FOUR REPORTERS , ONE PHOTOGRAPHER The Bright Side of "At the age of 17, Britney Spears spot on along award which she will be honored with her life. enjoys being a girl. She loves colors that with and Joshua on Dec. 16 at the 1999 Billboard Music Although Britney's parents attempt pop and shopping till you drop, romance Chasez from Awards for to see her as much as possible her father novels and idyllic days at the beach. N'Sync, Ryan being the only has said he does miss her at times. Untamed and untarnished as they come, Gosling from musician to Britney's world tour starts in Feb- the bright beautiful teen from Kent- Young Her- ever have a sin- ruary and she is not planning on attend- wood, (pop:1200), is poised cules, Keri Rus- g le and an ing college. to liven up the pop world with the irre- sell from Felic- album hit Britney is currently in Sweden work- sistible collection of songs on her Jive ity and Christi- number one at ing on her next album with Max Bar- Records self-titled debut release." na Aguilera. the same time. ton who wrote "Sometimes" and "Hit Britney Spears has done more in 17 Britney is Britney has Me Baby (One More Time)." He also years than most people do in a . very good sold over eight writes the music for the · Spears' career began ｷ ｨ ｾ ｮ she was eight friends with million records. and N'Sync. years old when she auditioned for the the members of B r i t n e y Mickey Mouse Club. Although she was N'Sync who MAUREEN FITZPATRICK/ASST. PHOTO EDITOR comes from a ***And that's the bright side of Brit- too young for the show, the producer are like broth- Another banner idea 'We are pathetic." perfectly nor- ney Spears, and if I write any more cheer- helped her to get an agent in New York ers to her. In mal family in ful things about her I'll claw City. Britney spent the next three sum- fact she has even brought Justin back Kentwood. She has two dogs, Lady and eyes out and go insane.*** mers at Broadway Dance Center and at to Kentwood to see·her hometown. GeeGee. the Professional Performing Arts School. Britney signed her first record deal Britney and her brother Bryan are Amber Middleton Britney also appeared on . at the age of 15 and since then has wit- reportedly very close. He is 22 years Then at the age of 11, Spears got her nessed startling success, including an old and a very ·important influence in contributing writer Kentwood vignettes ... One Saturday a few weeks ago, a horror as it descended toward a mas- believed that we would promise to reveal We assume this is Justin Timberlake of group of us here at the Arcade drank too sive woman who had waddled out of that we had never learned his name. 'NSync, who has been linked with the much cheap cough syrup and decided the church. She uttered a phrase which Oops. After providing us with our infor- fair Miss Spears in the press.) Our source to go to Kentwood, La., home of Brit- sounded something like "Wudge- m a ti on, he did go out in front of the claimed that he did not know it was ney Spears herself. While we were there, doin' earr" which I managed to trans- sto.re at which he had been working and Justin, or he would have "wrang his we heard many interesting ft.!IDOrs about late in about 15 seconds to "What are proceeded to beat a tree with a stick. neck or somethin'." Also, he seemed Britney Spears, most of which do not you doing here?" I told her about the And then he said that if we revealed his very bitter about the car they arrived appear here so that this newspaper does girls we had dropped off at the Spears' name he would have to kill someone. in. He spoke about it in a tone some- not get sued. But here's the rest of it, house and motioned back toward it. Lucky for us, only the tree received his where between hatred and disgust. for your reading enjoyment... She replied, "The''t nowunn howme, wrath. Before his tree-smacking antics, •When buying her car, Britney Spears but tharrs peepul thurr. Big boy." Not however, he did provide us with qual- "jocked his mom's style" by purchas- The Church Lady that the beginning of what she had said ity entertainment. ing the same of Mercedes. That's had made any sense, but I was dumb- We think that maybe his spiteful ton right, this who sold 8 million There was a church out by the road founded by the "big boy." was an allusion to the fact that he blamed copies of her album, stole her style from in front of the Spears' residence in which The woman then uttered many other Britney Spears and her success for his one of the higher class members of her she supposedly sang "specials" at one unintelligible phrases and waddled life: a young father living in a crappy local white-trash society. point. This church was fairly ordinary, back indoors. Later on we did stop back rural Louisiana town jockeying a reg- •Britney Spears has a brother who with the exception that it had a mon- by the church and proceeded to honk ister. He also says that he has no trou- runs the local "Super Clean" pressure strous satellite dish attached to it, some- and then drove the hell away as fast as ble speaking into tape recorders becau e wash. However he does not monopo- thing that I had commented on because we possibly could while laughing like he "pleads confessions all the time." If lize the car wash industry of the area. I wondered what kind of church gets schoolchildren who have just been told he only knew how much entertainment Oh no. Our source's father owns at least the Playboy Channel. We (the men on a peepee joke. Such was our experience he gave us with our rambling incoher- one car wash in Kentwood. So there, the trip) parked at this church to wait with the huge church lady. ence he could realize his value as a come- Britney's brother! for the girls as they finished ogling the dian. Alas, he may never achieve such Spears house. On the way into the park- The store clerk a goal because he'll never recognize he Such was some of the story of Brit- ing lot the car ran over a large stick. has goals to begin with. ney Spears' silly little podunk town. After a major struggle I managed to free He wanted to know if we were from Now for the tidbits that he told us: the car of the stick and then tossed the a "news thing or somethin' ." He told •Britney Spears entered the store stick in the general direction of the us some juicy tidbits after we promised where our source was employed with Seth Stanton church. As I raised my head to follow his anonymity, even though he never Justin from the "Backstreet Queers or the trajectory of the stick, I watched in even told us his name. Maybe he whatever their name is." (editor's note: contributing writer 8 november 19, 1999 arcade