Man:Restarted 30 Day Challenge Challenge #1

MAN:RESTARTED 30 DAY CHALLENGE

CHALLENGE #1 RELATIONSHIPS

The intention of this month’s challenge is to reinvigorate your relationships through developing an understanding of the Man:Restarted relationship practices.

The challenge draws inspiration from the RESTART your Relationship topics from the forthcoming book, MAN:RESTARTED.

• The importance of Emotional Intelligence in both partners

• Triumphing over boys’ psychology

• The importance of equals

• Building your Erotic Intelligence

A few tips to get you started;

• Be creative; of course use this 30-Day Challenge as a base but use the suggestions to inspire your creativity in creating moments, conversations and occasions that are relevant to your relationship.

• Be patient; if you’re in a relationship rut (hopefully not an abyss!) you may see some reluctance or push back against your newfound enthusiasm. Be honest and take your time. Talk to each other and do it from the heart. No accusations, just the truth about your commitment to find that spark again.

• Remember the things you did when you first started dating; the flirting, the effort, the little things that you did to impress. Start doing them again. Don’t get lazy and take your loved one for granted.

© MAN:RESTARTED 2017 All information and suggestions provided are of an educational nature and do not constitute formal counseling advice. Please seek professional relationship counseling if your personal situation warrants it.

• To reignite your passion for each other, you must appreciate that no matter how well you think you know each other there is always something to learn. Find the fascination you once had with each other, the way that once you looked at each other with a sense of mystery.

• Take into account what is going on in each other’s lives. Work pressures? Illness? Kids? Body image worries? Showing support for each other when times are tough will make your bond stronger and allow for the fun times to flow once again.

• Understand the difference between intimacy and eroticism. Knowing each other intimately can strangely enjoying an erotic life together a challenge. Check out this YouTube clip where sexual therapist Esther Perel talks about the challenge of passion in a long term relationship https://youtu.be/Ik2aaVLutlg?list=PL39918POh7DooG07dkO_7Hwz2GkeJJhnv *Be sure to fast forward the 2 mins of introduction music!

• Have fun. Yes relationships are serious business but if you can make your month of challenge focused on having fun together, enjoying each other’s company, looking upon each other with fascination and reconnecting with each other erotically, you will hopefully find a renewed love for each other.

• Commit yourselves to a 1 x two hour period every week where there is no technology, no kids, no work talk and no talk of kids. Pour a glass of wine, find somewhere comfy and talk. Look into each other’s eyes and talk. Re-connect with each other and talk. Laugh. Cry and talk.

• Kiss each other goodbye every morning, kiss each other hello every afternoon and kiss each other good night every night.

• To celebrate the end of the challenge and your newly rediscovered routine, book a night away. Get out of the house and into a new place where you can enjoy each other with no distractions.

The challenge is broken up into activities that will help you learn more about each other, support each other and reconnect emotionally and physically together.

Day one is when you can organise the activities into whatever order suits your lifestyle and commitments. It’s absolutely vital to do something every single day. You owe it to yourselves and your relationship to do so.

Best of luck, have fun and enjoy the next 30 days.

Day 1. Talk Day 2. Learn

Take the time to sit down with your Go to www.5lovelanguages.com/profile partner and read through this challenge and complete the quiz. together. What works? What doesn’t? What can be substituted in or adjusted This quiz provides an insight into how slightly? each of you wants to receive love. It’s a really beneficial task to do, as you can Lock in Date Nights, babysitters and most understand each other on a deeper level. importantly, your romantic overnight getaway. Day 3. Share Day 4. Subscribe

Make dinner together, put on some Open up a new email account that you music and enjoy each other’s company. both can access. Subscribe to the following; To make the experience more unique, prepare a dish that neither of you know https://www.estherperel.com/blog how to cook. http://www.jacquelinehellyer.com

By learning something together, you can As you sign up, read through some of the create a shared experience to previous blog posts that are available on remember. these websites. Discuss topics that you find intriguing.

Day 5. Notes Day 6. Redesign

Leave a note for each other about Set up your bedroom for what it is something that you learnt during Day 4’s intended; sleep and fun! activity. Building expectation and anticipation is a way to break down the Declutter, tidy up, remove photos of the boredom of everyday life and recapture kids (and in-laws!), adjust the lighting, some of the excitement of your early new sheets, etc. days together. Maybe add a few candles (and don’t go to sleep with them lit) and see what other fires can be lit!

Day 7. Exercise Day 8. Messages

Go for a walk together. Getting moving is Text a compliment or heartfelt message essential in having great mental health to her every day. and feeling good about yourself. Try to do it at least three times a week.

Day 9. Appreciate and Support Day 10. Date Night

Feeling overwhelmed and possibly On Day 1 you locked in time for your first underappreciated is an issue that raises opportunity to head out for dinner. its ugly head in most relationships. Take the time to sit down and plan out all of Try somewhere different, not the one the tasks that need to be done every you go to with the kids or the one that week. Freeing up each other’s time one of you loves and the other tolerates. means that you can enjoy more of the fun times together as well as allow Look for recommendations from friends yourself time for life’s essentials (like or online reviews (Dimmi, TripAdvisor) exercising, socializing and time alone).

Day 11. Surprise Day 12. Learn

Using the results that you discovered Being emotionally intelligent is after doing the 5 Love Languages test, recognised as a means to supercharging surprise your partner with something your relationship as well as minimising that they would value. conflict. Watch the Ted Talk on Emotional Intelligence in Relationships here; https://youtu.be/Cz30-LEWaXQ

Day 13. Money Smart Day 14. Erotic intelligence

Money causes stress in even the Being erotically intelligent allows you to strongest relationships so lock in a date understand why desire waxes and wanes night to look over the financial during a long-term relationship. You also management advice provided by the begin to understand the role that Barefoot Investor. knowing each other intimately plays in declining physical contact. One way to Buy or borrow the book, or head to develop your erotic intelligence is to https://barefootinvestor.com/barefoot- improve your shared knowledge of steps/step-1-schedule-date-nights/ eroticism. For a summary of Scott Pape’s plan to reorganise your finances. Make some time to read a blog ‘Expanding Your Sexual Play’ by Jacqueline Hellyer together. Take *Information provided by the Barefoot Investor is general in nature and does not take into consideration your personal particular note of the comments financial situation. It is for educational purposes only and regarding Erotic Talk. Give it a go and see does not constitute formal financial advice. Remember, the value of any investment can go down as well as up. Before what evolves. acting, you should consider seeking independent personal http://disq.us/t/2s1kbma financial advice that is tailored to your needs*

Pick up a copy of Esther Perel’s ‘Mating in Captivity’ to further your knowledge.

Day 15. Cleanse Day 16. Get Outdoors

Take a bath or shower together to Go wine tasting or have a picnic. Get into celebrate the ½ way mark of this the great outdoors together. Breathe in challenge! the fresh air and enjoy each other’s company.

Day 17. Massages Day 18. Listen

Time for massages! If you’re an There’s some fantastic podcasts available inexperienced masseuse, check out this that focus on relationships and romance. YouTube clip that gives you all the ‘good Consider the following to download and oil’. listen individually or together;

Tim Ferriss’ interview with Esther Perel https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/241-relationship- episode-sex-love-polyamory- marriage/id863897795?i=1000385667509&mt=2 MoFo, We Need to Talk https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/ep-23-emily- morse/id1001028269?i=1000354647526&mt=2

https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/ep-29-craig-cooper-pt- 2/id1001028269?i=1000357698941&mt=2

Day 19. Netflix and Chill Day 20. Plan

Watch a movie together. Grab a bottle of You’re 10 days away from your overnight wine and, as the American’s say getaway that celebrates the completion ‘Netflix and Chill’ of your 30-day challenge. Time to build some anticipation. As a couple, plan out (Google it if you don’t know what that your time away together, don’t waste refers to!) time of sight seeing (other than seeing each other). Turn up the romance dial to 10 and use the knowledge that you have learnt together thus far to plan a red-hot night away.

Day 21. Learn Day 22. Spoil her

Steve Horsmon is an American Spoil her. Celebrate the wonderful relationship expert. Check out his video woman in your life by cooking her collection on YouTube, especially his favorite meal, running her a bath and brief talk on ‘Help her feel sexy again’. pouring her a wine. Sexy times are at her discretion (after all, it’s all about her)

Day 23. Conflict Resolution Day 24. Playtime Build a fort in the lounge room using All couples have disagreements yet many blankets, sheets, doonas and whatever are able to The Family Peace Foundation else you have handy. has some great insight Now you have a ready made ‘love shelter! Do what comes naturally!

Day 25. Lose the Technology in Bed Day 26. Erotic Talk

Smart phones have become such an In preparation for your getaway it’s time invasive part of our lives that being for an Erotic Talk session. Discuss your connected can disconnect us from the time together and your favorite sexy ones we love. times. What do you love doing together Make a commitment to have a phone and what do you want to re-live in four tablet and technology free zone in the days time! boudoir.

Day 27. Learn Day 28. Read and Act

Read this blog that is based upon the Read this article together from theories of Dr. Arne Rubenstein about www.fatherly.com; Embrace the quickie. boy’s psychology. What boy’s psychology https://www.fatherly.com/love-and-money/why-more- are you holding onto? How can you leave parents-need-to-embrace-the-quickie/ it behind? What benefits will leaving behind the actions and emotions of your Read and act upon it! boyhood self bring to your relationship?

Day 29. Review Day 30. Celebrate

Review your month of challenges. What Overnight romantic getaway! has worked for you both? What hasn’t? What can you lock in now that will Celebrate your relationship and become a habit? How can you ‘boredom celebrate each other by spending proof’ your relationship? What have you precious time alone together. Leave all learnt about each other? the worries, anxieties and ‘mundaneness’ of everyday life behind and rediscover your passion for each other.

These 30 challenges are designed to help you both appreciate each other more and celebrate your relationship often. The important thing is that you find what works for you and what helps you both to rediscover each other. Don’t rest on your laurels once you’ve completed this challenge. Implement the activities that you have both enjoyed into your daily lives. Talk, listen, learn, connect, and be passionate with each other.

And don’t forget;

“Husbands should never stop romancing their wives and wives should never stop flirting with their husbands”.