citation notations, and section / heading styles.

USA Gener There are sections of the document which speak directly about In revising our chapter, we checked each government al trying to convince policy makers of something, or to take some section to ensure the most balanced Com action. Our government scientists do not advocate, but strive to view we could achieve. ment provide unbiased science without directed outcomes. Some more specific comments are made in Chapter 4.

USA Gener I was impressed with the scope & depth of the assessment. We thank the Reviewer for her/his government al Although I devoted most of my time to the Preface and the positive apraisal of our chapter. Com Summary for Policy Makers, I did look at all chapters and I believe ment that each provides a very useful global scale synthesis. I think that the Assessment will be very useful in framing discussions going forward. Richard Corlett Gener 0 0 0 0 This is an excellent SOD. Congratulations to the author team. We thank the Reviewer for his positive al apraisal of our chapter. Thomas Brooks Gener Congratulations to everyone involved on this impressive piece of We thank the Reviewer for his positive al work; the IPBES pollination assessment is shaping up to be a really apraisal of our chapter. valuable contribution. I am now comfortable that the assessment builds on and reflects in appropriate ways the various contributions from IUCN on the subject of pollination, notably a) the IUCN SSC Red List of Threatened Species http://www.iucnredlist.org and b) the IUCN CEM/SSC Worldwide Integrated Assessment of the Impact of Systemic Pesticides on Biodiversity and Ecosystems http://link.springer.com/journal/11356/22/1/page/1, and citation to the specific papers therein. It is very important that these citations are retained through to the final publication of the IPBES pollination assessment, reflecting IPBES's mandate to build from existing work. I also make a few suggestions and comments on other points I noticed as appropriate.

Madeleine 3 2 1 76 2561 excellent. No comments We thank the Reviewer for her positive Chagnon apraisal of our chapter. Yi Huang 3 2 The title is too long - should be a sample version like: The status and We agree. Changed to "The status and trends in pollinators,and pollination services" trends in pollinators, their functions and Yi Huang 3 4 1 7 108 As most of the statements are (established but incomplete), it is We have now ensured consistency in difficult to make any further suggestions. However, from the style. current style of writing, the statements of each paraph (bolded text) are not in same style. As this is the status and trends chapter, it should in a style of narrative description of the status or trends. Jan Axmacher 3 4 1 7 108 Overall, this section is very strongly bee-focused. It would be great We now mention these other groups of to see a more inclusive approach - at least very clearly mentioning pollinators in the Executive Summary. and elaborating the knowledge gaps existing in relation to e.g. specific highly species-rich, but poorly studied groups (moths, generally nocturnal pollinators, ...) and/or prevailing geographic biases in this section already. While this is done very effectively in several instances within the subsequent text, it is in my view missing here.

Zhao Zhiping 3 4 2 4 4 The speed of habitat lose of pollinators is very high in rual-urban This comment is too specific for the region due to fast urbanlization in the easternChina. executive summary. Furthermore, no David Cooper 3 4 2 4 3 Does this statement refer to agricultural/human-dominated We have now clarified this in the landscapes, natural landscapes, or both? What is the evidence for paragraph following the bold statement. the "particualry in NW Europe and N America).

Arnon Dag 3 4 2 4 4 Why you refer only to wild pollinators ? In the introduction its Although its is true that we handle written that this chapter will handle also managed pollinators. managed pollinators, wild pollinators are the ones that are declining. Alejandro Parra- 3 4 2 4 3 The definition of diversity involves abundance and richness (that We have clarified this in the following Hinojosa could be related to species occurrence). Review the way are sentence, changing "diversity" to expressed together those concepts "species richness", where appropriate. Chinese 3 4 3 4 3 At the end of the sentence, the reviewer suggests to add another W reworded the first bolded sentence government statement actually listed from line 11 to 12, 'trends are mainly to make implicit that we only have data unknown for other regions or continents, especially in developing for these trends in NW Europe and N countries mainly because of a lack of baseline datasets and America. monitoring schemes.' Thomas Steeger 3 4 5 4 7 The sentence is a little confusing "found to decline strongy with This sentence was now rewritten to distance from the field margin". Do you mean agricultural fields clarify its meaning. where there is no vegetative buffer surrounding the field? Jari Niemelä 3 4 5 4 7 it is stated that 'The local abundance and diversity of wild bees have This has now been clarified as to imply been found to decline strongly with distance from field margins and that pollinators spill from habitats remnants of natural and semi-natural habitat at scales of a few fragments that act as pollinator sources. hundred meters (well established).' Does this mean that wild bees prefer edge habitat? Please clarify.

David Cooper 3 4 5 4 7 "local abundance …..decline.." This statement seems out of palce. The paragraph deals with both scales The rest of the apra deals with changes in whole regions over time. and therefore we feel this is not out of place. This is now clarified. UK Government 3 4 7 4 8 The reference to "highly urbanized countries" implies that it is Done. urbanisation itself which is the major driver of pollinator loss. That's not the case, agricultural intensification is the main factor, it accounts for a much greater area of the land in most countries. Perhaps you mean "highly industrialized"?

Thomas Steeger 3 4 7 4 9 Are these declines a possible artifiact of the likely improved record The studies on which these findings are keeping in these areas, i.e., that declines may be more widespread based controlled for sampling effort. or our ability to interpret them limited due to inadequate baseline However, it is true that we are limited information. by data availability in the other regions, Jeff Ollerton 3 4 7 4 8 The reference to "highly urbanized countries" implies that it is Yes we mean "highly industrialised". urbanisation itself which is the major driver of pollinator loss. This is the term that is now used. That's not the case, agricultural intensification is the main factor, it accounts for a much greater area of the land in most countries. Perhaps you mean "highly industrialized"?

Simon Potts 3 4 9 4 12 Update in light of Kerr et al. 2015 Science which was just published In the revised ES, we now distiguish between declines in bee populations, bee diversity, and shrinkage of bumble- bee pollination ranges, which is what is Thomas Steeger 3 4 11 4 11 consider ". . .are mainly unknown for other regions or continents in Done. large part because of a lack . . ." Jari Niemelä 3 4 19 4 19 'well-connected plant-pollinator networks' shoud be briefly Changed to "Systems with many plant explained pollinator links…". Simon Potts 3 4 24 4 26 This strongly overlaps with Ch 2 and is not asked for in the chapter Changed the sentence to being about scoping document trends, which is the main goal of Chapter 3 and what distinguishes it from German 3 4 28 4 28 There is a Task Force on Indigenous and Local Knowledge Systems in Done. Government IPBES. Here, the term 'traditional knowledge' is used. Please provide clarification on the difference between the two terms.

Arnon Dag 3 4 28 4 33 Your mixing terms here if you are dealing with managed bees, so It is possible to manage a species living can no longer refer to them as wild pollinators, The right term in the wild, so the mixing of terms is should be managed pollinators. correct. Thomas Steeger 3 4 29 4 33 It unclear how acclerrated deforestation is assoicated with a This has now been rewritten for the decrease in the transfer of knowledge to younger generations. sake of clarity. Consider: "Owing to a decrease in the transfer to younger generations of traditional knowledge on sustaining the environment, deforestation has acclerrated and traditional bee (e.g. , stingless and wild honeybee) management practices in the Americas, Asia and Africa are in deline."

Simon Potts 3 4 29 4 29 Is deforestation the only driver of knowledge loss? Is this a proven Changed to "Associated to accelerated link or just a correlative association for which a another changes in social systems and cultural unmeasured factor could be driving both deforestation and values, and loss of habitats, there has knowledge loss? been a decrease in transfer of Chinese 3 4 65 4 65 There have been increasing import of commercial Bumble This needs to be added into the main government pollinators for greenhouses in China. However, few studies were chapter, to help explain why this is done to evaluate ecological impacts by these alien Bumble Established but incomplete and not WE populations. (Well established). Seems terrestris is indigenous to China, but perhaps not Cynthia Scott- 3 5 35 5 36 The statistics I have seen on numbers of bee colonies in Canada and This is based on FAO data as it is stated Dupree US clearly indicate increases. What is the well established in this paragraph. Perhaps, the increases information that shows otherwise. observed by the Reviewer are on a shorter time scale, so we have now Arnon Dag 3 5 35 5 55 This paragraph give you the feeling that the honeybee are the worst We have revised the whole chapter and enemy for pollination worldwide, it should be written in more we firmly believe it provides a balanced balanced way, especially it crucial to mention that most of the view on the importance for crop commercial crop pollination is made by those bees. Another pollination of both honey bees and wild important point- after the varroa entered , there was a collapse and bees. Regarding the impact of Varroa honey bee wild colonies populations which created shortage in on crop pollination, we believe this issue pollinators in many places should be addressed in other chapters in the assessment, particularly in Chapter 2. Thomas Steeger 3 5 36 5 39 This sentence implies that declines in managed bee colonies was Yes, evidence shows that the decline associated with the dissolution of the Soviet bloc. Is this actually was associated with the sociecomic and the case or might have been an artifact of the rapid spread of political changes brought about by the varroa and the diseases it vectors? disolution of the Soviet Block.

David Aston 3 5 36 Reference for FSO data needs to be inserted Full reference is given in the main text. Simon Potts 3 5 37 5 37 Small but important technical point. "last five decades" was correct Footnotes added to clarify the time when the paper was published (i.e. 1961-2007) however, when the scale encompasses by the three trends IPBES report is published the last five decades will be 1966-2016 so mentioned by the Reviewer. need a small clarification for this in the 3 times it is mentioned in the executive summary and throughout main text. Maybe just add a footnote?

Thomas Steeger 3 5 44 5 44 What is meant by "shifts"? Do you mean changes in the number It is both abundance and distribution. and distribution of colonies? We have now clarified this. Thomas Steeger 3 5 47 5 47 capitalize "Western" Done. Cynthia Scott- 3 5 47 5 47 Lead should be "led" Done. Dupree USA 3 5 48 5 48 …spillover of pathogens AND PARASITES? The varroa mite We added "and parasites". government mentioned on line 49 is a parasite and pathogen vector. And I believe there is substantial evidence for spillover of parasites as well as the pathogens they are associated with/vectoring.

Aparna 3 5 48 5 49 Pls give the scientific name for varroa mite. The scientific name is provided. USA 3 5 49 5 49 Insert scientific name (Varroa destructor ) for varroa mite. Done. Cynthia Scott- 3 5 50 5 50 difficult/costly should be "difficult and costly" Done. Dupree Thomas Steeger 3 5 51 5 52 insert (Varroa destructor ) after varroa mite Done. Thomas Steeger 3 5 51 5 52 the publication should be consistent on its use of capitalization for We have checked for these disease/viral names. Other chapters have used Deformed Wing inconsistencies within the chapter, but Virus, Deformed wing virus or simply DWV. An effort should be in any even this type of incosistencies made to use a common format. among chapters will be fixed by the editing team. Simon Potts 3 5 54 5 54 "affects" - state in what way The whole sentence has now been clarified, as there is insufficient evidence to be conclusive about the impact of Thomas Steeger 3 5 57 5 61 be consistent on terminology; use either bumblebee or bumble bee, Agreed, bumble bee is two words. but not both. Cynthia Scott- 3 5 60 5 60 You have "bumble bees" here but previous to this you have used Done. Dupree Bumblebee. Please be consistent within and between chapters. Honeybee is one word so far in Ch 3 - be consistent there as well.

Cynthia Scott- 3 5 63 5 63 Bombus should be "B." Done. Dupree Barbara 3 6 69 6 72 this seems to directly contradict Gallai et al and many These figures are derived from Aizen et Gemmill-Herren otherstatements within this document; where is this figure derived? al (2009), and take into account that pollinator dependency varies among Barbara 3 6 78 6 80 I am not sure it is correct to single out these areas, we are This statement refers to volume Gemmill-Herren increasingly understandting how much nutrition in many other production not to nutritional content. areas of the world depend on for example agroforesty species and This is now clarified. non timber forest products (see Dietary quality and tree cover in Africa Amy Ickowitz *, Bronwen Powell, Mohammad A. Salim, Terry C.H. Sunderland, Global Environmental Change Volume 24, January 2014, Pages 287–294- most of which I think are likely very dependent on pollinators) Cynthia Scott- 3 6 82 6 82 In Canada rapeseed is called "canola" - I think you should use the Canola is a type of rapeseed. Thus, Dupree word here and indicate it is another word for rapeseed. rapeseed represent a more inclusive category. Rapeseed is also the category used in the FAO dataset, so we used that term to remain consistent with that dataset. Barbara 3 6 85 6 86 what does this mean, this does not scale up globally? Mmore This has now been clarified. Gemmill-Herren precision is needed, and also explanation- if not why not?

UK Government 3 6 86 6 87 "Pollinator-dependent crops" is potentially confusing (cross Pollinator decline is now defined in the reference to UK Government comment on SPM page 2, lines 27-30). Exec Summary, on first use. Through the Also this paragraph starts by talking about local pollinator declines, chapter, we have now clarified which and then goes on to talk about reduction in diversity. If the type of pollinator decline is being evidence is about diversity (at what scale?) then the first sentence referred to. We have also separated out should be about diversity. As an aside, the term 'pollinator decline' the diversity and abundance appears throughout the document and means different things in components when refering to decline in different places. Also, the language in this part of the report reads this paragraph. like a search for evidence to back up campaigns about pollinator declines: The null hypothesis should be 'no change', with evidence used to reject this, as appropriate.

Simon Potts 3 6 86 6 87 This sentence should be qualified with established but incomplete We changed "Yield of most" to "Yield of many", and then we added the Arnon Dag 3 6 86 6 87 This statement is not widely accepted by people working on crop We disagree. Several papers have pollination - In most of the crops the diversity of wild pollinators shown that crop yield is positively does not say anything on the yield related to pollinator diversity. Garibaldi et al. (2013) provides evidence that this Barbara 3 6 89 6 90 ? But there has been a general deceleration in yield growth? And Dealt with above. Specifically, we make Gemmill-Herren this seems contradicted by what you say in lines 98-100 a distinction between the results at the local and global scales. The paragraph has now been rewritten to improve David Cooper 3 6 90 6 92 If this is well established, the "it has been estianted that" part can Agreed , removed. be dropped. Arnon Dag 3 6 91 6 91 Where you take this statement from ?, there are enormous number Our statement is based on the of publications, for different crops, say the opposite comprehensive meta-analysis of data from over 41 crops in 600 sites in the Simon Potts 3 6 92 6 92 Change "options" to "providers" This sentence has now been removed because it was not about a trend or David Cooper 3 6 92 6 94 "Therfore…" incomplete argument. Previous statement would Sentence removed (see above) suggest wild better, case for also needing managed has not been made. Simon Potts 3 6 96 6 97 Over what time period is this referring? The period, 1961-2008, is now included Richard Corlett 3 7 102 7 108 I did not understand this until I had read the main text. It needs This sentence has been reworded. rewording. Barbara 3 7 102 7 108 I really don't buy this hypothesis, and think it should not be We have changed the sentence to "The Gemmill-Herren presented without documentation. There has been such an high market value of crops… " and we expansion in the crop area of horticultural crops not because took out the implication that the farmers are frustrated at their yields and decided the only way they expansion is owing to reduced fruit set. can produce more is to expand production on to new land; but because, largely, horticultural crops have become a lucrative export market in many devleoping countries, where they did not exist before. The cause was not a loss of production due to pollinators, as implied. You do mention the expansion of global agriculture, but almost as an aside, not a major force.

Thomas Steeger 3 7 107 7 107 consider deleting "areal" This sentence has been removed. Cynthia Scott- 3 7 107 7 107 Areal should be "area" This sentence has been removed. Dupree Arnon Dag 3 27 749 27 749 This list in (is ?) not exhaustive'. I agree. I suggest to add a table This comment is pertinent for chapter 1. with the names of the different managed pollinators, their family, which crop(s) they were tested for and references - one such table will be more helpful than few pages of text Jean-Pierre 3 29 795 It has to be alluded that synergistic effects between neonicotinoids This comment is pertinent for chapter 2. Sarthou (insecticides) and diseases and parasites of bees are nowadays well documented (see the EASAC's recent report: EASAC, 2015. Ecosystem services, agriculture and neonicotinoids. EASAC Policy report 26 (70pp). www.easac).

Diane Castle 3 34 1373 34 1057 Comment The quote "6-8% of total production " is inconisistent The figure of 6-8% of total production is with figure in Chapter SPM pg 6 line 158. Which is correct? correct considering the partial dependence on pollinators of most Thomas Steeger 3 45 1342 45 1342 delete second "over time" Done. Thomas Steeger 3 45 1370 45 1371 sentence is a little confusing; consider ". . .the question that follows Modfied as suggested. is not how dependent are individual crops, but rather how dependent is global agriculture on animal pollination." Andony 3 46 1130 46 1149 Neumayer (2007) has an important critique of Nordhaus (and Stern, This seems to be a comment for chapter Melathopoulos to whom Nordhaus is responding) by pointing out that the focus on 4. discounting rates misses the whole issue that future degradation may result in the perminant loss of natural capital. As Nordhaus points out, even in Stern's worst scenario for climate change, human welfare still expands (but does not expand optimally). Neumayer points out that what Nordhaus and Stern fail to notice is that discounting (no matter what the rate) does not register perminant loss. With respect to pollinators, this may suggest that lowering the discount rate to reflect the importance of pollinator conservation for future generations may miss the point if it leads to high levels of extinction. According to Neumayer, in such cases it may be better to argue on the grounds of preserving natural capital before irreversable loss takes place (ie strong sustainability). This arguement was adapted to the specific case of pollination by Olschewski and Klein (2011) ||| Neumayer, E., 2007. A missed opportunity: The Stern Review on climate change fails to tackle the issue of non-substitutable loss of natural capital. Global Environmental Change 17, 297-301. | Olschewski, R., Klein, A., 2011. Ecosystem services between sustainability and efficiency. Sustainability: Science, Practice & Policy 7, 69.

Andony 3 46 1150 47 1169 I am glad thereport foreground the problem of datasets. But at This seems to be a comment for chapter Melathopoulos some point there should be an assessment of the most pressing 4. data needs. I certainly think there is a tremendous problem associated with some of the simplest problems (e.g., what crops managed pollinators are allocated to on a national scale). A statement (a table would be even better) outlining the most problematic type of datasets would be helpful. Andony 3 46 1170 47 1180 I am very sympathetic to the point that valuations may not be This seems to be a comment for chapter Melathopoulos meaninful without accounting for the variation in pollinator 4. visitation on crops across space and time. Like the report, I also think part of the solution is long-term monitoring. But it would be helpful if the report could provide insight into how to prioritize such monitoring. Clearly, a government could take up "monitoring" but without a clear focus, resources could be squandered. I'd like to see the authors expand (in 2-3 sentences) what issues need to be considered in our approach to monitoring. To make my point clear, let me provide an example. It strikes me that crops that currently have a massive influence on valuations (e.g., oilseeds) that also lack pollination markets (i.e. where pollinator visitation is not even coarsely regulated as an input by farmers) may not be impacted by pollinator declines because pollinator populations do not exist. Perhaps, in such a case, a pilot study should be conducted to see how dependent these crops are on pollinators in practice . If pollinators largely do not play a role in current yield (and I suspect for soybeans they are not) then a monitoring program could excludes these crops in order to focus resources elsewhere. My point here is not that the report adopt my suggestion, but rather that it advance some thoughts on the priorities for monitoring might be set.

Simon Potts 3 46 1334 46 1339 Please convert to full sentence The bullet points are now removed. However, we decided to keep a paragraph outlining the content of each Cynthia Scott- 3 46 1334 46 1344 Delete section The bulleted points are now deleted. Dupree Zhao Zhiping 3 46 51 There should be a list of crops that are vulnerable to pollinators This seems to be a comment for chapter reduction. 1. Mike Garratt 3 46 56 This section would benefit from a table giving examples of This Table has now been included (Table pollinator dependent crop and particularly those that have 3.X) increased significantly over recent decades. There are only a few examples of these crop within the text. Alternatively including such a table in Chapter 1 to which reference could be made.

Arnon Dag 3 47 1358 47 1360 This is for seed production (in the seed companies) not commercial This is now clarified. production of seed for oil or confection Arnon Dag 3 47 1361 47 1361 What is 'outcrossing crop' do you mean self incompatible crop ? Yes, all self-compatible crops are outcrossing, but not all outcrossing Arnon Dag 3 47 1366 47 1366 Maybe the most pronounced example for parthenocarpic crop that This example is now provided, and a depend on insect pollination is seedless water melon reference (Walters 2005) included.

Arnon Dag 3 47 1379 47 1379 You can cite here; Delaplane, K.S., Dag, A., Danka, R.G., Freitas, This reference has now been cited. B.M., Garibaldi, L.A., Goodwin, R.M. and Hormaza, J.I. (2013) Standart methods for pollination research with Apis mellifera. J. Apic. Res. 52: 1-28. Which have a chapter on the effect of pollination on fruit quality German 3 47 1384 47 1388 It does not seem an easy task to expand our global agricultural area We cannot expand this section to keep Government by 30-40% to compensate for production deficits caused by balanced with the other sections of the poillinator loss, and not only environmentally. Would this at all be chapter and to keep speculation at a possible, considering the vast amount of agriculural land necessary minimum. However, we change "could for such a task, also considering conflicts of interest (e.g. bio- be" by " would need to be" and added energy)? Some thoughts on this would be welcome at this point. "as well as pose other land-use Furthermore, the statement does not seem to be completely in line conflicts" . We think that the meaning with chapter 3.7.3, which lists several reasons why global of this paragraph is clearer and more agriculture has become more pollinator-dependent. complete. Also, we checked section 3.7.3 and we could not detect the inconsistency pointed out by the UK Government 3 48 1395 48 1410 The discussion in this section about the greater dependence on On average, pollinator dependency of animal pollinators in the developing world seems to be contradicted agriculture has increased more in the by Figure 3.9 where large areas of the developing world in Africa the Developing tha Developed work, and South America are less dependent on pollinators than, for but exceptions like Canada are pointed instance, Canada and parts of Europe. out.

Thomas Steeger 3 48 1395 48 1395 consider ". . .has been steeper in developing countries within Africa, Modified as suggested. Asia and Latin America than in developed countries in North America, Europe and Australa/New Zealand".

Jeff Ollerton 3 48 1395 48 1410 The discussion in this section about the greater dependence on On average, pollinator dependency of animal pollinators in the developing world seems to be contradicted agriculture has increased more in the by Figure 3.9 where large areas of the devleoping world in Africa the Developing tha Developed work, and South America are less dependent on pollinators than, for but exceptions like Canada are pointed instance, Canada and parts of Europe. out.

Arnon Dag 3 48 1395 48 1400 Some of this paragraph is repetition on paragraph that appear This paragraph expands on one of the earlier in that chapter key messages portrayed in the Executive Summary and thus is not a repetition. Jens Dauber 3 48 1402 48 1404 There are several studies, some of the quoted in the present report, We fully agree with the Reviewer´s which show that canola does benefit from pollination (higher seed comment and recognized that our set, better timing in seed ripening). It is however also widely report is, for most issues, based on acknowledged, that we still know little about the "dependency" of fragmentary information subjected to canola on insect pollination. This dependency is furthermore several sources of uncertainty. dependend on the canola variety cultivated. Thus, an increase in the However, it is also true that continental acreage of canola cultivated may not be a direct indicator of and global patterns emerge when these increasing pollination dependency. At least it is not entirely clear, pieces of information are collated. whether a lack of insect pollination would have a notable economic impact. I don't think that this statement made here is wrong but it may require some more careful consideration of the interpretation of "dependency" of a crop on animal pollination. The sources of uncertainty are discussed in the following section. Still, I am not convinced that the uncertainty about the degree of pollination dependency truly plays a minor role for the assessments made.

Thomas Steeger 3 48 1405 48 1405 delete "areal" Deleted. Anders Nielsen 3 48 1405 48 1410 Too long sentense, rewrite This sentence has now been splitted in Thomas Steeger 3 48 1406 48 1406 consider replacing "Developed World" with "developed countries" This is the categorization used in the FAO dataset where these data came Anders Nielsen 3 48 1412 48 1413 … their production can form a direkt link between human well- We beleive that this expression is being and animal pollination(… correct. Thomas Steeger 3 48 1415 48 1415 consider replacing "Developing World" with "underdeveloped We beleive that this categorization is countries" widely accepted and it is featured in the Andony 3 49 1233 49 1234 It is very unclear to the reader what these scenarios mean in the This seems to be a comment for chapter Melathopoulos actual context of pollination services, since it reads in the text as 4. thought they parallel those used elsewhere (e.g., IPCC). The reader should have some idea of the pollinator-specific dimensions of BAMBU mean and the key pollinator-specific parameters being adjusted among the scenarios be explained (e.g., farm prices for pollinator-dependent crops and the effect on pollinator dependency under scenarios of pollinator decline - Gallai 2009 adjusting D relative to pollinator densities).

German 3 49 1427 49 1445 The disquisition on 'uncertainty' is welcome. Disquisition on 'uncertainty' is provided Government n Chapter 6 and annexed documents.. Mike Garratt 3 49 1433 49 1445 There are published examples which can be included here which McGregor's book (1976), even perhaps demonstrate the variation in dependence on pollinators of different somewhagt outdated, has now been varieties of crop including oilseed and apples added as a refence, as it is explicitlty includes notes on variation in breeding systems and pollinator dependencies for Andony 3 50 1279 51 1318 I thought this section was well written and its summary in Table 6 is The section mentioned by the Reviewer Melathopoulos excellent. does not seem to correspond to ourr Cynthia Scott- 3 51 1461 51 1470 Delete section The bullet points are now removed. Dupree However, we decided to keep a paragraph outlining the content of each Arnon Dag 3 51 1463 51 1463 You mentioned this section 'efficiency…honeybee', but I can't find The efficcacy of honeybees vs. wilds this chapter bees is discussed in this section (see mention of the results by Garibaldi et al. Arnon Dag 3 51 1465 51 1465 You mentioned this section 'Impact of..on crop yield', but I can't This section reviews trends in pollination find this chapter deficit and crop yield. Arnon Dag 3 51 1469 51 1470 Why you need to repeat it ?, this topic was already cover earlier in The bullet points are now removed. this chapter However, we decided to keep a paragraph outlining the content of each Anders Nielsen 3 51 1469 51 1469 … increased over space… strange wording Changed to "along spatial disturbance gradients space and over time". Arnon Dag 3 51 1472 53 1516 This chapter need to be re written and to be focus on crop Spatial and temporal trends in pollination deficit and not on why wild pollinators are important pollination deficits and declines in crop (which was intensively discussed earlier) yield are mostly related to changes in the abundance/diversity of wild bees. This is why one can not present trends in crop yield independently of changes in pollinator faunas. This crop-bee Zhao Zhiping 3 51 56 In China,agricultural yields dependent mainly on weather This is an interesting observation. condition.Rainfall and cold weather impact pollinators' However, I could not find a reference to activities,such as plum rains which lengthen for two weeks this year. cite. Andony 3 52 1359 53 1362 Actually there are quite a few critiques of ecosystem services that This seems to be a comment for chapter Melathopoulos do not rely on objections that ecosystem services consititute 4. commodity formation. Sagoff (2011), for example, uses a pollination example to argue that ecosystem services fail to account for the actual interactions that take place among land managers (a similar argument is advanced by Ghazoul at various points against a number of advocates of pollination ecosystem service valuation). There is also the argument that ecosystem services bend the definition of commodity to the point of being meaningless (eg Norton and Noonan 2007). There is also the compelling argument by Laurans et al. that there is little actual evidence that ecosystem service valuation has translated into significant investment in conservation. I don't think the authors need to be expansive here, but I do think the Sagoff/Ghazoul perspective (which I personally have disagreements with) ought to be included, if for no other reason that it has generated a visible and contended debate over the last decade. ||| Laurans, Y., Rankovic, A., Billé, R., Pirard, R., Mermet, L., 2013. Use of ecosystem services economic valuation for decision making: Questioning a literature blindspot. Journal of Environmental Management 119, 208-219. ||| Sagoff, M., 2011. The quantification and valuation of ecosystem services. Ecological Economics 70, 497-502. ||| Norton, B.G., Noonan, D., 2007. Ecology and valuation: big changes needed. Ecological Economics 63, 664-675. ||| Ghazoul, J., 2007. Recognising the complexities of ecosystem management and the ecosystem service concept. Gaia- Ecological Perspectives for Science and Society 16, 215-221.

David Aston 3 52 1492 Which nation? The US has been mentioned in the previous sentence, so it will be redundant to mention the US again. Barbara 3 52 1505 53 1516 the actual abstract of this study, now in submission to Science, Actually, what is mentioned here is Gemmill-Herren stresses much more the effects of small field size; I think it would be based on an expanded abtsract of the best to get the actual abstract from Lucas to be able to refer more work submitted to Science and based on accurately to the final findings. It does make an important link to a talk with L. Garibaldi. We did change smallholder agriculture. the word field by holding. Mike Garratt 3 52 1506 53 1509 There are already published examples of crops experiencing a Yes, many of these references are pollination deficit particularly in top and soft fruit which could be covered in the meta-analisys by included here as well as reference to an upcoming study. Garibaldi etal. (2013), which is discussed here. Rodolfo Jaffe 3 53 1513 53 1516 I suggest to briefly discuss here the results of a recent meta-analysis This citation is now included , but also Ribbi performed by Kleijn et al. (2015), who show that the delivery of Garibaldi's latest analysis in press J. pollination services is restricted to a small number of common Applied ecol showing that species species, across crops, years and biogeographical regions. richness and abundance of singl efficient Furthermore, they find that dominant crop pollinators persist pollinator species have additive effects under agricultural expansion and many are easily enhanced by on crop production. simple conservation measures, contrary to rare and threatened bee species. Conserving the biological diversity of bees therefore requires more than just ecosystem-service- based arguments. Kleijn D, Winfree R, Bartomeus I, et al (2015) Delivery of crop pollination services is an insufficient argument for wild pollinator conservation. Nat Commun 6: 7414.

Thomas Steeger 3 53 1514 53 1515 ". . .are likely common, and (ii) . . .of many crops can likely be better Modified as suggested. ensured . . .". These recommendation in verbiage are because this information is being extrapolated.

Anders Nielsen 3 53 1521 53 1523 Increasing distance from field edges into crop fields has been shown References are now included. to reduce numbers of flower visitas and the number of visiting species (add references) Sjirk Geerts 3 53 1527 53 1534 These sentences are a duplication of L387-392 on page 15 Yes. However, one Reviewer in a previous revision wanted this example here as this example deals with a crop. Perhaps, it could be deleted in the other David Cooper 3 53 1528 53 1534 this section seems (largely) redundant Yes. However, one Reviewer in a previous revision wanted this example here as this example deals with a crop. Perhaps, it could be deleted in the other Thomas Steeger 3 53 1534 53 1534 what doubled-- the variability? Yes, varibility. This is now clarified. Thomas Steeger 3 53 1538 53 1538 presumably this is true for crops that are pollinator dependent but This is a general principle that should not so for wind pollinated crops apply to both pollinator-dependent and Thomas Steeger 3 54 1560 54 1561 ". . .in the Patagonia region of South America . .." Changed as suggested. Cynthia Scott- 3 54 1562 54 1562 Should read "Also because the honey bee, A. mellifera, …." Changed as suggested. Dupree Rodolfo Jaffe 3 54 1568 54 1568 Pollinator introductions should be discouraged 'in places where Changed as suggested. Ribbi they are not native and have not been introduced in the past'. I believe pollinator introductions in places already containing feral populations of introduced pollinators (like honeybees), should not be discouraged if the boost crop yields.

Thomas Steeger 3 55 1570 55 1570 ". . .the depicted means (± 1 std error) . . ." Changed as suggested. Pradeep Mehta 3 60 1705 60 1705 Year 2011 should be written without parentheses () This will be fixed by the editing team. Pradeep Mehta 3 61 1754 61 1754 Year should be written without parentheses () This will be fixed by the editing team. Pradeep Mehta 3 63 1893 63 1893 Year should be written without parentheses () This will be fixed by the editing team. Pradeep Mehta 3 64 1902 64 1902 Year should be written without parentheses () This will be fixed by the editing team. Pradeep Mehta 3 64 1904 64 1904 Year should be written without parentheses () This will be fixed by the editing team. Nicolas Cesard 3 64 1911 1914 REFERENCE UPDATED This will be fixed by the editing team. Doherty, J., K. Tumarae-Teka. 2015. Tūhoe Tuawhenua (Māori, New Zealand) knowledge of pollination and pollinators associated with food production. In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. Roué (eds.). Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1-5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp. 27-37. Online : http://www.unesco.org/new/fileadmin/MULTIMEDIA/HQ/SC/pdf/IP BES_Pollination-Pollinators_Panama_Workshop.pdf

Pradeep Mehta 3 64 1926 64 1926 Year should be written without parentheses () This will be fixed by the editing team. Pradeep Mehta 3 64 1926 64 1947 Year should be written without parentheses () This will be fixed by the editing team. Pradeep Mehta 3 65 1956 65 1956 Year should be written without parentheses () This will be fixed by the editing team. Pradeep Mehta 3 65 2100 67 2100 Year should be written without parentheses () This will be fixed by the editing team. Nicolas Cesard 3 69 2170 2174 REFERENCE UPDATED Samorai Lengoisa, J. 2015. Ogiek peoples of This will be fixed by the editing team. Kenya: Indigenous and local knowledge of pollination and pollinators associated with food production. In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. Roué (eds.). Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1-5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp.18-26. Online : http://www.unesco.org/new/fileadmin/MULTIMEDIA/HQ/SC/pdf/IP BES_Pollination-Pollinators_Panama_Workshop.pdf

Sjirk Geerts 3 69 2181 69 2181 include full reference, i.e. this is a Masters thesis. This will be fixed by the editing team. Pradeep Mehta 3 72 2311 72 2311 Year should be written without parentheses () This will be fixed by the editing team. Pradeep Mehta 3 75 2500 75 2500 Year should be written without parentheses () This will be fixed by the editing team. German 3 General This Chapter is well structured and easily readable. We thank the Reviewer for her/his Government Comment positive apraisa of our chapter.

David Aston 3 General There is a lot of repetition in this Chapter of the content of other Although this chapter is specifically Comment chapters focused on trends, it is not posible to relate any trend on pollinators or pollination with the drivers causing this Japanese 3 p.46 1332 p.51 1459 Chapter 3.7(p46-50, “Agricultural Dependence”) in the full This comment should be addresed in the Government report, which has a role of detailed explanation on pollination SPM. dependency, adapts the data based on FAO and Aizen et al. (Fig.3.9). However, SPM doesn’t uses the data in explanation of pollination dependency, insted, it uses the data based on Lautenbach S., et.al (2012) The main data which explains pollination dependency in the full report should be referred to in the SPM.

Fr Pg Fr Line To Pg To Line Reviewer ID Ch Comment RESPONSE (start) (start) (end) (end) Is there a reference for the claim that functioning pollination markets only exist in the "west"? I know, for example, that there are well developed pollination markets in South America and Japan, and I suspect this is only the time of the iceburg. The only analysis of these markets that I am aware Andony of comes from the Burgett dataset in the Pacific Northwest, so its unclear Melathopoul 4 45 1093 45 1094 Agreed on what basis one could generalize on the efficiency of these markets. os Moreover I am unaware of any research on the global status of pollination markets - although such work would certainly be welcome. I would suggest modifying the sentence unless the authors can back the claim with a reference. Neumayer (2007) has an important critique of Nordhaus (and Stern, to whom Nordhaus is responding) by pointing out that the focus on discounting rates misses the whole issue that future degradation may result in the perminant loss of natural capital. As Nordhaus points out, even in Stern's worst scenario for climate change, human welfare still expands (but does not expand optimally). Neumayer points out that what Nordhaus and Stern fail to notice is that discounting (no matter what the rate) does not register perminant loss. With respect to pollinators, this may suggest Andony that lowering the discount rate to reflect the importance of pollinator A reference will be done Melathopoul 4 46 1130 46 1149 conservation for future generations may miss the point if it leads to high on this issue os levels of extinction. According to Neumayer, in such cases it may be better to argue on the grounds of preserving natural capital before irreversable loss takes place (ie strong sustainability). This arguement was adapted to the specific case of pollination by Olschewski and Klein (2011) ||| Neumayer, E., 2007. A missed opportunity: The Stern Review on climate change fails to tackle the issue of non-substitutable loss of natural capital. Global Environmental Change 17, 297-301. | Olschewski, R., Klein, A., 2011. Ecosystem services between sustainability and efficiency. Sustainability: Science, Practice & Policy 7, 69. I am glad the report foreground the problem of datasets. But at some point there should be an assessment of the most pressing data needs. I certainly Andony think there is a tremendous problem associated with some of the simplest Agreed. We have added a Melathopoul 4 46 1150 47 1169 problems (e.g., what crops managed pollinators are allocated to on a table to the chapter. os national scale). A statement (a table would be even better) outlining the most problematic type of datasets would be helpful. I am very sympathetic to the point that valuations may not be meaninful It is not the purpose of this without accounting for the variation in pollinator visitation on crops across assessment to give space and time. Like the report, I also think part of the solution is long-term recommendations to monitoring. But it would be helpful if the report could provide insight into governments. This would how to prioritize such monitoring. Clearly, a government could take up be specially problematic In "monitoring" but without a clear focus, resources could be squandered. I'd the specific case of what like to see the authors expand (in 2-3 sentences) what issues need to be crop types should be considered in our approach to monitoring. To make my point clear, let me prioritized for investigation. provide an example. It strikes me that crops that currently have a massive Andony For example, in the case influence on valuations (e.g., oilseeds) that also lack pollination markets Melathopoul 4 46 1170 47 1180 of oilseeds, someone can (i.e. where pollinator visitation is not even coarsely regulated as an input by os claim that dependency is farmers) may not be impacted by pollinator declines because pollinator considered low or populations do not exist. Perhaps, in such a case, a pilot study should be pollinator density is low conducted to see how dependent these crops are on pollinators in practice . because studies are If pollinators largely do not play a role in current yield (and I suspect for lacking. Thus, we decided soybeans they are not) then a monitoring program could excludes these to draw attention the crops in order to focus resources elsewhere. My point here is not that the impacts of understudied report adopt my suggestion, but rather that it advance some thoughts on crop types, particuarly in the priorities for monitoring might be set. Section 5. It is very unclear to the reader what these scenarios mean in the actual context of pollination services, since it reads in the text as thought they parallel those used elsewhere (e.g., IPCC). The reader should have some Andony idea of the pollinator-specific dimensions of BAMBU mean and the key Melathopoul 4 49 1233 49 1234 Rewrite pollinator-specific parameters being adjusted among the scenarios be os explained (e.g., farm prices for pollinator-dependent crops and the effect on pollinator dependency under scenarios of pollinator decline - Gallai 2009 adjusting D relative to pollinator densities). Andony I thought this section was well written and its summary in Table 6 is Melathopoul 4 50 1279 51 1318 Thanks! excellent. os Andony I know we were instructed not to get caught up on copy-editing issues, but Melathopoul 4 54 1429 54 1429 honey bee in this section is inconsistent with the previous section and This will be verified. os spelled incorrectly (i.e., honeybee). I had not previously encountered Portfolio Methods, but I read the non- The reviewer makes a technical parts of the Cong et al. paper. I think this is an interesting number of useful points approach and I certainly would be excited to see a pollinator application. here that have been One issue that should be discussed more is the idea that portfolios (or incorporated. However, risks for that matter) for wild and managed pollinators would somehow be there does seem to be similar. The managed pollinator density around a field is largely some misunderstanding independent of the capacity of the crop and surrounding landscape to here - the risk is not to the support those populations, since colonies frequently are moved and use pollinator but to the resources across several different landscapes. Morover managed beneficiary - ie the pollinators depend on external inputs of sucrose and plant proteins producer. This is the point (particularly for honey bee and commercial honey bees, not for leafcutter in the cited paper by Cong bees). The risks for these managed species, in other words, may have less et al as well; the optimal of an immediate biophysical dimension as a social one (e.g., as Rucker at portfolio is the one that produces the greatest Andony all point out, prices for honey bee rentals in the US seem less about supply benefits at the lowest risk Melathopoul 4 56 1455 56 1497 shortages and more about international honey prices and beekeeper to the producer. In the os expenses, particuly fuel prices). The potential discoupling of portfolios case of pollinators risks between managed and wild pollinator species should be made clearer in are a property of the text. I have included some references below should you wish to raise populations which can this issue. But there is another issue, whereby managed species might, in fluctuate across years and themselves, constitute a *risk factor* for wild populations. Some of this is need complex modelling to obvious and well-documented (e.g., pathogen spill over, competion over capture (this is a resources, etc). But another feature is that the welfare benefits of wild weakness, very specifically for modelling pollination pollinators are often predicated on managed pollinator populations services and has been declining . In other words, expansion or contraction of managed pollinator clarified as such). The populations offsets or intensifies the risk associated with declining example of managed pollinator populations. Perhaps some of these concerns are covered off in pollinators being a means the text and are implicit in the methodology, but it was not clear to me of reducing risk to wild how these concerns were addressed in the 'weakness' section. ||| Kendall, pollinators is now in the I appreciate the attempt to estimate the vulnerability of different regions to pollinator decline and that such an approach needs to integrate different determinants. But reading over the methodology this approach seemed This paragraph has been very abstract and subjective, particularly in terms of the rankings. I cannot updated to further clarify envision how the quantitative variation (and by extension, estimates of these issues, however it uncertainty) could be drawn into this framework. Moreover, it seemed as Andony should be noted that the though the citations were all theoretical rather than worked out examples Melathopoul 4 57 1499 58 1536 ranking is inherantly (e.g., as with Cong et al. and soil-mediated services in the Portfolio os subjective to an extent as Methods). I suspect much of my confusion may be productively addressed the capacity to susbstitute with a brief example of how this methodology has been previous applied or capital is rarely known or how it might incorporate the potentially large uncertainty associated with understood. the quantitative dimensions of pollinator yield benefits (e.g., variation in pollinator visitation rate within a crop, variation the production response within a crop to a given visitation rate, etc.). Andony Melathopoul 4 59 1559 59 1572 I thought the weakness section was well articulated. Ok os Although the reviewer is The Liss et al. review is very good. But reading this section one might get correct with regards the impression that, in the valuation exercise, pollination services are dependence ratios there Andony measured in a myriad of different ways. This is not the case. While there are a large number of Melathopoul 4 61 1609 62 1633 has been a number of different approaches (e.g., replacement costs, studies, particuarly using os contingent valuation, etc) the predominant approach relies on one the Yield analysis method measurement (dependency) and one dataset (Klien et al. 2007). This fact that do measure pollination should be highlighted in this section. services in ifferent ways. There should be some discussion about the Klein et al. dataset. While I completely agree that we need to consider interacting agronomic factors that affect producer profits, I don't think Klein et al. reflect the actual "initial/fruit pod set" response to pollinator visitation. Valuations since Klein et al. seem to overlook one of the key insights of that study, namely "we found that inadequate information is available on the pollination The Klein et al dataset is biology and pollinator requirements of many crops, especially when discussed in some depth in considering differences among modern varieties and the contribution to section 2 under the pollination services by different pollinator species" (p 310). The authors, dependence ratio methodology. However it is Andony consequently, call for more data from crops collected across multiple years not the purpose of the Melathopoul 4 62 1636 63 1639 and different growing regions. But as Pauly (1996) long ago noted for exercise to dlve very deep os fisheries data, the "preliminary" character of preliminary data is readily into a single paper and as forgotten. Consequently, there has been little effort to revise these such we do not feel it is dependency values. The vast majority of valuations and forecasts since necessary to expand on it 2008 have relied on this dataset. We seem to proliferate new to a great extent in this methodologies for valuation but have a real inability to reflect on the section empirical grounds from which we draw our inferences. This problem has been highlighted elsewhere (Bauer and Sue Wing 2014, Melathopoulos et al. 2015 and Hanley et al. 2015). Somewhere in the report this problem needs to be identified. || Pauly, D., 1996. One hundred million tonnes of fish, and fisheries research. Fisheries Research 25, 25-38. The management section It is unclear why the effect of 'cultivar' is accord a special status in this Andony will be rewored to make It section and be seperated from "5.2.3.1 Crop management and inputs". I Melathopoul 4 63 1639 63 1658 clear that it is only do not understand how this section isn't just dealing with one of the os concerning the addition of "determinants of the benefit(s) of pollination service" (1660) inputsthat affect crop Andony Melathopoul 4 64 1685 64 1687 Glad to see the Bennett el al. reference. This is an excellent point. Thanks! os But importantly Garibaldi et al. 2013 suggest that such interactions Andony between honey bees and other species are not typical (i.e., the lack of an We have updated this Melathopoul 4 66 1732 66 1738 interaction between honey bees x non-Apis species in models predicting paragraph accordingly os fruit set from visitation rates). This finding should be worked into this section. Similar studies include Javorek et al. on blueberries and Artz and Nault on pumpkin. ||| Artz, D.R., Nault, B.A., 2011. Performance of Apis mellifera, Bombus impatiens, and Peponapis pruinosa (Hymenoptera: Apidae) as Andony pollinators of pumpkin. Journal of economic entomology 104, 1153-1161. | These examples have Melathopoul 4 66 1750 66 1755 Javorek, S., Mackenzie, K., Vander Kloet, S., 2002. Comparative been added. os pollination effectiveness among bees (Hymenoptera: Apoidea) on lowbush blueberry (Ericaceae: Vaccinium angustifolium). Annals of the Entomological Society of America 95, 345-351. For details of breeding I think the scope of replacement goes far beyond what is described in this pollinator independent section and the author's ought to go beyond mechanical pollination. Take varieties, see Chapter 6 the example of a large crop like oilseed rape (which a potentially large where they are discussed influence on valuation at national and global scales). In North America we as a mitigation strategy. have seen the shift away from self-incompatable B. rapa to self- There have not been many compatable B. napus in a span of 10 years beginning in the 1990s. B. rapa studies that have is barely grown at this point. Moreover, pollinator yield increases have Andony examined the dependence become more complex in this crop with the widespread adoption of hybrid Melathopoul 4 67 1778 68 1787 of oilseed rape until the varieties beginning in the 2000s, which are heavily stocked with multiple os last 5 years so making it species of managed pollinators. Yet dependency seems to remain static in difficult to say how all the valuations. Moreover, there is conflicting evidence that the newer reflective old dependence hybrid varieties are less pollinator dependent (Marini et al. 2015 speculates ratios are. While the this is because hybrids produce more flowers, allowing them to reviewer is correct that the compensate for low pollinator visitations, but Hudewenz et al. 2013 hybrids shortcomings with the were more sensitive) This example shows the complex processes through current depenence ratios which "artificial" substitutes for pollination can be generated. Theare important focus of this to highlight, chapter Yet in many ecosystem valuation systems, inputs such as pollination, or necessarially constrains us natural pest control are not valued, because they are considered Barbara to focus mostly on the intermediate services that ultimately are valued through the final Gemmill- 4 5 20 5 28 utilitarian value of service. production. I don't agree with this, I think such services are a public good Herren The chapter does however that has an intrinsic value, built up over years of investment- I hope your recognise, in several chapter may address this oversight/concept sections, that economic Barbara A key point- completely in line with the point above; can we assign a value We agree and reworded Gemmill- 4 8 102 8 105 to assemblages, networks, diversity of pollinators, recognising that these the text accordingly. Herren need to be allowed to build over time? Barbara We removed the term Gemmill- 4 9 120 9 120 what is a wide scientific literature? "wide" Herren We agree, these are Barbara I understand the need to outline these different values, but it is not written explained in greater detail Gemmill- 4 9 124 9 131 in a way that is very understandable or approachable by non specialists; in Sections 1 and 2. There Herren could it be rewriteent, with examples that explain what each of these mean? has also been a slight Barbara somewhat odd, as this describes the chapter we are now reading? Would Gemmill- 4 9 142 9 144 OK you not rather say "This chapter"? Herren see comments above but I think the whole approach to valuing an Barbara intermediate service needs a lot of consideration…and of course it is not The reviewer is right and Gemmill- 4 10 150 10 154 simply "the reproduction of certain plants" at stake, it is the production of the text has been modified Herren pollinator-dependent crops for human food and nutrition security, along with the reproduction of certain plants. Barbara why not include club goods in this table, for the sake of completeness?- is There is no relevant Gemmill- 4 18 367 18 367 there no relevant example in relation to pollination? example Herren One of the major gaps in This would seem so much less like text from an economics textbook if Barbara the literaure is that there is each point was linked to an example from pollinaiton. Surely there have Gemmill- 4 19 382 19 400 little evidnece of this being been cba and a specific instance of CEA that could be described (not just Herren the case - to the authours hypothetical). knowledge there are only a Barbara The legend was changed Gemmill- 4 1051 1051 Table 4- not clear what the compatibility column refers to to clarify the compatibility Herren column. The differenciation If there is an opportunity to revise the chapter titles, it might be helpful to between chapter 4 and 5 Canadian readers if the titles for chapters 4 and 5 were structured/worded very 4 Titles 0 will be explained into Government similarly, indicating that one is economic valuation and one is sociocultural chapter 1 (introduction). valuation. Economic value is Chinese 4 9 125 "Daily et al. 1997" should be "Daily et al., 1997". OK government I do not agree since many Chinese Caption of Figure 1 should be "Total value of pollinators and pollination", references of this 4 11 178 government delete " economic" is better. classification maitain the term "Economic" and it Chinese "Consuptive" should be "Consumptive";"geenrations" should be These spelling errors have 4 11 182 Figure 1 government "generations". bene corrected The choce of "term" is Chinese "in both monetary and non-monetary terms" should be "in both monetary more consistent with the 4 12 187 government and non-monetary forms" is better. language employed in the literature and (indirectly) Chinese 4 21 450 "Klein et al, 2007" should be "Klein et al., 2007". Done government Chinese 4 33 847 "Breeze et al, 2015" should be "Breeze et al., 2015". Done government Chinese 4 33 855 "Henscher et al, 2010" should be "Henscher et al., 2010". Done government Chinese 4 33 859 "e.g. Spash et al, 2009" should be "e.g. Spash et al., 2009". Done government Chinese 4 46 1145 "Nordhaus 2007" should be "Nordhaus, 2007". Done government Chinese 4 46 1149 "Weitzman 1993" should be "Weitzman,1993". Done government Chinese 4 48 1207 "Garry et al. 2003" should be "Garry et al., 2003". Done government Chinese 4 48 1216 48 1218 The references' form should be corrected. OK government Chinese 4 50 1281 "MEA 2003" should be "MEA, 2003". Done government Chinese 4 63 1649 "e.g. Garratt et al. 2014" should be "e.g. Garratt et al., 2014". will be done government Chinese 4 64 1698 "Bennet et al. 2009" should be "Bennet et al., 2009". Corrected government Chinese 4 65 1707 "Lundin et al. 2013 should be "Lundin et al., 2013". Corrected government 1711, Chinese 4 65 1721,17 The references' form should be corrected. Corrected government 22 Chinese 4 66 1747 "Greenleaf and Kremen 2006" should be "Greenleaf and Kremen ,2006". Corrected government Chinese 1760, 4 67 The references' form should be corrected. Corrected government 1765 Chinese 4 68 1809 "Klatt et al, 2014" should be "Klatt et al., 2014". Corrected government Chinese 4 70 1843 "Diaz et al. 2015" should be "Diaz et al., 2015". Corrected government It strikes me that an economist wrote this section and fails to understand the true value of nutrition and healthy diets to human wellbeing. It is stated in L963 that deficiencies in nutrition lead to "reduced labour activity and We agree and performed Christopher increased healthcare costs." These are important... but what about 4 37 959 38 987 changes in accordance to Golden increasing rates of maternal and perinatal mortality? What about increasing the reviewer suggestion risk of infectious disease and other forms of morbidity? I think the true importance of this section is minimized by a focus on things that can be Inmonetized. bringing up the Ellis article, I would take the opportunity to differentiate between food security and nutritional security. A country could lose its pollinators and still maintain nutritional security through imports and other We agree and performed Christopher forms of trade. Or, it could receive all of its nutrition from non-pollinator- 4 37 959 38 987 changes in accordance to Golden dependent crops. The important nuance in that article is that a country the reviewer suggestion must have a high dependency on pollinatory-dependent crops AND be on the verge of nutritional insecurity in order to feel the effects of pollinator declines. Cite "Impact of Animal Pollinator Declines on Human Nutrition and Global Health" by Matthew R. Smith, Gitanjali M. Singh, Dariush Mozaffarian, and Samuel S. Myers (to be published in the Lancet this month). Main findings are these: Assuming complete removal of pollinators, we estimated that 71M (95% uncertainty interval: 41–262M) people in developing countries could become newly deficient in vitamin A, and an additional 2.2B (1.2–2.5B) already consuming below the EAR would see their vitamin A supplies decline further. Corresponding estimates for folate were 173M We agree and performed Christopher 4 37 959 38 987 (134–225M) and 1.23B (1.12–1.33B). A decline in pollinator services could changes in accordance to Golden reduce global fruit supplies by 22.9% (19.5–26.1%), vegetables by 16.3% the reviewer suggestion (15.1–17.7%), and nuts & seeds by 22.1% (17.7–26.4%), with significant heterogeneity by nation. In sum, these dietary changes were estimated to increase global deaths from noncommunicable and malnutrition-related diseases by 1.42M (1.38–1.48M) and disability-adjusted life-years (DALYs) by 27.0M (25.8–29.1Μ), equaling a 1.1% increase in total DALYs annually. Under a scenario of 50% loss of pollination, deaths and DALYs were roughly cut by half: 0.7M and 13.2M, respectively. Christopher 4 37 967 Define "issues" Text has been rewritten Golden The reviewer is correct General comments: The chapter would benefit significantly from having that there are errors in more economists working on it. There are a number of serious application of terminology misunderstandings/misinterpretations of some, quite basic, economic within the chapter that principles scattered throughout the chapter (see below for details). In the should have been same way that I would be dubious if economists (even those working on corrected in previous pollination) had written the ecology chapters of this report I am deeply drafts. An extensive review Dave Abson 4 1 0 41 concerned that this chapter seems to have been written primarily by process has been ecologists. I regret to say that I do not believe that the chapter should be conducted by the published without major revisions, ideally involving experts on ecosystem authours, co-chairs and service valuation theory and methods. As a secondary, but still important two additional reviewers concern the structure and flow of the arguments is often quite fragmented, with a background in jumping from one idea to the next with little narrative flow to guide the economics in response to reader between them and no clear structure for the chapter overall. this comment in particular; That sentence was This statement does not really make any sense. Economic values does not rephrased to improve "do" anything. It is something humans ascribe to objects and processes. By clarity. For example, we Dave Abson 4 5 30 5 32 limited do you mean scarce (this would be the standard terminology)? changed “limited” with Moreover, what do you mean by "quantifies...the distribution"? Economic “scarce”. Our view on valuation does not tell you much, if anything at all, about distribution values follow the IPBES "when benefits relate to existing markets" this should be "goods or services Changed as suggested by Dave Abson 4 6 39 6 39 traded in economic markets" the reviewer We are not sure what the this line is misleading, for example, hedonic pricing is very much a reviewer is referring to monetary method, but it does not related benefits "traded directly on Dave Abson 4 6 40 6 40 here; the sentence in markets". Similarly other revealed preference monetary valuations such as question states that these travel costs are not related to goods that are directly traded. are non-market values not This is not a good explanation of why economists value at the margin. Dave Abson 4 6 43 6 44 Marginal valuation matters because it is at the margin where decisions are Rephrased as suggested. made. We cannot put citations in there really should be citations here or some explanation regarding how the executive summery. Dave Abson 4 6 51 6 55 these figures were reached. Especially given that it is noted in the next The evidnece within the sentence that "values are highly dependent upon the methods used". Thesechapter terms is fully were references, used in the reviewed version of How are "proportional yield" and "general equilibrium models" valuation Section 2, however due to methods (my understanding is that they are biophysical measures to which Dave Abson 4 6 56 6 59 a number of revisions economic valuation can be applied)? Avoided costs and replacement costs suggested by reviewers are not the same thing. and the authours, "proportional yeild" The definition of social capital is very odd, I have never seen it defined in these terms before. How are schools a form of social capital? More We reworded those Dave Abson 4 6 65 6 68 problematic natural capital (a stock) is conflated with ecosystems services sentences to clarify the (flows) that flow from (or are based on the liquidation of) that natural capital concepts. stock in conjunction with other capital stocks. This is just wrong. I do not believe that this statement can be justified. Does increased wealth We agree and reworded Dave Abson 4 6 68 7 69 automatically lead to "enhances [in] development and sustainable rural the text to clarify the livelihoods? The evidence would suggest not. concepts. I really do not understand what is being suggested here. How would you use this capitals approach to value changes in pollinators? I just cannot see any practical or meaningful way of doing this. For example, how do We added text to clarify Dave Abson 4 7 69 7 72 you assess the affect of pollinator decline on social capital? Do you what we mean. More detail assume that there is complete substitutability between different capital can be found in section 2. stocks? what commensurable units would be used to measure (for example) social and financial capital? I think it is an over exaggeration to say that "the benefits of pollination services are broadly understood". For example, we do not have a good Dave Abson 4 7 79 7 83 handle on the marginal value in a change in pollinators and changes in Clarified as suggested. pollination, or in turn what that means for human well-being. What do you mean by "market databases"? It is a very odd phrase. We agree. CBA is Care needed when using terms like "larger scale" these terms can be mentioned as an example Dave Abson 4 7 87 7 100 interpreted very differently in different disciplines. Why mention CBA here to clarify concepts related and not in the section discussing valuation methods? Weto scale. removed the Odd definitions of marco and meso economics. Moreover, are these really Dave Abson 4 7 92 7 95 definitions because there "analysis frameworks"? The justification for considering temporal scale is very weak. You do not is no space to proper need two time periods for marginal analysis, it is perfectly possible to substitute space for time to evaluate changes in pollinators. Temporal We agree and reworded Dave Abson 4 7 98 7 100 scale matters because ascribed values are endogenous to changes in the the text accordingly. number of pollinators and other system properties. Therefore static values provide only limited, and perhaps misleading information for decision makers. We removed the word what are these methods? I cannot think of any beyond insurance value and Dave Abson 4 8 102 8 104 “suitable” before that has serious conceptual/methodological problems The“methods”. text has More been detail is What do you mean by "joint use"? How does valuation tell you anything Dave Abson 4 8 106 8 108 rephrased to improve about sustainability? Thisclarity. was not the intention Are you seriously suggesting that risk analyses (vague as that term is) can Dave Abson 4 8 108 8 110 of the text which has now be used in ecolabeling? Webeen removed removed "(and must)" Argument by assertion. Many people reject the usefulness of economic and extended the sentence Dave Abson 4 9 120 9 122 valuation of ecosystem services. If you want to make this point you need to to 1) reflect that this is not provide a coherent argument as to why this is the case. always necessary/appropriate (as how do you "interact with the benefits"? You either receive a benefit or you sentence rephrase: "… do not, you don't interact with it. Moreover, I think there is a strong case to Dave Abson 4 9 129 9 133 when users directly benefit be made that crop pollination is an intermediate (i.e. indirect benefit) of pollination services.." service not a direct one. Awkward phrase "non-consumptive aims" We do not agree with the Dave Abson 4 9 150 9 152 This is correct but directly contradicts what is written in line 131 and figure 1 reviewer: pollination as an Theintermediate word "similar" service has it still Dave Abson 4 9 152 9 154 Similar to what? This is not mentioned. "form" should be "from" been removed because Rephrasedthe example as: in question"The rationale behind economic valuation and the Dave Abson 4 9 155 9 156 Awkward phrasing specificities of pollinators for which valuation is Weconfronted are not withsure is where the reviewers comment fits but hedonic pricing could be used to value 'aesthetic service' and this into the diagram, which Dave Abson 4 12 186 12 188 basically a market method. does not discuss methods. Hedonic pricing is certainlay possible for e.g. if the value for maintaining pollinators is "production and profitability" in the We rephrased the text to Dave Abson 4 12 188 12 191 future, how is this a non-monetary value? improve clarity Very unclear discussion given that monetary valuation provides an Following this an other exchange valuation and therefore a theoretical price of a given service. comments the use of these Dave Abson 4 12 198 12 203 Both are prices, just one is theoretical and the other that currently terms was extensively expressed by the market. reviewed throughout to Poorly expressed. Valuation is a way of eliciting existing values ascribed to We rephrased the text to Dave Abson 4 12 214 12 217 objects or services, it does not create those values (well you could argue improve clarity that deliberative valuations does to some extent). We rephrased the text to Dave Abson 4 13 226 13 226 How do "values share uncertainty"? improve clarity I find this section problematic because it has so many unexplored normative assumptions in it (for example, that conservation is inherently We rephrased the text to Dave Abson 4 13 238 14 256 good) and nowhere is the normative component of the valuation to policy improve clarity nexus seriously explored. We agree. Across the I am pretty dubious about the latter of these values, in part because it chapter we now included seems to assume that, for example, in a crop that is 100% dependent on and improved several pollinators then pollinators are responsible for the entire value of the crop. tables comparing how Does this mean the labour (and all other factors of production)used to values change because of produce those crops are of zero value (logically you could make the same Dave Abson 4 14 259 14 260 different methods and argument for removal of any factor of production and make all other factors assumptions. In particular of production worth zero -pollination included)? This is precisely the reason Section 7 extends this such values are meaningless. The next few lines point out the need for discussion substantially marginal analysis, why then present such aggregate global values, what do using a wide number of they really tell us about the world? Well,case studies.we tried to clarify I don't think valuation tells you about scarcity, rather scarcity inform Dave Abson 4 15 287 15 289 according to the exchange values. Thismainstream passages scientific is general and does not refer to the "being too simplistic and causing a loss of information" are only two of the valuation of nature. Dave Abson 4 15 292 15 294 many critiques regarding the application of exchange values to aspects of Anyhow this comments nature, and probably not the most important ones. would apply to the valuation of nature as well. I have no idea what is meant by "offer information on scarcity issues"? Or Some small changes have Dave Abson 4 15 297 15 298 why scarcity would not be an issue for understanding the " actual been made accordingly functioning of human societies in their relation to ecosystems. This text has been clarified Dave Abson 4 16 300 16 300 What tensions? And what is meant by "intensity" in this context? to: "Expressing the Benefitsintensity isof mentionedthe tensions as on three concepts are suggested as important, but then a fourth (benefits) is Dave Abson 4 16 302 16 313 an ambiguous word, which used. Theis normally point was not corrected,expressed Dave Abson 4 16 320 16 322 This sentence does not make sense grammatically thanks Is this statement really true? This would only be the case for stated A sentence was added to Dave Abson 4 17 323 17 324 preference methods surely? explain this point This was a mistake and Dave Abson 4 17 324 17 325 "says perception"? What does that mean? Ashas per been the corrected reviewers to Dave Abson 4 17 328 17 330 What about opportunity costs? suggestion a reference to opportunity costs has been Argument by assertion. How does property type influence the existence of The reviewer is correct and Dave Abson 4 18 355 18 355 externalities? This seems like a very odd thing to say, externalities can the text has been modified exist for any sort of good. accordingly I would question the non-rival nature of wild pollinators, how are these services different from the service that honey bees provide (which are stated to be rival)? If one plant is pollinated by one pollinator it cannot be pollinating another at the same time. The rivalry comes not in these intermediate services, but in the nature of the final services that these Dave Abson 4 18 359 18 365 intermediate service contribute. For example, the aesthetic value of a wild done flower meadow would be non-rival, while agricultural crops rival, regardless of what type of pollinator provided the pollination on which they depend. Here there also appears to be a misunderstanding of the notion of rivalry (it is not the same as privately owned). Similarly marketable is not the same as excludable. It is actually difficult in a makes categorical errors some of the boxes refer to the intermediate and Dave Abson 4 18 367 18 367 table to introduce too some to the final service. many dimensions. These see previous comments. It depends on the final good being produced, not Dave Abson 4 18 370 18 371 where ? the type of pollinators. The choice of the words "affected" and "responsible" here is very odd. Of changes have ben made Dave Abson 4 18 380 18 380 course the beekeeper are affected by and responsible for their choices for "impacted by the with regard to their bees. consequences of…" We change for Dave Abson 4 19 386 19 386 "confrontation"? Well,"comparison" the reference to NPV I have never seen economic analysis defined in these terms. Lots of Dave Abson 4 19 386 19 388 if often implicit, since it is economic analysis has nothing at all to do with NPV obvious to most economists Again a very confused sentence there is nothing inherent in the NPV that Discounting is covered in Dave Abson 4 19 388 19 389 says it has to be about net social (as opposed to private) benefits. No more depth in Section 3 mention of discounting in this section? no definition of utilitarianism, no definition of social justice, no We have introduced a Dave Abson 4 19 395 19 395 acknowledgement that there are forms of utilitarianism that explicitly number of references in address social justice (e.g. equity maximising utilitarianism). response to this point If you are going to make such an intriguing claim why not actually explain Good point, changes have Dave Abson 4 19 406 19 409 what is mean by "more complex than it seems" been made accordingly what do you mean by "poor social impact"? Is there a correct way that I have replaced "poor" by Dave Abson 4 19 414 20 415 society should react to such normative science? "limited" Good point, changes have Dave Abson 4 19 427 20 428 How do you know the sensitivity is "quite high" has this been tested? Here you are assuming that pollinator shortage is the problem… this is Thatbeen ismade right. accordingly But can we Dave Abson 4 20 433 20 435 highly normative, the socially optimum solution might not have any really imagine the life pollinators at all. without pollinators? This has been rewritten to I don't follow this argument they have a market price this of course is emphasise that the price of Dave Abson 4 22 477 22 485 influenced by lots of factors, but so too are all market prices. Nevertheless, managed pollinators does the represent the exchange values of that service at a given point in time. Thisnot refelct is not theso muchbenefit a to constraint of this or any other method reviewed, all fo which concern I would argue that a bigger issue is that these experiments don't consider themselves with the the opportunity costs of having pollinators (i.e. what is the real object of benefits that are gained or Dave Abson 4 23 516 23 524 choice in an economic sense and how is it related to pollination services). lost with changing For example, you might change pollinator numbers via increase habitat or pollinator populations. It is decreased pesticide usage, both affect yield and profits. still possibile to conduct a cost:benefit analysis where opportunity costs are Opportunityincluded in the costs cost are aspect part again ignore opportunity cost and the real object of choice for producers Dave Abson 4 24 554 24 556 of cost-benefit analysis (which is not pollinators). Thewhich authours is in section would 6 argue Replacement cost and avoided costs are not the same thing. The first is both approches represent the cost to replace an existing service and the second is the additional costs avoided in the costs incurred by not having the service. For example, replacement costs presence of a service for the flood defence service provided by coastal mangroves could be the Dave Abson 4 25 576 25 579 verses it's absence. cost of building and maintaining a concrete barrier, while avoided costs However as the literature would be the cost of repairing flooded homes. While I acknowledge that the has yet to articulate this difference is less clear in pollination I think it still makes sense not to view, the referenecs to conflate to different approaches to valuation in this way. Thesecosts avoided assumptions have beenare mentioned in the text, A minimum requirement for any replacement cost method is that the most however this has been efficient available replacement method is used. In the absence of such a rewritten to make these rule the 'value' can be artificially inflated by simply picking a more assumptions more explicit. Dave Abson 4 26 614 26 614 expensive/less efficient alternative (e.g. hand pollination over managed The reviewers example is bees). More fundamentally cost is not an indicator of value. Does the cost strange as the of diving for pearls adequately indicate their value? methodology is about replacing a "free" serive with a labour based one; This is a mistake that Why would it be valid when considering total loss of pollinators? Cost still slipped through editing. Dave Abson 4 26 619 26 621 does not equal value. The text was supposed to Asread above, that hand this ispollination more of Again the object of choice in economics is generally not the number of Dave Abson 4 26 634 27 647 an issue for the application pollinators. of value I can't follow this. If the analysis is done on such fine scales (i.e. based on Localized was a poor field data) then the marginal change in production will have no effect on choice of words on our Dave Abson 4 27 655 27 660 prices? In fact this point is made a few lines later so this text need some part. This has been clarification. reworded to reflect this Reworded to remove There are lots of other reason why famers don't automatically switch crops mention of ease of (knowledge, tradition etc.) moreover, given that many of the most important Dave Abson 4 27 670 28 671 substittion as the reviewer animal pollinated crops are not annual crops then the assumption of crop is correct and a number of switching is quite problematic. Another additional factors couldparagraph also has been added explaining the economic use of Does not really explain how a PF approach works from an economic production function Dave Abson 4 30 738 30 770 perspective, the basic assumption of such a model or how those models. However, the key assumptions relate to the specific context of pollination services. assumptions of these analyses are not thought Whileto be especially the reviewer has a point, these methods are not widely recognised as potentially suitable for use in valuing pollination what about travel cost methods? Or hedonic pricing, while both are services in the wider Dave Abson 4 30 804 31 805 problematic in their own ways they could in theory be applied to the non- literature (e.g. de Groot et market aesthetic value of wild plant pollination. al, 2002) and any link to valuation of pollinator gains and losses would be several steps removed from the value estimated The overview has been This section is unclear in part be cause no clear distinction is drawn in the rewritten to stress that the previous subsections regarding the difference between stated preference values elicited directly for Dave Abson 4 33 843 33 846 applied to the valuation of pollination and the valuation of pollinators. pollinators are existence Moreover, how do you relate the change in the non-market good to values and the values marginal change in pollinators, this is not a trivial matter. Asattributed the reviewer to other correctly benefits points out that there are Is there any evidence that it is lack of familiarity that results in low response numerous reasons for low Dave Abson 4 33 848 33 849 rate (rather than people be to busy, just not caring)? Why are low response response rates we have rates problematic (as is implied here)? ommitted this particularity and instead refocused this Referenceon two seperate to protest factors - Jargon, what do you mean by "cost attribute". How is this different from the responses has been protest votes or gaming (as there are no consequences related to the removed and instead the Dave Abson 4 33 853 33 855 ascribed choices) noted in the next paragraph? No mention of option bias, text has bene refocuised vehicle bias, the fact that giving additional information might change around the idea that there ascribed values and make those surveyed no longer representative. Thisare factosr section that has can been bias You seem to be implying that capital cannot/is not traded. This is simply heavilly rewritten to draw not true. Why is the non-monetary section focused on capital? There are distinction between the Dave Abson 4 35 880 35 880 also non-monetary approaches to valuing flows (rather than just capital capital accounting and the stocks). non-monetary biophysical Themeasures section of has capital been this extensively rewritten along "aspects of capital" or "types of capital stocks"? What about flows of goods these lines. Pollination is and services that regulating services provide? Need some Dave Abson 4 35 982 35 893 widely regarded as a justification/explanation of why pollination is regarded as a regulating regulating service (see the service. MEA, the UKNEA and if pollinators are produced by the landscape are they capital stock or flows Thisnumerous section core has texts been and of "goods"? I would argue that capital stock is the habitat that supports extensively rewritten and pollinators, as this is the object of economic choice. Nowhere is this section should now reflect the Dave Abson 4 36 913 36 914 do you really explain how to value capital stocks (or why they are even reviewers comemnts valuable) and by conflating natural capital stocks, ecosystem services because of the distinction (flows) and accounting frameworks this section is confusing and difficult to drawn between monetary follow. and biophysical values of The section has been Again it is not clear if this is about modelling stocks (capital) or flows Dave Abson 4 36 916 36 925 extensively rewritten to (services) or how any of this relates to economics. Referencemake it clear to thatbee thisfarming is has been removed as this Dave Abson 4 36 929 36 930 Again why "or"? can mean different things Theto different reviewer people is correct, (some How is employment a form of human capital? Or for that mater the Dave Abson 4 36 930 36 934 both of these are "availability of nutrients". Also ignore the value of other factors of production, substitution of the Thesetechnically assumptions flows. The are pollination service itself (e.g. hand pollination) and the importance of largely covered in the marginal values in economics and decision making. The price question is preceeding section and Dave Abson 4 447 21 452 one of scale(i.e. are the affected producers price takers?) Despite scale are very common being noted as important earlier it is largely ignored throughout the throughout the valuation document. Wemethods have listed.slightly As modified such, Why "or"? Stated preference cannot meaningfully be used to elicit values the text to reflect this, ascribe to the existence of all pollinators. So they are based on (marginal) Dave Abson 4 830 32 832 however without changes in pollinators and what values would these relative changes relate thresholds it's impossible to if not existence values (this is not explained). Theto say section that there has beenis no But you have still not explained how you value pollinators as a form of extensively rewritten to capital. Do you mean biophysical measures here? Moreover, in accounting Dave Abson 4 940 36 941 distingusih betwene you would not include the value of the other forms of capital they enable as valuing capital in a these are valued separately and this would lead to double counting. neoclassical sense and the I find this table very problematic both in terms of the "capital assets" and "measuring effect". How are beekeeping organizations a form of social This table has been Dave Abson 4 989 39 989 capital and even if they are do you really believe counting members tells completely reworked you anything about social capital? Similarly food provision is a flow not a capital stock, there are many other problems with this table. Unfortunately, this Information on practice and experience in providing pollination to crops is David Aston 4 22 472 comment is too vague for available Thisus to principle understand is similar in full for other inputs - applying Pesticides and fertilisers are applied in quantitifed dosages whereas David Aston 4 36 908 fertilizers does not mean managed pollinators can only be quantified in terms of potential flower visits that the plants will always Asuptake other and reviewers utilize the have No reference is made to members of the public who are an important part David Aston 4 38 942 pointed out support of of the social capital who support NGO's NGOs isn't technically Food security is mentioned General thoughout however links The importance of pollination should be further reinforced by mentioning with pollictical stability are David Aston 4 0 Comme food security, potential political instability several stps removed from nt the focus of this chapter in General Weitself. are There not sure are howeverwhere Many beekeepers are motivated to keep bees because of their contribution David Aston 4 0 specifically this comment is to [pollination GeneralComme Sectionin reference 8 has to. been No discussion only an Executive Summary which leaves the reader David Aston 4 0 extensively rewritten to thinking 'so what? Comme Aproduce reference a more to the coherant German 4 6 48 6 59 Please provide the reference(s) for the estimated monetary values. corresponding Table was Government now included. The high level of uncertainty linked to these estimations, which are German Changed as suggested by 4 6 51 6 51 concretely expressed in US$, should be clearly highlighted, even though Government the reviewer this point is taken up again on the pages from 79 onwards. Limitations are not only determined by the unavailablity of data. Limitations German We agree and reworded 4 7 79 7 80 also emerge from methodological 'challenges', and the need for Government the text accordingly. methogological development. The temporal dimension is not only relevant for the stated marginal value of pollinator gains (i.e. comparison between two points in time), but also German important to appropriately quantify the value(s) emerging from a long-term We agree and reworded 4 7 98 7 100 Government or permanent loss of pollinators (i.e. the loss of a pollinator means that the the text accordingly. pollination service is not available for the time scale defined for the calculations). This section has been This sentence may convey the wrong impression that all necessary data entirely rewritten to better and methods already exist and that if these are used, they can provide German reflect the suggestions of 4 92 2360 92 2362 solid information for decision-making. We think that it is absolutely crucial Government this and numerous other to include and highlight gaps and questions regarding existing data and reviewers, the co-chairs methods in the conclusions section of this document. and Bureau General comment on the recommendations outlined in chapter 8.2: the This section has been focus of the recommendations are largely on 'awareness raising'; entirely rewritten to better 'standardization', and 'integration into decsion making processes'. The German reflect the suggestions of 4 92 2364 2387 93 issue of 'research and development' is only dealt with very marginally on Government this and numerous other page 93 (lines 2380-2381). We encourage the authors to highlight more reviewers, the co-chairs clearly/visibly that there is still the need for research and development in and Bureau the fields of economic valuation methods and data. This section has been Due to the obivious need for further research on methods, it is important to entirely rewritten to better highlight that it is still too early to finalize the standardization of economic German reflect the suggestions of 4 93 2374 93 2374 methodologies for pollination assessments. Any efforts to standardize Government this and numerous other methods should remain open for the scientific advancement in the field of reviewers, the co-chairs (economic) valorization of biodiversity. Thisand Bureausection has been German Additional text: include: "… environmental policies and economic instruments entirely rewritten to better 4 93 2383 93 2383 Government to support …" reflect the suggestions of Thethis andfocus numerous of this comment other Ir. Ali 4 12 183 12 184 Need to cite culturally is not clear, we believe it Mahamane may have been intended There is need to raise awareness on the need to put an emphasis on the Ir. Ali We agree and reinforce 4 20 417 20 420 economic value of pollinators. Indeed, around the world the economic Mahamane this idea in the paragraph value of pollinators is ignored. Johan van We clarified the concept by 4 6 51 6 51 Not clear what is meant with (2010 US$)? Veen adding the word “constant”. The reviewer is right we Another important factor not considered by the authors in this paragraph is will developp a subsection that many beekeepers nowadays prefer to exploit their hives less for Johan van within the sections 1 and 6 4 45 1093 45 1109 intensive crop pollination and keep the hives for longer periods in natural Veen i.e what is an economic areas so these can recover and thus reduce losses from CCD. This has analysis of pollinator become more common practice after 2006. impact into section 1 and As far as I remember other changes have been made that answer this point. To make it clear here, scarcity scarcity, and it´s difficult to understand the meaning of “lack of supply” with is related to demand and if environmental services. If a limited amount of a resource is given as a the demand is growing result of the earth dimensions, what different makes that people want scarcities appear, Juan Llanes more? They should be frustrated. There are issues related to economic 4 15 284 15 289 disregarding if the good or Regueiro theory that lack to concreteness of science. Robbins never dreamed from asset is natural or man- understanding of environmental services as an economic resource. Do we made. Robbins may never have a scarce atmosphere? How can you improve supply of environmental have thought about services if not by a physical amount?. Supply of Faiht?. Please explain. ecosystem services, it does not change the fact that if we have an economic perspective on The reviewer is rigth, we Juan Llanes Why the use of the Word “political”?. This is misleading, because this is 4 45 1103 1109 will replace political by Regueiro more a “policy” intervention. Can you please explain why “political”? "policy" The ratio used for the actualization of future values….. Better is: “the Juan Llanes 4 46 1135 procedure used for the actualization of future values to present time and Done Regueiro conditions is called discounting”. “the production function”, if not defined earlier (row 735) , this need Definition will be improved Juan Llanes clarification or a definition. It´s not clear if it’s used as a valuation approach 4 50 1245 in section 2 and also Regueiro or in some other sense. See page 55, 1423 to 1426 where the meaning is added to the glossary. more explicit. The defintion is provided Juan Llanes as per the ISO standard. 4 56 1449 1450 It´s difficult to understand the meaning of “risk”. Please clarify Regueiro We were asked to do this and cannot change it. statement on rows 1588-1589 is strong biased towards the possibility of "principal limitation" was Juan Llanes 4 61 1558 1559 monetary valuation with all problems involved. Perhaps an “important changed to "important Regueiro limitation”? limitation" Values are stated as cited thoughout the chapter with the exception of the tables Juan Llanes The values are meaningless if there is no reference to the year used for in Section 7 which explicitly 4 71 1870 83 1243 Regueiro valuation. See table 8 where estimates are based on 2010 US$. convert these to 2015 US$. Although the authours had considered applying this throughout Juan Llanes Is “inflated” the best option? Inflated is better used for the future. Perhaps 4 89 2266 We changed to "adjusted". Regueiro “deflated” This section has been Contingent valuation is not a perfect tool; there are bias and limitations entirely rewritten to better Juan Llanes explored by Pearce almost 20 years ago. A good definition is in IPCC AR5 4 90 2299 2300 reflect the suggestions of Regueiro WG III Glossary; remember that value is also expressed by supply of time, this and numerous other food and other resources. reviewers, the co-chairs Juan Llanes Has been corrected to 4 94 2394 I think it is Daily, H.C. and not G. Please check. Regueiro Daily, H.C.

Juan Llanes 4 1592 who are “we”? Also row 2345. Reword Regueiro

Juan Llanes 4 2272 to estimate rather than calculate OK Regueiro Madeleine 4 0 0 no comments OK Chagnon The reviewer is certainly right here. However the Madeleine 4 45 1093 45 1129 Has the price of a beehive been evaluated according to colony strenght ? section is dedicated to Chagnon scale, and more particularly the subsection Madeleine include recent publication from Nature Comm: David Kleijn et al (16 june) 4 66 1732 66 1748 Added Chagnon DOI: 10.1038/ncomms8414 Madeleine 4 71 1866 71 1866 this is the third time we see this figure in the report (see fig 1.9 and preface) The figure has changed Chagnon Madeleine 4 71 1870 71 1874 idem- include recent publication DOI: 10.1038/ncomms8414 Reference added Chagnon This section has been Madeleine entirely rewritten to better 4 92 2350 92 2362 These points are imortant. Put Bullets to attrack attention Chagnon reflect the suggestions of Thesethis and should numerous be only other in Madeleine Some words in the glossary are in the general glossary. Do you wish to 4 111 3244 111 3305 the general glossary. They Chagnon keep both glossaries ? Theappeared reviewer here is byright mistake. In order to make the report more coherent, it should be explained how however it was agreed that chapter 4 and chapter 5 relates to each other, i.e. how economic valuation Marie this would be explained in 4 12 177 14 266 relates to othersociocultural values and to other perspectives on valuation. Stenseke detail in Chapter 1 which This could be done either in the introduction of this section, or by a specific serves as an overview of question, following the logic of the section. Thisthe whole section report. has been Marina entirely rewritten to better Rosales …, so it would promote the sustainable agriculture, and the conservation of 4 90 2281 90 2282 reflect the suggestions of Benites de biodiversity and ecosystem services. this and numerous other Franco Thisreviewers, section the has co-chairs been Marina entirely rewritten to better Rosales … can enhance the management of Earth's landscapes, as well as conserving 4 92 2346 92 2347 reflect the suggestions of Benites de biodiversity and ecosystem services. this and numerous other Franco (Césard and Heri 2015) reviewers, the co-chairs REFERENCE UPDATED (NOT IN THE REFERENCE LIST) Césard, N., V. Heri. 2015. Indonesian forest communities: Indigenous and local knowledge of pollination and pollinators associated with food production. In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. Roué Nicolas 4 77 2046 77 2046 (eds.). Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators Done Cesard associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1-5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp. 8-17. Online : http://www.unesco.org/new/fileadmin/MULTIMEDIA/HQ/SC/pdf/IPBES_Polli nation-Pollinators_Panama_Workshop.pdf Nicolas with their Maasai, Kikuyu and Kipsigis neighbors in exchanged for... see 4 77 2048 77 2048 Done Cesard below (Samorai Lengoisa, 2015) REFERENCE UPDATED (NOT IN THE REFERENCE LIST) Samorai Lengoisa, J. 2015. Ogiek peoples of Kenya: Indigenous and local knowledge of pollination and pollinators associated with food production. In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. Roué (eds.). Nicolas 4 77 2054 77 2054 Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators Done Cesard associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1-5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp. 18-26. Online : http://www.unesco.org/new/fileadmin/MULTIMEDIA/HQ/SC/pdf/IPBES_Polli nation-Pollinators_Panama_Workshop.pdf This is one reference (book chapter). Should be online. CHANGE IN REFERENCE Mamung, D., Abot, D., 2000, Telang otah urun Nicolas lunang (air susu hutan). Sebuah potongan cerita Punan dalam mengelola The reference was 4 77 3223 77 3227 Cesard hutan. In: Tim Plasma (ed.) Membongkar mitos. Membangun peran. replaced. Inisiatif Lokal dalam Mengelola Sumberdaya Alam di Kalimantan Timur. Jakarta: Plasma, pp. 61-77. Philippe PUYDARRI 4 9 114 9 115 Is it possible to give an example ? Done EUX Following the definitions and examples in Fischer et al. (2009), pollination The pollination service could be considered as a final service when the Philippe service are generally beneficiary is a farmer. But, from the point of view of the society at large, PUYDARRI 4 10 150 10 152 accepted to be an pollination could be considered as ecological function or as intermediate EUX intremediate service as the service. service itself is an input into production, not a Inproduct the contet I itself of that Fischer a et In the figure 1, the location of "honey" could be discussed. Honey is more a al. (2009) honey is a final by-product of pollination service and more especially from bee-keeping, Philippe service produced by which is more an anthropogenic service than a ecosystem service. The PUYDARRI 4 11 174 11 174 pollinators (not location of "honey" should be more relevant in the scope of the EUX necessarially pollination assessment of production services. Like for agriculture, pollination service services as there are many contributes to honey production. commericail beekeepers This paragraph gives a very interesting analysis. But it should have gone Philippe further in order to differenciate the cases when pollination is realy a final PUYDARRI 4 18 369 18 380 service, when it is an ecological function or a intermediate service and same comment apply EUX when it is a consequence of an environmental service such as honey production. This comment does not Philippe refer to a complete PUYDARRI 4 36 905 36 906 This sentence could be developped. sentence, however the EUX Thesentence reviewer it relates is right, to haswe This paragraph could be more balanced. In some western countries, Philippe could change the sentence beekeeping is not only a professional activity but also a leisure. And so it PUYDARRI 4 45 1093 45 1096 explaining that we consider isn't always a question of trade-offs between pollination service and honey EUX here the professional production. beekeeper. Philippe This sentence could be more nuanced. When the NPV is negative, the We agree and make some PUYDARRI 4 46 1134 46 1135 investment isn't profitable. The NPV is not the only factor for deciding if the change in order to nuance EUX project is accepted or not (e.g. : IRR) This sentence is presented as a rule and should not be in this report. The design of PES scheme depends on States and actors preferences. It is not Philippe always relevant to define the payment amounts on the basis of the value of Above comment PUYDARRI 4 70 1863 70 1864 the ecosystem service provided. When the policy target is to change addresses this EUX pratices, it is often relevant to set the payment amount according to the costs of the change (investments, learning costs). Unfortunately no such This paragraph should be developped. Maps could be used by maps exist (Schulp et al., Philippe governments for ressource allocation. For instance, it could be helpful to 2014 is one possible PUYDARRI 4 72 1907 72 1917 know where the pollination potential is high, and simultaneously the crop exception but this has a EUX production dependance to pollinators is high. It is also helpful for number of caveats that are governments to have some monetary values to support some decisions. not well explained in the a. The possibility of losing the the key species their heritage, diversity Promila and linked cultures are very high if the values are nor nor respected( Unsure what this refers to? 4 54 1789 1812 Kapoor Kapoor,2005). Pollinators are identified as key species ( Kapoor and Chapter 5? Usher, 1992) Ge Richard ner 0 0 This is an excellent SOD. Congratulations to the author team. Thanks! Corlett al Congratulations to everyone involved on this impressive piece of work; the IPBES pollination assessment is shaping up to be a really valuable contribution. I am now comfortable that the assessment builds on and reflects in appropriate ways the various contributions from IUCN on the Ge subject of pollination, notably a) the IUCN SSC Red List of Threatened ner Species http://www.iucnredlist.org and b) the IUCN CEM/SSC Worldwide Thomas al 0 Integrated Assessment of the Impact of Systemic Pesticides on Thanks! Brooks Co Biodiversity and Ecosystems mm http://link.springer.com/journal/11356/22/1/page/1, and citation to the ent specific papers therein. It is very important that these citations are retained through to the final publication of the IPBES pollination assessment, reflecting IPBES's mandate to build from existing work. I also make a few suggestions and comments on other points I noticed as appropriate. it was not clear what aspects of the statement the "unresolved element UK Yes, the role of economic 4 5 20 5 21 relates to - the role of economic valuation in itself in correcting these Government valuation. market failures? It is about the definition of it was not clear what aspects of the statement the "unresolved element UK value. The previous 4 5 30 5 31 relates to - this seemed a relatively uncontentious statement rather than Government comment demonstrates requirement for evidence to resolve? Example of non monetary value was more related to resilience of pollinator this. asset for delivery of services for crop production - not clear this was fully UK We rephrased the text to 4 12 188 12 191 teased out as this resilience issue is a characteristic of the stock with links Government improve clarity through to impacts on crop production that can be valued in monetary terms? I agree with distinction between price and value and that valuation is not UK about privatising nature. However I would question the comments that We rephrased the text to 4 12 208 12 209 Government then follow in relation to markets - it did not seem to be the place to be improve clarity making judgements about how well markets would work or not? paragraph could be better explained - it was not clear whether this was UK We rephrased the text to 4 14 255 14 266 around use values being only one component or marginal values being as Government improve clarity important as any total valuations UK feels very academic speak - what does this mean? For example what is Good point, changes have 4 20 423 20 426 Government "changing routines"? been made accordingly UK This is a long section and would benefit from a conclusion/summary which 4 21 437 39 990 See section 8 Government discusses policy implications, or linked it to section 8 The section has been I don't disagree with thinking about pollinators as capital. However, we extensively rewritten to seem to be conflating capital approaches with non monetary which does higlight the differenecs in not seem right - for example see UK Natural Capital Committee framework UK monetary and non- 4 36 907 36 907 approach which sets out assets, services, benefits, values. This might be Government monetary assessments of the language employed and the approach in the UK ecosystem accounts is capital. In particular, both to describe and quantify the assets as well as value the flow of although not explicitly services. Availablestate, the toolsuse of for capital is In mentioning InVest - this made me wonder if the chapter could usefully integrating valuation into UK point to any user friendly tools that make use of the valuation approaches 4 36 920 36 920 decision making are Government discussed earlier? For example, could InVest be described as using a covered between section 6 simplified production function approach? of this chapter and UK This section would benefit from a conclusion/summary which discusses 4 40 991 53 1365 See Section 8 Government policy implications, or linked it to section 8 UK Section would benefit from a conclusion/summary which discusses policy A summary should be 4 54 1378 60 1585 Government implications, or linked it to section 8 done on the section 8 UK Section would benefit from a conclusion/summary which discusses policy This has been done in 4 61 1586 69 1839 Government implications, or linked it to section 8 Section 8 We will add some example This section stops particularly abruptly – what are the policy implications? UK of economic valiuation in 4 70 1841 73 1935 What are the implications for our understanding of the case studies Government the policy process into reviewed in the next section? section 7. UK This is now covered in 4 74 1936 89 2272 No reflective conclusion provided for this section Government section 8 Section 8 of Chapter 4 is considered to be weakened by all other sections in this chapter lacking a conclusion and therefore seeming to end on a cliff- This section has been edge – so it is considered that each of the brief section summaries in entirely rewritten to better section 8 would be better placed at the end of the relevant section. It is UK reflect the suggestions of 4 90 2274 93 2387 also considered that Section 8 itself would benefit from a well thought out Government this and numerous other reflection on the case studies reviewed in section 7, combined with the reviewers, the co-chairs assessment on knowledge gaps in section 5, to produce a prioritised set of and Bureau recommendations for improving understanding of the economic benefits of pollinator services. This section has been UK entirely rewritten to better 4 90 2286 90 2296 does not seem to include all the market value methods discussed earlier? Government reflect the suggestions of this and numerous other This section has been discusses gaining consensus on economic valuation methods as part of entirely rewritten to better UK IPBES scope - is this something that will come out in other sections as 4 93 2374 93 2374 reflect the suggestions of Government seems to be more of a straight descriptions with some of the pros and cons this and numerous other but would be helpful to see strengthened views. Ge reviewers, the co-chairs I was impressed with the scope & depth of the assessment. Although I ner devoted most of my time to the Preface and the Summary for Policy USA al 0 0 Makers, I did look at all chapters and I believe that each provides a very Thanks! government Co useful global scale synthesis. I think that the Assessment will be very mm useful in framing discussions going forward. ent Suggest removing all of the conditional references including "(well USA This format is mandatory 4 5 1 8 1 established)"; "(Established but incomplete)"; "(unresolved)" either say why government for all the chapters. a statement is not inclusive or let it stand on its own merits The reviewer is correct, as It seems that a section on economic impact analysis could make a nice such we have developed a USA 4 5 1 addition to this chapter on economic value, but it is not a stand alone subsection within sections government section in the TOC 1 and 6 to refelect this: i.e Thewhat phrase is an economic does not Randy Rucker and Wally Thurmans work, using a model of demand for intend to make an absolute USA pollination services, addresses the consumer wellbeing question very well- 4 7 83 7 85 quantification of the government in fact they have won a number of award for their work; I would argue that accuracy but explain the their efforts are concensus "accurately estimated" Cropfactors pollination that influence depends such I believe this question pertains primarily to native pollinator populations, in not only on managed the States, there is-arguably-stability in managed pollinator populations-at pollinators but also on USA least in terms of availability to crop producers. There are no report of 4 8 102 8 110 properties of the pollinator government producers not being able to source hives for pollination services-simply assemblages (including reports about increased costs of pollination. That to me implies a stable both wild and managed supply or at least a sufficient supply. Inpollinators). fact, this statement "evidence of pollinator declines" is stated but I'd like to see some citations arrive after chapter 2 and 3 that support this. In the States, the number of hives have actually been where it is explained USA increasing over time per the NASS official estiamtes; I do not know of any 4 9 114 9 116 clearly the decline. government comprehensive studies of non-managed pollinator population counts that However the reviewer is would support a broad statement about declines in native pollinator right and some references populations. Selective declines, possibily. will be added. Indeed, valuation methods are context dependent, in particular, the timing These factors are of the valuation matters and it may be prudent to repeat valuations USA discussed in greater detail 4 9 160 9 162 regularily to get a sense of how the value changes over time. I'd like to see government in Section 3 and to some a more detailed discussion on the subjectivity/sensativity of valuations-in extent in Section 7. addition to the Spangenberg and Settele 2010 reference The notion of the indirect value of pollinators seems limited to ecosystem services, and not inclusive of the value that provision of pollination services The reviewer is right, we and co-products, like honey, beeswax, and their procurement create in USA will add a discussion on 4 12 182 12 191 surrounding economics. The concept of economic impact and multiplier government economic impact analysis effects is missing from the discussion. This concept is widely used to value in sections 1 and section 6. other industries and sectors-it seems incomplete to not include a discussion of this type of valuation in the present work USA 4 20 416 20 416 "…of the result to other issue…" issue seems to be missing an "s" Corrected government I take issue with the statement that the "first interest" is to convince policy- makers of anything; our jobs as researchers is to provide clear and USA We agree and made an 4 20 418 20 418 objective, facts-based research that can then be used to inform policy. It government alternative proposal need not always be "simple" either; the key to to be factual and avoid advocacy as the expense of accuracy With the exception of The authors summarize a good bit of the literature; however, there are a Daberkow et al (2009) USA few additions I suggest including and/or highlighting to a greater degree: 4 21 437 35 901 which was not available to government Mburu et al (2006); Burgett et al. 2010; Daberkow et al 2009; Bauer and the authours, the other Wing 2010; Allsop et al 2008, Kasina et al 2009; Gordon and Davis 2003; Thepapers, reviewer are cited is not either correct The method is not acurately described, typically the value of crops is in this instance, see the weighted by their proportion of dependency on pollinator or honey bee USA cited examples which take 4 21 441 21 441 pollination-often using the Morse and Calderone dependency ratios. No government the total market value of study that I know of simply aggregates the value of pollinated crops without pollinated crops as the doing and adjustment to account for this. value of pollination There are a number of variations on this method that have been used over time and evolved; modern valuation studies have used this technique as These methods are USA 4 21 455 21 455 well so I think to describe it for "historical reference" is slightly inaccurate. covered in depth over government Examples: M.D. Levin (1984); Robinson et all 1989; Morse and Calderone, subsequent methodologies. 2000; Calderone 2012; As explained above, this is a distinct method for estimating the economic impacts of pollinator losses. The authors would also contend that only Robinson et al could be considered seminal from a historic standpoint, It is not clear to me why this section is separate from the crop price however it is not the USA 4 24 541 24 570 discussion-these concept are integral. Also, several seminal pieces of work objective of this work to government in this area are not mentioned-see above. provide a complete history of the economic value of pollination services. Emphasis has instead been given to Lonsdorf et al (2012) as is is the most complete assessment to date and the one that is cited the most throughout For the non-market valuation section, I would like to see greater mention of Itthe is chapternot possible and summeryto valuing ecosystem services; the recreation and tourism literature as a lot to estimate meaningful value USA 4 37 949 37 957 say about amenity valuation-see much of the work of John Loomis-there of pollination services from government are several appropriate references that could be included in an expanded the use of non-market section instruments because they I would take out the statement "despite it's well recognized importance" in USA reference to the inclusion of pollination into marketing schemes; It soulds 4 52 1352 52 1353 Done government like an opinion and that tone should be avoided. The sentence would be fine if you dropped the the statement altogether. It is not true that few people publicly criticize To my knowledge, very few people publicly critcize the payment or PES, there's a large body transfers to support ecosystem services-perhaps eco-ethicists do-but the of literature on the subject. USA 4 52 1359 53 1361 recreation and tourism literature has many examples of wtp for amenities We increased the number government and the main criticism of these approaches is not the commodiciation of of citations in this part of nature. I disagree with the authors statement and would remove it. the text aiming to reflect that. The statement that the main criticism is the It bears repeating in multiple spots in this chapter, that there is limited information on pollinator populations and health-while the authors note These issues are largely there is limited economic information in these pages-I would argue that covered in Section 3. The USA much of this is relatively plentiful compared to the dirth of detailed, Reviewers comment is 4 68 1789 70 1842 government longitudinal data on pollinator populations and health. Also, information somewhat ambiguous and about site-specific environmental amentities and eco system services seems more intended for would be especially valued and that gap in the data could be emphasized Chapter 3? to a greater degree than it is at present. This section has been USA The wording in this sentence seems a little off, I think commodities appears entirely rewritten to better 4 92 2355 92 2356 government after the word "export" in error, suggest removing. reflect the suggestions of The first proposal "Through the IPBES platform, raise awareness…" this and numerous other sounds like advocacy and it seems inappropriate. Other proposals are similar in spirit with the exception of "Gaining concensus...". What the authors do in the previous pages of the chapter is to largely summarize the This section has been literature and explain where there are gaps in our understanding and entirely rewritten to better approaches. Doing research, gathering data, and coordinating activities USA reflect the suggestions of 4 92 2371 92 2373 such that these gaps are overcome are appropriate goals and are government this and numerous other supported by the earlier material in the chapter. Going from a science-relm reviewers, the co-chairs into advocacy seems like a poor use of researchers skills and will not and Bureau direcly address the gaps and needs identified herein. I suggested a revisions of the recommendations and that aligns with a rethinking about how we can answer questions about the economic value of the stability of Ge pollinators as opposed to advocating for more awareness. All chapter headings should be placed at the beginning of each heading. Formatting will be handled USA ner 0 For example, Chapter 1, Background, 1.1 should be at the start of line 4. seperately once the report government al For example, Chapter 2, Line 3 page 5 should have 2.2.1 at the start. is complete. Co Ge As with many group drafted documents, this draft is in need of a good The entire report has been ner editorial review, for both grammar and style consistencies. In particular, extesively checked for USA al grammar and spelling 0 our reviewers have noted many scientific names are lacking, the need for government Co throughout, although we proper use of italics for scientific names and et al ., consistent serial mm cannot guarantee that no commas and citation notations, and section / heading styles. Geent mistakes remain. There are sections of the document which speak directly about trying to ner We agree and have convince policy makers of something, or to take some action. Our USA al removed explicit 0 government scientists do not advocate, but strive to provide unbiased government Co recommendations from all science without directed outcomes. Some more specific comments are mm the chapter made in Chapter 4. ent Voahangy Bauer and Wing (2014) Raharimalal 4 28 687 29 733 Can you give example of general equilibrium model? has been stated as an a explicit example To date there is no Voahangy example of this study, this Raharimalal 4 29 735 31 795 Can you give example of production function? has been made explicit a with Ricketts and Lonsdorf Voahangy (ii) should be "the consequences of calculating the farmer gains or losses Raharimalal 4 45 1115 45 1119 Right due to pollination in agricultural production"? a Voahangy Raharimalal 4 46 1150 46 1150 Should be 3224 instead of 3223 Done a Voahangy Small changes were Raharimalal 4 52 1334 52 1338 I don't really understand the meaning of the sentence performed to improve a readability This does not appear to Voahangy relate to our chapter as the Raharimalal 4 62 1616 62 1625 the two methods are not well explained, the shape of the landscape as well text referred to is part of a Wetwo doparagraphs not understand that are this Voahangy Where would you range tree pollinated by bird for instance which is an comment, it may have Raharimalal 4 66 1724 isolated case? been intended for another a chapter We removed "(and must)" “... and pollination service can (and must) be evaluated in economic and extended the sentence Yann 4 9 121 9 121 terms...” Why must it be? Instead of this controversial statement, some to 1) reflect that this is not Kervinio reasons about why there is an interest of doing so could be given here. always First,necessary/appropriate we disagree with (asthe As the total value is presented as "the sum" of these value (line 124), I reviewer on the to have doubts regarding the relevance of the values presented in this chart. simplistic classification of More precisely, it is not clear how the indirect use values constitute a pollination as a regulation distinct and additive part of the value. For example, the value of wild flora service. Indeed the TEEB and fauna production could be the value of the aesthetic value, that would definition of ecosystem Yann already be included in the box on the left of it. Besides, the TEEB defines 4 11 174 11 175 services comes from the Kervinio the indirect use value as the values derived from the regulation services MEA definition provided by species and ecosystems, including pollination (TEEB, 2010, p. (MEA,2005). More recent 195), which is already assessed by the contribution of pollinators to crop publication considers production. Two recommendations 1) drop the indirect economic values pollination not as a from this chart 2) include the insurance value in this chart as this regulating service but as constitutes part of the following discussion. Confidencean intermediate intervals service are Yann Be more precise, for instance “by providing confidence intervals” instead of 4 13 231 13 231 not the only way to Kervinio “providing range of values” express uncertainty. Pollination was formerly described as an "intermediate service" (l.191) and this question focuses on whether its economic value corresponds to its actual contribution to a specific end good or service. I am not sure this We rephrased the title and Yann 4 14 257 14 266 replies to the question. I suggest to precise the question. For instance, "Is the paragraph to improve Kervinio the value of an intermediate ecosystem service such a pollination, the clarity. market value of the loss of a given end good or service in its absence?" The answer may also be adapted. The comment is quite This is too restrictive. Another possible purpose of the economic valuation right, and the sentence is to come as close as possible as the willingness to pay of a given has been modified decision maker or group for preserving or developing the ecosystem accordingly. Considering service. The evaluation may be adapted to specific ends if necessary and that the evaluation is go beyond the mere information on scarcity. For instance, if a decision related to one decision Yann maker is inequality averse and trades-off inequality against the efficiency in 4 15 297 15 299 maker perspective is Kervinio an explicit way, the evaluation could perfectly adjust the values obtained by certainly an important the wealth of the beneficiaries to get a value that would be closer to the question which is willingness to pay of such a decision-maker. All this goes beyond the mere discussed in more detail in information on scarcity as it may further informs about the beneficiaries section 6. The capacity of and allows for assessments based on distributive considerations. Rather economic valuation to say “an important purpose of the evaluation is to offer...” weigh value according to Excludability does not imply that the good is traded on a market and there is a price for it. More fundamentally, excludability depends on "whether or not it is possible to exclude a person from benefiting for a good given The reviewer is correct and Yann existing technologies and laws.". It is important not to blur the distinction 4 18 358 18 358 the text has been modified Kervinio between having the possibility to exclude and actually excluding and accordingly organizing a market. In the next paragraph, it would be more precise to say “non-excludable (once they are provided, no-one can be prevented from benefiting from them)”. “..., will not be affected or responsible for their choices and behaviors.” is not clear. Is the issue here to incentivize the relevant agents to take Yann We tried to make it clearer 4 18 379 18 380 measure to provide pollination services, or to hold them responsible of their Kervinio and more correct choice ? These are two distinct ends which could be kept clearly distinguished. The use of “utilitarian analysis” is confusing here. For instance, a utilitarian social welfare function was used to derive welfare weight in CBA in order to Agreed, a number of brief Yann account for distributional impacts of policies in the UK Treasury Green 4 19 398 19 398 references have been Kervinio book (2008, Appendix 5). The possibilities to reconcile CBA with social added justice by accounting for the distributional impacts in the assessment could be mentioned and the term “utilitarian” could be withdrawn here. Yann Why should alternatives be “technical”? “technical alternatives” may be 4 20 419 20 420 Corrected Kervinio replaced by “measures” or any other neutral term. This is a nice overview. Still, it is not clear how these methods relate to the different “values” of the service. While some of the methods measure a The values header has different benefit (the crop production or the contribution to lower the been changed to a more production costs), some could be considered as the assessments of the simple "measures". We same benefit (the contribution of pollination to the total value of crops net attempted to develop a Yann of their production cost). Each method may be feasible and valid in specific 4 21 437 35 874 typology in the initial draft Kervinio conditions (scale, whether replacement is more beneficial than substituting but this was rejected as crops) and some all would have to be performed simultaneously to be able most methods are too to assess the relevant one. This section would benefit from articulating similar in what they these methods in a unified framework rather than just presenting them measure. separately. This could be done in an introductory paragraph or as a conclusion. The authours disagree with the reviewers Replace “by showing how much available income consumers and phrasing. Surplus Yann producers would lose or gain...” by the "by estimating the willingness to pay of 4 27 649 27 649 represents a difference Kervinio all consumers and all producers for avoiding a given drop in pollinated crop between the overall availability" estimated willingess to Thepay andtext themakes actual it explicit price Actually, the production function approach could be seen as the most that this is a more accurate advanced estimation, which by estimating the production frontier, also method, however we are Yann informs about the producers' possibilities (substitution of crops, 4 31 782 31 787 required not to make Kervinio replacement of pollination) and allows to choose the most relevant method. recommendations so While no study achieved this, it would be interesting to to sketch this as an would rather avoid placing objective and under which assumption the different methods contribute to it. too strong an emphasis on Yann Aren’t the variable used there the crop price and the price of beehive The reviewer is right. We 4 44 1081 44 1081 Kervinio location rather than their variation? will remove "variation" This presentation of the discount rate may be improved. 1) Replace “focus We agree on points 1, 2 only on the future generation” by “focus more on the future generation”. 2) and 3. Regarding the point “the NPV increases as a function of time” does not make sense. It could be 4, we are focusing on the the weight attached to the welfare of individuals that increases but I am not maximized present value sure that negative discount rates should be emphasized that much. 3) criterion, where the “most of the economists assumes that the discount rate is positive”. This discount rate is essential Yann 4 46 1139 46 1149 sentence is correct, still it may delude the reader into thinking that the because the notion of time Kervinio discount rate is an objective parameter. It may rather be emphasized that it is determinant. The is a normative parameter (TEEB, 2010, chap 7). 4) It may be interesting to sustainability criterion present sustainability criteria as a complement or an alternative to raised by the reviewer is discounting (see e.g. Arrow, K., Dasgupta, P., Goulder, L., Daily, G., interesting but should not Ehrlich, P., Heal, G., ... & Walker, B. (2004). Are we consuming too much?. be introduce here, rather Journal of Economic Perspectives, 147-172.). on the section 1. The intention of this section is not to provide an in-depth discussion on Is it the place here to speak of payment for ecosystem services. This PES, which is discussed in Yann 4 52 1345 52 1365 suggests that the main purpose of valuation is to design payments, which more detail in Chapter 6. Kervinio is not true. It may also be used to feed in CBA or any evaluation process. The issue is addressed here because landscape spatial configuration Weaffects are valuation, deliberately and Yann For each part, it would be interesting to get a formal expression of how the 4 55 1439 55 1581 avoiding the use of Kervinio value is computed each time. economic modelling Yann 4 60 1579 60 1579 Where is the uncertainty in this data? Expand Kervinio I do not see why the welfare of consumer “is likely to be additive to the value of initial buyers”, nor why the neglect of the secondary market is “underestimating the total benefits of pollination services by neglecting a large proportion of beneficiaries”. It seems that what is meant here is that The value is additive the total welfare is the sum of the intermediary and consumer welfare. Still, because it is an additional it is not because the consumer welfare is not assessed that the impact on group of beneficiaries with Yann 4 69 1828 69 1830 consumers is neglected. If the initial buyer buys the crop at a high price a separate willingness to Kervinio because of lack of pollination, but sells it at a high price to the consumers, pay and therefore a the increase in cost is simply transferred from the intermediary to the separate consumer consumers. It seems that this information is most important to assess the surplus. distributive impacts of the loss of pollination but not to the total value. This point should be clarified (a chart could represent the consumer, producer and intermediary welfares). “the payment amounts need to be set according to the value of the service provided” is a strong normative and controversial statement as such. This Yann 4 70 1862 70 1864 could be weakened to “the value of the service provided could constitute Corrected Kervinio one basis for justifying the payment amounts”. Other basis could be the opportunity cost to the producer, which is actually most often used. Yann This section could be more precise about how the values obtained could be We modified the figure and 4 72 1908 72 1917 Kervinio used. some text in this way

Comment form for 2nd Review Phase of the Deliverable 3a) Thematic assessment of pollinators, pollination and food production Reviewer Ch Pg st Line st Pg end Line Reviewer Comment Author response end Serena Heckler 5 0 0 0 0 The chapter offers many potential approaches to improved NRM based on The text has been revised to incorporate this ILK. It would be good to see this more emphasised in the executive suggestion, both in chapter 5 and in chapter 6 summary, as this is what the policy-makers will be most interested in. I also believe that the authors of Chapter 6 should pick up on these ideas and integrate them more convincingly into their chapter, which frames its whole presentation on a model of industrial agriculture and western-style land management. The lessons that may be derived from small-scale, traditional forestry, agriculture and land management are completely absent from Chapter 6. Richard Corlett Genera 0 0 0 0 This is an excellent SOD. Congratulations to the author team. Positive feedback is appreciated l Liliana Bravo 5 0 0 0 0 General comments We agree that community dialogues would be helpful · My acknowledgement for the invaluable compilation of experiences which but time and budget do not allow. We have give voice to local incorporated your suggestions about more illustrative communities on different places. material · In accordance with time and budge, chapter might be supplemented with more inputs from community dialogues conducted on different locations around the globe e.g. farmers/peasants, afro-descendents communities, local or indigenous peoles who inhabit key/representative landscapes at global and regional scales. · It might be also useful to include photos of (i) workshops with indigenous and local communities; (ii) evidence of local knowledge related to how different communities tackle difficult situations related to pollination services and food security/sovereignty. · In addition to Figure 5 (Page 33), it might be also helpful to include more illustrations related to local names of pollinators, plants, (agroe)cosystems, habitats, etc. · Regarding methodological issues presented in the chapter (2.1 Diversity of sociocultural methods for eliciting values; 2.1.1 context and aims; 2.1.2 socio-cultural valuation methods), it might be practical to include that information on a type of appendix at the end of the report. Natasha Fijn 5 0 0 0 0 Overall a thorough overview of the literature. Positive feedback is appreciated Serena Heckler 5 0 0 0 0 This chapter is infinitely improved from the first order draft. There is no Positive feedback is appreciated comparison. It is an interesting, comprehensive analysis of a diverse literature which, to my knowledge, has never been synthesised before. In general, my comments are minor, referring to small points. There are minor copy-editing errors throughout, but I have only commented when they might make a substantive difference to the text.

Simone Athayde 5 0 0 0 0 Overall comment: Excellent chapter, very comprehensive and well-written. Positive feedback is appreciated The authors did really a great job on synthesizing and summarizing relevant information on this complex topic. Congratulations, and I look forward to the next draft! Patricia Balvanera 5 General 0 0 0 I would like to congratulate the lead and contributing authors of this Positive feedback is appreciated chapter for the wonderful work they have done. The new version is comme extremely relevant and well written. It will certainly be a very high nt benchmark for the following assessments on top of being an extremely important contribution to the issue of pollinators Geoff Hicks 5 0 0 0 0 General comment - It is good to see the valuable contribution that this ILK We have incorporated your suggestion and added a chapter brings to the whole discourse. We note however that despite the bat and a possum case example, and made reference chapter having a number of references to bats as pollinators, there is to a lizard. limited analysis of their loss due to disease or habitat loss/conversion. There is also limited if any reference to reptiles and small mammals, which is likely not to have been a high priority when searching databases or questioning of ILK holders. A couple of case studies on these species would be useful. Simone Athayde 5 0 0 0 0 Additional comment: I think that the authors forgot to include relevant ok aspects of the legal mechanisms protecting indigenous peoples knowledge about biodiversity, specifically the Convention on Biological Diversity (CBD).

E. Miriam 5 General 0 0 0 I would highly recommend a map of the locations of all the human groups Essential Aldasoro Maya mentioned in the chapter. comme nts: E. Miriam 5 General 0 0 0 Its a shame that in the key words included for the review, the word These topics are discussed in sections 2.1 and 2.4.2 Aldasoro Maya ethnoentomology was not considered, if there is still some time it would be comme very good to find more information for example on the socio-cultural value nts: of beetles and otehr insects besides bees and butterflies.

Sandra Diaz 5 6 1 6 1 Some of the key messages of this chapter are not mentioend explicitly The perspective has been incorporated and all the enough, or sharply enough in the SPM of the whole Assesment: Chapter 5 evidence about nature's benefits brought together in shows highly conviincing evidence that pollinators are a source of multiple a key message for the SPM benefits to people, well beyond the direct or indirect provision of food. This is not hihglighted explicilty enough in the key messages, especially in the case of non-indigenous societies. Sandra Diaz 5 6 1 6 1 Another key message that should be mentioned more explicilty in the SPM ok of the whole Assement: the fact that ILK about pollinators and their benefits and values is important to maintain their diversity, and the fact that ILK, in co-production with science, can be a source of solutions for the present challenges, does not appear with shapr enough focus at the level of the key messages. I suggest makiing an extra distillation effort to bring more specificity to the way pollinator-relevant ILK is reflected in the key messages. Liliana Bravo 5 6 2 6 2 Regarding the Executive Summary: The suggestion has been incorporated in the first key It might be helpful to include an introductory paragraph message describing/presenting the common thread running through the chapter.

Canadian 5 6 3 6 3 Insert “Western” before “science” on this line, since ILK also includes The text has been revised and this sentence is no Government science, it’s just a different form longer included. Denise Matias 5 6 3 6 4 I'm not exactly sure whether "science" and "ILK" can be pit against each The text has been revised so that "science" and "ilk" other. There may be instances when "ILK" can be explained by "science" are no longer pitted against each other and may just be a matter of further research. It may be good to qualify "science" here using additional words. Top off my head, "hard science"

Sandra Diaz 5 6 3 7 42 All the headline sentences of these paragraphs are good and relevant. ok However, there is too much on examples and detalis for an executive summary; e.g. lines 18-29 of page 6 do not need to be in such detail here; same with most of the text in lines 35-42 of page 7.

UK Government 5 6 3 6 4 This comment applies throughout the chapter and not only to the page and Your suggestion has been incorporated and other lines specified. The chapter discusses 'diverse knowledge systems, including knowledge systems recognised in section 5.1.1 and a those of science and of indigenous and local peoples'. These knowledge justification for the focus on science and ILK presented systems are crucial, but discussion seems to neglect lay knowledge in in 1.2 developed countries, and non-indigenous knowledge in developing countries Catherine 5 6 4 6 4 Pollinators could be usefully defined in first sentence with particular Your suggestion has been incorporated and other Robinson reference to unique and comparable foci of ILK and science contributions to knowledge systems recognised in section 5.1.1 and a the understanding and management of pollinators globally. For example - justification for the focus on science and ILK presented "Pollination describes the processes that enable fertilization and in 1.2 reproduction which have understood and managed across the globe using contributions from ILK and science. While science has focused on the agency of insects, animals and wind as pollinators, ILK has also considered the spiritual relationships and agency of people, the species and the country that gives and received life'. Catherine 5 6 4 6 4 Not convinced contribution of diverse knowledge systems is 'very well The text has been revised so that the statement is Robinson established'. I suggest 'established, but incomplete' because, as this chapter now somewhat different and the confidence now highlights, there are still gaps in knowledge systems built between ILK and assigned to well established science to understand and manage pollinators and the pollination process

Serena Heckler 5 6 5 6 6 Should be "socio-ecological knowledge" The more widely-accepted term in the scientific literature is social-ecological, so we have used this throughout. Samson Gwali 5 6 7 6 13 Try to avoid beginning a new sentence with an abbreviation! The text has been revised to correct this. Brondizio 5 12 12 the term "fuzzy logic" is not clear here and not fully explained elsewhere in The term is now described in section 5.1.5 the text. Perhaps add a parenthesis indicating that it is not a binary system, etc. Consider using an alternative term for the exec summary or explain it more clearly, for instance, instead of 'tatics as fuzzy logic' say 'based on complex ecological associations'[?]

Brondizio 5 13 14 This statement reads as contradicting with the statement in line 9; not The text has been revised and this statement is no useful and potentially problematic to stress the idea of separate ontologies; longer included suggest deleting the statement or replacing with a more constructive statement about the possibilities of advancing collaborative knowledge between scientific and ILK. Serena Heckler 5 6 13 6 14 It is a bit sweeping to suggest that [all] ILK systems are underpinned by The text has been revised and this statement is no different ontologies. More accurate to suggest that "many" ILK systems or longer included that they're "often" underpinned by different ontologies. After all, science itself is underpinned by an ontology grounded in a local knowledge system.

Simone Athayde 5 6 13 6 13 Suggestion: replace "ideas" by "perspectives" than those of science… The text has been revised and this statement is no longer included Canadian 5 6 14 6 14 Insert “Western” before “science” on this line, since ILK also includes The text has been revised and this statement is no Government science, it’s just a different form longer included Nicolas Cesard 5 6 18 18 Māori The spelling has been corrected E. Miriam 5 6 20 6 22 Specify where is from the Indigenous Leader mentioned, is he maori?, its The text has been revised to include an explanation "A Aldasoro Maya confusing group of Guna people, as representatives of the host people, atended the Global Dialogue Workshop on ILK of pollination and pollinators associated with food production, Panama City, 1-5 December 2014 (Lyver et al. 2015). These quotations are taken from their oral presentations at the Workshop.

Serena Heckler 5 6 20 6 21 Where is Enrico Elmer Gonzalez Lopez from? The way it is worded suggests The text has been revised to include an explanation "A that he's Maori, but not many Maori people are named Gonzalez Lopez. :-) group of Guna people, as representatives of the host people, atended the Global Dialogue Workshop on ILK of pollination and pollinators associated with food production, Panama City, 1-5 December 2014 (Lyver et al. 2015). These quotations are taken from their oral presentations at the Workshop.

Sandra Diaz 5 7 32 7 34 "ecosystem services and nature's gifts": if these two examples of categories ok by Western science and other knowledge systems are to be mainained, then make reference to nature's gifts or similar concepts somewhere in the uderlying text 9that now refers almost exclusivily to ecosystem services. Otherwise, replace "ecosystem goods and services and nature's gifts" with teh more incluive cateogry "nature's benefits to people" (see more general comment about this above).

Canadian 5 7 36 7 47 Are you referring to the same initiative by two different names? Pollinator The text has been revised to clarify that these are two Government Pathway and Pollinator Partnership? If yes, best to use the correct name in different initiatives both cases. The start of the sentence in line 47 is curious, and perhaps you meant to say “Partnerships like the Pollinator Pathway that support...” ?

E. Miriam 5 7 40 7 42 The last phrase is to general, the previous ones gives concrete examples, I a The text has been revised to incorporate this Aldasoro Maya concrete example may be included in orser to follow the style form the perspective see executive summary preivious phrases. Brondizio 5 44 47 this statement deserves to be highlighted as a key point in itself; may be it ok is the intention, but it is not in bold as the others; Simone Athayde 5 7 46 7 46 Suggestion: replace levels by scales - loca, regional, national, etc. ok Simon Potts 5 7 47 7 47 State briefly here what the "pollinator partnership" is. Expand on this in the ok main text as you use a lot of examples from this. Canadian 5 7 48 7 48 “Frames’ is not a concept commonly used in the policy and government ok Government sector (assuming you are referring to e.g. Tom Crompton’s 2010 report that is cited in the biblio but not cited on this line in page 7, where the term first appears). At the moment it’s not in the 3d glossary.

Canadian 5 7 54 7 54 are mutually constituted? (wording) The phrasing has been revised to "mutually Government supportive" E. Miriam 5 7 54 7 55 Review the phrase, and as already mentioned in the review of the definition The text has been rewritten to include the simple Aldasoro Maya of biocultural diversity in the Glosary, the concepts that are included can be definition "The concept of biocultural diversity more specific and go deeper on the meaning of talking about biocultural recognises that culture and nature are integrated diversity. through a mutual process of adaptation and co- evolution. " Natasha Fijn 5 7 54 55 Some cultures do not necessarily dichotomise the world into nature versus The text has been revised and this sentence is no culture. Nature and culture could be referred to as nature-culture. This is longer included covered later but should perhaps be introduced here too, as the biodiversity literature does tend to slip into these dichotomies.

Simone Athayde 5 7 55 7 55 The term "natural diversity" is ackward and non-common sense. I suggest The text has been revised and this sentence is no that the authors use biological diversity, which is the correct and widely longer included used term, including its political implications. This echoes my previous comments about "nature services" in the summary for policy-makers.

Nicolas Cesard 5 7 59 Kawaiweté people in the Brazilian Amazon ok Brondizio 5 63 67 this statement needs ellaboration; it is circular; it could be more directly The answer is below linked to the importance of landscape level interactions (see comment below) Brondizio 5 69 78 this statement also captures the importance of landscape level interactions The text has been revised to incorporate "landscape" (cultural, management, governance, etc), but the word landscape does not see Exectuive summary appear; given that the term landscape appears throughout the chapter, it deserves a mention in the exec summary, such as talking about the importance of landscape level governance; landscape seems one of the integrative points coming across many of the key messages; Sandra Diaz 5 8 69 8 78 The main point of this paragraph seems to be the fact that the spatial and ok temporal heterogeneity associated to small land holdings managed according to ILK is good for pollinators and pollination. But it gets lost among an number of (important) issues which are either too general or too specific without being central to pollination. Please rephrase in a simpler, more essential way, to highlight the key message.

Jyothis 5 72 72 two times use of "83% of farms", "83% of the global population" The text has been revised and this sentence is no Sathyapalan longer included Sandra Diaz 5 8 80 8 86 I suggest deleting the 286-projects example. First, it is far too specific for The text has been revised and this sentence is no this section. Second, in order not to cause misunderstandings, "yield" longer included would have to be specified, which will not serve the purpose of an : executive summary". The message is clear enough without the example, which can be addressed in full detail in the underlying text.

Sebsebe Demissew 5 8 81 83 "For example, one study project………an average o 79% yield increase". In The text has been revised and this sentence is no which country or Region? longer included Natasha Fijn 5 8 82 83 Where was the location to put these stats into context. The text has been revised and this sentence is no longer included Samson Gwali 5 8 82 8 82 Replace "chiefly" with "mainly" The text has been revised and this sentence is no longer included Daniela Leite 5 8 83 8 84 It looks like that instead of "food insecurity" it would be more appropriated The text has been revised and this sentence is no change for "food security". longer included Serena Heckler 5 8 84 8 84 Should be "increase food security", not "increase food insecurity" The text has been revised and this sentence is no longer included UK Government 5 8 84 Reference to 'food in security' should be 'food security'. The text has been revised and this sentence is no longer included Brondizio 5 87 96 the key message in bold is really important and perhaps should be moved The text has been revised to incorporate this up; however the text focuses on beekeeping. Perhaps have one example perspective with a new message on food consumption focusing on beekeeping and another one focusing on plant food production and a separate on on beekeeping as an anchor see for comsumption and commercial ends. executive summary Samson Gwali 5 8 87 8 96 Well taken! Bees are the most important pollinators. It would, however, be The text has been revised to incorporate this prudent to mention how other pollinators, such as beetles, birds, perspective with a new message on food butterflies, wasps, flies, moths! In Uganda, the great diversity of butterflies consumption, with a range of pollinators involved, and around Mabira forest reserve is one of the "pull factors" for many tourists a separate on on beekeeping as an anchor see to the country. executive summary Sandra Diaz 5 8 87 8 96 I suggest deleting the sentence starting in line 91. Also, I suggest moving The sentence has been dele as suggested and the this paragraph about livelihoods immedaitely before the one starting in line livelihoods paragraph moved 31, page 6. Nicolas Cesard 5 8 88 88 Beekeeping and honey harvesting provide Honey hunting has now been included in this key message Denise Matias 5 8 88 8 88 How about including wild honey bee hunting and not just beekeeping? In Honey hunting has now been included in this key South and Southeast Asia these also greatly contribute to livelihood of message indigenous wild honey hunter and gatherers.

Canadian 5 8 89 8 89 Re: ‘land ownership or rental is usually not necessary’ – is this true? In The text has been revised and now refers to "diverse Government Canada at least many apiaries are part of a farm’s mix of activities, based on forms of ownership support access ownership or rental. Beekeepers also sometimes make agreements with rural landowners to place the hives on their property. No doubt this varies from one part of the world to another, so maybe say ‘land ownership or rental is not always necessary’.

P.S. Bhatnagar 5 8 91 8 95 a map with geographical locations and name of innovation and if possible, A map has been included of the case examples in the name of person[s] or community who introduced that innovation related to chapter traditional beekeeping , will convey the idea more strongly.

Sebsebe Demissew 5 8 94 95 How iare hive products used in mettalurgy? May be referenced but good to The reference to metallurgy remains in the text but know. not in the executive summary as it is not a significant use in contemporary cultures, but rather of heritage importance Nicolas Cesard 5 8 98 8 98 ... exist for beekeeping and honey harvesting as a sustainable livelihood... Honey hunting has now been included in this key message Samson Gwali 5 9 103 9 106 Sentence not clear! It could perhaps be split into two sentences! ok Sandra Diaz 5 9 103 9 106 Replace “the diverse socio-cultural values of pollinators are……and also be ok the homogenizing effects” with “the diverse benefits and values of pollinators are…. And by the homogenizing effects’

UK Government 5 9 103 9 103 The chapter states 'the diverse socio-cultural values of pollinators are negatively impacted by pollinator declines'. If this relates to the experience of indigenous and local peoples, it would be helpful to make this explicit. In developed societies there may be a more complex relationship between socio-cultural values and pollinator diversity and abundance ok Canadian 5 9 103 9 114 very good para. thank you Government Samson Gwali 5 9 106 9 106 Sentence should not begin with an abbreviation! This should be done for all Sentence could be re-written to begin as follows: sentences where an abbreviation appears at the beginning. "Holders of ILK …." UK Government 5 9 110 9 111 The chapter states 'broader socio-cultural impacts of pollinator decline We look forward to this publication which beyond indigenous peoples and local communities have not been well unfortunately will not be available in time for this documented'. The current UK Government Department for Environment assessment. Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) project on 'Social and cultural values of pollinators' will provide evidence to help fill the gap in this area - see http://randd.defra.gov.uk/Default.aspx?Menu=Menu&Module=More&Loca tion=None&ProjectID=19620&FromSearch=Y&Publisher=1&SearchText=PH0 523&SortString=ProjectCode&SortOrder=Asc&Paging=10#Description

Brondizio 5 112 112 why not adding macronutients too? ok Samson Gwali 5 9 113 9 113 Insert the word "as" between "such" and "butterflies" ok Sandra Diaz 5 9 116 9 117 Define what is meant by "dimensions", or use a more precise term; replace ok "pollination services' with "their benefits to people" Simone Athayde 5 9 116 9 116 Repeating my comment for the policy chapter, I suggest to take out ok "harmonising". Instead, you could use "combining", inter-relating, coordinating, which imply negotiating knowledges but not necessarily reaching an "harmonic state", since different knowledge systems and the attitudes deriving from them might be quite incompatible and even impossible to be harmonized (e.g. spiritual values and monetary values).

UK Government 5 9 116 9 126 This paragraph makes the case that knowledge co-production and harmonisation can assist in restoring pollinators, pollination services and socio-cultural values. This seems a significant claim and further explanation and examples would be useful - what are the links in the chains envisaged here, and what are the enablers and barriers? ok Sandra Diaz 5 9 124 9 354 "the credibility, status, and trust enjoyed by a diverse raange of people" ok meaning unclear in this specific context. Syed Md. Zainul 5 10 128 10 144 "Guna leaders" should be defined either in text or in glossary Your suggestion has been incorporated, the sentence Abedin now reads "A group of Guna people, as representatives of the host people, atended the Global Dialogue Workshop on ILK of pollination and pollinators associated with food production, Panama City, 1-5 December 2014 {Lyver, 2015 #221}. Thes quotations are taken from their oral presentations at the Workshop. " Charlotte vant 5 10 128 10 144 Since the chapter is part of the overal publication a preamble might not be Your suggestion has been incorporated. The Klooster correct here? A preamble contains a brief introductory statement that sets "Preamble" has been changed to "Foreword to out the guiding purpose and principles of the manuscript. The quotes can Chapter 5". The last two sentences of the first be added as good illustrations but not as a stand alone for a preamble paragraph of 5.1.1 briefly summarises the content of although it nicely illustrates the cosmovision of the Guna. What is the main the chapter "Assessment of the values of the objective of the chapter? What are the gaps to be filled in? Please introduce contribution of pollination and pollinators to nature’s how is the chapter structured as well to make it easier for the reader to benefits to people, and to good quality of life, follow. therefore requires diverse valuation methods. In this chapter, we provide an assessment of these values based on scientific and indigenous and local peoples’ knowledge systems, and on socio-cultural and holistic valuation approaches (Figure 5.1). The last paragraph of 5.1.1 now sets out what is in each section of the chapter. Sebsebe Demissew 5 10 130 130 …………………………………...Maybe is it one word or two words? We have checked the English standard, in this context maybe is one word. As two separate words the meaning is different. Canadian 5 5 137 circularity in definition of direct drivers as drivers that operate directly. ok Government "values" and "well-being" are likely intended to be separate entries.

UK Government 5 10 146 16 349 The Introduction (Part 1) should be more clearly structured. It should make We have revised the introduction ato make reference reference to the conceptual framework, and use that to describe and justify to the CF and restructured the chapter accordingly. the structure of this chapter. Part 2 now addresses nature's benefits to people, and part 3 good quality of life Stephan Lorenz 5 10 147 14 272 The text starts by addressing the diversity of ‘different groups or societies’ We have incorporated your suggestions and moved with ‘their own ways of life, knowledge systems, practices and philosophies’ away from using the basic ontologies of Descola. (148f.) that ‘are so different from one place to another, and even from one Instead we have focused on diverse knowledge group to another, even for peoples living in the same type of environment’ systems (5.1.1), and justified our focus on ILK and (153f.). To explain these differences the text resorts to basic ontologies. science in 5.1.2. These removes the confusion in the Referring to Descola four ontologies are given. (1) These distinctions can be other sections referred to. We have included helpful to understand basic cultural differences. However, they reduce the reference to German bee-keeping trends in 5.2.3, differences and do not provide a sufficient understanding of cultural and citing the Lorena and Stark paper. We have included social diversity. While we obtain a few abstract categories we lose the information about the perspectives of bee-keepers on diversity within these separated views. To draw a few baselines leaves a gap CCD in section 4.2 "Peoples' experiences of declines" to understand the addressed diversity. (2) In the following parts the text citing the sources provided. Suryanarayanan, differentiates mainly between ‘science-based knowledge systems’ and Sainath., and Daniel L. Kleinman. 2013. “Be(e)coming ‘indigenous peoples’ and local communities’s knowledge systems’ (ILK) experts: The controversy over insecticides in the (255f.). The science view should represent the Western/ ‘Euroamericans’ honey bee colony collapse disorder.” Social Studies of (193f.) ontology while ILK stands for the diversity of all other ontologies. A) Science 43 (2): 215–40; Suryanarayanan, Sainath., and The four-ontologies-conception is reduced to a dual one here – why? B) Daniel L. Kleinman. 2014. “Beekeeper’s collective There is a misunderstanding of the Western naturalist ontology if it is only resistance and the politics of pesticide regulation in supposed to be represented by natural science. A clear-cut distance from France and the United States.” Political Power and nature (194f.) is not only the basis of modern scientific thinking and Social Theory 27: 89-122; Lorenz, Stephan, and Kerstin experimentation but also of economic and technological utilization, Stark 2015: “Saving the honeybees in Berlin? A case aesthetic pleasure (e.g. the beauty of landscapes) and moralizing (e.g. study of the urban beekeeping boom.” Environmental romanticism). Thus, the Western nature conception is far more complicated Sociology 1 (2): 116-126; Lorenz, Stephan, and Kerstin and ambivalent. Just think of pets that are often beloved and far away from Stark (Eds.) 2015: Menschen und Bienen. Ein the cited machines of Descartes (218). Latour’s book title ‘We have never nachhaltiges Miteinander in Gefahr. München: been modern’ provides a good example: He criticizes modern thinking of Oekom-Verlag nature-culture distinction because this thinking does not represent actual practices. The modernity of the ‘modern’ is characterized by a self- misunderstanding. Paradoxically, the modern are modern because they are not modern but thinking in modern distinctions – they are modern and not modern at the same time. (3) Therefore, the given ontologies need further differentiations not only on the side of ILK. If we only assume one single Brondizio 5 147 211 this introduction has important points, but comes across as over-stressing Your suggestion has been incorporated and we have ontologival differences as a fundamental divide; as the chapter shows, moved away from a focus on the Descola typology to when it comes to knowledge and relationships between people and nature a more nuanced recognition of the connections (and pollinators) there are more ontological hybridisms than separations; between knowledge systems, culture (and ontology), the section explicitly tries to separate the ontology from culture entering and epistemology, as emerging of interaction and into a domain which it cannot expand; the rich examples in the chapter experiences associated with place, dynamic and show much more nuanced and complex relationships than that evolving from praxis, while avoiding distinct characterized by an ontological typology; typologies are by nature limited, typologies. See revised 5.1.1 and 5.1.2 but can be more or less useful depending on how it is used; in the case of the chapter it seems to be more limiting than productive; Furthermore, by taking one particular approach (mainly Descola's) to represent what is actually a large and diverse area of scholarship related to discussions about culture and nature dualism, it puts itself in a difficult conceptual position (besides steping intointo political and disciplinary discussions about ontologies), which do not seem to reflect many of the cases and examples presented in the chapter. While I admire and appreciate and use Descola's categories in particular instances, it is important to understand its limitations to the problem at hand. Other approaches (T. Ingold's for instance see phrase in lines 803 and 804 and related discussion) focus on knowledge, culture (and ontology) as emerging of interaction and experiences associated with place, dynamic and evolving from praxis, while avoiding distinct typologies. In sum, while the discussion is important, this framework is more limiting than productive and could be summarized;

Jyothis 5 10 147 12 211 An eastern perspective may be referred in the subsection "Diversities of Your suggestion has been incorporated and we have Sathyapalan ontologies and vision", based on ontology in Indian philosophy , moved away from the basic Descola typology to recognition of more dynamic approaches configured around concepts of knowledge systems. This is to get a balance view Catherine 5 10 147 10 10 Suggest a few introductory paragraphs that outlines the chapter and Your suggestion has been incorporated and such a Robinson explains how it links in with broader volume. This will help prepare the paragraph now appears as the last paragraph of 5.1.1, reader to read about an important but I suspect a unique subset of this and also in the last two sentences of the first work paragraph of 5.1.1 Canadian 5 10 147 12 211 A discussion of cosmology, ontology, and epistemology is definitely Your suggestion has been incorporated and we now Government warranted in IPBES assessments due to the holism inherent in the explicitly refer to epistemology in 5.1.1 as well as conceptual framework. ontology. Cosmology and cosmogony appear in several parts of the chapter e.g. case example 21, section 5.3.4, 5.4.1.2, . Liliana Bravo 5 10 148 10 154 Regarding cultural diversity, it might be useful to include information about Your suggestion has been incorporated in a map how many different showing the location of all the groups mentioned in indigenous peoples and other local groups are being considered. For the chapter. We have also included a map of linguistic instance, at gobal level diversity and information about biocultural diversity in or or by continent could be interesting (it could be according to Unesco). 5.1.3

Liliana Bravo 5 10 148 12 211 It might be helpful to include an example of a zone/landscape where ok different manners of relationship can be illustraded: from an indigenous people viewpoint and from a western society perspective. For instance, a high moiuntain ecosystem in the Andes of South America can be appreciated as a sacred place where deities inhabit, whereas it is also valued as water source or even as a source of coald/gold mining by western groups. UK Government 5 10 155 10 155 Chapter refers to western separation of nature and culture - would be good The text has been revised and now recognises to say this is the dominant view? There is an extensive western social plurality of views amongst both western and ILK science literature that challenges this separation knowledge systems see 1.1 UK Government 5 10 155 11 160 The link between the Cartesian dualism (mind versus body and Nature Your suggestion has been clarified and the link versus Culture) and the rise of anthropocentric view of Nature is not clear. between Newtonian mechanics and dualism explained The idea that human can and should master the environment is rooted in in 5.1.1, including a citation of the source provided. “the scientific revolution of the 17th century and particularly the rise of The attribution of dualism to Christianity has been Newtonian mechanics” when Enlightenment “replaced the previous removed, as we agree this introduces unnecessary meaning of nature as a metaphysical order with a divine origin and instead confusion. portrayed it as a machine whose behaviour could be predicted by mathematical rules and monitored by command-and-control systems…. It was believed that, by uncovering the secrets of nature through instrumental reason, humans could conquer the clockwork Universe and overcome its material scarcity. By stripping nature from its divinity and symbolic values, science and technology gave humans both the means and the right to exploit it.” (Davoudi S. (2014) Climate change, securitisation of nature, and resilient urbanism, Environment and Planning C: Government and Policy 32(2) 360 – 375) Liliana Bravo 5 10 155 11 160 It might be of interest for chapter's authors to take into account two The points you have raised are beyond the scope of suggested references: this chapter. 1) Michel Foucault. The Order of Things - An Archaeology of the Human Sciences. See in particular Chapter V: Classifying. Author describes, inter alia, the period (the 17th century) by which appears the "Natural History". Before that time a plant/animal was described by including a broad spectrum of characteristics: components, organs, virtues, similarities, legends, stories of travellers and people in former times, importance as food, medicinal properties, etc. After cited period, a new manner of representation appears which will have room to the development of Linneo's Classification. 2) White, L. (1967). "The historical roots of our ecologic crisis". Science155 (3767):1203-1207 Author describes how religion has promoted a notion of humans as masters of nature with catastrophic environmental consequences to date. However, this article also proposes alternatives as taking account of ideas inspired in San Francisco de Asis. Those are related to the respect for every live being in nature at the same level of importance as humans. Sebsebe Demissew 5 11 159 160 ….."good part humanity…...". Does this mean the major part of the world or This section has been rewritten and the claim for a those thinking in the non-western philodphy? "good part of humanity" no longer appears. Liliana Bravo 5 11 161 12 211 This part presents an interesting conceptual framework but it might be Your suggestion has been incorporated and the useful to use simpler section rewritten see 5.1.1 language that facilitates its reading; perhaps by including some examples.

UK Government 5 11 166 11 167 Is it about ontologies or is it indeed about epistemologies (i.e. how we Your suggestion has been incorporated and we now come to know the world)? explicitly refer to epistemology in 5.1.1 as well as ontology. Samson Gwali 5 11 173 11 173 Replace "by products" with "by-products" The quotation from Descola is no longer included. UK Government 5 11 175 11 176 Add: how we perceive the world and our relation to it. The quotation from Descola is no longer included.

Charlotte vant 5 11 180 11 182 Please add reference after multiple cultures. Be careful with comparison Your suggestion has been incorporated in the revised Klooster Amerindian ontology versus term 'Westerners'. Western phylosophy? text see 5.1.1

UK Government 5 11 180 11 182 The split between westerners and others is not helpful and can be The text has been revised to move away from problematic. Westerners are not a unified block. Used outside their presenting a binary towards recognising diversity of context, these binaries can be misleading. Throughout history, many knowledge systems and ontologies, including diverse ‘westerners’ have believed in and advocated a biocentric view of nature perspectives within western societies and within “which considers humans as members of an interconnected ‘web of life’ … indigenous peoples and local communities. A citation and an integral part of nature, rather than its master or steward” (Davoudi, to the Davoudi source has been included. see 5.1.1 2014). A particularly important example is the Romantic movements in Europe. On the other hand, many of the examples used in the chapter with regard to the values of ‘indigenous’ population show a great deal of functional and utilitarian perspectives on pollinators (and on Nature). So, although there maybe links between types of cultures and types of values, there is a huge amount of diversity within cultures which makes it difficult to talk about ‘westerners’ as a unified group and ‘indigenous’ as another unified group. Davoudi S. (2014) Climate change, securitisation of nature, and resilient urbanism, Environment and Planning C: Government and Policy 32(2) 360 – 375

UK Government 5 12 198 12 209 This paragraph is not clear. What does ‘ontological foundation of The text has been substantially revised and the knowledge’ mean? The link between ontology and epistemology is not paragraph largely deleted. We now carefully explain made clear. epistemology and ontology in the second and third paragraphs of 5.1.1 Serena Heckler 5 12 199 12 199 Be careful in quoting Frazer--his idea of Totemism was not as Descola Your suggestion has been incorporated and the describes it and his ethnography is not seen as being particularly credible. reference to Frazer no longer occurs in Chapter 5.

Jyothis 5 12 213 14 272 Highly philosophical, many technical usages , making it difficult to We have incorporated your suggestion and revised Sathyapalan understand, this material to remove the highly philosophical material and focus more clearly on the IPBES Conceptual Framework UK Government 5 12 213 14 261 Some fundamental and interesting points are presented here but they are We have incorporated your suggestion and revised presented in a highly disjointed and vague fashion with little evidence to this material to remove the material that is presented substantiate some of the claims. A better flow of argument and better without substantiation and focus more clearly on the ordering of the materials presented are needed. IPBES Conceptual Framework Brondizio 5 214 217 Along the same comments above, here is a example of the limitations of The text has been rewritten to move from a typology framing the whole chapter around ontological differences; One could say of ontologies to a more nuanced recognition of that this paragraph on ethics and values is arguebly naïve and misleading. dynamism and diversity in knowledge systems. See Why not also highlight that 'values and ethics' are shaped by historical and 5.1.1 and 5.1.2 political processes, religious institutions, etc..? all these are inter-related; reducing these complexities to a typology of ontologies can not be sustained.

Canadian 5 12 214 14 283 Yes, ok. Interesting graphic. One could condsider that sociocultural values Your suggestion has been incorporated and we have Government are as defined above, in which case they could be relevant to ILK systems – included examples of socio-cultural valuation with ILK- it may be partly a matter of how one defines sociocultural values. The holders in part 2 definition above can be consistent with relational ontologies because it is not instrumentalist, reductionist, or utilitarian and can draw on approaches ranging from phenomenology (experience and perception of the world) to constructivism (creation of the world).

UK Government 5 12 214 12 217 Chapter states 'Values and ethics are influenced by the specific ontologies This topic is now address in section 5.1.4, with a and worldviews in which they are grounded. Values do not exist on their further source to support the argument own'. The points made in this paragraph seem useful - and are often overlooked Nicolas Cesard 5 12 217 ... examining the underlying ontologies (and their values ?) The text has been revised and the statement about 'examining the underlying ontologies' is now longer included Brondizio 5 233 234 this statement is problematic and symptomatic of the limitations of the Your suggestion has been incorporated in section approach taken in the chapter. The issue is not about about disappearing 5.1.1 with the sentence 'Knowledge systems, and ontologies as if they existed statically in the past (which the statement their underlying ontologies and epistemologies, are suggests); the key questions are about how "ontologies" (culture; or people- dynamic, transforming and adapting to changing nature interaction) trasform and change! interactions and conditions. ' Catherine 5 13 233 13 234 I agree that ontologies do not disapear with modernization but they can Your suggestion has been incorporated into section Robinson certainly adapt. It would be useful to include a section on this adaptation as 5.1.1, including a citation to the source provided. it relates to understanding and managing pollination. For example, many Indigenous communities have had to adapt their ontologies and knowledge systems to consider and manage pollination processes caused by introduced species and this has required new partnerships with scientists (for example see account of Girringun Aboriginal Corporation's response to myrtle rust - Robinson CJ, Maclean K, Hill R, Bock E, Rist P. 2015. Participatory mapping to negotiate Indigenous knowledge used to assess environmental risk. Sustainability Science . DOI:10.1007/s11625-015-0292- x). UK Government 5 13 233 13 234 'Ontologies do not disappear with modernization' - again this is in relation The text has been revised to recognise that ontologies to indigenous communities but is also true in western societies are dynamic in all societies, see 5.1.1

Liliana Bravo 5 13 235 13 244 For instance, it might be useful to include info about matching areas where ok indigenous peoples inhabit with biodiversity hotspots. There is a relevant coincidence. Conservation International may have info on this matter. That is also related to Figure 2 on page 17.

Nicolas Cesard 5 13 245 Māori Your correction has been incorporated Nicolas Cesard 5 14 251 252 (Césard and Heri 2015) Your correction to the source has been incorporated

Charlotte vant 5 14 254 14 272 In this chapter we divide our analysis of socia-cultural values….. => This is The text has been revised and this sentence has been Klooster part on analysis should be moved to your methodology removed; instead we include an introduction to the various sections of the chapter see the last paragraph of 5.1.1 Brondizio 5 254 272 as discussed above, framing the chapter in terms of ontologies vis-à-vis for The text has been revised to incorporate this instance 'knowledge systems' creates all sorts of conceptual and pratical perspective; we now recognise diversity and problems. For instance, the contradiction starts in figure 1. the starting dynamism of knowledge systems and ontologies, and point is a dualistic view of the world (a point already criticized in the use the IPBES Conceptual Framework to develop the chapter earlier), then by dividing ontologies into two groups; on what logic of the chapter, as suggested by many reviewers. grounds "science based knowledge systems" can or should be recognized as an 'ontology' or "indigenous peoples and local communities knowledge systems' be grouped as in some way sharing some sort of broad ontological category. The third row is also misleading as it makes assumption that all science-based approaches separate intrinsic value from anthropogenic values; granted that the MEP decided to separate these in the IPBES conceptual framework, many would argue that intrinsic values are largely anthropogenic values and their separation a misleading construct in the first place; further, the figure suggests that all indigenous and local community knowledge are holistic; it depends on what holism means; further and perhaps more problematic, it separates economic, biophysical, and sociocultural valuation approaches from indigenous and local communities which is mesleading and does match the wealth of examples and cases presented in the chapter.

UK Government 5 14 254 14 256 Again the chapter distinguishes between science-based knowledge systems The text has been revised to incorporate this and indigenous peoples' and local communities' knowledge systems. perspective; we now recognise diversity and Previous discussion links knowledge systems with spiritual belief systems dynamism of knowledge systems and ontologies, and (e.g., lines 239-252). It might be useful to include some discussion of how use the IPBES Conceptual Framework to develop the science-based knowledge systems and religion may be linked in western logic of the chapter, as suggested by many reviewers. societies? E. Miriam 5 14 254 14 254 Review the phrase"... basis of diverse of ontologies" ok Aldasoro Maya Simone Athayde 5 14 255 14 255 I suggest that the authors include a paragraph distinguinshing between the Your perspective on diverse and dynamic ontologies different epistemologies that might be included in what is described as and epistemologies has been incorporated in 5.1.1 "science-based" knowledge systems or ontologies. It is important to including a ditation to the Repko source. Literature: recognize that not all academic knowledge embraces a positivistic (from Repko, A. F. 2012. Interdisciplinary Research: Process Descartes and many others) approach to studying the world. The positivistic and Theory. 2 ed. Sage, Thousand Oaks. Foucault, M. and post-positivistic approaches are mostly embraced by what is known as 1994. The order of things. An archaeology of the "hard sciences", that use hypotheses testing and the scientific method. The human sciences. New York, Vintage books. Frodeman, object is out there and the subject observes the world without interfering in R. ed. 2010. The Oxford handbook of the world. Other academic fields, including social sciences and humanities, interdisciplinarity. Oxford, New York: Oxford are characterized by what is known as "epistemological pluralism", University Press. Creswell, J. W. 2014. Research adopting many methods to study the world and embacing different design: qualitative, quantitative and mixed scholarly streams of throught. Anthropology as a scientific field, for approaches. 4th ed. Thousand Oaks, Sage. instance, cannot be classified solely as cartesian, naturalist or post- positivist. It has many approaches and methods, including port-modernist perspectives which aim to break the distinction between the subject-object elements in research. I just think it is important to clarify these distinctions, and I can offer some literature on epistemiology to help if needed.

Sandra Diaz 5 14 261 Figure 1: Please, to the best possible extent, try to be conssitent with the The figure has been revised to be consistent with the value/valuation terminology and categories proposed by the IPBES CF and IPBES CF and the Valuation Guide. its recent document on Diverse Valuations (3D, to be avaiable shortly)

Catherine 5 14 261 14 261 Figure 1 is an excellent overview of this chapter and how it relates to overall The figure has been revised to be consistent with the Robinson volume. There is an important edit to consider - the authors label 'diverse IPBES CF and the Valuation Guide. While it does not knowlegde systems' to reflect different knowledge systems (science and specifically represent combined/negotiated ILK) and also use the term 'diverse' to discuss a combination of science and knowledge, these are referred to in the definition of ILK systems to create ontologies and socio-cultural contexts. Perhaps ILK, and the text, see 5.1.2 , and the sentence 'The consider another term (line 264) to 'diverse' to show that this reflects a definition also recognizes that hybrid forms of combination / negotiation of multiple knowledge systems and values that knowledge, negotiated between science, practice, relate to a given context technical, and ILK systems, and variously termed “usable knowledge”, “working knowledge”, “actionable knowledge”, “situated knowledge” and “ multiple evidence base” are frequently applied pragmatically to the challenges of biodiversity loss (Barber et al. 2014, Tengö et al. 2014, Robinson et al. 2015). " Patricia Balvanera 5 14 261 14 270 Please cite here the first version of the IPBES document on diverse Your suggestion has been incorporated and the source conceptualizations of value and add a a few words on how the approach cited in 5.1.1 used here is compatible (or not) with that document Sandra Diaz 5 14 261 Figure 1. is the correct term "valuation fra,ewokrs and approaches" or Figure 1 has been revised to take account of this "frameworks and valuationa approaches' as stated on line 280 of the text? perspective.

UK Government 5 14 271 14 271 Practices and ethics are also important in western societies This perspective is acknowledged in 5.2.1 "While many practices and ethics outside of indigenous peoples and local communities could also be considered as nature’s gifts, the scope of this assessment did not extend to investigating this dimension. " Brondizio 5 273 283 these are good points, but the section deserves first a definition and Your suggestion has been incorporated and the discussion of knowledge systems regarding polination; for instance, as material now integrated into section 5.1.1 beinggning called attention in the first item of the exec summaryor in sections such as with a discussion of knowledge systems regarding in lines 836-840; polliantions UK Government 5 14 273 Section 1.3 (starting from line 273) mixes theories of knowledge (which it This section has been rewritten to take account of this pays only lip service to) with diversity of traditions in, for example, how perspective, clarifying the issues of theories of experiential knowledge is passed on. The section lacks theoretical clarity. knowledge. For a summary of different theorisations / definitions of ‘knowledge’ see Davoudi, S. (2015) Planning as Practice of Knowing, Planning Theory, DOI: 10.1177/1473095215575919

Liliana Bravo 5 14 274 17 369 It might be useful to include more ideas based on cases or examples. The text includes 28 case examples.

UK Government 5 14 276 14 278 This is a big jump from ‘theories of knowledge’ to single authorship and Your suggestions have been incorporated and the songs. The use of examples (e.g. Amerindian people) appears to be random examples of Amerindian people removed, with the with no clear links to the preceding discussions. link to single authorship of songs clarified as an example of epistemological difference, see 1.5.1

Brondizio 5 284 285 this statement is highly problematic and speculative; one can argue about Your perspective has been incorporated and the many other features that distinguishe knowledge systems; this brings the sentence revised to 'A system of knowledge is also point of defining 'knowledge systems' more carefully in preceeding text. distinguished from other such systems according to its ideas about what constitutes reality , about what kinds of things exist—its ontology (Descola 2014). ". The previous paragraph discusses epistemological difference, to give more balance to the topic. Canadian 5 15 286 15 289 Statement is a little confusing – could benefit from rephrasing for clarity. The text has been revised to incoporate your Government Are you referring to the apparent paradox of people in what is assumed to perspective and recognise the diversity of ontologies, be a naturalistic worldview having feelings of inspiration, wonder, and see 5.1.1 beauty which are not rationalist? Perhaps part of the limitation is as discussed in comments above – many people in cultures sharing the Western ‘Enlightenment’ epistemological tradition do not subscribe to the mechanistic and reductionistic paradigm, for various reasons. It might be a good idea to acknowledge that, and note that the division here is a pragmatic one for the purpose of managing the data. Charlotte vant 5 15 288 15 288 Please add between brackets types of pollinators (whole of Part 2 discusses The text has been revised and this sentence is no Klooster various types of values and pollinators without discussing/listing in short longer included. the pollinators itself with relevant information for the reader. Chapter 3, page 30, line 821 mentions types of pollinators for the first time (pollinators such as....) Sandra Diaz 5 15 291 "fuzzy logic". Please explain the meaning of this within the context of ILK. ok

Jyothis 5 293 297 This is the main focus of the chapter. Earlier discussion on ontology, ethics Your suggestion has been incorporated and the earlier Sathyapalan and value might be made simple. A long discussion taking away reader from discussion shortened see 5.1.1 the main focus of the report. Brondizio 5 299 349 this section is very useful and informative and illustrates the limitations of Your suggestion has been incorporated and greater the ontological framework presented so far in the chapter; it talks about prominence given to this material, replacing some to diversity, dynamism, economic context, combination of knowledge, etc.. It the earlier text with the ontological frame seems to have been written independently and free from the ontological frame presented above; this section could come earlier in the chapter replacing much of the previous text on ontology;

E. Miriam 5 15 299 16 349 At the beginning of the section 1.4 it says that three premises underpin Your suggestion has been incorporate and the text Aldasoro Maya working with ILK, you clearly identify the first and the second, but not the revised so this sentence is no longer included. third one. Jyothis 5 299 349 this part is a discussion on ILK system and its characteristics. I think in places The text and definition incorporate this perspecive Sathyapalan like India, certain caste identities and community identies are based on this knowledge system, that is the way they preserved it. It was oral and in some case right of knowledge is given to only one person in the family, some times it is not transfer if there is no right member in family. for example certain herbal health practices among Indian tribes. gender difference was another issue while transferring this knowledge, it was with male person in most cases. Canadian 5 15 300 16 349 At the start of this section it says “Three premises…” but the section only Your suggestion has been incorporate and the text Government includes two. Is one missing? The content of this section is very good. revised; it no longer includes the sentence referring to number of premises UK Government 5 15 300 15 307 Can we conclude from this paragraph that the term ‘indigenous’ refers to The text has been revised to clarity the use of terms; small holding ‘farmers’ involved in agriculture? If so, does this mean that Box 1 now sets out who is considered to be urban dwellers do not count in this chapter’s definition of ‘local indigenous peoples and local communities communities’? Serena Heckler 5 15 304 15 304 As per convention established by the UNDRIP, should be "indigenous Your suggestion has been incorporated and people peoples" here, with an "s" corrected to peoples Sandra Diaz 5 15 306 15 307 Although the role of ILK-related biocultural practices is undeniable, Your suggestion has been incorporated and this suggesting that 80% of the world's diversity is fostered by it is a rather phrase is not longer used. sweeping and probably unsupported statement; please rephrase.

Canadian 5 15 308 15 308 This is an example of the use of “local communities” with global statistics, The text has been revised to clarify what is meant by Government to which the question above regarding who is included in “local "local communities" including in Bx 1; the material communities” pertains. The text reads as though it means all rural about family farms has been removed as confusing communities in all societies (including for example farming communities in and make it difficult of focus on ILK systems Canada), but is this actually the case? The types of information provided are great, and very informative, it’s just that we need better clarity socially and geographically about who is included and who is not included, please.

Sandra Diaz 5 15 313 15 314 This statement needs to be qualified /spelled out. What is meant by ok productivity? Surely one of the major claims from industrial agriculture is the ever-increasing yield per hectare. UK Government 5 15 315 15 317 It is important that the chapter does not romanticise the notion of ‘small The text has been revised to remove the general holding farmers’ as knowing best. As with scientific knowledge, local reference to the FAO 2014 source and give details knowledge is also limited and can lead to misguided treatment of the instead of specific knowledge that local farmers have environment and pollinators. Not all local cultures and traditions are based been shown to hold, with sources from the peer- on ecologically sound practices. reviewed scientific literature.

Simone Athayde 5 15 316 15 317 …knowledge that is finely adapted to understanding AND MANAGING…. The text has been revised and now includes "and managing" UK Government 5 16 319 16 320 How large? Which countries? The text has been revised to remove this sentence as the lengthy explanatory matieral (how large, which countries, where) needed to clarify the point is beyond the scope of the assessment. UK Government 5 16 323 16 324 This implies that ‘cultural systems’ are defined by people’s occupation The text has been revised to incorporate your (fishers, farmers, etc.) rather than by their socially and historically shared perspective and "cultural systems" replaced with values? This needs clarification. People’s cultures and values are not solely "livelihood systems" shaped by their occupation. Also it is important to note that people have multiple identities. Charlotte vant 5 16 325 16 325 Please introduce the concept biocultural diversity here with a reference Your suggestion has been incorporated and the Klooster when used for the first time (it is mentioned in the glossary) definition provided the first time the term biocultural diversity is used in section 5.1.3 E. Miriam 5 16 332 16 332 Only "understanding", or can it be added "conserving in situ"? Your suggestion and that of another reviewer have Aldasoro Maya been incorporated and we have added "and managing" here see section 5.1.2 UK Government 5 16 332 16 333 Chapter states it is important to understand ILK in situ - there are some to be incorporated recognition of this point into 5.1.5 useful parallels with understanding socio-cultural values in industrialised societies, which could perhaps be drawn out more strongly? The UK Government Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) funded study on 'Social and cultural values of pollinators' takes an in-depth case study approach partly in order to understand social and cultural values in situ UK Government 5 16 337 16 340 This seems another area where parallels could be drawn between ILK Your perspective on this parallel has been approaches and work in industrialised societies. The definition of ILK here acknowledged, with the following sentence now has parallels (e.g., highlighting the importance of cultural practices and included in 5.1.5 'Similarly, valuation approaches environmental spaces, grounded in the biophysical domain) with the focused on highlighting the importance of cultural conceptual framework for the linkages between cultural ecosystem practices and environmental spaces are also services, values and benefits developed as part of the UK National recognized as suitable for assessments outside of ILK Ecosystem Assessment Follow-on (see 'UK National Ecosystem Assessment systems, although their application is at an early stage Follow-on: Synthesis of Key Findings', Figure 15, p33 - http://uknea.unep- of development {UK National Ecosystem Assessment, wcmc.org/Resources/tabid/82/Default.aspx) 2014 #2020}.' Serena Heckler 5 16 337 16 337 Again, should be "socio-ecological" Your perspective ahs been considered, and social- ecological maintained, as more consistent with relevant literature. UK Government 5 16 341 The terms in bracket confuse types of representations (i.e. ‘written, oral’) Your perspective has been incorporated and this with types of knowledge (i.e. tacit and scientific). If ILK includes ‘scientific’ material moved to Box 2 where it is presented as a then why call it a separate name rather than simply talk about different discussion elaborating the definition of Diaz et al 2015. types of knowledge. The use of the term ILK implies an emphasis on tacit and experiential knowledge, as against experimental systematic and scientific knowledge, so its definition should not include ‘scientific’ UK Government 5 16 346 16 349 It is useful to see examples from industrialised societies but these are brief - The text in the chapter has been revised to include further detail would be good more examples from industrialised societies see

Canadian 5 16 350 17 368 Good section, good text. Not sure the reference to Lévi-Strauss on food for The text has been revised to clarify the meaning of the Government thought is that useful, might consider removing. The map with the textbox reference to Levi-Strauss see 5.1.3 is good though. Jyothis 5 350 357 I think spirituality also matter here, culture of worshiping nature (rivers, there may be a mention of spirituality , that connect Sathyapalan trees, animals) are also found in many parts of the world. culture and nature, from the perspective of eastern part of the world E. Miriam 5 17 351 17 359 I am afriad I would insist on mentioning the Biocultural Axiom of Your recommendation has been incorporated and the Aldasoro Maya Nitschmann, on my opinion its a basic antecedent on the topic. biocultural axiom included with the source where it first appeared oledo, V.M. (2001) Indigenous Peoples and Biodiversity. Encyclopedia of Biodiversity (ed. S.A. Levin), pp. 451-463. Elsevier, New York, USA.

Serena Heckler 5 17 355 17 385 Some of the terms being presented here are quite controversial--biocultural The text has been revised to clarify the perspective diversity and its proponents' mapping of linguistic and biodiversity have that cultural practices shape biodiversity, and to attracted controversy (see, for instance Brosius and Hitchner 2010, ISSJ pp. recognise the map as an interesting visualisation, 141-168 and many works referenced therein). The Loh and Harmon paper rather than "highlighting the significance of ILK treats languages as analogous to species that can be analysed using systems". See 5.1.5. We have reviewed and cited the ecological concepts and tools. This is a problematic treatment that ignores Brosius source and ensured that we have addressed multilingualism (although colonialism has posited that indigenous the objections he raises, particularly through our languages compete with colonial languages and hence should not be emphasis on the dynamism of knowledge, our transmitted, the majority of the world's people speak more than one inclusion of hybridity. The map is useful to those who language. A model that sees languages as if they are species in competition are not familiar with the diversity of human languages. with each other fundamentally misunderstands culture, which is why the work has not been picked up by linguists). It is true that the term "biocultural diversity" is increasingly used to talk about interlinked natural and cultural diversity, without intentionally invoking the more tenuous theories underlying the arguments made to support it by some of its originators. Nevertheless, the statement that these maps, questionable in themselves, "highlight the significance of ILK systems" is unclear and should be unpacked. Is the implication that ILK systems enhance biodiversity? Often the contention of authors such as Harmon and Loh and Stepp is that biodiversity gives rise (in a natural selection kind of a way) to cultural diversity. What exactly is meant here? Denise Matias 5 17 360 17 363 How about including wild honey bee hunting and wild honey gathering as Your perspective has been incorporated and, these an example of unique biocultural association with pollinators? examples are included later in the text.

UK Government 5 17 363 17 364 It is useful to see reference to industrialised societies but the example of bee keeping could be discussed in more depth Your perspective has been incorporated and, and this example discussed more fully later in the text. Brondizio 5 369 369 start with "The term…" biocultural diversity .. The text has been revised and the sentence now starts with "the term" Natasha Fijn 5 17 369 Levi-Strauss was referring specifically to animals being 'good to think', not Manuela, can you check our revision to this section really biodiversity. It is important to include Levi-Strauss' 'From Honey to and respond to this comment pls Ashes' somewhere but not particularly appropriate within this section discussing biodiversity. Samson Gwali 5 17 369 17 369 Replace "provide" with "provides" The grammatical errors in the sentence have been corrected. Charlotte vant 5 17 370 17 385 Please modify map by removing text 'fig. 5.8 biocultural diversity in the The text and map have been revised to incorporate Klooster world'. Ask source for original map to modify to your needs and add source your perspective see 5.1.3 and Fig 2 after the figure explanation not in the map itself. Figure explanation should be below the figure (table explanation is above table)

Sandra Diaz 5 17 370 Figure 2: Please indicate the meaning of white areas in the legend or colour The text and map have been revised to incorporate key embedded in graph. your perspective see 5.1.3 and Fig 2 Charlotte vant 5 17 386 18 397 After the map (which proves the correlation existing between biodiversity The text has been revised to take account of this Klooster and ethnolinguistic diversity globally) I would expect as a reader an perspective and the significance of the relationships example that highlists the significance of this. The part on myths is valuable clarified see 5.1.3 but not the right place. Charlotte vant 5 17 386 17 386 Reference to case 1 is missing in the text (see list of case examples overview The text has been revised and case example 1 is now Klooster on page 4) referred to see end of 5.1.3 Syed Md. Zainul 5 18 390 18 396 The scientific name of the "woodpecker" should be given in the Comment addressed Abedin parentheses for proper identification UK Government 5 18 398 21 507 Discussion of socio-cultural values and methods is useful but could be The text has been reviewed and revised to take expanded. It would be helpful to make reference to the 'IPBES guide on account of this perspective and the perspective of diverse conceptualization of values and on policy support tools and other reviewers that the section should be shorter. methodologies' (http://www.ipbes.net/news/45-work-programme/648- See 5.1.4 and 5.1.5 comments-2a-3d-4c.html).

On methods, there is likely to be other national level work that can contribute. In the UK, the National Ecosystem Assessment Follow-on has developed a range of tools and approaches to help articulate social and cultural values and take them into account more effectively in policy and decision-making - see in particular Work Package Report 5 (Cultural ecosystem services and indicators) and Work Package Report 6 (Shared, plural and cultural values of ecosystems). Summaries of both can be found in the Synthesis of Key Findings - http://uknea.unep- wcmc.org/Resources/tabid/82/Default.aspx Jyothis 5 398 527 lengthy discussion on concepts of values, may be shorted , otherwise The text has been revised to take account of this Sathyapalan reader may deviate from the main theme of the report perspective and shortened see 5.1.4 and 5.1.5 Patricia Balvanera 5 18 400 18 410 I think it would be important to cite in this section or earlier (fig 1) the first The text has been revised to include citation of this version of the IPBES document on diverse conceptualizations of value. source in 5.1.4 and 5.1.5

Charlotte vant 5 18 401 18 407 On page 12 line 214 the term 'values' is introduced for the first time. Please Your perspective has been incorporated and the term Klooster consider adding the meaning of values, presented on page 18 line, 401-407, value is now defined at the beginning of 5.1.4 to page 12 online 215 after 'grounded'. If you replace this, the last sentence (line 407-410) should be replaced elswhere as well for you to decide upon. Start new section 2.1.1 with 'The IPBES contextual framework.... line 411).

Liliana Bravo 5 18 401 18 410 It might be of interest for authors to broaden the concept of socio-cultural This perspective is acknowledged in 5.1.5 values with relationships between peoples and their environmental contexts. It is practical to use the concept of a value but when one approaches to analyse relationships can find different concerns and definitions of biodiversity held by local populations.

Canadian 5 18 401 18 407 Good, well stated. Thanks Government Catherine 5 18 401 18 410 The authors suggest 2 meanings of value that are important to IPBES. I The text recognises that there are at least two Robinson suggest there is a third - values are an endogenous property of any meanings, which flow from the definition. The text has pollination management process in which social groups seek to define been revised to make clear that there are a range of what is important, and what deserves recogntion. This suggests that we other meanings associated with diverse groups of could expect debate (contestation?) over the definition of what is people see 5.1.5 'valuable'. This matters in relation to IKS and science knowledge negotiations over pollination agents and processes deemed to be more useful (or valid) to enable fertilisation and reproduction. Sandra Diaz 5 18 406 What is the meaning of the word "world" in this context? The text has been revised and this sentence is no longer included. Canadian 5 18 407 18 410 This sentence is less helpful as stated – can you reframe it to build on the The text has been revised and this sentence is no Government two meanings at the start of the paragraph? If you are trying to explain the longer included. link between held or assigned values (as per the first 3 sentences) and achieving objectives or conditions there is a piece missing. Are you saying that in Western cultures values are ends-means based (for the utility of the valuing person)? There is a considerable body of research in environmental values that disagrees. Maybe you could restate your point in plain language.

Canadian 5 18 411 18 414 This sentence is well stated. Thanks Government Sandra Diaz 5 18 414 18 420 The CF does not assume people as a relatively insignificant part of nature, The text has been revised to incorporate this and this is not the basis for recognizing nature’s intrinsic value perspective and this sentence is no longer included. (independent from human valuation or other considerations). The fact that See 5.1.4 some worldviews are more dualistic (nature sharply separate from nature) or holistic (people is an integral part of nature, intrinsically connected with, and embraced by it) is explicitly recognized when dealing with anthropocentric (human-perspective, although not necessarily human as the most important) values. I agree that conservation science has been moving from a sharp division between nature and people towards a more “people and nature” view, as described by mace 2014, but I don’t think is correct to relate this with the intrinsic vs. anthropocentric values issue.

Simone Athayde 5 18 414 18 414 human well-being - better established that "good quality of life" The IPBES CF recognises that human well-being is part of "good quality of life" as well as other concepts such as living in harmony with nature. We have used the over-arching rather than the sub-categories here. Canadian 5 18 415 19 423 There are several unrelated items in this paragraph and it’s not clear that ok Government they all belong here – the logic does not flow from one to the next. One sentence begins to compare and contrast holistic and dualistic worldviews but makes a point about intrinsic values that is not followed through with a counterpoint from an alternate view, but defers it to the next section. Then the focus shifts to an introductory remark about conservation science out of context. And it is quite true that the ES metaphor is meant to draw attention to the ways that humans depend on nature, it does not necessarily follow that ES assessment has “neoliberal undertones”. Many ES researchers and analysts in the natural and some social sciences focus on understanding ecosystem processes and functions associated with resilience and the implications of ecosystem change for human societies, e.g. in terms of health, risk, sustainable use, and so on. The ‘neoliberal undertones’ seems to be a criticism of the economic valuation. Granted that in the expert literature and popular media this is the controversial part of ES analysis, but it can be approached in ways that are not oriented to commodification and not used in situations for which it is not logically or culturally appropriate. Over the last several years there have been several key publications calling for sociocultural valuation of ecosystem services not using economic theory or methods and this should be fully consistent with the ES concept.

UK Government 5 18 415 This is not quite true. The biocentric view of the world “considers humans ok - noted as members of an interconnected ‘web of life’ and an integral part of nature, rather than its master or steward. From the biocentric perspective, nature has intrinsic values. It is an end in itself” Davoudi S. (2014) Climate change, securitisation of nature, and resilient urbanism, Environment and Planning C: Government and Policy 32(2) 360 – 375

UK Government 5 18 421 The under tone of ecosystem services is not ‘neoliberal’; it is functional The text has been revised to remove the reference to utilitarian. These two may reinforce each other but they are the same. neo-liberal undertones. Utilitarian approaches to nature existed well before the rise of neoliberalism: Davoudi, S., (2012) Climate risk and security: New meanings of ‘the environment’ in the English planning system, European Planning Studies, 20(1)49-69 Canadian 5 18 422 19 423 Strongly advise revising sentence to say “Diverse valuation methods across Your suggestion has been incorporated and the Government sociocultural, biophysical and economic domains can elicit and, where sentence revised as follows "Diverse valuation relevant, quantify diverse values (Raymond et al., 2014). Sociocultural methods in the biophysical, economic, socio-cultural, methods can also be used to identify and describe values qualitatively. In health and holistic domains can elicit and characterise this section...” intrinsic, instrumental and relational values through both quantitative and qualitative measures". see section 5.1.4 Charlotte vant 5 19 423 19 534 In this section of the chapter.. . needs and use.=> Please consider starting The text has been revised to follow the structure Klooster the 2.1.1. section with this text block, followed by textblock on the IPBES suggested. conceptual framework (from The IPBES line 411 to quantify values 423) after which you can continue again with the textblock starting with 'numerous voices.. ' (line 462). Canadian 5 19 425 19 425 Agree that environmental values typologies and forms of elicitation have Your suggestion has been incorporated and reference Government been developed by philosophers and others since at least Kellert 1980 that to these as separate to the MEA removed. See section are very useful (e.g. Callicott 1984, Rolston and Coufal 1991, Manning et al 5.2.1 1999, Satterfield 2001, and more). However, heritage and health are also part of the MA ES typology which begs the question of why they should be added from other sources.

Canadian 5 19 426 19 434 the rest of this para is quite good. Thanks Government Brondizio 5 428 428 Levi-Strauss most certainly did not use the term "biodiversity" in 1962; The text has been revised to remove the implication check exact quote. that Levi-Strauss used the term biodiversity see end of section 5.1.3 Samson Gwali 5 19 428 19 428 Replace "evalution" with "evaluation" The correction has been accepted. Charlotte vant 5 19 435 19 461 Please add figure 3 only after mentioning it in the text ( line 474 page 20). The text has been revised to remove Figure 3. Klooster Sandra Diaz 5 19 435 Figure 3. If at all possible, try to find conssitency in terminology with IPBES The text has been revised to remove Figure 3. Document 3D (Diverse Valuatons). Also note that it should be "antrhopocentric" rather than "anthropogenic".. Brondizio 5 435 461 I am not sure I understand this figure. The title says diverse valuation The text has been revised to remove Figure 3. methods, but the figure seems to be about factors influencing the 'process of valuation and value elicitation'; whats the intented flow (direction of interpretation) in the figure? The key outside to the right is not an outcome (as the arrow suggest), but an "input" to the center figure; how can perceptions and values and institutions be outside of the valuation and value elicitation? Canadian 5 19 435 19 460 Figure 3 seems very much out of context and belongs with a discussion The text has been revised to remove Figure 3. Government about how values are formed and negotiated. IPBES Deliverable 3d does this, so maybe not a good fit here. The text after the figure is fine, and if a figure is used perhaps this is not the best one to use, and any figure should come immediately after the text so that it is introduced.

Samson Gwali 5 19 435 19 436 Rephrase the figure caption as follows: Diverse valuation methods that The text has been revised to remove Figure 3. elicit, shape and articulate values, operating as informal institutions that influence diverse behaviours and perceptions Sebsebe Demissew 5 19 467 467 Brondizo et al. To …. et al . The text has been edited to ensure et al. is italicised throughout Simone Athayde 5 19 469 19 469 you can use "monetary" or also "market-based" economic valuations to The text has been revised in response to suggestions refer to the conventional approach to valuation adopted by many policy- of reviewers to shorten this section and this sentence makers and governments. is no longer included. Charlotte vant 5 20 472 20 472 Since the header 2.1.1 is on socio-cultural valuation approaces and 2.1.2. on The text has been revised and these confusing sub- Klooster socio-cultural valuation methods I suggest to incorporate the text starting headings removed see 5.1.4 Diversity of methods for from 472 (However, valuation methods...) to line 476 in a revised way to eliciting values and 5.1.5 Sociocultural and holistic the next section 2.1.2 including Figure 3 (to which you only have to refer valuation. The text has been revised to remove Figure one time). 3. Charlotte vant 5 20 474 20 475 Vatn (2005) therefore refers to valuation methods as value articulating The text has been revised to remove Figure 3. Klooster institutions (Figure 3) => If Fig 3 is based on work derived from Vatn (2005) please add source in the figure header in between brackets

UK Government 5 20 478 21 507 Section on socio-cultural evaluation methods (typology figure 4) is Thanks particularly useful way of framing the more-than-economic values and methods for evaluating them that abound in human societies in relation to pollinators Canadian 5 20 479 20 487 Really ANY critical approach to valuation, sociocultural or economic, should ok Government be reflexive enough to recognize your first point. The remainder of the paragraph applies to any ES assessment as part of the initial scoping – who is benefiting? who is affected? how?, etc., regardless of the type of valuation being undertaken. Liliana Bravo 5 20 479 20 487 It might be useful (if authors agree) to add some questions as the following: The text has been revised to include these questions what is happening to see 5.1.5 the environment / landscape / (agro)ecosystem? What people are doing, why and with what effect on the pollinators/(agro)ecosystem/farm/habitat? Catherine 5 20 483 20 487 In the case of pollination and pollinators, socio-cultural valuation might also The text has been revised to include these questions Robinson include questions about what species and proceses have pollination agency see 5.1.5

Liliana Bravo 5 20 488 21 507 It might be informative to include ethnographic methods which allow to Elisa, could you respond to this comment please elicit in-depth details of what people know, feel, do, why, and with what effect on the farm/habitat/landscape with impact on pollinators/pollination services. Some of these methods are already cited (e.g., participant observation, in-depth interviews) Samson Gwali 5 20 488 20 488 Replace "preferences" with "preference" the text has been reviewed and the plural "preferences" is preferred to the singular "preference'.

Samson Gwali 5 20 491 20 491 Replace "though" with "through" The correction has been accepted. Brondizio 5 495 497 figure 4 is potentially informative with few caveats: -it is unclear what "self- Elisa, could you respond to this comment please oriented" and "others oriented" mean and not explained in the text;-the qual-quant arrow does not work, for instance it does not represent the methods in the lower left corner? -most of the methods listed in the lower- left corner also fit in the lower right corner; -why there is a box on the upper right corner disconneded from the rest of the figure? Perhaps, a way to edit this figure is to eliminate the four quarters and have only one gradient from 'individual' to 'collective preferences' with methods "floating" along the gradient without being placed in fixed boxes. Simone Athayde 5 20 495 20 495 figure 4 - action research may also be quantitative. Important to briefly Elisa, could you respond to this comment please distinguish quantitative and qualitative approaches, since this is not clear (reference provided by the reviewer : Creswell, J. W. for the ordinary reader or policy-maker. E.g. after line 507. 2014. Research design: qualitative, quantitative and mixed approaches. 4th ed. Thousand Oaks, Sage.

Charlotte vant 5 20 495 20 496 Figure 4 is not introduced in the tekst, please add reference to figure 4. Your suggestion has been incorporated and Figure 3 is Klooster now referred to in the text of 5.1.5 Simon Potts 5 20 495 21 497 Some more explanation needed here. I found this a useful attempt to bring ok together a lot of information but ended up being quite confused. Are these three axes independent? Can all methods be simply assigned to quantitative vs qualitative, self vs other and individual vs collective? For instance ranking preferences can be both qualitative and quantitative and deliberative and consultative - also collective or individual? Canadian 5 21 497 21 497 Figure 4 is interesting, and conceptually informative however some Thanks Government revisions would help: Charlotte vant 5 21 498 21 498 Valuation by deliberative methods => Please describe 'deliberative ok Klooster methods' first in short before continuing with their aim (line 499). Canadian 5 21 498 21 507 Good content in this para, but written in a somewhat intellectually dense ok Government style that may be inaccessible to many bureaucrats and government decision-makers. Might be good to unpack some of this in simpler terms. For example, the clause on communicative rationality while academically relevant is a bit of a side point and not contributing to understanding the point about reasoned discourse. Likewise “challenged by power and knowledge asymmetries” is an important point but should be in plain language if you want it to get across. The final sentence of the para should actually go at the beginning of the description of sociocultural valuation.

UK Government 5 21 505 Why the emphasis on ‘rural’: how is ‘rapid rural appraisal’ different from Participatory and rapid rural appraisal are well- rapid urban appraisal? established as both terms and approaches in the literature; the terms have been retained and relevant sources added Catherine 5 21 511 29 786 This is an impressive overview of the range of values that pollination ok Robinson provides for social-cultural values. It would be useful to add some examples of other species and processes that ILK deem to be essential for reproduction and fertilisation rather than just focuse on agents (such as bees) that have been identified by science as pollinators. I am sure there are many examples but consider the role of water as a fertilising agent for the Yolgnu of NE Arnhem Land. As an essential part of Yolngu cultural- ecological geographies that binds individual, clan and country together, meanings and metaphors associated with water act as an important symbolic vehicle through which shared management principles are made. For the Yolngu, water gives life to spiritual forms, country, memories, people, flora and fauna. Held and renewed in Yolngu people’s minds and bodies, from the North-east (Dhimurru) wind and in all living things, water provides a common medium to care for the life of Yolngu and country (quoted from Robinson CJ, N Munungguritj. 2001. Sustainable balance: A Yolngu framework for cross-cultural collaborative management, in R Baker, J Davies, E Young (eds), Working on Country: Indigenous Environmental Management in Australia, Oxford University Press, Melbourne, 92-107). One of these essential processes might in fact be ILK sharing and practice - as noted on page 36, line 1006. This might offer a useful balance to the current emphasis on bees

Canadian 5 21 511 21 511 The acronym for the Millennium Ecosystem Assessment is MA (check the The text has been revised and the acronym removed. Government reports). This is likely because MEA is the acronym for multi-lateral environmental agreements – so to avoid confusion... E. Miriam 5 21 511 21 511 Millenium Ecosystem A….. (MEA) Changed Aldasoro Maya Canadian 5 21 511 21 514 This sentence needs revisiting – it is really hard to decipher. What is the The text has been revised to incorporate this Government single point being made? That value typologies are ways that people perspective and now reads "The Millenium Ecosystem organize information to help them manage it, and that the choices of how Assessment (2005) identified that typologies of values to categorize things are strongly influenced by beliefs, customs, knowledge, are always somewhat artificial—values can be and perception. As a result, typologies vary across cultures, contexts, and categorized in many different ways which change in time. response to dynamic human cultures, knowledge systems, religions, social, and social-ecological interactions (Tengberg et al. 2012). " UK Government 5 22 515 22 519 This categorisation of cultural values is important as it provides a basis for The text has been revised to incorporate this subsequent discussion. However, it is not clear this captures the full range perspective and to align better with the IPBES of values and complexities. It might be worth looking at the conceptual Conceptual Framework as recommended by many framework for the linkages between cultural ecosystem services, values and reviewers; a revised categorisation reflects this benefits developed as part of the UK National Ecosystem Assessment revision and is related to nature's benefits in 5.2.1 and Follow-on (see 'UK National Ecosystem Assessment Follow-on: Synthesis of good quality of life in 5.3.1. Agriculture is included as Key Findings', Figure 15, p33 - http://uknea.unep- "diverse farming systems" wcmc.org/Resources/tabid/82/Default.aspx). As one example, agriculture does not seem to be included in any way and yet is clearly an expression of cultural values (see Fish, 2011).

Fish R (2011). Environmental decision making and an ecosystems approach: some challenges from the perspective of social science. Progress in Physical Geography 35, 5, 671-680 Canadian 5 22 515 22 519 the list of CES in this para becomes confusing because of the ways the ideas The text has been revised to incorporate this Government are stated. You might consider simplifying, e.g. Cultural Services are the perspective see section 5.2.1 result of ecosystem processes and functions sometimes combined with human interventions, that inform human physiological, psychological and spiritual well-being, knowledge and creativity.

UK Government 5 22 528 22 530 It would be useful to provide more introduction to this section, including a brief outline of the scope of the review and methods and approaches used to identify and assess evidence Sandra Diaz 5 22 528 23 556 The detailed categories contemplated here are fully compatible with the The text has been revised to incorporate this IPBES CF, and quite clear. But this seems to pull together as values what is perspective and ensure consistency with the IPBES CF, consdiered in the CF, 3D valuation document and other (external) sources, see categories presented in 5.2.1 and 5.3.1 as "benefits" (from pollinators) and their "values".

Samson Gwali 5 22 528 22 528 Replace "pollinator" with "pollinators" Corrected Charlotte vant 5 22 529 22 529 Please mention here which methods sections you refer to (2.1.2? And?) Your suggestion has been incorporated and we have Klooster since Part 4.5 of the chapter is on Methods only. explained this at the end of 5.1.4 thus 'The methods used for assessment of the literature related to these values are presented in 5.5. However, we conclude this introduction with a brief summary of how socio- cultural and holistic valuations are undertaken, in recognition that valuation methods shape and articulate values, operating as informal institutions that influence diverse behaviours and perceptions (Gómez-Baggethun et al. 2014, Martin-Lopez et al. 2014).' Charlotte vant 5 22 529 22 529 We identified… => This sentence seems to refer to a result of your work. The text has been revised to incorporate your Klooster Please make clear division for methods/results etc. suggestion with the sentence 'The values of pollinators discussed here are derived from reviews of literature, paying particular attention to indigenous and local knowledge, as detailed in the methods section 5.5. ' in section 5.2.1

Samson Gwali 5 22 530 22 520 Replace "services" with "service" The text has been revised and this sentence has been removed. Canadian 5 22 531 22 537 Suggest removing these sentences that are examples of pollinator-related Your suggestion has been incorporated and these Government ES and treat them in the review itself. Keep this focused on introducing the sentences removed to sections 5.2.2 and 5.2.3 assessment of literature. Samson Gwali 5 22 535 22 536 Sentence beginning, "Pollinators …." is not clear. It should be rephrased! the text has been revised and this sentence has been removed. Bienvenue 5 21 541 22 550 The social relation should be detailled and have an example Your suggestion has been incorporated and "social ZAFINDRASILIVON relations" are now included as a category see Table ONA 5.2 and section 5.3.1 UK Government 5 22 541 22 542 It is helpful to be explicit about the source of the classification but as indicated in previous comments, there is a significant volume of work on cultural ecosystem services developed since the MEA which could be incorporated (e.g., in the UK, the National Ecosystem Assessment Follow-on) Brondizio 5 544 550 why food is excluded or submed in the list? The MA typology of services has Your suggestion has been incorporated and food now many utilities, but also some limitations such as separating provisioning listed in table 5.1 and section 5.2.2 from cultural services and as a consequence placing food production in the first category, but not in the second; while the MA typology is useful here, it could be modified to have more direct mention to food, a key link between ILK and pollination;

Canadian 5 22 544 22 550 In comparison to the list provided in the comment above, the selection of The text has been revised to incorporate a wider set Government six in the chapter seems very limited. Is this because that was all that could of categories that more closely align with the IPBES CF be found in the literature or did this list determine the scope of what was see 5.2.1 and 5.3.1 and Tables 5.1 and 5.2 sought in the literature? If you must stay with this list due to the time it would take to go back into the literature to expand the scope there should be a very clear statement of the recognition of the scoping parameters you have used and why they were chosen, ideally with acknowledgment of the scope that could logically have been used (as per notes above about sociocultural values and their applicability to all ES (to varying degrees) and the choice you made to focus only on CES. Canadian 5 23 551 23 556 these sentences not really needed here – best to move on to the The text has been revised and these sentences moved Government assessment results. to 5.2.2 and 5.2.3 as suggested Jyothis 5 551 556 I think this is important , need more discussion, that is done in next ok - noted Sathyapalan subsections, Canadian 5 23 557 Making the link to internationally designated sites of cultural heritage is Thanks Government useful and appreciated. There are also many other examples of the cultural heritage link that could be drawn upon. Liliana Bravo 5 23 577 23 579 In relation to the coffee cultural landscape of Colombia: it is an interesting Guiomar I've added a phrase to the sentence here but case that allows to wondered if there was more we could say about integrating pollination services, high levels of biodiversity, farming diversity of pollinators, and if there is diversity of landscapes, the tradition of genes like in the Agave example. I found this source coffee growing in small plots, and urban areas. It might be useful to include online Winter, C. (2015) Safeguarding agricultural additional details landscapes: The case of the coffee Landscape of in this regard if authors agree. See more info in Colombia. Masters Thesis, University of Pennsylvania, [http://whc.unesco.org/en/list/1121] Phildephia, USA. Online: http://repository.upenn.edu/hp_theses/575. but haven't been through it E. Miriam 5 24 596 24 596 Aldasoro MEM (2012) Documented that for Thalhuicas (Pjiekakjoo) People, The text has been revised to incorporate this material Aldasoro Maya the bumblebees are the ancestors souls that appear around the day of the and source in section 5.2.3 death (2nd of november) to visit their families. The title: Documenting and contextualizing the Pjiekakakjoo (Tlahuica) knowledges through a collaborative research project. Tesis Doctoral. University of Washington, Seattle. E.U.A.Dissertation can be found at: https://digital.lib.washington.edu/researchworks/bitstream/handle/1773/2 0792/AldasoroMaya_washington_0250E_10214.pdf?sequence=1.

Syed Md. Zainul 5 24 596 24 608 The scientific name of the "hummingbird" should be given in the ok Abedin parentheses for proper identification Jyothis 5 597 623 Some examples may be taken from other parts of the world, particularly examples are concentrating to one region Sathyapalan developing part, e.g. south Asia Brondizio 5 612 613 check for consistency in the use of the word honeybee vs honey bee; Corrected to honeybee and bumblebee throughout bumblebee vs bumble bee Canadian 5 25 621 25 623 yes, and this is important. however, the sentence seems quite out of place The text has been revised to incorporate this Government here, as it is unrelated to the rest of the discussion. perhaps a separate suggestion and this sentence moved to section 5.4.1.2 paragraph and a couple of examples would make a better fit.

Chinese 5 25 622 "by has" should be "has" Corrected. government Samson Gwali 5 25 622 25 622 Delete "by" which appears after the word "mascots" Corrected. Chinese 5 25 626 26 657 section "2.2.4 aesthetic values and pollinator"discussed aesthetic values of This paragraph now begins with the sentence to make government pollinators in two ways: insect-pollinated plants, and pollinators this link explicit "Pollinators are valued indirectly via themselves, but was devoid of several lines to show aesthetic values of their link to insect-pollinated plants, orchids, roses, pollinators or link between aesthetic values and pollinators, such as van sunflowers and many others …" gogh'sunflower on insect-pollinated plants side. It is better to add several lines on insect-pollinated plants and on pollinators side beside of bee and apiaries. Jyothis 5 626 657 I agree that all are good examples but like to few from developing part the text has been revised and this suggestion Sathyapalan because lots of tribes and indigenous peoples are living in this area. incorporated in section 5.3.5

Samson Gwali 5 25 651 25 651 Insert " in France and several areas in Africa", after Cevennes National Park Text has been reviewed and the African examples not included here as the whole section refers to France Canadian 5 26 659 in this section the text jumps back and forth mentioning the same country The text has been revised to incorporate these Government multiple times but others inbetween. Would it make sense to summarize all suggestions with the ancient separated and links to the relevant points for, e.g. Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt, etc. together? the contemporary clarified see 5.2.3 And perhaps separate ancient from contemporary, since the practical use of the assessment will lie in its relevance to contemporary societies and cultures. If you can make links between the ancient examples and current populations in the same regions who carry on recognizing those historical traditions it would also be good. Nicolas Cesard 5 26 674 Julius Ceasar > Caesar corrected Natasha Fijn 5 26 681 The Indigenous Australian rock band Yothu-yindi sang about sugarbag and Interesting but unable to include without a song name honeybees in one of their songs. or source. Canadian 5 26 684 26 685 Zeus and Jupiter are the same god – Zeus is the ancient Greek version and The sentence has been corrected so that only Zeus is Government Jupiter is the ancient Roman version – so this sentence needs to be fixed. now mentioned see 5.3.3

Canadian 5 26 685 26 687 can you expand on this statement, what are these sacred connections in The sentence has been expanded to explain the Government Morocco? connections with the Islamic traditions see 5.3.3 Charlotte vant 5 27 691 27 691 No need for a separate case example here because text can be added in The case example has been retained in the interests of Klooster normal text like done before with other examples e.g. for ancient Greece highlighting the earliest examples of written texts starting from line 682 on page 26. globally, and the Indian traditions. Chinese 5 27 696 "acient literature" should be "acient literature" Corrected government Chinese 5 27 704 "in relation go" should be "in relation to" corrected government Samson Gwali 5 27 712 27 712 Delete the word "the and" after "following" ok Charlotte vant 5 27 719 27 719 In the 6 catagories no attention is paid to beekeeping as a traditional The text has been revised to incorporate this Klooster occupation only beekeeping as a recreational activity under section 2.2.6 perspective and section 5.2.1 now presents both here. Beekeeping is a form of a traditional occupation (although seasonal). categories (recreational, innovations for honey See for more information eg. Honey hunting described by Anderson (2001) hunting and beekeeping, and livelihoods) in 5.2.1 so an ancient form of occupation being practiced e.g by the indigenous Alu that the reader knows to expect the additional and Jenu Kurumba tribes in South India. Anderson, P.N., 2001. Community material. The source from India has been added to based conservation and social change among South Indian honey hunters: 5.2.5.4. an anthropological perspective. Oryx, vol 35 (1), 81-83. DOI: 10.1046/j.1365- 3008.2001.00152.x Sandhya 5 28 731 28 735 needs to answer 'how?' with regard to Bee Hunt! Gretchen could you please refer to the source and Chandrasekharan find out how Bee Hunt does what is claimed, thanks Brondizio 5 742 786 this section is very interesting, but it mixes several different things, The text has been restructured and some of this including medicinal use, musical uses and other material uses, while leaving material now included in a section on "provisioning 'nutritional' basically uncovered; as noted above, the latter (more broadly services" and the linkages made clear 'food') deserves more attention in the chapter; Jyothis 5 742 786 insects and pollinators are used in different systems of medicine e.g. Insufficient information provided to cite these sources Sathyapalan homeopathy Christopher 5 28 744 Cite Ellis et al. 2015 and Smith et al. 2015 in the parenthetical looking at Insufficient information provided to cite these sources Golden nutritional and medical effects. In fact, the Eilers paper and others do not truly discuss medical or nutritional effects but only effects on food. I am becoming repetitive but a true health valuation should include health effects, and not just agricultural effects. Please maintain consistency in this throughout. Nicolas Cesard 5 28 744 28 745 Around 2000 insect species (Jongema 2015). Jongema Y. List of edible The text has been amended and the source cited insects of the world. Wageningen University, Wageningen, the Netherlands. 2015. http://bit.ly/1wbQojQ Accessed 13 July 2015.

Nicolas Cesard 5 28 746 747 To me, van Huis reference is enough. Pemberton and al. is a bit old, not too Text has been revised to incorporate these sources detail and on Japan only. On the protein contents of insects, I will use the see 5.2.2 recent Rumpold and Schluter 2013 as a reference. Rumpold BA, Schlüter OK (2013) Nutritional composition and safety aspects of edible insects. Molecular Nutrition and Food Research 57 (5), 802-823

Sandra Diaz 5 28 748 29 756 " crop plants that depend fully or partially…." Key message that deserves to This information is included in both be more prominent in the chapter and assessment in general . I suggest gringing it forward to the Executive summary and also SPM.

Sandra Diaz 5 29 760 29 761 the procedure, used as an example of a medicinal benefit, is used mostly The sentence has been deleted against bee stings themselves, which would not be a concern if there were no bees around… I suggest deleting it. Liliana Bravo 5 29 765 29 767 It might be informative to mention that stingless bees' honey is greatly Your suggestion has been incorporated in section 5.3.4 valued for its medicinal properties on different local coomunities of farmers and villagers who inhabit the countryside. e.g., antibiotic / antibacterial properties. It is especially commun on different regions of Colombia according to the oral tradition. Those bees are named "Angelitas" See also chapters (Part V) of biological properties of stingless bees' honey on Vit, P. et al. (2013). Pot-Honey A legacy of stingless bees. Berlin: Springer Verlag

Sandra Diaz 5 29 768 29 779 The example gets in too much detial about the musical instruments The text has been amended to remove the themselves, missing the point. I suggest summarizing, just pointing out the unnecessary detail the bee products are improtant for traditional muscial instruments in laos, China, Japan, etc. Nicolas Cesard 5 29 772 774 ... but the wax of local honeybees is used in.... In that case, better staying The text has been amended to incorporate the vague if we don't know the right honeybee species. suggestion and to remove the distinction between the bees. Sandra Diaz 5 29 781 29 786 The rationale behind these links between pollinators and biofuels is The text has been amended to incorporate the confusing. Perhaps it could be imporved by expanding a bit more on the suggestionsee section 5.2.2. statement "choice of bioofuel crops as bioenergy industry expands is likely to affect pollinarors, and vice versa". Otherwise, prune the paragraph and simply refer to the importance of pollinators for the production of bisfules 9e.g. Jatrhopa), fibre (e.g. cotton) and construction materials (e.g. Ecualyptus). UK Government 5 29 788 The use of the term ‘valuing’ in the some of the sub-headings Part 3 is not The text has been revised to incorporate these appropriate. The previous Part (P 2) discusses values of pollinators. Given perspectives; the word "valuing" no longer appears in the framework, it is expected that part 3 focuses on valuation the titles; the analytical framework has been revised methods/techniques. Instead, it is focused on ‘valuing’. For example, to recognise greater plurality and to more closely section 3.3 is about ‘valuing of diverse management practices’; is this a follow the IPBES Conceptual Frameworks. recommendation? The link between particular value systems and particular management practices is not made clear. Instead, a number of examples are listed. Overall, Part 3 does not seem to cover either the values of pollinators, or valuation techniques. Instead, it seems to be about valuing indigenous people and their local knowledge. This is fine but should be made clear from the outset and as part of conceptual framework. Furthermore, the headings and sub-headings do not always make sense. For example, 3.3 (line 945): should this be the value of pollinators in management practices?; 3.7 (line 1480) should this be the value of pollinators in livelihoods (rather than ‘the valuing of livelihoods’)? What is missing in Part 3 is a discussion of how different people / social groups place different types of socio-cultural values on pollinators. Social groups are more diverse than a simple distinction between indigenous and non- indigenous.

Brondizio 5 790 792 the citation Brondizio et al 2010 did not use the term 'ontology' as the The text has been amended to remove the inclusion phrase seems to imply; it used several terms such as cultural differences, of ontology see 5.1.4 worldviews, cosmology, etc.. It put emphasis on sociocultural context and history. Brondizio 5 793 793 this is a 'strong' statement "fit with the value system of ALL stakeholders.." The text has been revised and this sentence is no a framework is a guide and not normative in the sense of the phrase; longer included. Simone Athayde 5 30 793 30 793 I suggest that is is better to refer to "many" or "different" stakeholders The text has been revised and this sentence is no rather than "all stakeholders" - and maybe provide a context for why the longer included. The text has been revised to include valuation and why the consideration of different stakeholders might be information about stakeholders in 5.1.5 needed. This imporyant introductory paragraph is difficult to be understood by a policy-maker or non-technical person. Provide an example of why a valuation would be needed, how the stakeholders would be identified (maybe naming some - indigenous communities, farmers, managers, practitioners, government officers, beekeepers, etc). All valuation is contingent upon previously defined objectives, which should also be established with participation and inclusion of relevant stakeholders.

Patricia Balvanera 5 30 794 30 803 Please cite here the first version of the IPBES document on diverse ok conceptualizations of value Sandra Diaz 5 30 797 30 826 The considerations in this paragraph misunderstand the IPBES conceptual The text has been revised to incorporate this framework. In advocating for different views, values and valuation perspective, following more closely the IPBES approaches to be brought to the table, Díaz et al. 2015 were not suggesting conceptual framework and the consideration of ILK it would be easy, quite to the contrary, it was presented as a”foridable placed within nature's benefits to people and good challenge”, but one that was worth facing if decisions over common quality of life. The overlap between the categories is resources are to be made on the basis of a plurality of views, not just the acknowledged in 5.2.1. Greater attention has been dominant one. Furthermore it is not clear from the paragraph and the paid to explaining the three features of ILK systems following paragraph (815-828) in what ways the valuation of practices and that challenge socio-cultural valuation see section ethics is fundamentally different from, and more fitting than, the very 5.1.5. general valuation approaches proposed in Díaz et al. (2015) and, more recently and with more detail , in IPBES 3D document on diverse valuation. Indeed, and at least from a non-specialist reader, a lot of the statements in subsections 3.2 to 3.8 could easily fit in section 2. If indeed the valuation of objects, processes, categories among ILK need to be fundamentally different from those among the rest of society, the basis for this, and in what ways the proposed procedure is different, should be outlined more clearly.

E. Miriam 5 30 798 30 798 changue systemes for systems? corrected Aldasoro Maya Brondizio 5 801 802 list could include "terroir" The suggestion has been considered and not included as it does not easily fit the set of objects in the list. Nicolas Cesard 5 30 801 kin groups? The correct term is "skin" but "kin" is probably more easily understood and so the change has been incorporated. Canadian 5 30 804 30 808 yes, there has been a methodological struggle but this is due largely to Thanks for this very interesting publication. Government researchers lack of reflexivity or questioning of their own assumptions and therefore attempting to force categories from their ways of knowing onto cultures that use different categories and different ways of knowing. A proper ethnographic, grounded methodology observes and “listens” to information sources for patterns in ways that people experience, interpret, and communicate about the world from their own ontological lenses. Culturally relevant values therefore EMERGE from the evidence. Just to illustrate for you, an example of working through this experience is the MA thesis on landscape meanings in Eastern Cree oral tradition which can be seen at: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/273459661_Meaning_and_Repr esentation_Landscape_in_the_Oral_Tradition_of_the_Eastern_James_Bay_ Crees and a much shorter published conference paper building on the thesis can be seen at: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/273459711_Exploring_the_Easte rn_Cree_Landscape_Oral_Tradition_as_Cognitive_Map. Chinese 5 30 804 805 the description "…identified many challenges" did not make sense, it is Your suggestion has been incorporated and the government better to list what are these challenges in details following the general challenges presented first see section 5.1.5 description. UK Government 5 30 808 30 814 This paragraph is not clear. The paragraph has been rewritten to achieve greater clarity see 5.1.5 Canadian 5 30 811 30 820 these sentences are too abstract for the IPBES primary audience and should The paragraph has been rewritten to achieve greater Government be unpacked in plain language. Also suggest you say “some” Indigenous clarity, and examples provided, see 5.1.5 people’s views... because it’s extremely important to recognize cultural diversity among the world’s Indigenous peoples – they do not all have the same cosmology, ontology, and epistemology. Brondizio 5 812 812 does not account only for the view of indigenous peoples, but also different The text has been revised to make the point more kinds of non-indigenous local communities; clear see 5.1.5 'Cultural values are seen to vary spatially and temporally with the dynamism of the social system, such as the spirit of relatedness— for example, Aboriginal people in Australia attribute the wave of mammal extinction to the decline of their ceremonies for those animals (Rose 1995, Pert et al. 2015{Jackson, 2015 #32)}. Socio-cultural valuations approaches more frequently consider how the social groups assign values to various parts of the landscape, resulting in values varying spatially with the dynamism of the environmental attributes (Raymond et al. 2009) "

Samson Gwali 5 30 812 30 812 Sentence not clear! The text has been revised to make the point more clear see 5.1.5 'Cultural values are seen to vary spatially and temporally with the dynamism of the social system, such as the spirit of relatedness— for example, Aboriginal people in Australia attribute the wave of mammal extinction to the decline of their ceremonies for those animals (Rose 1995, Pert et al. 2015{Jackson, 2015 #32)}. Socio-cultural valuations approaches more frequently consider how the social groups assign values to various parts of the landscape, resulting in values varying spatially with the dynamism of the environmental attributes (Raymond et al. 2009) "

Samson Gwali 5 30 818 30 818 The word "legible" needs to be put in context, otherwise the sentence This is a quote, so cannot be altered. remains fuzzy! Brondizio 5 824 826 this phrase is fine, the ending makes it a bit unclear; The paragraph has been rewritten to achieve greater clarity, and an example provided, see 5.1.5

Brondizio 5 827 828 it is not clear to me how/where this division between ethics and practices is The text has been revised to make clear that the only made; it does not seem to organize the bullet list or text that follows "ethic" under consideration is the one of "diversity in itself" see section 5.2.1 Canadian 5 31 828 you might also want to state that by “ethics” you mean only “diversity for Your suggestion has been incorporate and relevant Government its own sake” and not other ethical considerations such as the ethics of sentences added to 5.2.5.1 relationships between humans and other species-persons which are vitally important in some Indigenous cultures.

UK Government 5 31 829 31 835 As elsewhere, this does not seem to reflect the full range of relevant practices in developed countries The text has been revised and restructured to reflect the IPBES Conceptual framework and now more clearly addresses the range of values in "nature's benefits to people' and 'good quality of life' Brondizio 5 841 841 it is not clear to me how this heading relates to the text; it is a very nice text The suggestion has been considered and the heading illustrating the sophistication of local and indigenous entomological changed to signal the treatment of this as an ethic knowledge and the many forms of direct interaction with pollinators; the ""The ethic of valuing diversity: influences on text is really not corresponding to the heading of the section; one option pollinators and their resource plants"; this is also now would be to combine the text in this section with the section below on explained in 5.2.5.1 management; Sandra Diaz 5 31 841 33 912 Section on "Valuing of diversity for its own sake". This is a fascinating Your suggestion has been incorporated and the title section dsribing the level of detail of the perception of the diversity of changed to "The ethic of valuing diversity: influences polinators and their resource plants within ILK systems. However, I think it on pollinators and their resource plants"; the first two is misleading to call it "for its own sake". First, becaue it could be confused sentences have been revised to clarify our persective with biodiversity's intrinsic value, defined in the IPBES CF of the value on diversity see 5.2.5.1 beyond any human consideration. Clearly, people are valuing these species because they are finding them important physically or spiritually, therefore these are instrumental or relation values, not intrinsic values. Second, on the basis of the description, I think it is obvious that in some cases polllinators and their resurce plants are not valued on "for their own sake" but also as valuable sources of food and materials, or as an improtant part of their intangible culture. I suggest to change slightly the title and the opening senteces. I suggest replacing the title for "Valuing the diversity of pollinators and their resource plants". In the opening section, I suggest replacing the first two sencences with "Many indigenous peoples have a detailed perception of the biological diversity of pollinators and their resource plants. This translated into very fine distinctions...." If, conversely, perception of biodiversity of pollinators irrespective of their practical or symbolic importance is to be emphasized, then I suggest eliminating from this section all the considerations about the domesticated plants, the honey collection, etc. (which would be a pity).

Serena Heckler 5 31 842 31 851 It is not clear how the list of species domesticated by Ips supports the point The text has been revised to incorporate your that fine distinctions are recognised and names in landscapes, etc. suggestion and the sentence 'Observations of these distinctions enable Indigenous peoples and local communities to experiment and select varieties and species." now appears before the one listing all the species Sandra Diaz 5 31 844 31 845 Breeding skills, indeed emphasized by Darwin, have been developed by all Your suggestion has been incorporated and the societies, not just by those defined as IL. Therefore this sentence is a material deleted see 5.2.5.1 distraction, rather than adding to the main (quite important) point. I suggest deleting it. Serena Heckler 5 31 845 31 851 Some of the crops in this list were domesticated in South America (i.e. changed to central and south America see 5.2.5.1 potato, cassava, mate…), not Central America. Sandra Diaz 5 31 852 31 857 Part of the reasoning of the paragraph is confusing. No problem with the The reasoning of the paragraph has been revised to statement about a diversity of crop species and varieties being beneficial to incorporate this perspective, and it now begins with pollinators. But how the sentence starting with "for example" is empirical 'This ethic of valuing diversity translates into proof of such statement is not clear at all. The fact that there are are 17 connections (relational values) with a wider array of recognizable honey varieties, each coming from a stingless bee species does pollinators and their products. " not prove that a divesity of local crop species is beneficial for these bees, just the fact that there are a large nubmer of bees, each of them producing different honey (which could be different because the bees are different, because they use different plants, or both). Brondizio 5 853 853 this statement needs ellaboration; collection and selection are inter-related The text has been revised and this sentence is no in practices in agro-diversity management of species and varietietals. longer included.

Charlotte vant 5 31 854 31 854 Chapter 2 is on: Drivers of change of pollinators, polinator network and The text has been revised and this sentence is no Klooster pollinator services. Please check if this chapter does cover the statement longer included. made here that diversity of crops…. are known to be highly beneficial for bees and other pollinators and refer to chapter and section in complete manuscript when finalized. Charlotte vant 5 32 860 32 860 It is a general practice in botany to give the plant authorization the first Is this appropriate for this chapter? Is the scinetific Klooster time you to refer to a plant species in a manuscript which I advice to do categorisation (even scinetific names) appriate as here as well. Please change Cananga odorate in Cananga odorata (Lam.) many communities do not recognise these categories Hook.f. & Thomson which is the full and accepted name now. You can also in the same way BH. 3.2 add the plant family which is here Annonaceae. Please check all other the plant species yourself with the internationally accepted plant list: http://www.theplantlist.org/ to see whether the plant name in your text is still accepted (or a synoniem now which you can then add between brackets after mentioning the accepted name) and to add the authorization as well like I did for C. odorata. You can find more easy readable information on plant authorization with examples on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Author_citation_(botany) or check a botanist.

Serena Heckler 5 32 861 32 861 Bribri and Cambecar peoples . Corrected section 5.2.5.1 Liliana Bravo 5 32 865 32 869 According to the myth of origin of U'wa indigenous in Colombia, stingless Guiomar can you respond to this please bees provided the natural light. In addition, honey has been appreciated as source of purity, vitality, and strength for U'wa peoples. Similar ideas are also mentioned on case 21 (Page 54). The full citation is as follows: Falchetti, A. M., Nates-Parra, G. (2002). Las hijas del sol: Las abejas sin aguijón en el mundo Uwa, Sierra Nevada del Cocuy. En Rostros culturales de la fauna. 175-214. Bogota: Fundación Natura e ICANH.

Sebsebe Demissew 5 32 868 868 …25 Ethnospecies (What are these? Better to define or clearly indicate the Your suggestion has been incorporated and a differences with what is considered species in science) definition provided "In Colombia, Nates-Parra and Rosso-Londoño (2013) recorded nearly 50 common names used for the stingless bees, with wide variation between regions and informants. Common names do not always correspond one-to-one with scientific names, and such locally recognized entities are termed ethnospecies, which can match, under- differentiate or over-differentiate compared to scientific species (Otieno et al. 2015). " Nicolas Cesard 5 32 870 871 we need more details. what kind of products and from around 43 bee Guiomar can you provide more details about the species >> (probably not all are honeybees) products please Sebsebe Demissew 5 32 871 871 …. 43 species (as indicated above the ethnospecies and the species Your suggestion has been incorporated and a concepts have to be clarified some how) definition provided "In Colombia, Nates-Parra and Rosso-Londoño (2013) recorded nearly 50 common names used for the stingless bees, with wide variation between regions and informants. Common names do not always correspond one-to-one with scientific names, and such locally recognized entities are termed ethnospecies, which can match, under- differentiate or over-differentiate compared to scientific species (Otieno et al. 2015). " Samson Gwali 5 32 874 Rest of Rest Mention of indigenous people's name should be followed by the Kelsie can you put this in when you find the locations the text of the state/country or region where they live(d) to give the reader the for the map text contextualisation necessary for understanding the document! Nicolas Cesard 5 32 876 876 Kawaieté appear as Kawaiwete in the Panama Proceedings (Villas-Bôas Manuela can you address this comment please and 2015) and elsewhere in the report (see line 892 for instance, then case advise on correct spelling and change througout example 3 p. 34 taken from Villas-Bôas 2015). Sebsebe Demissew 5 32 876 876 25 ethno species (need to be consistent in using the term ethno species or ethnospecies? Correct to ethnospecies througout Serena Heckler 5 32 882 32 883 The Maya also take inspiration from the social life and colony organization ok of the beehive (Lopez-Maldonado 2006 [already cited], Lopez, Florina Miro (2015), A dialogue of indigenous women from Central America on pollination and pollinators and their impact on community-based development, workshop report. Paris: IPBES and UNESCO (http://goo.gl/r1HP) Charlotte vant 5 32 885 32 885 not fearing the spirits => not relevant here, please delete. Corrected Klooster Charlotte vant 5 32 885 32 885 please change Indians in Amerindians Corrected 3.2 BH Klooster Charlotte vant 5 32 889 32 889 please check Apis mellifera with appropriate checklist for animals ok Klooster (comparable to remark related to the plantlist) Charlotte vant 5 32 890 32 890 Please update name into Bignonia nocturna (Barb.Rodr.) L.G.Lohmann Needs a group decision. Corrected 3.2 BH Klooster (synoniem Tanaecium nocturnum), Bignoniaceae. If you add the plant family Bignoniaceae here, please do it everywhere for each plant. See http://www.theplantlist.org/tpl1.1/record/kew-318799

Charlotte vant 5 33 892 33 892 Please add reference to figure 5 somewhere in the text as well. It is not ok Klooster clear why this figure is added since the text is describing morphological structures of bees from a local perspective at all. Sandra Diaz 5 33 892 33 Figure 5 is quite interesing, but the legend should be more informative as to ok what is the point of showing this figure. Is the point showing how detiale dthe knowledge is? Are these parts important for different activities that the bee carries out? Does it provide a more detailed/diffferent perpective that a description by mainstream enthomology?

Sandra Diaz 5 33 896 33 899 Great account of the celebration of bee diversity. I suggest pooling it Your suggestion has been incorporated in the opening together with the staments at the beginning of this section. sentence of this section 5.2.5.1 Nicolas Cesard 5 32 899 900 This is a strange point to me since I don't think people Xavante knew about Manuela this makes perfect sense to me but can you bee's "domestication" (or "cultivation") back then. check if it needs clarity and reflects what Levi-Strauss 1966 intended Serena Heckler 5 33 899 33 899 "unleashed"? Corrected Sandra Diaz 5 33 906 33 910 Very important statement that deserves more visibility, e.g. by bringing it ok forward to the Executive Summary and even perhaps to the SPM.

E. Miriam 5 33 908 33 908 also their behaviours (ethology?) Did not alter. Ethology seems a too scientific and Aldasoro Maya objective way of evaluation behavours. The information is not presented to be able to describe it as ethological. BH (section 3.2) Nicolas Cesard 5 32 910 ".. a wide diversity in insect pollinators (Roué and al. 2015)". We could add Your suggestion has been incorporated and the source at the end of the sentence the reference to this paper which goes in the cited in 5.2.5.1 same direction. Roué, M., Battesti, V., Césard, N. and Simenel, R. 2015. Ethnoecology of pollination and pollinators, Revue d’ethnoécologie 7 (http://ethnoecologie.revues.org/2229) Sandra Diaz 5 33 910 33 912 "tactics such as fuzzy logics". Please spell out. Fuzzy logics, which appears to Fuzzy logic is now explained in 5.1.5 and removed have different meanings in different disciplines, is mentioned repeatedly in from this section this chapter, as a tactic. It therefore merits a more detailed explanation, the first time it is used. Otherwise, consider removing it.

Serena Heckler 5 33 911 33 911 The concept of "fuzzy logic" as it is used by Berkes and Berkes (2009) is used Fuzzy logic is now explained in 5.1.5 and removed several times. However, in layman's parlance, this term is often used from this section derogatively so the reference seems jarring. It would be useful to provide one or two sentences on exactly what is meant here and why it is a useful (and positive) concept for thinking about IPLC decision-making related to NRM. Simone Athayde 5 34 914 34 914 Kawaiwete (correct spelling) - suggest to include (also known as Kaiabi) Incorporated suggestion

Nicolas Cesard 5 34 929 939 The egg is the very first stage of the bee development (they are very small). Your suggestion has been incorporated and the text They are many instar stages (larvae) and the pupae. I think that it is better changed to larvae see case example 3 in 5.2.5.1 to quote "eggs" or talk only of larvae. Samson Gwali 5 34 936 34 936 Replace the word "those" with the word "which" Changed frome "those" to "that" 220520841018 5 34 945 38 1090 For other views and uses of bees in different cultures: traditional view and Your suggestion has been incorporated and two of the use of stingless bees in venezuelan Hotï, see Zent & Zent, 2012. Interciencia sources cite into section 5.2.5.1 27(1). Cano et al. Etnobiología 11 (2), 2013. Demps et al. 2012. Hum Ecol 40:427–434 Juan Manuel Rosso 5 34 945 38 1090 For other views and uses of bees in different cultures: traditional view and Your suggestion has been incorporated and two of the use of stingless bees in venezuelan Hotï, see Zent & Zent, 2012. Interciencia sources cite into section 5.2.5.1 27(1). Cano et al. Etnobiología 11 (2), 2013. Demps et al. 2012. Hum Ecol 40:427–434 Sandra Diaz 5 34 946 34 947 Highlight this very important sentence. It is important but have not highlighted because it is one element of important information see section 5.2.5.2 Nicolas Cesard 5 34 949 Battesti (not Battesto). Please correct also the reference. Another reference Reference corrected for Battesti in English is Roué and al. 2015). Roué, M., Battesti, V., Césard, N. and Simenel, R. 2015. Ethnoecology of pollination and pollinators, Revue d’ethnoécologie 7 Online : http://ethnoecologie.revues.org/2229

Nicolas Cesard 5 34 950 Better speak of prohibitions? The right reference is Césard and Heri 2015 We have kept the word 'taboo' and updated the (not Valentinus) reference see 5.2.5.2 REFERENCE UPDATED Césard, N., V. Heri. 2015. Indonesian forest communities: Indigenous and local knowledge of pollination and pollinators associated with food production. In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. Roué (eds.). Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1-5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp. 8-17. Nicolas Cesard 5 34 954 The right reference is Samorai Lengoisa 2015 (Samorai Lengoisa is the full Corrected reference see 5.2.5.2 name) REFERENCE UPDATED Samorai Lengoisa, J. 2015. Ogiek peoples of Kenya: Indigenous and local knowledge of pollination and pollinators associated with food production. In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. Roué (eds.). Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1- 5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp.18-26. Sandra Diaz 5 34 954 34 954 Define "biotemporal indicators" the first time they are mentioned. Our own bracketed definition (observed changes in biological processes over time) see 5.2.5.2

Sandra Diaz 5 34 961 34 961 "Benefits to people" is probably more appriate in this context than We have revised the sentence to incorporate benefits "ecosystem services" (see my general comments above). to people see 5.2.5.2 Nicolas Cesard 5 35 962 Loagan Bunut, Sarawak (Malaysian Borneo)... Koompassia excelsa Corrected sentence section 5.2.5.2 Nicolas Cesard 5 35 963 i am not sure that the Berawan people have the concept of keystone "Keystone" has been deleted and replaced by species. OR "The Tanying tree (Koompassia excelsa) of the Berawan people "important" and reference to Garibaldi reference of Loagan Bunut, Sarawak, Malaysia, can be considered as a "cultural deleted see 5.2.5.2 keystone species". The species is revered fir its spiritual values..." Nicolas Cesard 5 35 964 a prohibition? Suggested change has been incorporate in made section5.2.5.2 Nicolas Cesard 5 35 964 i will not use the terme beehive (which is an enclosed structure, not the Corrected to bees' nests in it see 5/2/5/2 case here) but bee nests which is more neutral. Chinese 5 35 967 "indicate"should be "indicates" Corrected section 5.2.5.2 government Nicolas Cesard 5 35 974 Koompassia excelsa Corrected section 5.2.5.2 Nicolas Cesard 5 35 975 Riau Province, Sumatra, Indonesia Corrected section 5.2.5.2 Nicolas Cesard 5 35 982 (on sialang trees in the neighboring Tesso Nilo National Park, see Césard Dami to check and Heri 2015) Nicolas Cesard 5 35 989 The information on the Petalangan is certainly correct but is coming from a Dami to check personal webpage (from a community member?) (Titinbk 2013). We should say it somewhere. Nicolas Cesard 5 35 990 Verdeaux never wrote on (or went to) Indonesia. His paper is on Ethiopia. Corrected 5.2.5.2

Catherine 5 35 995 35 995 Note reference source error Corrected 5.2.5.2 Robinson Patricia Balvanera 5 35 995 35 995 Check for error in reference Corrected 5.2.5.2

220520841018 5 35 1000 36 1003 In order to homogenize translation "abeias-brabas" and "abeias-gentle" sentences rephrased coul be best: "abeias-fierce and abeias-gentle" or fierce bees and gentle bees. Juan Manuel Rosso 5 35 1000 36 1003 In order to homogenize translation "abeias-brabas" and "abeias-gentle" sentences rephrased coul be best: "abeias-fierce and abeias-gentle" or fierce bees and gentle bees. Serena Heckler 5 36 1002 36 1002 As "abeias-gentle" works in English, it might also make sense to translate sentences rephrased "abeias-brabas", i.e. fierce or aggressive. Jyothis 5 1006 1010 Honey hunting is the main occupation of certain sub castes of tribal Dear Ro please check Sathyapalan communities in south India and their caste is also named after honey e.g., Then Kuruma, Janu kuruma etc , Then means honey, Jainu also mean honey

Nicolas Cesard 5 36 1008 1009 Their knowledge of different migration and settling patterns of the various The sentences has been rephrased to"Their honeybee species of the region, and of their breeding schedules are vital... knowledge of different migration and settling patterns of the various honeybee species of the region, and of their breeding schedules are vita" see 2.5.2.5

Nicolas Cesard 5 36 1010 Marchenay writes about Apis mellifera. Detailed knowledge of local people Sentences rephrased about Apis mellifera' behaviour underpin diverse swarm capture... Sandra Diaz 5 36 1015 36 1015 I suggest replacing "bear grass (Xerophyllu, tenax)" with "bear 'grass' sentences rephrased as suggested see 5.2.5.2 (Xorophyllum tenax, in the Liliaceae family)". Otherwise, people might find it odd that a grass (most of the time Poaceae, and wind pollinated) is pollinated by an insect. Sandra Diaz 5 36 1015 36 1024 This requires more careful rasoning/writing, in particular the statement that the text has been revised to incorporate this "fires promete pollintor visitation". Probably it is not fire itself htat perspective, adding the explanation offered in the promotes visitation (fire and smoke are known to repel hymenopteran paper "Experiments on abandoned farmland in south- insects). Porably the effect is indirect: fire favours the spread of bear grass, eastern USA have found that fire promotes pollinator and perhpas its flowering, which in turn attracts the insects that pollinate visitation indirectly through increasing the density of this important plant. So fire is likely to be used not to atract the pollinators, flowering plants, in that case the forb Verbesina but rather to help the spread of this highly useful plant. Pollinators just alternifolia, suggesting the usefulness of fire follow the flowers. management as a tool for supporting pollination services (Van Nuland et al. 2013). " see 5.2.5.2

Nicolas Cesard 5 37 1047 1050 Sorry, but i am not convinced by that case's study. A bit surprising that the Dami can you check this please main sources of nectar and pollen are coming not from the forest but from plantations and rice fields... NEED TO CHECK WITH ORIGINAL TEXT

Nicolas Cesard 5 37 1059 The right reference is Césard and Heri 2015 (not Valentinus) corrected Simone Athayde 5 37 1061 37 1061 Correction: Kupeirup Corrected Nicolas Cesard 5 37 1069 The right reference is Samorai Lengoisa 2015 (Samorai Lengoisa is the full Corrected name) Nicolas Cesard 5 38 1079 East Kalimantan, Indonesia. Corrected Nicolas Cesard 5 38 1081 The Punan Kelay (Berau) practices of bee-hunting... Corrected Nicolas Cesard 5 38 1090 I would add another Punan example (from the Punan Tubu) more on Among the Punan Tubu (in Malinau Regency), the biotemporal indicators. "Among the Punan Tubu (Malinau), several signs season for honey harvesting is signaled by the announce the beginning of the honey season. The meranti, sago palm and flowering of meranti (Shorea spp.), sago palm and several fruit trees bloom first, then the breeding season of the wild pigs several fruit trees, accompanied by singing of birds (Sus barbatus) begins and hordes of boars migrate in anticipation of fruits. (e.g.great argus pheasant Agursianus argus) and This is documented by a myth of origin in which animals have the cicadas, and followed by the breeding season for the appearance and behavior of men : bees occupy the branches of a huge tree wild pig (Sus barbatus). Hordes of boars migrate in under which wild boars live. During blooms, birds like owei (great argus anticipation of fruits. The mythology of the Punan pheasant, Argusianus argus), the kakapbakung, and insects like towé (a Tubu tell of the link between bees on huge tree cicada) sing (Mamung and Abot 2000)." The book is difficult to find (i got a branches and pig underneath since the creation time copy). REFERENCE. Mamung, D, Abot, D., 2000, Telang otah urun lunang {Mamung, 2000 #677}. see 5.2.5.2 (air susu hutan). Sebuah potongan cerita Punan dalam mengelola hutan. In: Tim Plasma (ed.) Membongkar mitos. Membangun peran. Inisiatif Lokal dalam Mengelola Sumberdaya Alam di Kalimantan Timur. Jakarta: Lembaga Pengembangan Lingkungan dan Sumberday Alam (Plasma), pp. 61-77. Brondizio 5 1092 1258 this section is very interesting and informative; great examples; it could The text has been revised to incorporate a section on benefit from using examples from the work of Ivette Perfecto with coffee agroforestry and highlight some of Perfecto's fine agroforestry and pollinators in Central America; she has published several contributions 'Agroforesty systems globally support articles and books relevant to the chapter; in fact, her work is a notable commodity production, particularly of coffee, rubber, absence from the reference list. also relevant for section 4.1.2 arecanut and cacoa, with variable outcomes for pollination services highly dependent on the intensity of management, for example of sychnonicity of flowering (Robbins et al. 2015{Boreux, 2013 #688)}. Two decades of ecological research into traditional shaded coffee plantations in Latin America show they provides refuges for biodiversity and a range of ecosystem serices such as microclimatic regulation, nitrogen sequestration into soil and pollination; one study identified the most predictive factors for bee abundance and species richness were tree species, the number of tree species in flower, and the canopy cover of the coffee agroforestry (Jha and Vandermeer 2010). Other studies have identied that an inverse relationship frequently exists between farm size and agricultural productivity—in a number of countries smaller farms have higher crop yields than do larger ones (FAO 2014b, Larson et al. 2014). While these farms are more labour-intense than capital-intense, which limits their extent especially in contexts of rural- urban migration, evidence is accumulating that in the tropical world the resulting landscape matrix with fragments of high-biodiversity native vegetation amidst the agriculture produces both high-quality food to the most needy and maintains ecoystems services such as pollination (Perfecto and Vandermeer Sandra Diaz 5 38 1093 38 1095 Highlight this very important sentence. ?2010). " see 5.2.5.3 Brondizio 5 1095 1096 delete '(slash-burn)' as an example of swidden system and use 'shifting Your suggestion has been incorporated see 5.2.5.3 cultivation'; swidden systems include a variety of shifting cultivation systems, some based on burning, but others not; Nicolas Cesard 5 38 1103 Simenel et al. 2015, Roué and al. 2015). Simenel 2015 for an more complete Your additional citation has been included. version (French) and Roué et al. 2015 for an English version. REFERENCES Simenel R. et al. 2015. La domestication de l'abeille par le territoire : un exemple d'apiculture holiste dans le sud marocain. Techniques et Culture 63, 258-279. Roué, M., Battesti, V., Césard, N. and Simenel, R. 2015. Ethnoecology of pollination and pollinators, Revue d’ethnoécologie 7 (http://ethnoecologie.revues.org/2229) 1104. Same. Crousilles 2012 is included in Simenel et al. 2015 220520841018 5 38 1104 38 1107 This sentence seems like thematically out of place in this section 3.4 The text has been revised to clarify that this section is "Valuing of diversified farming systems for pollinators". It could be moved about farming bees see 5.2.5.3 "The diverse farming for sectio 3.6? systems of indigeneous peoples and local communities include a range of practices for farming fully and semi-domesticated bees. "

Juan Manuel Rosso 5 38 1104 38 1107 This sentence seems like thematically out of place in this section 3.4 The text has been revised to clarify that this section is "Valuing of diversified farming systems for pollinators". It could be moved about farming bees see 5.2.5.3 "The diverse farming for sectio 3.6? systems of indigeneous peoples and local communities include a range of practices for farming fully and semi-domesticated bees. "

Johan van Veen 5 38 1104 38 1107 Meliponicultureculture is practiced throughout the tropics of the world, correction made and no management of diseases is mentioned in the literature, only management of pests especially phorid flies (Pseudohypocera sp) and ants.

Sandra Diaz 5 38 1108 38 1109 Something is lacking in this sentenece. Guiomar can you check this one please 220520841018 5 38 1111 39 1132 Please consider other references to offer a wide view of practices and Guiomar and/or Javier, could you please consider species used in meliponiculture in other countries of Latin America and what if anything we need to add here. other regions: in Nates-Parra & Rosso-Londoño, 2013 (cited in this chapter), there is a list of 34 species managed in Colombia and a summary of some of these references in Table 3. Different chapters in Vit et al. (2013. Pot-Honey: A Legacy of Stingless Bees. Springer) list species reared from Argentina, Australia, Venezuela, French Guiana, Guatemala, Costa Rica and Mexico. For Brasil (Rosso et al., 2001. Memorias del II Seminario Mexicano sobre Abejas Sin Aguijón. p.28-35. Venturieri, G. et al. 2012. Chapter 11 In V. L. Imperatriz-Fonseca et al. (Eds.), Polinizadores no Brasil: contribuição e perspectivas para a biodiversidade, uso sustentável, conservação e serviços ambientais); Perú (Rasmussen & Castillo. Rev Per Ent. 2003;43:159-164) Austrália (Heard & Dollin, 2000. Bee World 81: 116-125; Halcroft et al. 2013. Journal of Apicultural Research.52(2):1-7), África (Ghana: Aidoo et al., 2011. Bees for Development Journal 100: 10-11).

Juan Manuel Rosso 5 38 1111 39 1132 Please consider other references to offer a wide view of practices and ok species used in meliponiculture in other countries of Latin America and other regions: in Nates-Parra & Rosso-Londoño, 2013 (cited in this chapter), there is a list of 34 species managed in Colombia and a summary of some of these references in Table 3. Different chapters in Vit et al. (2013. Pot-Honey: A Legacy of Stingless Bees. Springer) list species reared from Argentina, Australia, Venezuela, French Guiana, Guatemala, Costa Rica and Mexico. For Brasil (Rosso et al., 2001. Memorias del II Seminario Mexicano sobre Abejas Sin Aguijón. p.28-35. Venturieri, G. et al. 2012. Chapter 11 In V. L. Imperatriz-Fonseca et al. (Eds.), Polinizadores no Brasil: contribuição e perspectivas para a biodiversidade, uso sustentável, conservação e serviços ambientais); Perú (Rasmussen & Castillo. Rev Per Ent. 2003;43:159-164) Austrália (Heard & Dollin, 2000. Bee World 81: 116-125; Halcroft et al. 2013. Journal of Apicultural Research.52(2):1-7), África (Ghana: Aidoo et al., 2011. Bees for Development Journal 100: 10-11). 220520841018 5 38 1111 39 1132 The last part of first paragraph of Case example 7, seems more related with The case study heading has been revised to clarify section 3.7 that this is about farming bees 'Farming and semi- domesticating stingless bees in India and South America" see 5.2.5.3 Juan Manuel Rosso 5 38 1111 39 1132 The last part of first paragraph of Case example 7, seems more related with The case study heading has been revised to clarify section 3.7 that this is about farming bees 'Farming and semi- domesticating stingless bees in India and South America" see 5.2.5.3 220520841018 5 39 1129 39 1129 The reference "Rosso and Parra 2008" is out of place. These authors do not The source has been removed. made a revision of stingless bees species reared in Brazil.

Juan Manuel Rosso 5 39 1129 39 1129 The reference "Rosso and Parra 2008" is out of place. These authors do not The source has been removed. made a revision of stingless bees species reared in Brazil.

Sandra Diaz 5 39 1134 39 1143 If this section 3 is exclusively about IL peoples, why is thi (important) The text now includes a definition of indigenous paragraph here? It seems to deal with non-idigenous, as well as IL peoples. peoples and local communities in 5.1.2, which makes clear why this material is included in this section.

Serena Heckler 5 39 1138 39 1138 The English for "maracuya" is passionfruit correction made Samson Gwali 5 39 1146 39 1146 Kenya is in East Africa while Ghana is in West Africa Correction made Daniela Leite 5 39 1151 39 1151 It is missing the year after the reference Martins and Johnson. Citation corrected with date Samson Gwali 5 39 1151 39 1151 Citation "Martins and Johnson" is not complete. Year of publication missing! Citation corrected with date

Sandra Diaz 5 40 1164 40 1166 This account about the earliest use of honey in Africa will be better placed Your suggestion has been incorporated and this as part of a more general sentence in the inroduction to the chapter, sentence moved to 5.2.3 summarzing all the very early evidence of honey/bee use across the world.

Sandra Diaz 5 40 1171 A lot of the wild plant diversity of the forest had existed for a very long time ok when humans first arrived, so it was not "co-created' (like a number of domestic and semi-domestic varieties were). "Fostered" would be more appropriate in this context. UK Government 5 40 1178 40 1211 This is a general comment and not only in relation to this case study. ok Overall there are many examples and case studies in the chapter but some have very little detail - sometimes just a sentence or two. There could perhaps be more attempt to draw out lessons from across examples and case studies. It may be better to have fewer well targeted examples with more detail Sandra Diaz 5 40 1178 40 1211 The role of pollinators needs to be made clearer in this example. They are Guiomar and Javier, could you amend this case mentioned in lines 1207-1208, but it is not clear whether they are example to make the pollination link more clear. Also I connected to the plants enumerated above; the pollinator of the salpor put some of the text about the lost wax method in maize is realted to wind, not animal pollinators. 5.2.2, can you please check if this meets Vera's request re the gold ornaments. With the Mayan Codex on bees that she also asked about, can you please check case examples 0-7 and 0-19. Javier I have put the stingless bee keeping case study that you edited in as number 0-14 in the livelihoods section. and have also referred back to it in the Section 4 management and mitigation. Can you please check these Sebsebe Demissew 5 40 1203 1203 : macuy (Solanum sp) need to be : macuy ( Solanum sp.). I hope this will corrected be checked throughout the text. Sebsebe Demissew 5 40 1205 1205 black beans (Phaseolus ) need to be black beans (Phaseolus sp.) corrected

Sebsebe Demissew 5 40 1205 1205 chile (Capsicum spp. ) need to be chile (Capsicum spp.) corrected

E. Miriam 5 41 1222 41 1222 The gender should be in italics and it would be better if it is specified Corrected as suggested Aldasoro Maya between parenthesis that it is a bat. Johan van Veen 5 41 1251 41 1253 Melipona beecheii (check spelling) is kept in wooden log hives "jobones" Text has been revised to remove this error not in clay pots. The species commonly being kept in clay pots is Scaptotrigona mexicana. E. Miriam 5 41 1251 41 1251 Mariacca is misspelled, the correct word is with only one "c": Mariaca. Text has been revised to remove this error Aldasoro Maya Moreover, I suggest to make teh reference to the particular paper on that volume that adress the management of Melipona in homegardens. See correction on line 3383 E. Miriam 5 41 1254 41 1254 Mariacca is misspelled, the correct word is with only one "c": Mariaca Text has been revised to remove this error Aldasoro Maya Sandra Diaz 5 41 1257 41 1257 I suggest replacing "production of ecosystem services, and provision of food Text has been revised to remove this error security and food sovereignity" with"provision of numerous benefits to people, and as the basis for food security and sovereignity"

Sandra Diaz 5 41 1259 Section 3.5. In what way this section is fundamentally different from, and We have revised the text to clarify the differences not part of, section 2.2? between framing as "ecosystems services" and framing as "nature's gifts". Nicolas Cesard 5 41 1264 They are probably singing mantras. ok Sebsebe Demissew 5 42 1271 1271 .. (Datura ) as (Datura sp.); Mandca spp. Need to be Manduca spp. Corrected

Nicolas Cesard 5 42 1275 Samorai Lengoisa 2015 Corrected Simone Athayde 5 42 1276 42 1276 Correction: The Ikpeng indigenous people in the Brazilian Amazon….(they Corrected are not a sub-group or group of the Kawaiwete - they are a different tribe.

Charlotte vant 5 42 1281 42 1281 Please refer to case example 11 in the text Case example is now referred to at the beginning of Klooster 5.3.6 Denise Matias 5 40 1285 40 1286 Please check whether Philippine stingless bees are still Trigona or has been Dami can you check this please affected by the genus change to Tetragonula. Nicolas Cesard 5 42 1294 1295 I will change the last sentence. "In Danau Sentarum National Park, West the text has been revised to incorporate your Kalimantan, climbers sing mantras at different stages of the collection. suggestion see section 5.2.5.4 When the scale is ready, they welcome its strength. Once on the branch, while smoking the bees, they sing again to appease the spirit of the tree, and when cutting the comb, they welcome the upcoming harvest. Once honey is harvested, they ask their ancestors to protect the basket in its descent. One last song marks the end of the harvest, the final descent of the climbers and the return to the village (Césard and Heri 2015). Part of the lyrics is improvised, not without humour (often as honey alludes to a beautiful young woman and to her charms) (Mulder et al. 2000) REFERENCE. Mulder, V., Heri, V. and Wickham, T. 2000. Traditional honey and wax collection with Apis dorsata in the upper Kapuas lake region, West Kalimantan. Borneo Research Bulletin. 31:246–260.

Charlotte vant 5 42 1297 42 1297 Please refer to fig 6 in the text. The text has been revised to incorporate a reference Klooster to this figure in section " Nicolas Cesard 5 43 1325 44 1340 I will replace the second and third paragraphes by the one below: The text has been revised to incorporate the "Local people in Laos, particularly in the Northwestern region (Meung suggested material see section 5.2.5.4 district of Bakeo Province) use rustic log hives for their traditional beekeeping practices. Various methods and tools were developed in different parts of Asia for many purposes, starting from tools for climbing, for honey collection, and for transport. Several communities have also developed "nesting sites" for the feral colonies Apis dorsata to come and start their nests. Although the constructions varies from one community to the next, the basic principle structures is the same. They use the traditional techniques of putting a two poles on the ground or using two tree branches, and adding a third pole on top of the two poles or putting up a sheet of wood. In Indonesia, the name for this apparatus varies across the region. In Western Kalimantan the structure is called tikung, and in Sulawesi it is called tingku, in the Belitung it is known as sunggau (Hadisoesilo and Kuntadi 2007). In Belitung, people link gelam flowers (Melaleuca leucadendron) to attracting large swarms from the nearby islands of Sumatra and Borneo. Honeybees are seen to first arrive for the pollen, then proceed to build wax com and wait on the structure until the flowers produce nectar (Césard and Heri 2015)."

Nicolas Cesard 5 43 1342 1344 Figure 7. An honey plank (tikung) used in traditional beekeeping in the Change accepted Danau Sentarum National Park, West Kalimantan province, Indonesia (Source: Hadisoesilo and Kuntadi 2007, Photo: N. Césard) Charlotte vant 5 43 1372 44 1374 Klooster Suggest to delete the sentence here since it is not relevant in context of Change not accepted as we believe these are discussing 'innovation and adaptation with pollinators' (beekeeping) innovations in beekeeping. Samson Gwali 5 44 1372 44 1372 Insert "of" between "use" and "cow" Change accepted Daniela Leite 5 44 1376 45 1378 We have chosen not to accept this change as readers I think that it would be appropriated to give some example or summarize can easily find the reference online. the technologies and innovations that are written in the manual. Daniela Leite 5 45 1378 45 1380 Since the text mention the tradition of people of Algeria is in the present Change accepted tense, I think that it would be appropriated to mention some more recent reference. I suggest mention the reference in the pg. 93 line 3215 (Hussein, M (2001)… Samson Gwali 5 45 1378 45 1378 Word missing between "sounthern" and "Algeria" Change accepted, the word "part" is inserted Samson Gwali 5 45 1381 45 1381 Insert "in" between "wax" and "east" Change accepted, the word "in" is inserted Serena Heckler 5 45 1381 45 1382 This sentence is not clear to me. 10 times superior in what sense? Higher production? Are combs not destroyed in "modern" beekeeping? How does The text has been revised and this sentence is no this lead to more wax for traditional beekeeping? Just a clarification. longer inlcuded Simone Athayde 5 45 1385 45 1386 Correction: Seven mechanisms of ENVIRONMENTAL ADAPTATION have Change accepted, term environmental inserted been identified among the Kawaiwete (Kaiabi) indigenous people in the Brazilian Amazon:… Sandra Diaz 5 45 1396 Case example 13 does not seem to be directly related to pollinators or The text has been edited to emphasise how these polllinator. activities foster pollination and pollinators. Charlotte vant 5 45 1396 45 1396 Please refer to case 13 in text Change accepted Klooster Serena Heckler 5 45 1416 45 1416 English translation of "yuca" = manioc or cassava Change accepted Charlotte vant 5 45 1425 45 1425 Please refer to case 14 in text Change accepted Klooster Marie Stenseke 5 60 1441 70 2251 Section 4.3.4: This section should gain from also presenting the challenges ok related to participatory management. First, the very concept of participation can have various understandings, also covering arrangements where rather little power is delegated. Second, local participation is not a guarantee for sustainable practices.

Charlotte vant 5 46 1454 46 1454 Please refer to case 14 in text Change accepted Klooster Serena Heckler 5 46 1456 46 1456 Kayapo (with no "s") Change accepted Liliana Bravo 5 46 1457 46 1466 Additional information that might be of interest: Text has been revised to include this information in Pre-hispanic peoples of the central region in Colombia, utilized bee wax as section 5.2.2 basis of their work as goldsmiths. Detailed info can be found at: http://admin.banrepcultural.org/node/25811 http://www.metalactual.com/revista/24/actualidad_prehistoria.pdf See for instance Page 14: Técnicas de elaboración: fundición a la cera perdida "Lost-wax casting"

Samson Gwali 5 46 1473 46 1473 Word missing between "use" and "to" Change accepted, the phrase is removed Charlotte vant 5 46 1478 46 1478 Please add some more text after line 1393 which now ends with a summery The text has been revised to clarify the links to Klooster of 7 mechanisms of adaptation. Can you tell something more about that or polinnation see 5.2.5.4 are the cases examples of that? The paragraph has a lot of cases compare to the amount of body text. Sandhya 5 47 1480 50 1621 this section (and chapter in general- pg.31. line 841 onwards) is too much The focus of this section is on livelihoods, and the Chandrasekharan about honey rather than about all major pollinators - bees, butterflies, bats focus on honey reflects substantial evidence that and birds - in a balanced manner. A better balance can perhaps be honey production has great significance attempted? Can draw from chapter 1, pg 17, pp.311-312

Sandhya 5 47 1489 47 1491 too generalised. Could be about the Soligas (one tribal group) in the Javier this refers to the sentence you contributed that Chandrasekharan BilligiriRangan Hills, perhaps? "Key elements for the recovery of stingless beekeeping have been: teaching and extension work, respect for their local costumes and traditions, increased value of products, development of a market niche for stingless bees products." could you give a source or indicate if it is about a particular group, thanks Charlotte vant 5 48 1523 50 1591 Is it possible to make a table with uses and literature references instead of A table has been considered but not included as the Klooster text only? number of different categories and examples would make it unwieldy Jyothis 5 1533 1540 this part shows some Asian understanding, Indian case stingless bee honey ok Sathyapalan is considered as the most valuable in Ayurveda system of medicine, many Ayurveda medicine are consumed in honey. Samson Gwali 5 49 1580 49 1580 Replace "the" between "shown" and "it" with "that" ok Sandra Diaz 5 50 1592 Case example 17. Please provide source, either literature, oral presentation, Peter could you check a source for this, now case etc. example 0-16 Samson Gwali 5 50 1594 50 1594 Replace "been" with "beer" in the sentence beginning "Honey been is taken corrected …" Andony 5 61 1609 62 1633 The Liss et al. review is very good. But reading this section one might get ok Melathopoulos the impression that, in the valuation exercise, pollination services are measured in a myriad of different ways. This is not the case. While there has been a number of different approaches (e.g., replacement costs, contingent valuation, etc) the predominant approach relies on one measurement (dependency) and one dataset (Klien et al. 2007). This fact should be highlighted in this section.

Brondizio 5 1622 1724 this section is fine, although romanticizing community relationships and The text has been revised to incorporate this governance in few places; given that it is about governance, it misses the perspective in 5.4.7.2 opportunity of talking about the global boom in indigenous reserves and territories and how land and resource ownership have been changing dramatically with various implications for resource management affecting pollination (among others). UK Government 5 50 1622 The text has been revised to explain this in the second What does ‘governance by pollinators mean’? sentence of section 5.3.5 UK Government 5 50 1623 This is only one definition amongst many. It is a limited definition because it The definition is useful in this context for recognising does not mention actors and institutions. For a more comprehensive how interactions with pollinators can be part of definition see Davoudi, S. Healey, P., Vigar, G. with Majale, M (2009) The governance institutional and regulatory framework for planning in: The UN-Habitat Global Report On Human Settlements 2009: Planning Sustainable Cities, Earthscan, London; Chapter 4, pp. 72-93

UK Government 5 51 1627 The term ‘local communities’ should be dropped from this chapter or The term local communities has now been defined in defined more precisely and clearly because, a neighbourhood in London section 5.1.2 and Box 1 can also be called a local community but the decision making in a local community in London doesn’t necessarily resemble the features listed here (i.e. the use of a spoke person controlled by a council of elders).

Serena Heckler 5 51 1627 51 1635 These 4 features are sweeping generalizations that have many exceptions. The text has been revised to make clear there are For instance, many IPLCs have governance systems that are very many exceptions and to reduce the emphasis on hierarchical and land tenure is diverse, but may be family-based. Of course, harmony see section 5.3.5 there are notable examples that follow this system, but they are not by any means universal to all IPLCs. The language should be tweaked here to make this clear. UK Government 5 51 1627 51 1635 These features give the impression that for ‘indigenous’ people there are The text has been revised to incorporate your no power relations, tensions or conflicts in their decision making processes. suggestion and these dynamics recognised 'Political This is a highly unrealistic (and romanticised) view of ‘indigenous’ people struggles over power and influence in decision-making and ‘local communities’. Case example 18 (starting at line 1645) clearly by ILK-holders continue to be promulagated through shows that such a view is far from reality as the General council and the these governance systems, despite the dominance of priest exert power on the rest of the community. Also the example nation-state structures, in both developing and mentioned in lines 1699 to 1706 shows the hierarchical systems and the developed world contexts, and affect the extent to significance of social status (and hence power and control) in land holding. which pollinator-friendly practices will continue (Buendia et al. 2006, Hill et al. 2012)." see 5.3.5. Denise Matias 5 51 1629 51 1629 "Decision making is consensus driven, OFTEN without any formal leader" I The text has been revised to incorporate this would suggest rethinking OFTEN and changing it to SOMETIMES. perspective and the reference to leaders removed. Andony 5 62 1636 63 1639 There should be some discussion about the Klein et al. dataset. While I Misplace comment, should be in Chapter 4 Melathopoulos completely agree that we need to consider interacting agronomic factors that affect producer profits, I don't think Klein et al. reflect the actual "initial/fruit pod set" response to pollinator visitation. Valuations since Klein et al. seem to overlook one of the key insights of that study, namely "we found that inadequate information is available on the pollination biology and pollinator requirements of many crops, especially when considering differences among modern varieties and the contribution to pollination services by different pollinator species" (p 310). The authors, consequently, call for more data from crops collected across multiple years and different growing regions. But as Pauly (1996) long ago noted for fisheries data, the "preliminary" character of preliminary data is readily forgotten. Consequently, there has been little effort to revise these dependency values. The vast majority of valuations and forecasts since 2008 have relied on this dataset. We seem to proliferate new methodologies for valuation but have a real inability to reflect on the empirical grounds from which we draw our inferences. This problem has been highlighted elsewhere (Bauer and Sue Wing 2014, Melathopoulos et al. 2015 and Hanley et al. 2015). Somewhere in the report this problem needs to be identified. || Pauly, D., 1996. One hundred million tonnes of fish, and fisheries research. Fisheries Research 25, 25-38.

Andony 5 63 1639 63 1658 It is unclear why the effect of 'cultivar' is accord a special status in this Should be in Chapter 4 Melathopoulos section and be seperated from "5.2.3.1 Crop management and inputs". I do not understand how this section isn't just dealing with one of the "determinants of the benefit(s) of pollination service" (1660) Sandra Diaz 5 51 1645 Case example 18 does not seem to be directly related to pollinators or The text has been revised to make the links obvious, polllinator. adding "Guna people explained that they do no see pollination and pollinators as a distinct theme, rather that life must be preserved and, in order to do so, plant reproduction (from pollination to seed dispersal) is very important. The preservation of life is linked to following the Guna system of governance over human conduct, which is based on the respect for life, which includes protecting the life of birds, insects and the plants on which they depend. " see section 5.3.5

Serena Heckler 5 51 1645 51 1674 Guna Yala case is interesting and informative, but seems to speak more to a The text has been revised to make the links obvious, model for autonomy, rather than the general principles from Fenelon and adding "Guna people explained that they do no see Hall (2008) at the top of the page. pollination and pollinators as a distinct theme, rather that life must be preserved and, in order to do so, plant reproduction (from pollination to seed dispersal) is very important. The preservation of life is linked to following the Guna system of governance over human conduct, which is based on the respect for life, which includes protecting the life of birds, insects and the plants on which they depend. " see section 5.3.5

Nicolas Cesard 5 51 1651 See updated reference Unclear what reference comment refers to. Daniela Leite 5 51 1657 51 1659 "In February 2015, the Guna will celebrate 90 years of autonomy"needs Change accepted updating. Samson Gwali 5 51 1659 51 1659 Replace "will celebrate" with "celebrated" Change accepted UK Government 5 51 1671 What law? Needs to be referenced The text has been revised to include (customary) to clarify the meaning Serena Heckler 5 51 1675 52 1685 This case is corroborated in Lopez Miro, Florina (2015) cited above. Guiomar/Javier, Serena is referring to corrobation of the case that says "The Mayan Miatschahales (philosophers), as is clear from the Codex held in Madrid, used stingless bee (Melipona beecheii), as a model for adequate social organization as well as ecological and political ethics. ...now case exampole 0- 19. I couldn't find corroboration of it in the Proceedings, would you mind checking or follow up with Serena please Andony 5 64 1685 64 1687 Glad to see the Bennett el al. reference. This is an excellent point. ok Melathopoulos Nicolas Cesard 5 52 1689 Césard and Heri 2015) Change accepted. Nicolas Cesard 5 52 1691 "More than 280 trees have been registered so far to the park authorities Change accepted. Sentence deleted (Césard and Heri 2015)." Please skip this sentence. This is right but i don't give the info in the proceedings. Nicolas Cesard 5 52 1692 In Sumatra and Kalimantan, honeybee trees belong... (Césard and Heri Change accepted. 2015). They are not called sialang in Kalimantan. Nicolas Cesard 5 52 1695 Are you sure about the reference? Novellino works in Palawan, Philippines. Change accepted. You can replace by "In Ujun Kulong National Park, West Java, there is no ownership of the trees... (Césard and Heri 2015).

Nicolas Cesard 5 52 1696 1697 No sialang trees in Borneo. And the idea of soils being more fertile under Your suggestion has been incorporated and the bee trees is an old myth. The second part of the sentence is correct. sentence deleted. However Verdeaux wrote Ethiopia not on Indonesia. I would skip this sentence. Sandra Diaz 5 52 1699 52 1706 Explain more how is this relevant to pollinators and pollination or delete. The text has been revised to clarify the link to pollination, adding 'enabling access to resources with sets of checks that contribute to ensuring that pollinators resources and pollination resources are not over-exploited " see section 5.3.7 UK Government 5 52 1711 Does the statement ‘local communities across the world’ include an inner borough of London? If not, please provide a precise definition of what is Your suggestion has been incorporated and a meant by ‘local communities’. definition provided in section 5.1.2 and Box 1 Nicolas Cesard 5 52 1715 Samorai Lengoisa 2015 Change accepted. Reference corrected Nicolas Cesard 5 53 1717 (Césard and Heri 2015) Change accepted. Reference corrected Nicolas Cesard 5 53 1718 I will not mention "worthy of a prince" since Hitam Manis means Black Change accepted Sweet (if translated from Indonesian). The Buchmann and Nabhan 1996 doesn't look like a first hand reference… Samson Gwali 5 53 1719 53 1719 Replace "refer" with "referring" Correction made Denise Matias 5 53 1727 53 1738 Pälawan should be Palawan or Palaw'an Correct to Palawan Serena Heckler 5 53 1727 53 1727 Indigenous peoples (with "s") Correction made Samson Gwali 5 53 1729 53 1729 Replace "theses" with "these" Change accepted. Samson Gwali 5 53 1729 53 1729 Define or explain what "karst" is! Text has been revised to incorporate a definition of karst (towers, cliffs and ridges of limestone) see 5.3.7

Andony 5 66 1732 66 1738 But importantly Garibaldi et al. 2013 suggest that such interactions Passed to Chapter 4 Melathopoulos between honey bees and other species are not typical (i.e., the lack of an interaction between honey bees x non-Apis species in models predicting fruit set from visitation rates). This finding should be worked into this section. Nicolas Cesard 5 53 1748 1749 A collector party, known as menumbai, consists of several peoples with Text has been revised to incorporate these corrections. different roles and responsibilities. The juragan tuo is the coordinator of the harvesting team, usually.... He passes knowledge to the juragan mudo,... (menumbai is a verbal form, tuo means old, and mudo, young)

Andony 5 66 1750 66 1755 Similar studies include Javorek et al. on blueberries and Artz and Nault on Passed to Chapter 4 Melathopoulos pumpkin. ||| Artz, D.R., Nault, B.A., 2011. Performance of Apis mellifera, Bombus impatiens, and Peponapis pruinosa (Hymenoptera: Apidae) as pollinators of pumpkin. Journal of economic entomology 104, 1153-1161. | Javorek, S., Mackenzie, K., Vander Kloet, S., 2002. Comparative pollination effectiveness among bees (Hymenoptera: Apoidea) on lowbush blueberry (Ericaceae: Vaccinium angustifolium). Annals of the Entomological Society of America 95, 345-351. Samson Gwali 5 53 1752 53 1752 Include a few words to describe who the "mudo" is, just like has been done Change accepted. Sentence added. for the "tuo" at the beginning of the previous sentence. Samson Gwali 5 54 1778 54 1778 Include the common name (Stingless bees) before "Melipona beechei" Change accepted, term inserted. Andony 5 67 1778 68 1787 I think the scope of replacement goes far beyond what is described in this Passed to Chapter 4 Melathopoulos section and the author's ought to go beyond mechanical pollination. Take the example of a large crop like oilseed rape (which a potentially large influence on valuation at national and global scales). In North America we have seen the shift away from self-incompatable B. rapa to self-compatable B. napus in a span of 10 years beginning in the 1990s. B. rapa is barely grown at this point. Moreover, pollinator yield increases have become more complex in this crop with the widespread adoption of hybrid varieties beginning in the 2000s, which are heavily stocked with multiple species of managed pollinators. Yet dependency seems to remain static in all the valuations. Moreover, there is conflicting evidence that the newer hybrid varieties are less pollinator dependent (Marini et al. 2015 speculates this is because hybrids produce more flowers, allowing them to compensate for low pollinator visitations, but Hudewenz et al. 2013 hybrids were more sensitive) This example shows the complex processes through which "artificial" substitutes for pollination can be generated.

Charlotte vant 5 54 1786 54 1786 Heading 4.1 is too broad, please consider a change in the section he overal The suggestion has beenincorporated and the heading Klooster framework Part 4. change to "impacts of the decline of pollinators and pollination on nature's benefits to people and good quality of life see 5.4.1 Brondizio 5 1789 1790 why only "as considered through the science-based knowledge systems"; as The text and framing has been revised to incorporate the chapter is showing the socio-cultural values of pollinators are widely this perspective and remove the dichotomy between recognized, independent of knowledge systems; science and ILK, using instead the plural approach of the ILBES Conceptual Framework Canadian 5 54 1789 54 1790 It really is not correct to refer to other-than-Indigenous cultures as “science- The text and framing has been revised to incorporate Government based knowledge systems” for several reasons. Firstly, ILK includes science. this perspective and remove the dichotomy between Secondly, people in non-Indigenous cultures “base” their understandings of science and ILK, using instead the plural approach of experience in life (if I may use the old-fashioned term phenomenology) not the ILBES Conceptual Framework on “science” and Cartesian rationality but on perception, experience, relationships, and both informal and formal systems of learning (as all humans do). Sociocultural values are experiential, emotional, and perceptual – for all humans. It does a disservice to non-Indigenous cultures, as priviledged as they may be in many parts of the world, to characterize them as lacking in experiential and metaphysical values outside of visible institutional structures. Please reconsider your framing.

UK Government 5 54 1789 54 1790 Is this correct - not all socio-cultural values are recognised and taken into The text has been revised and this sentence is no account in science-based knowledge systems longer included Charlotte vant 5 54 1790 54 1790 Please add one or two sentences after '…are very high'. to make the bridge Klooster to the next sentence on the probable impact of the decline. This will improve the reading. Brondizio 5 1791 1833 the language in these bullet points imply different types of causalities We are going to consult with chapter 6 before revising without elaborating in any of the points; these points/causalities can be this section of the chapter contested in many ways; while the example of Easter Island is interesting, it does not speak to the many problems experienced today with the decline in pollinators of many crops; this section could be more effective it selecting fewer categories of impact and exploring the cascading effects of decline in pollinators;

Charlotte vant 5 54 1791 54 1791 Do you have references? ok Klooster Simone Athayde 5 54 1795 54 1795 I would take out loss of happiness - It sounds weird. I would just live loss in ok well-being, that captures the essence of what the authors want to say here.

Samson Gwali 5 54 1797 54 1797 Replace "artists" with "artist" ok Brondizio 5 1799 1800 this point is unclear ok Sandra Diaz 5 55 1799 55 1800 Statement unclear ok Sandra Diaz 5 55 1818 55 How is health affected? ok E. Miriam 5 56 1834 56 1843 Even though this parragraph mentions the loss of Traditional Knowledge The text has been revised to give greater recognition Aldasoro Maya and managemente practices, it is highly emphasized in the environmental to socio-economic and cultural change see 5.4.1.2 realm. The loss of pollinators is related certainly to it, BUT ALSO to socio- cultural changes. As far as we see only one side of the coinf, our porposals to face the situation will be partial en therefore not as efficient as they could be. On my opinion in the list of causes of decline, the socio-cultural change should be considered as well as all the environmental causes.

Juan Manuel Rosso 5 56 1834 58 1929 Offering a complementary view about the importance of traditional Reference to this initiative has been included knowledge to understand pollinator trends, there is a Sentimiel program from french Institut de Recherche pour le Développement (IRD) which aims "constructing a network of cooperative initiatives at the international level... and to ensure, through this network, the monitoring of effects of global changes, viewed through the prism of their impact on bees and on their production of honey and associated products" http://www.cefe.cnrs.fr/sentimiel. Three insights (Morocco, Cameroon, Brazil) of case studies are in Sciences au Sud - Le journal de l’IRD - n° 67 - novembre/décembre 2012 p.10. Sandra Diaz 5 56 1834 Section 4.1.2. Quite an important section, deserves to feature in the The sources are provided with the detailed sections Executive Summary or even in the SPM. Can the statement in lines 1835- on each of these in the paragraphs that follow 1838 be backed up by specific sources? Liliana Bravo 5 56 1835 59 1941 It might be useful to include also the role of powerful drivers such as land These drivers are discussed in chapter 3 ownership, agricultural policies, global/local markets and the growing demand for certain crops (e.g. biofuels) and mineral resources. Similarly, it might be of interest to take into account the case of social drivers of coffee pollination which act at global, regional and local scales (Bravo-Monroy et. al. 2015; full citation is found above). Jyothis 5 1846 1855 this is true in the case of Kodagu, In south India rubber cultivation Without a source we cannot include this Sathyapalan (monocrop) affected quality of honey and its medicinal properties, Samson Gwali 5 56 1855 56 1855 Replace "Burkino" with "Burkina" Corrected throughout Sebsebe Demissew 5 56 1855 1856 The country is not Burkino Faso, but Burkina Faso Corrected throughout Daniela Leite 5 56 1866 56 1866 I would change Paraná region for Paraná state. Corrected Samson Gwali 5 57 1888 57 1888 "M. beechei" should be italicised. Corrected Daniela Leite 5 57 1890 57 1892 I would make a comparison with what is written in the lines 1865 - 1868, Gretchen could you check this please because here it says that there is a great economic return with Apis mellifera and in the previous lines, with Guarani people, there has been a reduction in honey productivity with Apis mellifera. It would be appropriated to describe the situations that lead to different results.

Sebsebe Demissew 5 57 1891 1892 introduced honey bee (Apis mellifera ) ok Nicolas Cesard 5 58 1901 Indonesia ok Nicolas Cesard 5 58 1902 Suku means tribe ok Nicolas Cesard 5 58 1903 1904 I propose "For instance, Anak Dalam people in Sumatra are using honey as ok an exchange value (non-monetary) to buy other necessities, such as food that are not available in the forest (Pasya and Nur 2013, for other examples, see Chapter 4 7.1). "dan" means "and" in English. In that subchapter of chapter 4, other example are presented.

Nicolas Cesard 5 58 1907 (Césard and Heri 2015) ok Nicolas Cesard 5 58 1909 1910 Honey harvesters in Sentarum Lake in Indonesian Borneo report that... ok (Césard and Heri 2015). Nicolas Cesard 5 58 1911 1912 Indigenous groups and local communities have also lost access to... (Césard ok and Heri 2015, Samorai Lengoisa 2015). Samson Gwali 5 58 1912 58 1912 Mention the nationality of the Ogiek people, I suppose it is Kenya! ok Samson Gwali 5 58 1914 58 1914 Delete repeated word "their" ok Nicolas Cesard 5 58 1915 Samorai Lengoisa 2015 ok Daniela Leite 5 58 1921 58 1921 "A decision is due in 2015" stayed out of reference. ok Nicolas Cesard 5 58 1921 Samorai Lengoisa 2015 ok Samson Gwali 5 58 1921 58 1921 Check whether a decision to this court case has not yet been delivered ok

Jyothis 5 1927 there are beekeepers in India who migrate to different places with bee ok Sathyapalan depending up on flowering of plants (This I found in Uttar Pradesh State of India) , You may please refer Management of floral resources to increase honey production through migration K. Subba Rao and K. Lakshmi Rao

Charlotte vant 5 58 1933 58 1933 In sentence ' a number of ……please delete word communication and delete Correction made Klooster the websites from the text. These can be added in footnotes/reference list (never in text itself) Sandra Diaz 5 59 1943 Section 4.2. I have concerns about discussing managing and mitigation The section has been revised to present an integrated options based on science (this section) and on ILK (Section 4.3) in such a list of management and mitigation options starkly separate way. The differences between the two knowledge systems are important. However, many ecosystems and landscapes around the world are not purely under IL or non-IL control. And even if they are locally, some of the drivers that threaten them, and therefore the solutions, are cross-landscape, cross-sectoral and cross-societal. So the identification of completely separate sets of management, mitigation and adaptation options appears as a blind alley, or as a purely intellectual exercise. Furthermore, some of the options discussed under on knowledge system appear quite compatible with the other (e.g. knowledge co-production, collaborative governance, livelihood approaches). I encourage the authors to make an effort to bring together all the management, mitigation and adaptation options in a single, more integrated section, and discuss, in case, whether the option in question is compatible with one or both knowledge systems, and why. A summary table integrating the content of Tables 2 (page 59) and 3 (page 63), and indicating the knowledge-system compatibility of each option, could be really useful.

Sandra Diaz 5 59 1943 Specifically about the content of Table 2, the content of some of the cells, ok as written is not self-explanatory. Make sure that the reader can have a general idead of what the table is referring to without having to consult the main text. Brondizio 5 1947 1947 include 'pollinators' decline' after 'impact [?] corrected UK Government 5 59 1947 59 1952 It's helpful to identify the challenge as a 'socio-ecological issue' - which The sentence has been rephrased to acknowledge means that people are seen to be at the heart of the issue and engaging socio-economic and cultural aspects. different groups is critical. However, the process of moving from this to the three options for management and mitigation is not clear - I would have thought a far wider range of options may be relevant

Brondizio 5 1954 1956 table 2 is concise and informative; could add mention to landscape-level ok governance as part of "collaborative governance" Simone Athayde 5 60 1957 60 1957 Here, I noted that in heritage protection there is lack of mention to the ok convention of biological diversity and associated knowledge and benefits from biodiversity that protects indigenous peoples not only physical "heritage", but intangible heritage, such as specific knowledge of techniques, species and remedies that might have a market value and need to be protected, including legal mechanisms such as free prior informed consent, intellectual property rights and other human and indigenous rights. Samson Gwali 5 60 1958 60 1960 Sentence not clear! ok Charlotte vant 5 60 1958 60 1960 Please revise sentence (delete part after 1972 starting with Convention till Klooster end of sentence). ok UK Government 5 60 1959 60 1961 Words missing? ok Samson Gwali 5 60 1962 60 1962 Replace "are considered" with a more appropriate word, in the context of the sentence1 ok Samson Gwali 5 60 1963 60 1963 Replace repeated word "the" ok Daniela Leite 5 60 1964 60 1964 I think that could give another example than the Coffe Cultural Landscape of Colombia. ok Samson Gwali 5 60 1967 60 1967 Delete "of the" ok E. Miriam 5 61 1981 61 1996 Aldasoro Maya Reference missing for this case, of any type, academic or not. ok Sandra Diaz 5 60 1981 Case example 22 needs to be more specifically related to polllinators and pollination. ok Simone Athayde 5 61 2011 61 2012 Suggestion: replace levels by scales - loca, regional, national, etc. ok Sandra Diaz 5 61 2015 61 2018 Obscure sentence. Please spell out. ok Samson Gwali 5 61 2016 61 2016 Delete repeated word "the" ok UK Government 5 61 2018 Provide full reference for Aichi targets ok Samson Gwali 5 61 2022 61 2022 Replace "include" with "including" ok Sandra Diaz 5 62 2023 62 2032 Important point, but perhaps too general (or dealt with in too much detail here) to be direclty relevant to the specific them of the assesment. Also, not only individual emotions, feelings, etc., also the agendas, interests and priorities of different social groups intervene, see e.g. Keeley & Scoones 2003. ok Samson Gwali 5 62 2031 62 2032 Sentence not clear; especially the word "isses" which is used in the sentence! ok Daniela Leite 5 62 2034 62 2036 I think that this is a general and strong statement that need more references to sustain it. ok Samson Gwali 5 62 2034 62 2036 Clarify the sentence. Is it that the values and frames approaches "are NOT 'established' or are 'established'"? Replace "establish" with "established" ok UK Government 5 62 2035 Is this meant to be ‘are’ established, instead of are not? ok Charlotte vant 5 62 2042 62 2043 Please revise sentence starting from 'and through SHARE Isimply Have Klooster Areas Reserved for the Environment)' ok Samson Gwali 5 62 2042 62 2044 Replace "I" before "Simply" with a bracket "(" so that the acronym "SHARE" is described in the brackets as "(Simple Have Areas Reserved for the Environment)". It would, however, be prudent to briefly explain this SHARE initiative a little more! ok Charlotte vant 5 62 2046 62 2046 Please add figure 8 text under the figure. Klooster ok Catherine 5 63 2049 71 2319 The section on management and mitigation options is excellent and critical Robinson to this chapter ok 220520841018 5 63 2049 70 2275 Many researchers, practitioners, politicians and other people that could be ok interested in this document, could not be aware of ethical aspects of research with ILK and communities. Is important to remark these aspects. Some recommendations came from International Society of Ethnobiology Code of Ethics (http://www.ethnobiology.net/what-we-do/core- programs/ise-ethics-program/code-of-ethics/) and other principles could be extracted from http://www.cemi.org.co/#!documentos/c1wxe. Many countries have its own laws and regulamentations related. Section 4.3.3 mention Free Prior and Informed Consent and other right-based approaches, but not in relation with anthropological and ethnobiological research. Some researchers has worked around this subject; som examples: Menzies C. 2001. Reflections on research with, for, and among indigenous peoples. Canadian Journal of Native Education; 25, 1. Smith, Linda. 1999. Decolonizing Methodologies: Research and Indigenous Peoples. Zed Books Ltda. University of Otago Press (this author cites Merata Mita (1998): “We have a history of people putting Maori under a microscope in the same way a scientist looks an insect. The ones doing the looking are giving themselves the power to define”). Juan Manuel Rosso 5 63 2049 70 2275 Many researchers, practitioners, politicians and other people that could be ok interested in this document, could not be aware of ethical aspects of research with ILK and communities. Is important to remark these aspects. Some recommendations came from International Society of Ethnobiology Code of Ethics (http://www.ethnobiology.net/what-we-do/core- programs/ise-ethics-program/code-of-ethics/) and other principles could be extracted from http://www.cemi.org.co/#!documentos/c1wxe. Many countries have its own laws and regulamentations related. Section 4.3.3 mention Free Prior and Informed Consent and other right-based approaches, but not in relation with anthropological and ethnobiological research. Some researchers has worked around this subject; som examples: Menzies C. 2001. Reflections on research with, for, and among indigenous peoples. Canadian Journal of Native Education; 25, 1. Smith, Linda. 1999. Decolonizing Methodologies: Research and Indigenous Peoples. Zed Books Ltda. University of Otago Press (this author cites Merata Mita (1998): “We have a history of people putting Maori under a microscope in the same way a scientist looks an insect. The ones doing the looking are giving themselves the power to define”).

Charlotte vant 5 63 2054 63 2056 Klooster We=> or did you find this in literature? Please add reference. ok Samson Gwali 5 63 2054 63 2056 Sentence beginning with "We …" not clear; insert space between "identified" and "seven" and delete the word "identifiedsseven"; insert an appropriate word between "options" and "biocultural" Samson Gwali 5 64 2060 64 2060 Insert a comma after the word "endeavour" ok UK Government 5 64 2067 This is right but it contradicts the previous over-emphasis on ‘indigenous’ and ‘local communities’ in the chapter. ok Nicolas Cesard 5 65 2089 the invasive Africanized honey bees Sebsebe Demissew 5 65 2089 2089 invasive Apis mellifera (African bee). Need to be consistent with what one describes Apis mellifera , as African bee if it is so. ok Sandra Diaz 5 65 2091 65 2096 About "supporting change as an evolutionary process". It is important here ok not to mix two different processes/meanings of the work "evolution" in dynamics social-ecological systems. There is biological evolution by changing natural selection agents, which can indeed be very fast (the work of Hendry et al. cited in the text is about this process), and there is also the mutual adjustment of social and natural component of the systems, and the use of "adaptive" practices, that change according to the dynamics of the context. This more socially-centered process is also sometimes called evolution. Both processes often happen together, esecially under rapid socio-enviromental change, but they should not be confounded.

Daniela Leite 5 65 2094 65 2096 It would be interesting to make a parallel in European bee approach on lines 1865 - 1869 which was negative, contributing to the impoverishment of ecosystems and in this case where the ecosystem is already degraded and where was a good option. ok Charlotte vant 5 66 2108 66 2108 Klooster Refer to case in the text. ok Samson Gwali 5 66 2112 66 2112 Write these acronyms "ISEC" and "EMBRAPA" in full as well! ok Samson Gwali 5 66 2122 66 2122 Insert apprpriate word between "joint" and "contributed" ok Samson Gwali 5 66 2124 66 2124 Check the use of "learnings" in this sentence. Would "knowledge" be more appropriate here? ok Serena Heckler 5 66 2127 67 2145 HRBAs are not actually mutually exclusive with endogenous development, the biocultural approach, participatory approaches or the other approaches listed. In fact, The UN Statement of Common Understanding on Human Rights-based Approaches to Development Cooperation and Programming (the Common Understanding) (http://hrbaportal.org/the-human-rights- based-approach-to-development-cooperation-towards-a-common- understanding-among-un-agencies) is much more comprehensive than the treatment given here. It is about much more than FPIC, tenure and governance. It is conceived as a framework for covering many different approaches to development. Elements of good practices include: "People are recognised as key actors in their own development..." and "The development process is locally owned." While it is true that all too often these principles are paid lip service without meaningful changes to the decision-making processes that determine development, nevertheless, the frame can and should be applicable to all the approaches covered in this section. ok Jyothis 5 2146 2195 The 2006 Indian Forest Act recognized honey collection as a community Sathyapalan right of tribal communities. Now it is statutory in India, this Act was a historical change in Indian forest management ok Daniela Leite 5 67 2156 67 2160 “FPIC is poorly implemented by corporation and government agencies, ….” In my view it need more references to sustain this general statement and or give more details of the only reference given (Carino and Colchester, 2010). ok Nicolas Cesard 5 67 2171 Césard and Heri 2015, Samorai Lengoisa 2015. ok Charlotte vant 5 69 2211 69 2211 Klooster Please add figure 9 text under the figure. ok Sandra Diaz 5 65 2211 Figure 9. The diagramme needs further explanation to reach its potential. Please provide more context, and e.g. the meaning of the descriptors "heart", "mind"and "spirit" in such context. And explain more how is this relevant pollinators and pollination. ok UK Government 5 69 2211 Given the scope of the review, it is expected that more than one source is used to provide a synthesis of the key features of ‘good governance’. There is a large body of literature on the topic including criteria identified by a number of international organisations other than the World Bank and these should have been consulted (in the systematic review) to provide a more authoritative and reliable definition. ok Simon Potts 5 69 2226 69 2226 Are these bats all pollinators? ok Charlotte vant 5 70 2255 70 2255 Klooster please add source IUCN (year publication or website updated last time) ok Charlotte vant 5 71 2277 71 2277 Klooster Add case example nr to the text. ok E. Miriam 5 71 2277 71 2296 Aldasoro Maya Reference missing for this case, of any type, academic or of other type. ok Samson Gwali 5 71 2282 71 2282 Line 2282 is not clear! Please re-write to obtain a clear meaning … ok Samson Gwali 5 71 2317 71 2317 Insert 'a" between "as" and "strategy" ok Denise Matias 5 71 2320 71 2320 How about including wild honey bee hunting in this section? Check ntfp.org for examples of wild honey enterprises in South and Southeast Asia. ok Sandra Diaz 5 71 2321 Define livelihood approaches in a couple of words. ok Sebsebe Demissew 5 72 2330 2330 Ingram, 2011 #443. What is # ok 220520841018 5 72 2331 72 2339 The growth of meliponiculture is a key factor in a widespread interest in stingless bees. Nevertheless, this same interest is a potential threat for the wild populations of stingless bees and associated traditional knowledge: the rise of monetary and utilitarian views over others, have increased demands of products (mainly honey) and wild nests for commercial purposes, or even for institutional projects that claims reduce poverty or preserve biodiversity. Is important remark these contradictions (see Sciences au Sud - Le journal de l’IRD - n° 67 - novembre/décembre 2012 p.10. Rosso- Londoño 2013) ok Juan Manuel Rosso 5 72 2331 72 2339 The growth of meliponiculture is a key factor in a widespread interest in stingless bees. Nevertheless, this same interest is a potential threat for the wild populations of stingless bees and associated traditional knowledge: the rise of monetary and utilitarian views over others, have increased demands of products (mainly honey) and wild nests for commercial purposes, or even for institutional projects that claims reduce poverty or preserve biodiversity. Is important remark these contradictions (see Sciences au Sud - Le journal de l’IRD - n° 67 - novembre/décembre 2012 p.10. Rosso- Londoño 2013) ok Samson Gwali 5 72 2331 72 2331 Insert an appropriate word between "efforts" and "rescuing" so as to make the sentence more meaningful ok Samson Gwali 5 72 2337 72 2337 Replace "as" with "since" ok Samson Gwali 5 72 2340 72 2341 Re-write the first part of the sentence thus, "Among the "quilombola", a traditional population of descendants of runaway slaves or "quilombos", …. ok Samson Gwali 5 72 2343 72 2343 Who are the "ribeirinhos"? Add a few words about who they are! ok Charlotte vant 5 78 2345 78 2345 Please add when the review took place, the selection criteria e.g. if you corrected section 3.1 BH Klooster made a selection in publications over the last 10 years or all available literature? Nicolas Cesard 5 72 2347 Māori ok Charlotte vant 5 72 2351 72 2351 ok Klooster FAOs…. Supply chains.=> please modify sentence, not complete now. Charlotte vant 5 73 2359 73 2359 ok Klooster Add case example nr to the text. Samson Gwali 5 73 2360 73 2361 The information in the two lines is confusing! Line 2360 indicates Malawi, ok yet line 2361 indicates Bijagos Islands! The following text in the box is with reference to only Bijagos Islands! I therefore suggest that "Malawi" in line 2360 should be deleted! Simon Potts 5 81 2368 81 2640 ok Delete "We look forward…in IPBES" - this is not an appropriate statement to have in the assessment core text; could be interpretted as lobbying… Charlotte vant 5 73 2379 73 2379 ok Klooster Add case example nr to the text. Liliana Bravo 5 73 2384 73 2403 It might be of interest to include more examples of organic honey as ok potential alternative of livelihoods on different locations. Samson Gwali 5 73 2384 73 2384 Replace "have" with "has" ok German 5 74 2405 75 2445 The pollinator-context of this part of the Chapter (4.3.7) remains vague; it ok Government rather seems like a disquisition on 'food sovereignity' and agricultural practices. It might be helpful to point out the pollinator-context more clearly here. Liliana Bravo 5 74 2405 75 2445 It might be useful to include a brief definition of ecological intensification; ok un example is also illusrative on this matter. Samson Gwali 5 74 2415 74 2415 Insert "a" between "as" and "vision" ok Samson Gwali 5 74 2415 74 2418 Sentence beginning with "Food sovereignty focuses …." is long and not ok clear. Revise for clarity! Samson Gwali 5 74 2421 74 2421 Delete the word "places" ok Samson Gwali 5 74 2430 74 2432 Sentence not clear, especially at the point of "…. Agriculture strengthen the ok complementary between species, ….". Need to re-write and make the sentence clear! Samson Gwali 5 74 2433 74 2433 Replace "natura" with "natural" ok Samson Gwali 5 75 2440 75 2445 The sentence should ammended thus: replace "an" with "a" in line 2440; ok delete "results" from line 2441; Charlotte vant 5 75 2446 75 2446 ok Klooster Add case example nr to the text. Liliana Bravo 5 75 2450 75 2463 Very interesting case (no. 28). It would be useful to include more details ok about the name and location of indigenous peoples, crops/vegetation and pollinators involved, etc. Samson Gwali 5 75 2451 75 2451 Insert an appropriate word between "Network" and "draw", otherwise, ok revise sentence for clarity! Samson Gwali 5 75 2457 75 2457 Replace "raigin" with "raising" ok Samson Gwali 5 75 2462 75 2462 Correct the spelling for the word "strengthening" ok 220520841018 5 75 2466 77 2525 Chapter 4 in Rosso-Londoño (2013) explores the socio- environmental ok conflict around the hunting and commercialization of stingless bees and their honey made by the "meleiro" (honey hunter) in northeast Brazil analyzing his practices under an historical and sociocultural perspective. The responsibilities of stakeholders (like stingless beekeepers, research and government institutions, industry) others than meleiro, in diminishing local availability of stingless bees is discussed because market and new projects (for production, education, hobby and even research) increase the demand of wild nests for rear in hives. Is proposed understand meleiro and his knowledge as a potential allies in conservation, instead of a stereotyped view as destructor, common in the same institutions and bee keepers discourse. 220520841018 5 75 2466 77 2529 For knowledge co-production and education some qualitative approaches ok are useful for enhance interdisciplinarity and public engagement: narrative (i.e. Robertson et al. 2000. Ecosystem Health 6(2)), auto ethnography (Ellis C., Bochner A. 2000. Autoethnography, Personal Narratve, Refexivity: Researcher as Subject. In: Denzin N., Lincoln Y. Handbook of Qualitatve Research), "arts-informed research (Knowles J.G., Cole A.L. Handbook of the arts in qualitatve research: Perspectves, methodologies, examples, and issues. Sage Publicatons) (This may be useful for section 2.1?). Juan Manuel Rosso 5 75 2466 77 2529 For knowledge co-production and education some qualitative approaches ok are useful for enhance interdisciplinarity and public engagement: narrative (i.e. Robertson et al. 2000. Ecosystem Health 6(2)), auto ethnography (Ellis C., Bochner A. 2000. Autoethnography, Personal Narratve, Refexivity: Researcher as Subject. In: Denzin N., Lincoln Y. Handbook of Qualitatve Research), "arts-informed research (Knowles J.G., Cole A.L. Handbook of the arts in qualitatve research: Perspectves, methodologies, examples, and issues. Sage Publicatons) (This may be useful for section 2.1?). 220520841018 5 75 2466 77 2529 An example of two-voices storytelling exercise between indigenous- ok researcher: Rosso J.M., Estrada W. 2015. In the land of the river-mirrors: dialogues about “bee-cultural” diversity. Langscape 4(1):23-28.

Juan Manuel Rosso 5 75 2466 77 2525 Chapter 4 in Rosso-Londoño (2013) explores the socio- environmental ok conflict around the hunting and commercialization of stingless bees and their honey made by the "meleiro" (honey hunter) in northeast Brazil analyzing his practices under an historical and sociocultural perspective. The responsibilities of stakeholders (like stingless beekeepers, research and government institutions, industry) others than meleiro, in diminishing local availability of stingless bees is discussed because market and new projects (for production, education, hobby and even research) increase the demand of wild nests for rear in hives. Is proposed understand meleiro and his knowledge as a potential allies in conservation, instead of a stereotyped view as destructor, common in the same institutions and bee keepers discourse. Juan Manuel Rosso 5 75 2466 77 2529 An example of two-voices storytelling exercise between indigenous- ok researcher: Rosso J.M., Estrada W. 2015. In the land of the river-mirrors: dialogues about “bee-cultural” diversity. Langscape 4(1):23-28.

Sandra Diaz 5 75 2466 Section 4.3.8. Knowledge co-production. Surely, by definition, this does not ok only involve IL peoples. 220520841018 5 75 2470 75 2477 Please check if references are located in the right place: there are nine ok references located after the sentence "Although no mention is given directly and specifically to pollinators and pollinization, the importance of keeping healthy environments to keep food diversity and to respect nature is emphasised...". May be these refs are related with previous sentence, which talks about "Recovery of traditional knowledge in some communities of Andean countries in South America"?

Juan Manuel Rosso 5 75 2470 75 2477 Please check if references are located in the right place: there are nine ok references located after the sentence "Although no mention is given directly and specifically to pollinators and pollinization, the importance of keeping healthy environments to keep food diversity and to respect nature is emphasised...". May be these refs are related with previous sentence, which talks about "Recovery of traditional knowledge in some communities of Andean countries in South America"?

Samson Gwali 5 75 2474 75 2474 Replace "pollinization" with "pollination" ok Juan Manuel Rosso 5 75 2476 75 2477 Please check: Perichon 2013, Ferrufino 2013, Gomez 2012, Sánchez et al ok 2010, Pérez y Salas 2008, Meriggi et al 2008,Ferrufino y Aguilera 2006,Chicchón 2010, are not in references. Rosso 2013 is maybe Rosso- Londoño 2013 220520841018 5 75 2476 75 2477 Please check: Perichon 2013, Ferrufino 2013, Gomez 2012, Sánchez et al ok 2010, Pérez y Salas 2008, Meriggi et al 2008,Ferrufino y Aguilera 2006,Chicchón 2010, are not in references. Rosso 2013 is maybe Rosso- Londoño 2013 Sebsebe Demissew 5 76 2485 2485 in "Phyllanthus emblica and P. indofiheri Benett.), Bennett refers to the ok name of the author that described P. indofischeri , as I did not see the use of authors in the text, it is better to delete h name of the author and only write as Phyllanthus emblica and P. indofiheri Samson Gwali 5 76 2486 76 2489 Sentence beginning "Kayapo people working …" is not clear. It needs clarity! ok Replace the abbreviation "vs" with an appropriate word!

E. Miriam 5 76 2492 76 2492 The correct form of this reference is: Aldasoro 2003; Aldasoro and Argueta ok Aldasoro Maya 2013 Nicolas Cesard 5 76 2504 Césard and Heri 2015 ok Simone Athayde 5 76 2506 76 2506 Complement: in the first sentence, it would be valuable to add: knowledge ok co-production between researchers, managers and indigenous communities is vital for developing locally-relevant, transparent and inclusive Environmental Impact Assessments (EIAs), which often employ top-down and science-based-only approaches.

Charlotte vant 5 77 2527 77 2527 ok Klooster Please add Fig 10 text under the figure Charlotte vant 5 77 2530 77 2587 ok Klooster The method section should be presented earlier before the results. Please adjust your chapter structure which will make it more readable. UK Government 5 77 2530 The method section should have been included in the introduction rather ok than at this very late stage (the end of the chapter). UK Government 5 77 2532 It is stated that the review has CEE guidelines. In that case, it should have ok adopted a set of clear quality standards to assess the reliability and suitability of each source. If so, what are the standards adopted and what was the outcome of the assessment in terms of eliminating some sources from the systematic review? UK Government 5 78 2551 Where is table 1? A full description of the method used for systematic ok review should be provided (if necessary in an Annex). This should include the total number of sources (articles etc.) that were found, numbers reviewed under various categories, etc. Charlotte vant 5 78 2551 78 2551 ok Klooster Reference to table 1 incorrect=> please correct in table 4 on databases German 5 78 2568 78 2569 The direct interaction with and input from indigenous and local knowledge ok Government systems into the pollination assessment is much welcomed.

Nicolas Cesard 5 79 2573 (see for instance, Roué et al. 2015). ok Charlotte vant 5 80 2588 80 2629 The text here is a summary of the chapter not final conclusions and should ok Klooster be placed in the summary or deleted. Catherine 5 80 2588 82 2648 ok Robinson The conclusion provides a succinct overview of the chapter and its contribution to IPBES goal (page 81, line 2631). It would be useful if the authors returned to Figure 1 to help distil the important differences between IK knowledge, values and ontologies that are presented in this chapter. Two key messages can then be made clear - 1) IK contributes to the understanding and management of pollination 2) pollination processes and management are critical to sustainability of cultural-ecological systems. Finally but importantly it is interesting to note that there appears to be little evidence of knowledge co-produced between IK and science to understand and manage pollination. This is suprising and worrying given that 1) Indigenous peoples and communities are sharing responsibility for critical biosecurity issues that are affected by complex, changing and multi- scalar pollination processes 2) Enabling positive pollination processes across modern landscapes create serious knowledge and management uncertainties that could really benefit from IK and scientific knowledge partnerships Charlotte vant 5 80 2588 80 2646 Could you please give final conclusions. What is the question that you ok Klooster would like to answer here? Sandra Diaz 5 80 2588 Conclusions. This section has some important messages, but also a ok considerable amount of repetition with the Introduction. I suggest tightenning up and moving all those bits that describe what is in the chapter to the Introduction (with references to specific sections in brackets), where they will be more useful. UK Government 5 80 2588 Conclusion - in order to reflect the content of this section more accurately, ok this section should be called summary and conclusion. Samson Gwali 5 80 2588 82 2648 The conclusion is written more or less like a summary. It would be suitable ok for inclusion at the beginning of the Chapter as an Abstract or Summary!!!

Samson Gwali 5 81 2619 81 2624 Sentence that begins with "These options include …." is very long! The ok sentence gets fuzzy from line 2623 where the next part beginning with "and knowledge co-production …" makes the meaning of the sentence unclear! Promila Kapoor 5 81 2627 2629 a. The possibility of losing the pollinators-their heritage, diversity and linked ok cultures are very high if the values are not respected. One action which will bring all humans to convergent peaceful actions is- when confronted with real fear of nuclear disasters (Japan experience in 2014 due to volcanoes,earthquakes), or nuclear war. The repeated natural hazards in mountains ecosystems of Himalayas in past two years has brought down diversity of pollinator species ( needs assessment)

Promila Kapoor 5 81 2627 2629 b. The fears of isolation of human race due to impending fears of hazards ok ,the solutions offered by the scientific knowledge emerging from IPCC, IPBES, and other such platforms combine with traditional knowledge can be the mover to bring synchronicised actions across the geo-ecological regions to maintain peace and scio-cultural values which allow conservation, maintenance and protection of biodiversity of key species such as the pollinator, and their ecosystem ( from Draft of An Update on Biological Diversity and Genetic resources Promila Kapoor under preparation). Simone Athayde 5 81 2627 81 2627 I would use monetary and non-monetary values, or market-based and socio- ok culturally-based values. Charlotte vant 5 81 2633 81 2640 ok Klooster The constraints….=> text is on limitations of the work and should be part of a discussion section which is missing in the chapter and should be added. UK Government 5 81 2633 It is more appropriate for this statement to be included in the method ok section along with any other observations related to potential limitations of the study. UK Government 5 81 2638 81 2640 This is interesting - again, there are opportunities to draw parallels between ok ILK and developed societies since future assessments could also give greater prominence to a wider range of social and cultural values and lay knowledge in industrialised countries

Charlotte vant 5 81 2641 81 2646 You can end the conclusion section with this quote after the conclusions are ok Klooster given without need for reasoning why (delete text 2641-2646). Good luck with the new version! Canadian 5 81 2646 like the closing prayer ok Government Nicolas Cesard 5 82 2648 Samorai Lengoisa 2015: 18 ok Samson Gwali 5 82 2648 82 2648 Replace "will" with "while" ok Nicolas Cesard 5 86 2851 Césard N, and Heri V (2015). Indonesian forest communities: Indigenous ok and local knowledge of pollination and pollinators associated with food production. In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. Roué (eds.). Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1-5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp. 8-17. Online : http://www.unesco.org/new/fileadmin/MULTIMEDIA/HQ/SC/pdf/IPBES_Pol lination-Pollinators_Panama_Workshop.pdf Nicolas Cesard 5 88 2971 WRONG REFERENCE Doherty J, and Tumarae-Teka K (2015) Tūhoe ok Tuawhenua (Māori, New Zealand) knowledge of pollination and pollinators associated with food production. In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. Roué (eds.). Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1-5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp. 27-37. Online : http://www.unesco.org/new/fileadmin/MULTIMEDIA/HQ/SC/pdf/IPBES_Pol lination-Pollinators_Panama_Workshop.pdf 220520841018 5 90 3068 90 3070 The right author's name to this reference (single author): Gasca, Héctor ok Jaime. Corect citations in the whole text. Juan Manuel Rosso 5 90 3068 90 3070 The right author's name to this reference (single author): Gasca, Héctor ok Jaime. Corect citations in the whole text. Nicolas Cesard 5 94 3246 Journal de la Société des Américanistes ok Nicolas Cesard 5 95 3332 Samorai Lengoisa, J. 2015. Ogiek peoples of Kenya: Indigenous and local ok knowledge of pollination and pollinators associated with food production. In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. Roué (eds.). Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1- 5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp.18-26. Online : http://www.unesco.org/new/fileadmin/MULTIMEDIA/HQ/SC/pdf/IPBES_Pol lination-Pollinators_Panama_Workshop.pdf E. Miriam 5 96 3383 96 3383 ok Aldasoro Maya Mariacca is misspelled, the correct word is with only one "c": Mariaca. Moreover, I suggest to make teh reference to the particular paper on that volume that adress the management of Melipona in homegardens. Sotelo SLE, Guerrero GME y Álvarez ACD. 2012. El cultivo tradicional de la abeja Melipona beechei. Una constante del huerto familiar entre los mayas de Yucatán. En: Mariaca,R. (editor). El Huerto familiar ...... E. Miriam 5 97 3400 97 3400 ok Aldasoro Maya The correct form of this reference is: Aldasoro MEM 2003 220520841018 5 97 3403 97 3404 Right names in reference: Aldasoro EMA & Argueta AV. 2013. COLECCIONES ok ETNOENTOMOLÓGICAS COMUNITARIAS: UNA PROPUESTA CONCEPTUAL Y METODOLÓGICA. Etnobiología 11(2):1-15. Correct citations in whole text

E. Miriam 5 97 3403 97 3403 ok Aldasoro Maya The correct form of this reference is: Aldasoro MEM y Argueta VA E. Miriam 5 97 3403 97 3403 ok Aldasoro Maya Changue Collecciones etnoentomógicas por Colecciones etnoentomológicas Juan Manuel Rosso 5 97 3403 97 3404 Right names in reference: Aldasoro EMA & Argueta AV. 2013. COLECCIONES ok ETNOENTOMOLÓGICAS COMUNITARIAS: UNA PROPUESTA CONCEPTUAL Y METODOLÓGICA. Etnobiología 11(2):1-15. Correct citations in whole text

E. Miriam 5 97 3404 97 3404 ok Aldasoro Maya Etnobiología 11(2):1-5. Nicolas Cesard 5 99 3491 REFERENCE UPDATED Indigenous peoples’ and local communities’ valuation ok and values regarding pollinators: a Mayan perspective. In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. Roué (eds.). Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1-5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp.80-90. Online : http://www.unesco.org/new/fileadmin/MULTIMEDIA/HQ/SC/pdf/IPBES_Pol lination-Pollinators_Panama_Workshop.pdf Nicolas Cesard 5 3509 REFERENCE UPDATED In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. ok Roué (eds.). Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1-5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp.73- 75. Online : http://www.unesco.org/new/fileadmin/MULTIMEDIA/HQ/SC/pdf/IPBES_Pol lination-Pollinators_Panama_Workshop.pdf Nicolas Cesard 5 101 3627 Online : http://www.ecologyandsociety.org/vol17/iss4/art6/ ok Nicolas Cesard 5 102 3647 Si A (2013) Aspects of Honeybee Natural History according to the Solega. ok Ethnobiology Letters 4: 78-86. Nicolas Cesard 5 104 3758 The Kawaiweté people’s traditional knowledge about native bees: Xingu ok Programme, Brazil. In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. Roué (eds.). Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1-5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp.55- 72. Online : http://www.unesco.org/new/fileadmin/MULTIMEDIA/HQ/SC/pdf/IPBES_Pol lination-Pollinators_Panama_Workshop.pdf Stephan Lorenz 5 7, 17 54, 335 There is a difference in writing ‘that culture and nature mutually constitute ok through adaptation and co-evolution’ or that ‘links have developed over time through mutual adaptation and possibly co-evolution’ (line 355). However, adaptation and co-evolution are terms closely related to biology and therefore associated with physical and physiological functioning. The variety and opportunities of cultures and societies cannot be reduced to physical functions. Could we describe the examples given above (31ff.) with these terms? (In what way, for instance, could we understand a ‘rock-art of honeybees’ or an ‘ingredient in many fine musical instruments’ in terms of adaptation or co-evolution?) To add social terms like ‘co-production’ or just to speak of mutual influences could help.

Simone Athayde 5 17 figure 17 figure The figure shows on reference in its title and another within it. Also, the ok 5.8 5.8 quality could be enhanced, as it is difficult to distinguish the levels of correlation between linguistic diversity and biodiversity across the world.

Jyothis 5 General I felt this chapter is quite lengthy but very informative, lots of ok Sathyapalan observa methodological discussion taking readers attention out from the main tion theme particularly in the beginning part. Some effort required to improve the flow of the chapter . I enjoyed reading this. Geoff Hicks 5 50 line line This section is to generic to be useful, we suggest you greatly reduce it or ok 1624 1784 delete. Geoff Hicks 5 51 line line delete this case example as it has no relevant to pollination. This would be ok 1645 1673 more usefully picked up in the ILK work programme component.

Geoff Hicks 5 60 line line delete as this is not relevant to pollination per se ok 1958 1996 Geoff Hicks 5 66 line line delete as this is irrelevant to pollination per se, in fact the whole chapter ok 2128 2209 could benefit form rigorous editing to reduce it length to that concerning pollination and pollination services only Geoff Hicks 5 80 line this is an overview not a conclusion ok 2588 Geoff Hicks 5 24 line 596 What is the value ascribed to bees and how do indigenous peoples view ok their demise? Geoff Hicks 5 31 line 836 line Indigenous peoples view bee variation as disturbance related change, ok 840 therefore they understood it and are not fearful of it. But it is unclear what they have to say about bee decline and the drivers of decline.

Canadian 5 60 Table 2 last row Your characterization of values and frames in the table misrepresents the ok Government concept. A more careful read of Crompton’s report and a more thoughtful way of representing it are in order. The description on pages 61-2 are a little better but still really not hitting the mark.

GENERAL COMMENTS: -the chapter has an incredible set of material, examples, cases; it is very rich and has great potential; however, the conceptual framework presented at the beginning (section 1) is problematic and limiting, including several conceptual flaws (see extensive comments below); as discussed below, it would be more productive to develop a conceptual frame based on 'knowledge systems' rather than ontologies; I would suggest significant revision and reduction in this section (see comments below); these editing could be done without much impact at all on the remaining of the chapter; in fact, the term "ontology" disappear from the text after page 15; when this frame appears implicitly later in the text, it limits the scope of the discussion, for instance see comment about the separation of sections 4.2 and 4.3 below. Drastically reducing and reframing this first part of the chapter would allow to present a framework better suited to the actual narrative and examples used in the chapter; a reformulated first part of the chapter could include the section on methods presented at the end, which is concise and informative; Brondizio 5 ok USA government Genera All chapter headings should be placed at the beginning of each heading. The text has been revised to incorporate this l For example, Chapter 1, Background, 1.1 should be at the start of line 4. suggestion Comme For example, Chapter 2, Line 3 page 5 should have 2.2.1 at the start. nt USA government Genera As with many group drafted documents, this draft is in need of a good The text has been revised to address this issues of l editorial review, for both grammar and style consistencies. In particular, grammar and style, and for consistency in format. Comme our reviewers have noted many scientific names are lacking, the need for nt proper use of italics for scientific names and et al ., consistent serial commas and citation notations, and section / heading styles.

USA government Genera There are sections of the document which speak directly about trying to The text has been carefully checked to ensure only l convince policy makers of something, or to take some action. Our policy-relevant information is provided. Comme government scientists do not advocate, but strive to provide unbiased nt science without directed outcomes. Some more specific comments are made in Chapter 4. Nicolas Cesard 5 5 Figure 7. An honey plank (tikung) used in traditional beekeeping in the Your correction to the figure caption has been Danau Sentarum National Park, West Kalimantan province, Indonesia incorporated. (Source: Hadisoesilo and Kuntadi 2007, Photo: N. Césard) Sandra Diaz 5 11 Table 1. To make it clearer, I suggest organizing it as a double entry table, ok with interiority similarity/dissimilarity as columns, abd physicality similarity/disimilarity as rows 9or the other way around), and ahimism, naturalism, etc. as the four cells in the main body of the table.

Natasha Fijn 5 10 This section 1.1 on ontological viewpoints is important and great that the ok authors have included the background theory here. Sandra Diaz 5 21 Figure 4. Please expand legend to explain the meaning of te different ok colours in the arrows and in the text of the figure, and whether categories in the four different quadrants represent combinations of the different arrowheads, i.e. for example whether the categoires enumerated in top leaft corner correspond to mostly quantitative, self-oriented and individual preferences. Canadian 5 all the structure of the chapter is a little challenging to follow. It is possible ok Government that changing the titles of the main parts would help, for example by the time Part 2 got into summarizing examples of the importance of pollinators (mostly bees) around the world and through history, it was no longer evident that the focus excluded Indigenous and local communities especially since several examples really are in relation to local and traditional communities. But then part 3 is introduced as the summary for Indigenous peoples and local communities. Canadian 5 23 25 good examples provided. ok Government Liliana Bravo 5 30 54 · Farmer communities are present in the text but it might be beneficial to Possibly oneor two but whether to add or exclude one include more cases or two indigenous examples due to chapter length. BH and/or experiences of those social groups. Compared to indigenous peoples, there is less information about those communities in the chapter (e.g. peasants).

Liliana Bravo 5 30 54 There would be also interesting to include information about Afro- ok descendant communities in Latin America and other regions. For instance, Choco region in Colombia involves community management of natural resources by Afro-descendant populations. It likely may include interesting relationships with pollinators, traditions, and habitat management. Sandra Diaz 5 general A number of categories and examples in Part 3 (e.g. 3.5, 3.6, 3.7) could ok easily fall within the subsections of Part 2.2, as they are related with the heritage, aesthetic, spiritual, medicinal, nutritional, etc. values of (IL) people. The reasons why they are treated separately should be better explained. More generally, the sharp dichotomy between Part 2 and part 3 should be either better justified or else reconsidered.

Liliana Bravo 5 30 54 · It might be also useful to include a case example where pollinators are ok illustrated as a part of a region as a whole. A case by which the nature-cultre divide is dissolved in accordance with written or spoken descriptions of indigenous or local communities.

UK Government 5 General ok Examples often appear in ‘listing’ fashion under various sub-headings with no clear framing, typology, connection to the discussions in the introduction, or even clear sign posting at the start of each sub-section. Canadian 5 The nuance here is that while industrial agriculture includes specific ok Government practices that are scientifically proven to be detrimental to pollinators as you document, the contrast is not only between indigenous peoples/local communities and industrial agriculture (although there are clearly differences of great significance) but between industrial and ecological approaches to agriculture. It is still very important to characterize the different populations engaged in ecological agriculture in terms of their distinctive cultures, geographies, practices, dependence on pollination, vulnerability due to loss of pollinators, the diverse values they hold, and the diverse values they attach to pollination and pollinators.

Liliana Bravo 5 30 54 Part 3. Indigenous peoples and local communities and values of pollinators. ok

Liliana Bravo 5 30 54 · Sections 3.2, 3.3, 3.4 and 3.5: very interesting information about the ok cultural diversity of definitions and relationships associated to pollinators, management, rituals.

Canadian 5 all General comment: much of the explanatory text in this comment is drawn ok Government from a current review draft guidance document in development in Canada, written by this reviewer. Canadian 5 all A major point, based on first time it appears on page 22, is the scope of Government sociocultural values. There is a LARGE difference between sociocultural values and cultural ecosystem services. Sociocultural values as defined in the comment above apply to anything, and to any type of ecosystem service. People often conflate the terms “cultural ecosystem services” (CES) and “cultural values” because the character of CES is that their significance to people is informally often discussed using the same terms (and it does not help that the MA inserted the word “values” after each of the CES types). To illustrate, consider the following: “Aesthetic Experience” is a service, but it is also how some people state how or why a natural place is important to them, i.e., ‘I value it because of the aesthetic experience’ or more naturally, ‘I value it because it is beautiful’. But in fact, aesthetic experience is the service and beautiful functions as a synonym for it rather than explaining why or how it matters, and how much it matters. Once the clear distinction is made between the “thing” (the type of ES) and the “benefit” (how or why it matters to people), the analyst can decide on how to select data sources and what to look for in them, select relevant analytic methods and tools, and know what to focus on to reveal the relative significance or importance of that ES or its benefit. The disciplines of philosophy, psychology, and cultural anthropology provide the basis for understanding how and why CES – and all other ES – matter to people on an experiential level .

Canadian 5 all Should there also be indications of the relative certainty associated with the ok Government findings in this chapter too, as is the norm for assessments?

Marie Stenseke 5 Chapte The content in chapter 2 should be better harmonized with the IPBES ok r 2 report on Diverse Conceptualisation of values (3d) Sandra Diaz 5 general The Chapter is presented as addressing pollinator values to people other ok than those considered by traditionally monetary-oriented economic analysis, what is called in the chapter “socio-cultural values”. There is a clear, explicit emphasis on indigenous and local peoples (IL). But obviously the socio-cultural values of pollinators are important for very many people who cannot be described as IL My concern is where in the Pollination Assessment are these values considered. If Section 2.2 is the only place, then I worry that the “socio-cultural” values of sectors of society not defined as IL will be underrepresented in the Assessment, as compared to economic values (Chapter 4) and sociocultural vamot of this chapter).

Sandra Diaz 5 general The Chapter does not define in a clear way what is meant by “local” ok communities. Surely many local communities will place themselves more in the Cartesian-Naturalist-Western vision of the world, rather than in the ones more commonly associated to indigenous peoples. And many local peoples will be somewhere in between the worldviews/ontologies mentioned in Table 1. Please define, as early as possible in the chapter, indigenous and especially local communities within the context of this assessment. Canadian 5 People attribute or assign importance (values) to things on the basis of their ok Government experiences, beliefs, and understandings which are influenced by their society and their culture. The process of attributing or assigning values occurs both within the consciousness of an individual and collectively within groups of people through shared experience of the valued subject, as well as through group discussion or negotiation. When values are shared by people in social groupings, those values can be considered “social” rather than only individual. When these values become part of the group of symbols and meanings that inform the shared identity of a particular culture group, they are “cultural” values. The term “sociocultural values” is often used to refer to either/both of these. Socio-cultural values apply to all aspects of nature, nature’s benefits (including all types of ecosystem services), and good quality of life. Sociocultural values are experienced by all people. Canadian 5 You might also explain that sociocultural valuation involves describing how ok Government people collectively (in any culture or society) experience a subject (in this case, pollination and pollinators) as well as reporting on how the subject matters to them, and how much it matters to them. This evidence is typically in descriptive and narrative format and can be found especially in publications of qualitative social research including ethnographies and contemporary research among urban and rural populations as well as in ILK. It may also be found in grey literature produced by – or in association with – communities. The academic research draws on theory and methods of cultural and environmental anthropology, human ecology, and cultural geography, but explicitly not with theory and methods of economics. The premise underlying socio-cultural valuation approaches is that people attribute or assign importance (values) to things (in this case, the benefits from ecosystem services) on the basis of their experiences, beliefs, and understandings which are influenced by their society and their culture.

Canadian 5 Ariansen 1997 described experiential and affective values (how people feel ok Government [about nature and places]) as “constitutive” because they are constitutive of the person’s identity as well as the identity of the object of value. This can apply to culture groups as well, and the point illustrates the profound importance of such values and sheds light on why disputes can arise when those values are threatened.

Canadian 5 Socio-cultural valuation methods can be qualitative or quantitative; there ok Government are many methods for each. In addition, some field methods involved in rapid assessment (such as transect walks and participatory mapping) can be used to identify socio-cultural values of ES. Socio-cultural valuation methods can be designed to capture statistically representative results (as through probability sampling for open-ended surveys), or to focus on in- depth understanding among individuals and groups within a population (more typical). Canadian 5 Sorry, this is clearly a huge work and your efforts are appreciated – please ok Government don’t take this as a rejection of your work, only that it’s assumptions may not have been adequately examined before proceeding, and the option now is probably to insert text in several places that frames the assessment this way as an intentional choice of the working group and acknowledging what was not included but could have been, so that you avoid errors of omission. Canadian 5 33 do you need to refer to fuzzy logic or is that extraneous? If you need it, section 3.2 Government define it explicitly. Canadian 5 35 try to either avoid or define specialized terms that bureaucrats and ok Government government decision-makers are unlikely to understand (generally throughout the assessment) e.g. moities Thomas Brooks Genera Congratulations to everyone involved on this impressive piece of work; the ok l IPBES pollination assessment is shaping up to be a really valuable contribution. I am now comfortable that the assessment builds on and reflects in appropriate ways the various contributions from IUCN on the subject of pollination, notably a) the IUCN SSC Red List of Threatened Species http://www.iucnredlist.org and b) the IUCN CEM/SSC Worldwide Integrated Assessment of the Impact of Systemic Pesticides on Biodiversity and Ecosystems http://link.springer.com/journal/11356/22/1/page/1, and citation to the specific papers therein. It is very important that these citations are retained through to the final publication of the IPBES pollination assessment, reflecting IPBES's mandate to build from existing work. I also make a few suggestions and comments on other points I noticed as appropriate.

USA government Genera I was impressed with the scope & depth of the assessment. Although I ok l devoted most of my time to the Preface and the Summary for Policy Comme Makers, I did look at all chapters and I believe that each provides a very nt useful global scale synthesis. I think that the Assessment will be very useful in framing discussions going forward. Canadian 5 Because of their perceptual and cognitive origins, socio-cultural values tend [1] Scholte et al., 2015 provide a detailed discussion of Government to be expressed first in descriptive terms by the valuers. Typical methods socio-cultural values of ES and describe some of the for collecting this information include interviews, focus groups, open-ended main methods for their valuation. survey, and narrative analysis.[1] Quantification of these values through ranking (or through monetary units in economic valuation) is thus an abstracted interpretation of ‘how much the ES matters’.

Canadian 5 ES beneficiaries and other stakeholders can help to identify a broader range ok Government of choices or options to support decision-making such as:

UK Government 5 59 75 ok Sections 4.2 (scientific knowledge perspectives) and 4.3 (ILK perspectives) has a tendency to reproduce an outdated geo-political map of the conflict between 'western' science/agricultural practices and 'global south' ILK. Some of the most pressing sites in which such conflicting framings and practices can be seen in action are in the BRIC countries (notably China, Brazil, India) where the major biotech pushes come from agri-industries inside these countries rather than / as much as from North America/Europe. Nicolas Cesard 5 45 among the Xingu Kaiabi of Brazil... not the Kawaiweté? ok

sections 4.2 and 4.3 are quite good and have a wealth of material, BUT the separation between the two sections (science-based and ILK based) does not work; it is a schims reminent of the ontology framework presented at the very beginning. It does not work because the categories used to illustrate each "approach" overlap and are inter-dependent than separated; all of the categories in 4.3 for instance, as the text also suggest, evolved as part of interactions between science, practioners, and local social movements. It would be much more productive to combine these sections and instead framing as the potential of interactions and linkages between science-based and ILK in finding solutions to the decline in pollinators and to biodiversity management; some categories could be combined and each Brondiz sub-section/category could point to advances and conflicts involved in each io 5 1943 management and mitigation approach; ok Brondiz section would benefit from points and citation from Tengo et al 2014 on io 5 2466 connecting diverse knowledge systems published in Ambio ok Brondiz why is this list not including the approaches presented in section 4.2 and io 5 2619 only including 4.3? ok Sandra Diaz 5 general This chapter represents a major step forward with respect to previous international assessments in incorporating ILK. The compilation of information is impressive and will undoubtedly be a landmark in the international recognition of ILK in understanding, protecting and managing pollinators and their societal benefits. My comments below aim mostly at improving the clarity and usefulness of what is already a remarkable product. ok German 5 General The chapter is nicely structured, easily readable, and the quotations and Government case examples are welcome. Comme nt ok Canadian 5 part 3 It appears that the Jackson and Palmer approach has provided you with a Government (and successful conceptual framework to organize the data on Indigenous compar culture’s relationships with pollinators. The information included in each e to section appropriately describes the ethnoecological epistemology, the part 2) ‘social’ relationship between people and pollinators, and in most cases you have characterized the importance (values) of these relationships to the culture group. Nicely done. ok German 5 Table The lists of case examples, figures, tables and boxes are appreciated. Government of Conten ts ok Canadian 5 · Revealing trade-off options. Socio-cultural valuation can help to Government identify what things (objects, experiences) people consider acceptable for trading-off in decision contexts, and what the acceptable extent of change might be. This is particularly helpful because analysts and decision-makers may identify trade-off options based on limited understanding, compared with stakeholder and ES beneficiary perspectives of the range of choices available. By including socio-cultural valuation, especially through participatory approaches, other options can be revealed that can lead to more acceptable and sustainable outcomes overall. ok Canadian 5 · Revealing how, why, and how much. Socio-cultural valuation can be Government a useful component of ES assessment in nearly all cases because it provides insight into why and how parts of the ecosystem and ES benefits matter to people as well as how much they matter. Descriptive and visual (e.g. participant mapping) approaches provide a richness of explanatory power that is not possible with quantitative measures. This richness can be critical in resolving complex and intense disputes, and can be constructive in land use and conservation planning to avoid disputes in the first place. ok Marie Stenseke 5 46 46 1445 The issue of protection agains menstruating women as presented here, signals a problemtic unconsiousness of the gender issue at hand, and how this practice is related to oppression of females. It should preferably be omitted, or at least commented in similar ways as the use of bumble bees as mascots, line 620-623. ok Nicolas Cesard 5 47 tribe can be pejorative, better use people or group ... "... several groups and communities in Indonesia, such as the Anak Dalam (REF), the Sakai (REF), the Petalangan (ref) of Sumatra and the Punan of Borneo (Widagdo 2011, Mamung and Abot 2000), and many others." ok Liliana Bravo 5 50 54 Section 3.8 The valuing of governance... In case that it might be possible, additional workshops with members of indigenous and local communities would be suggested in order to explore and contrast different relationships (including values) between people and their environments/landscapes/ecosystems/habitats. It can be fruitful that they draw a picture or map of their respective territories with human and non-human beings (including plant-pollinator interactions). Those illustrations coud be an interesting input for this section. ok Liliana Bravo 5 63 71 About section 4.3 Management and mitigation options.... This sections presents options of management (4.3.1 to 4.3.5) by recognising both the relevant role and perspective of ILK systems. That is a great advance made in the acknowledgement of cultural diversity with beneficial effects on landscape management. A fact that would be important to stress is the potential incompatibilties between local populations, governments' legislation that can favour foreign investment (to the detriment of ILK, biodiversity and ecosystem services), conservationists, multinational corporations with business interests, and NGOs. That complex actor network frequently occurs in regions of several developing countries. It has a signifficant effect on access to natural resources by local communities and therefore on the achievement of the sustainable use of biodiversity and ecosystems. ok Canadian 5 · Revealing intangible values and connections across ES. Socio-cultural Government valuation is especially relevant in addressing Cultural Ecosystem Service (CES) values because they tend to be intangible and experience-based. And while monetary valuation is an obvious choice for Provisioning Ecosystem Services, especially those that have market values already associated with them, socio-cultural valuation can reveal additional aspects of importance that are not captured in markets. Most notably this occurs when a provisioning service is strongly linked to one or more of the CES or to other experiential and moral values that may be sufficiently important to make the subject ES a matter of serious dispute. ok Canadian 5 These three benefits of socio-cultural valuation can be useful in a wide Government range of policy and project analysis contexts. ok Canadian 5 It helps a lot if you remember that sociocultural values are simply the [2] These needs are well established in science; for Government importance that people attach to things, as informed by their sociocultural brief explanation of link to ecosystem services see context. CES in contrast, are about the particular SERVICES that ecosystems Summers et al., 2012. provide to ALL humans - Most cultural services generate experiences that people feel internally - emotionally or intellectually - that are both individual and shared, and that support core human needs for connection and growth.[2] Canadian 5 See on this issue: Samantha S.K. Scholte, Astrid J.A. van Teeffelen, and Peter ok Government H. Verburg. 2015. Integrating socio-cultural perspectives into ecosystem service valuation: A review of concepts and methods. Ecological Economics 114: 67-78. Canadian 5 This affects a major portion of chapter 5. ok Government Canadian 5 · SHORT simple definition of culture (Geertz 1973 is simple enough to ok Government capture the basics and still be relevant today – not really necessary to delve into the poststructural theory for this audience: “a transmitted pattern of meanings embodied in symbols, a system of inherited conceptions expressed in symbolic form by means of which people communicate, perpetuate, and develop their knowledge about and attitudes towards life”); Canadian 5 · Different cultures or societies can have very different understandings ok Government of the nature of existence, or being (ontology), the nature of knowledge (epistemology), and the nature, origins and evolution of the universe (cosmology); Canadian 5 · These understandings inform people’s expectations about how to live ok Government and what things mean, the values that people hold and the significance they assign to things; Canadian 5 · All humans are part of at least one culture and are often influenced by ok Government other cultures, and from the perspective of some worldviews all living beings share culture; Canadian 5 · In all societies cultural knowledge is passed from one generation to ok Government the next and evolves through experience and learning. Nicolas Cesard 5 83 Athayde S (2015): TITLE In: Lyver, P., E. Perez, M. Carneiro da Cunha and M. ok Roué (eds.). Indigenous and Local Knowledge about Pollination and Pollinators associated with Food Production: Outcomes from a Global Dialogue Workshop (Panama, 1-5 December 2014). UNESCO: Paris, pp. 46- 54. Nicolas Cesard 5 84 Battesti... online : https://halshs.archives-ouvertes.fr/halshs-00004609v2 ok Nicolas Cesard 5 96 ... L'Homme et l'Abeille, Paris, Berger-Levrault ok Marie Stenseke 5 5.1 Chapter 5 obviously focuses on indigenous people and small scale farmers ok and in developing countries - it is shown in the overall reasoning, in the number 5.6 of pages for given for ILK issues and by the examples. While there are good General reasons for having this focus initially in the IPBES work, and I fully support it, this choice of approach should be more clearly presented and motivated, in the beginning and the end of the chapter. As for now, this text is to a very large extent on practices which are directly related to pollinators and pollination, while literature on indirect human relations to pollinations and aspects such as consumption, environmental awareness, outdoor recreation and western and urban people's perception and understanding of pollination and pollinators is little addressed. Moreover, there is a rich literature on humans relations to nature in developed countries, including research on gardening. There is also rich literarure on farmers having more than 2 ha of land, and their attitudes, values, practices etc. related to environmental concern and biodiversity. I believe it is too late in the process of this deliverable to broaden the scoupe in a consistent and scientifically qualified way. Mentioning the limitations and motivations for it, will pave the way for widening the approach in future assessments. Canadian 5 all General comment regarding the populations considered for the ok Government assessment: The organic movement in developed countries has become widespread internationally and has undergone rapid increase in scale. Smallholder and moderate sized organic, biodynamic, permaculture and ecological farms operate from an ecosystem perspective, are holistic, and include versions of many of the practices, forms of knowledge, ethics and beliefs that are characteristic of ILK in the context of agroecological practices. This is relevant in the context of the Pollinators assessment. The attention to indigenous peoples and local communities in the document is very good, but in several cases the specific points raised could also be characterized with examples from the [comparatively smallholder] organic (and related) ‘culture’. In many cases this activity occurs for local or regional consumption making much of it invisible to industry-scale analyses, but it is extensive. There may be some research on it – worth checking. Maybe IFOAM can point you to some publications. http://www.ifoam.bio/ To the extent that you can support it with research, it would make the report more complete it you can include the contributions of this movement to pollinator habitat conservation and sustainability.

Canadian 5 · Cultural knowledge may take the form of e.g., ILK, or Eastern and ok Government Western philosophies Marie Stenseke 5 Executi Examples might not be necessary in the executive summary ok ve summa ry Marie Stenseke 5 General Numerous sections in the chapter concerns the broader issue of ok sociocultural values of biodiversity, and not just the more narrow issue of values related to pollination. There is a point in relating to a wider context, I suggest it is reconsidered if it has to be done to such a large extent as is now the case. Sandra Diaz 5 general The Chapter makes a distinction that is perhaps too sharp between ok “Western” and IL worldviews. Surely they coexist and mix in the way in which many people see and operate within their context. Moreover, finding solutions for the biodiversity crisis requires the best of all knowledge systems and this requires all of them making an effort to reach out to other systems, rather than working on separate/parallel channels. Some portions of the chapter are excellent in trying to find connections, some others show a quick dismissal of attempts by Western science to bridge gaps, without proper justification. Similarly, in (rightly) highlighting the importance of ILK, the chapter is un-critical about its possible misadaption, obsolesce, gaps, erosion, and other limitations. The same way other chapters critically point to many limitations, misconceptions, incompleteness, etc. of scientific knowledge, as well as to its strengths, this chapter should try to present some of the most critical limitations in present ILK.

Sandra Diaz 5 general The title is a bit confusing. Considering the general theme of the ok assessment, I suggest something more centered on pollinators, such as “Pollinators, their socio-cultural benefits and values, and their importance for biocultural diversity” or “The socio-cultural benefits and values of pollinators”, etc. Sandra Diaz 5 general In this chapter there is a wealth of excellent material links between ILK ok biodiversity, ecosystems, benefits to people and ILK. However, a good proportion of it is very general, not just related to pollinators. This makes the chapter rather long and also at times slightly unfocused. Perhaps all this general material should be compiled in a special document about the ILK contribution to biodiversity and nature’s benefits to people in general, and leave here only those aspects which are relevant to the main thematic focus of this assessment. Below I point out to specific portions of the chapter that are examples of this. Sandra Diaz 5 general Issue of terminology: the Chapter often refers to the IPBES Conceptual ok Framework, whosever, in parts is inconsistent with it. If this is because there is a fundamental diagreement, it shold be pointed out, but when this is not the case, authors are advised to use the terms as in the CF and its glossary, for the sake of consistency among different products of IPBES. A case in point is the use, in the use of "pollination services", o "ecosystem services". This is standard terminology in maisntream ecology and economy. However, during the construction of the CF, it was expressed that the word "services" does not apprpriately convey the full meaning of the values of pollinators to people, and could be even offensive in some context. Within some traditions, the word "nature's gifts" was considered more appropriate. The CF therefore considereddifferent terminologies and categories, such as "ecosystem services" and "nature's gifts", that refer to the more inclusive category "nature's benefits to people". In view of the emphasis of this chapter on ILK, the authors should consider using this more incluusive category, unless of course they really meant "ecosystem services" in the strict sense of ecology/economy (but it looks from the text that this is often not the case).

Sandra Diaz 5 general In thic chapter values and benefits are sometimes conflated. The IPBES CF ok (Díaz et al. section on Sandra Diaz 5 general In parts this chapter appears to conflate the values and benefit. The IPBES ok CF distinguishes them. For example in the legend of Fig. 1 of Díaz et al. 2015: The anthropocentric values of nature are embedded in the nature, nature’s benefits to people and good quality of life boxes, and in the arrows connecting them. The intrinsic values of nature (blue oval) are by definition independent from human experience and thus do not participate in these arrows. The broad categories of anthropocentric values (instrumental including use and non-use, as well as relational) are described in the section “Values and valuation of nature and its benefit to people” of the same article. The document 3D (Diverse Valuations) of IPBES provides further refinement of these categories. The authors are advised to try to establish a clearer distinction between benefits and values. To the extent in which is possible and admissible, they should also try to have a consistent terminology with the CF and the document 3D, for the sake of consistency and clarity across IPBES products. UK Government 5 General The chapter is somewhat North American in outlook of what work is ok reviewed and would benefit from stronger engagement with parallel literatures (e.g. STS, particularly that coming out of Europe) to complicate the ILK / scientific knowledge dichotomy that goes largely unquestioned here. UK Government 5 General In the discussions about values, a great deal of emphasis has been put on ok ‘indigenous people’ and ‘local communities’. It is therefore important that clear definitions of these two terms and the distinction between them are provided. At present, they seem to be used in the chapter interchangeably, giving the impression that all ‘local’ people are ‘indigenous’ people and vice versa. They are then combined in another frequently used but insufficiently defined notion of ‘indigenous local knowledge’ (ILK). UK Government 5 General ok A weakness in the chapter is that it underplays significance of intellectual property rights (and farmers/indigenous people's rights as established by FAO / Commission of Plant Genetic Resources) to ILK and biocultural diversity conservation (for example Posey and Dutfield, 1996; Haan, 1998; Strathern, 1999; Hayden, 2008. UK Government 5 General The conceptual framework makes a distinction between ‘valuation ok methods’ and ‘values’ which are discussed in 2.1 and 2.2 respectively. However, these two aspects are not treated equally in the chapter. While Part 3 provides detailed discussion of different values, there is not much discussion about different valuation methods. UK Government 5 General Figure 3 line 435 mentions 3 types of valuation methods (socio-economic, ok biophysical and monetary) and 2 types of values (intrinsic and anthropocentric which itself is divided into instrumental and relational). However, these typologies are not followed through in an explicit and clear way in the chapter. UK Government 5 General The chapter does not discuss the social and cultural values of ‘non- ok indigenous’ people with regard to pollinators. An implicit assumption is made that ‘indigenous’ groups have higher socio-cultural appreciation (value) of pollinators than non-indigenous groups. If this is the case, it has to be made explicit and based on evidence. UK Government 5 General ok There is an over-emphasis on ‘rural’ based on an implicit assumption that urban dwellers do not value or engage with pollinators (such as bees) and pollinators do not affect their values and well beings.

UK Government 5 General Overall, the implicit division between ‘indigenous’ and ‘non-indigenous’ is ok problematic when it used outside a specific context and not helpful for the understanding of socio-cultural values of different social and cultural groups across the globe. It implies that there is a positive association between valuing pollinators and being indigenous. This clearly is not the case and should be made clear. Marie Stenseke 5 General Chapter 5 is overall too polemic as regards "westerners" vs. ILK, especially ok in part 1. I would like to see this more nuanced. One major reason is that concepts such as local communities and local knowledge are fuzzy. We are all in a sense local, and by everyday practice people beyond what is usually considered as ILK holders has to various degrees holistic perspectives on how they interact with nature and non-human features. See literature on bodily experience, more-than-human approaches, social science research evolving around the landscape concept, including research related to the European Landscape Convention. There e.g. a rich literature on nature resource research in developed countries showing that the concept "wilderness" also is problematic in the interface nature conservation - in- placed "western" people David Aston 5 General ok

Comme There is no reference to the role of bees and honeybee products in Europe nt and there are no European authors, only omne review editor Canadian 5 Titles If there is an opportunity to revise the chapter titles, it might be helpful to ok Government readers if the titles for chapters 4 and 5 were structured/worded very similarly, indicating that one is economic valuation and one is sociocultural valuation. Canadian 5 A comparable level of detail in Part 2 would be nice to see, and while it’s ok Government historical content is interesting, more contemporary evidence would be of greater interest to governments for decision-making. Canadian 5 To help readers (particularly governments) understand it will be very useful ok Government to begin with an explanation of what ‘sociocultural values’ are and what ‘sociocultural valuation’ consists of. Many more people are familiar with economic valuation than sociocultural valuation.

Canadian 5 This definition of sociocultural values may be helpful since it is not ok Government commonly understood: Liliana Bravo 5 30 54 · It might be also useful to include more info about local knowledge and ok practices that influence the selection and maintenance of animal-pollinated crop varieties and the conservation of endangered and rare pollinator/plant species.

Canadian 5 Urban beekeeping is also becoming a large movement in developed ok Government countries and possibly worth noting since early reports suggested that honeybee hives were faring better in cities than in rural areas, raising questions about the effects of different contexts. Canadian 5 Referencing Descartes is a common way of framing “Western” views, ok Government however in the contemporary context it is an oversimplification when discussing “Western” cultures because many people who are not Indigenous nor part of traditional local communities do not subscribe to the Cartesian worldview (reductionism, mechanistic universe, and a [economic] market-based society, as demonstrated by large-scale social and environmental movements). However, the major institutions of Western societies were built on the Cartesian worldview, so there is no question that it is a powerful influence. Canadian 5 Descola is a good source but many in the IPBES’ primary audience ok Government (governments, bureaucrats, decision-makers) will find this portion of the text more intellectually dense than they are accustomed to (even senior undergraduate anthropology students struggle with it). In addition the risk of using this categorization is that it essentialises cultural complexity. Might consdier removing this section and replacing with a simpler explanation of these concepts and their relevance to IPBES and this assessment. This simpler explanation might include the following items: Canadian 5 Some authors refer to these as “Information Services” because they inform ok Government human experience. Cultural services are tightly bound to human values and behavior, as well as to human institutions and patterns of social, economic, and political organization. Thus perceptions of cultural services are more likely to differ among individuals and communities than, say, perceptions of the importance of food production. The types of CES can be identified as: cultural identity and heritage; spirituality and religion; knowledge systems and education; cognitive development, psychological and physical health and well-being; aesthetic experience; inspiration for human creative thought and work; recreation and ecotourism; and, sense of place. Further articulating some of these as you have for heritage can be very helpful to readers, being careful that the descriptions can apply to all human cultures/societies, not only Indigenous [and local] communities.

Canadian 5 Lines 161-162 seem to say that only indigenous peoples and local ok Government communities have “cultures”, which is untrue. All humans are part of a culture. Further, in the current era, many people are influenced profoundly by more than one culture as a result of cross-cultural marriage, mobility, education, media, and more. Canadian 5 Placed as it is here it suggests that any valuation method is negative, and ok Government that claim is not supported in the document, nor is it supported in the literature. Sociocultural valuation for example can be completely qualitative and can be expressed in narrative format in the voice of the valuing person. It does not have to be quantified. This is a major concern with the theoretical assumptions of this chapter.

Canadian 5 ES and their benefits can be ranked and analyzed quantitatively in terms of ok Government their importance or use, and qualitative information can be even more effective at capturing and communicating a complex set of values within and across populations. Canadian 5 1. it should be noted that “choice experiments” are an economic ok Government method for identifying non-market values in monetary terms, so definitely not a sociocultural valuation technique – should be removed from this chapter entirely. Canadian 5 2. surveys and interviews can provide quantitative OR qualitative ok Government information particularly about individuals. Canadian 5 3. surveys and interviews can be two VERY different kinds of things, for ok Government example, an ethnographic interview is often unstructured, open-ended and exploratory, resulting in narratives expressing meanings, whereas surveys can be completely reductionistic with all options framed in advance by the researcher without the voice of the respondent being represented. Alternatively, survey design can be qualitative, and structured interviews can be quantitative. They should probably be listed separately on both sides of the qual/quant divide. The graphic needs to show this, since by its design so far it implies comprehensiveness.

Canadian 5 4. preferences is not really the right term here, since values are about ok Government more than preferences, they are about significance or importance. Preference is also closely tied in with economic non-market valuation techniques which is not what this chapter is supposed to address, so really encourage you to change this to “Values”.

Canadian 5 5. Citizen science has been done without ‘apps’ for many years, but ok Government more importantly, citizen science is about biophysical data collection, not about sociocultural values. Suggest that it is removed.

Canadian 5 6. Is multicriteria analysis a valuation method or a decision support ok Government approach? Not sure it belongs here. Canadian 5 Having said this, the general comment above about the distinction between ok Government sociocultural values and cultural ecosystem services is very important to address, and means that the discussion in this chapter should extend beyond CES to potentially all ES. Canadian 5 so the impacts of declines in pollinators from the sociocultural values ok Government perspective in relation to Part 2 cultures should also recognize the deeper experiential meanings associated with pollinators and pollination. The second bullet lines 1797 seems pretty trivial. You could say a lot more about this, comparable to what you have for loss in relation to Section 3 cultures starting line 1802.

Canadian 5 The balance of comments from this reviewer will assume that all comments ok Government above continue to apply throughout, and that the scope of the assessment was a conscious choice to focus only on a selection of CES and omit all other ES. Canadian 5 general – how do these examples of the ways that different cultures ok Government through time have recognized the importance of pollinators through art, literature, etc., influence what people did then, and now? In what ways are these outward symbols indicative of meaning? In addition to being adopted in various symbols or cultural forms, how is the importance of pollinators enacted in contemporary activities and ways of knowing? How important are these symbols and the pollinators they are based upon, and in what ways? You provide a dizzying string of one-sentence examples of where pollinators (mostly bees) appear in cultural forms around the world, which is fascinating, but have not said how important (valuable) that is to people, in what ways, and what the evidence of that importance is, with the exception of lines 721-22 and 733-35.

Canadian 5 there is a lot of reference to bees, which is topical to be sure, but what of ok Government other pollinators? Simone Athayde 5 59 Kawaiete is mispelled - correct spelling is Kawaiwete - and I suggest to also ok include between brackets (also known as Kaiabi), since this group recently changed their self-designation to Kawaiwete, and few people know this new designation.

OK Comment form for 2nd Review Phase of the Deliverable 3a) Thematic assessment of pollinators, pollination and food production

Chapter 6:

Review Editor: Kaja Peterson Institute: Stockholm Environment Institute Tallinn Centre, Estonia Address: Lai str 34, Tallinn, 10133, Estonia Email address: [email protected]

Review Editor: Kamaljit Bawa Institute: University of Massachusetts Address: 100 Morrissey Blvd., Boston, MA 02125-3393, USA Email address: [email protected]

Review Editor: Nigel Raine Institute: University of Guelph Address: 50 Stone Road East, Guelph, Ontario, N1G 2W1 Canada Email address: [email protected]

Reviewers for Chapter 6 Adolfo Pérez Piñeiro Emily Marquez Rebecca Chaplin-Kramer Ahmad Mahdavi German Government Richard Corlett Andony Melathopoulos Jeff Ollerton Sandhya Chandrasekharan Andreas Kruess Jens Dauber Scott Black Andrew Lewis Kimiko Okabe Scott Groom Bienvenue ZAFINDRASILIVONONA Les Davies Serena Heckler Charlotte Karibuhoye Madeleine Chagnon Thomas Brooks Christopher Golden Mahmood-ur-Rahman Ansari Thomas Steeger Claire Kremen Maria Jose Suso UK Government Cynthia Scott-Dupree Marie-Pierre Chauzat USA government David Aston Marina Rosales Benites de Franco Valentin Opfermann David Cooper Nils Simon Denise Matias Noa Simon Delso Diane Castle Peter Campbell

*This report has been reviewed by scientists/researchers acting in their individual capacity as scientists and do not reflect the views of their company or institution. Reviewer ID Chapter From From To To Comment Author Annotations Page Line Page Line (start) (start) (end) (end) David Cooper 6 9 1 14 194 Executive summary is good. But perhaps too The Executive Summary has been re-drafted with many points-- and some redundancy among fewer paragraphs. them. David Cooper 6 9 3 9 10 Does this message apply just to agricultural It applies to all ecosystems. We do not feel it is systems or all ecosystems? necessary to clarify this in the redrafted text. Peter Campbell 6 9 3 9 10 Whislt pollinator declines certainly present a The text is carefully worded to match Table 6.2.3, theoretical risk to crop security (yields & based on the combined judgement of all authors quality etc) as described in this paragraph, we and description of evidence contained in the report. need to be very clear in differentiating what is We clarify more carefully what is known about the "possible" versus what is or has actually link with loss of pollinator diversity and crop yield happened ie real field evidence of falling deficits or instability. fields and quality due to pollination deficits. We certainly shouldnt be scaring Policy Makers that there is an immediate threat to food security of future crops (as is inferred in this paragrpah) unles we have real field evidence of this. A recently published paper in Nature Communications (Kleijn et al, 2015: "Delivery of crop pollination services is an insufficient argument for wild pollinator conservation") stated that "Almost 80% of crop pollination by wild bees is provided by just 2% of the most common species", suggesting that the food security of crops is not currently threatened by a lack of pollination services, contrary to the statement being made here. It would be far more honest to recommend to policy makers to protect pollinators for conserving biodiversity reasons than prematurely or even wrongly stating the reason is to protect food / crop security. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 9 5 9 5 and direct adverse effects on speciation power This is a very long term risk that was not identified and mechanisms of speciation (eg. prevention/ by the author team as a direct or indirect risk from disturbances for geographical separation) of pollinator decline as relevant for this report. This is pollinator species a very long term risk that was not identified by the author team as a direct or indirect risk from pollinator decline as relevant for this report. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 9 10 9 10 Also by different disturbances by all aspects of Some of these suggestions are covered by 'land industrialism like expanding megacities, roads, cover change', Others (dust and noise) are not etc. noise and dust pollution known to be prominent drivers of pollinator decline and it would not be appropriate to mention them here. Some of these suggestions are covered by 'land cover change', Others (dust and noise) are not known to be prominent drivers of pollinator decline and it would not be appropriate to mention them here. Peter Campbell 6 9 12 9 13 In light of the comment above lets be specific The report has to be policy relevant, and the IPBES and replace "reduce risks" with "benefit plenary has specifically framed this chapter in the pollinators". context of risks and opportunity. We have to describe the risks and assess responses to them. Avoiding the issue, as suggested here, would not be appropriate. The report has to be policy relevant, and the IPBES plenary has specifically framed this chapter in the context of risks and opportunity. We have to describe the risks and assess responses to them. Avoiding the issue, as suggested here, would not be appropriate. Denise Matias 6 9 13 9 13 How about including planting nesting trees of This selected set of actions are those for which wild bees and not just growing additional there is good evidence of benefits to pollinators flowers on farmland? (well established). Nesting trees are a valid suggestion, but not supported by the same weight of evidence, so not highlighted here. Protection of trees for nesting honey and stingless bees is added in section 6.4.3.1.1This selected set of actions are those for which there is good evidence of benefits to pollinators (well established). Nesting trees are a valid suggestion, discussed in section ???????, but not supported by the same weight of evidence, so not highlighted here. Noa Simon 6 9 14 9 14 to be added “Integrated Pest Management There is a whole paragraph in the Exec Summary Delso (IPM) techniques, organic production and low about organic farming. Discuss why organic input systems” farming not mentioned in summary David Cooper 6 9 16 9 19 This example addresses one of the three We have only chosen one example because of very appraoches in the bold statement. Perhaps tight word limits. More detail about the other examples should also be provided for the other actions can be found in the section numbers two? indicated. We have only chosen one example because of very tight word limits. More detail about the other actions can be found in the section numbers indicated. Jeff Ollerton 6 9 16 9 18 Although local density of pollinators is indeed We have added the word 'local' to the Exec enhanced by flower strips, it is unclear whether Summary text to clarify that these effects are not this actually translates into an increase in the population level. There is a new sentence in overall population size of those pollinators. section 6.4.1.1.1 that covers the lack of evidence Evidence is patchy to say the least. here. Two the same here. Check section and consider text. UK Government 6 9 16 9 18 Although local density of pollinators is indeed We have added the word 'local' to the Exec enhanced by flower strips, it is unclear whether Summary text to clarify that these effects are not this actually translates into an increase in the population level. There is a new sentence in overall population size of those pollinators. section 6.4.1.1.1 that covers the lack of evidence Evidence is patchy to say the least. here. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 9 24 9 24 And also some benefits to local biodiversity, Thanks for the suggestion, but we did not make the scientific research and recreational. change because this is a specific point about economic benefits.do we have the opportunities para right in the summary? Noa Simon 6 9 25 9 25 please define what is “good husbandry” of This text has been changed in the third draft. Delso managed pollinators David Cooper 6 9 26 9 26 "although", replace by "and" This text has been changed in the third draft. This changes the meaning. Good husbandry of managed pollinators for economic benefit in the long term is conditional on this regulation. Cynthia Scott- 6 9 29 9 29 Pollinator should be "pollinators" This is a matter of grammatical style. This is a Dupree matter of grammatical style. Denise Matias 6 9 29 10 51 How about including the benefits of swidden Swidden systems are described in chapter 5Not the plots to pollinators such as bees? Chapter 5 right place, but what are swidden plots? Have we mentions this several times. Support may also mentioned them? be given to swidden plots in the form of legislation decriminilazing them in (most cases). Ahmad Mahdavi 6 9 31 9 31 And this need to be continued for a long time We have not found specific evidence to support with no disturbances from toxic inputs so that this, nor have you provided any, so we will not give pollinators opportunity to well establish include it. We have not found specific evidence to support this, nor have you provided any, so we will not include it. Les Davies 6 9 26 27 strong' need? Suggest delete 'strong' This text has been changed. See line 99, comment 89. Les Davies 6 9 30 Suggest define which organic farms, in the Thanks for this suggestion, but we cannot, as the light of information at lines 35-38 evidence that underlies the bold statement does not include information about yield. Thanks for this suggestion, but we cannot, as the evidence that underlies the bold statement does not include information about yield. Les Davies 6 9 30 Quantity & quality of evidence for imnproved We do not have detailed information on the pollination services on organic farms which practices used in the organic farms where there is use lime-sulfur, rotenone and other bee-toxic evidence on pollinators, so we can make no compounds? statement about this. Les Davies 6 9 32 'poor' scientific evidence beyond Europe and This text has changed in the third draft. Change to North America? Or 'limited'? Or haven't limited. We certainly have looked. looked? Les Davies 6 9 34 increases in pollinator species with higher This is a 'contrast' effect, as you compare numbers proportions of arable land - contradictory to on organic farms with paired conventional farms. I implications of the rest of the section? don't see a contradiction. Thomas Steeger 6 9 3 9 3 What is meant by "medium to high risks"? This text removed. Noa Simon 6 10 42 10 42 These farms also provide better opportunities There is some discussion of synergies between pest Delso for pest monitoring. regulation and pollination in section 6.7. You have not provided evidence for this statement about pest monitoring and we have not reviewed this evidence, so cannot include it here. There is some discussion of synergies between pest regulation and pollination in section 6.7. You have not provided evidence for this statement about pest monitoring and we have not reviewed this evidence, so cannot include it here. Noa Simon 6 10 43 10 45 Yes, BUT statement not to be generalised. In This text has changed in the third draft. Delso areas of coventional agriculture with small size fields, the exposure of pollinators to different pesticides happens very often. As a proof, the results of the different reagions in Italy within the BeeNet could be used. Please contact either the CRA-API or the University of Bologna, Marco Lodesani or Claudio Porrini, respectively. David Cooper 6 10 47 10 51 Combine with the message on page 11, line 89 The section on payments for ecosystem services has been removed from the Exec Summary Mahmood-ur- 6 10 47 10 51 We can not compare the farmers of USA, We are not comparing. Just presenting what Rahman Ansari Europe and Australia to the farmers of evidence there is. Of course this depends on developing countries. Farmers have small land Government priorities and ability to pay. We are holdings and they can not afford to adopt many not comparing. Just presenting what evidence there of the suggetsed responses to risks discussed. is. Of course this depends on Government Moreover, the financial situation in developing priorities and ability to pay. countries do not allow the governments to support the farmers. Noa Simon 6 10 55 10 56 It would be worthwhile to check the Millenium Thanks but we specifically searched the literature Delso Assessment 2005, which developed the for evidence of tradeoffs between any ecosystem framework of the ecosyste services approach, services, and this summarises what we found. and check all the socio-economic ecosystem services described. These “non-biological” services seem to be underestimated. Sandhya 6 10 57 10 57 this is related to the above Sorry I do not know what this is about.link to Chandrasekharan comment 40. Intercontinental trade-offs do not really apply for pollinators, surely. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 10 58 10 58 solution could be band cropping with some Is this covered in the relevant section? No evidence bands in between for weeds to allow habitat for supplied so could ignore. Thank you for your biodiversity and a little tillage to remove comment but there is no evidence to support this weeds from crop bands statement. Is this covered in the relevant section? No evidence supplied so could ignore. Rebecca 6 10 58 10 58 What does "notional" mean in this case? That's this is a standard uncertainty term, as explained in Chaplin-Kramer it's possible in theory but there's no evidence the uncertainty guidance. Changed to 'speculative' for it? I think there's quite a lot of evidence that throughout, this is a standard uncertainty term, as pests (as well as enemies) can come from explained in the uncertainty guidance. Changed to natural habitat surrounding the farm. 'speculative' throughout. David Cooper 6 10 60 11 71 This message, especially sentence lines 63-66, We think this belongs in chapter 6. should be refelcted in SPM and KM and in ES of Chapter 2 Noa Simon 6 10 60 11 71 In this paragraph it is missing a This is partly, but not fully, covered by the Delso recommendation to improve the assessment of reference to the extension of monitoring which the implementation of the pesticide or GMO would improve the understanding of the scale of legistations in place. For example, it is well risk to pollinators and the pollination service. established that user training and labelling help Changed summary to include follow up monitoring to improve pesticide use but, what is the of compliance “A more complete understanding of degree of implementation in practice of pesticide and GMO impacts on pollinators and training and labelling? How many users really pollination will be achieved if environmental read what is said in the labell? Taking into monitoring is extended to include impacts on wild consideration the residues found in bees and and managed pollinators, as well as pesticide users' bees' food or in water, one could think that in compliance to use regulations and best practice certain regions, the level of practical recommendations and training” implementation is rather low. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 10 62 10 62 Completely different situation for Developing These differences are accounted for under countries, in most developing countries no 6.4.2.2.1. regulations and absolutely no enforcement and we should note that developing countries constitute most land of the planet and most are situated in warmer areas with more possibility for insect pollinator survival, speciation, etc. but unregulated use of pesticides/ other chemicals destroys all these possibilities...

Noa Simon 6 10 63 10 63 “this policy” refers to which policy? Now specified. Delso Peter Campbell 6 10 63 10 66 This sentence that assessing risk to pollinators Correct. The respective sentence has been deleted. is assessed for pesticides only by looking at honey bee, rats and game birds is wrong. For example in Europe and in some countries in Asia non-target arthropods/insect species are also tested as standard. For Europe at least 4 non-target arthropod/insects species are tested as standard for all pesticides. For insecticides more often than not, full field trials are conducted, which investigate effects on all non-target arthropoids/insects present in/around the field at the time of application (Society for Environmental Toxicology and Chemistry (SETAC): European Standard Characteristics of Non-Target Arthropod Regulatory Testing ( ESCORT 2). UK Government 6 10 66 11 68 The 'management of herbicide tolerant crops' I agree and deleted the sentence relates to the use of associated herbicides. The report's conclusion that the impact of herbicide management regimes on the environment/ biodiversity should be improved in GMO assessments suggests that herbicide use should be assessed/ regulated differently depending on whether the herbicide will be used with a GM or non GM crop (including non GM herbicide tolerant crops). This is contentious and as such, the report needs to explain/ argue why a different set of criteria or additional criteria are required for herbicide use with a GM crop. It is also worth noting that the comparative approach used in GMO assessments (rather than the use of threshold values in plant protection legislation) causes difficulties. Using two pieces of legislation to control herbicide use is also likely to be problematic, particularly in implementing risk management measures. Again, assessing herbicide use using GMO (as well as plant protection products legislation?)

Ahmad Mahdavi 6 10 68 10 68 Different situation in developing countries These differences are accounted for under with increasing day by day GM cropping and 6.4.2.2.1. no regulations. UK Government 6 10 68 11 71 The rationale for extending existing Extension of monitoring would improve our monitoring is not clear. Existing surveillance understanding of the impact of various stressors of pollinator species is carried out in the UK and would make the available data basis more because it is important; this would not change robust in rather general terms. Sentence adapted because GM crops are grown. If the suggestion accordingly. is to carry out specific studies post- authorisation, this is a different proposition. The EU legislation requires such studies where there is a potential link between the characteristics of a GM crop and an adverse environmental impact, which could not be fully tested in the ERA. It is important to define the risk hypothesis behind such studies so that experiments can be designed that generate sufficient power to detect any change in a reasonable timeframe. It is extremely difficult to link changes detected through existing surveillance networks to particular stressor(s) in the environment. This is explained in EFSA's Scientific Opinion on the use of existing environmental surveillance networks to support the post-market environmental monitoring of genetically modified plants.EFSA Journal 2014;12(11):3883 [24 pp.]. Noa Simon 6 10 73 11 81 This paragraph lacks any reference to animal Is this covered in the relevant section? No evidence Delso production. There are veterinary products that supplied so could ignore. This is addressed in are highly toxic to pollinators. Again the 6.4.4.1.4.Is this covered in the relevant section? No reduction of the exposure to those is key to evidence supplied so could ignore. avoid pollinator losses and again the principles of IPM can be applied to animal production: pathogen/parasite monitoring, ensure hygiene, diversified food, favour zootecnical measures rather than chemical ones, etc. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 10 585 10 585 Volatile compounds from plants attract insects Not very relevant? Thank you for your comment from long distances, chemical ecology in-depth but there is no evidence to support this statement. studies and better understanding of insect Not very relevant? sensory organs are the way of future to improve plant-pollinators studies. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 10 587 10 587 Plant-insect coevolution has been going for Thank you for your comment, but we can see no hundreds of million years and so better and in connection between the highlighted text and the depth understanding about these gen by gen comment, so we are unable to respond coevolution will help a lot to better appropriately. management of pollinators, we have to go to more deep chemical and biochemical interactions between plants and pollinators and also plant pests, this will help a lot if a pesticide is also present (we showed that feeding on some plants increase plant resistance to pests and pest resistance to pesticides (Mahdavi et al. 1991). Ahmad Mahdavi 6 10 595 10 595 One very important fact about insects is that: seems irrelevant. Thank you for your comment, but their evolution took place in terrestrial system, we can see no connection between the highlighted there are some aquatic insects but most orders text and the comment, so we are unable to respond are evolved in land and because of this they appropriately. Seems irrelevant. developed sophisticated systems to conserve water, resistance...... and many insects coevolved with plants so that there are lots of similarities and a lot biochemical interaction for their enzymes, as I mentioned above going to these depths will help a lot to better understanding of pollinators.... Les Davies 6 10 64 Use of rats and game birds as models for In some parts of the world, birds and mammals are pollinator risk assessment?? pollinators, so these are the relevant model organisms. In some parts of the world, birds and mammals are pollinators, so these are the relevant model organisms. Thomas Steeger 6 10 62 10 64 North American and European risk assessment Correct. The respective sentence has been deleted. schemes include larval bee toxicity tests, a range of mammals (rats, mice, hamsters, rabbits) and birds (water fowl, upland game birds, passerines) and fish (coldwater and warmwater) all of which are responsive to actual data requirements; however, the assessments also consider studies reported in the open literature which may evaluate a much broader range of species across taxa. Whole colony testing , also required by regulatory authorities consider all life stages/castes. Chronic toxicity tests for other taxa also typically evaluate responses to pesticide exposure across multiple life stages. As such, this summary statement regarding the risk assessment process is relatively parochial and misleading. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 11 71 11 71 In most developing countries doing a proper/ These differences are accounted for under correct and safe risk assessment is a myth, one 6.4.2.2.1. important difference is number of active NGOs and support of UN agencies for them in developing countries and this need ro be changed soon. David Cooper 6 11 73 11 80 Appears to be a mismatch between the bold Agree. Bold statement is about reducing exposure, statement and the main text of the para. and the rest is about reducing overall use. I have Perhaps the first non-bold sentacen should be swapped the bold statement. Agree. Bold statement bold statement? is about reducing exposure, and the rest is about reducing overall use. Emily Marquez 6 11 73 11 74 Technologies that reduce pesticide drift do not Lee, Soo-Jeong, Louise Mehler, John Beckman, eliminate all aspects of pesticide drift. Brienne Diebolt-Brown, Joanne Prado, Michelle Incidents of pesticide drift occur every year, Lackovic, Justin Waltz, et al. “Acute Pesticide and a number of those cases are not always due Illnesses Associated with Off-Target Pesticide to applicator error. Pesticide drift cases are Drift from Agricultural Applications: 11 States, frequently underreported and as a result are 1998–2006.” Environmental Health Perspectives difficult to study, but one example is 119, no. 8 (June 6, 2011): 1162–69. referenced here, a study of cases of drift that doi:10.1289/ehp.1002843; Practical Farmers of resulted in human illness (Lee et al. 2011). In Iowa. “Summary of Public Record: IDALS addition, a summary of public record from Pesticide Bureau Case Files for Alleged Spray Practical Farmers of Iowa documents spray Drift to Organic, Fruits and Vegetables, and drift case files as reported to Iowa Dept. of Horticulture. 2008-2012.” Iowa, USA, 2013.; Agriculture and Land Stewardship, with cases Jones, Ainsley, Paul Harrington, and Gordon of drift reported from 2008-2012 is cited here Turnbull. “Neonicotinoid Concentrations in Arable (PFI, 2013). Application practices should not Soils after Seed Treatment Applications in be the first idea promoted here to reduce Preceding Years: Neonicotinoid Concentrations in exposure of pollinators, because this approach Arable Soil.” Pest Management Science, July does not actually reduce usage of pesticides. 2014, n/a – n/a. doi:10.1002/ps.3836.Check Reduction of use by reliance on integrated pest references. Summary paragraph will be changed to management, with pesticides used as a last make sentence 2 the bold statement. Check resort, would reduce how much pesticide is references. Summary paragraph will be changed to used and thus how much pesticide a pollinator make sentence 2 the bold statement. Lee, Soo- si exposed to. Technological solutions to Jeong, Louise Mehler, John Beckman, Brienne reduce drift are not sufficient, given that post- Diebolt-Brown, Joanne Prado, Michelle Lackovic, application, pesticide residues can persist in Justin Waltz, et al. “Acute Pesticide Illnesses the environment (Jones et al 2014). Associated with Off-Target Pesticide Drift from Agricultural Applications: 11 States, 1998–2006.” Environmental Health Perspectives 119, no. 8 (June 6, 2011): 1162–69. doi:10.1289/ehp.1002843; Practical Farmers of Iowa. “Summary of Public Record: IDALS Pesticide Bureau Case Files for Alleged Spray Drift to Organic, Fruits and Vegetables, and Horticulture. 2008-2012.” Iowa, USA, 2013.; Jones, Ainsley, Paul Harrington, and Gordon Turnbull. “Neonicotinoid Concentrations in Arable Soils after Seed Treatment Applications in Preceding Years: Neonicotinoid Concentrations in Arable Soil.” Pest Management Science, July 2014, n/a – n/a. doi:10.1002/ps.3836. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 11 74 11 74 One very important issue that is not mentioned Could add something to main text? Biopesticides here is substituting dangerous synthetic and "natural products" are not a priori less toxic to pesticide with natural products and pollinators than synthetic products and need to go biopesticides. I am working on the neem tree through risk-assessment. Could add something to in the Persian Gulf area, this is the species with main text? high promises of pest control and it is well tailored for developing countries. We have to revive and develop natural pyrethrins and there are many other pesticidal plants/ animals and devices that need more work, in fact we have to start to think that conventional pesticides are the story of past and need to work and develop alternatives. Aerial spraying with wide drift must be stopped globally... Ahmad Mahdavi 6 11 76 11 76 But little practice & no enforcement of proper For main text, not summary. Thank you for your IPM in developing countries under pressure of comment. The positive feedback is greatly pesticide corporations, pesticide mafias....etc. appreciated by the chapter authors. For main text, not summary. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 11 78 11 78 We have to take into consideration that now These issues are covered in the main text (e.g. line other than some 1000s or 10000s pesticides 814). Is synergy between chemicals also (including biocides) we are facing with mentioned? These issues are covered in the main millions of different toxic chemicals and their text. These issues are covered in the main text (e.g. metabolites finding their ways in all niches and line 814). Is synergy between chemicals also habitats with high possibility of synergism mentioned? between them, when they are already found in all human embryos (average of 30) all over the planet why not to be discovered in all bees embryos!? Ahmad Mahdavi 6 11 80 11 80 Need immediate action for developing and in Thanks for this comment. The assessment report is particular Middle Eastern countries for these mandated to provide policy-relevant information, training and education, Also the matter of not policy recommendations, so we would not be pollinators in ever increasing city farming able to make the recommendation suggested. systems around cities...... must be considered. We better go to the basics of applied ecology to solve many of these IPM related problems, considering new beautiful sciences of chemical ecology, biochemical ecology, allelopathy etc. and now there are no knowledge about these sciences in many developing countries. Noa Simon 6 11 83 11 87 These native vegetation patches ideally are We do not know of evidence that supports this for Delso interconnected. pollinators, and you have not supplied it. CHECK. Text on connectivity has been added. We do not know of evidence that supports this for pollinators, and you have not supplied it. CHECK.

Ahmad Mahdavi 6 11 93 11 93 What about small land owners? This method is This level of detail is too great to be included in the best for family farms the summary section. David Aston 6 11 95 Not all invasive species have a negative impact Mentioned in main text? Mentioned in main text? on pollinators, e.g. Impatiens glandulifera G39 David Cooper 6 11 95 11 97 Is there any evidence or prospect for the use of There is little evidence available regarding the biocontrol against invasive species? effectiveness or otherwise of this approach and so it has not been highlighted in the report. Kimiko Okabe 6 11 95 11 7 I do not understand logic of these sentences. This text has been re-written and is now more clear. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 11 96 11 96 Eradication of any species might be possible in This issue is addressed in the body of the report, a very small area but always very difficult, the but was considered too detailed to warrant a place term "ERADICATION" is not an acceptable in the executive summary. term in IPM system and is not allowed and not possible Thomas Brooks 6 11 96 11 96 Add text to read "…on mitigating their impact The text has been edited in accordance with this and preventing new invasions...", to ensure recommendation consistency on this important point with Chapter 6 (page 38, lines 1255-1257). Kimiko Okabe 6 11 99 12 105 Japan has Invasive Alien Species Act, in which Text regarding Japan's Invasive species act has domestic transportation of Bombus terrestris is now been added to section 6.4.3.2. The authors strongly ristricted believe it is important to highlight the evidence (https://www.env.go.jp/en/nature/as.html). that restricted trade in managed pollinators can be Also, the same comment for 6.4.4.2. There is an effective tool in managing the risk of invasion no distinctive conslusion -too broad- in this and pathogen spread, so the text has been retained part. (with edits) in the executive summary. Noa Simon 6 11 99 12 105 This is positive, but please do not forget that done (both in exec summary and also added Delso pollinator predators can also be introduced via mention of this to 6.4.4.2 LEGAL RESPONSES international trade of fruit, plants, or other goods. Furthermore, there is a market of wild pollinators, even more deregulated than that of managed pollinators. I would modify this paragraph by proposing a strong need for better regulation of trade in any goods possibly spreading parasites and pathogens of pollinators. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 11 101 11 101 Developing more scientifically safe quarantine we feel that this is covered adequately in the methods, laws and regulations to be used/ summary for policy makers acted in boundaries are needed Ahmad Mahdavi 6 11 603 11 603 Different insect traps (not killing traps) and in Thank you for your comment. We aware that there particular chemical traps are good for are many short-term monitoring of pollinators monitoring, we tested lots of chemical traps in around the word but what we are mentioning is the past, they also will help for understanding that there is a lack of national programs of insect chemical communications that is a key systematic long-term monitoring of pollinators factor for these studies... Ahmad Mahdavi 6 11 607 11 607 Considering high diversity of plants and Thanks for this comment. There is clearly a need insects in the big land of Iran and that many for better pollinator monitoring in many parts of years of no such studies because of sanctions the world. This is highlighted here and in chapter etc., I love to do a study in Iran. 3. Thanks for this comment. There is clearly a need for better pollinator monitoring in many parts of the world. This is highlighted here and in chapter 3. Thanks for this comment. There is clearly a need for better pollinator monitoring in many parts of the world. This is highlighted here and in chapter 3. Les Davies 6 11 99 See comments at 26-27 (above) comment 32comment 32It is unclear what this refers to and as such it is hard to know what, if any, action to take Thomas Steeger 6 11 69 11 69 monitoring studies also have inherent All approaches (studies as well as monitoring) limitation which should be acknowledged (e.g., have their specific limitations and shortcomings limited reference sites and similar to field and advantages. Unfortunately, the space limit toxicity studies, they can be subject to a wide does not allow us to address these in detail range of confounding factors). Ahmad Mahdavi 6 12 104 12 104 There are strict and carefully defined This is an excellent point but is a very general one regulations for import/ export of any species related to a very broad range of policies in the between different countries and unfortunately developing world (and even in some cases in the they are not followed in most developing developed world), and thus we feel like it is countries, this is because of lack of enough beyond the scope of the executive summary to knowledge/ lack of organization and proper include infrastructures and so stops/ prevent such beneficial species movements between countries... Ahmad Mahdavi 6 12 115 12 115 Bees including honey bees as the most Thanks for the comment. We do not quite see the important group of pollinators are the most relevance of the evolutionary age of bees. We have evolved/ coevolved insects, their evolution discussed the importance of genetic diversity, happened only during the past 70 million years especially in the Hymenoptera which are (as compared to many insect orders evolving particularly at risk of inbreeding depression due to since about 350 years ago...) and this is very haplodiploidy (section 6.4.1.1.3) Thanks for the important when we talk/ act for their genetic comment. We do not quite see the relevance of the diversity/ improvements/ selection etc. For evolutionary age of bees. We have discussed the movement between countries, many aspects importance of genetic diversity, especially in the must be taken into considerations.... Hymenoptera which are particularly at risk of inbreeding depression due to haplodiploidy. CHECK THIS. Thanks for the comment. We do not quite see the relevance of the evolutionary age of bees. We have discussed the importance of genetic diversity, especially in the Hymenoptera which are particularly at risk of inbreeding depression due to haplodiploidy. CHECK THIS. David Cooper 6 12 119 11 121 this clause whoudl become the bold statement We have edited this paragraph substantially and for this paragraph this point is reflected in the new version Ahmad Mahdavi 6 12 122 12 122 Insects and in particular bees evolved a very Thanks for the comment. We do not quite see the different sophisticated sensory system beyond relevance to the text highlighted. Thanks for the our imagination and even beyond our recent comment. We do not quite see the relevance to the knowledge and these make the situation very text highlighted. Thanks for the comment. We do complicated. Insect pollinators communicate not quite see the relevance to the text highlighted. with plants from long distances before visiting...... David Cooper 6 12 125 12 135 Suggest to combine these two paragaphs OK. We have combined the two paragraphs. OK. Jeff Ollerton 6 12 125 12 128 Although it's true that active management of Agree with this - link with chapter 2. This is urban spaces for pollinators can have a positive explained in chapter 2Agree with this - link with impact on those pollinators, it should be chapter 2. mentioned somewhere that urban areas typically only comprise a small proporiton of the land area of a country (in UK it's about 6% I believe) and so this could never be a substitute for action in the wider agricultural landscape (about 70% of the UK). UK Government 6 12 125 12 128 Although it's true that active management of Same as comment 98This is explained in chapter urban spaces for pollinators can have a positive 2Same as comment 98 impact on those pollinators, it should be mentioned somewhere that urban areas typically only comprise a small proportion of the land area of a country and so this could never be a substitute for action in the wider agricultural landscape.

Ahmad Mahdavi 6 12 134 12 134 High Noise pollution around roads and railway Are potential negative impacts of using roads banks may prevent this, in Northern Iran with considered in main text (I think so)? That is an dense insect population there are millions of impact covered by chapter 2 (impacts) and not insects killed by each car front windows every chapter 6 (responses). However, I have read only day..... one paper estimating road kill of bumble bees in Belgium concluding no significant effect at the population level. Are potential negative impacts of using roads considered in main text (I think so)? Claire Kremen 6 12 134 what about the role of mortality from roadkill? Are potential negative impacts of using roads considered in main text (I think so)? That is an impact covered by chapter 2 (impacts) and not chapter 6 (responses). However, I have read only one paper estimating road kill of bumble bees in Belgium concluding no significant effect at the population level. Are potential negative impacts of using roads considered in main text (I think so)? Les Davies 6 12 134 metal contamination? Not clear what is meant in this comment German 6 13 138 13 139 Insert the bold words: "can guide research We did not insert this text because this statement Government agendas, lead to important research outcomes makes the point that they can lead to outcomes, and …" rather than listing everything strategic initiatives might achieve. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 13 141 13 141 What I recommend is wide research in the This kind of basic research on pollinators is greatly World about insect plant interactions and needed, but is not reviewed in this chapter. Thanks coevolution, we need to do further research on for this suggestion. CHECK - is there something insect sensory tactiles, chemical sensory on basic insect ecology and evolution in the receptors....etc this is a beautiful story of knowledge gaps? nature. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 13 146 13 146 Again we have to point in lack of enough We do not have time or resources to do a full education relevant to natural issues in global review of education provision on developing countries and in particular in pollinators, so it is difficult to make this point Middle Eastern, when we compare a Western specifically. Check whether any Middle Eastern radio eg. CBC, a large amount of talks belong examples. to insects, nature.....but what you here in Middle Eastern radios are only politics and religion... Ahmad Mahdavi 6 13 148 13 148 Surely more work must be done for education We do not have time or resources to do a full in developing countries, eg; Iran as a very global review of education provision on diverse country for any aspects of diversity has pollinators, so it is difficult to make this point great potential for development of more/ better specifically. pollinators to be used inside and outside the country.

Ahmad Mahdavi 6 13 153 13 153 There are already supporting evidence about Our assessment of evidence on the impacts of use of Neonicotinoid insecticides and CCD. neonics is in chapter 2. CCD is very related to pollinators and their populations so at first we should define and enforce pesticide/ chemicals regulatory systems particularly for developing countries, I will discuss about this issue in detail in other parts..... David Cooper 6 13 157 13 158 and butterfiles? This text has been edited out in the third draft. Add Butterfly Monitoring protocol. David Aston 6 13 158 Which aspects could be monitored? This is described in the relevant section. Abundance and diversity. David Aston 6 13 154 Registration of beekeepers on BeeBase in the This text has been edited out in the third draft. UK is still voluntary, not compulsory Check main text. Rebecca 6 14 173 14 186 This one seems quite a bit longer and more This paragraph has been revised. Chaplin-Kramer nuanced and detailed than any of the other paragraphs. Maybe reduce for symmetry? Noa Simon 6 14 175 14 180 This example is wrong and I would This example has been removed. Not sure what Delso recommend reconsidering its inclusion here. this is asking for. The precautionary approach was applied because there were new scientific evidence showing that the approval criteria (Art. 4) were no longer met (see Art. 21 of Regulation 1107/2009). Uncertainty about exposure data of wild pollinators or lack of understanding of the effect on bees of different multistressors existed already for many years (scientific references available under request), without the precautionary principle being applied. In this case, decision makers applied the law, because as previously mentioned, the approval criteria were no longer met. The main source of uncertainty was the industry producing pesticide products containing these active ingredients, who had an interest in the existance of this uncertainty. These companies and their representatives shifted the relevant question to one that favour the existance of uncertainty. The legal framework says that pesticides can be in the market if they are, among others, safe to the environment. Therefore the question the regulation needs to answer is: are the approved pesticides damaging, among others, bees? The legal framework does not aim to give answer to the question: are neonicotinoids the reason of pollinators decline?. I hope that with this explanation the authors can appreciate the difference in the approach.

Peter Campbell 6 14 175 14 180 There is no evidence that EU Policy makers This example has been removed. took any of the uncertainites listed in this text into consideration when they restricted the neonics? Ie where is the reference to support this statement. It is our understanding that the Neonics were restricted by EC in light of the evaluation conducted by EFSA which used a completely new and untested standard of regulatory testing, which Member State countries continue to be unable to agree on or adopt, 2 years after it was first published in the EFSA Bee Guidance Document. Noa Simon 6 14 176 14 176 temporarily restriction on neonicotinoids was Note from Christian: The restrictions came into Delso in 2013. force in 2013, the text should be adapted accordingly. However, the restrictions are NOT “temporary”. Corrected check Ahmad Mahdavi 6 14 177 14 177 There are now enough supporting evidence Not sure what is asked for. about effects of neonics on bees and birds, many references. Pesticides are designed to kill and very sophisticated killing pesticides like neonics should not be allowed to be used in any natural environment considering the already threatened situation by different chemicals. David Cooper 6 14 186 14 186 insert at end: "… to specific local condiitions" This text has been edited out in the third draft. David Cooper 6 14 188 14 188 insert after trad-offs, "..and synergies…" Done German 6 14 188 14 190 "..., organic farming ..., but usually results in A very detailed consideration of yield effects of Government lower food production at local scale". This organic farming is beyond the scope of this report, assumption and this section altogether might although we have tried to cover the literature and not cover all facets of organic farming and also include this as far as possible. not cover e.g. issues regarding climate smart agriculture. We strongly encourage you to provide more information on the existing alternative farming systems and the opportunities for pollinators. This section of the report will clearly benefit from more substance. Bearing also in mind the global demographic trends and the growing demand for food, it strikes ironically that often vegetable crops are not harvested due to their failure to meet retailers'/consumers' standards. Also, a good portion of the food is thrown away by consumers or is lost due to suboptimal storage. We invite the authors to briefly sketch such trends as well in terms of a more holistic approach, and their possible implications for discussing pollinator-related responses across sectors to support more broad policy discussions/initiatives (see for also chapter 6, lines 522-524, page 32). Rebecca 6 14 188 14 194 This is a strange argument to make; it's making We have retained the organic farming/yield Chaplin-Kramer the linkage between greater pollination in example, although clarified it somehow. We think lower yielding systems again that I didn't like it is important to consider, given the clear benefits above (p 10 : 35-38) and this time it's even of organic farming to pollinators. more confusing because on the one hand it's framed as a trade-off between pollination and yields but on the other yields may be reliant on pollination. I think a better trade-off would be that the same foraging resources that attract pollinators could also attract pests (especially lepidopteran). And that trade-off could be turned into a synergy if it turns out pollinators and pests are responding to slightly different resources and the habitat can be managed accordingly. David Aston 6 14 190 Is synergy right in this context? We have changed the wording. Thomas Steeger 6 14 175 14 178 Do these uncertainties only pertain to This example has been removed. neonicotinoids? If not, should similar restrictions be placed on pyrethroids, organophosphates, carbamates, conazole and strobularin fungicides, triazine and sulfonyl urea herbicides . . .? These are important questions that must be evaluated by regulatory authorities when determining whether older chemistrieis represent a risk to a broader number of taxa than newer chemistries where effects/uncertainties may be limited to a select few. Claire Kremen 6 15 203 15 215 this seems like a good organization; thanks for Thank you for this comment. Thank you for this the summary of it here comment. Noa Simon 6 15 204 15 205 why are pesticides separated from agriculture? Pesticides are separated from agriculture because Delso Pesticides are tools used in agriculture, mainly, they are usually treated as different policy areas. unless in the pesticides also other uses are We have clarified in the text. Pesticides are included like urban gardens, forests, etc. Is this separated from agriculture because they are usually the case? treated as different policy areas. We have clarified in the text. Noa Simon 6 15 205 15 205 beekeeping belongs to pollinator management It is indeed in the same section. It is specified here Delso because it is usually for a different purpose than pollination - honey production. It is indeed in the same section. It is specified here because it is usually for a different purpose than pollination - honey production. Claire Kremen 6 15 219 "complex and much discussed" doesn't say This is an indication that there is a huge amount of much literature here that we are not going to attempt to describe. I think it's fairly clear. Noa Simon 6 15 222 15 222 I would include “economy” on the list done Delso Ahmad Mahdavi 6 15 731 15 731 For developing countries situated in arid dry You do not provide any supporting evidence that land countries lime Middle Eastern countries the social and behavioural responses required in needs different natural and social methods to arid developing countries are fundamentally be practiced and followed. We need more work different in some way, so we have not changed the and education to be initiated in these countries, text. in most of them still no crop insurance, not enough knowledge..etc Ahmad Mahdavi 6 15 741 15 741 Farm field schools are a good method for these Farmer field schools are mentioned in this section. types of education. Recently there are good You do not provide supporting evidence for the programs going in Northern Iran by the other suggestions. Cross reference to section Caspian between farmers and educators of 6.4.4.1 agricultural organizations, but the big problems in all developing countries and in particular Middle Eastern countries are lack of enough active NGOs and community workers to help for these types of work. Thomas Steeger 6 15 204 15 207 consider: "the sectors, presented in Section I prefer not to make this stylistic change. 6.4.6 include:" then bullet out each of the sectors Thomas Steeger 6 15 219 15 219 for consistency sake, replace "for example" an issue of style will be edited with the whole with "e.g.," document. Thomas Steeger 6 15 221 15 222 it's uncertain whether "politics" differs from done "power"; recommend deleting "power" or using "economics" Thomas Steeger 6 15 248 15 249 Each of the organizations/meetings listed web links added. should be referenced. Thomas Steeger 6 15 250 15 250 Define "Aichi" This is the name of a place where targets were agreed. Reference is provided. I do not think it needs defining. Thomas Steeger 6 15 253 15 253 are "particularly relevant" to what? added "to pollinators and pollination" German 6 16 248 16 251 We appreciate the consideration of ongoing Thank you for this comment. Thank you for this Government international initiviatives (e.g. SDGs, Aichi comment. targets) as means to mainstream the isssue of pollinators/pollination. Thomas Steeger 6 16 259 16 259 delete second period after "incorporated." It Here the word 'local' means local at the relevant may be worth while to note that while local scale, which could be national.it may be stakeholders can be an effective force if worthwhile to note that while local stakeholders suitably organized, there are national-level can be an effective force if suitably organized, stakeholders whose influence on there are national-level stakeholders whose economics/politics can dictate policy cycles. influence on economics/politics can dictate policy cycles. Rebecca 6 17 254 17 279 Figure 1 - I don't find this particularly helpful. Thanks. We will consider your suggestion when Chaplin-Kramer It was interesting in the text to say the type of re-drawing the figure with our graphic artist. science from which chapter entered into which part of the process, and that could be shown as arrows of different science questions feeding into each step. Also - as this does not just apply to policy or decisions concerning pollination, I'm assuming this is linked to something broader for IPBES? Can that linkage be made more clear? Peter Campbell 6 18 261 23 280 It should be made clear that this is a The treatment of risks has changed in this section. Conceptual risk analysis. In table 6.2.1 What The tables are replaced by some text, with links to would be useful is referencing the current relevant sections of the report. Think we should try scientifc / data evidence base that supports to do this, with section numbers from the whole each of the listed potential impacts. Ie it would report. be good to be able to identify risks supported by real evidence from hypothetical risks based on personal opinions of authors. Noa Simon 6 19 278 20 280 Table 6.2.1. To be added in POTENTIAL The wording of each impact was agreed by the Delso IMPACTS AND OPPORTUNITIES – whole group of authors, and the risk was evaluated apitherapy (health treatments based on bee on this basis, so we cannot change it. Apitherapy products) is not just a resource for research, products are captured in 'fall in honey production but a market and part of our cultural heritage. (and other hive products), OR 'loss of distinctive Beekeeping products, like wax, also have ways of life and cultural practices', depending on technological uses. Pollinators (inlcuding the nature of the market or practice. managed ones, not just wild pollinators) are a source of inspiration, aside the aesthetic value, happiness or well-ness. There are a number of scientific technological inventions inspired in the bee biology (e.g. Development of visual guided flight robotics (Srinivasan MV (2011) Honeybees as a Model for the Study of Visually Guided Flight, Navigation, and Biologically Inspired Robotics. Physiol Rev 91: 413–460. doi:10.1152/physrev.00005.2010.)) Please consider these points as well in the table. Noa Simon 6 19 278 20 280 Table 6.2.1 Direct impacts on food production The wording of each impact was agreed by the Delso – Reduce availability of managed pollinators. whole group of authors, and the risk was evaluated This statement could be completed by adding on this basis, so we cannot change it. “and increased honeybee disorders” (Kluser S, Peduzzi P (2007) Global pollinator decline: a literature review. UNEP/ GRID- Europe. ß UNEP 2007. Switzerland.; Maxim L, van der Sluijs JP (2010) Expert explanations of honeybee losses in areas of extensive agriculture in France: Gaucho H compared with other supposed causal factors. Environ Res Lett 5: 014006. doi:10.1088/1748-9326/ 5/1/014006; vanEngelsdorp D, Meixner MD (2010) A historical review of managed honey bee populations in Europe and the United States and the factors that may affect them. J Invertebr Pathol 103: S80–S95; Simon-Delso N, San Martin G, Bruneau E, Minsart L-A, Mouret C, et al. (2014) Honeybee Colony Disorder in Crop Areas: The Role of Pesticides and Viruses. PLoS ONE 9(7): e103073. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0103073)

Thomas Brooks 6 19 279 20 280 The use of the term "biocultural diversity" The use of this term has been agreed by the CLAs. (simultaneous biological and cultural diversity) It is defined and used extensively in chapter 5, is not very appropriate, the three places it is including in the title. used in Table 6.2.1. Change it to "biodiversity and its benefits to people" or something similar. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 19 762 19 762 This is what needed in most developing Thank you for your comment. The positive countries where there are lots of educated feedback is greatly appreciated by the chapter people but no relationship between them and authors. farmers, we have to create a system like Farmer field schools to engage agrienvironmental educated people in helping farmers. UK Government 6 19 Table 19 Table Table 6.2.1: Suggest include possible changes This is captured by 'price changes and changes in 6.2.1 6.2.1 in areas and proportions of different crops demand, in response to yield changes' available as farmers could switch crops due to yield instability Thomas Steeger 6 19 279 19 279 Delete space after "natural ecosystems" in done second row of left column Adolfo Pérez 6 20 279 20 280 Loss of knowledge about interaction Sorry it is not clear what is meant here, and there is Piñeiro pollinators-plants in pollination activity. no reference or explanation provided. Sorry it is not clear what is meant here, and there is no reference or explanation provided. Adolfo Pérez 6 20 279 20 280 Maintenance of pollinators as indicators of Sorry it is not clear what is meant here, and there is Piñeiro potential biological active substances as result no reference or explanation provided. Sorry it is of coevolution with pollinated plants. not clear what is meant here, and there is no reference or explanation provided. Adolfo Pérez 6 20 279 20 280 Loose of species as result of looses of specific This is covered - loss of plant and wild pollinator Piñeiro pollinators diversity. This is covered - loss of plant and wild pollinator diversity. Diane Castle 6 20 280 20 282 A qualitative summary of the probability and Thanks for this comment. The treatment of risk has scale of impact for the direct drivers based on changed substantially. Rigorous quantification of individual consultation with the authors does relative costs and effectiveness of interventions for not seem to be a robust mechanism to underpin pollinators and pollination are not yet available at major policy advice. In addition any evidence this global, or even regional scale. We feel that based drivers used to set policy and resulting expert assessment of probability and impact based practical interventions should be subject to on the available evidence (as presented in draft 2) rigourous quantification in relation to is an extremely valid approach, BUT we have pollination services with the associated the withdrawn it from the report because the timing costs and effectiveness did not allow us to complete it with satisfactory and transparent links to the final contents of the report. Such an exercise needs to be completed in a workshop following the final draft of the report. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 20 764 20 764 What I recommend to be substituted title is: Pollutants is a wider term that include chemicals Pesticides, chemicals....we need to include the and we therefore keep this title. term "chemicals" because now the problem of toxic pollution in farming is too much wider than only pesticides, like fertilizers, plant growth regulators, many more.... Ahmad Mahdavi 6 20 771 20 771 Disagree for this definition for pesticides: The term "pesticides" also includes herbicides, instead must be: ....controlling insect pests..... fungicides, etc., and not only insecticides. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 20 776 20 776 The sentence is not correct: instead we have to I agree with this change. I agree with this change. write: and the exposure of pollinators to Text adapted accordingly. I agree with this change. compound(s). Exposure is from the side of life "to" not from the chemical compound. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 20 777 20 777 But unfortunately in many developing Mutual recognition of risk assessments from other countries they do not perform separate risk countries are not specific to developing countries. assessment and accept the information In the text we clearly highlight the enormous provided by the company! or at most variation in regulation among countries. information provided by agencies in developed World like EPA, etc. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 20 781 20 781 Should be added: but ecotoxicological tests are In the text we clearly highlight the enormous rarely done in most developing countries. As variation in regulation among countries, and we are all aware there are big regulatory different options and examples to improve problems with most pesticide in most regulation in countries with poor regulation. developing countries. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 20 783 20 783 Chronic toxicity testings? We need this for Testing methods for evaluation chronic toxicity of important creatures like bees. pesticides to bees are available as described in the text. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 20 788 20 788 In toxicity testing one important factor to be In order to overcome potential issues with taken into consideration is heterogeneity/ sensitivity differences between different strains, homogeneity of the population under test and test methods are normally ring-tested before these are different in different species and even implementation, to make sure that test results are different strains of each population and so for reproducible in spite of potential intraspecific very important (and may be very sensitive/ variability. It is impossible to make risk susceptible) insects like pollinators each assessments separately for all exposed species. bioassay must be conducted separately for Interspecies variability is covered by the use of separate species and strains... extrapolation factors or by the choice of particularly sensitive species as surrogate test organisms. These problem are addressed in the assessment Ahmad Mahdavi 6 20 789 20 789 Unfortunately these are methodologies of the As is mentioned in the text, these methods are past century and most are not and should not under constant scrutiny and development. Here we be accepted in our very scientifically present the state-of-the-art for that research sophisticated and on the other hand very polluted recent century. How we can accept LD50s of a compound found for rats, for very sensitive and very in dangered species like bird many of them on the top of the food chain and web? I as a member of CMS poisoning group would like to make some new procedure/ definitions for these types of exposure/ toxicity testing. Doing a scientifically safe bioassay for toxicity testing is another problem. Marina Rosales 6 20 20 Table. Opportunities: I suggest to This statement is a combination of many things, Benites de include:Restore degraded habitats to improve and is covered by four opportunities already in the Franco pollinators conservation and its ecosystem table: 'Improved conditions and habitats for other services, giving enhanced structure, and species' ; 'Maintenance of wild pollinator diversity' functions communities. ; 'Improved or more stable yield' AND 'enhancement of other ecosystem services ‘This statement is a combination of many things, and is covered by four opportunities already in the table: 'Improved conditions and habitats for other species' ; 'Maintenance of wild pollinator diversity' ; 'Improved or more stable yield' AND 'enhancement of other ecosystem services' Rebecca 6 21 286 21 300 This seems like it could just go in a figure The treatment of risks has changed in this section. Chaplin-Kramer legend. What I was hoping for that is missing The tables are replaced by some text, with links to from the table itself is an explanation of WHY relevant sections of the report. certain regions are high risk (high probability + high impact). Even if this is treated in more detail in other chapters, it would be great as a sumary here to provide example narratives for a few of the red boxes, like Asia Pacific for loss of wild pollinator diversity or Latin America for loss of distinctive ways of life/cultural practices, etc., with text explaining or even just hypothesizing why this region ha a high probability of this occuring and a high magnitude of impact or number of people affected. Claire Kremen 6 21 294 21 300 Are large, medium and small effects simply The treatment of risks has changed in this section. relative to one another, or is there a way of The tables are replaced by some text, with links to indicating the boundaries of numbers of people relevant sections of the report. affected or area affected for each category? Rebecca 6 21 299 21 299 Missing period This text has gone. Chaplin-Kramer Emily Marquez 6 21 301 21 309 It might be worth ranking which drivers of risk Sorry this is not possible. associated with pollinator decline can be addressed in a relatively quick fashion, by reducing usage of pesticides. Diane Castle 6 21 302 21 304 Same comment as above Sorry it is not clear what is meant here, and there is no reference or explanation provided. Comment 150 Ahmad Mahdavi 6 21 796 21 796 As I mentioned in another place now that We agree that interactive effects of compounds are people and the whole nature are exposed to a potentially important and poorly studied, and this mixture of compounds and their metabolites is mentioned in the main text. (cumulative exposure) always there are high possibility of synergism and synergistic effects between these compounds and usually the outcome is many times toxicity and not added one, most of time the mechanism is metabolic which means one compound stops the detoxifying enzyme (most of time and in most species all over the planet Cytochrome P-450 mix of enzymes) and the other compound(s) exert its effects (please see: Mahdavi et al. 1991, Environ. Entomol). And again I have to emphasis the importance of insect-plant interactions and enzyme studies for a more scientifically acceptable toxicity assessment for important creatures like pollinator insects, and also as much important insect sensory systems by methods like SEM (we did in the past).

Ahmad Mahdavi 6 21 810 21 810 And chemicals and their metabolites. This is included in the term “other stressors” and a reference is provided. No change made because of space limits Ahmad Mahdavi 6 21 810 21 810 Like toxic air pollution etc. This is included in the term “other stressors” and a reference is provided. No change made because of space limits Ahmad Mahdavi 6 21 815 21 815 The number is much more higher. No reference for another number is provided Ahmad Mahdavi 6 21 825 21 825 These tools are very good, must be developed Thank you for your comment. The positive and employed widely on the planet, feedback is greatly appreciated by the chapter unfortunately there are now more exposure in authors. developing countries that requires more work and activities. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 21 827 21 827 Pesticide(s)/ chemicals types and.... Pesticides is a term defined in the glossary.

Thomas Steeger 6 21 290 21 290 Insert space between "unlikely.Impropable" Done Thomas Steeger 6 21 296 21 299 defining terminology using the very term that The treatment of risks has changed in this section. is being defined is not particularly informative, The tables are replaced by some text, with links to e.g., "Moderate means there is evidence of a relevant sections of the report. moderate impact . . .over a moderate area or affecting some people moderately . .." Thomas Steeger 6 21 299 21 300 insert period after ". . .only slightly" and before This text has gone. "Again, . . ." Thomas Steeger 6 21 305 21 307 While this statement is based on "expert Climate change does appear in Table 6.2.4, for two opinion" it is a little surprising that climate of the impacts (decline in wild fruit yields and change is not considered a prominent driver decline in long term resilience of food production). especially given that preceding chapters It just does not come through as prominently as identify it as a prominent factor. these other drivers when experts were asked to select the most important drivers for each impact separately. Thomas Steeger 6 21 307 21 309 Again, it is a little surprising that pests and Pollinator parasites and pathogens do appear in diseases are not considered as prominent Table 6.2.4, for two of the impacts (decline in wild pressures on pollinators. fruit yields and fall in honey production). They do not come through as prominently as these other drivers when experts were asked to select the most important drivers for each impact separately. I think this is correct. We do not have evidence linking these to crop pollination deficits, for example, or loss of wild pollinator diversity.... Thomas Steeger 6 21 314 21 314 hyphenate "long-term" planning this is a style issue and subject to editorial control by IPBES. Adolfo Pérez 6 22 338 22 340 It is a very big difference between beekeeping Thanks. Both elements are covered in this section. Piñeiro for honey production and beekeeping for pollination. It is possible to be a very good beekeeper producing honey and not be or not to have enough knowledge to handle hives for pollination; or to deal with farmers not prepared to handle or protect honey bees or other pollinators in their fields. Other pollinators than bees won't produce honey or other products than better fruits or seeds. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 22 831 22 831 Pesticide use and pesticide/ chemicals Exposure and hazard are relevant for exposure. environmental safety, not the use as such. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 22 835 22 835 This seems to me impossible if we are talking There exist synthetic insecticides with low toxicity about synthetic conventional pesticides, these to bees, that should be chosen if possible as has pesticide designed carefully to kill and also been recommended in several instances. The designed carefully to target the nervous term “pesticide” can include biologically derived system...we have rather to think more about compounds and organisms more alternatives for pesticides like natural products etc. and think more about the non- chemical control measures in framework of a well defined IPM program. Thomas Steeger 6 22 323 22 323 cosider replacing "It says" with "According to done the report. . ." Peter Campbell 6 23 353 23 353 Table 6.2.2 - Again it should be made clear The treatment of risks has changed in this section. that this is a Conceptual analysis . It would be The tables are replaced by some text, with links to more informative to carry out the same relevant sections of the report. exercise using "weight of scientific or data evidence". For example for some if not all of the potential impacts there must be some data available that could be referenced. Diane Castle 6 23 866 23 867 The difficulty of finding new modes of action Text adapted accordingly: “However, the number and the cost of developing and approving new of new active ingredients being developed and products is a factor here and should be introduced is limited, due to economic and included. Ensuring adequate returns on environmental challenges.” investment is essential to innovation. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 23 876 23 876 Best management practices are those related to Best management practice can include economic lines for the pest, if we think considerations that lie beyond the compliance to correctly about the control and follow the economic thresholds etc., e.g. the use of wind "Economic Injury Level" and "Economic shields and less toxic compounds, not spraying in Threshold" "Equilibrium level" etc. and follow day time etc. these lines carefully then we need no or least amount of pesticides in our IPM program if there will not be pressures from local pesticide companies and global TNCs. IPM includes any types of activity that we do to hold the pest population under economic lines. Sandhya 6 24 349 24 353 a similar table as given here can be drawn up Yes, that would have been a very good idea. Chandrasekharan for indirect/direct drivers. Ie. Connect to Unfortunately, we did not have the time or chapter 2, pg 11, pp.191-195 resources to conduct such an exercise for drivers as well, but we will consider this for a future output. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 24 897 24 897 There are strict laws and regulations about No reference is provided using pesticides when bee hives are present, some extent distances must be followed and many other regulations unfortunately all for developed world, some regulations may exist in developing countries but rarely enforces. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 24 898 24 898 One important method is Sterile Male These are included under biological control Technique or Sterile Insect technique for methods and mentioned in the text as key response controlling important general pests in in IPM agriculture, health and veterinary pests, this types of methods must be more developed to substitute pesticides, the method is called areawide control and prevent use of pesticides in a large area. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 24 911 24 911 In controlling general pests like desert locust We thank the reviewer for the information. etc. lots of pesticides are used in a vast area However, no reference is provided with high effects on general biodiversity including pollinators. Effects on birds and other animals are high, usually they have committees under FAO and so the important matter of pollinators must be taken into consideration in this. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 24 919 24 919 I worked on this issue during the past decade The great variation among countries in regulation in a global level and what I found is that is highlighted in the text "proper registration of pesticides and their regulations is a myth in most developing countries, in many of them still different types of pesticide mafias exists, the scary situation is that for example in Iran in the past there were pesticide importations most from West with some scientific cooperation but now from China and lately after lots of communications with China I found that they are scared to communicate scientifically. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 24 925 24 925 And the outcome is finding lots of unregulated We thank the reviewer for this feedback. pesticide residues in food of these countries. For example a list of 12 dangerous insecticides that were found to be higher than MRL were given to me about 4 years ago and finally I was stopped ... and am not following the work. UK Government 6 24 Table 24 Table Table 6.2.2: Is this Table really telling us The treatment of risks has changed in this section. 6.2.2 6.2.2 anything useful about trends and areas of the The tables are replaced by some text, with links to world we should focus on? Too subjective to relevant sections of the report. judge? Christopher 6 24 There is no health impact assessment listed and Health impacts are indirect (decline in nutritional Golden I would be in favor of seeing one. quality of human diets). We did not feel there was enough evidence to analyse the risks for indirect impacts. Health impacts are indirect. We did not feel there was anything like enough evidence to analyse the risks. Les Davies 6 24 349 353 Table 6.2.2: There appears to be very little The treatment of risks has changed in this section. evidence of a fall in honey production in The tables are replaced by some text, with links to Europe overall relevant sections of the report. Check chapter 3 Les Davies 6 25 354 355 Fall in honey production etc - societal factors This does not seem to require a change. Check (= social/behavioural) - ageing of apiarists - chapter 3 limited income source - production moving from eg. Western to Eastern Europe -move from honey collection to greater emphasis on provision of pollinator services. Marina Rosales 6 25 354 25 355 Table 6.2.3. I recomend include in main Pollinator parasites and pathogens do appear in Benites de drivers of loss of wild pollinator diversity: Table 6.2.4, for two of the impacts (decline in wild Franco pollinator disease 2.4.1 and loss of wild fruit yields and fall in honey production), but not pollinator diversity 2.5.4. for loss of wild pollinator diversity. Experts were asked to select the most important drivers for each impact separately. I think this is correct. Disease is suspected to be driving declines in some species, but there is not strong evidence linking it directly to loss of wild pollinator diversity. This was not selected by the authors as one of the main drivers. Noa Simon 6 25 354 25 355 Table 6.2.3 Main drivers for fall in honey This table reports the drivers that the authors most Delso production (and other hive products) – to be frequently selected as the most important drivers, included – Land management, Changes in land not a list of all possible drivers. This is made clear cover and spacial configuration and Climate in a new Table legend. change – All these drivers have an impact on nectar, honeydew, propolis and pollen availability in the surroundings of the pollinators, impact being either and increase or a decrease of production capacity. Noa Simon 6 25 354 25 355 Table 6.2.3. Reduced availability of managed This table reports the drivers that the authors most Delso pollinators “and increase honeybee disorders” frequently selected as the most important drivers, (the last part to be added” - Main drivers not a list of all possible drivers. This is made clear include as well Changes in land cover and in a new Table legend. spacial configuration (as shown by Simon- Delso et al., 2014) and Land management. Climate change may also affect the availability of managed pollinators by affecting the availability of food resources in the surroundings of the location of these pollinators, ex. Availability of nectar resources reduced by troughs in souther mediterranean countries, modification of the pollen profile and availability before the winter in the northern european countries and a lack of adaptation of pollinators to these changes. More information can be provided under request. Peter Campbell 6 25 354 25 355 Again in table 6.2.3 this should be labelled as a As we don’t have clear quantitative evidence on Conceptual analysis. Is it not possible to rank the relative importance of these different drivers, these drivers? As I suspect whils there may be ranking is not possible. This approach, of listing 3-4 possible main drivers, the potential the drivers considered to be most important by the contribution between each driver may vary wide author team for each impact, is the closest we quite significantly eg "Loss of Wild Pollinator can get to ranking without giving a misleading Diversity " I suspect the opnions would be that impression of certainty. "Changes in land cover and spatial configuration" and "land management" is likely to be a more impactful driver than pesticide use. This ranking would then help prioritize which remedial actions will offer the greatest impact for improvement. Serena Heckler 6 25 354 25 355 A discussion of how decisions are made about These issues are covered in chapter 5. which responses make most sense is missing. For instance, collaborative, bottom-up, endogenous, participatory, human rights-based or biocultural approaches to identifying which kinds of responses most effectively meet the requirements in each case at each level. The disempowerment of indigenous peoples and local communities has, in many cases, prevented them from applying their management techniques--including technical, economic or social behavioural responses-- innovating to meet new challenges, etc. This should be identified as an important driver of some of the key risks highlighted in Table 6.2.3. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 25 936 25 936 According to my comprehensive work during We thank the reviewer for this feedback. The great the past decade with many talks and variation among countries in regulation is presentations in Iran and nearby countries highlighted in the text (Turkey, Dubai etc.) I convinced that one of the worst situations for pesticide registration and generally talking regulations are worst in Middle Eastern countries (please see my paper in the proceedings of 10th, 12th ...of different Iranian congresses of toxicology titled: "Bridging the gap between North and South for pesticide regulations..." "Pesticide regulations in developing countries" Ahmad Mahdavi 6 25 942 25 942 Please also see my resume (in English), during Not sure what is asked for. past decades I ahve been actively involved in cooperation with many different pesticide/ chemicals regulatory agencies like EPA, different PAN sections, PMRA, ECHA, REACH for this important issue and considering the worst situation that I found in Middle Eastern countries I am trying to concentrate on that, I am preparing a comprehensive paper to be published in EU Tox. (I already talked to professor Aristidis head of the EU Tox soc. during our recent (13th) International Iranian congress of toxicology help in Oroumyeh, Iran, and also a paper in the ESA (Entomological soc of America) that I am a member. I strongly believe on EU REACH now and am in contact with REACH and ECAH regarding REACH implications for developing countries. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 25 961 25 961 Then you can imagine what is the situation in Yes, and labelling is also brought forward as an developing countries. Labeling is a very important tool by the assessment. important issue that could improve misuse/ unregulated use of pesticides in developing countries. I think EU REACH & OECD can help a lot for all these pesticide/ chemicals regulatory problems in developing countries. UK Government 6 25 Table 25 Table Not clear why pollinator parasites and This table reports the drivers that the authors most 6.2.3 6.2.3 pathogens are not drivers of the crop frequently selected as the most important drivers, pollination deficit, yeild instability etc too. not a list of all possible drivers. This is made clear Particularly they are relevant to the availablitiy in a new Table legend. of managed pollinators and the wild pollinator diversity. UK Government 6 25 Table 25 Table It seems very odd to have pesticides as a main This table reports the drivers that the authors most 6.2.3 6.2.3 driver for "reduced availability of managed frequently selected as the most important drivers, pollinators" when recent evidence is not a list of all possible drivers. This is made clear suggesting managed pollinators are more in a new Table legend. Pesticides were also robust to these than wild ones. And pathogens selected as a main driver for loss of wild pollinator and parasites arent even mentioned in this box diversity. This specific issue probably comes about because the managed pollinators are less susceptible than wild pollinator to broader land use change and land management, as they are usually fed over winter for example. Claire Kremen 6 26 372 380 Please work on the clarity of this paragraph. Thanks we have made this change as suggested. This could also be written more concisely, giving the reader what they really need to know. Arguably you could combine this paragraph and the next one, shortening it to something like: For our action based typology, we adapted the MEA model (MEA 2011), including their technological, legal, economic and social/behavioral categories, and modifying their cognitive category to one that included not only research and indigenous and traditional knwoledge, but also education and awareness-raising (see definitions in Box x). Our definitions were informed also by the NEA and FAO reports. In Table 6.3.1., we provide a cross-walk between the FAO categories (Rose et al. 2014) the the typology used here. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 26 975 26 975 For many developing countries specially We thank the reviewer for this feedback. The great Middle Eastern countries there are no correct, variation among countries in regulation is scientifically safe relationships with these very highlighted in the text important conventions and the big problem is: For example in many Middle Eastern countries: these conventions only accept and play with governmental agents and usually most knowledgeable scientists in these countries are free and not governmental related. Thomas Steeger 6 26 369 26 369 by "actors" do you mean "stakeholders"? If so, The term actors here are not the same as consider using the term "stakeholders" since it stakeholders. It specifically refers to the people or is used in other chapters. groups who would be acting, in the case of each action. 'Stakeholders' covers any person or group who has an interest in the outcomes. The term actors here are not the same as stakeholders. It specifically refers to the people or groups who would be acting, in the case of each action. 'Stakeholders' covers any person or group who has an interest in the outcomes. Thomas Steeger 6 26 372 26 375 the paragraph states that the MEA model was This paragraph has been revised. This paragraph used because it is clear and understandable and will be revised. then goes on to say that one of the categories used in the model (i.e., "cognitive") is unclear and difficult to understand. By substituting another category (i.e., knowledge), it's uncertain whether the MEI is now a suitable application since the model may not have been "tested/validated" against the substituted category. Claire Kremen 6 27 390 391 I think that you really mean that there is not sentence deleted. much scientific documentation of management systems -- it is therefore a "knowledge gap" rather than "less good". In fact it would be very desirable to also have scientific assessment not only of specific management actions but also of systems (i.e. multiscalar type of work) Claire Kremen 6 27 391 395 work on writing and clarity here. done German 6 27 407 27 407 Instead of using the term "punish bad We considered, but find the proposed wording far Government practices" you could consider using the term less clear. economic disincentives for ['bad'/'unsustainable'] practices. Ahmad Mahdavi 6 27 999 27 999 As I see and understand this text is more about We thank the reviewer for this feedback. The great situation in developed world and we need more variation among countries in regulation is information about the situation in developing highlighted in the text countries where most pollinator species (and also people population) are. in most developing countries there are no such regulations to cover biodiversity including bees. Thomas Steeger 6 34 586 34 586 consider "More recently, there are going this sentence does not have to be a new paragraph. studies to identify crop flower traits (e.g., Thanks for this suggested change of wording. It is brighter colors, increased scent, increased an improvement and we have adopted it. this nectar) . . ." sentence does not have to be a new paragraph. Thomas Steeger 6 34 598 35 601 rephrase ". . .and diversity within and around Thanks for this suggested change of wording. It is crops, and for evaluation of crop pollination an improvement and we have adopted it. deficits." German 6 35 608 35 608 We strongly request the authors to consider Thank you for your suggestion but we have chosen Government deleting chapter 6.4.1.1.11 as "switching from not to accept it because switching to less pollinator dependent to non-dependent crops" here is dependent or independent crops is a hugely seen in a purely economic sense and doesn't important topic because is an adaptive technique to take natural systems into acccount. If seen in a maintain yields in the wake of pollinator decline. more holistic dimension this issue is not central for IPBES because the aim of the pollinator assessment is to strengthen pollinators and their services. Therefore, this bullet is not considered constructive in this assessment.

Rebecca 6 35 608 35 624 This is not exactly "strengthening pollination Thank you for your suggestion, we have Chaplin-Kramer services" which is what is stated in p 29 L 425 considered this as the focus of this section. It is true this could be an adaptive technique to maintain yields in the wake of pollinator decline, but the beginning of 6.4 needs to be reframed in that light rather than in terms of pollinator services if that is the goal Maria Jose Suso 6 35 612 35 613 Please add: There are conceptual criticisms Thank you for your comments and references. We that call into question the overall suitability of agree with your general view (i.e., the concerns this strategy, independence of pollinators by about this strategy), which is actually included in self-fertility and increased selfing. Three different sections of this chapter and now concerns, in regards to the independence of the particularly highlighted in the first paragraph of the pollinators approach may rise. It ignores that 1) new version ("As the global agriculture is diversity based - on the heterogeneity of becoming increasingly pollinator-dependent (see genotypes and on heterozygosity within a Chapter 3), an option to remove all the risk cultivar contributes to higher and more stable associated with biotic pollination is switching from yields (e.g. Link et al., 1994) (Link, W, D. dependent to non-dependent crop, but which can Stelling and E. Ebmeyer, 1994. Factors reduce overall crop genetic diversity, thus determining the performance of synthetics in increasing potential vulnerability to pests and Vicia faba L. 1. Heterogeneity, heterozygosity, pathogens (see section 6.7.1). "). The example with and degree of cross-fertilization. Euphytica 75: Mimulus guttatus is very interesting but we 77–84) , 2) the transition from outcrossing to preferred to avoid it because this is not a crop high levels of self-fertilization may be species. accompanied by the evolution towards plants with lower pollinator attraction and altered morphology, which might reinforce pollinator declines (Fishman and Willis 2008). (Fishman L, Willis JH (2008) Pollen limitation and natural selection on floral characters in the yellow monkeyflower, Mimulus guttatus. New Phytol 177:802-810) and 3) From Maalouf et al. (2008) and Suso and Río (2015), in faba bean, it appears that breeding strategies which use and encourage open-pollinated conditions, with pollinator visitors and appropriate flowering patterns, result in cultivars with more yield and resilience than breeding strategies for independence of pollinators. The lack of adequate pollination is responsible of the poor results in breeding strategies and in developing cultivars. Maalouf et al. (2008) (Maalouf F, Ahmed KS, Munzir K et al (2008) The effect of mating system for developing combined resistance to chocolate spot and Ascochyta blight in faba bean. In: Prohens J, Badenes ML (eds.), Modern Variety Breeding for Present and Future Needs. Proceedings of the 18th Eucarpia General Congress. Universidad Politécnica de Valencia, Valencia, Spain, p 416) showed that, in faba bean, developing cultivars under open-pollination conditions (with local pollinators present) results in lower disease severity and higher number of resistant lines for chocolate spot and Ascochyta blight when compared to exclusion of pollinators (selfing conditions). Suso and Río ( 2015) (Suso MJ, Río R (2015) A crop-pollinator inter-play approach to assessing seed production patterns in faba bean under two pollination environments. Euphytica 201: 231-251) developing cultivars under evolutionary breeding scheme showed that pollinators are crucial for achieving higher seeds per plant, main predictor of crop yield. The end should be embedding the cultivar in the agroecosystem by developing pollinator- friendly cultivars and a self-sustaining win-win strategy, for crop-pollinators-and farmer. Thus, the proposed breeding strategy is to combine highly self-fertile genotypes which respond optimally to the presence of pollinators to produce high-yielding cultivars. Thus, the presence of pollinators allows the exploitation of heterosis potential, in hybrids or heterotic populations, but in absence of pollinators a minimum yield is achieved (Suso et al. 1996. Reproductive biology of Vicia faba: role of pollination conditions. Field Crops Research 46: 81–91; Nadal et al. 2003. Management of Vicia faba genetic resources: changes associated to the selfing process in the major, equina and minor groups. Genet Resour Crop Evol 50:183–192) Claire Kremen 6 36 631 636 "Regional farm diversity…" This sentence isn't Thank you for your comment, we accepted your really making sense and doesn't seem suggestion connected to pollinator issues. Next sentence is also very general and not related to pollination issues specifically. Here you could make a stronger case in general for how managing for a diverse pollinator community will buffer pollinator/pollination responses to climate change. More pollinator species means having species that respond differentially to climate, both btw years, btw seasons, and even within the day. Relevant papers include: Brittain, C., Kremen, C. & Klein, A.-M. (2013) Biodiversity buffers pollination from changes in environmental conditions. Global Change Biology, 19, 540–547; Klein, A.M., Mueller, C.M., Hoehn, P. & Kremen, C. (2009) Understanding the role of species richness for pollination services. Biodiversity, Ecosystem Functioning, and Human Wellbeing: An Ecological and Economic Perspective (eds D. Bunker, A. Hector, M. Loreau, C. Perrings & S. Naeem), pp. 195–208. Oxford University Press, Oxford and Rader, R., Reilly, J., Bartomeus, I. & Winfree, R. (2013) Native bees buffer the negative impact of climate warming on honey bee pollination of watermelon crops. Global change biology, 19, 3103–10. Denise Matias 6 36 637 36 647 How about citing the EU proposal (Regulation This material is covered in a different section No. 485/2013) in restricting the use of three (6.4.2.2). We have included a cross reference. pesticides clothianidin, imidacloprid, thiametoxam? USA 6 72 1525 72 1528 Much of my career has been spent in biological "...biocontrol, e.g. entomopathogenic fungi against government control, and I have a fair amount of experience Varroa mites (REF)....""...biocontrol, e.g. in research on biocontrol of Varroa mites (I entomopathogenic fungi against Varroa mites have also published a number of papers on (REF)...."Given the issues with this example Small Hive Beetle). I find the selection of this (which several reviewers picked up on) we have particular example of "biological control" to be changed this section and greatly de-emphasized curious and not particularly helpful, since, as this example. We have included biological control the author pointed out, this is not a treatment examples for some specific parasites and that solves an exisiting problem in a hive, nor pathogens, including Varroa, in the revised and has that approach been found effective. A expanded treatment section. This includes the number of research groups have worked on citation you mentioned. developing biological control of Varroa mites - Varroa mites are without a doubt the single most important pest of honey bees worldwide (small hive beetles are far less of a global problem and indeed seem to be important only in certain locations, like the SE U.S.). In addition, the authors implies that introduction of these nematodes might be problematic. Actually, that might be a problem for "classical" biocontrol in which a natural enemy from the pest's native range is introduced, but there are other kinds of biocontrol (for example, augmentative biocontrol in which a native natural enemy is introduced at much higher levels than they naturally occur) that do not involve release of non-native organisms. I recently wrote a review of the Varroa biocontrol efforts in which we dealt with these issues; here is the citation: Meikle, W.G., et al. 2012. Challenges for developing biopesticides against Varroa destructor (Mesostigmata: Varroidae). Apidologie 43(5): 501-514. DOI: 10.1007/s13592-012-0118-0. I have attached a copy. Of course I am not suggesting you cite that, but it has citations for lots of biocontrol papers that you might consider. Scott Black 6 72 1529 72 1533 What is the basis of the statement that infection We have clarified this statement such that prevention as it relates to rearing facilities is "speculative" relates specifically to particular speculative? It is unclear as I read it what is infection prevention management techniques in speculative. Certainly there are tradeoffs for rearing facilities:"There is a high level of secrecy the industry, but this is about improving and protection of intellectual property in pollinator health, right? I suspect that there are commercial bumble bee rearing operations, and rearing practices that could greatly reduce the thus any particular rearing facility practices pathogen prevalence in commercially available focused on disease prevention remain speculative" bumble bees and other pollinators. There are plenty of studies that show higher infection rates in commercial bumble bees. Several examples below: Murray, T. E., M. F. Coffey, E. Kehoe, and F. G. Horgan. 2013. Pathogen prevalence in commercially reared bumble bees and evidence of spillover in conspecific populations. Biological conservation 159:269– 276.Otterstatter, M. C., and J. D. Thomson. 2008. Does pathogen spillover from commercially reared bumble bees threaten wild pollinators? PloS one 3:e2771.Sachman-Ruiz, B., V. Narváez-Padilla, and E. Reynaud. 2015. Commercial Bombus impatiens as reservoirs of emerging infectious diseases in central México. Biological invasions:1–11. Springer International Publishing.Colla, S. R., M. C. Otterstatter, R. J. Gegear, and J. D. Thomson. 2006. Plight of the bumble bee: pathogen spillover from commercial to wild populations. Biological conservation 129:461–467. Marie-Pierre 6 72 1534 72 1535 Varroa destructor is a major threat to Varroa is given much more attention throughout Chauzat honeybees. It should be better emphasised. the expansion of, and revisions to, this section Noa Simon 6 72 1534 72 1537 Swarming is a natural way of the colonies swarming management is now included as a Delso resulting in a reduction of pathogen and method of Varroa control in the Varroa treatment pathogen preasure, among others because it section, specifically under cultural/management involves a broodless period within the colony. practices for Varroa control There are also combinations of beekeeping practices and acaricides available with excelent efficacy. The objective is to achieve a period of time in which there is no capped brood in the colony, moment in which a treatment for example with oxalic acide can be done. In this moment, all varroas are either on the combs or on the bees, maximizing the exposure to the acaricide. There are a wide variety of options to achieve the broodless period like directly removing the frames with capped cels, or forcing the queen to lay eggs in specific frames that will be removed after 21-24 days (e.g. Queen cages, supper underneath the brood chamber with a queen excluder, etc.).

USA 6 72 1534 72 1535 Some of the work on development of "...such as plant compounds, organic acids and government biopesticides against Varroa mites could also biopesticides to manage Varroa be mentioned here. Also, work has been done destructor...""...such as plant compounds, organic with plant compounds and organic acids, acids and biopesticides to manage Varroa which are only "acaricides" in the broad sense. destructor..."this section has been greatly expanded Chemical acaricides, which is what is implied and now included specific mention of organic here, have many issues of honey and wax acids and essential oils, as well as biological contamination, pest resistance, effects on bee control of Varroa health, and other issues (please see the review cited above). Chemical acaricides have been the main approach for close to 30 years and have not yielded any long-term or even medium-term solution. Marie-Pierre 6 72 1536 72 1537 There is no consensus on the RNAi excellent point and in the three places where RNAi Chauzat technology: costs-benefit should be better technology is now covered (treatment of viruses, assessed before promoting the thechnique. Nosema, and Varroa) we have included a statement about the lack of information on risks and costs of RNAi technology USA 6 72 1536 72 1537 Please bear in mind that the beekeeping We now make this point clearer in the three places government community has been assured now for several where RNAi technology is now covered (treatment years about the "strong" potential of RNAi of viruses, Nosema, and Varroa) technology against Varroa mites but no commercial products have been forthcoming. Marie-Pierre 6 73 1545 73 1545 Alaux et al. Transposing laboratory results to We have now added text to the end of this section Chauzat conclusions at colony level should be taken reading: "More field-scale trials of supporting with care. social immune mechanisms would assist pollinator managers and policy makers in evaluating their implementation." Marie-Pierre 6 73 1554 73 1556 Treatment rotations and combinations are It is unclear what the reviewer is suggesting here Chauzat already advised and performed in the field. and the type of comment is "no action", thus we have not changed the text here Marie-Pierre 6 73 1559 73 1559 you may consider addding the following Martin, S. J., A. C. Highfield, L. Brettell, E. M. Chauzat reference Villalobos, G. E. Budge, M. Powell, S. Nikaido, and D. C. Schroeder. 2012. Global honey bee viral landscape altered by a parasitic mite. Science 336:1304-1306.Martin, S. J., A. C. Highfield, L. Brettell, E. M. Villalobos, G. E. Budge, M. Powell, S. Nikaido, and D. C. Schroeder. 2012. Global honey bee viral landscape altered by a parasitic mite. Science 336:1304-1306.Martin et al. did not explicitly assess virulence in their study and as such we would prefer to leave this reference out Noa Simon 6 73 1617 73 1631 Endosymbiotic microorganisms are also We have added mention of the effects of gut Delso essential for the production of bee bread and microbiota on nutrient availability, citing the nutrient availability. Here a fragment of the Anderson paper (ref #73 in the paper you mention) publication of Simon-Delso et al. 2014: “[...] Fungicides may have an impact on the colony by modifying the existing microflora present in the food stores or in the bee intestinal tract [71]. Studies have already shown the possible modification of microbial composition both at beebread level [62,72] and at intestinal level [73]. This modification in the composition of microbiota may lead to dysbiosis [74]. The impact that such an unbalance in the bee gut microflora may have on bee health has already been considered. The link between the unspecific symptoms observed in our study and a possible microbial alteration could be subject of further research. In parallel, the potential impact of microbial modification on digestibility and availability of nutrients should be a target for further research. Indeed, the content of essential amino acids might be altered when beebread is contaminated with fungicides (DeGrandi-Hoffman, 2013, pers com.). Given the importance of nutrition, especially pollen, in the good development of the colony [75] alterations in composition or lack of essential nutrients would put the homeostasis of the colony at stake. Some studies have already shown the impact of nutritional lack on bee development and health [76]. Provided that pollen is the unique source of amino acids for honeybees, royal jelly production could also be affected [77,78] with unexpected potential consequences for its main consumers, larvae and the queen.”

Thomas Steeger 6 73 1558 73 1560 inset reference to support statement we have added a reference (Alizon et al. 2009) to support the statement about virulence evolution in a range of host-parasite systems Marie-Pierre 6 77 1696 77 1696 you may consider mentionning OIE and EU EU and UK legislation mentioned Chauzat legislation on trade Marie-Pierre 6 77 1704 77 1704 you may consider addding the following Valerio da Silva. The first report of Aethina tumida Chauzat reference in the European Union, Portugal in 2004. Bee world Valerio da Silva. The first report of Aethina tumida in the European Union, Portugal in 2004. Bee world the reference does not provide concrete evidence on this point and so we have not included it Thomas Steeger 6 77 1699 77 1700 rephrase ". . .registratio of managed bee colony We are concerned that adding "locations" could locations, . . ." cause confusion and so we have left this as-is Thomas Steeger 6 78 1736 78 1739 rephrase ". . .which were bred at Buckfast much improved phrasing, thank you for the Abbey in an isolated, treeless moor lacking suggestion honey bee nesting habitat in the UK and thus allowing. . ." Thomas Steeger 6 79 1744 79 1745 rephrase "In addition, to our knowledge, there done is no evidence . . .of market-building responses." Marie-Pierre 6 80 1784 80 1784 you may consider addding the following Chauzat et al. 2014. EPILOBEEE A Pan-European Chauzat reference epidemiological study on honeybee colony losses 2012-2013. Report 32p. Laurent et al. 2015. EPILOBEEE A Pan-European epidemiological study on honeybee colony losses 2012-2014. Report 44pChauzat et al. 2014. EPILOBEEE A Pan-European epidemiological study on honeybee colony losses 2012-2013. Report 32p. Laurent et al. 2015. EPILOBEEE A Pan-European epidemiological study on honeybee colony losses 2012-2014. Report 44pWe noted that the references we included here were "for example" using "e.g." and we would prefer to cite more easily-accessible peer reviewed papers rather than reports when possible Thomas Steeger 6 80 1776 80 1776 insert URLfor NTFP-PRM or provide a done reference