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Serving communities along the Biscayne Corridor: Arch Creek East, Aventura, Bay Point, Bayside, Biscayne Park, Belle Meade, Buena Vista, Design District, Downtown, Eastern Shores, Edgewater, El Portal, Hibiscus Island, Keystone Point, Miami Shores, Morningside, North Bay Island, North Miami, North Miami Beach, Oakland Grove, Palm Grove, Palm Island, Sans Souci, Shorecrest, Star Island, Wynwood, and Venetian Islands www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Volume 8, Issue 3 As the Market Turns How our search for a fi rst home in post-housing- bubble Miami became a soap opera

By Gaspar González Inside Photos by Silvia Ros

t began with a knock on the door. It coming around at that time of night, I our landlord. I thanked her for coming mortgage on our apartment. In every was around ten o’clock on a typical made my way to the door. I had barely out, took the packet, and closed the door. other way, it made perfect sense. This Iweekday evening and my wife, Lane, opened it before a woman thrust a thick The news was surprising only was June 2009 and the housing bubble and I were sprawled out on the couch packet of paperwork at me and informed insofar as Lane and I had always made had begun to implode a year and a half in our Miami Shores apartment, watch- us that Bank of America would soon be our monthly rent payment, which we ing TV. Curious that anyone would be bringing foreclosure proceedings against assumed was being used to cover the Continued on page 14

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May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 3 Contents COVER STORY 1 As the Market Turns COMMENTARY 6 Feedback: Letters 10 Miami’s King: Jack King 12 Word on the Street OUR SPONSORS 33 8 BizBuzz NEIGHBORHOOD CORRESPONDENTS 24 Jen Karetnick: Teachers in the Crosshairs 26 Frank Rollason: Trust Our County Commissioners! PO Box 370566, Miami, FL 33137 www.biscaynetimes.com 28 Wendy Doscher-Smith: Working Girls PUBLISHER & EDITOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES 30 Gaspar González: Uncivil War Marc Ruehle COMMUNITY NEWS Jim Mullin [email protected] [email protected] 32 One Big House, Many Different Lives Nancy Newhart 33 Surging Supermarkets INTERNS [email protected] 34 Mandy Baca In Miami Shores, It’s Nix on Flicks BUSINESS Manager 36 Five Big Ideas for the MiMo District [email protected] Ileana Cohen 38 Mr. Mayor, Tell Them to Be Quiet CONTRIBUTORS [email protected] 40 Another Neighborhood, Another Mutiny Victor Barrenchea, Erik Bojnansky, Art director POLICE REPORTS 44 Pamela Robin Brandt, Terence Marcy Mock 42 Biscayne Crime Beat Cantarella, Bill Citara, Karen-Janine [email protected] ART & CULTURE Cohen, Wendy Doscher-Smith, Kathy Advertising design 44 Anne Tschida: The Future Is Here Glasgow, Gaspar Gonzaléz, Margaret DP Designs 46 [email protected] Art Listings 56 Griffis, Jim W. Harper, Lisa Hartman, 49 Events Calendar Jen Karetnick, Jack King, Cathi Marro, CIRCULATION PARK PATROL South Florida Distributors Derek McCann, Jenni Person, 50 Jim W. Harper: Courts, Cats, and the Creeps Frank Rollason, Silvia Ros, Jeff PRINTING COLUMNISTS Stuart Web, Inc. Shimonski, Anne Tschida 52 Kids and the City: Mother’s Little Helpers www.stuartweb.com 53 Your Garden: After the Chill, a Colorful Thrill 54 Vino: California’s Deficits Are Your Benefits F oR AdVERTISING INFORMATION CALL 305-756-6200 55 Harper’s Environment: You’ll Love Offshore Oil All articles, photos, and artwork in the Biscayne Times 56 Pawsitively Pets: Your Little Bundles of Joy are copyrighted by Biscayne Media, LLC. Any duplication or Member of the DINING GUIDE reprinting without authorized written consent from the publisher Florida Press Association 59 Restaurant Listings: 226 Biscayne Corridor is prohibited. Restaurants!

4 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 5 Commentary: Feedback Letters to the Editor The View from My Desk off on a bicycle that was left outdoors, Many thanks for Erik Bojnansky’s excel- and having a few things stolen out of my lent article on the decay of the Little car when I forgot to lock it. But those Farm Trailer Park (“From Lovely to crimes occur in every neighborhood, and Lousy to Lost,” April 2009). I am living quite frankly, they were my own fault. next to the trailer park in an apartment Frank Rollason’s need to be armed building. I agree with the author’s main when doing yard work seems quite arguments on why the trailer park suf- extreme to me, but his home is much fers. However, one point is not sufficient- closer to Biscayne Boulevard than mine. ly emphasized. Maybe he only sees dog-walkers around With my German perspective, I his home, but further east there are have to say that the primary reason for people out walking, bicycling, jogging, problems in the trailer park is anti-social and pushing strollers all the time. behavior by — importantly — very few Wade Hallock claims he’s never residents of that community. Every day I even seen a police car patrolling his am bombarded by a barrage of incredibly street, NE 6th Court. Could that be vulgar, obscene, and aggressive noise. because an eight-foot hedge surrounds The atmosphere this creates within that his entire yard, with the exception of his community can only be one of insecurity. driveway — and even that has no view What surprises me as a European of the street? is how apathetically the community Deborah Gray Mitchell accepts its fate. So many neighbors are Belle Meade immensely disturbed in their peace, yet do nothing. The police, who according Reporter As Skateboard to the article patrol the area regularly, do Expert? No. Editor As nothing either. What’s necessary is a community Skateboard Expert? No. leader to step in and pull the neighbor- Resulting Story Dumb As hood together, against the anti-social Dirt? elements. If this unlikely event should Before Biscayne Times published Erik not occur, it is up to the police to call Bojnansky’s article “Skateboards and the few culprits to order. Otherwise the Synagogues Are Like Oil and Water” community will further spiral downward, (January 2010), did anyone with any with effects that will reach far outside actual knowledge of skateboarding look the trailer park. it over? Murat Altuglu Someone with knowledge would Miami know about Miami being one of the premier cities for skateboarding in the We Once Had Burglar Bars U.S., and yet it remains the only major in Belle Meade, but No city without a public skatepark. Will Erik face the reality that Longer Miami is an urban environment, and one Although Brandon Dane’s article on thing that is consistent with all urban en- crime in Belle Meade makes some vironments is the use of concrete. Sorry, very good points (“Living With Crime Erik. If you want fields of green and — Eternally,” April 2009), I strongly swaying trees, move to the country. disagree with the perception that Please take the time to research Belle Meade has become increasingly other cities with a thriving skateboard dangerous. community, places like Seattle, Port- Having lived in Belle Meade for 20 land, or Philadelphia. Each of those years, I feel perfectly comfortable and cities has space for skateboarders to safe on my corner (except for the fear practice their beloved sport. Miami is of being run over by the speeding Belle far behind. Sure, we can go play volley- Meade Islanders, who refuse to stop at ball on South Beach, or a pickup game the four-way stops on NE 76th Street). of baseball at any of the large city parks. When we bought our house in 1989, But where is a person supposed to go it was covered in bars, but over the years and skateboard? we installed a security system and grad- Jeff Suarez ually removed them. I’ve experienced Miami some petty theft such as someone riding Continued on page 58

6 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 7 Our Sponsors BizBuzz: May 2010 Sales, special events, and more from the people who make Biscayne Times possible By Pamela Robin Brandt A&A Village Treasures Budget Blinds Dancewear Searching for a summer camp BT Contributor for sixth through ninth graders who aren’t the average purely out- t the Royal Bavarian Schnit- doorsy types? Try the Archbishop zel Haus (1085 NE 79th St.), Curley Notre Dame High School Achef/owner Alex Richter goes Summer Academy (305-751-8367), all out for special occasions — includ- which offers not only a preview ing Mother’s Day, when an extravagant high school sports program but brunch, served indoors or in the outdoor enrichment activities ranging from biergarten, will be offered from noon on. Ascot Teak performing arts to chess. For reservations call 305-754-8002. An historic 18-hole champion- “Mother’s Day is every day” at reproduction ship golf course and driving range. Nine Herval USA’s two locations (2666 NE furniture. Now tennis courts. A clubhouse and a lounge/ 189th St., 305-466-2626; 1730 Biscayne Mr. Stembridge is grill with a new bistro menu. Happy hour Blvd., 305-377-1221). To prove it, the really selling it. All with two-buck beers. A fabulous Sunday renowned contemporary furniture show- prices have been brunch. Even a camp for the kids. If that rooms (and new BT advertisers) are of- reduced up to 70%. sounds like perfect summer fun, you need fering a 10% discount to customers who Naturally to visit the Miami Shores Country Club utter that magic phrase, any day in May. it helps to have (10000 Biscayne Blvd., 305-795-2360). It’s April was certainly an unforgettable a home for that new furniture. Lawyer To marshal the now open to the public. opening month for Amado Mesa and An- Jake Miller (12550 Biscayne Blvd., 8th strength needed to For stay-at-home vacationers, All thony Kylor of A&A Village Treasures floor), whose free “save your home” even read about the Appliance MD Florida Pool & Spa Center (11720 Bis- (9702 NE 2nd. Ave., 305-759-1612), start- seminars continue on May 6 and May 11, numerous great coupon deals offered cayne Blvd., 305-893-4036) carries the very ing when one of our nationally notorious has good news for financially troubled through August by Bagels & Company best brands to make your relaxation dreams motorists drove through their new Miami homeowners: “Finally both the banks (11064 Biscayne Blvd., 305-892-2435), come true. They provide maintenance too. Shores shop’s front window. But no and government announced in April you might need to fortify yourself with Attention, MDs: You will under- worries. The new BT advertiser’s stock they’ll be forgiving mortgage princi- a dozen bagels. Or for eat-in custom- stand the high-tech products offered by of unique vintage home furnishings and pal for some underwater homeowners ers, the free entrées (with purchase of new advertiser Techno-Derm (1071 NE accessories is unharmed and ready for who qualify.” To find out if you qualify, same). Please, just consult the ad. We’re 79th St., 305-392-0697) better than we gifting mom — or yourself. reserve seats at 305-758-2020. exhausted. do. But we couldn’t help noticing on the By the way, if you haven’t vis- That calls for a celebration! Fortu- Farther south along the Corridor, website (techno-derm.com) infrared de- ited Miami Shores lately, you may be nately Anise Waterfront Taverna (620 the MiMo Historic District continues vices that “burn calories at the speed of surprised at the sleepy enclave’s recent NE 78th St., 305-758-2929) is now open to grow. 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Suzanne Lawson Design, Dinin Partners solved by new advertiser Statements art, healthy lifestyles, and good food. Actually, the greater Biscayne Cor- Law Firm, and Leiter Art Gallery. (2118 NE 123rd St., 305-893-7559), where The fun starts at 4:00 p.m. ridor continues to grow as a whole-globe Since new advertiser Gloribel the fine ladies’ line is a specialty. As a special welcome to BT readers, dining route, if new advertisers like Gonzalez took over GG Salon and Spa Looking hot is a good thing. Feeling new advertiser Budget Blinds (9101 NW Acquolina (124 S. Federal Hwy., Hallan- (9063 Biscayne Blvd., 305-759-9710), hot because your A/C isn’t up to par: not 7th Ave., 305-772-5660), which offers the dale; 954-454-2410) are any indication. she see regulars who are returning every so good. Warm beer is a bummer, too. So ultimate in personalized window treat- Right. That’s in the wild north, Broward week. Why? See for yourself any Tues- Appliance MD (954-921-2306) has two ments, has a very generous offer: 30% County. But no need to bring survival day through Thursday this month, when pre-summer special offers. For your hard- off all treatments purchased during May. gear to this family-style Italian hot spot. Gonzalez offers 20% off any service to working A/C unit, a coil and maintenance Great décor deals are also avail- Just a huge appetite will do. new clients who mention the BT. overhaul cleaning, plus condenser check able this month at the annual yard sale Welcome, too, to Fuji Hana (2775 Bathing suit weather is approach- and lubricant, for $195. And for your of Ascot Furniture (12951 Biscayne NE 187th St.; 305-932-8080), new toe ing fast. But all is not lost. Just the refrigerator, a condenser coil cleaning Blvd., 305-892-2131). One-of-a-kind plus the BT as an advertiser but a longtime excess flab will be if you shape up at and maintenance cooling check for only scratch-and-dent teak benches, table, “best kept secret” Thai/sushi spot for Moti Horenstein’s Mixed Martial $69.95. At that price you can afford to chairs, and more will be on sale Saturday Aventura residents. Arts and Universal Dance Studios invite the whole BT crew over for icy-cold and Sunday only, May 22 and 23. Remember the new Yogen Früz (18425 NE 19th Ave., 305-935-1855), brewskis. (Thanks! Don’t mind if we do.) Since 1953, new advertiser John outlet opening (14881 Biscayne Blvd.) which is offering a free introductory Stembridge Furniture (545 NE 125th scheduled for last month? April fool! It’s class of any kind, for all ages. Addition- Something special coming up at your St.; 305-893-0800) has been selling both now rescheduled for May 8. Expect free ally, two-week dance or martial arts business? Send info to bizbuzz@bis- contemporary and traditional/antique giveaways, and yogurt specials. intro programs are just $29.95. caynetimes.com. For BT advertisers only.

8 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 9 Commentary: Miami’s King For Sale: One U.S. Senate Seat, Best Offer! Thanks to the Tanned One, we can expect an invasion of white guys with cash By Jack King Florida, not giving a damn about gears. Early polling showed that such BT Contributor local politics. a move would make the race a three- In 2004 all that changed. way dead heat with Democrat Kendrick he Silly Season is upon us again, The presidential election was Meek and ultra conservative poster boy and this year it has arrived several hanging in the balance and the Marco Rubio. Leader of a new gen- Tmonths early. For those of you Republicans flooded Florida eration of Cuban politicians, Rubio has who don’t remember my earlier rants with every political operative shown he will do anything for money about the Silly Season, here’s a quick they could find, twisting the and power. recap. It’s the season in which local poli- election in their direction. All this is bringing out the Republi- ticians boast about all the good things For many years the state can glitterati. They fear they might lose they’re doing for your benefit, and then had been run by conservatives this senate seat (which they now hold) quickly leave town for North Carolina from northern Florida, but over and Republicans can ill afford to let until September. time they began to lose influence that happen. So this fall you can expect People running for office in the fall to South Florida as our power to see more Republican carpetbaggers often do the same thing, only they make base shifted from middle-of-the- invade Florida than at any time since promises they know they can never keep road Democrats to the burgeon- 1875. The list is long and not varied — — if you’ll just vote for them — and then ing population of Cuban exiles. they’re all wealthy white guys who talk leave town for North Carolina. What The Cubans knew all about alike. The list looks like this: South they all do up there is beyond me. I’ve politics, and took advantage of Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint, Virginia Rep. never been invited to the party. their numbers. Eric Cantor, former Massachusetts gov- Normally the Silly Season doesn’t It was a costly change. The ernor Mitt Romney; former Arkansas start this early. It usually begins in June, Cuban political machine sold governor Mike Huckabee, and former soon after schools let out for the summer. its exile votes to the Republican New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani. This year, though, the action has begun Party in exchange for a hard Then we have the Tea Party Express more than a month early. It’s going fast line against Fidel Castro. The and FreedomWorks, off-the-wall groups and furious — and for good reason. Local- Republicans were happy to oblige, If Charlie Crist runs as an independent, with more money than members. Both ly both the county and the City of Miami but Florida gained nothing in the the carpetbaggers will descend on us. are based in Washington, D.C., and are flat broke. The less our commissioners deal. It has solidly been that way for both have endorsed Rubio. Believe me, stick around, the less chance they’ll catch more than a decade. they’re leaving him in droves. the list will get longer, especially if the blame for the mess. Moreover, just about This symbiotic relationship embold- The more they leave him, the more senate race stays close. everything political is in play, and a whole ened conservative Republicans to treat he finds ways to aggravate them. His last My question is this: As Floridians, bunch of out-of-towners are very keen on Florida not only as a piggy bank, but as great move was to veto a Republican-spon- do we want to turn the leadership of our being here to rig the game. their own personal vote-generator. This sored bill that tied teachers’ pay to student state over to a mob of carpetbaggers? Traditionally Florida has been a year will be a litmus test to see if it the performance without regard to where Of course, every election has out- donor state in politics, meaning that the arrangement still holds. And it should the teachers were working or under what side influences, but this year may really people of Florida, many of whom hail still hold, but Charlie Crist has thrown a circumstances. Crist lost so much conser- get crazy, particularly if the out-of-town- from other states and nations, have polit- monkey wrench into the works. vative support that he’s been considering a ers think they can swoop in and just buy ical interests in those places. They spend Crist was a shoo-in for the U.S. run for the senate seat as an independent. everything. It’s happened before and it money back home to support candidates Senate seat left vacant by the resignation (As the BT was going to press, Crist made could happen again — if you let it. they like. For some it’s been a nice deal. of Republican Mel Martinez, but some- his decision. He’ll run as an independent.) The locals sent their money out of town, how over the past two years, he managed Crist as an independent would and out-of-towners never bothered with to piss off all the conservatives, and now throw another monkey wrench into the Feedback: [email protected]

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May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 11 C o m m e n t a r y : W o r d o n t h e S t r e e t What do you want to be when you grow up? Compiled by Cathi Marro – BT Contributor

Julissa Palma Jahfari Parris Iris Cirinese Julio C. Marion Dollar Armando Tate Palacio Marketing Director Street Salesman/Student Manager Sales DJ/Fashion Consultant Student Downtown North Miami Beach Miami Shores North Miami Morningside Miami I personally want to be a I want to be a lot of things. At peace. I had a son in A better human being. I’ve been working in the An astronaut. You can’t mom. This may not seem Artist. Entrepreneur. Ball Iraq. Thank God he’s alive This is not related to music industry on and off give them shit because like a big dream career- player. I’m multitalented and back home, but he’s some material possession. for 15 years. Music is my they are smarter than wise, but it’s my goal. I and my talents shape my got a lot of recovering to It’s more about working passion. I wish I could everybody and more grew up with a wonderful career. As a kid I wanted do. I’d like to stop seeing internally. I think I’m on make a 100-percent living courageous than anybody mom and I kind of always to be involved in sports. I our kids get killed. A lot of the right path. When I at it, but for now I am also except firemen — they wanted to be her. The played ball in high school this has to do with video was younger, I wanted to working in fashion until are pretty courageous main thing for me has and I’m good enough games they play. I see it be a soccer player. I did my DJ career takes off. too. I’ve only wanted to always been family: Be to play overseas if I get in my own grandchildren. that for a while but then I’m working toward get- be an astronaut for about a mom, a good wife, and that opportunity. Right We’re afraid to let them I changed careers. This ting more gigs and touring. five minutes. Before that I all that good stuff. I am now I’ve got to get things outside to play anymore life is too short to reach You never know! I want wanted to be a pirate. But engaged to be married this organized financially, then without total supervision. my goal. There are a lot of to be more involved in the after seeing Pirates of the year, so I’m on my way, hopefully my art will open We used to go out and ride things to do. We have to music industry and fulfill Caribbean 3 (that movie but I don’t want to have doors to all these dreams our bikes and be safe. change individually. my dreams. was just awful), I don’t kids too soon! I have. want to be that anymore.

12 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 13 Cover Story

our friends, and most BT readers, would been altered for this article), encouraged I looked, it was being offered at short Market consider edge neighborhoods — mostly us to jump on it, as who knew how much sale for $130,000.) Continued from page 1 safe, fairly quiet, but a little ragged, and it would be worth, oh, five minutes from For our latest adventure in home- certainly short of the middle-class story- now! The best part, though, was when he buying, we decided to work through a earlier. We suspected our landlord, a book ideal. asked what we intended to do with it. Realtor again. Lane suggested Chelsea young woman who had been inspired One house we went to “Do with it?” I said. “You Marker. She had met Chelsea at one of by rising home values to acquire a real see was in unincorpo- know, the usual: Hire those street fairs the Shores holds once a estate license and begin collecting rated Miami-Dade, a truck to bring our year or so. Chelsea, smartly dressed, had “investment properties,” was probably directly across the The agent belongings over, been at a booth, handing out business feeling the pinch. Now we knew just street from Barry decide where our cards and telling everyone what a great how much. University. That encouraged bedroom is going time it was to buy. She was confident, The foreclosure notice came at a was about the to go, plug in the chipper, and, as she was quick to say, bad time for Lane and me, as we were only thing it us to jump on it, coffeemaker, knew the area better than anyone. Lane three months pregnant with our first had going for as who knew how that sort of liked her. I had no opinion either way. child. Nevertheless we’d already been it. The house thing.” We decided to go with Chelsea. It was thinking about venturing out into the real was a two bed- much the house He looked the first plot point in what would become estate market. Our lease was going to be room, one bath would be worth, at me incredu- our house-hunting soap opera. up in January, and it seemed like a good about the size lously. “You’re We began to suspect we might be idea to get out there and start looking of a shoebox, oh, five minutes going to live in in over our heads with Chelsea almost for a more permanent place. We knew but not as charm- it?” he asked. immediately. For our initial expedition, we would soon need more room, house ing. And it needed a from now! I assured him she picked us up and drove over to El prices had already come down signifi- considerable amount of we were. He didn’t Portal, one of the three areas we told her cantly, and then there was that $8000 tax work. The asking price was believe me. we liked and thought we could afford — credit for first-time homebuyers that our $280,000, or about what my in-laws That was an eye-opener. The Miami Shores and Biscayne Park being new president had championed. would soon be getting for their five bed- market was so out of whack that people the other two. Turning on 88th Street, This wouldn’t be our virgin voyage room, three bath colonial on an acre of couldn’t imagine anyone actually Chelsea began gesturing to houses she into the market. Lane and I had looked at land at the foot of the Blue Ridge Moun- moving in. Every house was a stucco had previously sold, some as many as houses in late 2006. Given the over- tains in Virginia. flapjack, waiting to be flipped. That’s two or three times. “I remember the first heated state of things then, and the fact The agent who showed us the house, when we opted to sit out what was left time I sold that one,” she’d say. “They that neither one of us is a trust-funder, a veteran area Realtor named Everett of the bubble. (The house that Everett we considered houses in what most of Russell (the identities of all Realtors have showed us sold for around $250,000. Last Continued on page 15

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Owners simply couldn’t accept In our price range — around into offering $216,000. Market that the modest homes they had paid $230,000 — we could either overpay for The seller and his Realtor came Continued from page 14 $450,000 for (or more) only a few years a too-small house with fancy frills or back with a counteroffer of $218,000. earlier were now worth maybe half that buy a larger home into which we would They were looking to do business. Chel- were a nice couple. Last year I sold it to much — and dropping. Not that owners have to sink more money just to render sea encouraged us to sign the contract. an architect.” hadn’t done their best to trick them out. it habitable. It was hardly an appealing At this point I should probably It was hard to escape the observa- No matter how small the house, marble choice. Where was this “buyer’s market” stress that my wife and I are not unso- tion that Chelsea, like most Realtors, countertops and stainless-steel appli- we’d heard so much about? phisticated people. We both have Ph.D.s. had made a killing on the bubble, selling ances in the kitchen were de rigueur. We kept looking for several more We read The New York Times and The the same houses over and over again, Bathrooms looked like they had come weeks, with little success. Finally Chel- Wall Street Journal. We watch the each time for more and more money. straight from IKEA. And there were sea showed us a house in Biscayne Park nightly news. What we had never done Now a lot of those homes sat empty. A strategic flourishes — the swing on the that was pretty close to what we had is try to buy a house. And as we discov- lot of others were teetering on the edge porch, the koi pond in the back yard. All envisioned. It was a 1940s two bedroom, ered, nothing prepares you for buying a of foreclosure. But Chelsea was still out very charming, but not as useful as an two bath with a Florida room and a house except buying a house. there, making her commissions, like extra closet, and certainly not worth an converted garage, perfect for a library or We’d always heard that the contract nothing had changed. (The only con- extra $30,000. home office. It had hardwood floors and between a buyer and seller was essential- stant in Miami’s topsy-turvy real estate As we discovered, these faux lots of windows. The bathrooms were ly a baseline agreement. Once a contract market, it would become apparent, is that dollhouses were at one end of the spec- close to original, but they were in good was signed, there would be a period of Realtors always come out ahead, like trum. On the other end were the “pink shape. And the house, as is common in discovery. A home inspection would former Soviet officials turned ruling- elephants,” as I dubbed them: sprawling Biscayne Park, sat on a big lot. The kids reveal more information about the house class capitalists.) fixer-uppers with leaky roofs, creaky would have room to run. — a leak in the roof, a problem with the That first outing, Chelsea showed floors, and cracked windows. These were The asking price was $248,000. plumbing — allowing the potential buyer us five or six homes around El Portal the true avatars of the bubble. You got That was too much, we thought, but a to either walk away from the deal or go and Miami Shores. Each was roughly the feeling they had been flipped three or reasonable offer at least might get the back to the seller and ask for the repair what we had said we wanted — an older four times without anybody ever coming conversation started. We went to Chelsea (or renegotiate the price). house, nothing fancy, two bedrooms, out to look at them. Size was their only and told her we wanted to offer $212,000. In this instance, however, the seller maybe two baths, and an extra room we asset, but even that was deceiving, as She blanched. “That’s not enough,” had insisted on an “As Is” contract, mean- could use as an office. The only problem they had been expanded in ways that she said. “You want them to take you ing the condition of the house was what it was that every house we saw was, in our didn’t always make sense. One house re- seriously.” (This, I later found out, was was; he wasn’t willing to make repairs. To estimation, overpriced by $25,000 to quired that you walk through the garage Chelsea’s variation on the stock “You $30,000. to get to a third bedroom. don’t want to insult them.”) She talked us Continued on page 16

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 15 over tory Powered by C S 0U[YVK\JPUN[OL *HYK

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Market A friend referred us to a guy who Continued from page 15 had done thousands of home inspections in South Florida, and had a reputation for us, the very idea of an “As Is” contract for being exceedingly thorough. He was also a home seemed odd. For a used car, okay, refreshingly candid. “I’m not too popular .VPUNV\[KVLZU»[OH]L[VIYLHR[OLIHUR maybe. But for a house? Chelsea assured with real estate agents,” he told us, “be- NL[[OL+>5;>59*HYKHUKZ[HY[ us this was standard, or at least standard cause I tend to throw a wrench into the enough that we shouldn’t be dissuaded deal.” Then he laughed, adding, “But you ZH]PUNH[VULVMV\YULPNOIVYOVVK from pursuing the deal. And it didn’t know what? When real estate agents are YLZ[H\YHU[ZYPNO[H^H` mean, she reminded us, that the house looking to buy a house for themselves, wouldn’t be subject to a home I’m the guy they call.” inspection. To us, though, My inspector would it sounded like we We uncover quite a few were already play- had never worrisome areas. He ing defense. Buyer wasn’t crazy about beware, indeed. tried to buy a the central A/C .L[`V\Y+>5;>59*HYK[VKH` In anticipa- unit. There was *HSS +>5;>5VY]PZP[ tion of the all- house. And as we termite damage important next to the attic. The ^^^P+6P[+>5;>5JVT[VHWWS` step, Chelsea discovered, nothing storm awnings offered us a list prepares you for didn’t func- of inspectors tion properly she had used buying a house and would need in the past. Our to be replaced. antennae went up except buying Some windows were again. We were new- a house. defective. There was bies at house-buying, but water intrusion in the letting our Realtor choose utility room. These weren’t our home inspector didn’t seem like the deal-breakers, but all would require way to go. Realtors make money by sell- money to fix. ing houses. It stands to reason that they Lane and I still wanted the house. gravitate toward those home inspectors We just wanted to get it for less. We who generally make it easier for them to made a date to meet with Chelsea at the A Program Of www.iDOitDWNTWN.com sell those houses. Lane and I told Chel- Starbucks on NE 2nd Avenue to discuss sea we’d get our own inspector. Continued on page 17

16 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 over tory C S Powered by

Market she would have looked at me and said, 0U[YVK\JPUN[OL Continued from page 16 “You need a new roof? I know a guy who can do that for $100. It takes him maybe our options. Over a cup of coffee, I slid 20 minutes.” a copy of the inspector’s report across Ever since we had signed the offer *HYK the table to her. She flipped through it, sheet, Lane and I felt like a twister had barely bothering to read it. “Okay, so scooped us up and would soon deposit :H]LVU[HZ[`[LTW[H[PVUZH[[OLZL+V^U[V^U4PHTP there are some issues. When aren’t there us on the doorstep of a house we had issues?” she asked. only walked though a few times, with a MH]VYP[LZ^P[O[OLUL^+>5;>59*HYK “Yes,” I told her, “but given that laundry list of repairs in hand and a 30- it’s going to take quite a bit of money to year mortgage to our names. Part of our remedy these things, aren’t we in a posi- anxiety was due to the fact that we had tion to go back to the seller never before bought property. and ask for a slightly We Dealing with Chelsea better deal, especially didn’t make things in this market?” weren’t any better. Over Chelsea and over again, we shook her head. interested, but the got the distinct She had bought impression that and renovated Realtor pressed: “In her loyalty lots of houses, this price range, things wasn’t to us so she told us, much as to the and these re- are getting crazy. sale — and her pairs wouldn’t three-percent come to much Buyers are pulling commission. money at all. For up with bags of (Each Realtor in a the next 20 minutes, transaction typically she proceeded to go money.” receives three percent through our list and ex- of the sale price. Where plain, essentially, that every- one Realtor represents both thing could be done for a song — and in sides, he or she gets six percent.) virtually no time. You need a new door? To Chelsea, we were the unreason- I know where you can get one for 20 able ones. Lane and I decided to walk bucks. Takes five minutes to hang. You away from the contract. We didn’t think need a new window? They give those we should be making all the concessions away. Frankly, I think if I had told Chel- ;HRLHUPIISLNYHIHIP[LVYJSLHU[OL sea that the house was missing its roof, Continued on page 18 ^OVSLWSH[LMVYHSV[SLZZ^OLU `V\\ZL`V\Y+>5;>59*HYK 0M`V\SP]L^VYRVYWSH`PU +V^U[V^UP[»ZHT\Z[ OH]LHJJLZZVY`

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May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 17 Cover Story

Market was known to do things like re-list the Continued from page 17 same house, to make it appear that it had just hit the market. Stories of big spend- when house prices were continuing to ers snapping up homes like so many drop, and by this point we’d had enough Monopoly properties seemed to come of Chelsea. We’d go out and look at naturally to Drake. houses on our own, without a Realtor. Leaving Drake in front of his The next Saturday, we hit a couple elephant, we drove to another house for of places in the Shores. One of them sale, this one in Biscayne Park, on the was a mess of a pink elephant — dark railroad tracks. The place, low-ceilinged and labyrinthine, with leaks galore. The and cramped, wasn’t much to begin with, elderly woman who owned it had used and there was the matter of the train it as an ATM machine, taking out home rumbling through the backyard five or equity loans for many times the value six times a day. “You’ll get used to it,” of the house. Now she was looking for the Realtor assured us. “Yeah,” I told someone to bail her out. The asking price him, “that’s what they say about prison.” was a lot more than anybody in his or her He smiled. (They all smile.) right mind would pay. In our attempt at solo house hunt- Outside the house, we encountered ing, we did come across one home we the listing agent, Drake Leonard, another liked, a well-maintained, architecturally prominent member of the Upper Eastside enhanced two bedroom, two bath on the Realtor brigade. “Are you interested?” he far western edge of Miami Shores. The asked. Not at all, we told him. “Why not?” list price was $249,000. The agent was a he pressed. “In this price range, things are stylish woman named Tiffany Safire. getting crazy. Buyers are pulling up with We called on Tiffany at her office bags of money.” To hear Drake tell it, it and explained the difficulties we’d been was the cocaine 1980s all over again. having. We were careful not to mention And it was all hype. We had already Chelsea by name. Tiffany smiled and heard though the grapevine that Drake Continued on page 19

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18 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Cover Story

Market equity, and is now looking to maybe Continued from page 18 retire to a condo. Certainly we never saw many. Foreclosures and short sales give leaned back in her chair. “Do you know the illusion of an inventory of available the difference between a real estate homes, but those houses are in limbo; license and a voter registration card?” make an offer and wait six months to see she asked, in a way that suggested she if the bank will take it. DannyDanny had posed the question before. No, we In this fractured landscape, Real- told her. Her eyes lit up. “Not everybody tors wield a lot of power. They know has a voter registration card,” she said, what houses are for sale before anybody crinkling her nose like a cat. else does, they decide who’s going to see There was already an offer on the them, and they have a disproportionate house, but she’d help us find another say in setting prices (not to mention a one. All we had to do was agree to deal vested interest in keeping them high). For Gokey exclusively through her. Otherwise, she Realtors, in more ways than one, every Gokey said, she would just be wasting her time day is a “home game.” on us. She didn’t put a client contract in Exhausted from our dealings with front of us — for that matter, neither had Chelsea, Drake, and Tiffany — and close Chelsea — but the message was becom- to disgusted with the whole enterprise of American Idol ing increasingly clear: If you’re looking trying to buy anything at all — we de- Finalist for a house in a particular neighborhood, cided to revisit the house we had recently especially one in a lower price range, had under contract in Biscayne Park. It you have to do business with the Realtors was a good house on a quiet street, our who control that territory. inspector had given it solid marks over- The cards are stacked in their favor. all, and truth be told, we hadn’t seen any- In post-bubble Miami, it’s hard to find thing better in our price range. Surprise: traditional sales, in which the owner It was still available. (Hell, nearly every bought the house at a reasonable price house we’d looked at was still available.) once upon a time, lived in it, built up Continued on page 20

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May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 19 Cover Story

Market the first one, came back at $210,000. Continued from page 19 Appraisals are based on comparable sales (comps) made within a certain time Out of a sense of fairness — or period in the same neighborhood as the maybe it was Stockholm Syndrome — house in question. So in this instance, the we called Chelsea. She was, after all, the appraiser was looking at similar homes one who had shown us the house. She that had sold recently in Biscayne Park. and the seller’s Realtor drew up a new But that’s what he had done the first agreement for $230,000 (the previously time, so why the $20,000 difference in agreed-upon sale price of $218,000 plus appraised value? The answer: Enough an extra $12,000 folded into the deal to time had passed that the appraiser had to cover our closing costs and prepaids.) discard a couple of older comps, which Of course, there would be one last had been in the $225,000 to $230,000 twist to our soap opera. Our lender, range, and replace them with more recent which previously had received an ones. Unlike the older comps, the newer appraisal for the house of $230,000 ones were short sales. The banks had — meaning the sale could go forward let the houses go for less than they were — now wanted another appraisal. The worth, thereby suppressing the value of lender wasn’t worried about our credit; the surrounding properties. Lane and I had been preapproved for a I know what you’re thinking, much higher mortgage. No, the concern because initially we thought the same was the value of the house. After years thing: The invisible hand of the market of practically throwing loans at people so had finally dealt us an ace. The seller they could buy homes that weren’t worth would have to lower his asking price anything like what they were paying for — either that or find buyers who didn’t them, lenders were suddenly skittish mind paying more than the appraised about the housing market. Go figure. To value of the home, and had enough cash everyone’s surprise, the second apprais- al, completed barely three weeks after Continued on page 22

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Market world and was letting my wife know it. Continued from page 20 Just when things were looking bleak, the seller, who was trying to on hand that they wouldn’t need to take unload his house but who also turned out a mortgage to do it. Not likely. out to be a pretty good guy, made a Lane and I were going to be able to counteroffer. He’d settle for a little less purchase our home for less than we had than $210,000 as long as the Realtors anticipated. Sure, the seller took reduced commissions. was pissed — I would be Because they were prob- too, if short sales down Almost ably as tired of this the street were de- merry-go-round as pressing the value six months we were — and of the house I was later, Lane because two- trying to sell — and-a-half but his loss was and I are still percent of our gain, right? $210,000 is Not ex- recovering from our better than actly. The new three percent appraisal might experience. It was of nothing — force the seller harrowing from Chelsea and the to lower his price, seller’s Realtor but it also signaled beginning agreed. The com- trouble for Lane promise allowed us to and me, since we had to end. cover enough of our costs planned to cover some of our to make the deal work. We purchase-related expenses by folding closed the week before Thanksgiving. them into our mortgage. The too-close- Almost six months later, Lane and I to-the-bone appraisal meant we would are still recovering from our experience. have to cover those costs out of pocket. It was harrowing from beginning to end. And our pockets weren’t exactly loaded Then again, maybe buying a house in down with an extra $12,000. Miami always is. The sale was falling apart again. The good news is we really like The seller wouldn’t take a penny less than living in Biscayne Park. We’re on a great $210,000 for the house. There was no way street, the neighbors are friendly, and our Lane and I could front all of our closing house is coming along nicely. In fact, we costs. It was a stalemate. About the only can’t imagine ever moving again. one who seemed primed to get on with things was our unborn son, who would soon be making his appearance in the Feedback: [email protected]

22 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 23 Neighborhood Correspondents: Miami Shores Teachers in the Crosshairs In Florida, public education is under attack — relentlessly By Jen Karetnick I call it manipulation. Politicians BT Contributor would like the public to believe that higher education comes for free. Those s usual, I’ve been doing a lot of of us who paid good money to earn educating lately, but for once the degrees, and are still repaying loans, Asubject hasn’t been creative writ- don’t deserve the same starting salary as ing. This time I’ve been lecturing family, someone who didn’t? If we were looking friends — anyone unfortunate enough to for jobs in big business — the model on ask, really — about the recently vetoed which the government is trying to run Senate Bill 6, or as teachers like to call the school system — those with an MBA it, SB 666. would start at a higher salaries than those If you missed the brouhaha over this without one. bill, passed by the Florida Legislature but But we aren’t in big business, and eventually, after tens of thousands of e-mails it’s our interests in our fields that lead us and phone calls, vetoed by Gov. Charlie Crist, to advanced degrees. Frankly, I shudder allow me to briefly fill you in. to think of a Bachelor of Arts version SB 6 proposed that newly hired of myself teaching my classes. I learn public school teachers be contracted to something new about writing every day. a base salary, and then earn the rest of Twenty years and two masters degrees their wage — I’m sorry, incentive pay languages offered. shouldn’t take those into account either (so ago, I knew little more than my students. — based on their students’ test scores. It also stipulated that new hires be don’t bother completing that longed-for In SB 6, tenure would also be Needless to say these state-approved screened without thought or care for science doctorate). They call this “leveling abolished, and principals would have exams would have to be created for advanced degrees (who needs those the playing field,” and claim it will stop the ability to basically fire at will, based every single subject in every school, pretentious masters of arts anyway?) and teachers from getting masters degrees just from physical education to all the foreign that salary increases for existing teachers to keep their salaries on the upswing. Continued on page 25

24 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Neighborhood Correspondents: Miami Shores

Crosshairs some imaginary teachers from Miami becomes clinically depressed and leaves task on the best of days, but practice Continued from page 24 Shores’ own Doctors Charter School the field. good etiquette, too. I wonder if there’ll — because, yes, that’s a public school, Because SB 666 was vetoed, you be a test on that? not only on observations but also, again, though it’s run like a private one. So might think it’s pointless to write about Teacher complaints, protests, and on those test scores. No gains for Mr. Mrs. Smith’s honors class does well on its flaws, and its one or two good points. the virtual but eventual nonexistent Jones’s world geography students, no job the state biology exam? Bonus! And But we’d be naive if we thought another threat of a sick-out are what managed for Mr. Jones. she celebrates at a happy hour. Bad, bill won’t surface soon. The attack on to get SB 666 vetoed, and everyone The goal, of course, was to get bad bad Mrs. Smith. She’s nabbed leaving public education will continue. And yes, who wants to know where the state was teachers out of the school system, espe- Churchill’s and blew a .09. According it is an attack. The national trend seems going to find that $900 million to enact cially those who’ve been protected for to state law, once she’s been booked as to be to blame teachers for everything, it should thank us. too long. Admittedly there are a few in a DUI, she must be terminated. and not just failing grades. But Crist’s most loaded comment each school, hunched over their com- Let’s also consider Mrs. Pink. She Here’s an example from my own life. was that he barely heard any feedback puters playing solitaire or logged into teaches right next door to Mrs. Smith. When I see someone fooling around with from parents, either in support or defense Facebook when they should be chal- Her algebra students are not as gifted, a phone in my class, I take it away for of the bill. Parents who want to put their lenging their students with interesting and they collectively fail. Like Mrs. the day. Recently I did that to a student kids in Miami Shores Elementary School coursework. I’m all for getting rid of Smith, Mrs. Pink is a beloved and whose mother just happened to e-mail should start paying attention. He will tenure, which is one of the reasons I dedicated teacher. So much so that in the me complaining about his grades. I likely consider passing the very next bill never went down the college academic past she spent roughly $2000 of her own informed her that maybe he’d have more that comes up, good or bad, to appease road that most poets travel in the first money on supplies, given the limited success if he listened in class instead of those constituents he offended. Don’t place. That type of job security is ob- school budget. Now, because so much texting. She replied, “I really think the support a bill that makes us do your job solete, a lazy dinosaur that has some- money — $900 million! — went into teachers should take away all the cell on top of what is one of the emotionally how bred sloths. Let’s open up the field enacting SB 666 (never mind the enforc- phones at the beginning of class.” I didn’t toughest, stressful, and least monetarily to new talent in the good ol’ capitalist ing), she invests about twice the amount confiscate his phone, so it’s my fault he’s rewarding professions in Florida. Do American way — that is, if we haven’t just so she can have the necessary sup- using it? help us create a better system, in Miami scared it all away yet. plies. But Mrs. Pink, we’re happy to say, How about just teaching your kid Shores, greater Miami-Dade, and the rest It also might seem, initially, a has a very astute principal who recog- some manners and responsibility? Oh, I of Florida. good idea to reward teachers who do, nizes that her student population is not forgot. I’m his teacher. That means I have on the surface, an excellent job. Let’s going to get her any gains. He saves her to persuade him not just to write a sonnet put that to the proverbial test, using job. But Mrs. Pink’s morale is so low she and turn it in on time, a difficult enough Feedback: [email protected]

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 25 Neighborhood Correspondents: Belle Meade We Can Trust Our County Commissioners That’s right — we can trust them to do anything and everything to preserve their grip on power By Frank Rollason — is a full-time job and should be com- BT Contributor pensated accordingly. The fact that commissioners are ur county commission is feeling performing a “public service” should not pretty feisty these days, trying detract from the electorate’s obligation to Oto build support for a couple of fairly compensate those who perform the initiatives that could be placed on our public’s work. Certainly policy-making upcoming August ballot — at a time is every bit as important as administra- when many people will be out of town on tively carrying out those policies, a task vacation. (These strategically scheduled performed by the county’s vast labor items make the argument for signing force. Those employees are adequately up for the absentee-ballot program that compensated, and so should be the ensures you will receive a ballot at your elected officials. home instead of having to be in town and If commissioners’ jobs are full time, trek to the polls.) then it’s only fair that we should expect Here are the two issues: A long- them to give us all their time — meaning sought salary increase for commission- to be paid a full-time salary for a full- So what do the commissioners con- no outside employment (or self-employ- ers, and a move to strip away some of the time job. Presently they receive $6000 sider a full-time salary? They’re talking ment) of any sort while they’re in office. I powers of the county mayor and return annually along with various financial about something between $75,000 and don’t want to hear the hogwash that such a them to the commission. Let’s look at perks: car and cell phone allowances, $90,000, depending upon which com- restriction would infringe on their rights. them one at a time. health insurance, and of course their missioner’s plan is being considered. If they don’t like the requirements of the Salary Increase for Commis- seemingly bottomless reservoir of “dis- There should be no question that the job, then they shouldn’t seek the posi- sioners. The premise here is simple: cretionary re-election funds.” Oops! position of county commissioner — tion. An ironclad prohibition on outside Elected officials, Miami-Dade County I mean “discretionary funds for the presiding over a $7.4 billion operating Commissioners in particular, deserve welfare of their constituents.” budget and a sprawling bureaucracy Continued on page 27

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26 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Neighborhood Correspondents: Belle Meade

Trust commissioner will — until hell freezes by the commission to gain back control form of government, he said voters Continued from page 26 over — continue to be all-knowing on all of in-house administrative matters that should have one person to point to when subjects — always in the best interests of are best left to the mayor. Commissioner services are not going right, and that employment would go a long way toward all residents. Get a grip, commissioners. Barbara Jordan is behind this latest at- person should be the mayor. A major- giving voters the confidence they would You are no smarter than those you serve, tempt to weaken the strong-mayor form ity of us bought into that concept and need to get onboard with a big salary in- and the time comes for all in elective of government approved by the county approved the change. The fault I find in crease. It would also help eliminate many office to step down and allow others to voters in 2007. the current system is that Alvarez did not of those dastardly conflict-of-interest pick up the baton. It makes no sense to have a county eliminate the position of county man- issues that arise from time to time and The term-limits proposal by Com- manager who is appointed by the mayor ager. Instead he kept the manager and cause a commissioner to squirm in his missioner Bruno Barreiro for no more and approved by the commission, but just had him report to the mayor instead chair, trying to explain how an obvious than four consecutive terms of four years who reports directly to commission- of the commission. conflict is actually not a conflict. each (16 years!) suggests that he and his ers. For one thing, who is the manager’s In my opinion, the manager’s work The next hurdle to overcome will not proposal’s supporters have completely boss? Is it the commission or is it the should have been divided among as- likely be on a ballot any time soon. That is lost touch with reality. Here’s the reality mayor? This move would transfer back sistants hired by Alvarez (maybe deputy term limits. This is the issue that will not check: Voters are more than just discon- to the commission countless meddling mayors?), which would have placed die, right? The sitting commissioners argue tent with the local political process. They opportunities concerning day-to-day responsibility for the county’s daily that if the citizenry wants one of them off are disgusted by it. operations, from enormously lucrative operations exactly where it belongs — in the dais, they simply run a new candidate You can be sure that if Barreiro’s construction contracts to influence over the lap of the strong mayor. and they are voted off, and that is that. I plan ends up before voters, the language who is appointed director of this or that If the voters are not happy with the think we all know this is just not the case. will be such that the new term limits county department. mayor, they can vote him out of office. When was the last time an incumbent will only begin after the election. So if a The commission is the policy-mak- But assuming that wouldn’t happen to an was unseated? The year was 1994, when commissioner already has 8 years on the ing body of the county, not the opera- incumbent mayor until hell freezes over newcomer Katy Sorenson ousted Larry dais, he or she would be eligible for an- tions center for the delivery of services. again, at least the strong-mayor position Hawkins. That was 16 years ago! other 16 — for a grand total of 24 years Commissioners steer the boat. They do is term-limited — two four-year terms. So we are left with a system in spent “servicing” the public. Hell, even a not row the boat. This effort to reduce And there we are — full circle back which new faces are seen only when prize bull on a stud farm is retired before the mayor’s power is about meddling, to term limits. a seat becomes vacant and incumbent 24 years of service! plain and simple. county commissioners never lose. Then Stripping Power from the Mayor. When Mayor Carlos Alvarez threw we’re led to believe that the incumbent This is nothing more than a power grab his support behind the strong-mayor Feedback: [email protected]

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May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 27 NEIGHBORHOOD CORRESPONDENTS: MIAMI AT LARGE Working Girls Evidence of Miami’s economic recovery: Escort services are booming By Wendy Doscher-Smith four-inch platform Wrong! BT Contributor sandals, and a I dropped off Sasha at the groomer George Hamilton and, on my walk back to the cotel, con- o there I was, crouched in front of tan swooshed past sidered the sight I’d just witnessed. My the trash room directly in front of my us, she towering only conclusion: high-class hooker! Sapartment (smelly yet convenient!), over a bushy-haired I returned to the cotel. There was, straining to hear the conversation between 20-year-old (I’m as usual, a fuss in the lobby. This time two rather unlikely characters. They were guessing) white guy, there was another very tall woman in nearby, inside another apartment, and their who half-skipped to very high heels. No shorts here, but a door was ajar. What I heard sounded like keep up with her. Doscher-Smith BT photo by Wendy very tight skirt hugged her rear, holding a job interview. Could it be? A high-class- Both Sasha and on for dear life. She was shrieking at the hooker job interview? I whipped our heads concierge in both English and Span- True story: The other day, as I stood around to watch ish. Apparently, there was a missing cell waiting in a hoodie and jeans, with my them proceed down phone. Yawn. I thought: This woman borrowed-from-friend-so-I-don’t-die-of- the hall. They proceeded to the end of the hall, reminds me of Blonde Behemoth. I en- loneliness dog Sasha, one of the elevator Bushy Boy: “Yeah, Miami is differ- and as the door shut, I heard Bushy Boy tertained the thought that they might be doors in the Brickell cotel (condo/hotel) ent. You’re not from here, right?” croak, “So, what do you want to drink?” together or at least on similar missions. I currently call home went Bing! and Blonde Behemoth: “Oh, no. I’m from and then, following a half-lecherous, Nah. This one seemed like another self- rolled open. Out sauntered quite a sight, the Midwest. From Ohio.” half-expectant, 100-percent slimy laugh: proclaimed entitled tourist. even by Miami standards. Little girl meets big city. The “Well, this should be…” And the door As I walked down the hall to my Before I even saw her, I heard the movie cliché: Manhattan street corner. shut. apartment, I heard voices — their voices. words “Miami is a weird place…” fl oat Blonde, blue-eyed Midwesterner stum- Damn. Unfortunately Sasha was en Bushy Boy and Blonde Behemoth. I out of the elevator. bles out of a bus with cheap suitcase route to the groomer and, sadly, I fi gured heard them clearly because Bushy Boy Then a six-foot two-inch blonde, and big dreams. that would be the last I saw or heard pig-tailed woman wearing khaki shorts, Except not quite. from this odd duo. Continued on page 29

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28 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Neighborhood Correspondents: Miami at Large

Girls Ah, yes. That is so atypical, after Was that the What don’t you like was sunning itself in the valet. Wow! I Continued from page 28 all. I roll my eyes and hope it gets better. about the job? question? just walked into the eye of the Call Girl Then I realize: Oh, Christ. This is an Peeking out my peephole, I could see Convention storm. failed to shut the door. Ah ha! The doors interview! it wasn’t the Blonde Behemoth but rather A quick glance around the lobby on my floor of the cotel don’t always At this point I’m trying to decide another oversize ditz departing with revealed that the cotel staff was not click closed. if I should curse the fact that the wind Bushy Boy. Huh? How did they switch pleased. The security guard looked Now I could hear all the banter. I en- is howling in the hallway (a common so fast? In just minutes! Now I was pissed. The concierge woman was tertained the idea of listening outside the occurrence on the 28th floor) and that really interested. So I waited until they counting money by slapping bills on the door. But, no. That’s so crass. So beneath a maid is noisily pushing a cart, thus walked down the hallway, and I followed. counter and muttering under her breath. me. I continued walking, heard giggling, drowning out the audio on my “Opera- As we waited for the elevator, I I took a seat and exchanged raised and then this: “When men think I’m tion Know-a-Ho” spy mission. smiled at them. The woman looked right eyebrows with an amused nanny who going to do that…” The maid banged on their door. through me, obviously contemptuous, was pretending to push a stroller, oblivi- Wait a minute! I’m not beneath this. “Servicio?” and maybe confused. Overall, the look ous to the drooling child. A few adult No, sir. The door opened and the phrase, “I said: “Oh, I’m better than you, you poor, males in the lobby needed a nanny to Which brings us back to my consider myself smart,” wafted out, fol- short thing.” stop their own drooling. crouched position in front of the trash lowed by a giggle. Meanwhile Bushy Boy was busy Three more blondes and two more room, intently listening, and having “No thanks!” Bushy Boy told the making out with his iPhone. brunettes strutted in. What struck me an experience something like passing maid. The conversation on the long ride was how interchangeable they were. a car accident on the highway. You He shut the door completely. Just as down was disappointing. Bushy Boy Fake boobs. Huge designer handbags. don’t want to look. You cringe as the well. I was beginning to get a little nau- attempted to get a date. Contemptuous Long, toned legs. High, high heels. Lotsa carnage comes into view. But you can’t seous. I unfolded myself and returned to complained. Her job was hard. Hmmm. hair. More high-pitched squealing. help yourself. my room. I’ll bet. I’d seen enough. I entered the eleva- Here is what I heard: “People in Miami Then, a few minutes later, I heard a Then things got even weirder. The tor just as Bushy Boy was exiting. Now are always talking about how much they door swing open, and this: “Well, when elevator doors opened, exposing swarms he was with an older woman. As they have, that they have this and they have all I’m with someone and they think that I of skyscraper women flooding the lobby. passed me, and right before elevator that. And I’m like, ‘No you don’t!’” don’t know that their girlfriend or wife The screeching cell phone woman was doors closed, I hear her say, “You must- Then: “I don’t consider myself to be is at the next table or outside, and I do one of them. I knew it! There was much consider my daughter!” like the typical Miami girl. I mean, I do know, and I’m like, ‘I know what’s going squealing. Long legs and hair extensions yoga for two hours a day.” on here!’” were everywhere. A pink Lamborghini Feedback: [email protected]

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%LVFD\QH7LPHVB$SULOLQGG May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com $029 Neighborhood Correspondents: Biscayne Park Uncivil War In their fight to approve the FPL franchise agreement, some Biscayne Park commissioners went too far By Gaspar González all aspects of the proposed contract, it BT Contributor was evident that, right up to the time they voted, there was some fundamental he quip about laws being like confusion regarding the significance of sausages — the less we know what they would be signing. To take one Tabout how they’re made, the example: Commissioners who favored better we’ll sleep at night — is generally the agreement had long argued that it attributed to Bismarck, which raises a would have no impact either way on question: Did Bismarck ever venture to FPL’s right to bring massive power lines Biscayne Park? Because it would be hard through our village if it so chose. They to imagine an uglier process than the one pointed to the Transmission Line Siting that gave us our new 30-year franchise Act, a state law that they believed already agreement with FPL. gives FPL all the authority it needs to For the record, I was against the put power lines anywhere it likes. Their agreement. I didn’t want a 30-year pact money, collected through our electric accepting is how we got to that final 3-2 position essentially was: Let’s sign this with a company that seems to have no bills — flowing to Biscayne Park. To me, tally. I’d like to be able to say that the thing because we’re already screwed. problem planting 80-foot-tall transmis- that wasn’t a good enough reason. commission’s decision, especially on Yet on the evening of the final vote, at- sion lines at the edge of people’s yards In the end, a majority of our com- something as significant as an irrevo- torney (and Biscayne Park resident) Marga- (take a look at NE 135th Street) and mission thought otherwise. Mayor cable 30-year contract, was the product ret Foldes pointed out that just the opposite whose sole interest is in keeping us Roxanna Ross, Vice Mayor Al Childress, of extensive research, thoughtful discus- is true. Far from screwing us, the Siting energy-dependent on them for another and Commissioner Bob Anderson voted sion, and putting the concerns of Bis- Act is designed to protect communities by generation. The only argument anybody for the agreement. Commissioners Steve cayne Park residents ahead of personal regulating large-scale transmission-line really had for signing the agreement was Bernard and Bryan Cooper, against it. resentments. If only. projects. Furthermore, she offered the legal that it would keep roughly $120,000 in I understand that votes don’t always While I’m certain that members of annual franchise fees — it’s our own go your way. What I have a hard time the commission tried very hard to grasp Continued on page 31

30 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Neighborhood Correspondents: Biscayne Park

Uncivil War dais and in the community — dismis- maneuver designed to throw a bone to would have required the vote of four com- Continued from page 30 sively and, in some cases, with disdain. the residents who signed the petition, missioners to silence him — Mayor Ross Prior to the second reading of the without actually giving the workshop continually interrupted him with admoni- opinion that signing the franchise agree- ordinance, village resident Mike Gruener idea a chance to succeed. (After much tions to wrap up his comments. At the end, ment would put us at a distinct disadvan- spearheaded a petition drive asking hand-wringing, the commission did vote the mayor was unwilling even to listen tage if and when it came time to fight FPL commissioners to postpone the final 4-1 to have the workshop, with Commis- to a compromise that could have had the on transmission lines through the village. vote and instead sponsor a workshop to sioner Anderson opposed.) village joining the Miami-Dade County (The question of whether FPL can put which municipal law experts could be A second petition, asking residents if franchise agreement, instead of signing our transmission lines wherever it wants — in invited, in hopes of uncovering viable they would be willing to raise the village own. (The county’s agreement expires in the absence of a franchise agreement — alternatives for replacing the franchise tax rate to replace the franchise fee — only ten years and contains greater protec- has never been settled in a court of law. It fee (which, again, was the only reason another direct indication to the commis- tions from FPL transmission lines.) remains very much a matter of conjecture. for signing the agreement). sion that many in the community didn’t Commissioner Anderson said it was All the more reason, some would say, to Gruener and a handful of other resi- want the FPL agreement — garnered too late to hear new ideas. The mayor not sign the agreement.) dents — I was one of them — collected about 150 signatures, also in less than a banged her gavel and called for the vote. This is complicated stuff, to be sure. It approximately 220 signatures in the day. Those petitions were brought to the The whole thing played like a bad remake requires experienced utility lawyers who day and a half leading up to the April 6 special commission meeting on April 27, of Mean Girls. (But don’t take my word know their business inside out. FPL has commission meeting. That’s an impres- where the FPL issue was to be decided. for it — tune in to Comcast channel 77 experts like that. Biscayne Park doesn’t, sive number of signed petitions in a very This time it was Vice Mayor Chil- any evening and see for yourself.) and didn’t bother to hire one. This was short time. Residents were speaking dress who found the voice of the people Apparently, for Mayor Ross, Vice largely a do-it-yourself operation on the clearly: They wanted their representa- irksome. During commissioner com- Mayor Childress, and Commissioner village’s part and, by the end, it showed. tives to find a way around the FPL deal. ments, he spoke first, moving that a vote Anderson, it wasn’t enough to be in More dispiriting was the fact that When the petitions were presented on the agreement be taken immediately the majority. For some reason, it also those on the commission who favored to the commission at the meeting, Mayor — that is, without giving commissioners became necessary to demean those who signing the agreement tended to com- Ross’s reaction was nothing short of as- Bernard and Cooper one last opportunity didn’t agree with them. pensate for their lack of expertise with tounding. She moved to hold a workshop to articulate their opposition to the mea- And that’s how we voted to sign our surefire certainty, as if being absolutely right then and there. With no time to pre- sure. (Commissioner Anderson seconded 30-year FPL franchise agreement. You committed to something were the same pare, no experts in the room, and almost the motion.) It was a graceless bully tactic. want mustard on that sausage, folks? as being right. They often treated those no new information, what exactly was When Commissioner Bernard finally with a differing viewpoint — both on the going to come out of it? It was a cynical was given a chance to speak — because it Feedback: [email protected]

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 31 Community news One Big House, Many Different Lives Once a condemned architectural gem with a storied past, The Beauty Temple is now a storybook oasis By Terence Cantarella BT Contributor

t was a water-pumping station, a house of music, a private residence, Imaybe a church, a chop shop, fl op house, meeting place for mystics, and fi nally a beauty salon. For decades the

grotto-like structure at 5808 NE 4th Ct. Photos courtesy of Sabrina D’eca in Miami’s Upper Eastside was known simply as the Lemon City Pump House. Named for the citrus-rich agricultural community that once fl ourished nearby, the coral-rock building looked, to most locals, like a stone chapel. But beyond its sweeping entryway arches and heavy wooden doors sprung a once-rich supply of pure drinking water. The old pump house has been fully restored in its new A very large backyard is dominated by water features. Built in 1923 by developer James life as a salon. H. Nunnally, the pump house originally concealed a 38-horsepower engine and But once it joined the City of Miami, the daughter, and a terrible secret. by an outfi t called Cornucopia Centers. pump that drew water from two wells city picked up the task.” According to published reports, The meetings explored things like “multi- sunk deep into the Biscayne Aquifer. Defunct and seemingly forgotten, the Bowman allegedly had abducted a sense awakening” and “cosmic rites.” An 8000-gallon storage tank created pump house’s historical record grows 14-year-old schoolgirl in Toledo nine Veteran South Florida journalist enough pressure to pipe the water across dark for the next half a century. Hobos years earlier. He shackled her to a wall in Dan Christensen, writing for the Miami Biscayne Boulevard to residents of the are said to have used the place as a crash his basement, sexually assaulted her, and News in 1988, reported that police fi nally newly constructed development of Bay pad during the 1930s. Local pianist strangled her to death. Police found her questioned Bowman in 1982 about the Shore (later renamed Morningside). Marvin Maher converted the building body in a fi eld several days later. Toledo killing. Bowman didn’t admit to The Water Plant at Bay Shore, as into a private home at some point and It would take 40 years and new DNA the murder, but hinted that another girl’s it was called in a 1920s sales brochure, gave music lessons there for many years. technology to link Bowman to the killing body was buried somewhere on the pump provided fresh tap water at a time when But other than vague recollections and and fi nally make an arrest. He’s currently house grounds. Skepticism, money, and many U.S. homes still had none. Yet old title deeds, information on the period awaiting trial in an Ohio jail. His days at departmental restructuring, according to despite its functionality and modern trap- from 1925 to 1975 is hard to come by. the pump house, however, have left some Christensen’s article, kept Miami police pings, the pump house soon grew idle. Historical photos, too, seem to have been unanswered questions. from conducting a search. Two years after its construction, the lost to time. Shortly after moving into the home, Whatever the case, ownership of area of Bay Shore was annexed by the In the spring of 1976, the story picks Bowman began to go through profound the pump house passed to the Veterans’ City of Miami and, according to Miami- up on a much darker note when accused spiritual changes. He used LSD, slept Administration in 1978 after Bowman, Dade College history professor Paul murderer Robert Brent Bowman moved inside a glass pyramid, and talked about who was a military vet, defaulted on his George, the house became redundant: from Ohio to Miami and mortgaged being spiritually connected to John the VA-backed mortgage. A doctor snapped “When Bay Shore was a development the place for $50,000. The charis- Baptist. Around the same time, ads began up the place for just $10,000 in 1980 and outside of city limits, the developer had matic, 40-year-old handbag manufac- to appear in local newspapers announc- to assure people he could provide water. turer brought with him his wife, young ing meetings at the pump house, hosted Continued on page 37

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32 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Community News Surging Supermarkets Publix will build a big one in Edgewater while Whole Foods scouts locations in North Miami By Brandon Dane it on good authority that Whole Foods is Special to BT indeed coming. “The word on the street is that it won’t be tomorrow, but it is going or residents, foodies, and amateur to happen,” he says. “It’s common knowl- as well as professional chefs along edge. Right now it’s a problem with the Fthe Biscayne Corridor, there is economy, but by 2013-2014, it’ll be here.” good news and there is bad news. The Tomlinson adds that if Whole Foods ends good news: Publix is proposing to build up not building on the 123rd Street prop- a new, ultra-modern mega store at 1776 Photo illustration by Marcy Mock erty, the company will most likely make a Biscayne Blvd., and Whole Foods Market deal for a large lot across the street from is negotiating to purchase a large parcel the Jockey Club at 11111 Biscayne Blvd. of vacant land for a new store on NE Currently the two closest Whole 123rd Street just east of the Boulevard. Foods Markets are located in South Bad news: The Publix is not expected Beach and Aventura, both of which to open for at least 18 months, and the present traffic problems. Biscayne Park Whole Foods, according to knowledge- resident Michaela Bittner says her family able sources, would not be welcoming “would love, love, love to have a Whole customers until approximately 2014. Imagine this: Publix is coming to Edgewater, so why not have something Foods” closer to home. As it stands, Of the two projects, the Publix in really cool, like they did in Miami Beach? “the current trek to Aventura is a night- the Edgewater neighborhood is the most mare,” leaving her with two options for concrete. Miami Commissioner Marc did not respond to requests for comment. The real buzz, however, has been cre- convenient grocery shopping: the Publix Sarnoff, in whose district the new market (In his July 2009 BT cover story “Dirt & ated by persistent rumors that Whole Foods in Miami Shores or the larger Publix in will be located, confirms that the com- Dreams,” contributor Christian Cipriani Market — the upscale organic grocer — will North Miami Beach at Biscayne Com- pany has applied for a building permit. A identified the vacant land as ideally suited be opening a store in North Miami at 1850 mons. “Our first choice [for a Whole staffer in Sarnoff’s office says that, as far for a supermarket, adding that “a neigh- NE 123rd St., on the vacant lot directly Foods Market] would be 123rd Street, as he knows, “nothing has changed” and borhood that eats well lives well.”) behind Walgreens in the RK Causeway but we’d gladly accept 111th Street,” she that Publix is simply “going through the Publix operates about 1000 stores in Plaza. A regional spokesman for Whole says. “What a treat it would be to have permitting process.” Officials at the city’s five Southeastern states, with about 70 per- Foods says that while the company is always one in our own neighborhood.” building department say that process should cent of those located in Florida. The closest looking for locations in Florida, “at this Miami Shores resident Dale LoSasso, take less than six months; Sarnoff tacked on one to the Edgewater neighborhood is at time, we have no Miami store openings to wife of acclaimed chef Dewey LoSasso another 18 months for construction. 48th Street and Biscayne Boulevard. Its announce.” Likewise Jacqueline Gonzalez, and herself general manager of Soleá res- However, no one can say with reputation is less than stellar, with residents director of the department of building and taurant at the W Hotel on South Beach, certainty that a new Publix will open in complaining the store is overcrowded, zoning in the City of North Miami, says agrees with Bittner. “We would most two years. Case in point: The new Miami often dirty, and offers a limited selection there are not currently “any applications for definitely drive to 123rd or anywhere that Beach Publix at 5th Street and Alton of meat, seafood, and produce. The next- development of this property.” The owner close for Whole Foods. Aventura is such Road took roughly five years to complete. closest Publix is in Miami Shores at 90th of that property, developer Irwin Tauber of a hassle with traffic. So I usually hit the Furthermore, Kimberly Jaeger, a Publix Street and Biscayne Boulevard. By most Taubco, did not return phone calls. (Inci- South Beach Whole Foods. It would be spokeswoman, says she cannot comment accounts, it is the preferred choice for resi- dentally, Taubco owns the new Causeway great to just jump in the car and be there on the proposed store because “we do not dents at the southern end of the Biscayne Square development, featuring an L.A. Fit- in five minutes to pick up all the things have any official signed agreements.” The Corridor. As with most mass retailers, ness franchise, directly across the street.) that we buy only there.” Houston-based development company Publix markets vary in size and amenities, Real estate broker Jeff Tomlinson, that owns the 83,000-square-foot parcel and neither of those two is a mega Publix. who specializes in the area, says he has Feedback: [email protected]

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 33 Community News In Miami Shores, It’s Nix on Flicks The PlayGround Theatre wants to show movies and draw crowds to NE 2nd Avenue, but there’s one little problem

By Mark Sell to define content have resulted in First Special to BT Amendment lawsuits. Two decades on, and thanks largely to ou’d think movies and the old the Internet, 99-cent theaters and X-rated Shores Theater at 9806 NE 2nd porn palaces are going the way of the Ave. would go together as natural- buggy whip. And even in this Great Reces- Y Courtesy of Seth Bramson ly as buttered popcorn and Coke. But you sion of empty purses and sleepless nights, would be wrong. Why? Because movie crime and “encroachment” are not quite the theaters are outlawed in Miami Shores. concerns they once were. “There’s no ques- Doesn’t matter if the theater is called tion times have changed,” says Steve Lof- the Shores Theater or its successor, the fredo, a lawyer and village council member PlayGround Theatre, a live venue for ac- both then and now, who was present at the claimed children’s theatrical productions, This photo, from the collection of historian Seth Bramson, was taken in law’s creation. “It’s probably time to take a now in its sixth season. No cinemas. Period. June 1966 — well before multiplexes and the Internet. fresh look at the ordinance.” (Also banned in the village: abortion clinics, Getting films into the theater, which adult novelty stores, amusement arcades, independent, classic, or art-house films which prompted the ordinance. still has a workable projection window bingo halls, car washes, escort services, that never make it to multiplexes. Yet undoing the law is not as easy in its upstairs office, is possible. In fact massage parlors, mechanical repair shops, The Shores Theater opened for as it looks. The village enacted it more even today movies can be screened modeling agencies, pawn shops, psychics, business on November 14, 1946, with a than 20 years ago to keep out dirty there, but only if the PlayGround Theatre palm readers, and spiritualists.) sold-out benefit premiere ofBlue Skies, movies and the rough trade. Better to receives permission in conjunction with A growing number of merchants and starring Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire. It bar all movie theaters outright, lawyers an approved special event. That, however, civic activists are trying to change law, ended its cinematic life some 40 years counseled, than to fashion an ordinance can happen just once every six months. and village officials are starting to pay later as a 99-cent theater with a raff- that tried to filter out just naughty theater

attention to the possibility of allowing ish crowd and reputation as a nuisance, operators. In other cities, such efforts Continued on page 35 CA$H FOR GOLD

34 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Community News

Nix on Flicks cheese, antique cars and furniture, ice cream, in the days when ushers in snappy red heavily by the Ansin family WSVN-TV Continued from page 34 and neighbors meeting neighbors (name tags uniforms and flashlights guided patrons broadcast fortune and a growing array of for everyone). The merchants hope to do this to their seats. The theater survived the grants, saved the day. Liz Roldan, the new marketing direc- every month, and the PlayGround Theatre Supreme Court breakup of studio-owned Alex Rodriguez opened the Flower tor for the PlayGround Theatre and a wants movies to be a part of it. theaters in the late 1940s, the ascent of Bar between 96th and 97th streets in former news executive at NBC 6, insists The theater learned of the prohibitive television in the 1950s, and even the first 2007 — four months before construction the theater’s intentions are honorable and ordinance some months back, when O dawning of the enclosed shopping mall. started in early 2008 — and got clob- does not wish to push too hard. “We just Cinema, as recipient of a $400,000 Knight But as the 1970s progressed, rot set bered as a result. But he’s still standing want to draw people into the theater and Foundation grant, was seeking a venue to in, crowds dwindled, and traffic started to and starting to see some pickup. He and neighborhood,” Roldan says. “We’re here regularly screen foreign, independent, art move elsewhere. The then-conservative Sean Saladino of Mooie’s ice cream to serve the community. We’d like to be films while building its own facility in and lily-white Miami Shores council, along parlor and panini shop, on the corner of able to show movies with some regularity.” Wynwood. Roldan and merchants have with prominent civic and church leaders, 96th, are the driving forces behind the The PlayGround Theatre will join gathered such allies as Jim McCoy, a gave the theater manager a hard time about Village Place Merchants Association. other 2nd Avenue business owners at a former mayor and chamber of commerce suggestive, if critically acclaimed, movies Says Rodriguez: “We have had to street fair on Saturday, May 29, from director, who has been active in nearly of the era such as Last Tango in Paris and rethink the game. We all have to work 4:00 to 8:00 p.m., to lure people to the every civic effort of consequence over the Shampoo. Malls and multiplexes sealed the together and refer our customers to each avenue. The newly minted Merchants past decade. He chaired the street festival theater’s fate, and distributors took their other. We have beautiful sidewalks with of Village Place, as they call themselves, and welcomes merchants and the theater movies elsewhere. Enter the 99-cent theater, beautiful trees. And movies are part of want to step it up. taking the lead. “This is in the theater’s which ended its life with a reputation as an bringing people together.” Nearly 5000 people turned out for the court, and we’re all working hard on this,” unmourned community annoyance. With some market studies showing Village Place inaugural street festival this past McCoy says. “This has got to be a unified Salvation and resurrection of a sort that properly positioned cinemas can drive October, held to coincide the reopening of effort. We can craft an ordinance that could came in 1989, with the arrival of the substantial foot traffic to nearby mer- the street after 18 months of construction and allow more movies with an art-house Shores Performing Arts Center, followed chants, Roldan believes it’s time to give economic collapse that killed many business- concept, and that can help foot traffic for by a sweat-equity restoration, occasional movies a fresh shot. “You’ll never find out es. Inspired by the Village Place example, the merchants trying to make a living. The film showings (with special permitting), if there is a demand unless you’re allowed merchants’ group — operating independently theater is one of the true jewels of the street theatrical productions, great community to try,” she says. “This is our neighbor- from but in cooperation with the Miami that can be a tremendous source of traffic.” pride, and hopelessly wobbly financing. hood and we want to see it succeed.” Shores Chamber of Commerce — will throw For decades the Shores Theater The village council could not keep it NE 2nd Avenue open to art, food, wine and reigned as a leading uptown cinema afloat. The PlayGround Theatre, funded Feedback: [email protected]

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 35 Community News Five Big Ideas for the MiMo District Inspired Barry University students go nuts, reinvent Biscayne Boulevard

By Erik Bojnansky Miami Modern Rooftop swimming pool And he could “speak about the various BT Contributor architecture (MiMo) is architectural styles that dot the eastern at the heart of the 1950s VIP sports bar and western sides of the Boulevard, as

Take a bunch of energetic and creative Revival scenario, which Bowling alley well as the crime and prostitution that graduate students, task them with imagin- calls for designating 12 with café and bar plagued the corridor for decades…. ing a future for the MiMo Biscayne Bou- “anchor” motels along Tennis and Those who are seeking thrills amid the racquetball courts levard Historic District, and what do you an 18-block stretch of the Indoor soccer grunge and seediness of the Boulevard get? A tour featuring pimps and hookers! Boulevard. The design and football can take another tour depicting the lives Photo illustration by Marcy Mock

Okay, that’s not all you get. A tour of these motels would Game rooms: table of many famous gangsters and hooligans on the seedy side is just one of five be used as an architec- tennis, air hockey Lap pool who once inhabited this area.” possibilities dreamed up by a group of tural standard for future Fitness center and “I would be pleased to do it,” George basketball courts Lockers and Barry University students enrolled in buildings. “In order to showers tells the BT, adding that he could pattern the school’s MBA program. Their ideas do this, the motels need Sporting goods stores it after his popular Miami River tours. are contained in a 120-page report now to be unified or tied Sports bar: food, drink, The Red Light scenario also borrows being circulated among City of Miami together through a string many flat-screens the “Walk of Fame” concept from Hol- officials and neighborhood activists. The of new developments and lywood, California, but ours would be the report was commissioned by the MiMo façade upgrades in the “Walk of Shame.” Instead of celebrities, district’s Business Improvement Com- style of Miami Modern/ the MiMo district’s sidewalks would be mittee, a coalition of property owners the 1950s,” says the report. Sports Haven scenario: Recycle the ugliest adorned with “the names and faces of Bis- and preservationists who want to create “Other communities have building in town. cayne Boulevard’s most notorious inhabit- a self-taxing “business improvement architectural continuity ants, such as gangsters, pimps, untouch- district” for the area. — Miami Lakes’ Main Street and South Motel, Vagabond Motel, Sunshine Motel, ables, and cultists who made their homes in As part of their assignment, the 19 Beach, for example. MiMo does not.” Royal Motel, and Motel Blu. South Florida at one time or another.” students formed five teams, each of which The 1950s Revival scenario encour- Instead of historic architecture, the Red The Sports Haven scenario takes came up with a scenario that could help ages MiMo-inspired “mixed-use build- Light District scenario embraces the Bou- inspiration from the $34 million Little “create a unique and definitive new identity ings two to three stories in height with levard’s criminal and sinful history. “While Haiti Soccer Park, just a few blocks away for the MiMo District,” which lies between retail shops/restaurants on the bottom and many communities try to bury social taboos on NE 2nd Avenue. “The soccer fields… 50th and 77th streets along the Boulevard. apartments or offices on top,” the report in their past during a revitalization effort, expect to draw large crowds with stands Those scenarios include using Boulevard states. Historic motels could also be con- the MiMo District could consider capital- that seat 850 spectators,” the study notes. motels as architectural “anchors,” turning verted into “nightclubs, lounges, restau- izing on the events of its seedy past by Such a soccer Mecca could be beneficial the former INS building into a giant athletic rants, or theaters,” while “newer versions turning the district into a living red-light to the MiMo district: “Existing motels center, utilizing local chefs and artists as of each motel could possibly be built history tour that will remind South Florida could become destination resorts for ambassadors, as well as the pimp-and- adjacent to the property as the modern- of its past,” says the report. traveling fans, while area sports bars and hooker “red light” history tour. day hotel with the latest amenities.” The Red Light scenario would enlist sports-themed restaurants could become “I’m glad these students weren’t lim- MiMo-era motels that could serve as the services of local historian Paul destination points for all sports fans.” ited in their thinking,” says Scott Timm, anchors for the historic district include George, who teaches at Miami-Dade Col- To enhance this sporting potential, executive director of MiMo’s Business (from south to north) the Seven Seas lege and is affiliated with the Historical the Barry students would recycle the Improvement Committee. “They’ve given Motel, Carl’s Motel El Padre, Sinbad Museum of Southern Florida. According vacant former INS building at 79th Street, us years’ worth of development possibili- Motel, Shalimar Motel, South Pacific to the report, George would lead visi- transforming it into a “large, multipurpose ties, and we’re not throwing out any of Motel, Davis Motel, Biscayne Inn (for- tors on tours “recounting all that it once their ideas as unfeasible or uninteresting.” merly the Stardust), Saturn Motel, King was — good, bad, and criminally ugly.” Continued on page 37

36 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Community News

Big Ideas area is “uniquely positioned to become a costs of rent and ownership may attract height limit is not going to allow the Continued from page 36 prime destination neighborhood for those artists, galleries, studios, and exhibits, district to grow into a real destination,” looking for distinctive dining options.” which would all benefit the district,” the Liebman asserts. She advocates a 53- sporting venue.” The Sports Haven The report notes that special events report states. Thus the Art Hub scenario, foot height limit that would allow strip scenario even includes a floor plan: a sponsored by the nonprofit MiMo Biscayne in which the district creates incentives malls and motels to build up and become swimming pool on the roof, a VIP sports Association already promote the district’s for art galleries to open, asking local mixed-use projects. bar on the tenth floor, an indoor bowling restaurants, but “more can be done” to artists to “paint artistic walls and murals In fact the 35-foot rule is not yet law. alley with a café and bar on the ninth floor, attract more restaurants, food markets, and throughout the district,” attracting Art Miami Mayor Tomas Regalado sus- indoor racquetball and tennis courts on gourmet shops. One possibility: “develop- Basel in December, and organizing pended the enactment of Miami 21 until the eighth floor, indoor soccer and football ment of a unique food mall” or “a two- to gallery walks that also showcase the more discussions are held. As a result, on the seventh floor, a gaming room three-story restaurant center along the district’s architecture. This scenario also buildings in the MiMo Biscayne Boule- with table tennis and air hockey on the Boulevard that would house an array of proposes that the district partner with the vard Historic District are still allowed to sixth floor, a fitness center and gym with ethnic restaurants and entertainment from Arsht Center for the Performing Arts and reach 80 to 120 feet in height. “I guess “basketball hoops” on the fifth floor, a lap around the world.” While encouraging host local Haitian art and cultural events. it’s a good thing there’s a slowdown in pool on the fourth floor, locker rooms on more “trendy, high-end restaurants,” fast- The five scenarios are just one aspect development,” Liebman says. the third floor, sporting goods stores on the food places would be discouraged. of the Barry report, completed this past Although the 35-foot height limit is in second floor, and a giant sports bar with Culinary Row also suggests that December, which also includes opinion limbo, it will likely figure into additional an “extensive food and drink menu” and motels could offer gourmet food and wine, surveys, zoning analyses, comparisons to studies. “Florida Atlantic University is “many TVs displaying international and and “make a better usage of their bars and other Florida historic districts, and even doing a financial study, and they’re going national sports” on the ground floor. lounge areas by organizing weekly special suggestions for obtaining grant money. to have a lot more to say about the 35 feet,” Repurposing the INS building parties and events.” The report imagines Nancy Liebman, vice president of the Liebman promises. The FAU study is due wouldn’t be necessary to lure fine-dining that “the MiMo District’s motels could MiMo Business Improvement Commit- this summer. A streetscape report, which is patrons. The MiMo Historic District is also host ‘Taste & Toast’ events, where tee, says she wants city officials to be being prepared by two University of Miami already home to popular and critically ac- visitors pay for the drink and get the buffet aware of the threats to the district cited urban planning professors, will also look at claimed restaurants such as Michy’s, Casa access free. This same idea could be ap- in the report — in particular a 35-foot a future district with and without a 35-foot Toscana, Red Light, Soyka, Moonchine, plied to business lunches for a flat fee.” height limit that was enacted along the height limit. That report is due in June. Uva 69, Balans, and more. The Culinary Artists can also be used to promote historic district as part of the Miami Row scenario points out that the MiMo the MiMo Historic District. “The lower 21 zoning overhaul. “Having a 35-foot Feedback: [email protected]

Beauty Temple described the home as dilapidated and according to the Sun Sentinel (which sparked an immediate public outcry. His Continued from page 32 vacant. described the place as an abandoned story prompted Miami Mayor Steve By 1994 the pump house had become church), investigators found flammable Clark to order the demolition halted. partitioned the interior into 11 separate an encampment for vagrants. Hundreds liquid on the premises and concluded Volunteers descended on the place to rooms, creating cheap residential rental of used tires accumulated on the prop- there was “no doubt the building was help with a clean-up effort. And most units exclusively for women. Three years erty — possibly dumped there by the burned intentionally.” The perpetrator significantly, Gum agreed to donate his later he sold it to retired art teacher Ever- proprietors of an automobile service sta- and motive remain a mystery. property to the preservation group Dade ett Gum — at a $75,000 profit. tion across the street in the present-day Exposed, charred, and in ruins, the Heritage Trust, which persuaded the city With the neighborhood newly awash Andiamo Pizza building. Cars, stripped house drew the attention of Miami code to remove the hefty liens by promising to in drugs, violence, and prostitution to their frames, and mounds of debris inspectors, who gave Gum 90 days to restore the pump house. during the 1980s, however, Gum had also littered the large backyard. clean and secure his property. But with Habitual building-savior Sal Pa- trouble maintaining the place. According A near death blow was struck that $100,000 in liens against it for accumu- tronaggio paid just $16,500 for the prop- to his daughter, he bought the house as same year when a destructive fire tore lated code violations, Gum opted to have erty a year later and tried to fulfill that an investment, and it’s unclear whether through the place, collapsing the second the pump house demolished instead. promise. He hired a machete-wielding he ever lived there. Court records show floor and tall cathedral ceiling. Initial Miami Herald reporter Geoffrey homeless man, still living amid the ruins, he evicted tenants twice during that speculation was that homeless squatters Tomb documented the pump house’s period, and a news report from 1988 had accidentally sparked the blaze. But plight in an April 1995 article that Continued on page 40

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 37 Community News Mr. Mayor, Can You Please Tell Them To Be Quiet? A town hall meeting, a huge turnout, a hodgepodge of issues — it’s democracy in action By Margaret Griffis different issue came up: Sex offenders BT Contributor moving into the Upper Eastside from their encampments on the Julia Tuttle hat happens when you invite Causeway. Commissioner Marc Sarnoff Miami’s new mayor and police explained that, owing to a change in law Wchief over for a little sex, he helped to instigate, the colony living liquor, and loud music? A super-charged under the causeway bridge was dis- town hall meeting, that’s what. And a BT photo by Margaret Griffis mantled and the sex offenders were sent successful one at that. to live elsewhere — mostly Homestead, Nearly 200 residents, politicians, Allapattah, and apparently Shorecrest. community activists, and city police Sergio Torres, administrator of attended the first-ever town hall meet- Miami’s Homeless Assistance Program, ing for Miami’s Upper Eastside, held on came forward to discuss the situation April 21 at Legion Park. It was organized and acknowledged that 14 offenders had by the City of Miami’s Neighborhood moved into the Upper Eastside and were Enhancement Team at the request of Now taking your questions: Bob Powers and Jack Spirk (left) with City being heavily monitored. One of them, Shorecrest Homeowners Association of Miami helpful honchos. however, had already committed another president Jack Spirk and his counterpart offense, though of what sort wasn’t clear. at the Palm Grove Homeowners Associa- Miami Mayor Tomás Regalado, the chief. Exposito proudly noted that violent Chris Masciatti, co-chair of the Sho- tion, Bob Powers. Representatives from featured guest, spoke about how difficult crime is down 28 percent in the city recrest United Association, exasperatedly Morningside, Belle Meade, and other it was in the past to hold such meetings. thanks to a crackdown on crimes against questioned why the city moved so many Upper Eastside neighborhoods were also He said he wants to bring government to persons. He promised to concentrate on into the neighborhood, where they could in attendance. As community meetings the people and improve their quality of property crimes next. “reminisce about the old times when they go, the turnout for this inaugural town life. He then turned the discussion over What seemed like a very dry meet- were raping children.” The simple answer hall session was exceptional. to Miguel Exposito, the city’s new police and-greet changed dramatically when a Continued on page 39

38 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Community News

Town Hall she was drowned out, but this time she was of the meeting room and movingly ex- Haydee Wheeler, director of the city’s Continued from page 38 hailed for her clear support of the Alcoholics tolled the virtues of the club. The mayor Neighborhood Enhancement Teams and Anonymous franchise known as the Little acknowledged their interest but deferred the person behind the evening’s agenda was that a lack of nearby schools and River Club, also located on NE 79th Street. discussion to another time because of (with help from the homeowner associa- other protected facilities created a legal An extraordinary number of people in legal issues surrounding the matter. tions), was also very pleased with the bubble for them to obtain residence. The the audience appeared to be members or The main dispute between the Little exceptionally big turnout, telling the BT simple answer didn’t do much to placate supporters of the Little River Club, which is River Club and its neighbors is over their she’s willing to add the Little River Club residents who saw a complicated prob- embroiled in a long-running dispute with its parking lot. Since the 1950s, access to the to the next meeting’s agenda, pending lem, and in their view, a dangerous one. residential neighbors. One club supporter, club’s lot has been from NE 80th Street, recommendations from the legal depart- The meeting then addressed sev- Allan McDonald, fidgeted through much of which would be a quiet residential road if ment. “We are not about providing lip eral noise complaints that ranged from the meeting, clearly wanting the organizers not for the extra club traffic. Some club service,” says Wheeler. “We are defi- incessant fire alarms at half-empty to hurry on to the next issue — his issue. members have allegedly driven recklessly nitely working closely with them to make condominiums to late-night musical McDonald’s hopes seemed to be and threatened residents when confront- a difference in their community.” entertainment at several area clubs. A dashed when the mayor prepared to leave ed. Neighbors want that gate closed and Jack Spirk, who has long advocated hip young woman, Sandra Gonzales, the meeting without discussing the issue. to have club members enter their parking for quarterly town hall meetings, was stood up to complain about how noise “Everybody is here, and nobody address- lot from 79th Street, a busy commercial “blown away” by the attendance. “Only from the Brazilian hot spot Boteco, on es it.... I want to know why,” McDonald corridor. The club has appealed to the once in the past ten years have I ever NE 79th Street, was affecting her family. appealed to the mayor, Sarnoff, and other city to keep the current configuration. seen a turnout like that,” he says. “I She tried to explain that her “parents are city representatives. Abbie Cuellar, who is a board believe that if residents get to hear from getting old — my dad is 60 and my mom He was cut off by a brief discussion member of the Shorecrest Homeown- their elected officials and city service just turned 50.” But the crowd — mainly about Biscayne Boulevard landscaping, ers Association, was surprised and providers, they’ll have a better under- aging Boomers — drowned her out, roar- before making a second attempt to focus delighted by the turnout: “People were standing as to how their government ing with laughter. on the Little River Club. “Nobody here very confused as to what their Shorecrest works. And elected officials and service She went on to express her outrage cares about the trees,” he said loudly. neighbors want. There’s mistrust on both providers get to hear the concerns of the at being held hostage by club noise, then “We’re all here about the gate.” That was sides, but if we each could listen for just residents and what their needs are. It’s a stumbled onto something that interested a a reference to the controversy surround- a minute, we could all be good neighbors, win-win situation. I think we proved that larger portion of the audience. Gonzales ing the club’s rear parking area. and hopefully they [Little River Club Wednesday night.” said, “I’d rather have a bunch of people that Then a grandmotherly figure, Victoria members] will come to understand that. don’t drink, gathering together — ” Again Peach, walked up to the stage at the front The goal is to live in harmony.” Feedback: [email protected]

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 39 Community News Another Neighborhood, Another Mutiny This time the rival faction has formed in Miami’s historic Palm Grove district

By Margaret Griffis Grove, where residents have likewise BT Contributor broken away and formed a second neighborhood association. olitical scientists have long debated Palm Grove is an officially desig- whether the Domino Theory — in nated City of Miami historic district, a which small changes trigger a distinction conferred on the neighbor-

P BT photo by Margaret Griffis chain reaction across political borders hood just last year. It is bordered on the — accurately described the realities of north by the Little River, on the east by the Cold War. Maybe it did, maybe it Biscayne Boulevard, on the south by didn’t. In 2010, however, Miami’s Upper NE 58th Street, and on the west by the Eastside could prove to be a new testing FEC railroad tracks. The Palm Grove ground for the old hypothesis as hom- split, however, has taken a tack different eowner groups compete for the ears of from Shorecrest. Instead of having two both residents and politicians. groups covering the entire neighborhood Last month the BT reported on a fac- Democracy in action: President Bob Powers (left) and the board of the simultaneously, the freshly minted North tion of Shorecrest residents who broke Palm Grove Neighborhood Association. Palm Grove Community Organization away from the long-standing Shorecrest (NPGCO) will concentrate on the upper Homeowners Association (SHOA) to form their small neighborhood, which lies east Spirk also believes that “the confusion half of the community, above NE 70th a parallel group called Shorecrest United of Biscayne Boulevard and north of NE of having two groups [will] impede Street. But the older Palm Grove Neigh- (“One Neighborhood, Two Personali- 79th Street. progress” for the community. Although borhood Association will not retreat to its ties”). Troy Howard and Chris Masciatti, That upbeat view is not shared by it’s still too early to predict how the southern flank. It will continue to work founders of the breakaway group, believed current SHOA president Jack Spirk, Shorecrest rivalry will pan out, the throughout the district. that a new organization, using different who sees Howard’s and Masciatti’s separatist sentiment has now spread tactics, would allow them to better serve methods as too aggressive for SHOA. across the Little River and into Palm Continued on page 41

Beauty Temple Continued from page 37 a cathedral ceil- put so much money into this property ing, glazed concrete and spent so many years not making any to help him clean the grounds; used a floors, dark interior money back from it.” pressure-washer to drive snakes out of woodwork, and lush He credits historian Paul George, the rock walls; and eventually installed tropical landscaping. who spoke on his behalf at a Historic a new roof. “It was junkyard back then,” The crowning jewel: and Environmental Preservation Board he says, “but I fell in love with it.” an elaborate, coral- meeting, with finally persuading Eaton to The pump house had another admirer rock water feature approve the change. And if not for a gen- as well. Former actor J.B. Kilpatrick had that took three years erous investment by his late father-in-law, been eyeing the place for years. A decade to chisel out of the Alfonso D’eca, and mother-in-law Joyce, earlier, despite facing ridicule from ground. Spread half- he insists the pump house project would buddies, he had taken his sister’s advice way across the back have died long ago. He and wife Sabrina to attend beauty school while pursuing garden, its water cas- finally hung a sign outside in 2006, chris- his movie career. Now, scouting a new J.B. Kilpatrick spent three years chiseling out cades from an upper tening their building and business with a location for his South Beach hair salon, the lagoon. pool into a larger new name: The Beauty Temple. he and his wife Sabrina D’eca decided to lagoon, where hand- Standing in front of their coral-rock make Patronaggio an offer. commercial complex next door, the carved stone steps masterpiece on a recent workday, Kilpat- Shortly thereafter, in 1999, they growing focus of historic preservation- descend like a Roman bath beneath the rick acknowledges a spiritual connection bought the pump house for $208,000. ists on nearby Biscayne Boulevard, and glimmering surface. to the place after his protracted struggle: “It was like the Wild, Wild West back Kilpatrick’s D.I.Y. talents, things finally There was, however, one problem “This is where my heart is. This is my then,” Kilpatrick recalls. “There was started to turn around for the embattled with his little Eden. The property carried soul. If I sold this property now, my no fence in the back, so people were all pump house. a decades-old residential zoning restric- life journey would change completely. over the property. They were even in “Every day I would cut hair on the tion, which barred him from establishing There’s definitely some powerful energy the damn trees. One guy tried to hit me Beach until maybe 2:00 in the afternoon, his salon business. Kilpatrick grimaces in this place.” with a hammer. Another time, five guys then come here and work on the place as he describes the unexpectedly long kicked the door down when I was inside. until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning,” Kil- process of having the property rezoned For more information about The Beauty I picked up my bow and arrow and fired patrick recalls. “My vision kept getting commercial (seven years by his count): Temple, visit www.beautytemplesalon. a few shots. They ran out so fast you bigger and bigger — until I ran out of “I almost lost everything waiting for the com or call 305-751-5077. wouldn’t believe it.” money. And this is what I ended up with.” zoning change. Everyone at the city was Such mayhem wouldn’t last long. What he ended up with is a onboard except Sarah Eaton [the city’s With developer Mark Soyka’s burgeoning fully restored stone sanctuary with former historic preservation officer]. I Feedback: [email protected]

40 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Community News

Mutiny are, in effect, competing with established years there weren’t enough members to territory, and he wants residents to know Continued from page 40 associations, Bottari says: “To do it right, hold a formal election in the association, that Palm Grove’s improvements have come it’s a lot of work. If somebody is willing “so a lot of us sat on the board to fill those thanks to the work of the original association Eileen Bottari, who is well known to make the investment, the commitment, seats.” When a quorum was finally reached, (of which Bottari is a founding member), in political circles across the city, heads the time and energy to get involved to the members re-elected him despite a three- and more are expected soon. There is also the new group, which officially incorpo- make a difference in their neighborhood, year term limit called for in the bylaws. the problem of duplicating or counteracting rated last January. She tells the BT that “a I support anyone who wants to do it. I (The requirement has since been dropped each other’s efforts. group of us started a new organization to think that is a good idea.” and e-mail voting has been implemented.) It’s bad enough that two competing create better communication with the ho- Although Bottari didn’t groups might confuse residents, but to meowners in the north part of the neigh- Bottari attend that confuse government officials would be even borhood, to address issues such as crime, declines to dis- “They don’t like me. It’s a personal thing. meeting, says worse. At a recent meeting with city and services, police — all of that stuff.” cuss the moti- Here is somebody who came up with Powers, but county officials, which Bottari’s organization The life-long Miami resident adds that vation behind $500 to create another thing to just be he heard she requested, Powers tells the BT that the new she has lived in the neighborhood 27 years: the split from an annoyance. Really. It’s a shame.” went “apo- group was dressed down by Miami-Dade “When I moved here [to Palm Grove] in her former plectic” when County Commissioner Audrey Edmonson, the 1980s it, was the wild, wild west. I’ve associates, learning of his who was bewildered that they weren’t operat- seen the transformation. We have a really Palm Grove re-election. ing within the established association, which beautiful neighborhood and we’d like to Neighborhood Association president Bob “Believe me, if she wanted the presi- had long ago brought up the same issues. make sure it stays that way, and that it Powers is quite willing to offer his im- dency of the Palm Grove Neighborhood Powers has one last shot to take at moves forward in a real positive way.” pressions on the matter. “They don’t like Association, she could have it. She could Bottari’s North Palm Grove Community Although the fledgling organization has me,” he says flatly. “It’s a personal thing. run for it, but she wouldn’t get elected,” says Organization: “It’s a community organiza- yet to create a formal newsletter or website, I think it is personal more than anything Powers, sounding a little agitated. “I have tion, yet I’ve never received anything about Bottari says they have begun to circulate else. Here is somebody who actually standing, but it isn’t like they couldn’t be it. There are members of our board who are flyers and e-mails, held monthly meetings, came up with $500 to create another involved. Were they precluded from being living in their neighborhood and were never and organized a Crime Watch program. thing to just be an annoyance. Really. It’s involved? Were they asked not to partici- informed [of the new group]. That’s great, They are also working with the city and a shame.” pate? No. They never bothered to show!” but how about informing everybody?” Miami-Dade County to improve services. With a little more prodding, however, Powers is also very concerned that the When asked about the coincidence Powers gives up what may be the root of North Palm Grove Community Organization to two new neighborhood groups that the dissatisfaction. He says for several overlies about half of his group’s traditional Feedback: [email protected]

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 41 Police Reports Biscayne Crime Beat Compiled by Derek McCann The High Cost of Smelling not home during the incident, but Another Miami Samaritan Sweet the suspect is still on the loose. 6th Street and N. Miami Avenue 7500 Block of NE 6th Court A woman was struggling with her shop- Victim arrived home after making a The Great Gumball ping bags when a kindly man and apparent quick trip to the bank and found his back Heist knight in shining armor approached her on door open and a side window tampered 8400 Block of NE 2nd Avenue a yellow bike. He offered to assist her with with. Missing items included an X-box, Our victim was closing her restau- her heavy and awkward burden. The future DVD player, and a Movado watch valued rant when an unknown suspect and victim was relieved by his altruism and at $4000. However, the burglar left his apparent candy aficionado man- sensed his sincerity, so she placed one of mark: a mysterious perfume bottle was aged to get inside the eatery. He her bags on the ground. Instantly the Good found on the floor. Police were smart grabbed a gum vending machine Samaritan grabbed the bag and raced off enough to take prints, which they traced and bolted, running south on the on his bike. Advice to distressed Miam- different reasons. This hapless romantic to a metrosexual hoodlum, who was ar- avenue. It happened so quickly the owner ians: If someone offers to help you, hold injured her ankle and requested a ride rested and hauled off to jail. did not have a chance to see what he looked onto your purse, clutch your shopping bags from two Boulevard gentlemen, who like. That’s a lot of gum. Dentists in the tightly, and just say “No!” agreed to drive her to her destination. The Axeman Cometh area are asked to report suspicious patients. As she carefully exited and thanked Only the Best 8500 Block of NE 10th Avenue the young men for “being normal,” she In a scary incident, a man armed with Sense and Sensibility reached into the car to retrieve her purse, Accommodations a pickaxe gained entry to a home’s sun in Miami only to have the twosome speed away. 3500 Block of Biscayne Boulevard room by breaking the sliding door and 3600 Block of Biscayne Boulevard Inside the purse: $2600 in cash. Penni- While staying at a Boulevard motel with opening the inside lock. He ventured Maybe it happens differently in 19th- less and in pain, the victim called police, a name fancier than it deserves, a guest around the home and entered two bed- century Romantic novels, but when a only to find herself later starring in complained to management that the door rooms, which he ransacked, stealing sev- woman twists her ankle along the cor- “Biscayne Crime Beat” and wondering if to his room would not lock properly. eral items. Fortunately, the family was ridor, suitors still come — though for there are any good people left anywhere. Continued on page 43

42 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Police Reports

Crime Beat no getaway car. But being an industri- There is video surveillance and security is not a good idea. The woman noticed ous sort of crook, he did manage to is investigating. an assemblage of purses that had been Continued from page 42 steal a bike from next door and cycled placed next to a loudspeaker. Just what Then he inexplicably went on his way (to away into the night. There have been More Publix Silliness she was looking for! Apparently these South Beach, we guess), and left it up to no arrests. 4870 Biscayne Blvd. tipsy dolts don’t read the BT. Within the manager to take care of his personal The market’s loss-prevention officer minutes her purse disappeared. belongings. The trustworthy employees Grand Slam Stupidity witnessed a shabbily dressed man plac- of the motel moved all his stuff into a 3600 Biscayne Blvd. ing multiple cases of beer in his shopping Furious Dog Owners locked room. Make that almost all his A man was dining at his local Denny’s cart. Nothing wrong with that. We love stuff. The victim’s laptop computer mys- Fight Back and got up to use the restroom. In a our neighborhood lushes. But this drunk 6400 Block of NE 7th Avenue teriously disappeared in the process of move that could charitably be called pushed his heavily laden cart right past Two signs were erected in a section of the security move. Efforts were made to unwise, he left his wallet on the table all the cash registers — without paying. Legion Park designed to keep dogs and locate it, but to no avail. Either we have next to his ham and eggs. When he He went outside to the parking lot with their owners away. (Another part of the a case of corrupt employees, or we have returned, guess what? Yes, his wallet his large stash of brew. The loss-preven- park is fenced in so dogs can play off- a clueless tourist who was just aching to was gone. The question is this: Was he tion officer followed him outside and told leash.) According to Miami police, sever- file a police report. really that stupid or was he crazy like him to stop. The inebriated man then al of these neighborhood dog owners had a fox? After all, he didn’t have to pay mightily shoved the cart at the security threatened a park supervisor on multiple Home Invader Improvises for his meal. Either way, hard-working guard, causing lacerations on his arm. occasions, demanding open access for Escape Plan Miami police officers were going take The perp ran off and escaped. No arrests their little mutts. After all, are not parks 300 Block of NE 57th Street the time to file a report. have been made. specifically designed for dog excrement? These victims were sleeping in their One night a homeless man sleeping in bedroom when they heard a sharp Publix Pickpocket? Okay, This Must Stop! the park heard a loud noise, woke up, and noise. They got up to investigate and 4870 Biscayne Blvd. 601 Biscayne Blvd. observed a “white man” tearing down were disturbed to find an unknown While shopping at Publix, a woman no- A young woman was dancing the night the signs. Clean up after your dogs and man in their home. They screamed for ticed someone hovering very close to her. away at Club Space but found her purse we wouldn’t have this problem, right? No him to leave — and he did. Being ex- Oh, well. This is Miami and we do have a bit cumbersome and wanted to place arrests have been made. ceedingly brave, the victims followed congestion. However, when she went to it somewhere so she could really cut the burglar outside. He had no real the register to pay for her groceries, her loose. Of course, we know from numer- back-up plan — no waiting accomplice, wallet was not to be found in her purse. ous prior “Crime Beat” reports that this Feedback: [email protected]

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 43 A r t & C u l t u r e The Future Is Here A recent student art show, featuring a special valedictorian, proves that Miami has talent By Anne Tschida Sculpture and performance BT Contributor increasingly fueled his passion, but an outgoing personality never he Cisneros Fontanals came easy. “That’s why Sleeper Art Foundation (CIFO) worked for me,” he says. “I could Topened up in 2005, and live out another personality, I in its run as an exhibition hall could have a theatrical impact has delivered some amazing and with work under that name. It groundbreaking art. So anyone helped me let go of inhibitions.” visiting the downtown space Whether it was losing inhi- in April would not have been bitions or just letting talent flow,

surprised at the quality of work Arts Photos courtesy New World School of the Sleeper would go on to earn a being shown: some beautiful 4.0 GPA, and honors such as the painting, intriguing sculpture, New World School of the Arts powerful video, and quirky and Book Award 2006, the Sculpture smart installation. Award 2006, and the Scholastics But there was a surprise. Gold Key Portfolio 2006. This was not work from an Now, with his bicycle as international roster of profes- transportation, Sleeper works as sional artists, as is often the a nightclub manager by night and case at CIFO. It was the BFA student and artist by day. Having (Bachelor of Fine Arts) exhibit entered New World’s high school of 22 soon-to-be graduates of art program in 2002, he says he’s the New World School of the benefited from an increasingly Arts Visual Arts College. And sophisticated art scene: “You it was really good. can’t help absorb the energy from Normally we’re lenient in Valedictorian Sleeper with his sculpture, Samuel Lopez de Victoria playing in his what has happened here. Unlike judging student shows; they are waiting to awake. installation, feeling pug love. the past, we know what art looks by definition amateur. In general like now. We know how to hang Miami’s art schools don’t rate on a nation- an unexpected quarter. “I was given that name at one of the art, what a good show looks like.” al level; and sprawling student shows are In the first decade of the 21st Cen- places I was living,” says the nomadic On the other hand, he says, there are often more chaotic than navigable. Here, tury, we watched Miami’s art scene Miami native, who has moved from also high expectations. Maybe too high. however, were some large paintings on grow and develop around Art Basel, and home to home, neighborhood to neigh- And the art world can be a precarious the entrance wall by José Felix Perez that around the proliferation of new galler- borhood. “And I liked it, I wanted to place to live. He knows it has to be kept oozed skill and complexity. An installa- ies and other art fairs. The latest output keep it. Like, at the right time I would at arm’s length in order to avoid being tion of a room — complete with Spanish- from the urban New World class of 2010 wake up. There would be a right time to subsumed and consumed by it. baroque touches, a fish tank, and dark sprouts from another, noncommercial show yourself, reveal yourself.” Sleeper’s second sculpture in the maroon wallpaper by Carolina Barros — strain. It does Miami proud and should Of Argentine and Venezuelan heri- BFA show is of two very tall, hooded, included a hidden gem. At floor level, cut make us excited about what the spectral figures (he calls them wizards) into the wall, was a tiny doorway. When future holds. starring at an artwork. The piece is you got on the ground and crouched to The valedictorian of the The fact that art of such quality is all blinged out with lights and a gold peek in, yet another living room was re- class is representative of this being nourished here is a solid step baroque frame. As Sleeper explains, it vealed, in miniature, with some fantastic, new wave on a number of toward a more rooted scene, one that screams out “I am important, look at over-the-top décor and lighting. Yasmin levels, not least of which is can survive economic swings and art me!” The two figures themselves are im- Tolentino created a lovely and lonely his working name. Anthony fair largess. portant people, arbiters of what’s worthy painting-with-video projection, while Villasmil, whose sculp- in the art world. “They get to decide Samuel Lopez de Victoria incorporated tures were a centerpiece of what’s important or not,” Villasmil live pug dogs in his installation. the show and from whom the Bass tage, Villasmil roamed from Kendall to says. “You know, they’re the big people Those were just some of the high- Museum has already commissioned South Miami, searching for cheaper rent, standing there, making the ultimate deci- lights from a range of media that en- artwork, goes by the artistic nom de eventually landing in Overtown, North sions.” He seems to be asking: Who is compassed photography, sculpture, film, plume of Sleeper. One of his sculptures Miami, Liberty City — and for the time really in a dream? Who is sleep-walking video, painting, design, and drawing. A was a life-size, half-hidden sleeping being — downtown Miami. Along the in our consumer society? quick look at the biographies of these figure, with the title Bide. Biding its way he was enrolled in art programs, In fact Sleeper is awakening to a young artists also reveals the multicul- time to rise, waiting for the appropriate from the third grade on. He went to New pretty good morning in Miami. He’s part tural nature of this new generation of moment to stand up. That’s how Vil- World’s high school arts program, and of the pioneering NWSA Visual Arts Miami, with students hailing from all lasmil describes himself, why he works then passing up scholarships in Chicago Honors Program, only in its second year. over the Western Hemisphere. In other under the name Sleeper. He’s his own and San Francisco, he stayed in Miami words, this was a strong showing from cultural “sleeper cell.” for college. Continued on page 45

44 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 A r t & C u l t u r e

The class of 2010 has reason to smile (aided by their dean, Maggy A painter’s paintings, from the brush of José Felix Perez. Cuesta, fourth from left, and instructor, Fredric Snitzer, center). Future Biennale in June. “We get to go see Ger- by both students and faculty, according to swings and art fair largess. Continued from page 44 many’s Art Basel,” enthuses Villasmil. the dean of visual arts, Maggy Cuesta. As for Villasmil, he’ll be sticking It’s a nine-month intensive tutoring pro- “We’ll do studio visits and meet artists, No doubt it’ll be an inspiring excur- around for a bit, as he’s had to wake up gram for ten students focused more on the whole thing. And think — I’ve never sion, though these students already to some everyday realities. “My puppy exchange and dialogue than on lectures, even left the country!” are an inspiring breed. Regardless of got into a fight, and you know, veterinar- and is led by faculty member and gallery It’s a terrific opportunity, the idea whether they decide to stay in Miami ians are way expensive,” he says. “So I owner Fredric Snitzer. stemming from Snitzer, who in the past or move elsewhere, the fact that work have to keep working here. I’m going to The honors will culminate with a se- took the senior class to New York. To of such quality is being nourished here have to get a credit card.” nior-class trip to one of the most exciting expand it overseas this year, during a re- is a solid step toward a more rooted art art centers today, Berlin, for the Berlin cession, took some heavy-duty fundraising scene, one that can survive economic Feedback: [email protected]

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May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 45 Art & Culture Art Listings WYNWOOD GALLERY WALK & DESIGN DISTRICT www.bashagallery.net EDGE ZONES CONTEMPORARY ART ART + DESIGN NIGHT Through May 31: “RECESSION ART” with Allyson 47 NE 25th St., Miami SATURDAY, MAY 8 Krowitz, Arnaldo Rosello, Jorge Chirinos Sanchez, Kari 305-303-8852 Snyder, and Pedro Wilson www.edgezones.org 101/EXHIBIT May 8 through May 29: 101 NE 40th St., Miami BERNICE STEINBAUM GALLERY “Face to Face” with Lucas Blanco, Juan Carballo, 305-573-2101 3550 N. Miami Ave., Miami Franklin Einspruch, Ernie Sandidge, and Claudia www.101exhibit.com 305-573-2700 Scalise and “Just Friends” curated by Victor Payares May 8 through June 8: www.bernicesteinbaumgallery.com with Orlando Robaina, Herman Felipe Kaizedo, “ZEITGEIST” by Marcus Antonius Jansen May 8 through June 2: “Rise and Fall: Illusions and Mauricio Gonzales, Alvaro Ilizarbe, and Luis Pinto Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. Delusions” by Justine Smith Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. 12345 WEST DIXIE STUDIO AND GALLERY ETRA FINE ART 12345 W. Dixie Hwy., North Miami BREVARDS GALLERY 10 NE 40th St., Miami 305-895-2956 2320 N. Miami Ave., Miami 305-438-4383 www.12345westdixie.com 305-576-5747 www.etrafineart.com Through June 12: “Alternate Realities” with Randy www.brevards.com Call gallery for exhibition information. 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Except Me” by Tawnie Silva Reception May 8, 6 to 11 p.m. FREDRIC SNITZER GALLERY ALEJANDRA VON HARTZ FINE ARTS 2247 NW 1st Pl., Miami 2630 NW 2nd Ave., Miami CALDWELL / LINFIELD GALLERY & STUDIO 305-448-8976 305-438-0220 8351 NE 8th Ct., Miami www.snitzer.com www.alejandravonhartz.net 305-754-2093 May 8 through June 15: Through June 30: www.susannacaldwell.com “Paper” with various artists “the constructive élan” with various artists Ongoing: “Seductive Assemblages and Wood Reception May 8, 7 to 9 p.m. Sculpture” by Susanna Caldwell Jon Pylypchuk, (fuck it I’m done), ART FUSION mixed media on paper, 2009, at FREEDOM TOWER 1 NE 40th St., Miami CALIX GUSTAV GALLERY 600 Biscayne Blvd., Miami 305-573-5730 98 NW 29 St., Miami Fredric Snitzer Gallery. 305-237-7700 www.artfusiongallery.com 305-576-8116 Through May 29: Through June 23: “Inner Visions” with various artists www.calixgustav.com “FACES: 100 Cuban Artists” photographs by Carlos Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. Through May 29: “Sticky and Sweet” with Eurydice, DIANA LOWENSTEIN FINE ARTS Manuel Cardenes Carl Pascuzzi, Diane Arrieta, Jonathan Stein, Alexis 2043 N. 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ARTFORMZ By appointment: [email protected] DIASPORA VIBE GALLERY 171 NW 23rd St., Miami May 14 through June 13: Jen Stark and Rory 3938 NE 39th St., Miami GALERIE SCHUSTER MIAMI 305-572-0040 MacArthur 305-573-4046 2085 NW 2nd Ave., Miami www.artformz.net Reception May 14, 7 to 11 p.m. www.diasporavibe.net 786-266-2445 May 8 through August 28: “small wonders (art) salon” Through May 20: “Objects of Desire” with Rodney www.galleryschuster.com with Harumi Abe, Gustavo Acosta, Eric Anfinson, CENTER FOR VISUAL COMMUNICATION Jackson and Caiphus Moore Call gallery for exhibition information. Duane Brandt, Pip Brandt, Leah Brown, Bill Burke, 541 NW 27th St., Miami Stephanie Cunningham, Angi Curreri, Rai Escale, 305-571-1415 DIMENSIONS VARIABLE GALLERY DIET Shady Eshghi, Christian Feneck, Luis Garcia Nerey, www.visual.org 171 NE 38th St., Miami 174 NW 23rd St., Miami Paul Glass, John Gurbacs, Bryan Hiveley, Judy King, Through June 12: “Darby Bannard: The Miami Years” dimensionsvariable.net 305-571-2288 Jacek Kolasinski, Greg Latch, Leila Leder Kremer, by Darby Bannard and “Beyond the Daily Life” with May 8 through June 12: www.gallerydiet.com Silvia Lizama, Jules Lusson, John Martini, Lauren Guerra de la Paz and Teresa Diehl “The funny guy that sticks his hand in the paint can” by May 7 through June 5: McAloon, Luisa Mesa, Venessa Monokian, Hugo Reception May 4, 7 to 10 p.m. Carlos Rigau “The Sunday Painter” by JJ PEET Moro, Carol Munder, Sam Perry, Ron Pieniak, Barbara Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. Reception May 7, 6 to 9 p.m. Rivera, David Rohn, Gustavo Román, Sara Rytteke, CHAREST-WEINBERG GALLERY Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. Beatricia Sagar, Edgar Sanchez Cumbas, John 250 NW 23rd St., Miami DINA MITRANI GALLERY Sandell, Claudia Scalise, Gretchen Schargal, Shari 305-292-0411 2620 NW 2nd Ave., Miami GALLERY I/D Schemmel, Carolyn Schlam, Nina Surel, Peter Symons, www.charest-weinberg.com 786-486-7248 2531 NW 2nd Ave., Miami Chu Teppa, Paloma Teppa, Kristin Thiele, Jackie Through May 22:“10 Years” by SunTek Chung www.dinamitranigallery.com 305-778-4568 Tufford, Jovan Villalba, Daniel Viñoly, Tom Virgin, and Call gallery for exhibition information. www.galleryid.com Ramon Williams CITY LOFT ART Through May 8: Reception May 8, 4 to 10 p.m. 61 NE 40th St., Miami DORSCH GALLERY “Upstate Girls — What Became of Collar City” by 305-438-9006 151 NW 24th St., Miami Brenda Ann Kenneally BAKEHOUSE ART COMPLEX www.cityloftart.com 305-576-1278 Reception May 8, 7:30 to 10 p.m. 561 NW 32nd St., Miami Call gallery for exhibition information. www.dorschgallery.com 305-576-2828 May 7 through June 5: GIOVANNI ROSSI FINE ART www.bacfl.org CS GALLERY “Drying Flowers in a Microwave” by Corin Hewitt and 2628 NW 2nd Ave., Miami May 14 through 26: “Contemporary Landscapes” 787 NE 125th St., North Miami “Haptic” by Jacob Robichaux 561-251-1375 curated by Nina Johnson with Richard Höglund, 305-308-6561 Reception May 7, 7 to 10 p.m. www.giovannirossifineart.com Samantha Salzinger, Julia Hetchman, and more www.chirinossanchez.com Call gallery for exhibition information. Reception May 14, 7 to 10 p.m. Call gallery for exhibition information. DOT FIFTYONE ART SPACE 51 NW 36th St., Miami GODONAMERICA BAS FISHER INVITATIONAL DAVID CASTILLO GALLERY 305-573-9994 1 NE 40th St. #5, Miami 180 NE 39th St., #210, Miami 2234 NW 2nd Ave., Miami www.dotfiftyone.com 786-362-5546 By appointment: [email protected] 305-573-8110 Call gallery for exhibition information. www.godonamerica.com www.basfisherinvitational.com www.castilloart.com May 8 through June 8: Through May 31: “Miami, Miami” by Noah Sheldon May 8 through July 3: Adler Guerrier, Aramis Gutierrez, DPM GALLERY “BildoReliefos” by Alain Godon Quisqueya Henriquez, Susan Lee-Chun, Pepe Mar, 2441 NW 2nd Ave., Miami Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. BASHA GALLERY Glexis Novoa, Javier Piñón, Leyden Rodriguez- 305-576-1777 795 NE 125th St., North Miami Casanova, Frances Trombly, and Wendy Wischer www.dpmgallery.com 305-891-4624 Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. Call gallery for exhibition information. Continued on page 47

46 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Art & Culture

Art Listings MYPAC KUNSTHAUS MIAMI Jen Stark, Sunken Sediment, 3324 N. Miami Ave., Miami Continued from page 46 3312 N. Miami Ave., Miami archival colored paper and 305-981-6199 305-438-1333 Through May 29: “Yellow” with various artists HARDCORE ARTS CONTEMPORARY SPACE www.kunsthaus.org.mx foam core, light, 2010, at 3326 N. Miami Ave., Miami Through May 30: Carol Jazzar Gallery. OUR HOUSE WEST OF WYNWOOD 305-576-1645 “homo nymos” by Iván Puig 3100 NW 7th Ave., Miami www.hardcoreartcontemporary.com 305-490-2976 May 8 through July 3: LILIENTHAL ART STUDIOS www.oh-wow.com Sabrina Montiel-Soto and Lyndale Pettus 96 NW 29th St., Miami Through May 30: Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. 305-573-2002 “If You Don’t Belong, Don’t Be Long” by Scott Campbell www.ilanalilienthal.com HAROLD GOLEN GALLERY Call gallery for exhibition information. PANAMERICAN ART PROJECTS 2294 NW 2nd Ave., Miami 2450 NW 2nd Ave., Miami 305-989-3359 LOCUST PROJECTS 305-573-2400 www.haroldgolengallery.com 155 NE 38th St., Miami www.panamericanart.com May 8 through June 1: 305-576-8570 Through June 3: Gigi Leso and “Don’t Call Me Pretty: “Spunik Plunk” by Mark Atomos Pilon www.locustprojects.org Women in Arts” with Belkys Ayon, Tania Bruguera, C. Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. May 6 through June 26: “How To Read A Book” curated Ryder Cooley, Nora Correas, Andrea Cote, Antonia by Michael Wilson with Becky Beasley , Guy Ben-Ner, Eiriz, Ana Fabry, Aimee Garcia, Cristina Lucas, Jane ICON ART IMAGES GALLERY/STUDIO Lorin Davies, Harrell Fletcher, Jeff Gabel, Anna Gray and Martin, Elsa Mora, Marta Maria Perez Bravo, Sandra 147 NW 36th St., Miami Ryan Paulson, Graham Parker, Christina Pettersson, Ramos, Rosangela Renno, Graciela Sacco, Carolina 305-606-5157 Leanne Shapton, Eve Tremblay and Matt Wiegle Sardi, Vibeke Tandberg, Lucia Warck Meister, and www.cashappeal.com Conversation/Preview May 6, 6:30 p.m. Maysey Craddock Through May 31: “The Art of the NBA and Dwyane Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. MIAMI INTERNATIONAL UNIVERSITY Wade Miami Heat” with Erika King, Gary Longordo, and PRAXIS INTERNATIONAL ART OF ART AND DESIGN Kirk Maggio LYLE O. REITZEL GALLERY 2219 NW 2nd Ave., Miami 1501 Biscayne Blvd., Miami 2441 NW 2nd Ave., Miami 305-573-2900 305-428-5700,www.mymiu.com INTERFLIGHT STUDIO 305-573-1333 www.praxis-art.com Call gallery for exhibition information. 250 NW 23rd St., Miami www.artnet.com/reitzel.html Call gallery for exhibition information. 305-573-1673, www.interflightstudio.com May 8 through June 10: “Open Mind” by Raul Recio MIRIAM FERNANDES GALLERY Call gallery for exhibition information. Reception May 8, 7 to 11 p.m. SAMMER GALLERY 3618 NE 2nd Ave., Miami 82 NE 29th St., Miami 305-573-9531 KABE CONTEMPORARY MIAMI ART SPACE 305-441-2005, artnet.com/sammergallery.html www.miriamfernandes.com 123 NW 23rd St., Miami 244 NW 35th St., Miami Call gallery for exhibition information. May 8 through 27: 305-573-8142, www.kabecontemporary.com 305-438-9002 “Ipanema Colors in Miami Beach” by Marco Figueiredo Call gallery for exhibition information. www.miamiartspace.com SETH JASON BEITLEE FINE ARTS Call gallery for exhibition information. Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. 250 NW 23rd St, #202, Miami KELLEY ROY GALLERY 305-438-0218 MUSEO VAULT 50 NE 29th St., Miami MIAM-DADE COLLEGE, CENTER GALLERY www.sethjason.com 346 NW 29th St., Miami 305-447-3888 300 NE 2nd Ave., Miami Bldg. 1, Room 1365 Call gallery for exhibition information. 305-571-1175 www.kelleyroygallery.com 305-237-3696 www.museovault.com May 8 through July 31:Tom Seghi www.mdc.edu Call gallery for exhibition information. Continued on page 48 Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. Call gallery for exhibition information.

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 47 Art & Culture

Art Listings WOLFGANG ROTH & PARTNERS FINE ART Through May 16: “In Body and Soul: The Performance THE RUBELL FAMILY COLLECTION 201 NE 39th St., Miami Art of María Teresa Hincapié” by María Teresa Hincapié 95 NW 29th St., Miami Continued from page 47 305-576-6960 Through May 9: “Crome Yellow, Spring Bachelor of 305-573-6090 www.wrpfineart.com Fine Art Students’ Exhibition” with various artists www.rubellfamilycollection.com Call gallery for exhibition information. May 12 through May 23: “Creative Visions” with various Through May 29: SPINELLO GALLERY artists “Beg Borrow and Steal” with Ai Weiwei, John 155 NE 38th St., Miami WYNWOOD CENTRAL GALLERY May 26 through August 1: “Mexico” by Paul Strand Baldessari, Frank Benson, Amy Bessone, Matthew 786-271-4223, www.spinellogallery.com 2242 NW 1st Pl., Miami May 26 through August 29: “From MADI to the LUDIC Brannon, Maurizio Cattelan, Peter Coffin, George May 8 through June 1: “FEELS LIKE HOME” by Lee 305-433-3441 revolution” by Volf Roitman Condo, Aaron Curry, John Dogg, Marcel Duchamp, Materazzi www.wynwoodcentral.com May 26 through October 3: “Spiritual Healing — Gardar Eide Einarsson, Elmgreen and Dragset, Reception May 8, 7 to 10 p.m. Ongoing: Shamans of the Northwest Coast: Art and the Cultural Hans-Peter Feldmann, Urs Fischer, Dan Flavin, Kito Mbiango Approach to Healing” with various artists Robert Gober, Aneta Grzeszykowska, Wade Guyton, STASH GALLERY Guyton \ Walker, Karl Haendel, Peter Halley, David 162 NE 50th Terr., Miami YEELEN ART GALLERY LOWE ART MUSEUM, UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI Hammons, Mark Handforth, Keith Haring, Rachel 305-992-7652, www.myspace.com/stashgallery 250 NW 23rd St., Unit 306, Miami 1301 Stanford Dr., Coral Gables Harrison, Richard Hawkins, Damien Hirst, Jenny Call gallery for exhibition information. 954-235-4758 305-284-3535 Holzer, Jonathan Horowitz, Thomas Houseago, www.yeelenart.com www.lowemuseum.org Rashid Johnson, William E. Jones, Deborah Kass, STRUCTURES GALLERY Call gallery for exhibition information. Through May 9: “Annual Juried Student Competition Mike Kelley, Jeff Koons, Barbara Kruger, Jim Lambie, 80 NE 29th St., Miami Exhibition” with various artists Elad Lassry, Louise Lawler, Mark Leckey, Sherrie 305-447-3888 MUSEUM & COLLECTION EXHIBITS May 12 through June 6: “Annual Masters of Fine Arts Levine, Li Zhanyang, Glenn Ligon, Robert Longo, Through July 31: “Steel Redemption” by George Schroeder Candidates Exhibition” with various artists Nate Lowman, Nathan Mabry, Kris Martin, Paul CIFO (Cisneros Fontanals Art Foundation) McCarthy, Allan McCollum, Adam McEwen, Takashi SWAMPSPACE GALLERY 1018 N. Miami Ave., Miami MIAMI ART MUSEUM Murakami, Cady Noland, David Noonan, Richard 3821 NE 1st Ct., Miami 305-455-3380 101 W. Flagler St., Miami Prince, Charles Ray, Jason Rhoades, Stephen G. [email protected] www.cifo.org 305-375-3000 Rhodes, Bert Rodriguez, Sterling Ruby, Thomas Call gallery for exhibition information. Call for exhibition information. www.miamiartmuseum.org Ruff, David Salle, Steven Shearer, Cindy Sherman, Through June 20: “The Embodied Experience of Color” Haim Steinbach, John Stezaker, Philip Taaffe, Hank UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI PROJECTS SPACE DE LA CRUZ COLLECTION CONTEMPORARY ART by Carlos Cruz Diez Willis Thomas, Piotr Uklanski, Meyer Vaisman, Kelley 2200 NW 2nd Ave., Miami SPACE Walker, Wang Ziwei, Andy Warhol, Christopher Wool, 305-284-2542 23 NE 41st St., Miami MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART and Zhang Huan May 8 through June 1: Bianca Londono MFA Exhibition 305-576-6112 770 NE 125th St., North Miami Reception May 8, 5 to 9 p.m. www.delacruzcollection.org 305-893-6211 WORLD CLASS BOXING Through May 8: www.mocanomi.org Debra and Dennis Scholl Collection WALLFLOWER GALLERY “Tri” with Psychic Youth, Inc. featuring Aja Albertson, Through May 9: 170 NW 23rd St., Miami 10 NE 3rd St., Miami Ana Mendez, and Federico Nessi “The Sharper Image” by Cory Arcangel and “Auto 305-438-9908 305-579-0069, www.wallflowergallery.com Performance May 8, 7:30 p.m. Focus” by Ceal Floyer www.worldclassboxing.org/ myspace.com/wallflowergallery Through May 30: Through May 28: Call gallery for exhibition information. FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL UNIVERSITY FROST Serge Jolimeau and Michée Ramil Remy Anna Gaskell and Mariko Mori ART MUSEUM WHITE VINYL SPACE 10975 SW 17th St., Miami THE MARGULIES COLLECTION 3322 NW 2nd Ave., Miami 305-348-2890 591 NW 27th St., Miami 305-776-1515 thefrost.fiu.edu 305-576-1051 Compiled by Victor Barrenechea www.whitevinylspace.com Through May 16: “Taiwan Discovered: In Place and www.margulieswarehouse.com Send listings, jpeg images, and events information to Call gallery for exhibition information. Time” with various artists Call gallery for exhibition information. [email protected]

48 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Art & Culture Events Calendar Carlos Varela Stiltsville increased cultural exchanges, despite Slumdog Meets Spring Awakening Snoop Dog today’s poor relations between Havana and Washington. Varela brings his band On Thursday, May 6, to Miami for the last U.S. stop on his Momentum Dance Company “No Es el Fin” tour (“It’s Not the End”), presents Miami/Mumbai a one-night-only performance at down- Night, a provocative juxtapo- town’s Gusman theater (174 E. Flagler sition of two wildly different St.) on Saturday, May 15 at 8:00 p.m. dance styles: Bollywood Tickets at the Gusman box office or Tick- extravagance from India and etmaster. More info: 305-372-0925. the premier performance of Morningside Elementary which classical music Miami’s newest hip-hop crew, tea on the veranda at the and hip-hop share the NeSh Dance. Geeta Diaz directs Momentum visitor’s center will be Daddy, What’s a Hippie? stage. Dranoff compe- Channel your inner Zappa and bust out the dance students in original choreography accompanied by light tition winners Susan patchouli and peace signs for this year’s highlighting Mumbai’s trademark flair. NeSh guitar music and will offer and Sarah Wang will Love-In Festival on Sunday, May 16 at Dance promises a high-energy display of the traditional delicacies like team up with some of Greynolds Park (17530 W. Dixie Hwy., latest in Miami’s unique amalgam of inter- scones and desserts. Prices Miami’s best spoken- North Miami Beach) from 11:00 a.m. to national hip-hop influences. The event, part vary. For reservations call word artists, and 6:30 p.m. to celebrate the 1960s, the best of the Miami Dance Festival, begins at 6:30 305-256-8399. young Miami poets in- decade in the history of recorded time. p.m. at the Miami Beach Botanical Gardens spired by live classical (2000 Convention Center Dr.). Admission is Period. Summon your lost flower child Almost Famous and music will compete onstage in a slam, with while grooving to the sounds of the Grass free. Cash bar. Call 305-673-7256 or go to winners receiving laptop computers and momentumdance.com. Free at Midtown Roots (more than five years on Billboard’s Is your mom absolutely obsessed with cash prizes. The music and poetry mashup pop charts!). Also plugging in to play: kicks off at 7:30 p.m. in the Knight Concert Morningside Elementary American Idol? Are you secretly obsessed Rewind, The Fit, Been There Done That, with American Idol? The Shops at Midtown Hall at the Arsht Center. Admission is free, and Blackstar. There’ll be plenty of far-out Lesson Plan: Eat, Drink, Miami has the perfect gift for your mom (and but tickets are required. Visit arshtcenter. contests (hula hooping), vintage “para- and Be Jolly you), a present that both of you can enjoy org or call 305-949-6722. phernalia,” classic VW love bugs, tie-dyed What do Mark Soyka, a PTA commit- while bonding. Danny Gokey, last season’s apparel, and food — for when you get the tee, and a school vegetable garden have American Idol finalist, will be performing Orchid Madness munchies. Admission is, of course, free, in common? At Morningside Elementary his debut album live and outdoors at the Strikes Again! but the park’s normal parking fee will col- School, just about everything. The school’s Fountain Plaza on Monday, May 10. A self- The Redland International Orchid Show lected. Want more info? Visit miamidade. inspired PTA committee will host the proclaimed student of the world, Gokey’s is one of the largest in the nation, which gov/greynoldslovein. second annual Morningside Elementary lyrics are soulful and inspirational. Show is why fevered orchid-heads from all over Community Dinner on Friday, May 7 starts at 7:30 p.m. Admission is free. For descend on the county’s Fruit & Spice Park Those Homes on Stilts in from 5:30 to 7:00 p.m., uniting Miami’s more information call 305-573-3371 or visit each year. This edition takes place Friday, Upper Eastside community for a fundraiser shopmidtownmiami.com. May 14 through Sunday, May 16 from Biscayne Bay? that truly brings change. Restaurants like 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. (24801 SW 187th Listen to This… Soyka, Andiamo, Moonchine, Buena Vista The Hottest Show with the Ave.). A $7 admission lets you browse Want to show your mom you really love Bistro, Mario the Baker, and more have more than 50 display booths (judging by her? Treat her to something special a signed on, so you know the food will be Coolest Music the American Orchid Society) and enjoy week after Mother’s Day. We suggest delicious. And at a donation minimum of a According to the New York Times, Spring fancy flowers, international food, and getting out on the water in the company mere $7, everyone can afford it. Good fun, Awakening is “the most important musical guided tours of the park. Call 305-247-5727 of the voluble Paul George for his popu- a good cause, and great food. What’s not to of the decade.” No surprise it won eight or visit fruitandspicepark.org. lar boat tour of Stiltsville, the Biscayne like? Call Amanda Fischer (PTA president) Tony Awards. Now the foot-stomping, Bay colony of elevated homes with a at 786-208-1689 for more details. heart-pounding musical comes to Miami Cuba’s Carlos Varela: One most colorful past. Sponsored by the for a brief run at the Arsht Center Tues- Historical Museum of Southern Florida, day, May 11 through Sunday, May 16. Night Only Queen for a Day? Make Twelve years ago Cuban singer/song- where George is resident historian and A nontraditional coming-of-age story of preeminent tour guide, the cruise will that Every Day three teenagers in oppressive 19th-century writer Carlos Varela slipped into On Mother’s Day, Sunday, May 9, Miami and performed a couple of low- include lovely views of Key Biscayne Germany, Spring Awakening is propelled and the Cape Florida lighthouse, plus Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden will by terrific a indie-rock score. A sellout is key concerts, one of them in the back- be offering two events fit for the queen in yard of a private home. In those days, tales of Miami’s crooked past. The tour likely. Visit arshtcenter.org for more infor- departs from Bayside Marketplace on your life. (That would be your mom, of mation and to purchase tickets. Miami’s Cuban-exile community did not course!) Choose from either the brunch look kindly on musicians from Havana, Sunday, May 16 at 10:00 a.m. and lasts (10:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.) or the afternoon just as Castro’s government didn’t look approximately three hours. For reser- tea that begins promptly at 3:00 p.m. — or Haydn and Hip-Hop? Sure, kindly on Varela himself. A daring poet vations and advance payment ($39 for indulge in both. Brunch will be the cre- Why Not of immense talent, Varela has since cre- museum members, $44 for nonmembers) ation of star chefs Andrea Curto-Randazzo On Wednesday, May 12, the Dranoff In- ated space for his art in Cuba, despite a call 305-375-1621. and Frank Randazzo (of Talula fame), so ternational Two-Piano Foundation presents wary and skeptical regime. He also has expect an ingenious menu. Afternoon Piano Slam Vol. 2, a lively performance in taken advantage of a new U.S. policy of Compiled by BT intern Mandy Baca

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 49 PARK PATROL Courts, Cats, and the Creeps Modern tennis center meets Medieval monastery By Jim W. Harper attraction. Several lovely cypress trees BT Contributor are growing here, alongside ugly and invasive plants like Brazilian pepper. A at art. Crazy cat ladies. The Cat little housekeeping would help, as would Man of Key West and his troupe clearly marked signs, such as “You are Cof fearless felines. These are just about to get your shoes wet.” some of the surest signs that we are bar- The best natural element of the park reling toward the Apocalypse. Harper BT photos by Jim W. is the parking lot. Say what? The huge Then there are the fat, park cats of live oaks around it are clearly granddad- North Miami Beach. These kitties don’t dies, covered with pelts of ferns, and take no for an answer. They demand their arms throw ample shade. I’m sure what they want and get what they the cats appreciate them. need — from plentiful water bowls to a Now that I’ve eviscerated the cat kitty condo fi t for the King of the NMB park, let’s move on to more pleasant Jungle. These cats know where it’s at. pastures. The tennis center is for real The irony is that the place with without being really pricey. Residents the sweetest amenities for stray cats is get a slight discount, but nonresidents located in the park closest to the Humane can pony up for clay courts at $7 per Society of Greater Miami. What’s more, session plus $1.50 per person for lighting it’s even closer to holy ground. Some of the Laykold hard courts have been painted Sony Ericsson at night. Just north of the animal adoption “Royal Purple.” center on W. Dixie Highway stands the oldest European building in the Ameri- feature, the Judge Arthur I. Snyder Tennis PBS&J, will be cas. Seriously. The Ancient Spanish Center, honors a leading local jurist. $1,069,398 for the Monastery is one of the area’s most im- The tennis center is quite nice, actu- 2009-2010 fi scal year. pressive and unique structures, and it’s ally, and improvements are under way. More than half of this a place that every curious person should Construction crews are installing light- amount is designated visit. Not a reproduction, the monastery ing that will extend coverage to all of the for the main parking was transplanted to Miami, brick by center’s 18 tennis courts. This improve- lot and “miscella- brick, from the original in Spain that ment is the fi rst step of many that were neous amenities,” so it dates to the 12th Century. requested by City of North Miami Beach remains unclear what Sharing the property that used to in October 2009 as part of a planned would be accom- belong to the monastery is a park and expansion of the tennis center and its plished in the fi rst year tennis center with a less impressive but environs. The total cost, including the of renovations. noteworthy pedigree. The Daniel D. renovation of playing fi elds at another However, one Diefenbach Bicentennial Park is named park, is $4 million. area that really needs Grand old oak trees shade the parking areas. after a former mayor and city manager Costs for the Synder Tennis Center immediate attention of North Miami Beach. The park’s main alone, according to a proposal by fi rm and rehabilitation is the park’s overgrown southern border with For those who like it hard, the center DIEFENBACH PARK & the monastery. This jungle has gone to the has six newly painted purple courts. SNYDER TENNIS CENTER cats. Although you may not see any cats These Laykold fl exible hard courts are the NE 171st St running about, the evidence is scattered same style featured in the Sony-Ericsson Park Rating around you: green plastic bowls and take- Open at the Crandon Park Tennis Center. NE 170th St out trays placed side-by-side to serve as In between the hard and the clay courts food and water bowls. Underneath one tree is a fenced-in area with two paddleball

NE 22nd Ave 22nd NE 16851 W. Dixie Highway is a covered kitty coop with bowls tucked courts and four racquetball courts, where NE 23rd Ave W DixieDIEFENBACH Hwy North Miami Beach inside. The question now on everyone’s loners can also practice their tennis game. PARK & SNYDER TENNIS CENTER Pro shop: 305-919-0839 mind: Who is feeding these darn cats? Dehydrated? Water fountains are scat- Hours: 8:30 am-9 pm Mon- The park’s wooded area is a murder tered throughout the center. Thurs; 6 pm Fri; 5 pm Sat-Sun Biscayne Blvd scene waiting to happen. Slogging Although the hard courts are closer Picnic tables: No through these woods would demand the to the monastery and therefore more Barbecues: No use of a machete, and you would need to prone to divine intervention, the clay Picnic pavilions: Yes cut some trees, too! There are no offi cial courts are the more attractive option. A Tennis courts: Yes pathways, but there are plenty of empty walkway with two shady pavilions slices Athletic fi elds: No beer bottles, dead ends, and Deliver- through the middle of the 12 Hydrogrid Night lighting: Yes ance-style quagmires. courts, which are steps away from the Swimming pool: No If the park’s wetlands weren’t so littered and cluttered, they could be an Continued on page 51

50 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Park Patrol

Tennis center Continued from page 50

pro shop and its vending machines. They are majestically framed by rows of mature Royal Palms. The city’s plans to renovate the tennis center call for a 19th, competition court and a new clubhouse/restaurant. While these would be nice additions — the current clubhouse does seem stuck in the 1970s — these two projects can be put on hold until the scrub brush gets weeded out. Besides hosting all sorts of snow birds and local tennis teams, the tennis center has a real niche market that makes it unique. In April the center hosted the first Wheelchair Tennis Classic Champi- onship. This builds upon the center’s pro- Wetlands and a spooky wooded Kitty caper: Someone is feeding a colony of feral cats. gram of hosting wheelchair tennis every area await the adventurous. Saturday at noon. eastern edge), and the grotesque grab bag divine inspiration. It’s one of the very For those of you who don’t play the juxtaposes the Old World with the newer, that is W. Dixie Highway? few parks that has given me the heebie- game of love, set, match, there is not more messed-up one. Where else could Which leaves me with just one more jeebies, but it also gave me the strong much going on in the rest of the park. you bring together the likes of the de- question: How do I get to the beach in urge to fall prostrate before a vision of Even the cats seem to prefer the shelter ferred dream of William Randolph Hearst North Miami Beach? Roger Federer. On this day, in this vision, of the monastery next door. (who shipped the monastery to America), I’m not trying to cause trouble, but the god of tennis was herding cats. The whole scene, however, adds up to the revolutionary railroad of Henry the woods around this place give me one of those “only in Miami” oddities that Flagler (whose tracks run along the park’s the creeps, as well as a certain kind of Feedback: [email protected]

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May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 51 Columnists: Kids and the City Mother’s Little Helpers Anything that can save you time is precious, so here’s a list By Jenni Person many things that were once obscure and only BT Contributor available at health-food stores are now right there on the shelves of your local supermar- n old college friend wrote this on ket. This makes for easy one-stop shopping, her Facebook page: “Kids ruin better choices, and competitive prices instead Ayour life. I mean, they’re cute and of the expense of something otherwise I love them, but they totally ruin your life.” considered a luxury. More and more store The message was followed by the requisite brands come in natural/organic, too. Target thumbs-ups and pithy comments. sells quite a nice selection, and the Publix Sometimes you just gotta say it. And Greenwise label is expanding all the time. don’t tell me you’ve never thought it. In The Greenwise branding has also expanded this case, my friend was on her way to a organic produce departments nicely. fancy party when, moments later, cov- Educational television I know, I ered in her kid’s barf, she realized how know, TV is evil and is causing the down- much easier it’s become to just stay home fall of our society — yada yada yada (yes, on a Saturday night. that was an ironic TV reference). But you And why are we home on Satur- know, sometimes you just need the kind day nights? Because we’re exhausted, Kids are different today Netflix All hail the mailbox movies! of time and space that Max and Ruby can we’re broke, and truth be told, we’re I hear ev’ry mother say Starting at about $5 per month and based on provide. Sleep a few extra minutes on a content. We actually want to hang out Mother needs something today to an uncanny relationship between a list you weekend morning while your kids drink in with our family. I know, that’s hard calm her down control from your computer and the U.S. Jack’s Big Music Show cuddled (and quiet) to imagine for those around us who And though she’s not really ill Postal Service, this DVD rental business can next to you in your bed. Or while they remember the old selves we used to There’s a little yellow pill keep everyone in the family happy, from enjoy Discovery Kids in the family room, be — busy with parties, performanc- She goes running for the shelter of a vintage Pee Wee Herman to new releases. grab your partner and rediscover why you es, openings, fundraisers. mother’s little helper Online banking, auto-debit, and did all this in the first place. Now we look forward to the quint- And it helps her on her way, gets her bill-pay services Who has time to write IUDs and other forms of birth essential “Blockbuster Night,” so aptly through her busy day. a pile of checks? When certain bills are control you can forget about Speaking coined by corporate America, though in Of course, in the song, mother consistent amounts every time, why of grown-up sports, you spend all your fact most of us these days probably sub- overdoses. We definitely don’t want not just let them pay themselves? Being time struggling to not forget everyone’s scribe to Netflix, making it even easier that. We just want mom to be able to able to set up auto-debit payments and routines, shoe sizes, schedules, plus your to juggle life and work when the flicks breathe a little. So in honor of Mother’s bill-pay services through online banking own to-do lists for work and home, so come right to your mailbox. Saturday Day, here’s my short list of narcotics- sites easily buys a nice chunk of time and earthly pleasure should be something night at home. It’s the perfect antidote free mother’s little helper alternatives peace of mind. The cable bill gets paid that can be unfettered by accoutrements to a ridiculously hectic week — and for modern times. by the registered credit card, which gets and added time requirements. While weekends with the birthday parties and Smart phones I think smart phones paid by auto-debit from your checking spontaneity has otherwise evaporated extracurriculars and errands that can’t were invented for parents. They enable account, which has funds electronically from your life (with a few exceptions), get done during the week. multi-tasking mamas to take care of dumped into it by your employer — and a great variety of modern birth-control Speaking of antidotes, how long after business, coordinate kids, or run errands you have time to sing with your kids that regimens can now provide you with an becoming a parent did you start think- without worrying about missing an the foot bone’s connected the leg bone. invaluable gift: a delicious sense of free- ing about the Rolling Stones’ “Mother’s important communication. The ability Greenwise sections and products dom and unleashed passion. Little Helper” and totally get it? to work from virtually anywhere often Thanks to the growing interest in and What a drag it is getting old translates to more time with family. popularity of natural and organic products, Feedback: [email protected]

52 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2009 Columnists: Your Garden After the Chill, a Colorful Thrill Yes, our cold winter caused some damage, but most plants are coming back strong By Jeff Shimonski about cold damage. I also don’t know if the landscaper BT Contributor Many coconut palms explained that cool soil temperatures are showing severely can reduce root growth and the ability of t’s turning out to be a colorful spring cold-burned older foli- roots to function in tropical palm species. after all, considering the extended age. Will they recover? Palm roots may not be able to absorb Icold temperatures we had this winter. There are many water and nutrients until the soil tem- I’m seeing lots of flowering bromeliads, varieties of coconut peratures warm up and the roots begin BT photo by Jeff Shimonski with the red and pink cones of Quesnelia palms, and some of to grow once again. Cool soil tempera- species leading the way. Some neat little the Malayan types tures have been reported to be a primary Aechmea are also beginning to bloom, always seem to cause of transient manganese deficiency and the old standard Hohenbergia stel- yellow-up with cold in coconuts and to cause foliar necrosis lata, with its four-foot red inflorescences, temperatures each (damage to the leaves) of some tropical is putting on a great show. Begonias are year. This winter was palm species. blooming well too. They definitely seem different, of course, This brings me to a new state law to like the cooler evenings. If no chemi- and not necessarily taking effect in January 2014 that will re- cals are used on them, taste the flowers. because of low tem- quire all commercial fertilizer applicators They can be quite tangy. peratures, but rather to be licensed by the Florida Department I’ve noticed some wonderful flower- owing to the duration of Agriculture and Consumer Services. ing shrubs. Orange jessamine (Cestrum of the cold waves. I’ve Justicia spicigera is a striking, orange-flowered Green industry workers will need to be aurantiacum), with its yellow flowers, and been comparing stands plant that blooms throughout the year. trained in best management practices re- Panama rose (Rondeletia leucophylla), with of mixed coconut garding tree, plant, and turf fertilizer needs, its salmon-colored flowers, are showing their varieties throughout the city and have recommendation, did the landscaper along with related subjects. Individuals personalities, along with Dombeya “Semi- noticed the palms that were growing in inquire as to the type of lawn fertilizer completing the program will receive a cer- nole” and its prolific pink blooms. the healthiest conditions with the least being used? tificate they can show their customers, and Many of the flowering tree species amount of stress generally have the least I mentioned the lawn because I know they’ll know a bit more about what they’re are just spectacular. The large Bombax damage and are recovering much faster that many property owners fertilize their recommending. ceiba, with leathery red flowers, is by producing new growth. Before this grass on a regular basis. To keep a lawn The program has already begun. blooming in many areas of Miami. winter, many palms were infested with lush, dark green and growing so fast it Courses in English and Spanish have Yellow Tabebuia, the multi-hued and red palm mites, or were growing in very must mowed weekly, they like fertilizer been given, more are scheduled, and some wonderfully fragrant Bauhinia species, poor and restricted soil conditions, and with a high percentage of nitrogen. people have completed them. It is volun- and the occasional Triplaris, with its often were not receiving supplemental However, high-nitrogen fertilizer tary at this point, but since many BT read- bushy red inflorescences, are showing irrigation. Palms in such situations seem may not be good for palms and other ers are paying a lot of money to chemically off to motorists sitting in traffic. to have suffered the most damage. trees, which very often have their roots enhance their landscapes, it would be wise We do have lingering cold damage, A friend of mine who manages a underneath the lawn and must compete to ask the lawn guy if he’s certified. though. Certain tree species seem to large estate called me to say that a land- for nutrients and water. Mature trees be losing some of their lower branches. scaper was recommending applications should rarely be fertilized, and palms Jeff Shimonski is an ISA-certified mu- Clusia and some species of Tabebuia are of calcium to “bring” the cold-burned have specific nutrient needs that often nicipal arborist, director of horticulture showing a bit of lower-branch die-back, coconuts out of their unsightly condi- don’t match with the property owner’s at Jungle Island, and principal of Tropi- while new foliage is being produced on tion. I asked if the landscaper had noted desire for a lush green lawn. The fertil- cal Designs of Florida. Contact him at the upper branches. that a lush green lawn was growing up izers used for lawns can cause a nutrient [email protected]. In the case of coconut palms, I’ve to the base of the coconut palms on the imbalance in palms that actually will been getting many queries from folks property. Before making his calcium show up as a nutrient deficiency. Feedback: [email protected]

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 53 Columnists: Vino California’s Deficits Are Your Benefits Red, white, and you: Agreeable wines for $12 or less By Bill Citara too many are just shape- On the other hand, the 2007 Liberty BT Contributor less fruit blobs that reveal School Chardonnay shows off much of nothing of their vineyard the same rich, ripe, elegant character of alifornia has been taking it in the and climate and unique more expensive Chardonnays without shorts lately. The state is broker varietal character, what falling into the fat, happy, and stupid Cthan a compulsive gambler in a the French lump together hole that swallows so many California three-card-monte tournament. Its politi- under the heading terroir. Chards. Flavors of baked apple, pear, and cal system is so dysfunctional it almost That sounded like citrus make it a lot more interesting that makes the corrupt swine-weasels who a challenge: Find a few your average $12 Chardonnay. run Florida look good. Housing prices value-oriented California Sterling’s 2008 Sauvignon Blanc gets are way down, while fees, surcharges, wines that were more props for not trying to be a poor man’s and the price of just about everything than just cheap dates but Chardonnay but seems afraid to plunge else are way up. someone you’d actually into the grassy, herbal, citrusy waters of The California wine industry has like to go home with. At New Zealand Sauv Blancs, which I think been catching it in the tighty whities the top of my list are a deliver more for your money. I did like the too. Reports have sales of wines costing pair of hearty reds, both 2008 Sea Ridge Chenin Blanc, with its more than $30 a bottle down around 15 from the Central Coast Vouvray aromas of flowers and stone fruit percent, while those $100-plus “trophy region, where grapes can and a hint of tropical sweetness that would wines” made in minuscule quantities are be grown for a lot less than match up nicely with spicy seafood dishes. finding fewer and fewer takers. Winer- in pricey areas like Napa Just because California is getting in ies are sitting on thousands of bottles of and Sonoma. the shorts doesn’t mean you have to. good stuff going back several vintages, Five Rivers’ 2007 hoping they can unload when (or if) the Cabernet Sauvignon delivers much of California Merlots have taken a deserved The Pacific Edge “Hell ’n’ Back” costs Great Recession ends. Many observ- the stirring fruit intensity and complex bad rap over the years. But the 2006 But- $8.99 and Butterfield Merlot costs ers are betting they can’t, at least not underpinnings of Napa and Sonoma terfield Station may help change that. That $7.99 at the North Miami Beach at prices that will dig them out of their Cabs for an impressive $12. Its deep, extra year in the bottle helps add complexity Total Wine & More (14750 Biscayne overleveraged financial hole. inky purple color suggests the bracing and interest, as do nuances of coffee, leather, Blvd., 305-354-3270). The Biscayne The good news for vintners every- blueberry-blackberry flavors that are re- cloves, and toast that complement Merlot’s Commons Publix (14641 Biscayne where is that people are still drinking vealed in the glass, where hints of olives typical ripe cherry-berry fruit. It starts off a Blvd., 305-354-2171) has the Rex wine, albeit less expensive bottles. Sales and cassis mingle with balancing tannins little astringent but a few minutes in the glass Goliath Chardonnay for $5.99 and of wines priced from $10 to $14, which and toasty oak. mellows it out. Five Rivers Cabernet for $11.99, while just happens to be our sweet spot here at The 2007 Pacific Edge “Hell Cheap, good Pinot Noir is one of those North Miami’s Crown Wine and Spirits “Vino,” rose seven percent last year. The ’n’ Back” Zinfandel does much the oxy-type morons, and it fits the2008 (12555 Biscayne Blvd., 305-892-9463) bad news for California vintners is the same with the oft-abused Zinfandel Harlow Ridge like a glove. It does display has the Sea Ridge Chenin Blanc for growing perception that the biggest bang grape. Zin’s spicy, peppery nature is a bit of Burgundian funk in the nose, but $5.95 and Harlow Ridge Pinot Noir for for your wine-drinking buck isn’t found unrestrained in this big, bold wine, its candy fruit and tissue-thin mid-palate $8.99. The Sterling Sauvignon Blanc there but in wines from South America, but just enough soft, approachable offer little beyond that. I’d have to have a is available for $11.99 at the North Spain, Italy, even France. tannins and acidity combined with second go-round with the Rex Goliath Miami Beach ABC Fine Wine & Spirits It’s not just a matter of price but one a modest 13.5 percent alcohol level 2008 Chardonnay. The dirty, off aromas (16355 Biscayne Blvd., 305-944-6525). of character. Though inexpensive Cali- make it as easy to sip on its own as and flavors could have been the sign of a fornia wines are proliferating like mos- it is to partner with a juicy burger or bad bottle, though I wouldn’t be surprised quitoes after a summer thunderstorm, spaghetti ’n’ meatballs. if its troubles ran deeper. Feedback: [email protected]

54 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Columnists: Harper’s Environment If You Like Root Canals, You’ll Love Offshore Oil Florida moves closer to oil drilling just as the big slick moves closer to shore By Jim W. Harper When this thousands of offshore platforms. Dots, BT Contributor shift happens, dots everywhere. Moving east, the dots when the rigs simply vanish at Florida’s coastline. It pill, baby, spill? The deaths and start popping up is protected. the continuing spillage caused first in the Gulf of The coastlines of those other states S by the explosion of the Deep- Mexico and then didn’t fare so well during Hurricanes water Horizon oil rig in the Gulf of in other parts of Katrina and Rita. More than 100 rigs, Mexico on April 23 (the day after Florida, we will platforms, and pipelines had spills. Earth Day) suddenly reframed the have to amend our Take a look at another recent and conversation about opening Florida’s state’s moniker to more severe situation in Australia, which waters to drilling. It’s not going to read “The Sun- experienced a major offshore oil spill happen — this year. shine but with a in 2009 at the Montara platform. The But it almost did, and it probably 40 percent chance technology used there would be the same will. On April 9, a report from a state of afternoon oil as the technology proposed for offshore House committee concluded that new slicks State.” drilling in Florida. offshore drilling was “unlikely to pres- But it doesn’t By superimposing an image of this ent a major risk to Florida.” Two state have to happen that recent oil spill onto a map of Florida, as leaders intent on opening Florida’s way. Many people Gulf drilling stops at the Florida border, but not for was created by SkyTruth.org, it looks waters are Rep. Dean Cannon, set to are speaking up for long. like an oil slick has taken a giant bite out become the next House speaker, and common decency of Florida’s west coast. The damage ap- Sen. Mike Haridopolos, slated as the and common sense: kept us entertained, bobbing like giant pears devastating even though the oil rig next president of the Senate. Of course, Florida didn’t need oil drilling before, and tar balls in the surf. is placed 80 miles away from the coast. the biggest endorsement has come we don’t need it now. At the other end of the state, in Miami Beach is not going to stand from President Obama himself. Thousands of Floridians made Tallahassee, the oil industry had been for it, and neither are dozens of other The current spill might soon be for- this point by drawing a human line in laying it on thick. They even seduced the coastal communities. They have passed gotten, but there may be yet another trag- the sand. On February 13 at beaches Florida Solar Energy Industries Associa- resolutions to oppose offshore drilling. edy waiting to happen. Think hurricanes. across the state, including in South tion into their coalition of tar, and they One of them cites the forecast of the U.S. They are like the cavities in Florida’s Beach, protesters linked up in what seem very close to sealing the deal. Department of Energy that such “drilling teeth. We know they’re going to happen, was billed as “Hands Across the Sand.” Spill, baby, spill! would not have a significant impact on but we never know if they will require a The protest was organized statewide The main argument for oil drilling is domestic crude oil and natural gas pro- simple filling or a major root canal. To by Dave Rauschkolb and coordinated economic activity and job growth. But duction or prices before the year 2030.” date Florida has been protected from the in Miami by my friend Mike Gibaldi, putting money into the oil industry takes In other words, gas prices at the risky mixture of oil rigs and a major hur- chairman of the Surfrider Foundation it away from the faster-growing sector pump are not going down when the oil ricane. We have been flossing. South Florida Chapter. of alternative energy. Why not stimulate rigs go up. Florida residents are not But the state legislature has been That Saturday afternoon on the sand energy companies to create the power going to save money. Quite the contrary, trying to tell us that brushing is op- in South Beach, I joined hands between plants of the future? Why are we even they are going to lose their dignity. It’s a tional while feeding us the candy of a a couple from Montreal and high school having this discussion? lose-lose situation all around. petroleum-based economic stimulus. students from MAST Academy. Wear- Take a look at the situation from This is not Alaska, or Venezuela, or Last year a proposal to allow drilling ing dark colors to represent an oil slick, above — from the Google Earth Saudi Arabia. Drilling for oil is not our within three miles of Florida’s coast- hundreds of us stood with our backs to perspective. The Gulf of Mexico history, and it shouldn’t be our future. line passed in the House of Representa- the ocean on that cool, clear, oil-rig-free coastlines along Texas and bordering tives. Hello dentures! day. Dozens of surfers in black wetsuits states are full of dots representing Feedback: [email protected]

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 55 Columnists: Pawsitively Pets Your Little Bundles of Joy They may be furry and have four legs, but they’re still your kids By Lisa Hartman It can be detrimental to a pet’s BT Contributor well-being if you really believe they possess human reasoning. That’s We have brunch called anthropomorphizing — as- every Sunday at signing human behaviors, charac- “Coconuts. I order an teristics, and emotions to animals. It omelet and Dillon gets a certainly doesn’t help in dog training bowl of scrambled eggs — to believe your dog “knows” some- no salt or pepper.” thing or does something out of spite. “He’s such a good Nor is it wise to baby your pets and baby. He’s almost sleeping spoil them. But for normal day-to- through the night.” day chitchat with our friends about “Max did really great how many Frisbees Billy caught in class today. I’m taking today or who has a bellyache from him to McDonald’s to the cake they ate off the counter, it celebrate.” can be lighthearted fun. “Chester likes to sleep A few years ago a friend and with a light on.” her husband wanted a new dog. She No, these quotes told him that if they got a puppy, she aren’t from parents would have to take a year off from talking about their chil- work so she could properly raise and dren. They are actual train the dog. She’d need to be a stay- dog owners talking at-home mom! I thought it was hilari- about the furry animal “kids” that “nanny” or a neighbor to look after them always be there when you need me.” ous, though I did applaud her for making inhabit their lives. if we’re going to be home late from work. Even better, most dogs don’t talk sure that her dog was well socialized. It’s funny how, when we talk about And of course many owners have back. (Mine does, but that’s a Dalmatian You pet obsessives are not alone. I too our pets, it can sound exactly like we’re given their pets human names. In the for you!) As I write this, I’m listening talk about my dogs and their antics on the talking about little human people. How past, Buster, Ranger, and Sparky were to Dave Correale, a comedian on the phone with friends and with anyone else could it not? Pets have become so im- very common names. At the dog park Comedy Central network, in the back- who will listen. Their photographs and portant to us and such an integral part of today, you’re as likely to hear Max, ground. He just started a bit on dogs, and my boasts about them are always featured the family their lives practically mirror Mark, Madison, or Grace. someone asked him: “Wouldn’t it be great on my Facebook page. I blog about them a child’s. Pets go to school, daycare, For some of us, our pets really are if our dogs could talk and we knew what more than I do my own life. Certainly my summer camp. They have play dates like our children, whether you’re a single they’re thinking?” His reply: “No! My pets work for me and are trained while I with friends in the park. We ponder their empty-nester type like me or still have whole wonderful relationship with my dog have my dog-trainer hat on, but at home I diets. We make them appointments to see human kids at home. There is something is based on the fact that he can’t talk!” am just “mom” to my furry kids Jay-J and the dentist. We shop for winter coats and about having a warm furry body that It’s probably true. The fact that they Saffron Monsoon. A few favorites about clothing so they are warm enough in bad needs you, and can’t talk. You can look can’t talk keeps them out of a lot of my own dogs that make friends chuckle: weather. We, their doting mommies and at them and imagine they are saying trouble with us. Several of my friends “Jay-J likes to spoon under the covers.” daddies, plan our vacations around them. the most wonderful things about you. and clients with human children have “Jay-J goes to bed at 6:00 p.m.” (He We buy cars big enough to accommodate “I’m so thankful you rescued me from commented that no matter how much really does, like clockwork! He sends our growing furry family. We call their the shelter!” “I love you so much — I’ll they do for their kids, they still talk back. Continued on page 57

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56 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Columnists: Pawsitively Pets

Joy time for dinner — time to rally the troops! And so it goes at Pawsitively Petsville. the “whole family” could come. Sheesh! Continued from page 56 He is standing with his head in my lap, We talk about our pets’ behaviors It may not be smart to treat dogs like giving me his best “woe is me” expression. just as moms talk about their kids at the humans, but it sure can be fun! himself to bed.) Next he picks up Saffy’s sweater and playground. A bit silly-sounding maybe. “I hope they are all right. I forgot to wiggles around in front of me, moaning. But in this age of electronic media, our Lisa Hartman is head dog trainer and leave a light on!” If I get up, he will “herd” me — liter- pets are the “people” we see most often. founder of Pawsitively Pets. You can I and others rock our little dogs or cats ally steer me to the kitchen. His personal We can only hope our animals won’t be reach her at pawsitivelypetsonline@ in our arms like a baby. I carry Saffy on favorite move is a kind of reprimand: If “texting” us their requests anytime soon. yahoo.com or www.pawsitivelypetson- my hip sometimes while I am walking I don’t move quickly enough, including I was talking to my cousin Jamie line.com. You can also keep up with around the kitchen. She even falls asleep getting out of bed in the morning to feed about this article as she was cooking her and her dogs on Facebook at www. with her head on my shoulder. Right now it The Prince his breakfast, he will beat me salmon with green beans and lentils for profile.to/dogtrainer. is 3:00 p.m. and Jay-J is doing a lot of silly with his wagging tail. He literally twists her pug. Jamie said she was looking into things to alert me to the fact it is almost himself around to hit me with it! ways to get to Florida other than flying so Feedback: [email protected]

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 57 Commentary: Feedback

Letters That hidden area is the designated for Biscayne Park (“Amped Up,” April article by Wendy Doscher-Smith called naturist beach at Haulover Beach Park. 2009), as residents of Biscayne Park for “My So-Called Cotel Life” (March 2009). Continued from page 6 More than one million visitors each year. 45 years, we are so delighted and lucky It was quite possibly the worst And growing each year. to have a new resident like him take an article I’ve ever read. No flow, no point, Hidden Economic Resource See these websites: South Florida Free active and informative role in our village. and at times it appeared to have whole Beaches (www.sffb.com), and the Beaches Audrey Ehrhardt parts missing from it. It seemed to have Laid Bare Foundation (www.beachesfoundation.org). Biscayne Park been thrown together quickly before a I read Jack King’s column on how the Richard Mason, president deadline. It was just plain bad. sailing industry is helping tourism South Florida Free Beaches I’m not a critic, and I don’t claim to (“Sailors, Senators, and Slaves,” April Another Superlative for Miami Shores be able to do better, but that was crap, and 2009). I would like to suggest another Wendy quite frankly it shouldn’t have been pub- hidden area where tourism is flourishing I recently started work on N. Bayshore Welcome to the Hood, Gaspar! lished. I would put that writer on probation. with little publicity. Maybe worthy of Drive and picked up Biscayne Times the Regarding Gaspar González’s debut as Jon Silkworth another Jack King column? other day. I was amazed after reading an the new Biscayne Times correspondent Miami

58 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Dining guiDe

R ESTAURANT L ISTINGS The Biscayne Corridor’s most comprehensive restaurant guide. Total this month: 226. MIAMI Bali Café Brickell / Downtown 109 NE 2nd Ave., 305-358-5751 NEW THIS MONTH hongos, intensely flavorful huitlacoche and wild mush- While Indonesian food isn’t easy to find in Miami, downtown rooms, with manchego and salsa verde -- a reminder has secret stashes — small joints catering to cruise-ship and that vegetarian food need not be bland. $$-$$$ Abokado construction workers. This cute, exotically decorated café MIAMI 900 S. Miami Ave., 305-347-3700 has survived and thrived for good reason. The homey cook- Hamachi chiles rellenos? Shiso leaf “nachos” topped ing is delicious, and the friendly family feel encourages even BRICKELL / DOWNTOWN NORTH MIAMI BEACH with raw spicy tuna, kaiware sprouts, and other Asian the timid of palate to try something new. Novices will want ingredients? The Viva, a sushi roll that starts with stan- Indonesia’s signature rijsttafel, a mix-and-match collection Cvi.che 105 G-Coffee dard Japanese (spicy tuna, cucumber, avocado), adds of small dishes and condiments to be heaped on rice. Note: 105 NE 3rd Ave., 305-577-3454 3507 NE 163rd St., 305-956-5556 Latin sabor (jalapeño, cilantro), wraps it in a flour tortilla, bring cash. No plastic accepted here. $-$$ Fusion food -- a modern invention? Not in Peru, where When a cup of regular American joe is as complex and and garnishes it with heat (spicy snow crab mix)? Miami native and Euro-Asian influences have mixed for more boldly flavored as a gourmet coffeehouse’s priciest hasn’t tended to initiate too many food “firsts,” but this The Bar at Level 25 (Conrad Hotel) than a century. But chef Juan Chipoco gives the cevich- brews -- but cheaper -- the creator deserves support, Japanese/Pan-Latin fusion place is surely one. Prices are 1395 Brickell Ave., 305-503-6500 es and tiraditos served at this hot spot his own unique especially when the coffee is organic and the company higher than at neighborhood sushi spots, but in keeping On the Conrad’s 25th floor, The Bar’s picture-windowed space spin. Specialties include flash-marinated raw seafood supports fair trade and sustainable production. To with Abokado’s Mary Brickell Village neighbors. $$$$ is not just a watering hole with panoramic views. At lunch it’s creations, such as tiradito a la crema de rocoto (sliced accompany the admirable coffees and teas, G serves an elegant sandwich bar; at night it’s a raw bar (with pristine fish in citrus-spiked chili/cream sauce). But traditional paninis plus sweets ranging from guava-stuffed crois- Acqua coldwater oysters) and (best) a tapas bar serving pintxos. fusion dishes like Chinese-Peruvian Chaufa fried rice sants to gelato. Service is speedy, but a relaxed ambi- 1435 Brickell Ave., 305-381-3190 That’s just the Basque word for tapas, but here there’s (packed with jumbo shrimp, mussels, and calamari) are ance, comfortable contemporary décor, and free WiFi all Four Seasons Hotel nothing mere about the generously portioned small plates. Originally an Italian/Mediterranean restaurant, this com- They range from traditional items like cod fish equixada and also fun, as well as surprisingly affordable. $$ encourage luxuriant lingering. $ fortably elegant, upscale spot switched chefs in 2006, saffron-sautéed Spanish artichokes to inventive inspirations resulting in a complete menu renovation. Thailand’s like foie gras and goat cheese-stuffed empanadas. $$$ famed sense of culinary balance is now evident through- MIAMI AVENTURA / MIAMI GARDENS out the global (though primarily Asian or Latin American- Botequim Carioca inspired) menu, in dishes like yuzu/white soya-dressed 900 Biscayne Blvd., 305-675-1876 MIDTOWN / WYNWOOD / DESIGN DISTRICT The Grill on the Alley salad of shrimp tempura, a tender pork shank glazed with If Brazil’s cuisine were defined by the USA’s Brazilian 19501 Biscayne Blvd. (Aventura Mall), spicy Szechuan citrus sauce, or lunchtime’s rare tuna restaurants, the conclusion would be that Brazilian people Buena Vista Deli 305-466-7195 burger with lively wasabi aioli and wakame salad. For des- eat nothing but rodizio (all-you-can-eat meat), and weigh, 4590 NE 2nd Ave., 305-576-3945 Ensconced in a leather booth, with dark hardwood every- sert few chocoholics can resist a buttery-crusted tart filled on average, 400 pounds. This Brazilian pub broadens At this casual café/bakery, co-owned by Buena Vista where and a massive bar dispensing two-fisted drinks, with sinfully rich warm chocolate custard. $$$$$ the picture, with a menu that offers entrées, especially at Bistro’s Claude Postel, the day starts in authentic you’d never know you were dining in a shopping mall -- or lunch, but highlights Brazilian tapas -- mega-mini plates French fashion, with fresh breakfast breads, choco- in the new millennium. This upscale mini chain salutes Area 31 meant for sharing. Must-not-misses include pasteles late almond croissants, and other delights. At lunch America’s great grill restaurants of yesteryear, with pro- 270 Biscayne Boulevard Way, 305-524-5234 filled with shrimp and creamy catupiry cheese, beautifully cornichon-garnished baguette sandwiches (containing digious portions of charbroiled meats and seafood, plus Not that the sleek interior of this seafood restaurant seasoned bolinho de bacalau (fried salt cod dumplings), housemade pâtés, sinfully rich pork rillettes, superb classics like creamy chicken pot pie. New retro dishes are (named for fishing area 31, stretching from the Carolinas and aipim frito (house-special yuca fries, the best in salami, and other charcuterie classics) are irresistible, added quarterly, but our favorite remains Sunday night’s to South America) isn’t a glamorous dining setting. But town). $$$ and a buttery-crusted, custardy quiche plus perfectly prime rib special: a $32 hunk of juicy beef that’ll take we’d eat outside. From the expansive terrace of the dressed salad costs little more than a fast-food combo care of Monday’s meals too. $$$$$ Epic condo and hotel on the Miami River, the views of Cafeina meal. As for Postel’s homemade French sweets, if you Brickell’s high-rises actually make Miami look like a real 297 NW 23rd St., 305-438-0792 grab the last Paris-Brest, a praline butter-cream-filled Peppermill on the Waterway city. It’s hard to decide whether the eats or drinks are the This elegantly comfortable multi-room indoor/outdoor puff pastry, we may have to kill you. $-$$ 3595 NE 207th St., 305-466-2016 most impressive. The food is impeccably fresh regional venue is described as an “art gallery/lounge,” and some Charming Alpine décor and elegant yet accessible tradi- fish, prepared in a clean Mediterranean-influenced style. do come just for cocktails like the hefty café con leche Mercadito Midtown tional Continental comfort foods make this indoor/out- The cocktails are genuinely creative. Luckily you don’t martinis. But don’t overlook chef Guily Booth’s 12-item 3252 NE 1st Ave., 786-369-0423 door restaurant a perennially popular special-occasion have to choose one or the other. $$$-$$$$ menu of very tasty tapas. The signature item is a truly Some people frequent this fashionable restolounge, place to take the parents. Definitely don’t tell the folks’ jumbo-lump crab cake with no discernable binder. At festooned with graffiti-style murals designed to evoke a cardiologist about indulging in fine-dining fare from Azul one South Beach Wine & Food Festival, Martha Stewart bustling Mexican street market, just for the dangerously the precholesterol-obsession era: trout almondine with 500 Brickell Key Dr., 305-913-8254 proclaimed it the best she’d ever had. Our own prime smooth margaritas. But the main must-haves here are beurre blanc, salmon with hollandaise and creamed Floor-to-ceiling picture windows showcase Biscayne Bay. pick: melt-in-your-mouth ginger sea bass anticuchos, tacos, encased in a rarity: genuinely made-from-scratch spinach, or for super-splurgers, lobster thermidor. While But diners are more likely to focus on the sparkling raw so buttery-rich we nearly passed out with pleasure. $$ corn tortillas, small but fatly-stuffed. Of 11 varieties, our seafood is a specialty, butter-sautéed breaded schnit- bar and open kitchen, where chef Clay Conley crafts imag- favorite is the carnitas (juicy braised pork, spicy chili zels like the chicken Holsteiner (topped with capers, inative global creations – many of them combinations, Café Sambal de arbol slaw, toasted peanuts). A close second: the anchovies, and an egg) are a treat. $$$-$$$$ to satisfy those who want it all. One offering, “A Study 500 Brickell Key Dr., 305-913-8358 in Tuna,” includes tuna sashimi, Maine crab, avocado Though the Mandarin Oriental Hotel describes this space tempura, and caviar, with several Asian sauces. Moroccan as its “casual hotel restaurant,” many consider it a more lamb is three preparations (grilled chop, harissa-mari- spectacular dining setting than the upscale Azul, upstairs, nated loin, and bastilla, the famed savory-sweet Middle owing to the option of dining outdoors on a covered terrace salsa. Sadly for breakfast-brew enthusiasts, the DRB isn’t Ecco Pizzateca & Lounge Eastern pastry, stuffed with braised shank. $$$$$ directly on the waterfront. The food is Asian-inspired, with a open that early. But it is open late -- till 5:00 a.m. $$ 168 SE 1st St few Latin and Mediterranean accents. For the health-con- 305-960-1900 Balans scious, the menu includes low-cal choices. For hedonists Dolores, But You Can Call Me Lolita Masterminded by Aramis Lorie (of PS14) and partner 901 S. Miami Ave., (Mary Brickell Village), 305-534-9191 there’s a big selection of artisan sakes. $$$-$$$$$ 1000 S. Miami Ave., 305-403-3103 Brian Basti, this hip hangout was designed to entice Open until 4:00 a.m. on weekends, this London import From the stylish setting in Miami’s historic Firehouse No. downtown workers to linger after office hours. And even (Miami’s second Balans) offers a sleeker setting than its The Democratic Republic of Beer 4, one would expect a mighty pricy meal. But entrées, without the expansive, casual-chic space as bait, interna- perennially popular Lincoln Road progenitor, but the same 255 NE 14th St., 305-372-4161 which range from Nuevo Latino-style ginger/orange-glazed tionally award-winning Italian pizza chef Massimo Fabio simple yet sophisticated global menu. The indoor space The food here? Beer is food! The DRB serves 400 beers from pork tenderloin to a platter of Kobe mini-burgers, all cost Bruni’s exquisitely airy, burn-blistered pies, made from can get mighty loud, but lounging on the dog-friendly out- 55 countries, ranging from $2 Pabst Blue Ribbon to $40 either $18 or $23. And the price includes an appetizer homemade dough, could do the trick. The rest of the door terrace, over a rich croque monsieur (which comes DeuS (an 11.5% alcohol Belgian méthode Champenoise -- no low-rent crapola, either, but treats like Serrano ham organically oriented menu may also great, but with pizzas with an alluringly sweet/sour citrus-dressed side salad), a brew). But for those favoring solid snacks, tasty global small- croquetas, a spinach/leek tart with Portobello mushroom like the cream/mushroom-topped Bianca beckoning, we’ll lobster club on onion toast, some surprisingly solid Asian ish plates include fried fresh zucchini with dip (cheese recom- sauce, or shrimp-topped eggplant timbales. The best never know. $-$$$ fusion items, and a cocktail is one of Miami’s more relax- mended); chorizo with homemade cilantro mayo; or steak seats are on the glam rooftop patio. $$$ ing experiences. $$-$$$ tacos, served Mexican-style with onions, cilantro, and spicy Continued on page 60

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 59 Dining Guide

Restaurant Listings Indochine Miami’s Chophouse favorite; dinner’s strong suit is the pasta list, ranging 638 S. Miami Ave., 305-379-1525 300 S. Biscayne Blvd.,305-938-9000 from Grandma Jennie’s old-fashioned lasagna to chichi Continued from page 59 Indochine has succeeded by morphing from mere restau- Formerly Manny’s Steakhouse, Miami’s Chophouse fiocchi purses filled with fresh pear and gorgonzola. And rant into hip hangout. Copious special events draw every- retains basically everything but the famed name (from Sunday’s $15.95 brunch buffet ($9.95 for kids) – fea- one from downtown business types to the counterculture the original Manny’s in Minneapolis), and remains turing an omelet station, waffles, smoked salmon and Eos crowd. Not that there’s anything “mere” about the range Miami’s most intentionally masculine steakhouse. bagels, salads, and more – remains one of our town’s 485 Brickell Ave. (Viceroy Hotel), 305-503-0373 of food served from three Asian nations. Light eaters can Here, ensconced in your black leather booth, everything most civilized all-you-can-eat deals. $$ Unlike their Michelin-starred New Adriatic restaurant snack on Vietnamese summer rolls or Japanese sushi is humongous: dry-aged choice-grade steaks like the Anthos, in Manhattan, this venture of chef Michael rolls. For bigger appetites, there are Thai curries and Bludgeon of Beef (a boldly flavorful 40-ounce bone-in Prelude Psilakis and restaurateur Donatella Arpaia has influences Vietnamese specialties like pho, richly flavored beef soup ribeye, described as “part meat, part weapon”); king crab Adrienne Arsht Center ranging way beyond Greece to the whole Mediterranean with meatballs, steak slices, rice noodles, and add-in legs that dwarf the plate; cocktail shrimp that could swal- 1300 Biscayne Blvd., 305-949-6722 region, and even Latin America. Unchanged is Psilakis’ Asian herbs and sprouts. $$-$$$ low the Loch Ness monster whole; two-fisted cocktails Though the opening of Barton G.’s elegant performing arts solid creativity, and a beautiful sense of balance that that would fell a T-Rex. Not for the frail. $$$$$ center eatery did feature a live giraffe, the food’s actually makes even very unfamiliar combinations taste acces- Iron Sushi more grown-up than at his original SoBe spot. The concept sible. So skip the safe stuff and go for the luxuriantly 120 SE 3rd Ave., 305-373-2000 Miami’s Finest Caribbean Restaurant is prix fixe: Any three courses on the menu (meaning three custardy, egg yolk-enriched lobster and sea urchin risotto, (See Miami Shores listing) 236 NE 1st Ave., 305-381-9254 entrées if you want) for $39. Highlights include silky, tarra- or any raw seafood item, especially the unique marlin with Originally from Jamaica, proprietor Miss Pat has been gon-inflected corn/bacon chowder, beautifully plated beef pistachio, apricot, and house-cured speck. $$$-$$$$ La Loggia Ristorante and Lounge serving her traditional homemade island specialties to carpaccio with horseradish/mustard and shallot olive oil 68 W. Flagler St., 305-373-4800 downtown office workers and college students since the dipping sauces; and over-the-top playhouse desserts, one Fratelli Milano This luxuriantly neo-classical yet warm Italian restaurant early 1990s. Most popular item here might be the week- with a luscious crème fraiche ice cream pop. $$$$ 213 S. Miami Ave., 305-373-2300 was unquestionably a pioneer in revitalizing downtown. day lunch special of jerk chicken with festival (sweet-fried Downtown isn’t yet a 24/7 urban center, but it’s experi- With alternatives like amaretto-tinged pumpkin agnolloti cornmeal bread patties), but even vegetarians are well Puntino Downtown encing a mini explosion of eateries open at night. That in sage butter sauce and cilantro-spiced white bean/veg- served with dishes like a tofu, carrot, and chayote curry. 353 SE 2nd Ave., 305-371-9661 includes this family-owned ristorante, where even new- etable salad dressed with truffle oil, proprietors Jennifer All entrées come with rice and peas, fried plantains, and The first U.S. venture of a hotelier from Naples, this stylish comers feel at home. At lunch it’s almost impossible to Porciello and Horatio Oliveira continue to draw a lunch salad, so no one leaves hungry. $ little place is open Monday through Saturday for dinner resist panini, served on foccacia or crunchy ciabatta; even crowd that returns for dinner, or perhaps just stays on as well as lunch. Ambiance is fashionably cool Milanese the vegetarian version bursts with complex and comple- through the afternoon, fueled by the Lawyer’s Liquid Lunch, Morgans Restaurant rather than effusively warm Neapolitan. The food too is mentary flavors. During weekday dinners, try generous a vodka martini spiked with sweetened espresso. $$$ 28 NE 29th St., 305-573-9678 mostly contemporary rather than traditional. But in true plates of risotto with shrimp and grilled asparagus; home- Housed in a beautifully refurbished 1930s private home, Italian style, the best stuff stays simple: an antipasto plat- made pastas like seafood-packed fettuccine al scoglio; or La Moon Morgans serves eclectic, sometimes internationally influenced ter of imported cold cuts with crostini and housemade delicate Vitello alla Milanese on arugula. $$-$$$ 144 SW 8th St., 305-860-6209 contemporary American cuisine compelling enough to attract marinated veggies; crisp-fried calamari and shrimp; airy At four in the morning, nothing quells the munchies like hordes. Dishes are basically comfort food, but ultimate comfort gnocchi with sprightly tomato sauce, pools of melted Fresco California Bistro a Crazy Burger, a Colombian take on a trucker’s burger: food: the most custardy, fluffy French toast imaginable; shoe- bufala mozzarella, and fresh basil. $$-$$$ 1744 SW 3rd Ave., 305-858-0608 beef patty, bacon, ham, mozzarella, lettuce, tomato, and string frites that rival Belgium’s best; mouthwatering maple-bast- This festively decorated indoor/outdoor bistro packs a lot a fried egg, with an arepa corn pancake “bun.” While this ed bacon; miraculously terrific tofu (crisply panko-crusted and Q of party spirit into a small space, a large variety of food tiny place’s late hours (till 6:00 a.m. Friday and Saturday) apricot/soy-glazed); even a “voluptuous grilled cheese sandwich” 4029 N. Miami Ave., 305-227-2378 onto its menu. To the familiar Latin American/Italian equa- are surprising, the daytime menu is more so. In addition -- definitely a “don’t ask, don’t tell your cardiologist” item. $$-$$$ Unlike most urban barbecue joints, this neo-rustic road- tion, the owners add a touch of Cal-Mex (like Tex-Mex but to Colombian classics, there’s a salad Nicoise with grilled house uses a genuine wood/charcoal-fired Bewley pit from more health conscious). Menu offerings range from design- fresh tuna, seared salmon with mango salsa, and other Novecento Texas to flavor its subtly smoky slow-cooked barbecue. And er pizzas and pastas to custardy tamales, but the bistro’s yuppie favorites. $-$$ 1414 Brickell Ave., 305-403-0900 anyone with working taste buds will discern the difference especially known for imaginative meal-size salads, like one For those who think “Argentine cuisine” is a synonym for in chef/owner Jonathan Eismann’s vinegar-basted North featuring mandarin oranges, avocado, apple, blue cheese, La Provence “beef and more beef,” this popular eatery’s wide range of Carolina-style pulled pork, his tender-firm (rather than inau- raisins, candied pecans, and chicken on a mesclun bed. $$ 1064 Brickell Ave., 786-425-9003 more cosmopolitan contemporary Argentine fare will be a thentically falling-off-the-bone) dry-rubbed spareribs, succu- Great baguettes in the bread basket, many believe, indicate revelation. Classic parrilla-grilled steaks are here for tradi- lently fatty briskets, and juicy chickens. Tabletop housemade Garcia’s Seafood Grille and Fish Market a great meal to come. But when Miamians encounter such tionalists, but the menu is dominated by creative Nuevo sauces (particularly a piquant mustard-cider St. Louis potion) 398 NW N. River Dr., 305-375-0765 bread -- crackling crust outside; moist, aromatic, aerated Latino items like a new-style ceviche de chernia (lightly are enhancers, not essentials. $$-$$$ Run by a fishing family for a couple of generations, this interior -- it’s likely not from a restaurant’s own kitchen, but lime-marinated grouper with jalapeños, basil, and the venerable Florida fish shack is the real thing. No worries from La Provence. Buttery croissants and party-perfect pas- refreshing sweet counterpoint of watermelon), or crab ravi- The River Oyster Bar about the seafood’s freshness; on their way to the dining tries are legend too. Not so familiar is the bakery’s café com- oli with creamy saffron sauce. Especially notable are the 650 S. Miami Ave., 305-530-1915 deck overlooking the Miami River, diners can view the retail ponent, whose sandwich/salad menu reflects local eclectic entrée salads. $$-$$$ This casually cool jewel is a full-service seafood spot, as fish market. Best preparations are the simplest. When stone tastes. But French items like pan bagnats (essentially salade evidenced by tempting menu selections like soft-shell crabs crabs are in season, Garcia’s claws are as good as Joe’s but Niçoise on artisan bread) will truly transport diners to co- Oceanaire Seafood Room with grilled vegetables, corn relish, and remoulade. There considerably cheaper. The local fish sandwich is most popu- owner David Thau’s Provençal homeland. $$ 900 S. Miami Ave., 305-372-8862 are even a few dishes to please meat-and-potatoes din- lar – grouper, yellowtail snapper, or mahi mahi. $-$$ With a dozen branches nationwide, Oceanaire may seem ers, like short ribs with macaroni and cheese. But oyster Le Boudoir Brickell more All-American seafood empire than Florida fish fans will find it difficult to resist stuffing themselves silly on Giovana Caffe 188 SE 12th Terr., 305-372-233 shack, but menus vary significantly according to regional the unusually large selection, especially since oysters are 154 SE 1st Ave., 305-374-1024 At this French bakery/café, mornings start seriously, with tastes and fish. Here in Miami, chef Sean Bernal supple- served both raw and cooked – fire-roasted with sofrito but- If the menu at this charming downtown hideaway choices ranging from quality cheese, charcuterie/pâté, or ments signature starters like lump crab cakes with his ter, chorizo, and manchego. There’s also a thoughtful wine contained only one item -- pear and gorgonzola ravioli smoked salmon platters to chic Continental and complete own lightly marinated, Peruvian-style grouper ceviche. list and numerous artisan beers on tap. $$$ dressed, not drowned, in sage-spiced cream sauce -- we’d American breakfasts. At lunch, generously salad-garnished, The daily-changing, 15-20 specimen seafood selection be happy. But the café, formerly lunch-only but now serv- open-faced tartines are irresistible. But sophisticated includes local fish seldom seen on local menus: pom- Rosa Mexicano ing weekday dinners, is also justly famed for meal-size salads and homemade soups make the choice tough. And pano, parrot fish, amberjack. But even flown-in fish (and 900 S. Miami Ave., 786-425-1001 salads like grilled skirt steak atop sweetly balsamic- do not skip dessert. Superb sweets include rich almond/ the raw bar’s cold-water oysters) are ultra-fresh. $$$$ This expansive indoor/outdoor space offers a dining expe- dressed spinach (with spinach, tomatoes, bacon, hard- fresh raspberry or properly tangy lemon tarts, traditional rience that’s haute in everything but price. Few entrées boiled eggs, blue cheese, and almonds), or an especially Madeleines, airy layered mousses, and addictive mini-mac- Pasha’s top $20. The décor is both date-worthy and family-friendly lavish chicken salad with pine nuts, golden raisins, aroon sandwich cookies with daily-changing fillings. $-$$ 1414 Brickell Ave., 305-416-5116 – festive but not kitschy. And nonsophisticates needn’t apples, and basil, an Italian twist. $$ The original branch on Lincoln Road was instantly fear; though nachos aren’t available, there is nothing Martini 28 popular, and the same healthy Middle Eastern fast food scary about zarape de pato (roast duck between freshly Grimpa Steakhouse 146 SE 1st Ave., 305-577-4414 is served at several newer outlets. The prices are low made, soft corn tortillas, topped with yellow-and-habane- 901 Brickell Plaza, 305-455-4757 This stylish little lunch-only spot, a labor of love from enough that you might suspect Pasha’s was a tax write-off ro-pepper cream sauce), or Rosa’s signature guacamole This expansive indoor/outdoor Brazilian eatery is sleekly a husband-wife chef team, serves what might well be rather than a Harvard Business School project, which it en molcajete, made tableside. A few pomegranate mar- contemporary, but no worries. The classic sword-wielding the most impressive meal deal in town. From an ambi- was by founders Antonio Ellek and Nicolas Cortes. Dishes garitas ensure no worries. $$$ gauchos are here, serving a mind-reeling assortment of tious, daily-changing menu of fare that’s geographically range from falafel and gyros to more unusual items like skewered beef, chicken, lamb, pork, sausages, and fish. eclectic but prepared with solid classic technique, diners muhammara (tangy walnut spread) and silky labneh Solymar And included in the price (dinner $47, lunch $34) is the get a choice of about ten entrées (substantial stuff like yogurt cheese. Everything from pitas to lemonade is made 315 S. Biscayne Blvd., 305-371-3421 traditional belly-busting buffet of hot and cold prepared steak au poivre with Madeira cream sauce and roasted fresh, from scratch, daily. $-$$ Housed in the stunning space with great water views foods, salad, cold cuts, and cheeses. A pleasant, nontra- potatoes, or pignolia-crusted salmon with Dijon mustard originally occupied by Prime Blue Grille, Solymar similarly ditional surprise: unusual sauces like sweet/tart passion sauce, potatoes, and veggies), plus soup or salad and Peoples Bar-B-Que pursues the power lunch crowd with steaks and seafood, fruit or mint, tomato-based BBQ, and mango chutney, housemade dessert. For just $9.99. Told ya. $ 360 NW 8th St., 305-373-8080 but with a stronger Latin accent. There’s more emphasis along with the ubiquitous chimichurri. $$$$-$$$$$ Oak-smoked, falling-off-the-bone tender barbecued ribs on snacks, too, making happy hour a great time to sample MIA at Biscayne (enhanced with a secret sauce whose recipe goes back sever- $2.50 tapas like conch fritters with spicy Argentine pink Il Gabbiano 20 Biscayne Blvd., 305-642-0032 al generations) are the main draw at this Overtown institution. sauce and palmito salad, sparkling-fresh Amarillo chili- 335 S. Biscayne Blvd., 305-373-0063 At this expansive, ultra-glam restolounge, the eclectic, But the chicken is also a winner, plus there’s a full menu of spiked Peruvian shrimp ceviche, or festive fish/lump crab Its location at the mouth of the Miami River makes this mostly small-plate menu ranges from the expected soul food entrées, including what many aficionados consider sliders, along with half-off drinks. $$$-$$$$ ultra-upscale Italian spot (especially the outdoor terrace) (grilled skirt steak with chimichurri; new-style ceviches, our town’s tastiest souse. And it would be unthinkable to call it the perfect power lunch/business dinner alternative and luxe sushi rolls) to a small but tantalizing selection quits without homemade sweet potato pie or banana pudding, Soya & Pomodoro to steakhouses. And the culinary experience goes way of chef Gerdy Rodriguez’s signature creations. Lunch fare plus a bracing flop – half iced tea, half lemonade. $-$$ 120 NE 1st St., 305-381-9511 beyond the typical meat market, thanks in part to the includes modernized “Minuta” fish sandwiches (avocado/ Life is complicated. Food should be simple. That’s owner flood of freebies that’s a trademark of Manhattan’s Il habanero vinaigrette-dressed hamachi on nori Kaiser Perricone’s Armando Alfano’s philosophy, which is stated above the Mulino, originally run by Il Gabbiano’s owners. The rest rolls), while dinner offers edgier inventions like confit 15 SE 10th St., 305-374-9449 entry to his atmospheric downtown eatery. And since of the food? Pricy, but portions are mammoth. And the pork belly with a panko-crusted egg yolk capsula, the yolk Housed in a Revolutionary-era barn (moved from it’s also the formula for the truest traditional Italian food champagne-cream-sauced housemade ravioli with black nitrogen-frozen before frying to achieve a crisp crust and Vermont), this market/café was one of the Brickell area’s truffles? Worth every penny. $$$$$ delightfully improbable oozing interior. $$$ first gentrified amenities. At lunch chicken salad is a Continued on page 61

60 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Dining Guide

Restaurant Listings it’s bigger, better, and busier than it looks. Unlike many Latin American eateries, this one sticks close to the Continued from page 60 source and proves a crowd-pleaser. On weekends espe- cially, the dining rooms are packed with families enjoying (Alfano hails from Pompeii), it’s fitting that the menu is authentic fare like baleadas (thick corn tacos), tajadas dominated by authentically straightforward yet sophisti- (Honduras’s take on tostones), rich meal-in-a-bowl soups cated Italian entrées. There are salads and sandwiches, packed with seafood or meat and veggies, and more. $ too. The most enjoyable place to dine is the secret, open- air courtyard. Alfano serves dinner on Thursdays only to Bay View Grille accompany local musicians and artists. $-$$ 1633 N. Bayshore Dr. (Marriott Hotel) 305-536-6414 Thai Angel This expansive restaurant has no outdoor component, but 152 SE 1st Ave., 305-371-9748 floor-to-ceiling windows and a multi-level layout means every Inside a colorful courtyard that rather resembles table has a Biscayne Bay view, which we find particularly Munchkinland, this downtown “insider’s secret” serves seri- enjoyable in the morning, over a fresh asparagus and ous Thai food till 9:00 p.m. daily. Tasty classics like the four Boursin cheese omelet or huevos à la cubana (fried eggs curries (red, green, panang, and massaman) come custom- and cheese on black beans). Lunch and dinner menus are spiced -- mild to authentically brain-searing -- and are so a “greatest hits” mix (steaks, pasta, Caesar salad), featuring affordable there’s no guilt in splurging on superb house appealing local accents like a hefty fried or blackened grou- specials like crisp-coated duck or fresh snapper (whole or per sandwich on ciabatta roll, with remoulade sauce. $$-$$$ filleted) in tamarind sauce. The young chef has a heavenly hand at tofu, too, so vegetarians are very well-served. $$ Bengal 2010 Biscayne Blvd., 305-403-1976 Tobacco Road At this Indian eatery the décor is cool and contemporary: 626 S. Miami Ave., 305-374-1198 muted gray and earth-tone walls, tasteful burgundy ban- Prohibition-era speakeasy (reputedly a fave of Al Capone), quettes. And the menu touts “Modern Indian Cuisine” gay bar, strip club. Previously all these, this gritty spot has to match the look. Classicists, however, needn’t worry. been best known since 1982 as a venue for live music, America’s favorite familiar north Indian flavors are here, primarily blues. But it also offers food from lunchtime though dishes are generally more mildly spiced and pre- to late night (on weekends till 4:00 a.m.). The kitchen is sented with modern flair. All meats are certified halal, especially known for its chili, budget-priced steaks, and Islam’s version of kosher — which doesn’t mean that obser- burgers. There’s also surprisingly elegant fare, though, vant orthodox Jews can eat here, but Muslims can. $$$ like a Norwegian salmon club with lemon aioli. A meat- smoker in back turns out tasty ribs. $$ Bin No. 18 1800 Biscayne Blvd., 786-235-7575 Tre Italian Bistro At this wine bar/café, the décor is a stylish mix of contempo- 270 E. Flagler St., 305-373-3303 rary (high loft ceilings) and Old World (tables made from wine “Bistro” actually sounds too Old World for this cool hang- barrels). Cuisine is similarly geared to the area’s smart new out, from the owners of downtown old-timer La Loggia, but residents: creative sandwiches and salads at lunch, tapas “restolounge” sounds too glitzy. Think of it as a neighbor- and larger internationally themed Spanish, Italian, or French hood “bistrolounge.” The food is mostly modernized Italian, charcuterie platters at night. Though the place is small and with Latin and Asian accents: a prosciutto-and-fig pizza with family-run friendly, chef Alfredo Patino offers sophisticated Brazilian catupiry cheese; gnocchi served either as finger snacks like the figciutto: arugula, gorgonzola dolce, caramel- food (fried, with calamata olive/truffle aioli), or plated with ized onions, pine nuts, fresh figs, and prosciutto. Free park- orange-ginger sauce. But there are tomato-sauced meat- ing behind the building. $$ balls with ri’gawt for Grandpa Vinnie, too. $$-$$$ Buena Vista Bistro Urbanite Bistro 4582 NE 2nd Ave., 305-456-5909 62 NE 14th St., 305-374-0662 If a neighborhood eatery like this one — which serves Ambitious but neither pretentious nor pricey, this multi- supremely satisfying bistro food — were within walking room, indoor/outdoor bistro is just the sort of friendly distance of every Miami resident, we’d be a helluva hip hangout the neighborhood needs. Chef Frank Imbarlina’s food town. Like true Parisian bistros, it’s open continu- menu features hip contemporary fare like natural boar ously, every day, with prices so low that you can drop in chops with a savory-sweet soy/chopped pecan crust. Fish anytime for authentic rillettes (a rustic pâté) with a crusty fans and vegetarians will find equally enjoyable large and baguette, steak with from-scratch frites, salmon atop rata- small plates: potato-wrapped local pompano; beautifully touille, or many changing blackboard specials. Portions seasoned veg siu mai; shrimp corndogs with mustard and are plentiful. So is free parking. $$ mango dips. Other pluses include an imaginative late- night menu and free valet parking. $$-$$$ The Cheese Course 3451 NE 1st Ave., 786-220-6681 Waxy O’Connor’s Not so much a restaurant as an artisanal cheese shop with 690 SW 1st Ct., 786-871-7660 complimentary prepared foods, this place’s self-service café While the menu of this casually craic (Gaelic for “fun”) component nevertheless became an instant hit. Impeccable Irish pub will be familiar to fans of the South Beach Waxy’s, ingredients and inspired combinations make even the the location is far superior -- on the Miami River, with simplest salads and sandwiches unique -- like bacon and waterfront deck. And none of Miami’s Irish eateries offers egg, elevated by hand-crafted cream cheese, roasted red as much authentic traditional fare. Especially evocative: peppers, avocado, and chipotle mayo. Cheese platters are imported oak-smoked Irish salmon with housemade brown exceptional, and customized for flavor preference from mild bread; puff-pastry-wrapped Irish sausage rolls; lunchtime’s to bold, and accompanied by appropriate fruits, veggies, imported Irish bacon or banger “butty” sandwiches on nuts, olives, prepared spreads, and breads. $$ crusty baguettes, served with hand-cut fries, the latter par- ticularly terrific dipped in Waxy’s curry sauce. $$ Clive’s Café 2818 N. Miami Ave., 305-576-0277 Wok Town Some still come for the inexpensive, hearty American 119 SE 1st Ave., 305-371-9993 breakfasts and lunches that this homey hole-in-the-wall Judging from the takeout window, the minimalist décor has served for more than 30 years. Since about 1990, (with communal seating), and predominance of American though, when owner Pearline Murray (“Ms. Pearl” to regu- veggies on the menu, this Asian fast-food eatery, owned by lars) and cook Gloria Chin began emphasizing their native Shai Ben-Ami (a Miss Yip and Domo Japones veteran) may Jamaican specialties, the intensely spiced grilled jerk initially seem akin to those airport Oriental steam tables. chicken has been the main item here. Other favorites: Wrong. Custom-cooked by Chinese chefs, starters (like savory rice and pigeon peas; eye-opening onion/vinegar- soy/garlic-coated edamame), salads, and have-it-your-way flavored escovitch fish; sweet plantains; and cabbage that stir-fries, fried rice, or noodle bowls burst with bold, fresh redefines the vegetable. $ flavor. The proof: a startlingly savory miso beef salad, with sesame/ginger/scallion dressing. Bubble tea, too! $$ The Daily Creative Food Co. 2001 Biscayne Blvd., 305-573-4535 While the food formula of this contemporary café is Midtown / Wynwood / Design District familiar – sandwiches, salads, soups, breakfast food, and pastries, plus coffee and fruit drinks – a creative concept Adelita’s Café differentiates the place. Signature sandwiches are named 2699 Biscayne Blvd., 305-576-1262 after national and local newspapers, including Biscayne From the street (which is actually NE 26th, not Biscayne) this Honduran restaurant seems unpromising, but inside Continued on page 62

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Restaurant Listings Fratelli Lyon half-serving of spaghetti al pomodoro and respectable vino menu gets, but the mahi mahi for fish tacos comes from 4141 NE 2nd Ave., 305-572-2901 for under $30. And few can resist delicately thin, crunchy- a local supplier, and salsas are housemade daily. Niceties Continued from page 61 This Italian café has been packed since the moment it crusted pizzas like the creative Dolce e Piccante or orgasmic include low-carb tortillas and many Mexican beers. $ opened. No surprise to any who recall owner Ken Lyon’s Carbonara. Pastas are fresh; produce is largely local; the pioneering Lyon Frères gourmet store on Lincoln Road (1992- mosaic-centered décor is minimalist but inviting. And no need Lost & Found Saloon Times, giving diners something to chat about. Sandwiches 97), another joint that was exactly what its neighborhood to be wary of the warehouse district at night: Valet parking is 185 NW 36th St., 305-576-1008 and salads can also be do-it-yourself projects, with an needed. The restaurant’s artisan salumi, cheeses, flavorful free. $$-$$$ There’s an artsy/alternative feel to this casual and friend- unusually wide choice of main ingredients, garnishes, boutique olive oils, and more are so outstanding that you can’t ly Wynwood eatery, which, since opening as a weekday- breads, and condiments for the creatively minded. $ help wishing it also had a retail component. Entrées include La Provence only breakfast and lunch joint in 2005, has grown with its properly al dente pastas, plus some regional specialties like 2200 Biscayne Blvd., 305-576-8002 neighborhood. It’s now open for dinner six nights a week, Delicias Peruanas Venetian-style calves liver, rarely found outside Italy. $$$ (See Brickell / Downtown listing.) serving Southwestern-style fare at rock-bottom prices. 2590 Biscayne Blvd., 305-573-4634 Dishes like piñon and pepita-crusted salmon, chipotle- Seafood is the specialty at this pleasant Peruvian spot, as Grass Latin Café 2000 drizzled endive stuffed with lump crab, or customizable it was at the nearby original Delicias, run by members of 28 NE 40th St., 305-573-3355 2501 Biscayne Blvd., 305-576-3838 tacos average $5-$8. Also available: big breakfasts and the same family. The food is as tasty as ever, especially Chef Michael Jacobs’s menu travels beyond pan-Asian The menu is similar to that at many of our town’s Latin salads, hearty soups, housemade pastries like lemon- the reliably fresh traditional ceviches, and for those who and Mediterranean influences into the Americas. Entrées cafés, largely classic Cuban entrées and sandwiches, with crusted wild berry pie, and a hip beer and wine list. $ like their fish tangy but cooked, a mammoth jalea platter. range from comfort food (cunningly reinvented mini pot a smattering of touches from elsewhere in Latin America, As for nonseafood stuff, Peru practically invented fusion pies) to high-status extravagance (stone-seared, authen- such as a Peruvian jalea mixta (marinated mixed seafood), Maino Churrascaria cuisine (in the 1800s), such as two traditional noodle tic Kobe steak). For healthy grazers, raw-bar selections or paella Valenciana from Spain, which many Miami eateries 2201 Biscayne Blvd., 305-571-9044 dishes: tallerin saltado and tallerin verde. $$ include ceviches and a large seafood platter. There’s also consider a Latin country. What justifies the new millennium This very upscale Brazilian steakhouse has all the features a snack menu (pristine coldwater oysters, a crab salad moniker is the more modern, yuppified/yucafied ambiance, you expect, including all-you-can-eat meats carved tableside 18th Street Café timbale, parmesan-truffle shoestring fries, mini-Kobe encouraged by an expansive, rustic wooden deck. $$ and a lavish buffet. What sets Maino apart from typical rodizio 210 NE 18th St., 305-381-8006 burgers) served till the wee hours, providing a welcome palaces is its family-run feel, intimate rather than intimidating, Most of the seating in this cool little breakfast/lunch room alternative to the Boulevard’s fast food chains. $$-$$$$$ Lemoni Café plus its attention to every detail. While it’s rare at most rodizio is in a sort of giant bay window, backed with banquettes, 4600 NE 2nd Ave., 305-571-5080 joints to get meat done less than medium, Maino will cook that makes the space feel expansive. This pioneer- The Girrrlz of Sandwich The menu here reads like your standard sandwiches/salads/ to order. One other welcome difference: There are à la carte ing place deserves to survive, even if just considering 555 NE 15th St., 2nd floor (Venetia condo) starters primer. What it doesn’t convey is the freshness of starters and pastas for lighter eaters and noncarnivores, and the roast beef sandwich with creamy horseradish – an 305-374-4305 the ingredients and the care that goes into their use. Entrée- some lunch specials. Free parking, too. $$-$$$$$ inspired classic combination that makes one wonder why Riot Grrrl DIY spirit shines in the homemade soups, size salads range from an elegant spinach (goat cheese, more places in this town don’t serve it. Other culinary sweets, salads, and exceptionally tasty warm baguette pears, walnuts, raisins) to chunky homemade chicken salad Maitardi highlights include a turkey/pear/cheddar melt sandwich, sandwiches (like prosciutto and fresh mozzarella, dressed on a bed of mixed greens. Sandwiches (cold baguette subs, 163 NE 39th St., 305-572-1400 and really sinful marshmallow-topped brownies. $ with a unique sumac vinaigrette) at this concealed café, hot pressed paninis, or wraps, all accompanied by side sal- Though we admired the ambitious approach of Oak Plaza’s hidden on the Venetia condo’s mezzanine. Owners Ana ads) include a respectable Cuban and a veggie wrap with a original tenant, Brosia, this more informal, inexpensive, and Five Guys Famous Burger and Fries Oliva and Fadia Sarkis scour local markets daily for the deceptively rich-tasting light salad cream. $-$$ straightforwardly Italian concept of veteran Lincoln Road Shops at Midtown Miami freshest of ingredients, and their breads (plus light-crust- restaurateur Graziano Sbroggio seems a more universal Buena Vista Avenue, 305-571-8341 ed empanadas and sinful Ghirardelli chocolate cake) are Lime Fresh Mexican Grill lure for the Design District’s central “town square.” The No green-leaf faux health food here. You get what the name all baked in-house. On Saturdays the grrrls’ll even deliver Shops at Midtown Miami mostly outdoor space remains unaltered save a wood-burn- says, period, with three adds: kosher dogs, veggie burgers, you an elegant (yet inexpensive) breakfast in bed. $ Buena Vista Avenue, 305-576-5463 ing oven producing flavorfully char-bubbled pizza creations, and free peanuts while you wait. Which you will, just a bit, Like its South Beach predecessor, this Lime was an plus a vintage meat slicer dispensing wild boar salamino, since burgers are made fresh upon order. Available in double Joey’s Italian Café instant hit, as much for being a hip new Midtown hangout bresaola (cured beef), and other artisan salumi. Other or one-patty sizes, they’re well-done but spurtingly juicy, and 2506 NW 2nd Ave., 305-438-0488 as for its carefully crafted Tex-Mex food. The concept irresistibles: fried artichokes with lemony aioli; seafood after loading with your choice of free garnishes, even a “little” The first new restaurant in the Wynwood Café District, this is “fast casual” rather than fast food – meaning nice lasagna with heavenly dill-lobster sauce. $$-$$$ burger makes a major meal. Fries (regular or Cajun-spiced) stylish indoor/outdoor Italian hangout is as casually cool as enough for a night out. It also means ingredients are are also superior, hand-cut in-house from sourced potatoes. $ one would hope — and as affordable. There’s a five-buck always fresh. Seafood tacos are about as exotic as the Continued on page 63

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Restaurant Listings Orange Café + Art Pizzavolante But why quibble about words with so many more intriguing 2 NE 40th St., 305-571-4070 3918 N. Miami Ave., 305-573-5325 things to wrap your mouth around? The concept takes on Continued from page 62 The paintings hanging in this tiny, glass-enclosed café At this tiny pizza/mozzarella bar, Jonathan Eismann’s street-food favorites from all over Asia, housemade daily are for sale. And for those who don’t have thousands of inspired topping combos and astonishingly high-quality from quality fresh ingredients. French Culinary Institute- Mandolin Aegean Bistro dollars to shell out for the local art on the walls, less than ingredients prove that star-chef skills are not wasted on trained Richard Hales does change his menu, so we’d 4312 NE 2nd Ave., 305-576-6066 ten bucks will get you art on a plate, including a Picasso: humble fare. Carnivores must try the Cacciatorini, an advise immediately grabbing some crispy Korean chicken Inside this converted 1940s home’s blue-and-white dining chorizo, prosciutto, manchego cheese, baby spinach, ultra-thin and crispy crust with indescribably rich guancia- wings and Chinese-inspired, open-faced roast pork buns room -- or even more atmospherically, its tree-sheltered gar- and basil on a crusty baguette. Other artfully named and le (cured, unsmoked pork cheek bacon), pungent artisan with sweet chili sauce and homemade pickles. $$ den -- diners feast on authentic rustic fare from both Greece crafted edibles include salads, daily soups, several pastas pepperoni, grana padano, locally made mozzarella, and and Turkey. Make a meal of multinational mezes: a Greek (like the Matisse, fiocchi pouches filled with pears and Italian tomatoes. For meatless pies, we recommend the Sake Room sampler of creamy tzatziki yogurt dip, smoky eggplant purée, cheese), and house-baked pastries. $ Bianca, a thyme-seasoned pizza whose plentiful cheeses 275 NE 18th St., 305-755-0122 and airy tarama caviar spread; and a Turkish sampler of are beautifully balanced by bitter arugula. Bring a crowd Sake takes a back seat to sushi – and sophisticated hummus, fava purée, and rich tomato-walnut dip. The meze Out of the Blue Café and taste half-a-dozen different mozzarellas. $$ décor – at this small but sleek restolounge. Among the of mussels in lemony wine broth is, with Mandolin’s fresh- 2426 NE 2nd Ave., 305-573-3800 seafood offerings, you won’t find exotica or local catches, baked flatbread, almost a full meal in itself. $$-$$$ Forget impersonal chain coffeehouses. This artist-friendly, Primo’s but all the usual sushi/sashimi favorites, though in independent neighborhood café serves a full selection 1717 N. Bayshore Dr., 305-371-9055 more interesting form, thanks to sauces that go beyond Mario the Baker of coffee drinks made with the award-winning beans of The imposing, cavernous lobby of the Grand doesn’t have standard soy – spicy sriracha, garlic/ponzu oil, and many 250 NE 25th St., 305-438-0228 Intelligentsia, a roasting company that works directly with that “do drop in” locals’ hangout vibe. But this lively Italian more. Especially recommended: the yuzu hamachi roll, (See North Miami listing) artisan growers to encourage sustainable agriculture. spot is actually a great addition to the neighborhood. The the lobster tempura maki, and panko-coated spicy shrimp Also served: breakfast and lunch sandwiches, imaginative pizzas alone – brick-oven specimens with toppings rang- with hot-and-sour mayo and a salad. $$-$$$ Michael’s Genuine Food and Drink salads, soups, homemade pastries, and creamy fresh-fruit ing from classic pepperoni to prosciutto/arugula – would 130 NE 40th St., 305-573-5550 smoothies. With tables, sofas, and lounge chairs inside an be draw enough. But pastas also please: diners’ choice Salsa Fiesta An instant smash hit, this truly neighborhood-oriented res- old Midtown house, plus free wireless Internet access, the of starch, with mix-and-match sauces and extras. And the 2929 Biscayne Blvd., 305-400-8245 taurant from chef Michael Schwartz offers down-to-earth space is also just a pleasant place to hang out. $ price is right, with few entrées topping $20. The capper: It’s The first stateside offshoot of a popular Venezuelan mini fun food in a comfortable, casually stylish indoor/outdoor open past midnight every day but Sunday. $$ chain, this “urban Mexican grill” serves health-conscious, setting. Fresh, organic ingredients are emphasized, but Pacific Time made-fresh-daily fare similar in concept to some fast- dishes range from cutting-edge (crispy beef cheeks with 35 NE 40th St. Primo Pizza Miami casual competitors. But there are indeed differences whipped celeriac, celery salad, and chocolate reduction) to 305-722-7369 3451 NE 1st Ave., 305-535-2555 here, notably pan-Latin options: black beans as well as simple comfort food: deviled eggs, homemade potato chips Everyone knew Jonathan Eismann’s original Pacific Time, Just a few years ago, chain pizza joints were dominant red; thin, delightfully crunchy tostones (available as a with pan-fried onion dip, or a whole wood-roasted chicken. for many years Lincoln Road’s only serious restaurant. most everywhere. Today many places now offer authentic side or as the base for a uniquely tasty take on normal There’s also a broad range of prices and portion sizes to How different is its new incarnation? Very, and it’s all Italian or delicate designer pizzas. But a satisfying Brookyn- nachos). Other pluses include weekday happy hours with encourage frequent visits. Michael’s Genuine also features good, starting with far superior acoustics, an admirably style street slice? Fuhgedit. Thankfully that’s the speciality two-for-one beers -- and free parking. $-$$ an eclectic, affordable wine list and a full bar. $$-$$$$ green ecological policy, and a neighborhood-friendly of this indoor/outdoor pizzeria: big slices with chewy crusts attitude. While the addition of Mediterranean influences (made from imported NY tap water) that aren’t ultra-thin S & S Diner Mike’s at Venetia to the Pacific Rim menu may sound confusing, trust us: and crisp, but flexible enough to fold lengthwise, and medi- 1757 NE 2nd Ave., 305-373-4291 555 NE 15th St., 9th floor, 305-374-5731 A meal that includes a butter-grilled asparagus with pro- um-thick -- sturdy enough to support toppings applied with Some things never change, or so it seems at this classic This family-owned Irish pub, on the pool deck of the Venetia sciutto, soft-cooked egg Milanese, and preserved lemon; generous all-American abandon. Take-out warning: Picking diner. Open since 1938, people still line up on Saturday condo, for more than 15 years has been a popular lunch and plus an Asian-accented creamy corn/leek soup with Peeky up a whole pie? Better bring the SUV, not the Morris Mini. mornings, waiting for a seat at the counter and enor- dinner hang-out for local journalists and others who appreciate Toe crab dumplings, coriander, and mustard oil makes mous breakfasts: corned beef hash or crab cakes and honest cheap eats and drinks. Regulars know daily specials are perfect sense on the tongue. $$-$$$$ Sakaya Kitchen eggs with grits; fluffy pancakes; homemade biscuits with the way to go. Depending on the day, fish, churrasco, or roast Shops at Midtown Miami gravy and Georgia sausage – everything from oatmeal to turkey with all the trimmings are all prepared fresh. Big burgers Pasha’s Buena Vista Avenue, 305-576-8096 eggs Benedict. The lunch menu is a roll call of the usual and steak dinners are always good. A limited late-night menu 3801 N. Miami Ave., 305-573-0201 This chef-driven, fast-casual Asian eatery is more an iza- provides pizza, wings, ribs, and salad till 3:00 a.m. $-$$ (See Brickell/Downtown listing) kaya (in Japan, a pub with food) than a sakaya (sake shop). Continued on page 64

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 63 Dining Guide

Restaurant Listings sweet/salty sauce. And Peking duck is served as three tra- whole grilled Mediterranean fish (dorade or branzino), filleted Chef Creole ditional courses: crêpe-wrapped crispy skin, meat sautéed tableside. The interior is charming, and the outdoor deck on 200 NW 54th St., 305-754-2223 Continued from page 63 with crisp veggies, savory soup to finish. $$-$$$ the Little River is positively romantic. $$-$$$ Sparkling fresh Creole-style food is the star at chef/owner Wilkinson Sejour’s two tiny but popular establishments. suspects, but most regulars ignore the menu and go for W Wine Bistro Boteco While some meatier Haitian classics like griot (fried pork the daily blackboard specials. $-$$ 3622 NE 2nd Ave. 916 NE 79th St., 305-757-7735 chunks) and oxtail stew are also available – and a $3.99 305-576-7775 This strip of 79th Street is rapidly becoming a cool alt- roast chicken special – seafood is the specialty here: Sra. Martinez Both bistro and retail wine shop, this Design District spot culture enclave thanks to inviting hangouts like this rustic crevette en sauce (steamed shrimp with Creole butter 4000 NE 2nd Ave., 305-573-5474 is run by Florent Blanchet, an energetic young Frenchman indoor/outdoor Brazilian restaurant and bar. Especially sauce), lambi fri (perfectly tenderized fried conch), pois- No Biscayne Corridor resident needs to be told that this who was previously a wine distributor. His former gig led bustling on nights featuring live music, it’s even more fun son gros sel (local snapper in a spicy butter sauce), garlic lively tapas bar is the second restaurant that Upper to connections that mean if wine lovers don’t find the on Sundays, when the fenced backyard hosts an informal or Creole crabs. The Miami branch has outdoor tiki-hut Eastside homegrrrl Michelle Bernstein has opened in the bottle they want, Blanchet can probably get it within 24 fair and the menu includes Brazil’s national dish, feijoada, dining. $-$$ area. But it’s no absentee celebrity-chef gig. Bernstein hours. Food is sophisticated light bites like a shrimp club a savory stew of beans plus fresh and cured meats. is hands-on at both places. Her exuberant yet firmly sandwich with pancetta and sun-dried tomato aioli, and But the everyday menu, ranging from unique, tapas-like DeVita’s controlled personal touch is obvious in nearly four dozen smoked duck salad with goat cheese croutons and a pasteis to hefty Brazilian entrées, is also appealing – and 7251 Biscayne Blvd., 305-754-8282 hot and cold tapas on the menu. Items are frequently poached egg. At night there are tapas. $-$$ budget-priced. $$ This Italian/Argentine pizzeria, housed in a charming bun- reinvented. Keepers include wild mushroom/manchego galow and featuring a breezy patio, covers multicultural croquetas with fig jam; white bean stew; crisp-coated Le Café bases. If the Old World Rucola pizza (a classic Margherita artichokes with lemon/coriander dip; and buttery bone Upper Eastside 7295 Biscayne Blvd., 305-754-6551 topped with arugula, prosciutto, and shredded parmesan) marrow piqued with Middle Eastern spices and balanced For anyone who can’t get over thinking of French food as doesn’t do the trick, the New World Especial (a Latin pie with by tiny pickled salads. $$$ Andiamo intimidating or pretentious, this cute café with a warm hearts of palm and boiled eggs) just might. Also available are 5600 Biscayne Blvd. welcome, and family-friendly French home cooking, is pastas, salads, sandwiches, dinner entrées (eggplant parmi- Sugarcane Raw Bar Grill 305-762-5751 the antidote. No fancy food (or fancy prices) here, just giana with spaghetti, lomito steak with Argentinean potato 3250 NE 1st Ave.,786-369-0353 Sharing a building with a long-established Morningside classic comfort food like onion soup, escargot, daily fresh salad), and desserts (tiramisu or flan). $ This chic indoor/outdoor space is an offspring of Lincoln car wash, Andiamo is also part of Mark Soyka’s 55th oysters, boeuf bourguignon (think Ultimate Pot Roast), Road’s SushiSamba Dromo and a sibling of Sugarcane Street Station – which means ditching the car (in the Nicoise salad, quiche, and homemade crème brûlée. A Dogma Grill lounges in NYC and Las Vegas, but more informal than complex’s free lot across the road on NE 4th Court) is no respectable beer and wine list is a welcome addition, as 7030 Biscayne Blvd., 305-759-3433 the former and more food-oriented than the latter, as problem even if you’re not getting your vehicle cleaned is the housemade sangria. Top price for entrées is about What could induce downtown businessmen to drive to the three kitchens -- normal, raw bar, and robata charcoal grill while consuming the brick-oven pies (from a flaming open $14. $-$$ Upper Eastside to eat at a few outdoor-only tables just -- make clear. Chef Timon Balloo’s LatAsian small plates oven) that are this popular pizzeria’s specialty, along with feet from the busy Boulevard? From the day it opened, range from subtle orange/fennel-marinated salmon crudo executive chef Frank Crupi’s famed Philly cheese steak Casa Toscana people have been lining up for this stand’s sauce-gar- to intensely smoky-rich short ribs. At the daily happy hour, sandwiches. Also available are salads and panini plus rea- 7001 Biscayne Blvd. nished, all-beef, soy veggie, turkey, and chicken hot dogs. select dishes (like steamed pork buns with apple kimchi) sonably priced wines and beers, including a few unusually 305-758-3353 The 22 varieties range from simple to the elaborate (the are discounted. $$-$$$ sophisticated selections like Belgium’s Hoegaarden. $$ Tuscan-born chef/owner Sandra Stefani cooked at Athens, topped with a Greek salad, including extra-virgin Norman’s before opening this Upper Eastside jewel, olive oil dressing) to near-unbelievable combinations like Tony Chan’s Water Club Anise Taverna whose 30 original seats have been supplemented by a the VIP, which includes parmesan cheese and crushed 1717 N. Bayshore Dr., 305-374-8888 620 NE 78th St. wine room/garden for tasting events and private dining. pineapple. New addition: thick, juicy burgers. $ The décor at this upscale place, located in the Grand, 305-758-2929 Stefani travels regularly to Italy to find exciting, limited- looks too glitzy to serve anything but politely Americanized The new owners of this river shack are banking on Greek production wines and inspiration for truly Tuscan specials East Side Pizza Chinese food. But the American dumbing-down is minimal. food and festivity for success — a good bet, judging from with honest, authentic flavors, such as grilled wild boar 731 NE 79th St., 305-758-5351 Many dishes are far more authentic and skillfully prepared their wildly popular previous eatery, Ouzo. The mainly mezze sausages with lentil croquettes. Menu favorites include Minestrone, sure. But a pizzeria menu with carrot ginger than those found elsewhere in Miami, like delicate but menu ranges from traditional Greek small plates to creative pear and ricotta raviolini, grilled eggplant slices rolled soup? Similarly many Italian-American pizzerias offer flavorful yu pan quail. Moist sea bass fillet has a beautifully Mediterranean-inspired dishes like anise-scented fish cro- around herbed goat cheese and sun-dried tomatoes, and balanced topping of scallion, ginger, cilantro, and subtly quettes with spicy aioli. But don’t neglect large plates like a light ricotta tart with lemon and rosemary. $$$ Continued on page 65

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Restaurant Listings sweet plantains (plus free soup for eat-in lunchers), are Kingdom ambiance, elegantly updated retro food served with style and served for five or seven bucks. Also available are snacks 6708 Biscayne Blvd., 305-757-0074 a smile. For those feeling flush, home-style fried chicken is just Continued from page 64 like vegetarian blue corn tacos, desserts like sweet potato This indoor/outdoor sports bar serves low-priced but high- like mom used to make — in her wildest dreams. $$$ pie, and a breakfast menu featuring organic blueberry quality steaks, plus more typical bar food that’s actually far entrées like spaghetti and meatballs, but East Side also waffles with soy sausage patties. $ from the usual processed stuff. Philly cheese steak sand- Metro Organic Bistro has pumpkin ravioli in brown butter/sage sauce, wild wiches, big enough for two, are made from hand-sliced rib 7010 Biscayne Blvd., 305-751-8756 mushroom ravioli, and other surprisingly upscale choices, Gourmet Station eye; sides include fries and beer-battered onion rings, but also Big changes have come to Karma the car wash, the first including imported Peroni beer. As for the pizza, they are 7601 Biscayne Blvd., 305-762-7229 lightly lemony sautéed spinach. And the burgers rule, particu- being a separate new name for the revamped restaurant: classic pies, available whole or by the slice, made with Home-meal replacement, geared to workaholics with larly the Doomsday, a cheese/bacon/mushroom-topped two- Metro Organic Bistro, an all-organic fine-dining restaurant fresh plum tomato sauce and Grande mozzarella (con- no time to cook, has been popular for years. But the pound monster that turns dinner into a competitive sport. No where simple preparations reveal and enhance natural sidered the top American pizza cheese). Best seating for Gourmet Station has outlasted most of the competition. hard liquor, but the beer list makes up for it. $$ flavors. An entirely new menu places emphasis on grilled eating is at the sheltered outdoor picnic tables. $ Main reason: deceptive healthiness. These are meals organic meat and fish dishes. Try the steak frites — that are good for you, yet taste good enough to be bad for Luna Café organic, grass-fed skirt steak with organic chimichurri and La Q-Bana you. Favorite items include precision-grilled salmon with 4770 Biscayne Blvd., 305-573-5862 fresh-cut fries. Vegetarians will love the organic portabella 8650 Biscayne Blvd., 305-758-2550 lemon-dill yogurt sauce, and lean turkey meatloaf with The ground floor of the Wachovia Bank building may not foccacia. Dine either inside the architect-designed restau- In case you were wondering if it’s too good to be true homemade BBQ sauce – sin-free comfort food. Food is seem a particularly evocative locale for an Italian eatery, rant or outdoors on the patio. Beer and wine. $-$$$ -- it isn’t. El Q-Bano’s owners are indeed related to the available à la carte or grouped in multimeal plans custom- but once inside, the charming décor and the staff’s ebul- family that operates the original three Palacios de los ized for individual diner’s nutritional needs. $$ lient welcome indeed are reminiscent of a café in Italy. Michy’s Jugos -- which means no more schlepping way out west. The kitchen’s outstanding feature is a brick oven, which 6927 Biscayne Blvd., 305-759-2001 Recommended are moist tamales, tasty sandwiches Go To Sushi turns out designer pizzas and crisp-skinned roast chick- Don’t even ask why Michele Bernstein, with a top-chef (especially the drippingly wonderful pan con lechon), rich 5140 Biscayne Blvd., 305-759-0914 ens. Otherwise the menu holds few surprises – except résumé, not to mention regular Food Network appearanc- flan, and the fresh tropical juices that justify the afore- This friendly, family-run Japanese fast-food eatery offers the prices, unusually low for such a stylish place. No dish es, opened a homey restaurant in an emerging but far from mentioned excesses. For even heartier eaters, there’s a original surprises like the Caribbean roll (a festively green exceeds $22. $$-$$$ fully gentrified neighborhood. Just be glad she did, as you changing buffet of daily specials and sides. $-$$ parsley-coated maki stuffed with crispy fried shrimp, avo- dine on white almond gazpacho or impossibly creamy ham cado, sweet plantain, and spicy mayo), or a wonderfully Luna Corner Pizza and blue cheese croquetas. Though most full entrées also Europa Car Wash and Café healthful sesame-seasoned chicken soup with spinach, 6815 Biscayne Blvd., 305-507-9209 come in half-size portions (at almost halved prices), the tab 6075 Biscayne Blvd., 305-754-2357 rice noodles, and sizable slices of poultry. Health ensured, At this cheerful takeout/delivery place (masterminded by can add up fast. The star herself is usually in the kitchen. Giving new meaning to the food term “fusion,” Europa you can the enjoy a guiltless pig-out on Fireballs: fried the Amatruda family, pizza-makers in Italy since 1968), the Parking in the rear off 69th Street. $$$-$$$$ serves up sandwiches, salads, car washes, coffee with crois- dumplings of chicken, cabbage, and egg, crusted with concept is fast but high-quality whole pies or single slices. sants, and Chevron with Techron. Snacks match the casual quills -- really a delectable crunchy noodle mix. $ Sauce is from flavorful San Marzano tomatoes, and toppings Moonchine chicness: sandwiches like the Renato (prosciutto, hot cappic- include imported salami picante, pleasantly spicier than 7100 Biscayne Blvd. ola, pepper jack cheese, red peppers, and Romano cheese Jimmy’s East Side Diner American pepperoni. Proprietary electric ovens, designed 305-759-3999 dressing); an elaborate almond-garnished Chinese chicken 7201 Biscayne Blvd. to transform Luna’s secret 24-flour formula into perfectly Like its Brickell-area sibling Indochine, this friendly Asian salad; H&H bagels, the world’s best, flown in from NYC. 305-754-3692 pliable/foldable crusts in under five minutes, ensure consis- bistro serves fare from three nations: Japan, Thailand, And the car cleanings are equally gentrified, especially on Open for more than 30 years, Jimmy’s respects the most tently street-neat eats despite the slices’ massive size (big and Vietnam. Menus are also similar, split between Wednesdays, when ladies are pampered with $10 washes important American diner tradition: Breakfast at any pies are 20-inchers). $ traditional dishes like pad Thai and East/West fusion and glasses of sparkling wine while they wait. $ hour. Admittedly the place closes at 4:00 p.m., but still. creations like the Vampire sushi roll (shrimp tempura, There are blueberry hot cakes and pecan waffles; eggs Magnum Lounge tomato, cilantro, roasted garlic). But it also carves out its Garden of Eatin’ any style, including omelets and open-face frittatas; and 709 NE 79th St., 305-757-3368 own identity with original creations, including yellow cur- 136 NW 62nd St., 305-754-8050 a full range of sides: biscuits and sausage gravy, grits, It’s a restaurant. It’s a lounge. But it’s decidedly not a typical ry-spiced fried rice. Nearly everything is low in sodium, Housed in a yellow building that’s nearly invisible from the hash, hash browns, even hot oatmeal. Also available are Miami restolounge, or like anything else in Miami. Forbidding fat, and calories. A large rear patio is inviting for dining street, the Garden has the comfortable feel of a beach traditional diner entrées (meat loaf, roast turkey, liver from the outside, on the inside it’s like a time-trip to a cabaret and entertainment. $$-$$$ bar, and generous servings of inexpensive Afro-Caribbean and onions), plus burgers, salad platters, and homemade in pre-WWII Berlin: bordello-red décor, romantically dim light- vegan food. Large or small plates, with salad and fried chicken soup. $-$$ ing, show-tune live piano bar entertainment, and to match the Continued on page 66

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 65 Dining Guide

Restaurant Listings Revales Italian Ristorante surprises, such as a unique lobster maki that’s admittedly egg, avocado, plantains, rice, and beans. Don’t miss margin- 8601 Biscayne Blvd., 305-758-1010 huge in price ($25.95), but also in size: six ounces of crisp- ally daintier dishes like sopa de costilla, if this rich shortrib Continued from page 65 Owned by two couples (including former Village Café chef fried lobster chunks, plus asparagus, avocado, lettuce, bowl is among the daily homemade soups. Arepas include Marlon Reyes), this eclectic eatery occupies the former tobiko (flying fish), masago (smelt) roes, and special sauc- our favorite corn cake: the hefty Aura, stuffed with chorizo, Moshi Moshi space of Frankie’s Big City Grill, and fulfills much the es. Thai dishes come with a choice of more than a dozen chicharron, carne desmechada (shredded flank steak), plan- 7232 Biscayne Blvd., 786-220-9404 same purpose in the neighborhood as an all-day, family- sauces, ranging from traditional red or green curries to the tains, rice, beans, and cheese. $-$$ This offspring of South Beach old-timer Moshi Moshi is friendly place with affordable prices. The menu includes inventive, such as an unconventional honey sauce. $$$ a cross between a sushi bar and an izakaya (Japanese wraps and elaborate salads of all nations. But simple The Crab House tapas bar). Even more striking than the hip décor is the yet sophisticated Italian specialties like spaghetti ai UVA 69 1551 79th St. Causeway, 305-868-7085 food’s unusually upscale quality. Sushi ranges from fiume (with pancetta, tomato, garlic, basil, and a touch of 6900 Biscayne Blvd., 305-754-9022 Established in 1975, this Miami fish house was acquired pristine individual nigiri to over-the-top maki rolls. Tapas cream) or yellowtail française (egg-battered, with lemon- Owned and operated by brothers Michael and Sinuhé by Landry’s in 1996 and is now part of a chain. But are intriguing, like arabiki sausage, a sweet-savory pork caper-wine sauce) are the must-haves here. $$-$$$ Vega, this casual outdoor/indoor Euro-café and lounge has the classic décor (knotty pine walls, tile floors, booths, fingerling frank; rarely found in restaurants even in Japan, helped to transform the Boulevard into a hip place to hang outdoor waterfront deck) still evokes the good old days. they’re popular Japanese home-cooking items. And rice- Royal Bavarian Schnitzel Haus out. Lunch includes a variety of salads and elegant sand- Though the all-you-can-eat seafood/salad buffet ($20 based plates like Japanese curry (richer/sweeter than 1085 NE 79th St., 305-754-8002 wiches like La Minuta (beer-battered mahi-mahi with cilan- lunch, $30 dinner) is a signature, freshness fanatics Indian types) satisfy even the biggest appetites. $-$$$ With Christmas lights perpetually twinkling and party noises tro aioli and caramelized onions on housemade foccacia). will be happiest sticking to à la carte favorites like the emanating from a new outdoor biergarten, this German res- Dinner features a range of small plates (poached figs with All-American fisherman’s platters, or global specials like News Lounge taurant is owner Alex Richter’s one-man gentrification project, Gorgonzola cheese and honey balsamic drizzle) and full Szechuan shrimp, that change seasonally. $$$-$$$$ 5582 NE 4th Ct., 305-758-9932 transforming a formerly uninviting stretch of 79th Street one entrées like sake-marinated salmon with boniato mash and Mark Soyka’s new News is, as its name suggests, more a pils at a time. The fare includes housemade sausages (mild Ponzu butter sauce, and crispy spinach. $$-$$$ Japanese Market and Sushi Deli friendly neighborhood hangout and watering hole than a veal bratwurst, hearty mixed beef/pork bauernwurst, spicy 1412 79th St. Causeway, 305-861-0143 full-fledged eatery. Nevertheless the menu of light bites garlicwurst) with homemade mustard and catsup; savory yet Yiya’s Gourmet Cuban Bakery Inside a small market that is widely considered Miami’s is — along with other lures like an inviting outdoor patio near-greaseless potato pancakes; and, naturally, schnitzels, 646 NE 79th St., 305-754-3337 premier source of Japanese foodstuffs, the “Sushi Deli” and rest rooms that resemble eclectic art galleries — part a choice of delicate pounded pork, chicken, or veal patties A true community jewel, this bakery is also a most wel- restaurant component is nothing more than a lunch coun- of the reason visitors stay for hours. Especially recom- served with a half-dozen different sauces. $$-$$$ coming café, serving lunch specials from chef Delsa ter. But chef Michio Kushi serves up some sushi found mended are fat mini-burgers with chipotle ketchup; a brie, Bernardo (who co-owns the place with attorney Abbie nowhere else in town. Example: traditional Osaka-style turkey, and mango chutney sandwich on crusty baguette; Soyka Cuellar) that are homemade right down to the herbs sushi – layers of rice, seasoned seaweed, and marinated and what many feel is the original café’s Greatest Hit: 5556 NE 4th Court, 305-759-3117 grown on the bakery’s window sills. Bernardo’s pan con fresh mackerel, pressed into a square box, then cut into creamy hummus with warm pita. $ This expansive, contemporary hangout was often credited lechon sandwiches and flaky-crusted Cuban pastries are lovely one-bite sandwich squares. While raw fish is always with almost single-handedly sparking the revitalization of legend. But she also crafts treats not found at average impeccable here, some unusual vegetarian sushi cre- Red Light the Biscayne Corridor’s Upper Eastside. Soyka remains Cuban bakeries, like pizzas using housemade Indian naan ations also tempt, as do daily entrées. $ 7700 Biscayne Blvd., 305-757-7773 a solid neighborhood restaurant that is a perfect fit for bread. Additionally Bernardo carries unique treats pro- From the rustic al fresco deck of chef Kris Wessel’s its area. Comfortably priced yuppie comfort food like duced by a few friends: candies, cupcakes, and exotically Mario the Baker intentionally downwardly mobile retro-cool riverfront meatloaf with mashed potatoes, crab cakes with spicy- flavored flans. $ 1700 79th St. Causeway, 305-867-7882 restaurant, you can enjoy regional wildlife like manatees sweet slaw, a wild mushroom/smoked mozzarella pizza, (See North Miami listing) while enjoying eclectic regional dishes that range from or a Cobb salad may not be revolutionary fare, but Soyka cutting-edge (sour-orange-marinated, sous-vide-cooked continues to thrive while more ambitious, nationally pub- NORTH BAY VILLAGE Oggi Caffe Florida lobster with sweet corn sauce) to comfort (crispy- licized restaurants have come and gone. Take-out orders 1666 79th St. Causeway, 305-866-1238 breaded Old South fried green tomatoes). Not surpris- and breakfast are now available. $$-$$$ Bocados Ricos This cozy, romantic spot started back in 1989 as a pasta ingly, the chef-driven menu is limited, but several signa- 1880 79th St. Causeway, 305-864-4889 factory (supplying numerous high-profile restaurants) as ture specialties, if available, are not to be missed: BBQ Sushi Siam Tucked into a mall best known for its Happy Stork Lounge, well as a neighborhood eatery. And the wide range of bud- shrimp in a tangy Worcestershire and cayenne-spiked 5582 NE 4th Ct., 305-751-7818 this little luncheonette services big appetites. Along with the get-friendly, homemade pastas, made daily, remains the butter/wine sauce, irresistible mini conch fritters, and On the menu of sushi-bar specialties plus a small selec- usual grilled churrascos, there’s bandeja paisa, Colombia’s homemade ice cream. $$-$$$ tion of Thai and Japanese cooked dishes, there are a few sampler platter of grilled steak, sausage, chicharron, fried Continued on page 67

66 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Dining Guide

cookbook author Vatcharin Bhumichitr, you’d expect luncheonette (but with the same bargain prices), has three-course prix fixe menu should convince even the Restaurant Listings major media hype, fancy South Beach prices, and a fancy been reopened. The kitchen has also been rejuvenated, jaded that this easy-to-miss place is a must-not-miss. $$ Continued from page 66 SoBe address. Instead Bhumichitr joined forces with Day with head honcho Adam Holm (Whitticar’s original sous Longsomboon (an old Thai school pal who’d moved to chef) serving up new, globally influenced dishes like mint/ Bulldog Barbecue main draw for its large and loyal clientele. Choices range Miami) at this unpretentious, authentic (no sushi) neigh- pistachio-crusted lamb or tuna tartare with sriracha aioli, 15400 Biscayne Blvd., 305-940-9655 from homey, meaty lasagna to luxuriant crab ravioli with borhood place. Some standout dishes here are featured plus reviving old favorites like pork tenderloin with ginger- The BBQ master at this small, rustic room is pugnacious creamy lobster sauce, with occasional forays into creative in the chef’s latest tome, but with Tamarind’s very afford- caramel sauce. $$-$$$ Top Chef contender Howie Kleinberg, whose indoor electric exotica such as seaweed spaghettini, with sea scallops, able prices, you might as well let the man’s impeccably smoker turns out mild-tasting ’cue that ranges from the shitakes, and fresh tomatoes. $$-$$$ trained kitchen staff do the work for you. $$-$$$ expected pulled pork, ribs, brisket, and chicken to hot- NORTH MIAMI smoked salmon and veggie plates. There are also creative Shuckers Bar & Grill comfort food starters like BBQ chicken flatbread, salads, 1819 79th St. Causeway, 305-866-1570 MIAMI SHORES Los Antojos and sweets. Sides include refreshing slaw; beans studded “Cheap eats and a million-dollar view” is the sound bite 11099 Biscayne Blvd., 305-892-1411 with “burnt ends” (the most intensely flavored outer barbe- manager Philip Conklin uses to describe this outdoor beach Iron Sushi If it’s Sunday, it must be sancocho de gallina, Colombia’s cue chunks); and sweet potato or chipotle-spiced fries. The bar, hidden in back of a bayfront motel. The joint dates from 9432 NE 2nd Ave., 305-754-0311 national dish. If it’s Saturday, it must be ajiaco. Both are thick cost is comparatively high, but such is the price of fame. South Beach’s late 1980s revival, but the kick-off-your-shoes With three Biscayne Corridor outlets (plus several branch- chicken soups, full meals in a bowl. For Colombian-cuisine $$-$$$ vibe couldn’t be farther from SoBe glitz. The food ranges es elsewhere in town), this mostly take-out mini chain is novices, a bandeja paisa (sampler including rice, beans, from classic bar favorites (char-grilled wings, conch fritters, fast becoming the Sushi Joint That Ate Miami. And why do carne asada, chicharron, eggs, sautéed sweet plantains, and Burritos Grill Café raw or steamed shellfish) to full dinners featuring steak, Miamians eat here? Not ambiance. There isn’t any. But an arepa corn cake) is available every day, as are antojitos – 11717 Biscayne Blvd., 305-891-1041 homemade pasta, or fresh, not frozen, fish. $-$$ when friends from the Pacific Northwest, where foodies “little whims,” smaller snacks like chorizo con arepa (a corn Originally a friendly little 125th Street hole-in-the-wall that know their fish, tout the seafood’s freshness, we listen. cake with Colombian sausage). And for noncarnivores there garnered raves for its limited menu of terrifically tasty Sushi Siam There are some surprisingly imaginative makis, like the are several hefty seafood platters, made to order. $$ treats, Mario and Karina Manzanero’s café is now in 1524 NE 79th St. Causeway, 305-864-7638 Maharaja, featuring fried shrimp and drizzles of curry more sizable and atmospheric quarters. But the friendly, (See Miami / Upper Eastside listing) mayo. And where else will you find a stacked sushi (five Bagels & Co. family-run (and kid-friendly) ambiance remains, as do the assorted makis) birthday cake? $-$$ 11064 Biscayne Blvd., 305-892-2435 authentic Yucatan-style specialties. Standouts include poc- While this place is often referred to as Guns & Bagels, chuc, a marinated pork loin; tacos al pastor, stuffed with NORTH BEACH Côte Gourmet one can’t actually buy a gun here. The nickname refers subtly smoky steak, onion, cilantro, and pineapple; sinful 9999 NE 2nd Ave., #112, 305-754-9012 to its location next to a firearms shop. But there’s a lot of deep-fried tacos dorados; and signature burritos, including Café Prima Pasta If only every Miami neighborhood could have a neighbor- other stuff aside from bagels here, including a full range the Maya, filled with juicy cochinita pibil, refried beans, and 414 71st St., 305-867-0106 hood restaurant like this low-priced little French jewel. The of sandwiches and wraps. Breakfast time is busy time, pickled onions. $$ Opened in 1993 with 28 seats, this family-run landmark menu is mostly simple stuff: breakfast croissants, crêpe, with banana-walnut pancakes especially popular. But has now taken over the block, with an outdoor terrace soups, sandwiches, salads, sweets, and a few more sub- what’s most important is that this is one of the area’s few Canton Café and multi-roomed indoor space whose walls are full of stantial specials like a Tunisian-style brik (buttery phyllo sources of the real, New York-style water bagel: crunchy 12749 Biscayne Blvd., 305-892-2882 photos of their clientele, including national and local pastry stuffed with tuna, onions, potatoes, and tomatoes) outside, challengingly chewy inside. $ Easily overlooked, this strip-mall spot serves mostly celebs. Particularly popular are homemade pastas, with a mesclun side salad. But everything is homemade, Cantonese-based dishes. However, there are also about sauced with Argentine-Italian indulgence rather than including all breads, and prepared with impeccable ingre- Bocca Ristorante Italiano two dozen spicier, Szechuan-style standards like kung po Italian simplicity: crabmeat ravioletti in lobster cream dients, classic French technique, and meticulous atten- 1699 NE 123rd St., 305-891-4899 shrimp, ma po tofu, and General Tso’s chicken. And there sauce, black squid ink linguini heaped with seafood. tion to detail, down to the stylish plaid ribbons that hold One word: Spaghetti chitarra alla carbonara. Okay, four are a few imaginative new items, like the intriguingly Though romantic enough for dates, the place is quite kid- together the café’s baguette sandwiches. $-$$ words. But this one dish alone (housemade pasta whose christened “Shrimp Lost in the Forest,” Singapore curried friendly — and on the terrace, they’ll even feed Fido. $$$ square-cut, irregular texture perfectly traps maximum rice noodles, crispy shrimp with honey-glazed walnuts, Village Café amounts of a luscious pancetta/egg yolk/cream sauce) and Mongolian beef (with raw chilis and fresh Oriental Tamarind Thai 9540 NE 2nd Ave., 305-759-2211 is reason enough to return many times to this friendly basil). Delivery is available for both lunch and dinner. $$ 946 Normandy Dr., 305-861-6222 After closing for several months in early 2009, this little trattoria. Owing to a low-visibility location, Bocca When an eatery’s executive chef is best-selling Thai café, spruced up to look like a bistro rather than a is one of those “best kept secret” spots. But an $18.95 Continued on page 68

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 67 Dining Guide

Restaurant Listings Le Griot de Madame John too. Admittedly the cutesie names of many items – baygels, is many diners’ favorite on the 163rd/167th Street 975 NE 125th St., 305-892-9333 bergerrbite, Cezarrrr salad, hammm, meat-a-ball, schmopperrr “Chinatown” strip because of its superior décor. But the Continued from page 67 When Madame moved her base of operations from her Little – may cause queasiness. But the schmopperrr itself is one menu also offers well-prepared, authentic dishes like Haiti home to a real restaurant (though a very informal one, helluva high-octane veggie burger. $-$$ peppery black bean clams, sautéed mustard greens, Captain Jim’s Seafood and still mostly take-out), she began offering numerous tra- and steamed whole fish with ginger and scallions, plus 12950 W. Dixie Hwy., 305-892-2812 ditional Haitian dishes, including jerked beef or goat tassot Steve’s Pizza Chinese-American egg foo young. Default spicing is mild This market/restaurant was garnering critical acclaim even and an impressive poisson gros sel (a whole fish rubbed with 12101 Biscayne Blvd., 305-891-0202 even in Szechuan dishes marked with red-chili icons, but when eat-in dining was confined to a few Formica tables in salt before poaching with various veggies and spices). But At the end of a debauched night of excess, some paper-thin don’t worry; realizing some like it hot, the chefs will cus- front of the fish counter, owing to the freshness of its sea- the dish that still packs the place is the griot: marinated pork designer pizza with wisps of smoked salmon (or similar fluff) tomize spiciness to heroic heat levels upon request. $$ food, much of it from Capt. Jim Hanson’s own fishing boats, chunks simmered and then fried till they’re moistly tender doesn’t do the trick. Open till 3:00 or 4:00 a.m., Steve’s has, which supply many top restaurants. Now there’s a casual but inside, crisp and intensely flavored outside. $ since 1974, been serving the kind of comforting, retro pizzas Blue Marlin Fish House pleasantly nautical side dining room with booths. Whether it’s people crave at that hour. As in Brooklyn, tomato sauce is 2500 NE 163rd St., 305-957-8822 garlicky scampi, smoked-fish dip, grilled yellowtail or hog or Little Havana sweet, with strong oregano flavor. Mozzarella is applied with Located inside Oleta River State Park, this casual outdoor mutton snapper, perfectly tenderized cracked conch or conch 12727 Biscayne Blvd., 305-899-9069 abandon. Toppings are stuff that give strength: pepperoni, eatery is a rare surprise for nature lovers. The featured item is fritters, everything is deftly prepared and bargain-priced. $$ In addition to white-tablecoth ambiance, this place features sausage, meatballs, onions, and peppers. $ still the house-smoked fish this historic venue began produc- live Latin entertainment and dancing, making it a good ing in 1938, available in three varieties: salmon, mahi mahi, Casa Mia Trattoria choice when diners want a night out, not just a meal. It’s Tokyo Bowl and the signature blue marlin. But the smokehouse now also 1950 NE 123rd St., 305-899-2770 also a good choice for diners who don’t speak Spanish, but 12295 Biscayne Blvd., 305-892-9400 turns out ribs and delectable brisket. Other new additions Tucked away, off to the side on the approach to the Broad don’t worry about authenticity. Classic Cuban home-style This fast-food drive-thru (unexpectedly serene inside) is include weekend fish fries. Entry is directly from 163rd Street, Causeway and the beaches, this charming indoor/outdoor dishes like mojo-marinated lechon asado, topped with named for its feature item, big budget-priced bowls of rice or not through the main park entrance. No admission fee. $ trattoria seems to attract mostly neighborhood regulars. onions, and juicy ropa vieja are translated on the menu, noodles topped with cooked Japanese-style items like teriyaki But even newcomers feel like regulars after a few minutes, not the plate, and fancier creations like pork filet in tangy fish (fresh fish sautéed with vegetables), curried chicken and Café Boogalu thanks to the staff’s Italian ebullience. Menu offerings tamarind sauce seem universal crowd-pleasers. $$$ veggies, spicy shrimp, or gyoza dumplings in tangy sauce. 14480 Biscayne Blvd., 305-949-1900 are mostly classic comfort foods with some contemporary There’s also an all-you-can-eat deal – sushi (individual nigiri or This fast-casual Brazilian eatery is the first U.S. branch of a items as well. Housemade pastas are good enough that Mama Jennie’s maki rolls) plus tempura, teriyaki, and other cooked items for chain from Recife, where, legend has it, the food is unusu- low-carb dieters should take a break, especially for the 11720 NE 2nd Ave., 305-757-3627 $14; three bucks more for sashimi instead of sushi. $-$$ ally tasty owing to the magical influence of a sacred African tender gnocchi with pesto or better yet, delicate fagottini — For more than 35 years this beloved red-sauce joint has been rhinoceros named Boogalu, who escaped from a private “beggar’s purses” stuffed with pears and cheese. $$ drawing students and other starvation-budget diners with Venezia Pizza and Café zoo into the region’s jungles some 150 years ago. Judge for prodigious portions of lasagna, spaghetti and meatballs (the 13452 Biscayne Blvd., 305-940-1808 yourself by sampling our more modern pick, the Boogalu Chéen-huyae latter savory yet light-textured), veal marsala topped with a No frozen pizza crusts or watery mozzarella here. No salad (sesame-topped shrimp, mixed greens, sun-dried 15400 Biscayne Blvd., 305-956-2808 mountain of mushrooms, and other Italian-American belly- imported designer ingredients either. The pies are New tomato, and mozzarella, with an unusual sweet peach dress- Diners can get some Tex-Mex dishes here, if they must. busters. All pasta or meat entrées come with oil-drenched gar- York-style, but the dough is made fresh daily, and the ing). For heavier eaters there are rhino-size steak, chicken, But the specialty is Mayan-rooted Yucatan cuisine. So why lic rolls and either soup (hearty minestrone) or a salad (mixed cheese is Grande (from Wisconsin, considered America’s seafood, and pasta entrées for mouse-size prices. $$ blow bucks on burritos when one can sample Caribbean greens, tomatoes, cukes, brined olives, and pickled peppers) finest pizza topper). Also on the menu are Italian- Mexico’s most typical dish: cochinita pibil? Chéen’s authen- that’s a dinner in itself. Rustic roadhouse ambiance, notably American pastas, a large selection of hot an cold subs, China Restaurant tically succulent version of the pickle-onion-topped marinat- the red leatherette booths, add to Mama’s charm. $-$$ simple salads, and a few new protein adds – grilled 178 NE 167th St., 305-947-6549 ed pork dish is earthily aromatic from achiote, tangy from chicken breast, fried fish, or a steak. $-$$ When you have a yen for the Americanized Chinese fusion bitter oranges, and meltingly tender from slow cooking in Mario the Baker dishes you grew up with, all the purist regional Chinese a banana leaf wrap. To accompany, try a lime/soy/chili- 13695 W. Dixie Highway, 305-891-7641 Wong’s Chinese Restaurant cuisine in the world won’t scratch the itch. So the menu spiced michelada, also authentically Mexican, and possibly At this North Miami institution (opened in 1969) food is 12420 Biscayne Blvd., 305-891-4313 here, containing every authentically inauthentic Chinese- the best thing that ever happened to dark beer. $$-$$$ Italian-American, not Italian-Italian: spaghetti and meat- The menu reads like a textbook on how to please everyone, American classic you could name, is just the ticket when balls, lasagna, eggplant parmigiana, and hot or cold subs. with food ranging from traditional Chinese to Chinese- nostalgia strikes – from simple egg rolls to pressed Chef Creole No imported buffala, arugula, or other chichi stuff on the American to just plain American. Appetizers include honey almond duck (majorly breaded boneless chunks, with 13105 W. Dixie Hwy., 305-893-4246 New York-style medium-thin-crusted pizzas; the top top- garlic chicken wings or Buffalo wings. A crab-claw starter comfortingly thick gravy). $-$$ (See Miami listing) ping here is the savory housemade sausage. And no one comes with choice of pork fried rice or French fries. leaves without garlic rolls, awash in warm parsley oil and Seafood lovers can get shrimp chop suey, or salty pep- Chipotle Mexican Grill D.J.’s Diner smashed garlic. New branches are now open in Miami’s per shrimp (authentically shell-on). And New Yorkers will 14776 Biscayne Blvd., 305-947-2779 12210 Biscayne Blvd., 305-893-5250 Midtown neighborhood and in North Bay Village. $ find a number of dishes that are mainstays of Manhattan Proving that national fast-food chains don’t have to be bad Located in a Best Western motel, this place, run by a Szechuan menus but not common in Miami: cold sesame for either diners or the environment, Chipotle serves what Chinese-American family, serves mostly basic American Petit Rouge noodles, Hunan chicken, twice-cooked pork. $$ the company calls “food with integrity.” The fare is simple, diner fare – burgers, sandwiches, about a dozen dinner 12409 Biscayne Blvd., 305-892-7676 basically tacos and big burritos: soft flour or crisp corn entrées, fresh-baked apple pie, and, oddly, a whole section From the mid-1990s (with Neal’s Restaurant and later with Woody’s Famous Steak Sandwich tortillas stuffed with chipotle-marinated steak or chicken of Caesar salad variations. But it’s also a secret source for Il Migliore), local chef Neal Cooper’s neighborhood-oriented 13105 Biscayne Blvd., 305-891-1451 chunks, bolder shredded beef barbacoa, or herb-scented Chinese food, mostly chow mien/chop suey-type dishes, Italian eateries have been crowd-pleasers. While this cute The griddle has been fired up since 1954 at this indie pork carnitas. But these bites contain no evil ingredients but also a few dishes such as eggplant with garlic sauce 32-seat charmer is French, it’s no exception, avoiding pre- fast-food joint, and new owners have done little to change (transfats, artificial color/flavor, antibiotics, growth hor- and ma po tofu that are a step up in authenticity. $-$$ tense and winning fans with both classic and nouvelle bis- the time-tested formula except to stretch operating hours mones). And the food, while not the authentic Mex street tro fare: frisée salad with lardons, poached egg, and bacon into the night and expand its classic menu to include a few stuff dreams are made of, is darned tasty, too. $ Here Comes the Sun vinaigrette; truite Grenobloise (trout with lemon/caper health-conscious touches like Caesar salad, plus a note 2188 NE 123rd St, 305-893-5711 sauce); consommé with black truffles and foie gras, cov- proclaiming their oils are free of trans fats. Otherwise the Christine’s Roti Shop At this friendly natural foods establishment, one of ered by a buttery puff pastry dome; perfect pommes frites, famous steak sandwich is still a traditional Philly. Drippin’ 16721 NE 6th Ave., 305-770-0434 Miami’s first, there’s a full stock of vitamins and nutritional and equally perfect apple or lemon tarts for dessert. $$$ good burgers, too. And unlike MacChain addicts, patrons Wraps are for wimps. At this small shop run by Christine supplements. But the place’s hearty soups, large variety here can order a cold beer with the good grease. $-$$ Gouvela, originally from British Guyana, the wrapper is a far of entrées (including fresh fish and chicken as well as Sara’s more substantial and tasty roti, a Caribbean mega-crepe vegetarian selections), lighter bites like miso burgers with 2214 NE 123rd St., 305-891-3312 made from chickpea flour. Most popular filling for the flat- secret “sun sauce” (which would probably make old sneak- While this mainly vegetarian kosher place is best known for its NORTH MIAMI BEACH bread is probably jerk chicken, bone-in pieces in a spiced stew ers taste good), and daily specials are a tastier way to get pizza (New York-style medium crust or thick-crusted Sicilian, of potatoes, cabbage, carrots, onions, and more chickpeas. healthy. An under-ten-buck early-bird dinner is popular with topped with veggies and/or “meat buster” imitation meats), Bamboo Garden But there are about a dozen other curries from which to the former long-hair, now blue-hair, crowd. Frozen yogurt, it’s also offers a full range of breakfast/lunch/dinner vegetar- 1232 NE 163rd St., 305-945-1722 fresh juices, and smoothies complete the menu. $-$$ ian cuisine of all nations, with many dairy and seafood items Big enough for a banquet (up to 300 guests), this veteran Continued on page 69

68 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Dining Guide

Restaurant Listings tuna-melt couples from Venus and Mars, it remains the or Heelsha curry (succulently spiced hilsa, Bangladesh’s (especially if you grab one of the exotically draped booths) ideal dinner date destination. $$-$$$ sweet-fleshed national fish) seem familiar, it’s because has been a popular destination for reasonably priced Continued from page 68 chef/owner Bithi Begum and her husband Tipu Raman north Indian fare. Kormas are properly soothing and Hiro Japanese Restaurant once served such fare at the critically acclaimed Renaisa. vindaloos are satisfactorily searing, but the kitchen will choose. Take-out packages of plain roti are also available; 3007 NE 163rd St., 305-948-3687 Their menu’s mix-and-match option allows diners to pair adjust seasonings upon request. They aim to please. Food they transform myriad leftovers into tasty, portable lunches. $ One of Miami’s first sushi restaurants, Hiro retains an their choice of meat, poultry, fish, or vegetable with more arrives unusually fast for an Indian eatery, too. $$ amusing retro-glam feel, an extensive menu of both sushi than a dozen regional sauces, from familiar Indian styles Flamma Brazilian Steakhouse and cooked Japanese food, and late hours that make it to exotica like satkara, flavored with a Bangladeshi citrus King Palace 3913 NE 163rd St., (Intracoastal Mall) a perennially popular after-hours snack stop. The sushi reminiscent of sour orange. $$-$$$ 330 NE 167th St., 305-949-2339 305-957-9900 menu has few surprises, but quality is reliable. Most The specialties here are authentic Chinatown-style barbe- The rodizio formula is familiar: Pay one price ($39.90 for exceptional are the nicely priced yakitori, skewers of suc- Iron Sushi cue (whole ducks, roast pork strips, and more, displayed dinner, $29.90 at Sunday brunch), then eat till you drop culently soy-glazed and grilled meat, fish, and vegetables; 16350 W. Dixie Hwy., 305-945-2244 in a glass case by the door), and fresh seafood dishes, from a groaning salad/appetizer bar and a massive selec- the unusually large variety available of the last makes this (See Miami Shores listing)? the best made with the live fish swimming in two tanks tion of beef, pork, lamb, poultry, sausage, and fish (16 vari- place a good choice for vegetarians. $$ by the dining room entrance. There’s also a better-than- eties at dinner; 5 at brunch) carved tableside by costumed Jerusalem Market and Deli average selection of seasonal Chinese veggies. The menu waiters. What spectacularly differentiates Flamma: its set- Hiro’s Sushi Express 16275 Biscayne Blvd., 305-948-9080 is extensive, but the best ordering strategy, since the ting on the Intracoastal Waterway. But also spectacular is 17048 W. Dixie Hwy., 305-949-0776 Specialties like shawarma, spinach pies, kebabs, hum- place is usually packed with Asians, is to see what looks a Monday-Thursday two-for-one dinner deal with a coupon Tiny, true, but there’s more than just sushi at this mostly mus, and kibbeh (a savory mix of ground lamb and bul- good on nearby tables, and point. $$ available at Flamma. Unbelievable but true. $$$$ take-out spin-off of the pioneering Hiro. Makis are the gur) are native to many Middle East countries, but when a mainstay (standard stuff like California rolls, more complex Lebanese chef/owner, like this eatery’s Sam Elzoor, is at Lime Fresh Mexican Grill El Gran Inka creations like multi-veg futomaki, and a few unexpected the helm, you can expect extraordinary refinement. There 14831 Biscayne Blvd., 305-949-8800 3155 NE 163rd St., 305-940-4910 treats like a spicy Crunch & Caliente maki), available à la are elaborate daily specials here, like lemon chicken or (See Midtown / Wynwood / Design District listing) Though diners at this upscale Peruvian eatery will find carte or in value-priced individual and party combo platters. stuffed cabbage with a variety of sides, but even a com- ceviches, a hefty fried-seafood jalea, and Peru’s other But there are also bento boxes featuring tempura, yakitori mon falafel sandwich is special when the pita is also Laurenzo’s Market Café expected traditional specialties, all presented far more skewers, teriyaki, stir-fried veggies, and udon noodles. stuffed with housemade cabbage and onion salads, plus 16385 W. Dixie Hwy., 305-945-6381 elegantly than most in town, the contemporary Peruvian Another branch is now open in Miami’s Upper Eastside. $ unusually rich and tart tahina. $-$$ It’s just a small area between the wines and the fridge fusion creations are unique. Especially recommended are counters – no potted palms, and next-to-no service in this two dishes adapted from recipes by Peru’s influential nik- Hiro’s Yakko-San Kabobji cafeteria-style space. But when negotiating this international kei (Japanese/Creole) chef Rosita Yimura: an exquisite, 17040 W. Dixie Hwy., 305-947-0064 3055 NE 163rd St., 305-354-8484 gourmet market’s packed shelves and crowds has depleted delicately sauced tiradito de corvina, and for those with After sushi chefs close up their own restaurants for the This place makes a very good tahini sauce. In fact that your energies, it’s a handy place to refuel with eggplant no fear of cholesterol, pulpo de oliva (octopus topped with night, many come here for a rare taste of Japanese home alone is reason enough to visit. We prefer ours with this parmesan and similar Italian-American classics, housemade rich olive sauce). $$$-$$$$ cooking, served in grazing portions. Try glistening-fresh bright, cheery eatery’s delightfully oniony falafel or a veg- from old family recipes. Just a few spoonfuls of Wednesday’s strips of raw tuna can be had in maguro nuta – mixed garnished wrap of thin-sliced marinated beef schwarma. hearty pasta fagiole, one of the daily soup specials, could Hanna’s Gourmet Diner with scallions and dressed with habit-forming honey-miso They also do a beautifully spiced, and reassuringly fresh- keep a person shopping for hours. And now that pizza mas- 13951 Biscayne Blvd., 305-947-2255 mustard sauce. Other favorites include goma ae (wilted tasting, raw kibbi naye (Middle Eastern steak tartare). It’s ter Carlo is manning the wood-fired oven, you can sample When Sia and Nicole Hemmati bought the Gourmet Diner spinach, chilled and dressed in sesame sauce), garlic hard to resist putting together a grazing meal of starters the thinnest, crispiest pies outside Napoli. $-$$ from retiring original owner Jean-Pierre Lejeune in the late stem and beef (mild young shoots flash-fried with tender and wraps, but there’s also a roster of full entrées (with 1990s, they added “Hanna’s” to the name, but changed steak bits), or perhaps just-caught grouper with hot/ soup or salad plus starch), including tempting vegetarian Little Saigon little else about this retro-looking French/American diner, sweet/tangy chili sauce. Open till around 3:00 a.m. $$ and seafood meals for noncarnivores. $$ 16752 N. Miami Ave., 305-653-3377 a north Miami-Dade institution since 1983. Customers This is Miami’s oldest traditional Vietnamese restaurant, can get a cheeseburger or garlicky escargots, meatloaf Heelsha Kebab Indian Restaurant but it’s still packed most weekend nights. So even the in tomato sauce or boeuf bourguignon in red wine sauce, 1550 NE 164th St., 305-919-8393 514 NE 167th St., 305-940-6309 place’s biggest negative – its hole-in-the-wall atmosphere, iceberg lettuce and tomatoes, or a mushroom and squid If unusual Bangladeshi dishes like fiery pumpkin patey Since the 1980s this restaurant, located in an unatmo- salad with garlic dressing. For oysters Rockefeller/ (cooked with onion, green pepper, and pickled mango) spheric mini strip mall but surprisingly romantic inside Continued on page 70

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 69 Dining Guide

Restaurant Listings Mexican moles and harder-to-find traditional preparations here too, including perfectly sour pickles, silky hand-sliced at lunch, $15 to $18.75 (the menu’s top price) at night; and like albóndigas – spicy, ultra-savory meatballs. $$-$$$ nova or lox, truly red-rare roast beef, and the cutest two- three-dollar glasses of decent house wine. $-$$ Continued from page 69 bite mini-potato pancakes ever — eight per order, served Pasha’s with sour cream and applesauce. $$ Sushi House not encouraging of lingering visits – becomes a plus since 14871 Biscayne Blvd., 786-923-2323 15911 Biscayne Blvd., 305-947-6002 it ensures fast turnover. Chef/owner Lily Tao is typically in (See Miami: Brickell / Downtown listing) Salsa Fiesta In terms of décor drama, this sushi spot seems to have the kitchen, crafting green papaya salad, flavorful beef noo- 2929 Biscayne Blvd., 305-400-8245 taken its cue from Philippe Starck: sheer floor-to-ceiling dle pho (served with greens, herbs, and condiments that Paul Bakery Café The first stateside offshoot of a popular Venezuelan mini drapes, for starters. The sushi list, too, is over the top, fea- make it not just a soup but a whole ceremony), and many 14861 Biscayne Blvd., 305-940-4443 chain, this “urban Mexican grill” serves health-conscious, turing monster makis like the Cubbie Comfort: spicy tuna, other Vietnamese classics. The menu is humongous. $-$$ From one rural shop in 1889, the French bakery known made-fresh-daily fare similar in concept to some fast- soft-shell crab, shrimp and eel tempura, plus avocado, jala- simply as Paul has grown to a worldwide chain, which fortu- casual competitors. But there are indeed differences peños, and cilantro, topped with not one but three sauces: Mary Ann Bakery nately chose to open its first U.S. outlet in our town. One bite here, notably pan-Latin options: black beans as well as wasabi, teriyaki, and spicy mayo. Hawaiian King Crab con- 1284 NE 163rd St., 305-945-0333 of the crusty peasant loaf, the olive-studded fougasse, or red; thin, delightfully crunchy tostones (available as a tains unprecedented ingredients like tomatoes, green pep- Don’t be unduly alarmed by the American birthday cakes in another of the signature artisan breads transports you right side or as the base for a uniquely tasty take on normal pers, and pineapple. Boutique wines, artisan sakes, and the window. At this small Chinese bakery the real finds are the back to France. As authentic as the boulangerie breads are, nachos). Other pluses include weekday happy hours with cocktails are as exotic as the cuisine. $$$-$$$$ Chinatown-style baked buns and other savory pastries, filled the patisserie items like flan normande are just as evocative. two-for-one beers -- and free parking. $-$$ with roast pork, bean sauce, and curried ground beef. Prices For eat-in diners, quite continental soups, salads, and sand- Sushi Sake are under a buck, making them an exotic alternative to fast- wiches are equally and dependably French. $$ Sang’s Chinese Restaurant 13551 Biscayne Blvd., 305-947-4242 food dollar meals. There’s one table for eat-in snackers. $ 1925 NE 163rd St., 305-947-7076 Chic Asian-accented décor, video screens, 99-cent drink Pizza Fusion Sang’s has three menus. The pink menu is Americanized deals, and late-night hours make this hip hangout not The Melting Pot 14815 Biscayne Blvd., 305-405-6700 Chinese food, from chop suey to honey garlic chicken. The just a sushi bar but sort of a neighborhood bar, too. That 15700 Biscayne Blvd., 305-947-2228 “Saving the earth one pizza at a time” is the motto at this white menu permits the chef to show off his authentic said, the sushi is impressive, mainly because seafood For 1950s and 1960s college students, fondue pots were franchise of the only pizza chain to require third-party Chinese fare: salt and pepper prawns, rich beef/turnip cas- is delivered daily and all except the shrimp is fresh, not standard dorm accessories. These days, however, branches organic restaurant certification at all locations. Their serole, tender salt-baked chicken, even esoterica like aba- frozen (as is customary at most Miami sushi places). Also of this chain are generally the only places to go for this eating gluten-free crusts make it mighty friendly to pizza fanatics lone with sea cucumber. The extensive third menu offers notable: All sauces are housemade. Cooked makis like a experience. Start with a wine-enriched four-cheese fondue; with food allergies. Starters, salads, desserts, and organic dim sum, served until 4:00 p.m. A live tank allows seasonal crunch-topped Miami Heat are most popular, but it’s as proceed to an entrée with meat or seafood, plus choice of wines/beers are also served. And delivery is available — in seafood dishes like lobster with ginger and scallion. sashimi that the fish’s freshness truly shines. $$-$$$ cooking potion (herbed wine, bouillon, or oil); finish with fruits hybrid cars, of course. Specials unique to this NMB fran- Recently installed: a Chinese barbecue case, displaying and cakes dipped in melted chocolate. Fondue etiquette chise include Sunday-Thursday happy hours, a free Kids savory items like crispy pork with crackling attached. $$$ Tuna’s Raw Bar and Grille dictates that diners who drop a skewer in the pot must kiss all Organic Club class on Saturdays, 10:00-11:00 a.m., and 17850 W. Dixie Hwy., 305-932-0630 other table companions, so go with those you love. $$$ varied Monday-Wednesday freebies. $-$$ Shing Wang Vegetarian, Icee & Tea House The reincarnated Tuna’s has gained new owners, a new 237 NE 167th St., 305-654-4008 name, a dazzling outdoor bar and dining area, and a newly Oishi Thai PK Oriental Mart At this unique Taiwanese eatery, run by a trio of Taipei- impressive selection of raw-bar specialties: cold-water oys- 14841 Biscayne Blvd., 305-947-4338 255 NE 167th St., 305-654-9646 trained female chefs, all seafood, poultry, and meats in the ters from the Northeast, plus Blue Points, Malpecs, Island At this stylish Thai/sushi spot, try the menu of specials, Unlike other Asian markets on this strip between I-95 and budget-priced entrées ($6.95) are mock – imitations made Creeks, and more. Traditional house favorites remain, and many of which clearly reflect the young chef’s fanatical Biscayne Boulevard, PK has a prepared-food counter, from wheat gluten, tofu, and vegetables. But don’t mock it the emphasis is still on fresh fish from local waters. Open devotion to fresh fish, as well as the time he spent in serving authentic Chinatown barbecue, with appropriate till you try the quite beefy pepper steak, or smokin’ duck, daily till 2:00 a.m., the place can get rather festive after the kitchen of Knob: broiled miso-marinated black cod; dipping sauces included. Weekends bring the biggest with slices that mimic the charcuterie item down to convinc- midnight, but since the kitchen is open till closing, Tuna’s rock shrimp tempura with creamy sauce; even Nobu selection, including barbecued ribs and pa pei duck ing faux fat. Other main dishes feature recognizable veggies draws a serious late-night dining crowd, too. $$-$$$ Matsuhisa’s “new style sashimi” (slightly surface-seared (roasted, then deep-fried till extra crisp and nearly free or noodles. As for the rest of the name: icee is shaved ice, by drizzles of hot olive and sesame oil). The specials of subcutaneous fat). Available every day are juicy, soy- an over-the-top dessert that’s a sort of a slurpee sundae, menu includes some Thai-inspired creations, too, such as marinated roast chickens, roast pork strips, crispy pork, with toppings that vary from the familiar (fresh fruits) to AVENTURA / MIAMI GARDENS veal massaman curry, Chilean sea bass curry, and sizzling and whole roast ducks – hanging, beaks and all. But no the weird (grass jelly, sweet corn, kidney beans, rice balls, filet mignon with basil sauce. $$$-$$$$ worries; a counterperson will chop your purchase into chocolate pudding). And the bubble tea is a must-not-miss. Anthony’s Coal-Fired Pizza bite-size, beakless pieces. $ Using housemade syrup, the cold, refreshing boba comes in 17901 Biscayne Blvd., 305-830-2625 Panya Thai numerous flavors (mango, taro, even actual tea), all supple- Coal is what it’s all about here — a coal-fired oven (like that 520 NE 167th St., 305-945-8566 Racks Italian Kitchen mented with signature black tapioca balls that, slurped at Lombardi’s, Patsy’s, John’s, or Grimaldi’s in New York) Unlike authentic Chinese cuisine, there’s no shortage 3933 NE 163rd St. (Intracoastal Mall) through large-diameter straws, are a guaranteed giggle. $ producing the intense 800-degree heat to turn out, in mere of genuine Thai food in and around Miami. But Panya’s 305-917-7225 minutes, a pie with the classic thin, crisp-bottomed, beauti- chef/owner, a Bangkok native, offers numerous regional The complexity of the Racks concept makes a sound- Siam Square fully char-bubbled crust that fans of the above legendary and/or rare dishes not found elsewhere. Plus he doesn’t bite description impossible. It’s part Italian market, with 54 NE 167th St., 305-944-9697 pizzerias crave. Expect neither bargain-chain prices, a automatically curtail the heat or sweetness levels to salumi, cheeses, and other artisan products plus take-out Open until 1:00 a.m. every day except Sunday (when is huge selection of toppings, nor much else on the menu. please Americans. Among the most intriguing: moo khem prepared foods; part enoteca (wine bar, featuring snacks closes at midnight), this relatively new addition to North Anthony’s does just a few things, and does them right. $$ phad wan (chewy deep-fried seasoned pork strips with like addictive Portobello fritti with truffle aioli, especially Miami Beach’s “Chinatown” strip has become a popu- fiery tamarind dip, accompanied by crisp green papaya enjoyable on the waterfront deck); part ristorante (pastas lar late-night gathering spot for chefs from other Asian Bagel Cove Restaurant & Deli salad); broad rice noodles stir-fried with eye-opening and other Big Food); part pizzeria. What’s important: All restaurants. And why not? The food is fresh, nicely pre- 19003 Biscayne Blvd., chili/garlic sauce and fresh Thai basil; and chili-topped components feel and taste authentically Italian. Just don’t sented, and reasonably priced. The kitchen staff is willing 305-935-4029 Diamond Duck in tangy tamarind sauce. $$-$$$ miss the coal-oven pizza. Superior toppings (including to customize dishes upon request, and the serving staff is One word: flagels. And no, that’s not a typo. Rather these unusually zesty tomato sauce) plus an astonishingly light reliably fast. Perhaps most important, karaoke equipment crusty, flattened specimens (poppy seed or sesame seed) Paquito’s yet chewy crust make Racks’ pies a revelation. $$ is in place when the mood strikes. $-$$ are the ultimate bagel/soft pretzel hybrid -- and a special- 16265 Biscayne Blvd., 305-947-5027 ty at this bustling Jewish bakery/deli, which, since 1988, From the outside, this strip-mall Mexican eatery couldn’t Roasters & Toasters Scorch Grillhouse and Wine Bar opens at 6:30 a.m. -- typically selling out of flagels in a be easier to overlook. Inside, however, its festivity is 18515 NE 18th Ave., 305-830-3354 13750 Biscayne Blvd., 305-949-5588 couple of hours. Since you’re up early anyway, sample impossible to resist. Every inch of wall space seems to be Attention ex-New Yorkers: Is your idea of food porn one of Though some food folks were initially exasperated when elaborately garnished breakfast specials, including unusu- covered with South of the Border knickknacks. And if the the Carnegie Deli’s mile-high pastrami sandwiches? Well, yet another Latin-influenced grill replaced one of our area’s ally flavorful homemade corned beef hash and eggs. For kitschy décor alone doesn’t cheer you, the quickly arriving Roasters will dwarf them. Consider the “Carnegie-style” few Vietnamese restaurants, it’s hard to bear a grudge at a the rest of the day, multitudes of mavens devour every basket of fresh (not packaged) taco chips, or the mariachi monster containing, according to the menu, a full pound friendly, casual neighborhood place that offers monster ten- other delectable deli specialty known to humankind. $$ band, or the knockout margaritas will. Food ranges from of succulent meat (really 1.4 pounds; we weighed it), for ounce char-grilled burgers, with potatoes or salad, for $8.50; Tex-Mex burritos and a party-size fajita platter to authentic a mere 15 bucks. All the other Jewish deli classics are steaks, plus a side and a sauce or veg topper, for nine bucks Continued on page 71

ORIGINAL BAVARIAN BIER GARTEN OPEN DAILY FROM 5:00PM TO 11:00PM FRIDAY &SATURDAY TO MIDNIGHT

JOINUSFOR MOTHER’S DAY

TEL: 305-754-8002 www.schnitzelhausmiami.net 1085 N.E. 79th Street / Causeway, Miami, FL 33138

70 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010 Dining Guide

Restaurant Listings Mahogany Grille 2190 NW 183rd St., 305-626-8100 Continued from page 70 Mahogany Grille has drawn critical raves and an interna- tional clientele since retired major league outfielder Andre Bella Luna Dawson and his brother transformed this place in 2007. 19575 Biscayne Blvd., Aventura Mall, 305-792-9330 Today it’s white tablecloths and, naturally, mahogany. If the menu here looks familiar, it should. It’s nearly identical The menu is a sort of trendy yet traditional soul fusion of to that at the Upper Eastside’s Luna Café and, with minor food from several African diaspora regions: Carolina Low variations, at all the rest of Tom Billante’s eateries (Rosalia, Country (buttery cheese grits with shrimp, sausage, and Villaggio, Carpaccio), right down to the typeface. But no argu- cream gravy), the Caribbean (conch-packed fritters or ment from here. In a mall – a setting more accustomed to salad), and the Old South (lightly buttermilk-battered fried food court – dishes like carpaccio al salmone (crudo, with por- chicken). The chicken is perhaps Miami’s best. $$-$$$ tobellos, capers, parmesan slices, and lemon/tomato dress- ing) and linguine carbonara (in creamy sauce with pancetta Mo’s Bagels & Deli and shallots) are a breath of fresh, albeit familiar, air. $$-$$$ 2780 NE 187th St., 305-936-8555 While the term “old school” is used a lot to describe this Bourbon Steak spacious (160-seat) establishment, it actually opened in 19999 W. Country Club Dr. 1995. It just so evokes the classic NY delis we left behind (Fairmont Hotel, Turnberry Resort), 786-279-0658 that it seems to have been here forever. Example: Lox and At Bourbon Steak, a venture in the exploding restaurant nova aren’t pallid, prepackaged fish, but custom-sliced empire of chef Michael Mina, a multiple James Beard award from whole slabs. And bagels are hand-rolled, chewy cham- winner, steakhouse fare is just where the fare starts. There pions, not those machine-made puffy poseurs. As compli- are also Mina’s ingenious signature dishes, like an elegant mentary pastry bites suggest, and the massive size of the deconstructed lobster/baby vegetable pot pie, a raw bar, and succulent, sufficiently fatty pastrami sandwiches confirm, enough delectable vegetable/seafood starters and sides for generous Jewish Mo(m) spirit shines here. $$ noncarnivores to assemble a happy meal. But don’t neglect the steak — flavorful dry-aged Angus, 100-percent Wagyu Pilar American “Kobe,” swoonworthy grade A5 Japanese Kobe, and 20475 Biscayne Blvd., 305-937-2777 butter-poached prime rib, all cooked to perfection. $$$$$ Chef/owner Scott Fredel previously worked for Norman Van Aken and Mark Militello. He has been executive chef Chef Allen’s at Rumi, and cooked at NYC’s James Beard House. Armed 19088 NE 29th Ave., 305-935-2900 with those impressive credentials, Fredel and his wife After 20 years of success in the same location, many launched Pilar (named for Hemingway’s boat) aiming to chefs would coast on their backlog of tried-and-true prove that top restaurants can be affordable. Consider dishes. And it’s doubtful that kindly Allen Susser would it proven. Floribbean-style seafood is the specialty: fresh freak out his many regulars by eliminating from the menu hearts of palm slaw and Caribbean curry sauce, rock the Bahamian lobster and crab cakes. But lobster-lovers shrimp spring rolls with sweet soy glaze, yellowtail snap- will find that the 20th anniversary menus also offer new per with tomato-herb vinaigrette. Forget its strip-mall loca- excitements like tandoori-spiced rock lobster, along with tion. The restaurant itself is elegant. $$-$$$ what might be the ultimate mac’n’cheese: lobster crab macaroni in a Fris vodka sauce with mushrooms, scal- Pizza Roma lions, and parmesan. The famous dessert soufflé’s flavor 19090 NE 29th Ave., 305-937-4884 changes daily, but it always did. $$$$$ Despite its name, this homey hidden eatery serves not Rome’s wood-cooked, crunchy-crusted pizzas but New York- Il Migliore style pies with medium-thick crusts pliable enough to fold in 2576 NE Miami Gardens Dr., 305-792-2902 half for neat street eating. Unlike chains, though, this indie is Chef Neal Cooper’s attractive trattoria gets the food right, accommodating, so if you want your crust thin and crisp, just as well as the ambiance. As in Italy, dishes rely on impec- ask. Also featured are Italian-American entrées like baked cable ingredients and straightforward recipes that don’t manicotti (that’s “mani-goat”, for those not from NJ) big overcomplicate, cover up, or otherwise muck about with enough to share, and sub sandwiches, here called “bullets,” that perfection. Fresh fettuccine with white truffle oil and to put you in a Sopranos frame of mind. $$ mixed wild mushrooms needs nothing else. Neither does the signature Pollo Al Mattone, marinated in herbs and The Soup Man cooked under a brick. And even low-carb dieters happily go 20475 Biscayne Blvd. #G-8, to hell in a hand basket when faced with a mound of pota- 305-466-9033 toes alla Toscana, herb-sprinkled French fries. $$-$$$ The real soup man behind this franchise is Al Yeganeh, an antisocial Manhattan restaurant proprietor made notori- Fuji Hana ous, on a Seinfeld episode, as “the soup Nazi.” On the 2775 NE 187th St., Suite #1, 305-932-8080 menu: ten different premium soups each day. The selec- A people-pleasing menu of typical Thai and Japanese tion is carefully balanced among meat/poultry-based and dishes, plus some appealing contemporary creations (like vegetarian; clear and creamy (like the eatery’s signature the Spicy Crunchy Tuna Roll, an inside-out tuna/avocado/ shellfish-packed lobster bisque); chilled and hot; familiar tempura maki, topped with more tuna and served with a (chicken noodle) and exotic (mulligatawny). All soups luscious creamy cilantro sauce) has made this eatery a come with gourmet bread, fruit, and imported chocolate. longtime favorite. But vegetarians -- for whom seafood- Also available are salads, sandwiches, and wraps. $-$$ based condiments can make Asian foods a minefield -- might want to add the place to their “worth a special Sushi Siam drive” list, thanks to chefs’ winning ways with tofu and all- 19575 Biscayne Blvd., 305-932-8955 around accommodation to veg-only diets. $$-$$$ (See Miami / Upper Eastside listing)

May 2010 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com 71 Dining Guide

72 Biscayne Times • www.BiscayneTimes.com May 2010