▶ Memorializing Harada Now, here. Tangen Roshi points Two eulogies: A physicist speaks Tangen Roshi friend, out that what we most deeply long for everyone, and a son remembers teacher, and an unforgettable man. for is already here. his dad.

SUMMER 2018 | VOLUME XL, NUMBER TWO editor BOWChris Pulleyn | [email protected] editorial consultant The mind of the Zen adept is taut—ready, like a drawn bow Roshi | [email protected] COPY EDITOR Summer 2018 | Volume xl, Number two Cecily Fuhr | [email protected] Art Director nearly 30 years ago I traveled with our 3 M SOUNDINGS Daryl Wakeley | [email protected] daughter to Bukkokuji to meet with Tangen proofreader Roshi. My objective, or so I thought at the A child of rich birth | A correction | John Pulleyn time, was to gather background material on Remembering the first law of Call for submissions Roshi so that I could write thermodynamics | What is a student of the Roshi? | A father’s love, finally All readers are encouraged to submit essays and his definitive biography. The fact that I had images at any time and on any topic related to Zen neither the skills nor the temperament of revealed | Definition of “roshi” practice. Articles may be of any length. Suggestions for articles and artwork are also welcome, as are a biographer had not yet occurred to me, “found objects” such as quotations, haiku, and/ and I proceeded to interview Tangen Roshi or excerpts from articles in other publications. Roshi Bodhin Kjolhede Submission guidelines may be found on the Zen Bow with the energy of a reporter covering a page of the Center’s website: www.rzc.org/library/ complex story, looking for the juicy bits as Harada Tangen Roshi zen-bow. For any and all questions and suggestions, well as the facts. 1924–2018 please email Chris Pulleyn at [email protected]. Aided by the late Belenda Attaway Brushes with death, boundless subscribing to Zen Bow Yamakawa, the roshi’s interpreter, I asked energy, and the many manifestations The subscription rate below reflects current postage Tangen Roshi numerous questions about of Kannon: Tangen Roshi’s life and fees : his old friend: What was his first impression 4 issues 8 issues lessons. ▶ 6 U.S. : $20.00 $40.00 of Kapleau-san? How did he fit into the Foreign : $40.00 $80.00 monastic community? Were there any Wes Borden, Jonathan Please send checks and your current address to : memorable anecdotes he wished to share Sheldon, Shirley (Somyo) Helvey, Zen Bow Subscriptions Desk with me? To each question, Tangen Roshi & Dharman (shindo) Stortz Rochester Zen Center 7 Arnold Park replied with some variation on the same Our memories Rochester, NY 14607 theme: “Ah, Kapleau-san. He worked very of Tangen Roshi please note : If you are moving, the Postal Service hard.” charges us for each piece of mail sent to your Towards the end of our conversation, Anecdotes from former and present old address, whether you have left a forwarding address or not. If you change your address, please reflecting on the many years since he had inhabitants of Bukkokuji. ▶ 12 let us know as soon as possible. Send your address seen his Dharma brother, Tangen Roshi corrections to the Zen Bow Subscriptions Desk at Harada Tangen Roshi the above address or email [email protected]. lifted his eyes, smiled, and waved one hand

in a gesture of pure delight, saying “It’s all a Awaken to the True Self Countless Good Deeds dream.” I was gobsmacked, and still am. Tangen Roshi himself speaks about If you’re thinking about financial planning, estate When I returned home, my husband planning, or both, please remember that there are his life and practicing in the here and myriad ways you can help the Rochester Zen Center asked me, “How was Tangen Roshi?” I burst now. ▶ 21 through planned giving. The right kind of plan into tears. There was nothing to say. can help you reduce your taxes significantly while providing for a larger, longer-lasting gift to the Zen Center. Because there is a wide array of bequests, 26 M SIGHTINGS annuities, trusts, and other financial vehicles to consider, you’ll want to work with your financial Letters to the Editor | Reader reviews | advisor to decide what’s best for you. Long-time A new Buddha arrives in Auckland Zen Center member David Kernan, an attorney who concentrates his practice in tax law, has generously offered to help point you in the right direction at no charge. For more information about planned giving and David’s offer, please contact the Center’s receptionist.

ON THE COVER COPYRIGHT ©2018 ROCHESTER ZEN CENTER. FOR REPRINTS PHOTO by Amaury Cruz | Amaury is a retired lawyer, writer, political AND OTHER PERMISSIONS, PLEASE CONTACT THE EDITOR AT activist, and award-winning photographer. He is especially fond of nature, [email protected]. including mountains, rivers, and the sea—above and below the surface. THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN ZEN BOW ARE THOSE OF THE INDIVIDUAL CONTRIBUTORS ALONE AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE ROCHESTER ZEN CENTER, ITS A publication of the Rochester Zen Center DIRECTORS, ITS TRUSTEES, ITS MEMBERS, OR ITS STAFF.

2 ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 Summer 2018 Soundings

CHILD’S PLAY His answer was really quite different— My youngest son was four last January thoughtful, considered, and reflective. [2013]. On the morning of his birthday, as Now don’t get me wrong. I didn’t say, we were walking to nursery I asked him, “What a terrible answer, Hugh! That’s not a “How does it feel to be four?” Quick as a word of Zen!” Because there was nothing flash he answered, “Cold!” I thought wow, wrong with his answer, of course. It was what a great answer, a real word of Zen. also perfect in its own way. Developing this Ummon himself couldn’t have done any ability to think rationally, critically, and to better! Spontaneous, in the moment, and reflect on experience is a normal and abso- completely one with the circumstances in lutely necessary part of growing up. which he finds himself. But along the way, we lose touch with If you spend time with young chil- something. We lose touch with the more FERMILAB dren, you also see that they have a special childlike side of our nature. We lose touch transparency. They can’t hide anything— with the simplicity, openness, and respon- literally. When my rail card or my wallet siveness that we have clearly all had at A EULOGY FROM A PHYSICIST goes missing just before I go to work in the some stage. Master Hakuin expresses this You want a physicist to speak at your morning, I ask Zach if he’s hidden it. He’ll in his “Chant in Praise of ” saying, funeral. You want the physicist to talk to say, “Yes! But it’s not under the sofa, don’t “Like a child of rich birth wandering poor your grieving family about the conserva- look there!” So we play this little game and on this earth, we endlessly circle the six tion of energy, so they will understand spend a few minutes looking for it before worlds.” that your energy has not died. You want finding it, you guessed it, under the sofa. Each one of us is this child of rich birth. the physicist to remind your sobbing There’s so much in the mind and behav- We always have been and we always will mother about the first law of thermody- ior of a young child that is similar to the be. The old masters never tire of remind- namics: that no energy gets created in work we’re doing here. Similar to our hopes ing us of this. Mumon offers us the finest the universe, and none is destroyed. You and aspiration for practice: this sponta- wine in China, and we can eat the fanciest want your mother to know that all your pastry straight out of Kuan Yin’s hands. energy, every vibration, every BTU of heat, Only the richest person can really appreci- every wave of every particle that was her ate these wonderful things. beloved child remains with her in this We may believe, and leaders are world. You want the physicist to tell your always telling us, that this practice is hard, weeping father that amid energies of the that is so tough. Well, they’re cosmos, you gave as good as you got. wrong. This is easy. What is really tough And at one point you’d hope that the is to “endlessly circle the six worlds.” To physicist would step down from the pulpit be trapped in this world of dualism, self and walk to your brokenhearted spouse and other, good and bad. To be trapped there in the pew and tell him that all neous, transparent simplicity, with noth- inside this prison of our own making. This the photons that ever bounced off your ing hidden, everything out in the open. endless cycle of thoughts. face, all the particles whose paths were When my older son (who was eight So we return to our practice and the interrupted by your smile, by the touch of at the time) saw how interested I was in child returns. We return to our practice your hair, hundreds of trillions of par- Zach’s answer, he asked me to ask him the and the child starts to play. We dive deep- ticles, have raced off like children, their same question. So I asked him, “How does er into this “ of frolic and play.” ways forever changed by you. And as your it feel to be eight?” He thought for a while We see that all this work, all this effort, widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, and said something like, “Well, it’s great is not difficult. It’s child’s play.—Sensei may the physicist let her know that all being able to read more on my own and Karl Kaliski, Cloud Water Zen Centre, the photons that bounced from you were I’m definitely getting better at football.” Glasgow gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created CORRECTIONS AND ADDITIONS within her constellations of electromag- In the Spring 2018 issue we neglected to credit Center member Geoff Taylor for his translation netically charged neurons whose energy into English of Roshi Sante Poromaa’s book, The Net of Indra: in Science and (2009). will go on forever. We regret the omission. And the physicist will remind the ▶

ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 3 ▷ SOUNDINGS

congregation of how much of all our ener- measure, that scientists have measured EULOGY FOR MY DAD gy is given off as heat. There may be a few precisely the conservation of energy and Speaker for the Dead is one of my fanning themselves with their programs found it accurate, verifiable and consis- favorite books by Orson Scott Card. The as he says it. And he will tell them that the tent across space and time. You can hope title refers to a person who speaks for the warmth that flowed through you in life is your family will examine the evidence deceased as a neutral third party—some- still here, still part of all that we are, even and satisfy themselves that the science one who doesn’t know the departed, and as we who mourn continue the heat of our is sound and that they’ll be comforted to therefore can speak honestly about the own lives. know your energy’s still around. Accord- person. The goal is to provide an authentic And you’ll want the physicist to explain ing to the law of the conservation of representation of who the person was. to those who loved you that they need energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just Dad was a huge sci-fi fan, and so I think not have faith; indeed, they should not less orderly. Amen.—Aaron Freeman, it’s fitting to take a page from that novel. have faith. Let them know that they can physicist and writer, on NPR in 2005 Of course, I’m hardly a neutral third party, but this isn’t fiction and I think I can do dad justice. What does it mean to be a student of the Roshi? What do you I believe the older generation needs do? How often do you do it? What are the expectations? Is to show the younger generation how to there a beginning/middle/end, or is it a relationship that lasts “do” life—how to live and die with grace. as long as any other relationship? Dad’s death was a good one—he showed us how to die with dignity. He didn’t go Q For my part, vows. In formalizing the partnership, it kicking and screaming; there weren’t the teacher-stu- is enriched through the commitment accusations; he didn’t lash out at the dent relation- involved. (However, if a student does doctors or beg them to do something to ship is open-end- want to try working with another teacher save him (there was nothing they could ed. Unless the for a limited time, such as in sesshin, I’m do). Instead, once he learned that he &student formallyA ends it, I consider the usually okay with it.) was going to die, he spent his remaining relationship intact as long as the student Dokusan is a place to bring questions hours and minutes telling us he loved us, remains a member of the Center. This and problems about your practice. But holding our hands, smiling at us, making makes me more permissive than some they’re not necessary. You don’t need a goofy faces, even joking around a bit. Zen teachers, who require, for example, reason to come to dokusan; dokusan is He asked us kids to take care of mom. It that students attend two 7-day beyond reason. It never hurts to come takes a highly evolved person to be able a year. Such a requirement does have to dokusan just to briefly check in. Even to think of the wellbeing of others as he to it; indeed, I’ve always felt some if the student has nothing, I might have himself is dying. I had never expected regret that so many of my students something to bring up with the student—a this from dad because he seemed so seldom come to dokusan—or even sit- question or two, say, or a suggestion about unsatisfied in life—but I was wrong, in tings—outside sesshin. Over the years posture. Nothing can emerge in dokusan if so many ways. I’ve considered that or some other, lesser the student doesn’t come to dokusan. Dad was a complex person who suf- requirement that would encourage the In dokusan itself, I don’t distinguish fered for reasons we couldn’t fully under- student to engage with me other than at between students and non-students ex- stand. He was frequently angry over taxes, Sunday brunches. But I take a long view: cept with regard to assigning the person over people who didn’t understand his a student’s aspiration typically waxes a ; usually I’m disinclined to start a complex ideas—he was a genius inventor and wanes over time, and I want to be non-student on a koan since it demands a and designer who often knew the solution there for him or her through thick and bit more of him (and me). Why, then, be- to a problem before anyone else could see thin. Besides, householders can have come a student? To return to the analogy it, yet he would become frustrated if he a lot in play in their lives that impedes above, the financial and legal advantages had to explain himself. That was one side their coming to dokusan or sesshin. that come with marriage over cohabiting of him. Before accepting someone as a student, don’t apply, of course. But I probably do He was also a charming, fun-loving, usually I want the person to have come to feel a bit more responsible for those who intellectually curious person, and an at least half a dozen dokusans. This gives have formalized the relationship than for endless jokester. He deeply loved his both of us the experience of working to- others. Furthermore, I know from when I family and doted on his grandchildren. gether in that context, which is the heart became a student of Roshi Kapleau that it But when he told us how he felt about us, of the teacher-student exchange. Once is a change that can offer you the stron- I sometimes thought his words weren’t we’ve formalized that bond, I prefer that gest of allies and so keep you on track. sincere, that if he had to say these the student not dilute our collaboration While it’s true that teaching in Zen is a things so much maybe he was trying by taking dokusan with another teacher. no-teaching, with nothing to be learned, to convince himself they were true; I An analogy for this is the shift that occurs still it’s helpful to have an experienced thought maybe he was trying to make when a couple goes from living in a mar- guide who can help you realize that truth. up time, time he wasted complaining. I ried state to sealing the deal with wedding —Roshi Bodhin Kjolhede was wrong. Dad had been sincere, but

4 ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 ▷ SOUNDINGS

▲ A rakusu given by Tangen Roshi to Bodhin same way. It was like dad had released us roshi \'rō-∫ē\ n [Japanese ‘venerable Kjolhede when he was staying at Bukkokuji. The from the burden of worrying about him, teacher’] the spiritual leader of a inscription on the left says, “For Zen brother Ven. from that part of him that was restless. community of Zen Buddhist monks Bodhin, in remembrance, from Daisetsu Tangen, He died content, satisfied. After that Bukkokuji, June, Showa 60 [1985].” On the right, realization, I began thinking about all the “While sensei belongs to the everyday lan- the three big characters read, literally, “plum- people I’d argued with over the years, all guage of , roshi is a term largely re- flower-go.” One could interpret this as “May the the conflicts and drama and ill-will. And stricted to the Zen sect. Literally it carries fragrance of plum blossoms follow you always.” I began to wonder, what would it be like the meaning of ‘venerable teacher’; i.e., if we could sit at everyone’s deathbed— one who commands respect and reverence I missed it while he was alive. What I metaphorically speaking. It’s like this, if by reason of great age or impressive dig- realized while dad was dying, and in the we see that we can drop our end of things, nity. The abbot of a , the chief hours after his death when his life un- our side of an argument when a person is priest of a temple, or a lay teacher beyond folded in front of me in old pictures, in dying, then why wait? Go with everyone the age of, say, sixty could be addressed his papers, and in his writings, was that to their deathbeds. Make peace with them, as Roshi and the honorific would imply dad did love all of us deeply, and that he only, don’t wait until the moment of their nothing more than great respect…. didn’t regret his life. Even when dad was death—do it now. And when ill-will or “Not many Westerners are aware, I be- cranky, he never wanted to be anywhere bad feelings arise again, go again to their lieve, that roshi is essentially an honorific except with us—with mom, his kids, his deathbeds, and again, and again. Make it employed by a teacher’s own disciples grandkids, his family, his friends. At a daily practice to be at peace with each and followers, and not a title or degree times I thought dad would never be hap- other. This was dad’s parting gift. bestowed on one upon completion of a py, that nothing would satisfy him. But Dad was a multifaceted person who prescribed course of study or in recogni- now, looking over his life, it’s clear to me was at once happy, angry, inventive, tion of certain high spiritual accomplish- that he was happy. judgmental, joyous, loving, restless, ments. This explains why no Japanese (in After dad died, my siblings and I stood and peaceful. To quote Whitman, “Do Japan) would ever call himself roshi or around him in the hospital room. Mom I contradict myself?/Very well then I sign his name that way.”—­ Roshi Philip touched dad’s arm and said, “All the contradict myself./(I am large, I contain Kapleau (Zen Bow, Vol. I, No. 6) drama just melted away.” I had felt the multitudes.)”—Bryan Hoffman

ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 5 Tangen Roshi and Philip Kapleau in 1970. Roshi Kapleau was on a pilgrimage with three of his students after founding the Rochester Zen Center in 1966. 1924 HARADA TANGEN ROSHI 2018

There is probably no more potent fuel for spiritual aspiration text by than an awareness of the inexorable law of transience. Tangen Roshi’s early life Roshi Bodhin Kjolhede was marked by loss and unusual suffering. His mother, after being warned by Photograph OPPOSITE by Pat Simons doctors that bringing her pregnancy to term could things, though not unusual in adolescence, seems prove fatal, did die while he was still an infant. For to have been especially acute. But then, at age the rest of his life he felt a deep indebtedness to 18, he had a glimpse of that which is beyond suf- her, and a love that later evolved into a special fering. During a school vacation, he climbed a affinity for the Kannon. small mountain alone. On the way up, consumed From childhood on, Tangen Roshi later said, he by self-reproach, he found himself chanting the was “always very rebellious—as though in search rules of an acclaimed preparatory school which, of something”—and by age 12 his search began in he later surmised, brought his mind to a puri- Many of the photos in this issue came earnest. A deep questioning arose in him as to the fied state. Once atop the mountain, the strong from the Zen Center photo archives and essential nature of things: “There is something I wind seemed to sweep away his feelings of worth- from Dharman (Shindo) Stortz at Bukkokuji. When the photographer is known, we have feel but don’t understand. I can sense its presence, lessness. Looking out over the Pacific Ocean, he credited her or him, and we wish to thank but can’t grasp it.” felt himself expanding into an oceanic feeling of the anonymous photographers who also His feeling of separation from people and oneness with everything around him. It was a contributed their work.

ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 7 life-altering experience that left him feeling held, Siddhartha after his own period of fanatical as- and protected, by a benevolent universe. It would ceticism, he finally found a greater balance in his prove instrumental in enabling him to survive the efforts, and subsequently came to his first kensho. suffering yet to come. At age 29, Tangen was the head monk at Hos­ When he turned 20, toward the end of World shinji when Philip Kapleau first walked through War II, Tangen joined the Japanese Air Force in the monastery gates in 1953. Kapleau’s studies in China and volunteered to be a kamikaze (suicide) Zen philosophy under D.T. Suzuki in New York pilot. After a year of intensive training, he was had convinced him of the Zen saying, “A picture of assigned to his first—and final—flight. Just as a cake doesn’t satisfy hunger,” even as it left him he was about to board his plane, after the ritual brimming with concepts about Zen. But by now cup of sake, he heard Emperor Hirohito’s voice Tangen had developed the insight to see through on a loudspeaker, announcing Japan’s surrender. Kapleau-san’s intellectual pride and brashness, Overwhelmed by the timing of this turnabout, he recognizing beneath it the same anguished vowed to dedicate his life to the service of others. searching of his own youth. Their countries had been mortal enemies, leaving them both scarred Circumstances still impeded him, howev- and dedicated to realizing that which united er. In the aftermath of the war, he was captured them: their innately enlightened nature. by the Russians and held in a POW camp in con- Tangen also must have seen that Kapleau-san, ditions of severe hardship. Then Kannon again his senior by 12 years, had the full package: the seemed to intervene. According to one source, compelling need to come to realization, and the de- a Russian officer forced him at gunpoint to sit termination to do so. His demands on Kapleau-san down and drink vodka with him. Tangen ended up matched his faith in him. Once when the American drinking so much that he had to be hospitalized, newcomer was sitting in the dokusan line, Tangen, and it was just then that the others in his group who alone at the monastery had learned a little were sent to Siberia, never to return. English, was sitting behind him ready to go in with When Tangen returned to Japan, in 1946, he him as his interpreter. No sooner had Kapleau-san was in a state of mental distress and soul-searching. struck the bell and stood up than Tangen, with- A friend suggested zazen, which led him to attend out warning, struck him violently behind the ear. some sesshins at a nunnery. The abbess, a disciple Kapleau-san, enraged, took a swing at him, but of Harada Sogaku Roshi, then pointed him to the with no time to lose, stormed straight in to see latter’s monastery, Hosshinji (founded 1521). The Harada Roshi. For the first time, Kapleau-san was spartan training at Hosshinji proved to be a perfect able, in his aroused state, to respond to the Roshi fit for the young Tangen, and in Harada Roshi he no-mindedly, from the guts rather than the head. found the teacher to whom he would remain for- Harada Roshi signaled his delight. From then on, ever devoted (and who would become his adoptive Kapleau writes in Zen: Merging of East and West, he father). Harada Roshi’s teaching galvanized and found himself “operating on a higher energy level, harnessed the spiritual longing that had built up and at dokusan was no longer afraid of the roshi.” over his short life of loss and suffering. Tangen had known well that compassion can take It has been said, “Anxiety is like a match—light the form of harshness. it and it will show you the way out.” At Hosshinji, Tangen’s angst drove him to sit like a house on He also meted out his special compassion for fire. For his first three years there, he wouldn’t the American even when doing so cost him pre- lie down to sleep, instead doing zazen through cious sleep. On the last night of a seven-day sesshin, the night. He would sometimes sit in a bamboo after the formal schedule had ended for the day, grove on the mountain behind the monastery, Kapleau-san secluded himself in the bathhouse gripping one of the trunks and roaring, “! MU! to continue his sitting. Tangen, ever solicitous MU!” He once became so exasperated that he of his struggling foreign charge, followed him in punched himself in the face, dislocating his jaw. and spent hours urging him on with the kyosaku ROSHI BODHIN KJOLHEDE, Later he would surely have realized the absurdity (encouragement stick). By the end of the night, the abbot of the Rochester Zen of punishing himself. they had bonded to a degree unique to such shared Center, trained under Tangen Through his long-sustained exertions he had exertions. As dawn broke, they silently embraced, Roshi for three months in the lost much weight and grown increasingly weak. and Kapleau remained even further indebted to 1980s. But one of the wondrous effects of wholeheart- his mentor, friend, and Dharma-brother. ed zazen is its self-correcting power, and like In 1955 Harada Roshi sanctioned Tangen as a

8 ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 A REMARKABLE LIFE. Top left: Tangen Roshi as a young monk. Top center: Bodhin Kjolhede and Tangen Roshi in 1985 (photo by Wes Borden). Top right: Tangen Roshi with a reading for the Kannon Day ceremony. Center and center right: Smiling, with and without a deer. Bottom left: After hav- ing been recently released from hospital. Bottom right: As a kamikaze pilot, receiving sake before his scheduled suicide mission. teacher, and sent him to the dilapidated old tem- for Tangen Roshi in dokusan, but with respect to ple of Bukkokuji (founded 1502), half a mile from “Isho. . . what else was happening at the temple, even she Hosshinji, to begin teaching. Just 31 years old then, often left us fellow gaijin in the dark. Soon after Tangen spent his days rebuilding and repairing the kenmei . . . .” arriving there, I happened to see her, across the temple, conducting ceremonies, and going on taku- central courtyard, heading to the Buddha Hall in hatsu (mendicancy) to raise money before sitting (“With a special robe. “Belenda, what’s going on?” I called in zazen into the night. out. “Oh, we’re celebrating the Buddha’s Birth- Although Bukkokuji was not a fully certified all your day”—in Rochester one of the two biggest week- training temple, Tangen Roshi’s reputation as a ends of the year. The next month they had Jukai teacher and example of compassion and wisdom heart” ) (the ceremony of receiving the Buddhist precepts), gradually spread internationally by word of mouth. but I only heard about it some 20 minutes into the By the mid-90s as many as 60 participants from ■ ceremony. To be sure, both of these events were around the world were crowding into his sesshins. tiny-scale there, but Jukai is considered the most Eventually he was offered a senior position at Ei- “Most significant of all Buddhist ceremonies other than heiji, one of the two mother-temples of the Jap- ordination. Leaving the gaijin to fend for them- anese Soto Zen school, but he politely declined. important selves for information may have been a feature of Not long afterward, he suffered a heart attack, but Tangen Roshi’s teaching. “Never explain” is a key after recovering he resumed teaching. Later he was pleasure: directive that in Rochester Roshi diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, which finally Kapleau himself often cited (while nonetheless brought his teaching career to a halt. ‘Only providing plenty of printed rules and guidelines— an accommodation to Western needs). No biographical profile of a Zen teacher doing.’ ” The relatively laissez-faire tone at Bukkokuji woud be complete without some description of was difficult for this Kapleau disciple to adjust the training at the temple, which always reflects ■ to. We were assigned only 1½ hours of work a the teacher’s understanding and practical appli- day, with Tangen Roshi urging us to “just take cation of the Dharma. In March, 1985, I arrived “One… your time—no rush.” Seldom was any instruction at Bukkokuji for three months of Zen training given in how to do the job, and it was usually not (with another three months at Sogenji later in the way…!” clear who one’s supervisor was, or even if there year). The challenge I faced is known to anyone were any at all. There were tea breaks, lasting as with involvement at one Zen center upon entering long as 45 minutes, every morning and evening, a temple with a different teacher: adapting to dif- and we were expected to stop talking (which was ferences in procedures, policies, and other forms. scant anyway) when the roshi was present. Most The challenge is especially difficult in Japan, where of the day between the morning and evening sit- these prescribed norms are typically not explained tings was unstructured. It was not uncommon to new residents; the newcomer is expected to for lay students (non-residents) to come late to learn them simply by joining with the others in sittings. Most residents belted the dokusan bell the daily rounds and always keeping eyes and ears hard, evidently without correction. Tangen Roshi open. The key value is to adapt and harmonize with never ended dokusan until everyone had had the the group, as enshrined in the Japanese warning: chance to get in, which sometimes cut into meals, “The nail that sticks up gets pounded down.” leaving residents waiting for him at the table to Bukkokuji was one of the few residential train- begin. And since the dokusan room had no doors, ing temples in Japan that accepted gaijin (for- anyone walking by could have looked in to see eigners), most of whom arrived there seemingly what was happening there. as ignorant of Japanese Zen monastic rules as At Bukkokuji sesshins the kyosaku was used of Japanese culture generally. Tangen Roshi was noticeably less than it was in Rochester at the time, willing to go the extra distance to give even those and drastically less compared to Rochester sesshins with no Zen experience a shot. in the 1970s. Accounts in The Three Pillars of Zen After 14 years of residential training under suggest that the stick may have been heaviest of a teacher with long training himself in Japan, all when Kapleau-san was at Hosshinji—when I landed at Bukkokuji with an introduction to Tangen-san was the head monk. When I mar- Japanese Zen culture. But like most of the gaijin veled at this change in stick culture from that of there, I neither understood nor spoke any Japa- Tangen-san of the 1950s to Tangen Roshi of 1985, nese. There was a young American woman who Rochester member Wes Borden, who was knew enough Japanese to sometimes interpret with me at Bukkokuji at the time, recounted how

10 ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 he had asked Tangen Roshi about this while there At a tea break one day, Tangen Roshi told on a previous visit. In reply, Tangen Roshi, speak- us of a woman who had just joyfully informed ing through interpreter and fellow RZC member him that her husband, who had needed surgery Kenneth Kraft, explained: “When Harada Roshi for stomach cancer eight months earlier, was died, the training at Hosshinji fell apart. I realized just pronounced cured. When the wife had first that it was because the discipline was all from the learned of his diagnosis, Tangen Roshi said, she outside. So now I think the discipline should come came to him overwrought with concern. “What from the inside. I used to hit the monks terrifically do you think I told her?” he asked us, beaming. hard with the kyosaku, but now I hit like a baby.” Someone guessed, “Kannondo (Kannon Room).” I took this story to heart, and after succeeding “That was the second thing I told her,” he grinned. Roshi Kapleau in Rochester the following year had “What was the first thing?” Finally, he told us: our sesshin monitors dial down the use of the “Surrender.” kyosaku to what it has been ever since. Tangen At the morning tea break on my first day at Roshi’s belief in nurturing discipline “from the “Most Bukkokuji, Tangen Roshi passed around maple inside” would also explain the largely unstruc- sugar candies that I had brought him from Roch- tured daily schedule at Bukkokuji. Having a “wide important ester. This reminded him, he said, of the deep pasture” of free time at our disposal imposed on karma he felt with a maple tree that had saved us the decision of how to use that time. In a sense, pleasure: his life right after taking charge of Bukkokuji. it demands more of each individual. While hiking on the mountain behind the temple, health.” he had slipped and fallen over a precipice. About If the atmosphere at Bukkokuji was generally thirty feet down he was caught in his midsection looser than at many Zen centers I’d been to, in ■ by the single branch left on the tree, which left some ways it was stricter. Obedience to Tangen him with permanent pain in his hip. But it saved Roshi was non-negotiable. No one was permitted “Sun him from almost certain death. While falling, he to go outside the walls of the temple without his said, he realized “ego... unnecessary....” Then he explicit permission. There were no days off from always brought out the branch itself, which someone, to the schedule of morning and evening sittings, his regret, had cut off to present to him. with wake-up always at 3:45 am. The three meals rises! It is hardly surprising, given Tangen Roshi’s each day were mainly rice. Before going out on three narrow escapes from death, that his faith takuhatsu we had to submit to his meticulous Don’t in the grace of Kannon was unwavering. Where- inspection of our attire—after all, we were rep- as the Buddha’s Birthday and Jukai were both resenting the Dharma to the public—and he once worry!” minor observances, the Kannon Day Ceremony, adjusted my undershirt at the throat to make an held every month, lasted 2½ hours. Beyond that, exposed quarter-inch of it disappear. Belenda ■ in his own person he proved himself, every day recounted that he had been “furious” with her from before dawn until after dusk, the flowing for shaving her head without his permission (“He “Only. . . embodiment of compassion. Just as Kannon fig- says that I should look like a woman”). ures are sometimes shown with many heads and Shortly after I had settled in at Bukkokuji, we doing-g-g . . . .” arms, he seemed to notice everything about his were all roused from bed at midnight by the roshi’s students and respond to them according to their lilting cries through the courtyard: “Accident...!” needs, whether sternly or tenderly. “Fire...!” “Accident...!” “Fire...!” Unbeknownst to When taking leave of Tangen Roshi and Buk- us, this was his way of memorializing an act of kokuji on the day after a seven-day sesshin, Wes arson committed on that night two years earlier, and I were mortified to see Tangen Roshi wake all when a mentally disturbed resident set a fire in the residents from their deep, hard-earned naps the zendo building. Alarmed, we streamed out of to see us off at the temple gate. Later I came to see our rooms to fight the blaze in a hastily-formed this gesture as not just Japanese etiquette, but a bucket brigade, with Tangen Roshi spurring us on tribute to us that signaled the same faith he had excitedly, only to find ourselves heaving water onto in everyone—“all buddhas, bodhisattva-mahasat- the cold cement pyramid of memorial tablets in the tvas.” No doubt he hoped that it would leave us graveyard. After some 15 minutes of this he had us determined to live up to his respect. That morn- change clothes and sit in the zendo for a short talk ing, over tea with us, he said, “Zen is dying in by him. Then we repaired to the dining room for Japan and being reborn in America.” His life of rice balls and special tea while he regaled us with exertion has done much to keep the flame of the hearty reminiscences of details of the actual fire. Dharma alive in both East and West. / / /

ZEN BOW SPRING 2018 11 Our memories of TANGEN ROSHI

Texts by Wes Borden, Fortunately, the name of the train station, “Obama,” was Jonathan Sheldon, Shirley (Somyo) Helvey, written in English, as well as in Japanese, so at least I knew where to get off the & Dharman (Shindo) Stortz train from Kyoto. That was in 1979, nearly 40 years ago, when I was in Japan

for the first time, to attend a conference on the- to a training monastery. I wondered how long I oretical chemistry in Kyoto. Despite the fact that might have to wait in the garden at Bukkokuji. I could speak only about 10 words of Japanese However, within half an hour Tangen Roshi ap- and could read even fewer, I had slipped away peared. He was small in stature and quite ordinary from the conference for two days in order to visit looking. He said nothing to me. Instead, he just Harada Tangen Roshi at Bukkokuji, his temple in led me to the hondo, the building in a Zen temple Obama, Japan. where a statue of the Buddha or of Kannon Bodhi- When I got off the train, I had no idea of where sattva is enshrined. Bukkokuji was, how to get to the temple, or how Once there, I handed Tangen Roshi the yokan to ask for directions to it. Therefore, I got into a (Japanese sweet) that I had bought in Kyoto for taxi and said “Bukkokuji,” in the hope that the taxi him, which he immediately placed on the altar, driver would take me there. He dropped me at the without a word of thanks. Instead, he handed gate of a temple, which I assumed was Bukkokuji; me a lit stick of incense, which he indicated that but I saw no one. However, soon I heard the un- I should offer at the altar. After the -in mistakable sound of a kyosaku (encouragement cense, I did three prostrations. stick) being used, so I guessed that I must be in During my prostrations I tried to see to whom the right place. I was making my bows. The head of the figure on the altar was hidden behind a curtain that ran In Japan, Zen monks have to wait in the garden across the top of the altar, so all I could see was for two or three days, before they are admitted the bottom half of the figure that was standing

12 ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 SCENES OF BUKKOKUJI. Top: To Tangen Roshi’s right are Bodhin Kjolhede and Dharman Stortz. Bottom row: Takuhatsu featured prominently at Bukkokuji. In the bottom left photo, Dharman Stortz is in the first row on the right, and in the bottom right he is second from the left. there. The Roshi must have noticed my trying to a chemistry professor, to be unable to answer a peek under the curtain, as I was doing my pros- chemistry question correctly, would be the worst trations, because, when I was done, he lifted the kind of humiliation for me. After nine years of large figure off the altar. He cradled it in his arms, Zen practice, four years of them spent working with the same affection that one might cradle on , I had not even realized that the Roshi one’s own child. Tangen Roshi then said his first was asking me a Zen question. I should have been words to me “Kannon-sama.” humiliated. But I wasn’t. After returning Kannon-sama to the altar, the I can only explain my lack of reaction to my Roshi signaled me to sit down on a cushion that mistake by saying that I somehow felt the Roshi he pushed across the tatami floor toward me. As I was not judging me; he was just seeing me exactly sat watching, he poured a cup of tea for me. Only as I was. This allowed me to see my failure to grasp then did he say first sentence to me, “How did the question that the Roshi was actually asking you come here?” me as exactly what it was—my failure to grasp I was so happy to hear that Tangen Roshi spoke the question that the Roshi really was asking me— some English that it did not occur to me that he without my adding a judgment to it. might be asking me a “Zen question.” Without thinking, I blurted out, “Taxi.” The Roshi looked at I experienced the same type of wholly unchar- me disapprovingly. I thought he disapproved, be- acteristic lack of my judging myself a few hours cause the temple was quite near the train station. later. The Roshi had asked me if I wanted join the Therefore, I said, “I did not know the way from sesshin; and when I said, “Yes,” he took me to the the station to here; so I took a taxi.” He nodded zendo and showed me where to sit. After several and said, “I show you, so tomorrow you can walk rounds of zazen there was afternoon chanting; to station.” but when I returned to the zendo for more zazen Despite the fact that there was a sesshin in after chanting, I was the only person there. Where progress at Bukkokuji, the Roshi acted as though had everyone else gone? he had all the time in the world to walk me to I figured that sooner or later the other sesshin the train station, so that I could get on the train participants would return to the zendo, so I sat back to Kyoto next day. When, on our walk, we down and started doing zazen again. However, a came to a large road, he paused and said, “Look few minutes later the Roshi entered the zendo, right, look left, look right, then cross.” He ac- rubbed his hands together to get my attention, companied each of his words with the appro- and then escorted me to the dining hall. He said priate turn of his head—right, left, right, then nothing to me, but when we arrived at the dining straight ahead. hall all of the other sesshin participants were On the way back to the temple we encountered seated at tables, waiting for me, so that they could a young woman pushing a baby carriage. She and begin to eat their evening meal. Tangen Roshi greeted each other; and, although How embarrassing! Normally, I would have I could not understand a word they said to each prayed for the earth to open and swallow me up. other, the mutual affection in their greeting was However, miraculously, I did not feel humiliated. I palpable. “Wow,” I thought. “The Roshi is such a had not known that everyone was going to dinner, sweet man! Is this the same fierce monk who had so I had returned to the zendo. Those were the stood behind Philip Kapleau all night, hitting him facts, and there really was nothing more that was with the kyosaku, in order to help him come to necessary to add. Not only did I not hate myself awakening? for my terrible faux pas, I did not even think about I was totally unprepared when, a few minutes it again. I just sat down to eat dinner. after we met the young woman with the baby I can only attribute my totally uncharacteristic carriage, the Roshi turned to and said in a con- lack of embarrassment for my mistake to the fact WES BORDEN’s application versational tone, “What time is it where you live?” that I somehow felt that the Roshi had again ac- for membership in the Roch- I looked at my watch and tried frantically to re- cepted what had happened, without judging me. ester Zen Center was initially member whether to add or subtract eight hours Therefore, there was no reason for me to judge rejected by Kapleau Roshi, who to convert the time in Japan to the time in Seattle. myself. called Wes “a spiritual butterfly.” The Roshi kept walking, and I quickly realized that In writing about this incident 39 years later I He has spent the past 49 years trying to prove that Kapleau I had not answered the question that the Roshi can still recall an incredible feeling of freedom, Roshi’s original assessment was was actually asking. freedom from the usual cascade of thoughts wrong. My reaction to my mistake surprised me. As about what had happened, freedom from my

14 ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 own rationalizations of it, and freedom from a way that I still find hard to explain, because it the usual stream of negative self-judgments. In writing had nothing to do with what I usually call “me.” What a gift! He cared for me in the same way that I care for 39 years later, my granddaughters, not for what they say or do Tangen Roshi was very good at providing me or how they behave, but just because they are my with such moments of freedom, because I made I can still granddaughters. many mistakes at Bukkokuji. For example, two Tangen Roshi went out of his way to take care years later I visited Bukkokuji with Ken Kraft, recall an of me. That was apparent when he showed me with whom I had begun doing zazen in the attic where I was to sleep on my first night at Bukkoku- of a Harvard undergraduate dorm in 1970. From incredible ji. To my surprise, he laid out my futon for me. Bukkokuji Ken and I visited the grave of Harada In other words, while I watched, Tangen Roshi Sogaku Roshi, who was not only Tangen Roshi’s feeling made my bed for me. Then he looked carefully at teacher but also his adoptive father. We also vis- me, saw my long legs, and added an extra cushion ited the little house where Harada Roshi had lived of freedom and an extra quilt at the foot of my futon saying and which he had given to Tangen Roshi. only, “Keep feet warm.” When we returned to Bukkokuji, Tangen from the Such simple gestures of caring, combined with Roshi was waiting for us. He immediately said, his apparently not caring about my many mis- “What did Harada Roshi say to you?” My mind usual cascade takes, led me quickly to grow to love Tangen Roshi. froze. It was filled with thoughts about the fact When my eight year-old daughter, Alice, was in that Harada Roshi was not only Tangen Roshi’s of thoughts Japan with me in the summer of 1983, I took her teacher but also his adoptive father. Never hav- to meet Tangen Roshi because I wanted her to ing met Harada Roshi, how could I respond to about what experience what a wonderful man he was. Tangen Roshi’s question, without sounding By the summer of 1983, I had taken a first-year presumptuous and without possibly offending had happened. Japanese course at the University of Washington, Tangen Roshi? so I was able to explain to Tangen Roshi, over the With all of these thoughts filling my head, the What a gift! phone, half in Japanese, half in English, that I best I could do was to answer Tangen Roshi’s ques- wanted my daughter to meet him. I suggested tion with the lame reply, “Harada Roshi said, ‘Wel- that my taking Alice swimming at Obama would come!’ ” Rather skeptically, Tangen Roshi queried be a good pretext under which I could bring her “Harada said, ‘Welcome’?” “Yes, he said, ‘Welcome!’ to Bukkokuji to meet him, and he agreed. Didn’t he, Ken?” I replied, turning to Ken Kraft. Ken was gracious and shared the blame for my When Alice and I arrived at Bukkokuji, Tangen lame response. He agreed that Harada Roshi had Roshi had prepared a picnic for us to take to the said, “Welcome!” beach. I particularly remember that he had gone However, when Ken and I were alone again, to the trouble of buying little cans of tomato juice, Ken said, “I thought Harada Roshi said, ‘Nothing for Alice and me to drink with our lunch. “What but MU!’ ” “Why didn’t you give that response?” I a considerate man!” I thought. asked. Ken replied, “I thought that you had more Alice and I changed into our swim suits at the experience working on koans than I, so I thought temple; and then Tangen Roshi and one of his that your answer would be better than mine.” Ken monks drove us to the beach. After our swim and was too polite to add, “But I was certainly wrong picnic, they picked us up and drove us back to in that assumption!” Bukkokuji. When Alice and I had changed back Not only had Tangen Roshi witnessed my really into our travelling clothes, Tangen Roshi walked lame answer to his question, but my friend and us to the stop for the bus to Kyoto. fellow Zen student, Ken Kraft, had heard it too. While we were waiting for the bus, Tangen Once again, to my complete surprise, I did not Roshi asked Alice, “Coca-Cola?” “Yes!” she replied think about the matter again. enthusiastically. Then he turned to me and said, “Coca-Cola?” Normally, I would have said, “No I seemed fated to make mistake after mistake thanks, I don’t drink Coca-Cola”; but, instead, I around Tangen Roshi. However, despite the many found myself replying, “Yes,” with the same de- mistakes that I made around him, which he cer- gree of enthusiasm as Alice. tainly witnessed, I did not feel that he judged me, As Alice and I stood drinking our Cokes and at least not in the same way that I usually judge the three of us waited for the bus, my precocious myself. I sensed that, in fact, he cared for me in daughter decided to engage Tangen Roshi in a Zen

ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 15 mondo. She asked the questions and the Roshi There have been many subsequent occasions provided the responses. To me, when I have gratefully recalled not only Tangen Alice began, “Is ‘zazen’ a Japanese word?” “Yes!” Roshi’s words but also the sound of his deep Tangen Roshi replied, “Zazen is a Japanese word!” the most voice saying, “Wide Mind. Wide Mind. Only I can still hear the Roshi saying that “Yes.” He did Wide Mind!” The echo of his words reminds me not raise his voice, but he put all of himself into remarkable that my own Wide Mind is not different from his. his “Yes!” One of my last visits to Bukkokuji was made to Alice continued questioning the Roshi, “Is thing about attend a week-long sesshin, which Bodhin Roshi gassho a Japanese word?” “Yes!” Tangen Roshi also attended. After the sesshin, we both had a replied, “gassho is a Japanese word!” Tangen Roshi conversation with Tangen Roshi. Tangen Roshi Finally, Alice asked, “Is a Japanese was speaking about the transmission of the Dhar- word?” was the fact ma, and he said in his deeply resonant voice, “One “No,” Tangen Roshi replied. “Prostration is not straight line.” Then, for emphasis, he raised his a Japanese word. But, if you make a prostration that, in right arm, pointed directly in front of him, and in front of Buddha, with nothing in your mind, reiterated, “One straight line.” then you are Buddha himself.” many ways, Something about the way he said that moved Alice gave Tangen Roshi a look that was both me profoundly and I began to cry uncontrollably, amazed and quizzical. I wish I had asked her what he was so sobbing as I had not done since I was a child. I she thought at that moment. I do know for sure struck the tatami mat in front of me with my that, had I said to Alice, “If you make a prostration unremarkable. palm and said, “I am so sorry, Roshi.” He shook in front of Buddha, with nothing in your mind, his head and said, “Me too,” and, when I looked at you are Buddha himself,” Alice would have replied him through my tears, I saw that tears were also scornfully, “Daddy, puh-lease!” coursing down his cheeks. Whenever I heard Tangen Roshi speak, he put himself fully into what he was saying. Tangen Ro- I hope that the above stories about my expe- shi had a deep, resonant voice; and I felt that his riences with Tangen Roshi will provide a much words were not just words, but the embodiment more vivid picture of this remarkable man than of his deep mind. Consequently, I found myself any abstract statements that I could possibly deeply affected by what he said. make about him. Nevertheless, I cannot resist the temptation to point out that, to me, the I once visited Tangen Roshi’s temple during most remarkable thing about Tangen Roshi was a very stressful period of my life. My marriage the fact that, in many ways, he was so unre- was falling apart, and my (now ex-) wife had a markable. If there was a “stink of zazen” about male friend who seemed to be replacing me in him, I certainly did not smell it. If he felt at all her affections. To say that I was jealous does not self-important, it was not evident to me. If he begin to capture the intensity of the thoughts and had any sense of himself as a separate self, I did emotions that kept washing over me. not see it. A few days after my arrival at the temple, the The ultimate goal of Zen practice is supposed Roshi gave an encouragement talk in the zendo. to be exemplified by the tenth of the Ox-Herding As always, his resonant voice seemed to emanate Pictures, “Returning to the Market Place with from the depths of his being. Most of his talks Helping Hands.” Hotei, as the subject of this pic- were in Japanese, but he occasionally injected a ture is sometimes called, is depicted as carrying few words of English. In the middle of this talk he a large cloth sack, from which he gleefully dis- broke into English and said, “Wide Mind. Wide penses sweets to children. He does not ask if the Mind. Only Wide Mind!” children have been good or bad; everyone gets a At these words, I realized that in my own Wide sweet. Hotei’s being is his teaching. Mind there was not a single jealous thought, Harada Tangen Roshi did not have a sack full of and that my feelings of jealousy came from my sweets over his shoulder, nor did he have a large narrow, self-centered perspective. My wife was belly like Hotei. However, Tangen Roshi smiled obviously seeking what she felt she needed, and when he bought my daughter Alice and me each if what she needed was no longer me, that was a Coke. Then, still smiling, he gave us another fundamentally OK. I felt suddenly liberated from gift. He said, “If you make a prostration in front the dark place in which I had been holding myself of Buddha with nothing in your mind, then you prisoner for months. are Buddha himself.”—wes borden

16 ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 BUKKOKUJI LIES JUST DOWN THE HILL from Hosshinji where the late Harada Roshi trained both Kapleau-san and Tangen-san. Top left: Tangen Roshi makes an offering to Harada Roshi’s grave during the monthly ceremony held on his death date (photo by Chris Pulleyn). Top right: Amala Sensei and Richard Von Sturmer of the Auckland Zen Center visit Tangen Roshi in 2001, shortly after 9/11. Bottom right: two Dharma brothers, reunited in 1970 (pho- to by Pat Simons). Bottom center: Tangen Roshi in front of a photo of Harada Roshi. Bottom right: the gate to Bukkokuji (photo by Pat Simons). Top right: Getting ready for takuhatsu, one of the roshi’s favorite activities. Bottom left: Offerings to a dear departed kitty (photo by Chris Pulleyn). Bottom right: Shirley Helvey becomes Somyo. I received monastic was insensitive, then it was clear that I had been ordination at the Rochester Zen Center in January, sitting full lotus. 1973 and in June of that year Roshi Kapleau gra- He asked many questions about whether there ciously arranged for me to go to Japan on a three- were circumstances under which I would drink month pilgrimage. There I spent time with a Rinzai alcohol—and even hauled out a big bottle of sake monk and visited the temples of Kyoto, but the that contained a dead snake, which he said was highlight was the 2½ months I spent with Harada some sort of medicine. I was confused by the in- Tangen Roshi at Bukokuji, his temple in Obama. tensity of this questioning until I tripped over For most of the time the temple’s residents crates of empty beer bottles in the cushion stor- were the roshi, two 12-year-old boys, a young lay- age room at another training temple. man from Kyoto, and me. Under these circum- Bukokuji had an in-house (not an outhouse) stances the training schedule wasn’t particularly at the time: a hole in the wooden floor of a small rigorous, but it afforded the opportunity to spend room where “night soil” dropped into a holding virtually the entire day with the roshi. tank. Once I found a large centipede there and The most striking things about Tangen Roshi went to get to piece of paper to scoop it up. Roshi were his deep warmth, his generosity, and his asked what I was doing and when I explained he sense of humor. Once, walking from the zendo got a thick stick, went to the bathroom, pushed to the main hall after an evening sitting, the me out of the way, chanted and then came down Roshi came up behind me, put both hands on with all his might. Later he explained that the my shoulders and said, “Yoshi!” (Good!). It was a insect was so poisonous that if a child or older spontaneous gesture—more American than Jap- person had been bitten it could be fatal. anese—but its spontaneous warmth and goodwill A final anecdote: When we visited his teacher, remains vivid to this day. Harada Roshi’s, monastery, Tangen Roshi pre- The roshi was also unstintingly generous: He sented me with Harada Roshi’s autobiography. literally fed and clothed me, spent hours an- The book was in Japanese and the Roshi wrote swering questions, took me on takuhatsu and an inscription. When I asked what he’d written arranged for me to spend a night at Eiheiji. he said, “To my Dharma elder brother.” But Roshi, And he tested me: When I told him I sat full I protested, you are the Dharma elder brother. JONATHAN SHELDON lotus he had us sit ankle-to-ankle, pressing as “Yes,” he replied, “but while I’m your elder brother practiced Zen in Rochester, then hard as we could against each other, to see if the now, someday your understanding will surpass moved to Colorado where he pressure was painful. If the area above the ankle mine.”—Jonathan Sheldon practices medicine and Zen.

A few months after arriving training period). I should be measured for my robes, at Bukkokuji, during dokusan, I told Roshi-sama and I would be ordained when they arrived. that eventually I wanted to be ordained. He replied, My robes arrived during the October sesshin. I “When the time is right, I will do it.” Sometime was told my ordination would be on October 12th. after that, during tea break, I was speaking with The 12th of each month is considered a special day some of the other women staying at the temple. I at the Temple. It is the day we honor Roshi-sama’s mentioned my desire to be ordained. They immedi- teacher, Harada Sogaku Roshi, with a service at ately informed me that I was at the wrong temple: the little house, across from Hosshinji, where he Roshi-sama does not ordain women. But I did not resided. After that service, my head was shaved give up hope. He had said he would and I trusted he except for a small lock for the Roshi-sama to shave would. As time went by, during dokusan I would during the ceremony. again mention my wish to be ordained. On one At the beginning of the ceremony my robes such occasion, he answered “When my teacher were presented to me, and Roshi’s attendant [deceased] and the Buddha tell me it is time, I will helped me get into them correctly. When all the do it.” As I left the room, I thought: this will take robes were on, Roshi-sama shaved the remaining a long, long time. spot on my head, had me repeat my vows, pre- SHIRLEY (SOMYO) HELVEY In late August, about a year and a half after ar- sented me with my okesa and gave me my name, began her Zen practice on staff riving at the temple, I again brought up the subject Somyo. A day I will never forget. at the Rochester Zen Center, of ordination. This time he said, “It will be soon.” I There was the time shortly after arriving at then moved to Bukkokuji where was so happy thinking that it might happen that Bukkokuji, when passing Roshi-sama in the hall- she became ordained. She and year. In mid-September, as we passed in the court- way, he said something to the monk standing with her two daughters live in the Phoenix area, where she enjoys yard, he said he thought before the October sesshin him. Later the monk told me Roshi-sama had said her Tai Chi and Qi Gong classes. would be a good time for me to be ordained, which that I was “just like Japanese,” which meant I fit She considers herself to be a was also the beginning of the fall ango (intense in with temple culture. I was very pleased. monk for life.

ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 19 Also, our tea ceremonies were always beautiful with him. He replied, “Not important, only prac- and special with Roshi-sama presiding. He gave tice important.” I was glad he felt I didn’t need to wonderful small talks and answered questions. know the language to learn from him. Also, that He also liked to tell everyone my age. I was around I could spend all my energy on my practice, which 75 at the time, and the oldest one at the temple was important to me. other than the roshi himself. Roshi-sama’s teachings, advice, and example Finally, there was the time in dokusan that could not have better. We were all so privileged I mentioned to Roshi-sama that I would like to to be students of this great , Harada learn Japanese better, making it easier to talk Tangen Roshi.—Shirley Helvey (Somyo)

One thing about Roshi- recommended the of Bequeathed Teachings sama is that he really walked the walk and per- and Dogen’s Hatsuganmon, which were extremely sistently encouraged all of us to do the same, important in his teaching. He always emphasized but was not harshly critical when we inevitably the importance of zazen, and when there was failed. He could take you to task in such a power- inclement weather work periods were usually fully compassionate way that you’d be profoundly called off and two rounds of formal zazen were grateful for him taking the time to do so. I’m not inserted in either the morning or afternoon samu a big kyosaku fan, but when he used it, it felt like (work) period, or both. a blessing and benediction due to the compassion The roshi always spoke highly of people who trav- that animated its use (and he had very good aim, eled great distances to practice at the temple. Very which helped a lot too). He also had old-style, long few practitioners were from Obama City. When ball hitter standards which I venerated. To my Roshi was actively teaching we sometimes had huge knowledge, he never gave full sanction to teach sesshins of 50–60 participants, the vast majority of to anyone who came through Bukkokuji, and that them from outside Obama. includes a host of contemporary and soon-to-be He had an incredible devotion to his students teachers. Holding to standards of profound awak- and to the townspeople. Sometimes I feared that ening was his way of being compassionate and I he didn’t get enough rest because he was forever am very grateful for it. meeting with visitors, doing funerals, holding Tangen Roshi was very respectful of all life. dokusan, etc. Illness would often not deter him. He loved animals, and the temple almost always I recall more than once him retching into a hand- had a herd of cats in residence. Occasionally one kerchief while giving a talk and then apologizing would hide under the meal tables and quickly to everyone and resuming the talk as if nothing swipe some of the roshi’s meal. He did full, and I had happened. mean full, funeral services for deceased Bukkokuji Roshi usually accompanied us on takuhatsu kitties. I know because I was his attendant for until he got worn down later in life. During the long one of them. He gave a talk once about finding a ones—we even had two-day affairs—people would baby cockroach in a lunch that he had packed and often line the streets to give him offerings. I was taken with him on temple business, protectively always struck by his reputation amongst people in caring for the little one once he discovered him/ the Bukkokuji “catchment area.” He was a major her, and upon return to Bukkokuji releasing him/ example and inspiration for all of us when he was her and the cockroach bowing in gratitude to him on board for a one-day takuhatsu. The two-day for preserving its life. It was a hit talk on gratitude takuhatsus were begun after he stopped partic- for many of his students. ipating in long one-day ones that we sometimes During my first year in residence, an elderly man referred to humorously as death marches. It would came to the temple to die. Tangen Roshi helped be so wonderful to have him back for just one more. DHARMAN (SHINDO) STORTZ is a Buddhist monk create a kind of perimeter around the altar in the That would be such a treasure! who was a student of Kapleau Buddha hall and the old man stayed within that Tangen Roshi was very compassionate and Roshi for 13 years before perimeter, lovingly cared for by Tangen Roshi, until respectful but firm in dokusan. He often said that embarking on a Buddhist he passed. Then Roshi prepped his body for final when someone entered the kaisando (founder’s pilgrimage to Asia generously services followed by cremation. I was profoundly hall) where dokusan was, that person was, for him, funded by the RZC. There he met Tangen Roshi in 1984 and impressed by his caring attitude, and still am. I’m truth itself entering the room. One of his favorite with Kapleau Roshi’s support not even close to being in his ballpark. expressions: “Truth yourself!” Another favorite became his student and disciple. A few more quick memories: Tangen Roshi of his: “Only doing!”—Dharman Stortz / / /

20 ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 Awaken to the TRUE SELF

When I was 17 years old, I had the good fortune to read teisho by Harada a book called Inshitsu-roku by Professor Enryohan, a noted scholar of the Tangen Roshi Ming Dynasty. This is a book of instruction which the professor compiled for Translated by Belenda Attaway his son, Tenkei. The terminshitsu means to be de- never really been given the opportunity to under- Yamakawa cided without one’s being aware of it. That is to say stand the reason for living. I did not much care for that the fortunes—sunshine and shadow, ups and Buddhist priests. I had the preconceived idea that downs—which befall a person are naturally deter- they wore funny clothes, talked a lot of nonsense, mined, without his knowing it, by his own past ac- and led lives of comfort and ease. But this book tions, virtue, and vice. Upon carefully reading this really addressed itself to that “something” I had book, it became clear to me that there is a path to been searching for since childhood, and it sur- be followed, and I resolved then to follow that path. prised me to realize that the lesson came through According to the book, Professor Enryohan a priest. Although Inshitsu-roku is at heart Confu- first came to believe deeply in karmic retribution cian, not Buddhist, it is a Zen master who clearly through a fortune-teller named Ko. He then met points the way. And, incidentally, the man who with Zen Master Unkoku who impressed upon translated the book, Harada Sogaku Roshi, was to him that karma is only one side of the picture. become, five years later, my Zen teacher. Thus, he writes his son, Tenkei, one can take re- When I was eighteen or nineteen years old, I sponsibility for the construction of his own world. resolved to become like a chair. That was because It is not a matter of living out one’s life wedged a chair doesn’t refuse its services to anybody; it into a predetermined mold, but rather, by virtue just takes care of the sitter and lets him rest his of one’s own efforts, it is possible to move, if even legs. After it has served its purpose no one gets just a step, closer toward one’s aim. up and thanks or offers words of kindness to the From childhood on, as though in search of chair. It will more likely get kicked out of the way. something, I was always a rather rebellious youth. What’s more, the chair doesn’t argue or complain In junior high school, I kept thinking that I had or bear a grudge, but just takes whatever is given.

ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 21 When there is a job to be done, it puts forth all its time I still knew nothing of zazen and such, but energy without picking and choosing according to I was the walls separating me from others had collapsed. its desires. I was thinking, “Wouldn’t it be great My life had become a world somehow without dis- to have such a heart.” experiencing crimination, so I felt as if I could even chat with the I wrote on a big sheet of paper, “Be like a chair,” chirping sparrows. Later, when I began to do zazen, and every day took note of how close I came. If even the reality I could receive the teachings of my master, which a little dissatisfaction arose, I would regard that as I had sought since childhood, with a completely an embarrassing state of mind for a chair. I consid- of being one open and receptive mind. ered how thoroughly I was of use to others. A chair Without theoretical understanding and without doesn’t plop itself down on top of the sitter, right? with and being able to explain what happened, I had tapped The endeavor was not at all forced or unnatural; it into the very joy of life, and I determined from then arose from life itself and was enjoyable, not painful. cared for on to dedicate my life to repaying my gratitude. During the time I was following this practice, I As it was wartime, I felt that the one thing I could went to climb Mount Kinpokula, a rather small by all things do immediately to help was to go first before the mountain. As I climbed that day, I could think of bullet. Propelled by the spirit of helping others, I nothing but my own selfishness. Shedding tears, I of this world, joined the army. I was quite willing from the begin- repeatedly reflected and repented, “I’m no good, I’m ning to die. Like everyone else at the time, I felt it no good,” as I made the 30-minute ascent up the experiencing was only natural to give my life in the war cause. trail. I then began to chant the rules of Professor But although I repeatedly found myself in perilous Shoin Yoshida’s preparatory school. Through chant- the greatness situations, including one year as a prisoner of war, ing, I must have entered into a purer state of mind. I always mysteriously and narrowly escaped. I crossed to the other side of the mountain, of the life From that time on, whether or not my actions which formed a precipice. A valley had been gouged were recognized or appreciated by those around out below, and beyond the valley stretched the Pa- I have been me, the feeling that I had to put all of my efforts cific Ocean. To one side I could see the rolling hills of into what I knew I had to do became stronger and the Izu Peninsula. I was transfixed by the mountain given. stronger. Then, in 1946 I began Zen training as a landscape. The wind blew into me from the valley layman, and in 1949 I was ordained as a priest. floor, and I felt as if I were growing bigger and bigger. In retrospect, we could say that I was experi- What is Buddha? encing the reality of being one with and cared for The single most fundamental point in the Bud- by all things of this world, experiencing the great- dhist is “taking ,” or namu in Japa- ness of the life I have been given. But at the time, nese. This taking refuge in the Three Treasures— I just felt myself becoming bigger and the sensa- Buddha, Dharma, Sangha—forms the foundation tion of being protected by everyone. At that point for all the precepts. To receive the Triple Refuge I couldn’t contain myself anymore, so in a giant is to enter into the world of Buddha. voice I shouted my name seven or eight times into The termnamu and the Chinese term the far-off horizon. kie both express the same spirit, and both terms But I still couldn’t keep still, and suddenly I mean to go back to your true home. To really go dashed off down the mountain path. Flying down back home, in the spirit of kie, one must entrust a mountain trail is risky, but I made it back to Ata- oneself and let go of the body and mind that he mi Station without tumbling into the valley below. has up to now called “me.” If that thing we refer It was as if I shot down in one breath. As nobody to as “me” exists, then namu means to give it all knew my state of mind at the time, if I had tripped up for the sake of truth. So namu and kie are the and fallen down into the valley, everyone probably Sanskrit and Chinese expressions which mean to would have thought I had committed suicide. place one’s full reliance, body and soul, on Buddha. Although I felt at the time that I would often Now, when we chant “Namu kie butsu”—“I take return.to pay my respects to that dear, beloved refuge in Buddha”—what do we mean by “Bud- mountain, I have not been back even once. Since dha”? What is Buddha? This is the question the that time, a bright and changed world unfolded person practicing comes to feel he must answer before me. For one month after the experience, for himself. If we are not clearly aware of the real- everything down to the pebbles along the roadside ity of a Buddha, an awakened being who has thor- brilliantly glistened. It was an intimate, friendly oughly cast off everything to the last, we cannot life. I remember well-being: filled with the knowl- really let go of ourselves. So the question is, who edge of being together, part of the same life. At the or what or in what form is Buddha to be found?

22 ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 First of all, is there anything of truth in this yourself to tea.” Another pointed to “here” when world for which you could let go of everything? If Thus our he commented, “What fine weather today.” such a truth really does exist, I would say that you That which we most deeply yearn for is the could surrender everything for it. Going further, ancestral thing that is already most fully present, already if this truth happens to be just the thing you are the very closest to us. Thus our ancestral teachers, most seeking, then the more willingly you will let teachers, according to their own circumstances at hand, have go of everything for it. Finally, we could say that always shown that Buddha is now, here. So we what we most ardently wish for is to possess ev- according place our focus now, here. While what you seek erything without exception, to have everything as is really now and here, you habitually think of it one’s own. If this truth is just such an all-encom- to their as somewhere out there, outside yourself, so you passing state in itself, then you wouldn’t hesitate search and search in vain. What you are looking to give up everything for it. circumstances for is already wholly and completely yours. There Our desires are not such that we can say, “Oh, is nothing miserly about it; it knows no limits. You just to be right here will be plenty.” Desire being at hand, are the master of this life. When you sincerely take insatiable, we cannot be satisfied until we have it refuge now and here, you will find yourself in what all, to the very last. Some gentle-mannered souls have always is most secure, in that which the heart most ar- may act with reserve and declare that they have dently yearns for: in pure, essential Buddha nature. plenty. But should you ask them, “Is this really shown that enough?” they will likely answer, “Well, if possible, Ichi Tantei Practice just a touch more.” However, if you know that Buddha Perhaps you wonder if we do zazen in pursuit of regardless of what you seek, your every wish will that which we most want. No, we do not. Doing be granted, you will be willing to lay down your is now, here. zazen is Buddha. Doing zazen is already the full ex- whole self. If whatever you seek is yours, isn’t it pression of Buddha nature. We are quickly caught correct to say that there is no loss? So we up in the form of things, readily pulled in by what If a child is asked to name the one thing of others have to say. This is such that if you are told, most value, he will answer that it is “life.” There is place our “Hey, doing zazen is Buddha,” you might readily awareness of life. If there is a life which cannot be respond, “Yes, doing zazen is Buddha, isn’t it?” In lost for all eternity, you would gladly give up ev- focus such case, I would have to say, “No, you are wrong.” erything for it. And then there is material wealth. At a gathering of Pure Land Buddhist adher- If by simply wishing for something, it is provided, now, here. ents in a training center in Kyoto, the head priest why should you hesitate to give up anything? Fi- delivered a sermon in which he said, “Just as it is, nally, if you know that you can be released from just this is salvation. Salvation is just this.” all restraints, to live in perfect freedom, I would A follower responded to this saying, “Just as it say it is all right to give up everything for that. is, this is salvation, isn’t it?” If you believe that these three conditions can The priest answered, “You are mistaken,” and be yours, I believe you will be ready to cast off your continued to expound the Dharma, coming around small self. We can say that that which is called again to say, “All right? Just as it is, this is salvation.” “Buddha” is in itself the perfect embodiment of Another participant repeated his words, “Just life, wealth, and freedom. Eternal life as one’s own, as it is, this is salvation, isn’t it?” complete freedom in everything, possession of all “Wrong.” Everyone was off the track. The priest the truth of this world—if you know this is Bud- continued speaking. “Everyone has listened well. dha, the trusting heart cannot help but well up. All right? Just as it is, this is salvation,” he reiterated. At this, one believer in the audience shouted, Now, Here “Thank you!” and made a deep prostration. When you examine yourself, you will find that The priest nodded broadly in response. “Good,” something is missing. Or even if you feel fulfilled he said, and ended his talk. now, you are worried that this contentment will In sum, if one grasps at this salvation, which is be snatched away. You feel that you just have to just as it is, he is already counter to its truth. Zazen find something more stable. At this time, Bud- is just like this. When one is doing zazen, a thing dha’s existence cannot help but be revealed to you. called “the self” does not put in an appearance at all. Although Buddha-mind is variously revealed It is interesting to observe what a great discrep- through each individual’s own talents and gifts, ancy there is between theoretical understanding Buddha is now, here. But where is “here”? One and truth itself. Take a dumpling, for example. master answered this question by saying, “Help Without actually sampling it, any explanation, re-

ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 23 gardless how thorough, would give only a rough Big Mind, Joyful Mind, Parental Mind idea of the flavor of that dumpling, but never its To maintain Completely enveloped in and succored by the essential taste. Without actually chewing on it, you whole universe, you are like the mountains, like cannot know its actual flavor. Depending on what this spirit the seas, like the great sky which knows no limits. we are eating, our individual way of tasting it may This great, big boundlessness is your own mind, differ, I suppose, but the fact of having really expe- of practice, “Big Mind.” To awaken to this Big Mind, just do rienced the taste is the same with everyone, isn’t it? whatever it is you are doing right this moment The reality of really tasting that dumpling is the student with your whole heart. If you do this with all your about the same regardless of whether you are might, this world will, without fail, reveal itself eating it for the first time or if you are an old hand single-mindedly to you. This hard little lump of “self” will dissolve, at eating dumplings. Zen is just like this. From and you will inevitably awaken to Big Mind. the first time you sit, you can fully experience works in “Joyful Mind” is the mind that cannot help the flavor of Zen. but feel gratitude. It is not that you feel thankful For a thousand people who decide to sit, there his daily life because you are supposed to feel thankful, but are a thousand motives and wide disparity between rather that you cannot help but feel thankful. You depths of aspiration. The main thing, however, is to becomes feel so much gratitude that it spills over as joy. awaken to one’s true self. This true self is supreme And then from that boundless joy, kindness and irreplaceable, and we can call it “Buddha.” this practice, arises, kindness which is born from thoroughly Of course one’s true self is not that which we exhausting all of one’s small self and merging to ordinarily conjure up in our heads and habitual- this research become one with others. This is “Parental Mind.” ly regard as “self.” It is, rather, the genuine Self When Big Mind, Joyful Mind, and Parental which cannot be grasped, seen or spoken of. So into his Mind come together as one body, this in itself is the main thing is just to become aware of this Self. Bodhisattva Mind. We can speak of seasons in the process of com- true identity; And isn’t this, indeed, the very basis of all ed- ing to self-knowledge, and we can say that oppor- ucation of our children? Shakyamuni Buddha tunity ripens. There is the unawakened season, everything and the patriarchs teach the fundamentals of the season when one comes to know of the exis- education in this way. Each child is from the first tence of this reality, the season when one believes becomes the master of Big Mind. If this heart is encouraged in the teachings, the season when one believes to spring forth, the child will naturally become and therefore mindfully keeps one’s awareness zazen. cheerful, and problems will take care of them- constant, and, finally, there is the season in which selves. The child will become a human being who one is awakened. We have the expression, ichi tan- This is truly is sensitive to the pain of others. Sensitivity to tei. NOW. NOW. This isichi tantei. A teacher is one others, joy which flows of itself—these functions who clearly reveals this to the student. “Reality being alive. of life itself are gradually cultivated. is not off someplace else, away from right now No matter how much you study, how many and here. NOW. HERE. Don’t be careless. Don’t be books you read, or how much theory you learn, off guard.” The teacher points out the path, the this kind of knowledge can only be an aid, but direct route, in the way most appropriate to each never the driving force, toward peace of mind. student. With this direction, the student can truly And actually, if one is not careful, theoretical exer- practice the most treasured, straight path. cise can even be an obstacle. The important thing To maintain this spirit of practice, the student is to let go of mind and body and take refuge in single-mindedly works to make the ichi tantei con- truth itself. It is a matter of permitting yourself, stant so that everything in his daily life becomes all you can, to recognize truth, to sincerely live in this practice, this research into his true identity; the now, here which is your life. everything becomes zazen. This is truly being alive. If you see only the differences between your- When one settles into this ichi tantei, regardless self and others, you feel easily irritated, overly of the job he has to do in this world, his efficiency sensitive. If you’re out to take care of just your increases manifold. This is because his practice own little self, guard your own little castle, pro- becomes doing solely whatever he is doing, so that tect your own separate existence in whatever way distractions do not arise. Therefore, in whatever you can, it’ll all eventually just go under anyway, circumstance he may find himself, his efficiency is won’t it? So go back to the starting point, return increased. It is such that he even comes to wonder to your true home, the home which is the same how it is this world is taking such good care of him. for every single being in this world. I want to see Living in truth like this is wonderful! you awaken to your true self. / / /

24 ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 KONG SING YU Summer 2018 Sightings

the point of this? To distract? When I saw the first edition of Hopefully you already know To gin up “excitement”? To the new Zen Bow design I was this, but I’d be happy to help be “new”? To increase sales? A very sad to realize the old es- you and John with the web- long time ago I asked myself thetic was gone: the quality of site end of Zen Bow. There’s in all seriousness—why was the paper, the B/W, and the way so much untapped potential I practicing zazen? To be some- it felt natural. But the thing is, there. Off the top of my head, thing, or to realize the truth? once I opened it up, I read al- one easy way I can help would I knew right away that I didn’t most all of it and I’ve had many be to turn at least some of the want to be “something.” This of the old ones sitting around articles into HTML. Zen Bow seems like it’s trying yet to be opened. Don’t know Anna Belle Leiserson to be “something.” why. But the design worked on Nashville The oldZen Bow was sub- me. Maybe the writing is differ- stantive in the content of its ent as well: more items, shorter Hi there—wanted to let you articles with no need for flash stuff, in some cases, but I think know that while home sick and color, and it was substan- the design made it easier or at today with the flu I read the further remarks tive in the high quality stock least more inviting to read. new Zen Bow cover to cover THE Zen Bow refresh ¶Wow! of its paper. The oldZen Bow Dave Dorsey and loved it! The new format It’s beautifully designed and issues called out to be collect- Rochester is far more accessible to me... laid out, dynamic, and at- ed and saved, if for no other somehow the previous format tractive. Plus, the editing is reason than to “preserve” the Chris, kudos for all the work felt out of reach/too serious impeccable and the articles Dharma in some small physi- that went into creating the and/or resulted in me feeling very interesting and well cal sense. Now we have a “zine” new Zen Bow format. I can’t unworthy... odd, but that’s my written. With the perspective with a flimsy feel presented in even imagine what is on your hit after reading the new one. of someone who spent 20 an unwieldy size. I don’t feel a shoulders pulling it off. After THANK YOU! years in publishing before my need or desire to save it. living with it for a few days Kathy Collina lawyer phase, I am impressed. The “old”’Zen Bow had a (change is not my forte) I have Rochester In addition, it often happens quiet dignity that let you focus come to see a lot of good in it... that something hits me in a on the direct experience and fresh, alive... really accessible The Editor Replies: Thanks personal way. Ahhh... that’s it. personal understanding of the to the next generation. After so much to all of you who have That was the idea coagulating author(s), who remarkably reading through it a few times given us feedback. We knew in my brain! In this case, it’s have always been authentic, this is what I would say not as a that the new design would be the discussion of nen in Roshi’s honest, sincere and unpreten- criticism but as an observation: a bit of a shock with so many brilliant article. I have been tious. The newZen Bow delves 1. It feels a little frenetic things changing at once, and tackling nen for a while, and into speculative and theoretical and I think it should be a little especially given the switch to Roshi helpfully illuminates the discussions by (presumably) “calmer.” I found it hard to fol- color after more than 50 black- topic. I am very grateful. non-practitioners (e.g. “Pan- low the stream of placement. and-white years. With the Amaury Cruz psychism and the Question of 2. You might be trying to do theme of the issue, “Starting Miami Beach Consciousness”). The oldZen too much and might want to Over,” already established, this Bow embodied sitting down think about simplifying a little seemed to be an appropriate When the new Zen Bow quietly, concentrated and doing bit. It has a jumpiness that time for a complete redesign, arrived, I couldn’t help but serious zazen. The newZen Bow I don’t associate with “Zen as symbolized by the synthesis ask, what happened? Looking reflects the busy and chaotic Mind.” of the enso and a “refresh” icon at the new Zen Bow I feel like world that we live in with all its Deborah Zaretsky on the cover. there are flash grenades going attendant distractions. Spokane So why did we do what we off all over the place. Why all It pains me to say it, but I did? TheZen Bow research the Sturm und Drang? What is fear that we have lost some- I love the Zen Bow refresh! study conducted earlier this thing truly valuable. Why fix Gretchen’s art on the cover, year provided some clear More letters to the editor may what wasn’t broken? different size, some bright direction. For example, the be found at www.rzc.org/library/ Peter Greulich, colors, photos from past and 113 members who completed zen-bow/ Wakefield, MA present, etc., etc. the survey said they would be

26 ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 ▷ SIGHTINGS

more likely to read Zen Bow if slips into a state of profound ▶ A Vietnamese Buddha finds a it were less formal and more peace and clarity, enabling him home in a New Zealand zendo. challenging. In terms of con- to calm other passengers, and tent, nearly half (48%) wanted eventually lead many of them insurance man) has been an Zen Bow to include “secular to safety. However, after the inspiration and a source for materials and/or materials crash, Max avoids and resists my talks for about 20 years. from other spiritual practices anyone who tries to help him, De Mello was a Jesuit priest, that are relevant to Zen prac- including first responders, born in Goa in India, and the tice” versus those who wanted psychologists, and his family book is an edited transcription it to focus on Zen practice and friends. From his perspec- of his presentation of what it only (26%) or Zen plus other tive, he has entered a place of means to be awake, given to Buddhist traditions (26%). absolute detachment, needing an audience of Catholic lay These answers, among others, no help, fearless. workers. encouraged us to liven up the His worried family tries Why it’s worthy: De Mello’s overall look of the publication to get him to talk about the words are simple, unaffected, as well as including a variety trauma, including the loss of humorous, and straight to the of shorter items and some his business partner, who died point. His enthusiasm for living secular material. in the crash. The airline tries a life of attention is contagious. Zen Bow will continue to get him to attend a support There’s no end of passages I to evolve. (One change in group with other survivors, could quote, and here’s one: this issue is a less busy, easi- who treat him as a hero. As “Anytime you have a negative er-to-read table of contents the film progresses, he wedges feeling toward anyone, you’re page.) And we hope that read- himself more and more into living in an illusion. There’s ers will continue to let us know his attachment to The Abso- something seriously wrong years the Centre has been what we could be doing better. lute, cutting himself off from with you. You’re not seeing looking for a Buddha figure Zen Bow’s mission is to inspire everyone around him. Even- reality. Something inside of seated in the zazen posture Zen practice…and that means tually, he is driven to inten- you has to change. But what for our zendo. Ven. Sudama it’s meant for your benefit. So tionally eating a strawberry, to do we generally do when we Ngo at the Rochester Zen keep those cards and letters which he is violently allergic, have a negative feeling? `He Center communicated with coming!—Chris Pulleyn allowing his wife to save him is to blame, she is to blame. the sculptors in Vietnam and from dying of anaphylactic She’s got to change.’ No! The arranged for the shipping On Screen shock. The ultimate act of fear- world’s all right. The one who of the Buddha from Ho Chi The movie: Fearless lessness is to engage in one’s has to change is you.”—John Min City to Auckland. Many (1993) Directed by Peter life fully. Pulleyn thanks to everyone who con- Weir, Written by Raphael As is depicted in the tributed towards its purchase. ­Yglesias ¶What it’s about: A 10th Ox-Herding Picture, Zen WORLDWIDE The Buddha now sits in our man has a difficult time re- practice is not about staying in New Buddha for zendo, and will continue to sit turning to his normal life after a rarefied state. As exhilarat- Auckland­ ¶ This March a throughout the day and night ing as deep meditation states new Buddha figure arrived for many years to come.— may be, returning to the mess- at the Auckland Zen Centre Richard Von Sturmer iness of life, of feelings and from Vietnam. For many suffering, with the object of helping others, is the true aim of Zen. No one is exempt from suffering; when he stubbed surviving a plane crash. his toe, even the Buddha said Why it’s worthy: This movie “Ouch.”—LouAnne Jaeger makes much the same point as the 10th Ox-Herding Picture, in print which depicts “Returning The Book: Awareness to the World with Helping by Anthony de Mello Hands.” (1990) ¶What it’s about: This Coming home from a book (first given to me by my business trip, Max’s (the main character’s) plane crash- ▶ Robin Gardner-Gee and Amala es. When the pilot announces Sensei unpack the base of the new the mechanical failure, Max Buddha.

ZEN BOW SUMMER 2018 27 rochester zen center NON-PROFIT 7 arnold park ORGANIZATION rochester, ny 14607 U.S. POSTAGE PAID Address service requested PERMIT NO. 1925 ROCHESTER, NY

▶ JULY ▶ SEPTEMBER 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 �CU �C � �C �C �C � �D BGPC �D ZP SH. DEADLINE 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 �CF �C �DC �C �C �C � � � �DC �C �C � �D BGPC �D ZP SANGHA �D W DINNER ▶ SH. DEADLINE 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 �CS �C �DC �C �C �CD � �C �DC �C �C �C �D BGPC �D ZP W �D BGPC �D ZP SANGHA ◀ DINNER POSTURE WKSP 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 A�CE �C �DC �C �C �CF �C �DC �C �C �CD �D BGPC �D W �D BGPC �D ZP YOUTH ▶ OVERNIGHT 29 30 31 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 � � A�CE �C �DC �C �C � B S �D BGPC �D W▶

30 ▶ AUGUST � 1 2 3 4 � � � � � Z ◀ W ▶ JULY 4 ▶ AUGUST 11 ▶ SEPTEMBER 6 center closed introductory Application Deadline 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 workshop (Arnold Park) for October seven-day ▶ JULY 5 �C �DC �C �C I sesshin �D BGPC �D ZP Application Deadline ▶ AUGUST 12 for July/August seven- youth sunday & ▶ SEPTEMBER 7–9 day sesshin sangha meeting, 10:30 two-day sesshin with am (Arnold Park) Eryl Kubicka (Chapin 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 ▶ JULY 14 �CEU �C �DC �C �C ANNUAL ▶ Mill) PICNIC sangha dinner 5–7 pm AUGUST 18 S �D BGPC �D ZP Cooking begins 5 pm, Annual picnic Fun and ▶ AUGUST 15 eating 6:15 (Arnold Park) food for all (Chapin Mill) sangha dinner 5–7 pm Cooking begins 5 pm, 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 ▶ JULY 15 ▶ AUGUST 19 A�CE �C � � � � sangha meeting, 10:30 All-day sitting, 6:15 am eating 6:15 (Arnold Park) FOUNDER’S �D BGPC am (Arnold Park) –3 pm (Arnold Park) ▶ AUGUST 22 DAY Youth overnight ▶ JULY 20 ▶ AUGUST 19 26 27 28 29 30 31 posture workshop Founder’s day with Saturday 6 pm–Sunday � � � � � � with Esther Gokhale 8–9 teisho by Roshi Kapleau 2 pm Pre-registration pm in the Community (Arnold Park) strongly urged (Chapin Mill) SH. DEADLINE Room (Arnold Park) ▶ AUGUST 22– ▶ SEPTEMBER 23 ▶ JULY 22 SEPTEMBER 4 All-day sitting, 6:15 am center closed All-day sitting, 6:15 am Schedule subject to change. For the latest updates, please see www.rzc.org/calendar/ –3 pm (Arnold Park) –3 pm (Arnold Park) ▶ AUGUST 30 ▶ SEPTEMBER 29– M A.M. EVENT A ALL-DAY SITTING F E TEISHO ▶ JULY 28–AUGUST 4 Application Deadline OCTOBER 6 M P.M. EVENT B BEGINNERS NIGHT G GROUP INSTRUCTION � TERM INTENSIVE Seven-day Sesshin with for September two-day Roshi (Chapin Mill) sesshin Seven-day Sesshin with M ALL-DAY EVENT C CHANTING SERVICE P PRIVATE INSTRUCT. I WORKSHOP Amala-sensei (Chapin M SESSHIN D DOKUSAN S SANGHA MEETING U YOUTH SUNDAY Mill) � CENTER CLOSED W SESSHIN � FORMAL SITTING