From the The Gift of Editor’s Note: The DIALog December issue focuses on gift giving and receiving. It is the type of gift Director: you don’t put under the tree or give during Rosh Hashanah. It is the Gift of Sobriety. DIALog reporters each wrote what that gift means to them. I believe you will agree all were written from the heart. All Gift of Sobriety stories are continued on pages 4 and 5.We then had AAers from various Dallas groups give their tips for staying sober during the holidays. Others told of their first sober holidays. We hope you enjoy this issue. It was created with love from us to you. Happy Holidays!

By the Grace of God I Didn’t Earn It I’m Sober by Rosanne P. by Pat Mc ‘Tis the season when most I came into the program of us — alcoholics and when I was 28 years old, non-alcoholics alike — before mothers got mad. thank and give. Drinking hijacked me and sent me to As humans and citizens strange places, with strange people doing we have set aside a specific day to say strange things. My black-out drinking, “Thank You” to whatever Higher Power which is all I ever did, caused me to we have, and a specific day to give and “come to” in jails, car wrecks, and of receive gifts (whether this was the origi- course, with people I didn’t know and in nal intent of the day or not).

Sobriety Brings Blessings I Became Alive in Sobriety by Susan P. by Traci A. As we approach the holiday season, My thinking is completely different many groups in AA discuss feelings of than it ever was before. That is one of gratitude acquired by being sober. the greatest gifts of sobriety to date, but My gratitude is highlighted by the not the whole gift of sobriety. many blessings bestowed upon me by To be able to see around myself and being an active member of Alcoholics not see only myself is incredible. Anonymous, and the belief in a Power Awakening to a world around me Greater than myself. The blessings are a result of the It Is the Best Gift Ever divine intervention that gave me a by Cherry K. moment of clarity, allowing me to accept the help being offered. It was then that I If someone would have told me 10 began the journey called sobriety. I of- or so years ago that I’d someday be ten think of the people who don’t have sober and happier than I’ve ever this wonderful gift of living a life of re- been in my entire life, I probably covery. would have laughed in their face or At this time of year, we celebrate the said something really hurtful. There is 2 I Went to a Christmas Office Party Newly Sober by Angie P., Richardson I’m a shy person to ride the wave I didn’t even have a month sober when and have trouble sober. So I called my I had to attend a company Christmas with small talk. He sponsor. She party in 2006. helped me there, too. prayed with me. I was especially nervous about going My coworkers could- She reminded to the party since I had been trying to get n’t believe how re- me that the Free- sober since 2003. I didn’t want to mess laxed and outgoing I dom group was up and lose the days I had already ac- was that night. Some having a New quired. even mistook my Year’s Eve party So I asked another sober alcoholic “comfortableness” as featuring a DJ, from my home group, which was Free- being drunk, and jokingly told my sober dancing, food, fellowship and lots of dom at the time, to go with me. companion that he should drive as I ob- fun. She told me to get there at 9 p.m. I We arrived early, and scoped out the viously had had too much to drink. stayed until 1 a.m. place. We located the sodas, ice, water We left the party just as people began The next morning I awoke sober to and food. I was told to keep a safe dis- to get drunk. I made it through without the news that my dad had successfully tance from the bar, which I gladly did. drinking thanks to my sober companion undergone surgery. Every time my glass of soda became who was truly my guardian angel that I made it through my first holidays empty, my sober companion would leave night. sober thanks to my home group. They my side to fill up my glass. I still had New Year’s Eve to get through and I didn’t know at the time knew I could complicate things  I had just how much AA and my home group been trying to get sober for three years Celebrating 65 Years of Service would protect and keep me safe and so-  so they kept me close and they kept Dallas AA Central Office ber. me safe. Dallas Intergroup Association My dad had fallen putting up a Christ- There were a lot of miracles my first 6162 E. Mockingbird Ln, Suite 213 mas tree but seemed fine following the year of sobriety. I learned how to attend Dallas, TX 75214 incident. I received a phone call on New Christmas parties and how to deal with 214-887-6699 office Year’s Eve 2006 that my father required crises sober. I learned how to use the 214-887-0443 fax emergency brain surgery. www.aadallas.org tools of the program that keep me safe, I became scared, really scared. My protected and sober regardless of where Director fears swelled up in me like a tidal wave. Janis R. The only solution I ever had was to self- I am if I have a good reason for being [email protected] medicate, and I was determined this time there, or what is happening in my life. Assistant Director Steve I. [email protected] Board of Trustees Put the Plug in the Jug Larry J., Chair/Corrections by John S., Belmont Christy D., Treasurer/Speaker-12th Step Brandy B., Nightwatch My tip for getting through the holidays sober is don’t drink. I Dave C., Special Needs know it sounds easy and it’s not, but it is doable because I did it. Janis R., DIA Director I had to attend a company and several friends’ Christmas parties during my first Joe P., Treatment sober holiday. I’m not saying I white-knuckled it but whatever side of the room the Pat Mc, Newsletter bar was on, I stood at the opposite. Peggy W., Special Events Any time I became tempted, I would rub my three-month chip that was in my Ralph S., PI-CPC pocket and recite the Serenity Prayer over and over again until I wore them both out. Newsletter Committee New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day I spent at my home group. Cherry K., Reporter Kate B., Print I was sober a year when my dad died. He was my best friend and he was my drink- Pat Mc, Chair/Editor ing buddy. When I quit drinking, he quit, too. He used his religion and I used AA. Rosanne P., Copy Editor/Reporter He went into the hospital the night I received my one-year chip. He died a few Susan P., Reporter months later in July 2009. He was an inspiration to me, and I miss him. Traci A., Reporter I stayed sober throughout by putting the plug in the jug and keeping it there. 3 Tips for Staying Sober During the Holidays by Louis G., Freedom by Connie N., Town North I’ve been sober 21 years and I find it’s Halloween was my first holiday after always convenient to be a designated my last drink in July 2008. driver especially if you want to stay I was grateful that my home group, anonymous. But most importantly, I take Town North, held a Halloween party to heart what my sponsor tells me, which where I could safely spend time with is “If you take God with you, then you other recovering alcoholics. can go anywhere.” By Thanksgiving and Christmas, I had My sponsor also reminds me that I developed friendships at Town North should have a valid reason for going and enjoyed being with others in recov- where is being served. ery at my home group’s holiday lunches. Even though I may have social obliga- by Rosanne P., DIALog Reporter When I went to holiday gatherings tions during the holidays, that doesn’t such as my office Christmas party where mean I have to stay till the end or when One acronym for slip is “sobriety los- alcohol would be served and people people start getting drunk. ing its priority.” would drink, I made sure I had a glass of Watching people who are drunk is We might be more prone to a slip dur- soda in my hand and plenty to eat in- like watching a bad movie ten thousand ing the holidays if either, one, we have stead of drink. times  been there, done that. too much time with family or, two, we I also made sure I had “an out” if I felt And I find if people persist in wanting have no family and are spending the uncomfortable. I would either drive my- me to have a drink, I simply tell them holidays alone. self or ride with someone who would be that drinking is a privilege and that I’ve If we have too much family time dur- willing to leave if necessary. I also sug- used mine all up. It works for me. I hope ing the holidays, we might be bom- gest that recovering alcoholics, both new and seasoned, talk to their sponsors dur- it works for you. barded with decorating, shopping, and ing the holidays. celebrating. If we belong to a family of I was amazed that I never felt the need drinkers — and many of us do! — we to drink during my first sober holidays. by Bob B., Georgetown might forget that we will never be a My sobriety date is May 13, 2010, normal drinker. and I do a few things to ensure my Those of us who have no close family sobriety during this time of the year. might feel lonely like we usually don’t by Tamara A., Cornerstone First, I recruit a “,” at other times of the year. Take meals, clothes and gifts to the that is, I take along a non-drinking Don’t let loneliness be your trigger. homeless. This helped when I didn’t friend who won’t pressure me to drink. Each of us must HALT: we must not get have my family with me during those Second, when I’m with friends who too hungry, angry, lonely or tired. And first years. drink, I encourage them to enjoy their each of us must be on guard. I finally realized it was a choice to be holiday wine or alcoholic beverage be- No Christmas miracle of becoming a alone. I learned there many AA groups cause I want them to relax around me. I open during the holidays filled with “normal drinker.” No eggnog, no spiked know their drinking will not be a trigger people just like me who wanted to be punch, no wassail for us. for me. with family. I did NOT have to be alone. And watch out for that round, pow- Third, I now spend most of my holi- Most of all give into all the joy of the day time with my grandchildren who dered morsel — it just might be a rum season even if it feels corny at first. I have never seen me “bad” and their ball. The traditions and pressures of the was way too cool to have fun when I presence is an inspiration to me that I season, including the expectation of hap- first got to will never get “bad” again. piness just because it is that time of year, AA. Finally, I pray I will always be a good might cause us to think, “one toast won’t When I example to my grandchildren and for the hurt; after all, it IS Christmas.” let down strength never to do anything “stupid” my guard, again. We all must remember that staying I had a I try not to complicate things. Simple sober one day at a time — even if the blast. is good for me. day is a holiday — is our top priority.

4 How Did “Good Luck” Peas Get Their Start? The “good luck” traditions the time of the American Civil War. of eating black-eyed peas at Another suggested beginning of the Rosh Hashana, the Jewish tradition dates back to the Civil War, ating black- New Year, are recorded in when Union troops, especially in areas eyed peas on the Babylonian Talmud, targeted by General Sherman, typically NewE Year's Day is believed to according to Wikipedia. stripped the countryside of all stored bring abundance and prosperity In the United States, the first food, crops, and livestock, and de- probably because they resemble Sephardic Jews arrived in stroyed whatever they could not carry coins. When cooked, the peas Georgia in the 1730s, and away. At that time, Northerners consid- swell up greatly increasing their have lived there continu- ered “field peas” and field corn suitable volume, much as you want your wealth ously since. The Jewish practice was only for animal fodder, and did not steal to expand during the coming year. apparently adopted by non-Jews around or destroy these humble foods. Black-Eyed Peas Spicy Style Gift of Sobriety … cont’d. from page 1 Serves 3 to 4 1 (15.5 ounce) can black-eyed peas with PatMc...places I had no idea how I got “You’re not an alcoholic” I would reply, liquid there. “Yes I am too an alcoholic.” 1/2onion, chopped My “trusty” car quickly became a The back and forth bantering solidi- minced jalapeno pepper to taste liability. It was the first car I ever fied in my mind that I was a “real” alco- ground black pepper to taste bought new. It was a Subaru, and got holic. There was never a question in my Directions me from party to party, bar to bar. mind even when I would hear AA In a medium-size pot, combine black- When I got sober in Feb. 28, 1980, I speakers tell of losing everything. The eyed peas, onion, jalapeno peppers, and still had stuff  my Subaru, a place to only thing I had lost was myself, which I black pepper (to taste). Heat all ingredi- live, food in the fridge and a job. learned was of far greater value than ents to simmer, let cook 30 minutes. I also came into the program full of stuff. Texas Classic Caviar myself. I had majored in cool since I I realize today what a gift my sobriety Makes 5 cups was 13, when I had my first drink. I is. I didn’t then. I simply took it for 2 (15.8 ounce) cans black-eyed peas, thought I knew it all, fancied myself an granted that I was sober and I didn’t drained intellectual and was a non-believer. I have to get arrested anymore or have car 1 (14.5 ounce) can petite diced tomatoes, was hip, slick and cool, and as you wrecks or be embarrassed about what I drained know, cool people make up their own had been told I had done the night be- 2 fresh medium jalapenos, stemmed, rules. We certainly don’t follow other’s fore. seeded and minced rules. I never realized what a gift my Higher 1 small onion, cut into small dice As an older-the-average college stu- Power had given me. I needed to keep ½ yellow bell pepper, stemmed, seeded dent, I worked my way through college. my bartending job and I needed to stay and cut into small dice It took five years for me to get my sober. With God’s grace I got to do 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro bachelor’s degree in journalism. I sup- both. And I got to graduate from the uni- 6 tablespoons red wine vinegar ported myself by working in bars, either versity  sober. 6 tablespoons olive oil (not extra virgin) as a cocktail waitress or a bartender. I 1/2 teaspoon salt made good money and it allowed me to 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper pay my tuition, rent, utilities, fuel, and Rosanne P...As a recovering alcoholic, I 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder food and of course partying, but who thank my Higher Power for sobriety. My 1 teaspoon dried oregano needs to pay for partying when you sobriety is a gift. I did not earn it; it was 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin work in a bar. freely given to me by my God. I do not Directions My first year of sobriety, I worked as know why I was given sobriety. Before I Mix all ingredients in a medium bowl; a bartender. I would take my chips into got sober, I didn’t think it was a gift I cover and refrigerate 2 hours or up to the bar when it was my night to work. I needed. Why I received the gift when 2 days. Before serving, adjust seasonings would show them to by “pet” customers others didn’t is a mystery to me. to taste, adding extra vinegar, salt and who would argue with me that I wasn’t pepper. Transfer to a serving bowl. an alcoholic. When they would say (continued on page 5) 5

The Gift of Sobriety … cont’d. from page 1 I think of my brother on New Year’s It is extraordinary to experience the In a way, I feel like I am growing up Eve 1997. New Year’s Eve had always gift of being in recovery from a disease emotionally, mentally, physically and been a big, drinking event for him — that kills so many people every day  spiritually away from my two children lots of beer, champagne, and/or mixed alcoholics who have received the Gift of for a great reason. They have not had to drinks to bring in the New Year. On Sobriety are the lucky ones. see mom on days I was not so “with it,” New Year’s Eve 1997, my brother died We have somehow stumbled and aware or had clarity. in a hospital bed. His liver could no sometimes been shoved into Alcoholics Now when we I go visit them in Bos- longer “clean house” as it was supposed Anonymous where we learn how to get ton, Massachusetts, my son and daugh- to; his liver had been scarred beyond use and stay sober. It is a life changing event. ter have me but I am new. by alcohol. In AA we find out how to live by the It seems that I had never been on My brother was offered the gift of 12 Steps and Traditions, have a solid earth until I stepped foot into my first sobriety by AAers doing Twelfth Step relationship with a Higher Power of our AA meeting at Lake Highlands on Nov. work. He dismissed them as “do- own understanding, and learn the impor- 15, 2011. gooders.” He wasn’t ready. Even though tance of service to others in and out of In one year, I have more than I ever he was yellow, on a donor list for a liver . have acquired in a lifetime of 44 years. he would never receive, alone, and really Newcomers are the lifeblood of the Gift is a small word for such an enor- sick, he hadn’t hit rock bottom. He had AA program. We need to remember mous feeling of gratitude. to die to get sober. what we were like when we came to My brother died of this disease nine AA. The newcomers keep us focused on years before I got sober. I had been the meaning of what it was like when we Cherry K...no way I would have be- pretty rough on my brother. I judged and came to AA. lieved it, or even considered it. condemned him for drinking, for losing The Gift of Sobriety is a precious one For so long, I had been going down- jobs, for his wife divorcing him, for los- and one that I revere. I must maintain a hill, increasing the speed every year. ing contact with his kids, for all the spiritual condition. It is absolutely nec- Complete fear and insanity had turned things a real alcoholic does. essary for sustaining a recovery from into my own normal, and I honestly When I found AA, I remembered this fatal disease called . while making my Eighth Step list that I thought it just had to be that way forever. shared this family disease with him. I Looking back, I had pretty much needed to make an amends to my brother given up on feeling better or improving for my intolerant and Holier-Than-Thou Traci A...that everyone else had been my life in any way. I didn’t think I could attitude toward him. already privy to from the get-go was, at live without drinking. I couldn’t under- My sponsor helped me think of a liv- first, strange. The new awareness of stand that concept. ing amends. Every time I sit in a chair at reality for me was like seeing life for the When I finally got to a point so low an AA meeting, I am sitting there for first time. that I knew I would die without help, it him as well as for me. I am living my My children come to me for guidance was only then that I became willing to hear a tiny bit of what you sober folks amends to him by staying sober and by as they once did before my two rehab had to say. being thankful for the gift of sobriety I stays, supervised visitation, and having to move half-way cross country from You did not try to push anything on received that he never did. them in order to have a home (which is me or talk me into anything. You told called “my parent’s house” in Dallas). me about the gift of sobriety, how it The super awesome part is, not only works, and how I would have to work it. For quite some time, I was leery and Susan P...holidays by counting our do my 12- and 14-year-old children seek fearful, but I had to give it a try  see if blessings for the ways in which we have my input on certain issues, but they somehow it could work for me, too. To “listen” (without sighing or making gained more serenity and gratitude for my complete amazement and awe, it did snide comments) throughout my conver- our new way of life. I know that in the and continues to work for me even after past I used to spend a lot of time indulg- sations with them. more than three years of sobriety. My ex-husband also seeks my help, ing in self-pity and depression. This, I We don’t often reject a gift time and and advice on select issues regarding thought, made it totally acceptable to time again before we finally grasp on our kids. I will take select for now. I tight and never let it go. drink, trying to escape from the emo- recently got a free pass from two years tional pain familiar to many alcoholics. of supervised visitation in November. (continued on back page) Back Page News, Updates & Events … Group Contributions more on aadallas.org October/November 2012 DECEMBER Oct. Nov. DIA Holiday Open House/Volunteer Appreciation: A Daily Reprieve 311.93 0.00 Wednesday, Dec. 12. Help Intergroup thank our wonderful Addison 0.00 40.00 volunteers and celebrate the holidays with food, fun and Allen 50.00 50.00 fellowship. We will have snacks, sodas and sweets. Start the Bridging the Gap 12.00 0.00 holiday season with us and set the mood. All our regular of- Broad Highway 40.00 0.00 Carrollton 200.00 200.00 fice volunteers will receive their yearly gifts. Carry the Message 0.00 110.27 67th Anniversary AA in Austin: Thursday, Dec. 13. Doors Clean Air 51.00 120.00 open at 6 p.m., dinner 7 to 8 p.m. AA Speaker: Rich B, Clean Air Garland 63.43 0.00 Ocean City, MD, 8p.m. and Dance from 9:30 p.m. to mid- Clean Air North 0.00 1,492.45 night. Double Tree Hotel, 6505 IH-35 North, Austin, 78752. Colony 40.00 20.00 Tickets available online via PayPal. Cost is $25 per person. Cornerstone 0.00 125.00 Ten people can reserve a table for $250. Dallas North 370.00 2,870.00 CHRISTMAS EVE and DAY Denton Unity 17.34 0.00 Extra Christmas Eve and Day Meetings at McKinney Downtown Nooners 0.00 800.00 Miracle Group: Monday, Dec. 24 Christmas Eve, additional Duncanville 0.00 75.00 meetings for one day only include 9 a.m. O-D, and 3 p.m. Frisco 1,518.89 0.00 O-D; Tuesday, Dec. 25 Christmas Day, additional meetings Georgetown 320.00 260.00 Gift of Sobriety 0.00 20.00 for one day only include 9 a.m. O-D, 3 p.m. O-D and 9 p.m. Highland Park Women’s 110.00 150.00 candlelight, 1516 Louisiana St, McKinney, 75069. Independence 40.00 0.00 Various groups are having potluck open-house type Kessler Park 500.00 0.00 events throughout the day. Please check with individual Lake Highlands 20.00 20.00 groups to see if they are having potlucks. McKinney Miracle 606.41 307.60 NEW YEAR’S EVE New Freedom 0.00 13.20 1. Lambda will have its Big D Roundup fundraiser drag show ODAAT 100.00 0.00 immediately following the 8 p.m. speaker meeting. They also Preston 400.00 0.00 do the count-down at midnight. Prosper Country 78.74 0.00 2. Belwood is having its New Year’s Eve dance following its Richardson 30.00 30.00 8 p.m. meeting. Ross Avenue 10.00 0.00 3. Many groups throughout Dallas will have New Year’s Eve Rowlett 5.00 15.00 dances. Please check with individual groups to see if they Rule 62 0.00 3.00 Seniors in Sobriety 28.00 5.00 are having one. Serenity Circle 25.00 0.00 NEW YEAR’S DAY Simply AA 50.00 0.00 Various groups are having potluck open-house type Southwest Clean Air 50.48 50.48 events throughout the day. Please check with individual Town North 0.00 25.00 groups to see if they are having potlucks. White House 50.00 50.00 JANUARY Wylie 10.00 10.00 DAAMES Meeting at DIA: Saturday, Jan. 5, 9 to 10:30 a.m. Total $5,108.22 $6,848.00 DAAMES takes meetings to Gatesville Women’s Prison the cont’d from page 5...Gift of Sobriety, Cherry K. second Saturday of every month. “We are a group who insist But, I know that is what it took for me to finally let even on having fun for a very serious matter-AA/recovery behind the idea of sobriety into my life. Today, I am beyond grate- bars. No jail/prison experience is necessary, just ful for the many years of misery that I had to endure before sobriety and a desire to carry the message.” Learn more finally believing and accepting the gift that was so freely. about becoming a volunteer and meet current volunteers to By far, my sobriety is the best gift that I have ever received; plan the 2013 calendar for this incredible 12-Step work. one I gladly share with others alcoholics.