Print these out and follow the instructions. Print these out and follow the instructions. You can say most of these things at any point You can say most of these things at any point before or during the game. before or during the game.

If you are amongst primarily If you are amongst primarily Giants fans patriots fans

[*if an announcer mentions that the Giants had the worst running game “Look, Brady didn’t look great in the title game, but he in the NFL*] “Sure, the Giants’ ground game wasn’t what it got the job done, didn’t he? [*nod slowly and try to look 1 could have been in the regular season, but they’ve moved the 1 fiercely proud, like brady is your only child and he just overcame ball in the playoffs, and that’s when it matters.” [*this is a meaningless some incredible adversity.*] That’s all that matters in my book. I statement, but don’t worry about that. just remember to say “ground game” have faith in Brady.” instead of “running game.” it means the same thing but it sounds more impressive.*] At any point in the game, say this: “One word, baby: GRONK. [*feel free to draw out the vowel in this word, if people “Eli’s got a lot of targets to choose from and I can’t say I’m all 2 seem receptive. like so: “Groooooooonk.”*] Actually, two that impressed with the Patriots secondary. [*pause for a second words: Gronk and Hernandez. Unstoppable.” [*This nonsense- 2 and then screw up your face as if you’re about to admit a difficult talk is as inane as it sounds, but the other Patriots fans will congratulate truth, then shake your head and say the following under your breath.*] Well, and high five you when you say it. Feel free to make whooping noises except Kyle Arrington maybe. He’ll have to throw away from while this is going on.*] Arrington.” [*literally any time the Patriots running back named BenJarvus [*note: remember to always refer to the Giants’ main thrower, Eli Manning, Green-Ellis touches the ball, say “Uh-oh, looks like it’s time for by his first name. However, if you need to talk about the main thrower on the 3 the law firm!” This is invariably hilarious and never gets old no Patriots, Tom Brady, you should refer to him by his surname. Why this is the matter how many times you say it.*] case is a total mystery, but it is EXTREMELY important not to get that mixed up.] [*After a quarter or so of play, the Giants quarterback, Eli Manning, will begin to make sullen, pouty faces on the sideline [*Any time the Giants player named Victor Cruz catches the football, 4 like he is a five-year-old who has just dropped his ice cream. stand up and shout his last name whilst dragging out the “u” When this happens, make a variation on the following statement in a 3 sound.”CRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZ.” Even though it will sound like mocking tone of voice.*] “Awwww, looks like the big bad Pats are you are booing him, this will be understood as a positive expression of too much for little old Eli. Why don’t you go crying home to enthusiasm.*] Archie?” [*always say “Pats” instead of “Patriots.” it makes it sound like they’re your personal friends. archie is eli manning’s dad. it’s always [*if the Patriots have the lead in the fourth quarter of the game*] a good idea to reference other mannings if you get the opportunity.*] “People talk about Tebow or whatever, but Eli’s engineered, 4 what is it, nine game-winning comebacks this year? [*that number is actually seven, but it pays to exaggerate in these circumstances.*] My money’s still on the Giants.”