ISSUE 1635 FRIDAY 20th MAY 2016

The Student Newspaper of Imperial College London

What's the deal with Mega-super-puzzles study drugs? special

PAGE 10 FEATURES PAGE 26 PUZZLES

Imperial President sends mass email on EU stance Email said "it is not our role to tell people how to vote" but mentioned pro-EU position

n Monday, Imperial that was published in the Sunday EU Referendum". President, Alice Gast, Times. The Education Act of 1986 only and Provost, James She added, “While it was enforces a “balanced presentation Stirling, sent an email to important for the College to of political views” within a school all staff and students, encouraging articulate its point of view, it is environment. There is no such Ous to vote and reminding us of their not our role to tell people how to rule at universities. Imperial’s own stance on the EU. vote”, despite having just described communications and Freedom of After encouraging recipients Imperial’s part in producing pro-EU Speech policies also allow this – to register to vote in the June evidence for the House of Lords. Professor Gast seems to be well referendum, Professor Gast Professor Gast then hung back, within her rights to have emailed described how Imperial had saying, “The issues associated students and staff encouraging them “contributed to collective efforts in with the referendum are complex to vote a certain way. the higher education community and affect different individuals, Imperial’s own students for to understand and communicate companies and institutions in Brexit campaign team told FELIX: the impact of EU membership different ways”. So, vote how you “While we applaud Professor Gast on research and education” and want, we guess. for encouraging staff and students mentioned the pro-EU open letter The email's subject line was to vote, we disagree..." she had signed back in February, "Message to the Community on the continued on page 4

Aero students invited to will.i.am gig because director liked their boiler suits They were taking their class picture outside the Royal Albert Hall when they were ‘discovered’

wenty first yeardirector approached and offered the red carpet (which was black), were aeronautics students students 20 free tickets to the sold directed to the VIP room and were were given free tickets out gig if they turned up that night greeted with canapes and Prosecco. to a will.i.am gig at the in their boiler suits. He attempted to They were interviewed by the Royal Albert Hall gig last week, lure the young aeronautics students director before the gig, which was afterT being spotted in their boiler by describing will.i.am’s investment filmed by will.i.am’s team. suits taking an end of year picture in NASA robotics projects. They then saw the show from the outside the venue earlier that day. When the students returned arena, right next to the stage. A Apparently impressed by the that evening, in their boiler suits, couple of them... group’s aesthetic, the concert’s they were allowed to walk up the continued on page 3 th PAGE 2 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

[email protected]

Contents A word from the Editor News 3 Editor-in-Chief Grace Rahman Letters 6 h hey! Didn’t see you The first time I wrote for the News Editor Matt Johnston Comment 7 there. Welcome to this paper was in the TV section. Like your fifth-to-last issue many media-leaning millennials, Comment Editors Features 10 of FELIX for this my instant reaction to particularly Tessa Davey and Vivien Hadlow academic year. No, I’m not counting visceral content (Beyoncé’s Science Editors Science 12 Othem down. I just want to put a Lemonade, Katie Hopkins) is a Jane Courtnell and Lef Apostolakis suitable amount of pressure on you think piece. So I sent something Music 15 to get involved. into FELIX, and then accidentally Arts Editors Never written for us? That doesn’t became the music editor. That was Indira Mallik, Jingjie Cheng and Max Falkenberg Film 19 matter. All you need to do is send an a laugh, so I thought I’d give being email to one of the section editors, the full-time editor a try. You guys Music and Games Editor Games 21 either pitching an idea for an article agreed, so I did this for year. This Cale Tilford or if you’ve written something was slightly more serious, but still Film Editor Food 22 already, the piece itself. It’s that mainly a laugh. Regardless of your Fred Fyles easy! We accept procrasti-pitches ambitions in a career sense, I urge TV 25 and feelings-heavy comment pieces you to use the fact that Imperial Puzzles Editors that you will regret having written has a student newspaper to improve Hamish Beck and Roxana Radu Puzzles 26 in your thirties. your writing skills. We have editors Many newspapers have had their Food Editor I am biased, but getting involved here to help and guide you. Every own causes they’ve passionately Sanjay Bhattacharya Hangman 31 in the paper is great. Nothing beats job has an application form, and the campaigned for. The Daily Mail the feeling of seeing your name in only way to improve your written can count the plastic bag ban as Clubs & Societies Editor Abi de Bruin Welfare 32 print, correctly spelled. Even if it is communication is to practise. I one of its successes. The Guardian spelled wrong, you still feel pretty sound like your mum, I know. She has Snowdon. And I hope that TV Editor FELIX, Beit Quad, nice. We’re a friendly bunch, with says hi, by the way. one day, the Editor of FELIX can Saad Ahmed Prince Consort Road, a nice big office in the basement This week, it’s exam season, so say "We helped the library get air Technical Babe London SW7 2BB of Beit, with Macs and hot-takes we’re focussing on the things that are conditioning". Luke Granger-Brown Tel: 020 7594 8072 galore. So write a couple of pieces, probably concerning you right now: I urge you to sign our petition to Printed by Iliffee Print Cambridge, see if you like it, and then think focus-enhancing study drugs and get air con installed, and if you insist Copy Editors Winship Road, Cambridge about joining our team of editors the desperately high temperatures on taking non-prescribed Modafinil, Mattin Mir-Tahmasebi and Henry Registered Newspaper Lloyd-Laney next year. in the library. to be careful when crossing roads. ISSN 1040-0711 Copyright © FELIX 2016

An apology to Dr Bernard Lamb

n Issue 1622, dated the 15th January 2016, the editorial discussed a story concerning former Imperial academic, Dr Bernard Lamb. In this editorial, IDr Lamb was described as a bigot, which FELIX accepts was an offensive and unnecessary word to use, and also suggested that Dr Lamb disapproved of people of mixed ethnic heritage, which is incorrect. Therefore, FELIX would like to offer an apology to Dr Lamb for the accusation of bigotry. In fact, Dr Lamb has supervised and worked alongside international students throughout his career, and has enjoyed decades of friendship with students of many nationalities and ethnicities. As Editor of FELIX, I retract these comments and apologise to Dr Lamb for the offense we have caused him. felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20th MAY 2016 PAGE 3

NEWS [email protected] Petition started to get air conditioning in library The change.org petition needs your signature

Grace Rahman So let’s politely request that the Editor-in-Chief library, where many of us have spent so many uncomfortable, sweaty hours, gets some air con. he college got planning The library is not to blame – the permission for air librarians want air conditioning as conditioning units on much as we do. So let’s help them the library’s roof two out by demanding that college years ago, but little has happened stump up the money and finally get sinceT then. The library told FELIX this sorted. earlier this week that sorting out the A consultation in 2014 found temperature of the worst affected that the most common library gripe top floors would cost in the region amongst students was the fact that of £13.5 million and that so far, it was too hot. They’ve done their college had only allocated them half market research, and now the work of that figure. just needs to be funded. They’re still waiting on the other So, sign it today at half, and that’s where you come in. felixonline.co.uk/go/library. Time is Only you guys can make this running out – planning permission happen. If you want to be an agent doesn’t last forever. The quicker we of real change, sign our change.org persuade college, the more likely you petition, requesting that Imperial are to benefit from the change. This put air conditioning in the library. week’s white paper makes it clear Then spread the word, because that students are now customers. without those numbers, college Universities will have to start paying simply won’t listen. attention to satisfaction ratings, as We know £6.75 million is a lot of it will affect how much they can money, but we also know college has charge in fees. Imperial, like any that kind of cash. We, as Imperial, other university, has to care what its don’t ask for much. We don’t occupy students want. And now, we have to lecture theatres or go on rent strikes. tell them what we need. Real talk, though. Photo Credit: FELIX

Aero students get free tickets to will.i.am gig after director spots them in their boiler suits outside the Royal Albert Hall

continued from front page ...even managed to bag a selfie with the man himself. One student told FELIX that it was an “unforgettable experience”, with another adding: “I arrived late and it was so easy to find my mates: I just asked ‘have you seen blue people like me?’ and everybody was able to indicate the direction with a big smile.” The free gig was to promote will’s new wearable tech venture, ‘dial’, a smartwatch with an AI, about which he cracked wise throughout the night in breaks between songs. The night included cameos from old members of the Black Eyed Peas, Ricky Wilson of the Kaiser Chiefs and Tinie Tempah.

Who knew a aero regulation boiler suit could get you this far. Photo Credit: Wojciech Kowalski GRACE RAHMAN th th PAGE 4 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 PAGE 5

NEWS [email protected] NEWS [email protected] Thai princess visits Imperial Tuition fees will rise with inflation Princess Chulabhorn has a Chemistry PhD The government’s white paper on higher education is out and it’s official, fees won’t Grace Rahman “Imperial College London is very stay at nine grand Editor-in-Chief proud of our links with Thailand both through students and the research that we do together. Today Matt Johnston system between universities. ast week, HRH Princess is a chance to celebrate that and News Editor The green and subsequent white Chulabhorn of Thailand to discuss ways we can work more papers are the brainchild of Jo visited Imperial to discuss closely together”. Johnson, Boris’s younger brother science and collaboration Imperial has connections with he government has and the current Minister of State with students and professors. The several Thai institutions, including released a white paper for Universities and Science. Jo, Lprincess, who is the youngest child Mahidol, Chulalongkorn and Khon this week outlining its who attended Oxford University of King Bhumibol Adulyadej, met Kaen universities. future plans for higher and studied Modern History, came Thai students as well as experts education, most notably allowing under fire earlier this month too, in her field of interest: medical universitiesT to charge more than after he oversaw the renaming of research. The £9000 per year in tuition fees. the new Boaty McBoatface polar Princess Chulabhorn is well These plans come just four years research ship to RSS Sir David known for her keen interest in after the trebling of tuition fees by Attenborough. science and medicine. She has a princess is the coalition government (and the PhD in Chemistry from Mahidol ensuing protests) and would mean University, Bangkok. well known that the top performing universities These plans She spoke about future could increase their fees year on collaborations between Imperial and year in line with inflation. This is a Thailand, her own research and the for her keen category that Imperial would likely come just importance of research in general, fall into, with the changes coming calling it “the key to everything”. interest in into effect by autumn of 2017. four years The princess met professors from The proposals mean, at the current the medical faculty’s surgery and The princess talked science with the students, as you might expect. Photo Credit: Imperial College London rate of 1.6% inflation (RPI), that Jo Johnson – who’s raising fees, renaming Boaty McBoatface and being Boris’ brother. Photo Credit: Wikipedia cancer department, the School of science and students would pay an extra £144 a after the Public Health and Electronical princess about Imperial’s research in Thailand in particular. Khon Kaen advanced imaging techniques in a year on top of your £9000. Granted, Imperial College President, Alice proposed framework will inhibit or the policy itself, the Teaching Engineering. around cholangiocarcinoma, a bile University Hospital is currently bid to fight the disease. medicine this is not massive in the grand Gast, spoke out against the green discourage excellence rather than Excellence Framework, is the first trebling of Some of the professors spoke to the duct cancer that occurs at a high rate working with a team at Imperial on James Stirling, the Provost, said: scheme of things, but just as recently paper that proposed this idea and support and reward it”. The NUS step on a slippery slope in which as 2011, inflation in the UK was several other initiatives, saying have also come out as staunch critics tuition fees for the top universities 5%, equating to £450 a year, sizable that it is important to “voice our of the paper. could rise and rise at will. This could tuition fees when you’re on a 3/4/5+ year course. concerns when we think that a It’s been argued by some that eventually lead to an economic class The President and Provost send mass email to all Imperial students and staff encouraging them to vote and reminding them of the college’s EU stance Fraudsters target students in scam outside halls continued from front page The Conmen drove the student to a cash point after meeting him outside Fisher “...with the implication that a Brexit would be detrimental to UK science”. referendum Grace Rahman tax” on the garments, and that he approached by anyone in this way. The heavy reminder comes after Editor-in-Chief could have them for free. Students are advised not to attempt weeks of to-and-fro between the is on The men then somehow persuaded to challenge or speak to them, ‘Leave’ and ‘Remain’ camps, headed the student that they were in need of however tempting, and instead walk up by Boris Johnson and David n Wednesday, a cash to buy their children souvenirs. away. Obviously don’t get in their Cameron respectively. In the last Thursday the student was conned The student got into their car, a car, which may not still be an Audi. week, Boris has been criticised for rd into handing over cash white Audi, and they drove him to saying the EU has the same aims 23 of June to fraudsters outside a cash machine. that Hitler did, and Cameron has Fisher Hall in Evelyn Gardens. An attempt at the same con An attempt been accused of using the threat socialist and writer, and deputy OTwo men in a car, thought to be occurred outside Beit yesterday of war to frighten voters into leader of the Green party, Amelia Italian, stopped the student outside too, leading police to believe the remaining. Womack. the halls of residence and asked him fraudsters are particularly targeting at the same Remain posters have been spotted The referendum is on Thursday for directions to the airport. Imperial students. It’s thought that around college in recent weeks, and the 23rd of June, and the penultimate They got chatting, and persuaded these con artists may be specivfically a the Big EU debate is scheduled for day of term. You can register to vote, the student that they were fashion targeting international students. con occurred June the 2nd in lecture theatre 164 in or request a postal ballot, until the designers with leather jackets to The warning from college is the Skempton Building. Speakers 7th. give away. The fraudsters told the to immediately report to college outside Beit will include Tariq Ali, the staunch GRACE RAHMAN He probs won’t be getting an invite back. Photo Credit: Imperial College London student that they “didn’t want to pay security or wardening staff if you’re Beware Evelyn Gardens at dusk. Photo Credit: Simon Kreitem th PAGE 6 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

letters [email protected] Centrefold complaints and halls drama

In response to Issue 1633 Centrefold (netball)

Dear FELIX female students. In this context, contribution you are making to I understand where you’re policing women’s bodies, deciding I attended the Imperial College C&GU actively challenged all the pressures on young women to coming from. However, I do not what is liberating or appropriate Festival last weekend. I was inspired sexist representation of women compete through their looks rather believe these pictures are sexual. for them to show or hide for and captivated by the enormous and activities and “traditions” that than their achievements. I have never published a sexual their own ‘good’ is bullshit. range of research and innovation degraded women. IC Union also It was noticeable that, amongst centrefold. I’m sure you’ve seen the FemSoc’s centrefold (Issue 1631) that I was able to discuss in detail made its voice heard on many issues all the wonderful IC people I spoke film Calendar Girls – the nudity in is particularly hard-hitting, and with students, researchers and of national policy and practice that to, women were extremely under- our centrefolds is always along raises the issues of sexism, rape and professors who were all passionate discriminated against women. represented. It was also noticeable those lines: fun, non-sexual and gender. There are plenty of ways about what they were doing and I presume the IC netball team that visitors were predominantly silly. There is no obligation to be for clubs to promote themselves keen to share their thinking. What chose to attract teams for their men and boys. Imagine a young fully naked, and no one in the club in FELIX – the Clubs & Societies a privilege! tournament in this way but I ask girl, wondering about a future in is forced to take part. pages, sport – and the centrefold is Whilst there I picked up FELIX them why they would want to science or engineering, opening Also, male students are often just one of those. Many clubs, with (Issue 1633); the centre-fold made present their bodies rather than your newspaper at the centre spread. in the centrefold, both in sports both male, female and non-binary me gasp in horror and then brought their netballing skills. And why Will it invite her into the exciting teams and mixed groups. members, would release naked me close to tears. I was a student would FELIX want to encourage world you have chosen? You can - The idea that we as women can’t calendars anyway, even if FELIX in Electrical Engineering from them in this? I ask you all to think and should - do better than this. be naked in centrefolds and also didn’t have a centrefold. These are 1977-80. At that time there were about the message you are giving to be free to rebuff unwanted sexual usually fun, and always for charity. 5% women across Imperial College, female peers who doubtless rebuff Jo Armitage advances is terribly worrying and Our newspaper does not exist with fewer in engineering. As unwanted sexual comment and EEE, 1977-80 frankly, sad. If men see women to engage young girls wandering Hon Sec and then President of harassment daily; the message you (via email) in the centrefold and think round the Imperial festival. It is C&G Union, I worked in every are giving to male peers who are they’re easy ‘objects’ available for made by students, for students, way possible to help retain current again being invited to look at women harassment, then the fault lies and forever may it remain. female students and attract new as objects for their gratification; the with those men. This attitude of -Ed.

In response to Issue 1633 Centrefold (netball)

Dear FELIX of the netball team? And this in the to young women and girls who may The netball team were behind the cat-calling article is deeply I attended the IC Festival last same issue as an article about sexual be thinking of studying at Imperial? what I thought was a cute, fun, worrying to me. Should its writer weekend it was a fantastic event. harassment. I thought we only got I truly would like to know what and again, non-sexual photo, expect sexual harassment if she The inspiration it provided in all those sorts of mixed messages in The the intentions and thinking behind promoting their tournament. had appeared in the centrefold? fields was exciting. Sun! that photo were and why FELIX FELIX isn’t meant to be an advert Should she expect it if she was a But I was completely horrified There are few enough women thought it a suitable advertisement to study at Imperial. The centrefold fully fledged page three model? Do when I picked up a copy of FELIX working and studying in the for women at Imperial. is one way for students to advertise either of these things means she's 1633 in the cafe. What on earth was sciences – what sort of message Julie Peel events to other students. asking for it? No. the thinking behind that centrefold does that kind of imagery send out (via email) The fact that you’ve brought up -Ed.

In response to, well, nothing

Hey hallmates! Like you, I'm so They last to 3am, the volume's on For the champions among us, you Now when it comes time for well! happy that the year's nearly over. full-blast and the drinking games will return to your room at 4:30am breakfast, I will stumble blearily Anonymous It's time to relax, unwind and involve Stolichnaya and gummy with your new best friend, then into the kitchen and find myself on (via email) exorcise those pent-up impulses. bears! after forgetting protection, run up the set of Willy Wonka's office. Nevertheless, the last few end-of- Who doesn't love that? At the to my neighbour’s door and yell Half of the table will have Um, this is not what the letter terms have gotten a bit out of hand, end of the night (or start of the day, "[insert neighbour's name here] disappeared, having floated down pages are for, but we hope your and I've been left verklempt by some depending on how wild you are), GIMME A CONDOM". You will five flights of stairs to the common public service announcement baffling behaviour. I'm writing here you'll get back to your room and outdo yourself every time with your room. It's a pretty cool party trick, works. You should probably find to tell you what's hot and what's return to humdrum civilian life. dog-yelping and epic fornications but it's actually really sad that no- a studio for next year, because not so that we can all still be super- For some low-energy people, until dawn. Please do NOT stop; one else can witness the magic done newsflash – this is what people are besties! this might involve a collapse in the your efforts help me to wake up for on their floors. My fine magician, like. I love parties as much as anyone. general direction of the bed. morning lectures! you have to consider their needs as -Ed. felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20th MAY 2016 PAGE 7

COMMENT [email protected] Scientists need to start caring about politics Forget ISIS or Trump, apathy is the greatest threat to democracy

he recent election David Nutt was sacked after Party Society that was almost shut institution to compensate for the season has got me in the publishing a scientific paper into down last year due to a lack of shortage of scientists in parliament political spirit, and I have the social harms of illicit drugs. This members (and committee), and speaks volumes. Few in this country been reminded of the not only demonstrates the anaemic our own student think tank that no have the scientific know-how to shameful situation that continues quantities of scientific rationale one has heard of. There are plenty understand the implications of toT both bemuse and inflame me: in government, but that no major of reasons why Imperial students the UK’s science policy, and those the Science and Technology scientist has taken the political stage might be less politically active than who do, don’t vote. This is not just Select Committee. This grand, for seven years. our university counterparts, but a British problem; global science administrative behemoth, whose For once, perhaps, this second explaining away our predicament policy increasingly relies on a few expansive remit covers everything point is not down to faults of the does not solve anything. voices of undemocratic research from big data to genetics, with its government or an incompetent With the possible exception of the organisations for guidance. These cross-party composition and its politician, but is a sad reflection of a aspiring bankers, Imperial students views do not represent broad inquiry-laden legislature, sets the global scientific consensus: political are entering careers whose funding national perspectives and instead Jordan Abdi national agenda on science policy. apathy. and regulations are governed by hide behind the veil of objectivity at Writer In a world where science policy is of people who couldn't tell you the the cost of our democracy. growing importance, occupying all difference between a proton and a As our species makes strides in the top spots on international issues, No major protein. science and technology like never be they climate change or viral So why haven’t our science and before, we need now, more than pandemics, the UK Government scientist technology industries collapsed into ever, a democratic machine to needs to take leadership and forge pandemonium? Well, fortunately, fairly govern this new world. We the path to a sustainable future. some our MPs became painfully need a parliament properly armed But fear not, for who should chair has taken aware of this gaping qualification with scientists, a population ready the Commons Select Committee gap, and so set up the Parliamentary to criticise them and a national for Science and Technology? None Office for Science and Technology voice prepared to debate them. other than Nicola Blackwood, the political (POST) back in 1989, to research Instead, we are sleepwalking into an esteemed parliamentarian and brief MPs on scientific issues technocracy, bestowing control of with a doctorate in – wait for stage for of the day. Initially staffed by one the fastest growing and increasingly it – musicology. It sounds like researcher, the humble institution important policy area on unelected, something out of a Mitchell and represented how small the realm faceless institutions. Webb sketch, only the reality is far seven years of science policy was but a mere 30 less funny. Indeed, of the eleven years ago. We need a MPs that comprise this essential Maybe it is the lack of objectivity But much has since changed, and facet of Government, only seven that comes with policymaking, or today POST has a larger executive have graduated from a university the narrow-focused research mind- board than the entire Commons parliament and a whopping four have a science set that is instilled in students from Select Committee for Science and degree. the start, but the trend is clear: Technology, its own Fellowship This probably doesn’t surprise you; scientists don’t care. programme and briefs both Houses properly the British Government’s lack of Even here at Imperial College of Parliament. scientists is not news. The last time I London, an institution with some Many do not have a problem with armed with recall a scientist being involved with of the sharpest young minds on the this set up, but the fact that we politics, it was 2009, when Professor planet, we have a student Labour have to introduce an undemocratic scientists

Apathy has consequences. Scientists and students alike have long been silent voices on the political stage, and as a result, governments have turned elsewhere for guidance. Whilst it may be easier to try and opt out of the system, become disenfranchised and complain that it's all rigged, it is vital that you find the courage to engage head-on with democracy whilst we still have it. Citizenship is not a part-time job; if you’re unhappy with policy, at any level, write to your local councillor, visit your MP, or best of all, reflect your dissatisfaction at the ballot box. If you don’t engage, politicians won’t Justin Trudeau's basic explanation of quantum computers shouldn't be an exception to the norm. Photo Credit: Youtube try and win you over. th th PAGE 8 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 PAGE 9

COMMENT [email protected] COMMENT [email protected] Why you should care about the higher I don't often sign petitions...... but when I do, they're about food – specifically education white paper the destruction of the BBC's recipe archive

It's not good news don’t often sign petitions. Most rage against Nigella (despite their people wouldn’t consider me shared moniker) and her lot, that, particularly politically active and I quote: hings got pretty busy more power to shut down existing truly removed, only delayed. - while I exercise my right to “If you’ve got a website that’s this week in the Union institutions. Ominously, it also In the green paper there was a The wealthy vote, I am far too often happy to got features and cooking recipes offices with the release seems that the government will brief but ominous section about Iread the news, bitch about the state – effectively the BBC website of the higher education seek to have more control over the student unions, which is an area of governance in this country (or the becomes the national newspaper white paper Success as a knowledge material which is taught to students. which worries me and the rest of will continue US – it’s really fucked up over there), as well as the national broadcaster. economy:T teaching excellence, Another overarching theme in the the sector greatly. The insinuation and then leave it, whilst inwardly There are those sorts of issues we social mobility and student choice white paper is that of social mobility. was that unions lack accountability, contemplating moving to Scotland. need to look at very carefully.” on Monday morning; this is The argument that the government’s transparency and regulation. There to gain To be frank, I already have an excess Heaven forbid people be able to the Government’s response to proposals will achieve their was a proposal to bring student of friends of Facebook who share get what they paid for! Those recipes consultation on the preceding supposed goal of getting students unions into the trade union bill. access to pseudo-libertarian/communist/new – be they the ones that started higher education green paper, of from disadvantaged backgrounds The push-back in responses on this Sanjay Battacharya labour/mildly xenophobic small-c Jamie Oliver’s career, dripped out of which there was much criticism. into high quality universities, from unions was strong and several Food Editor conservative updates, be they Mary Berry’s amazing repertoire of It was essentially 100 pages of half to result in higher academic proposals from the green paper have high fee attacking/defending the vicious variations on cake, or were simply Jennie Watson baked, often misconceived ideas. attainment within these groups been dropped for the white paper, malingerer/second messiah that is written up by one of the unpaid Deputy President (Welfare) The white paper may be a significant are wafer-thin. The general theory however there are still elements that David Cameron/Jeremy Corbyn interns at the Beeb – were all funded improvement and we are entirely within the sector is that a tiered hint that the government will come high quality (delete as appropriate). I don’t by us, the licence fee-paying proles. Protect Ainsley Harriot content at all costs. Photo Credit: reddit.com right to celebrate the massive wins system of fees will only result in a after unions again. want to become another person to The way in which they must stop that came in response to the green ghettoisation of higher education. The white paper states that institutions unfollow. maintaining the database will also better cut back on the number of free content-hosting websites, with paper consultation. That said, there By this I mean that students from “responses to the green paper make it unsearchable, meaning pavlova recipes asap! Why on earth hundreds of user-reviewed recipes. is still a lot wrong with the white that a crawler engine (like Google) he thinks that cutting back on the Osborne's bizarre disconnect from paper – the battle may be won, but As I highlighted strongly in the The BBC won't be able to find the recipes if BBC's publicly available recipes is reality is pervasive in so many of his the war is far from over. ICU response to the Green Paper, you searched for them. You’d have going to save the failing institutions policies, but it really ticks me off in One of the central principles we work very much in partnership is being to know the exact URL, and they’re that are this country's newspapers, I this one. It's not all bad news - some of the proposed changes to with the College. Our relationship not even sure they’ll keep hosting will never know. It is through their enterprising fellows have come to higher education is the Teaching is characterised by a mutual respect the content at all. So, they’ll be own resistance to adaption that they the rescue with some clever coding, Excellence Framework, TEF. The for pretty much all areas of the forced to destroying 11,000 recipes from will fail – they refuse to move into pulling the text currently available idea is to have a tiered system College and we are always consulted the internet archives – because it’s the digital world at the same speed on the BBC Food section and whereby universities have to prove and listened to, on issues big and an issue of national importance? as the rest of us, and it will cost making it into a freely torrentable their ‘excellence’ in order to move up small, which will affect students. remove Bullshit. them. Already, broadsheet sales are (which I do not advocate yada yada) the levels of TEF, which then gives I can’t see a lot in the white paper More than that, I object to the dropping year on year, as people turn package. Why this has to happen for them the right to charge higher fees. which truly recognises and commits 11,000 second part of his reasoning – to one of the many free online news those recipes to be preserved, I do The metrics against which ‘teaching to supporting this style of working that these features and recipes are providers that don’t have paywalls. not know – but sadly, the pictures excellence’ was to be measured were as an integral part of the proposed “issues” we need to all look at. Ah What our dear chancellor fails to of Ainsley Harriott in all his oily shoddy at best – I doubt many will future of higher education. recipes yes, one of the main issues blocking spot is that no matter how much goodness will be lost. agree that NSS scores stack up to The government coming after our road to economic recovery after funding Rupert Murdoch gives his In even better news, the good old the quality of teaching you receive student unions is no new thing; So it might have surprised some the mess the labour government left party to bend it to his will, no one British Library and the National during your degree. Customers, customers everywhere. Photo Credit: radioactivecookies.com every time unions come out when I shared my first petition us in, is the excess of brownies in in their right mind would ever think Library of Iceland have both The white paper also sets out fighting, and often win. Clearly this week – and no, it wasn’t about this country – and no, that’s not a “Victoria Sponge recipe – the Sun is confirmed that they too have made proposals to make it easier for new, disadvantaged backgrounds will highlighted the role played by it is entirely possible for student the farce that is Donald Trump, or euphemism. probably a good place to look”. No, a full copy of all the pages that private universities to enter the go to low-quality institutions to students’ unions and guilds in unions to mobilise effectively in a even the latest cuts to our beloved Why should we be letting petty they’ll go to one of the myriad other were on the BBC’s Food section. sector and to give the government study degrees with poor graduate higher education institutions”, coordinated way, and win big battles NHS. Whilst those anger me, government oversight of a publicly So all is not lost – though how outcomes. The wealthy will continue however it does not truly recognise like these proposed reforms. These they are too blatantly wrong to be funded media group, whose sole role accessible their archives will be I do to gain access to high-fee, high- that unions play a huge role in changes will have an enormous worth sharing a petition over. It is to provide varied resources for Heaven not know, and I suspect that all the quality institutions, and as a result helping to shape and enhance impact on students in years to come; was about preventing something knowledge and entertainment of the comment functionality of the pages It was will get into better paid jobs. As a student experience through we would be failing in our jobs if we so perversely cruel, misguided and public, prevent us from discovering (hurling abuse at bakers who don’t result, inequality and the wealth student activities, volunteering did not fight for meaningful student deliberately deconstructive that Paul Hollywood’s secret to a good forbid put currants in their scones – I’m gap will increase, entirely contrary opportunities and lobbying within influence in these changes. I just had to speak out. As part crust on your loaf? The true answer looking at you, Mary Berry) might essentially to the government's alleged aim of universities for improved teaching ICU will be responding to the of the government's latest white is at the heart of this messy fight be lost. increasing social mobility. and student support. There is also, so white paper, and I want to hear as paper on the corporation, the BBC with the BBC – cronyism. people be Still, I signed the petition. Who 100 pages It's clear that the white paper far not much in the way of concrete much student opinion as possible. is being forced to remove 11,000 “You wouldn’t want the BBC knows? We might be able to reverse represents some major wins. There commitments to give students a Although this is a difficult time for recipes freely available without to completely crowd out national able to get the misguided policy, we might not. are areas government has listened meaningful voice, or even a seat at everyone with academic pressures at advertisements, pop-ups or having newspapers. If you look at the BBC Incidentally, I managed to get 20 of of half to the criticism of it's paper. That the table in the proposed Office for peak levels, if you have any opinions to link your Facebook account. I website it is a good product but it is my friends to sign too – so maybe said, these wins are piecemeal, and Students, the new body which will about the white paper which you was disgusted. The more I read, the becoming a bit more imperial in its what they I’ll have to reconsider the impact of mostly represent the finer details regulate universities. For me this would like to be incorporated into more disgusted I was. Our darling ambitions.” those shared statuses on Facebook. baked ideas of the proposal. For example, the feels like a sidelining of students our stance, you know where to find chancellor, George “Cokehead” Osborne says the BBC is becoming Perhaps Donald Trump is the concept of uncapping fees was not and students’ unions. me. Osborne had decided, in a fit of too imperial in its ambitions - paid for messiah I needed after all. th th PAGE 10 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 PAGE 11

FEATURES [email protected] FEATURES [email protected] utensil in the kitchen. That increased If you take Ritalin the night before looks like you’re selling it, you could focus can also mean you’re less able your big test, you’re going to have to be looking at an unlimited fine and We’ve heard to do basic things because you’re so be very careful in those post-exam some prison time. Imperial’s FELIX investigates study drugs distracted by the task at hand. Be celebrations. Like all drugs, mixing Imperial’s own Student Alcohol careful crossing roads, and definitely with alcohol can sometimes have and Substance Misuse policy stories of don’t start playing games on your unexpected effects. The alertness makes no explicit reference to study own Student Let’s be realistic. Should you take them and are they legal? phone – you won’t be able to stop. you gain when taking drugs like drugs. It says students’ performance students However, legal drugs aren’t the Ritalin may well stop you noticing must not be affected by substance Alcohol and only option – don’t feel how drunk you’re getting, misuse, which it defines as taking a Grace Rahman bad if the person which could result in something that “adversely interferes Editor-in-Chief accidentally next to you has alcohol poisoning. with an individual’s health, work Substance been typing Ritalin combined or study performance or conduct”. solidly for six with other As study drugs enhance your Misuse ike all good things in life, working hours while stimulants, like performance, arguably they shouldn’t this article starts with you’ve spent coffee or Red come under this banner. The College a disclaimer: FELIX is intensely on half of your Bull, will put a does include prescription medicines policy makes by no means advocating time on lot of pressure not prescribed to the user in the the use of these so-called study the wrong Facebook on your heart, definition of ‘drugs’, and insists that no explicit Ldrugs. I don’t know about you, but – they may so at the very they should not be brought onto shitting every hour doesn’t scream well be taking least, avoid the premises. The college’s rules reference to productive work mode to me, – each thing some good old- Jagerbombs. also state that students must ensure to their own. We’re just giving you fashioned speed. their behaviour “is not affected by some facts and student experiences Unlike the other excessive alcohol consumption or study drugs so you can make up your own mind. such as contraception. Modafinil drugs we’ve discussed here, substance misuse”. That’s a no from FELIX is not your mum, but it does can harm an unborn foetus, and can which are mainly available on Will I get in trouble? Imperial then. love you. also stop the contraceptive pill from prescription for disorders relating to Technically, possession of drugs Jennie Watson, the DPW, told coursework – but there’s still a long working. If you can break away from lack of concentration, you are likely like Ritalin without a prescription FELIX: “No Imperial student way to go.” Are they legal to buy? revising for long enough to have sex, to experience a raging comedown is illegal. If you don’t have ADHD should feel they have to take drugs to “I’d urge students using drugs to In an attempt to restrict the usage best use a condom. on speed. Don’t expect that post- and you’re found with Ritalin, it’s cope with their academic workload. enhance academic performance to of legal highs, which enjoyed brief One student told us: “I’m not sure exam last week of term to be all treated as a Class B drug, which We have been highlighting the consider the fact there is very little legality before the government if it’s placebo or actually works but rainbows and butterflies, because could get you five years in prison. In issue of student stress and its impact evidence of benefit and that the long could change the law to include almost all of my house took it. I it’ll likely be more along the lines of reality, this kind of sentence is pretty on mental health to College for term effects are broadly unknown.” each new one, the new Psychoactive took it a few times, it’s helpful if you existential crises and crying. rare and you’re likely to get a slap on a long time, and we’re pleased to Make up your own mind, but if Substances Act was passed. Due to want to concentrate on one thing in This is a Class B illegal drug, pure the wrist or a caution. As with all see positive changes such as more you’ve really not revised, it’s unlikely come into law on May the 26th, particular.” and simple, so do bear that in mind. Class Bs, if you have so much that it counsellors and reductions in a Ritalin dose will save you. it is a blanket ban on all ‘mind- altering’ substances, bar the ones What might happen? we know and love: alcohol, tobacco, Unsurprisingly, these drugs are not nicotine, caffeine and some foods. conducive to getting a good seven The vague terminology of the act is hours the night before the exam. a problem – testing everything for If you’re taking something like ‘psychoactive’ properties is going to Adderall, you need to factor in the be difficult. Imperial’s grandfather fact that you won’t be sleeping for of drug reform and all round great Their website looks legit, but this is all about to become really illegal. Photo Credit: FELIX at least seven hours after you take it. guy Professor David Nutt told Fine if you want all-nighter, but be Motherboard he doesn’t think it careful because you might be forced will stem consumption. It will, nootropics online, as you’d expect. Do they work? their success on the drug is just the to stay up all night, and wander into however, affect the legality of study Their status is a grey-area; they are Modafinil, a prescription drug placebo effect doing its thing. the exam room looking like, well, drugs, which means they’re about to a semi-legal substance, meaning “I took it a used to treat narcolepsy (which There are other things to bear in someone who’s stayed up all night in become much harder to buy online. customers don’t have to go via the causes excessive daytime sleeping), mind when you take them though, the library after miscalculating their Currently, lots of people buy their dark web yet, and instead can buy is the only study drug we know that Adderall dose. Russian, Eastern European or few times. is confirmed by the literature to FELIX has also heard horror Indian-made pills from British enhance performance during long stories involving students companies. These snazzy websites tasks. This 2015 study of studies accidentally working intensely on Possession offer free delivery, loyalty points, It’s helpful if also found that mood-related and the wrong thing. You’ll want to have sharp videos advertising their physically unpleasant side effects make sure you have all the work you of things ‘brain-hacking’ wares and boast of you want to were found to be limited in most need to do right in front of you when the benefits observed by Bradley studies, and were usually also found you start, or you might find yourself Cooper’s character in the movie in the control group. However, spending seven hours rearranging like Ritalin Limitless. Unlike buying from your concentrate most studies on smart drugs’ your bedroom or cleaning every mate who has a prescription to treat performance-enhancing abilities their ADHD or narcolepsy however, on one have been on very small sample sizes. without a these substances are unregulated. It’s generally a very unregulated At the very Buying the off-brand drugs you see area, so it’s hard to say whether your prescription on these sites isn’t illegal right now, thing in generic ‘Modalert 200’ will actually but will be when the psychoactive make you perform better. least, avoid substances blanket ban comes into Many report vaguely positive is illegal force. Some sites have seen a jump particular.” effects when taken occasionally, Jagerbombs in sales, as people stock up before but some are unsure as to whether Yum. Photo Credit: nootropics.co.uk Look familiar? Photo Credit: Wikipedia the 26th of May. th th PAGE 12 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 PAGE 13

SCIENCE [email protected] SCIENCE [email protected]

Science, what’s good? Funky fungal psychedelic ain’t all Science& the City Lef Apotolakis Science Editor Love spoiled by Twitter is a Money helps Earth-like sea Questions on ethics arise in all fields of science, from vaccinations choice stalker’s world with learning! on Europa bad, depression study finds to military weapons. But given own magic mushrooms. That kind the mutability of morality and A break for It might come as a shock but A new study creepily titled ‘I In more ‘breaking news’, a recent Exciting research from NASA’s Lef Apostolakis Psychiatry, aimed at investigating some extent for over three months. of approach could be risky.” ethical stances across cultures, when it comes down to maintaining know where you live’ showed that study showed that financial support Jet Propulsion Laboratory, in Science Editor whether patients with depression, Despite the positive results, Although anticlimactic, his individuals, and time, it’s difficult wind power a happy relationship, it might it’s not only possible, but in fact really helps students with learning California, suggests Europa, one could tolerate doses of psilocybin the lead author of the study, Dr under-enthused comments were to pinpoint where the lines of what be about those on the outside of relatively easy to discover someone’s disabilities to complete assignments of Jupiter’s 67 moons may hide an without exhibiting adverse side Robin Carhart-Harris, from probably strategic rather than an is moral should be drawn. What There’s been a lot of attention your circle of trust, rather than home and work addresses, simply and get extra support from faculty, ocean that is chemically similar to effects, such as anxiety and paranoia, honest reflection of his excitement, of the devastating effects of the recently on the improvement of those on the inside. New research by looking at the location stamps outside of teaching hours. The study Earth’s. If you’re unfamiliar with which the UK government considering Prof David Nutt’s fate Manhattan Project, the morals of solar power yield, however it seems shows that when Frankie Valli was of their posts. The MIT researcher looked at university students in the alien moon, know that it is considered serious enough to in 2009, which was sealed when he which physicist Richard Fenyman that we hadn’t quite heard the last writing his hit song, ‘Can’t take my behind the study followed the US with learning disabilities: slightly smaller than our moon, and warrant a ban. The ban took effect This is not claimed that tobacco and alcohol had always been fairly tight-lipped of wind power research. A team eyes off you’, he forgot to add, “... the activity of Twitter users in comparing those receiving special is considered one of the smoothest with the 2005 Drugs Act, which are in fact much more harmful than about? Was it wrong to pursue the of scientists recently came to the unless there’s lots of hotter people the Boston area, and asked 45 accommodation, with those less solid objects in our solar system, reclassified mushrooms as a class many illegal drugs and suggested development of our capability to conclusion that a particular form around, or you’re completely out of participants who had no particularly fortunate. However, the study also which has led scientists to believe it A drug, making possession a crime the first what some ( Jacqui Smith) split atomic nuclei even though the of carbon coating dramatically my league”. Okay, maybe the study relevant expertise to try and deduce suggested that affluence of students hides an ocean beneath its surface. that could induce a seven year considered a radical reclassification. scientists knew it would be used for improves wind turbine efficiency, didn’t quite find that, but it might what they could about the users. played a key role in their likelihood It is this element that suggests prison sentence. While Prof Nutt’s outspokenness application on humans? Or what of by prolonging their life expectancy. as well have. The study found that The wannabe private eyes, managed of receiving additional support. that despite its lack of volcanic This is not the first time a time a cost him his position as the the endless case of the anti-vaxxer, The scientists, while developing participants who were with partners to correctly pinpoint users’ home Wealthier students struggling activity, Europa could be host to psilocybin study has been conducted government’s chief drug adviser, to in which the scientific community lubricants, had a ‘YOLO’ moment less desirable than themselves were addresses 65 percent of the time with learning disabilities tended life. Europa’s rocky interior reacts at Imperial. In 2014, research the public’s dismay, Dr Carhart- has decided that individual consent and decided to test the coating only happy in their relationship if and work addresses as often as 75 to receive support more often than with the seawater producing new illuminated what areas of the brain psilocybin Harris has managed to stay on the is irrelevant in light of the greater on wind turbine drivetrains, their partner was a closer match to percent of the time. When provided low-income students. The pattern minerals and releasing hydrogen. are activated by shrooms and government’s right side becoming, social good? These are complex having low expectations. Alas, their ‘ideal’ mate than most other with additional data (a whopping was also reflected in comparison This hydrogen reacts with molecules showed that brains of users exhibit in 2014, the first scientist in over issues with no easy answer, but are the coating was destined for wind available mates. The only people five days worth of tweets) accuracy without-of-state students, who released from the pounding of the similar patterns to brains of people study is 40 years to have been granted dearly worth considering in our turbines, going through more that didn’t quite seem to care of workplace geolocation climbed generally pay higher tuition fees icy surface by Jupiter’s radiation, who are dreaming. Patients with permission for testing LSD on own endeavours. than 100 million testing cycles about other potential mates were up to 85 percent. Participants than in-state students and are more releasing oxidants. If the moon is moderate and severe depression humans. The LSD study, which Scientists often take a class without showing any surface cracks those whose partners were more ‘shockingly’ performed better when likely to be better off, financially. A dead inside (has no volcanic core) who are resistant to treatment conducted again enlisted a number of in ethics at some point in their (known as micropitting). The only desirable than themselves. Similarly, provided with mapped data. Results possible explanation is that receiving it might allow for just the right volunteered to receive Home volunteers, used brain scanning to education, and there are many problem is that they are unable to participants put in a lot more work were controlled with users from support is subject to providing chemical balance to support life. Man of the hour, Dr Carhart-Harris. Office-approved psilocybin capsules look at how the brain works under ethical forms one can fill out and understand how this coating works, in maintaining their relationship if Oxford to eliminate the possibility adequate proof, which requires tests Plans for future missions are being Photo Credit: Studentersamfunnet twice over seven days, as well as at Imperial the psychedelic substance. The study clear in the pursuit of their research. so the scientists can’t improve on it their partner was “just too good to of participants simply being familiar that cost money to take. Long story made that will hopefully shed more close monitoring, not only during showed that under the influence, But ultimately, it’s an odd mix of quite yet. Could be worse. be true”. That’s love for ya. with the ‘hip and happening’ areas short: money makes life easier. light. oomers, silly cybin, the drug administration but also at the Department of Medicine at volunteers used more areas of the what the individual scientist and of Boston. caps, little smoke, cubes, regular intervals over the following Imperial College London, made brain for visual processing than institutions are willing to research Singh et al. 2016, Tribology Conroy-Beam et al. 2016, McGregor et al. 2016, Learning Vance et al. 2016, Geophysical musk, silly putty, sherm, five weeks. reserved comments regarding they would normally and that the and practice, paired with what the International Evolution and Human Behavior Licardi et al. 2016, CHI (in press) Disabilitier Research & Practice Research Letters simple simon, god’s Results showed a complete lack the research. “Psychedelic drugs compartmentalization of their brain, larger scientific community agrees flesh, shrooms. Psilocybin fungi of adverse reactions (with the have potent psychological effects which usually allows different parts is acceptable, and is in periodic Bgo by many names, but they’re exception of anxiety right before the and are only given in our research of the brain to perform separate response to some social pressures. more commonly known as magic drug administration, and at the very when appropriate safeguards are in tasks, broke down possibly causing Interestingly enough, some have mushrooms. These humble fungi are start of the psychedelic experience, place, such as careful screening and the phenomenon some people call even argued that science – aiming predominantly used recreationally which is probably just a result of professional therapeutic support. ‘ego-dissolution’. at objectivity, knowledge, and truth as entheogens (what a word), the bad rep shrooms have) and also I wouldn't want members of the If you’re wondering where this – could actually act as a beacon to Alexandra Lim Seven minutes of hell heard of HIIT, otherwise known as 450% during the 24 hours after your I can say I definitely felt its effects of those who think a short run in substances that induce psychological a decrease of depression symptoms public thinking they can treat their research is taking place and how to determine what our human morals Writer high intensity interval training. But workout. almost immediately. If anything, Hyde Park is the equivalent of or physiological changes, often used which, for a few patients, lasted to own depressions by picking their get involved, don’t worry. So are we. should be, and help us figure out what exactly is this seven-minute Its label, being what it is, prompted seven minutes of HIIT gets your drawing blood from a stone on your in a religious, or spiritual context. what is right or wrong. This flies specialty? me to research the science behind blood pumping, heart rate up, and hungover Saturday morning, I beg Users claim they can induce in the face of those who value ith exams drawing It is, essentially, a workout that this phenomenon. All you need metabolism going. So if you’re one you to rethink your fitness agenda. euphoria, synesthesia, alter the way neutrality as a core tenet of scientific near, many think encompasses the benefits of HIIT is a chair and a wall. The exercises we think and perceive time, and endeavours. setting aside time in one lovely manageable burst, themselves are very simple, all of generally aid at the journey towards Regardless, like a carefully planned for a dedicated with the most scientific data to back which everyone has tried before. transcendence. In other words game of chess, scientists should look workout is simply not worth it. it up. I’m one of the late ones on this Cue pushups, jumping jacks, and they’re a hallucinogen that will send ahead to the possible implications TheW mere idea of walking to Ethos having just recently discovered it in chair step-ups. The sequence of you on a pretty psychedelic trip. All of their research and decide if the makes you die a little inside. Long- the dusty corners of the Internet exercises, that should be done with in all, there is general consensus outcomes are worth the pursuit. I, drawn lectures and revision means (circa 2014, would you believe it?). maximum intensity and in rapid that shrooms are pretty strong stuff, for one, certainly don’t believe any the treadmill is off the agenda on HIIT is a common method used to succession, are designed to increase which explains why they're illegal in knowledge is inherently bad in and weekdays, so you settle for that walk spike the metabolism, by alternating fat oxidation capacity and boost most countries around the world of itself, but that its application to the library, the occasional sprint between intense bursts of exercise, your metabolism like nothing else Despite many governments’ can nonetheless be used to hinder to the toilet. 30-minute run? Forget and then less intense exercise or by the end of it. I do believe the (including our own) strong no- or help humanity. As we transition it – that would mean a shower, complete rest. By tapping quickly label has been a little misinterpreted no stance on shrooms, research is from our studies into research, makeup (hear hear, females), and into anaerobic reserves, it has been because there hasn’t been a proper occasionally green lit – some of it in development, and application, we that would be your weekday or proven to increase endurance by at experimental trial, though the our own back yard. Indeed, some of should all aim to use science as a weekend evening gone. Friends, least 11% after its incorporation benefits of short, intense HIIT it takes place here at Imperial and tool of progress and development, there is a small saving grace. three times weekly, improve overall workouts are sound, drastically it recently yielded results suggesting though inevitably, what that means You may have heard of the cardiovascular health, and believe it improving cardio-metabolic health shrooms might be beneficial for is constantly and vaguely in flux. Scientific Seven-minute Workout, or not, increase production of the and insulin sensitivity. Here at Felix we believe in positive reinforcement, so have a cookie (or ten) for those struggling with depression. and if you haven’t, you’ve probably human growth hormone by up to Having tried this myself recently, reading an article about exercise. Photo Credit: Tracy Hunter The study, published in The Lancet Yes, we chose a psychedelic cat for this piece. You’re welcome. Photo Credit: John Lecster NAOMI STEWART th PAGE 14 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

SCIENCE [email protected] Sh!t Sc!ence Angry old man vindicated: Food was better back in the day MARIANNE GUENOT

t Sh!t Sc!ence we like to but it is not useless, because looking compared 245 prehistoric, defend the lil’ science, the into the past gives us a better grasp 381 historic (pre-20th century) science that gets bullied, of what is coming in our future. and 218 modern skeletons. the science that gets That is the case of a new study Surprisingly, the researchers wedgies from the bigger sciences published in Clinical Anatomy this found that not only was CO whenA it tries to speak up, because we week. Sometimes all that is left of not extinct, it was relatively believe that every science, no matter a time period is human remains, common, with 12.35 percent how puny, has value and should be so archaeologists have learned of modern North Americans respected. This week: archaeology. to read anatomical clues to the and 16.8 percent of modern Need I say more? conditions in which people were South Africans displaying it. Yes, archaeology, or the discovery living. One such clue is a condition Even more surprisingly, this of things that happened literally called cribra orbitalia (CO), where is a higher prevalence than in thousands of years ago. Going to the bone inside the eye socket their historic counterparts. “We an archaeology conference is like becomes porous. This condition think the increased prevalence watching an episode of Sherlock, is generally accepted to be a tell- of CO in the modern skulls may “This fragment of a piece of bone tale sign of anaemia due to iron be due to intestinal parasites in was positioned two centimetres deficiency, periods of malnutrition some populations and iron- East of the remains of a fire pit or infection. If archaeologists find poor diet”, Ross says. which is evidenced by these three a high prevalence of CO in the Therefore, like many a time flecks of carbon matter. Therefore, population, they take it as a sign before, knowledge of prehistory Australopithecus tried to kill Homo that these poor people had a rather sheds light on modern culture. erectus!” Elementary, until another rough time of it. “But there’s been These findings, Ross says, archaeologist finds another tiny a lot of debate about the prevalence show that “disadvantaged fragment of bone on the other side of CO in modern populations, socioeconomic groups, and of the planet, and the entire field is with some saying it had effectively parts of the developing world, The study suggests that our ancenstors might have had a better diet than shaken to its core. It is a strenuous, disappeared,” says Ann Ross, co- are still struggling with access us, but maybe they just never stopped eating. Photo Credit: Mike Mozart arduous, ridiculous nerd of a science; author of the study. The scientists to adequate nutrition.”

Natasha Khaleeq Writer This week’s science picture arge shoals of fish attract a range of predators including multiple species of whale. A recent study though, found that although many Lspecies might be feasting on herring at the same time, whales tend to stick with their own kind when preying. By mapping different whale calls, research found evidence of clear whale groupings within dense herring shoals: humpback whales clustered at either end of the spawning grounds, while mink, fin and blue whales set up feeding territories between them. Passive ocean acoustic wave guide remote sensing showed that calls increase dramatically at night time, when extremely dense shoals form and dissipated during the day when herring scattered throughout the seafloor. However, further research must be carried out to discover whether there is territorialism occurring or if they are selecting these locations based on their different foraging mechanisms. This shot was taken by Miquel, a Science Communication student here at Imperial. Are you a budding photographer? Get in touch. Photo Credit: Miquel Sureda felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20th MAY 2016 PAGE 15

MUSIC [email protected] Future of the Left crowdfund peace Rob Garside clear that FotL were relishing from wonderfully dirty overdriven bass Writer the freedom to create the songs and lines and mark a real development music they wanted to rather than from the more passive role the bass catering to the demands of a third has served in previous albums. This rom their formation of party. The fact that artistic freedom adds an extra dimension to FotL’s the ashes of the wonderful led to the creation of one of FotL’s sound giving them a much thicker Mclusky in 2005, Welsh most tense and restrained albums sound, taking the lead away from noisy alt-rock savants was really surprising as there was a Future of the Left have generated clear move towards minimal songs Fa reputation for absurd lyrics, punctuated with staccato riffing, Artistic excellent musicianship and live removing some of the more ‘fun’ elements of their sound. It’s welcome then that The Peace… freedom Future showcases a more multi-faceted approach. Whilst the jarring staccato riffing songs are still led to the of the present, they are used as occasional spiteful moments rather than the creation Left have main body of this album. This has allowed room for some really bass heavy songs and reintroduction of of one of generated the some more playful elements that FotL used so well in their earlier efforts. This variation in approaches FotL’s most a reputaion makes The Peace... a significantly This is a sad picture *sad emoji*. Photo Credit: Future of the Left easier listen than How to... and adds impact to both. The bass heavy tense and performance from Andrew “Falco” clean singing on ‘No Son Will for absurd songs feel heavier, the stuttering Falkous. This varied performance Ease their Solitude’, Falco’s vocals dead-stop guitar led songs, such as sets FotL apart from their followers provide wonderful hooks – hooks ‘Miners Gruel’, more visceral, and restrained and imitators. With so many other that are especially welcome on the lyrics the catchy moments more hooky. bands taking a one track approach more alienating tracks on the album. The increased amount of really on their vocal lines, the depth and Altogether The Peace and Truce of shows that Pitchfork would label as bassy songs has to be attributed albums breadth of Falco’s weird singing Future of the Left is probably one of incendiary. A reputation justified by to bassist Julia Ruzicka. Her voices which are essentially used FotL’s most accessible and varied their fifth album The Peace & Truce inventive, thick bass lines have the sporadic guitar lines that have as a second melodic instrument releases, combining the elements of Future of the Left. been increasingly become a part been the focal point in the past. are always suprising. From the that make them so interesting and Their latest release is their second of FotL’s sound. Songs such as the It’s reassuring that it is not whimsical singing on ‘Miner’s rewarding to listen to from their successfully crowdfunded album nasty ‘If AT&T Drank Tea What all change for this album with Gruel’, to the desperate nasally previous albums with new twists after 2013’s How to Stop Your Brain Would BP Do?’ to the groovy ‘The a predictably excellent vocal screams at the end of the furious and quirks creating a really deep in an Accident. On How to… it was Limits of Battleships’ are led by her ‘Reference Point Zero’ to the soft rewarding album.

In the music streaming wars we all lose Cale Tilford these companies can come up for customers to join their service Music and Games Editor consumers to switch to their services they’re forcing consumers back to is to provide exclusive albums and in illegally download albums again most cases this exclusivity is only for (which streaming services were nother week and yet a limited time. created to prevent). No one is another timed exclusive Compare this to video streaming going to subscribe to every music on a streaming service. services, where each provider offers service just to listen to every album This time it’sChance the drastically different content, or that’s released; they’re going to Rapper’s Coloring Book, exclusive to video game consoles, where systems complement their music streaming AppleA Music for two weeks. vary in power and there are frequent with pirating. I’m growing fucking tired of this console-exclusive titles, and it’s If you by into all that capitalism shit. It’s not like streaming services obvious that we’re being played. bullshit then I guess competition are actually distinguishable in It’s hard to blame the musicians can sometimes be great. So much choice (thanks capitalism). Photo Credit: Spotify, TIDA, Apple. functionality in any meaningful way. who have stakes in TIDAL – Maybe this model of exclusivity The overlap in content between the they’re trying to make money in a is working for companies, but platforms, where the crossover of more businessperson than artist. Art main services (Google Play Music, precarious music industry. But in it’s certainly not working for content is probably higher than should be for everyone, not for the Apple Music, Spotify and TIDAL) many cases when they make things consumers. Welcome to the world 90%, and where as a result we all few who are silly enough to pay for is so massive that the only incentive exclusive, rather than getting new of virtually identical streaming lose out. Some musicians are now three streaming subscriptions. Parkour Free Running & Gymnastics Society CLICK NOW & WIN!

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FILM [email protected] Documentary corner: A Riot of our Own Diogo Miguel Geraldes us through the big side-effects of Film Writer the current Disneyland-ification of London. Under the excuse of redevelopment and better transport o Nazis. No dark metal. connections, developers are building Live acts 7 days a week. empty fairy-tale castles in the sky, These simple admission house-of-card-shaped tax-havens, criteria meant that gigs and ubiquitous gift shops with as could be booked in the same day, much genuine feeling as a Hard Nregardless of band size or experience, Rock Cafe or a Starbucks. This to play in front of the music-loving bittersweet documentary takes us crowd who religiously converged through the last days of London’s on the 12 Bar Club, hidden in best live music institution and – Denmark Street. whether you had been a regular, a What made the place unique was one-timer, or a 12 Bar virgin – it the openness of the punters who, will definitely leave you with both a for one reason or another, ended sense of nostalgia for what it meant up side by side at the narrow bar and regret for the inevitable march counter: from the regulars who of the speculative housing market. had been popping in for the last 20 But there is hope: the 12 Bar Club years, to randomers who happened lives on, now somewhere in zone 2, to stumble there on the way home showing you can destroy the venue, from Soho, you could not help but you can push people away, but you feel a sense of community every 12 Bar Club – the last of a dying breed of the London gig scene. Photo Credit: YouTube will never be able to put out the time you stopped by. ever-burning fire of uniqueness and Everyone belonged in there as cigarette and drinking Jack whilst Pan Alley watering hole. many more. It’s an institution to authenticity because, to put it simply, long as they were not too keen on simultaneously watching some For years, the 12 Bar Club stood which London owes its status of not everyone wants to be bought. National Socialism or the Holocaust. gimp-mask-wearing guy play pool? proud as the most (only?) genuine, musical capital of Europe. As Pablo Neruda put it: ‘They may Not many places managed to bring You could literally buy a guitar, start trip-worthy, night-rescuing, And now it’s all gone. Poof. mow down all the flowers, but they together city suits and spiky leather a band, rehearse in a studio, play reliable venue of central London. It Vanished. Just like that. can't stop spring’. jackets in an eclectic mosh-pit hug. your first gig, get a tattoo, and fall in launched plenty of famous musical The filmA Riot of our Own, Where else could you be smoking a love, all in the same night at this Tin careers and saw the last breath of from director Tali Clarke, takes

featuring

and more!

saturday 18 may

get your ticket before they sell out! Tickets for this year’s Summer Ball are rising from £37.50 to £42.50 on Friday 20 May. Afterparty tickets (till 06:00) are still only £6.00. There are only a handful of Afterparty tickets left, so don't miss out!

All performers and attractions subject to change

imperialcollegeunion.org/summerball THE UNION AWARDS

Nominate someone today! Help someone get the recognition they deserve for their contribution to the Union

Nominations close Friday 27 May

For more information and to nominate, visit imperialcollegeunion.org/unionawards felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20th MAY 2016 PAGE 21

GAMES [email protected] That’s so Ratchet A game based on a movie based on a game

Cale Tilford reimagining of the original game Music and Games Editor feels fresh. It is still as exciting as it was all those years ago, a testament to the original release. n the 14 years since Ratchet While Nintendo platformers & Clank’s original release might have revolutionised the on the PS2, the platforming environments players inhabit (Super genre has seen a dramatic Mario Galaxy) and multiplayer decline. Nintendo has been the sole functionality (New Super Mario Itorchbearer in a genre which was Bros.), the combat in their games once the industry’s most successful; has changed very little. Many it continues to produce quality and rightfully regard Ratchet & Clank innovative platformers while others as an action-platformer; it brilliantly have almost abandoned the genre completely. Despite the critical (and commercial flops) of recent releases It brilliantly in franchises like Ratchet & Clank, Crash Bandicoot, and Spyro, many combines still remember these series fondly – even when they are undeserving. Society is so obsessed with nostalgia melee and that we often misremember and Ratchet & Clank is a furry’s paradisse. Photo Credit: Insomniac Games, Inc ignore flaws. However, in a rare few cases the first games in these third-person these two types of gameplay can be Ratchet’s fur and other similar characters are weird throwbacks franchises are deserving of praise. exhilarating and it creates the sense graphical details add up to create the to early noughties tropes (e.g. the In these cases we must ask the shooting of being an action-hero far better best looking platformer ever. This skater dude) and the script is often question: are these games only great than other mature franchises do is proof a game doesn’t have to be gratingly cheesy especially when it when considered within the context today. realistic (or gritty) to be technically breaks the fourth wall. The story it of when they were released? mechanics After only a few minutes with the impressive. tells is not particularly interesting, Video game companies have game, it is obvious that is more than Trying to explain this installment but is told well. begun in the last decade to exploit combines melee and third-person a HD remake; many elements of in the franchise to someone else While a lot of original level nostalgia by reimagining and shooting mechanics. Traversing the the game have been changed. The can get quite confusing. It’s based designs have been reused, the rebooting series, in the hope that environment and its obstacles is most obvious is the massive visual (loosely) on a movie which is based developers have added new worlds gamers will forget about previous similar to any other 3D platformer, overhaul. Other than Uncharted and gameplay sections to ensure it missteps. Ratchet & Clank is but if you hold down the left trigger 4, no other game on PS4 is more doesn’t feel too familiar to players of interesting in that it is not only a you are able to enter a strafing visually impressive. From the lush For a game the original. Clank’s puzzle sections, reboot of the series (after more than movement mode which is better planetscapes, with glistening vistas where you control a number a dozen sequels), but a remaking suited to combat (borrowing more on the horizon, to gloomy acidic of different Gadgebots (each of the original game. Without from third-person shooters like underworlds, every texture and where very performing a different purpose), changing much, Insomniac’s Gears of War). Switching between model is polished and refined. provide a refreshing change of pace little has from the action packed shooting of Ratchet, even if these levels are too easy. One notable new changed, weapon turns enemies into pixels and the weapon system as a whole has been overhauled adding more it feels customisation to things like weapon accuracy, ammo capacity, and incredibly damage. For a game where very little has changed, it feels incredibly modern. modern Insomniac have perfectly balanced the new with the old. Rather on the original game (from 2002), than relying solely on nostalgia, and it includes some footage from they have made changes where this film in between gameplay appropriate and where the game segments. Insomniac are aware that would have truly shown its age. this is all a bit ridiculous, so have Many were worried that Ratchet framed the game as a retelling of and Clank might not hold up after the original by Captain Qwark. His 14 years of innovation, but it does. often unreliable narration is amusing A franchise that was almost lost, has and is an attempt by the developers now returned from the brink. OMG, it’s so pretty. Photo Credit: Insomniac Games, Inc to fit this game into canon. Some Ratchet & Clank is out now on PS4 th th PAGE 22 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 PAGE 23

FOOD [email protected] FOOD [email protected] Back to Basics: Scones and Tea Go-nuts for doughnuts FELIX visits The Muffin Man Tea Shop for afternoon tea. FELIX presents your guide to the best doughnuts in London

Christy Lam clotted cream, strawberry jam and a hrowback to the seven down its planned trade date as soon completely and symmetrically filled Writer pot of tea of your choice. And yes, years spent in an all-girls as it was made known to the public to the top with perfectly smooth a delicate, white china teacup on a boarding school in the after prayers on Monday mornings. vanilla custard cream. The days saucer. How much more British can countryside. A weekend Even made up the most ridiculous of disappointment from stingy f you had to pick one dish that one get? trip to the nearest town with an excuses to nip out from class five fillings are forever gone with St represents Britain, what would Don’t expect the tea to be any actualT supermarket was a sacred minutes early to beat the queue. John’s Bakery and Bread Ahead it be? Mine would definitely different from your usual Tetley, or privilege only to those of Year 9 and And now, in 2016, after two Bakery. Both are excellent local be the traditional English the jam to be superior to that 75p above, while you have to be at least odd years in civilisation will I still bakeries producing all sorts of afternoon tea. Probably the same as jar from Tesco. It is not about the in Year 12 to be allowed to step on be that obsessed with them as my top-notch baked goods everyday Iany typical Chinese girl. tea, or the jam. It’s all about the the train on the opposite platform 13-year-old self? Of course not. including a wide variety of pastries Do not let the idea of afternoon scones. to London. One look at that poor girl and sourdough. Doughnuts are tea scare you – this is going to be Yes, the scones. You are about to Strict rules applied: we had to fundraising for charity holding their popular specialty with some a casual affair, no extravagance, taste the best scones in the whole of fill in a so-called “exeat form” days that familiar green-dotted-on- basic flavours in common: vanilla no posh British accents, no jaw- London. prior to departure, then get it signed white box approaching me from 30 custard, honeycomb, raspberry jam, dropping bills. I promise. At this stage I wouldn’t argue on time by the Housemistress. We metres away would have me turning chocolate. The Muffin Man Tea Shop is about whether the jam goes first, or checked out, left school on Saturday immediately on my heels and Bread Ahead explores slightly situated down the quiet Wrights the cream. It doesn’t matter. We can noon, came back no later than 17:00 dashing off in the exact opposite further with flavours depending Lane, just around the corner argue about etiquette or viscosity on the dot to check back in and our direction. An unexpected approach on the season, such as blackberry from High Street Kensington or aesthetics later. Just shut up, bags search for alcohol or cigarettes. would be dealt with with a good ten custard ripple, salted caramel with underground station. Small, old- smother it with any ratio of cream Trips on Sundays were considered as second hesitation, with my mind honeycomb and my favourite – fashioned, dimly lit, with black and to jam, and eat. “special cases” requiring a legitimate entirely blanked out and extreme earl grey with soaked prune (all white photos on the walls, a counter The scones are hot and toasted, reason for the need to do so. By Year tension building up inside similar to £2.50). The doughnut itself is like with a Victoria sponge, shortbread with a slightly dry crunch on the 13, this procedure felt rather like answering the winning question in a brioche and is dusted with white and many other sweet delights. edges yet retaining this wonderful The challenge used to be how much jam you could fit on. Clearly, times have changed. Photo Credit: Christy Lam inmates applying for furlough. Who Wants to be a Millionaire: a) sugar. St John’s Bakery is available Imagine visiting your grandmother. moisture and softness inside. The Another precious memory accept the doughnut, b) decline the from their bakeries in Druid Street I always come here for the Devon hint of buttery flavours merges Sanjay Bhattacharya They are wrong. thick, and use a water glass (or fluted of those innocent days is an doughnut, c) pretend you are deaf Market, Maltby Street Market, CW from top left: PB&J, pistachio cronut, chocolate, raspberry cronut, . Photo Cream Tea. Two scones served with perfectly with the smooth clotted Food Editor If you haven’t had fresh butter ring cutter) to cut out scones. I do unbelievable infatuation with Krispy and blind, d) run. Spitalfields and the Food Hall at Credit: Christy Lam cream and jam. before, this really is a huge treat mine about 6cm across. Re-roll the Kremes. Back then, they were a rare Most of the time I’d kindly decline Selfridges. Bread Ahead opens their In case you are still feeling a bit – it’s so different from the highly scraps, and repeat – there’s always commodity, highly sought after the sugared ring while offering store at Borough Market and Old Park Shoreditch and Brick Lane Enough of law suits. Beas still Do not let peckish, have a look at their equally Scones with fresh butter, processed cheap Lurpak that many one dodgy looking one at the end. especially by the younger years, and to donate the exact price. Plonk Spitalfields Market on select days. presents their iconic Cro in Zebra have their Duffin game going strong British menu – Coronation chicken and quick “jam” of you might be familiar with. Make Place on a floured baking tray, and only available during the occasional as the coin hits the bottom of the 2. The Sourdough (chocolate), strawberry & cream and selling in their cafes at Bloomsbury, afternoon salad or a rarebit? sure to buy real cream, and not place in the oven for 8-10 minutes charity fundraising. Long queues plastic bucket.The reason behind Probably should have called this Cronutella. Distinct layers of pastry St Paul’s and Farringdon. It is Scones and tea. The perfect s Christy says – what Elmlea – it’s a cream substitute and until risen and golden brown. formed outside the English the disappearance of love for Krispy category “Gourmet” – Crosstown filled with buttercream, toppings essentially a dense buttermilk cake occasion on a sunny afternoon to sit, could be more classically will not work! Butter classroom with crowd control. 20 Kremes? Because there are far, far Doughnuts boasts of their hand and dunked in sugar (£3). The range the size of your palm, flavoured tea scare relax, and of course, to feel perfectly English than scones For the “jam”, don’t be as picky 300ml double cream dozen Original Glaze sold out better doughnuts in this world. made, hybrid sourdough base is also available at Harrods (£4.50). with nutmeg, dipped in butter, British. (tea, the queen and with fruit, as it will work well Flake salt faster than the blink of an eye. 1. The Classic claiming to reduce the sweetness Meanwhile Rinkoff Bakery,rolled in sugar then piped with jam On a final note: clotted cream institutionalised pig-fucking didn’t with anything from strawberries, Pour the cream into a jar, and screw I too, lived in the craze, jotting The joy of biting into a doughnut and to not absorb as much fat when the 105-year-old family run or Nutella (£2.50). you goes first. makeA the cut)? Personally, I always raspberries and redcurrants, with the lid on tight. Shake like crazy! It’s deep fried. Their layers of icing on business in Whitechapel, has their 5. The Cruffin associate scones with my slightly the first two starting to come into very good forearm exercise, though top definitely helped a great deal too. popular Crodough with a lot less On the subject of portmanteau frazzled mother hurriedly making a season now. The appropriate term most of you should have no problem In reality, they have a slightly firmer buttercream and sugar compared pastries, allow me to introduce batch of them – either for her stitch for it would really be a compote, as with that. After 5-10 minutes, you’ll and chewier texture compared to to the former in a wider variety of you to the Cruffin. Originating ‘n’ bitch (the so called “wimmins it won’t fully set. see golden flakes appear that will the conventional doughnut. Their flavours. Think Oreo Cheesecake, from Mr Holms Bakehouse in San group”), book group or the Scones: eventually accumulate into a nice range of unique and unimaginable PB&J and S’mores, and a special Francisco, the croissant pastry is unexpected arrival of a guest! Still, 250g self-raising flour clump of butter. flavours is the selling point: granola Crème Egg Crodough during baked in a muffin mould instead they were always delicious – and in 1 rounded tsp baking powder Put into a sieve to drain briefly and strawberry jam, PB&J, sea Easter (all £2.50). If Whitechapel of its usual lunar shape, then filled our house, it was always real butter 30g caster sugar (the liquid is buttermilk, which can salt caramel banana (£3 - £3.50). is too far a journey, find them at with custard to the brim, dusted (a treat from the usual margarine) 40g softened butter be used for baking) and then in the Find them in their flagship store in Selfridges and Timberyard. with sugar and there you have it – with jam, though clotted cream was 75g currants fridge to set. Once slightly firmer, Soho, their little black van at Old Last but not least – Cocomaya in the Cruffin. Cocomaya in Marble occasionally proffered. 1 egg sprinkle with the salt Spitalfields Market, WholeFoods, Marble Arch presents their elegant Arch does a breath-taking version All three components – the hot, 100ml milk Compote Selfridges and various independent take in their CocoDough available in chocolate, strawberry, caramel crisp scones, rich butter and sweet Preheat the oven to 190°C fan. 250g soft fruit – whatever is in cafes across London. in salted caramel, Red Velvet, cheesecake and blueberry. The jam – are actually quite simple to Mix all the dry ingredients apart season, see above – with stems 3. The Cronut strawberry, chocolate and vanilla custard cream is smooth and light make, and keep well. So, if you fancy from the currants together, and chop removed, sliced. All hail Dominique Ansel – the (all £3.25). yet rich in flavour. The delicate making some on for a Sunday picnic in the butter. Crumble together Squeeze of lemon juice creator of the Cronut™. The chef 4. The Duffin layers of pastry maintained a in the park, don’t worry – they can with your hands – a food processor Sugar, to taste and owner of Dominique Ansel If a doughnut and a muffin had perfect balance of crispiness and all be made on the Saturday before, does this very quickly but is also a Simply add the fruit and lemon Bakery in New York – the patisserie a child, what would it be called? moisture – imagine the freshly and kept. Take some rose cava, a bugger to clean. juice to a pot and simmer gently on whose creations took the world by A Duffin.No joke. This doughnut- heated up pastries at the Library comfy blanket, and a condom. Add the currants, and mix in the stove until they break down. This storm. Expect to join the queue at muffin hybrid was invented by Beas Café in the morning. Their café has The scone recipe is my mother’s evenly. Whisk the egg with the milk, shouldn’t take too long. Add sugar 6am, two hours before the shop of Bloomsbury in 2013 and created a limited supply of them everyday, – and it’s a pretty traditional and incorporate into the mixture – to taste, stirring to dissolve, and opens. Lucky for us, three bakeries a huge fuss back then, including but Selfridges always has a not-so- one, though some plebs insist you may need a touch more milk. leave on the heat, stirring regularly, have come up with something controversy with Starbucks over who secret stash in the Food Hall. that currants (or “raisins” – never The mixture should be quite dry. until it thickens a touch. Pour into a CW from top left: nutella duffin, earl grey with soaked prune, apple crumble, along the same lines as the real actually created this Frankenstein in This is almost good enough for mother. Photo Credit: Wikicommons sultanas) do not belong in scones. Roll out the mixture to ~2cm small, clean jar, and refrigerate. salted caramel cheesecake cruffin. Photo Credit: Christy Lam deal. Dum Dum Donutterie in Box the first place. CHRISTY LAM friday 20 May

CHILL, HIP HOP, HOUSE, FUTURE BASS AND DNB

BPM (Beats Per Minute) will get your heart racing with its changing music sets throughout the night Friday 13 MAY COCKTAIL CLUB 20:00 - 02:00 Buy two cocktails for £7.60 Metric || FiveSixEight Every Friday from 20 May, starts 17:30

comingimperial up!collegeunion.org/food-drink Venue Regular Events Time Day Metric & FiveSixEight iPOP 20:00 - 02:00 Friday 20 May FiveSixEight Super Quiz 20:00 - 22:00 Every Tuesday Metric Cocktail Night 18:00 - 23:00 Every Tuesday Metric & FiveSixEight CSP Wednesday 19:00 - 01:00 Every Wednesday Metric & FiveSixEight Club Night 20:00 - 02:00 Every Friday h-bar Pub Quiz 19:00 - 21:00 2nd & 4th Thursday h-bar PGI Friday 16:00 onwards Every Friday Reynolds Quiz Night 19:00 - 23:00 Every Monday Reynolds Board Games & Film Night 18:00 - 23:00 Every Tuesday Reynolds Pool Club 18:00 - 23:00 Every Wednesday Reynolds Pizza Club 18:00 - 23:00 Every Thursday Reynolds Cocktail Club 17:30 - 01:00 Every Friday The Foundry Quiz Night 19:30 - 22:00 1st & 3rd Thursday imperialcollegeunion.org/whats-on felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20th MAY 2016 PAGE 25

TV [email protected] This week on Game of Thrones tell his parents. Nothing odd there. is appreciated anyway. Cersei and Jaime storm into the Darth Ramsay has a quick scene small council chambers to plot with where a woman tries to have sex the Tyrells to overthrow the Faith with him and then he stabs her in Militant and save Margaery before the throat. I can’t imagine Osha’s she has to repeat Cersei’s walk of actress was thrilled getting her shame. I’m not entirely sure that script for this season Incest Team Rocket can be trusted Afterwards, we head back to on this one; Cersei doesn’t seem too Castle Black to a meal fraught with worried about the upcoming Trial sexual tension between Brienne and Tormund with Edd looking on with an expression of horror. A Bolton This man arrives with a letter for Jon. To paraphrase; “Come at me bro, I’m proper mental. P.S. Gimme my wife episode had back”. Ramsay was never one for subtlety. Tormund then pledges the Wildling army to help Jon. a big theme For the episode’s finale, we head back to Vaes Dothrak where Dany of reunions is under judgment. The Dothraki continue to, surprisingly, be the comic relief, having a couple of and brother great lines. For the trial, however, Dany’s not the most diplomatic sort “Finally! A Lord that won’t try to use me!” Photo Credit: HBO so her idea of a defence argument is sister calling the judges a bunch of pussies Harry Wilkinson ahead in negotiations by employing plan. and setting the courthouse on fire. Writer prostitutes. Take notes business We then return to King’s Landing team ups She then strolls out and welcomes students. There were hints of the and it’s Margaery’s turn to appear the gathered horde bowing to her. I former slaves being unhappy about on the High Sparrow’s talk show. guess she’s a big believer in ‘If it ain’t third of the way through the terms that were reached but They have a bit of bible study by Combat so there’s not much gain broke don’t fix it’. the season and it’s really we’ll just have to wait and see how before he begins reminiscing about for her in this deal as far as I can see. Certainly the best of the season starting to get going. We this turns out for the dwarf and some orgy he went to a while ago Another return to the Iron Isles so far, this episode had a big theme pick up at the Wall where eunuch (isn’t that the name of a after he made some bitching shoes with Theon. Yara makes a couple of reunions and brother sister team Jon apparently had to pop back into pub?). and sends Margaery to speak with of dick jokes at his expense before ups. It also really got things moving CastleA Black after storming off last Loras. He’s completely broken at he makes her feel bad by crying in many of the storylines that had episode (“Jon you’ll need a coat! You this point; apparently there’s torture and pledging to help her become been treading water a bit, it really is of all people should know winter is Tyrion’s worse than getting read to by a nun. Queen at the Kingsmoot. I’m not starting to feel like we’re building coming!”). We then get the first of Cersei asks Tommen what the too sure what a tortured, cockless up to the finale now. the episode’s many reunions when old man has been telling him and guy with missing fingers can do to Game of Thrones is available on Sansa and Jon meet for the first time scene was Tommen says he promised not to help exactly but I’m sure the gesture HBO Go since back at the start of Season one. They have a really heart-warming scene reminiscing about Winterfell a great and Sansa attempts to convince Jon to take it back from Ramsay. return to the (“Hey brother I used to be a dick to! Wanna go murder my ex?”). Brienne also walks over to Davos diplomacy and Mel just to let them know that she murdered Stannis, the man they gave their lives to. She’s not the best from season at making friends, is she? We then head back to the Vale (get two your maps out, folks) where Irish Batman (or Littlefinger, as he prefers to be called) drops in to threaten an Super Daario and Jorah the old man then manipulate a teenager. Explorah have an argument about Standard Littlefinger stuff really, who’s going to bang Dany before not sure that even he knows exactly finding Vaes Dothrak and sneaking what the plan is there. in unarmed. Except Daario stashed Tyrion’s scene was a great return a knife. It’s just who he is. We get to the diplomacy from season two, another quick scene of Dany in the just in Meereen. Turns out, no bingo club before she storms out, matter where you are, you can get finding the boys and hatching a Dany gets her groove back! Photo Credit: HBO th th PAGE 26 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 PAGE 27

PUZZLES [email protected] PUZZLES [email protected] Nonogram Fever th th PAGE 28 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 PAGE 29

[email protected] [email protected]

Slitherlink PUZZLES Crossword PUZZLES FUCWIT Across Solo Efforts Sudoku Fever st 1 Deliverance (6) 1 Cherry Kwok 345 2nd Nicholas Sim 316 4 Small fowl (6) rd 8 Sudden uncontrollable 3 Ayojedi 117 4th Greg Poyser 87 fear (5) 5th King Lam Kwan 31 9 Formal speech (7) 6th Sunny Amrat 30 10 Chains, shackles (7) 7th Jan Xu 17 11 Gentle poke (5) 8th David Fengchu 12 True to life (9) Zhang 14 17 Relieved (5) 9th Grace Chin 13.5 19 One who settles 10th Sach Patel 13 disputes (7) 11th Harry Secrett 10 th 21 Pleasant and friendly in 12 Joshua Wan 8 13th QiaoqiaoFu 6 manner (7) th 22 Coins (anag) (5) 14 Jeremy Ong 3 15th Megha Agrawal 2 23 Foliage (6) 24 Pictures (6) Groups 1st CP Fanclub 145 2nd Pufuletzi 118 3rd Gap Yahhhh 58.5 th Down 4 The Gravitons 15 5th Parmesan 9.5 Word search Word Wheel 9 Stubborn (9) Find 17 characters/terms from the Scrubs series. 1 Swindle (3,3) 13 Capable of being heard (7) 2 US upper house member (7) 14 Sarcastic (7) Points Available 38 3 Male relative (5) 15 Remember (6) Sudoku 2 5 Opposed (7) 16 One of the planets (6) Killer Sudoku 3 6 Made an effort (5) 18 Capital of Bulgaria (5) Greater than Sudoku 3 7 Repaired (6) 20 Breast (5) Greater than Killer Sudoku 4 Crossword 2 Word Search 2 Riddles Slitherlink 2 1. Many have heard me, but 2. Alone I am 24th, with a Kakuro 2 no one has seen me and I will friend I am 20. Another friend Cryptogram 2 not speak back until spoken and I am mischievous. Riddle 1 to. What am I? What am I? Nonogram 5 Kakuro Solutions

Cryptogram

Send in your solutions to [email protected] before midday on Wednesday! Union Page

Take part in Mental Health Awareness Week

In support of Mental Health Awareness Week, the Student Counselling Service and partners are asking you to start a conversation about mental wellbeing.

This initiative was created by the Mental Health Foundation and is celebrated every year in May. The aim is to get people to talk more openly about the issues that surround mental health and to raise awareness of the issues people face.

To help you do this, the Staff Health and Wellbeing Team have put together a range of talks, lectures, and events including fitness classes and swimming sessions at Ethos and meditation with the Chaplaincy. Further support is also provided by The Advice Centre in the Union, which can be especailly during exam time - it is time to get people thinking about their own mental wellbeing. There will be hosting a number of stalls and events around several Imperial College campuses and the Health and Wellbeing team at Imperial offer support year round.

To find out what’s on offer and how to book go to: www.imperial.ac.uk/health-and-wellbeing/mental-health-awareness-week/ Imperial Plus Volunteer Qualification

Are you volunteering in a leadership position next year? Will you be responsible for managing other volunteers?

We have the opportunity for twenty volunteers to undertake the Institute of Leadership & Management Level 5 Award in the Management of Imperial Plus Volunteers, an externally-accredited, highly respected qualification. Developing your skills Holders of the award will be able to demonstrate to future employers a rare skill set – the ability to lead, organise and motivate volunteers, which can actually be harder than managing staff! It looks great on your CV too!

You can read more about the various modules offered in this qualification which focuses on promoting opportunities; motivating those around you, building up strong relationships with colleagues and friendly organisations, and being a leader in your area of responsibility. Applications are open now and close on Tuesday 24 May. Don’t miss out on this fantastic development opportunity, apply today.

Find out more by visiting imperialcollegeunion.org/ipvq

Have you registered for the EU referendum yet?

The EU referendum is fast approaching. Register to vote at www.gov. uk/register-to-vote by Tuesday 7 June if you haven’t done so already and get out to vote on 23 June. You can also vote by post or proxy if you won’t be around on the day but you need to make sure you apply for these separately. If you are living in halls you will need to make sure you are registered because changes to voter registration mean you are not automatically on the electoral register.

Who is eligible to vote in the EU Referendum?

A British or Irish citizens living in the UK

A Commonwealth citizens living in the UK who has (or does not require) leave to remain in the UK

Haven’t decided which way to vote yet? We’ll have campaign teams around College for the next few weeks to give you all the facts you need to make an informed choice. We’ll also be hosting a debate on Thursday 2 June at 18:30 in Skempton with speakers arguing both sides if you still need persuading either way.

imperialcollegeunion.org felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 20th MAY 2016 PAGE 31

HANGMAN [email protected] NEWS WITHOUT THE NEWS

WHEN YOU GET GIVEN SOMETHING YOU HATE 10 MINUTES INTO BREXIT AND CHILL AND HE GIVES YOU THIS LOOK BUT YOU'VE GOT TO WEAR IT ANYWAY TAURUS CANCER GEMINI VIRGO ARIES HOROSCOPES LEO

This week you decide to This week you finally sign a This week you are pretty sick This week you decide to go This week you read that This week you seem to be smuggle yourself out of the contract to the perfect place of your spanish girlfriend at on holiday after your exams eating potatoes four times disappointed about DJ Fresh country so you don’t have to that's near college and not the moment so as revenge with people from halls but a week increases your risk headlining summer ball but do any more exams, by hiding too pricy; however, after you decide you are going to leave it up to your Korean of death but you don’t care. that’s because you’re a fresher yourself in a large rucksack; signing it you realise that you vote for Brexit so it’s harder friend to decide where you If you have die to due from that doesn’t understand that however, you are left in the now have to look after the for her to come back after go. Turns out he’s from the potatoes so be it. It will be a the summer ball headliner is middle of Heathrow airport sex dungeon in the basement summer. Love you really. North and you end up in a glorious death. always shit. I heard Professor and they destroy you in a which involves a lot of slave labour camp where you Green hit a guy. controlled explosion. mopping up fluid. can’t even access Panopto. AQUARIUS SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN PISCES SCORPIO LIBRA

This week in a bid to become This week David Cameron This week you get invited to This week you're theThis week, you're a keen This week, you're the child chair at your club’s AGM calls you "divisive, stupid and a will.i.am gig because you Imperial President and you fraudster looking to con of a minor royal, walking the you try to assassinate your wrong". Bit harsh, I mean all happened to be outside the accidentally send an email some students. So you halls of Imperial doing your competition by slashing his you did was fail a few exams Royal Albert Hall in a boiler to the entire student and set up a higher education degree, whilst the rest of the bike cables; however, they here and there. Plus there was suit. However, once you staff bodies, saying: "please system that treats young student body studies on in also do the same to you and that one geophysics paper get inside you realise you're unsubscribe me from this people as customers, ignorance. But we know who you’re both RON’ed whilst in where you got the model trapped forever in will.i.am's list". Unfortunately, everyone puts off the poorest and you're there. Send us an email hospital. answers and almost scraped freak army of backing interprets this as a pro-Brexit actively encourages the best – it's at the top of the page. a 2:1. dancers, people who actually move and you are hastily universities to only accept own wearable tech and ousted from the college's those who can pay the most. runners up from The Voice. inner circle. th PAGE 32 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 20 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

WELFARE [email protected] Mental health helplines and How to survive exams resources Dealing with stress and getting help are easier than you might have If you are concerned about your own mental health or thought that of a loved one, there are people out there you can talk Simran Kukran to who can give you advice, Writer or will be there to listen.

Helplines and Online here is a lot to be stressed Resources out about at exam time. Whether it is your first If you are distressed and need year or your last, it is someone to talk to: difficult to balance the intense workloadT with other commitments, Samaritans such as arranging accommodation Phone: 08457 90 90 90 for next year. First and foremost, (24 hour helpline) if you feel you are struggling to www.samaritans.org.uk cope, whether you have pre-existing health conditions or not, the most For issues with anxiety: important thing to do is consult a medical professional. If feelings Anxiety UK of anxiety are disrupting your life, Phone: 08444 775 774 speak to your GP – a quarter of (Mon-Fri 09:30-17:30) all GP appointments are regarding www.anxietyuk.org.uk mental health, so a good GP should not have problems with leading the No Panic conversation. Phone: 0808 800 2222 The next step is to speak to (Daily 10:00-22:00) somebody at the university. If you www.nopanic.org.uk do not feel comfortable speaking to Feeling stressed? There are people you can talk to. Photo Credit: FELIX your hall warden or personal tutor, For eating disorders: the counselling service is great to contact, and won’t share anything arrangements may have deadlines. with your department without There are also things you can If stress is Beat your consent. If you do choose to do to help yourself cope. If you’re Phone: 0845 634 1414 A quarter disclose any information, they are a struggling socially, remember that affecting (Mon-Thurs 13:30-16:30) good go-to for negotiating deadline you are not obligated to attend www.b-eat.co.uk of all GP extensions and exam arrangements, anything if you don’t feel like and will be able to point you you have enough time, but it is your day- For addiction: appointments towards a designated staff member important to strike a balance so that in your department. For example, you don’t end up isolating yourself. to-day Alcoholics Anonymous with evidence of medical issues If you are feeling like a lack Phone: 0845 769 7555 are regarding you may be able to arrange separate of social interaction is affecting (24 hour helpline) accommodation for exams, or rest you in a bad way, make an effort functioning, mental health breaks if you need them. However, to integrate some group work Narcotics Anonymous it is important to note these into your revision plan. It may be try to Phone: 0300 999 1212 refreshing to mix it up if you’ve been (Daily 10:00-midnight) staring at your problem sheets alone www.ukna.org in the library. If stress is affecting pinpoint your day-to-day functions, try to College Resources pinpoint specific struggles you may specific Student Counselling Service have. For example, if you struggle Phone: 020 7594 9637 with preparing meals try cooking in Email: [email protected] batches when you feel more up to struggles you it, or arranging joint mealtimes with Imperial College Health flatmates. may have Centre Self-care should always be a Phone: 020 7584 6301 priority. Get a bit of exercise. If Email: [email protected] you can’t afford an hours’ gym is what gets you through your notes. session, consider getting off the If you are falling behind, remember You can also go to your academic tube a few stops early and walking that any work done is less work or personal tutor regarding for ten minutes. Celebrate the little to do, and it is important that you pastoral issues, especially if you achievements, and do not judge make time for yourself. Nothing is think your mental health might yourself if a nap in the middle of the more important than your health be affecting your academic If an overpriced hot chocolate is your thing, go for it. Photo Credit: pixabay day or an overpriced hot chocolate and wellbeing. performance.