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LOVE AND LIBERATION SECOND-WAVE FEMINISMS AND THE PROBLEM OF ROMANTIC LOVE Robin Kay-Marie Payne A dissertation submitted to the faculty of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in the Department of History. Chapel Hill 2010 Approved by: Jacquelyn Dowd Hall (Advisor) John F. Kasson Peter Filene Joanne Hershfield Jennifer Scanlon © 2010 Robin Kay-Marie Payne ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ii ABSTRACT ROBIN K. PAYNE: Love and Liberation: Second-Wave Feminisms and the Problem of Romantic Love (Under the direction of Jacquelyn Dowd Hall) “Love and Liberation” examines second-wave feminist responses to the problem of romantic love as an integral component of their search for gender equality. Second-wave feminists fought for political, economic, and social parity; theorized about the creation of gender roles that bolstered patriarchy; pushed for reproductive and sexual freedom; and expanded the realm of possibilities for women. They also argued that the personal was political and searched for the roots of women’s oppression in their personal lives. Politicizing the personal prompted second-wave feminists to consider how matters like sexuality, marriage, and romantic love helped to create and reinforce oppressive gender hierarchies. Turning a critical eye towards such issues, most second-wave feminists saw romantic love as a socially constructed ideal (rather than a universal emotion) that evolved according to contemporary values. Within post-World War II American society and culture, they believed that ideals of romantic love pressured women to seek fulfillment and identity within heterosexual romantic relationships. Romantic love thus rewarded and appeased women for their economic, social, and emotional dependence upon men. But how could second-wave feminists reform ideals of romantic love? To answer that question, I focus on the intellectual, cultural, and personal efforts of second-wave iii feminists to address the problem of romantic love. Because matters of romantic intimacy were so intensely personal, feminists were often bitterly divided over how to understand romantic love and its impact on women’s lives. They also experienced inner turmoil when reconciling their expectations of love with their feminist ideals of reciprocity and equality. They voiced their concerns in myriad intellectual and cultural forums, including theoretical and philosophical tracts, feminist manifestos and pamphlets, popular novels and magazines, professional and private correspondence, and personal diaries and journals. Trying to match theory with practice, many feminists experimented with alternatives to prevailing ideals of heterosexual romantic love, ranging from celibacy, to same-sex unions, to more egalitarian relationships with men. A small, vocal minority of feminists vehemently argued that romantic love would cease to exist in an egalitarian society, but most second–wave feminists were committed to creating new ideals of romantic love based in authenticity and equality. iv ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS One of the most satisfying aspects of reaching a milestone is having the opportunity to thank the many people who helped you to reach it. This dissertation has been many years in the making, and with its completion I am entirely indebted to the mentors, colleagues, friends, and family who provided consistent support and encouragement along the way. My path to the history department at University of North Carolina began at Washington State University, where my undergraduate advisor, Janice Rutherford, gave me the confidence as well as the research and writing know-how to make it in graduate school. When I became a Master’s student at WSU, my mentor and advisor, LeRoy Ashby, consistently offered insightful advice, constructive feedback, and guidance, all the while modeling a teaching and research ethic I can only hope to emulate. In more recent years, I have been thankful for his supportive friendship and always look forward to visiting with him and his wife, Mary, when I’m home in the Pacific Northwest. While completing my graduate studies at UNC, I have been blessed with an especially helpful and knowledgeable dissertation committee, to whom I am eternally grateful. Joanne Hershfield’s ability to accessibly teach complex theories of feminism and cultural studies provided a strong foundation for my own research interests. In the early stages of the project, Jan Radway provided crucial feedback and suggestions regarding the intertwined aspects of feminism and romance culture. Jennifer Scanlon’s v commentary on my OAH paper in 2008 evolved into a lengthier correspondence, and I am eternally grateful for her many keen insights on the project since then. Peter Filene has offered constant encouragement and scholarly advice over the last few years, and his friendly demeanor has invariably lifted my spirits even during the most stressful times. John Kasson has given me invaluable feedback on this project every step of the way, and I’ve enjoyed many invigorating conversations with him that pointed me in new directions. Lastly, but most certainly not least, I am forever thankful to Jacquelyn Dowd Hall, my advisor and mentor. Jacquelyn took me in with open arms when I found myself re-evaluating myself as a scholar four years ago. Since then, her constant support, insightful and constructive feedback, and vigilant guidance have helped me to find my voice as an historian. I can truly say that were it not for Jacquelyn, I never would have finished this dissertation. The development of this dissertation was also made possibly by crucial financial support from UNC. As an Aesthetics in Society—Scholars for Tomorrow Fellow in the UNC Graduate School in 2004/2005, I learned the value of interdisciplinary collaboration from my colleagues. With the aid of an Off-Campus Research Fellowship from the UNC Graduate School, as well as summer research fellowships and the Mowry Dissertation Fellowship from the UNC History Department, I was able to complete my archival research in three different states. Additionally, a generous fellowship from the Margaret Storrs Grierson Scholars- in-Residence program allowed me to delve deeply into the archival collections in the Sophia Smith Collection at Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts. The archivists and staff at the Sophia Smith Collection, especially Amy Hague, offered valuable advice vi about the collections, helpful suggestions about my findings, and a pleasant atmosphere for the six weeks I spent there. I am also grateful for the very helpful archivists who helped me navigate the collections at their respective institutions at the Schlesinger Library at the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study at Harvard University, the Special Collections Department at the Alderman Memorial Library at University of Virginia, and the Sallie Bingham Center for Women’s History and Culture in the Rare Book, Manuscript, and Special Collection Library at Duke University. Within these repositories, I came face-to-face with many of the feminists who inspired this project and whose strength, intelligence, and perseverance I greatly admire. Finally, when reflecting on my research trips, I would be remiss if I did not also thank John and Carol Premack for welcoming me into their home and providing me with a warm bed, good food, and friendly company during my two research trips to Massachusetts. There are also a number of colleagues and friends who provided indispensable feedback and sustenance along the way. Seth Kotch and Marko Dumančić, early members of my writing group, provided critical (and merciful) responses to some of my earliest and roughest drafts. Meanwhile, Philip McLawhorn offered crucial suggestions and thoughtful discussions about philosophies of love. Over the last year, I have been especially grateful for vigorous conversations with my writing partners, Josh Davis and Kelly Morrow, whose friendships I also value very much. Chats over coffee with Josh about 1970s culture and life in general always offered welcome respite. With Kelly, I’ve weathered the trials and tribulations of graduate school and life since day one, while bonding over everything from soap operas to feminist ideology. Sharing laughter, ideas, conversation, and friendship with Amy Canfield, Mel Deaile, Rosalie Genova, Pam Lach, vii Tim Williams, Maren Wood, and Amanda Van Lanen at various stages in this journey have helped me keep things in perspective and given me many wonderful memories. I am also deeply beholden to Hilary Elmendorf, one of my oldest and dearest friends, for understanding me and helping to keep me grounded during my most neurotic fits; and, to Laura Premack, for inspiring conversations, unwavering friendship, and unconditional support, which have meant more to me than I could ever adequately express in words. Throughout it all, my family has been a steady source of comfort and strength. Thanks and deep gratitude are due to my “research assistants”—Bolero McLawhorn and Dewie Payne—for keeping me company and making me smile while I wrote; Kay, Randy, Joe, Jason, and Philip for welcoming me into their family with open arms; Judy, Randy, and Jessica, for years of happy memories; my grandmother, Kay Randklev, for her consistent faith in me; my future sister-in-law, Jennifer, for making my brother so happy; and, my brother and friend, Jason, for always being there for me with ready encouragement and shared laughter (I said). My parents, Robert and Vicki Payne, are especially deserving of my appreciation. Though my Dad was not able to see me reach this goal, his memory has kept me motivated and the values he instilled in me have made me always strive to do my best. And, my Mom—thank you for raising me to chase my dreams, always believing in me, keeping my spirits high, and being my closest confidante. I could not have done this without you. And, finally, Mark McLawhorn. For the past three years, you have kept me grounded while inspiring me to reach for the stars. Because of you, I know that it is possible to have both love and liberation.
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